#spn vs nihilism

[shallowseeker]

having a cas day ooooof

cas sundays

such an interesting guy, really

[shallowrambles]

Going anon because this is a sensitive subject in fandom and I don't want to offend anyone.

I'm don't 100% agree but you inspired me to take a closer look at the Blood Brother ep. I've never seen it analyzed like that, and although your words bothered me, I think you had some good points. I don't think the fandom idealization of Benny is as bad as the fandom version of Sam, but your argument that similar forces are at work for both of them is really compelling.

I never really cared about Andrea, but everything you said has given me pause, but I think you might be right and the illusion in The Werther Project is a lot closer to the actual Benny we see on screen.

I love your take on Andrea, and I'm with you that it might've have been cooler and more of an unexpected twist to see her in purgatory instead during season 15! I love your brain!

Happy to give you something to ponder, then! It's sometimes fun to entertain the shadow selves of characters, and I think the treatment of Andrea Kormos toes the line of darkness and nihilism in a way that is often overlooked. :-)

TBF, I think all soldier-coded characters struggle with this. Michael, Dean, Cas, Mary, AU Charlie and others...struggle with this pretty often. It's not unique to his character per se. It's that old soldier-coded derealization. I feel like it's especially strong/most pronounced in the in child-raised soldiers, ones who've been raised/created to fight (Dean, Mary, Cas, Jack, etc).

///

But anyway, I like this angle because it compels me, not because I dislike any of the soldier-coded characters. After all, it's a bit unflattering to be a soldier, fighter, warrior, (cop, hunter, military, angel, etc etc etc) in the first place!

But the idealization of Benny feeds into the strange imho idealization of Purgatory, that "pure" is somehow a positive thing when it's applied to Dean-Cas (it almost-never is in SPN, and I don't think it is here either). I think the whole existence of Purgatory is a nod to the worst selves of the soldiers, that black-and-white mentality and "rigid code" that both Dean and Cas tend to fall into...as well as suicidality and checking out of the complexity of "civilian" life.

When Benny says he doesn't "fit" and he's no good here, he's embodying the soldier who goes back. It's alluded to with, "The guy who got out and then came back. Like an idiot." It's got a name: "The Back There Paradox."

Deployments, and especially combat deployments, were a place where we knew how to use the skills we had developed. What we did was significant...Life could be very simple while deployed; get up, do your job... Sure, it got boring and repetitive, but we knew how to do stuff and we knew where things were. It was familiar."

We see this too with Dark Kaia in season 14-15: " At least over there, I understood things -- the world, my place in it."

What I'm saying is that soldier-coded characters' rigid adherence to "rules" can be just as neurotic as Sam's moral relativism spirals. (Cas is super fascinating because he embodies both tendencies!)

Purgatory represents "unthinking war," where there's 24/7, 360-degree combat. It's the horrific bloodlust that many soldiers are often too ashamed to admit they're addicted to, what is often quoted as: should "stay overseas, unsaid." It's the secret shame veterans won't readily admit to but many understand and know all too well.

Dean even shows signs of this in his fantasy world in AU Michael's bar, with the fame he crows about here (14x10, Nihilism):

DEAN: What you got? PAMELA: (wiping Deans face) Worst part of working here is having to clean up the blood after some pissed-off monster busts in to kill you. DEAN: (smirking) Well, what can I say? I'm famous.

///

"Being exposed to the adrenaline and the fame associated with being a soldier creates a dangerous addiction. Many veterans that deployed to combat come back to the states and chase the high that they felt on the battlefield." x

///

The unusual thing with Dean and Cas, is that they each recognize the nihilistic soldier in each other...ranging at times from joyful nihilism to the suicidal sorrow that's all wrapped up with identity-as-soldier-"weapon" and seeing combat far too often. (THIS is the subtext that attracts so many veterans.)

But the thing that's different for them is that they're crazed to get each other out. Underlined in two separate throughlines in season 8 and 15.

This is a little bit echoed in Alt Mary and Alt John, who also want to get each other out of hunting in SPNwin. That's what attracted Mary to John initially, that he was a soldier with a big heart even though he'd seen The Horrors.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is. I have a soft spot for the soldier who try, have tried, and are trying to get out. Even when they fail, like Benny did.

///

Anyway, soldiers are "loyal dogs." We see Dean referred to as a dog as late as season 15, when Lucifer calls him old "faithful," (like a dog) in one of Chuck's alternate endings. They're also "fish" (out of water). Bait. Bombs. Hammers. Blunt instruments.

They struggle with feeling perpetually dislocated when they're away from combat.

That’s where the, “I’m not sure what’s real” primarily stems from.

[incarnateirony]

I feel like a lot of people would have a better time in fandom and overall if they let Dean lead them on the undoing/reflecting trauma journey with him. Yeah sire we have all been put through shit with the show, but being stubbornly holding onto your own trauma like it can feed you indeed of embracing what can be seems.. on topic

Quite literally that's the plot, and what the haters, antis and bad faith actors like 2po have is being the akrida of the story. Bitters too. Fear reflexes. Attacking what you don't want to see. Trying to bury the truth under the din, mountains and mountains of swept dust under rugs moved on from for new white noise over the system.

IDK why SPN fandom had a stroke and thought the metanarrative would end at Chuck unplugging the TV. No, it's the stations about to become TBS at this point in history coming alive and broadcasting all the stories that slipped through the cracks. Hence sites like Savannah, and why I freaked out about their even fleeting messages.

Like when I apologized to an old fandom friend about hanging outside of a Saleen in georgia near a particular station years ago realizing that was their parents neighborhood I was high as a kite in about ten years ago. I generally say Atlanta bc that's the core but that one was Savannah for example. SDFJKSDFJSDKFJ they think they're being funny and I'm down for it.

Hence me even gesturing to the history of TBS vs Time Warner/WB vs CW vs TBS coming around full circle and sticking a boot up CW's ass proxy of Nexstar and Gray's current syndicate handshake. Move over, move over move over, it's over it's over it's over.

The Akrida are just as much fandom's collective unconscious trauma as Dean's he's facing in his final breath, it's something we all have. And we're lifting the fog that covers our path, we're finding the Truth in every language, whether the monster is a spanish dub or not. We're explaining beyond my blog why Death went mad. We're turning over all the cards. And opening Dean's final door in any angle you can take that, all leading to that trap, that signal of generational trauma rippling through the world soul that waits. First in a Trap he never got to speak in, and then in The Truth, which became Despair. But that's the point isn't it.

Celebrate life's grandieur, it's magnificence.

Optimism. Not Nihilism. The chicken hard boiled her final egg just to choke the snake, and the snake died. The network died, WB died. Berens' contract was fulfilled and left a new universal vessel. No one gives us anything we took it. But hooping back in full circle, let's look back optimistically. What is Dean's orphic egg and whole world in his final moment. What sun is he waiting to let in. Green light. Eon blue.

we will soon reach the top floor.

Aim to be the best guest life ever had.

[drsilverfish]

Sixteenth Century Burmese Blood Rubies (14x17)

Castiel gives Anael these blood ruby earings which are “lightly cursed” (nothing that should affect an angel).

Rubies from Myanmar (Burma) are, apparently, the most expensive gemstones in the world, and they have also been mined under terrible slave-labour conditions in Myanmar (ugh sorry to link to the rag that is the Daily Fail):

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive/article-1312382/The-curse-blood-rubies-Inside-Burmas-brutal-gem-trade.html

“Blood rubies” made me think of blood money. I am thinking Anael may be working with Nick/ Lucifer. Which fits, because we see Nick, in the parallel narrative, working to obtain Jack’s actual blood for his Lucifer-raising spell.  

Perhaps the rubies are also a reference to the anime, Dragon-Ball: Curse of the Blood Rubies (1986) in which the rubies, as per title and in 14x17, are cursed and the “Eternal Dragon” is summoned. One of Lucifer’s names in Revelations being the Great Dragon. 

On the other hand, Anael (Hanael) means “Grace of God” in Hebrew, and in Jewish lore she is often considered one of the seven archangels.

So blood (rubies) plus God’s grace (Anael) might suggest a Castiel-as-Jesus parallel (again). And indeed, Castiel mentions that he has been resurrected previously by God in the episode.

Castiel and Anael are such interesting mirror images in the episode - here representing disillusionment and faith, nihilism and optimism. 

And just look at Castiel’s order of strawberries and cream pancakes. 

Isn’t that a “Dean food” from 12x18 The Memory Remains?

Because we all know Dean is Cas’ faith, and vice versa. 

[restlesshush]

Spn 15x07 as a fuffy speed run(?!)

To be clear, I mean this very seriously, although it is also frying my brain quite a bit. I was so very punched in the face by the parallels that I don’t think they can be accidental. Though that also doesn’t particularly matter.

So firstly, everyone go watch this fuffy/deanlee amv by @castieldean (massive shout out to them for planting this seed in my head) to set the scene re 1) a ton of dialgoue parallels, and 2) the idea of having a dark shadow who you engage with homoerotic dancing/karaoke singing, fighting, and murder [attempts] with, while they also tell you that you’re the same person. Now to build on that, I’m going to work through how some of the dialgoue in Last Call directly beat-for-beat corresponds to a pivotal Buffy/Faith exchange in btvs 3x15 Consequences.

A key aspect of this exchange is discussing Buffy and Faith’s position as slayers, and what this means for the relationship between them and ordinary humans, which is also a thread running through Last Call (re the status of hunters). The context is different between the two discussions, but the similarity of them very firmly positions Lee as the more devil-may-care Faith, both of whom see themselves as worth more than other, ordinary humans (or at least claim to), in comparison to Dean’s position as Buffy, both of whom argue for not being superior, and for having a responsibility for ordinary human lives. Specifically, Faith is also supposed to represent a temptation to Buffy here, of a way she could be, and given that Lee is as retired from hunting and running a bar (how Dean was in his Nihilism fantasty), I don’t think it’s remotely a stretch to suggest that Lee is playing the same role here for Dean.

FAITH: Anyway, how many people do you think we've saved by now, thousands? And didn't you stop the world from ending? Because in my book, that puts you and me in the plus column.

Vs in spn 15x07:

DEAN: Oh, come on. Who's gonna kill the bad guys? LEE: Somebody else. Dean, how many lives you think you saved, huh? Hundreds? Thousands? You deserve a break, bro. Hell, you might even deserve two.

Then the btvs exchange continues (key parts bolded):

BUFFY: We help people! It doesn't mean we can do whatever we want.

FAITH: Why not? The guy I offed was no Gandhi. I mean, we just saw he was mixed up in dirty dealings.

BUFFY: Maybe, but what if he was coming to us for help?

Faith: What if he was? You're still not seeing the big picture, B. Something made us different. We're warriors. We're built to kill.

BUFFY:  To kill demons! But it does not mean that we get to pass judgment on people like we're better than everybody else!

FAITH:  We are better!

Buffy is taken aback.

FAITH: (exhilarated) That's right, better. People need us to survive. In the balance, nobody's gonna cry over some random bystander who got caught in the crossfire.

Buffy: (sadly) I am.

And then a later scene from spn 15x07:

DEAN: And so, what, it just costs innocent lives?

LEE: Dean, you and I both know no one's innocent.

