#sorry this is very long i have been thinking lots and nick is so much worse than initially considered like he is just absolutely so evil

[sturniqlo]

Payment in Kisses- C.S

summary: where y/n has trouble painting her left hand and chris comes to the rescue. short blurb

cw: a bit of cursing, FLUFF

an: WOAHH thank you guys so much for 1.4K!! here's a little something i cooked up💋

masterlist | join my taglist

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"Ugh!" Y/n groans on the bed, wiping away the nail polish that smeared outside her nail. She looks at her right hand and the painting was horrible, she always had trouble painting her right with her left. She capped her light pink nail polish and placed it on Chris' nightstand.

She pours some nail polish remover onto a cotton pad and wipes off the polish off her right hand nails. Sighing, she grabs her phone and scrolls on her phone for a while.

"Chris, baby. I'm bored." She comes up behind him and wraps her arms around his neck. "Hi, babe. You finished painting your nails?" He takes his headset off and looks down at her painted left hand, then to her bare right one. "What happened to this one?" Chris grabs her right hand and turns to face her. "I couldn't paint it nicely, it ended up messy so I took it off." She shrugged.

"Want me to paint it for you?" He stares at her lips that wore his favorite lipstick of hers. A bright shade of dark pink. "You would do that for me?" She gasps. "Of course! C'mon let's go." He lets go of her hand and turns off his computer. Y/n walks to his bed and grabs the light pink polish and plops on his bed.

"Let me see that." Chris sits in front of her and grabs the small bottle from her. "Your hand, please." He brings his palm out. Y/n giggles and places her hand into his palm. "Thank you, beautiful." He kisses her knuckles and puts her hand on his knee so he can open the nail polish. "Here, I'll hold it." Y/n holds out her free hand to hold the bottle while Chris has a hold of the wand.

"Welcome to Chris' nail salon." He puts on a serious voice. Y/n only giggles. "You are my very first customer," Chris swipes the polish filled bristles "And might I say, you are very pretty." He smiles, breaking character. "You're so silly, babe."

On the third nail, they were both in a random conversation. "When're you filming again?" She brings the bottle to him so he can re-dip the brush. "Sunday, we're filming a car video. Oh- that reminds me," He goes to paint her nail, and Y/n waits for his answer. "What does it remind you of?" She giggles.

"Shit, sorry." He laughs. "Me, Nick and Matt want you to film another video with us, if you're up for it." Y/n had filmed about three videos with them and she's made an appearance in some of their vlogs here and there. "Sure, I'll film another video with you guys- just as long as it's not a baking challenge. You guys are crazy when filming those."

Chris smiles. "I promise you it's not. It's a parent challenge." Y/n furrows her eyebrows. "Where are you guys going to get a baby?" He laughs again. "No, not with a real baby. With eggs, if we break it we lose." "Ohh!" She says. "M' almost done here." He paints her pinky. "You're quick with it, babe."

He smirks, "Don't even think about it, you animal." Y/n already knew that he was going to make a dirty joke out of it. "Okay, okay. I won't, but it would've been a good one."

"Thank you, so much Mr. Chris." She looks at her perfectly painted left hand. "You are very welcome." He says, placing the little bottle back on the nightstand. "How can I ever pay you?" Y/n giggles. "You can pay me with lots of face kisses. I want your lipstick marks all over me." He throws himself down on the bed and brings her along. "Chris!" She giggles and starts kissing him all over his face. "I just love you so so much!" He mumbles through a kiss. She gasps. "My nails." She frowns but smiles when she sees Chris' face covered in her lipstick marks."

"Looks like I'll have to repaint it. You can just give me my next payment now." He brings her lips back to his face.

[doomhands-jr]

The Devil's Advocate - Chapter 10

Pairing: Delinquent!Noah Sebastian X Pastor's Daughter!Reader

Summary: Noah is a delinquent with a lot of anger at the church. You're a pastor's daughter plagued by moral perfectionism, charged with overseeing the community service he's been sentenced to complete. You've never encountered true temptation before. How will you fare up against Noah, who not only isn't bound by the same rules of purity as you, but actively scoffs at them?

Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Warnings: Underage drinking, partying, grinding, making out, mentions of roofies, vomiting, blackouts, minor violence.

Masterlist

Thanks to @throughwoodsanddirt for the beta

Thanks to @flowerynerds for the banner! A/N: Sorry about this, guys. I promise I'll do right by these characters. ________

Noah wasn’t going to go to the party. 

No really, he wasn’t going to go. Folio told him to stay home and not come out, and Noah understood that this was the cost of ghosting you. He had no right to keep tabs on you after that abandonment. 

And it wasn’t really that he wanted to keep tabs on you. He had only gone to Jolly’s because he wanted to work on some music in his studio. It honestly wasn’t even to attend the party at all. 

And the only reason he’d come inside was to grab a beer real quick before taking it back to the shed. It wasn’t his fault that he’d been accosted by Matt, who practically begged him to do shots. Plus, he’d scanned the room for any signs of you and Nick just to make sure he wouldn’t run into you. And it was really cold in his studio. So of course he came inside to warm up a bit. He was definitely gonna go back out to his studio.

Any minute now, he’d head back out. 

He took another sip from his beer as he watched you grind on Nick across the house. 

Hood pulled up, hair tucked underneath and sunglasses on so that he wouldn’t be easily recognized—at least if he was sitting down, he sat perched on the arm of the couch, arms crossed over his chest, nursing his beer as Matt told him about the girl he’d hooked up with earlier that week and he only half listened. 

So you had really come out with Folio. 

Didn’t take you very long to get over him, did it?

Noah caught himself in his bitterness and made an effort to let it go. This was his own damn fault, after all. 

Call it morbid curiosity. Call it masochism. Whatever it was, he knew it wasn’t doing him any favors. He shouldn’t be watching this, and by doing so, he was only torturing himself, but it was like witnessing a car crash—he couldn’t look away. 

Nick had his hands on your hips, pressing into the soft flesh of your ass. Noah could see your miniskirt riding up your thighs as you gyrated. He’d never seen you show that much skin. At least not in public. The only time he’d seen more was…

Well, he wasn’t going to think about that. 

Noah dug his nails into the heel of his hand, gritting his teeth together. He breathed in through his nose. Then out through his mouth. In through his nose. Out through his mouth. 

He was fine. He wasn’t going to be bothered by something like this. You deserved to have fun, and Folio was a great guy who would show you a good time without taking advantage of your inexperience. It was something Noah wanted for you. He’d even encouraged Nick to do this. 

At least to a degree. He didn’t expect him to take it so far. It’s not like his friend had been crushing on you for a while. Or perhaps he had, but had backed off after Noah’s feelings became clear. 

Still, Noah hadn’t expected him to really go all-in on the good time he was showing you, especially not after Noah had told him how he felt. 

Maybe he was punishing Noah for ghosting you? But then, that wouldn’t make sense because he didn’t even know Noah was watching. 

So maybe, he reasoned, thinking back to that self-help article he’d read on Psychology Today earlier that week, it didn’t have anything to do with him. 

Maybe you and Nick were just two people enjoying themselves, connecting with one another. 

And for some reason, that thought more than anything else, made his stomach clench unpleasantly. 

He gripped the bottle tighter, bringing it up to his mouth to try to mask the acidic taste that had started to coat his tongue. 

You spun around to face Nick, and from what he could see, Nick dragged a hand down over your sternum and your lips parted, eyes soft. You threw your head back, exposing your beautiful neck, and Noah watched as Nick dipped his head toward it, then seemed to think better of it and backed off. 

It didn’t take much brain power to see Nick’s motives. Really, he couldn’t blame Nick—he, too, wanted to suck on the delicate skin below your jaw, to lick a languid stripe from your collarbone to your earlobe. If he could capture it in his teeth and tug, if he could taste the salt on your skin, if he could feel the heat of your body as you writhed over him to the music and watch your chest rise and fall with exertion. He wanted to hold you down and have you grind on his thigh until you were shaking with overstimulation and–

Oh fuck, were you kissing?! 

You were. 

Nick’s lips glided over yours in a searing kiss. Noah narrowed his eyes, honing in on what was happening. You opened your mouth to him without any hesitation and his tongue darted in to taste you. You smiled into the kiss, hands fisting in Nick’s shirt to pull him in close, while Nick cupped the back of your head. One of his hands traveled lower, grabbing at the round flesh of your ass. 

Fire erupted inside Noah, burning and charring his insides as he watched the two of you in this profane display of lust. He was rooted to the spot, unable to move and thank God because if he could, he would have ripped you out of Nick’s clutches in a heartbeat. 

A firm hand clapped him on the shoulder and Noah tore his eyes away from the offensive scene, looking up to find Ruffilo standing above him. 

“Don’t do that to yourself,” he shouted above the music. 

His hand was steadying, enough that Noah was able to take a few deep breaths and calm down. 

“I need to talk to you. Outside,” he said, voice serious. Noah adjusted his hood to make sure any defining features were covered before standing up and following Ruffilo around the outskirts of the crowd. He kept a slight bend in his knee so that he didn’t stand a full head taller than everyone around him. 

Ruffilo led him to the back porch where Jolly and Bryan waited, arms crossed, and Noah briefly wondered if he was in trouble. 

“Someone found a girl passed out in the bathroom,” said Jolly. “Her friend said she’d only had one drink.” 

Noah blinked a few times, once again realizing that he wasn’t at the center of every conversation and that this was not about him. 

Although hearing Jolly’s words, he would have rather it been about him. 

This was bad. Very bad. 

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” Noah said. 

Jolly nodded. 

Roofies were not a common problem for the kind of crowd they liked to keep at their parties. Most of the time, the drugs were contained to frat houses and bars, if they were present at all—but they had popped up once or twice, and each time, Jolly and the rest had taken the issue very seriously. 

“What do you need?” asked Noah. 

“I’m going to man the doors and vet everyone who leaves. If any girls look like they’re too drunk or incapacitated, they stay here until we find a way to get them home safely,” said Jolly.

“I’ll watch for any signs upstairs,” said Ruffilo. “I doubt it’s any of our regular guys. Probably someone who doesn’t come here often.” 

“That narrows it down,” said Jolly. “Keep an eye out for any girls who seem out of it. Ask questions. See if they can tell you who they were talking to. Ask their friends, too, and keep a close eye on anyone who isn’t our regular crowd.” 

Jolly wore a mean scowl as he spoke, his fists balled up tight. He took pride in creating a safe space for everyone to enjoy, and took it very personally when someone compromised the safety of that space. If Noah knew his friend as well as he thought he did, whoever was responsible for the incident would have to be carried out on a stretcher before the end of the night. 

“I’ll watch the first floor,” Noah volunteered. That way, he could keep an eye on you as well and make sure you were safe.  

“I’ll help,” offered Bryan. 

“Okay,” said Jolly, nodding. “We still need someone to cover the basement.” 

“I’ll tell Matt,” said Ruffilo. 

Jolly took a second to look each man in the eye. “Everyone at this party is getting home safe, except for the guy responsible. Got it?” 

“Got it,” said Noah, the same answer echoing around the back porch from the other men. And with that, each person went to their respective stake out locations. 

Once inside, Noah began scanning the crowd for unfamiliar faces and women who seemed out of sorts. 

There were a few new guys Noah didn’t recognize, and they all seemed to congregate in a group. These men definitely weren’t part of the normal crowd—he could tell by their button-downs they were probably more comfortable at a frat house. He marked them as potential suspects, but made sure not to focus only on them in case he missed something. 

There were a few women that looked drunk, but not to the point where they were incoherent or falling over themselves, which led Noah to believe that the perpetrator hadn’t struck again yet. 

He circled around the room, keeping close to the walls, eyes trained on the crowd. 

“Hey.” Someone clapped him on the shoulder and he turned to see an incredulous-looking Folio. “I thought you were staying home. What gives?” 

Noah sniffed, wrinkling his face in disgust for what was probably a very valid question.. It definitely wasn’t fair of Noah, but then again, Folio had kissed you. “That’s not important. We’ve got trouble.”

Nick’s brows furrowed. “What is it?”  

“Someone might be spiking drinks,” he said slowly, only half-focused because if Nick was here with him, then… 

“Where is….,” he trailed off. 

“She ran into some friends from her World History class,” said Nick. “They’re in the kitchen last I saw.” 

Noah’s heart fell to his stomach, throat tightening uncomfortably. 

“How could you leave her alone?!” he scolded, throwing Nick’s hand off his shoulder. “You were supposed to look after her!” 

Rather than wait for an answer, Noah began frantically searching the party, trying to catch sight of you. 

“She wanted to talk to her friend,” Nick defended, weaving his way through partygoers to catch up. “I didn’t know.” 

But Noah was already halfway across the room after spotting you leaning next to the counter. 

Noah knew he was being too hard on Nick. He’d apologize once he’d made sure you were okay and could calm down, but right now that wasn’t his priority. 

He almost caught up to you. But then he spotted the group you were talking with. Two men he didn’t recognize. He thought better of it and decided to hang back and observe.

You were laughing with the other men. It looked like there was another girl with you as well. Noah wrinkled his nose again. Something about the men had him raising his hackles. 

“Noah,” Nick called, having caught up to him. “I’m sorry, man. I really didn’t—,” 

“—We’ll talk about it later,” Noah cut him off. “Do you see those guys?” he said, nodding over to where you were chatting with the group. “There’s something off.” 

And indeed there was something off. Nick agreed. One of them—a younger guy in a blue baseball cap and a pink collared shirt shifted nervously. It could be because he was talking to a beautiful woman, but Noah continued to eye him suspiciously. . 

Noah and Nick took turns. One watched the four of you chatting, while the other scoured the room for any other potential suspects. 

Unfortunately, it didn’t take long to figure out why the men had Noah on-edge. 

“There!” Nick pointed. Noah turned just in time to see the man’s hand hover over the drink in your friend’s hand. 

For a brief moment, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. The girl brought her drunk up to her lips, and in less than five strides, Noah’s legs had carried him over, hand coming up to take the drink from her on its own accord. 

“Noah!” you said in surprise, but Noah didn’t acknowledge you. 

“You don’t mind if I have a sip of this, do you?” he said. 

The man in question squared his jaw, puffing his chest out, but Noah could smell coward all over him. 

“What the fuck, man?!” the stranger said, “That’s her drink.” 

“Is it?” said Noah, bringing the drink up to hover near his lips. 

Noah’s stare bored a hole into the perpetrator’s face. The guy was plain-looking, the kind you’d find six replicas of at any boat party. He had barely any distinguishing features, save for a soft jaw and a bulbous nose exaggerated by the sneer on his face. He looked rather punchable, in Noah’s opinion. 

“You don’t think this drink is compromised, do you?” Noah continued. 

The fucker at least had the intelligence to stay silent. That was the only thing going for him. 

By that point, the small group of people nearby had stopped whatever they were doing to watch the altercation. 

“Dean, what’s going on?” the girl asked. “What is this guy talking about?” 

“Yeah Dean, what’s going on?” Noah parroted, not taking his eyes off the despicable face in front of him. 

Dean narrowed his eyes. 

“Go on, tell her,” he goaded. His voice held all the vitriol he felt, words coming out laced with poison. He hoped each of them stung. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Dean. It was a pathetic defense, and one Noah was already prepared to counter. 

Noah pouted, face painted with false sympathy. “Are you saying you didn’t slip something into her drink just now?” 

“What?!” said Dean, and he had the nerve to look offended. He didn’t have the acting chops to pull it off though, and there was still an underlying panic in his eyes. “That’s ridiculous. I’d never do something like that.” 

“So drink it,” said Noah, shoving the cup right into the man’s sternum. It splashed over the rim, soaking the pink shirt in the sticky, blue liquid. Dean brought his hand up to catch the cup as Noah let go, scowling. 

“I’m not drinking someone else’s drink,” he said. 

“Why not?” asked Noah. 

“Because I’m not an asshole. I don’t steal other people’s drinks,” he said, growing more heated in his defense. 

It was the wrong thing to say to Noah. 

“Drink it,” Noah seethed, “or I’ll take it and force—,” 

“—Noah?” your soft voice cut through his anger and for a moment, everything stopped. 

He watched it happen in slow motion. You stumbled, nearly falling over onto the kitchen floor and Nick rushed to catch you. He managed to keep your head from hitting, but you sank hard to your knees. 

Noah looked from you to the man in front of him. All the noise from the party got out of the room as if in a vacuum, replaced with a high-pitched ringing. Red washed over his vision. 

A moment later, his fist connected with flesh. 

Then the sound came rushing back. Shouting erupted from all around him. From inside him. 

“You. Mother. Fucker,” he spat, punctuating each word with another blow to the man’s chin. He didn’t remember how they got into that position, but they were on the floor now, Noah straddling his chest with one fist clutching the collar of Dean's shirt, his other cracking repeatedly against his jawbone. Dean’s head snapped back with each blow, ricocheting off the floor with sickening thuds. 

Within seconds, people were on Noah, pulling him off. Noah fought hard, blinded by rage and the all-consuming need to see this man pay for his crimes. 

“Noah!” someone shouted, but he couldn’t tell who. “Noah, stop.” 

Hands gripped his arms, slowing him, but he still managed to get another two blows in before he was lifted off, but not before he dealt a hard knee to the guy’s groin. 

He fought against the arms of his captors, desperately trying to break free so he could have another go, but by that point, it was three against one and he was out of steam. 

“Relax, man. Relax. You got him. He’s down,” someone was saying. He finally recognized one of the voices as Jolly’s. He twisted around to see the faces of Ruffilo and Bryan holding him by the arms and waist to restrict his movements. 

“Let me go,” he commanded, still breathing heavily. The adrenaline coursed through his veins but had ebbed enough that he could feel the first throbs of pain in his hand. 

He looked over to the man, seeing nothing but a bloody pulp for a face. Either he had been knocked out or he was in shock because he wasn’t moving. 

“Noah, listen to me,” Jolly said, moving in front of him to block his vision. “You have to leave. We’re calling the cops. You can’t be here when they arrive.” 

Noah struggled once more against Ruffilo and Bryan, but it was useless. 

“You have a record,” Jolly continued. “You and Folio have to go. They can’t know you were involved.” 

Still breathing hard, he looked around. For what? He didn’t know. 

“Take Folio and get out of here. Go home. If anyone asks, you were asleep. We’ll vouch for you.” 

It took a few minutes for the reality of the situation to sink in. Noah already had a record. If he was caught at the scene, he could be charged with aggravated assault and end up doing time. His word against some frat guy, probably with a rich father who could afford a lawyer. 

Noah nodded. “I’m good. You can let me go.” 

Jolly stared hard into Noah’s eyes, undoubtedly looking for any sign of incoherence before nodding at Ruffilo and Bryan, who released him. 

He glanced over to Nick, who propped you up with his arms underneath yours. The two locked eyes for a moment, and then Noah sighed, slinging an arm around your waist. 

“Let’s get her home.” 

Together, they carried you out of the door and down the front steps. Inside, they could hear a commotion building. Jolly was surely informing guests that the police were being called, and that anyone underage needed to leave. They were probably also checking to make sure nobody else was in danger. 

“Do you know where her dorm is?” Noah asked Nick, struggling to keep you upright. Every few moments, you would come to. You’d mutter something incoherent, or pause to vomit along the sidewalk, and then go back into a catatonic state. 

“Rose Hall,” said Nick, and Noah tried not to let himself be bothered that Folio knew that detail before he did. 

“Where are her keys?” he asked, stopping to see if you had them clipped to you anywhere. None of your clothes had pockets to search. 

“I think she had a purse with her. She probably left it back at Jolly’s,” answered Nick. 

“Shit,” said Noah, chewing on his lip. “Does she have a roommate we could call?” 

“I think so, but she said her roommate went home for Christmas break already,” Nick answered, looking more and more guilty the farther they got from Jolly’s. Noah wondered if he was feeling guilty for letting you out of his sight.

“Noah, I’m really sorry,” he said, confirming Noah’s suspicions. “I never meant to put her in danger. I just didn’t want to hover all night in case she wanted some independence. I never even considered someone would be drugging people.” 

“Don’t apologize to me,” said Noah, shifting your weight on him so that your arm was over his shoulder and he could grip you by the waist. His voice came out colder than he wanted. “Tell her.” 

“I will,” said Nick. “As soon as she’s awake tomorrow, I’ll tell her.” 

The difference in height between Nick, Noah, and you made it all the more difficult to carry you, and the two of them struggled to get you down the street. 

“Let’s take her to our place,” said Noah. “She can have my bed.” 

Nick look like he wanted to protest, but thought better of it when you raised your head and vomited down the front of your shirt. Your feet dragged on the ground behind you as Nick and Noah trudged the few blocks it took to get back to their place. Noah prayed nobody would see them and think they were up to no good. 

Once they’d successfully gotten you inside, they took you to the bathroom to clean you up. Noah tenderly wiped your face and neck with a wet washcloth, careful not to rub too hard with the rough surface. 

Nick propped you up on his lap while Noah tilted your head backwards over the edge of the tub so he could run cups full of water over your hair and rinse out some of the vomit that had caught in the strands. 

You woke up again midway through, and they had just enough time to turn you back over so you could vomit once more into the bathtub. After a while, it was just dry heaving, and Noah surmised that the contents of your stomach had finally been emptied and you had nothing left to vomit up. 

“We gotta get her changed,” said Nick. 

Noah was aware. He’d been putting it off because he knew he’d have to remove your clothes, and the last thing he wanted was for you to be violated any more than you’d already been. 

“I’ll do it,” Noah volunteered. 

“Why you?” asked Nick. Apparently something about the idea triggered his discomfort. 

“Because I’ve…,” he began, “…seen her. Already.” 

Nick’s eyes went wide. “You,” he began, but then restarted. “She let you…and then you ghosted?” 

Noah exhaled heavily through his nostrils. If Nick wanted to have this talk, he wasn’t going to shy away from it. 

“Say what you have to say.” 

Nick’s jaw muscle twitched. “You treated her like shit,” he said. “You used her. I don’t like the idea of you seeing her like that.” 

Noah nodded. “I know. But if it comes between someone who’s already seen everything and someone who hasn’t, I feel like this is less of a violation.” 

“I don’t like it,” said Nick, shaking his head.  

Noah threw his hands out to his sides in frustration. “I don’t like it either, Nick. I don’t like any of this, but the girl needs to be taken care of, okay? She’s been through a lot. Both of us broke her trust,” Nick winced at that, “and the best we can do now is get her in bed, safely, without doing any more damage. I doubt she’d want someone else seeing her body, so this is the best solution I have.” 

Nick let out a forceful, frustrated sigh, crossing his arms and working his jaw. “Don’t look any more than you have to.” 

Noah scoffed. “What kind of person do you take me for?”  

Nick shrugged, but didn’t say anything, so Noah carried you off to his room and sat you down on the floor. 

He found the biggest, softest t-shirt of his that he could find and brought it over, crouching down at your side. 

Gently, he lifted the hem of your shirt, catching sight of the  band logo. He’d laugh if the situation weren’t so heavy. There was no way this was your shirt. He knew for a fact you’d never listen to a band like Norma Jean. 

Noah tried to avert his eyes as much as possible while he slipped the soiled shirt off your body and replaced it with the fresh one. He did catch a glance though, and was immediately brought back to that night the other week during the video chat, when you’d trusted him with your body, right before he broke that trust. He’d give anything to have had this second glimpse be under better circumstances. 

Next, he removed your skirt, which had also gotten vomit on it, and was grateful to find that you were wearing shorts underneath so he didn’t have to worry about covering you up. 

Then he got to work unlacing your boots and sliding them off your feet, and for a second, he was reminded of an old parable he’d heard before leaving the church. He couldn’t remember the details of the story, but it was something about a woman washing Jesus’s feet with her hair? Something like that. And then Jesus returned the favor by washing her feet. And it was a weird story, but the takeaway, or at least what he took away from it, was that there was a sort of holiness in humble servitude. 

He felt that now, as he picked your limp body up and tucked you neatly into his bed. He only wished there was more he could do.  ________

Nick knocked softly at his door, padding in before waiting for an answer. Noah was seated on the floor, slumped against the side of the bed. He must have dozed off. 

“Thought you could use this,” Nick said, placing an empty bucket beside the bed. “And this.” He set a tall glass of water and a bottle of acetaminophen on the nightstand before sitting on the floor opposite Noah. 

They sat in uncomfortable silence for several minutes before Nick finally broke it. 

“So,” he began. “You came to the party after all.” 

Noah knew this was coming. He didn’t have the skills to articulate a good answer though, so he just nodded. 

“After I specifically asked you to stay home.” 

Noah nodded again. 

“And you had agreed to stay home.” 

Noah nodded a third time. 

“Why?” he asked. 

Noah chewed on his lip, looking over to regard the softness of your sleeping form. You looked peaceful, despite the ordeal you’d just been through. 

“You know why,” he said, lowly. It wasn’t meant to sound aggressive. Just honest. 

Nick sighed, fixing Noah with a hard stare. He kept his voice low so as to not wake you. Not that you were in any danger of remembering anything that happened. 

“Did you see us?” Nick asked. His expression was guarded. Noah couldn’t get a read on him. 

“Yes,” he said, keeping his tone steady. He was angry, and he knew that, but he didn’t want it to come across to Nick. 

“And?” he said. 

“And what?” said Noah, failing to keep his tone level. “You’re both single. You may as well hook up.” 

“We didn’t hook up,” said Nick. “I was never going to sleep with her. I just wanted to show her a good time.” 

Noah rolled his eyes. “Sure.” 

“Noah, this was your idea. You told me to spend time with her. Said I’d be a good influence,” Nick said, exasperation for his friend creeping into his voice. “I don’t know what you want from me.” 

Noah sighed, leaning back and knocking his head gently against his nightstand. He stared up at the ceiling, as if it held the answers he was looking for.  “You didn’t have to kiss her.” 

Noah could practically hear the eye-roll from Nick. 

“If I didn’t, someone else would have,” he argued. “There’s no way to keep her sheltered while you figure out what it is you want. And even if there was, what would that make you? Just another man trying to control her.” 

Noah scoffed, hating what Nick was insinuating, but not having a solid argument against it. 

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to kiss her.” 

Nick scrubbed a palm over his face in frustration. “Look Noah,” he began. “I respected you when you started getting close to her. I kept my distance. I even stayed out of your way during community service so you could get to know her. But then you bailed, and she needed someone to lean on. She’s going through a lot with this church shit.” 

Noah’s stomach turned, guilt seeping into his bloodstream. He tried not to focus on it, chewing on the inside of his cheek while Nick continued. 

“This girl has been sheltered her entire life. She’s only just now starting to explore. I’ve seen girls like her get in over their heads way too quickly because they’ve been repressed for so long, and asshole swoops in to take advantage of it. Then they get their first taste of freedom and lose themselves like that,” Nick said, snapping his fingers for effect. 

“You’ve been that guy, though,” said Noah. “We both have.” 

Nick paused, deflating for a moment as he reflected. He closed his eyes. “I know. I’m not proud of it.” He looked back at Noah. “But I’m trying to do better. That kiss was not about me trying to exploit a weakness.” 

“Then what was it?” spat Noah, knowing Nick’s words made sense but still not wanting to believe them. He wanted to be angry with Nick. It was so much easier than the alternative, which was to consider the role he played in his own suffering. 

“She’s exploring her sexuality. I wanted to be a safe person for her to do that with.” 

“Jesus,” whined Noah, slumping back against the nightstand. “Do you have to come after me like that?” 

They both knew what Noah meant: you’d already tried exploring your sexuality with Noah, and they both saw how well he’d handled that. 

Noah refocused on the guilt that had been coursing through him, allowing it to slowly settle into a quiet humility. He really had been the asshole in the scenario without even meaning to be. Not just to you, but to Nick as well. 

“I feel like I owe you an apology,” he admitted. “I didn’t trust that you were taking care of her.” 

Nick raised a gentle palm. “No need. I didn’t give you many reasons to trust.” 

“Still,” Noah said. “I’m gonna try to keep my cool more.”  

The corner of Nick’s mouth lifted into a polite, yet disbelieving smirk. “If you say so,” he said., then refocused his attention on Noah’s face. 

“What do you want moving forward?” he asked. 

