#sorry if this doesn’t make too much sense it’s 4:30 am 😭

[awetistic-things]

it's funny how most of the times i tell myself "i'm doing it just for attention" or that "i'm just faking it" or whatnot (i'm not diagnosed, i'll have my very first therapy session in two days, pretty anxious about it tbh but anyway) but literally i never talk to anyone about how i feel/my thoughts/my struggles/etc. and i actually have always kind of suffered from being considered "weird" because of my "quirks" or because i've never been as social as my peers and i went as far as self-convincing i was actually extroverted and enjoyed parties/social events in general when they literally make me anxious and i always try to look confident and pretend my awkwardness is just me being funny (i am actually funny tho lol) and i always try to pretend i'm "normal" (who defines normal anyway but okay) .

and anyway it's not like i saw some random post i related to and proclaimed to the world i'm autistic. i made my research and i think there could be the tiniest teeny possibility i might be autistic (tbh i don't feel comfortable with self-diagnosing exactly because i already feel like i'm pretending even if doesn't make any sense. i support people self-diagnosing when "people" isn't me lol).

sorry for the vent :") lately i've just been struggling with the duality of "accepting i have symptoms of autism even if i'm not diagnosed" and "shut up you're just pretending you have them for clout" (even if i know it doesn't make any sense and i'm just making myself feel worse than i actually should).

hello !! :)

i completely understand where you’re coming from. self-diagnosis is tricky to come to terms with, but it’s important to remember that it’s really okay

being self-diagnosed is okay, being formally diagnosed is okay, being self-suspecting is okay, it’s okay

you including yourself in this community isn’t excluding anybody else, there’s room for all us and more some

i get that it’s a lot easier to support self-diagnosed people and go “yeah ! you’re valid !” while also thinking of yourself as a fraud because you are also self-diagnosed, but it’s really fine

at the end of the day, we’re all just autistic people, and some got a doctor to agree with them when they say “i’m autistic !” which is super cool, but another super cool thing is hearing someone say “i’m autistic !” and just them agreeing with themselves

either way, is totally fine

let yourself breathe for a moment, ‘cause at the end of the day you are not a bunch of symptoms, you’re you, and forget anybody that tells you that you’re in the wrong for how you choose to address yourself (including yourself !! you gotta stand up to yourself sometimes and tell them to stop being so mean !! you’re trying your best and that’s absolutely gobsmackingly wonderful and i’m very proud of you for it !!)

just give yourself a break from the “will they won’t they’s” of self-diagnosing, and just do whatever you can to help yourself out

look up advice for autistics online and see if it helps, dump your heart out to your new therapist about anything and everything, just take advantage of any opportunities you see and give yourself a helping hand, because you very much deserve one <3

[leonpob]

I posted 1,200 times in 2022

That's 295 more posts than 2021!

79 posts created (7%)

1,121 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@gunsatthaphan

@machikeita

@smittenskitten

@forever-in-phapundao

@laowen

I tagged 1,166 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#thai bl - 158 posts

#not me the series - 107 posts

#not me - 99 posts

#seanwhite - 96 posts

#offgun - 94 posts

#off jumpol - 90 posts

#cutie pie the series - 84 posts

#gun attaphan - 77 posts

#vice versa - 73 posts

#zee pruk - 73 posts

Longest Tag: 84 characters

#but like how is the scene with tian looking at phupha drinking not the most replayed

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I have had a little time to gather my thoughts after the GMMTV 2023 event. First off, all the couples are back. I can’t not be happy about this. So here are my thoughts.

Hidden Agenda: I am excited for it in the sense that I do like Joongdunk, but if it doesn’t feel like it’s just a more talkative Kluen and a more talkative Dao then what is rain? Lol I am so here for AouBoom though. They looked fantastic and adorable and just yesss. Am I going to watch it? Obviously I always watch everything for at least an episode.

23.5: It’s MILKLOVE. We got our GL. Everyone was manifesting it and I guess it finally came true. How adorable was Milk being all shy. She was reminding me of myself honestly lol. Fourth and Gemini are in it too which awww they’re adorable 🥺. So excited for this one.

A Boss and A Babe: Forcebook are back!!! Yay!!! This looks so funny to me. Force’s character is so stiff. I am so here for it though. Office romance sign me up.

Only Friends: this entire trailer basically gives you whiplash. Jojo came to play. Firstkhao and Forcebook and NeoMark(which apparently I am okay with 3 hours later). It looks super messy and crazy. I am EXCITED!!!

Last Twilight: I have nothing but good things to say about this one. Definitely one of the highlights of the trailers. It’s JimmySea done by P’Aof and a blind storyline. Ugh. It’s just chef’s kiss if it’s done right which I feel like it will be. I have high faith in Sea and P’Aof. This is not grammatically correct, but oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️

Cooking Crush: OffGun clowned us. This looks too cute for words 🥺😍 NeoMark are in it too. Sign me up.

Dangerous Romance: why am I so obsessed with this one?! I have watched the trailer like 3 times. I love perthchimon now. I love enemies to lovers. I am just so excited. It looks so good. So much depth 😍

Cherry Magic: now I have never been a huge fan of TayNew. I watched DBK and I did enjoy it, but I would never choose them as a favorite. However, I am intrigued by this. I know everyone is concerned. My wife is absolutely angry over it. She was like no no no so I guess I’ll be watching this one with @gunsatthaphan 😂 I am interested to see how they do this. It looks like there are new characters.

