#sorry for not posting in a while btw. stray took over my life for a little while

[attaboy-art]

Father, into your hands, I commend my spirit / Father, into your hands, why have you forsaken me?

[Image ID: A digital painting of Alfendi Layton's two personalities, Potty Prof and Placid Prof, facing forwards in front of a black background. They are both wearing white lab coats with a red and blue striped turtleneck sweater. Potty Prof is in front, smiling happily, with his left hand over his chest and his right hand outstretched in front of him. Placid Prof is peeking out from behind his shoulder on the right, covered in shadows. He is smiling calmly, with a finger in front of his lips to indicate silence. His other arm is stretched downwards to the left of Potty Prof and is holding a smoking gun. Smoke rises behind the two in the shape of a large question mark. The background is black with large, transparent, red text that says 'Before long, everyone will know of your crimes' repeatedly. /.End ID.]

[pandajaye]

Todoroki Family Ties (Parts 5-6)

Characters: Enji Todoroki, Stepmom!OC!Ivy (Ivy is black btw), Child!Shoto Todoroki, Teen!Touya Todoroki

Warnings: mention of harsh discipline,

Part 5

Enji explained everything. The whole entire full length truth. He explained what happened to Rei. What she did to Shoto’s eye. What he did to Touya. It flipped her reality completely.

“Thank you for letting me open up about all this. It’s not all easy to admit to. I’m so sorry for not telling you the truth.”

She felt kind of bad for the guy. But she really felt bad for Rei. The guilt she must have in her soul for what she did. For what he pushed her to do. Would it happen to her too? Whatever. She didn’t want to think about that anymore right now. Instead, she snuggled close to him again.

“Let’s just talk about it later. Today was kind of wild wasn’t it? I’m lucky that Shoto called you when he did. I probably would’ve been ashes if he hadn’t done something.”

Her snuggles were met with some of his own. Kisses even. He really was sweet when he wanted to be.

“It was and you’re absolutely right. Because of him, you’re still in my arms. He’s a good kid. Still learning to be tough, of course. Maybe I’ll give him a break tomorrow too and just train with Touya. You and Shoto could just spend some time together.”

“That sounds like a lot of fun. I think he’d really like that. Good idea.”

The next day, Shoto and stepmama Ivy, got to have fun and relax.

They practiced some yoga:

“Okay, Shoto. Let’s try downward dog.” *stretches* “Now you try.”

Shoto attempts the pose successfully and flawlessly.

“Did I do it? I think I did it!!”

“You did! You got it! Good job, Sho! Now, try to keep your balance and reach out with your left arm and lift your right leg. Like this.”

She moves to position and takes a deep breath, coming out of position to observe Shoto. He struggles a bit, but completes the goal and sits back down.

“Awesome! Our next pose is gonna be a little harder. Think you’re up for it?”

“Yeah! I’m ready for anything!”

“Good attitude! So, I know your dad has this idea that being a hero means being all hard and tough. But you have to learn how to be flexible and balanced. You must relax and focus so that you can attack efficiently. Always keep in mind that you have to be able to adapt to successfully strategize and defeat your opponent.”

While she was talking, she bent into the side crow post with grace and ease, balancing on nothing but her hands.

“I can do it! Watch me!”

Shoto attempted the same pose but struggled to hold himself up, falling back down.

“Dang it! I’ll try again.”

He tried again. The same result but he fell down a little quicker.

“Hey, maybe it’s time to take a brea-“

“NO!! I can do it!”

Another attempt and another fall. She could tell he was getting tired but he was really determined.

“Okay. Just remember: relax, focus, and breathe. You got this.”

He tried again. And slipped again, starting to get a little upset. Not a little. A good bit actually. Shoto stood up and stomped around.

“NOOO! NO NO NO NO!”

Ivy sat in front of him, reaching her hands out.

“Hey, Shoto. It’s okay! Calm down. Just breathe.”

He should really take her advice. He was starting to get as red as his own hair. There were tears in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks.

“I promise I’ll get it, I promise! I’ll work harder and get stronger and-“

“Shoto Todoroki. Take a seat and breathe. Hold my hands.”

Shoto listened and sat down in front of her, putting his little hands in hers. His left hand was really warm but his right hand was cool. Must be his quirk.

“Breathe with me. Deep breath in.”

They inhaled together.

“Deep breath out.”

They exhaled together.

“Now. Why do you feel so strongly about this? It’s literally just yoga. It’s supposed to be fun.”

He wiped his eyes but thinking about why he was getting so frustrated made him cry more.

“And.... I’m supposed to be number one. I’m not s-supposed to fail. Failure is bad. Bad is weakness. Weakness is punishable.”

Ivy didn’t hesitate to pull Shoto into her lap and hug him tight. Every sniffle made her heart sad.

“Sho.... It’s okay. You’re not training with your dad. We’re having a fun day off together. Me and you. You’re safe with me. Life is going to be challenging. You’re not always going to achieve your goal right away. I didn’t come out the wound bending like a pretzel, honey. It took me a long time to master a move like that. You’re only seven years old, you’re not expected to be able to hold up your own body weight. But it also doesn’t mean that you’re not strong. We’ll work on it another day if you’re still determined. Let’s rest your arms and have a snack and relax.”

Shoto wiped his face again and stood up.

“Can we cuddle and watch a movie too?”

“It’s your day off. We can do whatever we want. If that’s what you wanna do, let’s do it!”

When he got up she crouched to wipe his face and kiss his forehead, standing up and holding his hand. After an arm massage, a snack, and a movie, cuddle included, he felt a lot better. They both did. The movie finished just in time for Touya and Enji to return. That’s when Ivy discovered Shoto had fallen asleep. She let him sleep for a little longer while she made dinner.

“What did you guys do while Touya and I were out?”

She shrugged.

“Nothing much. Just some yoga. But.... we need to talk about his emotional health. He got really upset when he couldn’t do this one pose. I don’t know. Does the phrase ‘Weakness is punishable’ sound familiar to you?”

Enji looked from the floor to the wall. He really tried to pretend he didn’t hear what she just said.

“Touya did good today. Not great. Just good.”

“Enji. He’s seven. You can’t keep pushing him so hard. It’s gonna backfire on you. It probably already has with Touya.”

“He’s fine, Ivy. It’s what he needs to push himself.”

“Why does he need to push himself? The only pushing he should be dealing with is on a swing.”

“What did I tell you about trying to tell me what my kids need?!”

The two froze when Shoto shuffled. Maybe if Mr. Hellfire didn’t raise his voice he wouldn’t have woken up. He yawned before rubbing the sleep away and looking at them.

“Is dinner ready yet?”

She rolled her eyes at Enji and gave him a warm smile.

“Almost, Sho. Can you go ahead and get your brother and wash your hands please?”

“Yeah. I got it.”

Shoto slid off the couch and headed to Touya’s room, sort of stumbling from still being a little tired. Back in the kitchen, Ivy glared at Enji, her voice lowered to a whisper.

“We WILL talk about this later.”

“Fine with me, urchin.”

“Whatever, flaming bookshelf.”

Sometimes people do outta pocket shit. People like Enji. Who for some reason thought it was hot for her to call him a flaming bookshelf and smacked her ass and walked off. She gasped and grabbed a wooden spoon and threw it at the back of his head, trying not to laugh.

“BOOOYYYY IF YOU DON-”

Part 6

The incident with Touya was three days ago. Enji and Ivy continued to argue about how they should handle the situation before coming to the conclusion that they’d just talk to him. For a good 20 minutes, he sat on one side of the living room and they sat across from him. Enji and Touya had a glaring contest and Ivy just tried to smile so he wouldn’t have to feel like he was in big trouble, not that he broke eye contact with Enji to even notice her anyways.

Finally, Ivy broke the awkward silence.

“Sooooo.... Touya. Your father and I just wanted to talk to you about the other d-“

“Apologize.”

“No.”

This is where the trouble starts. Something is always going to go wrong when someone interrupts someone else. Especially if there’s two people that butt heads constantly.

“Hun, I got this. So. Touya. Is there anything that you want to say about what happened? Would you like to explain what you were feeling?”

Since she was being so nice about it, he decided to answer her. He rolled his eyes and adjusted himself before speaking.

“Listen. I’m sure you’re a nice person, but to be honest.... I think you’re weak, I think you’re sensitive, and I think you’re useless. I FEEL like you think you can replace my mom but you don’t even have a quirk! You’re literally nothing but some wench off the street looking for home, stray.”

“ALRIGHT THAT’S IT! YOU NEED TO LEARN SOME RESPECT, INGRATE!!“

“YOU AND ME OLD MAN, LET’S GO!!”

They were about to hurt each other but Ivy interfered before any damage was done.

“Enji, just go check on Shoto! I’LL talk to him. Alone.”

Enji growled before stomping off to the door to check on his youngest playing outside, while Touya sat back down with a huff. Now it was just the two of them.

“Touya.... I know this isn’t just about me or your mom not being here. I know how hard he pushes you. I know what your dad does to push you, and past your limits at that. You’re still a kid. A teenager. Life is already so hard for you. Psychologically especially. You’re growing up. Going through puberty. Liking people more than in just a friendly way. Reading magazines-“

“Oh god, make it stop, MAKE IT STOP!”

She did stop, since she was only kidding, and laughed at his reaction.

“I’m just messing with you, kid. But seriously. I know it’s hard and I see the resentment in your face. I also see the stress you’re giving yourself. I know that that pain and frustration you projected onto me the other day, was a little bit cause, y’know, I’m not Rei. And I know that in that aspect, I can’t change anything. *sigh* But I still want to do my best to protect you guys. Because I really do care about you. I am so proud of you and the strength and determination that you show. I don’t know if your father ever acknowledges it, but this is me acknowledging it. Good job, Touya. You’re my number one hero.”

At first, he tried to sit there and pretend like he hadn’t heard a single word she had said. He was almost convincing until the ends of his mouth quivered. Until he wiped his face with his forearm. Until he got up and walked over to her and couldn’t look her in the eyes. Just stood in front of her. It wasn’t for nothing. She knew what was happening. He needed to be held, so that’s what she did. She embraced him with open arms and a squeeze to reassure him that he was safe with her. That she would do anything to protect him. That he was worthy and more than just a masterpiece.... that he was someone that was loved obviously instead of just the absence of negative moments.

She could feel him shaking when he cried. He needed this, he was positive-touch starved. Jesus.

“I’m r-really s-sorry.... for what happened.... for everything I said....”

Ivy rubbed his back before pulling back to look at him and wipe his face.

“I forgive you. More importantly. Did you like the dinner I put out in front of your door that night?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. It was great-“

“SCORE ONE FOR STEPMAMA!! WOOHOO!! Sorry, I love cooking. I also love you.”

“Back at ya.”

He smiled and headed to his room. Ivy took a deep breath, feeling accomplished. At least.... before Enji ran back inside in panic and looking upset. He’d been running around, there was sweat on his face.

“SHOTO’S GONE!!”

“....W-What?”

[omoi-no-hoka]

Hello! I'm sorry if this has been asked before, but how do you become proficient at handling conversations in Japanese/handling grammar very well? I read your post on the JLPT, and it addressed issues I have been tip toe-ing around--indeed, passive actions such as listening or reading are easier than the active ones. How did you go about that? Did you write a bunch of sentences daily? Did you have a conversation partner? What would you rec. to someone who lives outside Japan? Thank you!

This is an excellent question, and one that I get asked a lot irl by Japanese people in particular. Let’s talk about gaining fluency and the ways we can go about it!

How to Gain Fluency in Japanese (and Other Languages)

Speaking Fluency versus Accuracy

Language proficiency is divided into two separate categories:

Fluency: Although there are no widely agreed-upon definitions or measures of language fluency, someone is typically said to be fluent if their use of the language appears fluid, or natural, coherent, and easy as opposed to slow, halting use. In other words, fluency is often described as the ability to produce language on demand and be understood.

Accuracy: Correctness of language use, especially grammatical correctness and word choice.

By the above definitions, a “fluent” speaker may make grammatical mistakes, but they can speak without having to stop and think too much about conjugations, word choice, etc.

An “accurate” speaker can speak with nearly zero grammatical/word choice mistakes. However, the speed of their utterances isn’t generally taken into account, so it could take an “accurate” person twice as long to articulate the same idea as a “fluent” person. 

Ideally, you need to strike a good balance between these two qualities when speaking. I have a boss, God bless him, who is 100% fluency and 0% accuracy and…man is it hard to understand what he’s saying sometimes, but he can generally get his point across just barely. I have another coworker who is 100% accuracy and takes about 3 minutes to form a sentence because he wants it to be perfect. 

How to Increase Speaking/Writing Accuracy

First, let’s talk about the easiest thing to improve, which is accuracy. It’s also (in my opinion) the least fun thing to improve, because it means grammar books and vocabulary memorization. 

You can only use a language accurately if you know what is correct and what is incorrect, and you can only learn that by studying grammar and vocabulary (or if you’re a native speaker and picked it up innately, you lucky bastard).