Noah shrugged. 

“I don’t know.”  

“Are you sure?” implored Nick. 

Noah looked back at his friend, his last remaining defenses crumbling under Nick’s steady gaze. “I don’t know what I want. From you. From her. From myself,” he said. “And you’re right. I asked you to show her a good time. I shouldn’t get mad at you for doing exactly that. I’m just…,” he trailed off. 

“Confused?” Nick offered. 

“Confused,” he affirmed, hanging his head and staring at his shoes. 

“It’s okay to have feelings for her,” Nick said hesitantly, as if he were trying to coax a feral cat from its hiding space without spooking it. 

Noah looked back up to find Nick eyeing him with sympathy, and his gut seized uncomfortably because it felt gross, like a slime coating his skin. He tried to breathe through the feeling instead of running from it, thinking back to a quote he read in one of the many self-help articles he’d been scouring over the past week. 

Let the light in. That’s how the light gets in. 

Noah was not good at letting the light in. He much preferred to keep himself in the dark. Every time someone offered to meet a need of his or show him love in a way that he didn’t anticipate or wasn’t prepared for, he rejected it. Either brushed it off with humor or outright ignored it. 

He walked through life with a chip on his shoulder, feeling sorry for himself because he’s never known love. Truth is, he could have known love. He’s had many opportunities to know love, but he constantly rejected it whenever it was offered, because anger and bitterness felt safer. More familiar.

He thought back to the times in his life where he’d wanted love. He pictured his nine-year-old self, crying alone in his room and wanting nothing more than to be comforted by parents who instead yelled at him for his emotional outbursts. 

What would have happened if that nine-year-old had just been hugged? Would the trajectory of his life have changed? Would he be more capable of holding a relationship? More receptive to love? 

He nearly choked. That was a can of worms he wasn’t sure he wanted to go near. Opening himself to love would mean opening himself up to processing that pain, and that scared him. 

He exhaled a deep breath, running his fingers over the fibers of the shaggy white carpet that covered the floor of his bedroom. 

Running from it, however, was holding him back. He knew it. His friends had noticed, and had long grown tired of that behavior pattern. He’d had opportunities to heal before and had refused, choosing instead to stay closed off, and he could tell his support system was running low on patience.

If he was ever going to grow into the man he wanted to be—the man you deserved, it started with choosing to let the light in, regardless of how uncomfortable it was. 

Nick’s sympathy turned Noah’s stomach sour. His over-inflated ego observed it as pity he neither needed, nor cared to indulge. His knee-jerk reaction was to object and disregard it, too proud to have needs. But as much discomfort as it caused, he begrudgingly allowed himself to receive what his friend was trying to offer. 

The light wouldn’t get in on its own. He had to choose to let it in, and that required effort. 

“I do have feelings for her,” he acknowledged. “I don’t know why that’s so hard for me to admit. And I don’t know why I’ve been acting this way.” 

Nick sighed, visibly relaxing now that Noah had accepted his offering, and Noah sighed as well. The icky, slimy feeling he’d registered at the first sign of Nick’s sympathy slowly started to melt into something warmer and more comforting. His nervous system finally started to pull back from the edge it had been operating on for who knows how long. 

“That’s okay,” Nick said, cracking a grin. “Feelings are hard to navigate. They cause people to act like idiots sometimes.” 

“No kidding,” Noah agreed, mirroring Nick’s smile. 

It felt good and humbling to finally admit. Noah could use a bit of humbling. Over the years, his biggest defense mechanism had become his pride. It had grown out of control, looking down on people who asked to get their needs met—dismissing them as weak and pitiful for not being able to make it on their own the way Noah had. 

He shook his head, chuckling bitterly to himself. 

“What are you laughing at?” whispered Nick. The hour had grown late and Noah was tired, but he was enjoying Nick’s company. 

“I’ve been such an idiot,” he said, looking back up at Nick. “How have you been able to live with me all this time?” 

Nick shrugged, grinning at his friend. “It’s not easy. But you’re not all bad. You just need some sense knocked into ya’.” 

“You guys are way more patient than I’ve given you credit for,” he said, feeling gratitude for his friends.

Nick snorted, quickly covering his mouth and nose to not wake you up. “I could get used to this Noah,” he said. “It’s a nice change.” 

“Don’t get too excited,” said Noah. “I’m still an asshole at heart.” 

Nick chuckled, standing to wipe off his pants and grabbing the pile of your vomit-ridden clothes. “It stinks in here. I’m gonna throw these in the wash and then head to bed. You got this?” he asked. 

Noah nodded. “I can take it from here.” 

Nick fixed him with one last serious look. “Be good to her. She’s one of the better ones, and for some fuckin’ reason, she seems to like you.” 

Noah laughed softly. “Turn the light off when you leave.” 

Nick did, and Noah sat in the dark, mulling over the events that had taken place that night. He’d have to have a very difficult conversation with you when you woke up, and he was not looking forward to that. 

What he was looking forward to, however, was an opportunity to repair some of the damage he’d done. 

Hopefully you’d let him.  ___________ All rights reserved to @doomhands-jr, 2024. Do not copy, repost or translate. A/N: I'm so sorry! I will give MC the ending she deserves, don't worry! She'll have her day in the sun. She's just gotta get through some stuff first.

Next chapter is almost finished. Will be up soon.

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[angelic-sturniolos111]

The Right Words 🧸

Chris begins to question his opinions on commitment and relationships after being close friends with you for months. Chris’s feelings for you have grown stronger, but he can’t quite articulate his affection for you. Instead of using his words he makes a romantic gesture to show you how he feels.

chris sturniolo x fem! reader

warnings: none, just chris being super shy and fluffy

author’s note: kinda inspired by stuff he’s said ab relationships and how “too much love” kinda scares/intimidates him

not proofread lmao

Chris’s POV:

Matt had invited Y/N to come hang at our house while we record our podcast episode for the week. It wasn’t unusual for Y/N to always be around, she was our friend, but I hadn’t opened up to my brothers about how I truly feel about her.

She moved to LA a few months back and we all met her at some influencer party, and she hit it off with us immediately. First, it started with the four of us going out to record content, going bowling, thrifting, things like that. Eventually, we all grew closer with her and she started hanging out at our house a lot more, and often sleeping over. The first time she had slept over was after Nick and Matt had already gone to bed, and since she didn’t want to wake them she slept in my room with me. After that night I guess my room became the unofficial-Y/N-sleepover room because she has always spelt in my room every time since.

I immediately found Y/N attractive when we met— she’s a very pretty girl. I’ve always had closer girl friends in my circle, and even if I think any of them are pretty, my feelings never go beyond that— it’s always platonic. I know part of that is because they just weren’t the right girl for me, but another part of me knows it’s because I don’t let myself sit in those feelings. I’m scared of commitment, relationships, things of that sort. Sure I’ve hooked up with a few girls in my day, but I’ve never had any serious romantic feelings for anyone.

Until Y/N.

That first night she slept in my room we stayed up for hours talking about everything from our favorite hockey teams to deeper emotional stuff. That became our routine when she would sleepover… always the last ones awake, and always having long in-depth conversations with one another. What started off as friendly, platonic feelings for her quickly changed after many nights spent late night talking.

As much as I loved our late night talks I honestly wanted more. I wanted early morning talks, afternoon talks, and to just be with her every second of every day. I wanted to hold her, spoil her, kiss her, and call her mine. I thought I would never feel this way about anyone before, but she makes me feel things I’ve never felt— she’s everything to me.

I recently came to the conclusion that keeping these feelings buried was starting to drive me insane, and I had to open up to someone about it.

Matt and I were currently getting in his car on the way to pick up Y/N. Before Matt put the car in drive, I spoke up;

“Hey, can I talk to you about something that’s been on my mind a lot lately? I just really need someone to talk to about it.” I say sheepishly. Matt’s eyes leave his phone to meet mine, and he instantly put his phone down giving me his full attention.

“Yeah bro of course. You can tell me anything. What’s up?” He says concerned because usually this is the other way around. Matt opening up to me about his issues. It was rare that I ever had anything on my end to discuss.

“Well it’s just,” I pause, hesitating if I should even continue. Matt puts a hand on my shoulder comforting me enough to move on.

“I have serious, and I mean serious feelings for Y/N.”

I’m not sure what I was expecting in response, but it wasn’t this…

He started laughing. LAUGHING. In my fucking face.

“Okay why are you laughing? Is something funny about any of this?” I say now a little pissed off that he wasn’t taking this seriously.

“Oh man, no no I’m sorry I’m not trying to be rude. It’s just… SO obvious.” He says and continues to laugh.

“WHAT?! IS IT REALLY?” I yell. Oh god, I hope Y/N doesn’t know and I’m not making a complete ass out of myself.

“Yes! Nick and I talk about it all the time. You may not realize it but you NEVER stop talking about her. “Y/N said this funny thing last night,” “Y/N really likes this movie,” “You know one time Y/N” Y/N Y/N Y/N. I swear every god damn sentence you utter her name leaves your mouth.” Matt mocks, but before I can interject he continues;

“Jesus not to mention the way you stare her down whenever she’s in the room. Nick and I are always laughing about it— like when he’s editing our videos and we can see that you looking at her constantly whenever she steps behind the camera? Or when we went to the beach that one time!? You saw Y/N in a bikini for the first time, and we saw you grab the towel to cover your lap because—”

“Okay OKAY! Alright, I get it! I’m not as good as hiding my feelings for her as I thought…” I cut him off before he can continue to blabber about it any more. Matt comes down from his laughing fit.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be mean. My point is is that we’ve never seen you like this with anyone before, and it’s really sweet.” Matt rests his hand on my arm reassuringly. “Well, we told her we were on our way to pick her up. If you want to I can text Nick and we can come up with some sort of excuse to leave so you guys can have some alone time together and maybe you’ll be able to talk with her about it?” He suggests.

“Yeah… it’s the talking that I’m scared of.” I look down and play with my hands in my lap. “That’s the problem. Like you said, I’ve never been like this with anyone before, and I don’t know how to put my feelings into words. If you haven’t noticed I’m not necessarily the most romantic person ever.” I say with a sigh.

Matt looks around the car seeing if anything might give him an idea. He sees the gummy worms in the center console from the last time we filmed a car video and picks them up to show me.

“Okay, candy? What about candy?” He says as if he just made some sort of scientific breakthrough.

“Kid, what the fuck are you talking about? Candy?” I laugh, completely confused.

“Yeah! We can swing by the store and you can get her her favorite candies and snacks, and you guys can watch a cute movie together or something? If you can’t tell her how you feel maybe you can show her through your actions.”

I thought about it for a second, and it honestly wasn’t a bad idea. I knew her favorite candy, snacks, movies, all that stuff. I know she loves comfy blankets for movie time. She also complains about not having a stuffed animal for her to cuddle when she sleeps over, and she usually steals one of Matt’s. All these thoughts came flooding into my head at once, and suddenly I had the best idea.

“Okay, I got it!. We’re going to need to stop at the store before we get her. You and Nick distract her when we get back to our place, and then find some excuse to leave. I have the perfect plan.” I say excitedly.

An enormous smile grows on Matt’s face. He clicks his seatbelt, and before he can back the car out of the driveway we see Nick striding out the door to the car. Matt rolls his window down.

“What the fuck are you two still doing in the driveway? I thought you were getting Y/N?” Nick says.

“Bro get in the car you’re coming with us we’ve gotta update you on Chris’s love affair!” Matt says jokingly making me laugh. Nick just rolls his eyes, and climbs in the backseat.

***

Y/N’s POV:

Chris had given me a call earlier to tell me that their manager, Laura, needed Nick and Matt for something at her house tonight so it would just be the two of us. She had apparently given them a call on their way out to pick me up so they were running late. Honestly, I was a little nervous that Chris and I would have the house to ourselves. I was always comfortable being alone with him in his room, and I’ve always hoping he’d take one of these nights to make a move. In my head I tried to convince myself he hasn’t made a move yet because his brothers were always home— worried they’d barge in and interrupt or something. I’ve had a HUGE crush on Chris, and I wasn’t super hopeful that he felt the same way because he’s never been a relationship type of guy. Plus, he always has girl friends, and I’m worried I probably just fall under the friend category in his eyes.

Finally, I see headlights shine through my front window and look to see Matt’s car in the driveway. I grab my purse and head out the door and open the car door to climb in the backseat. I was surprised to be met with Chris in the backseat, and Nick in the front with Matt.

“Fancy seeing you in the back. You’re never back here.” I say getting in my seat and clicking the seatbelt.

“Umm yeah, I— um.” Chris starts before Nick cuts him off.

“He was taking too long in the store so I hopped in the front.” I see Chris raise his eyebrows slightly at Nick, giving him a weird look.

“I didn’t know you guys went out. What were you getting?” I ask.

“Um just toiletries and stuff. Needed some, uh, shampoo.” Chris says shrugging his shoulders and breaking out eye contact. He seemed tense, but I brushed it off.

***

We pull into the driveway and I get out of the car making my way over to the trunk. The three boys get out and stand awkwardly behind the car with me.

“Did you want help bringing the stuff in?” I say and there was silence as the boys just awkwardly stared at each other, and then at me. “…From the store?” I continue.

“Oh no Chris’s got it. Matt and I wanna show you the updates we made to the podcast studio, come on!” Nick says grabbing my arm and leading me up the driveway to their front door leaving Chris behind to get stuff out of the trunk.

Matt, Nick, and I go inside and they immediately go upstairs to their studio, and I stop to hesitate at the bottom of the stairs.

“Should we wait for Chris?” I say. Matt turns around to look at me, and then shoots a glance to Nick.

“No he’s slow as fuck. Come on!” Nick yells. I laugh and make my way upstairs.

Matt and Nick start showing me decor and stuff around the studio. It honestly wasn’t anything that I haven’t already seen before, but I kept my mouth shut because it seemed very important for them to show me again. As they blabber on I see Chris run swiftly past the door, carrying a bunch of shopping bags, and going into his bedroom slamming the door. I became even more suspicious to his weird behavior.

Matt and Nick went on to me about the podcast episodes they were planning to film, but I was barely even listening since my thoughts were elsewhere. I’m snapped out of my daydreaming when Chris comes in and stands in the doorway.

“Okaaaay! You guys have to go to Laura’s, yeah?” Chris asks his brothers.

“Yes! Yes we do. Matt let’s get going!” Nick says to Matt and they eagerly start walking out of the room. Matt turns back and gives me a smile, “Have fun!” He says. Matt then gives Chris a pat on the shoulder before him and Nick make their way downstairs and out the door.

Why the hell were they all acting so weird?

I take a step towards Chris as he remains blocking the doorway.

“So, what do you wanna do?” I question, and a smirk creeps up on his face.

“I actually have a special movie night planned for us.” He says with that sweet smile of his I love so much.

“What makes it special?” I ask. He grabs my hand, making my breath hitch in my throat slightly at our touch. He leads me to his bedroom. Was this it? Was he making his move? I didn’t necessarily think he’d be so bold as to bed me right away, but I also wasn’t complaining. I thought to myself before he proves me wrong. He opens his bedroom door and leads me inside, and I smile big once I see what he’s done.

His bed is full of pillows from both his room and the spare bedroom, and they’re covered in a huge blanket. There’s another sherpa blanket on the bed with a cute teddy bear on my side where I usually sleep. On his nightstand is a bowl of popcorn, and bags of my favorite candies. He had turned his ceiling lights off and had fairy lights draped over his headboard illuminating the room. Also lighting the room was his TV which had one of my favorite Disney movies cued up ready to watch.

Chris steps back as I walk around the room taking it all on.

“Chris! This is so sweet!” I gawk as I jump into his bed and wrap myself in the softest blanket and he follows suit. We lay in his bed together in silence for a moment before he grabs the teddy bear and handing it to me with a smile. I take the bear from his hands and wrap it tight in my arms.

Chris’s POV:

“Chris, what’s all this for?” Y/N asks looking at me with her beautiful eyes.

I knew that she’d ask why I went all out. I had ran a couple scenarios of her possible questions in my head, and embarrassingly enough I may or may not have practiced what I was going to say with Nick in the car earlier…

“Well, it’s for you.” Duh? Chris I think that’s kinda obvious you dumb fuck. I don’t think any amount of practicing could’ve prepared me to face the prettiest, sweetest girl I’ve ever met in my life. I could feel my heart beating faster with each passing moment. She smiles, her eyes softening, and she scootches closer to me.

“You did all this for me? Why?” She asks sweetly. I knew she’d love the surprise, but also knew she’d be confused.

I really tried my best to prepare for this talk, but I was still so nervous. I didn’t know what to say.

I take a deep inhale before starting the conversation.

“I— I did this for you because I wanted to. Well I mean obviously I wanted to or else I wouldn’t have done this. What I mean is I want to show you what I think of you. Or, I mean, how I feel… and I— ugh.” I sigh and burry my face in my hands now completely embarrassed from my nervous rambling. “I don’t know how to use my words.” I mumble into my hands.

I feel a soft, gentle hand on mine pulling it slowly from my face, and I’m met with Y/N as her eyes lock on mine. When my hands are back down in my lap she reaches her hand up to gently cup my cheek, not breaking eye contact. Her eyes flicker from mine down to my lips, and back up to mine before speaking;

“Then don’t use your words…”

I bring my hand up to lay on top of hers cupping my cheek, and I lean in to her touch. I bring my other hand gently to the nape of her neck and pull her closer. Her face is mere inches away from mine. Our eyes breaking contact and moving to our lips. She slowly closes her eyes, and I pull her in fully and plant my lips on hers.

Her lips were soft. Sweet, even. They molded perfectly with mine as we kiss. The kiss is gentle and eager at the same time. I’ve only ever dreamed of this moment, and I can’t believe it’s finally happening.

We pull away from our kiss, our foreheads still touching. I open my eyes first to look at her, and when she opens hers a sweet smile creeps on her lips making me laugh softly.

“Hi.” I say in a whisper.

“Hi Chris.”

“I really like you, Y/N.”

“I really like you too.”

She pulls me in, this time with more force, and plants a passionate kiss on my lips.

We continue to kiss for a moment before I pull back.

“Will you be my girl?” I ask.

She smiles, nodding her head feverishly before bringing her lips back to mine and throwing her hands around my neck.

I’m in heaven.

**********

I honestly didn’t know how to end this and I’m kinda cringing but oh well.

Happy Thanksgiving y’all! 🦃

— Kay 🖤

[sitkowski]

sweet surrender (nick folio x oc)

pairing: nick folio x harper (oc)

cw: 18+ MDNI ⚠️ fake dating, kinda crappy parents, vaginal fingering. doing things on a motorcycle that probably aren't realistically possible.

word count: 3.8k

author's note: this one wasn't originally started with the intention of being posted around the birthday boy's day, but here we are. i've seen enough rom-coms and hallmark movies to know anything is possible. title comes from the song by sarah mclachlan 🫶🏻 dividers by @saradika-graphics

⇉ masterpost || taglist signups

Harper’s flip flops smack noisily against the asphalt as she hurries across the parking lot. She’s already seventeen minutes late, and her mother doesn’t like to be kept waiting. The second her hand is on the handle to the restaurant door, her phone pings loudly in her purse for the fourth time since she left work. She didn’t even think of trying to go home and change, knowing that it would only delay the inevitable more.

Inside the quaint little bar and grill, Harper’s mother sits in the back at a small table, disappointment evident on her face as she approaches the table. There were many things that she considered hell, and lunch with her mother was one of them. But she knew if she didn’t go, she’d just keep bugging her until her sister’s wedding. And somewhere between work and arriving at the restaurant, Harper came up with a possibly insane plan.

“Hi mom,” she sinks down in the chair across from her and grabs a menu. “Sorry I’m late. I had to wait for someone to relieve me at the bar—”

“I already ordered you a sweet tea. I know it’s your favorite.”

Harper tries her very best not to seem shocked at that, because she knows there’s probably an ulterior motive behind it. “Um, thanks.”

“Look, I know I’m a broken record here,” her mother begins, and there it is. “But I wish you weren’t coming to this wedding alone. You’re the last of my children without a partner, don’t you feel like the odd person out?”

It takes everything Harper has not to get up and leave right then and there. She tells herself that her mom is only looking out for her, that she just wants her to be happy. But somehow, she’s always equated happiness with finding someone, having a boyfriend. Being the youngest of four, and right now the only single child, she’s heard it all so much over the years, and it’s one of the reasons why she’s kept any relationships she’s had to herself until they got serious. Which, of course, hadn’t happened in a long time.

“I have a date for the wedding.” she blurts out instead. Harper is a liar. She has nothing remotely close to a date, but she sees the way her mother’s eyes light up, and she raises her hand before she can immediately start drilling her with questions about this nonexistent date. “It’s still very new, but he’s nice. And I’ll let you meet him before the wedding, at the final rehearsal. But for now, can we just keep this between us?”

“Oh absolutely, of course!” her mom says. But Harper knows, her mom is a liar too, and the entire family will know before the end of the day. “I’m just happy you found someone, I know you’ve got to be lonely in that house all by yourself.”

Harper opens her mouth to say something else, but the waitress arrives with their drinks and to take their orders. She’s never been so grateful for the distraction. Her mother even changes the subject before their food arrives. But now all Harper can think about is the fact that she has to convince her neighbor to be her plus one to a wedding.

It’s either a coincidence or a twisted act of fate that Harper’s neighbor is outside working on his bike when she pulls into her driveway. She and Nick aren’t exactly close friends; they’re friendly with one another, she grabs any mail that comes while he’s on tour for him and makes sure his three plants don’t die. He asks her about her day if they catch each other outside at the same time, and once they shared a few beers on his porch after she accidentally locked herself out. She baked him cookies.

And now she’s got to ask him this huge favor.

She knows she could get out of this with her mom, admit she lied or say this mystery guy broke up with her. But as she gets out of her car and looks over at Nick in his driveway, wearing a fitted black tank top and his hands stained with grease, she realizes she wants to prove a point. Her shutting the car door seems to grab his attention, and he turns to wave at her. She lifts her hand in return before taking a deep breath and walking across the section of grass that separates their houses.

“Is something wrong with your bike?” she asks by way of greeting.

Nick shakes his head, wiping his hands off on a rag from his back pocket. “Nah, I just like doing everything on it myself. I’ve got the free time right now.”

“No big tours coming up?”

“Not for a few weeks,” he shoves the rag back into his pocket and pushes his hair back out of his face. “It’s hot out, you want a drink?”

“As long as it’s alcoholic, please.”

She follows him up to his porch and he disappears inside. Harper sits in on the porch swing, picking nervously at her chipped nail polish. The worst that can happen is he can say no, that’s what she tells herself. She waits for Nick to come back, holding out a glass to her. Her eyebrows raise because instead of beer, he brings her whiskey.

“You look like you could use it,” he admits, before sitting beside her. The last time they did this, it was just two beers sitting on the porch steps so she could keep an eye out for the locksmith. It’s not lost on her that this is the closest she’s been to him before. “Everything okay?”

“Just…lunch with my mom. My sister’s wedding is coming up and she’s being extra…extra.”

“She’s stressing you out?”

“More like she won’t stop asking me who I’m bringing to the wedding as a plus one,” Harper takes a sip of the whiskey and rubs her forehead. “I kind of…told her I had a date, when I didn't.”

Nick winces sympathetically, “Ouch.”

She nods in agreement before taking a deep breath and looking over at him. “So I have this stupidly huge favor to ask, and I know you’re probably busy with your band even though you said you have a break, or maybe you just wanna be left alone in which case I will finish this drink and go, but do you maybe wanna pretend to be my date to this wedding?”

She knows that she’s babbling, and she sees the way his eyes widen a little at her question. He’s quiet though, for a lot longer than she thought he’d be, and she fully expects him to let her down gently when he speaks.

“Yeah, sure.”

“I totally get it, we don’t even know each other all that well so if you don’t want to I’ll find someone who—”

“Harper, stop!” he laughs a little, reaching over to put a hand on her knee to cut off her second round of anxious speaking. She blinks and looks down at his hand and then back at his face. “I said I would. I’ll be your fake boyfriend.”

She doesn’t mean to let out a little squeak and throw her arms around his neck, but she can’t help it. She lets go quickly, her face on fire. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, but thank you—”

“Hey it’s no problem, she’s obviously driving you a little insane and I don’t mind helping. I wasn’t kidding when I said I’ve got a few weeks off.”

“It’s seriously just two days, the final rehearsal dinner and then the wedding and reception,” she explains and he nods along. “Do you…do you own a suit?”

She doesn’t mean it in an insulting way, but she’s only ever seen him in t-shirts and jeans, and his riding leathers. That was a distracting enough image, and she quickly banishes it from her mind.

Nick doesn’t seem offended. “I can clean up when I need to. Unless you want to traumatize your mother in which case I am fully prepared to take you to this thing on my bike and make myself her worst nightmare. I’m flexible.”

Harper downs the rest of her whiskey, letting it burn all the way down her throat so that the flush that comes across her cheeks can be blamed on something else.

“Just a nice dress shirt will work,” she pauses and thinks about it. “And yeah, maybe your bike.”

She imagines her mother’s face when she shows up to the rehearsal on the back of Nick’s bike. It wouldn’t be so much the motorcycle itself, but Harper on the back of it in a dress. If this is going to be the way that she’s going to get her off of her back about dating, so be it.

“So, if we’re pretending to date, should I have a cover story?” Nick asks.

Harper hadn’t thought about that. Her mom was nosy, she was going to want every little detail of how she and Nick met, how long they’d been together, what their plans for the future would be. Even if it was just two days, she has to have some kind of details besides him having a motorcycle and being in a band. 

I mean,” he seems to be able to tell that she’s struggling with what to say. “We kind of already have our story, don’t we?”

“We do?” she doesn’t let herself get stuck on how that sounds. Our story.

“We’re neighbors who became friends, you came over and had a few beers when you got locked out of your place and it just…took off from there?”

It sounds so easy, and it’s not even a lie. She nods. “Yeah, that works.”

“So when is this thing? That way I’ve got time to get my bike nice and shiny.”

The day of the final rehearsal approaches quickly. Harper spends most of the morning out with her sisters, getting pampered for the day. They ask her questions about her mystery guy, and she gives them vague but believable answers. When Nick agreed to do this for her, he also gave her a little bit of a rundown on himself in case of situations just like this. She almost wondered if he’d had to be a fake boyfriend before.

When she goes home, she puts on the green floral dress she bought for the day, and even though she knows it’s not exactly practical for the back of a motorcycle, she likes how it looks. She’s doing the finishing touches on her makeup when there’s a knock on the front door. Feeling oddly nervous, Harper goes to answer it. 

Nick wasn’t lying when he said he could clean up when he needed to and he took her words to heart; the black dress shirt he’s wearing beneath his leather jacket looks really good on him. They’re kind of just standing there, staring at each other for a few minutes.

“You look gorgeous,” Nick says, and Harper blushes. His eyes drift down, and the corner of his mouth tilts up. “And while those shoes are very pretty, they’re not safe for the bike. Do you have any flats you can wear?”

Harper slips back into the house and grabs a pair from her hall closet, switching them out and putting her heels into a bag to bring with her. When she comes back out, she follows Nick down to his bike. He hands her a helmet, one that isn’t a full face like his.

“Figured you didn’t wanna sweat off your makeup on the ride.” he says, and she thinks he’s teasing her. “Have you ever been on a motorcycle before?”

She’d been on the back of a friend’s bike in high school, but it had been another style and she knew there was a difference between the two. “Nope.”

“Don’t worry, it’s the safest thing you’ll ever have between your legs.”

Harper’s mouth opens and closes again in surprise, before her eyes narrow. “Did you…did you just quote Girls Just Wanna Have Fun to me?”

Smiling proudly, Nick takes the helmet out of her hands, putting it on her. She holds her breath as he buckles it for her, before pulling on a pair of black leather gloves. He grabs his own helmet and puts it on. With his help, she gets on the bike behind him. She’s able to tuck the skirt of her dress enough so it won’t blow when they’re on the open road. This part she knows enough about, and she puts her hands on his sides. Nick reaches down, wrapping his hand around her wrist and pulling until she gets the message, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso. Harper presses her cheek between his shoulder, clenching her fingers in his jacket.

