#im so paranoid for no reason...well there is a reason...but i honestly dont want to talk about it...and ill talk about anything...

[light-wrath-paradise]

Animorphs Book club book 8

My reaction can be summarised as this (yet again):

I don't have many thoughts because uh. That was depressing as hell and I need to stare at a wall.

But I DO gotta say that the subplot with the dead "wife" was so telenovela-esque that for a good minute it was more funny than depressing. Then it got depressing. But it was so jarring and so far out of the left field that for a good second my friend and I had to pause the audiobook and laugh because ????????? Unhinged to just appear, go "I am Eslin, I have a G U N. My secret wife was killed. By my boss. Now I yearn for sweet sweet revenge." and not elaborate. Like. Damn dude ok. Sorry about our wife also. Fucking killed me that he continued like "So anyway I reacted adequately by killing all of my boss' friends. Starvation style." Like ???? Jjhsgdjsdfghsjdfh what????? I mean damn I do respect the grind set but also that's such an absurd escalation out of context. Did your boss kill your wife? Kill all of his friends! And in context the most absurd part is probably the notion that Visser 3 has friends??????? Like??? Wait no Eslin. Eslin wait. I love your John Wick-esque "fridged wife" trope swag but you need to slow down. I need details. I need you to tell me HOW your boss even has friends.

In my heart I do not believe we will see that madman ever again but on god I do wish for an insane telenovela-esque sequence of him just showing up at the most random moment to do exactly one thing and that's to pull a gun on Visser 3. For no reason, I just think it would be kinda funny. Like,,,did your boss kill your wife?:

Kill all of his friends

Acquire a G U N

Attempt to make the local Andalite youth assassinate your boss for you

Pull the gun on your boss

???????

Profit (probably die)

Aside from that, I also need to say that the moment when Ax called Tobias his close friend at the end was so sweet. Also ngl kinda...concerning/harrowing how much Tobias really doesn't give a shit about not being a human. Like it doesn't seem so concerning from other points of view but the way Ax gets increasingly weirded out by Tobias not asking him about the nothlit (idk if I'm spelling that right rn) really reminds you that it IS kinda worrying. Like I get it, I mean...Tobias has no family that cares about him, he has no friends outside of the Animorphs friend group, why would he care? But it's still kinda...yeah.

Also unimaginably surprised by the amount of collective guilt present in the Andalite society. You'd think they're Catholic or something the way they keep beating themselves up and force everyone to also beat themselves up and their system itself is saturated with the guilt and shame and they teach it to kids at school from an early age. Like. Jesus Christ calm down. Stop that. As the Animorphs said at the end of the book - the Andalites made an oopsie once. It sucked, yes, it continues to have consequences that suck, yes, but it happens. Sometimes you think you're doing something kind and it turns into a disaster. That does not mean you should beat yourself up for it or, god forbid, tell other people that they should not be kind lest they make a mistake. Damn I guess we should all be cold assholes forever, huh? I'm sure that can't have any negative consequences.

Andalite society in general seems kinda unhinged. Like...do I get why it is like that? Yeah. But do I find it unhinged? Also yeah. Like ok duty and the collective being the most important things is totally sensible for a prey animal. Safety of the herd and all that. But it's still kinda unhinged that they do make everyone have duty as their number 1 priority and that they have rituals devoted to it. Not all rituals are spiritual or religious in nature, but the morning ritual is kinda...borderline religious in a way. More spiritual than religious, I suppose, but yeah.

Also I love Ax so much. 10/10 character. He has it all: an incredibly hilarious desire for cinnamon buns, the inability to act like a human being (same dude), spitting random facts at completely random times, a thirst for blood only a 13(?) years old could have, a dysfunctional obsession with duty and doing what is right that only a 13(?) years old could have (also lol yeah dude I was like that when I was 13 too. dw you'll grow out of it), he can even code. And he might even be bi (I'm joking but I' referring to the fact that he was like "Yeah so when I morph into a human form I suddenly agree that Rachel is beautiful and that Marco is cute.").

[sk3l3t0n444]

i left my room to piss and get a drink and im am shaking like im being hunted for sport wtf

[tennessoui]

Ok, but what if in the jealous AU, Anakin receives a week off from the war and Padme plans a vacation on Naboo. Anakin is fine with that, but since the secret restaurant date he is regularly cheking on Obi-Wan, so he calls him but his master is not taking his calls. So a little paranoid he calls to Depa or Fisto and the answer is: Dont worry about Obi-Wan, hes perfectly fine, hes is a diplomatic mission/vacation on Alderaan and he is like: "Sorry Padmé i have to go, I have a secret and important mission on Alderaan."

Meanwhile, Obi-wan's diplomatic mission is plotting with Bail againts the Chancellor, or actual vacation bc he is a bitch and petty and if Anakin can take a vacation with his senator, then he of course can take a vacation with his senator friend-suposed-lover-his-padawan-is-jealous-of.

this ask understands the characters in the jealous au (this prompt fill and this follow-up prompt fill) soooo well like

a) im imagining anakin off-handedly tells padmé that he's been given a week of home planet leave, wherein his troops will meet up with master kit fisto's troops and his padawan will learn from depa during master billaba's next mission to secure jedi ruins (ahsoka's special interest) & padmé is like 'oh that's good to know and it aligns very well with my own upcoming break from senatorial duties. remember when you wanted to run away together to a spa? let's do that now!'

b) anakin is not like thrilled but is 'fine with that' lmaooo like he could take it or leave it honestly. sounds like a fun thing to do. he'll be more enthusiastic he's sure during the actual trip, honey, he's just tired right now and can't help plan it

c) but hey, spa week with his wife is something to do

d) but THEN waIT why has he just received notice that obi-wan is ALSO taking a week break's from the war in the form of a diplomatic mission??? and he's going to alderaan of all places?? that is not good. that is not good at all. anakin is NOT fine with that. he's done enough """"""diplomatic missions""""" to naboo that he knows very well that the only diplomacy getting done is the negotiator himself!! this is horrible!!

e) like didn't anakin TELL obi-wan not to do this very thing?? didn't he warn him? didn't he say that it wasn't allowed?? and now obi-wan is flaunting this affair--this--this insult to the very institute of MARRIAGE right in front of his face!! no. no this takes precedent over everything. anakin cannot be sitting in a spa with his lovely wife for company when his master is getting laid somewhere in the galaxy. it's just wrong. it's just not done.

f) anakin confronts obi-wan about the infidelity and the sanctity of marriage and the awfulness of bail organa specifically, and obi-wan points out that hey, why are you assuming breha isn't in on it? i'm going to alderaan for a reason after all. maybe you and i share a taste for royalty.......

g) .....anakin kidnaps obi-wan for a week. or, well, obi-wan calls it a kidnapping but he could turn the ship around at any point and he has his weapon and after they get back he does not file an incident report. he just bitches about it (even though this is by far the best case scenario in his opinion - overthrowing palpatine can wait.)

