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kissmetae · 4 years

Text

Hope

❧ AU: x Taehyung || Friends to Lovers (Lowkey slow-burn)

You felt distressed, caught up in your own emotions and confused by your over-thought thoughts. Going through a rough patch as some would say, where everything felt hopeless and you found yourself scrolling pinterest till 1am looking for "angsty" core aesthetics to fit your new "vibe" of life. But it was easier said than done to dig yourself a hole when your best friend constantly stood by filling the hole back up as you dug in an attempt to stop you, help you and make you feel better, despite having his own issue to deal with... his crush on you.

|| ANGST + SMUT | 11k | x reader | masterlist in bio ||

❧ Disclaimer: This is fiction. Actions and events in these stories are often exaggerated and to a certain degree unrealistic. Please have this in consideration when reading fiction, especially if it includes sexual content.

❧ Rating: EXPLICIT || sexual content, unprotected sex || Warnings: mention of feeling hopeless, "deep reflection", (reader is troubled by something going on in their life but it's open for interpretation/unspecified)

❧ Smut features: Vanilla, desperate, first time together, unprotected, reassuring/concent asking/'checking in' (is this ok? Does it feel good?) top!Tae and a power outage.

How do you know when you've reached the complete state of hopelessness? Do people ever become 100% hopeless? You inhaled deeply and sighed it out. Gaze to the white ceiling, back on the bed and legs up against the wall. The tingle in your feet from the lack of circulation made them look somewhat less alive and feel cold. With a tilt of the hips you allowed your legs to slowly fall to the side, forming a new pose in the shape of a 90 degree angle on the bed and allowing for the less zombie-ish color to return to your feet. Hopelessness. Feeling like there is no point yet still stubbornly aching in the inner crevice of the head with a wish for there to be a chance for something else. A change, a plot twist a sudden eureka to make the entire world loose it's zombie color pallet and become lively and vibrant again. Hope. Or a wish for hope. It's probably some basic programming, like survival instinct, hope instinct. But at this point you didn't want to believe. You wanted to be grumpy, upset, frustrated. To curse society and curse what isn't fair and curse all the norms and expectations around you regardless of who made them up! Curse the media, curse the mold for perfect and the lip filler ads, curse the restrictions planted by your own beliefs and curse the cause of said belief! But feeling frustrated and angry is hard. Not only is it exhausting but it's the hardest emotion to let out fully and feel satisfied by after. If anything anger and frustration feels like a self-fueling fire that keeps burning more and more until you get exhausted and slump down on the bed with your legs up the wall. Crying would've been easier. You sat up, feeling a brief spin in the head due to your advanced modelling poses and reached for your water bottle. Water, Zen, calm rivers, refreshment, sound of clucking water in the harbor... rain. You turned towards your bedroom window at the sudden raging pattering sound outside. Even the sky needed to cry today. You reached for your phone, having it be faced down for the past hour or so after giving up on ranting about your dilemma to your friend. You had two types of friends. Those who were there for you when convenient and those who were there for you regardless. Taehyung was one of them. 3 missed calls. 15 texts- make that 16. A sting of guilt washed through realizing he must've been worried sick the past hour. Too exhausted to use your vocal chords you opened the text chat. Taehyung was the definition personified of a caring person. Sometimes to the extent where you'd question if it was more than anyone deserved. Did the world deserve Taehyung? You didn't make it through the second text before your doorbell rang followed by a loud bang. It sounded urgent... You got up from bed and slipped your feet into your white fluffy slippers and made your way to the front door of your apartment. You unhooked the clasp and unlocked your door to see one of the rainstorm's victims dripping water onto your doormat. Taehyung, Dressed in a green raincoat and hair clinging to his forehead and temples. His chest was rising unnaturally with his attempts to regain his breathe. "Tae-" He stepped in, an arm wrapping around your side and the other pressing your head to his wet shoulder. "If you didn't make me so worried... I would've removed my raincoat before hugging you." He squeezed. "See this as my revenge." His heart was beating fast. He pulled back after a few seconds, breathing stable and his red hands reaching to unbutton his raincoat. Did he not wear gloves? He pulled the door shut behind him and gently kicked off his boots. Apparently not. "I'll... go hang your raincoat in the bathroom for it to dry" you said, taking it from him. He was quick to address the elephant. "Why didn't you reply to my texts?" He followed behind you. "I... I left my phone to charge and I got distracted..." you made up, hanging his raincoat up in the shower. "I didn't come here to scold you, but when you tell me you're feeling hopeless, you get that it makes me worried right?" His voice was gentle and he looked at you with concerned eyes, stood in the door to the bathroom. Actually.... you didn't. Why would anyone worry... everyone seemed to always take it as nihilistic comedy or something and swat it away with something along the lines of "you’re just hungry" or the classic "are you on your period?" Maybe you were or maybe you weren't but why would that matter? Just thinking about it made you feel annoyed. As if any deep emotion only was caused by a period, it's just a period, why would anyone, let alone someone with a period themselves ask someone else that in a way that minimizes the reason they feel upset or angry or whatever emot- "Hey?" Taehyung pulled you back out from inside your head. "I don't know..." He crossed his arms over his chest and you knew that look far too well. "We'll talk about it, but right now, I'm here to make it better and take care of you. Did you eat?" You shook your head. "Great! Because I stopped by at the shop on my way... before the rain attacked me and picked up some stuff, including~" he said with an eager tone and walked towards the grocery bag you hadn’t noticed until now. He picked it up and dug his hand in for something. "Du du du du" he sang dramatically and slowly pulled out the familiar dark blue packaging. The love of your life, the source of all things good. Chocolate. The good one! Not the weird orange wrapping one you hated, but the blue one, the holy blue one, your favorite one. "I remember your frustration when you saw the empty shelf of horror last week and it was restocked today so i picked up three just in case." "THREE?!" "Mhm!" He nodded proudly. You could cry, finally, but for other reasons. "TaeTae you're the best." You walked towards him, hugging him tight. He was the bestest of the best, the hero, the savior, chocolate delivery man. Oh what would life be without him. A blush spread across his cheeks. "You did it again." He said shyly "Hm? Did what?" "You called me TaeTae." "You don't like it?" "... I do." -- Taehyung had you stationed at the kitchen table while he cooked. With a focused gaze he scrolled on his phone, reading the next step for the recipe while stirring the pot. You were pretty sure he knew this recipe by heart now, he'd cooked it for you before and he should be confident in it but seemingly not enough yet to put the recipe down. The kitchen smelt amazing and you could feel your hunger cry out for whatever was simmering in the pot. Taehyung gently tapped the wooden spoon against the pot as he added another ingredient. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked. That's where you'd left him hanging in your texts when exhaustion took over... "I just..." "Is it /that/ thing?" Taehyung asked, very much knowing of your source for distress already. "Kinda... but this time it feels different... I’m not nervous or eager, I just felt like I was waiting and waiting and what if I waited so long for nothing and I.... it doesn’t make sense but I just feel numb at this point and like I'm losing hope. Like every odd is set against me and I'm the only one dumb enough to still bet on myself." "And me. Except I'm not dumb, nor are you and I'll always bet on you. Always." Oh Taehyung... "Well, as your personal doctor and advisor and therapist and nurse, care-taker, comfort teddy and so on, I am going to prescribe you with some stuff." You chuckled. "Please go ahead." He placed a plate in front of you and another on the opposite end of the table. "Firstly, a good healing meal." "And you’ve already done everything in your power right now, you’ve been working hard. Maybetoohard." He mumbled under his breathe followed by a fake cough. "That said, let me distract you." "How?" "Well, some old school friends wanted to go out clubbing this weekend and-" "You don't like clubbing." "Hold on, let me get to the point. My suggestion is that you can come too, it won’t only be them. There will be the general club people too of course and I think most of them were bringing other friends or their girlfriends too so... it might be fun? If it sucks, we'll ditch and go to the midnight bowling place or noraebang, yes?" Maybe having some social interaction, an excuse to dress up and good music wasn't such a bad idea? The only thing bugging you was the potential mess there could be... and lately with your stressed mind you hadn't been the best at handling those environments, but after all this was just a club, with dancing people... it couldn't be that bad right? Bowling did sound fun too though... But you knew distraction and fun was what you probably needed. Maybe it wouldn't solve the issues but maybe it'd make it weigh less. The small distractions did a lot, a big one should do even more. "Sure." "Really?!" You could've sworn you just witnessed his ears wiggle from excitement. "I'll come." -- When Taehyung said "clubbing" you expected big flashy neon signs, a red rope and a guard and pulsing music coming from inside... not a giant base, a sax and a set-up of almost 4 different types of synthesizers. A jazz club. You should've known. The band was some sort of electro jazz fusion sprinkled with funk type band, as they introduced themselves as and they weren't bad, not at all. In fact this was a lot cozier than an uncomfortable packed nightclub. You just wish Taehyung told you so you could've worn your comfy flowy favorite dress rather than your tight little black one, wanting to fit in with the scene... Taehyung was dressed in black slacks, a green sweater and a brown coat that was hung over his chair, paired with his trademark assortment of bracelets on his wrist. Including the one you gave him for his birthday two years ago. He never took it off since the day he got it. It made you smile seeing it on his wrist. Taehyung's old school friends, the few you had managed to great during the evening were all really nice and most of them had their arm either around another or a hand held by another. You couldn't help but feel a little awkward, the questioning looks that didn't need to be vocal for you to understand. "Is this your girlfriend?" Taehyung just smiled, maybe playing it off was best... or did he just not notice the silent question? At first you expected a shrug or something but nope... "Would you like something more to drink?" Taehyung asked, leaning in so you'd hear him over the music and pointing towards your nearly empty glass. "I think I'm alright." "What?" "I'm ok." You leaned in closer. "Do you want to dance?" You and Taehyung were seated alone at one of the many tables as the majority were occupied dancing to the beats of the band and the rest drinking at other tables or mingling around. You had been up there at least twice, maybe even three times dancing the best you could and Taehyung always being by your side but your brain was starting to get a little drowsy. "I think I'm going to call it a night. But you can stay if you want." "No no, if you want to go home I'll come with you, let me walk you home." "I'll take a taxi its ok" "I insist." "So do I" the few drink he had had were enough to make his words braver and bolder. "It's late, I don't want you to go back alone regardless of if you take a taxi. I'll walk you." Fine. "Ok" Taehyung swept the remainder of his wine and grabbed his coat and waved some quick goodbyes. It was cold outside. Dark and empty... maybe it was good Taehyung insisted after all. He stumbled slightly, alarming you. Your hands instinctively reached for him and he giggled. "You only had two glasses I doubt you're drunk right now." "Maybe I wiwwle tipdie" he giggled, clearly acting up. "Does wiwwle tipdie Taehyung need help? Should I carry you on my back?" "No! I should be carrying you, do you have a blister on your heal from your shoes? Sore feet? Sore legs? Anything I can use as an excuse?" You laughed, patting him gently on the back. A cold breeze travelled through the street and you pulled your jacket tighter around you. "You're cold?" Taehyung asked "A little... my choice of dress wasn't the best." "I think you look beautiful." The sudden compliment caught you off guard. "... thanks." "Thanks? For what?" "The compliment" "I'm simply stating the facts." He said, looking to the side and slipping his hands into his pockets. "It sure is cold..." Why was it feeling awkward suddenly? Silence between the two of you would usually be comfortable... "Thanks for bringing me too." "Did you have fun?" He turned to face you again. "Yes, it was better than I expected." "I'm glad to hear that." "But let’s go bowling next time." "Sure!" He smiled widely. A source of warmth suddenly surrounded you and you looked up to see Taehyung's face turned away yet again but his arm resting around your shoulder, wrapping his coat around you and urging you closer into his side till your hips almost brushed against each other. The rest of the walk back home was a few minutes of silence, but luckily you didn't live far. "Home sweet home" "How will you get home?" You asked, concerned. "Ah..." he checked the time on his phone. "Well I've missed the last train... so unless I can find a taxi which so far I've seen none I'll have to sleep at the station." "No you're not, come, you can call a taxi from my place and at least wait inside instead of out in the cold." You said, grabbing his arm and pulling him with you through the entrance. "Nobody's picking up?" You asked Taehyung looked down at his phone with a confused look. "It keeps hanging up on me? I don't know if maybe their line is down or something?" "It would explain why we didn't see any on the walk back." "I guess so... so now what?" He looked up at you. "Guess you'll have to stay the night." He grinned. "Can't remember the last time we had a sleep-over" he chuckled and removed his coat. He was right, it must've been years ago... the last time you could remember was a movie night gone sleep over during winter when it had snowed so no traffic was able to move at all. You grabbed a spare cover and a pillow and handed it to Taehyung, sleepiness already present in his eyes. "Hey." Taehyung said, laying out the pillow and cover on your sofa. "If I have a nightmare can I come lay next to you?" He grinned. "If you have to." He replied with a puppy gaze. "Good night TaeTae." His eyes widened and he looked down at the couch. "... Good night." -- The question was when would you wake to the sound of birds chirping instead of the aggressive rasp of the snow plow dragging across the street? It almost sounded like it was more ir less plowing the asphalt off the earth rather than the snow. More irritating was that it just added to your unsatisfying sleep and rough awakening streak. One good morning was all you asked for... You sat up, slid off the edge of the bed and slipped into your slippers that were neatly set up by its side. A scratch of the head and an adjusting pull of the bun on your head and you headed to you first destination; tea. With heavy steps you dragged yourself out of your room and were met by the surprise you had forgotten was left on your couch from last night, sprawled across the sofa... in only boxers. Oh god. The covers were halfway on the floor, only covering his legs, barely. It was cold too but should you just ignore him... no, you couldn't... but what if you woke him up? He was only in boxers and you were already trying your best not to look but your brain had already registered that they were black and Calvins... please no more information... thigh muscles NO! Chest, focus on the chest. He was breathing, he was alive. Inhale, exhale. You carefully made your way towards him. His chest was toned... the type perfect to rest your head on NO! Messy hair... It really didn't help that your best friend was as attractive as he was. You bent down and carefully picked up the cover, pulling it back up over his upper body. He must've been really cold, his nipples- NO. You shook your head furiously to get rid of the thought. You turned around 180 degrees and marched to the kitchen. Tea. Tea. Tea. Tae. TEA! You could hear the covers rustle as he shifted, followed by a soft groan. Oh no... Please no. Although... why was it so dangerous for him to see you in your own home, making tea. I don't know! But regardless it felt like an action movie stealth scene for the grand heist judging by your heart beat. The boiler was too loud, the accidental clink of the mug as you set it to the counter too, the rip of packaging of the tea bag, the wind whistling outside! Sweat? You were sweating, stress consuming you yet again over the moist pointless little thi- "Hey?" The tea cup smashed against the kitchen floor along with your gasp and you grabbed the door handle of the kitchen cupboard for support. Taehyung starred at you with wide startled eyes. Maybe your screech scared him as much as his sudden presence scared you. "Sorry." He chuckled, voice so deep and raspy you could practically feel his vocal chords vibrate. Your heart was pounding hard. Could he at least have been swaddled in the covers and not in his boxers right now... You diverted your eyes to the porcelain shards across the floor. "Wait wait wait!" Taehyung yelped, holding his hand out to stop you from moving. But it was too late. The dark kitchen along with your giddiness had of course resulted in the unfortunate miss step. You sighed, lifting your foot from the chard as you felt something wet trickle down your foot. Taehyung quickly reached to turn the lights on, the bright shine blinding both of you briefly and making the view of him even clearer. "Stay there." Taehyung ordered. Your kitchen was pretty small so there wasn't much space to move without risking another wrong step. A cup of tea and now all this. You slapped your arms to your sides in a deep pout. Making a new cup now just felt wrong but you craved a cup so bad and it was cold... the floor was cold, you were cold... and not to mention everything hanging in form of heavy weights on your shoulders and chilling on top of the imaginary storm cloud above you right now. It's like your issues were mocking you and just making everything worse. Maybe the issue was that you related to the once-was intact mug. You felt split and unorganized, all over the place and dependent on things you knew you shouldn’t be depending your hope and happiness on but yet day after day you’d lose yourself in a visualization of a scenario of perfection were everything would be ok until again the door was slammed in your face and you had to start all over again. No matter how many times you felt like this time would be different and this time you were ready, this time it'd all go your way because the past was forgiven and your time wasn’t right but again and again .... Your patience was running out. You sniffed, wiping the tears from your cheeks with the back of your hand. Taehyung came back holding a broom and a dust pan when he saw your face of tears. "No..." he sounded panicked. He leaned down quickly sweeping the chards to the side of the kitchen and tossing the broom and pan into the pile so he could approach you. Strong lean arms embarrassed you like out of a 6 different angles k-drama scene. A hand found its place on the back of your head, softly petting you as the other pressed you closer to his warm chest. Never had you expected that hugging Taehyung would feel this safe. May it be because he was the one you could be truly vulnerable with or that he was the one that knew what was going on right now, but whatever he did... he did it just right. "You don't need to say anything." He whispered. "I know." He squeezed you a little firmer. "I know." He reassured. "Sssh" his hand felt so gentle as it caressed you. "It's going to be ok." He felt so warm. "I'm here." His skin felt so soft against your hands. "I'm not going anywhere." Your heart calmed down. Taehyung didn't pull away until you became silent and your breathing stable. But even then he didn't pull away completely, only enough to look at your face and caress his thumbs under each eye gently. "I'll reheat the water for you." He smiled softly and reached for the switch on the kettle. You didn't want to let go, not just yet. But he slipped away carefully and kneeled to sweep up the shards and discarded the pieces into the bin. He briefly disappeared and came back holding his sweater, arms slipped in and pulling it over his head as he entered, causing his shoulders to naturally flex slightly as he slipped it on. He grabbed two mugs from the cupboard, added a bag in each and filled them with the hot water. You tugged and fidgeted at your sleeve as you watched, feeling unusually shy in his presence. "Come, let’s sit on the sofa" Taehyung said and grabbed a mug in each hand but quickly came to a halt. "Your foot!" You had forgotten about it too. He placed the mugs back down and watched you as you lifted to check the cut. "Fuck." Taehyung said and quickly ripped a piece of kitchen towel off and handed it to you. Holding one hand against the fridge for support and the other wiping the smeared mess on your foot you watched as Taehyung quickly disappeared and reappeared again with your med kit. "Does it hurt?" He asked, rummaging through the kit. "No, it just stings a little." He pulled out some disinfectant solution and eyes you quickly up and down. Before you knew it he was stood in front of you, kneeling slightly as you felt his large hand grab a hold behind your thigh and his arm scooped you up on him. Your heart was back to its rapid pace again. He set you down on the sofa carefully and went back to grab the disinfectant and the tea mugs. He sat on the floor in front of you, soaking a cotton pad with the solution and gentle pulling your foot towards him by the ankle. "Ah, thanks goodness it doesn't seem to be deep." He said with relief, gently dabbing the cotton pad to the wound. It stung a little but it wasn't too bad. "All nice and clean, do you have cute band-aids?" "Only boring plain ones I'm afraid." Taehyung scrunched his nose. "Boo." With a band-aid beneath your foot and your longed for tea in your hands you sat next to him on the sofa. "An eventful morning." "I should become your fulltime caretaker at this point." Taehyung joked. "Not that I'd mind." "Will you pay me?" He raised his brows as well as the mug to his lips. "No way." You smiled. "Charity work is good for karma." "I already have good karma!" Taehyung protested, pretending to be offended. He laughed that trademark warm laugh that was like a smooth cackle that somehow always triggered a little firework to go off in your chest. You smiled, looking into your mug as if it'd tell you a fortune. ... you swallowed and looked up. In winter the sun rose late and had begun its voyage above the horizon, painting the sky a bright warm orange tone as it shined in through the window behind Taehyung. No. You didn't have feelings for him. You just felt some post-event shakiness and nerves and for the matter of a fact you finally got your much needed cry. It must just be your chest feeling lighter thanks to the cry. "So, do you have any planes today?" Taehyung asked. "I don't even know what day it is." "Good, I don't have plans either and it's Saturday for your information. But I do have a potential plan and that is, since I'm already here, to spend the day with you unless you have important to do's, which you shouldn't, because you need a break." He whispered towards the end. "A fmnn break." He repeated, biting his lip on the word to censor himself, but he got his point across. "A break would be nice... but when I try, I feel distressed as if I shouldn't be doing it because I'm wasting my time. I need-" "A distraction" Taehyung filled in. You nodded. "Then thou shall sit here and watch my live-in-action cooking show live from your kitchen." He said cheerfully, slapping his hands to his thighs as he stood up. "Do you have strawberries?" He asked. "In the freezer." "Yes!" He made his way to the kitchen, worth to mention is the open floor plan of your apartment so you could see him well enough from where you were seated. The soft messy curls on his head bounced with him as he walked. He dramatically pointed at you with a spatula in his hand. "Welcome." He said, speaking deeply into the spatula. "The pancake and strawberry smoothie extravaganza extraordinaire show with your host." He point his thumb and index under his chin. "Kim Taehyung." His goofiness never failed to bring a smile to your face. He went to grab his phone on the sofa table. "I need background music...." he hummed as he scrolled, spatula still in his other hand. "Jeopardy music 10 hours?" He looked up at you for an opinion. "Please no." He giggled and a calm upbeat song started playing from him phone as he put it back down and resorted to the kitchen. While frying up the first batch he was spaced out, humming on the theme tune to jeopardy anyway. You had made yourself comfortable on the sofa, lying down. The sofa smelt like him now. The same sweet comforting scent as the hug had... and his coat the numerous times he'd wrapped it around you when it was cold or shielded you from the rain with it. But speaking of memory, thinking back at those often occurring times you were also reminded about how a previous "friend" used to try and provoke you into being nervous and shy in Taehyung's presence. You'd been close for years and maybe she had an issue with that or something but she'd always find ways to tease you in way. Claiming Taehyung was giving you "looks" or "checking you out" in ways she as a self-declared expert in men deemed were of more than friendly nature. And since she as expert of men by that likely thought all men were the same, proves how reliable of a source she was. Taehyung he just.... you were close. She just wanted to make you feel embarrassed and self-conscious and make it awkward between you. You hated thinking about that. It made you overthink and feel awkward. Like an evil loop. You looked up at the breakfast chef, catching his eye as he quickly looked back down to the pancakes. You could get used to this view. Handsome man in boxers and sweater making you pancakes when you’re feeling blue, the headline in your head spelled out. The Zen experience of the kitchen fan being turned off brought stillness and Taehyung emerges with a plate of pancakes, disappearing and re-appearing again after denying your offer to help with the strawberry smoothies, plates, forks, knifes and every suitable pancake topping he had been able to locate in your kitchen. And a tube of mustard as a joke that you only kept in your fridge for when your dad came over to dinner and his weird obsession with having mustard on everything. It was probably even expired. "Enjoy your meal." "You're my hero Taehyung." You said, stabbing a pancake. "I can be your hero baby." You froze. "What?" "Haven't you heard that song?" He smiled. Oh.. "Hero? By Enrique Iglesias?" "Ah, now that you mention it-" "With the weird music video were goes on this road trip with the girl and then he's suddenly rubbing money over her body in this random stone house." "Is this what you binge on youtube at 2am when I wake up to 15 links and emotional texts." "Do not judge me!" You giggled. "I'm not, I like waking up to those texts from you. You sent them to me for a reason." Taehyung smiled shyly. "Yeah... anyhow! I have a suggestion, a proposal, a-" "Go on" "Since I'm your hero, but even I weren't. I thought maybe I could stay here a few days? Only if you want me to, of course. I just-" he became shyer. "I like to think that you seem to feel better when I'm around and you're going through a rough time so I'd like to be there for you, like you are for me." Your heart made its presence in your chest known yet again. "You should think.... because it's true." "So?" "It'd be nice." He smiled widely. "Great! But I do need to go home and pack some clothes and... some pajamas and Yeontan! He is a great comforter trust me, he has cheered me up many times when I've cried." "Cried? What were you crying about?" "Oh- uhm it's nothing, it's ok now so." He swatted it away. "Boys cry too." He joked, but it tasted weird. "But he's staying with my parents this weekend, but if you want I can go pick him up." He suggested. "It's ok, he needs time with his grandparent." Taehyung chuckled. "Well they love their grandson so I'm sure they wouldn't mind having him stay an extra day or two." -- You couldn't help but feel bad that Taehyung had to sleep on the sofa... His bag with clothes and necessities was placed in the hallway and the covers neatly hung over the backrest. "We could take turns and sleep in the bed every other day." "I told you it was fine." Taehyung insisted, again. "I just feel bad..." "Then let’s both sleep in your bed and call it even." "...." your cheeks felt hot. "See, so I'll sleep on the sofa. Don't worry about it!" What does he mean "see"? ... you were simply imagining what excuse to use as to how your head would coincidentally end up on his chest instead of your pillow. "Or we'll both sleep on the sofa, but it might be a bit cramped." He continued. "Maybe this was a bad idea..." "Hey no! No, I'm just joking. Don't feel bad ok." Taehyung's hands smoothed down your arms. "Beds are better at healing wounds on the feet too." You exhaled deeply. "Oh TaeTae..." "Doesn't this feel like we're having a pajama party or sleep over?" He smiled. "Kinda, should we build a blanket fort and watch movies?" His mouth dropped open. "I'm just kidding!" You laughed He pouted. "Oh you want to?" A nod. "You want to build a fort and watch movies?" You asked with more excitement. More enthusiastic nodding. You both cracked up laughing on the sofa together. "I'm serious though." Taehyung grinned. -- You lied awake in your bed, eyes to the ceiling. For some wild reason you both thought it would be a great idea to binge through the entire twilight saga series as a source of