#sorry I haven't been very active due to work related stuff!!!

[renardtrickster]

hey!! due to possible embarassment im going anonymous so i dont out myself as the most borderline obsessive ruby/nan quest fan out there

but have you ever had a phase where youve tried to coax your friends/mutuals in an attempt to fill up the empty community while also commissioning related content in some desire to experience something new cause not a lot of people make new stuff for rq and nq anymore graah

Sorry for letting this one sit for a few weeks, my laptop still isn't fixed yet. Also this is THE place to be extremely borderline obsessive about stuff, even though claiming to be "the biggest RQ fan" means you now have to fistfight me for rights to the title.

I've definitely "coaxed", but in more of the passive "hey look at this cool thing" and talking about it semi-frequently in "talk about media you like" spaces and stuff. Which has been semi-successful, everyone I chat with at least knows about those quests and has prolly read them. And I don't think I've ever tried to commission anything unfortunately.

Also yeah, I know what you mean in terms of not a lot of stuff happening. Which I imagine is for a couple of reasons.

RQ ended roughly 15 years ago, and NQ 9 years ago, so we're a bit (fashionably) late to when it was active.

Speaking of activity, being heavily interactive and mystery-themed, the blood would be pumping most when people were still asking questions, finding answers, and Doing Stuff. Some questions are still open to ask about, and things to talk about, and excitement for Really Good Media never dies, but still.

Adding onto THAT, the majority of the activity for both were on 4chan and questden, neither of them traditional or very well known forms of social media (except the former, but it's not "popular"), and neither very conducive to long-term content or "fandom".

And finally, "quests" have always been niche to my understanding, so a specific quest would be twice-over.

It's a lot of numbers but the math still adds up to "not that much activity". Or at the very least it's occasional. Still cool as hell when it pops up. Regardless, my preferred coping mechanism is in Adjacency. Weaver's done other quests, and Dive Quest is still ongoing (it's being updated right now as I type). He's also done other non-quest work, like Boxdog or Pack Street or whathaveyou (all really good). And there's also a lot of other good quests on questden made by other creators. Re-reading DiveQuest, I suddenly remembered Knight Blades was meant to be an official story running in parallel, and while I somehow did not yet read Knight Blades specifically yet (super Getting Distracted powers GO), I did go through Reaver's other catalogue of works, which has been an interesting and somewhat tumultous experience.

And regardless of anything, we still have some of the OG shooters running around. fyeahrubyandnanquest was active as late as 2021 (and still has stuff I haven't seen or reblogged yet), and I don't know if you've ever heard of them (;D) but someone called rubysvn has a fansite up with all sorts of goodies like an old RQ remake, information on lost media, and so on. So it's definitely a low energy sort of fandom, but nowhere near a dead one.

[littlefireofhestia]

hi! i'm sage and i was going through the "hestia devotee" tag and found a post of yours that said you were open for questions about her. i don't know how old that post is or if you're still taking questions, you can ignore this if you're not, but since i'm here i wanted to talk/ask about something.

i'm a baby witch (like the babiest of babies, almost a new born) and most of my experience is through reading and watching since i don't currently have time or resources to do any practice other than lighting incenses or candles or working with crystals. and i definitely don't know any form of divination, like tarot or pendulum, that would allow me to do actual deity work and properly communicate with them.

the thing is, i've researched deities from multiple pantheons multiple times, mostly out of curiosity, but the moment i came across a prayer to hestia my heart skipped a beat and i immediately felt a kind of comfort. it could have been nothing, but i still researched all i could about her and just. i've never felt this drawn to a deity before, much less felt a pull to actually worship one. but i feel very much that way about her.

i looked up ways to honour her and i'm genuinely shocked at how happy it's been making me. i'm finding joy in domestic activities i used to loathe, like washing the dishes or helping with house cleaning. i tried baking a cake all by myself for the first time and lit an orange candle for her while doing it. it turned out absolutely delicious, i discovered i actually really enjoy baking and even started my own cook notebook with some of my grandma's old recipes. i make a point to always tie my hair back when i'm doing something that makes me think of her or in her honour, like making tea or baking or making dinner for my family or cleaning, because i saw people talking about how she appreciates veiling but i don't know how to do it so i just tie my hair in a bun instead of putting on a scarf. and i used to hate tying my hair, but now i feel very good about it!

i've always struggled with feeling connected to religion and never really understood how that could bring peace to someone, but i haven't felt this grounded or loving towards my family and pets or in peace with myself as much as i have since i started doing things as acts of devotion to hestia.

now, on to the actual problem: i'm scared it's all in my head. i'm worried i'm not enough of a witch to worship a deity yet, since i'm still trying to learn ways of communication and can't directly ask her if she's with me. i'm scared that the little things i'm doing aren't enough and the comfort and faith i feel while doing them are my imagination and not actually her watching over me and appreciating my effort.

anyways, i'm really sorry for dumping these worries on you but i didn't see many hestia related blogs and i really needed to ask someone about this. is what i'm doing enough of a worship right now? do you have any tips on how to worship her better? thank you!

Hi Sage! I don’t know when you sent this ask so I’m sorry if it’s been a while since you sent it and my response is late. When I read this ask for the first time I nearly cried tears of joy. Before anything I do want to say that you’re doing amazing sweetie!

I’m always open to questions about Hestia.

First off, there is no prerequisite to worshipping deities. I am admittedly not a witch and worship the gods exclusively for religious reasons and not for witchcraft. I have not learned many divination methods yet (although I have used the very handy Greek Alphabet Oracle a few times) and my rituals are still relatively basic, mostly not even occurring on an altar. But I have felt Hestia. I have been in her presence. I have received dreams from other deities and signs. None of this is required to happen to believe in or worship the theoi, but I just want to assure you that beyond doing some research to figure out who you want to pray to and how to do prayer and ritual, there are no prerequisites to worship. My first prayer to Hestia was literally me throwing a scarf over my head and talking to her in the dark with a flashlight to represent a flame. No formal structure. Didn’t even know how to correctly hold my hands yet. And still she accepted me.