There was nothing more exhilarating than being on the back of Nick’s bike. It’s not that far from their houses to the venue where the final rehearsal and wedding is being held, but she enjoys every minute of the ride. The parking lot is littered with familiar cars, and Nick parks his bike, cutting the engine. It takes Harper a minute to be able to loosen her grip on his jacket, and she can still feel the rumble from beneath her in her thighs. She lets out a shaky breath, undoing the strap of the helmet and taking it off. In front of her, Nick holds out his hand so she can lift herself off of the seat. When her feet touch the ground, her legs are still shaking.

She can see her mom and her sister Reece watching her from the alcove by the entrance, and it’s hard to miss the smirk on Reece’s face and the look of concern on her mother’s. Harper takes off her flats and slips her heels back on before fluffing out her hair. She watches Nick get off the bike, and he takes off his helmet, gloves and jacket. He’s got the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled to his elbows, and it shouldn’t be nearly as distracting as it is.

“Ready to do this?” he asks, holding out his hand to her. 

Harper nods, lacing her fingers through his. He pulls her closer and she swallows hard, unable to avoid the smile that comes to her face. “Yeah.”

Making the introductions almost seems like the easy part. Within minutes of meeting, all of her sisters are enamored with Nick, including the bride to be. Her mother is a different story, but Harper already knew that it would happen like this. She hears the words drummer and motorcycle club and puts on the most believable fake smile she can. But Harper genuinely wants them to like Nick, even if it is pretend. And for the most part, they do.

“And your band…it does well?” her mother asks sometime between the final rehearsal and dinner, and Harper feels the evening going downhill. 

“They’re viral on Tik Tok,” her grandmother says. Nick smiles that wide smile again and her grandmother winks at him. “Leave them alone, dear. They seem very happy together.”

It eases the tension for Harper, just a little. Beside her, Nick puts his hand on her thigh in a comforting gesture, and she relaxes back in the seat.

The rest of the dinner goes okay, until her mother asks to speak to her privately. She leads her off to the hallway of the floor they’re on away from everyone else. Most of the day has been a blur but Nick’s been there with her the whole time, and she’s thought that they were pretty convincing.

“I know what you’re doing,” her mom says, and Harper frowns. “How could you hide something like this from us?”

“Mom, what—”

“The way that boy looks at you, there is no way that this is new. How long have the two of you been together that you couldn’t tell me, or any of us?”

She almost lets out a sigh of relief, but her mom’s words register with her. She thinks that they’ve been together for longer than she’s said, because of the way that Nick looks at her? From what she’s been able to tell, he’s looking at her the same way he has since they met. Sure, he’s touching her a little bit more, but that was all part of the plan. Wasn’t it?

“You just met him today, and you think he looks at me like, what?”

Her mom’s look turns wistful. “Like your dad used to look at me.”

The words are a punch to the gut, and not in an entirely bad way. Her parents were deeply in love once upon a time. But she doesn’t think that she and Nick know each other well enough for that to be true. Still, her mom wouldn’t have dragged her out here and said something like this unless she saw something that Harper apparently didn’t.

“Mom, there’s something—”

“Babe,” Nick appears in the hallway, and it’s obvious that he might have overheard something that was said, because he comes over, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Jolly wants me to stop by before we head home, would it be okay if we headed out now? I know things are wrapping up for the night.”

“You two go on, we’ll see you in the morning.” Harper’s mom says, answering for her.

She hugs Harper and gives Nick a polite smile before walking back into the banquet hall. It’s not until they’re in the elevator that Harper finally asks. “Who’s Jolly?”

Nick doesn’t take her home right away, turning the bike the opposite direction that they came. Harper doesn’t question it, she just burrows against him comfortably and lets him take her wherever he wants. She’d been grateful for the rescue while dealing with her mom, but she wonders what’s going to happen after the wedding tomorrow. She assumes that things will just go back to how they were before, the two of them being neighbors. It’s something, at least.

It’s dusk by the time Nick stops the bike, in a secluded little spot overlooking mountains and trees. Harper’s pretty sure she came to this spot with a boy when she was in high school. Nick drops the kickstand and takes off his helmet, and Harper takes hers off too. But he doesn’t get off the bike, and she stays leaning into him, enjoying the quiet and the view.

“I know you heard what my mom said,” she whispers into his jacket, and she feels him tense a little before he relaxes. “I thought it was all pretend.”

“And if I said that I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to ask you out for months and thought this was going to be the best way to do it?”

Harper sits up and pulls herself off the bike, and it’s just like he knows what she’s planning to do because he slides back on the seat, making room for her. He hauls her into his lap, her thighs spread over his as she sits facing him.

“I like you, Nick Folio,” she murmurs, draping her arms over his shoulders.  “I mean, you’re viral on Tik Tok after all.”

He throws his head back and laughs. “I like your grandma.”

“And what about me?”

“Oh, I really like you,” he says, before wrapping one gloved hand around the side of her neck and kissing her. 

Harper kisses him back, fisting her hands in the sides of his jacket, trying to get him closer. But she’s worried that too much motion is going to overturn the bike. It’s probably a miracle that it’s staying upright anyway. She slides her hands beneath his jacket, pulling at the buttons on his shirt. Her eyes widen at the sight of the tattoo on his chest, and she files that away for another time when she can drag this out and trace it with her tongue.

Nick pulls back, long enough to tug off his gloves and shove them in his jacket pocket before shrugging out of the leather and letting it fall behind him. Keeping his eyes on Harper’s face, his hands slide up beneath the skirt of her dress. Her breath hitches in her chest at the feeling of his hot hands on her inner thighs, skimming upwards until they touch the edge of her panties.

It’s not lost on her that they’re out here in the open where anyone could come by and see them. That doesn’t really matter to her though, not when Nick’s scraping his teeth over the column of her throat and pulling her underwear to the side.

“Is this okay?” he asks, voice low.

Harper nods quickly, reaching down to wrap her hand around his wrist and guide his hand where she wants it. His fingers slide between her folds, thumb teasing over her clit. She moans, head falling back and his free hand tugs at the top of her dress, pulling it and the cup of her bra down so he can get one of her nipples between his teeth.

A sharp cry escapes her when he eases first one, then a second finger inside of her, and when his fingers curl upward, she finds herself trying to lean back into the handlebars behind her. Nick’s fingers tangle in her hair and he pulls her mouth back to his. Harper nibbles on his bottom lip, tongue sliding over his as she grinds down against his hand.

Whimpering, she buries her hands in his hair, yanking at the longer strands. She’s already on edge, and she’d be surprised that Nick’s able to work her up so quickly, but she can’t think about anything else but this. His forehead presses into hers, eyes locked on the space between them, watching his fingers rock in and out of her. He moves them faster, adding in a third, and Harper’s lost beneath the orgasm crashing into her. The cry she lets out echoes in the air around them, bouncing off of the trees.

Nick pulls his fingers out slowly, bringing them up to his mouth to lick them clean. The sight and the aftershocks of her orgasm leave her dizzy. She starts to reach for his belt, but Nick catches her wrist, pulling her hand up and kissing her palm.

“Later, I promise. I kinda wanna get you home and into my bed.”

Harper can’t argue with that. They fix their clothes and she moves back behind him. As she’s putting her helmet back on, a thought occurs to her. “What happened to this being the safest thing I’ll ever have between my legs?”

“Honey, you haven’t seen anything yet.” he murmurs before putting on his helmet and starting the bike.

She grabs onto him, unable to keep the smile off of her face as he points the bike in the direction of home.

⇉ taglist:

@circle-with-me @deathblacksmoke @malice-ov-mercy @baddestomens

@ladyveronikawrites @dominuslunae @collapsedglasshouses @collidewiththesavannah

@thatchickwiththecamera

[daisyvisions]

Unspoken Words (Pt. 1)

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Pairing: best friend!Sangyeon x afab!reader x enemy!Hyunjae

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Summary: If someone were to tell you that you'd be in a fake relationship with the person you despise the most just to make your best friend jealous, you would've laughed in their face. But here you are... caught up in this exact situation.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Word Count: 4.2K

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Warnings: (18+, minors DNI), fake dating, mutual pining, angst, jealousy, lots of suggestive themes such as: mention of a handjob and orgasm, groping, and fondling with breasts. Mentions of alcohol. Some cursing, lots of kissing and making out, eventual smut in part two. One use of the pet name “baby”. Implied sex and loss of virginity. Lots of time skipping. Let me know if I missed anything! Proofread twice.

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. A/N: And just in the nick of time I’ve managed to write out my Secret Santa exchange gift. This one’s for you baby girl @winterchimez / @midnightfantasiez. You nearly sniffed out that it was me writing for you so I had to deviate and lie to you for a moment so sorry about that huhu anyway! A true blessing that you happen to be my recipient because we both love sangmil. A two-part mini series because I just love to keep you on your toes 😈 Hope you enjoy this gift! Thank you so much for your friendship and all the fun moments shared! Special shoutout to @momhwa-agenda / @aimeecarreros for being my accomplice hehe. Finally a sangmil fic has made its debut on the blog!

‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. Network: @deoboyznet

You never should’ve gone to this stupid spring dance.

The thought in your mind repeating like a broken record as you try to hug yourself from the cold air outside the gymnasium. Tears running down your face as you stare off into the ground trying not to remember the reason why you suddenly ran out of the venue to begin with.

It wasn’t always like this. You were once very content with how things were going on in your life.

With the semester almost ending and all your mid-term grades just enough to pass, you couldn’t wait to celebrate surviving your last year of college with this one magical night. Especially with your best friend Sangyeon by your side.

Right… best friend.

The same best friend that had been ignoring you for the last two months or so (not that you were counting of course). Your mind races as you try to figure out for the nth time what even started this whole issue between you two.

All you could think back to was the beginning of his odd behavior, which started the week after your birthday. At first you thought Sangyeon was just busy with extracurriculars, which was often the case since he was part of numerous clubs and volunteer work.

But then things started to feel off as soon as he would ignore your calls, take too long to reply to texts, hearing from other friends he was just at home when he told you he was “fully booked” to hang out. It was like he was trying to come up with every excuse in the book just to not see your face.

Was he trying to hide something from you perhaps? That idea immediately disappeared as soon as you accidentally overheard his conversation with Haknyeon that one time you were all hanging out at Eric’s apartment.

“What?! You’re not gonna ask her to the spring dance?” You hear Haknyeon’s surprised tone.

“Of course not.” Sangyeon scoffs. “Why would I want to bring her? We’re just friends after all.”

You felt a sudden pang in your heart. Tears threatening to fall down as Sangyeon’s words bore deep holes within your soul. After everything you’ve been through together, this is how he thinks of you?

It shouldn’t have been that deep honestly, but with him ignoring you for the past couple of weeks and remembering the promise you made with each other to go together to the spring dance? It really fucking hurt you. Especially when you and Sangyeon had been by each other’s side since you first met three years ago at your freshman orientation. Instantly hitting it off like two peas in a pod and the rest was history.

Somewhere down the line, you knew you had some sort of feelings for him. Who wouldn’t?

With a smile that can cure any bad feeling you had, how he always took care of you first, the lingering hugs before you had to part ways at the end of the day, the way he would remember even the most insignificant details of a story you were rambling about, and made sure to always message you good night and good morning… He was the dream guy for you.

And even if you had moments wherein you thought he might’ve felt the same way, you didn’t want to sacrifice the strong bond you had with him over a stupid little crush. You just settled with the idea of just staying in the friend zone and not dare to cross any lines with him. Burying any what could’ves and everything else in-between.

Maybe that’s why Sangyeon distancing himself from you hurt more than it should’ve honestly.

So when you were seated at your table during the dance and saw Sangyeon entering the room with his date wrapping her arm around his, you felt massive sting in your chest.

That should’ve been you. It should've been you spending this night with him instead of whoever was currently by his side.

You thought you could go through the night just by avoiding your gaze their table, but the way Sangyeon smiled at his date and at everyone else like nothing was wrong, but his face slightly faltering as he quickly glanced your way, you just had to get out of there before things went downhill.

Your teeth were chattering from the cold air breezing against your exposed skin, nose sniffling and hands wiping whatever tears were leaving marks on your face. Suddenly, a pair of shoes enter your line of vision while your eyes were still glued to the ground.

“You shouldn’t be out here, it’s freezing.” The familiar voice tells you.

As soon as you look up, you find Hyunjae staring down at you. One of his eyebrows slightly raised as he wonders what has gotten you into this depressed state on a special night like this.

“Laugh it up Hyunjae, isn’t this what you’ve always wanted? To see me cry?” You look up at him for a moment with your tear-stained face before looking back down at your feet.

Before you could even continue feeling sorry for yourself, Hyunjae sighs and squats down, his face now at the same level as yours. You feel his fingers lift your chin and gently tap the tears away from your cheeks with his handkerchief. Your eyes widen as he leans in closer, making sure not to ruin your makeup in the process.

“W-what are you doing?” you stutter.

“Pretty girls like you shouldn’t be crying.” He nonchalantly replies.

You’re too stunned to speak at his comment. As far as you know, Hyunjae has been nothing but a pain in your ass ever since he accidentally bumped into you in the hallway causing your diorama to break into tiny pieces as it fell to the ground.

Since then, you wrote him off as your sworn enemy. Always finding ways to annoy the hell out of you and get you to react to his antics, making side comments to one another, and his constant teasing that made you want to rip your hair off.

So no, never in your wildest dreams would you hear such a comment coming out of Hyunjae’s mouth.

“Hello?” Hyunjae waves his hand in front of you.

“What?” You shook your head as you were too distracted from hearing the question he had asked you.

“I said, do you wanna get out of here or what?” He sighs as he lends his hand out for you to grab. You hesitate at first. In any normal situation, you would never even let Hyunjae get as close as he did just now, let alone go somewhere with him.

But what the hell… Anywhere is better than here.

“So… who’s the lucky guy that has you bawling your eyes out? It’s obviously not me.” Hyunjae smirks. You had found yourself seated by the bar, eating french fries as you waited for your drinks to arrive.

“It’s uh- It’s a little complicated.” You try to avoid his eyes.

“Trouble in paradise?” Hyunjae pops a fry into his mouth waiting for your answer. Your eyes widen at his suggestion, knowing who he was referring to.

“What? No! I mean- We were never together if that’s what you’re thinking.” You sigh before carefully explaining to him the whole situation you were currently in with Sangyeon. Hyunjae intently looks into your eyes as you tell your side of the story.

“Huh…” Hyunjae takes a sip of his beer.

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” You look at him as he drinks, trying to not to dwell too much at the way his neck looks flexed under the dim light.

“You’re really impatient you know that?” He chuckles before taking another sip. “I was about to tell you an idea I just thought of.”

“Yeah? Let’s hear it then.” You take a sip of your cocktail this time.

“What if you make him jealous? Like really jealous.” Hyunjae suggests.

“Pass. First of all, I don’t think he likes me that way. And second, who the hell would he even be jealous of? Sangyeon hardly gets jealous by anything.” You squint at him. What a silly idea.

“No c’mon. Trust me, he’ll be jealous alright. Especially when it comes to you.” He eyes you up and down subtly.

“What does that even me-” Before you could even finish your sentence you spot behind Hyunjae a group of students dressed in formal attire entering the bar. And like a moth to a flame, you immediately spot Sangyeon and his date amongst the group.

Hyunjae turns around to see what had been the cause of your panic, his eyes immediately spotting Sangyeon from a distance as well. And as soon as Sangyeon had a puzzled look on his face he knew that Sangyeon had spotted the two of you by the bar, wondering what the hell were you doing with Hyunjae of all people.

You hop off the bar stool, attempting to run away like you did during the dance, but you suddenly feel a hand gently grab you by the arm and pull you back before you could even make a run for it.

“C’mere.” Hyunjae asks.

“Wha-”

“Just follow my lead.” He whispers in your ear.

And before you know it, you feel Hyunjae lips pressed against yours. His hands cupping your face before sliding down to your waist, pulling you closer to him. It takes a moment for your brain to process what’s going on, but your body responds faster by wrapping your arms around Hyunjae’s neck and deepening the kiss.

The way his lips perfectly mold against yours, how soft they feel as his hands squeeze your waist. The little groan he lets out as you slip your tongue inside his mouth, tasting the beer he had drank as your fingers run through his hair.

You nearly moan with how he slowly but expertly moves his mouth against yours. As if he’s taking to memory what your lips feel like in case this moment would never happen again. Both you and Hyunjae nearly forget you’re practically sucking each other’s faces off in public, which was surprising considering the nature of your relationship with one another.

No one could even tell the two of you despised the other as you held each other like lovers.

None of you see it, but the way Sangyeon looks at both of you right now is as if he wants to throw daggers at Hyunjae from across the room. Witnessing the both of you passionately kissing each other makes his stomach churn, a feeling he has never felt before. So many questions run in his head as he continues to watch from afar.

Before he even tries to take a step towards your direction, he sees you both pull away from one another. Hyunjae whispering something in your ear as you look too stunned to speak before taking out his wallet, pulling out cash and settling it on the table before whisking you away out of the bar.

Sangyeon really should’ve brought you to the spring dance like he promised… because not only does he feel like an asshole, but a jealous one at that.

The car ride on the way to your house was incredibly silent, as if what had happened between you and Hyunjae was just your imagination. Except it wasn’t. You could still feel his lips lingering on yours as you try to lean your head against the window and looking at anything passing by.

You’re broken from your trance as you hear Hyunjae’s door closing and his figure making its way to your side of the car. He lends out his hand for you to grab once again, helping you get out of the car and walk you to the front of your apartment.

“So… I’ll see you around?” Hyunjae smiles awkwardly says as he puts both his hands in his pockets.

“Hyunjae, wait-” You grab his elbow as he’s about to turn around.

“Hm?” He raises one eyebrow.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but-” You huff in-between, “let’s go with your plan.” You watch the little mischievous smirk appear on Hyunjae’s lips.

“If you just wanted to make out some more you could’ve just asked.” He teases. You’re about to slap him on the arm but he catches your hand and holds it tight.

“I’m kidding! Just… Let me know when and what time we can talk about it more alright?” He squeezes your hand gently. You don’t know why but a tiny little butterfly flutters in your stomach as you feel Hyunjae’s thumb subconsciously stroke the back of your hand.

“Okay… Thank you by the way for tonight-” you tiptoe a bit to hold Hyunjae’s cheek and leave a light peck on his lips. He’s caught off guard by your action, almost leaning forward some more to continue kissing you but you pull away quick enough before he does.

“Y-yeah, sure. Anytime.” Thank god it’s night time he thinks, otherwise you would've easily spotted the redness flaring in his ears and made fun of him for it.

“Call me okay?” He squeezes your hand once more before letting go and walking back to his car. You watch him drive off before heading up to your apartment, leaning against the front door and letting out one big sigh of relief.

“What the hell did I get myself into?”

“If you really want this to work, we have to set a few ground rules.” Hyunjae he pulls out a pen and paper from his bag, immediately writing down a numbered list for you both to fill out.

“Rule one- if one of us wants to stop this thing at any given moment, the contract will end.” Hyunjae says as he writes it down.

“Hmm.. what about rule two- if any of us catch some sort of feelings for one another, the contract is immediately terminated” You add. Hyunjae scoffs at the idea.

“Catch feelings? Seriously?” He looks up at you with a smirk. “Is there something you’ve been meaning to tell me this whole time?” He continues to tease.

“I’m serious! It’s only gonna get complicated for us to execute this plan if feelings are involved. Haven’t you seen the movies?” You ask him.

“Fine, you have a point.” He writes down your suggestion earlier.

“Okay, rule three- kisses are a must if you want this thing to work.” He looks at you in the eyes. “And other things couples do.”

You roll your eyes at him, “Fine, but nothing beyond second base please?” You scrunch your face at the thought.

“Oh?” Hyunjae looks at you with a few twinkles in his eyes. “So does that mean I get to play with your-”

“NO! Not that. Like y’know, just waist touching and maybe the occasional touch of the ass. But definitely and absolutely no touching my chest whatsoever.” You point your finger at him. “I'm serious.”

“Alright alright!” Hyunjae raises his hands up in defense. “Anything else you wanna add?”

“Let me see the list again.” You grab the paper from his hands, carefully examining the words written before nodding.

“This looks good. Yeah, I’m fine with this.” You hand the paper back to Hyunjae.

“It’s a deal.” He says as you both shake on it before getting up to part ways.

Before you have a chance to take a step towards where your class is, Hyunjae pulls you into his chest and leaves a kiss on your lips, making you squeal in surprise.

“Sit with me during lunch. We start this today, okay?” Hyunjae reminds you. You nod your head before shyly giving him a kiss on his cheek and walking away to head to your first class of the day.

Sangyeon could not keep his eyes off you during study period. It had been this way every time you happen to be in the same room as him. You looked beautiful as ever of course but he could feel his blood pressure shooting up every time he would be near you.

Ever since that night he saw you kissing Hyunjae almost two weeks ago, it was like the two of you were everywhere.

He hated the way Hyunjae would always whisper something in your ear and you would laugh at whatever he said. Or the way his hand would find purchase on your lower back. And not to mention the way he would brush any loose hair behind your ear before kissing you goodbye.

It should’ve been him. He should've been the one doing all these things to you. He should've been the guy leaving you all those loving kisses, holding you by your waist, reminding you of how beautiful you look every single chance he got.

If only he was honest with you that night.

Sangyeon’s internal monologuing was cut short when he sees you getting up from your seat and patting Hyunjae on the shoulder before making your way between the bookshelves in the library.

As you slowly search for the book you need for your English paper, your shoulder bumps into a semi hard surface. “Oh! I’m so so-” you whisper but stop mid sentence as the familiar scent of cologne hits your nose.

“Hey….” Sangyeon whispers.

“Uh- Hi.” You back away from him a bit as an awkward silence falls between you two.

“How are things going? We haven’t talked in a while.” He fiddles with his own fingers, trying to think of the next words to say to you.

“Good I guess? Just trying to make it through the semester and stay motivated.” You respond.

“Sure looks like it-” Sangyeon mumbles. But you clearly hear him and scoff at his rudeness.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You cross your arms against your chest.

“Seriously… Hyunjae? Why him?” He loudly whispers. “You’re better than that.”

“Yeah?” You step a little closer to Sangyeon, closing the gap between you two.

“Well where the fuck have you been huh? Where were you when I needed you?” You match the level of his tone.

“You don’t understand-”

“Then explain it to me then Sangyeon! I’m listening.”

He tries to speak but nothing comes out, panicking that this might be the last chance he could get to explain why he’s been so distant.

“I-uh” His eyes look everywhere else except you.

“Nothing? Thought so.” You push past him, making sure to harshly nudge your shoulder against his.

Sangyeon tries to follow you, but as soon as he steps out between the bookshelves he sees you head out of the library while Hyunjae scrambles to grab all your things from the table and chases after you. He sighs out of frustration combing his hair as he mentally curses at himself.

Oh he really fucked things up didn’t he?

“And he had the nerve, THE NERVE to tell me I know better. I can’t believe him!” You pace back and forth in your bedroom as you rant to Hyunjae about the events that took place in the library

“I honestly don’t know if I should feel offended or flattered at his little comment about me.” Hyunjae’s eyes follow you as you continue to move around.

“Think about it this way, at least we know the plan is working. Otherwise he wouldn’t have approached you like that.”

“Maybe? Ugh! Why are men so dumb?” You sigh.

“We think with our dicks that’s why. Well… maybe that’s just me.” He smirks, trying to crack a joke to break the tension. His little joke becomes successful when you look back at him and chuckle.

“Forget about him,” Hyunjae adds. “Tonight we drink to celebrate passing yet another exam and watch movies til we fall asleep or you decide to kick me out. Whichever comes first.”

He pours a full glass of wine for each of you as you plop down beside him and get cozy.

“Fine, but I’m picking the movie okay?” You tell him as you open your laptop and search for your favorite comfort movie.

Hours pass, almost three bottles of wine finished, and the movie long forgotten as you decide to chat with each other about anything and everything instead. It’s been nothing but laughs and mocking each other as you reminisce all the times you pissed each other off and funny stories of one another.

“Oh the look on your face was fucking priceless-” You laugh out loud, trying to catch your breath as you recall one embarrassing moment of Hyunjae.

“Well what the hell was I supposed to do then huh? Tell the professor I was getting a handjob under the table during his class?” His voice raises in defense. “Not my fault she couldn’t resist me.”

“You looked so mortified too holy shit-” You laugh.

“I was nearing a fucking orgasm okay? Then he calls me to the front of the class to write down my answer for the stupid formula. That professor practically edged me!” His cheeks starting to turn even more red as you continue to laugh at him.

“Ow it hurts, wait-” You clutch your stomach from the pain of laughing too much.

“Oh yeah? Let’s see how you like it then-” Hyunjae lunges forward, pulling your arms away to tickle you furiously.

You squeal out his name, trying to push him away while he tackles you. As you try to squirm out of his grip, you don’t even realize the position you’ve gotten yourselves into. Your body caged under his as he grabs your wrists and pins them down at each side of your head.

As the laughter starts to die down, Hyunjae looks down at you with heavy eyelids. You look incredibly pretty under him in this moment, he thinks to himself.

You didn’t even do anything in that moment but it was like he felt so drawn to you. Like you were a siren pulling him in. Your breath hitches as he leans down closer to your face, briefly stopping to search for any sign of consent before fully pressing his lips against yours.

This obviously is not the first time you two have kissed. But for some reason, this kiss felt different than all the other ones. You both kiss each other slowly, lips molding like a perfect dance as his hands let go of your wrist and hold you by your waist instead.

And just like the first time you kissed, you find yourself automatically wrapping your arms around him and running your fingers through his hair, pulling his body closer to yours as kisses travel down from your jaw to the most sensitive part of your neck.

You feel your core blooming in heat as his tongue expertly swirls inside your mouth. How it pulsates for him as you feel his hands go under your shirt, stopping right under your breasts.

You suddenly gasp as his hands start fondling your bra covered chest, gently kneading them as he continues to leave small marks on your sensitive skin with his lips.

A choked moan comes out as you feel his manhood throb against your core, reminding you of the thin layers of clothing, your thin pajama shorts and his sweatpants that stand between you two from crossing any lines.

“Hyunjae, wait-” You try to slowly push him off. His head pulls away to look at your face.

“Oh shit. I’m- fuck sorry no chest stuff-” You see the panic look in his eyes. But before he’s able to pull away, you grab him by the wrists and press his hands deeper into your chest.

A deep groan comes out of his mouth as he squeezes your breasts again, feeling your sensitive buds slowly hardening under your bra.

“No it’s not that. I-” You close your eyes for a moment before swallowing the lump in your throat. You feel your cheeks become warm at what you’re about to confess to him.

"I've never done stuff like this before..." you nervously say.

It takes a few seconds for your words to sink in before Hyunjae looks back at you with widened eyes.

“Oh uh- are you sure? We can stop. We don’t even have to do anything more-” He caresses your cheek.

“The thing is…” You pause to slowly swipe your thumb on his lower lip. “I want to-”

You look up at him with the most innocent looking eyes and Hyunjae swears to himself that he’s never seen anyone look at him the way you do. Like he had hung the moon for you. Hyunjae softly smiles at you before leaning to kiss you once again,

"Then sit tight baby… Because I'm about to rock your world."

(Part 2)

[averseunhinged]

hii! Just saw your promt post, and I was wondering if you could do either Jealous!Klaroline or Klaus comforting caroline after something bad happens to her? sorry if these are too bland 😭😭

hi! thanks for the prompt! i had a lot of fun with it. i'm not sure if this is what you had in mind, but i hope you like it. it ended up technically being both prompts in one.

cw for light angst, (kind of mild, i think) jealousy, klaus's issues, caroline's issues, death of a parent, grief, and it's pretty gooey by the end. we went the full-ass gamut in 2k words. no magic babies. very loose adherence to canon. title is from rock of gibraltar by nick cave & the bad seeds.

for the next thousand years

Caroline was wearing color again.

She'd draped herself in mourning black since she'd surprised him at Rousseau's nearly a year ago, still in her funeral dress with her severe hair barely mussed, but barefoot and ghastly bloodless, holding onto her humanity in a white-knuckled grip.