comedy but you only made it up to half-way through eclipse when it became too much to handle for both of you. The first movie was easy to mock and laugh at and make fun out if but once it got more serious and romantic in new moon it started getting a little awkward. To say the least, feeling flustered from watching twilight but not due to the movie itself but from the presence of Taehyung right next to you in your make-shift sofa blanket fort. You couldn't stop thinking about him. And he was out there... on your sofa, right now. And who knew if he was in cute polka dot pajamas with his hair a mess on the pillow or his tight fitted boxers and his hair tied up.. You bit your lip, crossing your legs at the visual. You remembered the first time you witnessed Taehyung tie his hair up and how it felt like being punched in the gut. It's not possible to be that attractive. "Then aren't you attracted to him?" The voice echoed in your head. Just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean you're attracted to them! Which is very much true. But Taehyung's personality was attractive too which was harder to justify the same way. And his person. And him. The entire package. You sighed. Maybe the stupidest thing you could do right now was reach for your phone and google "do I have feelings for my best friend?" Ah yes. A quiz. Maybe it wasn't so stupid after all, it'd say maybe you like him but you're not into him at the very most. Question 1, do you find them attractive. Well who wouldn't? And like mentioned it doesn't mean you're attracted to him. Yes. Question 2, do they like you? Pfft... what kind of question is that? How would you know? I don't know... or yes I guess? I mean he clearly likes you as a friend or he wouldn't be up to making all this effort for you but do they mean platonically? You ticked maybe. Question 3, Do you stalk them on social media? What the??? He's your best friend! The algorhythm shoves his posts in your face weather you like it or not. Sometimes. Question 4, Do you see them a lot? Yes. Question 5, Do you want to know more about them? You already know everything ... but what he cries about to Yeontan is something. Yes. Question 6, when you see them with somebody else who isn't considered their friend, how do you feel? Jealous. Question 7, when they're around you how do you feel? Nervous or self-conscious or nothing or i don’t know... well nervous AND a little self-conscious depending on the situation and if he's dressed or in just his boxers. Nervous. Question 8, Do you think about them? Yes. Always. Question 9, Do you laugh at their jokes? Another weird one but yes. Question 10, are they your ex? Huh? No. Definitely. A lot. You placed your phone screen down on your chest and let out a sigh. Maybe visualizing a kiss or two while in the shower was a crime after all... or was the question why were you in the first place? He was amazing in every type of way and you wanted to know if he was amazing at kissing too andmaybeinbed but you can't just ask him that or try it out, so you had to resort to imagination.... Who were you even trying to convince at this point? You liked him. Definitely. And a lot. The realization did nothing to help you fall asleep unfortunately. Another 15 minutes in dark silence passed when you suddenly heard the floorboards squeak. Maybe Taehyung was going to the bathroom or grabbing a glass of water... But the soft pats of his feet should've stopped by now... Your half open door pushed open a bit more shyly and Taehyung peaked in. Dressed in pajama bottoms, but no shirt. "You're awake." He said, whispering. "So are you." "I can't sleep..." he rubbed his arm. "I feel lonely." As if you'd deny him looking all shy and vulnerable in your door. You scooted to the side in your bed, making raise his brows in hope and anticipation, fingers fidgeting. "Come." You said, patting the bed next to you. The bed dipped gently as he lied down and you put the covers over him. He shifted onto his side, placing his head on your pillow. This was better. But since you just took an online quiz to realize you had feelings for this man currently shirtless in your bed, you couldn’t help but feel incredibly awkward. "How come you're feeling lonely?" You asked, trying to conceal your stiffness "To a start I sleep better when I get to hold something." He said shyly "Who?" You asked, intending for it to be a thought. "When I'm at home, Yeontan." Of course... "He lays on the bed and I feel less lonely and hearing him walk around or do something makes me feel soothed knowing I'm not alone... for the most part." "Are the tears you cry... tears of loneliness?" You could tell it triggered something in him. He bit his lip and nodded gently, eyes glossy. "For the most part it's just me and a pillow." He confessed. "But you could say-... it's something like that, yes." Face to face, mere inches apart. You thanked the darkness of the room that he couldn't see you blush right now but unreasonable fear that he'd somehow "sense" it in the atmosphere still worried you. You shouldn't have taken that stupid quiz it only made you start overthinking and it was probably rigged and the questions were weird so why should you listen to it? Get back to your senses! He's your best friend and you're comfortable with him! Calm down! "... I know it's dumb" Taehyung mumbled. "I know it seems like I'm this easy-going social butterfly with lots of friends who can find someone to hang out with within seconds... but when I'm alone at home, I just feel so empty. Like if nobody sees me, I don't exist. Thus when I'm alone, I'm not real anymore." "That's very philosophical, but what if someone thinks about you while you are alone? Then wouldn't you exist since somebody has you on their mind?" "But it'd be impossible for me to know and people have better things to do than walk around and daydream about me." It stung a little inside hearing him say this. "People are actually capable of multitasking you see, they can do these better things you speak of and think about you at the same time. I think about you a lot, sometimes I think about you while doing the laundry, riding the bus or taking a show- that sound's wrong." Taehyung chuckled. "But you get what I mean." "What do you mean?" He asked "That I think about you and that you aren't alone TaeTae, you never are. If you're ever feeling lonely, maybe think about me. If that helps. Or get to know yourself more, become your own friend or create an imaginary friend!" "I already do that." "Have an imaginary friend?" "Think about you." Oh. "... does it help?" You asked shyly. He shook his head. "It just makes me miss you and want to come to see you." Is it possible to experience a softer heart attack than you just did? Rather than a heart exploding in saw gore-level mess it gently poofed and became a small cloud of red feathers gently falling to the ground. Since when had you become a softie? Two hours ago you were all if there's no sex in the romance novel, it's not worth my time but now you suddenly felt an urge to ransack the romance section of the nearest library to read every cheesy romance story you could find until you could find one similar to your own. Your... own? What? With... with Taehyung? ... not that you’d visualize every male lead character as coincidentally similar to him regardless of how their looks were described in the book.... "Maybe I do need to spend some time with myself to get over it..." No! Stay here with me! "I can spend more time with you." Taehyung looked up. "I think that could benefit us both." He sounded more hopeful now. "Well, you're already here so it's also convenient." Despite the darkness you could make out the smile on his face that appeared. Cute. But wait... did Taehyung suggest he could stay here for you, because he felt lonely? He shifted slightly and the sheets rustled. His leg accidently brushed against yours and your first thought was to tangle your legs with his in a leg tackle war... but you still felt too on edge to act casual and playful with him like you normally could. You swallowed. "How long have you felt this way?" "A while... a long while. At first it was nothing but then it got worse and even more worse when I realized this one thing." "What thing was that if I may ask?" He sighed. "It's hard to explain... but, say a friend." "Mhm?" "A friend feels kinda lost, existentialism and stuff going on, doesn't like to be by himself, then he finds this person and they make him forget it all but once they’re apart it all returns to him again like they were his escape but only for as long as they were together." "Is that only with that one person or all?" "No no, only that person. And then he realizes he might be in love, or he's addicted to the person in a way, but in a good way not an obsessive way just-" "In love?" "Something like that." "You're in love?" "Huh?! What no! This was about a friend! I'm not talking about me!" "Then what did you realize Taehyung?" You could tell his mind briefly blanked in panic. "I realized that maybe I, as said friend need to find that person for me." "A person?" He nodded shyly. "You want to fall in love?" "I don't know... something like that." 'Something like that' seemed to be his catchphrase this evening. But in love? A person? His person?... that couldn't be you... could it? Did he want you to be his person? Were you his person?? The questions and confusion kept spiraling through your head, (finally) making you feel tired and exhausted. "I think... I just want to tend to someone else than myself, to not have to think so much about it and instead take care of somebody else." "Is that why you offered to stay?" "Yes and no, I want to take care of you because I am genuinely concerned and worried about you, I want to be there for you. But also, sleeping on the couch last night, hearing you tiptoe around the kitchen... it made me feel comforted." His voice sounded drowsy. "If you want... I can be your person in this scenario." You suggested. "You've already become.. person." He mumbled, sinking deeper into his half-awake state. -- You stretched your leg out one at the time, twisting your body gently and inhaling deeply into a stretch, gently batting your eyes open. You pushed a palm against the bed to get up into a seated position when something suddenly restrained you, heavy over your abdomen. Surprised, you raised the sheet to see the reminder of what you had forgotten last night. Over your waist, a lean arm with faint thin dark hairs and a few subtle veins travelling up the forearm from the large hand clung to the side of your waist... all attached to the source of warmth to your left, Taehyung. His dark locks a mess on the pillow, his bare upper body now fully on display in the daylight and his polka dot pajama pants haven travelled down a bit too far low for your sanity... Cursed be the eyes in your skull for travelling down the view. You would've noticed it sooner or later regardless, especially since your thigh was a hair between touching it. It, being the weird relief of knowing he got some deep relaxing sleep in... but with an awkward morning surprise... and his arm wouldn't grant you freedom without you accidentally or intentionally having to wake him up. You carefully shifted to at least have your thighs at a safer distance, but your bed wasn't intended for two people, so it was easier said than done. His grip suddenly tightened and a low groan escaped him as he shifted. Why did you feel fear as if you shouldn’t be present in your bed in which he entered himself. If anyone Taehyung should be the one fearing his life right now. His thumb caressed your side gently and it felt nice... soothing. Until his eyes suddenly opened wide with a soft gasp as you felt his morning hard on grace against your thigh. Eyes that pleaded and begged you didn't notice pierced into yours and you decided to play along. "Did you sleep well?" His hand quickly retreated to your disappointment. "Sorry i... I did it in my sleep it wasn't-" "It's ok, you said you sleep well holding something and being held didn't feel too bad..." "Well, in that case, I actually slept better than I have in a really long time." He said, voice raspy and deep still. He rolled onto his back, thankfully, and placed his hand behind his head. "Did you?" "Huh?" "Did you sleep well?" "In fact, I did." You said, answering truthfully and resisting the urge to put your head on his bare chest. If only the lord or whoever would stop testing me... "Hungry?" He asked. You nodded. "Great, I'll fix something ok, but close your eyes." "Why?" "I'm shirtless." ... right. You covered your eyes with your hands and the warmth left your side as he got up and escaped the room. You slowly got up, trying to win some time for him but a few brief seconds later heard the sound of the bathroom door down the hall closing and locking. Yikes. That went smoother than expected. You set up some tea, knowing Taehyung described coffee as the closest to unlethal poison you could find, you knew he'd prefer tea or hot chocolate and that there was no use to ask. You knew him too well. It was nice having him here. And waking up with a strong arm around your waist wasn't too bad either... if only you could've let yourself enjoy the moment instead of freaking out, what if he grew cautious now and you'd never experience it again? You sighed softly, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard. After a while, the kettle clicked and you poured some water into each mug. It had been a while now... ... was he meditating in there? There was no sound of the shower, or anything, not that you were listening. Would it be weird if you asked if he was ok? Since the kettle was off the entire apartment became significantly more silent. You heard a faint mumble. "Fuck..." You swallowed. Ear please momentarily turn off, mind and imagination too please. You reached to put the kettle back on but since the water was already hot it clicked off again after 5 seconds. The bathroom door opened and you braced yourself to not look down. Luckily, he was now wearing his oversized sweater or else you would've failed immediately. He let out a soft chuckle. "I spaced out." His cheeks were flushed red and glowing. Right. "I made you some tea." -- Why were deep topics always easier to talk about at night? Were people like clams? You wake up and it opens a little and once we hit the night the clam is fully open and then closes during sleep to a new no-talk-me-I-not-have-tea-yet to ask-me-about-how-i-view-existentialism cycle? Or were nights just vulnerable with the darkness? In that case you should metaphorically speaking be an open clam all day during winter when the sun goes into its own hibernation. But here you were again, just like last night, except... 20 minutes into the sudden power outage that made your impromptu movie night come to a halt. And it was getting really cold. Bundled up under a cover together, staring at the flicker of the candle on the coffee table in silence. "I was going to offer to make you tea to warm you up but the kettle..." Taehyung said with a soft chuckle. "The power will probably come back any moment soon." He said optimistically. As you looked out of the window earlier, you noticed it wasn't just your place, but the entire block seemed to have an outage. Unusual. But the current roaring rain storm outside likely had something to do with it. The wind was aggressive, the windows shook, it whistled in a creepy way and the trees outside rustled loudly. "How about we play a game?" Taehyung suddenly suggested, breaking off the silence again. He was feeling awkward, you could tell. He always rested his hands in his lap, fidgeting or poking at the cuticles of his nails when he felt awkward. "Sure, what should we play?" His face lit up. "Questions and answers? I can start!" "Shoot!" You folded your legs and shifted to face him on the couch. "What's your ideal type." ... he... immediately went there. "Looks or personality?" Taehyung shrugged. "Both." "Well it depends on the vibe they give off of course... and mainly. I guess tall, but it's not that important, wide shoulders are always nice." You paused to think, how can I describe Taehyung without it sounding like I'm describing Taehyung. "Funny, caring, optimistic, outgoing..." "Like me!" He smiled widely. You leaned back, squinting while caressing your chin, examining him playfully. "Hmmmn" He placed his hands under his jaw, like he was displaying his face and batted his eyelashes. "Not bad, not bad." He looked disappointed. "Just not bad?" You playfully nudged his arm. "It's your turn to answer. "Fine." He pouted, crossing his arms over his chest but cracking a giggle. "I'll ask you the same question." "Very original, you." "It's called recycling, so tell me." "I did." "Huh?" "You." Your heart froze briefly before beginning to pound. "Me?" "Mn!" He said confidently. "You're not bad" he mocked. You swallowed. "I have a question about the rules." "Go on" "If I ask you anything, do you have to tell the truth?" "Yes! Nothing but. So you better tell me what you actually think rather than 'not bad'" "Is the friend you talked about actually you? And am I the person?" He tensed up, swallowing. "I guess it was obvious..." he mumbled, rubbing his arm and looking down at his lap. "I just..." he began, but reluctance interrupted him. "I understand." You said. He looked up, seemingly surprised yet still tensed "I make you feel less lonely." He nodded slowly. "Which makes sense. After all we're best friends." You continued. "... right." He looked away. "Best friends." Taehyung reached up to move his hair away from his eyes, still facing down as if he was considering something. "So... what do you think of me?" His voice sounded more serious. Where to start of course he was gorgeous! Wide shoulders, a build you'd die to slide your hands down, dark big eyes, a sweet smile with plump lips, sculpted perfectly and his honey skin. Person wise... he was someone you'd want to have as your person. "A nice person" He scoffed. "Seriously?" He seemed upset. He finally looked up, meeting your gaze. There was a sparkle in his eye. The warm light from the candle made his face glow even more. "I mean person as in the person you have, a your-person" "A nice your-person?" He tilted his head. "You told me yesterday in bed that you can feel like someone is your person because they bring you comfort and make all your problems go away and you feel better just by being in their presence! A nice that-type-of-person." "But I was talking about you!" He pleaded "And now I'm talking about you." "You are my person, what do you mean?" He asked, placing emphasis on "my" "That you're my person too. Am I being unclear?" "No, not at all. I just wanted to hear you say it." "So you tricked me?" You scoffed. "Not really." He leaned closer. "But maybe I set you up and you simply walked into my trap." "So now what? We're just going to sit here in denial over the fact that we both admitted to being each other's person?" You questioned, feeling slightly panicky and picking at your nails. Was this platonic or not? "We don't have to" he grinned. "But to be clear, I'm not talking about you being my person as in my other half, my best friend type person, even though you are that too bit this isn't it." "Are you trying to tell me that you're in love with me?" He tensed up again. Fuck it. "Then just say it, stop confusing me with your riddles and metaphors and I won't do the same. Just tell me-" His hand pressed against the back of your head as he leaned in almost all the way. He caressed the back of your head gently and your gaze dropped to his soft pink lips with the tiny freckle to the side. You leaned in close enough to brush a gentle touch before Taehyung pressed you closer for your lips to finally collide. It started off desperate yet a little shy. You pressed back, grabbing at his sides and the kiss deepened. Your heart was pounding. Never did you expect he'd just go for it and kiss you when you showed some bold courage towards him but you didn’t have a slightest regret because he tasted so good against your mouth. His plump pink lips so passionate, so needy but also so gentle and triggering an explosion in your chest. Taehyung leaned over you, making you lay down on the couch as he crawled on top and it turned into an even wilder heated make out. Your hand tangled into his hair, his hand rubbed against the side of your waist under your top. Fearing it'd be the first, last and only, you wanted every single piece of this moment you could have. Unintentional, his touch triggered a soft moan to escape your throat, which subsequently triggered a groan from Taehyung. Making a sound like that with his voice should be illegal. It did things to you, things you didn't want to confess. But the box of secret confessions was torn open within seconds as Taehyung, a heavy breathing mess suddenly pulled away from your lips and landed by your ear, exhaling deeply. "Fuck, I'm hard." He groaned and you knew the box was flying out the windows with your filthy confession floating aimlessly around for him to hear but all you managed to stutter out was a choked "huh?" "If you knew how long I've wanted you for." He whispered. "How scared I've been of being rejected because I knew it'd shatter me." The hopeless romantic you knew he was made his attendance known. "A friend?" You chuckled. "Maybe I set myself up with that one, I admit. But I was hoping you'd catch on." He chuckled, still breathless. He planted a kiss against your neck. Were you about to have sex? Would it lead to that? Did you mind? Certainly not... Taehyung pushed up slightly, looking down at you. "May I?" You nodded and he smiled widely, pressing a kiss to your lips. Shifting, he easily found his place between your thighs and grinded up against you slowly with pressure, causing both of you to exhale into a sweet needy moan. Your feelings felt scattered all over the place but this wasn't the time to pick them up. You wanted to let go, to surrender, just for this moment. Let go of everything clawing at your back, clouding the sunny skies and draining you. There is nothing more exhausting than smiling pretending everything is ok while whatever inflated issue in beast form is clawing its nails across your back and the scars sting like lemon juice was just rubbed all over you, feeling disgusting and sticky, let alone in pain and with a sore back from the held tension. He grinded again, sensually this time as the tip of his nose travelled up your neck, inhaling your sweet scent. "Mmm" he hummed softly. Your hand made its way to his nape as he settled by your neck. "I could fall asleep here." He chuckled. "Right here in your neck, it's so warm and smells so nice. It's more effective than lavender." "Are you enchanted by my odor?" He laughed his trademark bubble laugh. "I wish you knew how much fun you are." He squeezed you, rubbing up firmer to you with a desperate grunt. "Fuck I can't take it anymore." He stood on his knees, crossing his arms in front of him and grabbing the hem of his sweater, pulling it up and off, exposing his soft skin and toned chest as it fell to the floor. His hand reached for the button on his pants but before making it to the zipper his attention returned back to you with his hands sliding up under your top and pulling it up over your head. "I just want to make sure again... is it ok?" He asked, eyes big. "Yes, touch me, kiss me, do whatever you want just don’t leave the couch. At least not without me." He smirked at this, finally able to surrender to his greed. Taehyung reached for the waistline of your pants, unbuttoning, unzipping and pulling them down your hips with your underwear going off with them. His fingers softly rakes over your skin as he travelled down your legs, your hips lifted to assist him and then they were tossed onto the floor. He reached for his own zipper again but you sat up, quickly swatting his hand away and reaching for it yourself. He was on his knees between your thighs. You pulled them down, sliding your hands over his soft curved hips, revealing his tight fitted boxers with little to any space left for his hard on. You swallowed. He blushed. Relieved that Taehyung took over the lead again you lied back down as his hands gently pushed you back, slipping the bra straps off your shoulders and reaching behind you to unhook and free you from your final piece of clothing. But with this one he wasn't in a rush. He slowly tugged at the lacey fabric, revealing your chest to him as he bit his lip. "Wow." He mumbled and his patience was gone. One hand grabbed your left boob, feeling it and squeezing it softly as the other slipped into his boxer to touch himself. He whimpered, seemingly trembling as a result of his desperation and the discomfort he must be feeling in those tight pair of... he let go of your boob, quickly pulling his boxers down and himself out. You felt your core twist and ache and his boxers joined the pile of clothes on the floor. Taehyung fell forward onto all fours on top of you. Fully exposed, fully erect and a full sight to take in in the dim light in the dark. Distracted and eyes travelling all over him, his hand suddenly cupped your chin, tilting it up for you to face him. His nose graced over yours in a sweet eskimo kiss before his lips, just as gently pressed to yours. Taehyung's hand slid down your neck, your chest and down until he found himself. Your toes curled as you felt his touch where you wanted him the most in this moment, the tip of him slowly sliding up and down your slit, triggering your need even more. Taehyung let out a shaky exhale. His lips were parted and eyes staring right down at your exposed curves. He positioned himself, slowly sliding the tip in, just to feel... just to get some urgent relief... he leaned his head back and his hands landed a tight grip of your waist. He couldn't take it anymore. Slowly and carefully he began to push. Making sure by studying your every expression that he wasn't hurting you and that it felt good. A sweet whimper escaped you, causing him to grin in delight as he pushed in deeper. He was thick... the gentle stretch he caused felt amazing and you couldn't stop yourself from clenching around him, making him moan and managing to make you even wetter just by the sound. With a soft grunt he slipped in all the way. Giving you a moment to adjust to his size, he moved his hand up to caress your cheek with the back of his hand. His touch felt like magic. Like a gentle feather smoothing over your cheek, but slender and strong, with long dainty beautiful fingers. You leaned into his touch. "Does it feel ok?" He whispered. You gave a reassuring nod. He pulled his hips back and thrusted back in, not too soft and not too hard he picked up a slow but deep rhythm for his movements. Your hands felt their way up and across his back, studying every curve and where he naturally flexed as he moved. His hands were firmly holding you in place at the waist, every desperate exhale and every shaky inhale sending almost an ASMR like tingle down your spine via your ear until your name suddenly slipped his lips. Most people feel a fuzzy like feeling inside hearing their proper name be called but this... this was unlike no other time. His deep voice, following a whimper, exhaling your name like a magic spell and it fading into a shiver-causing moan. To put it simply it was the sexiest thing you've ever heard and it activated a whole new part within you that felt foreign but so so so good. Like your blood had suddenly turned into liquid gold, all happy hormones releasing in a firework spelling the world "nothing else matters" in an imaginary sky. You wrapped your arms tighter around him, moaning his name out felt liberating. And it clearly triggered an equal reaction. His cheeks were already flushed and his eyes went wide. He smirked, growing more desperate, fucking your harder and deeper, chasing release. "Please cum for me." He whispered, pleading. "Please." He didn't need to place a formal request, you were already loosing yourself. The only sound echoing in the darkness being the roaring wind and rain along with your breaths and groans and the sound of his hips and your thighs. Wet, heavenly sounds to you. His sweet moans, his broad back, his dick... everything about him made you feel euphoric. The ever building tension below, the sweat forming on his forehead... "I'm gonna cum" he whimpered. Thinking your body couldn't possibly react stronger to him than it already was, it did. The thrusts grew faster, grunts louder and you could feel yourself leak even more. Back arching, tension growing... it felt even tighter now... you could feel him so well, every movement until you suddenly came un-done with a loud whimper to his ear, setting him off into his own orgasm, cumming deep inside with a string of "oh"s and groans, gritting his teeth together and tensing his face in a greedy expression. He slowed down to a halt, remaining inside, breathless on top of you. The light on the sofa table had reached its end and the faint scent of smoke filled the air as the flame went out, making the room completely pitch black. Taehyung's face nuzzled softly against your neck, inhaling the scent of you deeply and being soothed. "Wow." He coughed, followed by a groan. "Wow." You repeated, happy that the light went out so he couldn’t see your flushed face. "You ok?" He whispered, vulnerability present in his voice. "I didn't go to hard right?" "It was amazing." He let out a breath of release and an awkward chuckle. "I'll pull out.." he said shyly, moving his hips back slowly and gently, slipping out. To your surprise, Taehyung climbed off of you, standing on his feet. The cold air made your nipples ache and your skin shiver. You wanted your human blanket and source of heat back. But you didn’t have to wait for long. A pair of strong arms slid in under you, lifting you up with ease. "The sofa is too tiny." He carried you into your bedroom, gently putting you back down on the bed and laying down on his side next to you, pulling you close to his chest where his heart was still pounding hard. He hugged you tight, caressing the back of your head. His lips pressed against the crown of your head gently. "My good girl." He whispered, sounding almost proud. Your cheeks burned and a weird sense to cry bubbled up but you quickly swallowed it and hugged him tighter, burying your face against his chest. Never had you thought being called a good girl, specifically "Taehyung's" good girl would be able to move you to tears. But maybe it's what you needed to hear, mixed with the hormonal serotonin cocktail your body just released upon you. "You'll always have me." He nuzzled his nose in your hair. With a click the power came back on, including your pink hue nightstand lamp next to the bed. Taehyung's cheeks were deeply flushed, amplified by the flattering pink light cast over him. You giggled. Had this really just happened? Because it felt so right. Or was it just the relief of sex? But masturbating had never made you feel this emotional before... You looked up at Taehyung's face again and he smiled softly, his hand caressing your bare back up and down. It was definitely him.