The vibe you get from Hestia is very much similar to my experience. I’ve been drawn to her for YEARS but didn’t know I could worship her. But she’s always felt like home and comfort and just right for me. I never ever had a reason why she was my favorite deity before becoming pagan. She just was. My connection to Hestia has been a fact for over a decade that I just didn’t know was religious until a year and a half ago. Me wondering if I could worship her is the reason why I started researching Hellenic Polytheism in the first place. She brought me to this faith and I am so thankful to her for that.

You finding joy in domestic activities you used to hate is something I’ve discovered through Hestia too, although it’s still a journey I’m early on due to depression and physical disability and having a lot of work to do on figuring out how to make things accessible for me. I’m excited to go further for and with Hestia.

I understand the thought about it being all in your head. I had those thoughts early in my practice too. Basically, belief is a process. It takes time to switch from whatever religious thought (or lack thereof) that you grew up with to polytheism and worshipping a variety of deities or even just one deity, and from there to truly believing in them. I’ve been practicing for a year and a half and it probably took me at least nine months to truly feel secure in my faith in the theoi. Research, pray, do ritual, devote acts to the gods, think about the gods, notice the influence of the theoi in your daily life, and gradually that belief will solidify. You may or may not receive signs, which may or may not speed this process up. I promise, if you want to believe in the gods, in Hestia, it just takes time.

Also on feeling that you aren’t doing enough, the video at the bottom of this post (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odhRRYqQo8Y) might help. And I promise: you are doing enough, you are enough, just as you are.

Now as for worship tips. You are honestly doing great so far. Thinking of her while doing household chores and tasks or dedicating those tasks for her is a great way to worship her. I’d also recommend checking out her Homeric and Orphic hymns, one translation of which can be found here, and a copy of the Homeric hymns can likely be found at a local bookstore or definitely through online ordering. The Homeric hymns can also start to teach you some stuff about prayer structure, but prayer doesn’t have to be formal. Sometimes I just sit and talk to Hestia, or to any of my other deities. Tell them about my day, thank them for things in my life or the world, and sometimes asking them for things (although I find that I ask for aid much more rarely than when I prayed as the Catholic I was raised to be). I also have perpetually in progress playlists I have made for my deities, and if I want to spend some non-ritual time just focusing on a deity I’ll put on their playlist and read something religious or talk in religious discords. I actually had my most profound spiritual experience with Hestia while doing this.

Last but not least, worshipping Hestia, or any other deity, is something you have your whole life ahead of you to do. Take it at your own pace. Faith is all about the journey. The destination is irrelevant. There is no deadline or leveling up system, no authority checking your progress. As I have experienced time and time again, the gods will very much meet you where you are. A few months ago I was in a deep depression and did not do any ritual for several months. When I finally did a ritual again, I felt Hestia’s warm hand on my shoulder, as if to say “I miss you, welcome home”. I promise, Hestia will always welcome you home.

P.S. I know this ask is anonymous but Sage, feel free to message me with any additional questions about Hestia or worshipping deities in general. I’m here if you need any more help.

[primergon]

I'm not sure if you're still doing these and it's fine if you don't since you have your own life and can be busy but if it's alright, may I request a tfp match up?

I'm 5'3, asexual and chubby and go by she/her.

I'm calm and withdrawn at first, I'm usually very silent when I'm surrounded by people I am not comfortable with. I have suspicions that my selective mutism that I had when I was younger may still be around because there are some situations that require to speak, I get uncomfortable and find it hard to say anything. I don't know, it's just a thought, not sure if I still kind of have it. I just kinda hate being forced to talk when I don't want to. I don't go out much, I prefer indoors, I only go out if I have to.

But yeah, when I'm surrounded by people I'm comfortable with, I'm more talkative and more expressive of my emotions. I don't have many friends in real life but I do have a few online ones.

I usually prefer texting than verbally talking to be honest. Its just easier for me to express. Not like I could physically see my two best friends since I had to move last year but luckily we have discord 💀🤚 otherwise my dumbass can't even go out to try and make friends nor even want to.

I like games, though, I'm also a procrastinator and a lazy person. I tend to procrastinate on my school work and other things like watching a certain anime, tv show, movie and even with playing games. I have a game block 😔👊.

I don't know, but I can be insecure about myself but I try to be positive about some qualities I have. Anyone could compliment me, I mean, there's nothing to compliment anyways, I would just say that they blind or something or wrong. I get insecure when I show people my music taste only because they just seem uninterested when I play it 😔👊. My friends reckon I'm smart but I just don't apply myself to my assignments... Idk, I believe I'm just stupid. Somehow, I don't get stressed out easily, even when a due date is coming up and I haven't done much in my assignment. But that probably depends on the subject and how important it is for it to be done, otherwise I will start getting a little stressed. I don't believe that my problems should matter ever, because I've had a good childhood, a loving family, though occasionally, I have some problems with my dad otherwise we're usually fine. I mean, my friends and many other people have it worse than me so that's why I don't think my problems are relevant.

I can get childish and get distracted easily. Like, I could be doing an assignment or homework and after 30 seconds, I'm on my phone or doing something else 💀. Sometimes, I need things dumbed down for me because I'm just like, "what??"

I love comedy and laughing, it's just fun. I like memes and sending cursed memes to my friends or anyone else that happens to be on the same server I am. To be honest, I'm active 24/7 on discord and mostly active on one server because I socially suck to talk on any other. I'm not a fan of horror because obviously it's scary yet I like watching people play horror games 🤔.

I'm not a fan of physical affection, but it depends on who the person is and how comfortable I get with them like my family for example. My love language would be quality time I think but only a bit of physical affection if I'm comfortable enough ig 😕.

