#sorry just ;alskdfj i hate him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wench-and-jezebel · 2 years

Text

Devour Reaction:

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Bby Ackles [bby Ackles :)]

[Realizing that the entire movie is contained in the startup and you just. don't realize it yet. but anyway] ☠️☠️☠️☠️

God his kids look just like him

Anne Kilton 👀🤣 [I KNOW! When I tell you this film has SPN vibes… Not a lie]

Dean!

Sir, that’s not- Leave. Run! Your white is showing

THE FUCK IS HE DOING WITH THE GUTS [The fact that you haven't gone hunting before is showing] ☠️☠️☠️ Blechhhh

Now a baby??? BUDDY GTFO. FLEE

Mysterious cabin in the woods

Nekked crying person

SIR

[The end. He ded. Sorry, did you think Jackles was in the whole thing? Oh wait :)]

The voice

[Weirdo monologues are back: Max-coded] Talking in circles

Oh nooo drugs [Dean-coded protective streak pt. 1]

TF [Dean-coded protective streak pt. 2]

[His jacket tho... Dean-coded] RIGHT?! But also… Wtf?! The kid was just gonna shoot them?!

Oooo, bitch

Wot. Is happening. [She was getting the champagne and intentionally being provocative] Oh shit

She favors Kirsten Dunst [Yup, agree]

Yeet. You just gave the lagoon monster a weapon

Ma’am [You mean that’s not how computers work?]

You burn candles on your laptop? Again... Ma’am

“YeH, I pushed a button.” You idjit.

“Watch your fucking language” ☠️☠️☠️ [I hate his boss btw]

Alan Ackles has arrived

Bruh his dad reminds me of your dad 👀☠️ [ASDFASDFADF YOU'RE NOT WRONG] Lemme find out you’re related to the Ackles [I would pass the frick away] I would too! ☠️☠️☠️

[Dean-coded protective streak pt. 3]

WOT

BRUH ITS WILD CHARLIE [Dean-coded protective streak pt. 4]

[Buddy, I love you, but please ask why your friend is demanding your personal info and typing on a computer] ☠️☠️☠️

Wait is this uncoolness again [His friends are very uncool throughout the film: you'll see]

Huh. Uh, y’all run. HE CRAZY

[I love his acting in this scene. The turkey line is so well done too aalksdfj]

WHY CANT THIS MAN HAVE GOOD FRIENDS??? EVER???

BRUH [Did I mention friends putting personal information into random computer programs = not good idea?] LIKE… dude!

Ohhh noooo

Bruh… I’m tripppinnn lol this movie is wild [I KNOW RIGHT]

[Get ready for hate-his-boss hours]

BRUH

BRUH. BRUHHHH!!! WHAT AN ASSHOLEEEEEE!!

["You wouldn't have let Conrad sign you on" HE DIDN'T KNOW?!!?!?] RIGHT?!?

Can this dude keep a mom!!?? [I say nothing… I love them tho]

[Dean-coded protective streak pt. 5] 😭😭😭😭

Say you want him in your pants/skirt without saying it ma’am

[This mom's better at the love-life-meddling than Mary]

He’s so cute thoooo [I KNOWWWW]

☠️☠️☠️☠️ Buddy

[I love Jackles in this whole scene… His smirk/fist pump thing alskdfj *chef's kiss*]

He’s too cute… I can’t even [I KNOWWWWWWWWWW]

Ma’am.

Sir.

Masir.

It’s. Not. Like. This. What is she. DOING. TO HIS HEAD. WHAT. AM I WATCHING WOMAN??? I HAD TO TURN THE VOLUME DOWN. ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ [I did warn you about this scene]

AND SHE JUST WALKS AWAY

[Okay, two things… a) I love Jackles playing the romantic type. And b) the promised friend-uncoolness] *huff sigh*

Bruh why does the voice on the phone sound like him 🤔🤔

Jump scareeee ☠️☠️

Bruh that’s the devilll run [Okay, but. To be fair. His entire life is vaguely concerning rn. Buddy's head ain't even safe]

The smileeee! Isss too cute

Ooooof Wench’s dad, run!

Oh shit [He didn't run] Reverse daydream???

Ah! A k! Ack!!!