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www-artforoddballs · 3 years

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Alright, so notice. Most of you probably know this, since you're following me for the Autistic Levi stuff (thank you, we're closing in on 100 followers!!!!), but people with autism can have "tantrums". I've kinda touched on this in a previous post (it's a full meltdown, but you can see that post here https://www-artforoddballs.tumblr.com/post/644803780958879744/autistic-levi-angstkinda-i-guess-this-is-him). For those of you who DON'T know, an autistic tantrum is not the same thing as what you'd think of in regards to a toddler or kid, it's just the word used for it. This is a mistake my mother and I made when getting the paperwork done while I was going through testing that later got cleared up lol

I had a tantrum yesterday, and so I figured that I could post about Leviathan having a tantrum, since it's still ready on my mind. I don't care if anyone else is proud of me for coping with it as well as I did, since it's a major improvement from last time I had one, but I am proud of myself!...with that in mind, here we go!!

There will be some angst in this post, like the last post in relation to this one, but like the last post, it turns out fine.

However.

Trigger warning for things such as self harm, both physical and verbal. If you or a loved one is self harming, either reach out to someone for help or reach out to that person to help, yeah?

OK on with the post.

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First of all, Levi's autism is part of why his brothers always agree to help when there's a raffle for tickets or something like that on the DDD messages, because he can get overwhelmed if they don't at least help, even if he doesn't win in the end.

They figured out that his autism was the culprit for this shortly after his diagnosis.

Now when I'm writing for Levi, I like to think that his diagnosis was around the early 1990s since, while autism was a separate diagnosis in 1980, it didn't really start becoming fairly accepted and expanded upon until 1987. Hence why everyone is mostly used to it by now, but are still sometimes off put by his odd behavior; for them, as beings that have been around since...the beginning of the universe, pretty much as far as we know, but for at LEAST since humans were around (so at VERY least 2.5 million years now, but potentially up to around 7 million years (if they haven't been around since the beginning of creation)), this would be like...I dunno, give me a second.

Waiting

Waiting...

Okay, so from 1990(earliest year I have in mind) to 2019 (the year it was released) is 29 years. That's a minimum of 1/86,206.89th of their lifespan, and a maximum of 1/475,862,068.96th of their total lifetime.

So this is a VERY recent development for them on the grand scheme of things, but I digress.

So they're still figuring everything out, especially as the human race continues to learn about the condition itself.

So the first time Levi threw a tantrum and they recognized it for what it was...it was certainly interesting.

What had happened was exactly the situation described; Levi had wanted to go to a concert in the human world and they were raffling off free tickets. Except, unlike now, his brothers hadn't offered their support. They hadn't in the past, why would this time be any different?

Except now they viewed it through a different light. Leviathan had an image in his head that he desired so badly and had asked his brothers to support him, hopeful, only to be rejected at every turn. That he was used to, but it was still upsetting.

He put that to the side, though. He really wanted to see this band, and these were VIP tickets where you got to hang out with the band for a few hours after the concert! They'd cost a LOT of human money, and while they COULD afford it, he knew Lucifer would be bringing hell down upon him if he used that amount of family funds on a concert. And his anxiety was already somewhat raised, so he decided to enter the raffle on his own.

He sat there for hours, waiting for the results to come in. He'd hyped this up in his brain the entire time; He'd win, go to an amazing concert, have dinner with the band, maybe even make some friends....!...and then the results came back. He hadn't won.

As per usual, our snek boi went into one of his rants about how unfair it was, but instead of going on a rampage or something like that, locked himself up in his room and cried, hating himself for getting so excited over nothing.

As I mentioned before, I've made another post about a tantrum/getting too overwhelmed slipping into something even more dire, as that's almost always what happens to me. This would be in the 90s, so this would be their first real incident with one of these moments where they had the proper diagnosis, so bear with me, there will be some angst here, but like the other post, it'll be fine.

So Mammon ends up feeling bad for rejecting his little brother, and, not knowing it was too late, decided to go to his room and offer his support. It was almost Leviathan's birthday anyways, and Mammon knew how rejection felt and how much it sucked. So, he knocked on Leviathan's door.

No response. He knocked again...still no response, but a quiet sob.

Right away, Mammon switched from semi-carefree to worried. "Levi...?"

Again, no response. He decided to just go in and check on his brother...

The door was locked. And he smelled blood.

"Leviathan, I need you to open the door," Mammon said with a half hearted chuckle, his voice now becoming slightly strained. "Because if ya don't, I'm gonna have t' break the door down."

"Just go away!" Leviathan cried from inside his room. "Just leave me alone, you jerk!"

"I ain't goin' anywhere. Either open the door or I'm gonna break it down. Those are your two choices."

A moment of silence, before Mammon sighs, stretching, as he transforms into his demon form.

"Alright, option two it is."

He rammed into the door repeatedly, before the wood finally splintered and fell to the ground with a loud thud. Mammon quickly looked around, eyes widening as he saw Leviathan digging his own sharpened nails into his arms, multiple raked wounds, made by the same culprit, carved into his skin.

"Levi...look at ya..." Mammon said, voice faltering, tears welling up in his eyes. "I...how long has..."

"Just shut up! Don't act like you care about me, I'm the freak of our family, remember?! I'm the one whose brain isn't right, I'm just a shut-in, good for nothing, re-!"

He was quickly cut off by Mammon going to him and hugging him.

"I don't care who you are. You talk about my brother like that again and I'll kill you. Alright? You're a little off, but you ain't a freak, and your brain works just fine as is. You're perfect just the way you are, and if anybody else says any different, I'm gonna beat them the fuck up. Including you. Got that? So what if you've got that fancy lable on ya now...? Labels like that matter, but it didn't change ya. You're still my cringe, annoying as hell little weirdo of a brother...and I wouldn't have ya any other way."

Leviathan fully listened to Mammon talk, before clinging to him, breaking down sobbing again, and trying to explain what happened through his tears, the older demon gently rubbing his back and allowing him to cry it out, making sure no more harm was done.

A while later, once Levi had calmed down, Mammon ruffled his hair.

"Let's get you cleaned up, yeah? Lucifer is already gonna kill me for breaking your door, but he'd be even more pissed if I just left you here with those wounds."

So they did. And Mammon, after telling a VERY angry Lucifer what had happened hours later, had surprisingly NOT gotten chewed out by the eldest brother. Instead, that day, the entire family had a long discussion, and they all agreed that if it was something as small as entering a raffle, or even if it was bigger but not an inconvenience to anyone in the slightest, they'd all help out from then on. It's not like it was hard, and it would save Levi from hours of stress and negativity toward himself and others around him.

They also made a plan for if a tantrum were to happen while someone was around, or if he became too overwhelmed and started to spiral...because, as annoying as he could be, Leviathan was still family. And they loved him, oddities and all.

---------------

Alright, so...that was the post! I hope it was okay. I know I've written about this type of thing before a little, but different situations can end up with the same negative outcome, like being in an overwhelming situation, or not being able to change your thinking and not easily being able to get over your expectations. I've personally suffered with both, and it's a regular thing for me, so I like writing about it, because maybe, just maybe, it'll help someone out, or help someone that isn't autistic understand a friend or relative or classmate or employee better. And I love these characters, I really do. The only ironic thing is that I see so much of myself in Leviathan, but I adore him and despise myself. Go figure 😂

Regardless, I hope you enjoyed, and if there's anything you guys have questions about (in regards to me and my experience), or any specific writing requests, asks are fully open!

Thanks so much for being here to support me, you have no idea how much it means to a little oddball such as myself.

#obey me #obey me headcanons #obey me leviathan #obey me belphie #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #autism obey me #obey me autism #obey me neurodivergent #neurodivergent #leviathan autism #autism #headcannons #obey me hcs

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classic80sand90smovieloves2 · 4 years

Text

Meeting and Dating Randall “Pink” Floyd

(Excuse the shit gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(Fun fact: I had no idea Jason London had a twin and literally just found that out)

- You and Pink met for the first time after you missed your bus. He’d just finished talking with his friends and was heading out to his car when he noticed you stressing over the payphone, trying to fish quarters out of your bag so that you could possibly get a friend to pick you up.