I've never been in a relationship before because I fear cheating, arguments, having a significant other bored of me and all the other problems. And because I'm not that interest in romance that much at the moment in my life

In regards to people having problems in their life and they vent to me, I find it hard to comfort them. I try to do my best but I suck at it. I usually don't know what to say and I wish I knew. It's not that I don't care, I do, I'm just more of a listener than a talker but I try to find some words to say in attempt to help. It's a little easier for me to comfort someone online than in person, I'd probably be silent.

I'm good at keeping secrets, I would take them to the grave, though sometimes I can forget depending on the secret. I can be a forgetful person, not only with some secrets but other stuff I'm suppose to remember 😭.

I love music, I can't tell what genre I like, I like many songs. I'm also an animal lover and currently doing animal studies, which mostly revolves around dogs at the moment but I'm looking forward for the cat part, I love cats, I have two of them.

I'm sorry for all this information, now that I look at it, that's alot. I'm sorry 😭🤚

A/N : Hi Anon! Thanks for sending this ask, I hope you're doing well (｡𓎆 𓎺 𓎆) Don't worry about the long descriptions, I don't mind! I think I'll pair you up with tfp Smokescreen !

TFP SMOKESCREEN

01 | Smokescreen has a way of making you feel at home. In the beginning, you were reluctant to open up, yet once you've gotten to know the playful mech, you find it easy to talk to Smokescreen. You enjoy listening to him ramble on and on and on and find no trouble comforting him when he needs to hear it. In return, Smokescreen is more than happy to speak on your behalf whenever you don't feel like talking. He may be enthusiastic by nature but he isn't pushy. He never forces you to do something you're not okay with and makes you feel safe. This is why eventually you opened up to him and both of you became fast friends.

02 | Texting with Smokescreen is never boring. He's always ready with a handful of reaction pictures and a dozen of emojis when chatting with you. The young mech is naturally expressive and curious, which is why he's always up to date with the latest memes and trends. ( The way Smokescreen text may frustrate Ultra Magnus at times but it never fails to make you laugh.)

03 | Two of you share a lot of common interests which is why you get along so well. Ever since Jack taught him how to play video games, he's been asking you to indulge him. Smokescreen can also sometimes feel worn out and choose to watch movies with you indoors instead, following the plot of your favorite anime and always quoting them on the battlefield. He's not picky and is almost up for anything as long as you get to spend some quality time.

04 | With his positive, upbeat attitude, Smokescreen rarely seems upset or dissatisfied on the outside. But his inner idealism can leave the mech with a nagging feeling that some major areas of their life just aren’t good enough – which would sometimes make him feel insecure. The two of you seem to understand and relate to each other's experiences, making you comfort buddies that lift each other's spirits whenever you both feel down. He reminds you constantly that your problems matter and he's more than happy to listen to you vent, while you assure him that he is good enough because he's trying his best.

05 | He knows you're afraid of starting a relationship, and while he can be a bit impatient and bold, Smokescreen is more than happy to take it slow with you. While he himself is disorganized, Smokescreen tries his best to remind you to catch up on schoolwork. ( Smokescreen tells himself he's turning into Ultra Magnus whenever he finds himself nagging you.) He doesn't take it against you when you don't get what others are saying and is more than willing to rephrase it for better understanding.

06 | Smokescreen thinks you're special. He loves how you're so good with animals and how you seem to have all the right songs to show him. Smokescreen can watch you play with your cats for hours and has a copy of your playlist for him to listen to whenever he feels down. He finds it adorable how you can be forgetful at times and admires how loyal you are in keeping secrets. ( Like that one time you covered for him and saved him from being yelled at by Ratchet.) He doesn't see any flaw in you and even if he does, he accepts that as a part of you : his favorite human.

I hope you enjoy this Anon ! xx

[cuttlefishkitch]

hello! i haven't talked to you before, but ron said that i could ask you for some advice on writing eds? (i'd like to know things to avoid/common things that could come up in everyday life that would be good to mention/the sort of aids and stuff they'd have maybe?/anything else you think is relevant)

Hi! Sorry this took so long, a combination of ADHD and chronic pain slowed me way the fuck down. Thank you for being patient! 

EDIT: WEIRD HEEL THINGS I FORGOT!!

So, before I get into this I should probably say I technically haven’t been diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS for anyone reading) because it’s one of those syndromes that takes forever to get diagnosed with (it took a friend of mine’s mother over 30 years to get dxed). Many doctors, and everyone I know who does have EDS agree with me that it’s probably what causes my chronic joint pain and some of my other chronic issues. But just because three separate doctors have said “Yeah Probably” doesn’t mean I’m diagnosed!! Only a geneticist can do that!! And they had two-three year waitlists BEFORE the apocalypse happened.

I am diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Small Fiber Neuropathy, and potentially misdiagnosed with Fibromyalgia (once I get properly tested for EDS I might get undiagnosed with this because I don’t have most of the main symptoms of Fibro, but I got diagnosed with it anyway because it’s what doctors misDX you with when they don’t know what’s wrong with you and don’t want to do more tests).

All that said, I’ve done a lot of research about EDS (mainly because it’s the only thing that explains all my symptoms since doctors seem incapable of doing so), and know a few people who have either confirmed or suspected EDS, so I’ll link to some stuff, talk about the symptoms that often come with EDS, explain how the symptoms I have affect me, because just because someone’s not diagnosed doesn’t mean they aren’t having symptoms, and probs elaborate a bit about writing physical disabilities and chronic pain in general because it’s super important to me! 

So RESOURCES aka how to make sure your post never sees the light of day because you’re linking things and tumblr hates it when people give other people information!!

Youtubers! If you want to know about the day to day of living with EDS or any disability or chronic illness I super suggest finding a youtuber that makes videos about their life. My EDS favorites are

Jessica Kellgren-Fozard

Annie Elainey

Amy Lee Fisher

Websites! If you’re asking random folks on tumblr I’m assuming (and hoping) you’ve already done the basic WebMD google searches and looked over the seemingly ridiculous lists of symptoms and related conditions, so here are a few websites that are made more for people than for doctors.