Nope. I almost passed out for that one. Bruh.

[Dean-coded protective streak pt. 6. And continued friend uncoolness. At least he apologized immediately, unlike SOME people] 🥺🥺

Uh ohhh he in trouble

Or something

Runnnnnn

[Oh, I forgot that intercourse bit, sorry.] Oooooof. They ded. [They did the deed in a horror movie; isn't that, like, a cardinal rule?] ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Fair. But they didn’t even get to finish

Buddy. DONT WALK INTO A CRIME SCENE. [HE'S CONCERNED FOR HIS FRIEND; CUT HIM SOME SLACK]

OH SHIT THE TONGUE. BLECH

[Dean-coded hug right there.] WITH JODY [And guilt complex. Poor buddy getting blamed by other people again, too] RIGHT!? ["You coulda brought the gun to me" Yeah, you see how me reporting someone else's crime went this time; of course I could have]

Oh no sad music [Buddy's friend just died; I think it's deserved alkdsfj]

Buddyyyy 🥺🥺🥺 Oh noooo

Oh nooooooo [Wot?] The little "son" got me

The way he says “Ok” *dissolves*

[I do like his "play it cool" line. Is so cute alksdjf Help]

Clothes change [Jonathan/Wayne Stranger Things jacket]

Oooop look at that he’s drinking [also Wench's dad-coded]

[Jake's look when daddy grabs his arm is a bit. Concerning.] 🥺🥺🥺🥺 Yep

*sigh* Poor Jake/Tom/Dean

“Marisol” Like aerosol [alskdjf]

[Frecklessss!!! That's the most pronounced I've ever seen them] I KNOWWW

BRUH She got that crazy look in her eye. Don’t go. DONT BRING YOUR FRIEND.

*sigh*

[Did I mention romantic!Jackles is so great compared to the emotionally-repressed character he usually plays? Like, nothing against those roles — I love them, too — but it’s a nice change.] I KNOWWWWW! IMAGINE. JUST FREAKINGGGG IMAGINEEEEE. HIM WOOING CAS LIKE THIS. Poor buddy would combust! [Is trueeee]

Aight… I’m calling it the pathway is them. At least their voices. They are calling themselves.

[Love her ringssss] I knowwww

Blech. Blechhhh! Fingers

POOR BUDDY

Susssssspciousssss

I am Native American; I can confirm they probably do weird shit like that

Buddy only been with this girl 10 mins and she’s already pouring his coffee; I’ve been with my husband 15 years and he pours his own shit ☠️

FREAKING MOVIES KISSING. THOSE FIRST THREE WERE JUST FITTING THEIR MOUTHS TOGETHER

the cat 🤣☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Tf

👀👀👀 I seeee you

Roar

[Get ready for more Dean-coded]

Well damn Jake can’t catch a break-

WHAT THE FUCK BUDDY HE DED

*sigh*

“Give rest o christ… cause you have took half our town already. Please chill out” (I’m going to hell)

[btw, SPN-coded lore-gathering session] Right! [The lights are pretty tho. He be pretty too]

The priest is like this is ABOVE my pay grade

IF HE CUTS HIS TONGUE ONE MORE TIME AACKK

i just kept the tat… ya know… cause- ☠️☠️☠️

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ [My dude slandering Metallica]

[The dog's name is Sammy asdlf *Now* who's getting replaced with a dog?!]

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[I am waitinggggg for your reaction to the ending of this film btw; seems like is gonna be gold] 🤣🤣🤣🤣 [Edit: I was right. Be warned about the increase in cursing alskdjf]

Well shit. Poor devil guy

Ooooooh the plotttt thickenssss

[Early Jackles films has him brooding and staring at things a lot] 🤣🤣🤣

More sitting, more staring [tbf, buddy pulls off the Heathcliffe aura real well]

Ahh! It came in handy!

Oooooooh! Devil shit!

A GHOST

OH SHIT

why Jake gotta go to hell? He’s so sweet [You'll see] And cute ☠️☠️

[WAIT OH HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD THAT’S AMES WHITE FROM DARK ANGEL] What?!? 👀👀 [You'll understand the significance later… for now, @witchy-writer-lady and I shall keep the secrets]

👀👀👀

👀👀👀👀👀👀

OH WAIT!