- You were just about ready to walk home when he tapped you on the shoulder and asked if you were alright. Sighing, you gave him a quick rundown and he immediately offered to give you a ride. You were a tad hesitant, mostly because you didn’t want to be a bother to someone you barely knew but he insisted, telling you that it was no problem.

- A wave of relief washed over you and you gratefully thanked him, following him as he led you to his car. To be clear, you did know of him. You vaguely recalled your friends telling you about him and how nice he was, and of course you’d seen a few of his football games so it wasn’t like you were just hopping into a total strangers car.

- The thing about Pink is that he’s pretty much friends with everybody. No matter who you are, where you come from, or what clique you’re in; he’s down to chat and he’s pretty damn good at it. You’d expected at least a little discomfort and awkwardness during your car ride but there really wasn’t any. He was as sweet as could be and you found yourself actually really enjoying the conversation he’d started.

- Once you arrived at your house, you thanked him profusely to which he only laughed and assured you that it was no trouble at all. Before he left, he gave you a smile and said he’d see you around school. As he pulled away, you realized that you might have unwillingly developed a crush on the boy. ...Little did you know he felt the same.

- When you went to school the next day you hadn’t really expected anything to happen. You figured that he’d given you a ride and that would be that but as you were putting your things in your locker you felt a familiar tap on your shoulder. You turned a bit and there he was, standing behind you with a smile that made you melt.

- He greeted you and asked if he could walk you to class to which you obviously agreed. This sort of thing continued on for nearly a week before he stopped you outside of your classroom and asked if you’d like to come hang out with him and his friends after school. You weren’t about to pass up an offer made by a boy you were really starting to crush on so you said yes. He smiled and told you he’d meet you by your locker after the final bell.

- You spent the entire day anticipating the moment school let out. The instant the bell rang it took everything you had in you not to shoot out of your seat and run down the halls. You took a second to relax, checking yourself over before you started the short trip to your locker.

- By the time you made it there, Pink was already leaned against the lockers beside yours waiting for you. You got your things and the two of you headed out to his car, driving over to where his friends were meeting.

- Once you got there, he introduced you to everyone and excused himself to talk with the guys for a few minutes. You spoke to some of the girls in your grade before he came over and stole you away, leading you to a more secluded area where the two of you could chat in private.

- Prior to this, you only ever really had short conversations so you were more than happy to finally start getting to know each other better. As the two of you sat down, he jokingly proposed that you play twenty questions. You responded “ask me anything” and so the game began.

- For a while, you were both just asking whatever came to mind: what’s your favorite color, favorite food, favorite subject, favorite band, etc. Then you got to the good stuff, the questions that prompted jokes and stories which had you laughing till you nearly cried. It was after one of these stories that he got to ask the question he’d been saving all week.

“When’s the last time someone took you out for dinner?”

“Hmmm,” you laughed, tapping your chin as you pretended to think. “I don’t know. I can’t remember.”

“How about tonight?” You nearly choked on your drink.

“Tonight?” You questioned, wanting to make sure he was saying what you thought he was saying.

“Or now or whenever....” he added, shrugging his shoulders as he attempted to appear nonchalant.

“Yeah, sure. I’d really like that.”

A smile spread across his face as you agreed. “Great,” he told you. “So I’ll pick you up at six?”

- Later that day, he took you to the drive-in and bought you that dinner he’d promised. The two of you went bowling afterwards and you ended the night with a long kiss in the parking lot.

- After a few more dates the two of you became official and you were both as happy as could be.

- There’s not a ton of pda in your relationship but he makes sure everyone knows you’re together.

- Hanging out on the moon tower.

- He’s always ready to defend you when things suddenly go south.

- He’s constantly subtly looking out for you. He always has you walk in front of him so he knows where you are, asks a bunch of people if they’ve seen you when you disappear somewhere, walks on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street, etc.

- It’s the little things that show you he cares.

- He can cuddle any which way you want but he’s a pretty big fan of laying his head on your chest while you thread your fingers through his hair. He’s a big baby but you’re the only one allowed to know that.

- When you want to be cuddled he pulls you into his side and traces patterns down your hips and thighs.

- Goodbye kisses.

- Handholding.

- Handshakes.

- Sitting on the back of his car with him.

- Getting him to think more rationally and stop overreacting about the sign up sheet or whatever else is bothering him.

- Inside jokes.

- Playing with his necklace.

- Constantly swapping cars throughout the night.

- It was the 70′s, everybody smoked weed, and he has a pretty good dealer so if you want to try a little bit of the devils grass then he’s down to supply you with it.

- Concert dates.

- Late night cruising.

- Sometimes he’ll stumble through your window late at night or really early in the morning, a little drunk and wanting to cuddle... or fuck.

- Early, early morning drives where the two of you are still a little buzzed but also tired.

- Cheering him on at his games even though he isn’t fond of playing.

- Hanging out on the football field.

- Ruffling his hair.

- Doing a lot of stupid, reckless shit together.

- Making out a lot.

- He’s a horny boy, especially when drunk, so be prepared to be felt up every once and a while, or at least for him to attempt to.

- Let’s not forget that Pink cheated in his girlfriend, alright? Scummy move, obviously, but I feel like their relationship wasn’t the greatest to begin with? Like he really did not seem into her at all 90% of the time and she seemed like she knew exactly what was up whenever he was doing something. So I feel like under different circumstances he wouldn’t cheat on his girlfriend.

- He flirts and teases you a lot. He loves getting you all shy and flustered.

- Hearing about all the crazy shit him and his friends get up to, he just scratches the back of his neck and shoots you shy smiles when you look over at him.

- Laying your head in his lap.

- Sitting on his lap, he sits really far back in his seat in general so you’re always able to gently plop yourself down without any fuss.

- Since Pink is a bit of an overreacter I can imagine he gets quite jealous. When he does, he doesn’t say anything but he noticeably watches you and the guy until you come over to him.

- When you’re fighting, he gets super passive aggressive and annoying so you tend to just sigh and give up after a while. Give him some time to himself and hope for the best, that’s all I can say.

- He really can’t stand seeing you cry. He hates when you’re upset, he always gets super uncomfortable and just tries his best to cheer you up as quickly as possible.

- Whenever you have a test, he always tells you not to worry and that you’ll do great. He likes being able to calm you down and be the reason you feel better.

- Constantly being introduced to new people since he makes friends every other minute.

- Hanging out at the emporium.

- Going to parties with him.

- Double dates with Michelle and Pickford.

- He has a habit of holding/pulling you by the belt/belt loops.

- Watching him and Dons little comedy routines.

- Being gently rough with each other, like he’ll “tackle” you down and start making out with you or you’ll slap each others hands away to keep each other from something.

- Letting him rant when he needs to, even if you think what he’s getting upset over is a little silly.

- Spending entire nights together.

- Jamming out to rock albums and going to the record store together.

- Playing pool and Foosball together.

- He’s really good at charming your parents and other relatives. Leave it to him, he’ll make them fall in love with him in the span of a barbecue.

- He loves when you gently touch him. Brushing something off his cheek, pulling something from his hair, things like that. He has and will always melt when you do.

- Letting him copy off your homework and notes when he ditches class.

- He says “I love you” sparingly so it always means a lot when he does say it.

- You don’t really talk about the future but he’s convinced it’s going to be much better than high school... maybe because you’ll be married?

#dazed and confused x reader #dazed and confused imagine #dazed and confused headcanon #dazed and confused headcanons #dazed and confused #90s movie #90s movie headcanons #90s movie imagine #90s movie headcanon #pink headcanons #pink headcanon #pink imagine #randall pink floyd #randall pink floyd headcanons #randall pink floyd headcanon #randall pink floyd imagine #randy pink floyd headcanons #randy pink floyd headcanon #randy pink floyd imagine

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meichenxi · 4 years

Text

*rant commencing*

ok guys let’s sit down and have a think about the way we talk to kids, particularly neurodivergent ones, and the weight it carries

the other day, I opened up to a friend about something really hurtful my best (and only) friend said to me when I was fifteen. It was a moment of emotional intimacy and the first time I had brought it up seven years later and, once again, I got laughed at and told I was too fucking sensitive

and ok maybe yeah I was a ridiculous child. I’m a ridiculous adult, that shouldn’t be surprising. But this hurt and hurt and hurt and I was trying to think about why this in particular and not anything else was so painful

so here’s the situation. at fifteen, like many smart kids, everyone thought the world was open to me. Ok I had no social skills to speak of and was ostracised by teachers and students and family, but I was an optimistic kid, and in a disaster of a home situation (involving kidnappings and court cases and running away and being out of school for a year and a brother starting drugs at 12 and living in a shelter and basically just a LOT) I was always the smiley helpful one. and apart from being defeated by very simple mechanisms like idk drawers or biscuit packets, I picked things up quickly. I took GCSEs early and extra and tutored others; I was a regional competitive swimmer in breaststroke and open water; I taught myself the flute and got into an international touring youth orchestra without lessons; I won a poetry competition for adults in primary school; I played competitive netball and was a long distance runner; I drew and sold my art; I wrote shitty novels and started making conlangs and was interviewed on bbc world about it; I loved performing and was invited to join a theatre company when I left school; and my biggest passion in the entire world apart from Tolkien was martial arts. And the best thing was for my parents - one of whom was disabled and didn’t work and the other who was a cleaner - is that I worked two paper rounds and tutored younger children and earned all of the money for it myself. blah blah blah. I was your mum’s friend’s kid.

well, I’m a disaster adult, so you can probably guess that none of that lasted for very long. and there are gazillions of people here with exactly the same story.

the point in question, though, was when I was fifteen and thinking about sixth form (the last two years of school in the UK) it was becoming clear alarmingly fast that you weren’t allowed to just keep doing everything you loved. at some point you had to make a choice.

but how could I give up swimming for music? Or music for languages? Or languages for athletics? Or athletics for theatre? or, actually, all of them but one???? how did people just know what they had to do with their lives? how did they choose?

the problem was, I said to my friend, I know I could do well at any of them, so how was I supposed to choose? (tactless and a stupid thing to say and also just not true but I was fifteen and simultaneously disgustingly cocky and cripplingly insecure) And he laughed and said, well, fuck you then.

oh noooo. poor meeeeeee. I’m so fucking good at things what do I dooooo

I haven’t stopped thinking about that comment for seven years. Every single time I think about wasting my potential, every time I can’t sleep because I’m terrified that I’m not being productive or useful and hating myself because I’m upset that I can’t do something right away and I know it’s a stupid thing to be upset about - I think about that comment. I’m lucky. It’s alright for some.

because, actually, being expected to know what to do with your life aged 15 is a fucking terrifying thing. we were kids at fifteen being told to make decisions as if we had all the facts, as if we weren’t also being blindfolded and spun around in circles until we couldn’t stand. Do you do what your parents say? what you think you want to do? what your teachers say? do you just stay in education even though it’s not for you because your dream is stupid, or because you don’t have a dream like everyone else seems to? are you supposed to have a dream?

*it’s NOT a stupid thing to worry about*

particularly when? well, when your entire self worth equates to the things that you output, the things that you do. so just for a moment, put yourself in the shoes of all of these wonderful, dazzling, damaged, crazy kids with big dreams and big hearts, kids that are struggling right now and kids that are our future, and imagine that you’ve been told since you were old enough to read or speak or walk that you’re just so very clever

isn’t it just wonderful how clever you are? isn’t it just great how we never need to worry about you? you’re such an easy child, it’s a blessing. always so considerate, so thoughtful, never making a fuss! isn’t it just fantastic how well you do in school? I can’t imagine what it must be like to have a child who went to all of those nasty parties. you’re so dedicated

raise your hand if you were only ever told you were good. raise your hand if you were never told you were kind.

so, what happens? you take a child, and you tell them for its entire childhood that they’re clever. You don’t tell them that they’re creative, or hard-working, or dedicated, or driven, or helpful. You let them know that it’s ok that they’re weird, because they’re going to be successful. what do you think parents say to their kid who’s crying because she has no friends and she doesn’t understand what the other children are thinking and why they would hurt each other like that? even good parents, the very best of them, say things like: you’re just more mature than they are. it doesn’t matter. keep your head down - you’ll show them.

your child, in the best case scenario, has access to her hyperfixation that makes the world big and bright and beautiful. she’s a bit weird, but it’s kind of cute. anyway, she’s good at it. and as long as she succeeds, conventionally, and you get to brag, then it’s ok that she’s a little bit unconventional.

and then things to break, just a little. and then, aged eleven, your child is having an asthma attack in the classroom because she got so anxious she couldn’t answer a maths question she couldn’t breathe. it’s ok, her parents tell her the next day. you’re just not good at maths - that’s alright. you don’t have to be good at everything

your child, because she’s perceptive, begins to realise that things don’t get better as you get older. people are just as cruel at 12 as they are at 7, and they’ll be just as cruel at 15. and then one day, as a bad joke because she doesn’t really understand humour, she writes a fake text to her dad from someone’s phone in legalese that actually has a secret code hidden it in that she knows her dad will crack right away because he’s brilliant. she thinks it’s hilarious. her father thinks he is being threatened, and spends the next week in meltdown, bedridden and burnt-out. and when she owns up, he turns and snaps at her, and says as if you could write something like that. an ADULT wrote this, not a fucking child

and suddenly, that cleverness they kept talking about? they don’t even understand that.

suddenly, no one sees her at all.

she needs to learn to be like the other kids. to be like a fucking child. and while she’s learning, she doesn’t speak for a year

that happened to me, but take your pick - I’m sure you don’t have to look far to find examples of your own.

My point is this: if you tell a child for their entire life that the only thing that is worthy of being loved is what they achieve, if every time they do something they love you tell them oh, you could be a famous writer! you’re so talented! rather than saying that you loved listening to their story, if you only praise them when they’re good and quiet and convenient and tell them that as long as they succeed, it doesn’t matter if they don’t have friends or if they’re miserable, and THEN you tell them to choose ONE THING and drop 90% of everything that makes them who they are -

what the hell did you THINK was going to happen??

because here’s the first thing. for many kids, whether that’s because of neurodivergence or age maturity or whatever, hyper fixations and hobbies aren’t just things they like to do. THEY ARE LIFELINES. they’re the things these kids go to when they’re hurt, angry, upset, because they make sense. for many kids, especially but not always girls, they are able to camouflage themselves and mask tendencies of neurodivergence because they’re ‘good students’. at a family gathering once, my mum, so frustrated at my inability and lack of desire to talk to any members of my extended family, snatched my German grammar book and locked it in the boot of the car. knowing that I escape and read it in the toilet was the only thing keeping me going, exhausted and stressed and overwhelmed. I vomited on the grass.

and here’s the second thing. you tell us from an early age that they only way we’ll ever be acceptable to the rest of society is if we succeed. autistic kids are fine, as long as they’re international maths olympiad champions. adhd kids are fine, as long as they’re famous athletes. if you’re obsessed with musicals that’s ok, as long as that obsession leads to a well-paying job as a successful writer on Broadway.

and then you tell us that we only have one chance at that success? and this decision determines the rest of our lives? and that we had so much potential when we were kids, and we better not waste it now? that not everyone is so lucky to be able to choose between so many things??

because being asked to choose between these things isn’t being asked to choose a hobby. when the only way anyone else defines you positively is by your success in one area, that becomes your entire identity.

so no, we’re not being too sensitive when you ask us to pick and choose what career, or what hobby to take forward. you’re not asking about hobbies. you’re asking us to choose what kind of person we want to be. you’re asking us to choose the most impactful way we can give back to the world, because we can’t waste those god-given talents. you’re asking us to figure out, still a child and hopelessly lost, what our purpose on this planet is. and you’re looking at us as if the ways that we survived all of these years, the things we clung to for comfort, are things we can just cast aside without further thought

ask me now, and I’ll tell you that’s not the way things work. we have second chances and third ones and tenth ones, we can be different things to different people and we can do different things at different parts in our lives, and be successful in different areas. life isn’t a fucking flowchart. and I’m still trying to come to terms with all the things I could have been, and my freak-outs about ‘wasted potential’ are so clockwork I could plan my calendar around them, but I’m beginning to understand that life doesn’t end when you’re twenty, or when you haven’t written a best-seller by eighteen. you have time.

but at fifteen? at fifteen, that question broke me.

do you know what you can do instead? you can show a little thoughtfulness. you can be kinder, and lead by example, and praise your kids when they’re kind too. when your son runs to you and shows you what you think is a better picture than you - a stick figure artisan, if you say so yourself - could ever create, you can actually just say you really like it. you can ask him if that’s him and daddy and the dog on a cloud. describe the picture back to him, and engage with this thing he’s made from his imagination - tell him the clouds he’s drawn are so big and fluffy and white, and ask if there are giant spiders living there. you know how to shut a child up? tell them yes dear, it’s wonderful. don’t be that person. promote your kid’s creativity - ask questions, have fun, play with this thing they’ve made - and not destroy it

when your daughter comes to you and shows you a song she’s written, don’t tell her she’s so talented or that she could be a musician one day. just sing along. ask her why she wrote it, and what she was thinking of when she did. ask her if she could make it different for two people singing it at the same time.

and if your child just really, really loves maths? let them do maths. it’s ok if their interests are stereotypical - as long as they love it and it’s fun, supporting them is wonderful. the best present my father ever got me was five hours of tutoring - an introduction to linguistics!! - when I turned twelve, starting on my birthday at 8am. I had never felt so understood and so loved.

as much as these simple things can destroy someone’s life, can stop them talking for a year, you have the chance to be that one voice of kindness that is a friend where a young person needs it most.

for me, this was the Bus Lady. I never knew her first name because I forgot immediately and was too embarrassed to ask again, but we got the bus together for two years right before I applied to university - she was a trainee teacher at my school. she saw that I missed tutor group and sat in the corridor every morning writing, and that I ran laps for an hour every lunchtime instead of sitting alone. but she came and sat with me one morning and asked what I was doing; I was developing a new shorthand and told her so warily.

she didn’t raise her eyebrows or say wow, that’s...that’s amazing. instead she frowned and looked at me skeptically and said ‘But why would you do that? There are plenty of functional shorthands out there - what does your shorthand have that they don’t? Tell me about it.’

I had no idea what to say

this was the first time anyone had actually ENGAGED in any capacity with what I was doing. and just like that, just by treating me seriously and asking valid questions and pointing out inconsistencies, I was a person who happened to have an idea that was in some serious need of questioning, and not a freak

there’s no way she remembers that interaction; she’s been a teacher now for year and probably doesn’t even remember who I am. But I had been this close to not going to university, to not bothering, and she made me stop, and wait a moment

she will never know the difference that that conversation and two months of kindness on the bus from a stranger made in my life.

so let’s be kind to each other, please. let’s be forgiving. let’s challenge each other and let’s engage with kids with special interests and listen to them talk. and so to any educators or teachers or parents or even other kids, I want to say - let’s treat our words seriously and with respect, like we treat our children, because they have immense capacity to hurt, because they can be used for good.

to any other fifteen year olds in a similar position, I just want to say: none of us here on tumblr have properly sorted our lives out, but I promise you it does get so much better.

you’re not too sensitive. you’re not a freak. you’re not only acceptable because you succeed. I know if you’re masking you feel you have to and it’s for survival, and I’m sorry, because you shouldn’t have to. and you should never, never have to think that you ‘have it good’ or that you’re lucky and are not allowed to hurt. there’s always some one who has it worse, and you can’t stop beat yourself up about that. fuck anyone who tells you otherwise. if you have gone through trauma, if you have unhealthy coping mechanisms, if you are depressed or anxious or otherwise mentally ill and some of it stems from this, I am so very very sorry. but you will be ok, even if you can’t write for a couple of years, or even if things change. you’ll get there. speaking as someone who is now writing for the first time in six years, drawing for the first time in longer, it’s scary and new and weird, but you will come out the other side.

and you do work hard. and you are creative. and you are loved. and you are so very, very kind.