[paingoes]

Tag Game: Whumpee Writes a List of Needs

Inspired by this post! Make a post with a list of things your character needs their Caretaker to do (or not do, in terms of triggers to avoid) for them during their recovery - things that it would be difficult for them to say out loud. Could be in-character or just author's description of what they need.

yippeeee thank you for tag @thewhumpcaretaker i love it

uhhh who would be good at this tag game..... @secretwhumplair @lethologick @rainbowsandwhumperflies @horrible-on-main @doumidas-whumps @baphomimi ??? no pressure

honestly open tag for whoever wants to do it and i really encourage you to do it because this is a v cute exercise

loosely in-character lists for both boys below :D

they both have multiple caretakers so not addressed to any particular person and its set roughly within Vol.II time period

Delta

i like being given a choice but sometimes its too much and i trust you to make decisions for me when i cant. not major life ones but its okay for small things

no yelling ever please

please don’t make me talk or tell me to shut up both are really triggering

you can tell me if im being weird. its less humiliating to be corrected at the time than it is to find out later. i wont know otherwise.

i can’t help the verbal tics and its not anything you did wrong most of the time my head is just fucked

please let me stay around even if i am quiet i still want to be near you

please just tell me if you are unhappy with me it makes me nervous when i cant tell

praise is good and i want to be good and i want you to be proud of me

telling me how much you hate my abusers just makes me feel wrong and broken for not feeling that way. i know you mean well but its alienating and makes me feel like a bad person.

im okay about touch. i like being touched. you don’t have to protect me when it comes to that. i know what i’m doing.

please stop me if ive been awake longer than 48 hours or at the computer longer than 12. 

crying or not crying does not really indicate anything anymore. it happens for no reason or it doesn’t happen when i need it to. it’s better to just ask and to believe me.

be patient and gentle during the lapses. you already do that please keep doing it because it means more to me than you know

Paris

warn me before you touch me because my nervous system is all fucked up and still launches into fight apropos of nothing and i don’t want to hurt you

you can tell me to fuck off if im being too aggressive and you can tell me if i need to leave. its okay if you leave too i will try to panic less about it but id rather that happen than keep arguing and say shit i cant take back.

its okay if youre mad at me but can you just reassure me that you are not going to leave forever because of it. or if the time does come when you are going to leave forever will you tell me that too

no drugging ever not even for my own good. i know if its an emergency i wont have a choice but i dont want it.

no matter what is happening to me do not call the cops

also can you give me a heads-up before i have to interact w any of the rebels because it takes me a while to psyche myself up

i can’t always come out of the dissociative episodes but i appreciate you maintaining presence anyway and id be worse off if you didn’t do that. just because im unresponsive doesnt mean i dont want you there. i like hearing you talk.

you can confiscate my phone and sharp objects if im manic but let me keep the cigarettes. you can take the lighter though.

dont talk to me like i’m stupid

dont take pics or videos without asking it makes me paranoid

you can ask me to do things for you no matter what state i am in. i want to help you and to repay you in some way and its good for me to not feel entirely useless. i will do it.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for pretending to be cis online? im a trans man and have been trans for almost ten years now. i am pre-most transition even though i would like to fully transition, due to money and medical phobia complications. i do not pass irl.

a few years ago i attempted stealth (saying i was a cis man) on a discord server before ultimately admitting to being trans because i was afraid everyone could tell, and was informed that even though they even heard my voice on the server, no one there suspected i was afab, and even when i said i was trans, some people assumed i was coming out as transfem, because i had passed myself as a cis man so well. this gave me euphoria, of course, and made me regret telling anyone since i was apparently passing so well.

i held onto those feelings, and a year or so after that, quietly changed my bios and stuff to remove the trans part. a little while after that, i started actively saying i was cis male in my bios and to new friends.

i should clarify this is not out of safety or fear of transphobia, all my family and irl friends know im trans and are 100% supportive, im lucky enough to live in a very progressive area, and my online existence is small and filled with tons of trans and supportive people. it's only because i feel dysphoric when i know people can perceive me as afab, and since i don't have control over that irl, i just want someone in the world to see me as amab, even if im not and never will be.

i also am not by any means a transmed. i myself am also gnc, and many many of my friends are loud and proud queer weirdos, and i am too with everything but my agab. i love the wacky ways other trans folks present their genders and refuse to sanitize themselves for cisciety. i do not think anyone should ever have to water down who they are for any reason and i don't think being afab makes anyone less of a man, just i personally don't like facing the fact that i am afab and would rather people see me as a cis man whenever i can control it.

this might be where the asshole comes in here, because being gnc, being surrounded by so many trans people and being in many "afab dominated" spaces (such as fanfic writers, tumblr, fandom in general honestly) as well as having a lot of trans headcanons makes me paranoid people are going to clock me and even if they don't say anything they'll know im faking being cis. because of that, and to avoid the dreaded "egg" conversations (people trying to insist or imply that ill soon "find out" that im transfem) ive sometimes been telling people when the subject comes up that i had experimented with my gender before and thought i was transfem or nonbinary in the past, so i sort of fit the idea of cis+ and that might be why i feel more trans than cis even though im definitely cis.

i also tell them im intersex and have trans family (both of these are true, though obviously im intersex in a different way than i say) to get them off my scent.

i know i dont owe anyone my agab, but when all is said and done, i am lying about my gender and history with gender exploration, and i kinda feel like im disrespecting other trans folks by implying it would personally feel better to be cis, like i can't relate to other trans people saying they never want to be cis and the goal of being trans isn't to be cis. but i do. i also worry that having trans hcs (including in sexual contexts) for characters while im presenting myself as cis makes people think im a chaser.

anyway sorry this is long, but aita for lying about my gender?