"My mom's dead," she had said, and he'd scooped her up as she collapsed. Cami had quickly ushered them out the back while Caroline began to weep. "How does anyone survive feeling this?" she'd sobbed into his neck as he carried her home.

How does anyone survive feeling this? he still wondered.

Caroline was in color again, a brick red cocktail dress, the close-fitting pencil skirt a demure knee length, but the scooped neckline was risqué. She was laughing and vibrant, witty and magnetic. No one she spoke with could take their eyes off her. She was a charming force of nature, and she'd spent the evening on his brother's arm.

Oh he wasn't stupid. He knew there was nothing going on. Caroline had gifted him with proud, beaming smiles, whenever he caught her eye, and a thousand years at one another's side let him easily read the encouraging looks Elijah had shot him, but there was an additional significance to them Klaus didn't understand.

Still, it was Elijah who ushered her around the room, making introduction after introduction, her hand tucked into his elbow, or his at the small of her back. Klaus could imagine what people thought of them. How charming they were. How perfect for each other. What a lovely couple.

The glass in his hand cracked. He slumped further down at his table in the corner. Rebekah had done a marvelous job fashioning a more modern version of a speakeasy in their home. The lights were warm and low and made everything seem soft-focus, and the crystal glittered under them. There was a live band playing and--

They were doing the damn foxtrot. He didn't know Caroline could foxtrot.

Maybe he should have guessed this would happen. She had been just a small-town cheerleader when they met. Nothing and no one in the grand scheme of things, but she'd still drawn his attention swiftly and irrevocably. He'd known she'd be transcendent once she made her way into the world. Only, he had thought he would be the one on the dancefloor with his arm around her waist.

He was being ridiculous of course. Even if Elijah had been a serious competitor for her affection, rather than an older brother enjoying needling the younger, Klaus wasn't doing himself any favors. He had experience in these matters after all. A long, sullen pout wasn't likely to steal her attention back. He needed to dredge up a bit of the charm and joie de vivre that made her halfway tolerate him in the first place, but the longer he lurked and watched, the more he felt on the verge of causing a scene. In this case, discretion truly was the better part of valor. He liberated a full bottle of bourbon and another tumbler from the catering staff and made a swift exit.

On his way out of the ballroom, he brushed past Camille and tried to do his best impression of someone who very much did not need to talk about his feelings. She saw the bottle of bourbon in his hand and the look on his face and groaned.

"I really don't want to play wise bartender tonight," she said, slightly tipsy.

He rolled his eyes. "So, don't."

"Okay," she agreed to his surprise. "You need to get your shit together."

"Excuse me?" he snapped.

"You didn't want the wise bartender. So, you get your friend, Cami, who is also friends with the source of your angst. I know more about what's going here than you seem to. This is supposed to be a special night, and you're being a dick."

Klaus continued his escape without acknowledging her. Occasionally, it was necessary to concede the last word, if one wanted to avoid eating one's friends.

Out on the balcony, he poured himself a drink and let the guilt gnaw at him. Cami was right about one thing. This was a special night. He wished he could undo this mood he found himself in, but the harder he tried, the more he risked sinking into certain violence. After the first glass, he left it on the table and went to lean on the balcony railing. He shut his eyes, breathed in the night air, and tried to let the sounds of his city unwind the chains around his spine.

The tap-tap-tap of high heels, divorced from the sounds of partygoers and merrymakers, on marble and then hardwood, pulled him out of his attempted meditation. He'd know the sound of her gait anywhere. This was the quick step of anticipation with a dash of nerves, rather than the sharp staccato of impatient annoyance.

"Did my brother run out of important people clamoring for an introduction?" he asked, directing his question toward the view the moment he smelled the sweet, seductive frangipani oil she'd recently begun using as a perfume.

"Oh boy," she muttered under her breath.

There was the delicate clink of glassware on the metal table. He smelled the crisp, heady scent of an excellent champagne before he heard the pour. A glass appeared under his nose, held by a perfectly manicured hand, nails painted gold just a touch paler than the wine. He took the glass from her and ducked his chin to hide the smile that threatened at the appearance of their thing. They touched their glasses together with a crystalline ping.

He made a thoughtful noise after the first sip. "Marie Ledru? I'm surprised we're serving that."

"We're not. I heard it was your favorite, so I got one out of the wine cellar earlier."

Wine cellar was dubious nomenclature for a dungeon where they also happened to store their spirits. He was shocked Caroline ventured down there. It had been left off the initial house tour, since the last thing she'd needed was to be assaulted by the scent of blood and death.

"Well, Elijah's just full of prodition tonight."

"I have no idea what that means," she admitted. "But it was Rebekah, actually. She practically had to draw me a map, because she made Cuvée Goulte sound like a cat choking, and I couldn't begin to guess how to spell that."

"Bekah's French has always been enthusiastic," he laughed into his glass, the bright effervescence of the wine working to lift his mood.

Or perhaps it was the company.

"I know I've been a total disaster since I showed up here," she said. He made a dissenting noise, but she steamrolled over him. "And I'm not exactly sorry about that. My mom deserved to be mourned, and I needed to do that somewhere," she trailed off as her voice tightened until it was barely audible.

He tried to observe her in his peripheral vision without making her feel studied. She was blinking rapidly, her head tilted back as she looked up at the sky. Light pollution made the stars nearly invisible, and the party had purposely been held on the night of the new moon, but she seemed to look beyond, far off to somewhere he couldn't begin to imagine. Lifting the glass to her nose, she breathed in slowly. Her eyes slipped closed. She smiled, small, but true.

She took a sip and held it, tasting it, before beginning again. "I needed to be somewhere no one would judge me for how I grieved. Whether I was doing it too fast or not fast enough. Too publicly or not publicly enough. If I cried as charmingly as Elena does. Mystic Falls is where I come from, and I'll always love it, but I can't spend the next however many years wondering if I'm living up to whatever they think I should be."

"I understand," he said quietly, with more compassion than he typically had, hoping the small undercurrent of disappointment was hidden from her.

"No," she said, and there was an edge of desperation to it that worried him. "I'm still messing it up. I know this wasn't what you had in mind. It hasn't exactly been the reunion you imagined."

She wasn't wrong, but she wasn't right, either. He'd wanted her to come to him when she was ready. Not just for him. He'd wanted her to be ready for herself. Ready to be who she truly was.

He leaned into her, resting his shoulder against hers. "Caroline--"

"I've been trying to be better," she continued before he could disrupt the point she was winding her way towards. "I've been spending a lot of time with Cami, because she gets how it feels to be totally alone in this one specific way. We have friends, sure, but no more family. Not just blood relatives. The real kind, who know everything about us and love us anyway."

It wasn't a notion he enjoyed thinking about. Whatever their disagreements might be, despite the way they irritated him ceaselessly, he held his siblings tight to his chest, hostages to his greed. Caroline had no such ties remaining, and he had no way of giving them back to her. Instead, he wrapped his arm around her, as though he was anchor enough to stop her from floating away.

She left her champagne on the edge of the balcony and burrowed into him, beneath the protective wing of his jacket. In heels, she was too tall to tuck herself under his chin the way Rebekah did when she was younger. Caroline wound an arm around his back and gripped his shirt hard enough to leave wrinkles. She cupped his neck in her other hand, fingers inching into his hair, and tucked her nose into his cheekbone, her forehead to his temple.

Klaus wanted to abandon his own champagne to hold her close, but couldn't bring himself to close the circuit. Instead, he took a sip, hardly tasting it around the distraction of the woman pressed against him.

"I know I've been useless since I got here," she whispered into the soft skin near his ear, her voice so very small, "and not at all the girl you wanted in Mystic Falls. Elijah was already helping me with the financial stuff; so, I asked him to help me learn the ropes in New Orleans, too. I wanted to--"

His glass toppled down into the garden below. It was a waste of fantastic champagne, but he couldn't bring himself to give a damn with her in his arms.

"--prove I belong here," she was still saying, even as he fluttered kisses onto her cheeks. "And I might not feel exactly like the same girl I was before, but I'm still the best parts of her. I'm still something. I'm still--"

"Everything." He pulled away just far enough to see the way the tears she fought were catching in the soot of her blackened lashes. "You're everything."

She looked at him as though he was both ripping her wounds open and sewing them closed. It's all for you, he'd told her once, and longed for a time when she'd accept the tribute he was offering. He'd never dreamed she'd give the same in return.

When she kissed him, it was like that day in the woods outside her hometown, with all the joy of reconnection and none of the sorrow of an imminent parting.

In a while, once they'd had their fill of soaking each other in, he'd take her back inside to their guests and show her off on the dancefloor. If there was anyone else who simply had to meet her, they’d best enjoy doing it with him attached like an additional appendage, because he wasn't letting her out of his arms again that night. Or for the next several days. Or perhaps ever, if she would allow it.

"Happy birthday, Caroline," he pledged against her lips.

How does anyone survive feeling this? she'd asked all those months ago.

Like this, sweetheart.

Exactly like this.

[plants-are-fun]

”it’s ok, just eat”

TW: ED!!!! PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS!!

I have struggled with this in the past and it comforted me so hopefully it can do the same for others

toxic mom(same), toxic personal trainer

shitty writing

heavy angst, fluff, semi happy ending

Bf!chrisxEDgf

small use of y/n

Chris’s pov

—————————

i don’t know how I didn’t see it before. Every single time we went out to eat, y/n would pretend to eat. She would slide her food around, cut it, even offer me some, but she would never actually take a bite.

throughout our whole relationship she would be constantly tired and cold, but to be honest I thought that was just a woman thing. I wanted to have her in a car video, but she would refuse and her only reason was “i don’t want them to see me”. I didn’t push it, but that explanation never sat right.

as she started showing the desire to be in our videos, she started rapidly losing weight, but when I asked her about it she would just say it’s what her personal trainer had been working on. I should have pushed it.

so now, here we are in our minivan prepping to film.

“hey mama what do you want to eat?” I say going as matt pulls into McDonald’s. I look back and all she does is get red and start to fidget.

“it’s ok Chris I don’t need anything” She stutters. “Besides, if I were to eat I think that I would throw up. I’m so nervous”

“you need to have something to eat. These videos can get kind of long.” Nick says as he glances over at me looking worried. Matt nods.

“okay Nick just order her a dr pepper to make sure her blood sugar doesn’t crash” I look over to make sure that’s good, but all of the color previously is not drained from her face.

“U-um can you make it a diet?” She whispers.

I honestly just passed that as nerves.

After we got our food and we made it to a random parking lot, Nick passed out the food and may set up the camera.

“shit” she says

“what’s wrong ma?” At this point I am starting to get very worried.

“it isn’t diet.” She says. I look up at her and she looks like she could cry.

“it’s ok, I’m sure it’s not that big of a deal” I say obliviously. “Do you want a fry?”

she starts to stutter some excuse when Matt comes back in and Nick introduces the video.

After Nick starts some random argument with Matt I realize that something is seriously wrong. I can hear my girlfriends breathing start to get heavier and even her stomach growl.

“hey kid I can hear your stomach from here” I say handing her a couple of fries.

“I don’t want to take your food” she says

“it’s ok, just eat.” She takes a fry and starts to nibble on it. As Nick starts up on some dumb rant about his newest fear, I hear the car door slide open and running. Nick just stares at her in aw and starts laughing, but I’m already on my feet.

I run over to her as I hear gagging and heaving. I pull her hair back and rub my hand against her back.

as she comes back up all she is doing is sobbing and rambling apologies

“I’m s-so sorry I r-ruined your video I didn’t mean to I didn’t want to eat but I-i didn’t want you to ask questions! I’m sorry Chris please forgive me-“ I cut her off with a hug.

“baby what happened? Are you ok? What do you mean you didn’t want to eat? Do you feel sick”

I lead her to a sidewalk curb as she slumps over in exhaustion. She spills everything.

“my whole life my mom has always made me watch what I eat. She used to tell me to suck in my gut and all of that overbearing mother stuff. Then when I started dating you I had already not been eating much, but I really really wanted you to like me and I thought I was too big for that. So I cut back on my calories and went to the gym more. My personal trainer has been calling me fat. He says it’s for motivation but it’s just making it worse! Then when you said you wanted to introduce me to your fans, I just got so scared because I know how intense they are, so I stopped eating all together. But I didn’t think that it would backfire so much that I would ruin the video. I’m sorry Chris, I really am.”

she just leans her head against my shoulder and hiccups lightly.

I feel like the worst boyfriend ever for not seeing the signs. Sure, I’ve been busy, but only an oblivious asshole wouldn’t see the love of his life struggling so much.

“first things first, you didn’t ruin the video. Your safety is far more important. We also are going to FIRE that personal trainer. I’m so sorry I didn’t realize you were hurting until now. When was the last time you ate?”

“when we went out and I got that salad” my heart drops. “baby, that was 3 days ago…” she just starts crying again.

“it’s ok, let’s go get something light to eat. Maybe water based? Then we can go to the doctor, or get you a therapist.”

“ok” she whispers

“I love you so much baby” I say kissing the top of her head.

“we’ll get through this together.”

————————-

eek I can’t tell if that was good or not but I’m too tired for anything else 😥

[here2bbtstrash]

real magic (explicit)

genre: smut, fluff, bangin’ your boss, m attempts kidfic - part of a hyung holiday collab !

pairing: namjoon x reader

summary: the holiday season has never meant anything to you beyond suffering long hours for minimum wage and awaiting the collapse of capitalism— but this year, you’d be willing to add making out with your dilf coffee shop boss to the list.

word count: 16.7k 😩

contains: ~*~explicit sexual content (after kind of a slow burn sorry lol)~*~ the "moving back to your hometown" hallmark trope, a nick jonas poster (yes that's a warning), some taekook slander in the beginning because i thought it was funny, namjoon is so buff and so dumb but so wise and so hot, moni is a little shit, namjoon is a dad!, namjoon's kid uses they/them pronouns but it's not like A Focus of the story it's just flavor, reader thinks joon has a dead wife for like one second 💀 mentions of teenage pregnancy and co-parenting, one incredibly stupid asshole customer lmao, mint choco slander (it's what namjoon would want 😌), obviously there is an employee/boss power dynamic but they talk about it and figure it out because this is namjoon and he overthinks everything, namjoon driving (he's a dad i have to assume he would get his license if he had a literal child!!!!!!!!) and a lotta sentimental holiday and life talk. here are ur sex specific warnings: making out/going to second base in a car in a parking lot (what is it with my namjoons and cars in parking lots yo), fingering, semi-drunk sex, and fuckin' rawwwww with a smidge of size and breeding kink lmao (but she's on the pill!!! no more kids!!!!!!)

A/N: hello hello hi merry crisis this damn fic is finally here lmao~ as i have been babbling on about for days i really really (REALLY) love how this namjoon turned out he's just hesjkrgdhtgk such a fucking himbo but a good dad and wise and did i mention hot aaaaaa 🫠 all the love in my gay little heart to @goodsoop for their barista wisdom and real life experiences that went into this one (the cookie story will never not make me laugh) ! and to @sailoryooons for beta reading this 50 million times and encouraging me when i was convinced it sucked ass, and also for making all the gorgeous banners for this collab 😭

which btw - be sure to go check out @gimmethatagustd & @sailoryooons & @nabiolive 's fics tooooo !!! i've loved collabing with them so very much even when we were all hashtag Going Through It, we got the whole damn hyung line you hear meeeeee 🎁🎁🎁🎁

read on AO3!

Rudely awoken by the incessant beep of your alarm, you open your eyes to find Nick Jonas staring back at you, and you sit up with a scream.

Realization washes over your sleep-addled brain in waves: first, that you aren’t actually staring at a real person. He’s just smizing on a hot pink poster, held up by some remarkably durable masking tape you stuck to the wall fifteen years ago. Second, it comes back to you that you are staring at said poster because you’ve woken up in your childhood bedroom. It’s been left untouched since you were a teenager, like a weird time capsule of all your high school obsessions.

After reaching for your phone to silence the alarm, you kick your way out from under the blankets, trying not to make eye contact with Nick, or Justin, or Zayn as you stumble to the bathroom. The circumstances of your grand return to living in your goddamn parents’ house linger like a bad taste in your mouth, one that all the tongue brushing in the world can’t remove.

It still doesn’t feel real. Taehyung, your best friend in the world since freshman year of college, kicked you out. Sure, it may have been phrased more like a gentle request, but as far as your ego is concerned, it still feels like exile. Banishment, even. The person you thought you could never be parted from made his choice, and he chose his fucking boyfriend over you.

Jungkook. You think the name with all the venom your cold, dead heart can manage as you spit toothpaste into the sink.

Jungkook, the weird, bug-eyed kid who put his toe-socked feet on your couch, drank his banana milk out of your favorite mug, and ate up all of your Samyang ramyeon because he ‘thought it was communal’. 

Jungkook, who ruined your sleep schedule nightly, either by fucking Taehyung senseless on the other side of your paper-thin apartment wall, or by blasting the same four Ariana Grande songs over and over on his bluetooth speaker and singing along in an annoyingly good voice. Either activity would go on well into the early hours of the morning, until you had to bang on the wall so hard you nearly put your fist through it.

Jungkook, whose dog once took a shit right on the floor in the middle of the kitchen.

Bam was cute enough to forgive, of course. But you can never forgive Taehyung for his betrayal. Especially when he knew you’d just been fired from your shitty coffee shop job for the stupidest reason ever, and he didn’t let that derail or even delay him. He still went ahead and delivered the killing blow.

Et tu, Taehyung? you think angrily to yourself as you stand in front of the suitcase containing as much of your closet as you could possibly fit. You still need to go back for your bigger furniture, and little things like your plates and your mugs and your silverware, which Jungkook is probably putting his grimy little fingers all over at this very moment. But until you’ve checked out of your indefinite vacation at the Nightmare Parental Hotel, there doesn’t really seem a point.

If you were less upset, you might take consolation in the fact that your parents aren’t actually here, that they’ve jaunted off to their timeshare until the new year, but you’re busy being too swallowed whole by your misery to find an ounce of joy in any piece of your current reality.

You dig through the pile of clothes until you manage to pull out something halfway decent. The first order of business now that you’ve moved back in is simple: acquire another stupid coffee shop job. You have no plans to stick around long, you just need something seasonal that will give you some meager income while you start looking for a real gig, one that is ideally not in your hometown.

Watching yourself in the mirror as you pull on a simple black blouse and your least-stained pair of jeans, you attempt to mentally dust off your interview skills. You conjure up your best fake smile and customer service voice, both of which are second-nature at this point.

Why do you want this job? “I’m just so passionate about coming home sticky and verbally abused by caffeine-addicted assholes every night.”

What’s your biggest weakness? “Clearly it’s the fact that I’m a ray of fucking sunshine.”

Why were you terminated from your last job? “Oh, well, I attempted to get my previous employer to improve their standards of worker treatment. You see, I selfishly requested that they raise the bar a single notch above hell. Certainly won’t happen again!”

This should go well, you tell yourself, and your reflection grimaces back.

With several hours to kill before your job interview and a growing desire to avoid the weird nostalgia of your childhood that seems to lurk in every corner of your parents’ house, you decide to take a walk.

The sky is bright blue and cloudless, and though the air is brisk, it isn’t terribly windy. You tuck in your earbuds as you shut the front door behind you and pick a direction, aimless, letting your mind wander to the soundtrack of your “seasonal depression” playlist.

A whole new crop of families must have moved into your parents’ neighborhood in the years since you moved out, because the streets are more alive with kids than you can ever remember them being, even when you were a kid yourself. Bikes and scooters lay abandoned on the sidewalks between homes, and you can hear the repeated echo of a basketball dribbling on a driveway, punctuated by distant, playful screaming.

Even in the daytime, you can tell these families have spared no expense when it comes to Christmas decor: some homes have every eave outlined in string lights, some have candy cane stakes dug into the perimeter of their perfectly manicured lawns, and some have been seemingly invaded by small armies of inflatable reindeer and snowmen. You can’t help but giggle a little at the inflatable decorations that have been set to turn off during the day, the way the airless material lays limp in the grass, giving the impression of a yard strewn with dead bodies.

But you remember what it looked like when you drove in last night, everything lit up and brought to life.

Your parents definitely didn’t have inflatable lawn decorations when you were a kid, but you’d get so excited every year when your dad would drag the ladder out and spend the day stringing up the simple rainbow lights you did have. You still remember the little spark of joy you’d feel in your chest when the colors would click on after dark, the way you would run outside every night just to see them twinkle, your breath puffing steam clouds in the air, your bare feet freezing on the ice-cold driveway.

It felt like magic then. But somewhere along the way you grew up. And now that feeling’s gone. Even at night, the lights just look like… lights.

Distracted as you are by the music in your ears and thoughts of your childhood that have brought you to a standstill on the sidewalk, you don’t notice what’s happening until it’s too late. 

A blur of red and white is suddenly circling around and between your legs, and you feel something twining over your ankles, then tugging with a force that threatens to knock you off balance. As you lean forward in an attempt to right yourself, the chaos in question slows enough for you to realize it’s a fluffy white dog in a red sweater, who has excitedly tangled you up in his leash.

You manage to find the looped end of the leash and slowly get yourself unwrapped while the dog continues to pant and jump and occasionally yap at you. With your legs freed, you squat down for a proper greeting, laughing to yourself as he lifts up on his hind legs, balancing his paws on your knee to lick an enthusiastic greeting across your cheek.

“Hi, puppy,” you murmur, trying to get him to hold still long enough to read the name on his tag. A voice beats you to it.

“Moni!”

When you glance up to find Moni’s owner jogging up the sidewalk, you have to make a conscious effort to keep your own tongue in your mouth, because good lord, he is fine.

He’s tall, towering over you even once you bring yourself back up to standing, and the black workout tank and athletic shorts he’s wearing do absolutely nothing to hide the thick, well-defined muscles of his arms, chest, and thighs.

Despite his lack of clothing in the cool winter air, you can see his face and neck are slick with sweat, his white-blonde hair damp with it too. There’s even a dark patch that’s soaked his shirt at his sternum, making the firm swell of his pecs that much more apparent. It takes you an extra second to break eye contact with them, but when you do finally manage to drag your gaze up to meet his, you realize his face is just as nice of a view: honey-tan skin, full lips, and cute dimples that pop as he gives a sheepish, appreciative laugh.

“Thank you,” he says, a little breathless; his voice is deep and slightly husky in a way that makes your face grow hot. You blink stupidly at him for a few moments, your mind reeling, and then it occurs to you that you still have his dog’s leash in your hand.

“No problem,” you manage, handing the looped end back over and double-checking to make sure your ankles are still free from their entanglement. Though now that this man is holding the leash, you kind of wish they weren’t.

“Moni’s usually good about not taking off when I stop to do a circuit,” he explains, like you’re the dog owner police. It makes you wonder what kind of Karens must have moved into this neighborhood since you left it. “I don’t know why he ran, maybe he saw a squirrel or something.”

“It’s okay,” you reassure him with a smile, admiring Moni as he stretches and settles into a polite seated pose. “I like his sweater.”

“Thanks,” he laughs again. “C’mon Mon.”

You can’t help focusing on how big this guy’s hands are as he slips his fingers through the end of Moni’s leash, tugging slightly as if to encourage the dog back in the direction he came from.

Moni blinks and stays right where he is.

“You little shit,” his owner huffs under his breath, and you have to bite down on your bottom lip to keep from laughing. You distantly realize you should probably leave them to it and continue on your walk, but this is too entertaining to turn away from now. Your hot neighbor tries one more futile attempt to get Moni to move, then seems to give up entirely.

He stoops down with a low grunt of effort that makes your core flutter as he grabs the fluffy dog and hoists him up in his arms. You try to force yourself to stop noticing the way his biceps flex, the fact that the muscles of his arms are nearly bigger than your head.

“Thanks again,” he says with a final grateful smile, and your only response is to swallow hard and stand there like an idiot as he turns and carries his spoiled dog back home.

When you arrive for your interview, you’re delighted to discover that Indigo Coffee is nothing like your last job. It’s warm and bright, with large picture windows that flood the space in sunlight, and there’s a cozy personal touch to it, the likes of which you’d certainly never see in your former corporate shell of a workplace. The sitting area is dotted with live edge wood tables and mismatched chairs. There are an array of framed paintings on the walls that look handmade in a good way, simple yet bold brush-stroke lines in a deep blue color scheme. And, you realize as your eyes linger, the shop is absolutely overflowing with plants: in simple clay pots lined up along the windows, free-standing between tables, and tucked into bookshelves placed artfully throughout the space. 

You step closer to inspect one as you wait on your interviewer and are pleased to see that it’s real, that they all are— no waxy fake leaves jammed into a thick block of cement, but real greenery sprouted in real dirt, deep brown soil gone soft from what must have been a recent watering. These are plants someone cares for, coaxed and kept alive by someone’s time and patience and love. The thought makes you smile a little despite yourself.

There’s still fucking Christmas music playing, but you figure that’s inescapable this time of year.

“Are you here for the interview?” someone asks over your shoulder. As you turn away from the plant, you wonder if you’re imagining that the voice in question sounds slightly familiar, and then you find yourself once again staring up at a fine-ass man with white-blonde hair and a sweet pair of dimples.

He’s clearly showered since your last encounter, and is now slightly more covered up in a pair of faded jeans and a gray-green flannel thrown over a black shirt emblazoned with bold white lettering: Protect Trans Kids.

“Oh.” Moni’s owner blinks back at you, and the shock on his face is so apparent that a giggle escapes your lips before you can stop it. “Uh, hi again.”

“Hi,” you echo, equally flustered, before realizing you failed to answer his initial question. “Oh, yeah. Yes. I am. The interview. I’m— that’s me.” So well-spoken, you mentally kick yourself.

One dimple deepens slightly as he extends a hand. “Kim Namjoon. Owner of Indigo Coffee. And the world’s least obedient dog, as you saw earlier.”

You offer your best handshake in return and a smile that you surprisingly don’t have to force as you give Namjoon your name. He gestures to a table in the corner, and you each pull back a chair to have a seat. You try to banish any potential horny thoughts from your brain, but shifting into interview mode proves difficult as he rests his large hands on the table in front of him, drumming idly along to the horribly cheery music.

You manage to tear your gaze away from Namjoon’s fingers when he speaks again. “If it’s cool with you, we can just chat a little? I’m not so good at conducting formal interviews. Too inauthentic.”

It’s like you can feel some of the tension release from your shoulders. “I— yeah. That sounds great.”

“Cool,” he nods, and you try to ignore the rush of heat up your neck at the intensity of his stare. Professional, be professional. “So I saw on your resume that it looks like your last few jobs were out of town. Did you just move here?”

“Moved back,” you say quickly. “Yeah. I grew up here, actually.”

Namjoon’s eyes widen a little in clear interest. “Really? What brings you back?”

You purse your lips as you consider how to phrase it. “My life… kind of fell apart. So. I moved in with my parents for a bit. Like a winner.” His dimples pop when he smiles at your joke, and you drop your gaze to the table. “Just trying to figure out what’s next, and find something seasonal in the meantime.”

“Well, we could certainly use the help,” Namjoon admits. When you chance a glance up, there’s a look on his face like he’s choosing his next words carefully. “I saw in your application that you were terminated from your last position.” He leans in, lowering his voice slightly as he continues. “I’m gonna be honest, I hate that we even ask that question. But can you tell me a bit about what happened?”

You keep your stare fixed on the wood grain in front of you as you try to stay calm. “Well, if I can be honest too...” Squeezing your eyes shut, you tell yourself to just say it. “I was fired for trying to unionize.”

“Oh.” Namjoon sounds surprised, but you can’t manage to look at him. “Really?” You nod slowly, biting down on your bottom lip. “That’s— fucking illegal.”

That makes your gaze snap back up to meet his. His brow is furrowed slightly, a muscle in his jaw pulled tight.

“Yeah,” you say belatedly. “Yeah, I know. They made up a bunch of fake excuses as to why I was fired, but I knew what it really was. It was because I wanted them to actually pay us what we were worth, and hire more workers so we weren’t being scheduled to death. And I was getting everyone else riled up too, and I guess it scared them.”

Namjoon sits back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest. “Huh. Man. Well, I’m sorry that happened to you.”

