so i went to target with my mom today, and she said that this was her first time coming to target since all the ruckus. i stupidly assumed something happened in the area or like more store construction. but nah she meant the homophobic stuff she said that apparently target partnered with a gay satanist that's trying to force children into being gay??? by making shirts for three year olds that say "i'm queer" on them? (didn't see any pride merch for small children when i looked, btw).
anyways. it just made me realize that. my homophobic mom always brings kids into her stuff. she's not outwardly homophobic, but she's like "kids don't need to be exposed to sex at three years old" and i'm like??? that's literally not what queerness or pride is??? like genuinely i think some of the big homophobic propaganda out there is making it seem like we're trying to force kids to be gay. and that really freaking ticks me off. because any time i have discussions about sexuality with my mom (she does Not know i'm bi & dating a girl-gender neutral), she brings up stuff she's seen on instagram (my God she needs to get off she is being FED propaganda) where conservatives come out here saying that people are forcing homosexuality upon children. and yeah i'm sure some people are, but you never hear stories about parents beating their kids for being straight. or beating their kids for being cis. or kicking them out of the house or family. and it's just so sickening that this is the crap she's being fed. so now it's "gay people are a cult trying to force children into being gay" and that's. UGH. that's not it.
anyways it was kind of just disheartening to come to the realization that the common thread behind her arguments are always about how kids are being impacted by gay people (derogatory). she always backs up with stuff like "well i don't think man and woman relationships should be in children's media either" yet here we are. you can't just ignore the fact that relationships are everywhere. does the kid in a show have parents? well that's a relationship! that's not indoctrinating kids! oh but it is the second it's a gay relationship Got it. it just makes no sense. GOSH.
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Art Summary 2023
shoutout to the one month were i drew fanart and then everything else was just dnd content again lmao (also shoutout to me being late to posting this haaaaa)
2023 wasn't the best year for me personally. between money problems and job searching, health issues, mental health issues, unintentional discomfort at my new job, and the overall issues of the world it just hasn't been great and I felt it heavily in my creativity. I never really had any creative highs this year outside of artfight (and even then i felt like i didn't do well) which only fed into some of the issues I was having.
But looking back I am really happy with most of what I made! Sure I didn't draw much but hey I think I popped off when I did!
So here is to 2024! Already off to a good start in the art department and even if I slow down at least I've had fun so far!
(i was gonna put me gushing about things in tags but its a lot so i'm doing a read more this post is already so damn long lmao i'm sorry)
okay i'm here to gush about two pieces at a time and their contents cause then make me happy to look at so lets get started on that with march and september 'cause hey! look at the relationship development of my little goblin guy!
march was when kk (tic's best friend and now boyfriend) first appeared to the rest of the party outside of just tic talking about him. literally the entire party could see that kk was in love with tic and was just like "oh buddy sorry about that" 'cause tic was a dumbass and romance was just never something he thought about until meeting the party. then we flash forward to september where the two confessed to each other after what really felt like the end of tic's story arc. at least it felt that way to me 'cause he reached his goal of killing groll and becoming the king of goblins but i know he still has shit to do I'M LOOKING AT YOU TRAVELLER AND RIP! but yeah that was the whole reason he left and it was done. he did it! but it almost cost him kk and the two ended up having a really important talk about it. kk chewed tic out and spilled his guts and i still think about it a lot holy shit it was so good omfg but it was in that moment that it clicked for tic. that if he had actually lost kk he had no idea what he would do, that he felt like his whole life would fall apart without him. and just man it was good wholesome content. congrats to the goblins for being the first canon relationship! (even tho they were not the first confession that one goes to rhami!)
now that that block of the text is out of the way we get to more depressing ones, those being january and october with my guy, dr. cecil wilfree.
its just.... man. what do i even say about him. january was probably the last moment before his life went into a full downward spiral, eventually leading into his demise. that piece isn't even anything major but rather something like a reminder going "hey, remember when wilfree had two normal eyes? good times!" and just man (-insert that image of a horse standing on the beach-) compare that to where he's at in october and knowing what happened in those 10 months? january he still had trust and hope, he believed that he was going to get back home and help river out with his plague, maybe even get aster home if she'd let them, maybe find a way to cure himself and help casey. but by the end there was no hope and he found out that he had been used, was nothing more than a tool for someone who he trusted, despite knowing that he really shouldn't have. river was dead and it was his fault (at least in his mind it was), he had failed to protect aster and traumatized both her and willow, and he could do nothing to save an entire population from being wiped off the face of the map. and he caved under the guilt. he gave up. its sad to see him alive and pissy in january and then look at december and see a shell of the same man, no more thoughts in that head as his mind got disconnected from his body and self.
