#soundwave fits no where but everywhere all at once

[lets-try-some-writing]

since i know you like your alien worldbuilding and i’m not really sure if you’ve answered an ask related to this yet, at least for tfp, i’d just be really interested in hearing some of your ideas (if you have any) on what cybertronian beauty standards are, and how most of the main cast would be seen in regards to those standards. do they even have an understandable concept of beauty? i mean obviously shiny paint and buffed finishes would probably be the norm, and different branches of the transformers race would definitely value certain traits over others (velocitron comes to mind) but what other features do you think would be cybertronian society’s general ideals?

Heck yeah, worldbuilding time. Lets gooooooo-

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Cybertronian Beauty Standards

There are a few universals when it comes to beauty standards across Cybertron. Namely well done paint, buffed plating, and unbroken armor. However across regions and castes, there are a few preferences that are rather prevalent.

Amidst high castes, the favored form is flamboyancy and keeping up the latest trends. If one wishes to keep up to standard, they will be required to constantly change their frame, usually in irreversible ways in order to ensure they are up to snuff. The trends always change, so it is near impossible to pinpoint what is seen as beautiful at any given moment amongst the high caste, but a few constants are brighter colors, accessories in abundance, and expressive optics. Its all a way to show off authority and wealth.

Middle caste mecha tend to be more reserved, and as a general rule, a more composed and sophisticated look is the most attractive. A firm frame without any serious kibble, hardy and built to last but still with enough unique accessories to stand out. Duller versions of their high caste counterparts paint selections are often the preferred choice, but often brighter colors are still appreciated most. For the middle caste its all about showing off one's ability to take care of themselves while still standing out in a way that is not obnoxious.

Low caste mecha look for survivability in those around them to determine beauty. A sturdy frame with no serious signs of deterioration, an appealing collection of scars to tell of battles won, and bright but often cold colors are preferred. Shining silver and multiple layers of armor are seen as most beautiful due to the story such things tell. A mech who can withstand everything and still manage to buff out their plating is one who is well regarded amongst the low castes.

Across different city states, these standards largely remained the same but were adapted to the preferences of each area. In the case of Iacon and its similarly wealthy sister cities, all mecha regardless of caste were expected to maintain their frame. Bright colors, slim waists with bulky shoulders and chevrons were seen as the most appealing. Thick pedes were also seen as an expression of grace when combined with thin legs and the overall bulk of the upper body. Additional kibble was not seen as particularly appealing and often a more minimalist appearance was most well regarded since it showed a mech could go without any notable modifications. If one had modifications, they were to be hidden if the mech in question wanted to keep up appearances. Any sort of markings to the frame were looked down upon, especially scarring. Clean plating without blemish was always seen as far superior to any sort of marking in wealthy cities. With that in mind, face preference tended to lean more toward those with polished and flat faces with their most interesting feature being their optics.

Less wealthy but more productive cities like Polyhex and Vos had a whole different set of preferences. Extra kibble was seen as appealing with a particular preference toward doorwings and wings in general. To have such a sensitive piece of additional kibble was put on a pedestal as it spoke of increadible self control to not be hitting everything and everyone or responding to stimuli poorly. Visors were held in high regard partially for the protective factor they offered, but largely due to how they obscured the face, a trait that was in high demand due to the various careers seen in the more bustling cities. Identity was everything, so having a frame with a slim midsection but with kibble almost everywhere else was seen as quite beautiful. Markings were tolerated and even seen as appealing to a degree so long as they were either artistically placed, or in the case of scarring, very minimal. The preference for facial structure was not really present as most instead preferred to focus on their visors as their most notable frame addition.

In poorer cities with a higher concentration of low caste mecha, such as Kaon and Helex, preferences differed yet again. Thick armor, heavily armed, and larger frames were seen as superior in every regard. The larger and sturdier a mech was, the better. A degree of curvage was seen as appealing, but largely the beauty was found in armor structure and useful kibble. Mecha in poorer cities resented any sort of ridiculous flamboyancy and much preferred quieter methods of showing off their grace. Polished but scarred armor was a mark of wisdom and prowess. Cooler colors showed an ability to go into battle without regard for faction or affiliation. Open weaponry showed bravery and honor since they quite clearly knew when and when not to fight. Usefulness was the most appealing, along with more aggressive plating structure. Unlike other cities, smooth and simple plating was not the most beautiful and instead most mecha agreed that spikes or at least extra boxy armor was better. With that in mind, sharper faces were also in higher demand.

Excluding cities, beauty standards fell into an interesting gray area that depended entirely on region. In small settlements, everything depending on environment. Those that lived near the sea were fond of the bulkier mecha since they could withstand the storms. They cared for them even more if their colors were various shades or orange and rust. Mecha from the spire forests were far fonder of tall and spindly frames, those with dark colors of the earth capable of rushing between obstacles without regard for the difficulties of a larger body. Those from the open plains and wastes fancied those more capable of speed so that they could get from point A to B without need for days of travel. Everything depended on region when not in the cities.

While there were outliers and small subcultures with different preferences, this is the overview.

[plokoonsdisapprovingeyebrows]

Part 2 of the frametypes headcanon ramble.

Under a cut this time bc it’s l o n g.

↠ PART ONE : read first otherwise this prob wont make sense lol 

Notes on Groundframes

↠   Light standards are like your basic sedan, they're fuckin everywhere and most people can't tell the subtypes apart. They make up just under 20% of the population on their own, and tend to be thought of as the ‘average Cybertronian’, for better or worse. There are nine subtypes based on location of origin:

Iaconic — tallish, slim, kinda plain otherwise. Very common.

Meridian — tend to be dorito-shaped, with big spoilers or vents. The most common of the subtypes, theyre fuckin everywhere.

Tagani — smaller than the others, compact and flexible design specs, have a reputation for being the 'sportsmecha' of the frametype due to being made for getting around in big honkin mountains. Fairly rare outside of the Tagan rus.

Kaoni — big and stronk for an average sedan, curvy design aesthetic. Common in the southern hemisphere, less so in the north bc having ‘Kaon’ attached to ur name is an instant popularity nerf.

Tarnais — big and often kinda boxy, probably turns into a small ute. Also common in the south and less so in the north.

Praxian — average in every way except for the doorwings. Not actually that common anymore. The 'doorwing' aesthetic originally comes from Praxus but at this point it's present in most of the northern subtypes because Fashion. 

Polyhexi — the northern equivalent of the Kaoni type, generally kinda short and stocky. Super common.

Tyresti — tends to be tall and slim. Design aesthetic leans toward big audial fins, spoilers, generally more flourishes than strictly necessary. Not super common outside of Tyrest.

Tyger Paxi — smallish, often Round. Most notable trait is three-fingered hands, also tend to be enframed with a colorful paintjob. Not common outside of Tyger Pax.

Despite the subtype names being based on locale of origin, they can generally be found all over the planet. There are more of the Polyhexi light standard subtype in Helex than in Polyhex, for example.

Average heights tend to range between 16′ to 20′ or so. Modding for occupation, hobbies, or just plain fashion is very very common and there are a load of different frame blueprints anyway, which makes identifying who’s got what frametype even more difficult. (Functionists hate this.)

↠   Heavy standards are also super common and can be hard to tell apart, though less so because there’s only six subtypes. The Towers subtype is particularly difficult to identify unless you have experience; they can potentially be shorter and weigh less than those aforementioned really large light standards. Heavy standards tend to be more heavyset than light standards, but aside from being slightly larger the main difference between the frametypes is in armor and engine grade  — heavies have heavier armor and more powerful engines; they're made to carry a bigger load.

Hesperidus class — more or less the 'ancestral' type. They tend to be leggier and a bit slimmer than other heavies. Spot a hesperidus mech by the deep chests and the big feet.

Equatorial, Boreal, and Austral types were the result of semi-deliberate selection for large long-distance haulers, in the ages before throttles and dexters. They tend to be boxy, heavyset, probably have a van alt.

Towers class —  was developed much later than the rest, to fit the Second Generation nobility's aesthetic ideals because what's the point of having a capable servant if they don't look good? (Second Generation noble culture, incidentally, is where the seeds of Functionism came from.)

They also tend to be found in lower-ranked castes than the light standards (with two exceptions being the priestly castes and medics, the former because size is a useful visual shorthand for authority and the latter because working on bigger patients is easier if u are also Big). You'll occasionally see them with offroad tyres and utility altmodes, whereas that's very much Frowned Upon for light standards under a Functionist viewpoint.

↠   Throttles came from the same semideliberate selection process as the bigger heavy standard classes. Cybertronian society in the rebuilding years of the First Generation was mostly made up of small frametypes (because the small frametypes were those who found it easiest to hide underground from the Cataclysm!), and so once they emerged from the cavernous underworld, they found they had a great need for larger, stronger mecha capable of going long distances without the need for refueling. (This is also the same process that gave rise to the durus and efficiens system configurations.) Throttles were the largest and heaviest of these mecha, and for a long time they were actively prized - up until supply outstripped demand and they became associated so strongly with the labor castes that as the social value of the labor castes decreased, so did the status of the throttles.

There are two subtypes:

Southern — developed in the First Generation settlement of the Austral rus. They’re Extremely Common in the labor castes due to their size, strength, and physical endurance. Their armor pattern is usually kinda blocky and/or pointy because that was the height of Fashion for ages and ages. Probably turns into a small truck or some other specialised work vehicle.

Northern — developed about the same time in the settlement of the Tagan rus. Much less common as a result, because the Tagan Heights turned out to be a huge pain in the ass to colonise. They’re often Extremely Round and very well-reinforced, could probably fall off a mountain and their reaction would be like “oops my bad.” 

↠   Minibots are the one frametype to have thrived in the Cataclysm. Cybertron's underworld is full of cramped and narrow spaces, so smaller mecha were able to take shelter much deeper and in many more places than larger mecha. The original minibots tended to look like a standard, simply scaled down. Modern frametype subdivisions occurred once Cybertronian society moved out of the underworld into the wide open plains and proto-cities of the First Generation, and suddenly being small in a world of increasingly large mecha was a scarier prospect. 

Compact minibots — selected for resilience and the ability to take a pounding and bounce back as quickly as possible. They’re flexible, with simple internal system design and often end up looking a lot like one another, aside from paintjobs and other personal decorations.

Articulates — selected for agility and the ability to get into spaces other mecha can’t. Often built with non-standard proportions, long limbs and occasionally extra limbs and tails. 

Sylph minibots — selected for speed and the ability to avoid getting hit in the first place. Common as a frametype, especially where space or other resources are at a premium.

It's culturally quite common and accepted for the articulate and sylph types to physically climb all over their larger brethren (provided they have the appropriate relative ranks/social status). This serves the dual purpose of putting the minibot on more or less the same level as their interlocutor, and making sure the minibot is out of the way of getting stepped on or whatever.

↠   Dexters were one result of a deliberate bioengineering project during the Quintesson Wars, at a time when Cybertron was losing the fight and thus was getting desperate enough to throw whatever the heck they could come up with at the invaders. Researchers took code inheritances from heavy standards, throttles, and heavy warbuilds to create a new type of mech, one with the inherent combat capabilities of the warbuilds and the size, strength, and most importantly the endurance and resilience of the large groundframes, which could serve as an all-rounder both in combat and in supply chains and behind-the-lines defense. Unlike some previous attempts at bioengineering, this was a roaring success.

Dexters are also quite common among Towersmecha despite their size and the perception of them as being suited best to labor, hauling and fighting. The Towersmecha are deliberately invoking an older perception of dexters: this is the shit that won us the Quintesson Wars, so put up or shut up.

Aegis dexters — often interestingly lanky in appearance - think TFP Optimus and pre-war Soundwave - and heavily-armored enough that the warbuild inheritance is visible. They are the most common subtype; you'll find them most often in the military and ground freight castes.

Eurus dexters — some of the biggest groundframes, often outstripping the largest heavy warbuilds and coming second only to their dexter cousins, the rayets. They are much more heavyset than the aegis subtype, though again visibly well-armored. They tend to have something of an hourglass shape, and altmodes are basically limited to large haulers, tanks, and guncars.

Rayet dexters — the largest groundbound transforming mecha bar none. They are often tall and leggy, though not to the same extent as aegis dexters, and the vast majority take on rail altmodes and work in rail-based castes. The largest can have difficulty finding accommodation and furniture that's rated for their size. Some absolute madman once had the idea of creating a combiner entirely out of rayet dexters and these guys are now basically the biggest celebrities on Velocitron. (Literally.) 

Notes on Flightframes

↠   Light jets are most of what came through the Cataclysm unharmed; jets have always tended larger than groundbound frames because of their engines (both physical size and the size of the tanks needed to hold enough fuel to keep them going) and also their wings. The frametype subdivisions among light jets are divided by engine grade and how far a jet can fly without needing to be refueled, and therefore size.

Flightframes in general can be easily modded for aquatic altmodes, but it is most common among light jets. This is a fairly comprehensive mod, involving most bodily systems, but it's not considered a reformat because it's not really changing any of the frame's basic architecture (although wing area is usually significantly reduced). By contrast, modding a warframe or a groundframe for a fully-aquatic altmode requires a full reformat.

Super-light jets — the jet equivalent of minibots, fairly common and especially well-suited to city life. Often small and agile enough to fly indoors, and like groundbound minibots are prone to climbing their larger brethren. Flightframes tend to dislike this more than groundframes do, so this subtype has a reputation for being particularly scatterbrained and tactile.

Aurora-class — a little larger, match well to the light and heavy standards in size class. Usually leggy with wide shoulders and dorito torsos, engines often slung on the back between flexible wing-joints. Accounts for probably like 25% of all flightframes because they strike a handy balance of ‘can fly’ with ‘relatively cheap to build’ and ‘won’t drink you out of house and home.’

Comet-class — larger again, roughly dexter-sized. Cuts a striking figure with long wings and legs, but aren’t particularly economic either in enframing costs or fuel intake. Mostly they turn up in rich clades, which then gives them a secondary reputation for being Pretty.

↠   Heavy jets diverged from light jets twice - once during the Dynasty of Primes, and once again after the Cataclysm. The largest Dynastic flightframes were simply too large to take shelter underground as the meteorites began to hit. As such, while light jets are one of the five most common frametypes, heavy jets are much rarer, and tend to be limited in the jobs they do and the castes they occupy. Socially, they’re also limited by their sheer size - a common refrain among the larger flightframes.