I’m adding The Jungle because it has some of the favs in it. Lee Krist Off Mix 😍😍 That is all.

Our Skyy 2 is 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 As soon as I heard the jingle I couldn’t believe it. I was like no freaking way and here we are. Thank you P’Aof 😭😭

21 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#4

Vice Versa is all about the eyes. I freaking love that. JimmmySea are so so good.

21 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

#3

I don’t care anymore. Not Me is such a superior show. The only thing close to it is 1000 Stars. Sorry not sorry. Offgun supremacy. 🔥😍

21 notes - Posted January 30, 2022

#2

Forgot to post my bingo card from yesterday’s event 😂😂

Thanks bestie for making it for me 😍

@gunsatthaphan

Apparently JoJo is directing 3 shows so I have 4 bingos 😂

29 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I very rarely write text posts anymore. I usually just message @gunsatthaphan or @leofiat about my opinions, but today I felt like writing one.

Cutiepie the series may have a weird plot and people may think it’s strange, but I just have to commend everyone working on it.

ZeeNunew have been DELIVERING every week. Max and Nat’s chemistry has improved as well.

I love the production, the writing, the directing. The fact that we get it in 4k ultra hd an hour after it airs on tv with English subtitles. I am so thankful.

I also just need to discuss how beautifully done the scenes for LianKuea were just done in episode 8. The fact that Lian asked Kuea not once, but twice for consent is just…I have no words. That is amazing to see on the screen. The intimacy they portrayed through their actions felt so real to me. I know that sounds naive, but I really felt understood and seen.

This is definitely in my top 5. I know it keeps changing, but all the new stuff just gets better and better. The Korean shows are even coming in hot with Semantic Error and Blueming. It’s nice to see change.

129 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[julia-highstorms]

30 Days of Choices challenge - Day 3

Link to the full challenge by @pixelberrychoices-verse

Day 3 - Favorite Choices LI

I’m sorry, I know I’m supposed to pick just one but I can’t.

King Liam and Jax Matsuo

I love them both as characters, even before as lovers (which I love too, of course).They share some attributes with Kenna, my favorite character ever, so it makes sense why I am so in love with them lol.

They both assumed the role of leaders (Liam wasn’t supposed to be King, it was his brother, European Guy/Leo who was the heir prince. And Jax has this strong sense of justice inherited from his grandfather so he ended up being the Clanless leader) and they are just and devoted to their people. They think first of the security and satisfaction of their people before themselves and both are proud of their heritages (which is a big deal to me).

And as lovers, they’re both incredibly caring and passionate. They never hesitaste to shower MCs with compliments and are always worried about them.

But each of them have traits and flaws that make them unique so I’ll talk about them. And I absolutely love my face claims for them 😍

King Liam Rys

Face claim: Daniel Henney

I’ll start talking about him because I’ve known him for a longer time. Liam is generous, dutiful, polite, and I love his diplomatic skills. He wants to be the king Cordonia deserves. But he’s not perfect. He is insecure (although he’s very aware of his capabilities and limits) and constantly worries about not being good enough to his people, his friends and family and MC, and about being selfish because of his decisions (such as marrying an American waitress against his father’s wishes). His character has depth and complexity (that unfortunately we get to know better through the diamonds scenes) and to me he’s one of the most human characters PB ever created.

He’s the best lover ever, committed and kinky passionate. He’s grateful to his queen, always tells how much she’s important to him, and likes to spoil her and we absolutely don’t deserve him lol

Jax Matsuo

Face claim: Godfrey Gao

Although I’ve known Jax for only one book and I already miss him so much God, this vampire got me hooked since when PB released those sneak peaks about the LIs.

But what I love the most about him is his moralistic nature, strong sense of justice and pride of his heritage. Even though he had his differences with the Clans - since they’ve never done anything to help the Clanless -, he ends up helping on saving Adrian and forms an alliance with him knowing that this would bring safety to his people whether he liked it or not. He sees his people as equals, has a humble soul and is a noble at heart and doesn’t hesitate to help those in need. He’s a flirt and a very caring lover, his love scenes were the hottest ever lol🔥🔥🔥 plus, he’s a great cook, dances and is nice to children. How could I not love him, seriously??? And on top of everything, he’s a sexy vampire and I love vampires lol 😂

And I already miss and can’t wait to see him on Bloodbound 2 😭 I’m so excited to see what happens now that they’re the Clan Matsuo 👀

Top 5 LIs:

1. King Liam/Jax Matsuo yep, they’re both here, I just can’t pick one. I can’t and I won’t.

2. Zig Ortega such a legend still loving mc after all that mess. we don’t deserve him

3. Quinn Kelly ugh I couldn’t give her a year and a day 😭 I miss you every day of my life my little angel

4. Seth Levine I stopped playing RCD but dammit I miss mah Seth boi! He and Teja are being wasted there

5. Kenji Katsaros where r u Kenji???!!! I miss your cocky smirk