The Ehlers Danlos Society

OhTWIST (That’s Why I’m So Tired)

ChronicPainPartners (the fact that they have an entire section of articles called “Dealing with Doctors” should really tell you something)

Books! If you feel like doing actual reading! I suggest reading books written by people with Ehlers Danlos, to get a feel for how they portray themselves. I’m not saying steal, but it’s probably a good point of comparison to see how your portrayal feels. (haven’t actually read these b/c my ADHD doesn’t let me read)

Ria Ruse by Morgan S. Ray (a superhero book with a disabled super MC!!)

Mysteries of Maybelle by Imani Benfell (Imani is still in high school and has already written and self-published a book cause she didn’t have enough representation for herself how cool is she!!)

Bodies in Motion by Liana Brooks (tw for pregnancy problems and miscarriages in the link, because it’s a blog post talking about integrating EDS symptoms into the story without explicitly naming them as such)

OKAY, now for some rambling about EDS SYMPTOMS!!!

Ehlers Danlos is one monster of a genetic condition in complexity and variety. There are THIRTEEN different identified types of EDS, it often comes with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) and/or POTS, and can lead to various other conditions like gastroparesis, chiari malformation, craniocervical instability, and/or bad teeth. So if you’re going to be writing a character with EDS consider what other comorbid conditions they might also have. I’m mainly going to be talking about Hypermobile EDS (hEDS) because it’s what I probably have and what I’m most familiar with. That said there is a lot of overlap in symptoms with the other varieties.

I started typing this section and realized I was going to have to break it down even more so we’re going to talk about Chronic Pain, Unstable Joints (Dislocations and Subluxations), Skin Things, Mobility Issues, and Other Weird Shit and how those things get addressed separately.

Gonna get the Other Weird Shit out of the way first. Because EDS is a malfunction of connective tissue it can fuck up all sorts of random things. For instance, I and many other people w/ hEDS have trouble swallowing. Shit gets stuck in my throat, I sometimes choke on and have to cough up food, and pills can be hard to swallow, which sucks cause I take A Lot Of Pills. If it doesn’t cause full-on gastroparesis it can cause IBS or other digestive problems b/c the digestive tract is mostly made of connective tissue. It can potentially cause heart problems even if they aren’t as big of a risk as in some other forms of EDS. Premature osteoarthritis is common because what you need is more joint pain. And Fatigue OH BOY THE FATIGUE. And of course the headaches, can’t forget those pesky migraines can we!

AND piezogenic papules!! I completely forgot!! Piezogenic papules are little white bumps that appear when you put weight on your heel. In some people they hurt, but in others they don’t. They’re technically tiny little herniations of fat peaking through the fascia in the heel. They were added as part of the diagnostic criteria for hEDS in 2017!

Now for Skin Things cause it’s not as big a thing in hEDS as it is in other forms. Basically, in a lot of forms of EDS, the skin is extra stretchy and extra delicate. It bruises and tears easily, people with the extreme versions of this can accidentally scratch something into an open wound if they aren’t careful. My skin is pretty soft and sensitive, I def have the typical velvety skin, and as is pretty par for the course of someone with hEDS my skin is a little stretchy, and sorta delicate. I’m not as tissue-papery as some people get, but I almost always have at least one mystery bruise or scrape b/c existing is hazardous. Most of scars are also pretty normal, unlike the extremely papery and atrophic scars (though I have a few tiny acne scars that are atrophic) that are common with other kinds of hEDS. Something that I DO have is Lots of Stretch Marks, all over my thighs, and even down to my calves. Which wouldn’t be abnormal, except for the fact that I’ve never been over 145 lbs and I’ve never been pregnant. Having a lot of stretch marks or striations in the skin without due cause happens because the structure of the skin isn’t as strong as it is in people with a normal amount of connective tissue.

I don’t have to worry as much about my skin but people that do are usually very careful with adhesives because they can irritate or tear the skin, which sucks when you need a lot of bandaids cause your darn skin won’t do its job.

Now on to the meatier stuff and since I’m mostly working backward let’s do Mobility Issues!! These can happen in loads of ways, but a lot of what causes these in people with EDS are the other two things I wanna talk about. Unstable joints lead to increased risk of injury when doing stuff people with fully functioning joints can do.

For context, I’m an ambulatory wheelchair user, meaning I can walk, but a lot of the time it’s better if use a chair. Mine is mostly for my POTS symptoms, but the fact that my legs aren’t also in absolute agony is a big plus. I use a custom manual wheelchair with a SmartDrive (b/c I’m very fucking fortunate and have good insurance) whenever I leave the house and have to be “walking” for more than a few minutes at a time. I can’t fully self-propel in a manual chair because it would be damaging to the joints in my arms and hands, but the smaller chair is easier to maneuver in less than accessible spaces (like almost everywhere). There was about a month-long span where I used a very cheap and very bulky electric chair while I was waiting on the ideal set up I have now. Before that, I also briefly used, and sometimes still use, an up-right posture cane.

People with EDS have widely varying mobility issues because of how uniquely it can manifest. My cane only gave me a little help with balance because if I used it in any prolonged capacity any pain it took away from my legs was relocated to my arms, and as an artist, my arms are more important to me!

If you’re going to write a character with EDS having mobility issues as a result of their EDS the best thing to do is to narrow down their specific needs. Are their knees complete and utter garbage but their shoulders and wrists strong? Maybe they can get away with using a cane. Can they not stand for longer than 5 minutes because of the vertigo from their POTS? Maybe they need a manual wheelchair. Would propelling themself damage their back and arm joints? An electric chair might be necessary! Plenty of people with EDS use all sorts of combinations of these aides to get around their life, consider how your character’s good and bad days would be. Do they have back up plans if they overestimate themselves? There can be a lot to manage, but don’t let it scare you off! Sometimes I try and make it into a resource management game (because I’m a game designer and that’s what I do), to make evaluating my energy and mobility needs more fun!

But now let's tackle some of the reasons those mobility aides might be needed. Unstable Joints.

