#sorta vent under the cut

[nompunhere]

Can you tell more about Predatory Instinct AU? Or it's something we'll know more about later? 👀👀👀

okay, so getting to this almost two months late, but I feel like rambling sooooo

basically, it's an H/K AU idea I had a while back that mainly focuses around the N/ailmasters. The basic premise is that some species of bug have a deep-seated instinct to hunt and consume prey, much greater than is normal for a "civilized" bug. Having the instinct is looked down upon in H/allownest, since everyone's all "the King brought us above our instincts, if you can't manage yours you must be lesser" and all that shiet. Those who are confirmed to have it are monitored closely by the authorities to prevent any... mishaps.

I guess the Hunter would have it, but we all already knew that, and Hornet probably has it to a lesser extent. But I came up with the idea for the N/ailbros, and they're who all the Thoughts I've had about it focus on. The storyline would follow some of their struggles and misadventures in dealing with this instinct, trying to sate it while not alerting the authorities. Lotta moral conflict in there. They don't all get large beasts to hunt, or have a conveniently bite-sized friend around to help them stave off the hunger. They may do things they aren't exactly proud of. (But hey, at least they aren't killing people. Hunter.) So uhhhhhh yeh! :>

The thing is, I am very hesitant about my idea for what would be the first fic in following this storyline, because the instinct kicks in when they're like. teens. and I know a large portion of the community is vehemently against characters that are minors being involved in vore stories or art, and I'm worried about getting yelled at, even if it's entirely non-sexual. like I mean I guess I could make it so that they're adults in the eyes of their legal system when the first scene happens, but also hmmnenmmnhemnmmeh. It could maybe work, but it's.. mm. I could also just skip it and build the story through context given in the future scenes, but also. Hh.

I feel like it's important that the story starts where it does, and how it does, and why it does. It happens the way it happens for a reason, they don't know what the instinct is or how to sate it until one of them reaches the breaking point and acts on it, and only then do they learn more about it and how to manage it more constructively. like maybe they could be young adults, but it. it make more sense to me if they're.. not quite there yet

also the fact that it's Sly, their adoptive pheckin father, who's the only prey around who 1. is small enough without needing shrinking phuckery, 2. cares about them and would go out of his way to support them through this, and 3. can and would keep a secret of this magnitude for them. but that's. a whole other thing.

tl;dr I am Scared but also I don't want to change my story just out of fear but also also I don't even know if I'll ever get around to writing it so maybe it doesn't pheckin matter anyway I dunno;;;

yeah maybe there was. uhm. a Reason I held off on this ask for a while, besides just procrastination. needed to yell into the void for a minute ig.

[anaalnathrakhs]

i WILL show up to the trial day for the preparatory class tomorrow no matter how much i dont want to and after that i guarantee NOTHING

[yandere-wishes]

𝕆𝕦𝕣 ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕪 𝕃𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝔾𝕚𝕣𝕝

Summary: You try to escape from two fearsome Sith Lords. Surprisingly they take it rather well.

Author's note: This is totally getting a part 2. Or maybe a series we'll see. 

Warnings: dark, absolutely no regard for the rule of two, sorta a vent fic (venting that these two are so fine and I can't get them out of my mind), slightly fluffy.

The empire's warships have a tendency to blur reality. The interiors of their large hulking exoskeletons house endless corridors and makeshift chambers. Vast, endless arrays of space. They've been optimized for housing droids, clones, and artillery. Not for escape, not for an endless search of a freedom that has long since eroded. 

Calling yourself anything but desperate would be a lie. Your feet run to the chorus of your broken heartbeat. The need for freedom, the need to escape spreads through your body like a poison. You know it'll end up killing you, either from exhaustion or by their sabars. But you have to try, you have to run. Even if you've left fragments of yourself in the warm bed the three of you sleep on. Even if you forgot your heart under Anakin's pillow and your soul still lingers in Maul's warm embrace. Maybe freedom is worth cutting off pieces of yourself, if only in the hope that someday they might grow back. 

There's something wrong with the corridors you're sure of it. You've never been one for directions, instead relying on the holo screens and navigation systems to lead the way. Mirror images as far as the eye can see. Identical, plain. Nothing substantial to store in your memory. There's something ironic about this situation, a punchline that doesn't quite land. You half haphazardly tug on the skirt of your nightgown, desperate for anything familiar. You're not sure why.

You remember how Anakin called you pretty this morning, still hazy, still clinging to the sensation of slumber. Perfect blue eyes too dazed to look at you. Really look at you. The chosen one gazes at your ghost, your ethos. the perfect doll he and Maul had morphed you into. Behind you

 Maul pulls you to his chest. Hand running up and down her side, trying to resurrect you into his dreams. It's only when Anakin's eyes close, seeling the shimmering blue orbs, that you crawl out of bed and into the unknown. 

