#sorting hat chats

[the-phoenix-heart]

Sorting Hat Chats - A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Heeeey I'm back again. Hunger Games is one of my recent hyperfixations, so I'm doing a sorting of the latest book/film. I'll only be sorting Coriolanus Snow and Lucy-Gray Baird in this post. And Dr. Gaul oops.

An explanation of the system I am using can be found here. (Credit: @wisteria-lodge )

SPOILERS FOR A BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES BOOK AND FILM

LUCY-GRAY BAIRD is a thriving, healthy Snake secondary through and through. She loves performing, she loves playing coy, and she clearly relishes in getting one up on her enemies. This is a woman who turn her death sentence into a concert. Her plan to defeat Reaper, someone larger and deadlier than her, is to piss him off and give him the run around until he dies of exhaustion (or drinks from a poisoned puddle). To get one up on Mayfair when her name is called Lucy-Gray puts a snake in her dress to freak her out and subsequently humiliate her on live TV. No punches held back.

She's described by her actress as "a performer in a hunt," and she is. She always gives off the impression that she is always acting and always authentic in every moment. Snow certainly can never tell if she's lying or not and for all his faults he is smart.

CORIOLANUS SNOW meanwhile is a Bird secondary (I know, oh the irony) and the two secondaries slot in well together. In ABOSAS we see how he is always calculating in every interaction how he can leverage this for the most gain. He wears a carefully manufactured mask playing up whatever trait he has to to get what he wants from the person he is talking to. That's the Actor Bird in him, he can't just become someone like Lucy-Gray can. Which is why Snow works so well as a mentor for her. He can make all the plans he wants and give her every advantage to win, and she can immediately go along with it without skipping a beat.

We also see his Bird secondary on full display when he starts to come into power. He immediately starts making plans for the 11th Hunger Games when he comes back to the Capitol. His signature method for killing people is poison, and in sixty years that never changes. It's a risky plan that always works so why would he change it? And of course we know after he becomes president just how much effort he puts into controlling Katniss with more and more plans.

As for their primaries, well, that's why they constantly misunderstand each other. Coriolanus and Lucy-Gray look at each other and they both see a Snake primary, but those aren't their true sortings. Lucy-Gray is wearing a Snake primary model, and Coriolanus is wearing a Snake primary performance, not even a model.

Lucy-Gray loves the Covey, but at the end of the day when Mayor Lipp wants her dead Lucy-Gray doesn't need to think twice about running away. She knows they can take care of themselves, and she values her own freedom above anything else. It's apparent also in how she treats Billy-Taupe. She loved him once, but the moment he cheated on her she immediately cut him out of her life and doesn't seem to regret that decision. "Without trust you might as well be dead to me."

Lucy-Gray is a Lion primary, and like her secondary it's healthy. Her mantra is "Nothing you can take from me was ever worth keeping." She's another example of the Jack Sparrow style of Lion primary, the Fae lion. Freedom is good and control is bad. It's also why when she leaves Snow she makes it a whole production where she sings him "The Hanging Tree" and runs around him as a way to fuck with him. She knows that Corio isn't the man she thought he was and she wants to show him she knows.

Lucy-Gray is the Yin to Katniss's Yang. Katniss is a famous Snake Lion, and Lucy-Gray is the inverse of that, a Lion Snake. That quote about Lucy-Gray being a performer in a hunt is followed by Katniss being "a hunter in a performance." The revolution in a small way begins with Lucy-Gray and is ended by Katniss. Lucy-Gray loves freedom before all else, and that means she is never going to fight the Capitol like Katniss would, "it's too early for [K]atniss," she says. But Katniss is that Snake primary who loves so deeply and devastatingly that of COURSE she would end up fighting the Capitol.

But I think Lucy-Gray likes Snake primaries. I think she likes how much the value freedom, but also the way they value their people. That's what she sees when she sees Snow, a man who will do anything to protect the people he loves over himself. But that's just a performance Snow puts on, because he knows that looks much more nobler than what he actually is.

Snow actually primary matches Lucy-Gray. When we see him he's a young lion. The impression I get from Snow is entitlement. He thinks because of the way he was born that he just inherently deserves to have what is owed to him. But after it's found out that he cheated to help Lucy-Gray win, he is stripped of what little he had and sent to be a peacekeeper. He doesn't know what he wants anymore, because he can't have what he truly wants, so he convinces himself what he wants is Lucy-Gray. Except, the moment he realizes he can absolutely still get that power he turns on her immediately.

His goals never change, in the end Snow does indeed land on top, as he achieves those goals. He becomes president, and then it becomes all about maintaining power and control. And that's the real crux of his Lion primary. Like Lucy-Gray he is a Fae Lion, but on the opposite end of the spectrum. Power and control are good, and he should have that over everyone else in the world. I also see his primary in his method of choice for killing people. He willingly poisons himself so no one catches on, that is some lion devotion to his cause of control.

But, despite him trying to appear completely composed at all times, you can see that very emotional Lion primary underneath it all. I mean, he's clearly obsessed with screwing over Katniss's life in particular because he sees both Lucy-Gray and Sejanus in her. Meanwhile everything he does that fucks with Peeta is to fuck with her, despite the fact that he was also part of that suicide threat. He doesn't like that emotional Lion I think. What he wants is to maintain control over everything, and the appear as though he has this carefully constructed worldview/ideology. He has these intelligent/convincing arguments on the power of hope and the purpose of the games. It can look very Bird to people, and I think it is. DR. GAUL is absolutely a Double Bird Mad Scientist, and I think Snow adopted a Bird primary model based off of hers.

So...

Lucy-Gray Baird - Lion primary, Snake model/Snake secondary

Coriolanus Snow - Lion primary, Bird model and Snake performance/Bird secondary

Dr. Gaul - Bird primary/Bird secondary

[arizonaraine]

SHC: Kevin McCallister, Home Alone

So, I've not posted anything in years. But I am alive and well, thanks for asking :) Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! I recently rewatched Home Alone and have been thinking about my favorite blonde home security system's sorting. See TLDR below if you want a summary.

Kevin starts the movie as a very immature Snake primary. He wants what he wants-- a plain cheese pizza and a room to himself-- and doesn't seem overly concerned with the feelings of others. When he wakes up and discovers his entire family has disappeared, his first response is jubilation. I personally think that a Badger primary would have been pretty disturbed by this sudden lack of community, and a Bird would have questioned a bit more exactly what happened. Kevin, as a Snake primary, goes about living his best life. He jumps on the bed, raids his brother's room, eats a massive ice cream sundae, and watches the movie he was excluded from viewing.

The more time he spends alone, though, the more he realizes that he loves and misses his people. He sleeps with the family picture under his pillow. When making his request to Santa, he says, "I just want my family back. No toys, no presents, nothing but Peter, Kate, Buzz, Megan, Linnie, and Jeff. And my Aunt and my cousins. And, if he has time, my Uncle Frank." Frank, it seems, hasn't made it into Kevin's tiered Snake primary loyalty system.

Another hint at his primary is his conversation with Old Man Marley. He says, "I don't care how mad I was, I'd talk to my dad. Especially around the holidays." His dad is important than being right in whatever disagreement separated Marley and his son. I think a Lion wouldn't have that same sentiment, even if they missed their parent.

Lastly, after he runs home from that chat with Marley at the church, Kevin says, "This is my house. I have to defend it." What makes it worth defending is that it's his.

I think that Kevin has an impressive Bird secondary, though an argument could be made for Snake. The way I see it, Kevin is a planner. In his post-shower monologue, he lists all the things he's done til that point, and then discusses what he plans to do later in the day. He makes grocery lists and clips coupons. He draws up a master plan for the defense of his house, using tools that he's collected up to that point in the movie (micro machines, Christmas ornaments, etc.). He utilizes the mannequins in the basement for the fake Christmas party.

While he's pretty good at pivoting, it doesn't seem to be where he's at his best. At the grocery store, he manages to avoid the cashier's questions (Actor Bird?), but he doesn't appear to take any pleasure in being sly. He uses the movie the trick Marv, but it leads to further suspicion from Harry, which spells trouble for Kevin. When he's caught at the end, he doesn't try to run or talk his way out of it-- he's just stunned. His plan, which had been going so well, failed! Thankfully, his Snake primary saves the day. The connection he forged with Old Man Marley pays off. (The ending scene where he and Marley wave at each other always makes me cry.)