(Also even more strikingly paralleled in btvs 4x15 – Buffy: “these are innocent people” / Faith: “no such animal”)

LEE: After everything we've done, aren't... aren't we owed a little happiness, huh? Don't we deserve that much?

DEAN: Listen to yourself. "We're owed." "We deserve." Come on, man. You're not God. Hell, God's not even God.

LEE: Good or bad... the world doesn't care. No one cares, Dean.

DEAN: Well, I do.

And so, after we’ve had the homoerotic bonding of the first half of the episode (which is also a key part of btvs 3x14), and done a version of Buffy and Faith’s argument from 3x15, we conclude with Lee telling Dean they’re the same person, and Dean stabbing him in the stomach, while Lee is glad that Dean specifically is the one who kills him. Which is also what happens with Faith and Buffy in btvs 3x21. And also Dean effectively stabs Lee with a wooden stake – ie Buffy and Faith’s staple weapon. In conclusion: ???!!!

[ambiguousdisorderken]

in your expert opinion what are some of the most destiel-heavy episodes of spn? i stopped watching around season 7 and have no interest in engaging w the plot of the show at all but i’m in the mood for some gay yearning ykwim

Hi anon! Thank you for reaching out to me about this, I’m, no-joke, very flattered. I’d seen a couple posts on this same question, very thorough and detailed lists on Destiel-centric episodes, but at the moment I cannot find any of them, that would’ve answered your request much faster. So, in advance, sorry, my reply is probably coming in extremely late, but I did write this from scratch, so yeah.

Even though storylines in SPN can be very shitty and hollow, I do feel that to get the full Destiel experience -that long-drawn yearning- one would have to watch the entirety of the show, even if Cas isn’t in the episode or if there’s no explicit mention of their relationship/bond because it gives you a better understanding of them as characters and of how their relationship affects the narrative.

Now, you mentioned you stopped around S7, which is completely understandable and justified given the Dick plot game was very weak and, in my opinion, annoying (so little Cas!). I’m going to start listing from S7 in case you want to refresh your SPN before jumping straight into unseen episodes. Also, since you mentioned no interest in the plot and are specifically craving those sweet crumbs of gay yearning, I’ll skip most one-sided / too subtle episodes and cut to the chase.

Lastly, I hate spoiling things, but you’ve probably seen it all on Tumblr. I tried to keep the episodes’ descriptions short, as it might come in useful. Stuck to key words, quotes and/or little comments.

 Season 7

7x01 – Meet the New Boss: Godstiel, sincere apology. Cas: “I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you.”

7x02 – Hello, Cruel World: Mourning. Trench coat melancholy. The heart-wrenching eulogy: “Dumb son of a bitch.”

7x17 ��� The Born-Again Identity: Emmanuel!Cas, reunion, longing, hurt.

7x21 – Reading is Fundamental: Honey!Cas, hug, hurt, reunion, that painful SORRY (board game) scene.

7x23 – Survival of the Fittest: Honey!Cas, forgiveness, adorable, wified Cas. Dean hits us with: “Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas!" but also “I'd rather have you, cursed or not.”

Season 8 (this season is so good and Destiel is the driving motor of it, I swear. If you can, watch it complete.)

8x01 – We Need to Talk About Kevin: Dean in Purgatory looking for the angel.  Cas is referred to as “your [Dean’s] angel.”

8x02 – What’s Up, Tiger Mommy?: HUG!!!, Purgatory reunion, face touch, very romantic. Monster: “ You'll find your angel there.” //  Dean: “Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you.”

8x05 – Blood Brother: Cas vs. Benny cat fight lol. Dean: “Cas... we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.”

8x07 – A Little Slice of Kevin: Cas comes back from Purgatory, but before that Dean starts seeing him in places. Very tragic; hallucinating your dead significant other trope. Has That boner scene. Dean: “I did everything I could to get you out! EVERYTHING!” Cas helps Dean see what truly happened in Purgatory and not his self-altered memories. PACKED!

8x08 – Hunteri Heroici: Hilarious, romantic, intimate. Dean and Cas have an heart to heart. They actually communicate. Cas “I’ll watch over you.”

8x10 Torn and Frayed: They work a case together, and when I say heart eyes…

8x17 – Goodbye Stranger: THIS. EPISODE. Dean “I need you.”

8x19 – Taxi Driver: Separation. Naomi to Dean: "You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty; I only wish he felt the same way."

8x22 – Clip Show: Lack of trust, hurt, tense interactions. Romantic too (basically, Cas gets Dean an apology basket).

8x23 – Sacrifice: Meaningful conversation and a gay couple hit by Cupid parallel. Dean “So this is it? E.T goes home?"

 Season 9

9x01 – I think I’m Gonna Like it Here: Dean prays to Cas IN.A.CHAPEL. Worry, longing, separation. Dean “Please, man, I need you here.”

9x03 – I’m No Angel: Human!Cas and jealous!Dean.

9x06 – Heaven Can’t Wait: Human!Cas TEXT-BOOK LONGING. GAY AS FUCK. Gazing, touching, they even TALK (for real).

9x09 – Holy Terror: Adorable Cas, flirty vibes, happyish, funny. Cas: “Cas is back in town!”

9x10 – Road Trip: Cas comforts Dean, Cas and Crowley bitching at each other, overall protective!Cas.

9x18 – Metafiction. Cas finds out about the Mark of Cain.

9x21 – King of the Damned: Hug, strong boyfriends vibes.

9x22 – Stairway to Heaven: Cas gives up an entire army, for Dean. Metatron about Cas “He's in love………………………. with humanity.”

9x23  – Do You Believe in Miracles?: At this point, it’s canon stated that Cas will do anything and lose everything if that means saving Dean. Metatron to Cas “You draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right?”

 Season 10

10x01 – Black: Demon!Dean and sick/brokenhearted Cas in a slutty robe missing his man.

10x03 – Soul Survivor: ICONIC. Angel on Demon action! Cas turns down Hannah because he’s too gay and in love. Intimate Deancas talk.

10x05 – Fan Fiction: No Cas, but Destiel references. 

10x09 – The Things We Left Behind: That.Lunch.Date. Deancas introduction to co-parenting.

10x14 – The Executioner’s Song: We get Daddy Murder aka Cain. This is a Pivotal episode to understand Dean’s character development. Plus, it has Deancas interactions.

10x16 – Paint It Black: No Cas, but Dean opens up in confessionary; repressed BISEXUAL AS FUCK.

10x18 – Book of the Damned: Charlie meets Cas. Gay energies everywhere. Cute domestic little scene.

10x20 – Angel Heart: PARENTING! Essential to understand Cas from this point forward.

10x22 – The Prisoner: Just… just watch it. One of THEE Destiel episodes.

10x23 – Brother’s Keeper: No Deancas interactions but it’s the finale, and I recommend watching it because next season takes off literally right from here. No time jumps.

 Season 11

11x02 – Form and Void: Could skip to the very end which is when Cas comes back.

11x03 – The Bad Seed: Cursed!Cas. Dean takes care of him, even wraps him in a blanket. He also cradles his face. Extreme Hurt/Comfort. Jacting joices rejoice.

11x10 – The Devil in the Details: Could skip but has Casifer in it. Interesting to see his dynamic with Dean.

11x18 – Hell’s Angel: Casifer. Dean "It? It's not an it, Sam, it's Cas!"

11x23 – Alpha and Omega: Huggg! Cas willing to go on a guaranteed suicide mission with Dean. Very tender and sad.

 Season 12

12x02 – Keep Calm and Carry On: ANOTHER HUG! Dean presents his boyfriend to his mom<3 Soft and romantic.

12x09 – First Blood: Reunion hug<3, Cas pining… as in he counts his every minute without Dean.

12x10 – Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: Direct parallel with canon couple. Crystal-clear mutual affection. One of the best. Angel Ishim to Cas about Dean “I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna cure you of your human weakness same way I cured my own… by cutting it out.”

12x12 – Stuck in the Middle with You: A dying Cas confesses his love. “I love you. I love all of you.”

12x19 – The Future: We find out Dean gave Cas a MIXTAPE!!! Very romantic and full of yearning, also worry and what could be seen as a betrayal (ish…).

12x23 – All Along the Watch Tower: Hands down, one of the most distressing Destiel episodes. Cas dies.

 Season 13

13x01 – Lost and Found: This is the worst because you have Dean trying to assimilate Cas’ death. Core of Dean’s widow’s arc. Jack introduction, that’s their new kid.

13x02 – The Rising Son: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?).

13x03 – Patience: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?). Dean to Sam “He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!”

13x04 – The Big Empty: Continuation of widow’s arc and Cas wakes up in the Empty. The Empty to Cas: "I know who you love. There's nothing for you back there." // Dean to Sam “I need you to keep the faith, for both of us. ‘Cause right now, I… Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing.”

13x05 – Advanced Thanatology: Suicidal and hopeless Dean gets his win. Cas comes back. Gives me the chills.

13x06 – Tombstone: COWBOY BOYFRIENDS!

13x14 – Good Intentions: Happy and fun Destiel scene. So Very Married.

13x23 – Let The Good Times Roll: Season finale, Dean talks about retiring (plans include Cas of course) and just very nice to see them interact.

Season 14

14x03 – The Scar: Reunion.

14x08 – Byzantium: Deanand Cas dealing with their child’s death, then bringing him back by Cas making a deal with the Empty. IMPORTANT EPISODE.

14x09 – The Spear: Cas uses the royal We – married behavior.

14x10 – Nihilism: Dean is stuck in his own mind, and Cas and Sam try to bring him back. Cas “Please, you have to -- you have to try to remember, because the people in your life -- in your real life, out there -- we need you to come back.”

14x12 – Prophet and Loss: Dean gets his very own Dr. Sexy, aka Dr. Cas.

14x14 – Ouroboros: Basically another date (their kid tags along) and They TALK. Very intimate and established marriage vibes.

14x18 – Absence: Shits starts to go south. [ Dean: “Who cares what Jack said? We don't know what happened! But I swear, if he did something to her, if she is -- (points to Castiel) Then you're dead to me. (Castiel looks crushed after Dean says that).]

14x20 – Moriah: Tense and very upsetting. Relationship very damaged.

 Season 15 (I would advise watching the entire season because it relies heavily on Destiel. They’re the heart and the emotional motor leading the plot onwards.)

15x01 – Back and To The Future: Deancas’ in the aftermath of their kid’s death. Tension gets worse.

15x02 – Raising Hell: Tension rises, this is very intense. Cas “Dean. You asked, "What about all of this is real?" We are.”

15x03 – The Rupture: Breaking point ends in divorce.

15x06 – Golden Time: Painful phone call which speaks volumes about the current state of their relationship at the time. Also, good to see where they’re standing and how they’re coping.

15x08 – Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven: Strained relationship so obvious they’re offered couples’ therapy.

15x09 – The Trap: MASTERPIECE. Back to Purgatory. Can (and is) taken as Dean’s love confession (because it is). 

15x12 – Galaxy Brain: So married. Little domestic date, you can see LOVE written in their faces.

15x13 – Destiny’s Child: AU!Dean and Sam. Not a yearning episode per se, but AU!Dean? SO GAY.

15x17 – Unity: God reveals that the only act of free will in any universe he ever created has been Cas choosing Dean.