*rant over*

#neurodivergence #neurodivergent #adhd #autism #giftedness #gifted kids #tag for this fucking awful school system?#neurodivergent kids #parenting #education #long post #meichenxi rants #mental health #trauma #depression #anxiety #mental illness #sorry for the scary tags I don't mean the post to be scary I'm just annoyed #and it got longer than I thought it would

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agathasangel · 3 years

Text

you deserve to feel good all the time (sally mckenna x reader)

for anon who requested: “oh okay so me and my overactive imagination have a new autistic reader idea 😅what about reader and her parent(s) goes to Hotel Cortez. her parent(s) aren’t the best, maybe they’re kind of abusive and don’t accept reader because she’s autistic. well, Countess ends up feeding on her parent(s) so reader is left alone. reader finds out and maybe has a meltdown, but Sally is there and surprisingly knows a lot about autism so she’s able to calm reader down and help her through it. reader has to either stay at the hotel or go live somewhere else because her parent(s) were all she had so Sally makes the decision to have reader stay at the hotel and take care of her because obviously she would do a better job than Countess because Sally knows more about how to help someone who’s autistic. and reader ends up bonding with Sally too because of how accepting she was and her parents were never like that. i know this is super specific and you don’t have to do it, but i thought i would share in case you were willing to do it. 😊”

so yeah basically that’s the summary ^^ also this is kind of an AU because the timeline I’m using does not line up with the show at all lol.

Trigger Warnings for meltdowns, death, ableism and mentions of sally’s drug addiction

I myself am autistic (at least according to my therapist) and a lot of these reactions/experiences that the reader has related to her autism are my own or close to my own. Hopefully I do this request justice and do a good job and don’t oversimplify anything.

You ran through the hotel, searching for your parents, but they were nowhere in sight.

Breathe, you thought to yourself, don’t break down, they’re probably just out getting food or something and didn’t want you bothering them. You just have a couple hours of freedom, you can let yourself enjoy it.

You tried to enjoy the few hours you got to yourself without your parents. Without them mocking the way you talk or walk or move your hands, without them grabbing you with full knowledge of how uncomfortable it makes you. No cracks about how you had to leave college because you “can’t take care of yourself”.

The first words your dad said after you checked into the hotel were “God, it would be so much easier if we had a normal kid, wouldn’t it?”

As if you didn’t have feelings. As if you weren’t a human being who could fucking hear them.

It was 4pm. Your parents didn’t come back.

6pm. Nothing.

10. No sign of them. Neither one answering their phones. Maybe they’re finally abandoning you the way they’ve threatened to for ages.

Midnight. Still nothing.

2am and you started looking again. You couldn’t find anything.

What happened?

You started to panic and could feel a full-on meltdown coming on.

You tried to be still and silent, but it proved impossible. You began to cry and cry uncontrollably, rocking and hitting your head, unable to stop. You felt like your life was ending.

Two women showed up beside you. One was older and appeared to be the manager of the hotel, the other was a bit younger, with crimped blond hair and heavy makeup. You barely noticed either of them, however.

The older one touched your back and you screamed. You hated when people touched your back.

“Hey, do you want to take my hand, honey? It’ll be alright, I promise.” said the blonde woman. You obeyed her.

“Wh-Who are you? Where are my parents? Do you know?”

“Your parents... died. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. It was The Countess..” said the older woman.

You couldn’t speak, but you had about a billion questions for the two women. For example, Who the fuck is The Countess?

“You don’t need to speak. Just breathe, okay? In and out, good. Good girl. I’m Sally, by the way. This is Iris. You’re gonna be okay, I promise. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.”

You waved, not knowing what to do, completely overwhelmed.

“You know what, it’s late. I’m gonna take her back to my room and have her rest. We’ll deal with the rest of this shit tomorrow when she can talk and isn’t so clearly exhausted,” said Sally.

“I-I.....can..... talk. It’s...okay.” you said, each word making you more spaced out and tired.

“No. You’ve been through too much. I’m taking you up to my room and you’re gonna rest. You don’t have to speak or do anything you don’t want to do.”

You followed Sally, so scared and tired and in need of some damn sleep.

“You’re safe with me. I promise. Here’s, um, the bed. Get some sleep. I’ll be right here if you need anything. The Countess doesn’t want to hurt you either, I think she wanted to- it doesn’t matter now.”

“Who is... The C-Countess?”

“It’s a long story and you likely won’t believe me until you meet her. But it’s alright, you’re safe. I’ll protect you. Can I come over there and hold you?”

You nodded. Sally got on her bed next to you and put an arm around you. You winced as she touched your upper back.

“You don’t like when people touch you there, do you?”

You shook your head no, and she put your arms around your waist instead.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, I understand.”

Sally made you feel more comfortable speaking and you said,

“My parents didn’t understand that. They used to touch me there as much as they could, just to upset me. They laughed at me trying to keep my wet hair off my back when I took a shower. They thought it was funny.”

“What does that feel like to you?”

“I don’t know. It doesn’t, like, hurt, but it’s terrible, it makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.”

“Aw, honey...”

“It’s dumb, I’m sorry I’m so sensitive.”

“Hey, no, don’t apologize. You know, you remind me of my baby sister. I loved that girl so much when we were growin’ up. I practically raised her. So God only knows how she turned out as good as she did. Our parents were terrible, they were never there. She was the only one who stayed with me. Until she didn’t.”

“What happened to her?”

“It was all my fault, really. I put her in danger. I sold drugs in the 90s, and I started using when we were living together. She was in school, and I had to find her somewhere safer to live. So I did. She’s okay, very successful actually, and she’s still alive. I’m the one who died young. I miss her.”

“You... died? What? I’m sorry, you-”

“Yes. I’m a ghost, The Countess is a vampire, I think Iris might also be a vampire now too? I don’t know. I know you think I’m crazy now but trust me.”

Sally saw your look of disbelief, then held out her hand and said, “Watch.”

As she spoke her fingers began to disappear and reappear.

“What-”

“I’m a ghost. I can alter the way I’m seen by others, if I want to. I’m surprised other ghosts don’t do it more often really. One time I scared some kid by making all my teeth fall out. It was awesome. I didn’t wanna scare you though. I like you.”

“Thanks?”

“Sorry, I-”

“No, it’s- um, how did you die?”

“Iris fuckin’ pushed me out the window.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“What was your sister like?”

“She was the best. Sweet, talented, sensitive. But people didn’t understand her. I did, though. At least best I could. We only had each other. Our parents didn’t care, the kids at school bullied her relentlessly. I had to protect her. She sometimes had meltdowns like the one you had earlier too-”

“I’m sorry-”

“No! It’s not your fault! You were terrified. Anyone would be. It was pretty intense though, I was worried.”

“Was your sister autistic like me?”

“She was. We didn’t know for sure until after she stopped living with me, but we both kinda knew.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, it’s almost four in the morning, you really gotta get some sleep. Come here.”

You did, and you fell asleep in Sally’s arms.

When you woke up, Sally was still there, as well as another woman, blonde and glamorous. They were arguing.

“What do I do then if you don’t want me to turn her? Kill her-”

“Please don’t hurt her, I can- she-”

Sally noticed you were awake, and saw your scared face.

“It’s okay, no one’s gonna hurt you. I’ll protect you.”

The blonde woman who you assumed was The Countess approached you.

“Do you have anywhere to go?”

You shook your head no. Sally spoke up for you, intuiting that you must be stressed.

“She can stay with me. I’ll make sure she’s safe. She won’t bother you or anything. She’s sweet and quiet and-”

“Sally, it’s okay. You want her, you keep her.” said The Countess.

“Alright. Thanks. Can you get out of my room now? You’re freaking her out.”

She left without saying a word.

“I’m sorry about that, (y/n). You’re safe here. You can stay as long as you need to. I’ll be here. This is a dangerous place but I’ll make sure you’re safe, alright?”

“Okay.”

You still felt sad. Not about staying with Sally, you liked her, but about the way The Countess talked about you. The way your parents talked about you.

“Hey. I just want you to know that I don’t see you as some kind of pet or anything. I know that’s what you’re thinking, that’s how people treated my sister sometimes too. It was awful. No, I just want- I just want you to be okay. I want someone to spend time with. it’s awful lonely being a ghost, but I thought maybe if-”

“I understand, Sally. I like you a lot, and I want to stay here. It’s just sad the way most people see me.”

“It isn’t your fault, you know. I need you to know that.”

“I do. You make it easier to feel okay because you’re so nice to me.”

“I’m glad. You deserve to feel good all the time.”

You started to tear up a bit. No one had ever said that to you before. You were always expected to make yourself uncomfortable, speak when you didn’t want to, shut up when you wanted to talk, wear clothes that pinched, let people touch you when it made your skin crawl, and you were still made fun of because still, somehow, none of it was enough. But with Sally you didn’t have to do any of that, and yet you still felt loved by her in a way that you never have been before.

“Aw, hey, don’t cry. You’ll be okay. I’m gonna make sure of it. I can’t actually leave the hotel, but I can make sure you get everything you need. Are you a picky eater by any chance?”

“A little bit, but not as much as I used to be.”

“Alright. And you’re good on clothes?”

“I think so.”

“Good. I’ve gotta say, I’m excited. It’s been so long since I’ve felt a real connection to anyone here.”

“You really feel a connection with me?”

“Yes, honey, I do. Do you.... feel the same way?” Sally asked you. She said it as if she was worried you may say no.

“I do, Sally. I really do. I know how it feels to be lonely like you are. It’s how I’ve felt my whole life. Maybe... I...”

“Maybe you’ll learn to love it here. Once you’re comfortable I’ll introduce you to the other ghosts. They’re annoying, but we’re still a family or whatever it is they call it. They’ll like you. I promise.”

You spent the rest of the day in Sally’s room with her, barely talking, not really even needing to talk. She was the one who broke the silence by telling you

“I like this. Just being here.”

“Me too.”

“I want to kiss you. Can I?”

“Yes.”

You had never been kissed before, but you let Sally be your first. You felt so... loved by her as she kissed you and held you lightly by your waist.

You stayed in the hotel with Sally, and it quickly felt more like home than anywhere else you’ve ever lived. You became a part of the family, and you and Sally fell deeper in love. Sally protected you, knowing the dangers of the hotel, and made sure you felt okay. Your meltdowns became far less frequent as you were no longer being forced to be someone you weren’t.

#my fics

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tema-makes-art-sometimes · 3 years

Note

002 | germano?

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

002 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it.

No idea but it was a long ass fuck time ago. Liked it for years but didn’t really start enjoying it until I started writing Romano myself.

my thoughts:

This ship makes me so genuinely happy man. I know GerCanMano is my flag ship but I love Germano just as much and I at least have a few crumbs of content for them instead of the other which has none. Germano just like-- Seeing Romano in a healthy relationship and seeing Germany happy makes me happy.

What makes me happy about them:

I’m not one for slow burns all the time but Germano to me is one of those slow burn romances I really enjoy. Romano is a sassy and salty flirtatious gentleman who keeps measuring himself up to the big broad and awkward-but-gold-at-heart class president who doesn't understand why the guy gets so upset around him and tries his best to remedy the smaller man’s anger.

The two just slowly developing, starting as rivals with Romano wanting the attention from his brother that Germany gets (and possibly the smallest bit of envy about measuring himself up to ger in macho-ness) and Germany just wanting to understand Romano and just like- how he ticks. Them slowly bonding over the simple things, realizing they both love mechanics and gardening and cooking. Romano being impressed at Germany’s baking (bonus points if say Vene has been bringing home baked goods for ages and he thought they were just from a bakery Vene liked but it was just Ger trying to get rid of the food hes stress baking) and Romano getting to show off his cooking skills. Romano feeling a bit of pride when he makes Germany laugh at some shitty joke or snarky comeback, he just hears that little wheeze or chuckle under Germany’s breath and knows he did that.

Romano having a whole I wont say I'm in love crisis when he realizes hes falling for Germany because sure hes cute and all but like what no. My Romano is very flirtatious but emotionally withdrawn he loves to flirt around but he doesn't actually think about long term relations cause he never expects people to care about him that way so falling for Ger throws him for a loop. But he knows he has to make some decision on it because he can’t get Germany out of his mind but the thought of Germany saying no scares him more than anything else ever has and the thought of breaking Germany's heart makes him more angry than he thought he’d ever feel

Meanwhile Germany is a mess because he has no idea what hes doing all he knows is that Romano’s smile makes him melt and every time he thinks of the future he thinks about the two of them passing tools to each other over the hood of a car and kneading foccacia together and hes doing all of the research he can to try and perfectly convey how he feels and it only works when he for once throws out his plan and just speaks from his heart and stops over thinking everything. And its wholesome and personal and cute and Romano starts crying halfway through which freaks Germany out cause he doesn't want to force anything and oh god did i make you uncomfortable but before he can apologize and backpedal Romano just grabs him by the shirt and pulls him down into a smooch and for once in his life Roma doesn't instinctively jump and when someone reaches out to hug him.

What makes me sad about them:

That they get sidelined for other ships and that people cannot have Germany or Romano exist in a narrative without Veneziano having something to do with it.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

People assuming Germany and Romano would be abusive with one another because Romano acts snappy and dismissive around him when in reality he does the same exact behavior to literally everyone else; America, Spain etc. But Germany is the one that’s abusive, and not the others. Germany’s never been shown to hate Romano, confused and rolling his eyes at his insults sure but never hatred.

A lot of people take this in the direction that they hate or abuse each other or worse, like Germany would cheat and use both brothers. Which is just not true, let alone Romano is too much of a blunt mother fucker to let it happen. He wouldn’t take that. Being used or measured second to his brother is so common to him you think he would just lay down and let that happen? No. And Germany isn’t the sleep around without a care or being in a relationship with two people because he can’t decide which he likes more type the guys a romance moron he doesn’t know how to date one man let alone commit adultery.

Which sucks because things like the chauffeur strips show that Romano and Germany are on at least amicable if not friendly terms, Romano is just being Romano, he does the same pissy but nice energy that he does to Spain and America to Germany. And there’s so much there that could be played with, of Romano being reassured by Germany that he’s not this evil bad boy in fact his brother can be worse than he is, and Germany would know Vene has been attached to his side for ages he would know Vene at his worse. Romano showing off to Germany, impressing him that yes Romano can in fact work hard when he wants to and feels inclined to. Which would gain him respect from Germany because he’s so used to doing it himself it’s always a pleasant surprise when people help him or don’t leave him to do everything.

But often in fics this is squandered for the whole ‘Germany’s married to Vene but he’s in love with Romano oh no conflict drama’ and they never make him choose. Or worse he has him two time one and then the other which just isn’t even fucking in character. 90% of the fics I’ve found on AO3 have the under current of how does their relationship effect Vene, how does Vene feel about it or how is he involved and it’s so stupid. It’s only ever done with Romano, never to Vene, Romano is always treated like an extra or an asset to Veneziano and its never the other way around. People don’t write Gerita fics and have the whole story about how Romano feels about it.

Germany’s feelings toward Vene can easily be stated in that ‘he’s just my friend’ it’s so simple but instead often its paragraphs on paragraphs of Germany grappling with his feelings for both and I’m just not interested. If I wanted to read about Germany’s feelings toward Italy, I’d read a Gerita fanfiction. Also you can’t tell me that if Vene found out about the two being interested or even one of them being interested in the other he wouldn’t start playing matchmaker he absolutely would. Hell if you want that “conflict” have Vene be jealous he’s petty enough to do that!

I’m willing to take the L on this and admit I just have higher standards, but I just want a fic that has them in a relationship from the start or they build up to it but not have the fic end the moment they get together or have their first date. One that doesn’t focus on a side plot about Vene and Germany’s feelings toward Vene. Where they just get to be wholesome together, piece their feelings apart together, and develop their love for each other together.

TLDR: I’m very salty about Germano getting the short end of the stick and want to see more sweet domestic germano.

Things I look for in fanfic:

For it to exist and for it not to be a vector to talk about Veneziano’s opinions on their relationship. I just want wholesome content of Germany and Romano building a relationship or a life together, AU or Canonverse wise. The cute dates, working on cars together, gardening, baking and cooking-- Germany playing piano or flute while Romano sings. Them dancing together. Romano taking Germany out to tour and sight see. Romano forcing Germany to cuddle with him in front of the fireplace if they go up during winter to his place cause he hates the cold and his block of a boyfriend is very warm.

My happily ever after for them:

I don’t really think about happily ever afters for them cause as nations their lives move on, they can’t really have kids but they can live together, work together, love together and honestly that’s enough for me.

My kinks:

These will be below the cut, because of ns//fw mentions.

(general sex discussion, bd//m discussion, toys and other such ns//fw things.)

Romano is a bottom little pillow princess but despite that he has the most control in the bedroom. Germany doesn’t lack interest but when it comes to instigation it’s fewer and far between, Romano has more of a sex drive than him. Germany’s more into kinks than Romano, but he has trouble being confident enough to do it so Romano is often baiting him into it. He’s a brat who wants to be tamed and Germany doesn’t mind Romano being rough with him and vice versa.

Romano’s more used to rough and tumble, so when Germany is very slow soft and sincere he gets flustered really fast and can fall apart a lot quicker. He also will cry when Germany compliments him too much early in the relationship. They have a lot of safe words at Germany’s request so if either of them get too overwhelmed they have a safe out and will just vibe and cuddle until the other feels better enough to continue.

Romano will give Germany is rope bunny fantasies every once and a while and tie him up, he’s not into much more than handcuffs and collars but Germany enjoys it so he doesn’t mind. He loves when he can convince Germany into roleplay and let Germany get into a more confident ‘character’. His favorite things are bites and blowjobs. Leaving Germany covered in red marks and scratches is his favorite and he loves the rare sight of Germany squirming under him.

Germany loves to body worship Romano, and messages all of the messages. Romano doesn’t like Germany dragging it out but sometimes he can’t help himself cause he just loves how pretty Romano his and he wants to just touch him all over. He loves when Romano plays with his hair (at least in the bedroom), and since Romano is way more vocal than he is he loves coaxing little sounds out of him through different touches and kisses.

#germano #hws #hws germany #hws romano

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im-whatchamccallit · 4 years

Text

Risking It//Mark Tuan (Got7)

Part 2|Masterlist|Rules

Request: YAY I’M SO EXCITED THAT YOU’RE BACK!! I hope you’ve been well (: I’ve missed you and your writing! May I request a college boyfriend Mark Tuan story! You can write it about whatever you want I just love the idea of Mark as a college boyfriend he gives me those vibes. Please make it fluffy and smutty if you’re feeling adventurous ;) Hahaha thank you so much! Have a wonderful day 😁😁😁

Pairing: Mark Tuan x Reader

Genre: College! AU, fluff but mostly smut (sorry, the hoe in me took over)

Warnings: sexual content (oral sex, fingering, mentions of overstimulation), kinda poorly written because I’m scatterbrained and couldn’t find a perfect concept lol

Words: 3.9k

You bit your bottom lip as you tried to focus on what your professor was saying, writing notes from the words she spoke in fear it’d be on a future pop quiz, but you couldn’t focus with the pair of eyes boring into you. You were trying to ignore Mark but he refused to look away, wanting you to look at him as he sat by idly at your teacher’s desk.