TL;DR

Kevin McCallister is a Snake primary who is alone in his inner circle in the beginning, but realizes how much his family means to him and brings them into his value system. His Snakey connection with Old Man Marley saves him in the end. His Bird secondary enjoys laying plans, clipping coupons, and making lists. He can pivot when he needs to, but that's not the first tool that falls to his hand.

(@wisteria-lodge what's your archetype name for the Snake Bird again? :))

[sortinghatchats]

OFFICIAL SORTINGHATCHATS QUIZ V2.0

Just uploaded a new version of the Official Sortinghatchats Quiz!

This new version includes new questions! Less bugs! A way to save your progress and come back later!

For those of you unfamiliar with our sortinghatchats system, we sort in two ways here:

Primaries: WHY you do what you do (morals, motivations, beliefs)

Lions are Idealist - Felt - Internal Primaries

Badgers are Loyalist - Felt - External Primaries

Birds are Idealist - Built - External Primaries

Snakes are Loyalist - Built - Internal Primaries

Secondaries: HOW you do what you do (methods, means, behaviors)

Lions are Solid - Improvisational - Inspirational Secondaries

Badgers are Fluid - Constructed - Inspirational Secondaries

Birds are Solid - Constructed - Situational Secondaries

Snakes are Fluid - Improvisational - Situational Secondaries

Neither your Primary or your Secondary is the more important sorting-- that's just the order we write them in (Primary/Secondary). Both WHY and HOW are important!

I lost my original source code for this quiz, so this involved rebuilding it from scratch! The sortinghatchats discord & my patient friends have been amazing in assisting me with balancing this quiz & also bug-testing it. I'd be thrilled if you checked it out!

[air-in-words]

Anastasia: SortingHatChats

Hey, guys, I back now.

Anastasia time.

So, as a DISCLAIMER: THIS FILM IS A WORK OF FICTION. I highly recommend looking into the actual history behind the film if you're interested!

Here we go!

(I seem to recall there being a sorting already posted of Anastasia, but I remember disagreeing with most of it? Absolutely no offense meant to whoever originally posted it! These are just my two cents!)

ANASTASIA/ANYA

BADGER PRIMARY

Anya's entire storyline revolves around the ideas of "family," "home," and "belonging." Not just her own, personal family (which would be Snake,) not necessarily the home she remembers being born into (as far as she knows, she's an orphan,) and not only her own state of belonging. She deals in the concept of these things as though they were basic necessities: everyone should want them, and she wants them because everyone needs them in order to be whole. This is truth to her, full stop.

Anya: "Do you think you're gonna miss it?"

Dimitri: "Miss what, your talking?

Anya: "No! Russia."

Dimitri: "Nope."

Anya: "But it was your home!"

Dimitri: It was a place I once lived. End of story."

Anya: "Well, then you must plan on making Paris your true home."

Dimitri: "What is it with you and homes?!"

Anya: "Well, for one thing, it's something that every normal person wants!"

This is not a belief system, nor is it a conclusion she's come to. It's something that is such a part of her make up as a human being, that to imagine that another person doesn't care about the concept of a "true home" or "true community" is downright disturbing to her. Her desire for "home, love, family" is not her trying to seek out individuals she already knows, but to find the space she came from, filled with strangers she's never met, but who she believes will accept her through the power of community. It reads very animated Hercules, often dreaming of a far off place where a voice keeps saying, THIS is where I'm meant to be. Badger Primaries love the idea of having a secret family they've never met that will swoop in and carry them away, loving them unconditionally, when the world immediately around them has been so cruel. Lonely Badger Primaries are the perfect characters to fall in love with the idea of being long lost royalty. The main character arc Anya goes through is learning that family is not just the people who gave birth to you: Found family is not only just as powerful, but can become even moreso over time. This is the same moral the animated Hercules learns! Belonging and community is created and watered like a garden: If you keep searching for your perfect, idealized community, you might miss the one forming right before your eyes.

LION SECONDARY

It doesn't take long to pin Anya as a rather loud Lion Secondary. She is unafraid to voice her opinions, and often does so in a blunt and unashamed way. SShe absolutely DESPISES lying, and she is the first to take the easiest, most straight forward way out.

Dimitri: (trying to detach a traincar after breaking multiple tools) "COME ON, there's gotta be something in there better than this!!"

Anya: (wordlessly hands Dimitri a stick of lit dynamite)

Dimitri: "That'll work!"

What this movie actual shows is an interesting, not as often explored aspect of the Badger Lion, which is how the brash and straightforward nature of the Lion Secondary can work against the desires of the Badger Primary. Anya longs for nothing more than home and community, but often inadvertently (and not so inadvertently) alienates those around her with her cutting phrasing. It takes a more grounded, good listener like Vlad to see past Anya's brashness almost immediately, understanding the intentions behind her bravado.

Vlad: "I see an engaging and fiery young woman, who on a number of occasions has shown a regal command equal to any royal in the world!"

DIMITRI

SNAKE PRIMARY (Initially Burnt)

Dimitri's storyline is a bit deeper than many people might initially realize. What we're looking at is a Snake Primary who, at a very young age, tried to save one of their People (the Princess Anastasia, for whom he is implied to have either a childhood friendship with or just a faraway crush,) and failed, horribly. In fact, they failed to the point that they believe they are at least partially to blame for the death of that Person. That's about as deep and dark of a hole as a Snake Primary can fall into, so the Snake Primary will, naturally, Burn and find new, non-Person things to fill that void. Namely, recognition and fortune.

Dimitri: "Imagine the reward her dear old grandmama will pay!"

Of course,this could point to Glory Hound Lion, just as easily. If not for his Snake Primary sneaking in at every possible moment. The line following that one above is:

Dimitri: "Who else could pull it off but you and me?"

The "you" in question being Vlad, the only other Person Dimitri has allowed in (and by "allowed in," I always assumed got so tired of Vlad actively FORCING HIMSELF into Dimitri's life that he acquiesced and decided to just let him stay.) But, Dimitri's obsession with the Princess Anastasia continues, against all odds. His latest con? Directly Princess Anastasia related. Is it enough for the woman they hire to play her be "good enough?" NO. She has to be PERFECT. They hold AUDITIONS, and Dimitri is the perfect person to be on the board, because Dimitri still knows her intimately well, even after all these years. Such as hum recognizing Anastasia's face in Anya's right from the start. Thus, comes Dimitri's initial inner turmoil in regards to Anya: Are his feelings just projection? Is he attracted to her JUST because she looks like Anastasia? Is he ACTUALLY that obsessed? All those questions become moot when Anya is revealed to truly be Anastasia, though Dimitri finds himself where he was as a boy. From this point on in the movie, pretty much every motivation/choice Dimitri makes revolves around the fact that Anya IS Anastasia, and that he is going to give her what she wants and deserves, no matter what it takes. Even if that means keeping himself away from her romantically. His character arc revolves around forgiving himself for what he perceived as a dire mistake against one of his People, which is a ROUGH arc for a Snake to go through.

Dimitri: "Paris holds the key to her past. Yes, Princess, I've found you at last! No more pretend. You'll be gone, that's the end..."

SNAKE SECONDARY

Dimitri is actually quite a good con, all things considered. He manages to trick Anya into thinking they have train tickets when they DEFINITELY do not, and he keeps the reward under wraps for the entirety of their trip. Not just that, but dodging around obstacles instead of facing them head on is his most natural state. As a child, he is seen sneaking out of the kitchens (where be belongs) and automatically offering the servants' quarters as a means of escape, which is extremely clever and resourceful. Dimitri tries to charm and placate Anya at every turn, trying to keep her naturally explosive personality under wraps.

Anya: "The baggage car...? There wouldn't be anything wrong with our papers now, would there, maestro..?"

Dimitri: "Of course not, Your Grace! It's just that I hate to see you forced to mingle with all those commoners..."