Ever stepped wrong and rolled your ankle? It hurts for a few steps and then kinda fixes itself, or maybe it bothers you for the rest of the day and you put it up and ice it when you get home? When I was walking around outside my house that would happen AT LEAST once a month, usually more. Some times I’m sitting wrong and when I get up my knee isn’t a knee anymore and decides to just give out from under me. My knuckles are made of unruly popcorn and they Don’t Want To Stay Home!! Oh! And my shoulder is more often out a little out of its socket than it is fully in.

Unstable joints lead to Dislocations and Subluxations of varying intensity, and some people get them more frequently than others. Some can be severe enough to necessitate hospital visits and even surgery, some subluxations are so banal (like my fUCKING SHOULDER) that you just learn to live with the pain.

If a character is going to be in high action, combat-heavy scenarios, chances are they’re going to be popping out joints left and right. Hell, depending on the severity of their joint laxity they could be doing the same sitting at a desk. Again, it’s incredibly varied. I’d suggest setting some sort of baseline for yourself, of what a character’s joints can and can’t stand up to, and maybe do some research on which joints are most likely to pop out in general (hips and shoulders are big culprits being the wacky ball and socket motherfuckers they are). Then maybe have something pop out or hold up every so often when it shouldn’t cause hey! EDS is kinda just like that! Unpredictable!

Some ways people manage joint laxity is with braces, KT tape, and physical therapy. Braces come in many different forms, since I’m currently getting pretty much no treatment for my shitty joints I use mostly compression braces made for sporty people. It really is amazing how much a bit of tight fabric can do to keep my wrist in place.

More specialized braces often have solid parts to prevent the joints from hyper-extending (bending the wrong way) and causing further damage. If you ever see someone with what looks like diamond shaped rings around a bunch of their finger joints, chances are those are Ring Splints, and are there to keep the finger shaped like a finger. I want to get my hands on some and get some on my hands Very Badly, because my fingers hyper-extend SO MUCH when I type, and it makes my hand pain way way worse.

KT tape is another thing people often use. It’s stretchy tape you put on your skin and it basically functions kinda like a second ligament as well as reinforcing the joint and keeping the bones mostly where they’re supposed to be. The problem with this is a lot of people with EDS have very sensitive and fragile skin like I mentioned before, so KT tape can cause allergic reactions, chronic skin irritation, or just straight up take the skin with it when someone goes to remove it. Hence a lot of folks are really careful with it.

Physical Therapy is kinda the best (and only) treatment for joint laxity aside from Very Invasive and sometimes Highly Experimental surgery. It focuses on strengthening the muscles around the joints so they can do the work all those bone ropes made of body glue can’t. The problem is finding a physical therapist that 1) knows what EDS even is, 2) knows you have it, and 3) knows how to treat it without doing stuff that’ll Phucking Hurt You Worse!! Because exercising wrong with EDS can do Permanent Damage!!!

Again most folks use a combination of all of these things, or have next to no access to them b/c healthcare sucks.

Anyway, on to one of my favorite topics, Chronic Pain!! One of the reasons this post took me so long!!!

Chances are if your character has chronic pain as a result of their EDS there are gonna be some things they hate, including stairs, rain, thunderstorms, stairs, hills, uneven terrain, oh and did I mention stairs??? It’s going to vary person to person, but almost everyone I’ve met with pain from EDS has complained about their knees. For me the most debilitating pain is in my fingers and wrists. They’re by far my least stable joints but I use them constantly for stuff like drawing, typing, and sewing.

Because my joint pain is so wide spread, like most people’s with hEDS, it effects every single part of my day to day life. I can’t carry a heavy ceramic plate, open a bottle, or even use my computer without pain. It’s practically impossible for me to get comfortable in any position be it sitting or laying down, and as you can imagine that makes it hard to sleep a lot of the time. Moving too much hurts, but so does sitting still. I’m constantly taking braces on and off or cracking/stretching my joints so they pop back into place and hurt less.

Also being in pain makes everything else That Much Worse. I get tired way faster than I did before my pain was this bad (I had chronic pain for a while before actually realizing it wasn’t normal to not be able to walk down the block without feeling like your foot bones are trying to escape). My sensory issues and anxiety disorder are more easily aggravated because my base level of comfort is way worse. It fucks with my depression. And OH BOY does it make my ADHD worse because being in pain is fucking distracting as hell and makes it harder to make decisions and switch tasks. Also my ADHD often makes my other symptoms worse cause I forget to take my meds, don’t drink enough water, or can’t find my fucking braces because the item eating black-hole that comes with ADHD stole them. The intersection of mental and physical disabilities is probably a rant for another time though, so back to chronic pain.

Does it suck? Yes, undoubtedly. Is this incredibly debilitating? Of course it is, I spent the last several months unable to feed myself without assistance because there was a staircase between my room and the kitchen and I could only manage to climb it once a day. Is it overwhelming? Definitely, I’ve frequently broken down crying from a combination of pain and frustration because I’m having a bad day and there’s no relief to be found. Am I able to predict when it’s going to rain with uncanny accuracy because any change in barometric pressure makes me feel like every bone in my body is trying to kill it’s neighbors? You bet your fucking ass I am!! Does it sometimes make me irritable, angry, and occasionally dismissive of when abled people get cold or a temporary injury because the stuff they’re complaining about is my life every single day and all avenues of treatment and recovery I have could take years and still not entirely solve my issues? Yeah, and while I deserve a little extra patience I also have to be sure to check myself because I don’t want to turn into someone who’s nasty to be around. Do I sometimes need to sleep for 17 hours straight because it’s raining, I have migraine, and I’m in too much pain to be conscious? Yup, sometimes a few days in a row. Does living in constant pain mean I’m unable to do all the things I want to and does that sometimes make me wanna curl up in bed and never leave? Yeah, it happens.