Like light jets, the subtypes are divided by engine grade and range, and overall size:

Notos-class — the smallest, but only relative to the other classes. Usually identifiable by not having delta-wings, and a relatively slim v-shaped frame. 

Lipara-class — delta-winged and often built like a flying brick. You can tell they were built for cargo, although these days they’re somewhat outdated. 

Erebus-class — delta-winged, extreme long-distance fliers built for speed and coverage. Often mistaken for smaller shuttles, but generally not capable of spaceflight.

↠   Shuttles diverged from heavy jets relatively late; during the Quintesson Wars, as a product of the increased need for rapid long-distance transport. The smallest shuttles usually look very similar in root-mode to the Erebus-class heavy jets (and even their frame blueprints and code inheritance is extremely similar at a glance), but where heavy jets are limited to atmospheric flight, the shuttles are capable of spaceflight. Consequently the heavy jet >> shuttle reformat is one of the easiest to do.

Delta-class — the vanguard of Cybertron’s moon colonies, designed for local space exploration. Tend to have the classic flightframe dorito shape with large delta wings.

Iota-class — capable of longer-range spaceflight, generally built to be extremely self-sufficient. Usually not an atmospheric flier; wings are small if present at all and tend to get tacked onto unusual places in root mode.

Omega-class — these guys are the biggest transforming Cybertronians, period. Extremely rare, extremely valuable; all those in existence were created by cold-construction in several waves during the Imperial expansion period, explicitly to augment imperial Cybertron's colonial forces. Can be very expensive to maintain, don’t tend to be economically independent in their own right.*

↠   Satellites diverged from heavy jets during the Second Generation, in an experiment which took the lonely high-altitude communications relay hubs and stationed them on the edge of space, orbiting Cybertron like the moons. These first satellites were heavy jets which underwent a fairly simple reformat to make them spaceworthy and give them powerful inbuilt communications hardware. In the early years, these mecha underwent many more mods to make them more efficient at their jobs, and new satellites were designed according to a particular psychological profile - many of those early recruits were simply too social to tolerate extended periods of solitude. Quickly, a new frametype emerged.

Perseid & Lyrid — very similar subtypes originating from Praxus and Tarn respectively. These are common in public, private, and military enterprises alike, and are capable of limited atmospheric flight. They tend to be lanky and full of interesting cables.

Eridanid — rarer, larger, and less maneuverable in atmospheric flight. Most satellites are faceless because why bother? but eridanids take this to an extreme and sometimes lack normal arms or heads entirely. 

Tryptid — the largest, are not capable of atmospheric flight at all beyond what is necessary to reach orbital altitude. Like eridanids, they can be identified by fuckin weird body plans.

Satellites and shuttles both contain base coding that prepares them for long periods of solitude. Satellites especially spend most of their time hooked into various planetary networks and often have lively online presences, but depending on their jobs they may go entire vorn without being in the physical presence of another mech. They have a reputation for being very self-sufficient as a result, and often experience culture shock upon returning to their planetary bases.

↠   Rotaries were created in the same no-holds-barred frenzy of military experimentation that created dexters. These are the odd ducks of the flightframe family, inherently flight-capable but sharing more of their code blueprint with groundframes than with flightframes. Cybertronian rotaries are augmented with adjustable jet engines, increasing their load capabilities and range to an extent. Their specialty is in slow flight and hovering; they were designed essentially as aerial assault platforms. They are heavily-armored, usually have two or three different engine systems, often bristling with gun placements, and most of them are rather large. 

Zephyr-class — smallish, usually angular and winged. Historically less common than their larger counterparts because of their smaller size, but also an unfortunate tendency to be aggressive little fraggers.

Bolide-class — bigger, more common, best defenses of any of the flightframes, primarily because they’re easy targets. Tend to be built like bricks, with about that much subtlety too.

Notes on Warframes

↠   Light warbuilds and heavy warbuilds are primarily distinguished from each other by armor grade and intended combat role, with heavy warbuilds taking on direct combat roles and light warbuilds primarily intended for ancillary roles (though they are perfectly capable of combat if required and do share the combat optimization of the warframe class as a whole). Light warbuilds have a lighter armor grade, and do not get quite as large as heavy warbuilds, but otherwise they can be very hard to tell apart.

Skirmisher class — optimized for ranged combat and awkward terrain. Light and agile with a lot of gun emplacements and highly developed sensory processing with built-in targeting software. Often mistaken for ur average sedan.

Scout class —  optimized for information gathering and being very sneaky. Look like minibots, usually.

Ranger class — combine the two previous types with a focus on long-term missions and endurance. Also tend to look like nothing in particular.

Executive class — are the rarest subtype, with a focus on large-scale data analysis, communications and command. Lots of variation in body type and armor pattern; the internal stuff is what’s characteristic of the subtype.

Heavy warbuilds are divided into three subclasses based on size, armor grade, and intended combat role:

Chevalier class — optimized mainly for speed in close quarters combat. They range across four size classes and account for the largest percentage of the warbuild population. Could be mistaken for an average sedan, but the armor grade tends to be a giveaway.

Reinforcement class — optimized for holding a defensive line; they have the heaviest armor and generally the biggest weapons. Brick-shaped, sometimes wider than they are tall.

Frontliner class — optimized for breaking the other side's defensive line; they have the second biggest weapons and are generally the biggest scariest mecha on the field. Tend to be what others think of when they hear the word 'warframe', despite being relatively uncommon.

↠   Flighted Warbuilds are often called Seekers, a reference to their tendency for target fixation. The nickname caught on in common parlance for being less of a mouthful than the original term. Seekers originated from the same source as dexters and rotaries; their initial code blueprint was a blend of flightframe physical capabilities with warframe armor, weapons systems, and skeletal architecture. Despite having inherent flight capabilities, Seekers are counted among the warframes because they possess all the extra bits that make warframes what they are. They are by far and away the most successful of the warborn frametypes, with a population nine times larger as the dexters and nearly thirty times larger than the rotaries.

Seekers are divided into three subtypes by size, intended combat role, and range. 

Skirmisher class — the smallest, agile in the air and best against aerial opponents, but also have the smallest range. Tend to be slim and leggy in root mode.

Bomber class — the largest, with the longest range, the highest top speed and the biggest guns, but also the least maneuverable. Tend to be solid and heavy-limbed in root mode.

Multirole class — strike an elegant balance between skirmisher and bomber, and are generally considered the archetypal Seeker. Classic long-legged dorito shape in root mode.

↠   Triplechangers also originate from the wartime developmental period, but remain exponentially rarer than the other three warborn frametypes, primarily because of the truly ludicrous cost associated with building a triplechanger frame. If you see a triplechanger, chances are they’re either high-ranking military or out of the Towers.

They are divided into two subtypes by size and potential altmode groups: 

Ouranos class — generally take one large grounded altmode such as a freight hauler and one small jet or aquatic altmode. Roughly brick-shaped.

Atlas class — generally take one very large grounded altmode such as a locomotive or a tank, and one large jet or aquatic altmode. Roughly house-shaped.

Notes on Monophase Frames

↠   The defining characteristic of monophase frames is that they do not transform. They are a product of the Golden Age colonial push, built to sacrifice transformation ability for defensive size and self-sufficiency. The latter means that they are their own transport, accommodation, and energy-production facility. They do require an intermediary to act for them in the physical world of Cybertron, due to being too large to participate in most real-world social environments, but otherwise are entirely independent. This intermediary is called a keynote, drawing from the much older practice of symbiosis between Cybertronians and minicons, wherein the Cybertronian 'host' is referred to as a keynote. (Similarly, the heart of a gestalt network is also referred to as a keynote.)

↠   Sparked ships came first; the logical conclusion of the Omega class shuttle program. The enormous spark of a sparked ship, created by energy drawn from the Well of All Sparks over a full day, allows such ships to support bodies and systems exponentially larger than an Omega class shuttle - large enough that transformation became impossible, and even larger; enough that the loss of transformation capability was worth it. Sparked ships could carry propulsion systems capable of reaching far-flung corners of the galaxy; necessary in the years before the space bridge network, and could monitor and control their own life-support systems, making decisions in extremis and allowing mecha on board to be placed in suspended animation for the length of the journey to ensure that the ship reached its destination with plenty of resources with which to build a colony.

↠   Sparked cities followed soon after, as an extension of the same program. The first sparked city, named Boreas, was placed on Cybertron, becoming a satellite city of Protihex. 

The advantage of sparked cities over traditional cities was that they could be built with extremely limited mobility. Place a sparked city by a rich mineral vein as a convenient residence for all your workers and smelters/refineries, and once the vein runs dry in the future, the city can, over several months, recycle or cast off much of its mass, allowing for efficient transport to the new location and in the process reducing itself to its most fundamental skeleton, at which point it it can simply pick itself up and walk to the next location.

Notes on Unclassified Frames

This is where the mad science happens. :D

↠   Unclassified frames are built from scratch. They might start off from the skeleton of a recognised frametype (most do because it's slightly cheaper) but then be modified past the point of recognition for some reason - usually, to fulfil a task that requires unusual specs. It takes a lot to make such a frame 'unclassified' - you have to change multiple systems in a pervasive manner. One example are the handful of 'living gun emplacements' that were created during Nova Prime's colonial wars, mecha whose entire frames were built around an enormous plasma gun. These mecha did not live long or comfortable lives; the stresses of firing that gun ultimately proved too much and the design was shelved indefinitely.

Red Alert is the only unclassified frame I've thought much about; he has most of the outward features of a standard Cybertronian (he looks like a particularly tall heavy standard) but his 'alt mode' is basically him wiring himself into a very special supercomputer, one of three that monitor the Grid at all times. He's stuffed full of interesting nanocircuits that don't look like anything much until he's in that alt mode form, at which they reveal themselves to be thousands of very small processors geared toward a single purpose - data monitoring. (If you're doing stuff on the Grid, you've got a one in three chance of Red Alert being your own personal FBI agent meme.)

Notes on Other Shit

↠   Economic independence (or lack thereof) is an unfortunate Golden Age construction related to the buying and selling of debts, and the economic exploitation of those subject to said debts. Larger shuttles and satellites, triplechangers, and especially monophase mecha tend to end up in contracts where their entire lives are controlled by whoever’s paying for their basic upkeep. The individual mech cannot be bought and sold - but their creation debt and upkeep costs can be.

As u can imagine, this went down the plughole with Optimus Prime’s accession to the Primacy; he narrowly escaped a similar fate mainly bc the Hall of Records head honchos had slightly too many Morals. Unfortunately, by then the Great War was well underway.

[tsuki-here]

So I finally decided to write a tfp oneshot; I didn't really want to write anything multi-chaptered since I probably wouldn't have time to finish it, sooo I did this instead. Might try writing some other oneshots in the future, if I find the time. I haven't been able to write anything in months, so it probably ain't that good haha

Title: Hamaka

Characters: Starscream and Knock Out

Word count: 1,696

Pairings: Mentioned Breakdown/Knock Out, somewhat implied Starscream/Knock Out if you wanna interpret it as more than friendship

Summary: It was unfortunate when the minutes blurred into hours, the words came to a halt, and Starscream felt he had perhaps overstayed his welcome. He stood and made his way toward the door, mumbling about having something to do, only glancing back when he heard the other bot call his name.

---------

He strode down the hall of the Nemesis with a forced air of purpose; body tensed, wings up, head held high, and face set in a grim, focused scowl. Not a single other soul was present in the hallway, so it seemed to all be a show for no one, but he knew better. There were cameras everywhere.

Turning the corner, he finally reached his destination and activated the panel to open the massive door in front of him, not daring to look back and see the trail of blue spatters that marked his path through the ship.

The instant the door slid shut behind him, Starscream let the facade drop. Wings fell, shoulders slumped, and an exhausted sigh escape him as he trudged to the examination table near the back wall of the room, ignoring the red optics that were already assessing his injuries from across the room.

This was one of the few places without a camera; Knock Out had made a big scene about 'doctor-patient confidentiality' when Soundwave had tried to install one cycles ago. After enough ranting and dramatics, Megatron finally caved just to shut him up. Soundwave installed one just outside the door instead, and even if the medic wasn't happy about it, he didn't push his luck on getting it removed. The walls were soundproof anyways; only when the door opened was the spyware liable to pick anything up.

With a quiet hiss, Starscream perched on the edge of the table as Knock Out gravitated to his side. He mumbled something inaudible about the Autobots, and the doctor gave a vague nod of understanding and pretended to believe him.

A few metallic clicks sounded somewhere just out of his peripherals as Knock Out's hand turned into a welding torch and he got started on mending any of the wounds that were bleeding. "You really ended up in bad shape."

He hadn't expected much more than that; consoling wasn't something the other bot excelled at. In fact, Starscream was surprised the response was so mild. No sarcasm or mockery that he was accustomed to when visiting the medbay, no prying for information with insensitive questions. That didn't mean he wouldn't make use of his own snarkiness. "Is that really your professional opinion, doctor?"

There wasn't an immediate response, and a period of silence elapsed as Knock Out continued his work, patching each and every open wound and split-open metal until no more energon trickled down to collect in the puddle on the floor. Starscream managed to get through the painful part of the procedure by gritting his teeth and waiting it out, until finally the blowtorch disappeared with another series of clicks. He closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief as the sound of receding footsteps reached his audio receptors.

He realized he must have zoned out for a moment; next thing he knew, the red bot was at his side again, this time with a rotary buffer, and was nudging his arm away from his side with a gentle hand to get better access to the scuffed and dented armor there. Starscream complied to the wordless instruction, lifting his limb out of the way as the buffer spun to life with a soft whirring noise and began it's work smoothing out any unsightly marks.

In the span of a few minutes, the Seeker felt himself relaxing and his wings returning to their normal positioning rather than hanging miserably as if made of lead. This was one of the few things that could be looked forward to these days, it seemed, even if the relief was only temporary.

"So, are you going to tell me what really happened?" Knock Out finally spoke up again, moving on to work on his right wing and lightly tilting it up. "Must have been pretty serious if Megatron left you in this condition."

Starscream rolled his optics. There it was. Knock Out could never get through one of these sessions without saying something insensitive. His words were always barbed and laced with poison, in such a stark contrast to his handiwork, which was always carried out with such care. It made him wonder if it was some window into the doctor's life - pre-war life - anyways. Despite how much Knock Out talked, he never really said much. At least, nothing that mattered. All of the cycles he'd known the medic, and he knew nothing of his life before the war or why he'd joined the Decepticons, anything even remotely personal. And on top of that, he was near impossible to read. He knew how to guard his emotions, and he had no obvious body language to go off of, such as how he had his wings that often reflected his inner emotional state. Had he been kinder, back then? Or was he reading into something that held no meaning at all? "It's none of your business."