and then for extra sads we've got december which was his birth month, so i drew something from a time before the campaign. back when he was alive and well, no soul curse and unknowing of the horrors yet to come, and receiving a gift from someone whose life he could soon destroy due to his own hubris.
anyway! pay no mind to may! i didn't draw a damn thing that whole month!
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Hello! I'm sorry if this is out of the blue, but how'd you get so good at crochet? Your doily looks amazing! I can knit very simple stuff and I've been meaning to pick up crochet, but knit/crochet language for projects can be confusing lol. Also how's your day been?
ahhh i've been crocheting for like 4... and a half? years or so now ... so i think a big part of my skill is just lots of practice! back when i was starting out (learning the stitches) i would make soooo many little "test" swatches to make sure my tension is even, that all the stitches look uniform etc. ^_^ but even still whenever i do a flat project i always make the foundation chain too tight... sob
some written patterns get really confusing with all the abbreviations and whatnot :( if you're lucky sometimes there's charted patterns which might be less confusing. plus it's kindof like a visual guide to see what and how each row/ round will look instead of just. guessing
i've been meaning to get into knitting but having two needles to deal with instead of just one hook is like @_@ too much at once!! afghan/ tunisian crochet is similar to knitting i've heard but idk enough about knitting to say for sure lol
my day's been alright! i packed up some of my stuff for moving back in2 my dorm... classes start back up for me on monday + move-back-in is tomorrow. yaay 🎉
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Tony Trapezoid Dama first digital design concept + reference !! They've been in the works for a while, it feels good to finally put that onto a digital drawing... Sorry about all the empty space on the canvas, RIP
This may be their ref for a while, but their design may still be a subject to change!! But for now, this is their design. (They still need to be drawn from their side and back view as it has some details you can't see from this angle.) (They also still need a suit name, but that doesn't worry me currently as they aren't even a C.O.G.S. INC. employee.)
Anyways, as you can gather from the image, they're the child of Belle! If someone has a grandchild, that means they have kids of their own, and Tony here is the OC for that! They're based on touch-tone telephones and radios... And also Touch Tone Telephone and other Neil Cicierega things. One thing you should know about me is that I love Lemon Demon references in my OCs,, (Has an OC universe based mainly on Lemon Demon)
They once were like every ordinary Suit, just with an interest for the unknown and telling stories - and letting others have their own stories be heard, giving others a voice. Their rather charming personality made them a great radio host! However, after the Toon invasion, they began hearing various conspiracies about them. Already having an interest in the supernatural, they began tying the Toons onto these various supernatural dangers and giving into their growing paranoia. Believing everything they've heard, (Which was a characteristic they've always had - believing almost any story told on their show), they only grew more isolated and their show devolved more into conspiracies of many kinds which turned off many listeners.
Seeing how much harm the Toons were causing to fellow Suits did not help either, in fact, it only strengthened their downfall. They grew more anxious over-all, and seemed more invested in their show and theories than going out. Despite all this, they still care about their family deeply and seem to do everything out of genuine concern and care. Though, they have seemed to stray away for the most part... Oh what would they do for the good ol' days...
Seeing that their mother and at least one of their children have joined C.O.G.S. INC. after, well... The whole Atticus incident - It shook them a little bit. Being so close to those Toons is DANGEROUS! However, as time went on... They took note of how well the two were doing. Even Collin seemed slightly more enthusiastic. Perhaps it's not as bad of an environment as they thought? Regardless, they keep an close eye in case of any tragedy they oh so dread.