What are these acronyms?

[mao-likes-2-draw]

i played slay the princess for the first time with my sister! it was pretty weird but really cool and good. its funny and scary all at once. lovely art style too!

the first ending we got was i believe the burned grey? the next was the tower, which i did not enjoy 😭 and then we got the thorn!!! it was so sweet i love that girl and the combo of Voices were just amazing. next we got the spectre and then the nightmare which may be the most terrifying jesus fucking christ…

these are my thoughts on all the Voices! (im not smart and dont really know what to think right now . dont judge me)

the voice of the hero - GOAT! stuck with us through All The Trauma. reasonable and empathetic. truly neutral and just generally the Normal one. love this guy

the voice of the cold - goth ass emotionally closed bitch. dont know too much about him but a fan of the monotone voice

the voice of the smitten - sounds like lazslo from wwdits?? kind of annoying sometimes but hugely funny and kind of representative of how acting too much on one’s devotion/emotion can lead to problems

the voice of the cheated - done with everyones shit and i think thats fair honestly…had to endure a lot of pain . super funny! literally doesnt gaf anymore. i <3 the razor too

the voice of the opportunist - LOVE him. i know hes annoying and sort of a bitch but i cant help but favor him because his chapters are just so great. and also hes a people pleaser what more can you want?? built on betrayal and trying to one up people all the time…ok girl lets get you to a psychologist

the voice of the broken - GIRL STAND UP!!!! i just want to give him a hug hes so defeated…please get the disembodied voice a blanket and some therapy

voice of the hunted - I LOVE ME SOME ANIMALISTIC INSTINCTS !!!! i know hes technically a bird but i just imagine him as a shivering chihuahua. super jumpy and survivalist as a trauma response. gotta love it

voice of the contrarian - jester coded. doesnt care. wants to have fun. unreasonable….pairs really well with the narrator. silly ass

voice of the skeptic - hes not fun and sort of annoying im SORRY skeptic,,,hes really logical i feel and just doesn’t seem to act on emotion unlike the smitten

voice of the paranoid - hes a coward and i love him. literally got us through the scariest fucking route!!!! we survived because of his mantras!!! i feel him. just an absolute mess of anxiety and fear

voice of the stubborn - like the cold, i don’t know much about him but he loves beating up the adversary and also being beat up by the adversary and theyre both happy. couple goals

!!!! okay thats it. will be thinking about the opportunist and paranoid forever now thank you guys

[johnkahner]

Omg, i'm so obsessed with your blog and your fics!!! I made this account just to like and interact with you... Sorry is this weird? ANYWAY, i saw a post about you asking for mk1 ideas to write... What you think about the reader being like one of liu kang chosen is a very talented sorcerer but kinda weird, he wears black all the time, its quiet, gloomy and enjoy ritualistic stuff but the other champions who are close to him find him very likeable, funny and kind and of course hes not evil just awkward.

BUT without anyone noticing he nurtures a massive crush on Tomas and is like really nervous when they interact, Tomas actually enjoy spending time with the reader a lot because of how interestingly weird the reader is... And maybe a mutual crush happening?? I dont know im so sorry for my bad english im so obsessed with this game and Tomas especially!

Also sorry if i'm not doing this right i never had a tumblr before hahaha ok sorry i talk to much

AN: Hi! Sorry this took a while. I'm glad you like the blog! It makes my day to see people interact with it. Your English is fine! I honestly haven't used Tumblr much till I made this account. This was also fun to write. I wrote the reader as male because you used he/him. I hope you enjoy it! Not proof read.

Notes: Male! Sorcerer! Reader

To be honest it was difficult to make friends with the people who were fighting for the protection of Earthrealm. Like the other champions and yourself got along wonderfully. However due to the stigma that sorcerer's had it was sometimes hard for you to get people to trust you. Not to mention your clothing color of choice, black, being most of the time considered an evil color.

Most people thought that you're working alongside the Deadly Alliance as some sort of spy, but that's far from the truth.

One day a Monk from the Wu Shi academy was yelling at you for some reason. You don't know what you supposedly did wrong, but most of the time if something bad happened others would blame you.

During the Monk's shouting the Lin Kuei trio were on their way to discuss something with Lord Liu Kang. Tomas approached closer to the two men to see what was wrong, and to find a solution that could fix things.

He sees you wearing a tired frown. Not a moment later you two connect eyes for a moment. It was different. There was no malice that you could feel coming from him.

"What seems to be the problem?"

"This fool was trying to listen to my conversation with Lord Liu Kang. Yet he insists that he isn’t just like a liar would.”

Looking paranoid not only for the false accusations that the Monk is making towards you, but Tomas is the one coming to your aid. Whenever he was near you, your nerves didn’t know how to act. Tomas smiled at you.

“I believe you are mistaken about my friend. He would never do that. Not to mention it’s not very polite to judge someone based on their appearances.”

The monk would argue with Tomas, but decides it’s better to just leave. Well after sending a glare in your direction.

“T-thank you for y-your help, T-tomas. I g-greatly appreciate it.” You bow a little. You really are grateful that he helped you out. He smiles at you.

“You're welcome, my friend. Would you like to hang out if you’re not busy?”

“O-oh! Sure, that w-would be nice.”

The two of you walk in silence for a moment. Enjoying the scenery around you two. After finding a place to sit down, he would ask you what it’s like to be a sorcerer and about some rituals you would perform sometimes. He wants to know almost everything about you and what interests you. Tomas listens very carefully to how you perk up at his questions, and how you ramble on about the little finer details of your explanations.