OOH SHITTTT!!!

LE GASSSPPP!

[aka: this entire movie is trying to sell us on the fact that this lil ray of sunshine is the spawn of Satan laksfdj]

OH SHIT [Bye bye Ames] WHOOOPSIE

BITCH YOU DED

[btw, um. You thought that twist was something. Wait for the next one.] WAIT. Is tarot girl ANNE?!?! Pls Say- [I say nada] Womannnnnnnn she gave him the smooches! That’s not ok [I DID NOT CONFIRM] Like I know he is foineeee but it’s not ok! If it is the case

Oh shittttt

WHY WOULD YOU GRAB THE BLOODY KNIFEEEE??! BUDDY, WHATCHA DOIN THERE?!?! [Okay but horror movie, weapon = good]

This fucking movieeeeee- [Is not done yet] Is wilddddd

Ooof

Ohhhh shit… That’ll do it. He gonna snap [aslkdjf] And start killing with the pick axe [ALSKDFJ]

[That was. That was a yes on the momma thing.] I CALLED IT. ACK. ACKKKK. ACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. KKKKKKKKKKKK. KKKKKKKKKKK. NOOOOOOOOOOO.

VSIDUEBEBSZKIZHSSGV I CANT

I CANT

IMEOT

WOR

How type? I can’t

DEVIL

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENINGGGGG

[Sam-letting-Dean-turn-into-a-vampire-scene-coded. Which is kinda concerning given the. Undertones. of that scene.] BLEHCH

WELL SHIT

SHORT END. EVERYTIME

– – –

Endpoint Reaction:

Wench: I want you to know that I've been cackling at your reaction this whoel time

Jezebel: FUCK COFFEE I NEED LIQUOR ADTET THAT. I STILL CANT TUPE

Wench: asdk

Jezebel: I’m just- Yeah.

Wench: I'm dying of laughter rn

Jezebel: I just…. What. Why. His mother. She was his mother. “I can be anything you need me to be” HOW ABOUT A DECENT FUCKING MOTHER YOU MANIPULATIVE DEVIL BITCH

Wench: One of the few films where Jackles comes out with two parents still alive, and it’s only true because he had four at the beginning and lost two along the way aldskfj

Jezebel: Well, three, ‘cause he killed her too

Wench: Nah, she didn't die

Jezebel: Wtf. But she was dead at the end, wasn’t she?

Wench: The human vessel was. And that's a maybe. We don't know for sure. But she's definitely alive enough to force-feed him blood and shit, so

Jezebel: Oooh. Blech. His MOTHER. Who wroteeee this shit. Bleach. I need bleach for my eyessss

Wench (aside to the audience): She’s never forgiving me.

Jezebel: I just ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Ok I’m good I think

Wench: aklsjdf

Jezebel: It was a pretty good movie. Until the end. That happens a lot in Ackles case.

Wench: Do you see what I mean by, his acting was actually, like, really good? Especially in that context?

Jezebel: Yess! Buddy just couldn’t get a good ending if it was standing right in front of him… Ten Inch Hero next, so I can be equally pissed at the ending but in a happier tone. Maybe tomorrow?

Wench: YEAH. FINALLYYYY. Sandwich shoppe, here we come!

Jezebel: Ending note. SHE WAS HIS FUCKINGMOTHER!?!?

#devour #devour 2005 #jake gray #jensen ackles #this was an adventure #jezebel (pr)#reactions #horror movie reactions #horror #horror movies

11 notes · View notes

denkineptune · 4 years

Text

mha date headcanons- boys and girls :))

♡ request: “i love ur blog already, ur writing is so good!!! im so excited to see the content u’ll be posting !! :D since ur taking requests, how abt some date headcanons for the mha boys (or girls if u want!) ?” - @dianangels

♡ thank you for letting me write girls aaa i chose to do some as first date hc. it was kinda hard to keep jirou’s gn because i wanted to reference wlw stereotypes but i succeeded in gender-neutral because i want everyone to be able to enjoy

♡ dedicating part of this to @anxious-botanist because she’s the one who inspired the momo cuddles hehe sorry it took so long

