#speaking.[hostess lulu] | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

liliisms · 5 years

Text

the one where they tell mads.

TAGGING: Lili, Cole @hqcolem, Madelaine @madelame-x

LOCATION: Vancouver, Canada.

TIMEFRAME: August 26th, 2019.

NOTES: Lili and Cole only want one person to be their baby’s godmother.

Cole: Finishing mixing the sauce that was meant to go with dinner, Cole studied the recipe carefully so that he didn't screw it up and once he was satisfied that he'd prepared it correctly, added it to the already cooking pan of vegetables and noodles for the vegan stir fry he was currently making. He and Lili had invited Madelaine over to announce to her that Lili was pregnant and subsequently ask her to be the godmother over dinner. Cole wasn't an expert in vegan cooking, he could make a limited amount of dishes but he hoped that everyone liked the noodles and that they wouldn't be too hard on Lili's unpredictable stomach. Once it was finished, he set the temperature on the stove to the lowest setting and let the vegetables keep warm as he made to set the table, glancing at the clock. "Hey, Lils are you ready?" He called through the apartment, stopping to pet the two dogs on his way to replenish their food and water. Cole wasn't nervous about telling Madelaine, he knew she was good with kids and was constantly going on about how cute their child would be. He was mostly just excited to share the news with someone else that they were close to.

Madelaine: After a weekend full of emotions and watching Evan go, talking with Vanessa and deciding to give things a try, Madelaine was more than excited to go visit Lili and Cole. She wasn't gonna tell them anything since they had agreed with Ness to tell them together at work, but it was still dinner with two of her favorite people on the planet, so after stopping at a store for a bottle of wine and some chocolate for desert (Lili always needed chocolate, it was something well known amongst her friends), the redhead drove the short distance between her home and the Sprousehart, as their fans had dubbed them, residence. Walking up to the front door, knuckles rapped on the wood before ringing the actual doorbell.

Lili "Is this going to be edible? I'm wary." Lili wrinkled her nose as she glanced over the pot that Cole was cooking in. She wasn't doubting his cooking skills, more like if it would taste tasty to her. Vegan food wasn't one of her top choices but she knew the circle of food that Lili and Madelaine could both eat had little similarities. "And I'm ready. I'm just trying to find something comfortable to wear." There was a tight band of red around her stomach from the jeans she had had to wear on set today and she was dying for some relief. Choosing sweatpants and a cozy hoodie, hoping nobody else dressed up, Lili pulled her hair into a messy bun and looked over as she heard the knock. "Hiii," she greeted Mads with a bright smile and drew her into a hug. "Come on in, it's almost done. Ooh. Chocolate!"

Cole: "It's just vegetables and noodles babe" Cole replied, pulling out the bowls and cutlery they'd need and then starting to plate the stiry fry up into three bowls to put on the table. The dishwasher had been stacked with the dinner equipment and he was setting a jug of water and glasses on the table when he heard the knock on the door and smiled at Madelaine as she came through the house. "Hey! You're just in time, I just finished cooking" He told her, hugging the redhead in greeting "You really didn't have to bring anything. Come and sit down"

Madelaine: Smiling as Lili hugged her, Mads cuddled her back "Heyy!" She squealed as they hugged before stepping in and letting her take the chocolate "I knew better than to come with empty hands, especially with your lady and her sweet tooth, Sprouse" She teased, walking over to the kitchen and hugging Cole when he came into her view "Thanks for veganing up for me, guys" She said as she took a seat on the table.

Lili "Yeah, don't tell her she can't bring chocolate." Lili was practically heart eyes for the box and she held it chose to her chest as she shut the door behind Mads and then followed her in. Sticking it on the counter and scratching behind Gus's ears as he came running up to inspect their guest, Lili sank down into a chair next to her. "Apparently I can eat this. Who knew?" Vegetables and noodles didn't sound too bad, and it sounded light for her stomach which was actually perfect. "Do you want something to drink before I get too comfortable in this chair and forget I'm a hostess?"

Cole: "I was definitely talking about the wine but we can go with the chocolate too" Cole joked, pulling out a chair when he was satisfied that they'd have everything they needed on the table. "It actually wasn't that hard to make. I just followed a recipe from online. I've never had it before though so I'm not taking any blame if it doesn't turn out right". He started on the noodles with a pair of chopsticks, happy that the meal actually tasted somewhat okay considering it was off the internet and any recipe from there was always a little bit of a gamble on whether or not it would really work out. "Did you have a good time at Lulu's birthday yesterday?

Madelaine: "I know you Lils, I know you have your secret stash by your bed. I'll never not bring chocolates" The redhead said with a quick wink at her best friend. As if it were her own home, Madelaine walked to the kitchen and grabbed a cork screw to open the bottle of wine, coming back to the table to crack it open "I'm sure it's gonna be great, Thumper, don't worry about it" She said with a big smile as she sat back down "I did! The party was beautiful, the cupcakes were dangerously bright and you looked like you were having a blast, Mr. Bouncy Castle. Did you have a nice time, Lils?" She asked, turning her head to the blonde as she opened the bottle "Wine, guys?" She asked, pouring her own cup first. One glass of wine wasn't gonna hurt, and the drive wasn't too long back home.

Lili "More like my own little compartment in the cupboards," Lili quipped back. "Lili's junk food stash, it's legendary." She brought her legs up underneath her to sit criss cross on the chair, watching Mads move about their kitchen and thinking back to how familiar it felt to living with her once upon a time. Shaking her head at the mention of the bounce house, Lili took her own sip of water. "I have video of that I wanna show you," she told Mads and then watched the wine being poured. She had been wanting to bring up her pregnancy in the same manner as they had with KJ - tell him with the sonogram, no beating around the bush but once Lili denied alcohol, it was going to be hard to act like it wasn't for any other reason. "I kind of..can't drink wine for a while," Lili demurred with a growing smile on her face. "But thanks for the offer, Mads."