What you two don’t know is the mutual feelings that are forming between each other. Maybe one day it would blossom into a beautiful relationship.

[kanohivolitakk]

Can i hear more of your thoughts on ehlek if you want bc im very intrigued by your bingo answers and the hc you mentioned

Absolutely! Full disclousure though: Im villain woobifier and while I dont woobify all my villain blorbos, Ehlek is one of the ones that I do.

Ehlek is my third favorite Barraki (my 1 and 2 being Pridak and Takadox respectively if you're curious) and one of my favorite characters in the series as whole. I honestly consider him to be one of the most underrated characters in the series, and easily the most underrated character that isn't a serial-exclusive lore character (see Miserix or Artakha for instance). Just, I adore him so much.

One of the main reasons I like Ehlek is because of he is rather unique by Bionicle villain standards. Ehlek is one of the rare villains in the series that isn't a variation of the "powerhungry conqueror with a personality gimmick to stand them out" archetype because...he isn't really powerhungry or greedy at all. Instead, Ehlek is pretty much exclusively characterized by his anger and paranoia towards others. Ehlek is motivated not by a thirst of power, but rather by his emotions: from what I recall most of his actions in canon stem from wanting to hurt whatever upset him that day. And like I said, this incredibly unique by Bionicle villain standards, the only other villain who is motivated exclusively by emotion is Miserix, and guy isn't even really a villain (TSO and Pridak ocasionally are driven by their emotions, but they still mainly fall to the "powerhungry bastard" trope Greg loved to use). And not just is Ehlek stand out, he stands out in a way I like. I love villains driven by their emotion, so Ehlek being a paranoid distrusting mess is just the absolute best for me.

Because Ehlek is an emotionally driven character and doesn't fall for the "greedy bastard Greg villain mold" unlike his fellow Barraki (Takadox and debatably Carapar not withstanding), I actually really like thinking of Ehlek as the "token sympathetic villain" of the Barraki. I ADORE the "token sympathetic/nice guy in a villain faction" trope, and wish it was something Bionicle had done more often. Now, due to Barraki being tyrannic conquerors, seeing any of them as a "good guy" is kinda iffy. However, I do think having one of them be less bastardly and more sympathetic/tragic could work very well. And I think Ehlek is the best fit given his personality as said. As such a lot of my Ehlek related headcanons are giving him more sympathetic traits. Including giving him a tragic backstory because of course I would.

So my backstory headcanon for Ehleks backstory is rather long and detailed, so I wont go everything here. But I can give you a summary. Basically my headcanon for Ehlek is that he was a prince/ruler of one of the many underwater kingdoms in a continent somewhat wayside of the Matoran Universe. He was well meaning and rather naive, and thus was used as a political pawn by other political figures. He was repeatedly manipulated and taken adcantage of both by other rulers and his own allies. Eventually, after being told he had been used by his own advisor the whole time, Ehlek snapped, and killed anyone he saw as a threat, including the aforementioned advisor. Guy basically become a tyrant after having his trust being broken and kindness abused one too many times.

And thats why I put all those "aaa poor baby uwu" answers. Ehlek for me is a tragic figure who was evil not by nature, but because being repeatedly betrayed and used broke his mind to a distrustful mess. He never wanted to hurt anyone, he just wanted to love and help others. Unlike the other five Barraki he wasnt always an opportunistic warmongerer, he was orginally a kindhearted sensitive soul that wasnt able to take it anymore, so he broke. Just god little little baby you didnt deserve it and shouldve been able to live a happy nad fulfilling life.

[clancykisser]

Hi, I hope you're well!

I'll get right into the reason why Im sending you this: I feel guilty for going to unfollow you, but very recently, I realised I'm probably going to selfship with Torch or Clancy in the nearish future. Whether it's platonically or romantically, Im not sure yet. I checked out your F/O info so I could check if I'm going to accidentally cross boundaries and realised I should unfollow once I read you aren't comfortable with others with your main F/Os. I want to respect your wishes.

I see myself as Clancy a lot, and so I sometimes consider shipping with Torch. And then vice versa when I feel more like Torch.

Anyways, ultimately, I want to say your artwork and blog overall is amazing!! And you seem like such a nice and creative person. I wish I could have been mutuals with you, or spoke with you, but now I dont think I can.

I'm sorry again for unfollowing. And you can delete this if you want to.

Thank you for reading.

— @clancyships / subjectfirebrand

@clancyships

Hi! that's fine, you should do what you like! I don't mind people who selfship platonically with them, and honestly ppl who kin or relate to clancy who selfship with TB are also nothing i'm too worried about since I also think they're dating! This is a kind of complex one for me, but I appreciate you being aware of my boundaries.

in the future tho to all with this dilemma w me and my non-sharing romantic f/os (this is /gen not mad at u friend it just made me realize it):

i would much rather be blocked or unfollowed quietly and not sent messages about this. messages make me anxious and i don't believe in people's need to explain themselves for making their space comfort. also, the mere idea of someone popping in and being like 'oh hey im gonna f/o your mains so im unfollowing u' makes me really anxious/scared because the second my ocd is AWARE of this sort of situation it's gonna make me really upset/paranoid all day :c (thats not on anyone but my ocd and bipolar though) i would rather not know about it at all in general, even if we follow one another.

I promise I am never going to get upset or confused as to why ppl unfollow me. I don't pay attention to follower counts and never will. I'm here for my own enjoyment and space and beleive people can be in it for their own too! So never feel guilty, and never feel upset or like I'll dislike you! I never will, promise, it's just something I'm not comfy hearing about and in the future would much rather be hard blocked about <3

[catboygirljoker]

1, 2, 13, 20 aaaand 23 for Luxord for the character questions meme (+ anything else you might want to share for him)

yaaayy yippiee!! character ask game

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

before KH3, Luxord was alredy one of my favorite org members. hes so funny and weird and iconic. he looks like he would wear those dad sports sunglasses and a t-shirt with a bad divorce joke on it, but he speaks like if you trapped a classically-trained English actor with a hyphenated name in a Hyperbolic Balatro Chamber for 15 years. he has an absolute blast being a Villain but he isnt evil in the slightest. he just wants to play his card games and have a good time.

and then KH3 introduces the context of him having an undefined "ancient keyblade legacy" that forces you to consider the idea that he might have pathos. an inner world, complex feelings. what kind of guy talks the way he does? why is he Like That?? [my answer is autism.]