But, we spend most of the film seeing Dimitri forced out of his comfort zone by both the situation and Anya's combative Lion Secondary, so he's often seen conspiratorially complaining to Vlad while in his Neutral State or just outright losing his temper and yelling. But, this never comes first, and his plans and plots are always somewhat circumventing. During the train derailment, his plans are to jump off, disconnect the train cars, and just wait until the train coasts to a stop. All pretty passive/out of the box thinking. When he IS shown trying to face someone head on, he is always unsuccessful: Trying to fight for Anastasia during the siege only to be immediately knocked out, trying to take on Rasputin directly and being tossed aside pretty easily. Comparatively, Anya/Anastasia is shown to be successful when she is upfront and combative: Getting away from Rasputin as a child by kicking him in the face, ultimately defeating Rasputin by straight up smashing his reliquary.

VLAD

LION PRIMARY

Vlad is a pretty classic Paragon Lion Primary. He wants to do what is Good and Right and doesn't what is Bad and Wrong. For what reason would he wind up as a con artist as a Paragon Lion, though? Even for Paragon Lions, what is Good and Right to THEM can go against what the collective believes is good and right.

Vlad: "That's what I hate about this government. Everything is in red!"

Yes, the above line is also meant to be a coded message for Dimitri, but Vlad thinks the government has overstepped his moral boundaries and has chosen to step outside the usual bounds to follow his own morals. Part of those morals involve guiding those he believes are lost, thus, his "adoption" of Dimitri, a very lost young man with little direction. He tries to act as Dimitri's "moral compass" until Dimitri finds his own direction again. He does the same for Anya when she comes into their group, trying to lead her towards the possibility of finding her home, while gently guiding her away from focusing on her "past."

Vlad: "There is nothing left for you back there, my dear. Everything is in Paris."

He stands up for what he believes in, and inserts himself constantly when he believes Dimitri is wrong. Letting him know when he's "walking away too soon" or when he "has to talk to her" even if she's a Princess and Dimitri's a Kitchen Boy.

BADGER SECONDARY

Vlad is one of the kindest, most lovingly genuine characters I've encountered in fiction, and I mean with that with all my heart. He is consistently gentle and understanding with the people he comes across, and is always even-tempered and fair. Compare Vlad and Dimitri's reactions to finding Anya skulking around their home:

Dimitri: (shouting, from across the room) "HEY! What are you doing in here?! HEY! STOP!"

Vlad: (coming in at a light jog, holding up his hand politely) "Excuse me, child!"

Vlad always assumes the best from whomever he's interacting with, and is excellent at getting to the root of what's bothering a person. He actively tries to make everyone in his company comfortable, and will often make soft jokes or observations in an attempt to lighten the mood. His Lion Primary makes him unable to entirely give in when he knows what's going on is wrong, but his Badger Secondary gives him the skills to broach those uncomfortable topics with grace and eloquence.

Vlad: (gives Dimitri the most fatherly, loving hug in all of animation) "Ahhh, my boy... you are making a mistake."

TL;DR

Anya/Anastasia: Badger Lion

Dimitri: Double Snake

Vlad: Lion Badger

And, there we go! Anastasia was one of my absolute FAVORITE movies as a child, so I've really enjoyed getting an opportunity to sort them! Let me know your thoughts! :)

[sunnyhatchats]

automatic vs non-automatic secondary

[amai-no-ura]

I was sorted as lion primary a few times by people and the quiz, but I have such an irrational hate to that answer, it comes near to saying I hate myself and that part of me that makes everyone say that. Kind of a lion response probably. Maybe it's the way I thought the lion should work, and where it should lead me in the end, and that not working out, I'm not sure. There's a lot of other houses in me, and I could theoretically claim any and live there comfortably, but that wouldn't be the truth. I might stl be a lion, maybe not in the best shape even, and that thought would never abandon me. I have little hope that my reaction is fair and I'm not actually a lion, so is there anything you would think I could do to lessen this reaction and try to appreciate this primary? Sorry for this ramble, ignore this if needed. Thank you for your time.

There is the only way, from my experience.

Go out and live. Questioning this, obsessing over it won't give you any satisfaction. Go out and experience thing. Find a cause to fight for whether that's your ambition, your self-improvement, your dream job, your journey, whatever that is. Go out there, fall in love, get your heart broken, meet more people and befriend them. Get yourself out there and meet the hardship of life, the bitter sweet taste of failure and learn from it. From every moment of life.

There is no shortcut to any of these problems. The only way you can know yourself is by living a full life. And a full life isn't to live in a dank cellar pondering on question like this. It is to go out there and experience what life has to offer, good and bad. That's how you'll learn to know yourself and maybe love yourself.

There is no magic pill that will make you love yourself more or tell you who you are. Only your courage to live and learn from life will open the way for you.

@wisteria-lodge I can't think of other Lion Primary, do you have any advice for this anon?

[mysticalenthusiastvoid]

I'm trying to figure out one of my character's secondaries. They suggest going to a Waffle House because the reason is they're going to be assumed to be drunk or high during a conversation. I'm thinking Bird or possibly Snake.

[fromthemouthofkings]

Sorting Goncharov (1973)

Now I’ve only just seen the movie, so I’m not 100% on these sortings yet, and if any long-time fans want to chime in, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

As a reminder, primary refers to a character’s motivations, and secondary refers to a character’s methods.

This sorting system was based on the Hogwarts houses, but we do not support JK Rowling’s bigotry here.

Goncharov: double lion (burned primary)

The tragedy of Goncharov is all about identity--specifically, the loss of identity. It’s about Goncharov losing touch with his internal compass: the mirror motif highlights this disconnect and confusion as he loses his identity to the violence of the film. The movie actually does a really good job showing the process of a lion primary burning.

His secondary, however, stays intact. Goncharov is loud--explosive, even. Even as he loses his internal sense of self, he continues acting out directly, projecting his internal dilemma outwards in a vain attempt to “solve” it through the direct action of violence. He deals with problems by breaking through them, repeatedly. He literally does not stop, for the entire four-hour run time--it isn’t until his death that he is finally still.

Andrey: bird/lion (bird model)

This boy is constantly stuck in his own head, philosophizing, trying to rationalize his feelings about Goncharov. He’s a bird. He likes being a bird. Bird makes sense. The world around him--not so much. He clings to his bird primary SO hard, he has trouble seeing that the world doesn’t always match up to the world he has in his head. He can’t incorporate his feelings about Goncharov into his model of the world--can’t understand Goncharov’s true motivations. In the end, that’s why he’s so blindsided by the Goncharov betrayal.

Now, Andrey’s bird primary is so loud that it’s tempting to put him in bird secondary, too. But for all his talk of books and philosophers, how do we actually see him solve his problems, when all the cards are down? He acts suddenly and decisively, stepping away from his book-learning and doubt, and steps into himself like he’s shedding a heavy, ill-fitting suit. I could see bird model for him, though.

Katya: snake/bird

Torn between her loyalty to Goncharov, her love for Sofia, and her own ambitions, Katya is a loud snake primary. She loves Goncharov, but she feels burdened by him and trapped in the life that they’ve agreed to live together. Throughout the film, her frustration with how trapped she feels in her own life brings her to Sofia, and she’s tempted to run off and join Sofiya’s whirl-wind of a life for the taste of freedom that Sofia gives her. However, her decision in the end to betray them both ultimately speaks to her decision to value herself over either of her (canon and implied) love interests.

As far as secondaries go, Katya is careful. She doesn’t run willy-nilly into things. She gathers her resources quietly. She makes plans. Unlike Andrey’s spur-of-the-moment betrayal, when she leaves Goncharov, it is the culmination of a whole film’s worth of quiet planning, all falling into place. The biggest tip-off, for me, is the gun. If you’re watching carefully, you can see that the gun she takes from Goncharov and slips into her purse during the night club scene is the same gun she uses in her final scene, much later.

Sofia: double snake

The last part of the Gonchandreysofitya love quadrangle/polycule, Sofia is a double snake: healthily selfish, sneaky, unrepentant, and driven so hard by her love of Katya. Katya is really her one blind spot.

Growing up in the orphanage, Sofia learned early to trick and steal and con for a living, and she seems entirely content to live like that, taking pride in her abilities as a con woman and a thief. It’s only for Katya that we see her let down her masks and show off her true, neutral, jaded self underneath all of her other layers.

[shadow-academic]

Sorting Jesus Christ Superstar

Happy Easter, everybody! It’s been way too long since I did one of these, but I’ve got my favorite piece of Easter media on the brain (and on the phonograph). So! Let’s Sort Jesus Christ Superstar!

