#spiral lmfao like wth | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bestial4ngel · 5 months

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Hate being the burden that everyone just wants to move on and grow up ‼️

my family lives in a 2 bedroom house so my younger sister and mom share a room but like… she’s going into high school soon. And with my friend that was the youngest sibling with the exact same bedroom arrangement as us, she COULDN’T WAIT for her brother to move out, she was counting the days and wishing he’d just get a job and go already.

And now that’s me !! Like fuck I hate being a huge unwanted inconvenience like this, and being too pathetic to get a job or to truly want to move somewhere else. I hate being the thing that is in everyone’s way and making their lives more miserable

#I know it’s just my insecurities probably but I swear now that my sister is older she probably sees me as soooo mf pathetic lmfao like she—#is constantly going out with friends and doing shit and she just signed up for the fuckin gym and every time she comes home I’m just here #looking like something that crawled out of the sewer #and she’s been making herself look so nice lately… to the point where at 14 she looks more like an adult than I do.#like god I’d be so fuckin disgusted and second hand embarrassed if I had to walk in and see me every time like she does #even when I’m kind of trying to look presentable I still look like shit #hate that I’m like this fr.#me talking #need to be shot amen #also fuckin hate how my moods are at least 80% dependant on what’s going on around me… like oh my sisters upset? time to think about how—#horrible of a person I am and start hating my guts again… oh someone else has lives in x place/has x job? time to feel gut wrenching—#inadequacy/pain about my own life and where I’m going even if I can usually feel neutral/accepting about it any other time #like 90% of the times I cry is when someone else is upset/stressed about something entirely unrelated to me and it sends me into a self hat #spiral lmfao like wth #maybe it’s the repression idk guys 🤷#I’m starting to get so fucking tired of me

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