You weren’t sure what to expect when Mark was announced as the TA for your class, but you didn’t expect him to be, well, himself. You figured he’d try to be professional and fair, giving everyone equal amounts of attention and help whenever necessary, instead he’d always find his way to you, cracking jokes and even flirting. You were doing extremely well in this course, not needing the extra help which upset him a bit, so during times when he couldn’t talk to you up close, or text you in case your teacher saw, he’d stare, hoping to have a silent conversation with you to ease his clingy nature. But you weren’t catching on, his lips threatening to form a pout as he looked away.

“Mark.” His head snapped upwards as your professor called him, his body standing as he waited for her instructions.

“Can you hand out the graded test please? They’re on the corner of my desk.” He nodded, mentally cheering as he prepared himself to speak to you for the first time today.

Despite your professor speaking, you tuned her out, watching Mark anxiously as he went to each person, congratulating those that did well and telling others they can retake the test another day to salvage their grades. You were nervous. You weren’t as confident in this test as you were others and the idea of getting anything less than a 100 made you want to cry. You couldn’t even find ease in the way Mark was approaching you, the smile on his face might be because you did well or because he just wanted your attention, your mind screaming for it to be the former.

Mark gently handed you the booklet like test, your eyes immediately landing on the 98 that sat on the top of the front page, the pressured feeling in your chest not leaving even as an audible sigh left your lips while his hand rested on your head, causing your eyes to meet his.

“Good job.” You couldn’t help but give a small smile, finally giving him what he’s been wanting to see all day.

“Professor Ahn,” One girl, Yeeun, spoke up, everyone’s attention falling to her as she stood.

“Considering your TA is the one who graded the test, and is also (Y/n)’s boyfriend, don’t you think there’s a bit of bias on his part?”

The way she looked over at the both of you as if she had won some battle didn’t sit right with you, your eyes narrowing into a glare while Mark only smirked, continuing passing out the test as your professor sighed heavily.

“Ms. Shin, Mr. Tuan made me aware of his relationship with Ms. (Y/L/N) the day he arrived, which is why I personally grade all her test myself. In other words, the score (Y/n) received is not only valid but the only one to reach over 90% in this class, so I suggest you focus on your own grades instead of worrying about those two.” Mark wanted to laugh at the way she sat down in such a defeated state, scowling at the 73 on the paper as if it were a nuisance.

Professor Ahn repeated Mark’s words, reminding everyone that retakes would happen for the next two days during her free periods and after school before officially dismissing everyone, your body moving a bit slower than everyone else so you were left behind, Professor Ahn heading into her personal office just behind her desk while you approached Mark, his face in a cute pout.

“You didn’t look at me today.”

“I was nervous.” You responded, reaching to cup his face before bringing him into a soft kiss, pulling away before he could take it any further.

“What’s your next class?” He asked, reaching for your hand to lead you out of the room.

“I’m actually done for the day. And, I know you’re free too, so I figured we could just hang out.” The look you gave was hinting to something that could only spell trouble, yet he was hoping it was exactly what he was thinking, his lips forming a smirk as he stepped closer to you.

“Alright, and just where are we heading exactly?”

“I’ll give you a hint; we’ll be at my place, in my room, on a desk.” He didn’t waste a second dragging you down the busy halls, that hint more than clear for him to understand.

Yet he didn’t understand. Well, it was more like you tricked him.

By ‘on a desk’, he was hoping for something with you laid out beneath him with a lot less clothing involved and more x-rated touching. Instead, you were still in the baby pink high waist skirt and white sweater you wore for class earlier, the once seemingly normal and innocent outfit driving him crazy now, the only touching he received were pokes to the temple of his head whenever he read a question from your graded test unenthusiastically, obviously bummed by how the situation turned out. To think not scoring a perfect 100 would bother you so much that you’d make him study with you until you were ready to retake the test.

“Come on, the faster we do this, the faster I can learn what I got wrong.”

“(Y/n), you don’t need to retake the test. You have the highest score of your class, professor Ahn said so.”

“Yeah but what if someone retakes it and does better than me?”

Mark sighed, knowing how stubborn you were when it came to your grades, but he didn’t like the competitive side of you that came with it. He admired your persistence, but watching you drive yourself crazy over something so miniscule was heartbreaking, like when your calculus 3 teacher refused to let you retake his quiz and you couldn’t do anything but cry for days because that was your hardest class and you knew you could do better. But how could he force you out of a habit that he admittedly fell in love with? It was a complete contradiction.

“(Y/n),” you shifted your gaze from the notes and test in front of you to look at him.

“What are three cyanobacterial species?” Your eyes wandered from him, so many words crossed your mind, trying to find the right answers to the sudden question.

“Nostoc commune, nostoc punctiforme, and nodularia spumigena… I think.” You said slowly, watching Mark pull the packet open and flip to the third page, showing you the exact question he asked, an ‘X’ right next to your answer.

“The reason you didn’t get a perfect score is because you missed this one question. You didn’t get it right because you’re always freaking out. But now that you know the answer, and know that you always panic at the idea of not doing well; do you think it’s wise to retake the test and aim for a 100, only to possibly freak out again and end up with the same score or worse?”

You wanted to argue with his logic but it was reasonable, and he was right. You were freaking out for nothing and were honestly surprised you hadn’t dropped dead from all the stress you had, wanting to laugh at how ridiculous you’d been. Mark noticed you staring off into space, probably still scolding yourself like you always do. He didn’t mean to kill your confidence, but what else could he do to make you snap out of your “no mistakes allowed” tunnel vision?

“Baby,” He called, your eyes finding him once more, noticing his arms open and waiting for you to settle into his lap, which you did without hesitation, his hands cupping your face so you couldn’t look away.

“I know you’re smart, and that you could get a perfect score if you tried harder, but you can’t always push yourself like this. It’s okay to not be the best and, sometimes, you’ll learn there are people out there that are the best of the best and you can’t compare.” He said, your lips curling upwards as you released a giggle.

“That was such a backhand compliment.” His laughter mixed with your own, hands easing from your face into your hair.

“Yeah, I could’ve worded that better, but you need to relax. Stressing yourself out won’t make you perfect. Okay?”

You rolled your eyes, feeling a little disparaged but knowing he meant well, truly worried for you and rightfully so. You were a hard ass, you knew that and just couldn’t help it. Maybe that’s why you loved Mark, he was responsible yet relaxed. He had it all figured out and, even when he didn’t, he was nonchalant until he did. It was one of the traits you wish you could take from him and have for yourself.

“Okay, then show me what I should do to relax.” You said, a smirk similar to the one you gave earlier on your lips, his finger darting out to poke you in the center of your forehead, a stern look on his face.

“I should just leave and make you take a nap for tricking me into studying with you. But I have manners, so get on the bed.”

You eagerly climbed out of his lap and followed his orders, removing your top on your way there, not wanting to waste any more time. As you watched him approach you with his eyes taking you in hungrily, you couldn’t help but think of the position you were in.

He’d be busy for the next two days helping students from Professor Ahn’s four classes retake their test. Her other three classes held 60 or so students, a little over double the amount of your class, and the likelihood of everyone from the other classes failing was damn near impossible, but her course was hard so it’s a good possibility almost half the class would want a retake, and thinking of potential students from your own class doing the same, that’d mean Mark and Professor Ahn would have roughly 110 test to grade by the end of the two days. Even if they split the grading load in half, Mark would be busy days later helping her while simultaneously maintaining his own grades, meaning the two day period you thought nothing of would really be four to five days of barely being together, so you were going to bask in this moment.

“(Y/n/n),” Mark called, gaining your attention.

Your eyes darted towards him and noticed he was between your legs, face close to your heat that was now exposed as he tossed your panties away not too long ago, your skirt bunched around your waist as he patiently waited for you to answer, hoping you weren’t uncomfortable and suddenly having second thoughts.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. I just realized it’ll be a few days before we can be like this again.” You admitted, unconsciously placing your hand in his hair and stroking it softly. It was still pretty soft despite bleaching and dying it so many times.

“Think about it this way,” He started, placing a small kiss to your inner thigh, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you tried to resist the urge to close them, his lips ticking your skin as he continued moving closer to your core.

“Everything I do today is a precursor for the next time I come over.”

You wanted to make a snide remark to keep your banter going, but the way his lips finally connected with your folds made your head spin, any thoughts you had were gone as the foreign yet very familiar and dearly missed pleasure hit you. You can’t remember the last time Mark went down on you, your schedules leaving the both of you available for only quickies in unoccupied classrooms just to make it to your next class on time. But taking the time to go slow and actually savor the pleasure was making the experience a million times better, any memory you had of his tongue being buried within you was replaced with this moment, his tongue taking it’s time to taste you as if you were the best meal in the world.

“Mark,” You breathed out, his head moving back just slightly so his tongue was visible, your eyes locked on the way he teasingly flicked it around your opening while staring straight at you, expertly dragging the pink muscle up to your clit before covering it completely with his lips sucking harshly so that you cried out.

He knew exactly what he was doing and what buttons to push, taking two fingers and rubbing them along your slit to lubricate them before easily sliding them inside, your body nearly jumping away at the feeling. He felt you contract around him, surprised that you might already be so close considering he just started, but that only encouraged him more, his mind running with the thoughts of exactly how long he could make this last and how cute you’d be once you were completely spent from him actions.

You were gripping onto Mark’s hair desperately as your other hand held onto your pillow for dear life, your back arching at the familiar motions of his fingers, simultaneously thrusting into you while drumming against your g-spot, sending small waves of gratification through you. Those little jolts were enough to distract you from Mark moving up your body, kissing from your belly button to your bra cladded breast, his free hand slipping beneath it easily to toy with your nipples, already so hard despite the fact he had only begun stimulating them.

You struggled to crack your eyes open, looking at the man above you as a breathy whine interrupted your seemingly endless moans. His eyes were concentrating on each contorted muscle of your face before finding your eyes, smiling softly at you as if he wasn’t pinching and rubbing at your breast while using his fingers to scissor your pussy. Any words you wanted to say came out almost like squeaks, your hands speaking for you as they moved to his chest, slowly trailing down until they reached the slowly growing, but clearly there, bulge in his black jeans.

He watched in amusement as you impatiently undid his pants, tapping his thumb on your clit to watch you freeze momentarily in an attempt to regain your composure. He was like a sadist but the humane kind. Mark couldn’t help the groan he let out once your hand slipped into his boxers, wasting no time stroking his member at the same pace his fingers moved into you, his eyes squeezing shut as his face dipped into your neck, teeth sinking into your shoulder to control himself from going any further. The juices you let out were making such lewd sounds, and the harder his thumb rubbed against the sensitive nerves just above your entrance, the more your hips rolled into his hands and your walls tightened around him, actual words finally leaving you as you let out a soft ‘please’. It was all becoming too much for him, but he didn’t want to give in just yet.

“Mark,” You called out to him again, his head finally lifting to look at your face. Even though your eyes could barely stay open, your lips trembling as you whimpered pathetically and your breathing labored, you looked amazing.

“What’s wrong?” He asked gently, slowly bringing his fingers to a stop to allow you to speak, the bubble of pleasure you felt fading away.

“I want more. Please.” You continued to pump his cock from inside his briefs, the urge to fuck himself into your hand hard to ignore as your thumb played with the beads of precum leaking from his tip, your hand working faster knowing he was so close to giving you what you wanted.

Instead, he reached between your bodies to grab your wrist, reluctantly pulling it away from his throbbing and needy member and bringing it up to examine it, precum visibly sticking to your thumb and palm.

“I’ll give you everything you want, but you have to be patient.” He warned you, reaching for the hand resting on his chest to bring them above your head, holding them in place so that he could get back to his main objective.

You wanted to scream as he began to move his fingers again, not starting off slow like he usually would but going knuckles deep, his thumb now finding a good pace on your clit as well. It was clear he was trying to get you off first. It wasn’t uncommon for him to let you get your release before him, but this felt different, weird even. He was rough but precise, your g-spot being hit no matter how deep and fast his appendages plunged into you. And the pressure on your clit wasn’t helping either, only making the strange feeling increase.

Your back arched as you moaned loudly, unsure if your roommate was even home but you couldn’t care less about that now, your legs kicking against the bed as if you wanted to escape the way his hand was fucking you but so curious where this feeling was leading and just how good it’d feel. Mark’s cock twitched at the sight of you, every time your hips lifted from the bed he’d see a wet spot forming from the juices dripping from your cunt and his hand, making it obvious that you came already but he wanted to see you orgasm, knowing you were close as you incoherently cried out, begging for him as your thighs clenched together in an attempt to slow him down even though you didn’t want him to stop.

“Look at me.” He said in a soft voice yet stern enough to remind you it was a demand.

You shyly faced him, vision hazy as you focused on his features. You felt his hand leave your wrist before creeping down to comb through your hair, easing to the back of your head and pulling you into him, bringing your lips to his to capture every sound you made. If it wasn’t the way his hand continued to assault your core as it convulsed violently, or the way his teeth nipped at your bottom lip in the middle of your heated make out session, or even the way he pulled away to speak filthy words to you to encourage your release, the thin line of self-control and submission you were walking was gone, your body falling fast and hard into the latter.

Mark’s fingers dug into your scalp to hold you in place, a few moans escaping his throat as you clenched around his digits, pleasured cries falling into his mouth as you no longer focused on your kiss. Your lower half jerked almost painfully, his fingers slowly moving into you to draw out your release, his face pulling away as he felt a bead of your orgasm rolling down his fingers and palm and onto his wrist, the once small wet spot now a puddle beneath your body, your fluids leaving the room and sheets a distinctly sweet smell.

You shut your eyes in relief as Mark finally pulled his hand away, trying to catch your breath as he moved from the bed. You could feel the stickiness on you, your thighs closing to keep the cool air from hitting your sensitive core, the sound of your skin pulling from the sheets making you cringe. No wonder it felt so weird, you squirted for the first time ever and, now, your mattress was ruined. You were contemplating if you should just rest now in your own filthy release or properly clean everything, not having time to form an answer as Mark climbed above you, instantly connecting his lips to the shell of your ear and your neck. You turned to look at him, noticing his pants and boxers were off, his rock hard dick on display between your bodies.

“W-wait, I don’t think I can do that again.” You admitted, your face hot at the thought of being overstimulated, Mark’s gaze meeting yours. His eyes were so dark and clouded, your core unwillingly pulsating again with arousal despite your words.

“If you need me to stop, I’ll stop. I did promise to give you whatever you want earlier.”

The room fell silent as he waited for your answer, your eyes looking away in embarrassment as you opened your legs for him, cursing yourself for being so needy despite what happened only a few seconds ago. Mark smirked and placed a gentle kiss to your cheek, easing his body forward until he was poking at your entrance, preparing to thrust into you but not before he spoke in a definite tone.

“I’m going to make sure you’re too tired to think about the retest and, if I even see you going to take it, we’ll do this all over again.”

And it was a promise. You knew Mark never bluffed, especially when it came to sexual rewards and punishments, so you could do nothing but take those words to heart. Although the next day, after dragging your sore body from the soaked bed you both were too exhausted to flip, and getting ready as normal, you crept your way towards Professor Ahn’s class.

It was her second free period of the day and currently Mark’s accounting class, meaning there would be fewer students there for the retest and he would be out of sight and out of mind. You slowly crept into her classroom, looking to the twelve or so students working silently, Professor Ahn nowhere to be found.

You knew she’d never leave a class unsupervised during a test, so she was most likely watching from her office to see who would or wouldn’t cheat. She was clever that way so it only made sense.

You eagerly headed to the door, knocking gently before hearing an uninterested ‘enter’.

“Sorry for disturbing you Professor Ahn, but I was hoping I could do the retest to-“ You froze.

Professor Ahn and Mark’s eyes left the test and answer sheets around them to stare at you. During her first free period, over sixty students came, leaving your professor overwhelmed at how much grading she’d have to do if she waited until the last minute, her first instinct was to call her TA in for help which he easily accepted, knowing that missing one class wouldn’t hurt him. So the two sat in the once comfortable silence, grading roughly thirty test each. You thought you had it all figured out but didn’t plan for a random setback like this, and neither did Mark, his eyes boring into yours despite you trying to avoid his gaze.

“You were planning to do the retest, (Y/n)?” Professor Ahn spoke up, dropping her red pen and searching for a clean copy of the test from the folder next to her, your eyes widening as you frantically shook your head.

“No! No, it was nothing. I’m sorry for stopping by like this.” You said, preparing to leave but the call of your name from an eerily calm source made you stop, an inaudible whimper leaving you as you turned back to your boyfriend, a seemingly sweet but truly sinister smile on his lips.

“I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

You were fucked, pun intended.

#Mark tuan imagines #mark tuan smut #mark tuan fluff #mark taun scenarios #mark tuan reactions #got7 imagines #got7 smut #got7 fluff #got7 scenarios #got7 reactions #im-whatchamccallit #got7 au #mark tuan au #mark tuan fanfic #got7 fanfic

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alolanrain · 4 years

Note

I know u probs aren’t looking for another au but u kind of inspired this: Raihan being Ash’s BF for a bit now when Mew and Mewtwo appear. They hand Raihan a lump wrapped in clothes and Mewtwo is like “there was an incident we’re working on it but we need someone to watch them while we work and they can’t leave the region bye” and teleport away. Raihan is so confused until he finds a de-aged baby ash and Pichu in the lump (it takes a week before Celebi/Dialga can fix it).

OKAY FIRST OF HOW DARE YOU BRING THIS WONDERFUL AU TO MY DOORSTEP!?!?

Second off this is absolutely amazing and I’m taking it now.

Raihan is absolutely shocked because he did NOT plan is day to be like this at all. Ash is now babey so he can’t be left alone at all, something in Raihans gut is telling him not to hire a nanny even though that would take a large chunk of work off of Raihan’s plate, and the Pichu with the baby has to be Pikachu.

He goes back to his house, not saying a word besides what he sputtered out to Mew and Mewtwo before they vanished, and sits down on the couch. Pichu curled up and clinging to his headband as Raihan looks down to his de-aged Bf who’s looking up at him. Making baby gurgling noises and raising his hands up at Raihans face. It’s only then does it sink in that his wonderful Bf is de-aged and he has absolutely no fucking clue how to take care of a baby. So that means there’s only one thing...

Call Melony

Raihan being a coward goes through like forty google links on How To Take Care Of Your De-aged Boyfrind, more like babysitting a baby for dummies, before submitting when he STILL has no clue. The call goes to voice mail and Raihan is to scared and panicking that he just stutters out “I have a baby, help.” Before ending the call and instinctively chucking his Rotom phone across the room. Rotom is kinda pissed at that but they understand because their afraid of Melony to, Pokémon like trainer.

Raihan doesn’t get any answer or notifications from her until like 3 hours later she basically kicks his doors down and send both Raihan and Ash, who he was still cradling in his arms, into a scare fit. Ash starts crying and Raihan wants to to when he see’s Melony now armed with Kabu and Opal behind her.

It’s a mess and Ash starts crying even louder when he gets taken out of Raihans arms, Pichu gets angry as well and Raihans Pokémon are so close to attacking as well because the 3 adults scared them as well, by Melony and All three question him about where he got Ash and how come someone trusted Raihan with a baby this young?

Raihan panicking and about to have a anxiety attack: it’s Ash!

Melony stopping: it’s who!?

Raihan getting worse: it’s Champion Ash! A new and some kind of knock off Mew called Mewtwo gave him to me along with Pikachu *waves to the sparking Pichu on his shoulder*. I don’t know what happened, something to do with Dialga and Celebi, but I’m supposed to watch him until he un-de-ages.