It takes you a second to process what you’re hearing. Union has always been a scary word for any person in upper management you’ve previously encountered. You hadn’t expected this to be so… easy. For him to understand, or sympathize. “I— yeah. I am too.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” Namjoon continues quickly, “I think it’s great, what you tried to do. I’m very pro-union.” He pauses for a moment, his face twisting slightly in thought. “I mean, admittedly, we don’t have one here. Granted, there are only five of us. I should probably ask, though, if they want one.”

You can’t quite hide your smile. “I’m gonna take a guess that you probably treat your employees pretty well as-is.”

“I try,” he says with a shake of his head. His eyes meet yours again. “So, here’s the deal. You have a ton of experience, and with holiday time off and a few people out sick, I’m super understaffed right now. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders, and hopefully you feel like you can come to me if you have any issues, without fearing retaliation.”

You blink slowly, and he must be able to read the disbelief on your face. “What I’m saying is I’m offering you the seasonal position,” he clarifies. “Is that— do you, uh, accept?”

“Yes.” The word is chased by a dazed laugh, and Namjoon’s dimples resurface around a small smile.

“Cool. I told you I’m bad at interviews,” he huffs, rubbing a hand at the back of his neck. You try to ignore the swell of his bicep, clearly visible even beneath his bulky flannel. “I know this is a lot to ask, but. Is there any chance you can start, like, right now? Because Jimin’s shift ends in…” He tilts a little, fishing his phone from the front pocket of his jeans, and his mouth drops open in surprise when he gets a glimpse at the time.

“Oh, shit,” Namjoon murmurs, and then he raises his voice to call across the mostly empty store. “Jimin-ah! I’m so sorry!”

You turn around, your gaze landing on the barista leaned up against the counter next to the register. His dyed-gray hair dusts over his eyes, which pull into crescent moons as he laughs. “It’s cool. I knew you were almost done. But I’m gonna clock out now, if she’s good?”

“Yeah,” you answer, turning back to Namjoon. “Yeah, I can start now.”

The two of you move behind the counter, and you sweep your hair up out of your face while Namjoon starts to go through a basic run-down of where everything is located. The overhead bell tinkles as Jimin shoulders the front door open, and he lifts a hand over his head in parting.

“See you after the holidays!”

“Alright,” Namjoon says as he waves to Jimin, a little breathless from having rambled on for the better part of several minutes. “That was a lot. Do you want to just start on register? I feel like that should be easy enough, and I can train you on everything as people come in, since it’s pretty dead right now.”

You shrug. “Works for me.”

Within half an hour, there’s a line out the door, and Namjoon has managed to spill espresso grounds all over his shoes for a second time.

“Ah, shit,” he groans, taking a step back. “Sorry. Been a minute since I’ve had to be back here.”

“It’s okay,” you try to reassure him, but you can see from the faces of the customers who have been waiting on their drinks for several minutes— including one who’s had hers remade three times, all of them incorrect— that it is very much not okay. You certainly lack the people skills to smooth over any of Namjoon’s mistakes, and you can feel a stress-induced eye twitch starting to flare up, brought on by Kelly Clarkson’s incessant yuletide belting.

You give your boss five more minutes, wherein he scalds his hand on the milk steamer, forgets about a cookie in the warmer until it’s burnt entirely black, and nearly turns the blender on with the lid off, before you finally intervene.

“Hey, Namjoon?” You do your best to keep your expression pleasant when he glances over at you, wiping at his brow with the back of his hand. “Maybe we should switch?”

“A-are you sure?” he stammers, apparently torn between wanting to be a good boss and a clear desire to just take the L. “I feel bad, this is literally your first shift.”

“I think I can handle it,” you reassure him, lowering your voice a little. “Let me take care of the drinks, and you can do your… endearing golden retriever thing. Keep the people entertained.”

Color blooms in the apples of his cheeks as his dimples make a brief appearance. “Oh, okay. Can do. Just let me know if you need help.”

You can’t imagine a universe where his clumsiness could in any way be considered helpful, but you keep that thought to yourself as you smile at him. At least he’s cute.

Things improve dramatically once your roles are reversed: as you expected, Namjoon is far more charismatic than he is coordinated, and he chats endlessly with the people waiting on their drinks, hardly pausing long enough to take a breath, while you scramble around trying to get your bearings in a new environment. The steady stream of customers doesn’t let up for the rest of the evening, until the last few finally trickle out of the store a few minutes after close, and you waste no time locking the door behind them with a sigh of relief.

You spin around, letting your back thud against the door for a moment as you watch Namjoon fight with a broom and dustpan in a futile attempt to get espresso dust out of the grout between the tiles. There’s a dull ache starting to thud in your skull, and it’s only deepened by the shrill opening notes of another fucking a cappella song.

“Namjoon?” you ask as you cross toward the counter, and his head instantly snaps up. “Do you think we could maybe turn off the Christmas music?”

“Oh, sure.” He’s already fumbling to grab his phone, and he taps a few buttons until the music suddenly switches, a soft voice starting to croon over an old school beat.

“Thanks,” you say, and you can’t help the pity smile that pulls up your mouth when he returns to his useless task. “I think the grout might be a lost cause, but I can go ahead and mop whenever you’re ready.”

He rights himself with a defeated sigh, nodding his head to the storage closet in the back. You follow his lead to retrieve the mop, then set about filling up the bucket with water and cleaning solution. Namjoon’s voice floats in from the front of the shop as he busies himself with his own closing tasks.

“Imagine smokin’ weed in the street without cops harassin’ / Imagine goin’ to court with no trial / Lifestyle cruisin’ blue Bahama waters / No welfare supporters, more conscious of the way we raise our daughters...”

You’re laughing a little as you roll the bucket out, starting at the door to work your way back. “Is this… Nas?”

He glances up, like he’s just remembered other people exist in the world. “Yeah, sorry. I can turn it off.”

“No, no,” you say quickly when he starts to reach for his phone again. “This is good. Much better than Pentatonix. I’m just… you really know every word.”

Namjoon shrugs, clearly embarrassed. “He’s my favorite.”

The revelation surprises you, and you pause to think as you pull the mop back and forth over the tile floor. It didn’t even occur to you that Namjoon would have a favorite kind of music, apart from the soft elevator muzak you imagine must play on a steady loop in his brain, given the way he fumbles through life.

“I actually wanted to be a rapper,” his voice comes back, and you look up again, your interest piqued. “When I was younger. But you know. Life had other plans.”

“Ah yes, the rapper to coffee shop owner pipeline,” you muse, and he barks a laugh that you wish you didn’t find so hot. Shaking your head, you force yourself to look back down at the espresso-studded tile, doing your best to shove your attraction aside and not think about it. He’s your boss, dumbass.

Still, it’s hard to ignore, particularly as he continues to rap along to each song that comes on, his voice deeper and huskier than you’ve heard it thus far in casual conversation. He doesn’t miss a word, and you can’t deny that it’s impressive. And sexy. Fuck.

Once the floor has been successfully mopped and everything else is put back together, you hop up onto the counter to wait for the tile to dry, and your gaze lingers over Namjoon’s large hands as he cashes out the register. He flips through the bills in time to the music, still humming under his breath as he goes, and you do your best to hold in your laugh when he inevitably loses count and has to start over from the beginning. Thankfully the second attempt sticks, and he smiles proudly to himself as he zips everything up into the deposit bag.

“First shift down,” he announces, as if you might have forgotten, and then his eyes find yours and you swear your breath gets stuck in your throat. “How do you feel?”

It only occurs to you now how close he’s standing to you, and with the way your legs are casually dangling over the edge of the counter, it wouldn’t take much for him to step between them. And god, he’s so damn tall, you’re practically eye-to-eye.

“Uh,” you manage, your mouth suddenly gone dry. “Good. I feel good.”

“That’s good,” he answers, his voice dipping into that throaty tone again. You find yourself wondering absentmindedly if maybe Namjoon has a customer service voice, too, and then for the briefest flash of a moment, his gaze flits from your eyes to your lips and back again. It’s so quick, you can’t be sure it even really happened.

You tell yourself it’s just your exhausted post-shift brain seeing things that aren’t there, wanting this fine-ass man to be into you, too.

A sudden bang on the front door makes you flinch so hard, you come dangerously close to kneeing Namjoon in the crotch. He takes a large step back as you whip around to look over your shoulder, only to see a kid’s face pressed to the glass, framed by two small hands. You’ve never been great at telling the age of children on sight, but this one looks like… maybe a middle schooler?

“Whose fucking kid is that?” you say automatically, blinking, dumbfounded. Namjoon’s laugh is a low rumble behind you.

“That would be mine.”

It takes several days for the shock to wear off. Your boss has a kid. Kim “could’ve burnt the building down with a single cookie” Namjoon is at least partially responsible for keeping another human being alive. Which means you have a crush… on a father.

A father who also happens to be your boss.

You try not to think about any of it.

There’d been brief introductions when you left the shop that first night, but all you’d really managed to glean was the kid’s name, Sol, and their pronouns. As someone who is historically terrible with children, you’d excused yourself the minute Namjoon locked the front door, after what felt like an eternity spent watching him pat each of his pockets twice before he finally managed to find his keys.

“I hope it wasn’t weird,” your boss says out of nowhere in the middle of your next shift, during a much-needed moment of peace after the morning rush. “For you to meet Sol like that. It’s just been hard, since their mom, uh…”

Namjoon trails off, leaving the sentence unfinished. You glance up, eyes widening as you put the pieces together.

“Oh my god,” you breathe. “I’m so sorry.”

His gaze meets yours, and it’s like you can see the wheels in his head turning before he catches up. “No, no,” he says quickly, and then he starts to laugh. “Wow, I really did not start that sentence well. She’s not dead. She just got married, and she’s on her honeymoon for most of December. The logistics have been hard, is what I meant.”

An embarrassed heat creeps up your neck, and your elbows thud against the countertop as you press your face into your hands, attempting to muffle your own laughter. “In my defense,” you groan, “you really made it sound like you had a dead wife.”

“Not dead! She’s fine!” Namjoon’s dimples are as prominent as you’ve ever seen them when you peek up at him from your full-body cringe. “Very much alive, very much not my wife.” The muscles in his arms flex as he crosses them over his chest, leaning up against the counter next to the register. “Never was, actually.”

“Really?” you answer automatically, your damned curiosity getting the better of you.

He nods, his voice a little more serious when he continues, rambling on in the way that you’ve already started to suspect is his default setting, talking as if to fill empty space. “We were seventeen when we got pregnant. I knew we were young then, but I don’t think I really realized. Now that I’m almost thirty, I know: seventeen is fucking young.”

The line of his jaw tightens, thoughtful, as his gaze sweeps over the floor. “I thought I wanted to marry her, or at least felt obligated to. Like it was the right thing to do, but. We didn’t have any money, and then it all got so hectic after Sol was born. Didn’t even take a year for us to realize it wasn’t gonna work, not for us.”

You blink, trying to take in all the new information. “That sounds really hard.”

“It was,” Namjoon admits. “But we were both on the same page about it. That no matter what, Sol had to come first.” He glances up with a shrug. “It’s all good now. She’s a great co-parent, and her new husband is really good for her. And… well, I have Indigo.”

The tinkling of the bell at the front door snaps you out of a daze, makes you realize you’ve been staring at him, dumbfounded. You do your best to shoot Namjoon a soft smile, and to ignore the pang in your chest as he turns to greet the customer that’s just wandered in, already starting to babble on about the weather.

You find yourself more grateful for Namjoon’s presence with each passing shift, in a way that you try to convince yourself is thoroughly platonic. Between fairly steady work and his very steady chatter, your time spent in the warm, sunny space of Indigo turns out to be a good distraction from your own miserable excuse for a life. The repetitive motions of making drink after drink are oddly comforting, and you have to admit, Namjoon really is good with the customers.

“Peppermint mocha to go.”

You do your best to follow up the sentence with a polite smile as you set a drink down for the customer who has done nothing but scowl at you the whole time you were making it. The silent prayer you’ve sent out to the universe that he’ll take whatever personal problem he has elsewhere and leave you alone has clearly gone unanswered.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he snaps, and you can feel your shoulders creep up towards your ears in anticipation of nothing good. Here we fucking go.

You blink twice, trying to keep your service persona engaged. “I’m sorry, is that not what you ordered?” It is, you know it is, you heard him say it.

“No, that’s mine,” the man quickly responds, reaching out to snatch the cup in a motion that makes you flinch. “But do you hear this fucking song?”

The honest answer is no: at this point the ever-present Christmas music might as well be white noise, so you have to make a conscious effort to tune back in and listen. It’s a few seconds, and then you pick up on the melody. “…Last Christmas?”

“Uh, yeah,” he continues, explaining like you’re stupid. “The original. Last Christmas by Wham!” When it’s clear you still aren’t putting the pieces together, he scoffs in pure frustration. “You just made me lose Whamageddon! I’ve won every year for the last five years, I can’t believe you would even put this on your fucking playlist!”

Your face pulls into an incredulous grimace before you can think to control it. “Uh, I’m sorry, but I didn’t make the—”

He cuts you off. “First off, I don’t need the fucking attitude. And surely you’re at least capable of checking what songs are on there, right? That’s not too advanced for you to handle?”

You didn’t even hear Namjoon walk up from the back office, but he’s suddenly stepping in front of you, and you’re more than glad to move back and let him handle this dude before you end up in jail. “Woah, woah, alright,” Namjoon interjects, his voice loud enough to carry. “What’s going on?”

The man beats you to it. “I’m trying to file a legitimate complaint and she’s rolling her fucking eyes and getting an attitude with me!”

“It’s the song,” you explain briefly, trying to keep everything about your expression neutral. “He’s mad that we’re… playing Wham.”

Namjoon’s face twists in an expression that you would find funny if you weren’t so fucking livid, one that you’re pretty sure is the mirror image of your own reaction minutes earlier. “The song? Seriously?”

You can see the guy scrambling, clearly starting to get embarrassed at his own dramatics. “Alright, I don’t have time for this. I guess I just need to take my business elsewhere, because this is ridiculous. What ever happened to the customer is always right?”

Namjoon goes silent for a minute, and you try to ignore the way the look on his face makes your pulse quicken, thudding brightly in the hollow of your neck. His voice is deadly serious when he speaks again. “I appreciate that you’re upset, but if you’re going to look my employee in the face, after she just performed a service for you, and disrespect her like that? Over a fucking song? Nah, I’m not gonna tolerate it. Maybe the next time you want someone to make you a toothpaste drink, you should take your ass to Starbucks.”

It takes every ounce of strength you have to keep the reaction off your face until the asshole has stormed out the front door, nasty drink in hand. As the bell finally tinkles to signal his departure, you collapse forward, just barely catching yourself on the counter so you don’t crumple straight down to the floor.

“Oh my god.” Your laugh of disbelief comes out more like a groan, at the ridiculous complaint and your boss’ insanely attractive comeback alike. “I fucking hate this time of year.”

“Hey.” The word is punctuated by Namjoon’s shoulder bumping into yours, and you look back up at him, still laughing a little at your own misery. His eyes search yours, sincere. “Assholes are assholes no matter what season it is. I’m sure that guy finds plenty of things to complain about the other eleven months of the year, too. Don’t let him ruin it for you.”

You can’t help rolling your eyes, if only because you can do it freely now, without a man standing over you and yelling about your ‘bad attitude’. “I guess,” you huff. “And thank you.”

Namjoon shakes his head, like it’s nothing. “Chin up, okay?”

The two of you breeze through closing that night, familiar enough to fall into a steady routine now. You’re wiping everything down behind the counter and humming along to Tupac when Namjoon’s voice drags you back out of your thoughts in a way you’ve already grown accustomed to.

“You know…”

You glance up, only to realize that he’s started to flip chairs on top of tables to clear the floor, and is grabbing them two at a time, one in each hand. The image makes you a little dizzy, and you tell yourself to focus on his words, not his biceps.

“I think we make a pretty good team,” he concludes.

“Yeah,” you breathe, trying to keep your composure at the unexpected compliment. “I was thinking the same thing. And thanks again for, you know. Handling that guy.”

Namjoon shrugs, like it’s nothing. “Hey, you’re doing me a favor, taking this seasonal job. I’m not about to let anyone fuck with you.”

You bite down on a smile as you head towards the back to grab the mop, and then you hear a loud bang on the front door— it’s another sound you’ve gotten used to in your brief time at Indigo. There’s the click of the deadbolt, chased by the tinkling overhead bell and Namjoon’s chiding voice. “Homie, if you break my door I’m gonna make you get a job to pay me back for it.”

“You think I don’t know about child labor laws?” you hear Sol retort, clearly not intimidated, and the attitude in their voice has you biting back a laugh.

Wheeling the mop bucket out of the storage closet, you glance up to see Namjoon jut his chin toward the large front window, indicating Sol to take a seat on the ledge. “Feet off the floor, she’s tryna clean.”

Sol complies, plopping down in the window with their eyes glued to their phone as Namjoon disappears back toward the office to grab his things. You watch as Sol pulls their knees into their chest so their chunky black boots clear the tile, and you can’t help noticing that said boots are adorned with oversized silver bat-shaped buckles, reflecting the amber streetlight gleam that leaks through the window.

“I like your boots,” you say, more to yourself than Sol, half expecting them to be so engrossed in TikTok that they don’t even hear you.

But to your surprise, Sol looks up.

“Thanks,” they say, glancing at their feet. “I just got them. I’m in my post-hardcore era right now.”

The statement is delivered without a trace of irony, and you do your best to hold in another amused giggle as you respond. “Wow, you are… so much cooler than I was when I was your age.”

Sol seems to consider this for a moment, then shrugs. “I mean, you didn’t have the internet back then, right?”

The question hits you like a train, and you have to pause and press a hand over your heart at the impact. “Okay, ouch, I’m not that old.” They grimace apologetically, and you lean up against the mop handle in thought. “But the internet definitely wasn’t like it is now. The only social media that really existed was Myspace, and my parents wouldn’t let me make one. I mostly just used the internet to, like, play RuneScape.”

“Oh shit,” Sol remarks, sounding remarkably like Namjoon in the process. “You played old school?!”

It’s like you can feel your bones crumbling to dust inside your body, and you wince as you resume dragging the mop over the tile. “Hey, back then it was the only kind of RuneScape we had. But yes, you can consider me a… founding father of that game.”

“That’s cool!” they exclaim, sounding so genuine it makes your head spin. When did RuneScape become cool again? “My friends and I play old school all the time. It’s the best, for real.”

You shake your head in disbelief as you continue to mop, and a long pause settles between you, with Sol’s interest clearly returning to their phone.

Fuck, you think to yourself, what else do kids even talk about? Marvel movies? It’s like your mind has gone totally blank, unable to conjure up a single topic of conversation, and you practically huff out an audible sigh of relief when their voice breaks the silence again.

“I think my dad has been happier since you started working here.”

The mop nearly slips out of your hands entirely, and you glance up, eyes wide. “I— really?”

Sol nods, playing absentmindedly with the strings of their black hoodie, then bringing the end of one up to their mouth to gently chew on. “It’s a theory I have. A game theory. I plan to ask additional follow-up questions tonight.”

At this, you can’t help but laugh. “Well, I’m sure your investigation will be very thorough.”

There’s a flash of a dimple in Sol’s cheek, like the mirror image of their dad. “I can tell you what he says, if you want.”

You wonder how telling your own smile is. “I mean… I can’t say I’m not curious.” You’re distantly aware of the sound of the office door closing, chased by Joon whistling to himself, and you lower your voice conspiratorially as you drop the mop back into the bucket. “I look forward to hearing what you find out.”

Monday morning, when you wake up to the omnipresent smize of Nick Jonas, you can’t help smiling back. 

You made it through your first week of work, and it wasn’t even that torturous. And best of all, Namjoon reminded you the night before that Indigo is closed on Mondays, which gives you an entire day to spend as you please. A real day off, which was truly unheard of at your last job, where you’d spend your non-scheduled days still anticipating an incoming emergency text asking you to cover a shift last-minute. More often than not, you’d end up working after all.

“But not today,” you announce to Nick.

A grand plan has already started to form in your head, one that involves a party size bag of Hot Cheetos and all eight episodes of The Fabulous, and yet. There’s a lingering urge at the back of your brain that you can’t quite ignore. With all the day-off energy you can muster, you drag yourself out of bed and tug on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, then shuffle into the bathroom to at least make yourself halfway decent.

You’re just going for a quick walk around the block to get some fresh air, you tell yourself. That’s all. Certainly no other reason.

It’s only a few minutes after you step out your front door that a fluffy white blur nearly collides with your shins, and when you stoop down to lift Moni into your arms, you once again can’t keep the smile off your face. Huh, who could’ve seen this coming?

But when you glance up, there’s no hot buff man jogging up the sidewalk after his dog. In fact, you realize as you look back at the ball of fluff in your arms, he isn’t wearing a leash or harness at all, just another cute sweater.

“Are you even supposed to be out here?” you ask Moni. His only answer is to drag his tongue up the side of your face.

You shift him a little in your arms so you can fumble for the tag attached to his collar, and thankfully, there’s an address listed. It takes you a second to get your bearings in the neighborhood, having not lived here for close to a decade, but it eventually comes back to you where the listed street is, and you start to walk. Moni is already blinking sleepily in your arms, clearly enjoying his preferred mode of transportation.

A laugh bubbles up in your chest as you approach the house in question— even if you hadn’t had Moni’s tag to guide you, finding his home would’ve been easy enough as soon as you passed this street, because you can hear old school hip-hop bumping through a speaker despite still being several houses down the block. You suppose Namjoon can get away with it during the day, when all the neighborhood kids are still in school.

As you make your way up the driveway, you realize the music is actually coming from behind the house, and when you follow the path that leads around back, you spot the culprit: a simple wooden-slat fence surrounds the yard, and the gate has been left wide open.

Before you can even make it over the threshold, a familiar voice reaches your ears, sounding much closer than the music. “Ah, shit.”

Namjoon comes barreling through the open gate so fast he practically runs you over, and Moni yaps, like he’s annoyed at being jostled as you quickly try to stumble out of his owner’s path.

“Oh. Uh, hi.”

You wonder if you’ll ever be able to take in how shock looks on Namjoon’s features without giggling a little. Today is certainly not that day. It’s just so endearing, the way his eyes widen and his mouth pulls into a perfect o-shape.

“Hi,” you breathe out around your laughter, trying to ignore the heat that flushes into your face when his dimples appear in return. “I think I found something that belongs to you.”

With a wave of his hand and several profuse thank yous, you follow Namjoon back through the gate, and wait until he firmly shuts it behind you before letting Moni down to trot off across the yard. It’s only now that you take Namjoon in properly: he’s in a gray hoodie under a pair of denim overalls, both of which are splattered artfully with paint in a variety of colors.

“I was just in my studio,” he explains, tipping his head toward the small shed in the yard, which you quickly realize is also the source of the music that led you here. “Doin’ some art. Do you, uh… wanna see?”

“Yeah, okay,” you answer with a nod.

“Fair warning, I’m really bad at it,” he calls over his shoulder as he leads you in the open studio door, raising his voice to be heard over the music. He reaches for his phone, propped up in the windowsill, to turn the volume down a few notches.

There’s an easel up against the far wall holding what must be his current project, a half-finished scene that you realize upon closer inspection is thousands of tiny dots of color, painstakingly blotted onto the canvas to form a mountain landscape at a distance. A few more pieces that he’s already completed have been leaned up against another wall to dry, one featuring an abstract array of featherlight brushstrokes, and another where the paint’s been globbed on in thick layers.

Namjoon is talking a mile a minute as you inspect the canvases. “I thought maybe I’d do cyanotypes today, but it’s not sunny enough, and I’ve made that mistake before. I’m really into texture right now, so I’m trying out some different techniques with paint. I want to get better at pointillism, but it’s a lot harder than you’d think it would be. ‘Cause it’s just dots, right? But you have to be able to see the forest for the trees, too.”

“These are amazing,” you finally manage to murmur, and to your surprise, the compliment actually renders him silent. When you turn back over your shoulder to look at him, he’s glancing down, almost like he’s embarrassed.

“Thanks. But I just do it for fun. ‘Cause I love art.”

“I can tell,” you say, and when he looks up, you offer him a smile you hope reads as encouraging. “Did you make the art at work, too?”

He nods, still sheepish, and that answer also surprises you. You recall thinking on your first day that the paintings hung on the walls looked handmade, but it never crossed your mind that they might have been made by Namjoon’s hands. Maybe because you’ve grown so accustomed to seeing him drop and break things, you haven’t ever considered him as also capable of… creation.

And yet, here he is. Proving you wrong.

“Sorry,” Namjoon’s voice makes you refocus on him, and your brow furrows in confusion at the unexpected apology. “This is literally your one day away from me and here I am, taking up your time. Thanks again for bringing Moni back.”

“It’s okay.” You shrug. “Don’t have much going on today, honestly. I never really know what to do with myself when I’m not working. Which I’m aware is very sad.”

“Well, uh,” Namjoon starts, and when he takes a single step closer, you swear you feel something flutter in your stomach— or maybe lower. “Sol’s got a half-day today, since it’s the last day before break, so I’m picking them up in a bit. And we were gonna go on a hike, probably take Moni too. You’re welcome to join us, if you’d like?”

Your eyes widen at the invitation. “Oh. That sounds great. I mean, if you’re sure I wouldn’t be intruding?”

He shakes his head, the corner of his mouth pulling up just so. “Nah. I actually think Sol really likes you. At least, they wouldn’t stop asking questions about you at dinner last night.”

“Is that right?” You do your best to keep your expression neutral.

Namjoon drives far enough north that there’s actually snow on the ground when you climb out of his front seat. You shove your hands into the pockets of your jacket as you follow him across the gravel parking lot towards the trailhead, a few paces behind Sol and Moni.

Sol shoots an expression of pure mischief at you over their shoulder, and then immediately starts to sprint up the marked path through the woods, Moni easily keeping up.

“Bye, nerds!” you hear them call before they disappear between the trees.

“Stay on the trail!” Namjoon shouts back, sounding as dad-like as you’ve ever heard him, and you can’t help but laugh. The two of you quicken your steps slightly to not fall too far behind, tracking the set of boot and paw-prints they’ve left to mark their trail.

For a moment, it’s silent between you, save the crunching of snow underfoot. It’s nice, being out in nature like this, time spent with Namjoon where you aren’t suffering through Christmas music and ungrateful customers. Where you can just… breathe. It makes you feel a little less sorry for yourself, a little less fixated on your own miserable life.

You glance over at him as that strange seasonal melancholy starts to settle into your bones again. “Are the holidays… better? With a kid?”

Namjoon makes a face, like he’s surprised by the question. “I mean, they’re definitely different. Then again, it’s been a long time since I did the holidays without a kid— not since I was a kid myself. What do you mean by better?”

Self-consciousness washes over you, your gaze drifting down to the path beneath your feet. “I don’t know, there’s just… I can’t shake this weird feeling now that I’m back home. This time of year used to be so exciting for me when I was Sol’s age. Everything felt special. Magical. But now I’m back here, and nothing’s really changed, except me. But I just keep feeling like the magic is gone. It’s… sad.”

He nods, taking a moment before he responds, and he’s chuckling softly to himself when he finally does. “You know, it’s kinda funny. When Sol was younger I actually felt a lot of stress this time of year. I couldn’t really enjoy it, because I was too busy trying to make sure that they had the best holiday I could possibly give them. That they didn’t feel like they were getting any less, since, you know. Their mom and I aren’t together. It’s funny that you bring up the magic, because I put a lot of pressure on myself to make that magic happen. But now that they’re a little older, I don’t know, it’s different.”

“Different how?” you prompt.

A dimple deepens as he hesitates. “It’s gonna sound corny. But really, I realized that the holidays aren’t about the gifts, or the decorations, or every little thing going perfect. You can make yourself sick over that shit, and I did, but kids don’t really care about it.” He pauses, and for a second you think that might be it, but then he keeps going, eyes fixed on the towering pine trees ahead of you.