♡ fic details: headcanons, fluff, gender-neutral reader, 2nd pov

characters: kaminari, amajiki, jirou, ashido, yaoyorozu

kaminari- arcade

↠AR C ADE DA T E

↠you hear me??? arcade!! date!! ideal man, right here, someone claim him immediately or else i will be forced to take ownership

↠he’s super laid back and chill, pretty childish at heart. he only means the best, though, so i think an arcade is exactly what he would go for when taking you on a date! he doesn’t have a lot of money but still wants you to go home with something to remember the date by

↠he buys like $50 worth of tokens and splits it between the two of you, making sure that he tells you which games give the most tickets, because he’s definitely been here enough times to remember

↠his favorite game is either crossy roads or the big bass wheel- he loves crossy roads because of how cute the style is, but also there is impending stress and levels of d o o m as you progress further. big bass wheel is basically just gambling, and i think he’s yumeko jabami.

↠he hacks games to make you win sometimes,, his quirk is bascially designed to do this. it’s like he was born just to take you out on this arcade date. he uses his quirk to short circuit the game and trick the computer into giving you hundreds of tickets

↠he just wants to make you happy and see you smile!! there’s not a feeling quite like succeeding at something as silly as an arcade game, but there’s a certain pride to it that he loves seeing on your face.

↠kaminari only does it a few times, since he knows that you should be earning your prizes ((not that you know when he does it, he’s really cheeky about it))

↠playyyy multiplayers with him! he loves DDR (dance dance revolution)- you do multiple rounds and are equally exhausted by the end of it akdflad you may not be good, and tbh neither is denki, but you still have fun, which is what matters

↠he also loves taking photobooth pictures, he puts on the most horrendous filters and does the dumbest poses, but it’s so adorable. he does the typical one smile, one “serious”, one silly face, one kith > <

↠kami gets cocky,,, it’s just how he is,, he gets overly confident whether or not he’s been on a winstreak

“heyy, y/n! look at my speedrun on this, i’m getting so many tickets, i’ll be able to get a house by the end of it!”

↠and then he CAN’T because he doesn’t get the jackpot eghgdhgeh

↠by the end of the day, you’ve spent hours at the arcade, laughing and screaming with denki as you terrorize the small children. yes, he’s that kind of guy

↠by “terrorize”, i don’t mean like a bully, but he’s unintentionally intimidating kids with his pockets overflowing with ticket chains, a crazed look on his face as he goes absolutely ham on the shooting games

↠there’s electricity coming off of him, kids sometimes have to dodge it when passing by

↠so anyways, by the end of the date, you’re basically being kicked out of the arcade, because, as kami puts it,

“we were here when it opened and i’ll be damned if we’re not here when it closes,”

↠between the two of you, you’ve aquired tens of thousands of tickets??? the employees probably hate y’all, they had to count those beasts of ticket rolls you’ve accumulated during the 10 hours the arcade was open

↠exactly 62,069 tickets (69 go brrr- kaminari’s brain), and you can basically buy the arcade with that currency

↠but here’s the thing: he lets you spend all of it. you heard me, all. of. it. he just wants to see you happy, and the best way he can think of to get a final glorious memory of your smile is to let you spend the tickets as you see fit, this generosity just to see you glowing as you walk out of the building, arms chock full of amazing junk

↠but of course, you’d feel bad if you spent all of it, especially since he was the one who took you out, so you offered him the half of the tickets that were won

“denki, you won most of these with your amAzINg gaming skills, it’s only fair you get to have something too,”

“my prize will be seeing you- your- your-- aw fuck, i forgot the line, it’ll come back to me, just give me a minute.”

↠he tried to be smooth and it failed, but you chuckled at the attempt, so all around, he considered it a success

↠denki gets a lot of dumb things that will probably end up being thrown away soon, but he also gets you a very soft bat stuffed animal that you should treasure and keep forever

amajiki- a walk and picnic in a japanese garden

↠tamaki is very shy, very socially anxious. he’s the kind to wait for people to leave a section of a store before he goes there, purposely do his errands in the early morning to limit social interaction, and find any excuse to leave a situation. which, tbh, isn’t that all of us?