15x18 – Despair: Cas confesses his love to Dean.

[spn-mediabigbang]

Mobile-friendly Rules

Welcome to the SPN Media Big Bang Rules!

Welcome to the third annual SPN Media Big Bang, a collaborative fan creation challenge similar to fandom bangs that you’re probably used to, but with a movie, TV, book, or video game twist! Writers are free to write SPN fanfiction based on the media of their choosing - that means fusions, AUs, cross-overs, and ‘inspired by’s! Artists will anonymously claim these fics, then create two pieces of art and a banner. We’ve allotted authors several months to create a piece of fanfiction of at least 20k words, and given artists several months to create glorious companion pieces of art.

This time we’re doing the art posting and promo'ing a bit differently, so please read the art rules, regardless if you are an artist or author. ;)

Sincerely from the Directors of SPN MBB,

MalMuses, jscribbles, and Blueeyesandpie (Sunny)

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About the Mods

Meet your Directors!

“Aaaaaaand cut!”

Meet the three freaky-deaky minds that will be running this year’s SPN Media Big Bang. This wacky trio will be the point of contact for teams participating in this year’s challenge.

Jscribbles and MalMuses run all social media for SPNMBB, moderate the Discord community, and will act as support for all people involved in this bang.

Blueeyesandpie (Sunny), this years spectacular addition to the moderator team, will be the first Art Director of this challenge! Sunny will be overseeing the art channels, acting as first point of contact for all artists, and will be generally supporting all the artsy needs of our artsty-fartsy folk.

The Directors are judge, jury, executioner, cheerleaders, fangirls, and a shoulder to cry on - though they hope there is minimal crying unless it is crying with joy because the challenge is so fun.

MalMuses (Director)

MalMuses will be your whiskey aunt, your mom, your best friend, and now, potentially your very own Director. Mal has been in the SPN fandom since Season 9. A late-bloomer by fandom standards, but fully enthusiastic!

Her favorite movies include V for Vendetta, The Village, Shaun of the Dead, and Dale and Tucker vs Evil. In terms of fic taste, she’s the token darkfic, murder-husbands fan, but outside of that, Mal loves her fic as tropey as they come!

Jscribbles (Director)

jscribbles has been watching SPN since the first episode… It’s been 84 years. She remembers watching the first Castiel episode and thinking, “Who the hell is this guy? I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.” It only took about one episode’s worth of Cas screen-time before she was hopelessly obsessed with that trenchcoated son of a bitch.

Her favourite movies involve anything that’ll give her nightmares, a mental breakdown, or fits of laughter that last three days. Some would include Bridesmaids, The Evil Dead, The Time Traveller’s Wife, Galaxy Quest, and The Lion King. Her favourite fanfics involve anything where one or more of the boys is crying and/or having a bad, bad time – with a happy ending!

Sunny (Art Director)

Sleep? I don’t know her! Sunny’s your personal solar-powered battery: hit-her-up for a pick-me-up, any time of day or night. She only got into SPN two years ago, but she’s happy to share who and what she loves with anyone who will listen.

Her current favorite non-SPN media includes Good Omens, Stranger Things, and American Gods, but her faves list is miles long. When it comes to fic she gravitates toward Endverse!Cas…give me that snarky nihilism any day, baby!

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Discord Rules

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Authors and artists will receive a link to our Discord server in their welcome emails.

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The directors will be there for you as cheerleaders, support, to answer questions, and to clarify rules. Participants in this community are expected to behave like adults, especially since this is an 18+ community and are expected to deal with their interpersonal issues themselves. That being said, directors will step in if a complaint is made, or someone is discussing their fics/art in the wrong room. Our priority is to keep the claims process as anonymous and fair as possible.

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Our rules are very simple:

Authors: Do not discuss your fics at all in ‘The Green Room’ (General Chat) or ‘The Red Carpet’ (Introductions). These rooms are open to all server members and any discussion of your fic or fic ideas will jeopardize the anonymity of the claims process. All fic chat is to be in the ‘The Writer’s Room’, the portion of our server dedicated to inter-author communication.

Artists: Do not discuss your art in the ‘The Green Room’ (General Chat) or ‘The Red Carpet’ (Introduction). These rooms are open to all server members and any discussion of your art or art ideas will jeopardize the fun and surprise of posting day. All art chat is to be in the ‘The Art Department’, the portion of our server dedicated to inter-artist communication.

Everyone: Everyone is entitled to their opinions. We do not police what is discussed in the chats, because we believe everyone is an adult and can handle themselves. That being said, we do strive to be an inclusive server and expect participants to be respectful of each other. The directors reserve the right to step in and intervene if they feel the need. Sexism, homophobia, racism, xenophobia, and other forms of offensive disrespect and intolerance against participants may result in disqualification.

Please note: If you sign up as both an artist and author, you will have access to all the rooms, however, you understand that if you decide to sign up as both, you will be restricted to claiming a fic (as an artist) only on the second day of claims. If all fics are claimed on the first day, then that may mean you won’t be able to claim a fic if there are none left. Also, you may register as both an author and artist, but you may not make art for your own fic.

Furthermore, if you are participating in any other fest or bang, please respect their rules and do not use our server to discuss your fics from those fests.

Roles

When participants enter the Discord server, they will be asked to disclose the following information:

What role did you sign up for? Artist, author, both.

Preferred Pronoun?

How did you find out about the SPN MBB?

Authors, once you get your role, please pop into the general author’s chat and introduce yourself to your new author family:

What media(s) do you plan on basing your fic(s) on?

Link us to one of your fics/arts, if you’d like!

General Channels

The Red Carpet: This is our introduction channel. Once you answer the above questions, a director will welcome you and set you loose into the server to be with your people!

Announcements: Only mods can post in this channel. Any new announcements, including reminders of check-ins, general news, and rule updates will be in this channel.

The Green Room: This is a general chat. Every participant will have access to this channel. No discussion of your fic or art here, please.

SPN Spoilers: Season 14/15 spoilers go in here.

The Director’s Studio: A director’s only channel.

The Writer’s Room (Writers Channels)

General Author’s Chat: As with anything in The Writer’s Room, this is authors only. Anything goes in General chat, but if it’s very NSFW, please take it to the General NSFW Author room.

Sprints: This room is for sprints – surprise! A sprint is a timed speed-write. Writers usually record their word count before and after the sprint to see progress.

Looking For Beta: This channel is for authors who need help finding a beta or an alpha.

Author’s Brainstorm: This is a channel where you can get specific help on parts of your fic, so that the general author’s chat doesn’t get bogged down with discussion about one person’s fic. You can post entire passages, get grammar help on something specific, etc.

General NSFW Author: Be as raunchy and inappropriate as you want here. This ain’t your momma’s channel – unless it is, in which case, your mom is invited.

The Art Department (Artists Channels)

Artist’s General Chat: As with anything in The Art Department, this is artists only. Anything goes in General chat, but if it’s very NSFW, please take it to the General NSFW Artist room.

Artist’s Brainstorm: Feel free to post your bang WIP pieces here for critique and help from other artists.

Artist Beta Search: This channel is for authors who want help finding a beta.

Artist Resource: Please feel free to post helpful resources in this room. Sharing is caring.

General NSFW Artist: Be as raunchy and inappropriate as you want here. This ain’t your momma’s channel – unless it is, in which case, your mom is invited.

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General Rules

These are the rules for the 2021 SPN Media Big Bang. These rules are in place to make sure that this bang runs smoothly for all of our participants and readers. If you are unclear on any point, please contact the mods. The excuse “I didn’t know” or “other bangs don’t have those rules” don’t fly, so please ensure you read and understand the rules. The Director team is very nice, very chill, and very open to communication, so please ask if you have questions.

Please note: any of the following rules may be changed or be amended. We’ll let you know in the server if there are any major changes, and always refer to this rules page for current rules if you’re questioning anything.

Please also note: The mods reserve the right to subject individual participants to additional checkins if they have previously participated in one of our bangs and missed checkins without prior permission, skated around rules, or exemplified otherwise problematic behaviour that is not conducive and is unfair to an project that has you as part of a team. We also reserve the right to subject individual participants to additional checkins if they are late to/or don’t submit a check-in during first-check-in. We may also remove the participant from the challenge if the reason for missing the check-in is insufficient.

Director? What’s a director?

Great question. Here at the SPN Media Big Bang, we refer to our mods as Directors, because duh, movie-themes…and because it’s fun. (And because we’re nerds.)

Once registered, any issues, comments, concerns, and random exclamations of love and affection can be directed to your mod.

Who can sign up?

Anyone, although you must be over 18 on the date of your sign up.

How do I sign up?

You must register on the sign-up form. We will post the link to our registration page on our Tumblr. You must provide us with the following information, so please be prepared with this once you click into the form:

AO3 username (a requirement for authors).

Artists may sign up with whatever username they want to be known by and referred to within the required Artists Note; they may use any site they wish to host.

Are you an author or artist, or both?

Are you 18 or over?

Do you understand the rules?

Do you understand that you are required to use Discord?

Any questions or concerns for the mods?

Directors! The SCHEDULE! Please, tell us all about it.

Mods will send out reminders over Discord, but it is your responsibility to know the schedule.

Participants must meet all check-in points and submit drafts on time.

The schedule is determined right at the beginning of the challenge and will be both posted in the Discord server as well as on the Tumblr. Again, “I didn’t know about this-and-this date” is not an acceptable reason to miss a check-in or posting requirement. Please be organized; we suggest adding these dates into your calendar.

We are open to talking about changing/moving dates. We want this challenge to be fun for participants, so if there is a general consensus on a date change, we’re open to negotiating that. :)

Something in the rules is unclear… Help!

All participants are expected to follow all the SPN MBB rules. If you do not understand something, it is your responsibility to contact a mod for clarification.

I would like to ask a question before signing up! Where do I ask?

Please submit an Ask through the Tumblr page. Because we receive many questions before sign ups, we’ll answer your question privately so as not to clog up the feed with individual questions. If there is a common question, we may reply publicly with a rule amendment or separate post.

Does the fic have to be written in English?

Yes. If some characters do not speak English, please provide subtitles.

Communication

Participants must communicate with their artist/author and the mods in a timely and civil manner.

We have a pretty firm rule about civil communication in the Discord. Participants are expected to reach out over DMs if there are issues they are having, and understand that the public chats are not the place for that. Similarly, the mods will not scold or embarrass someone in the public chat if they’re doing something wrong, we will handle that in the DMs. It should be understood that goes both ways. Everyone is human, we all make mistakes, we are all adults, so let’s be kind to each other. Teamwork makes the dream work!

The BEST way to reach us is through Discord. The SPN MBB email will only be used to receive sign up, check-in, and posting confirmations. If you email us a question, it may be a while before we see it. Please DM on Discord whenever possible, and remember to tag a @mod if you require help from us, it ensures we see your question when we’re online next.

Pairs are required to do an initial check-in with their partner during the first 48 hours of being assigned to each other. There will be several check-ins throughout the bang. These are mandatory.

Internet and Email Access

Participants must have reliable internet and email access. The mods will not be able to help you in case of software or equipment failure. Have backups and a plan.

Can I talk about and promo my fic anywhere?