So here’s some things you can do to increase your accuracy:

For example, if you’re having a hard time using the passive, you need to review that part of your textbook and find some exercises to drill it into your head. 

Say the correct thing aloud. Lots. Sometimes I just walk around my apartment and narrate everything I see/do like a crazy person, but that’s good practice. 

Write example sentences using the grammar you’re struggling with and say them aloud too. 

There’s a bunch of cool apps that connect you with native speakers that can help correct you too! I used to use HelloTalk, I think. 

If you’re a creative soul, when I was studying for the JLPT, I took 1 grammar point and 5 vocabulary words from my JLPT study books and used them to write a 2-page short story about the adventures of ネギ, a stray black cat that smelled like green onions because she napped in an onion field. Then I had a Japanese friend check it over for me and mark mistakes. I hand-wrote them to improve my abysmal handwriting at the same time. It was really fun! I sometimes think about doing it again just for funsies.

When someone corrects you, don’t feel like your entire life is over and you’re a failure and you’ll never get it right haha. I’ve seen people fall into that hopeless mindset, and that’s just nonsense. It’s a good opportunity for learning and nothing more! Say the correct thing you’ve just been taught out loud, then write it down if you can. And, if possible, find a chance to use it in conversation asap.

How to Increase Speaking/Writing Fluency

Now this is the hard one. Especially for those learners who do not have native speakers nearby. 

I’m going to be dead honest with you. I started formally studying Japanese at uni, and I had a Japanese roommate/best friend since year one. I had a 4.0 GPA in my Japanese classes (and only my Japanese classes lol) because I was and still am a MEGA NERD about it. 

...But it wasn’t until I studied abroad in Japan my 4th year of uni that I gained fluency. 

There are a lot of things that can hold us back from fluency. An interesting thing I’ve noted is that Foreign Language is perhaps the only subject in which a student’s personality can directly affect their progress. To gain fluency, you have to go forth and speak, but if you are naturally a shy person, that is going to hinder you. If you are the kind of person who takes mistakes/failures poorly, you will be less likely to take risks and try to say harder sentences. In contrast, you can get full marks in math regardless of the above personality traits. 

I’m not saying that you have to be an outgoing explosion of a human being in order to gain fluency. But what I am saying is that you have to be willing to seek out conversations, and you have to be willing to take chances. Get out of your comfort zone. Use that new word you picked up the other day. Try to explain something that is difficult for you. 

My problem was that, while I lived with a native speaker who would have happily taught me anything I asked, her English proficiency was much higher than my Japanese proficiency. And when I struggled to say something in Japanese, I’d fall back onto English. And when she told me something I didn’t understand in Japanese, she’d repeat it in English instead of Japanese, because that was easier for us both. The same thing happened when I was in Japanese class as well. I always had the assurance that I could fall back on English.

But when I elected to study abroad in Japan for 3 months, I knew that this was my big chance. So on the host family form in the “other requests” area, I wrote that I specifically wanted a host family that could not speak English. I was setting fire to my crutches, and I was scared but excited to see them burn. 

By the end of my three months in Japan, I had gone from “Chotto matte kudasai” and needing a minute to form my reply, to “Okay, yeah I see that movie too and I liked the action scenes, but I didn’t care for the story little.” (I’ve underlined mistakes that I would have made in Japanese, to show you that I sacrificed some accuracy to obtain higher fluency.)

So, in short, the easiest and quickest way to increase your spoken fluency is to throw away all the crutches you can and use the language as much as possible. Every single day. Even if you’re just having an imaginary conversation with yourself! And like I said, there are a bunch of cool apps that connect you with Japanese people who want to learn English and you can do language exchanges with them. I had a lot of fun with those in the past. 

As for increasing writing fluency...well. That’s a tough question with Japanese, because I can type Japanese at like 100 wpm, but my Japanese handwriting fluency is at a 10/100. I can read and type at the level of a native Japanese high school student, but I can only write the kanji that 7 year old can write. That’s no exaggeration.

The big reason for that dichotomy is that my work is paper-free. 100% of my work is done on screen, so about the only time I have to write out something is when I’m filling out a form, which includes my name (katakana), address, and maybe occupation. 

If you want to increase your Japanese handwriting speed, just keep on writing. Write those little short stories about ネギ like I did, or find some writing prompts (I just started a side-blog with writing prompts yesterday btw) or keep a little diary. Make opportunities to write. 

How to Have Nice Handwriting in Japanese

Okay, full disclaimer: I am the absolute LAST person qualified to talk about this, because I have awful handwriting in Japanese. 

Unless you have prior experience with a different language that uses kanji, or you lack the keen eye of an artist, you will likely struggle to develop neat handwriting. 

Personally, I really like using this app called Japanese Kanji Sensei. It’s on Android (not sure about iOS), and if you pay just a few bucks you can make your own kanji sets and stuff. Anyways, it will show you how to write the characters prettily. It gives you a good frame of reference for what nice, pencil/pen-written characters (versus calligraphy characters). It has hiragana and katakana on it too!

I get a stylus and write out the characters on this app for the muscle memory, so my hands remember the sensation of writing a certain character. (The muscle memory is different if you only use your fingertip.) This muscle memory and repetition is how Japanese people learn how to internalize kanji as well. I really enjoy and recommend this app. I’m sure that there are others out there like it too.

Summary

TL;DR: Review your textbooks, take risks, use every resource available or make your own, and just have fun with it! 💗

[tsukaramachi]

Reunited (Yandere N Harmonia x Reader)

(The image above is from a pokemon valentines event btw not my art. Sorry if my writing sucks :/ The story is also on quotev too and if anyone wants me to post the Yandere akira one too then send me an ask in the ask box please)

“I’m finally coming home…” looking down at the mass of land underneath you as a couple of clouds blocked your vision. You have arrived back home in your own region, Unova. Petting the side of Reshiram’s white feathers, you ponder on where you should land. You thought about paying a visit to your mother in Nuvema town, but it was still a bit far away.

Looking down, you notice how some things have changed since you last visited. From what you’ve heard, your child friends had built a new life for themselves. Cheren became the new first gym leader to challenge the new youth and Bianca is an assistant for professor Juniper. You haven’t been able to hear from them much since they’ve gotten busy, but you still consider them your best friends even after your journey finished.

While reminiscing about your adventures, your hold on Reshiram’s feathers tightens. Prompting the legendary to look at you.

“Ah sorry Reshiram…I was just thinking about my friends…”

You watch as the white dragon breathes out a small breath of fire as if it’s exhaling at your lie. The legendary could clearly tell that you’re upset, but it turns back to looking forward once again. You sigh as you loosen your grip on Reshiram’s feathers and gently pet the area. Sometimes you end up tugging too tightly on its feathers, causing it to grow agitated but it never scolds you for it. For it knows the reason why you’ve been so somber lately.

After your last battle with N. The green haired boy disappeared with Zekrom. You searched all around Unova to find him afterwards and even heard about how some people spotted a giant black dragon flying in the sky. But you could never find him. You even took a journey to a far away regions in hope of finding N, but after two years. You couldn’t find him.

So here you are, finally coming back to your home region.

In the distance, the silhouette of a tower comes into view. Squinting your eyes to try and make out the building. A small smile makes it’s way upon your lips.

Dragonspiral tower, the place where you caught Reshiram and also a place you used to visit quite often. Reshiram flies over to the top of the tower, flapping its wings as it slowly lands on top of the old stone floor. You hop off from Reshiram’s back and throw your arms into the air. Holding your posture, you stretch your body to get rid of the stiffness you felt from sitting for so long. Dropping your hands down, you put your hands on top of your hips.

Taking a look around, the dreary atmosphere makes you feel a bit unsettled. Crumbled white columns and stray debris scattered about isn’t the most comforting, but you’re fond of the tower for something else.

Here, you ventured through the tower along with your pokemon against team plasma. When you reached the top, you witnessed N awaken Zekrom. Then you caught Reshiram at the top of the very same tower. Being here, you could recall one of the memories you had of N. You feel a nudge from the white legendary as it pushes at your back.

You smile and take a hold of its head and pet it gently. It sits down and rest its head on the floor. Sitting yourself down next to it. You lay back against it and doze off.

The sound of shuffling awakens you. Your eyes flutter open, but you’re soon surprised by the image of N’s face close to yours. You freeze in place as you watch him bring up a pale hand to your face. Brushing his fingers against your cheek, you look in awe at him.

Is it really him? The person you’ve been searching for all these years is now finally back? No words seem to make it out of your mouth. What should you even say when you’re so caught off guard?

N smiles at you as he leans in closer to look at you. His green eyes staring intently at yours. His hand lingers on your cheek, but it’s soon pinched. You snap out of your trance and your brows scrunch together.

“Wha-”

A light snicker comes from him. He steps back and flips up into the air. Your eyes widen as you watch the illusion before you fade. His light green fluff of hair grows as it becomes spikier and the green fading away into red and black.

“A zoroark!?” you stumble back into Reshiram, causing the legendary to wake up.

The wild pokemon lands onto its clawed feet, it turns to look at you once again. Its eyes narrow as a grin makes its way across it’s face.

It quickly rushes off and jumps off from the tower, leaving you dumbfounded with the now awake legendary. Taking a second to process what just happened, you snap out of it.

“Reshiram let’s go!” the legendary roars. It leans down as you climb onto its back. It flaps its wings and jumps off the tower, diving down with you clinging closely to its body. You can see the Zoroark look back up at you and it smiles. It lands safely against the floor, but changes into a different pokemon and runs off into the thick forest.

It’s still bright out so you tell Reshiram to follow it. The lengendary’s form shadows over the pokemon as it glides above the trees. Through the leaves, you can still track it. You can’t afford to take your eyes off of it.

The both of you follow the pokemon until it stops in an open clearing. You don’t recognize the area, but it makes you pause. Wild pokemon play happily in the open field surrounded by various wild flowers ranging in color. You can see a group of deerling run around happily and a couple Sawsbuck watching them nearby.

A gust of wind passes through and cottonee and whimsicott drift past you. A sweet scent makes its way to you and you see a pink mist emit from a lilligant dancing around with a couple of other pokemon.

In the distance, you can see the zoroark morph into N again. It raises its hands and waves, but to whom? It’s facing away from you and Reshiram but before you could see whoever comes out. Reshiram suddenly stops and the two of you begin to fall.

Adrenaline rushes through you as you try to keep calm, “Reshiram what happened?!” but the pokemon doesn’t budge. You lose your grip and fall off from the legenday. It’s eyes closed, you call out for it to wake up again. But it’s no use.

Reaching into your pocket. You swiftly pull out its pokeball and call it back. A red light surrounds it as it shrinks and goes back into the ball.

You stuff the ball into your back and shut your eyes. Your only pokemon you have that can fly at the moment is Reshiram and even if you did somehow have a way to stop the fall you don’t have enough time to look through your bag to pull out the right pokemon.

You close your eyes shut as you brace for impact. At least your pokemon are safe…but you aren’t sure if you’ll be able to see them again once you reach the ground.

“Sigilyph, whirlwind!”

A gust of wind circles around you as you’re falling stops. You’re lowered to the grass below. When your foot reaches the ground the wind stops and you fall to your knees. You try to catch your breath as you try to remain calm. You were going to scream, but the event had taken you by surprise making you now feel the fear course through you.

hearing someone get closer to you, you look up to see A darmanitan and the Zoroark that shifted into N from before you fell. The two look at each other and nod.

“Wha… what happened?” you say as you look up at them, you hear something else make its way towards you. But before you can see them, you hear someone murmur a command. Your eyes start to feel heavy, a yawn escapes from your mouth as you try to stay awake. Your arms feel weak causing you to fall onto the soft grass.

“Wait…do you know where…where I can find him?”

———————————-

As N watches peacefully rest. He smiles as he brushes as stray hair away from your face. Ah, it’s been so long since he last saw you. After your final battle, he left to find another way to make his ideals come to fruition. But as he traveled with Zekrom and spent time away from humans. A strange emptiness within him began to grow.

While he was surrounded by the kindness of Pokemon. His interactions with humans lessened with him leaving team plasma and his father being arrested. He was truly free from his old life and while he had ended liberated by you, he had no where to go.

He thought he could find another way to liberate Pokemon without hurting humans, but the feeling of longing made his vision become unclear. Wasn’t just being around Pokemon enough or did he just wish to return to team Plasma? But after seeing that some members had chosen to be passive about it and had gone into hiding, the feeling was still there.

For a while he tried to ignore the feeling by occupying himself by going to different regions to meet different Pokemon. But whenever he tried to act like he was happy it was no use. For the Pokemon he befriended would nudge him to go back to Unova. He wasn’t sure on why, but after recently coming back to Unova. His frisky Zoroark would leave without notice.

He trusts all Pokemon and he always let his Pokemon have the option to leave, but it was a bit strange that the dark type Pokemon had developed the habit of disguising itself as him. Oh but the wonderful surprise that his friends gave him today was so exhilarating.

First, they lead him to an open field deep within the forest that had various Pokemon that lived in the area. He was able to laugh and interact with each and every one just like how he used to as a child.