You're lost, abandoned in absolute desolation. The marble tiles bleed frost into the soles of your feet. Somewhere in the distance, you feel a disturbance in the force. Too far away to matter, yet leaking with a potent rage that burns. It's hope you think, albeit pathetically, maybe it's better to capitulate this pointless crusade and wait for the Sith lords to find you. The crash comes just as you're about to stop. You bump into him, falling in the process. All armor and steel. The Stormtrooper's mask is off giving you a clear view of his scarred face. His eyes flash, some dreary emotion too obscure to read, he offers you a gloved hand, something human something casual. 

You stare frozen. 

When exactly did you stop comprehending human idiosyncrasies? 

When exactly did you start reading every interaction as a threat? 

He's a monster, you think, just like the ones you've been warned about. Lectured time and time again by both Anakine and Maul. Monsters pry on little girls, especially ones who wander off on their own. Monsters lurk behind unsuspecting walls, ready to pounce when their prey approaches. You wonder if, the definitive definition of "monster" could be passed on to the two Siths who call themselves your lovers. 

There's blood, too crimson to be real. Metallic aromas wafted through the air. You've only now noticed how close the disturbance in the force really is. Close enough to distinguish itself. To reveal that, in actuality, it's not a disturbance at all.

 It's two...

Something cold yanks at your forearm. Pulling you to your feet. for a split second, your nerves calm. The familiarity of the cybernetic arm grants you a heavy ease. Anakin pushes you over to where Maul is standing. Golden eyes burning holes through the stormtrooper's armor. 'He didn't do anything' you long to say. But the words wisely die on your tongue as Maul grips your shoulders. Anakine's saber is lit, stabbing through the soldier's armor as if it were flesh. As if killing him where as easy as killing a rogue thought. "You're quite a foolish soldier for daring to touch that which belongs to your commanders. Even more imbecilic for so much as looking at emperor Palpatine's disciple." 

Maul's grip on your shoulders tightens, eyes never once leaving the bloodshed. One of his hands instinctively roams to your belly, then slides down to your thigh. Rubbing it ever so gently as his claws pierce your soft skin. You close your eyes trying to make yourself smaller. You hate how his touch grounds you. How the familiarity plucks at your heartstrings. When he touches you like this you wish you would forever rot in his arms.

"'I'm sorry" You don't know why the words come so easily. As if they've been itching to spill from your tongue. Maybe it's easier to say 'I'm sorry' rather than 'You've broken my perception of love, of reality and now I can only find comfort in your darkness.' "Hush" Maul's anger spills with every syllable. His claws dig deeper, earning him a pained hiss from his doll. 

"You're not sorry, in fact, you rather enjoyed this didn't you? Running away making us chase you down, I never thought your species would enjoy being the prey so much, little one." Anakin walks over, saber seethed at his side. His every step promised pain, retribution. He's angry, furious. They both are, you wonder if maybe, just maybe, they'll end it all today. 

Maul's chambers have always been a testament to Dathomir, bathed in deep scarlets and endless ebony. You wonder if he's homesick for a place he's only visited in his worst ephialtes. After the incident in the corridors, they drag you back to the Zabrak's room. Neither bothering to say a word. Merely permitting their rage to engulf you, subduing you into submission. It's an unwelcome surprise when they begin to prep for the day. Throwing on their black cloaks, prior to choosing your outfit. An abnormal affinity settles across the room. Too unnerving to go unchecked. 

They dress you each morning, a ritual you think, some attestation of love that's never been quite right. Maul drapes you in velvet dresses. Each one harbors a sui generis softness that sits erroneously across your skin. Their opulent sensation only brings forth feelings of aversion and despair. Their softness an ode to your imprisonment. 

the dresses come in shades of crimson, detailed sometimes in black, sometimes in gold, and sometimes in a frigid blue that sends shivers running up your spine. 

Anakin fusses over your accessories, why they feel the need to dress you so extravagantly daily is beyond you -as you've come to realize many things are- On days when Anakin's hubris reaches its apex, he bathes you in gold. Astonishing glittering collars across your neck and Kuat bangles hanging from your wrists. When he's sober from his pride he chooses black diamonds. Simple and exotic. scintillate and opaque.

Allusions to the dark side.

A hidden reference that crawls inside you. 

Once, back when you'd been sure defiance was still an option. Back when callow hope still dared to flow through your veins. Back when you'd been a jejune, stubborn thing. You had refused to wear one of the dresses they'd bought. Adimant in your refusal until Maul had stuck out his hand. Summoning the Force to remind you just who held the supreme authority here. 

The Force had strangled you, clawing hungrily at your neck. You felt your bones caving in on themselves, watched with exacerbating hysteria as your feet abandoned the floor. He'd only released you when he was sure you were near death's adorned door. Permitting you to molder on the floor akin to a ragdoll. 

Anakin had chastised you after you'd conjured enough strength to sit up, gasping greedily for air. He'd broken two fingers that day. One still harbors a small scar.

A Promise ring. 

An augury.

There are days, few and far between. When they've deemed you've been behaving adequately for long enough. That they permit you the choice of which dress you'd fancy wearing for the day. It's a rare event, reserved as a special treat. You think it's their way of proposing variety, giving you the illusion of choice. Making you feel a little less smothered. 