KH3 also makes him much more complex by iterating on the role he played in previous games. he spends most of his time in Days wondering aloud about what's going on and wishing he had more information, but mostly just doing his job, working as a low level mook, minding his own business. in 3, he's had enough of that. Xigbar doesn't realize until it's too late, and Vexen doesn't seem to realize at all—though whether Luxord realizes what Vexen's up to is a different story.

i dont even know about dislike. if i had any reason to suspect that the card metaphors thing was an act, i might be concerned about that—i think it's funnier and more interesting if it isnt—but besides that, nope! just love this guy, wanna see more of him.

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

i love his dumb nobody pirate ship.

idk how easy it is to tell but if you look closely there are Nobody emblems on the sails. did he make this boat? commission it? summon it? design it? did he ask for the emblems? did they manifest? i dont care about the answer. im just happy it exists

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

that i associate with him: 🕰️🃏♠️♥️♦️♣️⏳

also honestly i can imagine him using emojis for emphasis a lot. thats already kinda how he talks. you ask him if hes free to go to that new KBBQ place that opened downtown and he says "We shall see 👁️🔮 what the cards hold 🎴🃏 but afterwards ⏳🕰️ would you like to come to my apartment and play a game 🎲♟️ I just got the Wingspan expansions 🦅🂠"

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

can he meet kevin flynn from the grid. i feel like theyd have a lot to talk about. you KNOW Luxord has game design opinions. and i think hed love video games in general, esp. feel like hed really enjoy early ttrpg-inspired computer rpgs like KotOR etc. plus Luxord would LOVE The Grid and Space Paranoids. i dont even know if this is possible due to sleeping world stuff etc. but thats my answer. :3.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

something about this official render is sending me. "hmmmm...the pondering planner.......the gaming strategizer..........." he chose the pose himself. he thinks he looks so cool. well he is. i love you luxord.

anything else i wanna share—

im just gonna plug xiglux with player!luxord again here. im not even necessarily gunning for player!luxord to be canon there's just a lot of tasty Parallels at work here.

[toxycodone]

i dont think im obsessed but when you dont respond to messages within 24 hours i get unreasonably paranoid about you. my brain tells me you secretly hate me and youre only putting up with me because i haven't done anything to give u a good reason to hate me and stop talking to me.. and youre just waiting for me to do something wrong so you can lash out and make a call out post about me and ruin my life. actually this thought process applies to all of my friends not just you. hmmm. this is not normal i think.

i do crave your attention, specifically, so fucking bad. more than i like talking to my other friends. but i purposely dont talk to you often because 1) i dont want to annoy you by bombarding you with messages 2) i dont want to make you feel guilty for not interacting with me constantly and 3) i want to stop myself from being dependent on you

does this sound like a disorder or is this. normal? this isnt normal but is it concerning... idk.

whaaaaaa anon it’s just your anxiety honestly and truly. I am too old to give anyone attention that I don’t like or write call out posts. I don’t care. It’s the internet you can do as you please idgaf. I’m the person you least have to be concerned about bc well. I’m just here.

I can assure you you don’t annoy me :’) I’m just really busy. And really depressed. I read everything I see and smile so hard I just…aghhhh. I’m hitting a wall w my job + grad school + etc I’m sighhhhh

But! Yeah. I’m honestly so curious what makes me even like. Enjoyable to talk to. Or worth talking to really. I’m genuinely amazed you like actually wanna talk to me like that. 😭 I feel like all I do is just go “hmmm…yesss…ok.” And just stand around and whine about how I hate myself.

[fictionfixations]

marius: dont worry ill catch you! me: jumps into his arms i think it was about to switch to a different thing cause it went white and then it suddenly kicked me out LMFAOO like sorry marius you didnt catch me 😭 i was suddenly kicked from existence 👍

sorry i havent really been making posts about this game, ive been playing it on and off, especially cause at one point my cards were too weak 💀 for like the trial bit at the end of the last episode which is a bit infuriating to keep replaying cause i couldnt skip but i mean nothing new, the game crashes during trial bits all the time and im just sat here like okay wtf was the answer again i know i just answered it a few minutes ago but i already forgot. what were we talking about even????

i feel like ive started growing indifferent to it and just moving on when it happens. thats a good thing cause usually it just frustrates me and sometimes i have to take a break (which leads to procrastinating from the game for months LMFAO)

honestly i think i only really got super frustrated about that was cause id get super immersed in the story then i suddenly get kicked out like hah you want to learn more? RE OPEN THE GAME 💀💀💀

also feels bad man. and i know its kinda like do you respect the victim's wishes or do you like out a person as guilty when the victim forgives them and stuff

but also fuck no they still did a crime i have no sympathy for them. that might be because so far i havent seen like a legitimate reason from them that makes me want to give them a pass. like yes they have reasons but is that valid enough (in my eyes) for me to not put them under the scrutiny of the law and serve time? no

okay guys we're back in the good timeline where we're saved. CRAZY that the house was set on fire though LMFAOOO mans recreating how his family died to an innocent couple (well we're not a couple but we pretended we were) like bruh what. like im sure you justified to yourself killing like vans(? was that his name? this is what happens when i dont play in awhile i just forget names like who) but HELLO???

guess he was sus of us but jeez louise.