Cole: "I don't think I've ever seen that cupboard empty since we moved in" Cole didn't have as big a sweet tooth as Lili did but there was sure to always be something in there whether they needed it or not. When she opened the wine, Cole's eyes flicked to Lili for a moment before looking back at the bottle "I'll have one but just a little bit" He spoke, sliding the glass over to Madelaine and thanking her when she had handed it back. When Lili spoke a smile reappeared on Cole's face and he got up for a second "Actually, we have something we wanted to show you" He told her, leaving the room and coming back with one of the copies of the sonogram that they had stashed in their bedroom for safe keeping and away from wandering eyes. He sat back down, placing it on the table in front of Madelaine.

Madelaine: Happily pouring herself the glass of wine and pouring a little bit on Cole's, Madelaine looked at Lili with confusion on her face. It wasn't often that Lili didn't drink wine, but then again, everyone had their moments so she just decided to put it behind her. But then Cole stood up and he was smiling and so was Lili, they had the same look on their faces, and it just- "Oh my..." Her eyes widened as she let her jaw drop in a huge smile looking at Lili for a second before Cole came back, leaving the sonogram picture in front of her "Oh my god, you guys!! No way!" She said, picking it up with her hands "No way, no.... Oh my god, Lil!" She couldn't really make any bigger words before she went up to hug the blonde.

Lili grinned as Madelaine put two and two together. She had been hoping it'd be a happy reaction but this was even better than she imagined. "Yeah!" She laughed, hugging her friend back tightly. "I'm almost two months. I told Cole Saturday, we told KJ yesterday and now you know. Well, and Dylan too," she added. Only a select group of people were finding out before Lili and Cole wanted to expand it so that it could stay a secret for just a little while longer. Lili still had to figure out how let Roberto know and she had to tell her family and Cole's family before they went and shared the happy news with the rest of their friends. "A little McNugget is cooking in there." She patted her stomach, taking another drink of water. "That's your copy because..well.." Lili looked over at Cole. "I asked KJ, honey, why don't you ask her."

Cole: Cole wasn't surprised that Madelaine was happy for them. He hadn't really anticipated any other reaction out of their friends. All the same, it was nice that the few people they'd told so far had been really happy and supportive. It had just made the whole experience a lot more enjoyable. "If it wasn't a baby, it probably would be a McNugget" Cole took a sip of his water as he listened to Lili speak. "We were wondering whether you'd like to be the godmother. You're one of our closest friends and we couldn't think of anyone else that we'd think would be better suited for the role"

Madelaine: Madelaine was far too entranced with just looking at Lili and then down at her stomach, and back up at Lili again. Her best friend was growing a human.... Who's father was the other one of her best friends. She could feel the love irradiating in that room coming from that very stomach. Hearing what Lili said, about keeping the copy of the sonogram, she looked down at it with tears in her eyes, and when Cole talked, she looked up at him. "What? Me?" She asked, and that's when the waterworks started. Reaching out to hug Cole, who she hadn't congratulated yet, she all but broke down in his arms "Of course I'll be their godmother" She said, hugging him tightly before pulling back and looking at Lili, her lips pouting and quivering before she hugged her again "Thank you... Thank you so much" She whispered in her ear, taking in a deep breath and calming herself down as she took a small step back. "Wow... Wow this is-" She mumbled, picking up the sonogram picture in her hand again and putting it on Lili's stomach "You're the luckiest little nug in the world. With these parents? You're set for life, bug"

Lili was beaming as Madelaine took it all in. KJ had cried, Madelaine was practically crying..Great. Now Lili was seconds away from crying too just like the other night. She wrapped her arms tightly around Mads, trying not to think about how they had started this whole wonderfully wild journey being roommates and now they were /here/, going on a brand new adventure together. She tried not to because she knew she'd definitely start blubbering then. "Oh God, don't," Lili wiped at her face, laughing as she started to fail against the not crying. "C'mon, Mads, I'm barely keeping it together here and I'm trying really hard not to be the cliche pregnant lady who cries all the time!" She glanced down at the sonogram pressed against her stomach and a warmth spread over her, already knowing their baby was so lucky to have a group of people who loved them from the start.

Cole: Cole hugged Madelaine back, happy that she'd accepted being the godmother. The three of them had been close since the show started and Madelaine had been with the two of them through their whole relationship, especially in the beginning when she was Lili's roommate. So it made a lot of sense that she was godmother. Cole had seen her with babies too and they adored her so it was exciting that it'd actually be their child this time around. "Of course. We wouldn't have wanted it any other way" He reassured her. "And Lils, I love you but I definitely think you've already fallen into that cliche trap of being the one who cries all the time" Now that they'd had both the godparents told, it was really just their families they needed to tell and that'd be it for a while.

Madelaine: Wrapping her arms protectively around Lili, but also in sort of a hug, Madelaine chuckled into her friend's shoulder "Don't worry, I'm crying too and I'm as far as it gets from being pregnant, so you can blame it all on me" She joked with a smile, looking over at both their friends and bringing them together, one under each arm "I'm so happy for you guys. This is gonna be the adventure of a freaking lifetime, and I'm so happy and honored you've chose me to come along with you. And I promise I'll make sure to always be on your side, and be the cool aunt who lets you do the silly things and brings you back home unharmed whenever mom and dad say no, Nugget" She said, putting a hand on Lili's stomach.