All three adults: *simultaneously shocked Pikachu meme*

Bby! Ash: *still crying*

Raihan: can I.... can I have him back?

So Raihan gets him back and Ash calms down a little but still is a sniffling mess and Raihan is still close to crying himself from under all the sudden stress and anger from the three most badass gym leaders. Opal acts first while coming closer and uncharacteristically correcting Raihans hold with a shaking hand. Raihan then remembers that both Kabu and Opal were once parents but both lost their kids in different accidents long ago before Raihan was born, a secret kept between any and all Galar Gym leaders.

Melony is still a bit stressful but both Opal and Kabu calm down, or Kabu relaxes a little since he was mostly calm during that interaction, and help Raihan clean Ash up. Pichu is still distrustful but let’s it go for now since no one is yelling anymore and Ash isn’t crying. It soon boils down that Melony would bring her old nursery stuff down to Raihans house later that day while Kabu and Opal help Raihan order baby stuff to his house. When Raihan questions why not go out and buy stuff they point out that Raihan with Ash out in public, with the public Not Knowing Ash is a baby until who knows how long, would cause a rucus and that would cause Rose and Oleana coming down to talk to Raihan.

He then points out that he’s a Gym leader, and it’s nearing the end of the training season as well, AND that he has a large following on social media. His fans are bound to find out that he has a baby by either stalking his house or the public just finding out that he’s taking care of a baby because Raihan has to go to work and back.

Hiring a nanny is immediately off the list Raihan states when they try and brainstorm some ideas. To risky which Raihans position and crazed fan clubs, and he doesn’t trust Rose’s hired league nannies after what he heard of what happened with Melony young twins, and that one of them might somehow find out early and work into the selection pool and now Raihan is falling into another panic induced episode that’s slowly working its way to upsetting Ash.

It takes Kabu gently getting Ash out of Raihans grip for him to realize that he almost set of Ash again. They agree nannies are off the table and are now forced to agree with just going with the flow and going out to public and dealing with Rose and Oleana afterwards.

What Raihan dreads the most is when Sonia and Nessa find out, their very big on babies and Raihan knows that they’ll try and be over almost 90% of the time, or Arceus forbids Leon finds out. That man was such a little terror when his baby brother Hop came into the world. Constantly rebelling against Rose and Oleana, much to everyone else’s amusement in the league besides Rose and Oleana, to go see little baby Hop. Dude has a sixth sense of when there’s a baby nearby.

Raihans fears happen and the moment someone spots him in public with Opal, Ash, and Pichu theres photos spread all across Galars social media. He refuses to check his phone, turned off because no-fucking-way is he answering anyone’s calls in public, and continues to ignore the chatter and uncharacteristically stick by Opals side who glares at anyone who dares come to close to the young adult and the baby.

Melony and Kabu go back, with an extra house key to Raihans house just incase they magically get back before he and Opal do, to Melonys house to get her old nursery stuff and transport it back to his house. Opal isn’t really playing until her usual Crazy Old Eccentric Lady normal personality. she’s more wise and calm as she easily answers all of Raihans, still, slightly frantic questions.

Ash is a quite baby throughout all this, maybe it helps that Pichu keeps chittering down to the baby at all times through the ordeal, and only really made any noise when Raihan brought a toy into his sight. Other then that Ash was more tuned to the idea of sleeping and drooling on Raihans hoodie.

Once they got back to the house, Kabu and Melony nowhere in sight and Raihan was taught how to clean, feed, burp, and dress Ash, did Raihan turn on his phone. Half surprised by all the calls, voicemails, and frantic all calls messages by everyone. What worried him the most was the most frequent call, from Lance of all people.

Lance pops up on his screen again and Raihan quietly prepares for the man to question him before answering.

Lance: where’s Ash and when did you get a baby!?

Raihan, extremely tired: the baby is Ash

Lance: ... that makes so much more sense and not at all at the same time

Raihan: from what Mew and Mewtwo told me before disappearing, something happened and Godly de-aging for both Ash and Pikachu

Lance: ....

Raihan: .....

Lance: so how long-

Raihan: I have no fucking clue

Lance: well Shit.

Melony and Kabu come back, with Gordie and Bea in tow as well, and they all start setting up the nursery in Raihan office room and the crib between Flygon’s ‘nest’ of pillows and blankets and Raihans bed. Raihan orders pizza as a thank you and the next thing he knows Sonia comes bursting through the door.

Raihan, to tired for anymore of this shit today, does not let her hold Ash. Using his height to his advantage and keeps Ash, who’s also sleeping, out of her grip carefully. After an hour or 3 he kicks them all out of his house and finally settles Ash down for bed after going through the motions of checking his diaper and everything else.

Ash sleeps well through the night besides one crying fest early in the morning, thankfully right around 5:30 when Raihan usually gets up, and Raihan has to stumble through the journey of getting Ash cleaned, fed, burped, and dressed before looking over a pre-packed baby bag and going to work the next day.

#wolfy answers #ash ketchum #gym leader raihan #fangshipping #sonia #nessa #melony #bea #gordie #kabu #opal #rose #oleana #champion leon #de-aged!ash #bby!ash #de-aged ash!au

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i-do-trash-fanfictions · 4 years

Text

Answering Questions #1

@escapetoluna who made these questions.

1. Do they laugh at their own jokes? Thera finds herself laughing at her own jokes all the time. Scout will usually roll his eyes at her because the joke wouldn’t even be that funny.

2. What does their laugh sound like? It’s a bright sound and a bit higher pitched than her usual sound of voice.

3. What does their voice sound like? I always say that it’s not high pitched or low pitched either. It’s near the middle, going a bit towards the high pitched side.

4. What side of the bed do they sleep on? The right side. It’s always the right side.

5. Are they a light sleeper? Most of the time yes. You know she’s really tired if she doesn’t wake up to something.

6. Do they have any frequent / recurring dreams? She has frequent nightmares about losing ones she loves. She’s had one really bad one about Scout, a few about her Ann (who is like a younger sister to her), and a few about losing the Last City when the Cabal attacked. The most recurring ones are ones where she relives the deaths of Sora, Zane-2, and Cayde-6.

7. Do they sleep with their socks on? She does not. She only does when she’s really cold.

8. Are they a morning or a night person? Thera is a night person, definitely. She loathes mornings, but she loves the night. It’s just so calming and quiet at that time.

9. What do they do to relax? She’ll usually listen to music (still 70′s, 80′s, and 90′s stuff but it won’t be AC/DC or any music like that), or she’ll read.

10. Are they very highly strung? Not really. She can get pretty angry at times, but she’s good at hiding it.

11. Are they easy going? She used to be but now she’s cautious most of the time with everything that’s going on.

12. What are they like when they're angry? If Thera’s really angry she’ll yell very loud, and say a lot of things she doesn’t mean if she’s angry at a person. Then she’ll usually go stalk off for a few hours and come back later to apologize for the outburst.

13. How often do they shower? She tries to shower every day. Thera gets really dirty at the end of the day from going on missions.

14. How organised are they? Thera isn’t the most organised when it comes to keeping track of time. She’s been late to many meetings before because she’ll lose track of time. But when it comes to being organised in her room, stuff is decently organised. Some drawers and shelves may be cluttered and her closet may be too, but for the most part she knows where everything is.

15. Do they keep track of their calendar? No. She doesn’t even have one.

16. Do they have a diary or a journal? Yep. She uses the many journals that Sora had and never wrote in.

17. Are they on any medication? No.

18. Do they suffer from any illnesses? Nothing besides PTSD.

19. Do they get sick easily? Nope.

20. Would it take much to knock them out? It would take a very heavy blow to know her out.

21. Do they have a high pain tolerance? She has a very high pain tolerance. I believe that all Guardians do.

22. What's the quickest way to upset them? To say something bad about Sora, Zane, or even worse, Cayde.

23. What is the thing that makes them most uncomfortable?

24. How do they act when they're upset? Thera likes to be alone in her room or a secluded area when she’s upset. There she will talk to her Ghost, Scout, and eventually he will cheer her up.

25. How does your character cry? Yes, but not in public. She didn’t even cry at Cayde’s funeral. Only in private did she let the tears fall.

26. Is your oc happy with their life? Thera thinks that there could be a lot of things that could go better. And with so much happening at once, she’s very stressed. But she’s happy because she still has the Light, she still has Ann, she has Crow, and she still has countless allies and other friends.

27. Will they have a happy ending? Well, I make up her lifestory as I go along. So maybe she will. Or maybe she won’t.

28. What would they change about their life? She wishes that Sora and Zane were still alive. That would be the one thing she would change.

29. Do they have a comfort food? Anything chocolate. Hot chocolate, milk chocolate bar, chocolate cake, brownies, ect.

30. Do they drink alcohol? Yes. Not a normal everyday thing, but when she’s at parties or it’s a special occasion.

31. What are they like when they're drunk? Lots of slurred words. And with luck you’ll get a good story out of her that she usually doesn’t tell about.

32. What are their eating habits like? Thera tries to have at least one big meal a day, and that’s usually at supper. Because she’s on missions most of the day, she’ll forget to make herself something.

33. If left to their own devices would they forget to eat / shower etc. ? Maybe she would forget to eat, but she wouldn’t forget to shower.

34. How would they spend their day if left alone with no responsibilities? She would go somewhere nice and calm. Probably near an ocean. She would spend her time thinking and talking with her Ghost, Scout, and probably writing in her journal as well.

35. How do they generally have their hair? It’s cut to her shoulders and on the left side it is tucked behind her ear.

36. How do they usually dress? For her armor, something that has more fabric instead of metal, or at least an equal amount, with a flashy cape and a nice looking helmet. For casual, it’s usually a dark pair of pants with a single colored shirt with a leather jacket and boots.

37. Do they have a signature look? Right now, she can be found wearing *I forgot the name of the universal ornament and I don’t know if I’ll remember to put it here or not*

38. Do they have any odd personality traits? Not really odd, but unexpected. A lot of people think she has a serious attitude, you know, with her being the Young Wolf and all. But actually she isn’t serious at all, only at certain times. She’s the life of the party and is always taking risks (sometimes to get glimmer from a bet).

39. What's the weirdest habit they have? She doesn’t really have any really weird habits. But she does bite at her nails if she’s really nervous.

40. Have they ever been involved in a scandal? Perhaps.

41. Have they ever committed a crime? Yeah. Not like a big one or anything though.

42. Would they hurt the few to save the many? Not if they’re innocent no.

43. What could be generally associated with them? The hunter sigil I guess? I’m not really sure what would be associated with them.

44. Have they got any close friends? Ann.

45. Do they like public displays of affection? Not really. She’s fine with it if her boyfriend wants to show it, but she won’t show it back if she’s with a lot of people. At least not yet.

46. Would they ever like to get married? As long as they are the right one for her and she knows for sure that they are.

47. What is their 'type'? Someone who treats her and those around them respectfully. Someone who will show her love and will cheer her up when she’s down. Thera isn’t a person to care about looks.

48. Have they ever been in a serious relationship? I would say that the relationship Thera is in right now is getting serious.

49. How easily do they get attached to things? Not really things, but people. She can easily get attached to certain people.

50. What is the thing that would hurt the most if they lost it? If she lost Crow, Ann, or anyone else she was close to. But I think losing her Ghost Scout who has been with her since the beginning would hurt the most.

#destiny 2 #destiny #destiny guardians #destiny game #young wolf

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404-potato · 4 years

Text

I’m going to share something because I really need to get this off my chest. Please feel free to ignore this -

... I never really talked about it with anyone because I don’t think I really had it in me to fully acknowledge it even. “Embarrassed” is the best way to describe why quite honestly... as much as I hate to admit it

This... is how I ended up hating a series I loved. And the ship/fandom still makes me cringe because of a weirdly “traumatizing” (? maybe? not sure - i hate using that word/throwing it around;;;) incidents that wasn’t really even about the fandom directly at all?

tw: relationship mess?

So before IronStrange, how I used to deal with liking series was through cosplaying. There was a good base for it where I lived and good chunk of my friends cosplay too or at least familiar with the community.

I got into this particular series (that I won’t name here) because a friend (who I eventually got involved in a relationship with) was REALLY into it. It was great at first. I loved the series, it was fun, we cosplayed a pair she shipped hard at the time and at some point I liked it too (I think she’s still a bit obsessed with that pairing actually).

Basically... she got obsessive.

It started with the little things like... very...uh... predictable... she didn’t want me to cosplay with other people. She didn’t want me to cosplay with anyone else for this particular pairing. Wanted me to prioritize her during cons... sort of made it impossible for me to be flexible to make plans with any other people. When confronted eventually (the “hey so you know I only have so much time I can give to this hobby- if I make all these plans with you I don’t have time for other friends. We can still do things together but I want to spend time with other people too”)... she made it seem like she would give me space but when time came it was always “I’m not saying you can’t go hang out with your friends but you promised this.” “I asked you first.” ... which by promise btw was her mentioning it some months ago by passing. There were other little things here and there in the con/cos world like if any other friend wanted to put together a cosplay group and asked me she got upset I didn’t ask her to join? Her reasoning was that “well I always ask you so why don’t you.” which seemed like demanding I feel the same way about her as she did for me. ... I know... sounds terrible of me & maybe I should be more sympathetic but... you can’t... demand someone to return how you feel about them or get upset when they don’t? (by the way this was way before we dated even - she also repeated denied she had any sort of feelings for me)

And I honestly didn’t recognize it at first or thought it wasn’t a big deal. I had lot of incident in the past where friends, people I dated, etc. made some... perhaps unjustified demands and I did my best to accommodate if I was willing or situation allowed it. I truly, maybe arrogantly, believed I could fully take care of myself because i always had been that one person who could take care of themselves. ... and there was no possible way anyone could ever “take advantage of me” so to say? in any way.

Then eventually we started dating. It was casual, lets see where it goes at first. ...then at some point we were in a relationship? ... quite frankly I don’t even remember how fully that came about. (I was not exactly in the best mental state that year due multiple disasters that was going on in my personal life - terrible timing because i let a lot of “red flags” go since I was so tired to fight).

She wanted me to stop talking to certain friends. One was a friend who we went on couple dates (and it didn’t work out, & by then this friend was dating someone else). But she still didn’t want me be friends with this person.

...And for those who think you shouldn’t be friends with your exes or not talk to them at all for some reason? F u. Yes it is fully possible to be friends with your ex if you both are at a good place etc. Esp if these people were not even exes per se it was like people you went on a date or two with that you both realized after “hey yea we’re friends not anything more”.

Little by little I was talking to less and less people, interacted with less and less friends. I stopped cosplaying completely just so I didn’t have to deal with her getting upset at me. I didn’t have the energy. It felt like if I go anywhere I had to invite her. If I made any plans I should invite her. After a while I was so miserable to the point we had huge fights. I literally left the apartment to get away because she wasn’t listening to anything I was saying and all her rebuttal to everything was along the lines of “It’s because i like you so much” etc.

Yea this whole “being loved” thing to the point they want to spend so much time with you at all times may sound sweet in theory ...but for someone who is an only child (with no distant relatives in the same country), who is used to be left alone to live my life with very minimal supervision since 5 years old, needs a lot of time to myself naturally... it’s a nightmare. But if I said I wanted to be alone or need time to myself suggest I’ll go to my parent’s (not my first choice but ya know... at this point i figured she’ll flip if I said any friend’s)... she’ll try to angrily (very recklessly) drive off saying she’ll sleep at her work parking lot?? or I came back after one of these fights and she had all these scratches because apparently she tried to take a bath with wine and she fell?? ... I feel like I couldn’t even leave. ...typing this now, it’s kinda occurring to me I felt very stuck. She says I can go, I can do things, but... i mean... I can’t?? because then she’ll go off and do something like this. That time she was physically hurt, I know I should feel bad but I honestly couldn’t feel bad. I felt suffocated. I was angry. I felt like she was doing this as some sort of attention seeking... thing.

Oh and lets not forget comments here and there about how I should let her know what i’m doing all the time, all the change of plans. Example: barely one month after I started at a new job, it was the holiday party. I did let her know I’ll be trying to come home early but please eat without me/don’t wait up. Well as I was trying to leave, I got caught in conversation by my VP and then my CEO... i couldn’t just up and leave at that point?? And I couldn’t answer the 30+ calls I got from her. ...She was pissed. Saying how they waited for me to eat, how I said I’ll be home early, etc. I tried to explain what happened. It’s a holiday party, its loud. I can’t keep looking at my phone when i’m talking to my CEO. I did say i’ll try but shit happens and I can’t update her all the time 24/7...She said she got it but next day would still throw these passive aggressive remarks. Couple of her friends came to visit from out of town, we were supposed to spend the day together with them. I was obviously tired because of the holiday party still and I muttered like “damn i’m tired” by passing... her automatic reaction was “well you shouldn’t have stayed out then.” because in her words, during the argument that followed, we made plans to spend time with her friends so I should have prioritized it at all cost even over the job that I need. Nothing said I couldn’t just leave and come home early, I didn’t have to go in the first place. ...oh idk there is something called work politics??? esp when you are a minority girl working at 80~90%+ white male company.

Then it all boiled up to a particular bad fight where I said I need her to compromise because I’m ready to lose it... I explained so many things from above that was genuinely becoming so unhealthy for me... How she said she’ll be better in the past but she continued on, etc.

...lol... and the first thing she says to that is how she still doesn’t want me to cosplay with other people. I literally had a moment of that’s what’s so important to you??? SERIOUSLY? fuck this i’m not cosplaying ever again. period. Because at that point... because of the whole incident... or many incidents, I had such negative feeling towards the hobby I didn’t want to do it anyways... let alone this pairing she really liked... or the series etc. god there was... so many more... like the time we went to a bar to have fun, she over drank even when I told her multiple times hey maybe you should slow down... She basically did the whole “drinking excess as an excuse to say what she wants after” “i’m drunk so I’m saying this” thing. So in a very public place, the bar was crowded, there were people all around us, she yelled VERY loudly about how I didn’t seem to want to have sex with her anymore. When I asked her to keep quiet, please can we talk about this elsewhere... she KEPT GOING- LOUDLY YELLING. Hysterically crying. Honestly... considering everything going on... yea I didn’t want to. At some point it did occur to me I didn’t want to have sex at all (and that was whole another level of problem considering I’ve always been very sexual person...) I mean I would have been totally willing to have a serious conversation about this but NOT AT A PUBLIC PLACE WITH STRANGERS ALL AROUND??? I was mortified. (this is also why I stopped going to nice bars... i used to enjoy them. After my early 20s, I didn’t drink to get drunk but I loved visiting creative bars and having a nice drink or two... well... not anymore lol) Again, these are not even 50% of all that happened with this person. .... honestly this relationship caused me so much issues personally I haven’t even begin to solve. It’s actually to the point I’m considering therapy.

But yea... sure it may not be the biggest of things but sometimes I’m very resentful I can’t enjoy the series I used to enjoy because I just automatically have VERY negative emotions about it. Same thing with cosplay, a hobby I used to be very happily involved in to relieve stress. I now have this almost... fight or flight feeling when they are mentioned, i freeze... it sometimes feels like something is pressing down on your lungs making it impossible to breath.

...And this is also why... I started tumblr and ended up seeking company of online people who doesn’t really know me because... yea now I’m avoiding my friends at this point or mutuals with this person since... well, everyone thinks she’s a very nice person, very good for me... because on surface level, yea she does really seem like she likes me, gets me all these nice gifts etc. They still comment from time to time about how I should be doing better. Treat her better. Because if someone screws up in a relationship, given my history and personality, its probably my doing. ...Okay. any normal situation, yea I would say that’s probably true but this? this was not... yea.