It was fun and it took his mind off of the foreign feeling, but when Zekrom started to act strangely. He could tell something was coming for how the legendary would stare off towards the same direction.

But he never thought that he would be rushed out to see you again. He couldn’t understand it but once he saw you, he asked a nearby group of Petilil to use sleep powder on the legendary. Which caused it to stop and fall towards the ground. He then had to command his Sigilyph to use whirlwind to cushion your fall to keep you safe.

While the sleep powder didn’t hit you directly, some of it had gotten onto you which made you fall asleep after reaching the ground. He didn’t mind though, it was perfect.

Now, he’s able to watch you rest peacefully by his side. No conflict and being here with you put him as ease. The feelings that pestered him so vanished like thin air when you’re with him and now he understood what those feelings are: it’s love.

He didn’t notice it before but the feeling had blossomed whenever he would see you. In Accumula Town, in front of Nacrene gym, and on the ferris wheel in Nimbasa City. With every meeting, he wanted always anticipated for you to come and he thought of you as some type of rival. But as time went on he realized that you, you’re someone special. Someone who has a strong bond with their Pokemon and is able to understand them without needing to speak to them. He couldn’t believe it before, but after his final fight with you. He missed you terribly so.

Whenever he was riding on Zekrom’s back, he would look down as if he was searching for you. Whenever someone that looked remotely similar to you passed by, he would take a second glance every time to see if it was truly you. At night he had dreamt of you and woke up in the morning to feel emptiness in his heart. He had thought that maybe he was growing paranoid but his friends knew what it really was. Pokemon truly understand more than he ever could.

Raising his hand up to his mouth, N chuckles to himself as he can’t help but find you cute like a sleeping Munna.

“I know you can’t hear me now, but I’ve been wanting to tell you this (Y/N)…” N takes out a one of his golden square bracelets from his left wrist. Slipping the object around around your own, “I love you, (Y/N)… I thought I could be happy seeing Pokemon liberated from being used as tools, but now I’m selfishly wanting more. I want you to be there by my side…I want only you with me and the thought of being away from you again pains me to think of it. You tore away the world’s black and white visage that I had when I was king of team plasma, and I can’t help but wish for you to  stay by my side so I won’t ever lose my way again…”

Leaning down towards you, he tenderly brushes the back of his hand against your soft skin. After two long years he’s reunited with you once again and this time. He doesn’t plan on leaving or letting you go.

[darlinvandijk]

Always been you

Concept: request where “Can you do an imagine where y/n and ruel are older and she decides she wants to go to college in LA ; they try the long distance relationship but it doesn’t work out bc she’s too busy with her studies meanwhile he becomes more popular and travels more often, but after 4 years she goes to one of his concerts and they reunite?”. Shoutout to my friend for giving me an idea to start this! Dm me and whatnot for a request!(really fucking long btw) Hope you enjoy :)

I sit by my phone frowning as I watch the FaceTime screen ring for a bit, before showing me that the call wasn’t answered. Looks like Ruel is busy, yet again. It’s not that I’m mad at him for not picking up, he has a job to do that takes up countless hours of his time, and I’m proud of the dedication he has when it comes to his career. I’m just upset that lately it seems like we never talk, he calls when I’m asleep or working, or I call when he’s asleep or working. It just seems like nothing is working for us, but I can’t not be with him, he’s my whole world. I finally clear my thoughts and stand up from my bed, making my way to my bathroom so I can have a relaxing shower, and hopefully come out to see a message from Ruel.

I make my way out of the bathroom in my favorite hoodie that I took from Ruel, jumping onto my bed to check my phone notifs, feeling my heart flutter at the text from “bubs <3”. I immediately click it, typing down a response as fast as I can, hoping he’s not busy or asleep yet. Luck is finally on my side when I get a response, mere seconds after I had sent mine.

Baby I’m so sorry, I would’ve answered but I was on stage

It’s okay bubs, how was the concert? I know how much you love Amsterdam :)

It was amazing! They were so into everything and I swear they knew lyrics to unreleased songs which was kinda wild.. wish u were here tho

I’m happy for you baby!! You know how your fans are, they find everything out lmao

Are you okay? You kinda ignored the last thing I said

I’m okay, sorry I just didn’t want to reply to it and get all emotional on you lol

I let out a shaky breath when I hit send, already feeling my built up emotions get ready to spill over, I just miss him so much. I see him typing for a couple of seconds, before the little bubble disappears, instantly replaced by my screen lighting up with an incoming FaceTime call. I hesitantly answer, making sure the hood on Ruels hoodie is covering my face a little, knowing it’s already getting splotchy from being so emotional. I watch as the screen lights up, with my beautiful boyfriend laying on his bed in the back of the bus, staring at me silently.

“Hey love, wanna remove that hood for me? I want to see that beautiful face of yours-” he quietly whispers out, not wanting to overwhelm me. He can read me like a book, which is how he can always tell when something’s wrong. I let out a quiet sigh, pulling the hood back, looking away from the phone so that I don’t have to see the look on his face. I hear him sigh out once he takes in my under eye bags, splotchy red face, and shiny eyes. He takes in a deep breath before asking the question he didn’t want to ask, “is this because of me?” He whispers out, his voice breaking with emotion. I stare at him with wide eyes, shocked by the question, and also unsure on how to reply to it.

“No! You didn’t do anything wrong, I’m just a little touchy today.” I instantly blurt out, not wanting him to feel bad, because I already know he’s thinking about all the missed calls we’ve had. More than we could count just this week. He watches me, giving me an unconvinced look, running a hand roughly through his hair. We’re both silent for a little bit, trying to figure out what was so different about this phone call compared to others, because this tension floating through the air has never happened before, I’m more unnerved than I’ve ever been with him.

“I know that’s not true. I know it’s getting to you, all the missed calls and late replies. It’s getting to me too. I just don’t know how to fix it baby, but trust me when I say I’m trying to.” He whimpers out, causing my eyes to water even more at his obvious distress. I send him a watery smile and place a kiss to my promise ring, watching as he sends me a small smile while placing a kiss to the necklace he wears for me. It’s a silver pendant with my first initial, he got it the same time he gave me this ring, which was over a year ago on our second anniversary together.

“I love you, even if things have been a little difficult lately. School has just been taking up so much of my time lately and it’s hard to find times to talk when you’re in a whole other country. It’s not your fault and it’s not mine, life just has a crazy way of handling things I guess” I mumble out, watching him nod his head, reaching a hand up to wipe his eyes of the unwanted tears. I wipe my eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie, only to look back at the screen, seeing him with a completely shattered expression. I freeze and practically stop breathing, scared of what he was about to say to me. A choked sob escapes him, tears making their way down his face as he holds onto the pendant dangling in front of his chest.

“You know I love you, right? You’re my whole world, my soulmate, my everything. I wouldn’t do anything if I didn’t think it’d benefit you.” He chokes out, his eyes blurry with tears as I stare at him with my own tears pouring down my face. I’m instantly filled with fear when I see the way he’s acting, because he’s never like this, which means whatever it about to happen is going to hurt me the same way it’s hurting him. I breathe in shakily, spinning the promise ring around my finger, giving him a small nod before getting the courage to talk.

“I know you do, I love you too. We’ve always been soulmates and always will be. You’re it for me, there will never be anyone else.” I cry out, feeling like I’m saying a goodbye rather than reassuring him. He nods his head frantically, showing me that he agrees with my statement completely. I watch him open his mouth to speak, before another cry rips out from his throat, one that sounds completely and utterly heartbroken. I immediately wince upon hearing it, feeling my heart spike as I realize what he was leading up to, as I realize the what he’s about to do for the both of us. I’m unable to open my mouth to talk, completely losing my mind as I sob and shake my head no, hoping it’s enough to stop him before he says it. It didn’t work.

“I love you. I love you so much that I’m doing this for you, I’m doing it for the both of us. I’m breaking up with you, I’m so sorry baby.” He sobs out, feeling like he lost the one thing that ever truly mattered to him. The one thing that he’d give his career up for. I sit there completely frozen, unable to comprehend the words that just came out of his mouth, before my body shakes with the sobs I let out. I feel my chest physically ache like someone tried to rip my heart out, instantly reaching my hands up to hold my chest in hopes of easing the pain. I knew that heartbreak sucked, I just never knew how much it’d actually hurt.

“Please.. please don’t do this. I love you Ruel. I need you.” I cry out, my voice sounding so unattached from me, that I barely even register the words coming out. He watches me as tears and sobs shake his body, taking in everything about me for what he knows will be the last time for awhile. I watch the way his red rimmed green eyes flit over me through the screen, drinking me in with all that he can. Not even realizing my eyes are doing the same through their teary filled gaze.

“I love you baby, I love you with all I’ve got. I’m doing this for you, you need to focus on school and working for everything you’ve ever dreamed of. I don’t want you to miss out on living your life over there just because I can’t be with you. I’m only getting in the way of that, which means I need to let you go.” He whispers out, our tears having finally been drained from our bodies, leaving us in a broken silence. I don’t reply for a second, only hearing the shaky breathing we’re both releasing, before I come to terms with the fact that he won’t change his mind about this.

“I love you too. Promise you won’t forget about me? No matter what happens, you can’t forget about me-“ I whisper out, watching the pained look on his face when my voice cracks. He gives me a shaky smile, his eyes filled with disbelief at my question. He opens his mouth to respond, but I beat him to it, not fully done with my requests. “and I’ll always be your best friend right? Like you’ll like all my insta posts still and you’ll always tell me happy birthday?” I whimper out, knowing that the requests might sound dumb, but he’ll understand what I mean. He gives me the same boyish grin I fell in love with, a few stray tears making their way down his puffy face.

“Baby I could never forget about you, you’re my whole world. You’ll be my best friend till the day I die, I’ll like all your posts as soon as you post them, since I have notifs for you, and I’ll tell you happy birthday at 12 like I do every time. I promise with everything inside of me.” He states, trying to make his voice as strong as possible, but still not being able to fully hide the tremors that shake his voice. I give him a smile, knowing how terrible I must look right now, but not caring as I gaze at the beautiful boy who will always hold my heart in his hands.

“One last thing... promise you’ll love me forever?” I choke out, feeling the way the call was on its way towards ending, wanting to hold on to any last bit of him for as long as I could. He lets out a exasperated scoff at my question, not even knowing where to start with it.

“I’ll love you till the day I die and even after that. Our love is eternal sweetheart, no matter what we’ll always make our way back to each other. I promise.” He states with so much conviction, leaving no room to even question him. I nod my head and watch him, feeling my heart break all over again as I realize it’s time to say goodbye. It’s time to say goodbye to the love of my life. To my best friend. We spend a few minutes staring at each other, not wanting to deal with the inevitable outcome of ending this call.

“This isn’t a goodbye, it’s just a see you later, okay? We’ll be together again, but not till the times right for us. I’m not giving up on you. I love you.” He breathily lets out, staring into my eyes with nothing but pure love in his eyes. I whimper as he finishes his sentence, feeling my heart officially tear into two, knowing this was it. I wipe my eyes hastily, not wanting to miss the last seconds I have with him, wanting to look at him one last time before we end this call.

“I won’t give up on you either, I’ll see you later. I love you.” I whisper out, watching the way he looks me over one final time. We send each other heartbroken smiles as I kiss my ring and he kisses his necklace, neither of us knowing when we’ll be together again. He gives me a small wave while blowing a tiny kiss to the screen before the call disconnects, leaving me completely shattered. 

———

Days seemed to pass by slower than ever, all filled with endless calls from the Van Dijk family, excluding the one person I wanted to call me the most. The breakup hurt their family almost as much as it hurt me, endless amounts of tears over FaceTime calls as the girls and Kate called me, not believing that we would ever break up. The moment they saw my puffy eyes and tear streaked face I could almost hear their hearts break, but slowly time seemed to heal my wounds. I wouldn’t say fully healed even if it’s been 2 years, but healed enough to where I can look at pictures of us without it ripping my heart out. This morning when I woke up, I saw that he had sent me a birthday message at 12, just like he always does and promised to continue doing so, leaving me a teary eyed mess from missing him.

Today I was meeting up with Coco and Sylvie for my birthday brunch, since the two flew down to Los Angeles to spend some time with me during my college holiday break. I stood in front of my mirror, putting on my final touches of makeup, and adjusting my clothes. Once I felt ready to leave, I walk out of my apartment and head down the street, to the small pastry shop the girls wanted to meet at.

As I walk in, I feel my stomach fill with excitement, ready to see the two girls who I love more than myself. Before I can even spot them, I hear Coco shriek, immediately running to pull me into a bone crushing hug. As soon as she lets me go so that I can breathe, I end up pulled into another tight hug, watching her laugh as Sylvie practically strangled me. Sylvie pulls away and drags me to the table they have, having already ordered for all of us since they know my order by heart after being so close all these years. They cheer out their happy birthdays to me once we sit down, handing me the gifts they bought me before they both look at me from across the table, with matching grins but what appears to be a slight hesitant look in their eyes.