Today is not one of those days. Today, you feel them pick you apart, only to reassemble you in their image. Drowning you in extravagance. A reminder, one whose deprecating nature weaves itself within your muscles. You, little girl, are nothing more than a doll. And dolls should know their place.

No sooner do you feel the final lace fasten across your back, that Anakin is tugging you outside the door. Metal arm clasped around your forearm. 

Maul follows behind molten gaze locked on your face. The hallways bend to their will as if the walls themselves quiver with their presence. You recognize this corridor, recognize the frigid forlorn. 

There's something wrong with Emperor Palpatine's throne room. It's surreal, makeshift. His real throne lays somewhere cold, somewhere even his apprentices don't dare wander off to. The ironclad throne has never felt right. Never felt like it held any real power. Just terror, just dread, just hatred. But here it is in all its glory. Left to two apprentices who'd rather treat it as a toy than a sacred place.

 Anakin dramatically throws himself onto the throne. One leg thrown over the armrest as he leans against the other. His other leg planted firmly on the ground. He keeps you steady on his thigh. Torturing you with his distant, disappointed look. Maul stands in front of you. His eyes liquid gold melting into you. You see the galaxy in them. Hear it whispearing secrets meant to be forgotten. It's Anakin's voice that rattles you from your disjointed thoughts. 

"You caused us so much worry angel" he's being nice. You don't trust that. There's something sinister plaguing his words.  

"You know Ani, she may cease escaping if you'd cease to spoil her." Maul leans down, gripping your chin and squeezing. " The brat forgets her place, merely cause you'd rather coddle her than discipline her." 

Anakin glares, a shift in his eyes, blue bleeding into gold. "Hmm, Maul, you're starting to sound an awful lot like Kenobi right now."

"Why's that? Did the old fool tend to also point out your shortcomings?" 

You wonder who this Kenobi is, as you watch the Siths' exchange crude childish vitriols. Maybe he'd make a better lover than the two men you have the misfortune of being adhered to. 

They never could truly see just how similar they were.

Two sides of the same coin. 

One born of copper, the other, black rose petals.

Subconsciously you reach out. Grasping Anakin's robotic hand, fiddling with the panel, peeling it away to gain access to the wires and circuits. You have a bad habit of ripping things open. Anakin learned this the first time he kissed you and you tried to gnaw at his chest with your nails. Not in malice, but rather to satisfy a ravenous curiosity. A raging need to open him and see just how he ticked. You'd wished to perform an autopsy on his soul. Rip him open and devour all his secrets. Back then you'd wondered if you could kiss sunrises into Anakin's eternal night. Strip him of bleak blackened skies and introduce him to stars and a moon that shines. He'd only vaguely permitted it. Opting to pluck the stars lying within you. Swiping them for steel and lava and other mundane things that fueled his incessant rage. 

Anakin's head dips, lips pressing on your jugular vein. "You're ethereal" Anakin mubbles against your skin, like the dying prayer of a collapsing star. He's so pretty when he kisses your neck. Biting away pieces of you. Stealing your light for himself. 

"Princess" Maul seethes venom pelting from his words. You realize you'd been ignoring him. Something he's not too fond of. "What in the stars was going through your pretty little head?" 

 he looks like he'd love nothing more than to wring your pretty little neck right now. "I just..." your words feel heavy. Tiny bullets polluting your tongue. It feels so cruel to say when you know just how much they love you. "I just wanted some freedom. Just a bit of space." 

"Dumb little angel" Anakin chastes. You lower your head in embarrassment watching Maul kneel in front of you. He cups your cheeks, placing a soft kiss on your head. "You can never escape us beloved".

 "I love you," says Anakin. All you hear is, I'll haunt you, I'll break your ribs one by one so that I may possess your heart. Maybe they mean the same thing. 

"And I'm pretty sure if Maul could feel normal emotions like everyone else, then he'd love you too." You can't help but let out a giggle as Anakin throws his head back laughing. A rare melodious sound, that causes your heart to skip a beat. Maul merely rolls his eyes before pecking you on the lips.

You trace your fingers across Maul's chest, feeling the pummelling of two hearts. A double heartbeat. Two melodies entwined, You wonder who he harbors in those hearts. One for love and one for family. You nip at his bottom lip. Ushering the blood into your mouth. He tastes of Ichor and smoke. Of sadness and rage. From behind you feel Akanin bite into the hollow of your flesh. Leaving traces of himself upon your skin. 

"Our pretty little problem" Anakin mumbles. 

You're a problem, a vexation draped in velvet, an unsolvable equation. Trapped between a love that seethes through your body like a toxin. Engulfing you until your mind relents. Maybe it's easier this way. Easier to say 'I love you' without the double entendre. 

You do love them.

A rather arduous conclusion to reach.

Maul and Anakin.

Palpatine's apprentices. 

Your lovers

Yeah, that sounds about right...

💜💜: @athanasia-day @hotpinkboots @jenn-patterson-69 @nickiiiixoxo-blog @the-chains-are-the-easy-part

[pixlokita]

Hey guys, I think it’s time I set some boundaries!