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WHAT DO YOU MEAAANNN "MID" THAT COMIC GOES SO HARD AND NOT FOR ANYTHING... THAT WAS MY FIRST THOUGHT VERBATIM... THIS GOES HARD. Incredibly effective composition and symbolism and use of values and shadow on the first page ESPECIALLY (I would love to hear what the third eye symbolizes as mentioned in your tags :) ) but. But. But like. Masato being Arakawa's comfort and not recognizing it and certainly not remembering it when he's older... despite how much it means to Arakawa in the moment... owwww owwie
I was gonna ramble about how much it hits home to depict Yoko as non-human because the nightmares that have stuck with the most about my mom were like that But Enough Of That We Get It... at any rate, as always, take care and I hope you get some good news soon!
thank you so much ♪(´▽`) !! it generally felt like somethin i dont really post (but horror/blood is something i really love and love to draw), so its why i was especially excited to share it and see what people thought: im glad people like it from what i see (❁´◡`❁) ! and im glad the lack of color wasn't anything detrimental- it might have worked better in this instance. maybe.
i dont ever 'title' things per say since i feel weird doin it BUT i guess captions serve as the title sometimes. so the caption 'matrophobia' is really ironic with that whole aspect in relation to masato being arakawa's Everything: on the one hand, it can just be a general fear of your mother, but on the other hand it could also be the fear of becoming like your mother. if i ever intended to go through with a jo variant, 'patrophobia' would for sure be the title with that ambiguity in mind, but (and i suppose in both instances) with this its more ironic here since masato is the one who ends up the most like his parents' abusers- which ultimately just makes things more bittersweet in that moment dont it (´▽` ;;;) on top of masato being arakawa's comfort, it's not just masato himself being the only reason: tying back into the alt. meaning of matrophobia, it's also a relief for arakawa in that he didn't turn out like his mother- which, again, makes everything so bittersweet in the end. its like spiders in my brain when it comes to that whole aspect in regards to the arakawa family's history and dynamics...... it makes me insane to be blunt ☠️
ah but yeah ! i decided to make her an actual perceivable monster so people who. DON'T. have issues with either of their parents could get a better feeling of what it is like to have a troublesome parent/s (id rather see wolves in my dreams than my mom on that note- even if they were going to bite my face off ( ´◡` ;;; ) ). i ran out of tags before i could make any more notes i had while drawing (;´x`) but i do have more and i'll be glad to explain the missing eye bit ! under the cut since it'll just be me rambling bout symbolism ig and its gonna get long (´▽`;;; )
when it came to the third/center eye being missing specifically, i did it in relation to how the third eye can relate to enlightenment or higher knowledge. definitely just as a result of projection, but its cause all the time when i was growing up my mom would not only assert and act as if Her Way Was The Right Way and that she knew everything, but that i should only go to her if i needed help and no one else could help me- hence it being missing being a reflection of how that notion isn't true (or always true i should say). as en extension, it's also a dig at how enlightened persons are supposed to help others reach enlightenment- yk, guide them. yet, again, in this case, they're only doing harm.
that's all for the third eye bit, but also just some other things i didnt have room to ramble bout last post: i had her lips be torn away to constantly show her fangs since. well. i dont have to explain it i guess: its just meant to highlight the never ending feeling of danger when around her (and the promise of danger). her nose being gone is purposeful too: in animals, the smell of your family's significant and it helps you find out Which One Is Yours right. in her nose being gone- again, more projection and personal problems on my part- it's a way to emphasize the separation between mother and child: 'you're no longer my kid anymore, i can't even recognize your scent'. of course, that's only to the mother: she is the only one no longer able to say they're family because she can't smell that shared scent anymore. in reality, they could very much smell the same, it's just the mother's unwilling to accept that anymore.
i know i mentioned the flowers in my initial post, but her wearing a flower shirt really was convenient since it allowed me to add those thorns and vines. when you have a troublesome parent like that, the feeling of not just being trapped is there, but it's painful- it's not something you can deal with quietly. even if you're not interacting with the parent directly, the thought of their presence or the unfortunate thoughts that come about as a result of having been around them so long are a constant thorn in the side. if i may make a pun ( ´uゝ` )
alright NOW i think i've covered everything i wanted to. without all the symbolism aside, i hope she at least looks grotesque for people to enjoy without the added thought- and i hope i didn't overdue it. in any case im glad you enjoyed it !! i hope you'll enjoy the next comic i get out (❁´◡`❁) if i ever start it and i dont abandon it midway through ( ❁´◡`❁ ;;;)
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