“The year I opened Indigo, I had sank so much fucking money into it that I was broke. Broke broke. I couldn’t afford a single gift, a tree, not even a turkey. Sol and I sat on the floor of my shitty apartment and ate Chapagetti and watched Friends. And I felt like the biggest fucking failure imaginable. And then you know what happened?”

“What?”

“Sol turned to me, and they said, ‘This is the best Christmas ever, because we get to hang out, just the two of us.’” He blinks a few times, like he’s trying to ward off tears, and his voice comes back slightly less steady than before. “I still don’t know if they said that because they really meant it, or if they could just tell that I needed to hear it. But either way, I thought to myself: how fucking lucky am I, to have such a great kid? Like what did I ever do to deserve them? I still feel that way.”

Namjoon shrugs, as if to shake off the emotion. “I don’t know. Maybe that’s not helpful to you, but. I just see it differently now. It’s not about the what, or the how. It’s about the who. Spending this time of year with the people you care about, and making sure they know you do. That’s the real magic.”

You realize the trail has carried you up the sloping hillside, and is now flattening out at the edge of a clearing, where you can see Moni chasing Sol through the snow, can hear their high-pitched laughter ringing out in the wide-open air.

When you turn back to Namjoon, he’s already looking at you.

“I’m sorry you don’t feel the magic right now. I didn’t either, for a long time. But it does come back, I believe that. It’ll come back for you, too.”

You blink up at him, overwhelmed by his willingness to be so honest, and by the wisdom of his words. “I— thank you,” you finally manage to say.

Namjoon doesn’t answer, just glances up to where Sol and Moni are still playing, and your gaze follows his out over the snow-covered field. Sol is dusting off a sizable stick, and they call out for Moni to fetch before launching it into a dramatic arc, high up in the air.

Moni watches it go, entirely disinterested, then settles onto his haunches in the snow with a yawn.

“You’re so bad at being a dog!” Sol shouts, and that’s enough to make you and Namjoon both dissolve into laughter. They look up at the sound, hands-on-hips, before yelling again, this time in your direction. “My dad said he has a crush on you!”

Your jaw drops open, and Namjoon’s eyes are wide as you’ve ever seen them when you look up at him.

“Damn, dude, you said you were gonna be chill about it!” he exclaims, and you press a hand to your mouth as a fresh wave of giggles overtakes you. Given how long Namjoon’s legs are, it only takes him a few strides to catch up to Sol. You stay a tentative distance behind him, but still close enough to be able to make out their conversation.

“Uncle Hobi says you need to be bolder with women,” Sol chides, matter-of-fact.

“Uncle Hobi says a lot of shit,” Namjoon mutters under his breath.

“He painted my nails,” Sol raises their voice, clearly talking more to you than to their dad, and holds up a hand for you to see, waggling their fingers proudly.

“They look great,” you call out in response.

Namjoon turns back to you as you step in closer, then juts his chin to a bench at the other side of the clearing. “Sit with me for a sec?”

With a nod, you follow him over, and he wipes the metal surface free of snow with his sleeve before gesturing for you to have a seat. For a moment, the two of you sit silently and watch Sol, who is already busying themself with building a snowperson while Moni slow-blinks encouragingly from a distance.

Namjoon’s words chase a heavy sigh. “I’m gonna be real with you, despite the fact that my child just stole my thunder. I like you a lot.”

Your heart swells in your chest, threatening to burst. “I-I like you too,” you stammer back immediately. “Have definitely been harboring my own crush… basically since I started working at Indigo.”

When you turn to look at him, it surprises you a little that he isn’t smiling. You can see a muscle working in his jaw, like he’s nervous.

“That’s the thing,” he finally relents. “Work. I don’t— I hadn’t really planned to tell you how I was feeling, or act on it. Because I’m your boss, and that means, you know. There’s a power dynamic there. And it would be… unethical of me to blur the lines like that, by getting involved with my employee. I wanted you to come out with us today because it was a chance for you and I to be equals, outside of work, but it’s not like that dynamic just goes away, you know? And I feel a little guilty about it now. Because I really like being around you so much, but I just. We can’t. It wouldn’t be right. Not while you’re working for me.”

You stare down at the snow under your boots as you take in his words, and you can’t help it. Try as you might to sit there and take his worries seriously, laughter flutters out of you before you can hold it in.

“What?” Namjoon asks, and you shake your head, trying to compose yourself.

“I really, really appreciate that you gave it so much thought,” you say, willing your voice to stay even. “I mean it.”

“It’s weighed really heavy on me, if I’m honest,” he says solemnly, and you glance over to see him staring into the middle distance, like he’s deep in contemplation.

Before you can stop yourself, you’re reaching out to where his hand rests on the bench between you and covering it with your own.

“Namjoon?” you ask softly, and it seems to snap him out of his trance enough to look back at you.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way,” you preface. “But if I have to choose between you and my stupid seasonal coffee shop job?” The smile starts to flicker over your face again. “Then I quit. I quit right now.”

“Oh thank god,” Namjoon breathes, and you can only make a soft noise of surprise when all at once, he takes your face in his hands and kisses you. You need a split second for the shock to wear off, and then you’re moving your mouth against his, one hand fisting tight in the fabric of his jacket. His lips are full and warm, and it feels like far too soon that he’s pulling back again, his cheeks flushed with color.

“Will you, uh—” he pauses, like he’s remembering how to form a sentence. “Will you still work tomorrow though? Jimin’s back after Christmas, but I really don’t think I can survive a shift on my own.”

“Yeah,” you murmur, still a little breathless from his kiss. “Yeah, I think you’d burn the place down.”

Unable to deny the claim, he laughs brightly as you untangle from each other, then gets to his feet before offering a hand to help you up. “We should head out, it’s gonna get dark soon.”

It’s true: across the wide clearing you can already see the sun threatening to sink back down between the trees, casting a golden-pink light that gleams off the snow and paints the world in warmth.

Sol leads the way back through the woods to the car, tugging Moni along by their leash, while you and Namjoon bring up the rear. You glance over at him a few times to catch him staring, and you scrape your teeth across your bottom lip, unable to keep the smile off your face, unable to stop yourself from mentally replaying the moment when he kissed you, over and over.

Just as you step under the shadow of a large tree, snow-covered branches stretching up toward the clear sky above you, Namjoon stops in the path. It’s so abrupt that you continue a few more paces before you even realize, and then you stop, too, glancing back towards him.

“Hey Sol,” Namjoon calls. “Think you and Moni can make it all the way back to the car in ten seconds?”

“I know what you’re doing,” comes Sol’s cheeky reply, but when Namjoon starts counting backwards from ten, you can hear the crunch of their boots taking off down the path.

“Eight, seven, six…” You watch as Namjoon cranes his neck until he deems Sol far enough out of sight, taking a step toward you as his counting trails off, and you find yourself pulled into him like a magnet. “Come here,” he murmurs, and then his hands are slipping up your waist and guiding you backwards until your back hits the trunk of the tree.

In true Namjoon fashion, he uses way more strength than is necessary for the task, and though your winter jacket cushions you from the impact, you’re smacked against the bark so hard that it knocks a dusting of snow off the branches above you, covering you both in flakes that stick to your hair and eyelashes. The sudden rush of cold makes you gasp into Namjoon’s mouth, but then he’s rolling his tongue over yours and you can’t think about anything else. A heavy pulse has started to thud between your legs at the heat of his breath in your mouth, the way his hips have you pinned to the tree, his body big enough to cover yours entirely.

“Joon,” you find the air to breathe as his lips trail hungrily down the slope of your neck. You rake a hand through his hair, white-blonde strands studded with snow, to try and pull his attention back, despite very much not wanting him to stop. “Joon, we should go. Before someone steals your kid.”

“Yeah,” he murmurs against your skin, and then his mouth is on yours again for one more kiss, like he can’t get enough. “Okay,” he finally grunts as he pulls away, sounding as begrudgingly responsible as you feel. Your head is still spinning; you want nothing more than to stay here and let him kiss you dizzy.

“Let’s go.”

He takes a step back so you can right yourself, reaching out to dust some snow off your jacket, and then the two of you resume walking up the path, sharing a breathless laugh like confidantes. You assume it’s just his standard clumsiness when Namjoon’s hand knocks into yours, but then his fingers are twining through yours purposefully, until you’re pressed palm to palm.

The rush of heat that blooms in your chest at his touch keeps you warm the rest of the way to the car.

Your last shift at Indigo somehow manages to feel exactly like every shift that’s come before it and completely new at the same time.

The work is the same, the steady stream of customers unchanged, the Christmas music still an aggravating soundtrack. But you no longer feel like you have to ignore the butterflies that flutter in your stomach when Namjoon asks you a question, or meets your gaze across the shop.

The only urges you have to suppress are indecent ones, made worse by Namjoon seemingly taking advantage of every opportunity to touch you: hip-checking you when you’re both standing at the front counter, pressing a hand to the small of your back whenever he has to squeeze behind you, leaning in a little closer than necessary to be heard over the noise of the milk steamer. It’s enough to make your breath hitch each time, and you can’t help but wonder if he feels the same relief at not having to hold back anymore.

Towards the end of the night, it surprises you when the typically consistent flow of customers starts to slow down, until it seems to have ceased entirely. You still have two hours to go, but you find yourself staring at the walls, every table empty, having done all the side work you can think of to distract yourself from boredom.

The sound of the front door’s lock clicking shut makes you glance up, only to see Namjoon flipping the open sign over.

“What are you doing?” you ask, blinking dumbfounded, and he looks over his shoulder at you with a shrug.

“It’s Christmas Eve Eve, and I’m the owner, so. We’re closing early. Effective immediately.” The decree makes you laugh a little, and his dimples wink back. “Let’s finish cleaning, I wanna show you something.”

In record time, you find yourself standing outside the front door of Indigo as Namjoon locks up, only tonight your hands are kept warm by the hot chocolates he’d made for the two of you as you closed. He takes his cup back once his hands are free, and you try a tentative sip from yours, now cool enough to drink without burning your mouth. Given what you witnessed of his barista abilities on your first day, you brace yourself for the worst, but your eyes widen in pleasant surprise when the liquid hits your tongue.

“Being a dad means getting really good at a few specific things,” he says by way of explanation as he unlocks his car doors, and you smile as you slip into the passenger seat.

It occurs to you as Namjoon starts to drive that you don’t actually know where he’s taking you, but when you open your mouth to ask at the next red light, he leans over you to fumble open the glovebox and you lose your train of thought. He fishes inside for a few seconds before retrieving a CD case, then makes quick work of prying it open and sliding the disc into the slot on the dash. You attempt to hide your giggle behind the rim of your cup.

“No wonder you like ‘90s music so much. You’re still living there,” you say, nodding to his antiquated stereo, and he smirks as he turns up the volume. 

“This is A Tribe Called Quest,” he remarks, quirking an eyebrow when he looks back at you. “You better show some respect.”

“Yes, sir,” you tease in response, and you don’t miss the color that flushes his cheeks.

The light turns green and he accelerates through the intersection, one hand on the steering wheel, the other reaching across the center console to grip playfully at your leg, a few inches above your knee. You can see his tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek, like he’s considering saying something, but when he finally opens his mouth, it’s just to rap along to the music.

It’s only a few songs later that he’s turning off the main road and following a barely-lit gravel path up to a large grassy parking lot, where he pulls into a space and kills the engine. You squint through the windshield, tucking your now-empty drink into the cupholder, but you can’t make out much except dusk and some vague lights over a hill in the distance.

“Was this crush thing just a ploy to murder me?” you quip, and Namjoon looks a little nervous when you glance over, like he took the question to heart. “I’m kidding,” you clarify quickly.

His voice comes out surprisingly soft. “This is one of my favorite things to do during the holidays. Thought it might help with, you know. The magic.”

Something cracks open inside you as you look back at him. “That’s… really sweet.”

“Ah,” he says, as if to dismiss the compliment. “You haven’t seen it yet. Maybe you’ll hate it. Come on.”

The two of you climb out of his car to start your trek to whatever he has in store, heading in the direction of the lights, and Namjoon’s hand slips into yours, like it’s already second nature. Easy and sweet. You grip tight to him, the night air colder now than it was when you left work, but then you finally crest over the hill, and the temperature is suddenly the furthest thing from your mind.

It takes you a moment to even understand what you’re looking at. The place is clearly some kind of arboretum, as the path ahead of you snakes through a perfectly manicured garden of various plants, but the only thing you can focus on are the lights. Every tree, bush, shrub, and other kind of greenery that lines the walkway has been intricately strung up with lights, each one boasting a different hue. The end result is nothing short of dazzling— a veritable rainbow of light and life and color, glittering diamond-bright against the deep-set night around you.

“Namjoon,” you breathe. “This is beautiful.”

There’s a dimple flickering at the corner of his mouth when you look up at him. “Thought you might like it.”

“I can’t believe I never knew this was here,” you remark, your eyes wide and blinking as you try to take it all in.

“Hey,” he answers with a shrug. “Maybe your hometown still has a few good surprises left in it.” You exhale a laugh as you lean into his side and he squeezes your joined hands; you can’t help feeling like you’ve already found the greatest surprise of them all.

After an hour spent wandering through the displays, each one more breathtaking than the last, Namjoon diverts you toward a small food stand. He comes away from the counter with a paper carton filled to the brim with long ropes of twisted, fried dough, warm enough to release steam into the air when you tear one apart to share, and dusted with cinnamon sugar that sticks to your fingertips.

The two of you take a few steps back down the path until you’re under an archway of glowing golden lights, then eventually come to a standstill, too hungry to do anything except devour your food.

Namjoon speaks first, mid-chew. “Can I ask you a question?”

“What’s up?” you answer as you reach for another piece.

He swallows, swiping the back of his hand over his mouth before he continues. “At your interview, you said your life fell apart. What happened?”

“Oh.” You smirk as you rip the braided dough in two, then in two again, before popping it into your mouth. “It seems a little silly now, but. I got fired from that last job, like I told you. And the same day, my roommate pretty much kicked me out of the apartment, because he wanted his boyfriend to move in. He was also my best friend, so. It stung a little. A lot. Moving back in with your parents at this age is humbling, to say the least. Feels a lot like starting over.”

Namjoon hums, like he understands. “I’m sorry about your friend.”

“Eh,” you respond noncommittally. “I should probably be happy for him. The timing just… wasn’t amazing.”

“You know,” he murmurs, thoughtful. “I thought my life was over when my ex and I got pregnant. Not even eighteen and about to be a dad. I really felt like… I don’t know, like that was it for me.” You nod slowly, unable to even fathom what that must’ve been like.

“But, here I am. Still alive.” Namjoon flashes you a grin, and you find yourself smiling back. “Still figuring it out. I actually feel like I’ve learned a lot from watching Sol grow up. They’re like—” He shakes his head, as if at a momentary loss for words. “They’re like a different person every month, I swear. What they’re into, how they dress. Who they wanna be. It makes me feel, I don’t know. Like it’s okay. Like I can change too.” He shrugs. “That’s the thing about life. It’s long. And even when you feel like it’s ended… it keeps going anyway.”

His words wash over you, and you’re so in awe that you can’t help but laugh.

“Ah, sorry.” He grimaces, suddenly self-conscious. “I know that was corny.”

“No, no,” you interject, trying to keep your composure. “I just think you are like, literally the wisest person I’ve ever met.”

The lights glimmering overhead aren’t enough to hide the way Namjoon blushes at the compliment, and then he pauses, as if recalling something. “Didn’t I nearly run the blender with the lid off on your first day?”

You double-over at the memory, and he’s laughing now, too. “Okay, okay. Fair point.” 

The thought keeps circling around in your brain as you dust cinnamon sugar from each other’s jackets and continue your way around the rest of the gardens, occasionally pausing to trade sticky-sweet kisses in the twinkling glow: you don’t want the night to end. You keep glancing over at Namjoon, wondering if he’s feeling the same way as he drives you back into town, the heat in his car on full blast, the CD player still underscoring your conversation.

“So, what do your Christmas plans look like?” he asks, eyes flitting briefly from the road to meet your gaze.

You fiddle with a button on your coat, wishing you had a less depressing answer. “I was just gonna spend it by myself. My parents already had a vacation in Hawaii planned, so I’m gonna do what I always do: hole up with booze and snacks and wait for it all to be over.”

He chuckles, tapping his fingertips absentmindedly against the steering wheel. “Well, I have about a hundred presents to wrap tomorrow night while Sol’s at their mom’s. Why don’t you come over and help? I can even provide the booze.” There’s a pause, and his voice comes back softer before you can respond. “You shouldn’t be alone.”

The corner of your mouth tugs up at his sincerity, the way he gently cares for you, has since day one. “Yeah, okay. I mean, you had me at free alcohol.”

Just like that, Namjoon is already turning back into the Indigo parking lot, where your car sits waiting for you. The two of you shrug off your seatbelts once he’s pulled into a space and parked, and he reaches to turn down the music before shifting in his seat to get a better look at you.

“So,” he starts, clearing his throat a little. “You are officially no longer my employee.”

“And you are no longer my boss,” you answer back, and a thrill buzzes in your chest at the statement.

“Which means,” he continues, doing his best to lean over the center console, “I can do this.” He barely finishes getting the words out before his mouth is on yours, your eyes fluttering closed, his kisses far less chaste than the ones you shared earlier. They’re open-mouthed and urgent this time, with Namjoon slipping his tongue into the heat of your mouth like he’s been waiting all night for it.

“Uh-huh,” you murmur between kisses, and then he dips his head lower, until his lips find the join of your neck and shoulder.

“And this,” he purrs before kissing you just as hungrily there, tongue-first. You can’t hold back the soft noise his mouth pulls out of you.

“Fuck,” you breathe as he sucks gently over the same spot, with just enough pressure to make you writhe in your seat. A shiver rolls up your spine when he hums against your skin, clearly pleased at your reaction.

“And, uh…” You slowly blink your eyes open when you feel the warmth of his breath dissipate, and he’s looking at you with his brow furrowed, as if attempting some difficult mental math. “Actually—” He reaches down for the lever to adjust his seat, and it drops all the way back with a graceless thud that makes a laugh flutter out of you. “Maybe you could take your jacket off and come over here?”

You don’t need him to ask you twice, and you’re moving quickly as you peel out of the thick material and scramble across the console to straddle him. You both groan a little when you duck down to press your mouth to his again, all of this suddenly feeling much more real now that you’re basically horizontal. His hands alight on your hips, tentative, like he isn’t quite sure what to do with them, and you smile against his lips.

“Touch me, Joon,” you instruct, and he does as he’s told.

His hands are warm as he slips them beneath the hem of your shirt, trailing over your skin until he reaches the band of your bra. When you hum encouragingly into his mouth, he keeps going, pushing the fabric up your chest so your tits spill free from their confinement. He cups one in each hand, and though you might’ve expected him to be clumsy or rough, given everything you’ve seen of him thus far, you’re surprised to instead find that he’s gentle, thumbs circling your nipples with just the right amount of pressure to tighten them into stiff peaks.

Unable to bite back your whimper at the heat that blossoms through you at his touch, at how much more of him you need, you pull away just enough to break your kiss, glancing up through the back window of his car to confirm the parking lot is still empty.

Namjoon groans low in his throat when you reach down to tug up the hem of your shirt, shifting a little on top of him to give him better access. He doesn’t hesitate, thumb still working at one nipple while he takes the other into his mouth, and your sigh of relief comes edged with a soft moan when he swirls his tongue over the bud of your breast.

“Shit,” you gasp. “Feels so fucking good.”

He pulls off with a wet pop to switch sides, and the slick heat of his mouth sends bolt after bolt of arousal through you until there’s a dull ache of need thudding between your legs. As you roll your hips in desperate search of friction, you can feel him beneath you, straining hard against the fabric of his jeans.

Namjoon pulls his mouth off your breast, letting out a hoarse laugh when you shift to drop your forehead against his collarbone with a groan, horny enough to practically be delirious. “I hate that I’m even saying this,” he rasps, “but I really can’t have sex in a car. I’m too—”

“Big?” you offer, and there’s a smile on his lips as he presses a kiss to your temple.

“I was going to say old.”

You can’t help giggling as you lean up to find his mouth with yours again. Namjoon kisses you a little while longer, lazily, his hands still kneading gently at your tits, until he finally tips his head back, heaving a sigh up to the roof of his car. “Okay, okay. You should go.” His tone is reluctant, like it’s the last thing he wants. “It’s late. And my jeans fucking hurt.”

There’s a self-satisfied smirk toying at your mouth as you sit up, tugging your bra and shirt back into place and not missing the bulge in Namjoon’s pants where your hips meet his. “I will take the blame for that one.”

He folds his hands behind his head, biceps and dimples on full display. “Damn straight.”

You lean down for one more kiss, letting it linger before you make your way back over the center console to retrieve your jacket. “Have a good night, Joon,” you murmur as you reach for the door handle, and when you glance back, his eyes are fixed on you, still heavy-lidded with lust.

“Get home safe. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I have booze, as promised.” Namjoon’s voice echoes in from the kitchen as you kick off your boots and hang your coat up at his front door come Christmas Eve. The aroma hits your nose as your socked feet pad down the hall to follow him: the spice of cinnamon and clove, paired with a hint of citrus. It smells like the holidays, like home.

“Mulled wine?” you wager a guess, and he nods, turning away from the stove to retrieve two mugs from a cabinet.

“I halved the recipe, since it’s just us,” he explains, mouth pulling down at the corners as he starts to ladle out servings from the pot full of deep red liquid. “Still made a lot, though.”

Your eyes drift across the kitchen until they land on the two empty bottles of red sitting next to the sink, and that makes you pause for a moment to consider. “So the original recipe called for four bottles?”

Namjoon’s brow is furrowed when he glances up, and then he follows your gaze, and a look of delayed understanding washes over him. “Oh, fuck.”

Your elbows dig into the kitchen island as you press your hands to your mouth, as if to physically hold in your laughter. “Did you… halve everything in the recipe except the wine?”

His eyes drop closed as he nods, his answer a resigned sigh. “Yeah. Yes, I did.”

You can’t help yourself: all at once, you’re circling around to join Namjoon behind the stove, so you can take his face in your hands and pull his mouth down to yours. He makes a soft noise of surprise, but then his lips fall into rhythm, kissing you hard enough to knock the air out of your lungs. Even through the fabric of your shirt, his large hands are warm when they slide over the small of your back, and then they keep going, until you finally break the kiss with another laugh when he reaches his final target and outright grabs your ass.

“Not the reaction I anticipated,” Namjoon admits, paired with a teasing squeeze. “But I’ll take it.”

You look up at him through your lashes, pressing your palms flat to the firm plane of his chest. “A very wise friend of mine once told me that the holidays aren’t about every little thing going perfect. I thought maybe you needed a reminder.”

His dimples deepen as his eyes search yours, and his voice is lower in his throat when he responds. “I think that fool was just sayin’ words because a pretty girl asked him a question.”

Heat flushes your face as you smile back. “Well, they were very good words.” You drop your gaze to the pot on the stove. “Come on, I bet we can salvage this.”

Determined to save Christmas, you throw in another handful of spices, chased with a few glugs from a bottle of orange juice Namjoon heroically digs out of the back of the fridge. After a few more minutes of simmering, you take a tentative sip of the mixture to find it perfectly adequate.

“I guess we just have to drink twice as much now,” Namjoon quips, filling up two fresh mugs with the remedied wine. You raise an eyebrow back at him, as if to accept the challenge, while you tap your drinks together in a cheers.

By the time you realize that a double-batch of mulled wine and gift-wrapping don’t exactly go together, it’s already too late. The booze makes Namjoon’s big hands go even clumsier, the few presents he attempts an absolute disaster, and you can’t stop laughing long enough to be of any help. At one point he reaches up to cup your jaw for a kiss, but completely misjudges the distance, deftly knocking into his half-drunk mug and spilling the contents all over a tube of wrapping paper and the crotch of your jeans.

You dissolve into giggles until you can scarcely breathe, scooting your chair a few inches back from the table as he jumps up to grab something to soak up the mess. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” you manage to gasp when he returns, immediately focused on cleaning you up first. You wave him away as you get to your feet. “Seriously, it’s not that bad, it’s mostly the table.”

“Jesus,” Namjoon groans as he drops the kitchen towels in his hands onto the wooden surface, doing his best to soak up the puddle, though there’s no saving the ruined gift-wrap.

“It’s not a big deal,” you murmur as he turns back, once again examining the extent of the damage done to your clothes. A shiver rolls through you as his thumb brushes over the waistband of your jeans, and he grimaces a little.

“This is probably gonna stain.”

“I mean…” Your pulse starts to quicken as his fingertips linger where they are, and Namjoon’s gaze flits up to meet yours when you speak, clearly hearing a shift in your tone of voice. “I could just… take them off.”

A smile teases at the corner of your mouth when his eyes widen. “Yeah,” he breathes, then seems to self-correct. “I mean, uh. If-if that’s something you would feel comfortable doing.”

You’re already reaching to undo the button, and then Namjoon takes over to tug open the zipper and push the fabric down your legs, and your nipples tighten beneath your bra at the reminder of how gentle his large hands can be. His lips find yours again and you don’t hesitate to lick into his mouth, jostling slightly as you try to make out with him and kick your pants the rest of the way off at the same time. It’s graceless, but you manage to make it work, and then he pulls away from you to glance back down.

“It looks like a little got on your shirt, too.”

He’s right, you realize: there are faint purple marks splattered just above the hem of your long-sleeve, and you smirk as you look up at him.

“If I didn’t know you better, I’d think you did this on purpose,” you tease, and then in one swift move you pull your shirt over your head, letting it drop to the kitchen floor next to your discarded jeans.

Namjoon’s hands are instantly on your bare skin, trailing heat as they trace the curve from your hip to your waist, and your breath hitches as he ducks down to brush his lips over your collarbone. The low tone of his voice reverberates through you when he speaks against your skin. “I like to think I could’ve gotten you naked tonight even without being an accident-prone idiot.”

You run a hand along the line of his jaw, tipping his head up to seek a kiss, before leaning back to murmur, “I guess we’ll never know.”

He kisses you again, and the two of you stumble across the threshold into the living room, pausing along the way to peel off his sweater and then his jeans, laughing into each other’s mouths, just drunk enough to lack any semblance of coordination you might have otherwise had.

When you drop down to lay back on his sofa, you’re both stripped to your underwear, and you can feel the thick bulge of him, pressing firm-heavy heat into your thigh as he settles his hips between your spread legs.

Namjoon’s eyes roam over your body beneath him, and then he’s tugging the lace of your panties to the side to slip a finger into your drenched center, beckoning it up to rub you just right. Your mouth drops open as he traces slow circles against your front wall, and when he adds a second digit, you can’t help but whimper softly at the stretch. It thrums through you like your lingering red wine buzz, hot and thick and good enough to get lost in, your head dropping back on the couch cushions as your hips rock up into his touch.

“Goddamn,” Namjoon groans, and your eyes flutter open again to take him in, his gaze heavy-lidded as he watches his fingers disappear up into you, coaxing slick sounds out with each pump of his hand. “I had a whole plan,” he rasps. “To take my time. But, fuck, I really want to fuck you.”

“It’s okay, Joon,” you breathe, not sure how much longer you could stand the torturous feeling of his clothed cock grinding into your thigh, so close to where you want him. An ache throbs in your cunt, needy, plugged up with two fingers but still begging for more. “Just fuck me.”

Realization flashes over his face, and then he suddenly heaves a sigh, looking defeated. You have to bite back a noise at the loss as he withdraws his fingers. “I— there’s an obvious joke here, but. I don’t have any condoms. Or if I do, they’re definitely expired.”

It takes you a second to process the revelation, and then you reach up to pull him down to you, smiling when he hums surprise into your mouth at the unexpected response. Your lips linger on his, and then you tip your head to press a kiss to the slope of his neck, not quite able to maintain eye contact as you murmur, “I mean. I’m on the pill, and I’m clean. So.”

“Yeah?” he replies, and your nose bumps against his shoulder as you nod. “Me too. Well, I-I’m clean, I mean. I’m not on the pill.”

You can’t help the giggle that slips out as you look up at him. “Right, no, I get it.”

“Sorry,” Namjoon huffs a laugh in return, his face flushing a little. “I talk a lot, when I’m nervous.”