Lili "Shut up," Lili sniffled but knew Cole had a point. She was a sensitive girl to begin with and now her hormones were really going to come out to play. She'd soon be crying over everything. She leaned into Mads's embrace and smiled, wiping at her eyes again as Madelaine talked to her stomach. She wasn't showing apart from a little pouch and yet, nothing felt more real than Mads's cool fingers splayed across the front of her hoodie. "We're going to be the cool parents, I don't know what you're talking about. Can we eat before I really embarrass myself and start actually sobbing?"

Cole: "We are going to be the cool parents, that's for sure" Cole agreed with Lili, gently using the soft sleeve of his shirt to wipe the remaining tears off her face. It had been a pretty emotional weekend and if anything it had just shown them how much love and support they really had from all their close friends, it was almost overwhelming. "We'd still love you even if you started sobbing" He spoke, sitting back down in his chair now that the madness was over "But we should eat before it gets too cold too"

Madelaine: Tucking the small sonogram picture into the back pocket of her jeans, Madelaine wiped her eyes with the back of her hands and took a couple steadying breaths "I don't know what you guys are talking about since the waterworks clearly came out of me, today" She said, chuckling as she found her way back into her seat to pick up the glass of wine. She was about to take a sip, but sympathetically towards Lili, she moved it out of the way, taking her water glass and pouring herself and Lili some water. "I know you haven't told many people but Ness... Can I tell Nessie?"

Lili "You can drink wine, Mads," Lili chuckled, trying to keep a hold of herself and get herself back on track. "I promise I won't get upset. It's not like I'm going to make Cole stop drinking." That..might change but he didn't need to know that, especially as it would depend entirely on how Lili was feeling as the months progressed. "Tell her if you want but tell her /you/ insisted on telling her so she doesn't get mad at us for not," Lili shook her finger at Mads but knew just how tempting it'd be for Mads to share that happiness with somebody and Vanessa was definitely someone Lili wanted to know.

Cole: Cole wasn't too fussed on whether or not Lili wanted him to stop drinking. It'd probably be nice to go for a little while without it. He was planning on quitting smoking or at least severly lessening the amount he did smoke. It just wasn't worth it anymore, even if he didn't do it too much, there wasn't any point to continue. "Yeah. I think we'll probably tell a couple other people soon enough but we're really hoping to just keep it a secret for as long as possible and then announce it when we're ready to" Cole knew it'd have to happen eventually but he was really hoping they'd be able to announce it themselves before the media or press got a hold of the news.

#p043: towttm #see what i did there

2 notes · View notes

looselucy · 7 years

Photo

Childhood friends / 5016 words

The Finale

December 2017

Part One

“Have you made your mind up yet?” My mother asked me, finally beginning to clear away the mess that had been made days before when we had our annual Boxing Day party. “Yeah. Yeah I’m gunna come.” I smiled. “You are? Oh good!” “You seem surprised.” I noted. “You’ve just been so hesitant.” “Well, there have been no signs that he’s home this year. He never usually is, last year was a fluke, so… I think I’m safe.”

Since Harry had left Holmes Chapel at the tender age of 16, it had taken until he was 22 years old for him to come and spend a New Years back in our tiny village, and I felt like maybe I had played a small role in him being there. We’d promised each other we’d make an appearance if the other did, and we’d kept that promise. No one had seen him over the Christmas period, from what I’d learnt. A couple of days earlier I’d bumped into Anne in bloody Tesco and chatted casually with her, and she hadn’t mentioned him, which I was glad of. Usually when he was home it was like the damn Messiah had returned and everyone talked about it. I figured I was safe again. Since he walked out of my life on the 4th of September, we hadn’t spoken since. Not a text, or a missed call. No drunken voicemails or declarations of love. We’d truly cut ties, and it was everything I had needed it to be. As each day passed, I would think less and less of him. He would cross my mind less, and by the time three months hit, even when he did cross my mind, it wasn’t accompanied by the sinking feeling that used to be there whenever I pictured his pretty face. I still wasn’t ready to see him though. I think I’d need another six years of no contact before I was ready for that. “I think he’s in Los Angeles.” She commented. “Can’t say I’m surprised. Well, that’s good news for me.” “How are you feeling about it?” “The breakup?” “Yes.” “I’m alright.” I shrugged. “Gets a bit easier every day.” Around a month after we’d split, when the cheating rumours were finally dying down, I’d been sat with the girls outside a café by the beach one Saturday afternoon, and this girl walked up to us and spoke directly to me. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out with you and Harry.” “I’m sorry?” I whelped, eyes going wide. “Just feel bad for ya. Hope you’re doing okay.” And that was it. She left, and I burst into tears, the girls all swarming around me with tight hugs and comforting words for me and not so friendly words for the girl who had approached us. That was the worst day, by far. That was when it hit me the hardest. That was when I realised I was sharing my breakup with people I didn’t even know, and they weren’t even aware of what was actually happening. I think I cried for about 24 hours after that. “I spoke to Anne the other week.” My mother began awkwardly, clearly having something to say for herself. “Right?” “She said he’s not doing too good.” “Mum, he’s fine. He’s been touring. I know he’s fine.” “Lulu, I’m not saying he’s bloody falling apart. I think he just misses you!” “I miss him too, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not fine. I’m fine, and I’m pretty sure he is too. This is just… how people feel after a breakup. It’s a weird adjustment, but… it’s fine.” I wasn’t expecting either of us to be totally normal after what happened. The breakup wasn’t easy. We hadn’t fallen out of love. Neither of us had cheated, despite the many false claims. It wasn’t as simple as that. I felt like there was always that idea that when a couple part ways, that one of them is fine because they initiated it. Like one person could move on whilst the other spent months trying to deal with the turmoil, but that’s not how things work. My mum was talking like Harry still being uneasy about our breakup meant more than it actually did. It was natural. I didn’t think myself and Harry could ever be fully okay about what had happened, because there was too much history between us. “I know he’s good.” I nodded. “He’s working, and that’s where he thrives. He’s good.” “How’s work for you?” She asked, thankfully changing the topic, because speaking about Harry was tiring. “It’s really good. I really like it. Feels good. It’s nice because like… Swanage always felt new, even though I’ve been there for years now. It always still felt like I’d just moved there. But now I feel settled, finally. It feels like home.” “That’s nice. I’m glad you feel that way.” For the first time, I actually believed her. It finally felt like we’d gotten past the years where she’d just beg me to move back home. I found myself thinking that, even though things hadn’t worked with Harry, and it hurt, it had managed to make both myself and my mother more open with how we felt. We’d started facing our feelings rather than dismissing them, talking openly rather than burying things. My mother had accepted that I needed to fly the nest, and I knew full well that all of that had happened because loving Harry had opened my heart, revealed scars that I’d hidden for as long as I could remember. I was thankful for that.