Do not talk about your fic until the first art & excerpt post goes up. Do not create your own promotional material outside of the art posts (i.e you may reblog or tweet a link to the art/excerpt post, but do not post any other unofficial excerpts. If you are unclear about this, please ask a mod in the Discord server and we’ll further clarify.)

To ensure the anonymity of claims, please don’t reveal any details of what you’re working on publicly prior to claims. It is perfectly fine to discuss privately one-on-one with your alpha or beta reader, or in the official Discord server.>

Can I pick my own partner? How do claims work?

You will be teamed up through the art claims process and may not pick your own partner.

As for how claims work; all authors will provide information (details will be posted on the server) and a summary which the mods will then assign an author-less ID tag to. A few days before claims day, all artists will have access to the summaries, and can pick their top three fics for which they’d like to create art for. On claims day, the artists will submit their top three choices to the mods, and once all fics have been claimed, the teams will be announced on the Discord server to participants. We do not announce pairings live.

What if I need to drop out?

If you drop out before Art Claims, there is no penalty.

If you drop out after Art Claims, you will be barred from participating in any future rounds of this Bang or any Bang run by this mod team.

Help! My artist disappeared/dropped out. What happens now?

We hope that this never happens, but unfortunately, we always have a couple. Don’t fret, little birdie, the Directors will ensure you have art!

We will assign a pinch hitter artist. The artists in this community have been awesome so far and no one has been left behind in the past. <3

Disqualification is a thing. What sort of things could lead to a disqualification?

My dudes, we don’t like to do this. As a matter of fact, if this could be avoided, everyone would be immeasurably happy. However, sometimes it happens. What types of things could lead to a disqualification?

If you act like a dick. What qualifies acting like a dick? Being nasty, name calling, repeatedly rude to your fellow participants, mods, or your partner qualifies as Dick-age.

Racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic, hate-speech, transphobic etc. rhetoric.

Not reading the rules, disregarding rules that you don’t like, and/or failing to follow them. As we’ve said: “I didn’t know” is not a valid excuse for dropping the ball when rules are clearly posted in advance and reading them is a requirement of registration.

Failing to provide the requirements for art and/or fic.

Failing to communicate with your author/artist and not replying to the moderators in a timely fashion. If you go missing and do not communicate for 7 days of someone trying to reach out to you, you will be disqualified and a pinch hitter will be assigned.

Final Thoughts

Finally, please use common sense. Your mods will do the best they can to make sure this challenge runs smoothly. So, if a rule says you can’t do X, don’t try to find a loophole that allows it.

The Moderators also reserve the right to bar future participation for inappropriate behavior toward any mod, author or artist, or for breaking any of the other rules of this bang. If you are unsure about anything, please just talk to us!

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Fic Rules

SPN Media Big Bang? What does that MEAN, Basil?!

For this challenge, we are looking for our authors to write a SPN fanfiction based on a movie, TV show, video game, or book. The works created can be a fusion, canon, an AU, it can be 'inspired by’, or a crossover. Please see the links below for more information on the differences between those type of crossovers:

Fusion

Crossover

AU (Alternative Universe)

'Inspired by’: These fics are fics that are based on media but don’t share the characters or even necessarily the setting, but do follow a similar plot structure or series of events. Some characters, events, or entire scenes may parallel the media’s scenes. If you need an example, please message a Director.

What are the content requirements for fics?

Fics: minimum of 20,000 words, and no max.

All genres, all ratings, all characters, all ships & gen, all kinks (barring underage) allowed.

RPF and underage is not allowed. Please don’t DM us asking for an exception, it won’t be granted and we won’t argue with you about it. It’s a hard no. All characters in your fic engaging in sexual activity must be at least 18 years old, and graphic, dark violence against minors is also heavily discouraged. If the violence is absolutely necessary for your fic, it can only be mentioned in passing, and cannot be a focal point of the scene/overall story/plotline.

The title of your fic does not have to be the title of your media (movie/book/tv/game), however, the original title must be included in your AO3 tags and summary, e.g. “Inspired by That Movie”, “A That Movie AU”, or “An SPN/That Movie Crossover”.

You must tag/warn for any of AO3’s major archive warnings. Please tag fics appropriately. The Mods reserve the right to disqualify any fic with deliberately misleading tags.

You MUST have a beta reader go over your fic before your posting date.

Dub-con, non-Con, and other darkfic staples are also allowed, but they must be appropriately tagged. These situations are only to be described in graphic detail if the parties involved are over 18, as per previous rules.

You cannot submit more than one fanfic.

Co-writing is allowed.

Your fic must be at least 50% complete, with the remainder outlined, in order to qualify for artist claims. “I don’t outline” is not a reasonable excuse for not meeting these requirements.

If you are co-writing a fic, each author must register individually.

Your work should be brand new for the challenge or a previously unpublished WIP.

There will be an official AO3 collection and all fics are expected to be added. The mods will do these in bursts every few days during posting, so please be patient if your fic doesn’t show up in the collection right away.

Your fic must be posted in its entirety on your posting date (i.e don’t post a chapter every few days.)

You cannot commission or request more art from other artists for this fic after the bang. The fic has been written for this challenge, and part of that includes being in a strict partnership with only your assigned artist for this project.

If you are uncertain whether your fic qualifies in any way or have circumstances not outlined here, please email the moderators with details. Again, “I didn’t know” is not a reasonable excuse for oversights, so please ask, ask, ask. <3

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Art Rules

Participants may register as both an author and artist, but may not create art for their own fic regardless of circumstance. Artists will be granted one fic in the first round of claims. Additional fics may be claimed in the second round of claims if desired. By participating in the claims process, artists are agreeing to create a minimum of one promotional banner AND two pieces of artwork per fic claimed. Artists may create more art if they desire, but they are not required to do so. Additional banners, text separators, icons, and other decorations are welcome, but do not count toward the minimum art requirements. Banners must be original artwork at a minimum size of 540x360 pixels. (This is a 3:2 aspect ratio if you prefer to work at a larger size and then scale down.) Banners should contain the fic title, author, and artist. They should not contain any elements that may spoil the fic for readers. Artwork should be a minimum of 540px wide if posted to Tumblr. Final size and orientation are up to artist, with the understanding that extra large artwork may not display properly on mobile devices. All fics will be required to have an artist’s note, which will be included with the fic at all times. This note should include links to the artist’s chosen website(s), as well as include a line or two about the artist’s experience creating the art–inspiration, process, etc. At each art deadline, the artist will post their completed piece with an excerpt from the fic underneath (excerpt will be the authors choice ultimately, but it’s always nicer in the spirit of teamwork to choose together. ;)) The banners will not be posted until the fic posting date. At final posting of the entire fic, art must also be embedded in the AO3 fic itself. The artist is responsible for hosting art on a service that allows remote linking. Authors will be responsible for embedding the art in their fic. More information on that will be posted closer to the posting dates. Artists must regularly communicate with their authors. This is a partnership, not a commission; frequent progress updates will ensure everyone involved has a good, non-stressful, experience. Please note: If you sign up as both an artist and author, you will have access to all the rooms, however, you understand that if you decide to sign up as both, you will be restricted to claiming a fic (as an artist) only on the second day of claims. If all fics are claimed on the first day, then that may mean you won’t be able to claim a fic if there are none left. Also, you may register as both an author and artist, but you may not make art for your own fic.

[dotthings]

15.06. A great wrong has been righted. Hope is allowed in this narrative. I hope Chuck is brooding in his brooding dark castle somewhere, gnashing his teeth and cursing the heroes like a proper villain.

The Dean and Cas breakup and Rowena’s death are in the “Then” so I knew this was going to be a doozy.

Excuse me, random witch I don’t know STOP TOUCHING QUEEN ROWENA’S THINGS THIS INSTANT STOP THAT.

Back in the bunker, Sam is not looking good. Tired, a bit damp-eyed haggard, and randomly cruising weird lore and stuff on the internet, like he’s throwing spaghetti at the wall, any lead, any hunt, just something, that will help them or keep him from feeling helpless. Jared was so great in this ep, showing Sam’s anxiety about Chuck, his ongoing sadness about Rowena, but also hope and joy because of Eileen, and my heart just aches.

Dean’s still stress eating, shoving dry cereal in his mouth and pretending to be cheery and marathoning Scooby Doo (comfort watching). He turns down going with Sam on the milk run and is hanging around in his bathrobe. This is a lot like Dean in S14 after being possessed by AU Michael. Anyone still think Dean has been perfectly okay since 15.03? LOLOLOL. Nor is this just because of finding out Chuck is still out there. Dean’s been stress eating and day drinking and trying to hide behind food pranking before they found out Chuck was back. He’s still reeling and avoiding his Cas feelings, which were complicated by the nihilism Dean feels because of Chuck, and now on top of that, they know that Chuck isn’t actually gone.

While Cas’s coping mechanism is to go fishing, something he says he learned from a friend is a way to find some peace. So Cas is getting away from his feelings by emulating the person causing the feelings he’s trying to avoid right now. Also note, in S11 Cas dealt with trauma by turtling in his room marathoning tv shows, which is also a Dean method of coping with trauma. We get to see Cas standing on his own, an autonomous and competent hunter, and that’s important, but Dean’s impact on Cas, his link with him, their similarities, doesn’t go away.

I really like we get to see Sam jogging. It’s one of those things, like sparring, we’re told happens and don’t get to see. Cas goes fishing, Dean hides out in his bathrobe eating sugary cereal watching Scooby Doo, Sam goes jogging. Everyone’s got their way of coping.

EILEEN!!! EILEEN IS A GHOST IT IS GHOST EILEEN HI EILEEN HI HI!!!!

So she’s been trying to get them to see her and Sam finally does. Little bit of a parallel back to S8 and Dean haunted by seeing Cas everywhere and Cas turns out to be real.

So Eileen needs help getting her soul into Heaven. I’m disappointed she actually really was killed instead of my theories because the way she was killed irritated me so much but I’m really happy that despite that actual narrative mistake where spn mis-stepped, her story isn’t over, this hole in my heart is healing wow thanks spn.

Dean seems weirdly okay with the idea of Sam as heir to Rowena’s magical lore and I honestly expected him to be more resistant but a lot has happened, characters grow, Dean cared about and trusted Rowena. So that’s interesting. He’s for it.

Sam’s sad face is just getting to me all over this episode.

“I need to find my son.” Cas’s sad sad face listening to this distraught parent. Of course he’s going to help her find her son. Of course he is. Of course his fishing trip is over. A hunt found him and of course he can’t turn his back on a parent who wants to save her child. What we see in this ep is Cas enacting what Sam and Dean have been saying about why they do what they do, even if things are miserable and it seems hopeless, but if they help others, that makes things better for the world.

Sam empathizing with Eileen about having been in Hell. Oh, my poor babies.

All right, Columbo, I mean “Agent Worley” is on the case. And the local law enforcement wants to check with his supervisor OH GOD OH GOD THE PHONE IS RINGING IN THE BUNKER DEAN IS ANSWERING IT

“He wants to talk to you” OH THAT’S FINE MY HEART JUST DROPPED TO MY TOES THAT’S COOL COOL COOL

“Sam’s been trying to call you...check your damn messages” and Dean checking on Cas and warning him about Chuck. Listen, I am Cas in this scene, Cas is me. Cas just LOSES IT and so did I. Dean, wtf, my dude, my pet, my love, my dumbass, it was your idea to alienate him, and *now* you’re telling him not to be a stranger, and warning him about the big bad that is a threat to them all, oh Dean, oh honey, you really do suck at being done with Cas, and Cas sucks at being done with you.