Knock Out merely hummed in acknowledgement and kept any further questions on the matter to himself, continuing his work with slow, methodical movements of the buffer. "If you say so."

Despite being quite the extrovert, Knock Out usually preferred to provide a type of company that was almost feline in nature. Simply being in the same room, talking about nothing, fixing up any blemishes- Actions doing all the communication because words just didn't fit his style of serious self-expression.

He wasn't really ready for the procedure to be over, and the internal sense of dread came bubbling back up nearly instantly when Knock Out stepped back and the buffer came to a halt. Being fixed meant he had to leave, had to return to difficult decisions and scrambling to stay alive. Had to risk ending up right back in the medbay if something went wrong, and that was if he was lucky.

Normally he would stand immediately, test his limbs and joints to make a show of ensuring the medic did his job correctly before excusing himself typically without any thanks. This time, Starscream stayed where he was as Knock Out returned his tool to its rightful place, hoping not to be asked why he lingered. The medbay was the one place he could relax, and expect a degree of comfort and understanding; it was safe.

[But no, that wasn't quite right, because the room had nothing to do with it, the room was nothing. The medbay wasn't safe, Knock Out was safe. It's such an important distinction, one Starscream still struggled to fully comprehend because trust was usually deadly in his experience.]

And safety was so rare and precious here, more valuable than any gem or riches one could ever hope to fathom.

It was no wonder, then, that the troops were drawn to the medbay for similar reasons as he was, all like moths to a dazzling light. The vehicons were all nobodies, created simply for the purpose of being bodies to throw at the enemy. They were mostly neglected and treated as tools, or at best, just ignored and deemed irrelevant, so a doctor's visit was as good as it got. Even if Knock Out didn't particularly care about the soldiers, he still treated them as living beings when he tended to their injuries, not to mention they got to be the center of his attention for those brief few minutes.

In fact, Starscream had an inkling that some of the vehicons' rather common injuries from the energon mines weren't quite as accidental as they claimed. He had no doubt at least a few of them had a little crush on the doctor and just wanted an excuse to visit the medbay to get their paint jobs fixed. He couldn't say he blamed them; Knock Out glowed like a flame on a starless night.

After a few moments passed, he felt the medic's gaze on him once again, and braced himself to make some excuse of why he hadn't left yet, though the question never came. Rather, Knock Out stated, "At least the war can't drag on for too much longer, with the limited resources left. We'll be able to return to Cybertron soon, I imagine."

The change in topic was welcome, anything to distract from the reason he was there to begin with, not to mention to focus on a more hopeful prospect.

[A part of him recognized Knock Out chose the topic with a level of subtle deliberation, specifically to get his mind in a better place. The automobile was never too concerned with the fate of Cybertron; he'd grown too fond of Earth over the years, Primus knows why.]

The conversation meandered from there, drifting like a raft lost at sea between topics and non-topics, words that hardly even made sense and were just there to fill the void.

It was unfortunate when the minutes blurred into hours, the words came to a halt, and Starscream felt he had perhaps overstayed his welcome. He stood and made his way toward the door, mumbling about having something to do, only glancing back when he heard the other bot call his name.

"Be careful," was all Knock Out had to say, but there was a tone of concern and hurt in his expression that Starscream wasn't sure he'd ever heard or seen before.

[Because Breakdown was dead and the doctor was still grieving for his conjunx, in his own internalized way, and there wasn't much left he had to care about now.]

He didn't know what to say or what he even could say to ease the other's worry, and just turned away. The medbay doors slid shut behind him, and the sudden, oppressive isolation was like a physical blow that required a moment to recover from before he started down the dark hallway, this time without any limp or biting pain. His path of blood splotches still remained, the glow of the energon having dulled with the passage of time, like an eerie breadcrumb trail beckoning to him. He followed, vaguely aware that it was luring him back into the vicious cycle of war and violence he'd grown accustomed to over the millions of years, and with every step, further away from home.

[darkstarofchaos]

Evil Authors Day: The Final WIP

Title: Acid and Rust

Universe: G1

Everyone knows warlords don’t take vacations, but apparently Megatron’s officers didn’t get the memo. Bringing Starscream along was his own mistake. Crack being treated like a serious fic.

Main Pairings: Megatron/Starscream

Anticipated Rating: Mature for non-graphic sex and mutual PTSD.

This sample scene is SFW and contains a self-indulgent level of creative license regarding Cybertronian geology.

Megatron was no stranger to rust. It had been a fact of life in Kaon, and in all the industrial cities of Cybertron’s southern hemisphere, for longer than he had existed. Even before the war there had been no escaping it, or the sharp, cloying scent of sickness and death that accompanied it. No matter how much one might want to.

So when Astrotrain’s doors slid open and that cursed scent was the first thing Megatron registered, he could only think it was a fitting start to this so-called ‘vacation’.

He stepped to the top of Astrotrain’s ramp and surveyed the barren landscape before him, debating whether or not to venture further. Whatever might once have existed on this island, countless acid storms had worn it down to a wasteland. The ground was a pale, powdery green, veined with black and yellow, until it met the dark, steaming waters of the Sea of Rust not far from where Astrotrain had landed. The stench of rust didn’t quite mask the sulfuric burn in the air.

The last thing Megatron wanted to do was step out onto that corroded ground. But he wasn’t about to be beaten by a mere island, so he strode out to get a look at what lay on Astrotrain’s other side. The ground squished unpleasantly underfoot, and yellow-tinted beads of moisture were already gathering on Megatron’s armor. And that scent was everywhere. Halting his vents provided some slight relief, but as high as the temperature was here, it wouldn’t take long to overheat if he kept them stopped.

This was not the location Soundwave had said was chosen as a suitable vacation site. The only explanation was that Starscream had interfered somehow, and had chosen the most horrid place he could find.

 “Well, isn’t this just lovely,” the Seeker in question grumbled behind him. “Our own private island.”

 Megatron scowled and turned back to find Starscream lingering at the top of the ramp much as he had done, though with far less dignity. He was peering at the ground with an expression of utter disgust, wings angled back as though it had offended him simply by existing. Given the chance, he would probably be happy to slip back inside Astrotrain and leave Megatron stranded here.

“Considering you doubtless chose this place to be as miserable as possible, I would think you’d be more enthusiastic about it,” Megatron said scathingly.

The look Starscream turned on him was only slightly less appalled than the one the ground had received. “What makes you think I had anything to do with this?”

“You knew this nonsense was being planned. That’s one strike against you already.”

“So what? I didn’t think you’d actually go along with it!” 

 “Hey, do you think you could get out if you’re going to?” Astrotrain interrupted. “My interior is getting damp.”

 Starscream dropped his gaze back to the muddy ground, and the outrage that had briefly crossed his face was once more replaced by disgust.

 “Yes,” Megatron agreed. “Why don’t you come out and take a nice hard look at your home for the next orn.”

 A part of him didn’t expect Starscream to actually do it. For a moment it seemed that he wouldn’t do it, and Megatron prepared to head back up the ramp and drag him down. Then Starscream sighed and stepped cautiously out onto the ramp, which was already clouded with condensation. Megatron kept an optic on him until he had hopped to a patch of pale ground, just in case he tried to escape back inside, then turned away to finish his survey of the area. Not that there was much to see. The beach to the north eventually gave way to acid-worn cliffs that bore the same sickly green tarnish as the ground, and everything else was mud and steaming water.

“You may go, Astrotrain,” Megatron said, before he - or Starscream - could change his mind. “Return here in an orn.”

Astrotrain muttered an affirmative, already closing his doors. He took off without further prompting, but considering the place he was leaving, Megatron couldn’t fault him the lack of respect. He wouldn’t stay here either, if he didn’t have a point to prove.

He watched Astrotrain go, then turned a dark look on Starscream, who stood with arms folded and face still set in a revolted grimace.

“I find it interesting that you’re surprised I would ‘go along’ with this, considering every officer in the High Command agreed that this ridiculous trip was a good idea,” Megatron said. “Including you, if I’m not mistaken.”

Starscream broke off his staring contest with the ground to sneer at Megatron instead. “The surprise is that you were willing to listen to reason, considering your decisions lately have only cost us battles. If you hadn’t been working yourself so hard that you were making basic mistakes, maybe we wouldn’t be here now.”

 Megatron growled and strode towards Starscream, absently noting that the tarnished metal was more solid than the mud he’d been standing in. “We wouldn’t be here now if you hadn’t tried to ship me off to a rusted wasteland!”

“Oh, please,” Starscream scoffed. “Do you really think I would have been able to pull that off without your mindless followers realizing I was up to something?”

It was a fair point. Neither Soundwave nor Shockwave would have stood back and allowed Starscream to strand their leader on an island. And had it come from a less treacherous mech, Megatron might have been willing to give him the benefit of doubt. But Starscream had a way of getting around such minor obstacles.

“None of my loyal followers would have chosen such a dismal site for a vacation,” Megatron countered. “That doesn’t leave many possibilities.”

Starscream’s mouth twisted. “Have it your way. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to make sure there’s nothing living on this island that has a taste for fresh metal. I’m sure you would have thought of that yourself if your processor wasn’t so worn out.”

He leaped from the ground and transformed before Megatron had a chance to respond, blasting off into the sky. Megatron was tempted to shoot him right back down after that last remark, but he opted not to. He had more productive things to do, and once Starscream had had a chance to think about his behavior, he would realize Megatron had every reason to punish him for it. Letting him dwell on that would be suitable punishment for now.

Megatron turned from the sky to study the bluffs instead, optics raking the surface for a cave deep enough to use as shelter. Unsurprisingly, there weren’t any. This island had been worn smooth by hundreds of thousands of vorns of acid storms. If there were any caves, they would be a result of acid forming puddles and melting its way deeper. No one with any sense would take shelter in a hole. But setting up camp by the cliffs would at least provide some protection from the elements.

Megatron hadn’t survived vorns of war only to be defeated by some rusted out island. Whatever Starscream was up to, he would have to try harder than this.

[aestheticsoundwaves]

pWhat's up World! Yes, I am back with another interesting episode of AS.  First, thank you for the tune ins from everyone and everywhere. It is always appreciated and much respect.  Today's episode is a compilation/ best of AS show.  This is my first time really doing a best of show.  I figured I have enough shows now that I can put together a set of cuts from episodes that I really was influenced by, etc.  Plus, this is the Season 4 Finale! I am closing this season out with this show.  In the next few weeks, will be starting on Season 5! So have no fear; I will be back soon with more AS goodies and surprises.  You know how Glas does it. /ppConcerning this episode though, listed below the description is the Set order of shows I like most and also mentions of others I could not fit in this show.  Yet, they are just as good in my eyes. If one enjoys AS and really likes a big back catalog to go through; then these are essentials to hear/ understand AS and where/ how it was conceived, so on. Once again, thanks to all the listeners from old to new.  AS keeps on going because of your support.  I mean that. Have a good and blessed day.  Keep those heads up.  One love.  Next wave...Glas/pp /ppAS Show 102 Set Order of shows (Glas's Top List): 1, 3, 4, 8,11,13, 25, 34, 35, 41, 66(Part 2)./ppAS Shows Other...

[verdigrisprowl]

Jan 4 Blurr’s Horror Stream - The Birds

Half the room wanted the birds to get on with it and kill people. There was plentiful theorization about the cause of the birds’ behavior. Shockwave was just glad that birds are real. Prowl graciously loaned his imaginary sham-wow to Whirl, who later passed it on to Laserbeak, who got strangled by dust when it disappeared.