Part Two

I spotted him within a minute of me walking into the party. Across the room, tall, frustratingly handsome, eyes on me like he’d been watching the door just waiting for me to arrive. Throughout the years, I’d felt many things when my eyes fell upon Harry Styles, but nothing like that. I thought I was going to be sick. I thought I was going to physically throw up, and maybe I would have done if my body didn’t completely freeze up. I’d really thought he wouldn’t be there, or at least I’d convinced myself as much, in an attempt to save my sanity. His hair had grown a little, tufting around his neck and trying it’s best to curl. His skin was shining beneath the low light in the living room, looking so soft to the touch. He was timelessly beautiful. He stared at me, and I stared right back, life beginning to reintroduce itself to my body in the form of disordered shakes, wanting desperately to cry but knowing I couldn’t. I couldn’t be that weak. “I need wine.” I mumbled to my mum. “Hm?” “Harry’s here. I need a drink. I need a strong, strong drink. Now.” I darted so I was out of his vision, my mother trailing behind me as we wandered straight into the kitchen, and she kept mumbling various version of nervous nonsense that I tried to pay no attention to, saying timid greetings to people we passed by that I knew, and wanting to escape the bustle of the party even though I’d literally only been there for seconds. My head was spinning before we found our way to the wine. “Are you okay?” My mother asked, remaining at my side rather than joining her friends. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Fuck. I didn’t wanna see him. I’m not ready to see him.” “Just avoid him.” “I know him, mum. He’ll go out of his way to make sure we speak. I know he will.” “Maybe you should say you’re not ready.” “Tell the truth? Absolutely not.” I was shaking as I poured us both a glass, and the second the substance slipped down my throat my body trembled with ease, and I literally forced myself to calm down. I passed her the second glass once I was done pouring. “Well, why don’t you go and find some friends and socialise and try to forget about it?” “All they’ll talk about is him.” I groaned. “All anyone in this fucking town talks about, is him. It’s just worse when he actually shows up. I should run away.” “You’re ridiculous, Lulu.” “I know, so do you think I’d stand a better chance running out the front or the back door?” “Lulu?” I heard his voice, and dropped my glass of wine. It shattered onto the floor and brought in additional pairs of eyes, someone cheering my clumsiness in the distance, and then applauding me. I knew Harry was stood right beside us, but I didn’t look to confirm it, merely crouching down and beginning to gather the glass with my bare hands. He knelt next to me, grabbing my hands within his and bringing my frantic cleaning to a halt. “Hey, don’t.” He groaned. “You’ll cut yourself.” “Fucking waste of wine.” I groaned, trying to snatch my hands back. “Lulu, don’t!” He called, and we finally looked up at one another, our faces only inches apart. I stilled, staring at him as he stared back, the two of us silent for just a second or two, but it felt like a lifetime, one where I could recall every groove of his gorgeous face and every furrow of my shattered heart. “DON’T WORRY, I’LL SORT IT!” We heard, and I looked over my shoulder to see the hostess darting over to us with a dustpan and brush in hand. “Thanks, Auntie Carol.” Harry groaned, running a hand through his hair as the two of us got back to our feet. “You okay?” “I’m fine.” I grumbled. “Have you cut-” “No, honestly, I’m fine.” I tried to smile at him. “I’m good.” I hated talking to him. Because the worst part was, I didn’t feel like we’d lost that spark we’d always shared, but more like I was trying to ignore it, shun it and bury it deep into the ground where I didn’t need to acknowledge his existence. But when I looked into his eyes, it was there, bright and screaming and sparkling like starlight. “Lemme pour you another drink.” He offered. “Okay.” I trembled. He moved over to the collection of wine, picking out a clean glass and pouring me a new drink as the atmosphere around us returned to normal, the glass being cleaned up with speed, and my mother shooting me a look of worry before she went to join some friends, leaving me and Harry to rekindle. It wasn’t something I wanted. He turned around with my glass, his smile encouraging, but it still didn’t help to ease me. “How are you?” He asked. “I… I’m sorry, I can’t.” Tears were filling my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I rushed past him, my shoulder bashing into his, rushing out of that room and then darting up the stairs and taking myself to the bathroom. Because it was in there that I could lock the door. I could shut myself out and pretend I wasn’t there, and I could cry. Because losing love is so much harder than you’re ever told it’s going to be.