But! And here’s the big important but, that’s not everything! I still write, draw, and talk to my friends!! It might take me a little longer but I get there. I’m still happy and excitable and make the time to write out five page long posts about EDS because it’s something I’m passionate about! My chronic pain doesn’t stop me. I refuse to let it. I never really wanted to go mountain climbing anyway, so I’m perfectly happy being able to make it up and down the six steps in my house, even if sometimes I have to sit and bump down them on my ass, or crawl up them like a cat. Chronic pain isn’t all I am. It isn’t a fate worse than death. It isn’t the only thing your character should talk about (though I do talk about my pain a lot cause I’m a complainer about almost everything). You can have your character be hindered by their pain, realistically they would be. You can have them seek comfort, support, and relief. Other characters can commiserate and be sympathetic, but it doesn’t mean their whole life is going to be one big pity party, that would be incredibly fucking boring. I know I’d be bored out of my mind.

All that said dealing with chronic pain, especially from EDS, is Complicated. Physical Therapy is the gold standard, but like I said before it can be a long and difficult process, and isn’t always accessible. Stabilization methods like I talked about before can help prevent pain, or reduce it by keeping bones mostly where they belong. Heat and cold help joints, relax muscles, and reduce inflammation but keeping them applied is rough and the relief doesn’t always last. Doctors prescribe anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, and sometimes even anti-epileptic medication to help manage pain, but everyone’s mileage with those varies. And I’m not at all qualified to talk in-depth about narcotics or other heavy duty pain-meds, but suffice to say the war on drugs fucked shit up for people that legit need that kind of help BIG TIME.

Now for my closer/bonus rant about EDS and Disability Writing in General!

Everyone always says write what you know, so if you really want to do disabled people justice, get to know disabled people! Make friends with disabled people, get involved with advocacy groups, consume content made by disabled creators both about disability and not! Disabilities are so fucking diverse, even EDS is such a complex disorder, and comes with so many potential co-morbidities, that practically everyone with it has a unique experience. There’s no way I can fully explain everything in a tumblr post. Hell, even if I could talk to you for hours probably couldn’t give you enough info to answer all your questions (especially since I’m still in diagnosis hell :,) ), so talk to a wide range of people with EDS and other disabilities!! I know it sounds like a lot of work but trust me, disabled people are some of the strongest, raddest, coolest, people you will ever meet that it won’t feel like it.

And don’t be afraid either, the fact that EDS and other disabilities are so wildly varied means that you have a little bit of wiggle room with your character’s experience. There’s so little disability rep out their I think people are WAY to scared to try their hand at writing it. So long as your character is a fully developed person in addition to being disabled, you give some logical thought as to how it would affect their life, and you don’t make their disability the butt of any joke it isn’t difficult to avoid ableist writing. PLEASE WRITE MORE DISABLED PEOPLE AND PEOPLE WITH CHRONIC PAIN/CHRONIC ILLNESS!!

Okay that’s it, again sorry it took so long for me to get back to you! My fingers were being little pests about it, and my ADHD (which is honestly more disabling than everything else a lot of the time lmao) was being an asshole! Hope this helps, and feel free to ask me more questions if you need clarification! It might take me a bit but I do love talking about this stuff.

[make-me-imagine]

congrats on 5.5k!! you're insanely talented and I'm so happy you're getting the recognition you deserve 🥺🥺 could i join in the ship requests too?

I'm a rather small sized (like, 154cm & ~40kg kind of small) Asian female from a South East Asia country and i prefer men, especially men who are taller and Age Gaps™ 🥴 I'm not sure how much you know about/believe in astrology but I'm a Libra sun, Taurus rising and Capricorn moon so you can do what you want with that 😂

I'm an INTP/INFP (I've gotten both an equal number of times from sites OTHER than 16 personality, tho I personally vibe with INTP just a teeny smidge more) if you do MBTI ✌🏼 I LOVE to read, especially fanfiction lmao, and i also write! I really love listening to music + watching shows/movies too! My favourite shows are all mystery/crime based LOL and I am working towards becoming a criminal psychologist/forensic pathologist/forensic scientist in future! (heavily inspired by Criminal Minds, Sherlock, Detective Conan and the like so 😂) I have a really vivid and good imagination please i can spend DAYS just daydreaming and imagining scenarios that I never finish writing about & generally this is how all my work is never finished loll

I'm the eldest sibling at home, and my parents haven't always been around so I've been rather used to stepping up and taking care of myself (+ my sibling, like helping them with homework and all). Some people say I'm a natural born leader? idk bc I often step up to be the leader in group work & I'll often be the one to initiate things & all. I'm a rather big procrastinator though LOLL so you'll often catch me rushing my assignments & final projects & rushing my revision for exams + finals like, 2 days before the actual exam 💀 which often leads to me becoming more stressed out & breaking down more often than i actually should so 🥲 I'm trying to quit this bad habit though

I love cuddles and hugs please I will KILL for cuddles and hugs from my back by a tall character pls it just feels so safe and comforting to be spooned too 🥺🥺 sometimes when I'm too absorbed in work or something (which happens too often for it to be healthy) I might just forget to eat/sleep entirely AND also my sleep routine isn't the best. like i will literally fall asleep at 9pm, wake up in the middle of the night on my own at like, 1am, then usually I'll be rushing homework at this time, then maybe sleep again for a short while from 4ish? till when i have to get up for school/work at 5:30/6am 💀 there's been days where i literally looked so sick from the lack of sleep where my tutor once stopped the class to ask me if I was okay and if i was going to faint LMAO 😔 i feel like I'm a night owl??? but then also i have no problem getting up super early in the morning so?? but i really feel most at home and really enjoy the 3am nights 😌

i am also the class clown lol but it's bc i just make sarcastic comments and all and my friends think they're funny???? but also i enjoy making people laugh bc sometimes i find it interesting to try and see what kind of things make my friends laugh so it's lowkey an experiment? or like something i want to achieve? at this point. I'm fluent in English and Chinese/Mandarin and I'm learning Italian so I roughly know some basics, and I really enjoyed History, which I took last year but dropped this year. (I'm taking English Literature with Biology + Chemistry this year and they're all great, except I'm literally dying from the workload aaahhh 💀)