1. No arguing or pushing your head-canons if you disagree, just move on 🙏 we’re all just having fun.

2. No self promoting -w-

3. I am not a licensed therapist, please don’t treat me like one.

4. No dubs allowed and no reposts ฅ(≚ᄌ≚)

For more information click under the cut 🫶 thank you and have fun and stay safe 💖

Tbh I appreciate all the comments and asks I get so much but sometimes when you want to start an argument about my headcanons because they contradict yours or your AUs it sorta kinda ? Bothers me ? Since it’s my blog and my safe space if you don’t like it just don’t say anything or unfollow me ^^ otherwise I’ll just block you without warning (｡･･｡) nothing personal. Like it’s ok to talk about your headcanons and your AUs but don’t use my blog to self promote them specially if we don’t agree on stuff.

The reason I’m not allowing dubs is because reposts and dubs without credit have gotten way out of hand, people aren’t even asking or crediting the correct artists if they even decide to credit at all. Sincerely, I do appreciate the dubs that got permission and proper credit 💖 but for now I just need a break for a bit because it gets overwhelming and pretty depressing. Thank you for understanding 🫶

While I’m ok and happy to offer advice on general matters I’m not a therapist.

If you need professional help please don’t vent to strangers online or take it out on them, get professional help. There’s resources and options, everyone is dealing with a lot of things so be mindful.

[vaultlinkvt]

This is the first proper thing I've drawn in ages (and first are I think I've posted in over 5 years?) I just needed to draw the opening to Act 5 and my reaction to it.

Nothing has gripped me in such a way and forced me to finish an art piece like this in so fucking long. I see far too much of myself in him. I just want them to be ok after this is all over. STARS, this is just Asriel all over again isn't it. But WORSE!/pos

…I guess that could make this vent adjacent? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I also made a shitpost edit that I posted separately here.

There are so many things covered by each other and I just need to share and talk about them. Bonus details and rambles under the cut.

Siffrin's expression was like the first thing I drew and if it didn't turn out as good as it did I probably wouldn't have spent almost 10 days slowly adding to this and I just need to show it because his hands/arms end up covering most of their face.

Nothing much else to say about him, I'm just super happy with how everything about him turned out (I did have to go back and redraw some of his hair towards the end because the line thickness wasn't consistent with everything I drew after.

Next is ME yippeeeee. I have no idea why I spent so long adding details even tho I knew alot of it would get covered by Sif 'cause of how I was posing this.

I even designed a little button based on the Change Ornament + Star (the Change Belief and Lost Belief in The Universe really spoke to me in so many ways)

The gloves are an Archery Glove on the right hand and a Drawing/Writing Glove on the left.

The cloak is based on the style of cloak my mom made for my family for SCA events when I was young. It's just a simple hooded cloak but it has a slit in each side so you can stick your hands threw without needing to open up the cloak. I imagine it being stylized like, the opening doesn't exist until you stick your hands threw and then it can just freely glide around the face of the cloak to wherever it's needed, stopping at the elbow only letting threw the forearm, below the slit beginning to hang off the elbow with gravity while the part above begins to move with the upper arm.

I didn't even try to draw the outfit under the cloak because dealing with the folds of a thick wool cloak was enough for me (you can see how I gave up at the knees because I KNEW Sif was gonna cover them up). What I imagine the outfit being is this big baggy tunic and pants that are tied down at the forearms/calves to keep from getting in the way, it's also supposed to have a big baggy turtleneck thing that can be pulled up as a(nother) hood (iirc, this sorta thing was used so someone could wear a chainmail hood without it grabbing your hair(there ware also like stand alone cloth hoods that did the same thing too but eh, my memory is bad I might just be misremembering this)) but I couldn't figure out the folds and ended up just doing a simple button up thing (which then got covered by Sif's big head anyway.)

I spent soooo long trying to draw my eyes, trying to figure out the shape, and ended up just doing a bunch of small tests to the side before finding one that actually looked right. Drag it over the face and see that it fit EXACTLY, didn't even need to redraw it or anything.... unless you're talking about the other eye in which case I just duplicated it, flipped, and did some perspective warping until it looked ok because I could NOT draw that again especially at a different perspective (can I just say I have no idea how I drew that creepy eye but I love it, it was the first eye I drew and I just threw 4 lines down what the fuck how. Also the Mira-ish one looks cute too but didn't fit the expression.) I also needed to figure out what the hell was wrong with the expression I had before so you get 2 faces from me figuring that out (turns out I had the eyebrows facing the wrong way.)

I ALMOST FUCKING FORGOT MY FRECKLES TOO AAAAAAAAA (they're actually missing from the version I posted in the official ISaT server.) It was super weird trying to add them at the obscenely low resolution I was drawing at and they're probably gonna get compressed to hell and back but I think they're cute.

final thing.

Why is my hair so similar to Sif's but longer? Like, you can see I was sketching over my drawing of him to make sure I'd keep the proportions right when I started working on myself but in the process I realized that I was basically drawing over his hair but longer for mine (drawing I was using as ref here made by @leemak)

Add that to the uncomfortably long list of things I have in common with Siffrin I guess.