“I just thought it was an all-the-time thing,” you admit, and the color in his cheeks deepens.

“I’m just always nervous around you.”

Your mouth seeks his out for a kiss sweeter than the last, slower for his shy honesty and the hummingbird thrum of your heartbeat behind your ribs. The heat of his breath ghosts over your lips when you tip back to answer, “You don’t have to be.”

“So, you’re okay?” he asks, almost reverent with his question. “If we—if I don’t—”

“Please,” you insist, and it’s all the encouragement he needs.

With remarkably little fumbling, he drags the lace of your panties down your legs, letting you kick them the rest of the way off while he moves up to unclasp your bra. You slip the straps off your shoulders and drop it over the edge of the couch, then watch as he shifts to strip out of his boxers, freeing his cock with enough force that it smacks against his abdomen with a hefty thud.

You swallow hard as you take him in: long and thick, flushed dark. Big, and fuck, you want all of him; you can feel how drenched you already are between your legs at the thought of all that cock filling you up.

When you tear your gaze away to meet his, Namjoon is staring at you just as hungrily, and he brings a hand to pump himself a few times, to coat his shaft in the wetness that’s started to drool from the head of his dick.

“Come here,” he grunts, his voice rough-edged, and you waste no time straddling yourself over his hips.

Given his considerable size, you figured it might take you a second to adjust, but you want him so bad, the feeling of his cock stretching you open is all white-hot pleasure. Your fingertips dig into his shoulders as you slowly lower yourself down on him, inch by overwhelming inch, until your ass is flush with thighs.

Namjoon’s head drops back against the couch as you slowly grind your hips into him, his hands gripping at your waist to guide the movement. You can’t help the soft sound that flutters out of you: he just looks so good like this, white-blonde hair swept off his forehead, beads of sweat trailing down his temples and glistening at his collarbones, his parted lips full and kiss-bitten.

“Baby,” he groans as you start to move a little more intentionally. “Fuck, I’m not gonna last long. Tell me what to do.”

“Touch me,” you breathe, and you close a hand over one of his, guiding him down to your clit. 

Just like the night before in his car, his touch is so gentle when he begins to trace circles into the sensitive nub with his thumb. You can feel the slow-hum build of an orgasm in your core, drawn up by the steady rub of his hand, and you lean back to allow him better access, bracing yourself on his thighs as you rock along his length.

A moan rips through you as the new angle drags the head of his dick just right against your front wall, and it’s good enough to make your eyes roll back. Chasing the feeling, you shove your hips down harder, driving his cock into that spot over and over until your thighs have started to tremble.

“That’s it,” Namjoon grunts encouragingly, his voice husky. “Use me, baby. Look so good when you bounce on my cock like that.”

The words set every last one of your nerve endings alight, and you dig your nails into his skin as your spine arches from the pleasure. His thumb is still working steadily at your clit, and the heavy stretch of his cock has you so wet, you can feel arousal starting to leak down your thighs. Your pussy clings to him like a vice, a throbbing-tight heat, taking him to the hilt every time.

“Oh my god, Joon,” you groan, “I’m gonna come.”

His touch doesn’t let up, and you can feel yourself teetering right on the precipice of it, only able to manage little gasps as you drop yourself down onto his cock again and again and again, with enough force that there’s an audible sound of your skin slapping against his.

Your legs are outright shaking from the effort now, from how close you are, and then Namjoon ducks his head, using his free hand to guide your tit into his mouth. The swirl of his tongue laved across the tight bud of your nipple is just what you need to push you over the edge.

With a moan that’s more like a sob, you drop forward against Namjoon’s chest, sinking all the way down to bury him in your pulsing cunt as you come. He continues to rub you through the waves of your orgasm, breathing ragged in your ear while your pussy gushes around him, until you grab his wrist with a soft whimper of overstimulation, and he relents.

Too gone to get any words out, all you can do is take his face in your hands and kiss him. He rolls his tongue over yours, decadent, as his palms slip down to cup your ass. You groan a little into his mouth when he begins to shift you, your cunt still fluttering-sensitive at every little motion, but he manages to maneuver you onto your back while still keeping himself sheathed in you.

His hands move to your thighs, encouraging your legs to hook over his hips, and his mouth trails kisses down the valley between your breasts before he breathes against your skin, “Can I keep going?”

“Please,” you murmur, and it’s chased with a moan when he starts to rock his hips into you. You feel so full, so swollen from your climax that it’s like your walls were molded to take him, the crown of his cock stroking deep-deep over the place that lights you up inside, shooting sparks of pleasure all the way down to your toes.

Namjoon’s breath stutters on a laugh. “Shit, I’m already close.”

You tilt up to brush your lips against his, humming encouragingly into his mouth, and then he pulls back again, one dimple teasing at the corner of his smile. “God, I— wanna hear you say it.”

Somehow, you know exactly what he means. “Come in me, Joon,” you beg, fucked so good that you’re shameless for it, and you gasp when he bottoms out in you with his next thrust. “Fill me up. Fuck me full of your cum, baby, please.”

It’s like the words send him into overdrive, and he practically growls as he starts to fuck his cock into you forcefully, hard enough to make your tits bounce. Each snap of his hips punches a heady groan from your lungs, and you reach up to drag your nails across the skin of his back as he chases his own end.

“Gonna fucking— give it to you,” he hisses, rolling his hips one, two, three more times, and then you feel his cock twitching, shoved in as deep as you can take him. He heaves a final strangled groan as he comes, rope after rope of his release pumping into you to paint your walls, until you can feel it beginning to spill back down your thighs.

You kiss through the comedown, inhaling shaky breaths into each other’s mouths, your bodies still fitted together like puzzle pieces, sweat starting to cool in the places where skin is pressed to skin. Namjoon finally moves first, giving a grunt of effort as he rolls off the couch, and you throw an arm over your face while the world slowly settles into focus around you.

When he returns, it’s with a towel in hand, and you can’t help smiling as he cleans you up, trailing soft kisses along your collarbone in tandem.

His voice is soft, too, when he finally speaks. “Will you stay here tonight?”

You prop yourself up on your forearms to look at him, and a little glimmer of something lights up in your chest that you can’t ignore. The first spark of an ember, just enough to reignite a flame you’d long since believed to be entirely extinguished. But now he’s shown you: it doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to be alone.

“Of course. We still have presents to wrap,” you say simply, and he huffs a laugh as he leans in to press a kiss to your forehead.

“Joon?” you murmur into the crook of his neck, unable to keep your voice entirely steady.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” you breathe. “For the magic.”

[meanbossart]

Ask Compilation: Advice, influences and Misc.

Apologies for taking so long on some of these, admittedly I'm much more likely to entirely forget about asks that are about me and my interests 💃 Thank you for all the questions regardless! And thank you specially to everyone who just drops nice messages into my inbox out of kindness.

I'm brazillian and a native portuguese speaker!

I'll probably return to twitter eventually, but a) I hate that place and b) It didn't make much sense to me to turn it into a BG3 account out of the blue. I am considering making an Instagram or a new twitter just to have more places where people can follow in case they don't care for tumblr, but it's just been a very busy year so far and so that's kind of low on the list of priorities. If I ever do that I'll be sure to announce it here. Have a nice day yourself!

Sorry to hear that! I've gotten a few messages before about this issue, and the problem is that since I am myself not from the US, my options are also limited :( a lot of patreon alternatives don't work for me because they either don't go through paypal, take insane currency conversion fees, or just straight up block me from signing up.

Speak for yourself, I just assume everyone I speak to online has committed some sort of atrocious crime until proven otherwise. Except for me - of course. I have never done anything bad in my life.

I still have a lot to learn! But I will basically use whatever works for me at the moment, as well as make a sincere effort to learn about musculature and anatomy so I can understand those components and how they move, instead of only knowing what they look like when still - that's how you get better at drawing from memory. Volume mostly comes from coloring and understanding light, which is it's own beast but can very much be learned from similar reference materials and observing it IRL!

My favorite places to get reference are medical diagrams, weird pictures I take of myself, 3D software (often Virt-a-mate) and questionably phrased image google searches.

My favorite artists are Jason Shawn Alexander and Sean Murphy, but I'm not sure how much of it reflects in my art nowadays! I generally seek to pick up techniques from artists rather than to emulate style.

Honestly I love that you guys generally do the thing he would hate the most: take him very non-seriously LOL

I've been in a real Chelsea Wolfe and Amyl And The Sniffers kick lately! But usually you'll also find me listening to stuff like Boy Harsher, Swans, FWF, JK Flesh Lingua Ignota, Nick Cave, David Bowie, and so on. Music for the weird gays, basically.

I went insane and wrote a 23-chapter-long-and-still-ongoing fic in like four months. But also - I'm not that good, I'm just shamelessly pretentious LOL

Hm. That's a good question, but I'm not really sure. Sincerely not trying to be a edgier-than-thou here (in fact, this has made me a little self conscious at one time or another) but a lot of art that I don't mean to be horror-y in nature at all has been associated with the genre. So perhaps I don't know what I'm doing either, LOL.

I think just leaning on making things look slightly "wrong" or "ugly" on purpose is the way, but I also find that if you just seek to depict people as they are instead of idealized versions of themselves, you will arrive at that either way.

Thank you for reading! Honestly, I'm guilty of having not read much at all since I was in my late teens, and the style I'm employing for ANE is very different from the things I would call "influential" for me, or even that I used to enjoy reading at all before. I read a lot of Chuck Palahniuk as a youth (and, no slight to people who do like him still, but nowadays I'm not sure why I ever did. His stories don't speak to me at all anymore) as well a lot of weird experimental lit that I didn't even care to remember the name of. My last book stint from one or two years ago was composed solely of historical and medical literature, and last year I got really into Cormac Mcarthy thanks to the internet.

So, all in all, I'm absolutely all over the place LOL if you put a gun to my head and told me to list my favorite books, I'd say The Indifferent Stars Above and Blood Meridian.

(Consider the reading portion of the question to have been answered above) I really really liked Beau is Afraid and think it's a really great "horror" movie. Sue me.

[evermoresversion]

Heya gorgeous, thank you so much for writing for Nick, the fics are very much appreciated 🥰🥰🥰

I have a request…would you be able to write a piece where the reader is a member of a rival gang and their star racer. She and Nick have been at each other’s throats for as long as anyone can remember. But perhaps this is a front to hide something else…?

REMATCHES, NICK LEISTER.

A/N Hi darling, thank u so much for your request and for your words, I rlly appreciate them. <3

I want to clarify that I'm not very good at writing about racing but I did what I could. And I'm so sorry for the delay.

PAIRING Nick Leister x Reader

TW/TAGS Angst, love confessions (something like that)

SUMMARY You and Nick didn't like each other, or at least that's what you made people see.

NICK'S MASTERLIST | MASTERLIST

"What's wrong, Nick? Are you finally going to resign yourself to the fact that you're never going to beat me?" you said mockingly, your car next to his, ready to start the race.

"Not in your wildest dreams, precious." he taunted back, winking at you and you rolled your eyes concentrating on the race.

Your hands clenched the steering wheel between your hands and your feet were ready to accelerate at any moment.

When the race started, you hit the throttle, staying in front.

You kept a steady pace, changing gears from time to time.

You looked in the rearview mirror at Nick's car approaching but you sped up even more, getting further away from him.

On Nick's side, he frowned as he watched your car in front of his, speeding up to try to catch up.

In the corner you slowed down a bit to be able to stay on the road, resulting in a perfect lap. And you sped up once more.

When he was next to you, managing to reach you, he looked at you with a proud smile but you smiled victorious.

Your thumb was in charge of pressing the nitro button, going at an incredibly fast speed, leaving him far behind.

When you reached the finish line, you smiled proud of yourself.

You parked, and got out of the car, surrounded by people congratulating you.

Your team came up to you to lift you up and cheer you on.

When Nick got there he walked towards you, you signaled to your friends to put you down.

They did that and when they saw who was coming they stayed behind you.

You gave him a proud smile and he came in front of you.

"Rematch. I dare you." You were a short distance away and while he was scowling you were smirking.

"Maybe next time." you answered without giving it importance, walking away from there.

"Don't leave me standing alone." he demanded walking behind you.

"Why are you so obsessed with me?" you asked looking at him.

"Obsessed? Not at all." He quickly denied, trying to hide his nervousness.

"Uh-huh, right, and all the races we've done just because you wanted revenge?" You raised one of your eyebrows and he snorted denying.

"I don't like lose."

"Are you sure that's the only reason?" you questioned, and he nodded confidently. "Well, that's a shame."

"What?"

"Go back the way you came, Leister." You warned still walking.

And he could only think about how much he loved and hated that you were just like him.

"No, what did you mean?" He grabbed your shoulder to turn you around, and you offered him a smile, looking him square in the eye.

"You're too blind." You took a couple of steps towards him. "Do you think if I wasn't interested in you I would have accepted all those races that I knew I would win?"

He licked his lips looking at yours.

"Kiss me already."

You didn't have to say it twice when his lips were already on yours, taking them with intensity and a lot of tension that was finally releasing. Tension of years and years in which both were "competing" to see who was better.

But really you were just flirting with each other in an untraditional way, but apparently it had worked. Or maybe both just attracted each other, just like magnets.

When you parted, your lips swollen, you looked at each other with a smile.

"I don't think I need to confess how I feel about you." he muttered with a smile and you shook your head, wrinkling your nose and a smile.

"No, you don't need to."

disclaimer ── evermoresversion © 2023.

[darksigns-exe]

anywhere with you - noah sebastian x nick ruffilo

word count: 1.1k warnings: mentions of anxiety, a little bit of angst and a lot of big feelings note: by request from @somewhere-diamond <3 sorry for the wild delay!

Nick is awfully quiet, he thinks. He’s never the boisterous type, but he’s quiet even for his standards today. There’s a barely there edge of anxiety to him, and Noah knows that it must be so much worse under the surface. He watches as Nick fiddles with the sleeves of his hoodie, and his heart aches a little. Noah tries to think of an excuse to get the rest of the band out of the house. He can’t exactly usher them out with a my maybe boyfriend needs quiet time please leave. As far as they are concerned, he and Nick share this place as friends and nothing more. They don’t know that Noah hasn’t slept in his own bed since the week after they’ve moved in here. 

Thankfully, Jolly is somewhat attentive and seems to understand the non-verbal cues just fine. Not even twenty minutes later, he’s practically dragging Folio out by the back of his jacket. 

Nick seems to deflate as soon as the door clicks shut behind them. And when Noah comes back into their little living room, he finds him in a truly pitiful state. He looks as if he’s one bad thought away from breaking into tears, and he simply can’t have that. They’ve been here often enough for Noah to know how to approach him, but everything feels so different now. 

“Nick?” he asks softly, trying not to spook him too much. 

The deep furrow of Nick’s brow makes his chest ache a little. If there was a way for him to take that feeling away entirely, he would. 

“Is it okay if I hold you? Or do you need something else?” 

Nick blinks up at him for a moment, and Noah thinks that he looks so terribly unsure of everything. 

“Can we just sit here for a bit?” Nick replies, sounding so very timid. 

Noah sits next to him on the sofa in an instant, “Of course. Whatever you need.” 

Nick’s held him like this plenty of times and Noah still feels a little clumsy about this, but if Nick needs to burrow his face into his chest, then he’ll give him that. And really, if he can accept this softness from him, it’s only right and fair if he gives a little bit of it back. He’s content to hold him like this for as long as Nick needs it. One hand rubbing soothingly along his back, while the other rests just above his waist. 

This all is still so tender and Noah isn’t quite sure what exactly they are, but he knows that Nick means more to him than anyone else ever has.

“What brought this on?” he asks after a while. 

Nick shifts in his embrace, twists out of it so that he can look up at him. 

Noah can’t help himself then. His fingers brush along Nick’s cheek before he can stop himself. Nick practically melts into the touch, and maybe that already gives him the answer to his question. 

“I don’t think that I want to hide this – us – from them. I want to be able to hold your hand when they’re around. I know this is new but –” he trails off into mumbled words and Noah won’t force from him – not today. 

“We don’t have to hide.” Noah says and finds himself sounding surprisingly firm, “I love you Nick and I don’t want to hide it from our friends.”  

Something flickers across Nick’s face then, and a moment later he sees him swallow down a shaky breath. 

“I know we haven’t really talked about what this is. But I don’t think that people who are just friends touch each other like that.” 

Nick gives a faint little chuckle at that, “I agree.” 

He sits up then, but remains close enough for his knees to still touch Noah’s thigh. 

“Can we go back to what you said before that?” 

Part of him wants to play dumb and make him specify what part he means. But Noah knows exactly what he means. 

“The bit about us not having talked about this? We should go back to that, yes.” 

Nick shakes his head, “The other thing. You love me?” 

He sounds almost surprised, and maybe that stings a little. But he knows that Nick is so willing to give love without expecting anything in return that it doesn’t really surprise him. 

“Of course I do. I think I always have in a way.” he replies, “I’m not always good at saying it or showing it, but I’ve never cared more for anyone.” 

The kiss that follows carries more meaning than the words ever could. It’s chaste in its own way, gentle and sweet, and fills Noah’s chest with warmth. They never quiet part, Nick remains pressed up against him for a long while, and Noah can’t exactly complain about that. 

They spent the remainder of their evening with re-heated takeaway and a movie they’ve seen plenty of times. For once, Nick is the one resting against his chest, instead of it being the other way around. Noah keeps his arms wrapped around his middle, his hand resting comfortably on Nick’s tummy. They’ve kissed before, they’ve done more than that, but for some reason he still has to work himself up to press his lips against Nick’s cheek. 

Nick tries to peer up at him then. 

“Watch your film.” Noah whispers and seals the words with another soft kiss. 

Nick turns back to the TV rather reluctantly. And when Noah trails his kisses a little lower, he doesn’t turn to face him again. Instead, he just melts further against him. 

The moment is so perfectly mundane.  

When the credits roll across the screen, Nick slowly begins to shift again. Noah can’t quite bring himself to release him just yet, though. 

“Stay here for a moment?” he asks, pulling Nick a little bit closer again, “Tell me if it gets bad, okay? Doesn’t matter what’s going on or where we are. If you need out, tell me. I know that I can’t magic that feeling away, but if I can help make it better, I want to do that.”

“I think I just needed to hear you say it. Going from being able to touch you just like that to having to hide how I really feel didn’t make me feel good.” 

The admission stings a little, but it’s good to know what Nick needs from this – from him. 

“Then we don’t hide it. I’m all yours anyway.” Noah replies. 

Nick is curled against his front when they finally find their way into bed. His hand wraps around the one Noah had placed against his chest. 

“Noah?”

He hums in acknowledgement. 

“I love you too.” 

taglist:@deathblacksmoke @circle-with-me @sitkowski @ladyveronikawrites @baddestomens

[panelshowsource]

rather than who you would like to see on the next taskmaster series, who do you think will be on it? like just your predictions or any inklings you may have!

anon if you're still around then you'll know i really took my time with this hahaha so sorry! i hope anyone reading this takes it as just a bit of fun and nbd, who knows who we'll get or who alex & the network have in mind! i'm answering thoughtfully (bc i always feel guilty not to 😩 so sorry this is long lol) but it's really just fun!!

i will say, of the more recent-ish series, i did get a few right!!! krishnan guru-murthy, nicola coughlan, alan davies, judi love, sue perkins, john robins, and joanne mcnally were people i just knew would eventually be on if the show could get their schedules right, and i was also certain sarah millican and dara ó briain would be asked — though not necessarily that they'd actually agree. when you have a level of seniority and esteem, the "it's such a great opportunity" aspect of the show isn't such a draw 😅 for some reason i feel SO PROUD about guessing nicola! i was just WAITING and wish sooooo much she had done a full series 😭😭😭 (how fun would saoirse-monica jackson be too!)

anyways, as for people who haven't been on yet — and this isn't to say i want them all to be, just that i think it's likeliest they have been asked or will be asked; i talked about who i want to see a little while ago here — it's important to consider the casting 'roles' the network has in mind when working with the producers to form a series, so i will keep that in mind too!

established comedian, typically a straight white man over 40: bill bailey, vic reeves, harry hill, geoff norcott, kevin bridges, adam buxton, ade edmondson, paul whitehouse (tommy tiernan? god i feel bad for not saying ed byrne but why do i feel like he's not gonna make it in the next few series? i'm on the fence with nick helm — unless he's friends with alex, then his chances go up significantly imo — and tom allen for some reason, and i feel like john bishop is almost too much of an ask?)

fresh talent comedian, typically a man under 40: rhys james, huge davies, ahir shah, darren harriott would be my top guesses but tbh any of the semi-recent edinburgh comedy award finalists are good bets as a majority of the winners from the last ~10 years have been on the series + throwing out tom rosenthal (i know he's not fresh fresh and also mostly an actor)...and, like, jazz emu?...just because if taskmaster know how much its audience adores weird little white twinks then they'll cast them

female or non-binary comedian: 100% sarah keyworth + harriet kemsley, maisie adam, jess fostekew, suzi ruffell. i've shifted away from betting on cariad lloyd and catherine bohart for some reason... (joanne was my no.1 lady bet for the last like 4 series hahaha)

non-comedian: this is very, very hard to predict because between comedy actors, non-comedy actors, tv presenters, news people, reality & social media stars... the potential predictions are just so endless! logically, the most likely is an established actor with a lot of comedy connections (think sally phillips, lolly adefope, liza tarbuck, sian gibson, daisy may cooper, susan wokoma; this category is where tm gets quite a few of its female contestants): matt holness, kevin eldon, amanda abbington, tom davis, sharon horgan, kathy burke, georgia tennant (also friends w alex?), su pollard, tom basden, apparently anyone from the cast of ghosts, and so on and so on and so on... + i'll also throw out maggie aderin-pocock as a serious contender + i really feel like one of the spice girls will be on new years treat

friend of alex: john robins was the prediction for the past few series, so just worth keeping in mind other people in this circle include elis james, matthew crosby, tom neenan, and so on

freebie answers because alex/greg have mentioned them before: jack dee, lorraine kelly, joanna lumley (i want jennifer saunders SO BAD give us an epic series w both ade and jen pleaseeee tm gods!!!!)

complete wild card bets that are either my instincts kicking in or my bias taking over: limmy, adam buxton, paddy mcguinness, diane morgan, daniel sloss, joel dommett, jess hynes, spencer jones??, alasdair beckett-king or josh pugh + if suzy izzard wasn't doing a big nyc show i'd say that's a good guess if only bc you know greg & alex grew up big fans

did i mention too many people?? if i had to put my money behind a single person it would be either ahir shah or sarah keyworth

these are almost all of my fr big heavy hitters when it comes to placing bets! but there are of course so many people i didn't name who i could totally see on either a main series or the ny treat — so many people just make sense and that's the beauty of taskmaster!!

[hadesforpreswrites]

dirty laundry, pt. 4

a/n: here's part 4! guess who's back, back again, ash is back, tell a friend. i'm so sorry for how long this took, i kept hitting a wall every time i opened the document. but here we are now! as always i hope you enjoy! please like, comment, reblog!

pairing: noah sebastian x reader

genre: idiots-to-lovers

warnings: slight angst (if you squint, no like it's really minimal); oral (f. receiving)

word count: 2,508

summary: it's birthday time! noah's been on a mini tour, will he make it back in time for y/n's birthday dinner?

part one part two part three part five

as promised he stayed the rest of the week with her. it mostly consisted of them staying in and learning more about each other, in a different, more romantic way than they had previously.

then he had to go for a few weeks to perform various shows. he desperately wanted her to go with them but she just smiled and said that she needed to focus on her schoolwork and she wouldn’t do that if she was around everyone. he worried he wouldn’t be back in time for her birthday dinner that scarlett planned every year. 

every year their group of friends get dressed up in their best and go out to dinner. a lot of times after dinner they’d end up at a bowling alley that was half bowling, half arcade. 

it was something that she looked forward to every year and he was worried a majority of the group wouldn’t be able to make it due to commitments they had. 

“noah, it’s honestly okay,” she said over the phone one night after a show. he could tell she was trying her best to sound nonchalant but that she was sad about it. “if it was a dumb reason i’d be upset but this is far from dumb in my book. besides, we can always just push it to another date. doesn’t have to be on my exact birthdate.”

“yes it does!” he heard scarlett’s voice shout, causing him to chuckle. 

“she’s right. it’s tradition,” he said. “we’re gonna try our best to be there, doll. it mostly depends on how travel goes.”

“i know. maybe i should’ve come with you like you wanted. so you wouldn’t stress as much about it,” she said, quietly.

“doll, even though i desperately want you here with me, i’d still stress about it.”

“it’s not so important that you should stress this much though.”

“i’m going to pretend i didn’t just hear you say that the day my girlfriend was born isn’t important.”

“how very dare she!” jolly’s voice shouted from the other side of the couch on the bus.

“hear that? you’ve upset the swede.”

she was silent. 

“doll, regardless stress is going to happen because i love you and the guys love you and we want to continue our tradition.”

“yeah.”

“you’re awfully quiet over there. what’s going through that pretty little head of yours?”

he heard sniffles from the other side of the phone and immediately wished he was there. “i just don’t know what i did to deserve this kind of niceness.” 

“you exist as you are and we like the way you are. so there,” he explained.

she laughed. 

“there she is.”

“i love you,” she said.

“i love you,” he replied with a smile. 

“and as much as i love you and talking to you, i should probably try to sleep.”

“yes, you should.”

“wish you were here,” she said quietly. he could hear her getting under her comforter and settling in for the night on the other side of the phone. 

“soon. then you’ll get sick of me, promise,” he joked.

“doubt it. night, noah.”

“good night, doll.”

“good night!!” the rest of the crew on the bus yelled into the phone, causing him to hear her giggle before she hung up.

“is she doing okay?” nicholas asked, plopping down between noah and jolly.

“i think so. just had a moment of doubt is all.”

“what happened when you went to stay with her?” nick asked.

“i don’t think that’s something i can tell you. she barely wanted to tell me.”

“well, whatever it was, even though it was obviously bad, i’m glad it happened. if only to finally get you two together,” jolly said. “not because i want her hurting, obviously. silver lining in the clouds.”

noah nodded. he’d been feeling similarly. he didn’t know when he’d finally have broken his silence on loving her if that night didn’t happen. that, of course, didn’t mean that he was happy her past had come back to haunt her in such an intense way.

“so what’d you get her for her birthday?” bryan asked, slightly changing the subject.

noah’s eyes widened. “shit.”

“she’s not gonna want anything from anyone,” nick tried to cover for noah.

“right. but it’s definitely his obligation as boyfriend to get her something anyway.”

“what if you just get a hotel room or airbnb for a weekend getaway? she’d like that since you’ve been gone,” nicholas offered.

“that’s actually a great idea,” jolly said, gaining looks from everyone on the bus. “we’re practically soulmates, i know what she’d like.”

“soulmates?” noah leveled a playful glare at the guitarist.

“oh, chill. i mean it in a totally platonic way.”

“i think you’d have to fight scarlett for that title,” nicholas laughed. 

“i’m not convinced she’s not holding out hope for y/n to be gay,” jolly said.

“she’s bi. i think if they were to happen, they’d have happened already,” noah explained. he earned some questioning looks. “she literally went to pride and bought a bi flag. it’s not difficult to put two and two together to make four. you guys just don’t pay attention.”

“so much for being her soulmate, joakim,” nick laughed, causing everyone else to laugh.

while laying in his bunk on the bus later that night, noah began to look up hotel in the area they lived, looking for one that gave off just the right vibe.

a couple days had passed and the band and crew were making their way home as fast as they could in order to make it for dinner. noah was on edge and kept to himself most of the trip. 

in the end, they had made it back to town with a couple of hours to spare.

as much as noah wanted to tell her they’d made it, it kind of wanted it to be a surprise, so he just text scarlett and told her to keep her mouth shut. 

he showered and dressed quickly. then he packed a bag for the weekend. as much as he loved his band, he couldn’t wait to have some alone time with his girl after a few weeks with them. 

he drove alone to the restaurant because of his later plans, but waited for the rest of them to arrive before exiting his vehicle. they walked into the building as a group, y/n and scarlett already at a table. the hostess seemed shocked to see the group but led them to the table which was in the back of the restaurant.

y/n and scarlett weren’t paying attention, immersed in a conversation together, so he walked quietly behind y/n and placed his hands over her eyes, careful not to smudge her glasses.