HUH

WHAT

EWWWW

like sorry i know youre probably not being a creeper

but you are acting like a creeper dont watch people from the windows thats like my number one fear man 😭that theres just gonna be a person outside the window and i dont notice i just see a face and its scary as fuck

mans is paranoid. like i mean he was right to be worried about us but like for all he knew we were just a couple looking to buy a house like bruh and you were just watching. what if we got freaky 💀. i mean probably not we were in a former crime scene and marius pretended he was a little scared of it but like dude chillll. like i mean you were in the right i guess cause we WERE investigating but man.

do i want to know how you know my shoe size (okay well i dont have a screenshot of that dialogue exactly whoops my bad)

oh god this is scary theres like 3 more levels before we get to the trial. i did not realize we were already there but i mean we did get proof already

scared to know what episode 5 is about. why does it have 3 parts.

actually looking at the rest of the future story is kinda scary like 1. thats a lot. 2. whats gonna happen D: i think i like it better when you dont know how much story is left (unless you keep up with like updates or like search it up yourself)

screenshots of stuff thats like | this a ways (i dont know the difference between horizontal and vertical if im being honest) is always a little weird cause they take up so much room (on the post) which i have to keep getting used to. like it looks normal on a phone but like viewing it on like a - screen feels a little weird

[officialgleamstar]

MNMOMS??? 👀👀👀👀👀

hmmmm I’d like to know more about the relationship between the moms and their kids maybe? if you havent answered that already?

oh or anything about the relationship between any of the moms

really just anything about mnmoms, im obsessed GSHSHSHGSHEH

HIII LEX!! oogh. relationships between the moms and their kids... i think ive mostly only talked about morgan and nick/nicholas, on tumblr at least, so i can definitely get more into that :D

morgan and nick... well-trod ground. morgan is severely paranoid and over-protective of nick, while nick is severely clingy but also has to pick a fight with everything she say, etc etc. i havent spoken as much about morgan's relationship with nicholas i dont think beyond establishing that she loves him and that hes a total mama's boy gbhjfdhjbj so i can talk about that!! though shes more well-managed by the time he is present, morgan is still very protective of nicholas, helped by the fact that he is the most high-strung kid on the planet. hes very jumpy whenever jodie isnt around, seeing him as his main source of safety, and hes also like... pretty aware of morgan's conflicted feelings on him? nicholas is exactly what morgan always wanted nick to be, well-behaved and careful, and it just makes her so much more aware of everything she lost. nicholas knows he is loved, and morgan does love nicholas, but hes also very aware of... well, his mom is different to him now, too. he can understand that he is just as foreign to her, hes a smart kid. they love each other very much, and honestly, morgan's relationship with nicholas is a lot healthier than it was with nick, but theyre both overly aware of the elephant in the room.

carol and grant probably have the most consistently positive mother/son relationship throughout the entirety of mnmoms, besides mercedes and lark at least! however, this... isnt for good reasons LMAO. pre-forgotten realms, carol generally wasnt home much, preferring to work herself to death at her office job. so grant literally prefers her to darryl just because she was never the one around to get mad at, she was never trying to talk to him, he didnt have to worry about helping her with chores because she didnt do housework, etc. they love each other very much, but once they get to the forgotten realms, carol becomes very aware that she cannot remember the last time she had a proper conversation with her son. just, no comprehension of whats going on in his life at the moment. its BAD, yall, but the two never really question their love for each other, which cant be said for all the kids. ive talked about this before, but they do have a plot of bonding over their sexuality journeys, carol works really harden to soften her sharp edges for her son and to be more present in his life, and they come out of the forgotten realms in a much better place than they went in! (though, take this with a grain of salt, because its definitely the same way that darryl and grant came out better in canon. this does not mean that they werent both traumatized LOL)

samantha and terry junior... start off the worst, for sure :') i have talked about their relationship before but it was part of a longer ramble about sammy, so i will reiterate it here! samantha has a bad habit of going therapy mode on terry junior and he is very aware of it. she is of the opinion that she should not put her emotions on her son at all, because she is his mother and thats not his responsibility (which actually stems a lot from samantha's relationship with her own mom but i think im gonna get into that more for isadora's ask--). however, terry takes her facade of calm as her being utterly in denial about terry senior dying at all, and he cant understand why she wont even show that shes upset. this already puts their relationship in a tenuous space over a few years, and when samantha starts dating and then marries ron, terry's trust in her is. utterly obliterated. at the end of their time in the forgotten realms, like with ron, they arguably have the best relationship though! samantha learns how to show her emotions without having terry junior feel obligated to help her and does her best to be more vulnerable with him in general, and terry junior learns how to accept that his mom is allowed to have a life beyond his biological dad. they make me so fjhbghjbghj <3333

and okay. right. finally. haunted expression. mercedes and the twins.

firstly, mercedes and lark. consistently a good relationship! they have the typical oak-garcia issue of lark running all over her, not really treating her as an authority figure, but its obvious that he absolutely adores her and that she adores him in turn. this is helped by the fact that mercedes is definitely the "fun" parent - glenn parallels, lol - so she has even less control over the twins than henry did, mostly because she never thinks to exert any. still, even though lark and sparrow are absolute agents of chaos, they love their mom and lark never stops loving their mom. by the end of their journey, he's a little more distant from mercedes out of guilt, mostly. lark is still the one to stab henry in this au without any of the deep rooted rogue card anger to validate it for himself, and he has a very hard time looking either of his parents in the eye afterwards. however, he also considers them both his main source of comfort, and tends to trail them quietly around the house when hes upset.

mercedes and sparrow. haunted expression intensifies. "Is there anything as undoing as a daughter?" sorry for quoting arcane but LITERALLY MERCEDES QUOTE OF ALL TIME. it starts... the same as mercedes and lark: no sense of authority, but very positive emotions! sparrow is not out as transfem at the beginning of their journey, its still something she is working out throughout their time in the forgotten realms (she very much has a moment of like... "i'm in a new place where nobody knows me, so i'm going to pretend to be a girl and see how many people are fooled! that's a very normal thing for boys to do!" and lark plays along lol), and a lot of their time pre-rogue card is dedicated to that! mercedes and sparrow bond a lot as sparrow warms up to the idea of coming out as trans, and mercedes. well. mercedes already knew before going into the realms and has been reading a million different pamphlets and consulting advice columns and talking to morgan on how to perfectly handle this situation LOL. so their relationship is kind of perfect, actually, and they are doing really really well until the deck of many things comes into play :')