[bustedxblue]

Couldn't sleep so did a (sorta) vent. I've mentioned 2-D's clown mask is his way to mask... So, I designed Rump one. Tried to go for a mirror look, as that's how the whole thing feels to me per my experience, but my skills set for that kind of shading is still piss poor. Always next time. Ramble under the cut

I've been masking years. Only now do I realize it and can catch myself when I do, but the damage is done. I always think I can break it and take it off for good, shattering it so I don't have to do it again... but it always comes back on when I don't notice. It's not constant as I have people who like me for me in my life now. Though, I know of those whom I have to hide from all for the sake of personal safety.

There's something coming up that's going to make me put it back on. I'll be meeting a monster from my past again. I'm not ready.

[almightyhamslice]

Versus Chef Kawasaki! This man found a weird star somewhere in Dreamland and his first idea was to cook it and see what it tasted like. I think he is going to get himself killed if this is just a normal thing for him. Then again, maybe he has an incredibly high poison tolerance that we just dont know about??? Anyways I posted the first image on discord and someone said he looked like Jesus LOL. Like smh not every guy with long brownish hair and a beard is trying to be Jesus!! He just has those cuz I think they suit him! And his hair isn't always the same color. Just generally it's a sorta rusty orange color (like the outside of a ham....) to match his in game sprites. Again I find that I go about coloring these the way Araki might. Nothing's all that consistent but it's fun that way!

I've actually drawn Kawasaki using a similar design to this one before! The only real difference is that he doesn't have crow's feet here, since he's somewhat younger. I'll add them later in the timeline! During Super Star/Ultra I think? He's just a normal human guy who has a passion for cooking, no special abilities or anything. He's just very smart when it comes to food! (though idk maybe not SUPER smart since. he did just pick up a weird star and try to eat it LOL. He is open to experimentation even if it will kill him???) I also think it was interesting how he's cooking but he's outside? I suppose he was camping then since Kirby was! Maybe THATS why I think KSS is set in summer...

Also does this new pen suck or what??? I do NOT like using it its so flimsy. I hope it runs out so I can use something else LOL.

Anyhow, bad news & vent under the cut:

I'm gonna be brief abt this since I dont want to go into detail but essentially I was in a bad accident yesterday n I'm really traumatized about it! No one was hurt but it was just really scary and I'm all sore and have bruises from it now. So I'm doing that thing that fanfic authors sometimes do where I'm posting even though real life is very dire and scary. My car got wrecked though, so I could probably use more commissions right about now... though I don't know if I'll be able to work on them because I'm sore! Maybe I should start commissions in a week or perhaps several. Point is I don't feel good at all but I'm still drawing Kirby because it makes me feel somewhat better.

[archangel-zadkiel]

Little vent under the cut

Tw medical stuff, disability woes (which isn't a tw just a life thing for me), and what I think is sorta malpractice but dunno if it is or not?

I have been suffering with chronic back pain and fatigue for ...Jesus 5+ years now. With it only getting worse over the years. It's gotten to the point where I cannot even make it through the dollar store without breaking out into a drenched sweat due to the pain and physical exertion it causes me.

I can't make it through most stores due to the pain it causes me to physically walk.

I was walking one day and my whole lower half numbed even

That was the point where I considered a wheelchair as an option for me????

I went to the doctor (this is 2 months after getting an epidural for pain mind you) and asked him, what if I got a wheelchair

And he suggested that getting a wheelchair would make me not want to walk. At all.

You know what's really not making me not want to walk at all???? My fucking back.

Want to know what's making me want to destroy everything around me and myself? My back.

Seriously didn't think itd be a big deal

He ordered a roleator and I had to find someone to get it for me....seriously feel so done with everything

I was gonna use a mobility cart at target today and they say they hold up to 500lbs and they wouldn't go with me sitting in them (I am overweight due to my not being able to move...but not 500+lbs???? So are they lieing? Idk...)

I'm just upset :(

[c0smicjayy]

Would you rather be in a coma for 20 years, or have 20 years retracted from your lifespan?

under a readmore bc this is probably dark and a bit accidentally vent heavy but tldr: idk!

tysm for the ask tho i really appreciate it :3

soo this is definitely a difficult question to answer? i think to a lot of people they'd believe the outcome would be the same but it wouldnt to me

I'm disabled. my very existence in unfortunately a strain on others as i have to rely on them and my family is very very poor. if i went into a coma, that would be a further cost to those i love and there's nothing that feels worse to me than knowing i cant do anything but take and take from everyone around me

if i died earlier, people could move on and ik for a fact that that would most likely be beneficial to my family. I've cut off contact with them before and they thrived in my absence and it was when i moved back in that everything went back downhill. maybe that was a coincidence but I can't help but feel like that was my fault, that I'm some sorta bad luck charm to them all? idk im just finally in a place where, though everything still hurts just as much as it did before, i can truly say i dont want to die?