A more detailed break-down of the system I’m using is right here, but the basics are these:

PRIMARY (ie MOTIVE)

BADGER ~ Loyal to the group.

SNAKE ~ Loyal to yourself and your Important People.

LION ~ Subconscious Idealist. Ideals are linked to feelings and instincts.

BIRD ~ Conscious Idealist. Ideals are linked to built systems and external facts.

SECONDARY (ie METHOD)

BADGER ~ Connect with the group. Make allies, work steadily and well. Be whatever the situation calls for. If you find a locked door, knock.

SNAKE ~ Connect with the environment. Notice things. Tell people what they want to hear. If you find a locked door, get in through the window.

BIRD ~ Collect skills, knowledge, personas, useful friends. If you find a locked door, track down the key or try to pick the lock.

LION ~ Be honest, be direct, speak your truth. Either the obstacle is going down or you are. If you find a locked door, kick it in.

Jesus Christ is very definitely a Lion secondary. He knows What Must Be Done, and he knows that What Must Be Done requires him to die, and he unflinchingly and unwaveringly keeps moving toward that end goal despite the Apostles trying to defend him and Pilate (this musical's resident Snake secondary) desperately trying to find an alternative solution, any alternative solution, that won't require Jesus to die.

For his Primary, I was leaning Lion up until we reached "Trial Before Pilate" (my favorite number in the whole musical, by the way). During his debate with Pilate, Jesus says "I search for Truth, and find that I get damned!", and that is not only a very Bird sentiment, but it's a Bird who's burning.

Judas Iscariot, by contrast, is a Bird secondary. He's Jesus's tactician, his planner. To quote "Superstar" (the number you're most likely to have heard): "Every time I look at you, I don't understand Why you let the things you did get so out of hand You'd've managed better if you'd had this planned"

Judas's primary is trickier. I'm certain it's not Snake, because even though Jesus is his best friend, he still sells Jesus out when he thinks it's necessary for the greater good. His primary is either Badger, because his main focus is on the health and safety of the community, or he's a Bird whose Truth just happens to look very Badgery. I think he's actually another Bird primary whose system is modeled strongly after Jesus's own very Badger-looking early ministry, but Jesus has that direct-line connection to God which gives him additional context for his mission of dying for the sins of the people and all that. Judas lacks this context and is growing away from Jesus because he thinks Jesus is losing his way. That growing disconnect ends up with both of them burning their primaries at least somewhat.

I think Judas also had to build a Snake secondary model as a survival tactic against the Roman occupation, and it's this model that he's drawing on when he turns Jesus in, but you can tell it's not his real secondary because it really doesn't sit well with him, even as he's doing it.

Pontius Pilate is this musical's resident Snake secondary. Caiaphas wants Jesus to die for the good of the community, Jesus wants to die because of prophecy stuff, but it's in Pilate's hands and Pilate really doesn't want to kill this guy, so he spends his whole big number trying to find an alternative, any alternative, ultimately only giving up in the face of Jesus's uncooperative and unwavering Lion secondary.

I think he's a Lion primary; he doesn't want to kill Jesus because it really feels wrong to him, but at the same time he really doesn't seem like a "for the people" Badger primary.

Mary Magdalene has a very nurturing Badger secondary for sure. I'm inclined to sort her as a Snake/Badger, if only because it's the Lover sorting; where Jesus and Judas are arguing over how best to care for their flock as a whole, Mary Magdalene is the only one who's specifically looking after Jesus the person, where everyone else is looking to Jesus as a leader, messiah, whatever.

Caiaphas, the nearest thing this musical has to a real antagonist, is definitely a Bird secondary; his primary is trickier for the same reason that Judas's was. His goal is to prevent the genocide of the Jews by not provoking the Romans, but the question is, is he a Badger looking out for his community, or some flavor of Idealist looking out for the bigger picture of the Jewish nation? It's tricky. Only thing I'm sure he's not is a Snake primary, because he definitely does have that bigger-picture focus.

Simon Zealotes only gets one number, but he’s a fairly straightforward (and dumb) Revolutionary Double Lion.

Peter and Herod aren’t there for long enough to really get a handle on, but in summary:

Jesus Christ, Bird/Lion (burned primary) Judas Iscariot, Double Bird (Badger Truth, burning primary, Snake secondary model Pontius Pilate, Lion/Snake Mary Magdalene, Snake/Badger Caiaphas, Badger/Bird Simon Zealotes, Double Lion

[reading-sometimes]

Wreck-it-Ralph Sorting

A basic overview of the SHC system by @wisteria-lodge is here.

Ralph - Badger Lion

The first thing that we see Ralph do in the movie is going to a Bad-Anon meeting. His driving motivation for getting the medal is not because of the medal itself, but for everything that the medal will get him - acceptance from all of the other characters in his game. I did consider Snake primary for Ralph, since his friendship with Venellope and the characters in his game seems to be enough for him, but he's so focused on groups that I settled on Badger.

As for Ralph's secondary, he gets stuff done. He needs a medal? He deliberates about the specifics with Tapper for a bit, and then he climbs a building and goes Turbo to get it, risking his own death. He does have a Snake secondary model that he uses for other things, like taking Markowski's clothes to sneak into Hero's Duty and lying to Venellope about the tree-trimming service when they first meet. He also lies to Felix about how he didn't know that there was a party, and it's worth mentioning that Venellope calls him a liar, but it's not his primary way of doing stuff.

Venellope - Double Lion

Venellope was by far the easiest character to sort for me. I mean, "I know I'm a racer. I can feel it in my code." might be the most Lion primary sentences ever written. Even though everyone else tells her that she's just a glitch, she knows she's a racer. I mean, the first thing that she does when she first meets Ralph is race him for the medal. 

And Venellope's secondary? She's a loud Lion secondary. She knows what she wants, and she's not going to back down from it no matter what. She wants to win the race, even if it's on her own. 

Felix - Double Badger

Like Ralph, Felix is fixated on groups. He wants to include Ralph at the party, even if it's uncomfortable for both him and the other characters in his game, and he tries very hard to keep the peace. 

As for his Secondary, Felix primarily seeks out other people. He finds Calhoun when Ralph's gone Turbo, and coerces her to help him. When he gets to Sugar Rush, the first thing that he does is seek out Sour Bill. I considered an 'I-know-a-guy' Bird, but Felix doesn't collect anything else like how most Bird secondaries do. When he's locked in a dungeon, the first thing that he does is call for help. I think that a Bird Secondary would at least try to look around first. 

Calhoun - Badger Lion

She was hard to sort for me, because she's very stereotypical? I mean, she likes groups and bossing people around, so I could say that she's an Authoritarian Badger? Maybe a Snake, since she cares about Felix and her troops? She definitely doesn't like selfish people, judging by her saying that the selfish man is like a mangy dog. I'm going to cautiously say Badger, because when a Cy-bug escapes her game, she goes after it so that the other games don't have to deal with it. Snakes can do that too, obviously, but it wasn't even a question for her.

When Felix enters the game, she first thing that she does is try to shoot at him. I don't think that someone can really get more Lion secondary than that. She's very direct, and gets things done.

[mooglesorts]

i have not been active on this blog in a While and being very normal about my old hyperfixation lorien legacies, which has an absolute fuckload of characters to sort, has finally gotten me to crawl out of my hole.