Welcome to the 'speedxstealer' room. Shockwave: *He takes a seat.* B l u r r: / He has arrived. In his nice cloak made of mech's parts and such./ B l u r r: [[ one second ]] Shockwave: *How fashionable. This establishment rivals the Culture Club in terms of class.* B l u r r: / Oh does it? / B l u r r: Hello, Shockwave. Shockwave: Greetings. It appears I have arrived before the rest of the frequent guests. Whirl: *trots right in and makes a beeline for the Whirl Hammock* Eyy, Teach! Shockwave: ...Well, that did not last long. B l u r r: Yes, it appears so. B l u r r: / wiggles claws at Whirl / Shockwave: Do you require any assistance in setup, Blurr? Whirl: *snip snips his claws back* B l u r r: Ah, well, if you'd like to. B l u r r: I don't have many snacks. The journey for the key was a bit time consuming. Whirl: The key? *tilts head* B l u r r: Yes. A key. Shockwave: That is fine, I do not necessarily require any. FakeProwl: *huh. he thought he'd be late. but no.* B l u r r: / smirks at Shockwave/ Well then. You can help me roll out the tables if you'd like. Whirl: What kinda--are you down there having all kinds of adventures on Earth WITHOUT me? Shockwave: *He gets out of his aquired seat to assist. Consider this a subtle 'thank you' for the first energon donation.* Shockwave: *Of course, this doesn't pay it back in full, but he's doing what he can for now.* FakeProwl: *claims seat on Soundwave's couch to wait for him to show up* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave is preceded by a yammering crowd of minis who all seem excited to see tonight's movie. Laserbeak and Buzzsaw are the most vocally excited.* B l u r r: / setting tables up/ No, it wasn't on Earth, actually. B l u r r: Although... we've... come to a compromise. Roadbuster and I. Whirl: Oh? *tilts his head, interested* Whirl: They're not staying here any more? B l u r r: They are, but... just until I... /grumbles/ Shockwave: *He nods to soundwave just as he's finishing up with a table.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave himself nods his helm to everyone on the way to his couch and - aha, there's his usual companion already waiting for him. No arguments here. He'll slide in and be pleased.* Whirl: ...*Blurr: Ah, sorry. Y'know it probably should've dawned on me that it's... y'know. Sensitive Subject. Whirl: *will spare a moment to nod at Soundwave and the usual crowd* Whirl: Well, you know where to find me if you need anything, yeah Teach? *tilts his head to an even further degree* B l u r r: / waves at Soundwave / B l u r r: / twitches finials/ Actually, we might need your help. B l u r r: [[ is Whirl comming Blurr right there? ]] FakeProwl: *nods to Soundwave* _Whirl: ((yes he was)) _Whirl: ((the "well, you know..." was out loud tho)) B l u r r: [[ ooh okay ] _Whirl: ((but the more personal stuff, he DID exercise a basic modicum of tact lol)) B l u r r: @Whirl: :: Don't worry about it. It's not so sensitive anymore... :: B l u r r: [[ heard! ]] _Whirl: *sits up a little straighter* Yeah? FINALLY time to go down and get wrecking? ItsyBitsySpyers: \\THERE'S WRECKIN'?\\ B l u r r: ... Yes, maybe. B l u r r: / waves to Shockwave/ The tables look fine. _Whirl: *he'll bob his head, but he manages, with no face and only one staring optic, to convey an expression that says, "Yeah, SURE."* Shockwave: *he nods and returns to his previously chosen seat.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy gets a running start and slides up to Blurr on his heel wheels with fingerguns pointed.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He then flops down and looks as interested as possible.* _Whirl: ((omfg frenzy)) _Whirl: ((his heelies will never not amuse me)) Shockwave: (( okay, okay, at some point we need to watch this movie consecutively after watching The Birds: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075620/ )) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Buzzsaw settles over near Shockwave, Laserbeak and Rumble with Whirl. Chimera and Laserbeak take the not-Prowl-occupied space on Soundwave's couch. Birds everywhere.* Shockwave: (( frenzy is beautifully extra, yes. )) ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Iacon progresses well? ItsyBitsySpyers: ((excuse me that should be Zori and Rumble)) FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Well enough, I suppose.» _Whirl: ((omg shockwave)) FakeProwl: ... *ping. pictures of New York City being rebuilt.* Shockwave: (( /chuckling. )) B l u r r: / shhh let him be in denial / _Whirl: *Zori will happily be helped up, and Rumble, if he requests it* _Whirl: *nope sorry Blurr Whirl's gonna be Real with ya& B l u r r: / waves at Frenzy / ItsyBitsySpyers: ((lmao excellent followup choice)) B l u r r: Anyway... it's a long thought out process. B l u r r: The whole... Earth thing. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Assistance ne-- Shockwave: *He nods a welcome* I understand you enthusiastically anticipate this cinematic experience? Shockwave: *To buzzsaw* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Files? Files! Is this New York City? Prowl already got them? He's gonna spend a minute flipping through them with interest* _Whirl: Well. _Whirl: *tilts head EVEN FURTHER. HIS NECK LOOKS BROKEN* You know what I can do. WILL do. Will ENJOY doing. ItsyBitsySpyers: }}It is to be savored. A cathartic experience.{{ ItsyBitsySpyers: }}...For me~{{ B l u r r: We might need air support. B l u r r: And you're the only flier I know who'd be perfect for that. B l u r r: [[ are people ready / everyone is here? ]] FakeProwl: *look, they fixed the statue of baldy the wolf-dog. ... that probably means nothing to Soundwave, who as far as Prowl can recall wasn't at that movie night. but Prowl's still pleased for them.* _Whirl: ((I am!)) _Whirl: I can give you air support, ground support, whatever kind of support you need. Shockwave: I see. So you have seen this one before? B l u r r: im willing to wait for anyone who isnt ready ]] _Whirl: Setting-Things-on-Fire Support. Exploding-Things Support. Squishing-All-of-Our-Foes Support. B l u r r: You have to look like one of them... one of those mechs. B l u r r: You have to change your look FakeProwl: ((i need like 2 minutes)) B l u r r: [[ okay! ]] B l u r r: [[ no problem! ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((i'm here when everyone's ready)) _Whirl: We can manage that, probbaly. I dunno... hmm. If their cross-dimensional scanner type still will work on me. _Whirl: *looks down at as much of himself as he can see, critically* I'll probably need to bulk my armor up a bit again. Shockwave: *so he's checking out his boobs pretty much?* _Whirl: But, let's be honest--I don't look a lot like mecha from my OWN dimension. Can't be too hard, fitting in. _Whirl: *basically. But he's also probably covered in minicons now* B l u r r: No, but I need you to at least blend in with their air support. B l u r r: Which means maybe a repaint? _Whirl: *or, one minicon and one used-to-be-mini-con* _Whirl: *shrugs* Hey, it's more work than I'm doing NOW. I don';t mind a re-fit. I can always swap back later. _Whirl: Will I need an Earth alt? B l u r r: Hmm... depends on if your alt blends in with theirs. _Whirl: *wiggles* One minute, you two. *and extricates himself from his hammock* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He has no idea what the canine is, no. It's a nice statue though... for a dog.* _Whirl: *steps back, into a clear space, and then shifts abruptly into alt-mode; he bobs neatly in the air before hitting the ground, but his rotors are kicking up a windstorm. A surprisingly quiet one* _Whirl: What's the verdict? *he looks like a goddamn spaceship, obviously. Whirl will blend in 0%* FakeProwl: ((ready!)) ItsyBitsySpyers: }}Oh yes. A favorite. Isn't that right?{{ B l u r r: / tilts helm and looks over Whirl/ Mm... no, you're going to have to change a little. ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Heh heh. Faaaaavorite.}} _Whirl: Why don't you toss me one of their frequencies? I can ask 'em what they need me to be, unless you got a model for me to look up. _Whirl: *continues just. HOVERING. He's an almost eerily quiet flier* B l u r r: I've got some images I've gathered. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\I WANT IN ON THIS SUPPORTIN'. HOW COME HE GOTTA CHANGE UP? IS THAT A THING?\\ B l u r r: / looks at Frenzy / Because Whirl won't blend in on Earth... not this kind of Earth _Whirl: Gotta blend in! We're trying not to tip these creeps off that there are multiple dimensions interacting here. _Whirl: Just ping them my way. starscream: this song is bad B l u r r: Plus, if they find out there are multiple universes, they might expand their search. Shockwave: *Clasps his hands as best as he can with only one hand and sits back. If the birds like The Birds, it'll at least provide insight into their tastes.* B l u r r: / vents and pings over images to Whirl / FakeProwl: *mainly though it's a mix of humans walking around construction zones and new buildings, with a few scenes of dealing with the still-remaining rubble* B l u r r: [[ okay you guys are ready then? ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((yep)) Shockwave: (( extremely ready.)) FakeProwl: ((yep)) B l u r r: [ k ] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave pings Prowl, finally finished with looking through these photographs. The speed at which humans do their rebuilding is - well, like Megatron once said. Humans. Resilient.* Shockwave: *acknowledges starscream's existence. even if he is a rash decepticon, he is still a decepticon* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Even if they haven't completely reworked it all, they're making impressive progress.* _Whirl: Got it! ..oh, hey, Hitchcock! Nice. Shockwave: *Oh man, those sure are the silhouettes of some birds.* _Whirl: I don't think I've seen this one. *raises up a bit so he can shift back, landing neatly and smoothly on  his many-jointed legs before carefully clambering back into the hammock* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Appreciated. Important progress record. What owed? FakeProwl: *prowl already hates the noises they make* B l u r r: Anyway, we have an actual job to do... B l u r r: On Earth, I mean. FakeProwl: *he'll give Soundwave the same request Arcee gave him* @Soundwave «Nothing right now. I'll let you know if I need images of anything similar later.» starscream: Their flight doesn't seem very effective.  They're slow. ItsyBitsySpyers: *An IOU? Very well. He nods.* ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Peh! You slow. Us good flighting.}} Crosscut: -quietly slips in- ItsyBitsySpyers: \\WHAT'S THE JOB? DO I GOTTA CHANGE UP IF I WANT IN? CAN I GET IN?\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: *Notices Crosscut.* starscream: ((Miner birds are awful)) ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Prowl wants seat shared? Soundwave moves over? B l u r r: / looks at Frenzy/ I don't know, Frenzy. Maybe not this job... but you can help me with something else if you want. starscream: ((great typing *myna)) B l u r r: I don't think Soundwave would let you on this job... ItsyBitsySpyers: *Laserbeak and Chimera can always perch on his arm.* FakeProwl: *didn't see Crosscut, doesn't understand the question* @Soundwave «I sat here, didn't I?» ItsyBitsySpyers: *Sour sulk. It sounded fun.* \\WHAT'S THE SOMETHIN' ELSE?\\ FakeProwl: *sees Crosscut. understands the question.* @Soundwave «... Ah. I'm fine now.» B l u r r: Well, I've got the key I needed. What do you say to coming with me to see what's behind the locked door. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Good. He was about to pass over room coordinates. He just nods* ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Get free! Leave!}} _Whirl: For the record, the way birds fly--flapping their wings, analogue flight--IS slower than a jet. But--*looks to Starscream* It's also some of the most INTERESTING flying I've ever done. Shockwave: Foiled by a hat. _Whirl: It's really something else. Fascinating flight dynamics. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\...DO I GET ANYTHING BEHIND IT?\\ starscream: Why would you want to fly that slowly? _Whirl: Maneuverability. Crosscut: ((I think i'm just gonna go.)) _Whirl: Also, it's just FUN. Shockwave: *He rests his helm on an arm.* starscream: I maneuver just fine at high speed _Whirl: Pfft. Keeping telling yourself that. Anyway, rotors are obviously the best, but analogue wings? Not bad, not bad. ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Not so fast as Bird!}} FakeProwl: *that man was obnoxious from beginning to end.* _Whirl: ((seeya, CC!)) FakeProwl: *they're probably going to end up dating and Prowl will be very annoyed.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Chimera spreads their wings and rustles the feather plates. One moment of pride for the least noticed.* B l u r r: I suppose I could share with you IF you behave, Frenzy. /smirks/ starscream: If this ends in romance I'm going to be disappointed ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy grins.* \\ME? I'M A SAINT.\\ starscream: ((the real question is why would someone want a myna bird, they're awful)) _Whirl: *swivels his halm around to nod at Chimera--he isn't sure if that was in response to his statements butit seemes like it was* _Whirl: *he "saw" you spreading them wings on the sonar, little dude* B l u r r: If you come with me, you become part of my crew. Which means you listen to me. ItsyBitsySpyers: *It was. Chimera is quite happy rn.* _Whirl: *well, Chimera has something to be proud of* _Whirl: *at least in this chopper's book* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Original question return. Assistance needed? Shockwave: *Ah, that driving greenscreen though.* Shockwave: *That's quite realistic looking.* Shockwave: *//sarcasm* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\I CAN DO THAT.\\ He fidgets. \\I MEAN, TH' BOSS GOT PRIORITY 'N ALL, BUT Y'KNOW. I COULD!\\ B l u r r: Well, I don't think I can take you to Earth. But after I'm done there, I'll take you with me to see what this key goes to. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy jumps up with a delighted yell and does a cartwheel before sitting down again.* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\KAY.\\ _Whirl: Yeah, no offense, Frenzy--but I don't think you'd blend in. _Whirl: It's gonna take some doing for ME to do it. ItsyBitsySpyers: }}Less bipeds. More birds.{{ B l u r r: The plan is simple, but I'm sure we'll face complications. starscream: She's going a long way out of her way for a pest FakeProwl: *and now SHE'S being onoixous. who stalks somebody just to passive-aggressively give him birds.* _Whirl: Yeah, can't say I'm enthusiastic about this pair yet. Romance, in my experience, isn't Hitchcok's strong suit. _Whirl: We should watch North by Northwest in Culture Club sometime. Shockwave: *This must be like trying to watch bayverse movies for laserbeak and buzzsaw.* starscream: Romance is boring, no matter who writes it B l u r r: This isn't even romance. B l u r r: this is boring. _Whirl: It can be nice enough, if done properly. _Whirl: But usually people just sort of... shove it in there, with no work. Or use it as a metaphor while not bothering to make the actual romance APPEALING. _Whirl: Even good movies suffer THAT flaw. starscream: If they start eating each other's faces I'm leaving B l u r r: If they start eating each other, THEN it's romance. _Whirl: *snrks* What? eating faces off ISN'T courtship where you come from? *looks to Starscream with a round, surprised optic* Shockwave: Wouldn't cannibalism finally make it a horror film, or do humans find that acceptible? Shockwave: ((*acceptable)) B l u r r: Humans don't find much acceptable. That's why they're humans. starscream: I'm talking about kissing, obviously ItsyBitsySpyers: *Prowl's never heard of giving someone the bird before?* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[What is North by Northwest?]] _Whirl: Another Hitchcock Film. Probably my favorite. _Whirl: Also, oh, yes. Kissing. The warm-up tier before you start gnawing your true love's face off. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[And cannibalism is frowned upon by most species.]] _Whirl: Weak stuff. B l u r r: Is it? How boring. _Whirl: These two have more chemistry than the other two. starscream: Courtship could probably be improved by murder.  At least it wouldn't be so boring that way. _Whirl: Murdering together? As a couple? Probably. B l u r r: It's fantastic... FakeProwl: I may put in North by Northwest for my next Culture Club suggestion. FakeProwl: I haven't seen it, but I have faith in the quality of Hitchcock's work. _Whirl: No pressure, co-president. *dryly* But I always enjoyed it. It's... not quite a comedy, but it's a sort of light take on a spy thriller. starscream: Either way.  