its probably selfish of me to consider but a part of me wants to pick the coma bc it's a guarantee that when i wake up i'd be able to see how my little siblings grew up, I'd be able to see if my absence truly affected others outside of the money part, and maybe me waking up would bring everything ive accidentally destroyed back together? everyone would probably fawn over me for a bit, even if they ending up resenting me for the coma and what it costed to keep me alive during it. and if i was in a coma for twenty years i feel like people would be way more forgiving after when I don't know what I'm doing and struggle with simply existing than they do now, at least for a bit of time anyway

this is probably a bit nonsensical and too much thought for the simple question im sorry

[korships]

personal // sorta vent not too negative under cut

anyways. i usually hate how deeply and strongly i feel emotions (b/pd gang wya)

but selfshipping has helped direct those strong emotions in like. the least self destructive way i got.

especially omi and rosi. like i feel such deep love for them. sometimes so deep it stings, but most the time im just happy thinking of them. content.

i love them both so much. my soulmates fr

anyways

rosi ball

[oogaboogaspookyman]

Okayy SO 👏

This is what the guy behind the scares is like

Under the cut because lomg

I'm a teen that's mentally older and bears the curse of autism /silly

I'll be very silly goofy a LOT of the time, it's sorta second nature now

Not asexual, trans* or anything of the sort so i WILL get a few things wrong when writing characters that ARE part of these groups. Feel free to tell me if i do mess something up and i'll do my best to fix it

I don't have the best skill when it comes to taking things seriously, i'm very goofy and immature and even then when i do take things seriously, it turns out as gibberish because i'm also very shit with words

I'm very fucking stupid lmao i play around with scary and fucked up themes and all because i like it and it's sorta therapeutic, getting to make a character expirience my pain y'know? Although i also play with things i don't know enough and apparently it's not my choice whether i wanna google the theme to learn more or not. This means i WILL get something wrong and when it does happen, tell me and i'll fix it up as best i can

That being said, i also lack the control i guess? Like- i'm not good with choices either, and besides i don't even get the chance to choose because then my own damn body goes "no lol" like the lazy useless piece of shit it is

Funky sense of humour. I laugh at a lotta things. Yes this includes fucked up stuff, i have a bit of liking for dark jokes, which is another flaw of mine i believe...

Overall i'm pretty much a cheetah when it comes to- checks notes- BEING HUMAN, so don't expect me to do a good job dealing with certain stuff

Oh yeah i'm also loud, impulsive and kinda active in a way?? Doesn't take away the chill from me tho! At least i hope not- i try to be chill and laid back and keep my god damn hands in line, and if you've known me for a while you'd know i do a bad job at that...

I'm not a stable guy. Like, at all. If you've seen the shit that happened a few times, you'd know the extent of my instability. I won't blame you for looking at me like a monster or murderer, but just don't come at me about it, i got it bad enough.

Little bonus: if you've seen this and feel like it's a little different, that's because i edited this to not be a vent! I sorta got lost in my feelings so it went to shit and turned into a vent, and after something that happened i decided to trim this and make it at least a bit more friendlier and peaceful. If i did a good job, tell me and i'll love you forever

[fuzzydreamin]

Hallo! For your Nora:

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

🐈 CAT — does your oc prefer a wide circle of friends or a few close friends?

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

😊 SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES — what are your oc's career/general life desires? what do they want to get the most out of life?

🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

💯 HUNDRED POINTS SYMBOL — share three random facts about your oc that others may not know.

Oof I'm always bad at thinking up unprompted things like this...

Her favourite colour is blue. She doesn't mind Piper calling her 'Blue' because of this, even though it started because of her vault suit and she's not too fond of vault related things.

She was in a car accident in her late teens - she caused it by speeding and no one else was hurt (empty road). She has a very faint scar on her left arm from it.

Nora looks a lot like her mother, who sorta just looks like an older, blonde version of her. Their personalities differ a lot though.

🐈 CAT — does your oc prefer a wide circle of friends or a few close friends?

Both? Nora is very social. She definitely prefers the company of those who know her best, but if that turns out to be a fair amount of people then that's good -great even.

Nora didn't have many friends before the bombs. She just didn't have time to maintain a real social life alongside all of her studying and then working on an army base, and she felt her ambitions mattered more. People often liked her well enough, they just didn't have the chance to get close most of the time. Nate put in a real effort to get her to go out with him, and then to not just let it be a casual fling.

She did become friends with Ms Rosa across the road during her pregnancy with Shaun, and she was trying to befriend other neighbours too. Obviously that was cut short.

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

Her family, specifically Nate and Shaun at the start of her story, but that grows to encompass many more people.

She's very sentimental about items she has from loved ones too. Before the bombs she didn't care too much for possessions, but having lost everything she holds tight to the few things she has left -like her rings, Nate's holotape gift, and things she gets from companions like Mac's soldier toy.

😊 SMILING FACE WITH SMILING EYES — what are your oc's career/general life desires? what do they want to get the most out of life?

Nora is quite ambitious, but she mostly wanted/wants to make a positive change.

She joined the JAG/army in hopes of helping to end the war, and was upset to put things on hold to have Shaun, but she had also begun to look forward to building a family with Nate.