[spoilers ahead for both lorien legacies and its sequel series!]

there is a LOT of ground to cover here, and i am mostly going to limit myself to sorting characters and themes from the first series, but my initial notes are:

probably one of the biggest overarching themes of the series is toxic birdsec, and the harm it can do to every aspect of a society or a person's life--on both a systematic level and an individual one--right down to their basic humanity. by extension it also goes into similarly fucked up lion and bird primary used as weapons and tools of abuse, and how they interplay with each other.

a large part of this stems from setrákus ra being The Worst Fucking Lion Bird Ever to Live, lmao. he's an interesting example of birdsec interplaying with cannibal badger, and also of a lion bird who's a cheetah in that he uses systems as tools to manipulate people instead of actually believing them. he hands out toxic systems like candy while peppering them with outright lies, and blithely admits that even the one that he's put centuries into building--mogadorian progress, and the great book--is at its heart just a ruse to run his cult on. the truth he pretends to worship and champion isn't external, objective truth--it's an extension of him. he is the ultimate truth. and the only truth he believes in is his cause, which is that he has the right and ability to own, make use of, and do whatever he sees fit with everything in existence. everyone and everything that could possibly be a shiny or a tool belongs to him.

one of the other overarching themes is toxic badger primary and secondary--cannibal badgering AHOY--as well as toxic lion primary, and it is a great deal less intentional than the bird cautionary tale part lmao

five is a bird snake with deeply toxic lion primary and bird secondary models, one of which he picked up after getting involved with a cult, and one of which he's had since his abusive birdsec guardian started amputating his masks by trying to apply actor bird to them. :') his brand of birdsplode and snakeburn make him horribly, horribly vulnerable to the cult, especially combined with focused, one-on-one gaslighting and manipulation from setrákus himself, and he has to burn his bird right to a crisp to break away from it. i am very biased and i have so much to say about my boy, but i plan to go in depth about this later

there are a LOT of lionsecs among the loric garde kids. the only surviving ones who aren't lionsecs are marina's badger and five's snake (the latter of which is heavily villainized, lol); number one is either a lionsec or a snakesec, maggie is either a birdsec or a badgersec, and we don't really see enough of hannu to be sure, but my guess is badgersec. in context, whatever these books are saying here i am not sure i like it lmao

this stands in contrast to the non-garde allies, minus adam, who end up being Part of the Gang. sam and lexa are birdsecs, and sarah and malcolm are both badgersecs.

speaking of adam, he is a lion snake with a cool, calculated double bird performance/model, who has been waiting all his life for a chance to go Absolutely Feral. there are a lot of ways in which he's a real shithead, which track given his life and circumstances up to then but are also real 😬 sometimes, but like, good for him. go ape shitt, kid

nine is an awful, AWFUL double lion who models/performs the worst parts of badger primary; he also uses lionsec stereotypes and methods to misdirect people, so that he can hurt, gaslight, prey on, and abuse them. it's genuinely interesting how he does it, and i could go on for a long time about it, but it's also Infuriating because the authors really want you to love him for being a ~charming jerk with a heart of gold,~ so that is for another post. in the sequel series he also picks up a nasty posthumous birdsec model from sandor to gleefully torture children with so lmfao

there seem to be a lot of birdsecs and badgersecs among the mentor cêpans, which tracks, because, well, mentors. interestingly, it seems to be a pattern so far that the birdsec mentors are either some of the most deeply abusive among them (see: rey, sandor, and ethan even though he's an unofficial cêpan), or the most decent parents of them under the circumstances (see: katarina).

john is a hognose (badgery snake) 'i live here' snake lion, and a VERY loud one. he's set on saving the world mainly a) in order to save his People, or b) because it's what they would want. he also believes STRONGLY in snake values as applied to other people, and absolutely cannot grok that anyone would feel differently--he holds back on killing a major enemy because he's worried about killing a friendly acquaintance's Person--and honestly he can be kind of a huge dick about it lmao. he burns HARD at the end of the first series when sarah dies; in the second, he copes by making an entire community into his circle and no longer gives a shit about the rest of the world outside it, including groups who are in similar if not worse circumstances than his community. Horrific War Crimes Ensue!

rex is an everyone double badger and i love him so much. i love him So Much. he is a wonderful example of how to write a morally dubious character whose dodgy qualities interest me instead of making me grit my teeth and Tolerate Them. his arc could have fixed So Much of the Ending's Bullshit and i will be forever mad that they dumped it in the trash

there is more, oh my god there's so much more, this series has SO many characters in it, but this is a start thank you for coming to my ted talk

[the-phoenix-heart]

Sorting Hat Chats - Titanic (1997)

I watched Titanic twice in two days and this is the result of that. I finally remembered that I make these types of posts.

Here is a summary of the system I am using (credit: @wisteria-lodge ) and because it has been a long time let the record show: Fuck JKR, I do not support her view at all.

The movie is ROSE'S story, not actually Rose and Jack's story. The thing with it is while Jack is integral to the plot, what matters is that he exists and he saved her. He doesn't go through an arc. This is Rose's story, and it is of her self actualization.

Rose says she knows exactly how her life is going to play out, and we can see she hates it. Even before she has met Jack she is subtly rebelling against her mother and Cal. She hates the bird primary model she wears, the one that has all the rules that define her life.

The real Rose, the one that isn't stifled under the weight of high society, is a Lion primary. When she is herself she smokes, drinks more than Jack, competes with the big strong Swedish man, flips off Cal's valet, and is extremely horny.

She is a lion primary. She wishes to do what she feels is right. On the Titanic her 'cause' is "say fuck you to high society and abscond with my manic pixie dream Leonardo DiCaprio." Then after the iceberg hits it becomes "save Jack at all costs and also other people I come across." Jack getting arrested for stealing the diamond is because she felt an obligation to tell her mother and Cal about the iceberg.

When she is telling Jack why she came back to save him, asking how she figured he didn't steal, she says "I didn't. I just realized I already knew."

As for her secondary, we are introduced to her as she is doing pottery. Then we are introduced to her a second time with her comparing the Titanic to the Mauritania. Rose Dewitt Bukater is a Bird secondary.

Rose knows things. We see her as an old woman and see she travels with her pictures that she has collected. Young Rose collects paintings that she likes and clearly has a taste for fine art. She insults Ismay by bringing up Freud. She knows everything about the people in high society around her, though she clearly doesn't like them. She has jack teaching her things. She knows what ice fishing and did ballet. She becomes an actress. And she knows how every interaction will go when it comes to High Society, as well as different languages.

I debated her being a Lion secondary because in the third act she looks like one, wielding an axe and jumping off boats and pushing people up against walls saying she is through with being polite. But I think in a disaster scenario anyone will look like Lion secondary. Plus, when she is half frozen to death she gets the attention of the boat by taking the whistle of the man she had seen blowing it before. An observation paying off.

JACK DAWSON was an interesting case to sort. I don't know if this is a hot take, but I think Jack is a Badger primary. Jack cares about people. Within two days of being on the ship he already knows the name of a random little girl on the ship (Cora) and calls her his favorite girl. He learns people's names quickly is incredibly affable with them. The way he talks about the one legged prostitute or the woman who wore all her jewels, he remembered them. He's barely been in his cabin with the Swedish guys for one minute and he's already treating them like his best friends.

I think it really is summed up with the scene on Titanic as it departs.

Jack, waving to the people: "Goodbye!" Fabrizio: "You know somebody?" Jack: "Of course not, that's not the point!"

Fabrizio joins in on saying goodbye after Jack. For Jack saying goodbye was either because he was saying goodbye to England, or because everybody was waving goodbye and he wanted to join in on the activity.

I think it's also clear when he saves Rose. He has only seen this girl once from a distance, but when he sees her about to throw herself off the ship he is immediately ready to save her. He's too involved now.

But he doesn't have to jump in and rescue her. Because he talks her out of it. He tells her about an experience he had falling into cold water, and clearly makes it seem like he's ready to jump in after her. He's already taking his coat and shoes off to jump in. His strategy seems to be, "if I can't convince her to save herself I can convince her to save me."

I think he's a Snake secondary. He immediately blends into high society by mimicking the mannerisms of the people around him and by playing himself so incredibly confident in his meager origins that they are charmed by him. There's also the seen wear he disguises himself so he can get a chance to talk to Rose. He also is clearly at home playing poker and has a good poker face.

He almost comes off as a Bird secondary because he knows so much stuff, but he makes it clear that he doesn't have a plan, he kinda just goes wear he goes living day to day. So I think that his grab bag of skills is literally just things he has picked up from day to day life.

I think the Badger Snake sorting works as shorthand for telling you what you need to know about him. He's sexy and fun because he's a Snake secondary, but also worldly and kind because he's a Badger primary.

And last but least I want to talk about is CALEDON HOCKLEY. Because even though he is a very simple character I also think he's a very interesting one. Because Caledon Hockley is destroyed by love. Or obsession. Or possession. It's hard to tell with him. They could have played him as just the greedy asshole in it for money, but he's not just that. He also appears to genuinely loves Rose, he just happens to be an absolute fucking asshole! He seeks to control every aspect of her life, because he loves her and is obsessed with her and wants to possess her, even when she is constantly rebelling against him.