So Cas has a smol nervous breakdown because DEAN and rubs his hand hard over his face and can’t hold character as Agent Worley then pulls it together to maintain his cover.

I know, Cas, I know. Dean can be A LOT.

Sam finding Rowena’s journeys has got me all thinking about how Sam goes from blood relative legacy of John’s journal that Sam didn’t really choose but eventually appreciated as legacy to found family legacy of Rowena’s journal, a bond and a legacy Sam chose.

Sam telling Eileen what happened to Rowena OH MY HEART. This episode is a lot.

Eileen trying to comfort Sam and her ghostly hand goes right through him...and at the end of the ep they can touch. I WILL BE SHOUTING ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE.

“Her magic. This is how she kept control.” Sam talks about how Rowena understood how the deck was stacked, Sam talks about Rowena in a way that shows how deeply he understood Rowena. *cries*

Sam wants to bring ghost Eileen back to flesh and blood life. *screaming internally*

Seeing Cas in researchy mode, helping others, giving others hope, being a competent autonomous hunter THIS IS SO GOOD.

Loved the way Sam and Eileen use sign in general. And Sam signing “my brother” to Eileen so she can get help for him as he’s captured by the witches.

Seems weirdly apt the actress who played Chuck’s publisher now plays one of the witches who kidnaps Sam.

We’ve often seen spn use toxic siblings as dark mirrors for Sam and Dean, cautionary notes and red flags. In this ep the toxic sibling mirror seems to allow to highlight the functionlity of Sam and Dean. The witch sister pranks that were malicious and harmful vs Winchester pranks that aren’t harmful, but done out of affection, and to lighten the strain they’re under from what they do.

Enjoyed these scenes with Melly and Cas as Melly talks about her son and how they fight but “we’ll get through.” Relevant familial stuff there, and applies for parents and kids, siblings, or, y’know, whatever pseudo-spousal thing Dean and Cas have going on. Cas also relates to Melly as someone who rejected their expected roles put on them by higher ups in the chain, and wanted something better. Free will.

Yes I so like that Cas gets a win in this ep. He finds the missing son, reunites a family. Melly and her son seem to take the whole supernatural being savior hero thing fairly calmly, considering. And this ep also reminds us, very clearly: Cas is a hero. Sam and Dean are not the only heroes of this story.

I enjoy badass Cas and Cas was an able hunter in this ep but he really is NOT okay. A simple clean kill would have been enough for this djinn, but the way he kept stabbing the monster over and over, splattered in blood that isn’t his own, he’s compensating or something. Cas looked anguished. Cas is dealing with a lot. Feeling rejected by Dean, losing the only family he has, and his anger at Chuck for messing with them all so severely. Cas went to the woods and the lake seeking peace and wound up covered in blood.

Hm, so Cas can heal the boy’s ankle but he struggles to use his grace, which seems to be spluttering like it’s low on fuel. Looks like those human Cas metas are still pointing in likely directions.

“If I stay nothing changes...it’s time for me to get back in the game.” Yes he could stay in the woods and the lake and fish and take the occasional hunt, and hide forever from the ones he still loves but doubts his place and hide from the urgent main fight. But he can’t. Back the game...is also coming home.

Ghost Eileen is a badass and saves Sam HELL YEAH. Rowena’s legacy, Dean racing in last minute, and ghost Eileen, all saved Sam in this ep.

“I learned from the best.” Sam using Rowena’s teaching to defeat the witches. There’s that legacy again.

The spell to restore ghost Eileen to flesh and blood involves a bath that seems ritualistic, with Sam performing the spell. I am NEVER getting over how Sam is shaking with emotion while he courteously keeps his back to her. Never ever ever. And then their hands...finally touching. Clasping each other. And Sam hugging damp Eileen. Sam’s FACE. Oh my god I’m never ever getting over this.

This is so hopeful and joyful and it still hurts, Sam has been through so much and he’s had so much pain, and since Eileen was introduced, she seemed to bring out a light in him that gave me a pang right here *taps chest*. We’re seeing it in this episode. OUCH OUCH MY HEART.

Eileen is a great character in her own right and I love her and disliked how she was killed off so so much and it helps so much that SPN did this and restored her, and Eileen and Sam together, just gets me. Right in the chest.

This last Sam and Dean scene. “I don’t know what’s God and what isn’t” says Dean. HELLO WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING AND SAYING ABOUT DEAN’S STATE OF MIND AND WHY HE’S ACTING THE WAY HE DID TOWARDS CAS.

“We’re the guys who break the rules.” WOW LOOK IT’S MY METAS ENACTED VIA DIALOGUE

Sam is basically taking my position—that while Chuck manipulates some events, he can’t control everything and they make their own choices and do the unpredictable things. While Dean is caught in the nihilism of believing everything was manipulated, almost nothing was real.

Just as I don’t think Chuck wanted Cas to come back in S13 and that was an unpredicted twist, I don’t think Eileen is back due to Chuck’s meddling. Eileen’s spirit sought out Sam and Dean, Rowena’s legacy, her unfinished spell for Mary, is what allows Sam to perform the ritual spell to restore Eileen. As Cas has been tied to Dean’s sense of hope, Eileen has been an immensely hopeful figure for Sam. I don’t think Chuck wants them to have this. Can’t be 100% sure, maybe he wants them to have their hope just so he can crush them even harder, but these relationships being part of breaking out of Chuck’s machine, to make their own rules, find hope despite those machinations, makes sense to me.

“I need my brother.” Yes, you do. You both do. Sam and Dean don’t just need only each other, but they are rule breakers and they do need each other. Team Free Will is essential to break Chuck’s machine, and Team Free Will is Sam & Dean, Dean & Cas, Sam & Cas, and all 3.

While the ice has broken a bit between Dean and Cas in this ep, they still aren’t talking about Cas. But their biggest wild card is on his way home and they are Team Free Rule Breakers, all three of them.

[cuddlemonsterdean]

A little Supernatural question, fill-out, thing! Pop the questions into a text post and answer for yourself if you want!

1. When did you start watching Supernatural?

October 2012, when season 8 was airing, and right around the time everything in my life was taking a serious nose-dive that was about to get much worse. honestly if i hadn’t found it then, i don’t know if i’d still be here at all.

i didn’t even have an account yet so i was browsing someone’s blog that had stuff from all kinds of fandoms on it. around that time i had been lurking in the batman fandom for a bit but it wasn’t really doing it for me so i was looking for something new to obess over. i kept seeing gifsets and stuff from spn, so i thought i’d give it a go. the first ep i watched was Lazarus Rising, and within not even 10 minutes i knew that this was it

2. Who is your favorite in TFW? 

I just love dean so much - he means everything to me. he’s taught me so much, he makes me happy, he inspires me. he makes me be brave when i don’t wanna be

3. Who is your least favorite in TFW? 

that’s a weird question??? i might not blog about them as much but i don’t dislike sam or cas. honestly it makes me sad when people (as in, fans) try to pitch tfw against each other

4. Tag your top 5 Supernatural blogs! 

i don’t follow a whole lot of people because i’m cautious of wank and stan wars and such but i love having @postmodernmulticoloredcloak @wigglebox @jensensitive @dotthings @occamshipper @mittensmorgul @deathswaywardson and @softcuddlydean on my dash :) (...that’s eight already. and i probably forgot someone. i’m not good with numbers okay!! o(>.<)o)

5. Who is your favorite character (not including TFW)?

it’s so hard to pick one but - Donna!!! i love her so much, she’s so upbeat and fun too watch but she has depth too and layers and i’ve really enjoyed how they’ve developed her as a character. i kind of look up to her :)

6. Who is your favorite woman in Supernatural? 

basically the same as above but - honestly all of the women are awesome

7. John or Mary? 

i don’t like this vs trend but Mary. maybe she’s difficult to love, but i personally really appreciate the decisions they made regarding her character and her character development, that she wasn’t this perfect mother dean remembered. i’ve never, ever, been able to relate to a mother child dynamic on tv before mary and dean. oftentimes mothers are portrayed as either perfect or evil, and to see this struggle, this gray area - it meant a lot to me, it was really powerful. i in general appreciate the message that it’s possible to both love and hate your parents at the same time, and that it’s something that’s just allowed to be that way

8. What were your first opinions of Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack? 

i honestly don’t really remember. it’s also difficult because i already had half a foot in fandom and was also watching season 8 while it aired while also playing catch up on season 1-7 at the same time. with jack, i remember that i really appreciated alexander calvert’s acting choices, because he did this blend of innocent and ominous/threatening so well

9. What’s your favorite season? 

if you’d asked me this during season 13, i’d have said season 13, but now it’s definitely season 14 (for now, since 15 just started airing). the michael storyline was like my favorite ever (and inspired my to write what i think is, so far, my best deancas longfic), but also overall the season was so neat and fascinating thematically

10. What’s your least favorite season? 

i don’t really have one, though i’d say while rewatching the entire show over the summer i found season 6 the hardest to get through. not even because of everything that goes down with cas but like - the one and only good thing that happens to team free will there was getting sam’s soul back, and even that had painful repercussions. there is some really interesting stuff in there, but overall it was hard to watch

11. Opinions on Destiel? 

it’s canon. like - if someone tries to tell me it’s not i have to assume they’re being willfully ignorant on the subject (of course it’s perfectly fine not to ship it and stuff but arguing its very existence is kind of ridiculous at this point)

12. Do you believe Supernatural queerbaits? 

no. honestly i kind of feel like that word gets thrown around so quickly and so frequently people have forgotten what queerbaiting actually is and what it is not, and that’s done some serious damage

13. Seasons 1-7 or 8-14?

again with the vs thing but - 8-14. dean and sam finally have a bigger family and an actual home, that alone always makes me gravitate more to the later seasons

14. Favorite villain (plot wise)? 

Michael (big surprise XD). i enjoyed him so much, especially since he foreshadows what dean’s going through in regards to chuck/god rn

15. Do you think they should end the Lucifer plot line? 

don’t know when this questionaire was made - i think it’s over, and they did well with it

16. Who do you think has gone through more trauma (Sam, Dean, or Cas)? 

honestly, i think with trauma, we shouldn’t compare it like that. they’ve all been traumatized repeatedly - sometimes in similiar ways, but even then everyone reacts differently. it’s not fair to do comparisons, and it doesn’t help either

17. What’s your favorite Supernatural episode? 

i used to say i’m married to The Executioner’s Song, then Tombstone aired and i had the time of my life, and then Nihilism aired - and that ep was like everything i’ve ever wanted. i bet @postmodernmulticoloredcloak can still remember me spamming them via text while watching - which took me like two hours because i kept screaming about everything basically XD

18. Do you like case episodes? 

i love them

19. Who do you relate most to in TFW? 

dean. for all the reasons i already stated in 2., but also i’m the oldest daughter and had to protect my younger siblings as a kid (domestic violence situation, among other things). my younger “sister” and i weren’t blood related but i would have died for her, she meant everything to me. plus, dean’s really emotional but has a lot of protective walls that he needs to survive, and i can relate to that as well

20. Why do you like Supernatural? 

too many reasons to list them all. there’s dean, there’s the whole found family trope. the complexity of the characters and their dynamics, the deeply psychological themes than run through the entire narrative. i think you can really tell that the people - actors, writers, directors, crew - really love making the show, and put a lot of effort into it. it’s not a “perfect” show (which doesn’t exist anyway) but it’s made with love. plus we got this amazing cast that cares so much and gives so much, and it really makes you feel less alone, makes you feel seen and heard even if you never meet any of them face to face. it’s genuine, and it’s rare, and i cherish it, just like the show

21. If you could bring back one character and kill off another who would they be? 

hm, i genuinely can’t think of anyone i’d kill off rn. who i’d bring back - benny was awesome and i miss him. also eileen, but apparently we will see her again in some way, so there’s that :)

@wigglebox i did this because you said you’re tagging everyone who wants to do this, so now i’m stealing your move and saying the same! ;D

[naruhearts]

14x10: Dean Free Will Winchester, Destiel, TFW, and the Only Win

Originally posted by michaeldean

*trips over feet*

I still have no proper words re: the seamless interconnections of TFW/Dean/Emotional Arc-centric meta that most of the meta community has already yelled and written extensively about since S12. 14x10 was a META EXPLOSION, my friends. I had complete chills!! Yockey’s magnificent soup lent us years of Dean/TFW-characteristic meta narratively realized like some colourful picnic basket of psychology.