“Spill the tea, I can tell by the looks on your faces you have something to say” I laugh out, watching as Coco roll her eyes. I give them a reassuring smile, hoping to ease their nerves on whatever they have to say, but feeling a pit form in my stomach since I know it probably has to do with the person I still haven’t moved on from. Sylvie takes in a deep breathe, reaching out to grab my hand that’s on the table, giving it a light squeeze. I’m immediately on edge at her actions, my mind instantly jumping to the worst conclusions, the first one being that he got a new girlfriend. Let’s just say I was completely wrong with my assumptions.

“Have you moved on?” Sylvie blurts out, completely throwing me off, because they would be the first two to know if I ever did. I stare at them with wide eyes, not sure on how to reply to the question, because there’s obviously a reason they’d have brought that up. I open and close my mouth a few times as I try to come up with something to say. The looks on their faces become more uneased at my lack of a response, causing me to blurt our the last thing I’d want to say.

“How can I move on when I check your brothers insta at least once every hour?-” I spill out, watching their faces instantly switch to those of amusement. I let out a groan at my embarrassing confession, covering my face as it heats up, praying that the ground will just swallow me whole. I uncover my face so that I can try and salvage what’s left of my dignity, “what I meant was that I haven’t moved on to anyone else, like the first thing I did when I woke up was check to see if he sent me a message. Why would you think I did?” I question them. I watch as both sets of eyes travel to the neckline of shirt, before they slowly trail back to my eyes, both with perplexed expressions.

“It’s just that your necklace is off, like you haven’t taken that necklace off ever, but all of a sudden it’s not on you?” Coco slowly states, immediately causing my hand to fly up to my neck, feeling my shirt rather than the promise ring, meaning that my necklace was indeed missing from my body. I let out a groan as I realize I had left it in my bathroom, having had taken it off before my shower earlier, and not putting it back on when I left. The necklace only ever leaves my body when I shower, meaning that it’s permanent residence is right against my chest, the same place the promise ring has layer ever since our breakup.

“Fuck, I never put it back on after my shower. It’s on the counter of the bathroom, I must’ve forgot it since I was so excited about seeing you guys” I mumble out, feeling like I was missing part of me without the ring, especially on a day like today. The girls give me sympathetic looks, knowing how much it means to me, especially since it’s the only thing I have that really connects me to Ruel. The girls swiftly change the conversation and talk about some of the gossip going around, before deciding we should just head back to my place.

Once we get back to my place we all sit down on my couch, their eyes wandering around and checking out some of the new things I’ve added since the last time they visited, softly smiling as they see I still have pictures of Ruel and I around. Coco grabs a frame and sends me a sad smile, her eyes looking over the photo fondly, what just so happened to be my favorite picture of us. The picture is one of my fondest memories of when Ruel and I were still together, we were all hanging out together on the beach, and Sylvie had snapped a pic when we weren’t paying attention. Our skin was glowing in the orange light from the sunset while he looked down at me with a lovestruck grin and I was laughing at something Kate had said, as I lay sprawled across his lap. I don’t think I’d ever been happier than I was at that moment.

“I miss you guys being together, but I know you’ll find your ways back to each other. You have to” Coco whispers out, with teary eyes as she thinks about the pain Ruel and I had gone through with the breakup, and the pain she knows we’re still feeling without each other. Sylvie nods her head while humming in agreement with her sister, silently praying that things work out soon, knowing her brother hasn’t been the same since everything happened between us. I give them a small shrug, my own eyes tearing up, knowing what they want won’t happen anytime soon, and I was right.

———

“You have got to be fucking with me?” I groan out, having just listened to the plans Coco just dragged me into. I hear her let out a sigh of frustration, annoyed that her plan wasn’t working out the way she had hoped, and knowing she was silently cursing me in her head. I hear Sylvie mumbling something to her in the background, before hearing Kate and Michelle make noises of agreement. I instantly tense up once she starts talking again, knowing that there was no way out of these plans she had set up.

“You promised you’d see us all tonight since it’s been a few months, you can’t break a promise. Please I promise it’ll be fun, please?” She states out, her tone becoming slightly pleading towards the end. I let out a sigh, running a hand down my face as I think about what would happen if I went. Like she has to understand why I don’t want to go, this isn’t going to just affect only me. I hear silence on the other line, knowing they’re crowded around the phone, waiting for me to answer, I take a deep breath before speaking up.

“Guys this isn’t only going to affect me. We were supposed to all see each other, you never said it would be at a concert. Let alone at fucking Ruels concert. I don’t think I can” I mutter out, feeling my heart constrict at the thought of him. It might’ve been 4 years since the breakup, but that doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t still hurt when I think of him. We’ve talked since the breakup, but it’s only ever been for birthdays, some holidays, and random messages here and there to say we hope the other is doing well. All in all, we’ve basically not legitimately interacted since the breakup, because I don’t think either of us could ever be just friends with each other. Trying to be friends would only hurt us.

“Please, I wouldn’t have you go if I knew it would hurt him. I love you both too much to do something that could harm either of you, please just trust me on this. He’d want you there.” She softly states, knowing how sensitive this topic was becoming the more I thought of him. I let out a quiet groan, before quietly agreeing to go with them. I hear them let out cheers, all of them ecstatic at the fact that they were able to get me to agree to go. Completely oblivious to the plan they had made, the plan that I set into action by agreeing to go.

“Yes! See you soon babes, love you” Coco shrieks, barely letting me reply before hanging up. I sigh as I stare at my blank screen, fiddling with my ring as it lays against my chest, before heading to my room to get ready for the events taking place in a little bit. I start doing my hair, thinking about all the possibilities tonight holds, like the thought of being face to face with him seems unreal, I can only hope he doesn’t feel uncomfortable with me being there.

I hum along to my playlist as I move on to my makeup, before freezing as a familiar tune starts playing. I listen as the beginning of painkiller fills my room, the memories from when this song was first written coming to the front of my mind. He had been nervously watching me as I lay across his bed, before hesitantly speaking up to tell me he wrote me a song, and of course I eagerly told him to sing it. I remember when he first started, I was completely enamored by him, feeling my eyes well up as I listened to the lyrics. That day was the first time we had said I love you to each other, when we both truly realized how much we meant to each other. That song means more to me than anything else in the world, it’s not just the song that’s important to me, but the day that means everything to me.

I clear my throat, dabbing at my eyes to get rid of any unwanted moisture, as I finally come back to my senses when the song finishes. I let out a sigh, continuing on with my makeup, before finally finishing up. I check my phone and see that Coco will be getting me in 20 minutes to head out, instantly causing me to rush around to find an outfit. While he probably feels nothing for me after so much time, I still want to at least look decent when we cross paths again. I get my clothes on and look at myself in the mirror, before deciding it’s good enough. I head out of my apartment and walk out, instantly spotting Coco standing outside a car waiting for me. I run over to her, instantly embracing her in a tight hug, having missed her more than anything the past couple months it’s been since I saw her last.

“Ready for tonight?” She questions with a look in her eyes that I can’t decipher, but immediately puts me on edge. I narrow my eyes as I look at her, trying to gauge her emotions, because Coco isn’t Coco without some sort of insane plan. She stares at me with doe eyes, appearing completely innocent, while she waits for me to reply to her.

“I don’t know, it’s been 4 years Co. Like that’s a long time and I don’t want to burden him you know” I whisper out, glancing out the window while feeling insecure at the thought of him possibly not wanting to even see me. Coco rolls her eyes at the back of my head, knowing that Ruel is still just as in love with me as he was when we were still together. She puts her hand on my knee and lets me think for the remainder of the car ride, while she tries to hide the smirk on her face, knowing the plan she had was going to work out perfectly on the unsuspecting pair.

We pull into the venue, getting escorted through the back entrance by security guards so that the fans couldn’t see either of us. I’m thankful the fans couldn’t see us because of the fact that they’d recognize me immediately, and start rumors on social media, even though there have been plenty of them since we broke up. Especially since he still likes all my insta posts and comments on them every now and then, fueling the fans to believe that the breakup wasn’t real. The real fans know it was though, they could sense the instant change and shift in us, no matter how hard we tried to act happy and fine on our socials for them. Little did I know, Coco was happy the fans couldn’t see me since it would fuck up her plan, because Ruel would basically be instantly notified of my presence.

We walk through hallways backstage before Coco leads me into a small room, where I’m instantly pulled into hug by Kate. She rocks us side to side, holding me as tight as she can, while the girls stand around with teary eyes watching the interaction. We finally pull away from the hug, Kate putting her hand on my face as she watches me with a look of pure motherly adoration, instantly making my eyes water with emotion.

“My other baby is finally back” Kate whispers out, the grin never leaving her face, feeling complete that all her girls and her son were finally in one place again. Kate has always called me one of her baby’s or her daughter, because she said I was destined to be her daughter in-law so why not just start early. I let out a small laugh at the way Coco and Sylvie have their phones out to record, before walking over to give Sylvie a hug. We pull away and she compliments my outfit, before pushing me into the arms of Michelle. I let out a laugh as Michelle whispers that if I ever disappear for 4 years again, she’d kill Ruel and I for doing that to everyone again. We pull away from the hug and stand around conversing with each other about anything and everything, before the door opens and someone walks in.

“Oh you little fucking shit-” He laughs out as I turn my head, just to be pulled into a bone crushing hug by Nate. I laugh as he squeezes me, before letting me go to give me a stern look, causing me to smirk at him knowing he’s about to lecture me. I watch as he takes a deep breathe, getting mentally prepared for whatever he’s about to say, “you don’t understand the hell I had to deal with the past four years, I’ve almost strangled him a good couple of times. Does he know you’re here?” He groans out at first, before ending with an intrigued look. I shake my head at his question, causing him to look at the girls in surprise, completely unaware of the mission they were on. I see Michelle give him a look, causing him to smile and give her a slight nod, leaving me perpelexed on what everyone seemed to be planning.

“Well he’s doing soundcheck right now, so I got to go check on him, because I don’t trust him. Like I don’t care if he’s 21, he’s still not trustworthy enough to be alone without me” Nate groans with an eye roll, causing us all to laugh at the mischief Ruel causes, my heart clenching since it was one of the things I fell in love with about him. Nate sends me one last smile before heading out, leaving us in the room together yet again. I watch as Coco sends Kate a look, before turning to me with a blinding grin on her face. I instantly tense up knowing she has to be up to something, there’s no other reason she’d have a smile on her face like that.

“So Kate and Michelle have to go see Ruel to just to check in on him, Sylvie wants to go find a vending machine for something to drink, and I need to find a bathroom to fix my makeup in” she explains, watching the way my eyes wander over her flawless face, seeing no reason for her to fix the makeup. Before I can question her, I’m already being pulled out of the room, and down a series of hallways. She stops outside of a light brown door, throwing it open and pushing me inside with her. I try to look around to see what room we’re in, but Coco immediately starts talking, completely distracting me from even trying to look around.

“Can you help me fix my lipstick, I feel like it’s getting on my teeth, and check the lining of it please” she practically begs, causing me to nod my head with a laugh. She hands me a q-tip from the table next to her and I instantly get to work, completely transfixed on the task at hand. I wipe around the inner lining of her lips, making sure it’s still perfect but not too far back to get on her teeth, because who wants red stained teeth. Next I move on to the outline of her lips, lightly trying to straighten certain areas, praying I won’t drag it onto her foundation. As I’m fixing her lipstick, her phone buzzes, causing her to pull away from me abruptly. I let out a surprised gasp, instantly narrowing my eyes at the look on her face, since she seemed ready to combust.

“Wait right here, I have to go grab my lip liner, I forgot to put some on, and don’t want my lipstick to just disappear over the duration of tonight. Don’t move, I’ll be right back” she all but shrieks out, jogging out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her. I stand there watching the door, perplexed on what everyone seemed to be planning for me, before deciding to take a look around the room. I walk over to the desk, looking over some of the trinkets laying there, before the door is thrown open and someone’s shouting.

“Why are you shoving me in here? Coco don’t make me bite you lil bitch, Nate stop groping me for fucks sake” I hear an overly familiar Australian voice yell, watching the scuffling take place, before he finally gets shoved in and the door slams shut. I stand there frozen, comeplety in shock by the boy in front of me, my heart feeling like it might burst out of my chest. I stay silent as he bangs on the door, before spinning around with an eye roll when he realizes the doors blocked, only to freeze upon seeing me. We stay silent, both of us just staring at each other, taking in all the changes from growing up, and taking in all the familiar things we fell in love with about each other.

“It’s been a while, yeah?” He mumbles out, playing with his fingers anxiously. I lightly scuff my shoe on the ground, too nervous to make eye contact with him right now, especially when I know my feelings for him never went away. I nod my head and continue to stare at my shoes, before looking up when he moves to stand in front of me. We make direct eye contact when I look up, his green eyes filled with an emotion I couldn’t quite decipher, but felt oddly familiar.

“It’s been four really fucking long years, which means we got some catching up to do after this concert, but uh only if you want to. I would love it if you did” he questions, giving me a anxious smile, it slowly dropping when I hesitate to answer. As soon as I see his smile drop and his eyes dim, I immediately reach out and place my hand on his arm, watching the way his eyes widen at the contact.