Even after he has slapped her and she has told him she would rather be Jack's whore than Cal's wife he has his valet trying to find her and tries to make sure that she gets on a lifeboat. He even lies and says he'll get Jack on a lifeboat as well so long as Rose gets on one. And EVEN AFTER he tries to kill her for running off with Jack he goes looking for her after they are on the Carpathia. He might've been looking to get the diamond but with how melancholic he looks it seems more like he wanted to see she was alive. I think part of that is Billy Zane.

He says it himself, "There's nothing I'd deny you, if you would not deny me."

(Cal should take notes from the Goblin King's speech to Sarah in Labyrinth)

So he is an exploded Snake primary. As for his secondary, it would be easy to say Lion secondary. He is very violent, shooting at Rose and Jack (which he is very bad at), breaking things, and slapping Rose around. But that's when he's pissed. Throughout the movie the way he does things is much more subtle. He takes out Rose's cigarette and orders her food for her. He turns off the music box she was listening to. He pretends he has been robbed so he can from Jack for it. He gets his valet to do most of his dirty work and he bribes people with things. When his bribery has failed and he's separated from his valet he doesn't go in with punching people, he grabs the screaming Irish girl he saw earlier and says he has a child and has to be let on. He's a badger secondary. A dark one, but a badger.

So...

Rose Dewitt Bukater - Lion primary, Bird primary model that defines her life that she hates/Bird secondary

Jack Dawson - Badger primary/Snake secondary

Caledon Hockley - Exploded Snake primary/Badger secondary

[arizonaraine]

Sorting Hat Chats: Heroes of Olympus

I did not write this, this is an original from @sortinghatchats. I found it on the wayback machine like two years ago and have had it saved in my notes. So this is my contribution to y'all's recovery efforts! Not sure whether to give credit to Inky or Kaden, let me know :)

OK, so I sometimes give speeches on long road trips about the Slytherinness of Percy Jackson. THAT KID. His fatal flaw is canonically that, forced to choose between the world and his friends, he would choose his friends. Slytherin Primary, all the way. Kid’s almost running around waving a banner with his hair dyed silver and green. 

He’s also a Slytherin Secondary. Yeah, I know, the kid’s loud and coarse and a bit of a bro (he is. I love him, but he is). But Percy thinks rapidly on his feet, adapts to dangers by snapping up whatever weapon (physical, godly, mental, emotional) is nearest at hand, and is shamelessly, easily comfortable with using others for his own gain. 

When the chips are down, the only thing he cares about are his inner circle: Annabeth, his mom, and sometimes Grover and Tyson. He’s content to use and sometimes destroy useful bystanders like Nico and “Bob,” to keep his people safe. He may like Nico and Bob, even empathize if someone like Annabeth isn’t in immediate danger, but at the end of the day he would (and does) trade their happinesses and safety for their utility. 

But Percy doesn’t look like a traditional Slytherin/Slytherin. The boy is not smooth. The kid is not slipping around corners and cleverly avoid ruffling feathers while he steals his victories out from other peoples’ pockets. Percy lives almost always in his neutral state— this is something we talk about more deeply in our Slytherin Secondary post. But the neutral state is when a Slytherin isn’t using the code-switching and ease that is inherent to this secondary. Most Slytherin Secondaries only do this at home, when they are safe, relaxed, and in the company of only their most trusted people. It is literally dropping your guard. And Percy leaves his emotional guard hanging pretty much all the time; he’s bluntly and rather uncouthly on his sleeve. But the moment physical danger sets in, he goes full torpedoes ahead with a guile that is rough-edged but certainly present. 

I’ll sort the rest of the Seven, Nico, and Reyna under the cut, hopefully with a little less verbiage. Slight spoilers forBlood of Olympus, but I did try to be a vague as possible. 

Annabeth, my brash, bright, idealist darling, whose greatest desire is to rebuild a broken world anew, and whose fatal flaw is hubris and pride, is a Ravenclaw Primary. She is right, certain, and willing to sacrifice herself for the things she values. Clever, studious, prepared, she’s also a Ravenclaw Secondary. 

Piper literally has the Slytherin Secondary as a superpower. Now, her charmspeak wouldn’t actually have any effect on her actual Secondary (your skills don’t matter as much as the methods you want, or respect in tactics). But Piper uses her charmspeak like her lungs by the end of the series, and even in flashbacks we find her conning people into giving her cars.

She House shares with Percy, actually: Slytherin/Slytherin, though she has a Hufflepuff Performance where Percy just… doesn’t… bother. Piper’s Slytherin Primary is most apparent in her dedication to her friends, and her decision over the course of The Lost Hero to sacrifice even them to save her father (a decision I’m not sure she’d make by the end of the series, when she’d bonded further to them). 

Jason is a Hufflepuff Primary raised in a world of Gryffindors—so, yeah, the kid looks really Gryffindor. But he learns to shuffle off the righteousness and rigidity of Roman life, and to embrace his own quieter service, empathy, and thoughtfulness for not only his crew, friends, and two camps, but also each of the forgotten gods. He’s at his most comfortable with a community to call his own that doesn’t demand his Heroism, and cause to dedicate his life to that involves serving and supporting people, not fighting for or leading them. 

His Secondary is Gryffindor—he earnestly and honestly charges his problems (his straight forward attempts to reassure Nico during the Cupid thing; the honesty and integrity Piper appreciates in him). Because his internal drive and motivations aren’t Gryffindor, he doesn’t look that obvious— his goals are often things like keeping the peace aboard ship, making sure everyone else has the things they need, and getting knocked out during fights. 

Leo reads a bit like a Slytherin, but i think he’s just a burned Puff Primary. Clearly a loyalist House, he’s guarded and sarcastic, bitter and a bit jaded, and doesn’t throw himself out with sacrifice and service the way Puffs like Jason might. He builds little communities, and big dragons. But while he likes Piper and Jason, or Hazel, his bonds aren’t anywhere near the intensity of true Slytherin Primaries like Piper or Percy. This suggests what he actually is is a burned Puff, a Hufflepuff Primary who’s been hurt enough that they keep their warmth close. When Leo does make decisions around people, it tends to be need-based rather than value-based— he’ll give up some of the people he loves because someone else who he loves, someone lonely and left *cough*, needs him more. 

Ravenclaw Secondary for the kid, of course. Leo Valdez, my tiny engineer friend, you tinker on. 

Hazel’s got a lot of layered-on traumas, losses, guilts, and misplacements that make her a little hard to sort*— her curse, her first death and her almost bringing Gaea’s apocalypse about early, her rebirth in a century not her own. But as she becomes more comfortable and confident throughout the second series, she begins to fall into a validating system of action, justice, and bravery. Her morality seems to be felt, and she is most at home with her weapon in hand, on Arion’s back, charging a clear foe with a clear conscience—she read, to me, like a Gryffindor who has stubbornly pulled herself out of a “stripped” state, with the help of some big hearts like Frank and Jason. 

(*Note: traumas do not make you less of your own House, or even less obvious of a House, exactly. What I mean here is that it’s harder to Sort someone burned as much as Hazel has been from the outside. Hazel’s got so much jammed inside of her, and even her POV is secretive enough in the first book, that she’s not obvious until she relaxes and confides in the reader a little more). 

Frank, dear Frank, with his willingness to burn himself out (literally) on Alaska’s icy plain, is a warm and solid Gryffindor Primary. That wasn’t about who needed him or who he loved; it was about right and wrong, and he was going to do right or die trying. A kind and worried rule follower, he seems to have Hufflepuff Secondary he feels like he should suppress. The Roman Legion is very much a Gryffindor-present-or-go-home kind of space— both Frank and Jason put on Gryffindor Models to fit in and feel at home. But where Jason is secretly a warm ball of Hufflepuff Primary, Frank actually is a Gryffindor Primary. The problem is, he doesn’t think his Gryffindor, his honestly strong and staunch sense of right and noble sacrifice, is good enough. So he models a more “brave” Gryffindor on top. Frank’s ascension to praetor, as Jason gives it up, was a beautiful step in both their journeys. 