↠let’s be honest here, if it wasn’t y’alls first date, he’d probably not go anywhere. as long as he’s with you, he doesn’t really care for anything too fancy

↠but he’s convinced himself that he needs to do something reasonably big for your first date to make sure you don’t regret your decision to go out with him. so instead of deciding to stay in, he goes somewhere that’s only slightly anxious for him, but where he still feels comfortable

↠so he’s decided on a japanese tsukiyama garden! these places are beautiful by design, not cheap but not too expensive, and people are obligated by rules to be quiet and keep their hands to themselves

↠nobody goes to a garden to socialize, in fact, i’d argue most people go just to look around, rest, and clear their heads. there’s usually not any screaming children, no quirk usage, no villains, it’s a little safe haven.

↠bonus: there’s butterflies :))

↠it’s so peaceful, and he gets to focus on you instead of whatever loud noise is making him anxious

↠he brings a picnic basket filled with all your favorite foods, and his! he makes a show out of displaying what he can manifest with different snacks, making a point to eat edible seeds so he can produce flowers for you 🥺🥺🥺

↠you walk around the garden for a few hours, marveling at the decor and how well-maintained everything is. there’s a koi pond, hanging wisteria trees, and multiple gazebos that create a really comfortable and calm environment

↠speaking of koi ponds, amajiki offers to buy you food so you can feed the fish! you stand on a bridge above the pond, sharing the container with him. the sMILE on his face when he watches you throw the food is so pure i’m-

↠he’s the walking embodiment of “uwu”- his face is so calm and his eyes are shining and he can feel his heart swelling with love i am GOING to cry my eyes out

↠but honestly, he wishes he could stay in this moment forever- you’re happy, he’s happy, and it feels like you two are the only people in the universe. right now, he doesn’t have to worry about school, villain attacks, his future, or anything that makes him anxious; all that he can see right now is how beautiful and at peace you look. he took you out today, and you’re enjoying yourself. this is one of the few things that makes him confident: knowing that he’s able to make you happy

↠tamaki is silently celebrating; you’ve had a good time and he didn’t freak out, so it’s the best possible scenario!

ashido- rollerskating! ((look at her she’s adorable the smile n the eyes aaa))

↠mina is a very energetic and bubbly person, its quite obvious if you’ve spent any amount of time around her

↠for your first date with her, she’d already have a location in mind!!

↠the atmosphere of rollerskating rinks is so electric, she can’t help but feel happy there, and she wants to experience that lovely feeling with you, too :))

↠you enter the rink, and mina is already borderline bouncing off the walls alskdfj

↠whether or not you’ve ever skated before, ashido is super cautious with you- multiple times she’s fallen on her butt while learning how to skate, so unless you’re a pro, she’s watching your every move to make sure you don’t get hurt

“y/n! please be careful- you’re not getting hurt on my watch!”

↠she jabs a thumb in her direction proudly, with the cutest bigass grin on her face awh 🥺🥺🥺she’s really enthusiastic about sharing one of her passions with you

“try to balance, alright? don’t put too much weight on your heel or toes, because then you’ll fall on your butt. here, take my hand and i’ll help you! hey, there you go, you’re doing great!”

↠she pays for everything and will WRESTLE you if you try to disagree aldkfa if you’re the type of person to pay for everything as well, y’all are going to have to fight; mina will not give up

↠ashido comes here a lot, so she’s friendly with all the employees, she has the uncanny ability to make friends wherever she goes ((i mean she’s friends with bakugou,, if she can do that,, she can do anything))

↠she takes one of your hands and backs onto the rink, watching for anyone behind her. once you’re balanced properly, she shows you how to move your feet so that the two of you are in sync

↠skating isn’t super hard to figure out, it’s mostly intuitive, so you’ll get the hang of it quite quickly!! maybe you’re not too fast, but it’s still fun, so it doesn’t matter

↠while you’re moving with care, making sure to focus on your footwork, mina will definitely take the chance to show off her skating skills! she’s moving like crazy, weaving around other people and nearly toppling them over but shh she’s trying to impress you and if i’m being honest??? she’s really fucking good aldkdf

↠it’s obvious that she loves this hobby, and the fact that she likes you enough to share it with you on your first date is so adorable aaaa

↠mina’s really agile- you don’t know if that’s all the hero training or just something that comes naturally, but the way she moves makes skating look like the easiest goddamn thing in the world-

↠she’s such a romantic, she’s definitely put in a request for the dj to play your favorite song, no matter if it fits the mood or not

↠heavy rock? sure!! as long as you’re having fun, who cares about what other people think? super vulgar rap?? w h y n o t ? !