“Yeah, I would really like that.” I softly state, watching him give me a boyish grin, instantly causing my face to heat up as I look away. Upon noticing my head turn away, he smirks at my blush and takes the opportunity to look at my outfit, his eyes instantly locking on the neckline of my top. I turn my head back to him to ask him a question, when I notice his eyes locked on my top, before I can ask what he’s looking at, he reaches a hand out. I freeze as his hand grabs on to my chain, sliding his fingers along it until the promise ring he gave me lands in his fingers. He twirls it around, completely entranced by it, and completely oblivious to how close we’d gotten to each other. I open my mouth to come up with an excuse as to why I’m wearing it, only to be left shocked when he gives me a teary grin, reaching underneath his own shirt, pulling out the pendant. I let out a quiet sob when I see the little silver pendant, only to be pulled straight into the arms of the boy I’ve loved my whole life. He holds me and rocks us back and forth, one hand pressed to the back of my head, the other wrapped around my shoulders.

“I kept all my promises. Told you I wasn’t going to give up on you.” He whispers in my ear as I hold him as tight as I can, never wanting to let him go. He pulls away from me and cups my cheek with his hand, before leaning down and pressing a light kiss to my forehead. He rests his forehead against mine for a few seconds, just taking in the moment while it lasts, before we’re both startled by the door flinging open. He immediately pushes me behind him, but the two had already seen all they needed to see.

“I KNEW IT WOULD WORK” Coco screeches, causing Nate to flinch as he stands with her, having came to collect Ruel since it was time to go on stage. Ruel rolls his eyes, but still has a lovesick smile on his face, before instinctively grabbing my hand and pulling me with him out the door. We walk hand in hand to where the stage is, hearing the thousands of fans out there screaming and chanting for him to come out, before coming to a stop next to the stairs for the stage. He looks at our hands before blushing and dropping them, leaving me there with a confused and slightly hurt expression. Upon seeing my face he instantly panics and starts rushing to explain himself.

“It’s not that I don’t want to hold your hand, I just don’t want to rush straight into things after a four year break. Trust me, it’s taking everything inside of me to not just jump back into how we used to be” he groans out, I laugh and grab his hand, really noticing how his hand still fits in mine perfectly. I get a little lost in thought, but come back when Ruel gives my hand a squeeze, just like what he would do back in the day.

“I get it, I want to rebuild everything too... I really missed you, like I never moved on from you.” I whisper out, before Ruel pulls me in, holding me tight against him. He places a light kiss on top of my head, before holding me for a little longer. Nate comes over and tells him he has about a minute until he needs to go up, causing him to groan, not wanting to leave me when he just got me back. I laugh and pull myself out of his arms, tilting my head up to look straight into his eyes.

“I never moved on from you either, I couldn’t. I told you we’d find the way when the time was right” he smirks out, causing me to roll my eyes, trust him to make a sweet situation cocky. He laughs at my attitude, before giving me one last squeeze, and holding his hand out. I look at it before sending him a giant smile, already knowing what he wanted to do. Neither of us noticed, but Michelle and everyone came to stand and watch, as Ruel and I did our pre-concert ritual. It was a handshake we had made as children, but kept adding on to the older we got. We finish it off, with the usual pinky promise, both of us kissing the opposite end, before he quickly kisses my cheek and bounds up the stairs. I stand there in shock, holding my blushing cheek, before turning my head to the girls who all hold knowing smirks.

“Looks like he added another thing to the ritual” Coco laughs out, causing me to roll my eyes, turning to watch Ruel from the side stage. He welcomes the crowd and starts to sing, the fans instantly singing every word, and watching him like he put the stars in the sky. After the first song, he turns to the band and asks them to pause really fast, making all of us confused, since this was not a planned break.

“I’m sorry if I’m a little jumpy today, or if I’m just a complete mess. I just got to reunite with the girl I’ve been in love with since I was a kid after four years apart, so yeah I am a mess-” he starts off, looking over to me with a large smile. I instantly blush and grin back at him, overwhelmed that he still feels the same way about me after all this time. The crowd starts screaming my name and chanting out the ship name they created for us way before we even got together, causing everyone to start laughing. Ruel glances over at me again as he starts talking, “I told you it wasn’t a goodbye, it was just a see you later. Even the fans knew I was never going to get over you, I honestly didn’t even want anyone else. It’s always been you.” He mumbles out. The fans instantly screaming as loud as they can, while I stand there in awe, tears streaming down my face. He jogs over and gives me a hug, before promising to spend all his time on catching up with me after the concert, leaving me there to sing my heart out to the songs that were written by the boy I love.

That night, I rekindled a love that was never lost, but rather put on hold. I know we said we’d take it a little slow, but that night I slept in the arms of the love of my life, feeling like I was whole again for the first time in years. I felt the overwhelming love I have for him completely fill me to the brim, because he’s not only my best friend, but he’s my soulmate. It’s always been him.

[onewaigu]

Heard You From Afar

Genre : short story

Theme : fluff

Pairing : Lee Know(Stray Kids) X Reader

Description : you worked at a catcafe. he's a regular customer. your paths had never crossed. that was until he saw you meowing at a back alley.

“Huru-ah, I'm sure you have exquisite taste in food but here everyone eats the same..”

Silence.

“Meow”

“Oh c'mon!”, you failed once again trying to convince the white and ginger monster to eat. Why did Juho have to feed his cat fancy food?

��Salmon is expensive, Huru”, you reasoned.

Great, you were reasoning with a cat. What else was new?

You swore that the cat was the devil's spawn cause it nonchalantly decided that your legs were scratch poles. “Fine fine, I'll buy you some sushi”.

It was hard for you to leave the cafe when it was feeding time and there were like 10 cats waiting to pounce at you but your colleague, Inseong, was there. He'd survive alone.

The day was just beginning and the streets of Hongdae were slowly coming back to life. You could see people of different backgrounds rushing to work. It was a normal sight on a Monday morning.

For the past few days, you had been catsitting for your friend, Juho, who had decided to go on holiday in the middle of April. Actually it was more of him sneaking into your house, using the spare keys you gave him for your apartment and leaving Huru in your living room. The genuine shock you had when you woke up to the wet feeling of Huru's tongue licking your face. Juho was lucky you were a great friend or he would've had to leave the country to escape your wrath.

But you were living alone and had a job to go to, so leaving Huru at home wasn't an option. The cat would've wreaked havoc. Bringing it to the catcafe you worked at seemed like a reasonable thing to do. Huru could bond with the other cats and you could work whilst looking after it.

What you didn't know was that the cat was a picky eater, so here you were trudging along the streets of Hongdae on a Monday morning, trying to find a sushi place that had something with salmon in it. At least the weather was nice. It was peaceful.

At least the weather was nice, you said.

It was peaceful, you said.

You took a quick glance at the gray rain clouds above you before running to find a shelter, head almost fully wet.

Now you were stuck at a crowded busstop while rain was pouring down hard from above. You checked your phone. 09:58. Oh shoot, it was almost opening time at the catcafe. Your fingers fumbled across the screen before calling someone.

“Inseong-oppa, I'm kinda stuck in the rain so could you please just feed Huru the steamed fish from your leftover breakfast? Thanks and-”, you cut yourself off when you heard a faint meow.

“I'll be back as soon as the rain stops”, you quickly ended the call and tried to find the source of the sound.

“Where are you, little kitty?”, you called out softly. Your legs slowly dragging you around.

“There you are!”, you found yourself in an alley just a few metres away from the busstop. The cat couldn't have been more than 2 months old. When you approached it, it cowered behind an unused styrofoam box.

“It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you”, you coaxed it with a few meows. Poor thing was drenched. You gently scooped it up and cupped it in your hands. You didn't have an umbrella with you so you had to hurry back to the busstop. However, as you turned towards the alley's exit, your side hit a hard wall making you abruptly stop. Ow.

“Oh shoot, I'm so sorry”, the wall apologised, a hint of humour laced underneath those words.

Wait, walls couldn't talk.

You looked up to see a pair of eyes staring back at you. Damn, they're beautiful.

In front of you was a boy who looked around your age holding up an umbrella with cat prints all over.

“Need an umbrella?”, he asked looking down at you and the cat who were both drenched from the rain.

“Yeah sure, thanks”, you smiled, feeling eager to get out of the rain.

Honestly, you were lowkey wondering how this boy could randomly appear at this specific alley. You were grateful at his sudden appearance but puzzled as well.

“You must be wondering how I found you, right?”, he asked. It was as though he had read your mind.

Please dont let him be a creep.

“Trust me I'm not a creepy pervert or anything”, he let out the most light-hearted laugh you had ever heard before.

He pointed at the cat then at you. Huh?

“I was walking by when I heard faint meows, I guessed that came from the cat, right?”

You nodded.

“But then I heard even louder meows, so I was curious”, he scratched his head, rather cutely.

Your face on the other hand, was the colour of a baboon's butt. This total stranger had heard you meow in public. At times like this, you really wanted to dig your own grave and crawl into it. You'd been spending way too much time with cats, you became one.

“Heh, you could say I have a special connection with cats”, you awkwardly shrugged your shoulders.

His eyes lit up at what you said. “Me too! I have three cats at home, Soonie, Doongie and Dori”, he gestured enthusiastically as he went on to describe his cats.

When the both of you finally reached the busstop, you turned to him, “Actually if you want, there's this small catcafe down the street where I work at. Whenever you're free, you could drop by and play with some of the cats”.

Inseong-oppa's dad should really give you a raise for promoting the catcafe.

“Yeah, I know”. Wait what?

“You were probably too busy to notice”. Now it was his turn to turn baboon-butt pink. “I'm a regular there”.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I was actually on my way there”, he shyly grinned.

“Meow”, the cat glanced up at the both of you with its innocent eyes.

Right, you should get the little furball back to the catcafe. “..shall we?”, the boy asked tilting his head towards the catcafe.

You smiled widely, before turning your gaze up to a pair of beautiful dark brown eyes.

“We shall”

With that, the three of you, cat included, headed down the street together towards the catcafe under his cat-themed umbrella.

“You know, I've been meaning to ask what your name was..I'm Lee Minho”

You swore you saw a twinkle in his eyes.

“Well, Lee Minho-ssi..I'm Y/N”

[a/n]

i'm still getting the hang of posting fics on tumblr, a part of this fic was actually deleted when i posted it so i had to rewrite. oh well > < btw i wanna thank my friend, nothing cause dude, your harin fic really inspired me to write fics on here~

(gif credits to linos-teeth)

[girlobsessed21]

The 100 6x11 discussion - burning desires of change

Hey guys, as usual, here’s my breakdown of the episode. Props to Mr. Bob Morley on his directing debut - insert applause emoji here. All in all, it was great, I enjoyed it, albeit a little weird. But it’s to be expected of a conversion episode taking us into the finale.

Like I explained in my 2nd predictions post, “Ashes to Ashes’ has Biblical connotation and it’s also a British crime drama about time traveling back to the early 80′s as well as David Bowie’s 1980 hit single about addiction.

Apart from Ash being Echo’s real name, I struggled to find the link to the title until it hit me with a wrench from behind. It’s about cycles, repetition, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results (which Einstein did not say btw). Only now, it’s breaking that rotation. Demons are overcome (apart from Madi), and it’s time to do better.

Octavia’s no longer Bellamy’s responsibility, Clarke refuses to kill innocents, the children of Gabriel learn the truth, Miller disobeyed to transcend and Echo (or Ash), well, I’ll talk about her later. To Monty! Will this also be the end of the ‘will they, won’t they’ dance for Bellamy and Clarke? See my thoughts on this.

That said, let’s fall into the recap.

A child possessed

Okay, Sheidheda was a lot creepier in this episode than the previous ones. if Madi wasn’t completely overthrown before, it seems like she is now and her driving force is pure vengeance. The bond between Madi and Clarke is harder to break than diamonds, which we saw in season 5 and here again.

For six years, all they had were each other. Since the little Natblida was only six when Clarke found her, she won’t even remember her real family all that well. To Madi, Clarke was her savior, her family, her protector, her mother and basically everything else. Having such an influence taken away from you is artery-slicing.

The demon in her head knows this, plays on it and manipulates in a way an abuser lures children in with sweets. Given her age and lack of experience, she follows blindly. I have a feeling this might continue onto season 7 but I hope Raven finds a way to eliminate him. That face freaks me out. For now, he’s gonna cause a lot more damage than we anticipate and will probably be a spoil of war for the peaceful plan.

John Murphy - court jester or hero?

Yeah, he’s been a fence-sitter the entire season, but you have to admit, Murphy provides some much needed comical relief. Granted, the writers have turned up the humor via Bellamy, Clarke, and Diyoza, yet Murphy’s sarcasm should never be taken for granted. “Houdini Miller.” He might not make it to the end of the season.

If someone threatens the life of the person you love, will you protect everyone else or only that person? Ask Bellamy, he did the exact same thing. Risked the lives of everyone else to save his girl, of course Murphy will do the same. He wants to marry Emori, he’ll face hell to ensure her safety.