Once her fixation on finding/saving Shaun is dashed she turns her ambitions towards the Minutemen and continuing to help the people of the Commonwealth.

She does struggle with her ambition though, and has brushes with letting power or the pursuit of it get to her head. She wants it because she feels a need to have control to be able to protect those she cares about and reduce her potential future loses, but sometimes the cost would be too high and she needs to either realise that herself or be made to. She's not a megalomaniac or anything, but power corrupts.

🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

She might talk to herself sometimes -like, muttering comments under her breath when she thinks no one else will hear them. Also if it's just her and Dogmeat she will talk to him.

The first is more about venting frustrations with the wasteland and situations she finds herself in, the second is about staving off loneliness -also he's a dog so she doesn't have to fear his judgement of her and can vent more freely.

She may also play with her wedding rings, turning them around on her fingers, etc. Or twirl a bit of her hair around a finger if she's particularly lost in thought and doesn't realise she's doing it.

[coffee-dere]

Random chattering that's sorta a vent I guess under the cut ^_^"

Hello!!! Sorry I've kind of been rushing through things like drawing and stuff lately... Schools started up again and it's been a NIGHTMARE, so it's a bit hard to post as much as I'd like to.. Hnnnnnngh existing in the real world is such a pain sometimes..... :( But, I'm glad I have you wonderful people at least!! And I'll do my best to stop rushing to get things done as much!! I can't improve if I do that..!! Anyways, I'm rambling but yeah!! I just.. Felt like saying something I suppose <3

[caramelmochacrow]

hey. im sorry but i need to just. spill this because it's sorta been in my mind for a few months, not outwardly, but a feeling i finally realized when this term ended.

(a vent about myself under the cut, sorry.)

i really hate how much im separated and need to hide myself from people. even if it's something simple and dumb to hide.

like, will you believe me if i say i need to keep my love of math from all of my classmates? everyone in my class hates it, they complain all the damn time and im the only one who genuinely enjoys math (even though i get frustrated with it sometimes). everytime i say "i love algebra!" or "i love graphs!" they look at me as though i am a liar or im some sort of freak. even my friends, they tell me to shut up when i say it out loud even though i dont say anything when they say they want our math teacher to die or they complain about something i like about math. (which kinda hurts me as well lol)

i understand the dislike for math, i disliked it before, but saying you genuinely want our teacher to die just because she teaches a subject you dislike is fucking dumb. i was starting to unlearn that, but now im starting to relearn it, which isnt helping myself at all. (i really want to tell them off about it, but i dont want to also.)

there's also my love of music that i've complained here before once, i need to keep it quiet because when they hear someone likes anime or j-pop they think im a weeb that's obsessed w anime men and want to see them butt naked. i hate it. i hate when i listen to rock, i hate when i listen to metal, but i love it so much i cant. i don't even listen to music in school anymore because i feel so self conscious about it. i feel that i'll be judged at and be seen as some sort of weirdo that they'll whisper about behind my back.

there's also the glaring obvious fact that im very-gay-for-girls-but-also-a-transguy. im in an all girls school, but there are a few non-cis people here for semi obvious reasons. i dont feel comfortable being out much for obvious reasons and i feel miserable here. most of the people here are actually chill w the trans people in my school but some just love asking uncomfortable questions like why they were there instead of the boys school or about their names. it freaks me out. it scares me. it makes me want to never come out and be myself. there was this time today when i was in my business class and made my nickname for this game 'birdboy' which led to my teacher asking why i used boy rather than girl, which led to me and my friend (another non-cis person and one of the people i came out to) saying that it just flowed better and not because i was a transguy. that teacher was surprisingly chill w trans people being in her class though, she asked my friend his preferred name and started calling him that, there's also another friend of mine in that class and she's also chill w him and his name, so i think she's ok.

other than my gender, there's my sexual orientation, which im not even sure on. i like girls, girls are can be pretty and handsome, but if i said that, they would hate me for being gay(?), which is also terrible because most people in my school are homophobic, yay. i got asked once for no fucking reason and without prompt if i liked girls or boys and i fucking panicked and said i didn't like either, which led them to asking if i was straight or bi (didn't even say lesbian, smh) which i also denied because i didn't rlly liked men anyway (what they got for not saying lesbian) and also didn't want to say i was gay(?) to my entire class before a fucking we went to our social studies class. i was so fucking scared when they asked that.

like, my school is accepting of queer people and lets them wear what type of uniform they like (except for me because my mom filled out my form for me which didnt let me put my preferred pronouns and kind of uniform) but it feels so hard to believe with the amount of hate towards specifically those who aren't fem presenting. it makes me feel torn apart with if i want to be who i want to be or be hidden behind this false version of myself that ive been hiding behind for almost my entire life. i feel so terrible.

i feel so disconnected from people of my own culture as well. i suck at tagalog, i know how to talk in tagalog, but i speak like a little five year old. every time i speak to other filipino people, there's a disconnection, there's a thing i dont understand or know about my own culture. i feel like some sort of failure as a filipino person.

im better at english than tagalog, so that means i must be fine, right? no. not at all. other than the other stuff i said above, they dont use american english, the one i learned. and since i lived my entire life in the philippines, i dont know some stuff in new zealand. they get shocked when i dont know something that is pretty much so well known here, when i dont know the british equivalent of an american word or when i dont know any maori words. i feel so fucking dumb every time it happens.

i just hate how much i dont know and how disconnected i feel from the world and those around me.