Reyna’s Hufflepuff Secondary manifests itself in her dedication to doing things right, her (if stiff) kindness, her strength-sharing powers, and the care and emotion that earn her Pegasus’s honor. It’s her Gryffindor Primary, however, that earns her Athena’s respect—her refusal to stand down and her dedication. 

Nico di Angelo is a stunning Hufflepuff Primary. He loses his time, his world, his sister, any sense of safety at the camps of in his “friends,” any sense of home but perhaps a squat beside the River Styx— and when the world needs him, Nico doesn’t even think twice before running himself ragged trying to shut the doors of Death and defy Gaea. He’s not even part of the prophecy. He’s not liked, respected, or even wanted by almost anyone. But he shows up. He does what he can. He disappears without any expectation of respect, gratitude, or care. Thank goodness for people like Hazel, Frank, Jason, and Will. 

Nico’s not even quite a burned Puff. He doesn’t build himself a community (except for arguably Hazel), but he still takes it on himself to save and serve the world. 

It’s his secondary, more than his primary I think, that takes the brunt of his losses. He might have been a very young Ravenclaw secondary (cards! stats!) in his first appearance, and no matter how “dark” demigod he might be, the boy’s no Slytherin Secondary, but what his secondary actually is is rather unclear. He’s been beaten, stripped, and disillusioned. No tools feel comfortable in his hands. He’ll do whatever he has to do get the job done, and he doesn’t like any of it. The blossoming way he responds to Reyna and Hedge’s companionship, mutual respect, and affection however suggests he might be growing into a Hufflepuff Secondary once he finds a place or hearts safe enough to lay down roots. 

(I hope so. Kid needs a break). 

tl;dr

Percy and Piper are both Slytherin/Slytherins– deeply, sometimes destructively loyal, and masters of thinking quick and sideways on their feet. 

Annabeth is the sole Ravenclaw Primary. She shares a Ravenclaw Secondary with Leo, who’s a burned Puff. 

Frank, Reyna and Hazel are all Gryffindor Primaries, with Jason the odd Hufflepuff out. Frank and Reyna have Puff secondaries they try to cover up with Gryffindor models (hello Rome), while Hazel and Jason both have Gryffindor’s charging Secondary. They’re both most at ease facing their problems head on and with honest integrity. 

Nico is a Hufflepuff, burned in terms of letting himself have nice things, but not burned in terms of feeling like he needs to save the world, even if it keeps spitting on him. 

[sortinghatchats]

I love numbers! Drop your Primary sorting in the poll below.

Not familiar with sortinghatchats? Primary = your WHY. Secondary = your HOW. Take the quiz below— it will walk you through the system, guess your sorting (primary & secondary), and let you argue with it til you find one that sounds right!

(I’ll make another poll for secondaries)

[ten-of-imps]

Sorting Hat Chats - A Psalm for a Wild Build

Check out @sortinghatchats and @wisteria-lodge for explanation of the system I will use in this post.

Monk/ Dex - itching for the sound of crickets is the catalysis for leaving the monastery and hitting the road. The change was emotional, and from outside it looked like it happened suddenly, but it was gradually in the making, just behind closed doors. I would sort sibling Dex as a Lion primary, and a bit burnt one. When times get uncomfortable, Dex’s emotions sweep them over and they wonder about going back. Maybe it is not the burning but a Bird primary model, making them question how smart, logical and practical they were. I think it is both. That nagging voice in Dex’s mind, telling them they need to do something bigger and important shows us the big Lion action just before the end of the book - the monk quickly picks themselves up when they find out there is no road anymore, packs a bag and goes into the wild, at this point being led by something invisible and wordless more than the need to hear the crickets. And they burn a lot after reaching the hermitage.

Dex is not a badger primary. He feels no guilt avoiding the village where their family lives, and later we get to know how much their father was important in them becoming a monk, but they do not feel obliged to stay in the community they felt safe in, neither to go back to their family while being a traveling monk. Also, the way they did their duty feels anything but badgery. Sure, people are important, and helping them is nice, and people and communities need them, but Dex feels no security and need in community bonding, building, and leaving is easy, and any bad feeling about missing tea appointments are quickly forgotten.

Speaking of their vocation, Dex’s secondary fits somewhere between lion and badger, and my heart that likes to lean on later. The way they tackle their new job, as self teaching, making a tea stand with no real fitting materials and not much knowledge was improvisational. And it does not work. They needed time and effort to get it going, and for two years this work and helping people was enough to keep their head from doubting the meaning of their life. Still, you could swing it the other way and say they are a lion secondary, because even if lions are and like to be improvisational, not everything works out on their first try and a lot of things need more work and investment, and no human being can avoid it. Not to mention getting a backpack and choosing to stroll from the woods seems quick, bold, and in theme with “this is me, deal with it or move. I will brake before I will bend”. I would say we did not saw enough to define Dex’s secondary, but we can guess and choose for ourselves what we want to see in the empty space in the mean time. My heart leans badger, but my mind stays with lion - they come and say they are changing their vocation, nothing to indicate that before from outside, no warning. For Dex, this was their warning.

Splendid Speckled Mosscap is an idealist, but I feel it would be too easy to sort them as bird primary. Mosscap have their morality all mapped out, built or felt, and they are there to get to know humans, but plot wise they are there for Dex and their emotional breakdown to be a moral and philosophical voice. We hear their opinions and thoughts, but have no idea how they came to it, apart from them mentioning robots functioning according to nature based circles, teaching Dex the definition of remnants being maybe a bit of a built idea. It is not enough for me to comfortable call them bird primary, and a bit uninspiring for the world that sees mechanical beings as sentient.

...........

Dex - Slightly burnt Lion primary (Bird Model)/ Lion secondary

Mosscap - idealist primary, not enough information to tell anything real, and especially not their secondary

[iorekbyrinson]

Bug Sorts: House MD

HOUSE MD: the Fallacy of Loyalism

Gregory House: House strikes me before his accident as a Bird secondary, the ghost of which haunts him. He met his ex-girlfriend at a paintball match - he played golf - he's a multi-talented musician, speaks half a dozen languages, and cannot stop himself collecting people, too, despite the deep wound where his Secondary used to be. He has an encyclopaedic knowledge of past cases and obscure details that is the true strength of his ability, as he mostly uses his Snake secondary model defensively - to lash out, to hurt, to throw people away. And it bridges the gaps in his own Secondary, although it also by necessity requires input, so House collects a little team, keeps them at arm's length, and farms input from them to inspire his broken database of knowledge. The credo of the Snake secondary is interpersonal skill; even the most Snake-sec trickster knows the value of honey over vinegar. It's an integral part of the secondary - and wholly missing from House's model. So, Snake secondary model, but not one used to connect.

House concocts a bitter Snake secondary over his charred Secondary - helpfully, he has James Wilson, who practically lives in his Snake secondary, to model off. It gives House comfort and connection to Secondary-share with Wilson. It stops him feeling useless and unable. And Wilson softballs his Secondary for House, so House can still hate being manipulated, but still feel clever and able when he engages with Wilson. He still feels power in situations he is prepared to interact with. It's a Band-Aid, but one that is extremely itchy and yet compels House to keep it on so he doesn't have to lift the bandage and see the damage underneath.

If you want to see a great example of this, watch the scene with the magician. The magician pulls a harmless, flashy trick on him, a sleight of hand - a Snake trick, if there ever was one. And House gets Pissed. The episode headline "explores the essence of magic - whether it's better to know how the trick was done…House wants to know HOW the tricks were done….someone knows the answer, but not House, and he can't use his SKILLS to figure them out." This is a Snake secondary's paradise - the sleight of hand is enough! But House is angry, frustrated, to the point where he threatens the guy with injury unless he tells him. It's a demonstration to him that he isn't the adaptable Secondary he finds comfort in. He's the guy that needs to know the tools, the workings, the construction - to the point where he attaches a moral value to KNOWING, rather than ADAPTING.