I’m sure I missed some awesome stuff considering I haven’t rewatched it yet, but for now, here’s my semi-coherent first-impression thoughts (some of which I copy-pasted from twitter) under the cut!!

On the other hand, if you don’t want to read this massive post, it can be succinctly summarized in one phrase:

Originally posted by @intelligentshipper

Dean is the cage. Man, yes I know, the NARRATIVE WEIGHT AND SYMBOLISM OF DEAN LOCKING HIMSELF UP; Dean’s possibly in “physically rough shape” (translation: emotionally rough shape) inside the cage he built for himself. As the Master of Repression and Locking Up Emotions, this unhealthy psychological mechanism in this case becomes his controlled strength against the core of his trauma and everything Michael represents *points at Dean meta* therein lies the beautiful paradox of the human condition. Dean Humanity Winchester is the poster boy for it. It’s all led to this! Don’t you love when our characters undergo self-translation from unwanted/coerced destiny to chosen role (after Michael manipulated Dean’s freely given “Yes”. And recall the same key theme with Sam occupying the position of Gatekeeper to Hell re: Lucifer trauma in 14x01)? 

x

14x10 in itself offsets the rest of what we’re gonna see characteristically as per TFW’s individual narrative journeys (and Destiel arc; we’ve observed the continuation of Dean and Cas role reversals as per usual, with Mind!Pamela and Father Figure Michael serving as heavy-hitter Casifer-reminiscent exposition). “Nihilism” and “Damaged Goods” paired through subversion, where Dean going on a ‘suicide’ mission via imprisoning himself with Michael isn’t done out of SOLE low self-worth (don’t get me wrong, he still hasn’t fully emancipated himself yet) but mostly 50% low self-worth and 50% martyrdom for his loved ones. Toxic codependency is no longer the basis of Dean’s self-sacrificial choices, but LOVE AND…LOVE. However, Dean still assumes he deserves to imprison himself. Michael capitalizes on Dean’s depressive trauma and low self-worth in that his conditioning since childhood to internalize self-blame for Sam and Cas’ problems - the world’s problems - works in the Archangel’s favour. He both projects Dean’s fears onto Sam and Cas then breeds their self-doubt by framing them as lacking genuine altruistic value to Dean and hitting TFW where it hurts altogether. A double-double coffee of anguish. 

Here we come back to Michael’s overarching role this season as the Harbinger of Truth (as I wrote about when the season first began x x) 

Michael!Dean assumes he knows what people want, and yes, maybe in some respects he does in fact know, but I mentioned that he distorts a person’s sense of “worthiness to be saved” (oh, I wonder where I heard that previously) by exploiting their self-hate/respective mental uncertainty of their wants vs needs.

That’s the GOLD about Michael’s role: he’ll be uncovering an entire interpersonal discourse on the characters figuring out (and using their damn communicative skills to accentuate) what they WANT vs. NEED. Again, clarification of truths. 

In 14x10, we were largely reminded of Michael and his intrinsic link to S14′s themes and TFW (copy-pasted from my 14x01 review meta; meta builds and builds on itself!):

WHAT DO YOU WANT, A New Beginning (a New World Order, a Better World in Michael’s case reminiscent of S6/7 like I expected. Michael is the absolute antithetical figure to Dean Humanity Winchester, who is blinded by authoritarianism), Love Is Weakness (Love is also STRENGTH, and different kinds of love exist, where we see more singular vs plural dialogue e.g. Cas’ “You have me. You have all of us”) and Family Is Unity.The fact that Michael is the one asking people what they want, specifically directing it to Anael the Destiel/Cas mirror (which she was in 13x13), bodes VERY well for me. He’s going to hold a key overarching position in the clarification of truths and Want Vs Need for TFW with significant flavours of past Eldritch Expositional Big Bads like Amara. Anael is feeling a lack of kinship. She desires belonging. A home. And it’s all very human of her. Because of this emotionality, Anael has FALLEN.

What is your truth? Confront your truth. Accept what you see in the mirror (like I was saying the other day) and glue that broken reflection back together into something empowering. Honest. Genuine. Self-actualizing. And considering Dean is imprisoned within his own body (confinement/imprisonment was again tangible across the episode both plot, visual, and characteristic-wise where TFW, impacted by Dean the Heart Hero’s absence, left a gloomy sense of detachment, helplessness, expendability, and failure internalization) and considering Dean is no doubt hearing Michael reiterate this main thematic question has me buzzing with the joys of self-introspection!!

What do you want, Dean Winchester? What do you want, Cas? What does everyone want?

**Michael additionally gauges the purity of potential recruits for his Supermonster army via hunger. What are you hungry for? What do you crave? Seemingly calls back to S5 Famine and the emptiness derived from losing something alongside experiencing trauma. And when Michael offers you the misleading opportunity, will you take it? Are you worthy? Michael distorts worthiness (Dean’s worthiness; indeed, Dean fills the episode’s negative spaces) by exploiting self-hate. Cas enhances (Dean’s) worthiness by providing freedom.

The “turning point” between Dean and Cas in 12 may actually be Dean saying goodbye (then perhaps finding out about Cas’ deal; we shall see). This could call back to 11x23, where Dean was also surrounded by his family pre-sacrifice. Dean thinking he needs to “die” - to lock himself up - in order for them to win may segue into TFW “wishing” things were different, thus somehow inducing John’s return (and possibly Chuck’s re: Daddy Issues) in 14x13.

Dean wasn’t left alone at the end of the episode. His family - Sam and Cas - were there with him as the wonderful antithesis re: Michael isolating Dean. Separating family ends up unifying family, BUT like I said above, he was still able to hit them where it hurt. Michael the Manipulator used words to twist their thoughts into self-doubt - sow self-discord, yet TFW worked as a unit to strike back. Lessons learned: stronger together, weaker apart.

x

Sam and Cas occupying the dark Empty-parallel space in Dean’s mind. His MIND was an EXPOSÉ. ALL THE TRAUMA, and it’s incredibly significant that we observed Cas scanning Dean’s traumatic memories (obviously he’s an angel, but the meta undercurrents of this killed me). Cas has now actually seen/felt/heard Dean’s trauma, anguish, and long-running depression instead of Dean using his words to tell him about such trauma; it’s ingenious storytelling, not to mention Sam introspecting over Dean’s own trauma in order to find him was SUPER uplifting and META ironic --> Finding Dean involves happiness. Most importantly, Cas was witness to Dean’s low self-worth, negative self-process, failure internalization, and fear of the future without blinking, yet he also displayed total worry, compassion, and barely concealed panic - as if he couldn’t bear to think about the multilayered traumatic prison that Michael trapped Dean within. Sam said “Dean is strong.” Cas replies that Dean is “more than strong.” To Cas, Dean’s strength of mind, body, and soul shines, and this is why he’s in love with this man - his charge. He loves him in the face of his trauma and past mistakes. Once I have time, I should discuss the memories we heard, but of course they involve his time in Hell (and his S3 mirror telling him he will become a demon. Moc/Demon!Dean callbacks). 

CAS: So much. So much trauma in Dean’s mind. There’s so many scars.

SAM: Well yeah. Dean’s been through a lot, but he’s strong.

CAS: Sam...you’ve both been through a lot, and Dean is more than strong [...] Because Michael has Dean trapped away - drowning - I have to wade through Dean’s most terrible memories.

SAM: Would Michael bury Dean in trauma? Michael said it himself. The reason he left Dean in the first place was because Dean was fighting back so hard. 

CAS: So if Michael wanted to keep Dean placated--

SAM: Dean thrives on trauma. He’s had to his whole life. It keeps him alert -- keeps him ready. But if I wanted to distract Dean, I’d give him something he’s never had before.

CAS: Contentment. 

x

(**Sam’s right, but he’s also wrong. Dean “thrived” on trauma because he had to as the consequence of a misguided John-imbued childhood, where he mostly skipped over the innocent era of being a healthily developing child and became an adult overnight: father, mother, and brother rolled into one. A good little soldier, and he created various masks of performativity in response to trauma. Multiple tiny seeds of self-doubt grew into worthless that then bred emotional misarticulation, repression, and psychological instability. x)

14x10 majorly ties into SPN’s season-long storytelling commentary on TFW’s perception of Happiness and the overarching themes of Happiness vs Sadness. Cas stated to Jack how The Life™ rarely gives oneself happiness last episode. Ultimately, can you believe Dean’s accrued trauma has been textualized like this?! 

Michael knows that Dean has never been happy. 

Dean never lets himself have what he wants to have nor be who he wants to be. He is entrapped by fearing real happiness, and his trauma holds him back from achieving what he wants - continues to make him believe that he doesn’t deserve to be content.

And Dean certainly wants Cas. He is fully cognizant and self-aware of this fact. Narratively reconsolidated in musical exposition by the Marshall Tucker Band’s “Searchin’ for a Rainbow”, Dean searches for the rainbow endlessly, but he’s uncertain…afraid of the wind’s flow (and his internalization of low self-worth remains –> he believes “all good things come to an end”. Temporary contentment, where he’s undeserving of such good things as epitomized by real estate woman who wants to infringe on Dean’s property/dream; ‘sell it out’ literally and figuratively).

Either Dean will find his pot of gold waiting for him, or he won’t, and this is the underlying star-crossed literary beauty of the D/C narrative.

Dean’s sick of pretending. He WANTS the wind to show him the way, but we must remember that, in an episode rich with the concept of authorial authority - writing your own fate and ever-glaring Free Will - he NEEDS to blow the wind himself. If he just allows himself to believe that he can have true happiness, then he will.