I'm never dealing with courtship though, so I don't have to worry about the details. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Little perk up. That sounds like his jam.* B l u r r: Or day. B l u r r: Murdering together as a couple is the best... way to spend a night. _Whirl: Well, of course YOU'RE not. You're Starscream. FakeProwl: No, it's on my list of films to watch anyway. That would be convenient. starscream: I wouldn't, even if I had an offer starscream: It's inconvenient _Whirl: And let's be honest--who would offer? You're Starscream. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Heh heh heh.// starscream: Not looking for offers Shockwave: (( which universe is your starscream from? )) starscream: ((armada, i switch though)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He would appreciate the selection. We do not see enough of that genre.]] _Whirl: ((gotcha)) _Whirl: Well! I think neither of you will be disappointed, then! Shockwave: (( have not seen armada, but cool. )) _Whirl: Rodimus has next pick, but after that, you can go. _Whirl: And, Teach--you should swing by Culture Club sometime! B l u r r: Hm? FakeProwl: ((the one prowl was helping rescue. btw what happened on that thread? did y'all need me to jump back in, or is it one of y'all's turn?)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Prowl is getting something for using his film choice on that. Soundwave doesn't know what, but something.* starscream: ((Tarantulas' turn)) starscream: ((yeah, that's me)) FakeProwl: ((o7 want me to remind her?)) _Whirl: *sighs* I've had enough of this nonsense. Can the birds please start eating everyone now? ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Bird already has snacks.}} ItsyBitsySpyers: *She waves a few rust sticks in one feeler claw* _Whirl: *snickers* Well, if this keeps up much longer, then you're gonna hafta devour me. _Whirl: Out of mercy. ItsyBitsySpyers: =Promise?= ItsyBitsySpyers: *A dark rumble-laugh from Ravage* starscream: ((I'm just worried that they've been too busy to reply)) _Whirl: No promises for YOU. *eyes Ravage slyly* B l u r r: Don't worry ,Ravage. _Whirl: Anyway, I mean, I guess you can eat me when I die--didn't I say so, if it meant that Piston wouldn't get my corpse? B l u r r: I have plenty of bodies you can chew on. _Whirl: I don't really care one way or the other. Toss my body i the trash, o soemthing. B l u r r: Piston is INTENT on having your frame. FakeProwl: (("young lady cut herself" bruh why don't you tell him the damn bird did it)) _Whirl: wHY!? _Whirl: He has so many to chooce from! FakeProwl: ((why you make it sound like she had an accident)) B l u r r: Because you made an impression. _Whirl: Well. ...okay, I'll grant that. I tend to leave those wherever I go. But, still. B l u r r: He talks about it a lot. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((seagulls eat trash. it's not polite to call your love interest garbage, however mismatched)) _Whirl: Aside form bing weird-looking, there's not... a lot going on. I'm not an outlier, or anything. _Whirl: ...*pauses and peers* O, okay. I see. NOW I see. Har har, very funny. B l u r r: Don't ask me, he's the one that wants the frame. Do you want me to call him in here? B l u r r: He'll answer all your questions. Shockwave: (( she's starting to sound quite obsessive. )) _Whirl: *snorts* Nah, I don't wanna disrupt the film. _Whirl: * but he is now Highly Skeptical. Clearly, this is a prank* Shockwave: (( are we sure the TRUE HORROR of htis film isn't human infatuation? )) Shockwave: (( *this)) B l u r r: / smirks and shrugs/ If you choose to talk to him later, go ahead. starscream: ((it definitely is)) Shockwave: (( Trus this movie to be an especially introspective flick. )) _Whirl: *snorts softly through his vents but doesn't remark further* _Whirl: ((also, starscream--are u the same one that comes to prime nights?)) starscream: ((sometimes)) _Whirl: ((if not, then Whirl might not have been quite so rude to him--that Starscream has needled Whirl a lot in the past)) _Whirl: See? They would make a much more interesting couple. starscream: ((yes he has, that would be mine)) _Whirl: ((OKAY, gotcha 8) then... yes if this is the same one, carry on. I just had a moment of "OH NO WAS I MEAN TO A NEW PERSON FOR..... NO REASON" lmao)) B l u r r: ... That looks like a house you can murder someone in. B l u r r: / smirk / starscream: ((used to that reaction anyway, starscream's awful)) _Whirl: Blurr. I bet you say that about EVERY house. B l u r r: That is absolutely untrue. B l u r r: Drift's house doesn't look like a house you can murder in. B l u r r: My house, however, is definitely a place for murder and slaughter. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\YOU JUS' AIN'T TRYIN' HARD ENOUGH.\\ Shockwave: (( i may have to leave immediately after the movie ends, as it is Late.)) starscream: only Drift's? B l u r r: [[ aww, okay ]] B l u r r: Dodge designed Drift's house without ill intent involved. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((noted)) Shockwave: (( i told my mom i was watching The Birds, and she immediately chastised me. )) Shockwave: (( Apparently this movie gives my grandmother nightmares. )) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((your poor grandma D:)) starscream: ((how?)) Shockwave: (( she's still afraid of large flocks of birds to this day. )) B l u r r: [[ yo ive been attacked by a bird ]] Shockwave: (( i don't know, old people logic isn't my logic. )) starscream: ((i haven't seen this movie before)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((i've met a lot of older people who are wigged out by bird flocks cuz of this film)) _Whirl: *snickers* Clever kid, Shockwave: (( neither have i.)) _Whirl: And, okay. Fair. FakeProwl: ((I've seen it... two times? three?)) B l u r r: BUT. Every house can be a house of murder if you try hard enough. _Whirl: THAT's more like the Teach I know. B l u r r: K-Kyehheeheh. _Whirl: *gasps* Oh, no. Guys. I'm so sorry. _Whirl: I just realized... how scandalous. _Whirl: I'm naked right now. Shockwave: ...You haven't removed your plating. _Whirl: ...of course not? Then I'd be, like. Partially dissected. B l u r r: I can remove limbs if you'd like. B l u r r: My body is mostly knives and sharp edges. I'm ready. Shockwave: ..... *returns to the movie.* _Whirl: Nah, someone just get me a sock or a hat so I can have some clothes. FakeProwl: *gets out of his seat* FakeProwl: *walks over to whirl* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave looks up, confused. What did he do?* _Whirl: *raises his head and regards Prowl solemnly* FakeProwl: *offers him: a holomatter avatar of a shamwow* _Whirl: Are you here to arrest me. FakeProwl: I'm here to make you decent. _Whirl: *reaches up and gently takes it. Then drapes it over his head* At LAST. FakeProwl: *returns to his seat* ItsyBitsySpyers: [][][]Master has given Dobby a sock.[][][] _Whirl: *raises his head proudly* Prowl has done us all a great service, this night. _Whirl: *LAUGHS* Shockwave: (( I'm fuckign )) _Whirl: Anyway. See? Much more chemistry. I'm telling you. It could've been a great twist--the film sets things up like the obvious couple's gonna be the couple, yeah? FakeProwl: *puzzled look. he doesn't understand the reference* _Whirl: But then these two team up when the crisis hits and they hit it off. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh. Okay, he can fix that. He doesn't want Prowl to be confused.* B l u r r: Meeting mother figures is obnoxiously drawn out starscream: Sort of hoping they all die instead B l u r r: There are so many questions starscream: Before the romance gets any worse ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Human movie dialogue. Context: Magical creature servant given no comforts freed if clothing given. Accidental sock delivery freed creature. _Whirl: Luckily, I don;t have one of those. ...unless you count Vector Sigma. _Whirl: I guess that's technically my mother. Shockwave: (( Does this movie pass the bechdel test??)) ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Reference not claim Prowl keeps servants; sock-shamwow focus only. B l u r r: Me neither. We're recycled. Shockwave: Being that this is film is of the horror genre, that is still a potential outcome. _Whirl: I wish it was, but I doubt it. FakeProwl: ((i don't think the love interest talking to the sister counts, since she's probably trying to set up her brother with him)) FakeProwl: ((**her brother with her)) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[We were originally created by the Well.]] A pause. [[Chimera has a creator, however.]] B l u r r: We weren't created, but recycled by Terminus. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave reaches over and gives the odd bird a gentle scratch on its spine. Chimera wriggles happily.* Shockwave: (( how much time does this movie have left? )) _Whirl: Really? *swivels his helm around, curious* Who made you? starscream: *isn't joining the conversation on creation* ItsyBitsySpyers: <<Chimera's creator is Shockwave!>> Happy chirp. _Whirl: Oh, yeah? The same one who comes by? The worm guy? FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I see.» ItsyBitsySpyers: <<Yes!>> No. _Whirl: Neat. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Terminus again?]] _Whirl: I guess he decided the geriatric squad needed a second babysitter. *sly look at Soundwave, Ravage, and the birds* starscream: ((seriously why a myna bird)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ravage closes his optics and looks away. He ain't acknowledgin' your rudenes.* _Whirl: *GRANDPA RAVAGE* Shockwave: *his attention was caught at the sound of his designation, looking behind at the conversation taking place, only to find that they were speaking of the alternate who frequents these showings.* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Well, I'm not terribly into being called master. But I'll make an exception.» Shockwave: *still, he catalogues that little piece of data.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Laserbeak and Buzzsaw shiver with glee. Here it goes.* _Whirl: ....*looks back to the screen. At last. ...ALREADY SNICKERING* Shockwave: *ah! so the birds finally arrive.* B l u r r: [[ also the movie has 53 minutes left ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave goes slightly rigid. He wasn't expecting that. It takes him a second to figure out how to respond.* B l u r r: What do you mean 'again'? _Whirl: This. Is hilarious. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[You mentioned Terminus before in passing.]] starscream: I'm pretty sure humans could kill those if they stopped scaring them away ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): ...What preferred? B l u r r: Ah, yes. Well, it is where we come from. B l u r r: See, we don't have a Primus or All Spark. FakeProwl: *ah. at last. leans forward, focusing on the movie, looking for clues about what's causing these unusual attacks* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «My name.» ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh thank Primus. He wasn't sure what he would do if Prowl said something worse here.* ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Keheheh!}} _Whirl: *laughs* Shockwave: (( 50+ minutes? gah. that's quite a bit.)) _Whirl: *JUST. CRACKING UP* ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Special delivery!}} starscream: Those are definitely small enough for humans to be able to kill B l u r r: [[ no, wait. It's about halfway. ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Ah. Then your figure is called that?]] _Whirl: LOOK AT THEM. THEY'RE LIKE BIG BUGS. B l u r r: Figure? starscream: What's wrong with these people, squash them _Whirl: This is HILARIOUS. FakeProwl: *the first one was when she was on the boat. one bird. the second was when she was at the other lady's home. one bird.* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Prowl's preference logged. Shockwave: *He now understands why laserbeak and buzzsaw enjoy this now.* FakeProwl: *the third was right after her conversation with the man, and the mother came out to see them.* FakeProwl: *the fourth was when they were talking about her staying the night* Shockwave: (( okay, presumably older people: should i leave in about 20 minutes or make it to the end? )) _Whirl: Look, they can't even fly into walls without dying! B l u r r: / kicks pedes up and lays out on his couch/ How odd... _Whirl: I'll bet the schoolteacher is already dead. B l u r r: Humans are afraid of the most idiotic things. starscream: Surely humans are strong enough to kill the smaller ones at least FakeProwl: *the species are different, but attack in flocks. unlikely to be disease, as they specifically hunt out targets to attack.* _Whirl: After all, she already served her BORING purpose: dumping exposition for the romance. B l u r r: [[ tbh there are about 60 minutes left ]] _Whirl: ((I'd say, that's up to you, shockwave! I've never seen this)) FakeProwl: *all known incidents seem to surround this one woman. that may not remain true— ah. apparently no longer true.* Shockwave: (( /hmmmmmm./ )) ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Them suicide bombers.}} starscream: How did they kill him, surely losing their eyes won't kill a human immediately? B l u r r: Mmm... ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Them bird many more than human. Two, three not big sad loss.}} B l u r r: / scrubs claw down face / Sometimes it can . Shockwave: (( depends on how deep the cut goes, it could penetrate to the brain. )) Shockwave: (( unlikely in this case, still viable in general. )) _Whirl: They probably burrowed past there into the processor. B l u r r: / makes a noise and sinks into his couch / _Whirl: ...*ah, ***, he fucced up again* B l u r r: / kicks a leg out to lay better. There. / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy pats the leg.* _Whirl: B ut it doesn't matter--it's still ridiculous. They're so small, you could just swat em and kill them. B l u r r: / twitches pede / starscream: how close are human's eyes to their processors?  No barrier between them? _Whirl: Dunno. Doesn't matter--it's just a movie. Shockwave: *He tilts his head for a moment. Heavily considering asking someone here to retrieve one for him for dissection.* ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Them many, MANY more. Human can't punch all bird.}} _Whirl: *busies himself with checking on Zori; he usually doesn't like horror films. How's he holding up? Awake?* Shockwave: *In this case, a dissection would actually be quite useful, seeing as humans have aligned themself with the enemy.* _Whirl: Yeah, I guess being squishy makes it more dangerous. I mean, I can see fearing someting... like. Microscopic. How do you fight that? You can't. _Whirl: Bu something big enough to hit is just... a nuisance. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Zori has his claw over his optic after seeing the human without them but he's holding on.* FakeProwl: *emotional dependency. Ugh* B l u r r: They could use a tennis racket. Or a baseball bat. ItsyBitsySpyers: *They could probably find a bird for Shockwave next time they crept down to Earth.* _Whirl: *gently rests his claw on Zori's back; he would offer him a hiding place if Zori wasn't so huge* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He'd have to ask though.* starscream: ((I thought that said basketball bat for a moment and I was very confused)) B l u r r: [[ well i mean if u try hard enough it could be a basketball bat ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Is the older one trying to get her killed?]] Shockwave: *He'll probably ask after the movie, but he would find having a human to dissect to be more beneficial* _Whirl: Oh, guess she's not dead yet. _Whirl: But I bet she's not gonna last much longer. FakeProwl: It's possible. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Zori whistles and carefully - CAREFULLY - pats the claw with the side of his stinger.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *No acid.* _Whirl: *Probably for the best. Whirl woul;dn't feel it but getting a new claw made would be a pain* Heh. What's that translate too, Professor? starscream: They need some cats _Whirl: The real horror is this damn song. B l u r r: It's meant to assist in memorization ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ravage looks at Starscream. That's the first sensible thing he's said all night* _Whirl: It's still awful, ugh. FakeProwl: ((i love how they keep cutting back and there are more birds)) B l u r r: It's a good tool to use, though. ItsyBitsySpyers: }}Do you know what Earthlings call groups of crows?