#sorry for venting so much im just kinda a mess...shits been really hard recently cuz of a ton of shit that i still dont wanna talk about
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i left my room to piss and get a drink and im am shaking like im being hunted for sport wtf
#why is my anxiety at an all time high???#i would like to be normal please!#my anxiety is so bad that i wont even let myself eat at all because im scared that someone poisoned the food...thats not logical at all ik#hell even getting some ginger ale was so hard for me...i have to keep reminding myself that theres nobody who is trying to brainwash me#i saw my door cracked open so i know someone was in my room...and im trying to be reasonable but its so hard when my anxiety is so bad...#as in i am trying to tell myself that nobody put razorblades in your bed and nobody poisoned your drink and nobody is trying to control you#nobody put cameras around your room nobody filled the house with gas and is going to set it on fire nobody put a tracking device on you...#im so paranoid for no reason...well there is a reason...but i honestly dont want to talk about it...and ill talk about anything...#so me saying i dont wanna talk about it is a huge indicator that its not very good...at all...#as in i cant talk about it with anybody...not even my closest friend knows...nobody knows...its just my secret that ill die with#there are a few secrets about my past that ill take to my grave...and thats saying something cuz i use humor to cope and i cant even joke...#im just a kid...and ive been to hell and back and i just want a fucking break...#idfk i just want to be normal...#sorry for venting so much im just kinda a mess...shits been really hard recently cuz of a ton of shit that i still dont wanna talk about#idfk sorry
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