Still, he warns Echo in good old Cockroach fashion. Don’t let them find out I’m on your side, there’s but one side and it’s mine - and Emori’s. As long as the primes think that, he’ll have a chance of being spared. Murphy is such a great character, sure, he has deviated from being good, but that’s what makes him interesting.

The more layers and substance a character has, the more convincing and relatable they are. All of us have flaws, Murphy’s biggest one is his selfishness, does this make him a bad person? Absolutely not. He struggles and sometimes stumbles due to it but he still cares. Only the size of his heart’s in question, not the existence and it gets them out of some serious syrupy situations.

The makes of the Blakes

So, Bellamy doesn’t care about the delusional cult followers, he merely wants to save his people, to hell with the rest. In a sense, he betrayed them to rescue his love? soulmate? person? and has to make up for it. Now, Bellamy, did Monty not teach you anything?

Being so determined, he calls his sister the queen of cannibals. Killing her own people to ensure their survival. She did what she had to do, why can’t he? I didn’t know Bellamy even knew about this, why didn’t they show his reaction to finding out? Wouldn’t it have led to him cutting her some slack? He was in the exact same situation many times before. 

Probably not. His whole life has always revolved around her, everything he did was to protect his sister to the point of borderline, unhealthy codependency. Octavia was his purpose and yet she threw him in a fighting pit to die after he once again tried to save her - from herself.

Gabriel then tells Bellamy his sister is special, she returned from the greatest mystery of Sanctum. If I remember correctly, Lincoln called her special too when she was unaffected by the biological warfare. There’s more to it though, in my opinion, I still think Diyoza will return, they were both called by the anomaly, why would only O survive? That anomaly is going to be some crazy wow-factor, I’m certain.

I believe a cult won’t be too happy to find out that its leader is the exact thing they’re rebelling against. And the children of Gabriel seemed pretty pissed, especially Xavier’s sister. That is until Bellamy gives them a plan to fulfill their cause. Unfortunately for him, it means teaming up with O to find the powerful red sun toxin. For once the cultists weren’t useless!

Poor Gabriel, all he wants is peace. I thought Jordan would be a Monty reincarnator but apparently, that’s Gabriel. Or he’s more of Lincoln II? Either way, I hope he doesn’t die. Speaking of Jordan, I miss him in his recovery bed. 

Anyway, “what do you say when sorry isn’t good enough?” Despite Bellamy’s countless efforts to keep O occupied, she won’t stop breaking down the walls around his heart. Those mushrooms were strong, Bell, we saw it. Octavia’s speech was so deep, honest and touching that Bellamy’s stray tears hardly seem enough.

The way it was resolved though, is more than satisfactory. After everything that’s happened, it wouldn’t be enough development for him to simply accept what she’s done and move on. But, he’s willing to give her a chance to prove herself while no longer being the core of his world. “You’re my sister, but you’re not my responsibility, not anymore” is probably the best metamorphosis I’ve witnessed on this show. It clips the umbilical cord for both of them to emerge as individuals.

Echoes of a cold-hearted spy

So, I assume Echo protected Ryker thinking she could bank on his morality to spare her. And of course, she keeps scraping at the flesh wound. But Ryker believes saving his family keeps the peace, killing Echo saves everyone else. One life instead of thousands - it’s for the greater good, right? Wrong. The acting here was great, I was totally convinced of Ryker’s bouncing morals.

Off-topic, I completely forgot Miller used to be a thief and I’m glad we got to see his pick-pocketing skills in action. He deserves some credit and screentime, since being a part of this show for six seasons. Oh, and the transcending moment between him and Gaia was super sweet.

For a second I thought Echo would become Simone and then I remembered that she also took ALIE’s chip and they wouldn’t rehash the neural mesh storyline. Meaning my fears were quickly soothed.

Onto the important part, what was that back story supposed to mean? All I got out of it, is that Echo’s cycle isn’t broken. That leopard hasn’t changed its spots. Don’t get me wrong, it broke my heart that she had to kill her friend and resume her identity in order to survive. But, it felt like a turning point in Echo’s character that plunged her into heartlessness. Will she become that person again?

I know Echo might not be a fan favourite, but she’s really grown on me this season. She’s smart, loyal and fierce, I like her. Not Bellamy and Echo together though, I can’t see a semblance of a connection between them. And their relationship is only hurting their characters.

Why would they build her up as a great character just to show that she cares about no-one, not even her friends? I mean I get why she killed Ryker, leaving him alive was too much of a risk - he would tell Russel about her, Miller and Gaia being at large. Though that murderous glint in her eyes tells me that was purely for revenge and completely against their newfound lifestyle. Maybe I’m wrong.

I’m curious to know what being a nightblood will mean for her now and how her character might change after being held at gunpoint.

Meanwhile, Monty’s mantra rings through Clarke 

Oy, Bellamy risked everything and everyone to save Clarke and if she can’t play the part of Josephine convincingly, that was all for nothing. And our boy’s not happy about it - at all. Only, Clarke refuses a Mount Weather do-over.

I just need to mention Bellamy’s face when Murphy come’s through the tent - priceless. Then Jade finally gets a chance to knock someone out too. Yay for her!

The moment Clarke’s safe, she goes straight to Bellamy for reassurance and goodbye. Backtracking to the start of the episode, the way he flung to her side when she woke, touched and comforted her was toothachingly soft and way too intimate to be non-romantic. 

Bellamy gets this shy, ‘aw it’s nothing’ expression when Clarke thanks him for saving her life. Because to him, it really is nothing, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her. And while he’s making heart-eyes at his friend, his girlfriend is being prepped for a blood transplant and murder. I cannot see how there won’t be any followthrough on this. 

If there’s not, it’s altogether bad writing, showcasing and wasted potential. Right now, there’s too much going on for a decent conversation that’s years overdue and I’m hopeful they’ll get it. In the synopsis of the finale, there’s a hint at romance and I truly believe it’s theirs.

Well done Eliza! For playing Clarke and Josephine, Clarke as Josephine and vice versa. She’s an amazing actress and has come a long way from, “Stop, the air could be toxic!.” 

The woman must have been devastated when she walked in on Madi strapped to a chair, being drained for her blood. Yet, in the scheme of greater good, she acts oblivious. She plays the part of a nonchalant sociopath so well, while sparing Madi via a sedative and shifting the focus to her mind drive. 

Those newlyweds sure know how to act and direct!! Like always, I’d love to hear your thoughts, did I read the Echo backstory correctly? Till next week, bye!

[thinkingimmensely]

Okay. III

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 4

A/N: It’s been a year or two already (I think I’m not really sure) since I last posted and man, this has been sitting in my drafts for forever. But I’m glad I was able to finish this chapter and I hope you guys like it as much as I do. 

This is a long one and I was about to cut it in half but decided not to. I hope that’s all right! 

BTW if you want to be on my taglist for this story or part of the permanent, don’t hesitate to send me a dm, an ask, or just comment here~ :)

MATERLIST

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything from the Potterverse!

___________________

It was easy. Finding a house was easy, getting a job was easy. With your title as an ex-Auror, Madam Rosmerta didn't think twice about hiring you, especially since there were Dementors stationed around the village. She thought that with an ex-Auror around, customers would most likely feel safer. The pay was small but you didn't care about that, you had enough to get you by; besides, Sirius was chipping in as well.

Classes started a month ago at Hogwarts and you knew this was the year Harry could come to Hogsmeade. You tried to calm your excitement down and remind yourself that he may not be as thrilled to meet a godmother he never heard about until now.  

You almost forgot that the faculty loved visiting Hogsmeade as much as the students; so, when the head of houses came trotting in, you almost dropped the tray you were carrying, along with the numerous empty glasses on it. McGonagall's usually stern eyes widened in surprise as well and she rushed over to you like a mother who finally found her long-lost daughter.  

"Y/N Y/L/N!" She exclaimed so uncharacteristically even Professor Sprout raised a brow in mild surprise. "How are you? You've been gone from the earth for who knows how long. Since when have you been back?"

You placed the tray on the counter and whisked it away with your wand so the glasses washed themselves on the sink then turned back to your old mentor. "I've been getting by somehow." You cheekily replied. "I've just been back actually. How's Hogwarts?"

"Oh, absolutely dreadful, dear. The Dementors are sucking the life out of the school." Professor Sprout answered. "If it only weren't for Sirius Black-" She was about to continue but Professor McGonagall shot her a sharp look which made her backtrack on her words immediately. "Ah-yes- I almost forgot. He was your friend. I'm sorry dear."  

You let out a sad smile, "Yes... well, people change, don't they?"  

Professor McGonagall sympathetically placed a hand on your shoulder. "Y/N, you should visit the castle sometimes. Harry- I'm sure Harry Potter would love to meet his godmother. Professor Lupin may want to see you again as well."

You frowned at the mention of his name and you turned away from McGonagall. "I'll um... I'll think about it." You replied awkwardly, "Now please excuse me, but I have to go back to work." You made sure to stay clear of your old professors' presence for the rest of their visit. It's not that you hated them, but you didn't want blasts from the past to hit you.  

The door soon opened and a huge, black dog came trotting in. "Ah, always on time that one." Madam Rosmerta chimed as she came out of the bathroom. "You can go once you finish cleaning up Y/N, can't keep the lovely canine waiting now." She beamed as she went to pat the dog fondly on the head. "You're a good boy now aren't ya Mr. Snuffles?" She cooed.

You held your laughter in as you watched Sirius wag his furry tail and he shot you a glare momentarily. You cleared your throat and went to wash the remaining mugs. You were done in a matter of minutes and bid Madam Rosmerta goodbye as you and Sirius exited the shop. The both of you walked the already empty street of the village and you could feel the cold etching on. Sirius nuzzled your hand in comfort and you flashed him a thankful smile. Auror or not, Dementors still creeped the hell out of you.

You soon arrived at the doorstep of your small house at the edge of the village. It only had one bedroom and bathroom, and the kitchen was connected to the living room but it was livable and that was all that mattered. You closed the door behind you and closed the blinds of the windows and turned the lights on. When you turned, Sirius was already sitting by the fireplace on the rug.  

"What do you want for dinner?" You asked and he just shrugged his shoulders. You sighed and went to the kitchen and searched for something to cook. "You know," you started, "I saw Professor McGonagall today." This seemed to catch his attention because he turned to you. "She said I should visit the castle sometimes, see how Harry is doing, and maybe have the courage to finally meet him."  You rambled, "Oh and guess what? Remus is a professor now."  

You had Sirius' full attention now and he was making his way towards you.  

"Dumbledore offered me a job months ago, for the position of the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. I'm glad I refused because it seems that Remus was the second choice." You took out the board and placed it on the counter. You tucked a stray strand of your hair behind your ear and whisked your wand towards the spices and levitated it towards the board. You enchanted the knife to cut them and you got some chicken off the freezer.  

Sirius began setting the table, silently listening to you. "McGonagall even told me that Remus might want to see me again. I bet he'd be absolutely thrilled." You sarcastically announced and turned to your friend who was watching you. "You're awfully quiet." You noted.

Sirius raised a brow at you and flashed you his usual playful smirk. "I love listening to you talk of course.” He smirked, “Besides, I might finally learn what happened to the both of you if I keep listening."  

You shrugged your shoulders and casted a heating spell on the chicken to quickly defrost it. "Well in summary, he left me." You simply said. Sirius looked at you as if you had just grown another head.  

"What? I'm confused. Remus was in love with you!"  

You frowned at him. "Well I guess love wasn’t enough to make him stay." You countered. "But it's not entirely his fault anyway, I was probably a handful." You busied yourself with cooking to not let your emotions get the better of you. "I mean, he's had enough on his plate from the start- and just to add me to it; he probably couldn't handle it y'know?"

Sirius shook his head fervently, "No, no, no, no, that couldn't be it, that sounds nothing like him. Y/N, Remus loved you; he- he was planning to propose to you when the war ended!" He held you by the shoulders and looked at you straight in the eyes.

You turned away from Sirius, mainly so he couldn't see the tears that was starting to form in your eyes. You promised yourself you wouldn't cry for him anymore, and so far, you've been able to keep that promise. But knowing that he was going to propose stabbed something deep inside of you. A longing that no one else could replace; regret that maybe you should've done more to keep him. You shouldn't have let him walked out that door that night ten years ago.  "People change Sirius, you of all should know that by now." Steeling your resolve, you turned your back to him to drop the conversation.

Sirius scratched the back of his head then threw his arms up in surrender then stalked off towards the living room. He must’ve had a million questions but you didn’t have the all the answers.  

Dinner was soon served and the both of you ate in silence. Your earlier conversation still played in your heads like a broken record player. Sirius was still mulling over on how Remus could have ever willingly leave you, and you on the other hand, still couldn’t get over the fact that your ex was going to propose. Had things only turned out differently you’d probably have an 11-year-old kid who was probably writing you letters about the horrors of being a first year at Hogwarts, a kid who probably looked up at your 13-year-old godson as a big brother.  