{{ _Whirl: At last, we're released. B l u r r: Oh Oh I know this one! _Whirl: No, what? B l u r r: Pick me!! B l u r r: / waves claw / ItsyBitsySpyers: }}Yes. Blurr?{{ B l u r r: They call it a murder! K-KYAHAHA! / kicks a pede out again / FakeProwl: ... Appropriate. _Whirl: Quick thinking. ItsyBitsySpyers: }}Isn't it!{{ _Whirl: And, yeah--that's cool. B l u r r: ... If they had just walked, they wouldn't have brought attention. _Whirl: *LAUGHING AGAIN* Shockwave: (( Why are the birds pulling at their hair instead of going for the eyes? )) starscream: wring it's neck ItsyBitsySpyers: *The twins swoop and soar around the room, cackling to themselves* Shockwave: *There goes shockwave's sitting partner.* starscream: she literally had the bird in her hand and didn't kill it ItsyBitsySpyers: *He'll be back in a moment.* _Whirl: *pulls his holo-sham-wow over his eye, making exaggerated sounds of mock-horror* _Whirl: The birds!! Shockwave: *Those certainly were some Birds.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Laserbeak perches on Whirl and waves her feelers around* _Whirl: I'm done for. _Whirl: Just eat all of me, okay, Laserbeak? _Whirl: *peeks out from under his shamwow to regard her solemnly* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Lightly pinches Whirl's head with feeler claws* Shockwave: (( /kinkshaming whirl )) ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Om nom!}} _Whirl: ((PFFT)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((omg)) Shockwave: (( bird vore. sounds niche. )) _Whirl: Truly, this is the most excrutiating way to die. *he does not bat her off his head* _Whirl: ((OHO OUTDATED SCIENCE, corivids are ABSOLUTELY SMART ENOUGH FOR THAT)) ItsyBitsySpyers: {{You get tennis racket and Bird zaps.}} FakeProwl: ((corvids are smart cookies)) B l u r r: [[ that's me ]] _Whirl: All I have to defend myself is my... thing that Prowl gave me. But then I'll be naked. starscream: ((pretty sure she doesn't know what she's talking about)) _Whirl: ...also, you can zap? ItsyBitsySpyers: *She lifts her feeler up. Crackle crackle. She can zap.* _Whirl: Huh. Neat! _Whirl: How hard? _Whirl: Could you knock me clean out? ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Bird dropped big big Prime~}} FakeProwl: *so whirl is into being eaten by birds and treating giant fliers like footrests. good to know.* B l u r r: I'd like to drop a big big prime /mumbling/ ItsyBitsySpyers: \\GROSS.\\ B l u r r: He'd be ang-rrry. _Whirl: Give me a test zap. Not on the head, though. ... _Whirl: *LAUGHS AGAIN, swiveling his helm towards Blurr* I bet you WOULD. Still willing to help you, with that. *cheeky look; he's a good wingman* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Laserbeak's feeler wiggles uncertainly* Shockwave: (( he's also apparently into being zapped. )) _Whirl: ((when will the roller coaster end)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *She's not sure she's allowed to do that here.* Shockwave: (( i mean, whirl being kinky shouldn't be a surprise to anyone, really. )) B l u r r: Help me with what- dropping a Prime?I _Whirl: ((the funny thing is: he isn't. At least not yet. He's woefully inexperienced. But I am not saying he can't learn to enjo some form of... most of these things)) B l u r r: ... I'm not looking to anger him. Yet. _Whirl: ((but he doesn't know that yet)) _Whirl: Help you getting stepped on by that Prime. _Whirl: I know you want him to. *EVEN SLYER LOOK* B l u r r: ... Ah, yes. /hums/ Shockwave: (( oh man he needs to go on a *sexual journey of self discovery* )) B l u r r: He'd crush half of my internal workings with one stomp... B l u r r: / covers face with claw / ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Bird arrested if Whirl zapped?}} _Whirl: ((just one long horrific music montage of getting zapped and bitten and putting his feet on people)) _Whirl: *snickers again, and then looks back to Laserbeak, then to Blurr* Hey, Blurr, can she zap me a litle? I'm just curious. Shockwave: (( what music would be playing in the background? )) FakeProwl: ((and gently wafting over it all is the scent of pinesol)) B l u r r: ... I don't care? _Whirl: ((god. PINESOL I FORGOT ABOUT THE DAMN PINE SOL. also: Yakkety Sax)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave flicks a servo. If the others don't have a problem, neither does he. It'll teach them not to doubt his deployers.* Shockwave: (( PFF)) _Whirl: ((that or the Goon's cover of Unchained Melody)) starscream: Birds usually make a lot of noise, how do these people who presumably are on the alert not hear them coming every time _Whirl: All right! Okay. Hit m--wait, will Zori and Rumble get it, too? _Whirl: Shoudl I get up? ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yeah, don't get us toasted. C'mon, Bug.// _Whirl: ((FOR THE RECORD IM LISTENING TO THAT NOW OVER THIS AND IT'S MAKING THIS HILARIOUS(( starscream: genius B l u r r: Wow. The birds are better arsonists than Nos. Shockwave: (( /SNORTS)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble hops down and motions to Zori to follow him. Bug does.* Shockwave: (( that's just hilariously stupid. and the birds planned this?? )) ItsyBitsySpyers: //All clear!// starscream: ((smoking kills)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *She floats up off Whirl so as not to knock herself out too, sticks both claws on his back, and gives him a half-level jolt. Which is to say she -shocks him like hell-.* FakeProwl: ... That was unlikely to be planned. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\THEY'RE RUNNIN' WITH IT THOUGH, AIN'T THEY?\\ Shockwave: *did buzzsaw ever return to his seat? * ItsyBitsySpyers: *Yes! Yes he did. Sorry.* Shockwave: *Shockwave welcomes him.* starscream: Yeah I think their only target was the guy they attacked at the pump FakeProwl: Even if we're to believe that the birds are intelligent and malevolent enough to have caused the gas spill, they couldn't have predicted the match. _Whirl: *he sits up eagerly right before she jolts him and JERKS LIKE ANYONE WHO JUST GOT THE HELL ELECTROCUTED OUT OF THEM WOULD, optic flashing and a startled burst fo feedback BLARTing out of his vocoder* _Whirl: Hhhhot damn! HA! _Whirl: Not bad! *gives a little wheezing laugh* That;'s pretty wicked. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It can be worse.]] FakeProwl: It seems likely to me, then, that we're— *wtf was that noise, whirl* _Whirl: *don't worry it wasn't a Chriograph moment* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Bird giggles. That was a great reaction.* FakeProwl: ... that we're supposed to believe this event is supernatural in origin. B l u r r: / snort / starscream: Wouldn't they have attacked in her usual city if it was her? FakeProwl: If we weren't supposed to believe that, then they would have depicted, for instance, a bird diving at the man to cause him to start the fire. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He doesn't understand why a supernatural force would opt for birds. Surely insects would be worse.]] Shockwave: *oh that blood looked VERY REAL right there.* _Whirl: *his involuntary noises are very strange, as he has non-standard vocalizer* Damn respectable, laserbeak. *nods to her* _Whirl: ...and, yep. Figured this would happen. ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Whirl should feel whole thing.}} _Whirl: *nods; Laserbeak. He is absolutely willing* starscream: get back inside idiots, the dead can wait til the birds leave _Whirl: *did you guys forget he chugged that entire cube of Gaugebuster WHILE HE COULD TASTE IT. Whirl loves this kind of stuff* ItsyBitsySpyers: *All right, well. Don't say they didn't warn him.* starscream: go inside ItsyBitsySpyers: *Eat electricity, Whirl.* FakeProwl: *covers audials* _Whirl: *shifts and sits up* If you th--*WELP HE'S ZAPPED* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[How many days have passed in this town?]] _Whirl: *Sorry everyone with sensitive audials another poorly-synthesized wail warbles right out of his vocalizer--it sounds, birefly, like a Casio keyboard IN PAIN* Shockwave: *but to what extent would a cybertronian find electricity to be painful?* _Whirl: *followed by another wheezing vent, and Whirl shaking his head to clear it, after a few moments that breathless laughing can be heard, softly, and he rasps* Nice. _Whirl: I think you very nearly knocked me out, bird. Shockwave: *in any case, shockwave's audials /are/ sensitive, and he immediately shoves one side into the couch to block some of the noise out.* FakeProwl: *mr sensitive audials here appreciates the apology, but at least he was prepared* FakeProwl: *... in hindsight, since he's a holomatter, he could've just cut his own audio feed, but whatever* _Whirl: *snorts again, loudly, and shakes his head. He seems a little bit dazed but all right* You know what? That was more fun than this movie has been. B l u r r: / Velocity is louder at times- he's used to these noises / B l u r r: / maybe not exactly that sound, but the volume / _Whirl: I like Hitchcock but this is a stinker. Shockwave: *immediately after this and a good recharge, goddamnit, he's going to develop some dampeners for these excursions.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *She's slightly disappointed he didn't pass out like Optimus did, but she flutters with pride anyway* _Whirl: *son';t worry, Shockwave, Whirl isn't usually this dang loud; and don't feel bad, Laserbeak. Whirl is hard to put down. VERY hard* starscream: Kill the lovebirds ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl, Shockwave: [[His apologies. She gets few moments to shine.]] B l u r r: Look, just do me a favor. Don't run into any power lines on Earth. /scoffs / starscream: how have they not already done that _Whirl: ((the faces of true killers)) FakeProwl: *small nod* Shockwave: @Soundwave: Apology accepted. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\THAT'S HOW COME YA SHOULDA LET ME GO. I'M TOO SHORT FOR DUMB OL' POWER LINES.\\ _Whirl: *flops back, stretching on his hammck* Thanks, mech. That's a neat trick. Definitely damn useful in a fight. *raises one arm and clicks a claw, a touch sluggishly* I think it's dapmened my reflexes-- ItsyBitsySpyers: \\BUT I'M GOOD WIT' THE DOOR. GONNA FIND ME SOME COOL SCRAP!\\ Shockwave: @Soundwave: So sounds of such amplitude are not so common? starscream: Like you need worse reflexes than you already have B l u r r: / snort / I would take you to Earth, but I don't know if you'd be cleared for that. _Whirl: --a bit. Damn useful if you're trying to take out someone bigger. *of COURSE he's gonna analyze the combat potential of that right after he gets hit with it* Okay. Hammock's safe. Everyone can pile-- ItsyBitsySpyers: [[No. He is not.]] _Whirl: -back in. ...pfft. *looks to Starscream* My reflexes are perfectly fine, actually. Dunno who told you different. B l u r r: You see? Soundwave said no. /pouts a little/ But you can come with me to see the door. starscream: Go kill the birds B l u r r: The Quintessons were responsible for the door, I hear. ItsyBitsySpyers: //They ain't shut the damn chimbley?// ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockwave: [[Negative. Most guests are not electrocuted in public.]] Shockwave: *Yeesh these bird noises are loud.* ItsyBitsySpyers: //What for they think doors 'n stuff's gonna stop birds? Ain't they hearda woodpeckers?// _Whirl: OR the windows? Shockwave: @Soundwave: Reassuring. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble helps Zori climb back up before hopping onto Whirl's legs* _Whirl: *will also lend his assistance if it is needed before settling in* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\QUINTESSONS? THEM WIGGLY FACE ALIENS?\\ _Whirl: *Laserbeak is free to leave, or stay, if she wishes* B l u r r: Yep, those are the ones. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\THEY AIN'T RIDIN' AROUND IN ME. I'LL FEED 'EM THEIR OWN LEGS.\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: *She'll stay. She earned this perch.* B l u r r: K-Kyeheheheh. Well, good. If we encounter any, we'll kill them. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Buzzsaw is being a much better guest. He hasn't shocked Shockwave at all.* _Whirl: *she is certainly welcome to; Whirl is probably alreadycovered by a Lot of Scorpion. He has perchable places on his anatomy* _Whirl: *excuse you the shocking is a PLUS* Shockwave: *And /his/ name is already partially electricity themed.* Shockwave: *shockwave would prefer to not be shocked, at this point in time.* B l u r r: Besides, anything the Quintessons locked up is bound to be valuable. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\DAMN STRAIGHT.\\ B l u r r: But first, I have to hand deliver a few Wreckers to their boss. _Whirl: *LAUGHS* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Go through the fraggin' door, lady.// _Whirl: It's RIGHT THERE. B l u r r: [[ this scene always bothered me when i found out he didn't tell her he was gonna throw real birds at her and then did ]] FakeProwl: *wreckers boss? quietly listens in on blurr's conversation* starscream: ((Isn't this the scene where the actress almost lost an eye)) B l u r r: [[ yeah ]] FakeProwl: ((wow really? rude)) Shockwave: (( >8/ )) _Whirl: ((not surprised, it was hitchcock--he was an ***)) B l u r r: [[ a real bird got close to her eye when they threw it ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: \\WHAT WRECKERS?\\ B l u r r: [[ He said he wouldn't use real birds and then told his assistants to throw real birds at her ]] _Whirl: *blinks and also looks over, curious* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((damn rude hitchcock)) B l u r r: [[ not ALL of them are real, but some are ]] starscream: ((he did that a lot)) B l u r r: [ indeed ] Shockwave: (( 20 minutes left? )) starscream: ((told the actors one thing, did something else, usually more dangerous instead)) B l u r r: Look, I saved the morons, so I may as well... B l u r r: I may as well take them all the way back. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\YA ACTUALLY GOT SOME LEFT?\\ B l u r r: [[ 9 minutes left ]] B l u r r: ... /dims optic at Frenzy/ Well. I don't... but I found some in another universe. _Whirl: Who leads the Wreckers, in that universe? Shockwave: (( oh good. )) B l u r r: Roadbuster said he didn't know if anyone was still alive. /tilts helm/ ItsyBitsySpyers: \\WHERE'S BACK? THAT GONNA TAKE A LONG TIME?\\ B l u r r: When I knew Roads, the leader of the Wreckers WAS Roads... But Leadfoot and Topspin worked along with him, so they answered to Optimus Prime on Earth. B l u r r: I'm not sure who Roads' superior was on Cybertron. Probably someone pompous like Ultra Magnus. FakeProwl: *none of those are wreckers that prowl cares about. tunes out of the conversation* B l u r r: / looks at Frenzy again/ ... I said I would take them back to Optimus Prime of Tyran. _Whirl: *Topspin! There's a name he rexognizes* So... Optimus leads them directly? *seems somewhat skeptical. It should be noted he's still wearing the sham-wow* B l u r r: No, Optimus is their leader now that... well, this Roadbuster was listening to Leadfoot. / vents/  Couldn't save that one. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): ...What strategy, movie situation? B l u r r: So, Roadbuster and Topspin came onto my ship and I... told them I would take them to Optimus Prime. _Whirl: *nods* Ah. Gotcha. Well. Of course. *sits up a bit, that sly look coming back into his optic* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He'd like to know what he ought to do if the entire flobster population ever loses its damn mind.* _Whirl: Of COURSE we gotta take them to Big O himself. B l u r r: ... What? B l u r r: / looks at Frenzy/ Er, I'm not sure how long it will take. FakeProwl: *hmm. sits forward and thinks* @Soundwave «On a macro or micro level?» ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Both. This never experienced. ItsyBitsySpyers: *The closest he could think of would be scraplets, but they'd attack the moment they noticed him.* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\...EH, I CAN WAIT. QUINTESSON SCRAP'S GOTTA BE GOOD.\\ B l u r r: / props his helm up with his elbow/ They used to work close with NEST, but I'm not sure where NEST went. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\PRIME BETTER PAY YA REAL GOOD THOUGH.\\ FakeProwl: @Soundwave «The first step needs to be discovering the amount of time in between attacks.» FakeProwl: *another long moment of thought* B l u r r: ... I hope he hits me with the end of that rifle fresh after a shot and it burns a permanent mark on me. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\PFFT.