House, sadly, also has a Bird primary that is in extremely bad health. Seen from the viewpoint of its main character, the world of House MD is a warped reflection of the shattered, self-referencing viewpoint of its protagonist. Like how Exploded Bird Mulder's conspiracies are actively validated by in-world conspiracies of the X-Files, House's misanthropic views of people are supported by the world around him. Every sobbing spouse tending to their sick partner IS secretly cheating on them, every strikingly beautiful woman in House's vicinity IS actually deluded to their own emotions (and yet, still want to jump House's bones), all the authority figures who don't tolerate House's bad behaviour DO have corrupt or immoral agendas. Like hospital administrator Cuddy's constant ministering to House's flaws, the world around him also panders to his rules. Essentially, Loyalism is a lie, with Snake and Badger primaries in the show painted as either hopelessly naive or doomed to failure. Step in James Wilson, a crutch in every way - House intuits the shared values Wilson has coded into his very Snake-flavoured Gryff primary (like House, an Idealist that is notoriously bad at Loyalism, which has taken chunks out of his Primary over time), and eventually crafts a Snake primary model to live on off of it to prevent himself being sucked into the vortex of his Bird, as some miserable version of the "delusions" the rest of the world live in when they choose personal relationships over the search for some "truth" (idk if you can tell, but I don't vibe with any of the quote on quote "truth seeking" going on in House MD, when the odds are so blatantly biased against Loyalists).

James Wilson: Others have been far more eloquent in explaining how Lion Snakes can look like Snake primaries, and not actually BE Snake primaries, but I'll try my best here. He's not a Snake primary. He's the one House points to as a moral bastion, predicting Wilson's behaviour based on whether Wilson sees something as good or bad. If Wilson sees it as good, he feels morally obliged to do it. House can literally trick him into coming over to babysit Cuddy's kid and try to leave, because he KNOWS Wilson will stick around - Wilson often uses his Snake secondary to manoeuvre himself out of the moral quandaries of House's ploys, and into territory where he is absolutely, definitely on the side of good/bad Wilson has drawn in himself. And if Wilson sees something as bad - he will scheme his absolute damndest to make sure he, or anyone else, doesn't drift into that territory. Luckily for House, what Wilson defines as bad is "anything that will go against what he thinks House/people around House should be doing". He will lie, betray confidences, and manipulate everyone including House himself to that end. It's what makes him feel good. And as for the anti-Loyalist argument - Wilson has sacrificed THREE marriages (in which he was not faithful) on the altar of "being there for House". This is his Cause. It's so effective that nearly everyone thinks Wilson has a Snake primary - and yet, he enables House. He continues enabling an addict, and when those consequences come to roost (Amber's death), he disappears for six months, and cuts House loose ("we were never friends".). That's not a Snake painfully and excrutiatingly cutting a Person off - it's a Lion giving up on their Cause. And, eventually, because Wilson's addiction is being the moral arbiter to House, the two reconcile.

As for the rest of the team, I'm going to do short Sortings of the rest;

Lisa Cuddy - Badger secondary. Cuddy curries favours, taps people, puts pressure on folks, care-takes (even when she shouldn't), mediates, makes sure every professional relationship in the hospital is catered for and kept on top of (she only appears in the Ducklings' lives when they are considering career changes). As a doctor, she's far more conservative than she is experimental, preferring by a wide margin the conventional approach, with her byline being to represent and carry out the best interests of the hospital. Primary wise, I considered Snake, but I think it's more likely she's compartmentalized House as "main asset", and runs interference to make sure that asset is protected (her personal relationship to House becomes more complicated the more she blurs the boundaries between "asset" and "potential romantic interest"). So she's made a utility Snake-looking model for House - otherwise, she is wired into the hospital. Aside from House, she doesn't prioritize who she focuses on in a situation by personal preference (or, tries, to, at least), and she's the final say in weighing up the different approaches presented to her because she understands the role she occupies, rather than chasing some ideal. In her relationship with House, the final push comes when she realizes he has relapsed on Vicodin - he places himself out of her realm of care, and with that the conventions of her understanding. Badger primary.

Eric Foreman - Lion Bird. Foreman's key arc in the early seasons is coming to learn his similarities, and differences, with House - his methods are cold and meticulous by design, recognizing outliers in reasoning but also keeping to the conventional path in order to minimize risk. In fact, you could probably describe a lot of Foreman as "risk-management" - his work, his family, even his relationship with Thirteen, which he cuts off to avoid bias continuing in the workplace. He has deeply felt convinctions, some of which stem from his history, and the decision he makes to administer medicine to a patient that ends up killing her bothers him to the point of him leaving House's team (temporarily). He Burns pretty badly, and only puts himself together through perservering through his pain. He doesn't seek the ideas of his team members, either. It's very lone-wolf Gryffindor, finding themselves on their own. He's a perfect, solid counterpart to House's Double Bird - although House would never admit it.

Robert Chase - Chase is interesting, in that the majority of his arcs seem to be Loyalist. His contentious relationship with his father, with Cameron, and House himself. I think, however, that is largely the result of his Secondary. He's no cuddly care-taker, but he does rely on people, for support, for approval, and has a good manner with patients because he doesn't separate his process from them. He has an easily affected exterior (that House enjoys dinging now and again), but he's a good doctor because he can respond to that and not get caught up in ideas the way other team members do. He's open in his reactions and also his desires - he tells Cameron outright, consistently, that he "likes her" every Tuesday, he doesn't like that Foreman is closed off from him (he needles people when he feels they're holding out on him), and he sucks up to House for a good few seasons before giving that a rest. It's a Badger Secondary (that got hired based on his father's connections) that wants to make a name for himself (Glory Hound Lion Primary).

Allison Cameron - Ooh, Cameron. I'll be honest, I'm not a Cameron fan, largely because she falls into that Molly Hooper, character-that -was-created-to-make-puppy-eyes-at-the-misogynistic-lead niche. That being said, she is complicated, and largely resists an identity of her own because she spends so much time around others with stronger personalities and views. Her most defining trait is that she's in love with House, and the series explores that to show that its because she's drawn to damaged personalities and people, and the majority of her actions go towards maintaining those connections with said damaged things. Why? Because she's a burnt Lion like Wilson and she lacks a consistent Cause? She certainly gets fired up by things, but there isn't really a consistent through-line. She believes in the dignity of people, but in a spotty way - she's more than willing to force an IV line down someone's throat because she thinks they should live, but also in another episode stands by another patient's right to refuse treatment and "choose what they want for themselves". She need-bases, and has an Idealist coat of armour to keep her standing in House's group, where value is given to independence of thought or deep-seated principles. I think perhaps the armour Cameron chooses is Bird, like House - she organizes her Loyalist values into, as she says later, what "he would find appealing". But she drops it quickly when it comes to positioning herself on the side of those she deems most in need. As soon as House heals his leg, she turns down his offer for a date, and he's bang on with his assessment - he's no longer a "wounded puppy she can nurse back to health". It's all Badger primary, but not a very healthy one.

As for Secondary, I think Cameron is a Lion Secondary, covering her warm Primary and warm Secondary with double cold armour - again, a Bird Secondary, but I think more for the purposes of forging her way ahead in medicine and relying on a standard set of rules and techniques, rather than her impulsive nature. It takes all of twenty seconds for House to disassemble her performance as an ice-queen wanting a letter of recommendation after his cancer scare, because it just does not wear well on Cameron. And it works in tandem with that Bird primary performance, the little Idealist Bird Lion that masks the Badger Lion underneath.

Soooo in closing;

Gregory House - Double Bird, exploded Primary, burnt Snake secondary model, builds a Snake primary model over the series James Wilson - Lion Snake, burnt Primary (or, at least, Primary that has drawn the lines for itself that does not include self-care as worth it) Lisa Cuddy - Double Badger, has a Snake primary model just for House Eric Foreman - Lion Bird Robert Chase - Lion Badger Allison Cameron - Badger Lion with an unhealthy, slightly Burnt primary, Double Bird armour

EDITING 31/3 bc my thoughts have settled more:

Arguments for Cuddy: Badger primary, but not Badger Secondary. The asset-treatment of House and the lack of fluid social skills makes me think competent Bird. And she likes to play her Bird Secondary off House.

Argument for Chase: Here's our Double Badger. Chase chafes under the expectations placed on him in a Malfoy-ish way, because he wants to do his work and be appreciated for it, but his way into his job was on the back of his family connections, so there's this question mark hanging over him that he hates. He seeks out connections, not as part of his skill-set but because he genuinely enjoys them. We don't see him joining any groups outside work, but he does ally himself strongly with his team.

Lisa Cuddy - Badger Bird

Robert Chase - Double Badger