I'm kinda clumsy and Not Good™ at most sports, maybe passably okay for badminton but I'm really not that athletic and really not very keen on exercising either 😔 I'm quite creative and good with public speaking/creative writing/impromptu performance/speech though I'd say! I'm also in my school's drama club 😎 though I'm more of a backstage lights & sounds kind of person. I'm right handed (with a really neat handwriting, as I've been told many, many, many times) and I wear thin frame spectacles which I sometimes will fall asleep in & I'm so clumsy/careless that I'm actually really afraid I'd break them (it's happened before 😭)

I'm a really good planner? like i can do up a great and detailed schedule/plan for revision and all but i will NOT stick to what i plan 😭😭 i love to snack!!!! on chips + gummies especially, and my diet is quite unhealthy lmao i literally don't eat vegetables At All™ & i don't really eat meat that much too?? lmaoo please i can go for days without having a single proper meal & just survive on snacking on potato chips + soft drinks 💀 i am a very picky eater though so really me not finding food i like/am able to stomach is also really kind of my fault 🤡

while i really vibe with and love the dark academia aesthetic, i also do video/MOBA games, like i play games like Mobile Legends & all. I'm someone who knows most, if not all the lastest trends (like tiktok, memes etc) but i won't actively participate in them? i just kind of like to know things, like Knowledge is Power you know (I'm a Slytherin, in case you're wondering, though I've gotten Ravenclaw so often it's a close tie sometimes)

okay i feel like that's enough details about me? feels like I've told you nothing that's useful oh well LOL... I'd really love a ship for Criminal Minds and Marvel? if that's possible please? in case you missed it, i prefer men! (I'm a questioning bi, with a strong preference for men) for the hc prompt "what you do on your first date" or maybe "how you met + first impressions"?

thank you so much for being so kind and willing to do this ship requests thing!! I'm sure you're spending TONS of time and effort on this and aahhh i feel bad for typing so long paragraphs now (as you may have noticed i have a tendency to ramble on if not stopped because i am just really Socially Awkward ™ sometimes 💀 and have really bad (social) anxiety too) and i really think you're super amazing for doing this??? I'm so sorry if this took up too much of your time aaahhhhh thank you so so so much 🥺😭😭 really the biggest of congratulations to you for your 5.5k??? you really do deserve every single follower & i am SO insanely happy for you 🤩❤️

- 🌙🏒 anon

Don’t worry, you definitely provided enough information lmao. 

And thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it. 

I hope you like the ships I made for you

They are under the cut: 

Criminal Minds: 

I ship you with Hotch. 

You get the age-gap here lol. He would be a bit hesitant due to the age gap at first, but he would get over it because he can not resist. He does not seem like the type of cuddles, and especially does not take part in PDA. But when you are alone he would love holding you and spooning, especially after a long day of work. Aaron would be attracted to your uniqueness as well as your intelligence and aesthetic, finding it to be very “you”. 

How you met + his first impressions: 

You met when you were transferred to the BAU as the new Forensic Pathologist.

Hotch thought you were very interesting when you first met and was definitely intrigued by you. 

He thought you fit in fairly well and would get along with the others (which you do). 

He appreciates a sarcastic sense of humor, so he would dig that as well.

Hotch could tell you had a form of anxiety and wold be patient around you when you first met so that you could open up to him at your own pace.

What you do on your first date:

He takes you to a hockey game. 

He is not the sportiest person but he has had an interest in hockey for a while, sometimes watching it on tv. 

When he learned that you liked it, he decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to invite you on a date as well as to see his first game. 

After the game, you walked around town for a bit, getting some late night food and talking or a long time. 

This allowed you to open up to him quite a bit and you grew more comfortable around him as well, which he is very happy about. 

Best Friend: 

Your best friend is JJ. She thinks you are really cool and unique and nice. She has the type of personality that is easy t get along with and open up too, so you bonded with her quicker than the others. I also feel like she is into hockey as well, so she appreciates your love for it as well. 

-

Marvel: 

I ship you with Sam. 

I think Sam is a good fit for you. He is into sports, and digs your aesthetic. He is easy to get along with and very funny. He thinks your line of work is very interesting and loves to listen to you talk about it. Sam also really enjoys crime shows ans thrillers so he is always excited to meet someone who enjoys them as well. 

How you met + his first impressions:

You met through Nat, who you had met through SHIELD years before. 

You happened to be at the compound with Nat when Sam was there and she introduced you. 

He immediately thought you were pretty and very interesting.

Sam could tell you were shy, but that did not stop him from flirting.

Though he also made some jokes and was easy going as to not scare you off. 

He made sure to ask Nat about you once you left and managed to convince her to give him your contact info. 

What you did on your first date: 

He took you to the movies first, to watch the most recent crime thriller that came out. 

After the movie you went to a nearby park and walked around, talking about the movie and other crime/horror related stuff. 

You got food at a food truck and sat by the fountain together. 

He was appalled when you told him that you didn’t eat that often (if came a part of your relationship later on that he would try to cook you meals that you’d like just so you WOULD EAT). 

You ended up spending hours together, and it felt like no time at all.

So you were definitely up for another date with him, which he of course asked you about.  