*I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR META-INTROSPECTION!* 

Michael’s “I Am You” —> Dean knows he is Michael - the reflection who embodies all the dark parts of himself, just like Dark!Kaia underlined - but he also knows he isn’t Michael, and Dean will use it to his advantage. Dean has what Michael lacks: FAMILY. x

“EVEN GOD CAN DIE.” This cracks open so many parental absenteeism eggs. Cas’ conversation with Michael over Chuck, the ultimate deadbeat absent father figure, was simply an outlet for Michael to attribute his self-righteously immoral actions to his fatherly abandonment. Bitterness. And Cas, more humanized than ever, is aware of Michael’s shortcoming: “confusing loyalty and compassion with weakness”, thus these perceived “weaknesses” are foils to Michael’s preference for isolation, solitude, mercilessness, betrayal, and hatred.

 MICHAEL: Playing nursemaid to a nephilim. Nothing like the Castiel I knew. He would’ve never been so...anemic. 

Loyalty and compassion are human traits - despised by most angels such as Naomi and Ishim; belittled by Michael - that Cas recognizes and practices. *human!Cas feelings* He has evolved, and as I said in my 14x01 Cas meta: 

Earth [is] the true home of Cas the Fish, which bridges his intrinsically human emotionality/disposition as an ex-Angel of The Lord to his sense of belonging. Growing legs to replace fins. Evolution of character. And Dean Winchester, right from their point of contact in Perdition, was the driving spark for his evolution.

“It’s all you,” Dean says to his reflection in the mirror, a repeated mantra, as Michael tries to break out of Dean’s mind, bringing my pre-14x01 meta of MIRRORS to light!! Dean confronted the reflection of himself that he has always hated, where the deep-seated worthlessness that he must eliminate is buried with Michael -- the narrative embodiment of Dean’s toxic shackles: predeterminism, Brodependency, parental absenteeism, repression, toxic misemotionality, and blunt tool expendability as his father’s hammer and society’s hammer. I adore Dean’s consistent self-awareness over the seasons as he learns to differentiate what he can and cannot control. And Michael is jailed inside a FRIDGE *light bulb explodes* It’s time to achieve self-actualization. Sure progress.

DEAN’S “ROCKY’S BAR” EASTER EGGS, MIND!PAMELA BARNES AND DESTIEL

Rocky’s Bar (Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends!!) was an EASTER EGG meta dream set by Wanek, with thematic colours of blue (depression, loneliness, and isolation -- blue is immediately evoked as soon as Dean starts gaining self-awareness of his past trauma-laden life and remembers the real Pamela), dim reds and somber yellows. GOOD STUFF!!

@intelligentshipper​ wrote/gathered superb colour meta on this consistent palette of Self + Depression this season - RED || BLUE & YELLOW || I’ve also briefly touched upon the recurring hues that we saw in another hardcore meta episode: Scoobynatural 13x16.

Hello bisexual colours (pink, purple, blue in this setting; observe the metaphor of this very moment - Repressive Toxic Past/Paternal Figure Michael wrestling for dominance over Dean. We live in a meta world.)

Without sounding redundant, here’s the list of Easter Eggs by sasquatchandleatherjackets/mittensmorgul. 14x10 bursts with so much symbolism that it warrants >2 rewatches!

SEARCHIN’ FOR A RAINBOW by the Marshall Tucker Band playing in Dean’s bar (see above):

I rode into town today In my mind, I said 'Lord I'd like to stay' Something in me said boy, move on Don't know what it is the good lord bred it in my bones

And I'm searchin for a rainbow, and if the wind ever shows me where to go, you'd be waiting at the end and I know, I'd see the hill with that pot of gold.

This old mount I'm ridin', she's gettin' kinda' tired But in my heart she knows there's this one desire She's gonna' take me to the end of our road

One of my favourites: the Daphne Loves Fred carved on the bar counter!! Fred, who represented Dean’s healthy masculinity -- was loved by Daphne, the dual counterpart of Dean’s non-repression: the side of him that adores wearing pink nightgown dresses, pink satin panties, vegetable water, romcoms and romance novels...the side of him that adores and embodies everything defined as “feminine” within a heternormative patriarchy. Reiterating past meta, Daphne also symbolized the traditional poster woman he should be attracted to, but never truly obtains for himself. Why? Because his true desires break tradition, and Dean’s subconscious knows this. They break his harrowing past of repression and psychological toxicity. They throw away what John Winchester wanted for him. x

 And in this--

FB = Winchester “Family Business” = Jensen’s Family Business Beer Co, with FOX RYE and (phallic-shaped) COSMIC COWBOY as FBBC drinks (and the latter evoking 13x06 Space Cowboy and Cowboy!Cas. This episode, guys. WOW.) 

Moving onto Michael’s subtextually telling construct of Pamela Barnes --

x

Mind!Pamela, well, she blew MY mind! @thetwistedwillow already describes amazing crucial points here. And let me provide commentary on the riveting and pertinent subtextual D/C double whammy of their office scene together:

DEAN: How come you always have a boyfriend?

PAMELA: How come you only want what you can’t have? You don’t want me -- you just like to flirt. Besides, I’m a psychic, so I kinda know.

DEAN: All right.

Mind!Pamela asking Dean why he only wants what he can’t have, linked to Pamela having a boyfriend, establishes romantic connotations. Pamela was D/C exposition.

There’s truth in jokes. Pamela's lines to Dean could be construed as genuine interest, but Yockey actually shot that down via Pamela confirming that the flirting is just for fun, with Dean not actually wanting her, and it nudges at the Destiel context. To me, if you move this outside the D/C context, it would make no sense, because the real Pamela did kiss Dean. They had a passing attraction to each other. Why not have them kiss again, then? Well, Pamela encapsulated both Dean’s subconscious psyche and Michael’s mouthpiece. And by Freudian design, both Dean and Michael know who he truly wants. 

Cas is once again ensconced in the negative spaces.

Keeping in mind that Michael has seen Dean’s memories and feelings via possessing him, Michael’s construct of Pamela in the bar setting was, in certain respects, his unsaid Empty-parallel statement: “I know who you love - what you fear.”

Dean wants what he can’t have. He still thinks he doesn’t deserve Cas, and indeed, in his heart of hearts - in the deepest crevices of his being - Michael knows (like most Expositional Eldritch Villains do e.g. S11 Amara) who he loves and what he fears (manipulating Dean’s fears into snake-tongued attacks on Sam and Cas; those statements aren’t true, but human beings are contradictory, and Dean thinking such things about them long ago can still plant self-doubt today, but TFW are strong, and it’s all about conquering negative self-process to come out on the other side unscathed. I mean oh boy, we thought Lucifer was the prime expert on manipulation. Michael’s just as bad as his brother, if not worse.)

Dean is in love with the angel “who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition” (spot-on impersonation by Jensen) and Michael knowing the exact words then punches me in the feels because it’s a profound line...the iconic line verbalized by Cas to Dean in 4x10 Lazarus Rising that offset their love story later on. It’s the prime beginning.

x

To me, Michael hereby implies that he saw Dean’s memory of the first time he set his eyes upon Cas, and that it’s a highly valued memory which caused Michael to taunt it in the first place.

Like others have already pointed out as well, Dean’s memory of Pamela shows True!Form Cas blinding her in 4x01, and that certain memory, on an intriguing note, successfully breaks Dean out of the dream construct.

Since I don’t want to subject my readers to longer rambling, more of my meta on Pamela Barnes, Destiel, and the 13x06 Tombstone M/F Destiel-coded cowboy cutouts in Dean’s Mind Bar can be found here (with some repeated points that you’ve read throughout this post): http://naruhearts.tumblr.com/post/182144879031/14x10-destiel-cowboys-and-pamela-barnes

- - - - 

TL;DR sign me up for the necessary pain!! All the TFW storytelling threads of the last few seasons consistently pushing SPN’s primary themes of Family, Unity, Love and…Love, New Beginnings, Self-Actualization and, of course, mental/emotional CATHARSIS from the old toxic past, will come together. 

On another Destiel-adjacent note: Dean and Cas, their narratives running parallel to each other like they always have (especially since S12), are making the toughest, selfless, and sacrificial choices to save their loved ones (via Michael and Empty) and achieve the greatest win of all: living, hoping, and trusting interdependently.

And then Sam -- additionally making an impossible non-toxic codependent decision that I definitely believe is him giving Dean the go-ahead for self-imprisonment -- will encounter John in Endverse-adjacent AU!AU. *rubs hands together* CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AHEAD.

DEAN’S CAGE/SARCOPHAGUS, 14x11 PROMO, AND FREE WILL

(Screenshot by me from my TV lol)

Obviously we saw very little of 14x11. But I saw enough to flail over it!! 

Dean built a coffin - a sarcophagus for himself. A Pandora’s Box, as coined by @thetwistedwillow who also screamed with me in terms of the heartbreaking circular narrative of Dean’s S14 ‘burial’: simultaneously punishing himself and protecting the world from his failures --> the dual subtext of Dean’s return to ashes that naturally leads to resurrection. Lazarus Rising to Lazarus Dying. 

x

Aka Dean imprisoning himself via isolation on his own free will and ultimately subverting Michael’s efforts to imprison Dean via coercion and possession.

I can’t even believe the sheer metaphorical symbolism of this!! CLOSET!BOX. Seriously. Again, years of Dean meta (and queer Dean meta) roped together in an angsty paradoxical basket by Yockey and co.

For Dean to emancipate himself—and save his loved ones + the world—he’s gotta imprison himself with the current source of his trauma (Michael) as well as deconstruct and deal with all the other remaining trauma he bottled up. Lazarus will rise again.

As Billie says, every single one of Dean’s endgame deaths were rewritten (this textualized TFW as the harbingers of their own destiny, where Dean himself “broke enough rules” to get his endgames rewritten!! I can’t tell you enough how gorgeous that is.), and they all end the same way, with Michael breaking free and using Dean to burn the world to the ground...EXCEPT FOR ONE.

(I had to) x

x

Guys, I’m burning with curiosity!! What endgame did Dean see? Utter shock was written across his face -- an intense disbelief and surprised demeanor, topped off with what seemed like tears in his eyes -- that gave me pause. 

DEAN: What am I supposed to do with this?

BILLIE: That’s up to you.

That’s up to you --> Anubis said: Death, the reapers, and even God have no say. All the rules? All the cosmic constraints? They’re just useless in itself. They pass away. There are no rules. TFW “broke the rules” over and over and over again because they can.

A person’s choices in life dictate their fate.

“It’s about the journey, not the destination.”

In 4x03 In The Beginning (this title, y’all - authors and stories!!), no matter what Dean did to try and kill Azazel so that the subsequent murders of Mary’s parents, John, and the penultimate deal to resurrect John at poor Sammy’s expense are avoided, Dean realized that he could not alter Mary’s choices. Azazel still ended up poisoning Sam with demon blood. He couldn't influence her endgame because she wrote it herself in conjunction with external parties Cupid and Heaven (huh, forced free will paradox). At the same time, Mary’s journey invokes the key subverted difference of the Dean/Cas vs Mary/John parallel narrative which is fundamentally important to remember -- Free Will vs Destiny. Chosen Love vs Fated Love. Mary freely operated on fate’s influence, while Dean and Cas’ first meeting proliferated into a love story no one has ever foreseen, where they both defied subservient expectations and destiny fulfillment. 