Part Three

I’d had a miserable night, all in all. I had tried my best to cheer up and just enjoy the night for what it was, but every now and then, myself and Harry would wind up in the same room, or we’d catch eye contact, or wander past each other, and it became more and more awkward every single time. I should have been able to talk with him. As far as breakups go, ours had ran pretty smoothly. The only problem was, just because we’d broken up didn’t mean we no longer loved each other. That wasn’t why things ended, and that’s what made speaking to him so difficult. It was a few minutes to midnight, and I’d removed myself from the party completely. I thought back to the year before, when we’d been there together, and he’d asked to kiss me, whispered his hot passion into my ears as the room erupted in celebrations, and the memories that were once fond were now ghosts that haunted me. I needed some space. With my arms wrapped around my legs, I sat in the back garden alone, staring up to the skies and waiting for them to light up as an indication of the new year. I was enjoying my loneliness, no matter how brief. Because I heard the faint sound of footsteps behind me, and then Harry appeared, sitting silently down at my side, mimicking my frame and my gaze, totally silent, shoulder brushing mine. I turned to look at him, watching his temples pulse as he stared towards the sky, licking over his lips and swallowing as he looked up towards the stars. I looked back ahead of me, and it was so nice to just sit there with him for a while. We didn’t need to say anything, but merely breathe in the atmosphere. I think it helped, to have some time to become accustom to being in his company again, and what it was like to have him by my side, without us having to talk. I still felt calm by the time something was finally said. “Had more fun last year.” He acknowledged, which made me smile. “Me too.” He turned his head to me, but I kept my forward, the sting of his eyes on my cheek already too much to take. “I’m sorry… For… approaching you. I can tell you wanna be alone, but… I just have this need to talk to you.” “About what?” “Nothing. Everything. I dunno. Whatever you wanna tell me. I just wanna know… if you’re okay.” The wind seemed to pick up its pace, freezing around my skin and messing with my hair. We’d gone so many years without being in touch, but after everything that had happened over the last year and a half, I now felt that same need within me, just to know how he was, if he was okay. I wondered if that kind of thing ever goes away, or if there’s a small part of you that will forever crave the knowledge of the wellbeing of people you’ve loved. I finally plucked up the courage to turn my head his way. “I’ve been alright.” I shrugged. “Work’s good. Life’s good. How’re you? How’s the tour?” “Amazing.” He smiled. “I’ve loved it, yeah. It was… I dunno. Good timing, I think. It’s kept me busy. My minds been… occupied.” “Mm… That’s good.” “Still think about you a lot.” He admitted, rather shyly. My stomach was knotting in an unkind way, making me feel as though I could throw up right there, but I swallowed down those feelings as much as I could, smiling sweetly to him and trying not to cry again. “I think about you too.” I whispered. “I miss you like mad.” He released. “Whenever I have a good gig or… summat sick happens, I always wanna tell you about it. I just wanna ring you and… talk to you about it.” “It’s just the simple stuff like that, innit?” My eyes went wide. “Just… your existence within mine. It’s a hard thing to… become accustom to.” He nodded, and then looked back towards the sky, and I don’t even remember it happening, I just know I ended up laying my head on his shoulder, and feeling comforted being there. We went quiet again, the distant sound of the party and the harsh gusts being the only thing that animated that moment. Everything felt so calm. Once again, I was realising a little too late, that it was good to talk. “Do you think we did the right thing?” He asked me. I closed my eyes, wishing there was a right answer to that question, but it was an impossible query, one that didn’t have a right or wrong answer. We’d never know. We’d never know what it would have been like if we’d stuck it out, because maybe we could have worked it out, or maybe it would have been worse. Maybe we would have ended up despising each other because of things that were out of our control. We’d never really know if it was the right thing to do in the long run, but it was the right thing to do then. With how I was feeling, how he had been acting, how different our lives were. It was the right thing, even though sometimes, it didn’t feel like it. “Hard to say. I think… there’s always stuff that coulda happened differently. It’s… I dunno. It’s not easy to answer that.” He nudged his head in my direction, and I could feel the curve of his pretty lips on the top of my head. Even being around him felt so familiar, like home. He felt like home, he always had and he always would. In every location we’d been, and every emotion I’d felt when I looked into his eyes, I had always been at home when he was at my side. “Maybe another six years and… we’ll learn to be mates again.” He spoke hopefully. “You think?” “Mm… Maybe. I… I dunno. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at you like that.” “Maybe not.” “I think… I’m always going to love you.” Harry was always so open with how he felt, what was going through his head. He’d just say things like it was nothing, when really it meant so much, to both of us. Because it was the truth, we both knew it. It had been that way since I was kid. I had always loved him, and he had always loved me, and it had never changed. Our love had gone through many stages, from teenage angst, to our years apart where Harry found himself thinking of me so often, to when he turned up at my door and stayed in my bed, to our attempt at a relationship. Our love had gone through so many motions, and although it was a love we were no longer acting on, I couldn’t see it fading. “Is this gunna happen every year now?” I mumbled. “You’ll… turn up at Christmas time and… it’ll be like going through the breakup all over again?” “I fucking hope not.” He chuckled. “We’ll manage it better next year. This year… it’s still new. It was bound to be hard.” I hoped he wouldn’t come back every year, to be honest. I hoped he’d return to old habits, spending his New Year’s Eve a little more extravagantly. I just had this awful image in my mind, like one year he’d turn up with another girl on his arm and I’d have to swallow my pride, be polite and friendly and pretend it wasn’t hurting to see him love someone else. I was bound to see it at some point, anyway. Whether it was up close and personal, or through the media, I would have to witness it. It was inevitable. He didn’t have to worry about that with me, but I knew full well that one day a picture of him kissing someone else or holding someone’s hand would crop up onto my phone or my laptop and I’d just have to deal with it. I was filled with dread by the mere thought. He sweetly kissed at the top of my head, budging a tiny bit closer to me. “You cold? You’re shivering.” He mumbled, sounding incredibly irked by the thought. “I’m fine.” “Here.” He shuffled off the long, black coat he’d been wearing, pulling his arms out of their slots and then wrapping it around my shoulders carefully, being so soft with me that it somehow made me feel even worse. Only seconds later, a bright beam screamed its way into the nights sky, bursting and glowing as it exploded beautifully ahead of us, colourful and radiant and loud and exciting. And then it fizzled, faded into nothingness, like it had never been there in the first place. I saw the two of us within that spectacular detonation. “Happy New Year.” He whispered, as more began to erupt. “Happy New Year.” I returned, turning to look at him. He was slow as he moved his lips towards mine, glancing from my lips to my eyes in quick succession to gage my reaction as he closed the gap between us, but I found myself slowly leaning his way too. There was a moment where we waited, our foreheads pressed together, our breathing erratic and providing the only heat around us, hovering our lips so close together, trembling in unison. Then he tilted his head that little bit further, and we kissed. Gentle doesn’t even come close to describing how we were with one another. I felt as though my touches and actions had never been so thought out, careful, soft. Even when he reached to clutch his hand at my jaw, I could barely feel his fingers caressing over my skin. It was perfect. It felt so perfect and beautiful, I could barely believe it was happening. The fireworks mimicked the clashes and curls of my stomach as our tongues worked wonders together, a minor moan pushing from my mouth so his. I don’t know how long we kissed for, but it felt as though my lips were slightly swollen by the time we pulled away from one another, remaining close, the night silent again. “I love you, Little Lulu Lamb.” “I love you, Haz.”

