#sorry I haven't been online much

[brandycranby]

the way i miss ren so much already :(

i miss her too nonnie, i miss her so so much. every time i see any of the asks she sent me or her username, i want to beat my chest and cry.

to be honest, my dash feels so dead and empty, i don't want to be on tumblr. there are voids where my friends are but i can't let myself be another one. a small eulogy for dearest ren and her blog:

she was the kindest, the sweetest. gentle in a way that made me want to embrace romance again. lovely like the beautiful soul she was. ren was funny, was bold, was daring in her own little way. every little bit of vulnerability she put out made me feel seen and made me want to be stronger, be kinder, be a better friend so that we could commiserate together because I realized it hurt to see her hurt. i miss her. i don't think i'll ever know another person like her and i'm grateful that we could be friend, even for a short while.

[nipuni]

Once again I bring you some Eriks 😊

[october-cryptixx]

just started getting into pmd eos recently so i present to you

my little guys!!

[missingn000]

[be-not-defeated-by-the-rain]

"Um excuse me but I'm the new housekeeper.... may you show me your dorm so that I may clean it?"

@pleasepress1forfrontdesk

Oh! I actually don't live in my dorm! I have one because the President wants me to feel at home here so it's actually empty because I'm live at my farm

[chiimeramanticore]

[equalseleventhirds]

it is so late and i am so tired and i haven't even been online much lately, but i've been ruminating abt ttrpgs (as i have endless rumination time at work and on the train, which is 80% of my time anyway)

and abt the like, unreasonable mindset ppl get into abt dnd 5e due to Marketing and also Actual Plays. u kno, that it can Do Anything, that u don't gotta know the rules, that the dm should plan a conventional narrative and u gotta stick to it, that it's for cute queer found families, roleplaying rollplaying bullshit, etc.

and sometimes there's posts from ppl who are outside of that mindset like, wow try another game, but also pls don't bring that mindset to other games we love. u kno.

and maybe i simply spend a lot of time in podcast & streaming circles and also circles of ppl who learned ttrpgs from podcasts & streaming, but, crucially, i don't play d&d

so i meet a lot of ppl who have moved past d&d, right. but. still have that mindset abt their new favorite game(s).

like, 'oh unlike d&d this is actually a queer found family narrative' they say abt a heavily pvp game where u can be queer but it's not about queerness.

'oh unlike d&d you can create a real story' they say, as the gm ignores the handy Make Situations sheet the game comes with and plans a 5-act narrative years in advance.

'oh unlike d&d this game is about ROLEplaying not ROLLplaying' they say, ignoring the social mechanics of the game in order to draw out talky scenes. for character work. for realism. for the story.

'oh unlike d&d this one is so easy to learn' they say, not reading huge and relevant sections of the book until halfway through the session.

i could go on. once i played a kinda weird and poetic indie game with folks whose primary game was motw, and the amount of 'hey this weird and poetic mechanic doesn't make literal sense to me as a character action' haunts me.

and it is immensely frustrating, bcos like.... on the one hand, god i'm glad you're playing something that's not d&d!! that's so important!! on the other hand, you likely learned about this game through an actual play where they (hopefully) used the basic mechanics for stuff, but mostly ran the story like a 5e actual play.

like, i love the adventure zone, but my god you're gonna come out of amnesty or steeplechase with a WILD misunderstanding of the themes and story even a lot of the mechanics of motw or bitd. (both games i like very much. but don't play them like the mcelroys.) or like, god i'm glad the d20 folks are having such fun with kob-adjacent games. but do NOT learn kob from them.

and listening to famous ppl do that to a game i like is one thing. a frustrating thing, to be sure. but participating in a game like this, or even hearing my friends & acquaintances play like this? hateful. makes me grit my teeth and cry. makes me make weirder and weirder game mechanics, which hopefully i'll make into coherent games someday.

anyway, this is all to say, before you start your found family motw game where u will team up with the monsters to save everything and maybe also bigfoot is there, a. stop listening to taz amnesty, b. read, really REALLY read apocalypse world and get a handle on THAT, c. go reread motw and think hard abt it, and d. watch buffy and supernatural a bit. yeah i know they suck. think rly hard abt that scene in buffy where xander chooses not to tell buffy that angel will get his soul back so buffy has to kill her and then no one ever finds out abt that and i HATE that scene but also it's the kind of thing motw was built for, you see.

also play weirder games and adjust ur expectations but whatever.

[avalost]

Tagged by @wyllesbian - thank you for the tag! <3

No pressure tagging @nicolajpg @blackfeathercourt @shewhowas39 @bucketsofmonsters ~

[ohlympns]

heyo, so I know I said something about cleaning out my drafts a bit ago, and I'll be doing that now. I wanna jump start myself in being here a little which means I need a fresh start. please come message me for any plotting/chatting! otherwise, I'll try and find some memes.

[bleep-bloop-boo]

I want to ___ you

(this is an ask game I think)

ooooo

i want to discover an old library and spend a decade with pnly each other's company trying to discover the secrets of the world, when one day we figure out the secrets of alexandria only for our research to be burned and then we get stuck in a time loop where we watch all of live's work get destroyed in a myriad of ways so we can finally understand that the knowledge we unlocked is too much for humanity to bear and the fates will always revert the downfall that will occur when its revealed with you

[storybycorey]

.

[godnectar]

do u like Marina ??? (like Marina and the diamonds)

only listened to a few songs ngl– but I actually did like those, yeah! always up to recos bub🥹🫶

[hueningkai]

happy birthday @yeonjuins ♡

[liaazhang]

Is the 12th day of april sweet, i guess so☕

(Gir2 day!!!)

[biracy]

Tbh I should probably take a break. I almost definitely won't but I should, yknow

[yisanged]

our schedules for next year are out..... i don't have that many classes with friends but i was expecting as much. i have my required second pe class weightlifting at the end of the day for a semester.. not sure how i feel about it i just didn't want to do the other thing cause it's like more competitive sports stuff i would get ripped apart but i heard the teacher's nice for this one at least i think it might be kind of fun and i'm glad i'm not gonna be that one random senior in gym like i was worried about. i know this one other person i'm sorta friends with we haven't talked much lately but they're a rhythm gamer and nice and funny and they said they wanted to do weightlifting i hope they'll be in my period.. everyone that's looked at my schedule says i'm going to die next year including some upperclassmen. not a great sign. but one of them did say as long as i don't die and do well on the tests i would be "stacked" for college well that's the plan. still have no idea what i'm gonna do for research junior year but well. exams start next wednesday yikes we have a math test on monday which is crazy but it's fine just unit circle stuff unit circle's like my best friend it actually makes sense to me and isn't super hard