Those thoughts haunted you well into Halloween. Sirius and you apparated to Godric’s Hollow first thing in the morning to visit James’ and Lily’s grave. You brushed off some fallen leaves away and pulled out some weeds as Sirius looked on and whimpered in his Animagus form. You took out your wand and waved it in one swift circle, “Orchideous.” You whispered and a bouquet of flowers conjured itself and you arranged it on the grave.  

After casting a few charms, Sirius turned back into his human form and the both of you ate the lunch you packed. Sirius was awfully quiet and had a weird look in his eye. You reckoned it was just because of visiting your best friends.  

You pulled on your jacket as the wind was starting to pick up. “We should get going.” Sirius mumbled and got to his feet. He held his hand out to you, which you gladly took, and he pulled you up. With a final look at James’ and Lily’s grave, you held Sirius’ hand and Disapparate back to a nearby cave just out of Hogsmeade.  

“Are you sure about tonight, Sirius?” You questioned.  

He gave you a look. “If you have a better plan then I’d like to hear it.” He spat and you furrowed your brows.

“No, I just think- I mean, don’t you think it’s kind of rash to just infiltrate the castle like that?” You backtracked, “Or what if I went instead?”  

Sirius looked at you strangely. Something clouded his stormy gray eyes just as he clenched his jaw tight and his entire body tensed. You instinctively grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, never breaking eye contact. Vengeance pumped in his veins right now but you didn’t want him to do something he might regret later. “Sirius please-” You tried but he shook his head and cupped your face with both of his hands. “It’s better if you’re not dragged into this mess. I can’t let anything happen to you. Or Harry, or even Remus.” His hands were shaking, from anger or worry, you weren’t sure. “I’ll deal with Pettigrew tonight. I’ll see you afterwards.” He dropped his hands to his sides while you swallowed a hard lump and tried to steady your emotions.  

When you got back to Hogsmeade, Sirius and you parted ways. You took the day off from the Three Broomsticks but now you just wanted to go to work to take your mind off the forthcoming event that would no doubt transpire later that evening. You walked through the streets and entered Honeydukes, the warm smell of every sweet you could ever find radiating off the entire building. “What do you think Harry likes?” A girl with brown, bushy hair asked a tall boy with flaming orange hair. Hair that reminded you terribly of the Fabian and Gideon Prewett. They were good people and better friends and were part of the Order. But by the end of the war, they were killed by five Death Eaters. Your heart sped up at the mention of your godson’s name but what if they weren’t talking Harry Potter? Harry was such a common name there was bound to be at least five Harrys at Hogwarts right now.

“Oh what about this- chocolate cauldrons.” The ginger answered and reached up the shelf to get the said sweet.

“We can get him chocolate wands too! I bet he’ll like those.” The girl chirped. Mrs. Flume, the owner’s wife, approached them and offered them samples of new fudge, they happily accepted. “Harry’s going to be thrilled! I wish we could get him more though.”

You bit your lower lip nervously and decided to approach them. “Hi, I couldn’t help but overhear.” You started and the two kids looked at you in confusion and suspicion. “I wanted to help. Here,” you fished some coins out of your pocket and handed it to them. “Use this to buy your friend more chocolate.” You smiled at them.

They gaped at you wordlessly. “I-we couldn’t- I mean-” The girl stammered and you shook your head to stop her from trying to return your money.

“I had a friend who couldn’t come to Hogsmeade that much before either...” You trailed off, “We used to buy him all the chocolate we could afford. You two remind me of that time.” You sniffed and offered them one last smile before you turned away and grabbed some chocolate bars and went to the counter to pay. Before you left, the two students thanked you profusely. If they really were your Harry’s friends, then this was the least you could do for him right now.  

You were sat at the kitchen of the small house, a teaspoon absently stirring on a cup of tea that had long gone cold. It was nearly sunset which means that the Halloween feast will start soon and Sirius will execute his plan- a plan he hadn’t bothered to tell you. For your own safety, he insisted when you kept on asking. A tap on the window by the sink brought you out of your thoughts, you turned to see a brown barn owl perched by the windowsill. You flicked your wand and the window opened, allowing the owl to fly inside and land on the table gracefully. You unlatched the letter on its foot and broke the seal to unroll the piece of parchment. A deep sigh escaped your lips and you gave the owl some treats as payment. You pocketed the parchment and went to grab your coat.  

Dumbledore invited you to the Halloween feast. You couldn’t remember people outside of Hogwarts being invited to the feast before, but the Headmaster did what he did you guessed. Besides, if you were inside the castle, you might be of some help to Sirius. You might also catch a glimpse of your godson. What you dreaded though, was seeing Remus again. Though you wondered how he’s been doing, you were far from ready to share a conversation if that would ever happen; you hoped to Merlin Dumbledore wouldn’t make you seat beside him. Hell, you’d take sitting beside Snape than Remus in these circumstances.  

You arrived at the gates of the castle not long after and Mr. Filch let you inside, though he was not happy about it. You entered the Great Hall just before the students started flooding in. It was wonderful, the hall had been decorated with hundreds of candle-filled pumpkins, a cloud of fluttering live bats, and many flaming orange streamers, which were swimming lazily across the stormy ceiling like brilliant watersnakes. “Miss Y/L/N, we’re happy you could join us.” Dumbledore greeted as you arrived at the front. The others barely even noticed you until Dumbledore started talking.  

“I didn’t think it would be polite to refuse such an invitation.” You answered. “Besides, I missed this.” You gestured towards rest of the Great Hall where students were getting seated on their respected tables. Your turned back to the old wizard to see him smiling at you, his blue eyes twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles.  

“You may take a seat beside Professor Sprout, Y/N.” He told you and you sighed in relief. Not only was Professor Sprout seated far away from Remus, but she was seated at the other end of the table, much to your delight. You barely spared Remus a glance, even when you could literally feel his presence radiating towards you. Poor man must’ve been so confused. You took your seat and scanned the Gryffindor table, trying to catch the messy mop of black hair of your Godson, but Professor Sprout took your attention away with a conversation.  

The food was delicious like you always remembered. Sometimes you could hear Remus’ voice as he talked animatedly to Professor Flitwick. Hearing his voice again made you feel weird things on your stomach. You blamed the food. He sounded happy though, and that was all you could ever ask for- his happiness.  

The feast ended with entertainment provided by the Hogwarts ghosts. They popped out of the walls and tables to do a bit of formation gliding; Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost, had a great success with a reenactment of his own botched beheading. It was a such a pleasant evening that you forgot all about Sirius and what he wanted to do.  

“The dementors send their love, Potter!” You heard a boy shout as the students started to leave the hall. You hadn’t had the chance to see Harry at all. There were just too many students. You ran a hand through your hair in exasperation. You wanted to see him so badly; and what was that about Dementors? Were they causing problems to Harry?

Only a few of the staff remained in the Great Hall as you approached Headmaster, “Thank you for inviting me again Dumbledore, I’m really glad to be able to visit.” The man waved you off stating that it was nothing and stated that Hogwarts will always welcome you home. Before either of you could say anything more, a student came running inside the Hall asking for Dumbledore because of an emergency. The wizard immediately excused himself and followed the student out. You looked at the remaining teachers; Professor McGonagall, Snape, and Remus stood up from their seats and started out as well and you opted to follow them, remembering Sirius and praying that this wasn’t because of him.

The Fat Lady was gone. Her portrait slashed to pieces. You stood behind the teachers and looked around; your heart was beating madly, alarms sounding off your brain. You locked eyes with green orbs and gasped when you realized it was none other than your Godson. He was standing beside the bushy-haired girl and ginger boy from Hogsmeade earlier that day. He was looking at you too, and you could tell he wanted to ask a million questions at once. Lily gave you a lot of that look before.  

You were so emotional at seeing Harry again that you almost missed Dumbledore ask Peeves if the Fat Lady knew who tore her painting.  

“Oh yes, Proffesorhead, he got very angry when she wouldn’t let him in, you see.” The Poltergeist grinned, “Nasty temper he’s got, that Sirius Black.”

The Gryffindor students immediately began whispering amongst themselves and Dumbledore sent them back to the Great Hall. They were soon joined by the other houses. You stayed behind by Dumbledore’s request and helped the teachers in searching the castle.  

While going through one of the corridors, someone grabbed you and pinned you against the wall so suddenly you instantly pointed your wand to the person’s chest, about to blast him away. Your breath got caught in your lungs as you realized who it was. “Remus?”  

“Y/N, you didn’t have anything to do with this did you?”

Shock was no doubt written all over your face. First conversation and already he’s assuming the worst in you? “Pardon me?” You asked incredulously.  

“Y/N, tell me the truth, did you help Sirius break in?” His voice firm, his usually warm eyes burning holes into your very soul.

You furrowed your brows and pushed him away. “Of course I didn’t. In case you missed it, I was at the Great Hall the entire time.” Though you really did help Sirius, you didn’t help him break into Hogwarts.  

“Then why are you here exactly?” He asked, one of his hand held his wand like a flashlight while the other rested inside his pocket.

“Dumbledore invited me.” You flatly replied and you could see him roll his eyes and groan tiredly.

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about. Why are you here Y/N? Near Hogwarts, at Hogsmeade, working a job you don’t even like? Do you really think I’d believe it’s just mere coincidence? You suddenly moving at Hogwarts the moment Sirius breaks out of Azkaban?”  

Damn was he good, but you weren’t about to let him get the upper hand on this. Your mind reeling, you thought of an excuse fast. “It’s not a coincidence, no.” You admitted. “I’m just worried about Harry’s safety.” He raised a brow at you but didn’t say anything so you continued, “I heard from old contacts that Sirius may be after Harry, so I wanted to be close by incase anything happened.” Your voice actually wavered and you hoped Remus thought it was because you were getting emotional. “I can’t let anything or anyone harm Harry. Even if it was Sirius.” You held his steady gaze and you knew he believed you then.  

Remus sighed. “Snape no doubt thinks one of us did it. Helped Sirius I mean.”

You shrugged. You never liked Snape but you didn’t have anything against him either. “He probably thinks both of us did.”  

Remus actually let out a small chortle. A smile broke out on your face. “Take care of yourself Y/N.” He said and started to walk away.  

You stared at his back moving away from you. “Hey Rem,” You called out before you could stop yourself, heat rising on your face as he stopped and turned to look at you in question. “It- it was nice to see you again.” He let out a small smile as he nodded and turned back to walk away. Well, you thought, that wasn’t so bad.  

___________________

Permanent Taglist:

@coffeeismylife28 , @oreofrappiewithblueberry

[marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer]

MTVS Epic Rewatch #183

BTVS 7x04 Help

Stray thoughts

1) I feel that season 7 had started on the right foot, and Help is one of the prime examples of that. Hardly ever were MOW episodes the most memorable of the show, albeit a few exceptions that include unique premises and/or demons (Hush, OMWF.) But I feel Help is definitely one of the strongest episodes of the season. It is in no small part because of Cassie Newton. And let’s be real, how often is the victim more memorable than the monster? The actress who plays Cassie does a marvelous job of playing the “woe is me” type without being obnoxious, which is quite the feat. Instead, Cassie comes off as sensitive, intuitive, empathetic, and, unfortunately, doomed. But I think the real reason this episode works so well is how Cassie’s predicament mirrors Buffy’s, and ultimately, how Cassie is just yet another person of the countless Buffy feels she failed to help. But more on that later.

2) The montage of Buffy trying to counsel the kids is pretty neat because they kind of nailed their different reactions to being counseled. You’ve got Amanda, who’s honest and opens up immediately and kind of welcomes Buffy’s pieces of advice. Then the douche (who also played a douche in VM, btw…) who is basically just a douche. And the kid who doesn’t want to talk and just stares at her. And then there’s Buffy, who kind of doesn’t know what to do with any of them, regardless of their attitude.

3) 

XANDER I bet she's giving them great advice.

WILLOW Absolutely! Those kids are lucky to have Buffy looking out for them.

That’s sweet! Especially considering Xander and Willow are having this conversation on their own. They’re being 100% honest. 

4) Willow’s timid and insecure demure is such a welcome change from her almighty and overconfident demeanor in season 6. And it’s an arc that eventually pays off.

WILLOW I don't know what I can do. I mean, frankly, I'm scared of what I might do. 

XANDER Yeah, I get that. Figuring out how to control your magic seems a lot like hammering a nail. Well, uh, hear me out. So you're hammering, right? OK, well at the end of the hammer, you have the power, but no control. It takes, like, two strokes to hit the nail in, or you could hit your thumb.

WILLOW Ouch.

XANDER So you choke up. Control, but no power. It could take like ten strokes to knock the nail in. Power, control. It's a tradeoff.

WILLOW That's actually not a bad analogy.

XANDER Thanks.

WILLOW Except... I'm less worried about hitting my thumb, and more worried about going all black-eyed baddy and bewitching that hammer into cracking my friends' skulls open like coconuts.

XANDER Right. Ouch.

WILLOW Sorry. Xander, being back here... I don't know...

XANDER It'll take time. Are you sure you're ready for this?

Also, kudos to Xander because I think he was doing a great job of acknowledging Willow’s concerns while giving her sound advice, you know? He wasn’t his typical “it’ll be okay” self. He was honest. He admitted it would take time and that it would be hard on her, but he didn’t doubt for a second that she would make it. 