Part Four – Harry

Anne drunkenly giggled as she finally managed to get the key into the lock and let them into their family home, tripping over the welcome mat, which only made her laugh more. “Alright, I’m putting you to bed.” Gemma groaned, wondering when it was that the roles had reversed, and she’d ended up looking after her. “Harry, put the kettle on.” “I’m going to bed, I’m knackered.” He groaned. “Harry… Put the kettle on.” She was stern the second time around. He groaned, rolling his eyes but doing as he was told, sulking his way into the kitchen and yawning as he went, Gemma taking their mother and putting her in bed, with great difficulty and many giggles. Harry leant against the kitchen counter as the kettle boiled, waiting for the return of his sister and knowing she was going to make him talk. He was too tired for it, really. It had been a long night, and he would have been tired no matter what, but after what had happened with Lulu, it had drained him. His emotions had been stretched and worn thin, and really, he just wanted to get in bed. He'd prepared two drinks by the time Gemma made it back downstairs, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. “She’s hard work when she’s drunk.” “I’d say, as a family, we’re all pretty hard work when we’re drunk.” “That’s true.” She agreed. “You seem sober as a judge right now.” “Yeah.” He shrugged. “You alright?” He shrugged again, a little more animated the second time around, looking away from her, because suddenly it was hard to hold her gaze. It wasn’t often that Harry shied away from looking directly into someone’s eyes. It was something he was good at, giving all his attention to that one person, in that moment, and just concentrating on them and nothing else. He could stare into the eyes of a stranger, and interviewer, a fan, and hold their gaze like it was nothing, and like they were everything. He struggled more with his family, and the people he loved. They could see past a persona, and look directly into the soul of the person they were talking to, rather than seeing the image he chose to share. They could tell when he was lying, or hurting, or feeling things that he didn’t really want to voice. That’s why he looked away from her then, because he could feel that strength fading from him. He was too open, vulnerable. “You must have known she’d be there.” Gemma spoke again once Harry hadn’t replied. “Yeah. I knew. I mean… I wanted to see her, that’s why I came back, but… I dunno. I guess I didn’t… realise how hard it’d be.” “Did you speak to her?” “Yeah.” “Is she okay?” “I think so. She’s still… upset too, but… I knew she would be. But I think, in general, things are going well for her. Which is good. It’s what I wanted to hear.” Gemma nodded, understanding how much her brother had been aching since he broke up with a girl she’d teased him about since they were still in school uniforms. Gemma had always known that even if he hadn’t seen her for years, and turned back up to find her with a boyfriend, it would hurt him. They hadn’t needed to rekindle fully for him to feel that emotional pull with Lulu; it had always been there. But after everything that had happened, she couldn’t imagine how awful he was feeling about losing her. In a way, he’d always felt like he’d lost her, but then he’d had a few months where she was his, entirely, and the pain of losing that, was something she couldn’t imagine. “Do you feel better for talking to her? Or worse?” She asked. “I don’t even know. Like, right now, I feel shit. I feel fucking horrible, but… I feel better than I did last time I… walked out of her life. She didn’t let me say goodbye and… it felt like… I don’t know if I processed it properly. Tonight… It felt like the closure I needed. We both did.” Harry would never be able to explain that feeling he had, when he left her that cold September morning. He wanted to grant her wishes, and leave without saying another goodbye. Their final night together was so beautiful, he understood why she wanted it to be that way, even though he’d argued and tried so hard to make her change her mind. But the morning after was painful. He awoke in an empty bed, his heart aching at the thought that he wouldn’t be able to slip away from her as inconspicuously as she’d hoped. He thought he would be able to kiss her one last time as she slept, soft, uninterrupted, but she’d woken early, and what he knew was going to be hard, got even harder. He felt his heart breaking when he got to the bottom of the stairs, looking through the doorway and seeing the woman he loved with her arms around her legs and her head down, crying and attempting at blocking him out. He didn’t know what to do with himself, staring at her knowing every physical pain he had ever endured was nothing compared to that feeling, where his heart was splintering inside his body. He knew he had to kiss her one last time, and even though all he got to do was kiss the top of her head, it would have to be enough. He got in his car and he waited. Five or ten minutes. He waited for her to change her mind. He waited for her to run outside and stop him, kiss him, tell him that they could make things work and that she wanted to give him the chance to prove himself, and show that he was willing to change schedules and rotas and old habits in order for the two of them to be in a healthy relationship. She never did. With tears rolling down his cheeks, he’d started the engine, and left. That goodbye, was not enough. That goodbye was broken and empty and everything the two of them were not. They had needed that closure, and although it was a reminder of the loss he felt, he was also grateful to have put himself through that. He was grateful that their last kiss could be something he would now cherish, rather than something that felt like a waste of love. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out, H.” His sister sighed. “I know how much she means to you.” He looked down to the floor, scrunching his nose a little, wanting to shrug again but he barely had the energy to do even that. After they’d kissed, she went home, quietly slipping away from the party and dealing with it in her own way. He watched her walk away, and it felt, finally, like he’d truly lost her. “D’ya think there’s some people you never really get over?” He asked. “I think there are… some people who will always mean that little bit more to you than others.” Gemma tried to say the right thing at the same time as being honest. “I think there are some people who… remain in our hearts, always, but… I think you get over them, and you can move and stuff but… some people stick.” Harry had been very conscious of who he kept close for the past few years. He’d been fucked over and used by countless groups of people, and so began handing out less and less of himself as each year went on. It was easier that way. But when Harry found a bond with certain people, he knew they’d be there forever. Nestled into his mind and his heart in ways that your average acquaintance couldn’t even dream of being. There weren’t too many people like that, given the amount of people he met so regularly, even a lot of the people who he spent a good percentage of his time with. Not very many of them had woven their way into his heart in the way that couldn’t be removed. It was in that very moment, that he acknowledged, that Lulu Lambert had engraved her stitching so deeply, so widespread, that she took up more room than most. She would be there forever, and that thought, somehow, made him smile.