post deck of many things, sparrow is... very openly Not A Fan Of Mercedes. she is still the upbeat positive lovewolf twin in this (though i think she more wants to generally be a witch than a lovewolf, since her mama's a bard and not a druid!), so it is even more obvious when sparrow suddenly is not giving mercedes the time of day. sparrow is utterly convinced that she is destined for greater things in a very negative way, and blames her discovery of this on mercedes getting them stuck in the forgotten realms. she also, similar to lark in canon, blames the moms as a whole for the fact that walter was hurt and sees them widely as useless. mercedes, for her part, does everything she can to redeem herself to sparrow, and is endlessly frustrated by the fact that nothing she does works. post-forgotten realms, they argue pretty relentlessly, sparrow locks herself in her room and screams herself hoarse, mercedes storms out into the back garden and cries until she gets a migraine, and henry takes lark out for ice cream-- despite this, sparrow does still seek out a lot of comfort from mercedes, and she has a habit of casually finding herself, at night, in wolf form and curled up at the foot of her parents' bed. strange and so weird how she ends up specifically sprawled out across her mom's feet at least once a week, if not fully laying between her parents. crazy. what a coincidence. shes a fully independent child with no need for comfort for sure though

[neowinestainedress]

First of, I'd like to commend you for making and finishing such a wonderful story!

Second, I'd like to commend YN for being so much more mature than me lol, I still think though that Zoya and Haechan should've never been endgame no matter how made for each other they are. I still think yn deserves better than that and that Haechan deserves a little bit more "worse" than that. While I HATE CHEATING with a passion and would rather not have to justify it if both yn and haechan emotionally cheated on each other i think yn emotionally cheating is literally a long time coming/expected AND deserved with how haechan treats her at that. And while i know real life is not all karmas and sorrows, i still think haechan should've had a bad consequence of his actions, i hope he lost yn and by extention jaemin cause i never saw a bad "karma" given to him all he got was him being paranoid of losing yn which again i think is deserved. and honestly it gave me a little ick with how zoya and haechan immediately fucked each other after yn and haechan called it quits literally a minute ago lmaooo. so all im hoping in my own extended version of the fic in my headis that they dont last forever no matter how "made for each other" they are :p REGARDLESS! i still enjoyed the fic!!! especially all the non haechan parts HAHAHA i love your work so much and i hope you keep on writing banger fics, im just sorry that in my mind i hope heachan in this fic never existed cause he makes my blood boil lmao

Thank you! Sorry if I reply only now but I wanted to avoid spoilers as much as possible so I waited for a while.

Idk I would agree if Haechan was a bad person (like if he purposefully hurt her) but in my mind it wasn't like this so I can't see your point of view. He didn't act well, and I will never justify him, but even if he was a better boyfriend they weren't meant to last and were forced by their friendship so I think Haechan's coldness was the last drop that they both needed to wake up. Same thing for Haechan and Zoya fucking. I get it, I really do, but Hyejin and Jaemin had sex before Haechan and Zoya did, and also two months had passed from their break-up so to me it was a pretty reasonable amount of time to don't count as 'as soon as we broke up you went to her'. I agree with the fact that Hyejin had more reasons to morally cheat.

Also can I ask what you mean by 'hyejin deserves better than that'? Because she's having the time of her life with Jaemin so I don't know if you are talking about her past with Haechan or something else

I agree that he probably should've 'lost her' a bit longer but personally, I don't think he deserves to lose her forever. In real life it probably would've ended like you said but I wanted to show that there's growth in pain and just because something is not meant to be it means it has to hurt, and that if you can is better to forgive rather than hold grudges, especially if there's nothing you can do and the person that caused you pain didn't mean it. Probably it would've been better if more time passed between 'the hurting' and 'the forgiving' to make it look more realistic? Idk. Honestly, I didn't want to drag it too long but I also wanted to show that their relationship had run its course even in Hyejin's mind. The moment she stopped holding to the old idea of Haechan her feelings vanished too and so did the pain, that's why they started to fear for their friendship and not their relationship.

This is not an attack, I'm just trying to show my point of view and explain why I wrote it like this but your point of view is valid! (if it happened to me i'm not sure i would be as wise as hyejin so trust me when i say i totally mean what you say)

i still enjoyed the fic!!! especially all the non haechan parts I SCREAMED PLEASE

Nah don't worry, I get it a lot on my Haechan's fic, I promise I will stop writing him like this (even though I think he was much worse in sour for example even if he got better by the end) If you want to have the perfect boyfriend experience after this, read hits different, you won't hate him there

Anyway, I'm glad you liked it!

[catastrxblues]

hii nadinee <3

the years coming to an end sooooo i need to sneak in atleast another ask that allows you to rant sdajhsdkjah

okay soo, i saw your posst about your rants about tbosas (Im assuming you've watched it? if not ignore this x)

soo i was thinkinggggg, if you wanttt, you can rant about it under this ask bc i love reading your rants and ily

bye noww mwah <33

HI LUCY !!!! thank you so muchh for this askjdklf 😭<33

i just finished watching it and i have some THOUGHTS. but it’s midnight here soo it’s definitely not well put AT ALL T-T

first of all, i just LOVE the fact that they added the “part x : ….” like that was such a nice touch i was so surprised for some reason

CLEM. i don’t know if it’s my memory that sucks, but i think she was a bit too confident and ambitious in this? especially that part with dr. gaul. book clemmie still fabricated the truth of course, but it was more to save herself from dr gaul’s notorious wrath. but movie clemmie did it to make a better impression on her, even went as far as claiming that she wrote it all which is just?? i don’t really understand why they had to “antagonize” her that way.