[10asui]

I normally don't post stuff like this but I just need to get this out.

If you don't want to interact with this you don't have to.

A sorta vent under the cut.

My mom never takes me seriously on my problems.

I am never able to talk with anyone.

None of my friends live near me.

I can never see anyone.

My parents would never accept my relationship.

Most of my problems get overshadowed and undermined.

I am never able to cry around people.

I have been diagnosed with insomnia and my medicine just makes me more tired.

Noone around me takes my misophonia seriously.

My mom threatened to not let me draw anymore because my grades are dropping.

She says she'll love me no matter what, but when I have a problem that effects her personally she gets mad and yells.

She makes fun if me as a joke but never looks my way when it makes me cry.

I just can't bring myself to care about things anymore.

I am never able to take myself seriously.

Sometimes it just hurts to smile.

I can never stay awake.

The kids at my school are just the worst.

I swear my brother wants me dead.

My mom always says I'm so blessed so I can never feel bad about myself.

I just wish I could talk to someone but I just can't.

Even when I get the chance I'm still unable to.

I can't help it.

I wish I could just go back to being a six year old again.

This was way harder to post then it should have been.

I just can't express myself properly.

I'm sorry.

[glockhashira]

Tell us about Tokogami lad

WELL SINCE YOU ASKED (what have you done)

Kyaruka Tokogami was once known as "The Nightmare Hashira" but is now affectionately named "The Demon Hashira" due to him being the only Hashira that has turned into a demon and stayed in the Corps.

He's the younger brother to Kyaruka Momoka, The Star Pillar, and is constantly under her watchful protection.

Tokogami is described as being charismatic yet a little awkward. Some say he's a bit intimidating when you first meet him but once you talk to him he's quite friendly! He tends to be quiet by nature and is very expressive, though if you get him in front of the right people, he can be quite loud.

He looks up to Sanemi and Rengoku a lot, which explains a little bit of his personality.

Toko always wants to make friends, because he finds himself always feeling lonely, especially since he can't go outside. But in the same vein, he doesn't want to be a hindrance to anyone unnecessarily, so he keeps to himself most of the time.

Tokogami was forcefully turned into a demon by Muzan with the expectation that he would follow command and become an Uppermoon. But he fights off Muzan's command fueled by the love he has love for his sister and the desire he had to protect his friends, his inferiors and the innocent. He doesn't have outbursts that much because he learned to control himself a lot more.

Though, Toko's demon transformation happened within the same week he became a Hashira. He had to keep it a secret from the others. Until Ubuyashiki found out and managed to convince Tokogami to tell the other Hashira, or at least just Shinobu.

Shinobu wasn't very phased by the information, revealing she had suspicions of it the whole time.

Telling the others however, was a completely different monster to tackle. But through the help of Ubuyashiki, telling the other Hashira went as smoothly as it could. Though that didn't stop Sanemi from threatening his life every now and again.

Tokogami cannot go out during the day as much as he wants to. It makes him sorta depressed sometimes but it's something he learned to live with. Due to this, he tends to ask his inferiors to do him favors that he'd usually do himself, like picking his favorite fruit or his favorite flowers or running errands for him. He tries to repay them as quickly as possible. He usually feels very guilty about making them do all the work.

His approach to his job is commonly criticized because sometimes he can come off as a little too careless or nonchalant. That's usually because lower demons are just ants to him and they don't take much to defeat. So he doesn't see the merit in wasting extra energy trying to seem bothered by their presence. Though he can take things seriously but when he does he just becomes a straight up lunatic. He always opts to making a demon's death quick yet painful. He'll go to absurd lengths to prove he's not messing around.

Tokogami views Tanjiro, Nezuko, Zenitsu and Inosuke as younger brothers or cousins, as they reminded him of his own. They had parallel personalities and everything. Toko promised himself that he'd never let any of them get hurt.

He also has a similar view of Muichiro and Genya. Though for Genya, it was a lot more personal, as one of his siblings was exactly like him in every aspect.

His love language is mostly acts of service and spending time. He likes making people gifts as a means of telling them he appreciates them. He also loves listening to people talk, whether to vent or to talk about something they're passionate about.

Other snippets:

• Tokogami's training is focused mainly on focus and agility.

• Nightmare Breathing has 6 forms, as far as he's aware.

• Tokogami became a Hashira when he was 18. His sister started at the same age.

• He's really good friends with Mitsuri, Rengoku and Tengen!

• Cutting off his head doesn't kill him. At the current moment, nobody knows what would kill him. (Not even me tbh)

• Toko really wants to befriend Kanao but is just as socially awkward as she is.