#we still have the epilogue #but....... say your goodbyes #1dff #Harry Styles #TLATL #The Lamb and The Lion #TLATL13

147 notes · View notes

estro-gem · 4 years

Text

Black and White in Grey: Chapter 9

Authors note: Another day, another chapter, featuring two fictional characters of a great show that I couldn’t dream of creating.

Language may be a little spicy, just warn give a fair warning, but I don’t think it is too bad, don’t worry.

Also, Luna can’t catch a break (I swear I’m not a sadist)

Please enjoy!

CHAPTER 9: BETWEEN THE LINES

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see him, it was just foreign to Luna that someone made an effort to see her on a frequent bases, without a formal reason.

That’s right, as the Lord of Chaos promised, he showed up in the throne room about 3 days later.

The Dark Princess stood, wary of his presence and bracing herself for whatever madness he was going to thrust upon her this time. To be teleported, shoved into a portal, teased, challenged – anything! But none of that came.

The pony found herself standing in the doorway of the throne room for an uncomfortable amount of time since she first saw Discord lazily floating about the room and humming to himself, almost paying her no mind. She cleared her throat, not sure if he even heard her come in.

The Lord’s carefree way of carrying himself around her was something that never failed to amaze Luna. The weight of her outburst (her mental breakdown she had in his own house almost 2 weeks ago) when she insulted him and belittled him before almost losing her sanity in such a pathetic display… it still laid heavily on her chest.

She drew the most extra-ordinary reactions from him that night. She remembered the unreadable expression he wore and his eyes... that dangerous glow that bore into her very soul. That untouchable aura. She was sure she had upset him, but the way he acted, every encounter he had with Luna since then, was as if it never happened!

It was infuriating. He didn’t give her a chance to apologize the first time after they had seen each other since her… episode… and he didn’t even wait on any words from her during their first officially scheduled meeting. No, he was too happy to taunt and chase her in her own bloody realm!

Discord was impossible! She couldn’t think about anything in his company – besides him – and it was annoying and maddening to always focus on keeping him from doing something stupid. It was overwhelming and it was… such a relief at the same time.

Luna had to admit, he was one thing that was sure to keep her mind off thoughts and stress – and fears. She didn’t need to think too much around him, because it was no use to even try. Discord was someone she didn’t have to act proper with. She could be mad, raise her voice, snap back at him, have shameless fun, laugh without a care – and so could he. He made her feel like she was entitled to do so and she held no grudge to his remarks, knowing that they weren’t meant seriously. That they were on the same level in some way, despite being so incredibly different.

She could grow very fond of Discord when she thought of him all like that.

“Now, Lulu, I’m more than content hanging around and all, but I’m going to say something and not apologize for it, ok? You are a terrible hostess.” The Chaos Lord’s whining voice pulled the princess out of her stupor.

And just like that, the fondness vanished into thin air.

Luna didn’t answer too quickly, though, because when she gave it some thought, he was technically right. This was her home… and all she had done so far was stand in the doorway, not even greeting.

Discord did notice her presence after all.

“Fair enough.” She simply replied, letting her smirk creep on her face as she added, “Evening Discord. It’s a pleasure to see that you have once again invited yourself. Unannounced.” She smiled smugly at his unamused expression, before adding, “Without even greeting.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” The draconiquus waved off, turning his full attention on the pony, “Fine, but remember that I’m the Lord of Chaos. It’s expected of me to be spontaneous!”