↠she just has that extroverted, positive, charming energy that’s infectious

↠you can’t help but feel at ease around her, she’s a genuinely a great person, and what you think the epitome of a hero is

↠all ashido really wants here is to have fun with you- i mean she really likes you, and hopes that she’ll get to go on another date w/ you, so she’s doing everything in her power to woo u

↠and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t working 🥺👉👈

jirou- hanging out in her room

↠kyouka jirou, being the more introverted person she is, wouldn’t really want to go somewhere super public, like mina would

↠i also believe that she’d want to be friends (or at least acquaintances) with you before asking you on a date- she’s easily annoyed by people, so i think that she’d need to be comfortable around you if she was to be romantically interested

↠and you’ve ticked all these boxes! you understand her sarcastic, blunt personality, and find it pretty amusing. beyond all that, she’s kind and caring, and deep down, she aspires to be a hero for all the right reasons. who wouldn’t love her for that?

↠so for your first date with kyouka, i think she’d want to be somewhere quiet and intimate with you. she wouldn’t want any interruptions ((specifically from jammingyay, who enjoys butting his head in other peoples’ business))

↠the most comfortable place for her would be her room, since it’s really just an extension of her personality, and since you’re quite close, she’d be okay with letting you in her private space. she trusts you.

↠just two guys bein dudes 🤠 ((if you’re a girl, it’s just sappho and her friend--))

↠music is one of the biggest things in jirou’s life, and i think she’d want to share it with you. that is, if you’d let her :)) she has dozens of different instruments, so if you want to attempt to learn something, she’d be totally down!!

↠please show her what kind of music you’re into! no matter what it is, she’ll listen to it. she wants to get to know what kind of person you are when you’re not around other people, and music is a great way to do that. even if you don’t have the same taste as her, she wouldn’t mind, since a) she’ll listen to pretty much anything, she’s not picky; and b) it’s something that you’re showing her, and that’s enough to make her happy

↠she’s not a very formal person, so i think she’d just want to talk to you and hang out. i’d think kyouka would be more of a fan of a gradual relationship, one that starts from friends and slowly evolves into more. and yes, as you can probably tell, i am a sucker for mutual pining and friends-to-lovers tropes-- im a simple hoe 😌

↠she’s super fun to hang out with!! her sense of humor is really snarky, she also enjoys talking shit about people she doesn’t like. if you’re not into that, she’s able to carry on conversation really well. there’s not a moment of awkward silence between you

↠jirou actually really likes talking shit about people hsahsh- as long as it’s someone that’s been mean in some way. she won’t say anything bad about someone who hasn’t done anything to deserve it. but if you’ve wronged her in some way, boy, do you have it COMING

↠by the end of it, i just know your cheeks hurt from laughing

↠she’s just a really fun person to be around, she may not be the most bubbly person ever, but she’s super easy-going and cool ((jirou bias incoming ekejke))

↠i do think she’d try to sneak some kind of affection if she thinks you’d reciprocate- if you’re really getting along well, she might snake her hand into yours when you’re sitting on the bed, laughing

↠honestly you might not even notice until she stops, because your hand feels empty and cold without her like your heart aa

↠if she’s really into you?? might get a smol peck on the cheek 👉👈 please try to get a smol peck on the cheek, it’s very cute and she gets so flustered

↠she goes up to you as you’re about to leave her room, grabs your shoulder, turns you around, and gives you an adorable if not slightly aggressive smooch

↠then she reFUSES to acknowledge what she just did akdfld- she turns away, beet red, and is completely silent

↠meanwhile you’re probably laughing your ass off because wow she’s so cute

↠kudos if you give one back to her, baby is on the verge of exploding ejkdjf

↠her heart just can’t handle what you’re doing to her

↠and despite what her appearance is, her heart is doing backflips- she’s whipped <33

momo: tea and c u d d l e s

↠she’s a very fancy person, obviously. yaoyorozu wants only the best for everyone she loves, and that, of course, includes you! she loves showing affection through giving things to others. her family status only magnifies this aspect of her personality, as being born into wealth gives her the means to spoil you rotten

↠and even though she’s bougie as all hell, she also somehow maintains an elegant and simple air about her. it’s impressive, really. it’s not like she tries to flex her money, it’s just a part of her life, and she enjoys using her privilege well

↠that being said, what’s more elegant and mature than going for tea? it’s a lovely pastime that momo would love to include you in!