\\ FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... Then, get a flamethrower and a scuba tank.» _Whirl: *SNICKERS* _Whirl: All angry, right up there in your face? _Whirl: Want me to be super obnoxious so he gts nice and riled? B l u r r: In any case, I said I'd get them there safe. _Whirl: *he is a good wingman, Blurr* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave shakes with silent laughter.* B l u r r: ... what id he shoots you instead of me? B l u r r: *if _Whirl: Eh, I can take it, B l u r r: But /I/ want to take it. FakeProwl: *glad he appreciated that* B l u r r: / vents and moves to sit up/ In any case, Roadbuster and Topspin will need an escort, so that's us. I plan to get them there alive. starscream: Why are they taking birds with them?  How dumb are they _Whirl: Hmm. This will require some level of finesse, then... ItsyBitsySpyers: //...What if the birds is mad cuz them other birds is caged up?// _Whirl: I'll do my best. This is a... *prime* opportunity for you, after all. B l u r r: Not that they'll sit there and walk while we fight...- B l u r r: Wow. FakeProwl: The birds are caged and can serve as an early warning system. If the caged birds become agitated, they know to take shelter. _Whirl: *looks inordinately proud of himself for that one* B l u r r: / judgment, whirl / _Whirl: *STILL PROUD* _Whirl: Wow, what a stinker THAT was. ItsyBitsySpyers: //...Wha, that's it?// ItsyBitsySpyers: //They make it somewhere or not? Whattabout the rest of the world?// _Whirl: Hitchcock can do much, much better. FakeProwl: ... That's it? B l u r r: Still, you can't take humans lightly. starscream: So the answer is... B l u r r: They've taken out more than just a few mechs... starscream: From that performance I would say you can B l u r r: / grabs datapad and pulls up a roster. Turns it around to show Whirl/ Look at their list. ItsyBitsySpyers: }}No doubt they consumed all the humans.{{ starscream: They had birds in their hands and didn't kill them on multiple occasions _Whirl: I'm with Buzzsaw. I choose to believe they got eaten. ...*tilts head at datapad* Is this the humans' kill-list? Shockwave: @Soundwave: For confirmation: the creatures featured were nonfictional, nor are they extinct? ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockwave: [[The creatures displayed were real and remain alive.]] B l u r r: This is the list from the verse Roads was from. /taps screen/ Before they stopped it all. _Whirl: Hmm. ...do WE have a list? Yet? FakeProwl: I'd suspect that when they're holding one bird and another twenty are pecking them, their priority is not killing that one bird, but moving it away from their body as quickly as possible. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Shockwave: [[They gather. He does not know if they attack.]] FakeProwl: In order to move onto relocating the next twenty. B l u r r: For the verse I've dipped my claws into? _Whirl: Because I can guarantee you I can do better than THAT. *optic flickers as he shifts to to regard Blurr eagerly* B l u r r: / taps screen and brings up a new list / This is the new list. Optimus Prime is on top- the humans are going to want him first. Shockwave: *Even if the movie was a bit preposterous at times, he can appreciate that the creatures were real.* B l u r r: Which means not only do we need to watch out for Cemetery Wind humans, but Lockdown as well. starscream: ((interesting, the book seems to actually have the answer to what caused it)) B l u r r: / swipes screen/ Lockdown wants Optimus Prime, the humans want to catch Optimus for Lockdown - it's all some long, complicated plan. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((oh? what was it?)) FakeProwl: ((what was it in the book?)) starscream: ((not a very good one, but one anyway)) B l u r r: But, the humans get free parts if they kill all of the mechs they want to get there. B l u r r: [[ what is the book reason again? ]] _Whirl: *oh *** it';s that STUPID RIDICULOUSLY SEXY GUNFACE LOCKDOWN AIN'T IT* starscream: ((it has to do with the tides)) _Whirl: *GOD. DAMMIT.* Shockwave: There was talk earlier of speculation towards human anatomy. If anyone is willing to provide a sample, I may provide answers upon our next gathering? starscream: ((so just go out when the tide is at a safe point)) B l u r r: / YES WHIRL / Shockwave: *clearly just really wants to dissect something* FakeProwl: ((huh)) B l u r r: [[ weird ] FakeProwl: ((I had a film professor who theorized that the attacks came when the mom was feeling jealous about the new girl moving in on her son)) _Whirl: *GONA BE A SHAME TO OBLITERATE HIM BUT these things happen* Right. Well, I mean, we're... not working with any limitatuions, here? _Whirl: No "don't kill the humans" policy, right? Because if I don't have to worry about collateral, I can see this being a walk in the park. FakeProwl: ((which is why they could just walk out the door at the end—not because it was a safe phase, but because the mom is taking care of the girl and doesn't see her as a threat)) B l u r r: [[ the birds are ruining the romance that sucks anyway ]] B l u r r: /frowns/ I haven't talked to Roadbuster about that. I mean, we have... but, he seems intent on protecting the ones who are on their side. /taps screen and holds up images/ One Cade Yeager and his - B l u r r: daughter, Tessa Yeager. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave cannot assist Shockwave in finding a human, but perhaps Blurr and Whirl...?* FakeProwl: ((which is an interesting theory, but doesn't explain things like attacks at the school or in town)) _Whirl: *sighs* Seems like a dumb idea but, whatever, I'll humor them. Shockwave: Hm. Though an alive sample would be preferred, but something preserved but deceased would provide more information than nothing at all. B l u r r: [[ does the tide bring it inland? Maybe that's why? ]] B l u r r: / vents/ It's not our universe. At the end of the day, we get to walk away with absolutely, positively, no connections. None at all. FakeProwl: *quietly scowling at shockwave* B l u r r: / sounds like he's trying real hard / _Whirl: *Whirl's not going to deliver human remains to an active Decepticon, so no use asking him* starscream: ((In the book they eventually take over the whole world apparently)) _Whirl: Well, Blurr, I'm not from your universe. I'm not even from the universe I LIVE in, right now. Shockwave: (( good ending. )) FakeProwl: ((Planet of the Aves)) B l u r r: [[ good ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((LOL)) _Whirl: ...frankly, I don't really know WHERE I come from. Different universes doesn't mean anything. We can still roll with these guys when we're done. Might need to. B l u r r: / making a face / No. Impossible. B l u r r: Roadbuster and I have made it clear that we are not... friends. B l u r r: / they're in denial friends, tbh / Shockwave: @Blurr: *pings for attention.* _Whirl: *shrugs* Whatever. *Whirl hasn't seem them interact so he can't call Blurr out on his **** I'm not saying you gotta hold hands and sit around a campfire singing SONGS. B l u r r: !! @Shockwave: :: Yeeees?:: _Whirl: But sometimes you've gotta keep in touch. Seems like it might be useful. B l u r r: okay okay, fine.  Fine fine fine. /vent/ Even so... this is about delivering them from point A to point B. Shockwave: @Blurr: Is it possible for you to provide a live or well preserved human sample? B l u r r: @Shockwave: :: With pleasure! I can get you anything you want. :: _Whirl: *nods* Right. Escort mission. And we'll be fending off Cemetary Wind and possibly Lockdown. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave is having nothing to do with wherever Lockdown is. Lockdown means Galvatron. No.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy is definitely not going.* B l u r r: ... Can I trust you to fight Lockdown?  /smirks / B l u r r: / looks to Frenzy/ And you. I need you to help me out with this door. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\SAID I WAS GONNA, YEAH? DONE DEAL.\\ B l u r r: We might need to... break into a few places. I want the main treasure. You, Frenzy? You can have ANYTHING else. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\...FRAG, REALLY?\\ B l u r r: Of course. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Whooping noises* Shockwave: @Blurr: My thanks. Do you require compensation for such work? B l u r r: @Shockwave: :: If the human dies, that's compensation for me. :: B l u r r: I'll try to contact some old... / VENT/ Friends. from the Tyran I know. B l u r r: Maybe they can give us some supplies or tips. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Well, while the others aren't looking, he's sneaking a lean. He hasn't stolen many of them on the Lost Light lately.* _Whirl: *snorts* Of course I'll fight him. I'm not scared of some overconfident bounty hunter. B l u r r: Trust me, they're all like that, apparently. B l u r r: / taps his datapad/ Some should have their mouths sewn shut. _Whirl: And, breaking and entering, can do. B l u r r: / scrubs faceplate/ What am I supposed to tell Optimus Prime... B l u r r: "Hi, I found these, I think they're yours." _Whirl: I'll look into the list you sent me and get an alt-mode conversion in the works. ...PFFT. _Whirl: Okay, here's what you do. You're taking the chainsaw, right? B l u r r: Mine? _Whirl: Yes. B l u r r: Yes. Always. Shockwave: @Blurr:....Hm. Very well, then. You have my coordinates, yes? ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Disappearance cause visitor questions prepared when Prowl's stress: lower. B l u r r: @Shockwave: :: Yes, of course :: _Whirl: All right, good. So, you've got your chainsaw, and, hopefully, by this point you'll be covered in the energ--fluids. Whatever. f your enemies, yeah? maybe smoking a little. Just generally looking-- _Whirl: --like you walked through the Pit and the Pit could nopt contain you. That's key. Okay? Follow? B l u r r: ... Yes? _Whirl: Call his name, but before you get real close. Good effect. And when you're right in front of each other, shoulder your chainsaw--make sure it;s a smooth motion, maybe a little, like, cocky. Put your-- Shockwave: @Blurr: Then we have a deal. Thank you for hosting us tonight. B l u r r: @Shockwave: :: A pleasure, of course. LL _Whirl: --weight on one hip. Looks as confident as you possibly can and say--"I believe I have something that belongs to you." B l u r r: * :: ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Purpose: Threat assessment. Until then, postponed. _Whirl: Can't fail. B l u r r: ... /makes a face/ Uh...huh _Whirl: Trust me. It'll be awesome. Shockwave: *Alright it's late as *** so he's leaving, saying goodbye to anybody he considers a friend, and leaving.* B l u r r: Right.../vents/ B l u r r: / waves at Shockwave / Shockwave: (( g'night. )) _Whirl: ((night!)) starscream: ((night)) B l u r r: It's just a pity that I can't get into contact with any of the Autobots I used to know, aside from Jazz. B l u r r: We should just grab that moron and throw him at the humans... ItsyBitsySpyers: ((bye)) _Whirl: He's the one who made Zori all big, right? He might know a few tricks. B l u r r: [[ ni ni! ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Do not give Jazz to the humans.]] B l u r r: Mm. I believe so? I don't know. We don't talk as often. ItsyBitsySpyers: *He just said that. That came out of his mind. Primus.* B l u r r: / flicks finials/ Well , why not? _Whirl: We're not giving ANYONE to the humans. _Whirl: We're killing the humans. _Whirl: They picked a fight--they're the enemy now. B l u r r: They have ALWAYS been the enemy. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...He must be preserved. His timeline cannot afford to lose him.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *WHYYYYY* B l u r r: His timeline? He has no one LEFT in his timeline starscream: I thought Autobots usually aligned themselves with humans ItsyBitsySpyers: [[More can be created.]] B l u r r: ... /looks at datapad/ Except Optimus Prime of Tyran , who is currently MIA. Sideswipe, MIA. Mirage, MIA. _Whirl: *dryly* Those of us severed from our timelines don't necessarily consider ourselves useless, you know. ItsyBitsySpyers: //These ain'tcher normal humans, Screamer.// B l u r r: / vents and looks at Soundwave/ Just because he thinks he's a special night lite doesn't mean he gets to sit in the back. _Whirl: Yeah. these folks catch and dissect Cybertronians. I've run into... similar folks before. Humans are just another species of alien--they don't get special treatment when they pick fights. ItsyBitsySpyers: //They been pullin' us apart both sides 'n turnin' us into creepy fraggin' li'l slave machines.// B l u r r: ... Besides. /smirks/ Jazz has a lot of power. If I twist his arm the right way, he'll do me a few favors. FakeProwl: ((i disappeared, sorry. i went downstairs to use the fridge and i got offered an astrology reading.)) B l u r r: [[ the best fridgeventure ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[And if the humans get hold of him? Dissect him? Destroy him? Steal what he contains?]] starscream: ((not going to lie, that is a sentence I never thought I would hear)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((wb. soundwave is leaning on prowl and said he wanted to ask questions about the two needle nerds when prowl felt strong enough to handle it, for threat assessment purposes)) _Whirl: ((omfg)) B l u r r: I'd never let the humans TAKE him... B l u r r: Regardless, he IS still... he was nice to me. A few times. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((and soundwave is defending a jazz where everyone can hear and hating every second of it)) FakeProwl: @Soundwave «"Disappearance cause visitor questions"?» *he can't parse that phrase* B l u r r: [[ SOUNDWAVE WHY ]] B l u r r: [[ Jazz in the bg, wiping a tear ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): ...Two mnemosurgeons appeared. Prowl disappeared. _Whirl: He seemed nice enough to Zori. *that's reason enough for Whirl, apparently* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «There were two of them?» ItsyBitsySpyers: ((lemme check chat)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((please hold. i am pretty sure someone blabbed)) FakeProwl: *he only heard Chromedome before leaving* FakeProwl: ((yeah someone blabbed. but prowl only noticed one of them)) B l u r r: Well, if I could get in contact with Sideswipe, we'd have his swords. But, he's missing, too. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((okay yeah and that's the one soundwave got told to follow during host week. i'm good)) B l u r r: Last I heard from Jazz, no one is answering his calls except Scorponock. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Chromedome; "Nimbus"/Trepan, "masseuse" on space station. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... Chromedome is hanging out with Trepan again?» B l u r r: / taps datapad and leans back / Regardless, it looks like it's you, me, and the Wreckers. _Whirl: Well, if we can't get him, no big loss, I GUESS. B l u r r: It's more like a short loss.. B l u r r: / snicker / ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): What 'again'? Reminder: Soundwave not native. _Whirl: *sits up, optic glinting gleefully with the promise of mayhem. He is still wearing that damn sham-wow* Sounds like a hell of a party. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Contact me tomorrow, after my work shift. And if you should go somewhere Trepan is, watch your neck.» ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): ...Understood. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «And around Chromedome, of course. But Chromedome is an unconfirmed threat. Trepan is an active one.» B l u r r: / smirks and kicks a pede out/ Though, I want Optimus Prime of Tyran in my debt, I would rather deliver them to their real boss. B l u r r: It was unclear who it was... any guesses? B l u r r: I hope it wasn't Sentinel... he was a prime assshole. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Small visible plating puff. And they were all in the room with him unaware...* FakeProwl: *well, he should at least be aware of the danger of Chromedome* _Whirl: I... wouldn't be able to tell you anything, but I've never known the Wreckers to answer to a Prime, and if YOUR Sentinel was anything like OUR Sentinel... _Whirl: then he's. A dead mech walking. ItsyBitsySpyers: *No, no. They all, as in him and his minicons, around a mnemosurgeon who isn't necessarily limited to one more surgery before death* _Whirl: OUR Sentinel was just. *shakes his head* I can't talk about that guy right now. I want to keep my MOOD. B l u r r: My Sentinel is an idiot. Tyran's was a slagger. ItsyBitsySpyers: *His plating settles. He's good. He'll be sure none of his group go near those two.* B l u r r: / vents and just sits up more / Optimus Prime of Tyran /does/ have a destructive attitude. B l u r r: It wouldn't surprise me if they looked up to him.