“oh my god, you made it!” she said, excitedly.

he chuckled, taking the seat on her other side. “how’d you know it was me?”

“cologne. and also who else would dare?”

“i dunno, jolly said something about being your soulmate, so he might dare.”

“okay, he might. but he wears a different cologne. did you know that smell is the sense most linked to memory?”

“i missed you, smartypants,” he said, kissing the side of her head. 

“missed you more,” she said, smiling.

“be gross after dinner,” scarlett said, not a hint of seriousness in her voice. 

“you ladies both look very nice tonight,” jolly complimented.

“thank you. it took so long for us to find something perfect for the night. still has to look good with bowling shoes, ya know,” scarlett answered.

the rest of the table carried on in conversation while noah placed a hand on y/n’s thigh, pulling her attention to him.

“i didn’t get an actual present for you this time and for that i’m so sorry. but i did get us a hotel room for the weekend so we can spend some much needed time together without these yahoos.”

“you don’t need to beat yourself up about not getting anything because all i wanted was you here. i think a hotel room is a great idea.”

he kissed the side of her head again as the waiter walked up to the table to take their orders. 

dinner was filled with laughter and good conversation, as it always is when they all get together. noah’s hand rarely left its place on y/n’s thigh. it was a subtle touch but after being gone from her for as long as he had been, though not as long as a normal tour, it was all he could do to not beg her to skip the bowling and go straight to the hotel.

when she stood up at the end of dinner and he saw her outfit in full, he had to stifle a groan that threatened to erupt. she looked so good and was wearing heels that made her legs look even better than normal. 

he shook himself as he noticed her stretching her hand out to him with a smile. “c’mon, we have pins lanes to dominate.”

he stood, his hand in hers, and followed their group out to their vehicles. 

“who’re you riding with, love?” scarlett asked.

noah was already opening the passenger door of his car for her when y/n shot scarlett a glance, causing them to laugh.

y/n carefully slid into the passenger seat of noah’s car before he shut the door and slid into his own seat. “you look so fucking good, doll.”

“thank you,” she blushed. “i wanted to try something a little different from the last couple of years.”

“i liked those to but there’s something about this that makes me a little feral.”

“good to know.”

“you sure you want to go bowling?”

she laughed. “yes, of course i want to go bowling.”

“yeah, right, of course,” he choked out.

“noah, we have all weekend.”

“trust me, i’m aware.”

“but i did tell scar that we’d be late because i want to pick up clothes for our weekend.”

“good idea.”

“i’ve been known to have a few.”

noah drove the familiar route to her and scarlett’s house, walked around the car to help her out, and held her hand as they walked to the front door.

once they were inside, he pulled her to him and pushed his lips to hers. her arms wound around his neck as she returned his kiss with the same urgency. he walked them until her back hit the closest wall and let his hands roam down her body to the backs of her thighs. he pulled, indicating to her that he wanted them around his waist, she obliged. he broke from her lips and she put her forehead against his as he walked them back to her room. 

“i missed you so fucking much,” he said, his voice husky.

“i missed you,” she breathed out.

“i know you want to go bowling with our friends but just give me a little more time.”

“okay, i can do that.”

he pushed open her bedroom door and kicked it shut again as they entered. he laid her on the bed, pecking her lips before sliding down her body and kneeling on the carpet in front of her.

“baby, can i please?” he almost whined out. “and then we can pack you a bag and go. promise.”

she leaned up on her elbows and looked at him. both of their eyes were blown with lust and hair was mused. “okay,” she said quietly.

“okay,” he said, placing a kiss on her thigh.

he slid his hands up under the skirt of her outfit and found the elastic band of her underwear and pulled them down her legs. he didn’t fight the groan that left his throat at the sight of the black lace underwear his fingers were pulling down. 

“my shoes,” she said, breathlessly.

“they’re fine,” he said simply as he hooked her knees on his shoulders. 

he kissed up the inside of one of her thighs to the apex of her legs. he used his tongue to lap up the juices that were already flowing out of her. he pushed a finger into her as he licked. he moaned into her, the vibration making her moan loudly as she snaked her fingers through his hair. he nibbled on her clit as lightly as he could and soothed it with his tongue. he inserted another finger and began working them faster as her breathing sped up.

“noah,” she breathed out, spurring him on.

he reached his free hand up toward her, and she released the grip of one of her hands on his hair to grip his hand instead. 

“c’mon, baby, i know you can do it. you’re so close,” he said as he felt her squeezing his fingers before continuing his ministrations with his tongue. he coaxed it out of her. she fought to keep her thighs open as she came, he continued until she was spent and breathing heavily above him.

he sat back on his heels and licked his fingers clean, her slick glistening on his chin. “fuck,” they said together, causing them to laugh.

“hang on, doll. let me clean you up before you start moving around,” he walked into the adjoining bathroom, grabbed a clean washcloth, and wet it before walking back to her, wiping his face as he did. he cleaned the inside of her thighs and any drippage from her core before placing her feet in the leg holes of her underwear and helping her pull them back on.

she raised her arms and he pulled her up. he chuckled as he saw her look in her phone screen with a look of horror. “now i have to fix my make up and hair,” she whined. 

“i dunno, i think you still look great,” he kissed her forehead.

“you would.” she said, attempting to stand. “you know, in these shoes i’m almost your height.”

“i noticed. my neck thanks them for their service.” 

she laughed again as he helped her stand, he laughed as her knees wobbled.

“stop that. and help me with these things,” she said, plopping back on her bed and bending to unbuckle her shoes.

he saluted her and kneeled once more to help her remove the high heels. 

she breathed a sigh of relief as she stood on bare feet and walked to her closet for a bag and her converse. he was at her dresser pulling out yoga pants, shorts, and a couple of t-shirts. she pulled out clean underwear and a different bra and some socks and stuffed everything into her bag. before they left she went to the bathroom and cleaned up her makeup and hair, motioning for him to sit so she could straighten up his hair as well.

he grabbed her bag as she grabbed his hand and pulled him through the front door, locking it behind them, and to the car once more.

once they were situated in the vehicle, she shouted enthusiastically, “to the bowling alley!”

[willowmosby]

I have over the last 5 months watched all 15 seasons and the immortality special of the original CSI. I have no plans to watch the reboot anytime soon so I thought I would info dump my thoughts, and if love to know how others feel. I will now present a very very long post with breakdown some quick thoughts on the seasons, more thoughts on most of the characters and a few ships.

Tldr: I really enjoyed CSI as a whole and I'm sad to say goodbye to a formula and some characters I've really grown attached to. ( And If there is a good Nick Stokes written into immortality fic please lmk)

Seasons:

I do think the early seasons the most fun/ light hearted, which feels weird to say when it literally opens with Sara investigating Warrick for negligence. I kinda wish I had blogged along or something so I could be more detailed in my response about them.

Like a lot of shows I think it really hit its stride in the middle seasons. If I had to pick a few seasons to watch it be 5-7. It also helps that I had finally gotten used to the lighting.

I think the 9- 11 stretch is too serious, don't get me wrong there were some bangers but overall not great

12-15 they were better and back to a little more fun, and I think the series kept its footing pretty well in its final innings. It was no golden era and I felt really bad that Catherine got demoted but I really enjoyed it. ( Well ok I really wasn' a gig harbor arc fan)

Immortality was a fine special, although I don't really feel like it stuck the landing. Part of that will probably become obvious when I talk about my character and ship takes but I also just felt the case could have been better. It's the freshest in mind, obviously, so I will say I really loved having Catherine and Grissom back and if anything I felt like it gave good closure for them and to a lesser extent Sara.

Characters( kinda in the order of their exit):

The lab rats: Bobby, Mandy, Archie icons every one of them. There is a world where Wendy, Hodges and Henry get their own sections but I feel like they would appreciate being in this group. Never pushed into too much melodrama their characterization, always great at their jobs. I would love to grab drinks with any of them

The cops: Brass will get his own sections but to summarize my feelings on all the others. They did their job and I love that for them. They almost never overstayed their welcome but they also aren't the reason I'm watching this show. The only two I would want to get drinks with are the should have been lesbian Sofia Curtis ( she almost got her own section but then i got lazy) and the best uniform in the business, the man, the myth, my man officer Mitchell.

Warrick Brown: My smooth talking gambling king. He was definitely missed after his death. While I didn't love his characterization in the greda Arc, I usually really enjoyed his dynamic with the team and his drive to the job. His death was the closest I came to stopping my watching. His skills with kids are underrated ( probably cause Nick and Catherine are so good) and I do have a say on top of all his intelligence and skills at the job he is so handsome. I think he might go a little too hard for me to enjoy getting drinks with him but I would still do it.

Gill Grissom: My second favorite Dr. Bug ( sorry no one can beat Jack Hodgins) he really is the smartest person on the show. You can always feel his passion for science which is lovely. While sometimes out of touch or oblivious he is usually incredibly kind. I liked his tie to the deaf community. You can pull the fact that he is Demi from my cold dead hands. In a lot of the ways he was the heart of the show and it definitely shows when he left. His relationships with Catherine, Warick, Nick and of course Sara were well developed. I would kill to get a drink with him just to listen to him talk science.

Riley Adams: she gets a section as it is rude for me to not mention a character who was in the credits but she's fucking white bread milk toast. Would not bother getting drinks.

Raymond Langston: I love his relationship with Robbins and I think he's incredibly smart. But I just think the show gave him way way too much too quickly. I mean just compare it to the fucking effort Greg put in to reach CSI or that as new CSI 3 there was a long stretch where Nick didn't get his own cases. I appreciated his complex background but he brought with him the Haskell arc which was just too fucking long and serious. I would get a singular glass of wine with him.

Catherine Willows: What a girl boss. And I mean that is all the best and worst ways. I really love her at her best but man some of her lows are just.. no fun. She is absolutely vital to the show's success and 9/10 times she is out there taking no prisoners and careing for her team. Just you know wish she hadn't shown her daughter a dead body or faked a crime scene with a new guy to name some examples. She could drink me under the table no doubt.

Jim Brass: While never my favorite character I always appreciate seeing him on my screen. Competent enough to hang with the scientist and still be a good cop. I appreciated how dedicated he was to his daughter but Just not personally my vibes. I would get a drink with him but uhh maybe make it non alcoholic cause it's unclear if he needs sobriety help.

Julie Finlay: She's sweet and very very good at her job. If she had come earlier on she might be one of my favorites just my top 3 was already filled. She brings a good balance back to the team, and she has a weird level of breaking and respecting the rules that I enjoyed. She very quickly had such a good dynamic with all the returning favs that there are moments I forgot she was so new. She's got big Bi & Poly energy. I know the actress wasn't coming back but I would've paid to see her interact with Grissom. Sad that she died off screen but also kinda glad they didn't end 15 with her completely dead. I would absolutely get drinks with her, probably mimosas despite my dislike for them.

Morgan Brody: eh shes fine. I feel like despite everything she still comes off as naive. I love her relationship with Eklie and Hodges but overall she left something to be desired. Nothing that I super disliked but I do kinda wish some of her screen time went to Sara or someone else.

D.B Russell: he was honestly a breath of fresh air, well until he wasn't. I think I just love Ted Dansion for one but also I felt like Russell was a beautiful balance between caring and professional. It was nice to have a supervisor who was actually kinda good at politics. I love that he actually cares for his kids and loves his wife ( although I was informed by my mother that he is divorced in Cyber). I do kinda wish the kept the bit where he laid on the ground as a body but mostly cause I found it way funnier than it is. I really hated the gig harbor killer arc and I felt like a large reason is it made him too serious. I would get a drink with him, but honestly I'd love to have a full meal with his family

Super Dave: what a lovable but weird dude. Genuinely a great example of how you can blend strange comments with kindness and consistency to create a great character. I would love to grab a drink with him.

Doc Robbins: What an honest man and in the running for the best M.E ( up there with Ducky and Cam). I'm glad he mostly stayed out of the drama and appreciated that he was always thorough, even when people were occasionally questioning his own work. Not kind to a fault but definitely empathetic. I would 100% grab a drink with him.

Now to the top 3, the best of the best, the ones who were in for the long haul.

Nick Stokes: Whether it's the sweet Texas accent and big bown eyes or the fact that he's the longest running main cast member I do think he is my favorite. Empathetic and kind, almost to a fault, he is also a man's man who can hold his own against the worst criminals. The show put him through the absolute fucking ringer but he still leaves with a smile on his face. Even when he clashes with other characters I feel like he resolves the problems better than other people. He definitely could have benefited from good therapy but I still love him anyway. His skills with kids are so nice and grounded in his backstory. Loved that he became the new big guy. Occasionally they try and paint him as a bit of a player but given he sleeps with like 2 women over 15 seasons it doesn't super add up. This is definitely the queer in me talking but he gives huge repressed Gay energy. Like a lot of his early arc is about graining confidence in himself. Not to mention,his relationship with Warrick and Greg are so filled with undertones and honestly let that man get fucked and some of his problems might go away. Anyway. So I guess more power to the actor for not coming back for even a cameo but I really really felt the lack of him in immortality. So If anyone knows a fanfic where he's there lmk I would read that shit in a heartbeat. Would get drinks with him, would die for him.

Greg Sanders: I love rave going lab rat Greg. I love the new CSI trying to prove himself to Greg. I love mob history author Greg. I mean he's got to be one of the most intelligent characters on the show- he's good at science and history- and it never makes him come off as rude or entitled. I think his shift from lab rat to CSI, whether intentional or accidental, is well built. He is criminally oh I mean so so so criminally underutilized in immortality. I dislike when he's angry and there are certainly episodes where he feels off but overall he's just so lovable. Disgusting hair choices but hey at least that was a consistent trait. His relationship with Nick and Sara throughout the whole show are really great and after 15 seasons they really do feel like they've been a team for 15 years. He gives Huge Bi energy so I would take him to a gay club for drinks and dancing.

Sara Sidle: You can call her a problematic fav all you want but she's a bad bitch and everyone should love her. She is so great at her job and she never lacks humanity. The show kinda lost track of her exact backstory at some point but I don't care too too much as she stays strong willed and passionate the whole show. Her will to never quit and iconic smirks will stay winning forever. I have thoughts on her relationship with Grissom but bottom line she knew what she wanted and got it. Her friendship with all the main cast, particularly Greg and Nick, is really lovely and shows how she has grown and changed over 15 seasons. Because I actually care about continuity I would not get an actual alcoholic drink with her but non alcoholic drinks aplenty would be had if I could meet her.

Ships:

Listen I don't have a real finger on the pulse of what ships are popular as this show finished airing 10 years ago and I was trying to not be super spoiled.

That being said

GSR: I'm not super into Grissom/ Sara ( side note I know the Internet was a different place 20 years ago but who picked GSR as their ship tag), but I'm also not against it. I think they have a big "match my freak" energy which is nice but. I don't know I just feel like by the end of it Sara could do better. Like she gave up the lab director for the guy who asked her for a divorce. I still think it's better than some other options just you know not like my otp. 8/10

Catherine/ Warrick: I think that the flirting was all fun and games and then if became too much. Let's be honest neither of them are built for committed relationships. Probably would have been better then whatever the fuck was happening with Warrick and Tina. 5/10

Catherine/ Vartann: its canonical and like they were fine I didn't hate it didn't love it. Probably better for Catherine in the long term than any other of her potential ships 6/10

Nick/ Greg: idk if this is super popular but it's my otp for the show. They seem like they bring out the best in each other. Nicks more clean cut natural could balance out the more chaotic ature of greg. Obviously with the era the show was made in I don't think that there tension was intentional but it's still there. From the name that chemical compound game to working together until the end of really think they would be great. 11/10

Nick/ Warrick: I had to mention for the just two dudes who have homoerotic tension energy but ehh Warrick dose really read straight to me in every other context. 3/10

Wendy/ Hodges: ehh they give straight white couple who should have just talked about their feelings. 4/10

Hodges/ Henry: is this a real ship? idk man, But it's an friends to enemies to lovers I would love to read. 6/10

Morgan/ Greg: ok part of this is the my ship bias( see above) but I did not like them together. Their flirting is not good, his anger at her kidnapping too extreme, idk I Just really feels like they operate in different levels. 0/10

Morgan/ Hodges: I actually thought this was really sweet and was super said they went with the parents dating thing. I think they understood each other on a really fun level and that they brought out the best in each other. I loved how supportive they were of each other even in seemingly poor decisions. 8/10

Finn/ D.B: I would assume that this is the popular het ship for the them but uhh D.B is so happily married and Finn ( much like Warrick and Catherine) doesn't really give monogamous relationship. 0/10

Finn/ Sara: 100% queer women projection but uhh just imagine post divorce Sara figuring out her identity with Finn and they try friends with benefits but then need more. 6/10

If you made it this far thanks so much for reading and id love to hear others thoughts as I do a deep dive into this show. I Will be reading plenty of fanfiction and may start CSI: NY to appease the new hole in my heart.

[anangelinthepit]

Bruise My Bones but Leave my Heart Alone

(Sorry loves it’s a short chapter I promise it will pick back up soon) Trigger warning ⚠️ death and mental illness. Please be advised. As always with love Magenta

@reyadawn @bloodylullaby @fadingintothegrey @supersquirrel1996 @dreamstyles @hurricanesfollowyou @thisbicc @chey-h

Part 7

Y/N’s POV

“I get why he's doing this. Jolly, but you guys don't understand. If Noah kills Jason, something way worse is going to come after me and the rest of you. You need to take me back now.” I said, pleading

“Y/N I promise you, Jason is just a punk, and whatever comes our way, it isn't anything we can't handle,” Jolly said while driving. It's almost like they didn't even hear what I said.

“You’re not listening to me, Jason is more than just some punk ass kid who beats on women.” Putting my hands over my face in frustration.

“What? Is he in the mafia or something?” Nick said with a chuckle. They both looked back at me trying to get some reassurance on my face about the joke they just made. I couldn't make eye contact though because they were practically right. The next thing I knew, Jolly slammed on the brakes and asked me sternly.

“Y/N. Please tell me we didn't leave Noah behind to deal with somebody in the mafia.”

“What the fuck? No, he is not in the mafia. What do you think this is? Some story on freaking Tumblr?” I said, rolling my eyes. They waited for me to spill everything, and with hesitation, I did.

“He is a drug dealer, and as much as I hate to admit it, he is very good at what he does. Created a lot of connections throughout his time. I was never involved, but I witnessed him create a lot of loyal followers. That whole thing about me being free wasn't gonna last long. They would have raided my house and used me as collateral.

“Collateral?” Jolly said

“Jason made a lot of money but didn't pay back those who got him where he is now. Killing him would have been a favor, but a debt would still need to be paid.” I said with tears, filling my eyes. The memories started to come back. Jason is betting my life with a bunch of drug dealers. Promising them if he didn't make good on his end of the deal, they could have me.

“Why wait? Let me get some of her now”

“Yeah, she's too cute to pass up.”

I can still smell the alcohol and cigarettes on their breath. “You guys need to take me back now. I'll take the fault and repercussions, but we need to go. Now.” I said begging. Jolly turned the car around and was speeding back to the venue. By the time we got there, it was almost pitch black. I could see silhouettes standing around a person on the ground. Boy, this scene looked familiar. I threw the door open and ran out of the car

“Baby! Please don't !” I shouted

“Y/N what are you doing here? You need to get out of here. I don't want you to see this.” Noah said with a stern voice. I looked down and made eye contact with Jason. My knees almost gave out because I was looking at what you would call a “dead man walking”. Jason smiled at me and was about to speak when Noah pistol-whipped him. His eyes were locked and ready to take him the fuck out. I grabbed Noah's arm, trying to bring him back down to earth. “Baby look at me,” I said, trying to grab his face. “I'll tell you everything you need to know, no more secrets. Just please put the gun down and walk away. There is so much you need to know before you make this decision. Please my love, you made your point. Let him go and just... Just take me home.” I said looking into his eyes with tears.

I saw the murderous rage that once filled his eyes fade away, now being replaced by the beautiful shade of dark autumn leaves that I had fallen in love with. Noah kissed me on the cheek and reminded me of his promise. Within that moment, the world stopped spinning as Noah pulled the trigger officially ending Jason’s life. Little did he know, he just ended mine right along with his. I screamed at the sound of the gunshot hitting Jason’s head. I could hear Jolly and Nick frantically explaining everything to Noah. When I looked up, all the sound around me disappeared. All I could focus on was the dead body laying in front of me and how, in a few hours, I was going to be next to him or worse. “Why is the sky getting bigger?” I said to myself. Wanting to stand up to confront Noah, I took one step and passed the fuck out.

Noah’s POV

“Son of a Bitch

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I love you all ❤️

[mediocreanomaly]

May we have Vashwood x reader part 3 please?

Authors Note: my poor anon you've been sitting in the box but I shall release you.

Sorry guys! I was super busy and then I put a bunch of work into a DnD Campaign so my creative brain was fried a bit then I got sick and then my hands got messed up from saving my cat from a dog attack and- I'm rambling! Sorry for the long wait is what I mean! Enjoy!

Other Parts Here: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 3 (Alt. End)

Vashwood x Reader Soulmate Au Pt.3

No. No absolutely not is your first thought, your second thought being I'm going to kick these idiots ass.

"Are you listening doll face?" The man, who's name is presumably "Nick" says.

It's quiet besides the blood rushing in your ears. Everyone in town is probably asleep or close to it by now and these two just keep watching you like you're supposed to know how to react to this, like this is remotely a normal situation to be in.

"Did we break them? I told you it was too much! You never listen to me" the spikey one pouts. They seem comfortable with each other, you wonder how long they've been together. You suppose it makes sense that if they had found each other first they wouldn't have thought to look for you, having multiple soulmates was rare and considering you did everything in your power to stay out of trouble it tracked that a third soulmate would be nearly undetectable, maybe you should have gotten hurt more often...no that was stupid these two had certainly caused enough pain for the three of you.

"We didn't break them just give them a second they're thinking, Jesus spikey are you the reason they say blondes are dumb?"

"Hey!"

The two men bicker and you notice that they're different in a lot of ways right off the bat. Blonde and black hair, blue and brown eyes, light and tan skin, it almost makes you wonder how you're supposed to play in here. How in the grand scheme of things the universe chose you to stand next to these, frankly, very bizarre (and handsome) men. You need to say something, you need to voice your concerns your hopes your worries-

"I hate you" It's all you can really think to say. In a way it's true and in more ways it's not. Be that as it may with all the emotions flooding through you right now on top of the fact that they've revealed themselves in the most unorthodox way possible it's making it hard to express what you actually feel clearly. Something along the lines of "you two made my life a living hell for such a long time I wanted to kill you but I've matured since then but that doesn't take away the childhood that got stripped from me but I also understand it's most likely not your fault and the fact that there's two of you makes more sense but also gives me 100 more questions-" would probably be more accurate. but "I hate you" is what ends up coming out your mouth.

"You...what?" you flinch. You weren't exactly ready for that to be asked in the most heart shattering tone in the world and when you glance up to see the blonde wears an expression akin to that of a kicked puppy you feel regret creep through your veins.

"Vash they don't mean that, I said mean shit too when we found out" Nick huffs. Ah so the kicked puppy's name is Vash good to know- ah...hang on a moment..

"Vash?" you repeat, "Vash like....like Vash the Stampede?" you say dumbly, but there was no way the man you had nearly made cry from one sentence was the Vash the Stampede that was plastered on every god forsaken wanted poster across Gunsmoke

This catches his attention, the wounded look turning into something more wide eyed like a man who's forgotten to turn off the oven at home.

"We never even introduced ourselves!" he says in alarm, brushing himself off as if it'll cause a redo of the entire situation.

"Needle noggin-" "shh"

Vash scolds the other man whos already patting his breast pocket for another smoke clearly annoyed with how this whole thing is playing out.

"Vash the Stampede and-" Vash nudges Nick who reluctantly adds

"Nicholas D. Wolfwood"

"-at your service! We've been traveling far and wide-"

"Because Spikey always get's chased out-" this earns Nick an elbow in the side which you also wince at when you feel it dig into your own ribs. Vash quickly gives you an apologetic smile but continues.

"-in hopes of finding you! y/n, we're your soulmates!" He finishes with a half hearted wiggle of his fingers and and look that reads "tada?"

You blink dully at them. Yeah that added up. This would be your life wouldn't it? First you are tormented by pain your whole life and now you find out it was because your soulmates were the man with a 1,000,000,000 double dollar bounty on his head and...actually you have no idea who this Nicholas guy is. Considering the cross...Jesus reincarnate? Unlikely but at this point you'd believe anything.

"nuh-uh" it...comes out your mouth before you can stop it.

"nuh-uh? What the fuck do you mean nuh-uh?" Wolfwood gapes pulling his glasses up, yeah...not your best moment.

"I mean, no thank you. Look, I'm sure you're great people- or maybe you aren't I don't know I heard a rumor Vash the Stampede eats babies-" "What?!?! I don't-"

"Besides the point!" you interrupt "Look I didn't ever plan on meeting you, hell I'm not sure I even want to know you. So...I think it'd just be easier if the two of you just..." your sentence dies in your throat the longer they look at you hoping they catch your drift.

"Because we hurt you?" Nick steps a bit closer and you tell yourself it's the soulmate connection currently frying your brain and not the fact this well toned man has his whole chest out right now.

"N-No, well maybe? It's complicated" you had never planned on meeting your soulmate- or soulmates but in hindsight a bit of practice of what you were going to say might have been smart.

"We don't have to leave yet, we can stay- just so you get used to us! We aren't that bad...promise" Vash offers and damn those critically effective puppy dog eyes he uses as he moves to get a bit closer too.

"It's not that I think you're bad, it's just...I mean I hardly know you" you try, you already know it won't work. Despite not knowing them you can tell they seem the hard headed type.

"We're soulmates" Nick counters lazily as if you're the one being irrational.

"I- I don't know, I'm cleaning up here and-" "we can help!" the eager blond insist, with another step closer.

"you really don't have to-" "it's the least we can do, we owe ya don't we?" Nick muses, again another step.

"Well I wouldn't say that, I'm sure it wasn't your fault-" "Maybe, maybe not but we've been looking for you for a long time" You notice Vash has a beauty mark right under his eye there's a weird urge to reach out and trace it.

"Looking for me?" you ask

"Mhmm, since we caused you a lifetime of distress I'm sure, blessed are the merciful and all that, it's your turn to receive a little mercy" ignoring the awful half bible quote Nick's smell is invading your nose, like smoke, cedarwood and-

You aren't 100% sure how it happens, all you know is you're sandwiched between the two men. It was a trap for sure, moving in ever so carfully like they were herding a scared animal. This should alarm you, two men you've just meet keeping you in place, but for some reason a warmth spreads across you. It's like seeing an old friend or coming home for holidays, a certain sort of familiarity and safeness despite not knowing much about the two at all.

"You can feel it can't you?" Vash coos down at you, using his flesh hand to tilt your head up to meet his face, stark blue eyes deeper than the ocean gaze down at you and god when did he take those glasses off?

"It was weird the first time we met too, but it feels good though right?" Nicks voice makes you shiver as his mouth ghost over your ear, hands coming to settle at your hips.

"It feels.." your eyes flutter "Like home" the three of you say in sync, Vash and Nick chuckle as if this was a predictable response but something tells you they must've said the same cheesy line when they first met.

"We don't want to hurt you anymore" Vash's other hand rubs soft circles against your ribs and you feel the sudden urge to melt into the two of them.

"We've been thinking...that we should balance it out." Vash hums as Nick works on nipping at your ear

"Balance it out?" You almost don't recognize your own voice with how breathy it ends up coming out. They really shouldn't be having this effect on you, you should be yelling, or scolding them- no you'd definitely scold them later that was still on the table but...right now seemed like a bad time.

"yeah sweetheart, pleasure for pain right?" Nick chuckles in your ear, deep and gravely whether it's from lust or the cigarette he just put out you aren't sure.

"So?" he continues, "What do you say?" you feel Vash kiss at the corner of your mouth and Nicks hot breath against your neck

"Let us show you how good we can make you feel instead?"