↠lowkey,, she’s a whole sugar momma dfkdjla im not even joking- she doesn’t try to be, but virtually everything she does shows how rich she is

↠you arrive at the tea room, and by god is it fancy. there’s multiple chandeliers suspended from the ceiling, which is decorated with classic renaissance-style paintings. all the tables are set with white cloth, plates made of pure fine china, flowers and woven baskets set everywhere to create a cottagecore-like setting. the air about it is so sophisticated, from the patrons (wait is that a celebrity-) to the decorations

↠your face is kinda just,,, 😮,, because what in the world did momo get you into??

“momo, you’re so sweet, and this place is lovely, but don’t you think this is a bit much? not that i don’t absolutely appreciate it, it’s just that this seems really expensive, and i don’t want you to have to spend that much for just one date.”

↠she just chuckles, saying that it was “really nothing” (???? MISS GIRL???)

“don’t worry, y/n, this isn’t too much! i want to have fun today, and this place is so nice! let’s just find a table, alright?”

↠like, hunney, you’re so kind, but this is a LOT

↠but if you say so....

↠she looks at you with the most enthusiastic, wholesome eyes, and soon you’re following her like a puppy towards your table. the waiter sits you down, and leaves, giving you a moment to glaze over the menu to find a drink

↠and there’s so many types of teas, at least 30 on this page alone. you hadn’t even heard of half of these drinks, how would you know if you’d like them?

↠yaomomo seemed to notice your puzzlement, and said that you could get a pot of something simple, like jasmine green or earl grey, and she would get something fancier that you could try. why not?

↠a few minutes later, you’ve already adjusted to the sophisticated and intimidating environment, focusing only on the girl across from you, and how her eyes glittered with happiness

↠she orders a few normal tea foods, like scones with jam, lemon curd, and devonshire cream, and finger sandwiches. the fanciest thing she buys, though, is a blooming tea that arrives in a clear pot. it has an open flower inside of it, which is what the tea is infused with. it’s nearly 16,100 yen for one pot, though, and while you protest its expense, momo reassures you that it’s no problem (you just learned not to say anything about money, as it wouldn’t stop yaoyorozu from spoiling you)

↠ngl, it’s so fun to pretend to be fancy for a few hours at a tea room !! you acted as if you were a member of high society, using stereotypes to exaggerate your actions. it made some people only slightly irritated, but hey, it got a laugh out of a pretty girl, so who’s the real winner?

↠yaomomo taught you some classy etiquette that you should definitely use, it makes her so happy to think that you’re learning about new things while still enjoying your time with her

↠she makes really good conversation!! her intellect seeps through everything she says, anyone who talks to her would be able to tell that she’s extremely well-spoken and mature. momo is modest, and deflects a lot of the compliments you try to give her, so if you try to display your admiration for her, you’d probably need to be very specific about it. she doesn’t have the best self-image when it comes to her heroism and field work. spoken affection sometimes doesn’t get through to her, but you know what does? physical affection!

↠she loves cuddles, and will regularly take you back to her house after a date to cuddle in her bed. her mattress is legendary, and it’s comfortable as hell. there’s an abundance of pillows and the bed isn’t too soft or too firm, and it’s always somehow an amazing temperature???? mattresses are investments, and this was definitely a good one

↠momo loves the intimacy and trust of holding you, it allows her to escape from overthinking and only focus on you, her beautiful partner. she doesn’t care if she’s the big or little spoon, but her favorite kind of cuddling is when you’re on your back and she’s curled into your side, head tucked under your chin and hand on your chest

↠she can do this for hours, please let her. she feels safe with you, confident, because you’re choosing to spend time with her in this quiet moment instead of being off somewhere else.

↠in conclusion,,, 💕women 💕

-denkineptune

446 notes · View notes