Missed some.

_Whirl: It's very rare for a Wrecker to retire. B l u r r: Some shouldn't. B l u r r: /flexes claws / I don't know why I agreed to this. It's a pain.... annoying. FakeProwl: *it's so nice to be dating someone with humor standards low enough for Prowl to meet them* _Whirl: *shrugs again* _Whirl: I think I might. *he tilts his head and stares at Blurr; Roadbuster, he wagers, has a LOT to do with it. But he's not gona say that out loud* B l u r r: / vents and just looks back at him./ Oh, yeah? _Whirl: *he's also gonna finally remove his sham-wow* Well, prowl, I appreciate it, but at the end of the day, we all know the truth: I'll never be a decent mech. _Whirl: So I might as well be naked. B l u r r: /snort / FakeProwl: That's fine. The sham-wow was fake anyway. FakeProwl: *a sham sham-wow* _Whirl: It was a metaphor all along. _Whirl: For pretending to be a decent, polite person in company because that's whate everyone expects. ItsyBitsySpyers: //My optics! I'm blind!// _Whirl: *sagely nod as he drapes the sham-wow on Laserbeak's back. His gift to you for so generously electrocuting the shi t out of him* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble rolls off Whirl and twitches dramatically* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Request permitted? _Whirl: You're naked, too. _Whirl: Our first casualty. But, Rumble... *zoops his neck over the edge of the hammock* I've got bad news, pal. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Sits up.* //Sup?// FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Request permitted but response not guaranteed.» *depends on the request* B l u r r: / shifts and motions to Frenzy/ Look. This is the door. /shows him datapad/ It's not like a real door, but it blocks something vast. Isn't it awesome? ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Rest near Constructicons. Active threat, assailant association not trusted. Starscream's security: sham. ItsyBitsySpyers: *He's not asking you to sleep -with- them. Just... by them. For safety.* _Whirl: You're naked too. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... I sleep with them every night.» FakeProwl: *so we've got that covered.* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Good. Stay. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I intend to.» ItsyBitsySpyers: *And that means no running off to be across the house wiggling at Tarantulas* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Do your wiggling near them* FakeProwl: *there's a reason a Constructicon was lurking outside the door, and it's not because said Constructicon felt like watching.* ItsyBitsySpyers: //I ain't neither, sir, 'n I'm offended at your insinu-nations. I got more platin' than the Boss do.// _Whirl: *snorts and twitches his long, thin stabilizer fins for emphjasis* So do I. _Whirl: I've got plenty of PLATING. Just no clothes. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Small nudge against avatar. Thank you. He does not want to ping you and find out they've taken everything else.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *After all, he doesn't know enough about what's yours to rip it out of them afterward yet* ItsyBitsySpyers: //I got a tarp. That count?// ItsyBitsySpyers: ((OH WHOOP i missed a question from blurr hold on)) _Whirl: Well, you're not WEARING it, are you? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy belatedly snatches up the datapad and stares at it. He doesn't see anything doorlike.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *...He's looking at it upside down. There we go.* FakeProwl: *what does the nudge mean? is this like the hand-tapping thing that Ratchet did. nudges back.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Good.* FakeProwl: *good job prowl, Successful Social Interaction* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Boss! Tarp.// B l u r r: / snort / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave pauses to fish around in his side and pull out a folded heating tarp. He flicks it to Rumble, who drapes it on himself like a cape.* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Now what, smart-aft?// _Whirl: There ya go. _Whirl: Now, you're not naked. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Then I'm the classiest bot in this fraggin' room. Perverts.// ItsyBitsySpyers: \\...THIS GOTTA BE ONE BIG KEY.\\ _Whirl: Excuse you. *points to Laserbeak, who now has the holo sham-wow* B l u r r: It goes to a console on a command center floating around there, I think. B l u r r: Anyway... I have the key ItsyBitsySpyers: //That ain't real. It's fake clothin'. Bootlegger, bird.// ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Peh. It mine.}} _Whirl: It's good enough. FakeProwl: It's digital cothing, and therefore high-tech. Scorponock: ... [shuffles in to bring a few snacks ] FakeProwl: *don't u diss his fake sham-wow* _Whirl: *NUDGE NUDGE YOUR BUDDY'S HERE* _Whirl: ! *nudges Zori* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\BRING IT NEXT TIME, I WANNA S--YO, THE OTHER BUG!\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: #:O #my friend! B l u r r: / snort / Oh, there you are. I thought you were still hiding. He's been shy lately. ItsyBitsySpyers: *WHOMP Zori is off that hammock and scuttling over to pap his big bug buddy all over HI* B l u r r: I will bring it to show you next time, Frenzy Scorponock: [ chittering!!! ] Scorponock: [ clicks the claws and wiggles tail side to side ] Yeeez. I have come vizeeeet. _Whirl: *was quite prepared and is NOT dumped; he just sits up straighter and ajusts his balance, watching Zori with a subtle mixture of amusement and fondness* ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Bird's shamwow. Prowl can't have back, heh heh.}} ItsyBitsySpyers: *Flies around with it* _Whirl: ...*which he straightens into a neutral expression when he realizes he's making a face. ...well. Sort of. As much of a face as Whirl CAN* FakeProwl: You realize I can turn it off, right. ItsyBitsySpyers: {{No!}} ItsyBitsySpyers: {{Rude.}} ItsyBitsySpyers: #are you okay? #you have been gone a long time #yes #very long ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave caught that, Whirl.* Scorponock: Yeez. I am veeery okay. Been zeek _Whirl: *snickers* Looks like you'll have to get your own. *NO U DIDN'T* _Whirl: *DON'T LOOK AT ME* FakeProwl: I'll warn you before I leave, but it's going to be soon. ItsyBitsySpyers: #D: ItsyBitsySpyers: #you are not sick now? B l u r r: / shifts and looks back at his datapad/ When can you be ready to go, Whirl? Scorponock: No! Am no zeek anymore _Whirl: When d'you need me? I might need  aday or two to get my alt switched up, but otherwise... *shrugs* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Bird whistles and loops and - oh. Hmm. It didn't stay on. That's the trouble with clothes, she supposes.* _Whirl: We've been docked on Cybertron for ages. I'm not being useful back home at all. _Whirl: *so Laserbeak* You need a scarf. ...and a neck for the scarf. ItsyBitsySpyers: *She grabs it in a feeler and holds it out to Prowl. Here. It is a bad Autobot cloth anyway.* B l u r r: I'll have to talk to Roadbuster , but it might be a few days. ItsyBitsySpyers: #good #do not be sick more #only healthy #we missed you #:( _Whirl: All right! I'll get ready. *bob his head* FakeProwl: ... You don't have to give it back now, I'm not leaving for another couple of minutes. And it doesn't really need to be "given" anyway. ItsyBitsySpyers: {{And leg! Good leg.}} ItsyBitsySpyers: *In that case, it's HER bad Autobot cloth for another few minutes. She floats around dusting everyone's helms with it because try and stop her.* Scorponock: You meez me? FakeProwl: *have fun with your bad autobot cloth* ItsyBitsySpyers: #yes! FakeProwl: *... when it disappears, all the dust it mopped up is going to drift away. and probably into laserbeak's vents.\* _Whirl: Yeah! *neatly ducks as she tries to dust him, HAHA LASERBRAIN* The legs on that bird body I got were pretty great. ItsyBitsySpyers: *BAD AUTOBOT CLOTH* Scorponock: I meez you too, yeeez. _Whirl: If you think you might use the scans for an upgrade, let me know. I bet it'd be wicked. Scorponock: Been looking for Blacky. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[We are considering it.]] FakeProwl: *well maybe laserbeak shouldn't dusting things with imaginary fabric* _Whirl: Nice! ItsyBitsySpyers: *dirty dirty TRICK is what it is. see if she trusts Prowl and Whirl presents again* _Whirl: *excuse you he's innocent in all this* _Whirl: *aside from being shamefully naked* FakeProwl: *prowl didn't make her dust things* ItsyBitsySpyers: #I did not see him #only little helicopters Scorponock: Oh... [droopy scorpion ] ItsyBitsySpyers: *well what else was she supposed to do with it, eat it?* _Whirl: ((what if we find him on Earth)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((EEEEE)) B l u r r: [[ whirl he dead ]] _Whirl: ((whirl grabs him by the... robot lapels "Look here you little sh it. Your scorpion is worried about you. GO. HOME.")) B l u r r: [[ he's dEAD ]] _Whirl: ((well. ...i mean if we find his body I suppose, closure)) _Whirl: ((but I like shaking him by the robo lapels better)) B l u r r: [[ oh my god that would be so sAD ]] _Whirl: ((........soundwave have you ever wanted to have TWO SCORPIONS)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((HE CAN'T CARRY SCORPONOK)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((WHERE'S HE GONNA ATTACH? HIS EVERYWHERE?)) _Whirl: ((GET SHOCKWAVE TO MAKE HIM ABLE TO SHRINK, DUH)) FakeProwl: ((gigantic backpack)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((...okay but scorponok isn't made for that.)) B l u r r: [[ a scorpobackpack ]] _Whirl: ((Shockwave tho)) B l u r r: [[ HE IS BLACKOUTS SPINE I MEAN ]] _Whirl: ((he can do anything)) B l u r r: [[ well he comes from his spine ]] FakeProwl: ((like those "skinny white nerd going on a camping trip and overpreparing" backpacks)) _Whirl: ((and if he is Very Small, maybe one day he, too, will be granted the right of hiidng in whrl's cockpit from Movies That Unsettle Him)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((well then why doesn't he get very small and whirl can have him)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((skip the middleman)) _Whirl: ((Whirl is not a carrier)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((lmao puff soundwave is top heavy enough)) FakeProwl: ((second suggestion: replace ratbat. ENORMOUS FANNY PACK)) B l u r r: LOL ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((NO)) _Whirl: ((Scorponok can be a triple changer and just turn into a scorp-gun)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((THIS IS NOT THE SOLUTION TO HIS AFTLESSNESS)) _Whirl: ((attched to a shoulder mount)) _Whirl: ((....actually y'know what scorpo-gun sounds cool I'll take him instead)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((seeeeee)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((now blurr and prowl need scorps of their own.)) FakeProwl: ((why does prowl need one)) B l u r r: [[ why would blurr need one omg ]] _Whirl: ((EVERYBODY GETS A SCORPION)) _Whirl: ((YOU geta  scorpion. and YOU get a scorpion)) FakeProwl: ((his thigh pockets have already been mapped)) _Whirl: ((well technically Prowl already has a spide)) B l u r r: blurr has velocity. He's like a bug ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((i forgot about the thigh pocket map... soundwave needs to just bring that up again randomly one day)) _Whirl: ((HEHEHHE)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((lmao velocity is the worst kind of pest)) _Whirl: ((YOU GOTTA MAP THE OUTSIDES NOW, SOUNDWAVE)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((HE'S WORKIN ON IT)) FakeProwl: ((starting from the face and moving out)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((Sorta. The old outsides. He'll have to start over again later. This is not a complaint.)) FakeProwl: ((the thigh pocket map was a beautiful accident)) _Whirl: ((Gotta be thorough)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((ok i'm gettin sleepy time to call the nerds to the bigger nerd)) _Whirl: ((AIGHT)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *And so it was done, with Soundwave being partially tipped over by Rumble and Frenzy's fight to dock first. Carrier troubles.* _Whirl: *will clamber out of his Hammock* Just give me the word when you need me, Teach. And pass me the frequencies of your guys, too, or have 'em contact me, in case they need to give me any more details, y Scorponock: [ aw the friend going home ] _Whirl: *yeah? ...*bobs his head goodbye to the Soundwave Posse* B l u r r: ... Yeah, sure. I'll contact you. B l u r r: / waves claw / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Zori gently taps his claws against Scorponok's* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave nods* _Whirl: *clicks his claw back at Blurr in farewell* Scorponock: [ claw tap!! ] ItsyBitsySpyers: #you be safe #I will see you soon! #:D Scorponock: Bye bye, Zzzzoree! ItsyBitsySpyers: #we will go to sand ItsyBitsySpyers: #bye! Scorponock: Zaand! [ claws to the air ] Bye ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave manages to right himself once both twins are docked and flexes his hands. Okay. They got on the right ones.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He bobs his head at Prowl.* _Whirl: *he will now scuttle off to look over this list of alts Blurr has sent him& FakeProwl: I'll see you next week. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Company always enjoyed. Rest well. FakeProwl: *poofs out* FakeProwl: *nod* FakeProwl: *SHAM-WOW DUST ATTACK* B l u r r: / wow / FakeProwl: ((cmon livestream you know the nod and the poof should've been in the opposite order)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Laserbeak immediately explodes into coughs and hiccups as she drops otu of the dust cloud to try to get clean air in her vents* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave shakes his helm and rescues her.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[His apologies. We will bring dust cleaning materials next time.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Be safe, Blurr. Do not fall to the meatbags.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Out they go.* B l u r r: Aw, thanks. B l u r r: I won't. I think...