#I know i'm not completely blamelss #after I was so fed up I was fairly harsh when telling her off etc #I don't believe in some perfect relationship but there is a difference between having a few problems here and there and... yea

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nicknellie · 4 years

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I’m just trying to reply to this through out the day so it’s all times lol (and then of course when I was going to send this it’s sadly didnt)

Thanks for linking the post, I think you brought up quite a few good points!!!

Honestly I thought you meant that both Julie and Flynn had matching jumpers however this works so much better. (Also yes Luke and Reggie would get this just because they can)

Just in case you don’t know what among us is when I go on my tangent here is the basics but basically there are 10 players in total and either 1, 2 or three are imposter (I’m choosing two here) whoever isn’t imposter just tries to complete tasks and figure out who the imposter is without dying

Box stuff

1. Yes, honestly the only time Luke’s room is clean is due to Alex because he is the mom friend. (And or Reggie because it could be that when Reggie is stressed he cleans but that also works for Alex)

Also that’s what I was thinking, Emily and Mitch just gave up. Definitely when he passed they just couldn’t change anything in his room because it was the one comfort that they had. That even though Luke isn’t here anymore, his room that he lived in was still there and sometimes they could pretend that he’s still there

3. They always bring him recipes to try out because Alex has magic with cooking and even if he has no clue what is going on it usually always taste good. (May not look good but it does taste good) Also love the detail of Reggie just forgetting about the recipes, he just has so much that he forgets some.

Board games and Jam stuff

1. Yes, they all have that one game that they can’t do. Monopoly is banned just because they are way too competitive and Alex has thrown drumsticks at Luke before.

I love the detail of the boys just guessing wrong just to annoy Bobby, they totally would too. In Cluedo, Reggie always thinks that it’s Alex, every single time.

(Among us tangent, really wish I can blame this on chaotic energy but no.

So Alex is pink, because

Luke is the colour white

Reggie is lime

Julie is red

Willie is cyan

And Flynn is purple

Alex and Willie are on the same team immediately (they just follow each other and keep each other safe) and Alex is a good imposter however Luke will only call him out for no reason at all when he is an imposter one time that they play together.

To give more reasoning they probably play together two times in total with 10 games each I don’t know, but the second time around Luke is salty and somehow knows when Alex is imposter even when he doesn’t seem suspicious at all.

Julie and Willie are the best imposter duo, alongside Alex and Luke. Reggie is not a good imposter and the first to die in the game is usually Julie (or Luke).

Wait yes, Alex can’t do life.

Oh Julie gets so mad at him however secretly she’s amused (Alex and Reggie are just having the time of their lives because they can tease both Luke and Julie also Flynn will definitely tease Julie as well)

Alex being the bank dealer is everything, and Reggie just forcing Luke to pay him is everything. (Not sure if this is a game rule but I’ve played a few times were you can give someone a building that has the cost/whatever you owe, so maybe they do that)

Honestly monopoly was banned before hand with Bobby but one day Julie brought it up and they just couldn’t tell her (Luke flipped a table... a table)

Also randomly Flynn and Willie are there just for chaos reasoning.

2. Yes lol

Number stuff

2. Alex and Willie just chilling and then Reggie ruining everything is perfect. (Also Willie is crying laughing during this whole thing, even more so when the hoodie rips and Alex just looks hurt and shocked at the same time towards Reggie)

So I watched the first episode, and I was mistaken. Maybe Arther changes as the show goes on but this is not how I thought the story went 😂

I was like, they changed the story but it still had to have the idea of Merlin helping Arther out with getting the sword out of the stone and in the shows there is a witch. I can’t tell if it’s because they are adding details to the story or if I just don’t know it. But yes just like with Merlin calling Arthur an idiot, my lord is total Alex energy. Definitely could see him doing that is real life at some point. Yes, Luke does still die from the hotdog

5. Same here!! Also the ones that you’ve mentioned I think I have read as well, have to love that for us (also the fact that everyone agree not to ship Alex with Julie and just have them be supportive wingpeople)

6. I love that for us. Also I love the sign idea, (Bobby somehow makes a sign to tell Willie that Alex is okay) it mostly comes because Alex is so distracted by Willie and the hair flip to notice that Willie is asking if he is alright or not. Wait I was still thinking about waterparks, moving to what you were actually talking about. I’m just keeping that in because

But yes, Bobby gets a sign from the boys and everything is better. (The sign is, don’t steal the songs, big no). Also I love how you say that they still go back to Julie but they make a quick pit stop

8. Yes, also their strengths complimented each other’s so without them there Bobby feels lost. So many props towards Reggie, I have no clue what is happening with that game at all times.

10. Aww happy Reggie with technology (also the fact that he doesn’t have to develop photos anymore makes him want to cry happy tears) ‘you don’t understand Julie, green photos. I’m not joking green photos, you don’t know my pain’

I know exactly what you are talking about, can’t remember the name at all though.

Reggie is just upset, but Alex and Bobby are rolling they find it that funny. Also Luke says something along the lines of, ‘it looked fine, I don’t see you blaming Alex and Bobby. This is not fair 🥺’

Wait yes, they always get recipes from bakeries. Also if a food is expensive/they don’t have enough for it but they want to try it sometime they (Reggie) will try to get a recipe just for Alex to make it.

Aw, Alex giving Bobby his own little box so that he always has something to eat.

11. And little did they know that Reggie actually met the Queen

13. Same here lol, but I’m not very good at sketching. However you should definitely do them if you want to! I’m in full support.

14. Yes exactly

16. Precisely, if it was anyone else Alex could say no however sue to the fact that it’s Luke and Reggie, he can’t

17. Oh my goodness you made my idea better. (Honestly I can’t type so I have no clue how I worded it) however I had meant that Reggie asks Caleb for baby pictures of Willie but your idea works so much better. (Also Willie isn’t really that creeped by the fact that Reggie has his baby pictures just accepts it)

Wait, I love that you said Caleb doesn’t question it. As if people ask Caleb for baby pictures all the time, or at least it’s normal (maybe normal Reggie behavior 🤷‍♀️)

But a Caleb scrapbook I love that idea. Also yes, Reggie just has baby pictures of everyone. Some random stranger that he saw once, yes, his great aunts ex husbands son’s daughter yes (oh my goodness what is that sentence). But basically everyone, even the queen

Yes, just them as babies in hot dog suits. Reggie also has a hat on for I don’t know why reasons. (Imagine if there’s a baby Willie with some kind of hot dog themed thing though)

19. Yes, Luke also smashes snow on peoples heads as well. And Alex is usually the one who stuffs it down the persons back (it is what Willie does as well, and they always have an alliance)

20. Exactly, Owen is such a great actor (also mentioning Booboo Stewart for same reasons)

And Owen does play Alex so perfectly, like Kenny could not have chosen a better actor for Alex even if he tried.

Honestly if the boys had hated Willie I would cry, A because no Willie and Alex and B that’s exactly what they are like and although it’s everything if no point A then sad. I mean, Caleb played Willie just as much as he played the boys. (I just want Caleb to be the good guy because but he does stuff like this whyyy)

Luke isn’t happy that Julie is mad at him however he’s happy that he was able to connect with Flynn

Anything that gets us Unsaid Emily is worth it in my books

21. Honestly I have no clue it’s just been something that I’ve been thinking about. Honestly both of those theories works so well and I feel like it will be so hilarious if Alex freaks over breaking in entering however he’s legitimately done something worse. Also yes, Emily and Mitch talking to Alex to make sure they are both alright is adorable

That would be hilarious, just send this to him one day 😂 😂

24. Yes, also just it either means Flynn and Carrie moments or Flynn singing which are both needed.

Yes only for one song, she can only manage one band and she doesn’t want to be a part of it (in that way). Yes it is a sad song with just them.

25. Imagine Alex and Carrie having a conversation and their banter just being everything

Yes and Luke is like the cool uncle who you go too when you want someone casual but I’m not going to call you out just yet to your father kind of person

26. Wait, yes that’s how all arguments used to get settled in the 90s and if Luke was in the wrong then he would usually write music (I’m basic apparently I can’t think of something else)

Same, especially if we get another hair flip from Willie.

28. This works perfectly! That’s exactly what happened and then ‘now or never’ came to be

32. I didn’t even think of the shop assistant giving him stickers I was just thinking of some random fan discovering Alex at 3 AM however I love that so much more.

Yes, he definitely would take extreme care of it and keep it in its pristine condition

35. Legitimately Ray just has so many kids, imagine if he tried to adopt Reggie, Luke, and Alex though that would be funny. And emotional at the same time

For the purpose of them looking amazing we are just going to disregard the fact that they can’t be seen on photo (maybe it’s a special camera that Willie has from the club i don’t know) (hmm or maybe if a ghost takes the picture then other ghosts can be seen?)

Yes I love that as well, the orb does look good for some reason lol

37. Who doesn’t live for heart eyes Alex (& Willie in my opinion). Yes, and these are not casual rules that you can break there’s legitimately a list and everything. Also Reggie isn’t allowed to wash it after shrinking it and changing the colour one time

39. Yes the dream father daughter team. They are so close (also just want to mention Ray in general not only with Julie but with Carlos as well, because you can tell that’s he trying so hard and is doing so well)

The categories are so funny also I love how we just have this so organized now

I’m sorry this took me so long to answer! I kept telling myself I would then getting sidetracked and now I’ve decided one o’clock in the morning is the best time to start writing this. Bare with me, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a lot of mistakes here 😂😭

BOX STUFF

1. Wait I didn’t think about that but I love it so much! Whenever the guys hang out at Luke’s before he runs away, Alex will walk into his room, tut at him or mutter something under his breath, and tidy while still managing to have a conversation with the guys - occasionally he’ll interrupt his own sentence to tell Luke off for the state of his room, like, “Oh yeah, I heard about that, it was — Luke, I swear if you don’t start picking up your dirty socks I’m going to shove them down your throat while you sleep — really cool actually, did you hear about...”. Also he has been known to just drag the vacuum cleaner in because he knows where Emily keeps it and he’ll hoover over the guys’ conversation.

And I can totally see Reggie stress cleaning? Bc usually he’s stressed or upset because of his parents fighting, right? So it must seem to him that everything is very disorderly and out of place, so to make himself feel better he spends hours putting things in the right place so everything is nice and tidy. It’s just an added bonus that the place gets cleaner. Also if the studio was messy the day before and suddenly clean when the band arrives in the morning then they know Reggie had a tough night.

Oh god that hurts. That hurts so freaking much. Just particularly the “pretending he is still there” part - I’m now imagining Emily or Mitch going up to Luke’s room alone, slowly sitting down on the bed or at the desk because they don’t even want to disturb the dust that has settled there. And they’ll look around the room and they’ll remember their son and all the things he used to do - write music, play games, hang out with his friends (who they remember and miss as well), and yes, argue with his parents. And they talk to him, sometimes in the way Ray and Julie do to Rose, as if Luke can hear them and is listening, but sometimes it’s as if he’s stood right in front of them. Tears in her eyes, Emily will whisper “How did your band rehearsal go?” because although it’s too late to start caring and to be okay with it, it comforts her to pretend it means something. She’ll imagine Luke’s reply, hear his voice tell her they made a killer new song, and she’ll smile as she replies, “That’s lovely. Well done, Luke. I’m so proud of you.”

3. Omg hang on I love that, like Alex being amazing at cooking but also completely clueless. He mutters to himself, “What the fuck does ‘fold in the flour’ mean?” then take a wild guess and somehow it tastes great. But like you said, it doesn’t exactly look very appetising.

BOARD GAMES AND JAM

1. Abwjskdlw Alex throwing drumsticks at Luke like a javelin or a dart or something, and Luke is frantically trying to dodge them but Alex has a seemingly endless supply of drumsticks, he just keeps pulling them out of nowhere and they’ve been there for half an hour of non-stop drumstick throwing and avoiding before he finally runs out.

YES and Reggie is totally serious about it too. Alex sneezes and Reggie is immediately like “that’s a tell!!! You sneezed last round too!!! I’m onto you, Mercer, I know it was you.” And Alex almost readies his drumsticks to throw at Reggie as well.

AMONG US

Oh this. This is glorious. I love this entire thing omg.

The detail of Luke saying Alex was imposter when he wasn’t sus just because he was annoyed is brilliant and would 100% happen. Also Julie-and-Willie and Alex-and-Luke being the best imposter duos is everything. Willie won’t kill Alex no matter what, but Julie is ruthless and Luke is usually first on her list.

Also I want to add what accessories they like because that’s fun! Although I haven’t played in months and can’t remember all of them, but this is what immediately springs to mind.

Luke - toilet paper hat

Julie - flower pot hat

Willie - top hat

Alex - the adorable little leaf thing

Reggie - pumpkin head hat thing

Flynn - no accessory, but she does have a tiny version of her character trailing behind her, you know the ones I mean right? She has a tiny child Among Us player with her at all times idk

Oh god, Monopoly is so much more hectic when Willie and Flynn join in. Willie somehow manages to collect so much money that he may as well just be the banker (definitely nothing to do with Alex being biased and “accidentally” slipping him a little extra cash). Flynn gets the best cards (that’s a thing in monopoly right? There’s a stack of cards in the middle you can choose from? Idk) and they basically win her the game. Luke gets angry, that’s when he flips the table again and Julie locks monopoly away forever

Same with Uno. Reggie doesn’t speak to Luke for a week after the first and only time they play Uno.

NUMBERS

2. I love that, like Willie trying to be a supportive boyfriend as Alex watches his hoodie get torn to pieces but just not being able to contain his laughter, practically lying in Alex’s lap because he’s laughing so much. It only gets worse as Alex cradles his ripped hoodie in his hands like it’s a dead animal or something. Like Willie is trying to be nice but the whole situation is freaking ridiculous and it doesn’t work.

Ahahaha I’m so glad you watched it! It does change a bit as the story goes on, I’m sure you’ll like it (I’d always be willing to hear your thoughts on it if you keep watching as well, if you want!!)

And like right??? Alex has complete and utter Merlin energy like “No, there must be another Arthur because this one’s an idiot” may as well be Alex saying “No, there must be another Sunset Curve because these ones are idiots”

6. Lmfao Alex just totally stops functioning after the hair flip and Bobby has to step in, love that. He very calmly takes over the situation, or has a sign, or just like freaking slaps the back of Alex’s head to bring him back to reality.

Right??? They just very quickly say “hey Bobby it’s us don’t steal our music” and then appear in the garage. Kinda tempted to write it now actually

8. Okay, seeing as it’s half one, I don’t want to go off on a whole tangent about “their strengths compliment each other” but I will definitely do this when I’m more awake because it’s a goddamn goldmine

10. Yesss 🥺🥺 like at first he would be a little sad that he didn’t get the experience of getting them developed but then when he remembered how annoying it was he’d be so happy. And omg can you imagine he reaction to how instant it is?? And how high definition?? My boy would stay there staring at these photos for hours on end, wide-eyed, mouth open, awestruck

Oh I love that! Reggie claims it’s so that Alex can enjoy himself and cook something new, which it partly is, but mainly it’s because Reggie just wants more food

11. I now wanna say that Reggie has met a ton of celebrities but nobody believes him because it’s Reggie (and he literally said how adults never believed him as a kid). He’s met the queen, the band Queen, Billy Joel (just because I watched a Billy Joel concert tonight - side note, Luke absolutely adores Billy Joel and listens to him constantly), whoever the president was when the guys were alive, and plenty more

17. Omg lmfao that makes sense 😂😂😂 but yeah like now I love the idea of him having Caleb’s baby photos too, I’m not going back on it. Caleb just has them ready to hand over the next time they all see each other (idk if I already mentioned that?) and he does a big evil speech but hands Reggie the photos halfway through, still talking, and Reggie just smiles and tucks them away into his pocket

“Or at least normal Reggie behaviour” I love how that implies that even though they’ve only really met twice Caleb already knows exactly what Reggie’s like and not only accepts it but is willing to encourage it, showing that he probably thinks it quite sweet (because let’s face it, we all think Reggie is sweet, and Caleb may be evil but he’s not stupid)

Reggie having the queen’s baby photos omg I’m dead 😂😂 that time they met he asked her and like Caleb she didn’t question it, just handed over these probably priceless photos and they end up in some ghost’s scrapbook

Omg yes all of them in hotdog suits plus baby Willie with hotdog socks! Or eating a hotdog! Or with a hotdog stuffed toy! The possibilities are endless

19. YES definitely. Also, Willie and Alex’s alliance only lasts until one of them has the perfect opportunity to shove snow down the other’s back just to watch them squirm, then it’s every ghost for himself

20. You are SO right, Owen and Booboo are literally amazing, we really won with this whole cast.

And thank you so much for saying Caleb played Willie as much as he did the guys!!!! I’ve seen so much stuff recently about Willie hate and like no?? You’re right, Willie was as much a victim as the others. Also I am so in love with the idea of Good Caleb! I just want him to adopt Alex, that’s literally it. Maybe instead of Caleb being defeated by the end of the show, he has seen the error of his ways and has turned nice, now only using evil against people who upset Alex and Willie, pretty please, Kenny make this happen???

Wait yeah that’s a really good point. Again, it’s a looooong tangent and it’s ten to two so I won’t write it now, but Luke and Flynn being friends (and competing over who loves Julie more) is something I desperately need

21. Yes lmao like Alex when he was alive would sometimes graffiti with the boys or set fire to stuff for fun (because they’re teenage boys and that’s what teenage boys do right? Idk that’s what the ones I know do) but as a ghost when he’s invisible he’s just very unsure about going into a closed museum

24. Yesss I need this so muchhh you’re so right

25. Alex and Carrie friendship is god tier.

Small tangent but y’know what else is great? Carrie and Nick being best friends instead of dating. They would get on so well without the pressure of a relationship (once Carrie becomes a little nicer and Nick stops being possessed)

Exactly that’s totally what Luke is

26. Another Willie hair flip PLEASE I would die. Just, Alex short-circuiting around Willie is the best thing ever. And it’s got me wondering what other little things Willie does that basically break Alex: stretching when he’s wearing a crop top so Alex can see his stomach and the smallest bit of his chest; okay but swimmer Willie?? Willie was on his school’s swim team and still swims sometimes and for whatever reason Alex’s loses it; twirling his hair around his finger (bonus points: twirling Alex’s hair around his finger while they’re cuddling)

32. I just love the idea of literally anyone giving them stickers. Reggie’s just out and about in a forest in the middle of nowhere one day (even he doesn’t really know what he’s doing there) and somehow someone finds him and hands him their fanart

35. Omg I didn’t think about how emotional it would be but then you had to go and say this and now all I can think about is each of the boys getting the family they deserve after so long and being loved and cared for unconditionally even though they’re dead and Ray would call them his angels (because he kinda did in ep 7) and oh god it’s too much I love it

Ooooh yes I like that, it’s a good way around the issue 😂 ghost takes photo, ghost can be seen. Perfect

37. Pffffft lmao YES. Reggie just wasn’t really certain on how the washing machine worked because it was at Luke’s house not his and they had a different model and he forgot not to mix colours and it all went badly wrong. Also Luke is banned from wearing them without supervision because once he accidentally set fire to one and now it’s elbow has a burnt patch on it

39. Now you’ve mentioned that I want Ray and Trevor to be friends again! They were probably buddies until Julie and Carrie fell out, I’d love to see them reconnect

Personally my favourite thing of this whole experience is how “Alex and jigsaws” turned into “Reggie has the queen’s baby photos”

#we are doing the lords work #it is 2:08 i need to sleep #williexmercer #asks #emily answers

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