Best-Friend: 

Natasha. She was the first one you met, and slowly introduced you to the others. She thought you were really cool when you first met and was surprised at how well you go along. That is sometimes hard for her to do, so once you became friends she never took that for granted. She and Sam would gang up on you when you weren’t eating btw. 

xxaaron

[infinite-smile01]

I haven't been to active here lately so here's a little update (/vent) on my life

Things are hard. (possible trigger warning? Not sure). I haven't been functioning well due to my mental illness for a long while now, but somehow, it seems like things were getting better, in very small steps, almost none visible but I knew I was doing work and getting stronger. It was hard but I was in the right direction. Then mom got sick. The illness itself is going to pass but, the thing is, it left nerve damage. So she's always in pain, and there's not much anyone can do about it, and no one knows how long it might last. It hurts, seeing mom hurt. And in a more selfish way, it puts a lot on me, I don't normally even function enough to take care of myself And now I try to help, I do the dishes, the laundry, clean the house, take care of my little brother. But it's not going to take her pain away and also, I'm not really capable of it. I do it but the price is very high. Not only are there more chores in the house and taking care of my little brother. But all those other tasks- ones that I can't do, I would rely on mom for help, not necessarily actual practical help but I needed home to be a safe place. And yes practical help too, talking to ppl for me, hugging me, making sure I eat. She can't do any of that And it sounds so selfish but I'm just breaking down because everything is too much. From the mentally ill none functioning girl, I became the person who's supposed to function. I mean, dad functions, he's just never home. He works a lot. Can't blame him or complain, not much choice there. My sister is in the military. Mom is sick and is constantly in pain. And then there's me- I've been unwell for too long to keep "holding that card", yeah she has panic attacks all the time but what's new, yeah every action that seems simple to most people is hard for her but what's new. Yeah she's sad and hurting, but she always is. Yeah she cries for hours at night, yeah she's hurt herself again but-. Wait no, but we don't want to know that, so we don't. They don't know that. It's my fault of course, I don't tell them that last part but, tbh what would it matter. It would just make things harder . My sister was home from the military, and I broke down crying at night, She heard, I tried to be quiet but she heard. And she came and yelled at me. She said - I'm worried about mom too but crying won't help and the last thing she needs on her mind is you. I felt so guilty but couldn't stop, it just got worse and louder. She said - I'm tried of you're selfishness you're so self centered. It hurt because I couldn't control it, I cried till 3am, and I wanted not to, but I did. It hurt because it echoed a lot with things that happened I've been dealing with. My handling of what had happened with the teacher , and what she's done to me. We're reaching a peek of understanding and accepting. Very difficult process but, important. Were sharply cut by mom's illness and my need to function but it's still there. Still hard. And I've been very avoident, I only go to classes twice a week, only to art classes, I haven't been going there much too. My social groups with friends, I cancel them all whenever I can. Mom still works, she's doing better during the day, but, she can't really work The doctor said it's a very difficult desease and he'll give her sickness vacation from work. She laughed and said, yeah from whom exactly, who cares. There's work to be done and me to do it, I can't take a vacation. So she works. I don't get how she does it Any of it I don't get how she somehow semi functions despite the terrible paisn And I don't get how even with out it, she ever managed to do all of those things that she used to do I didn't know how much this house depended on her and now everything's crumbling I've taken some commissions so that helps Financially too but tbh, mostly mentally. A feeling that this is a thing that I can do. This is a thing I have control over, this is a thing I'm skilled at, this is not something anyone can take. The financially part is actually more mental as well, as my greatest guilt is that they work so much also because of the expensive therapy treatments I've been needing to do my even semi semi tiny bit of function, or like, to stay alive and out of hospitalization. I don't have the energy or willingness to hear my friends mental struggles, because sometimes I can take the hit and handle the trigger but not now, my energy is too much elsewhere so I guess I'm also kind of a bitch maybe for setting boundaries. So by the looks of it, I'm better than ever- I get out of bed, I clean the house, do the dishes, do the laundry, play with my little brother, function enough to do commissions, don't have any panic attacks at home, all these chores are body related so I no longer flinch at every body movement in fear of her still owning my body, because I don't have the privilege to avoid. I can contain my feelings enough to do all these stuff and ppl won't know I'm struggling, this seems like progress. But inside this really sucks. I'm more suicidal than I have been recently, tho less likely to act on it cuz so many things depend on me. I'm more anxious and avoident I'm more in pain, things are more of a struggle, I just hurt. The worst thing is, I'm not even the one who has any right to hurt Mom does And mom, she of all people, feels guilty. I don't want her to. I want her to know it's okay and she's sick and it's not he fault But I can't also be the emotional support. If there's one thing ppl shouldn't count on me is emotional stability. That night I cried aloud till 3am, mom heard. She said sorry, but I wanted to be able to tell her I hurt as my mom, not as the reason. I wanted for it to be okay that I hurt without.meaning that her hurting isn't valid. I just wanted a hug I don't want her to "walk on eggs" near me I can see that she tries not to express that she's in pain and it just makes me feel more guilty This is not about me I know that But she knew I broke down, and after the breakdown my immune system must have given up so I was sick for a few days. Which ironically was the best thing that could happen to me because I wasn't expected to function or deal with anything. But I'm "okay" now. Physically. Art is still great though Art holds me My therapist was amazing She validated me, the foucs that session wasn't to make significant progress, she just gave me a place to hurt freely. And validated it. And when the session ended she mentioned the time of our next session, like she always does, so reassuring, she also presents it as a question, I don't think she's aware of it, but to me, answering yes is promising that I'm gonna survive until then. And nothing too bad is gonna happen. And on her side, she's promising that she'll be here, she won't abandon me. But, she said another thing She said we'll meet at- time and day of the appointment- and she said, message me if you need me before that, you're holding a lot. She's always very empathic and reassuring and caring. And she does allow contact if something is urgent, but mentioning it in that situation with that tone was so strengthening. I try not to think of her as a maternal character, I know therapeutic relationship shouldn't be like that, but, this was so needed. It's as if she told me, your mom isn't available, but I am, and you're not alone, and it's okay that you're struggling, it really is a lot. I'm always on the verge of crying I go to school tomorrow I have that specific class I'm trying to avoid, have been for a long time, feeling really guilty for it but too anxious to pull it off. Mom seemed better this evening but I knew she just didn't want to show me that she hurt. I caught the hurting facial expressions though. TL;DR Mom is sick and seems like she's gonna be dealing with chronic pain, and function less. Which puts lots of pressure on me, the little girl with mentally illness that can barely function as it is.