THE SINGING AT THE REAPING. like the beginning part. it actually gave me chills i love it so much

SEJANUS MY BELOVED. i love him so much. and that part of snow saying to him that he “will always protect him” throwing up because sejanus my love i’m so sorry

TIGRIS too oh my god. she’s just so everything. kind, compassionate, witty. and the part where they added the “you look like your father coriolanus” again, throwing up. i just i love her so much 😭

LUCY GRAYY. okay, don’t get me wrong, i LOVEE rachel and i think she was amazingg (and that scene when coryo was trying to convince her that she would be okay in the end thing after he killed mayfair and her voice cracked i can’t). AND LIKE THE FACT THAT SHE SANG ALL OF THEM LIVE STOP.

but i feel like they made lucy gray soo much more mature in here? as if everything she did was calculated and almost everything she said (before the games) had this ‘sneer’ in them. when, from what i remember, lucy gray wasn’t like that?

and that part at the end, when she told coryo she was going to get some katniss. they also made it seem like she suspected what was going on and was contemplating on doing something about it (which i get because of cinematic reason but). i don’t know, i think it erased the pure insanity of the moment a bit. how paranoid snow is for his safety that he could shed off trust that easily.

oh yeah SNOW 😭 tom blyth was greatt of course. watching this did make me realize how inner monologues can change and affect a story to the audience. because, no matter how good the actor is at face expression, you can never replace the running unfiltered thoughts that goes through a character’s mind.

like. honestly, if i had only watched the movie, maybe i would’ve violently shipped snowbaird too. cool if you do!! and i do get the whole appeal about doomed by the narratives, but i personally just never really liked or shipped them because of how disgustingly possessive snow is of her. how he had once thought that it’d be better to have her locked up in the capitol, his his his for like so many pages, etc.

i feel like the lack of snow’s inner monologue is definitely the reason why we now have so many people babygirling and justifying his actions. don’t know just something to think about i guess.

OH AND THE FACT THAT WE DONT HAVE THE “it’s not over until the mockingjay sings”??? jail that’s literally one of the best quotes from the book and it could’ve been SUCH a cinematic moment i don’t know why they cut that

that’s itt i think i don’t really want for this to go too long 😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVING ME A REASON TO DO THIS LUCY I LOVE YOU hope you’re having a wonderful holiday 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[bubblingstream]

been wanting to make another warriors blog for a while but i finally caved after writing up stuff about my new ocs and not knowing where to post it. im just copypasting this directly from an info dump i made so it's not extremely well organised LMAO but here are said OC ideas :]] im probably gonna spend quite a bit of time on this blog just building on them and drawing them tbh. that's the plan anyway

so imagine a cat becomes a medicine cat apprentice, and when they finally go to meet starclan at the moonpool instead of like.. awe, wonder, admiration etc. this idea of all powerful godly ancestors that can apparently predict fate and maybe even control it according to some cats, and watches them constantly.. fucking TERRIFIES this cat. like he is absolutely shitting his pants level afraid and he becomes gradually extremely paranoid about it all. he tries to keep doing the medicine cat stuff but eventually begs his leader to let him just become a warrior to try and get away from it as much as possible. and it helps but not.. a lot? hes still afraid and struggling.

it also turns out he's also had a pretty rough lot in life up til now, which doesnt help bc if these starclan cats control everything why has he suffered so much? what did he do to deserve it? bad things continues to happen and he questions it more and more. he feels like hes watched constantly and even like hes being punished for something he did, even though he doesnt know what his crime actually was. this makes things even worse.

at some point because of all this he runs off maybe? but he misses his family and clan and he also feels watched still no matter where he goes. and maybe something horrible happens to someone he cares for while hes gone and he blames himself for it because he left and thinks starclan decided to hurt his loved ones for it. so he becomes afraid to even leave the clans and doesnt attempt to run away again.

mind you, in the meantime starclan hasnt caused ANY of this. the things that happen are unfortunate coincidences. but he has no idea and after actually seeing what to clan cats basically counts as God Himself™️ hes a wreck. the books always show meeting starclan as a positive experience but i feel like it's something youd need at least some level of willpower for. youd need the right mindset. not just anyone can become a medicine cat and communicate with their ancestors. it's a big deal and some cats ,id think, just wouldnt be able to do it.

hes called whisperingstorm, he has a littermate called bubblingstream. his mother had other litters so he has many siblings but that's the one he knows best and grew up with. he also has an older brother maybe. dovesomething im thinking. bubbling has his own set of issues but im still figuring out how to make that work. another litter in his family is two more kits who are gonna have matching names, this serves to contrast bubbling and whispering who have conflicting names (they have rather different personalities but they also just. dont get along despite bubblings initial efforts to bond with whispering). bubbling as in excitable and upbeat, then when he grew up stream became his suffix bc hes actually rather.. not that basically. yknow how when ppl picture streams they see a calm, gentle stream that some would consider a relaxing visual? like that, as well as their family having a water/weather theme to their names. hes quiet and slow worded, not much to say. compare whispering, something quiet and soft, then when he got older his suffix became storm because of his explosive, high energy and honestly aggressive personality. so not only do they oppose each other in personality, their birth names themselves wouldve better suited them if theyd been swapped around as those are juxtapositions as well. whispering is loud and aggressive, bubbling is quiet and softspoken.

the reason whispering and bubbling dont get along is cause.. well, whispering is a prick, to be blunt. but hes like this as an active attempt to push people away bc of trust issues. he cares a lot about bubbling, he just also thinks anyone being close to him = him inflicting his 'bad luck'/'curse' (see: STARCLAN IS OUT TO GET ME) on others.

eventually it works and bubbling gives up trying to support his brother for his own sake because whispering goes anywhere from mildly mean to downright verbally abusive trying to get bubbling to go away and the guy cant really keep dealing with that. and whispering hates himself for it but he got what he aimed for so.. yeah.

not sure where im going next with this but i want. drama. but not murder. none of them are gonna be murdery. it's a very family issues and trauma and mental health kind of theme i want going on here. yeah someone will probably die bc that's just kinda a given in the clans but not from killing. i can enjoy warriors ocs that go and kill cats for one reason or another but between them and canon i want something different for once, and this is what i want to create to achieve that. plus running off somewhere and coming back to find out, say, a family member died of greencough or something? it's harder to pin a blame on anything material there. as opposed to a cat from a different clan outright killing them in battle or something.

this is where my blog url came from as you can all guess lol. that's all for now while i finalise things like the names of their other siblings, make solidified designs and come up with more stuff.