Luna hummed in response with a smile that she couldn’t seem to get off her face, walking to the nearest window and looking outside. She had yet to raise the moon, it was almost night. It was still early for her shift to start, though. Most creatures were cleaning up after dinner by now.

Discord’s shifted closer to Luna, almost joining her at her side at the window. He looked at the twilight sky, then, briefly, at Luna.

“I bet I can perform a more majestic moon-rise than even you could tonight!” Luna suddenly thought aloud, almost catching Discord off-guard.

“Oh really? Is that a challenge, princess?”

Luna had to suppress a shudder down her spine at his tone. It was almost similar to the tone he had when they were both in Cadence’s dream. Whatever that encounter was…

She pushed that memory away and turned squarely to face the Lord, “Discord, raise the moon tonight.”

For the slightest of moments, Discord’s eyes widened, “What?”

“Aw, come on… I know you can do it easily! I want to see how you would do it.” Luna said, eyes burning with curiosity.

Discord furrowed his brows playfully, “You’re getting lazy or something?” When the princess shook her head, holding her unwavering gaze on Discord, he felt shook to the core, “You’re serious.”

Luna only nodded with a gentle smile. She could offer him to flaunt his power, just this one time. Maybe she could soften him… to finally have that talk about how she acted in his house and explain why. He would understand it, right? One former villain to another?

If all else fails she could a least admit she made the effort to trust him.

It was risky. He could easily ruin the harmony of Equestria, so if she were to strike up a deal, she would have to risk it and go all in. It doesn’t mean, however, she couldn’t be smart about it.

“The moon is yours, Discord – for this night only. I would like to see what you have to offer.” The pony spoke in a cheeky tone, trying to mask her intentions, “I’ll go as far as giving you free reins.”

Meanwhile, Discord wasn’t caught off guard, but he was confused. It was a new card for Luna to play, to allow him of all creatures to take over her job. It was a bold move to put that amount of trust in him for one night. It was almost stupid.

His soul almost quivered in delight at this freedom he was granted. He could so easily take control, bend her offer, find loopholes to have all the fun in the world for this one night.

But no, he wasn’t blind.

The princess of the night was doing this as a test. She was doing this to see his intentions with her. He wasn’t offended, he basically predicted it – expected it. She didn’t have many friends, not many people her could trust besides the other princesses. Almost never directly interacted with anyone unless she was barking orders to guards or giving up some sleep to attend a meeting during daytime.

For the pony to give him so much leverage… was not just bold. It was not just a test. Inner demons was his specialty, after all. It was desperation.

That alone made his hunger for power die in his wrenching gut. To hell with bending the rules and having his way with the kingdom tonight. He was here on a mission, this was all work and no play. Luna was his main focus.

His new ally demanded it.

She would breath down his neck if he didn’t comply. Her orders were clear and he wasn’t one to disappoint for a pathetic reason like his resurfaced hunger for power. And she wasn’t one to be reckoned with. Her power was remarkable and something even he couldn’t face without risking something to loose. It was cruel, irrational, strong, harsh and undeniable beyond reason. A slow killer.

It was not out of fear that he agreed to his mission, however. This was for the sake of harmony he had grown to respect since his redemption.

Discord would take Luna’s offer and give back something just as generous.

“Very well, Lulu!” Discord finally said, letting the dark pony slowly inhale a breath, almost holding it in anticipation as he raised his claws to snap them, “Shall we take this outside on a higher balcony?”

Luna nodded, before she found her surroundings suddenly changing after hearing the Lord’s claws click. She felt that familiar anxiety wash over her – to be dragged away from her place in time. Her throat almost closed up, she couldn’t let in enough air to keep herself calm. The princess coward lower to the ground, trembling, letting her memories overcome her… back to the time she was so suddenly banished to the moon.

She couldn’t hear anything. Her vision was blinded by her tightly shut eyelids. Seconds passed before she felt someone grasp her shoulders and an alarmed voice talking fuzzy words she couldn’t understand. The voice became clearer and she remembered being with Discord.

She felt his now, caressing paws, rub circles on her shoulders and his words ceased to hush whispers, “Breathe.” They stayed like that for a few moments, until the pony’s trembles almost disappeared, before Luna pushed away from him and took calming breaths. In her hazy mind, a thought swam forth and she somewhat decided that she would try talk to him now, like she couldn’t before. To clear things up once and for all.

“No better time than the present, right?” she thought, desperately trying to formulate words.

“Discord,” she began, voice almost giving in, “I don’t like to be teleported by someone else, ok?”

This was good. She was calmer and didn’t burst out like last time. The draconiquus was quiet for a change and it almost made the atmosphere uneasy, but Luna took the chance to speak her mind, “When I am teleported by someone else, my surroundings do suddenly change, it feels like when I was banished. I was suddenly alone. The place was unfamiliar and there was no soul with me.”

She turned away from Discord her voice threatening to brake, “You know, some days, back then, I would find myself screaming. Just screaming and screaming to nothing for no reason. Even when I knew that no pony could hear me, I still cried for days on end.”

She looked Discord in the eyes, trying to ignore the fact that hers were stinging, basically whispering to him, “I’m scared that I’m teleported to that god-forsaken place… and I’ll be all alone again.”

Next: Chapter 10

Previous: Chapter 8

Masterlist

#fanfiction #mlp #chaosmoon #black and white in grey #luna #discord #discord x luna #antagonist celestia #angst #WARNING: mature themes #slow burn

0 notes