5) And then…

6) This is perfect…

BUFFY It sounds like it's difficult for you. Like maybe your sister makes it hard for you to establish your own identity. You said she's controlling, she doesn't let you make your own decisions— 

On a more serious note, though, how does the school allow Buffy to counsel her own sister? I mean, talk about conflict of interest, right?  

7) 

PRINCIPAL  When I was in high school, I had a thing with this guy, right? Real bully. I kept telling everyone that he'd better sleep with one eye open 'cause I was gonna bust his ass. Well, I got suspended. Talk like that is taken pretty seriously where I come from.

BUFFY The hood?

PRINCIPAL Beverly Hills... 

Yeah, Buffy, you know what happens when you assume...

8)

PRINCIPAL Every time there's a threat like this, we do the same dance. Inform teachers, search lockers, but we can't—we can't know what's gonna happen, and we can't search their brains. We just—we just do what we can.

BUFFY It's not enough. I need to fix this. I don't usually get a heads up before somebody dies.

This is what’s interesting about what Carrie represents, both in the show and in real life. Buffy goes into this purely as a counselor, and she soon finds out that her resources as such are very limited. She probably thinks Cassie is having suicidal thoughts, and Buffy finds herself helpless to prevent this. The education system’s red tape makes it impossible for her to take action in a more effective way, and there’s no demon she can kill to prevent Cassie from dying. This is addressed again when she goes to Willow and Xander.

XANDER Buff, you spilled a cup of coffee. I'm not saying you don't have slayer grace, but it's not the first time.

WILLOW I mean maybe, just maybe, you're trying so hard to help that you're seeing paranormal when there's just normal.

9) Wow is this joke dated!

WILLOW Have you googled her yet?

XANDER Willow, she's 17.

Side note: did you know this line right here made BTVS the first TV show to use the word “google” as a verb?

10) It seems Xander took a line from Veronica’s book, right? You marshmallows out there will get what I mean...

BUFFY Wow, that's a lot of poems.

XANDER Poems. Always a sign of pretentious inner turmoil.

11) 

WILLOW I don't know. I mean, a lot of teens post some pretty angsty poetry on the web. I mean, I even posted a melodramatic love poem or two back in the day.

XANDER Love poems?

WILLOW I'm over you now, sweetie.

12) Buffy was really stepping over her boundaries, though…

BUFFY We know you've been picked up by the police a couple of times. We wanted to know if you still—  drink a lot.

MR. NEWTON What's that got to do with Cassie?

BUFFY Frankly, we were worried that you might—drink too much and hurt Cassie. That's all. (that’s all???? you’re accusing this guy of beating up his daughter!!!)

MR. NEWTON Oh. Oh, I see. That's-that's all. You just come in here in the middle of the night, into my home, and start accusing me of beating on my daughter? That's all?

BUFFY We just want to make sure that Cassie's—

MR. NEWTON Well, that's a lie! Who told you this? Did Cassie's mother put you up to this, 'cause I pay my support, OK? To the dime! She just wants to take away the one weekend a month I get to be with my girl.

I’m sure in any other town but Sunnydale this type of behavior would get a counselor fired, right? 

13) And isn’t Cassie Buffy’s mirror image?

 CASSIE You think I want this? You think I don't care? Believe me, I want to...be here, do things. I want to graduate from high school, and I want to go to the stupid winter formal... I have this friend, and it would be fun to go with him. Just to dance and hear lame music to wear a silly dress and laugh and stuff. I'd like to go. There's a lot of stuff I'd like to do. I'd love to ice skate at Rockefeller Center. And I'd love to see my cousins grow up and see how they turn out 'cause they're really mean and I think they're gonna be fat. I'd love to backpack across the country or, I don't know, fall in love, but I won't. I just never will.

This is pretty much Buffy’s plight to a tee, right? The wanting to have a normal life but knowing she won’t be able to. I actually made a parallel set between this speech and Buffy’s in Becoming, but there are so many other examples of Buffy voicing this same concerns and wants (Welcome to the Hellmouth, Prophecy Girl...)

14)

SPIKE Yes. There's evil. Down here. Right here. I'm a bad man. William is a baaad man. I hurt the girl. 

BUFFY Spike, stop it! What did you do?

SPIKE I hurt you, Buffy, and I will pay. I am paying because I hurt the girl.

BUFFY Spike. No. It's not me. It's a different girl, OK? Her name is Cassie Newton. Please, do you know anything specific?

SPIKE Don't—don't leave me. Stay here, and help me be quiet.

BUFFY  I think it's worse when I'm here. 

On the one hand, I think it was necessary to see Spike flogging himself over what he’d almost done. I mean, how do you keep a character who’s done what he did without having him beat himself up for it? And I get that Buffy, as the victim of his assault, needed to be the person to witness how guilty and sorrowful he was. But... on the other hand, the writers had put themselves in a no-win scenario. They ruined Spike’s character development by having him almost rape Buffy, and now the only way to turn things around was to have Buffy, his victim, feel sorry for him. She shouldn’t have been put on that spot, especially when so little thought was given to her own trauma (a few flashbacks in Beneath You, that was it... never again does she flinch from Spike’s touch or get away from his company...) At the same time, Buffy is this type of person, the one who constantly puts the other cheek. Not only does she forgive easily but she also takes care of those who hurt her (think of her comforting Willow right after she almost had Dawn killed, or the oh so many times she tried to help Faith after one of her betrayals...) She is selfless, and I don’t see why this time should have been any different. Still, I can understand why this can make people uncomfortable. It sets a weird - to say the least - example for assault victims. But I don’t think it’s fair to say Buffy was out of character. 

15) I kind of liked this guy until he said this…

BUFFY You aren't mad at Cassie, with her rejecting you like that?

MIKE Nah, she's a girl right? Making boys crazy is like your job description.

Well, your job description is being a stupid dumbass, apparently. And Buffy laughed??? Buffy would NEVER laugh!!!

16) 

PETER Back off. Get back! Get back, you stupid bitch! 

Now that’s the Buffy I know and love.

17) I have nothing to base this assumption on, but I’m guessing they had Spike beat up the douche and get a headache because fans might have bought the previous season’s red herring that he had gone on the quest to get the chip removed, so this was the writers’ way of telling the fans: “Spike still has the chip, he really did get his soul back.”

18) This is so sad…

19)

WILLOW Cassie didn't know? Then it was fate?

XANDER I think she was gonna die, no matter what, wasn't she? Didn't matter what you did.

BUFFY She just knew. She was special. I failed her.

DAWN Uh-uh. No. You didn't, 'cause you tried. You listened, and you tried. She died 'cause of her heart, not 'cause of you. She was my friend because of you. I guess sometimes you can't help.

BUFFY So what then? What do you do when you know that? When you know that maybe you can't help?

It’s kind of odd that Buffy went seven seasons without asking herself this question, though. It is a quintessential superhero question, after all. And it’s very similar to the question that’s brought up on ATS in season 1, although we do get an answer there. So, Buffy, here’s your answer:

If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.

[internet-content]

Ok I'm actually really excited to hear that you didn't like Jurassic world because I didn't either and I want to have a more articulate and informed way to tell ppl why I don't like it other than the "unnecessary and forced romance" point and "it just lost the magic" I was just super disappointed w it and I want to hear more abt your opinion on it. Sorry if this is kind of rambling btw

no worries! for those of you who did not read the tags on this post a couple nights ago, I said:  #I did my capstone on this!!#jp is so explicitly and awesomely feminist#(even though it only has 1 human female character)#the other part of my capstone was that jurassic world is shit garbage its shit it sucks and I fucking hate it

first off I want to correct myself, I said that sattler was the only human female but HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT LEX

these are the bullet points of my 14-page senior project (you asked for it):

jurassic park subverts the male gaze (the dinos do basically all of their murdering when they’re unseen or partially obscured, esp. in the “clever girl” scene; this could be down to spielberg’s famous “less is more” approach to monsters to enhance their effect but still)

this one’s a little more of a stretch but isla nublar, the dinosaurs, and nature in general are all coded as female in the context of the film, and humanity as a whole is coded as male. humanity (who is attempting to impose restrictions on the island and life itself by putting up cages and commercializing everything) is inarguably completely and utterly defeated by the dinosaurs and the island, the protagonists barely get away with their lives and hammond is the only jurassic park employee to see the end of the movie. (female-coded) life finds a way. asshole

also the female characters (ellie and of course LEX) are hugely expanded from the novel (where lex was a whiny younger sister stereotype with no redeeming traits) and ellie probably takes more direct action towards saving the humans than any other character. not to mention that most of the heroic male characters are killed, injured, or too old to contribute anything of value (looking @ you hammond, whose masculine god-playing was the cause of this whole shitstorm in the first place; “dinosaur eats man, woman inherits the earth”). also the book ends with the island getting firebombed and all the dinosaurs fucking dead but spielberg wasn’t having it

jurassic world is on the other hand a rampaging sexist dumpster fire which specifically subverts most of jp’s feminist ideas. owen is in charge of the raptors, when they defy him they are killed (this is the movie where a velociraptor is unceremoniously blown the fuck up for daring to violate her master’s control, in a moment that is an echo and inversion of the “clever girl” scene, i’m pretty sure that prior to this the only thing capable of killing raptors was the t-rex)

claire fucking dearing. hhhh. I won’t go into detail about everything (you can go through my sources at the bottom if you want) but this character is constantly belittled for…basically everything she does, no matter what (even when she saves the kids’ lives they want to chill with chris pratt like fuck no he’s a dick in this movie) but ESPECIALLY egregious is how much everybody (her sister, owen, the kids) wants her to be a fucking mom, she’s “defrosting ice queen” personified but it’s like the movie wants her to be defrosted through sheer brute force (alan grant was forced into a paternal role in jp but that was due to circumstance, not so much his brother on the phone weeping and begging him to quit his dumb job and focus on the important things like babies) she’s basically on the verge of tears this whole movie and it’s not hard to see why, it’s really uncomfortable to watch it while paying attention to how the other characters treat her. the 3.5 inch heels aren’t even worth mentioning tbh. oh also there’s also a moment where owen is pressuring her to prove that she’s worthwhile in a survival situation (my paper was called “sexism in survival situations” after the scene in jp) and she does so by…removing her top. hhhhhh I could go on but there’s more than just this one fucking character wrong with this movie

remember zara, the assistant who’s forced to do the mothering while claire goes and TRIES TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE DOESN’T FUCKING DIE thus leaving her nephews to hang out for 4 HOURS AT MOST? (this unforgivable transgression is what prompts judy greer to call her up WEEPING) well you might remember that she lets one of these asshole kids out of her sight and they go on a……..guided tour in a bulletproof glass dome. and then endanger themselves by straying off the path into an area clearly marked as not for access. so I’m pretty sure zara weeps too as a result of this and then later on she is torn apart by like 20 different dinosaurs over the course of a full minute. and a lot of people already know this but it’s just so worth mentioning: this was the first time a woman had been killed onscreen, EVER, in a jurassic park movie. it lasted 60 goddamn seconds, twice as long as it took the main villain of jp (wayne newman’s character) to be killed. i mean. you can just imagine the filmmakers going “you know what? it’s time for a woman to die onscreen, i think that’s what the franchise needs” like

owen grady (chris pratt) really is a pervy piece of shit in this movie, constantly hitting on claire, esp bad since at the end they fucking make out for no goddamn reason. chris revealed in an interview that the first kiss with her after they fight the pterodactyls was unscripted, and a total surprise for bryce dallas howard (colin treverrow, the director, was also there and he confirmed this). I think there’s another interview where she addresses it and she didn’t seem to mind really so ymmv but that’s at least a little icky idk

this movie has more characters overall but the amount of female characters who contribute anything goes down from 2 to 1. it’s been over 20 years but we can’t have 2 women who push the plot forward, okay, whatever (the characters I’m not counting are the lady in the control room who literally friendzones nick miller and zara, who did nothing wrong and died too soon. i liked merlin. she should fire her agent)

god and there’s so much more wrong just with the structure of jurassic world, the characters, the cgi, the themes, everything about it just falls apart under even the smallest bit of scrutiny, I could turn this into a generic shitting-on-jurassic-world post but it’s already long enough

I might’ve gotten a little carried away but like… jurassic park honestly isn’t even in my top 10 favorite movies but I’m so angry about jurassic world. I really hope the person who sent me this anon actually follows me and I didn’t just write this for nothing lol. jurassic world is so bad. its so bad.

“sources” (these are mostly subjective movie reviews that I used to help me form my arguements, this whole post is basically subjective so who gives a shit): Chris Pratt/Colin Treverrow interview, Jurassic World’s Mother of a Problem, ‘Life Finds a Way’: Monstrous Maternities andthe Quantum Gaze in Jurassic Park and The Thirteenth Warrior (it’s ch. 1 in this doc), The Perma-Pump: Jurassic World’s SilliestCharacter, The Death of Zara Young, or: How I Learned toStop Worrying and Hate Jurassic World, Jurassic World Has A Serious Woman Problem