From the first point of contact, Dean and Cas seared their influence upon the other in the form of a profound brand. 

x

Dean and Cas can make their own choices -- and have done so -- outside of predetermined plans for them. Dean and Cas’ love in itself blossomed out of free choice. Through rough seas, high tides, bright beaches, and hellfire, their love proved impervious. It was impervious to Heaven, Hell, reapers, and any supernatural force we’ve observed that tried to split them apart over the course of the show.

Attempting to constrain (Love and...) love, the greatest and most powerful force in the universe, is impossible.

The Second Law of Thermodynamics: chaos in the universe, which is the ultimate isolated system, only increases and never decreases.

Cosmic constraints all boil down to, well, nothing. We write our own fates. Michael failed to understand this concept. Destiel/TFW weren’t “defying” rules but acting as human beings with inherent agency the whole time. They are the authors and actors of their lives. Heaven/Hell despised humanity’s free will, when God’s miracle was truly his “mistake”: his draft worlds and giving humans free will. The flawed drafts = the universe becoming increasingly more chaotic.

It’s futile to enforce constraints, labels, and norms. Dean is absolutely narratively framed as the prime Death. The death one encounters depends on one’s choices.

In sum, Dean must LET IT GO. Do what you want to do, not what you need to do, though they go hand-in-hand. Drawing upon the last few seasons pertaining to baptism of the Self and interpersonal relationships, this includes communication, transparency, and quality time together.

x

As I’ve said here regarding 14x07 and Jack’s mirror role: 

We had these wonderfully poignant moments pushing back Dean’s performance: exposing the core of his heart wrapped up in the walls of trauma, guilt, and crippled self-process. Dean sees his Free Self, who is waiting…encouraging him to let go and live life to the fullest.

His Free Self is starting to break the water’s surface — has been doing so this entire cathartic S14 narrative of looking in the mirror (actively hammered down in 14x04/5/6).

Dean’s realizing that yes, life may not be all these big, amazing moments. There’s numerous valleys of pain, horror and death. But there’s also numerous rivers of optimism and joy (hello to the river they visited in this episode. It pretty much re-consolidated SPN’s Rebirth/New Beginning themes carrying over from S12: a baptism of the self and interpersonal relations). Family and friendship. Faith and love. He simply needs to cast his line, catch the fish Cas, and pull it out of water for good aka make the dreams, wants, and desires reality.

As @thetwistedwillow pointed out, Dean’s initial offer to head out to a potential hookup bar was a foil for Jack the Non-Performative mirror of Dean: the wingman move winking at the old (DYING) remnants of his John-polished performativity and calling back to Dean bringing newly minted Cas to the brothel in Free to Be You and Me, in that the night took an unexpectedly not-salacious but sentimental turn. That night, Dean hasn’t laughed so hard in years, even with his own brother.

8 years later, Jack knew what Dean’s heart truly wanted. He felt it. Jack rejected the hookup offer precisely because — just last episode — he perceived Dean’s natural tune. It was casual sex, shacking up, and adios (yes postmodernmulticolouredcloak) no longer. It was romance and courting before dating, which involved emotional exploration and ding ding ding, spending time together (also both on the familial and romantic levels -> BEING THERE with Dean: the key gesture conveying that he deeply matters to you, and you matter to him). Jack wanted the same thing, too.

It all comes full circle. Free to be you and me indeed, since Dean’s almost free of John’s ghost, as a father, brother, and husband. We’ll be here to witness his complete emancipation.

14x10 textualized Free Will and the neverending stories of neverending stories of neverending stories: we can do what we want by formulating our own rules, and each individual has a moral compass influenced by their differing experiences.

Whatever Dean’s seen -- we don’t know what he saw, and we may not EVER know, and it’s literally pure conjecture at this point, but for the sake of meta speculation...legitimate HAPPINESS? His dream bar epitomized in real life but even better, where the realism of it involves not having to sell out ANYTHING nor sell out HIMSELF? Retirement? Dying from old age? Marrying Cas? The ACTUAL beach, toes in the sand, umbrella drinks, with matching Hawaiian shirts? General BAD things leading to good things? Yes, this is Supernatural, and as Cas put it in 14x09: no one can experience permanent happiness in The Life™ , but recall subversion. Death preceding Life - the natural cycle - persists. Dabb & Co have created an SPN narrative plethora of New Beginning cyclism for a while now, so of course I have no doubt that a positive endgame is in the cards -- whatever Dean’s read has stimulated Dean’s motives to build his sarcophagus. He thinks he has an idea of what to do to get to this endgame or (what I expect/hope is) Happy Death?

Heck, in the 14x10 context of Author God, writing drafts, and reaper books -- what if his ending is: 

TA-DA!

It’s up to Dean to write his own ending. He has a blank slate as Author of his life.

The possibility of this blank slate ending as a win at first glance seems to entail the worst kind of choice -- since we all know repressing your trauma and emotions aka locking yourself up breeds maladaptive unhealthiness in the long run -- but it’s an absolutely necessary choice. The final countdown before self-actualization.

I kept saying it last season and I’ll say it again --

Dean Depressed Winchester must “die” so that Dean Self-Actualized Winchester can live. Dean building Pandora’s Box - CLOSET!BOX - for himself is LITERALLY an amalgamation of ‘Deal with your Trauma & Self’.

He should open the closet of happiness, embody self-acceptance, and go after what makes him happy -- what makes him psychologically wholesome, for Cas himself, Dean’s narrative half, tells the truth of his root fears: 

x

Dean does deserve to be saved. He deserves happiness in all of its variant forms -- the eclectic rainbow of beach vacations, retirement, Rocky’s Bar, finding romantic love -- and he must try to believe it himself. His closet!box is the catalytic literal/metaphorical object for this chief realization. 

And to emphasize how important the burial is regarding Dean’s psychological progression, ta-da, my 13x20 Dean meta still applies today, primary themes carried over into S14 by Dabb & Co:

And what are Dean’s WINS (plural) by dying? Saving people instead of losing people–saving Mary, Jack, Sam, and Cas. Saving the world. Reuniting his family unit. Interacting instead of performing. OUTING INSTEAD OF HIDING. HIGH DEPRESSIONLESS SELF-WORTH INSTEAD OF LOW DEPRESSIVE SELF-WORTH.

Better yet, Dean will undergo character development in relation to his loved ones (and Cas). With high self-worth, Dean’s capable of learning how to value HIMSELF independently. In turn, without personal obstacles he’ll learn how to sustain HEALTHY interdependent relationships and COMMUNICATION as well as learn how to WHOLLY GIVE HIMSELF to others (Cas).

Tell Cas he’s not expendable, Dean. Disclose the real reason YOU “needed him back”. Expose your feelings, choose Want over Need, and push away your rejection fears! Cas loves you dearly—let him know that his love for you is reciprocated. Nothing but good things ahead!!

And that’s the mystery of life: to live is to die. To die is to live. By “dying”, Dean saves his loved ones. He saves the world. He saves Cas, his romance-coded (sub)textual lover, Jack his son, and Sam his brother -- his family.

He saves himself. 

His mind, his rules.

And Dean doesn’t know FOR SURE if this burial choice will lead to a win -- neither do we know if he’ll go through with it until 14x11 airs -- but that’s AGENCY, my friends. It’s the meat of particular Time Travel Is Bad tropes: if we know our ending, life loses meaning. The choices we make to get there loses value. Humanity loses unpredictability. Ergo the journey through life - the POINT of living - is about executing choices and taking chances.

"If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do." - Camus, Absurdism 

The biggest reminder governing my SPN viewing as it had last season:

[shallowseeker]

Dean, stricken

(His vision is) fuzzy at the edges, a little warped. The voices have an echo.

///

Again, the odd, hazy POV.

AU Michael is ofc wrong in 14x10 about Dean ONLY feeling sadness "on the outside." (It's indeed a little bit true that Dean feels that Jack is a new burden foisted upon him, that he feels he owes Cas for rescuing him, and that he feels freer and relieved when Sam is off doing his own thing, but human feelings are murky and contradictory and overlaid with so much love that it's not the whole story. Michael is twisting and emphasizing certain parts to create a one-dimensional anxiety.)

Anyway, the crux of the series is that Dean's almost always tortured with sadness and guilt. Sometimes, he's incredibly turbulent inside, even when his outside seems calm. Like all SPN characters, sometimes Dean longs to feel nothing, or to be in a simpler Purgatory of life, with simple kill-or-be-killed rules, like a programmed automaton.

But that's not how Dean is 99% of the time.

This hazy response, often accompanied by nstagmus, is how Dean experiences emotional, traumatic events. His father's death, Sam's death, Jack's death, Mary's death and all of Cas's deaths, especially the one in Despair. When Cas started confessing, you know he was struggling to catch it all, especially if reality switched to this warped, echoey monstrosity.

14x07 Unhuman Nature

(All scripts here.)

[shallowrambles]

I bet Toni coulda had a field day with season 14-15 Dean my god…

X, 12x22

[incarnateirony]

So I know I’ve been beating on the same set of pots and pans about our S15 arrangement, but since some people missed it and I haven’t had time to even THINK about Supernatural beyond a few gif gallery reblogs for a while, let’s remember.

- The entire season is framing Castiel’s importance, even in absence as much as presence. Be that absence in the AUs the boys go dark, Becky pointing out Chuck’s failure to acknowledge him, Sam holding his fate in his hands, Dean’s desperation to recover him, and whatever else.

- The entire season is pointing out the inevitability of Castiel’s demise. Not even from like one angle but two or three. And literally when someone is fated to die that hard, it’s not just a Bury And Be Done. It’s either to subvert by letting them live, or to turn their death into a new kind of birth-- such as Rowena, who had a scripted fate, but turned it into a reformation of hell and convened *specifically* with Castiel about this. Watch who is watching who, who is thinking about what.

- The last few seasons have been teaching us how to let go and move on in a healthy way. Be it Castiel counseling young Jack in lifespan of humans, to acknowledging Mary managed to finally end up happy with John in heaven (whether or not fandom likes or agrees with that). 

- These same morals also pass on to “growing up”. “I saw you, back there, you’re ready for this.” While they predate John and Mary in S14 talking to their boys (Swan Song, “Now you’re a grown--overgrown, man--” “I’ve got him.”) they echo again loudly. “Now you’re a grown man, and I am incredibly proud of you.”/ “Go, mom. Be happy.” -- keep a tack in this.

- Circling back to Castiel and absence, let’s remember the question--who takes over in absence of Chuck? “Jack?” Big Nah energy. But WhOoOoOoo. Well, would that even be a good ending? The next step in fathers casting burdens entirely on their children? 

- Dean and bars is an eternal connection. Be that the Roadhouse (or the 15.4 shoutout), initially enjoying Ash’s bar in DSOTM before calling it “like the Matrix” (with Bobo openly appreciating Baudrillard’s work in that dialogue we had to discuss “handfuls of ideas” despite preferring DeLillo’s actual writing style), Nihilism’s Headbar, or Lee’s bar of dreams, strapped in phrasing right back to Nihilism.  But Dean is also heavily attached to Death, and other elements haunting us this season.

-  “Brother” has always been a theme to SPN, but the evocation of it as punctuation is new to this season. “We lost. Brother.” “See you on the other side. Brother.” -- this last one haunts me as Dean has said this line before, twice actually--once in sarcastic irony about the rift in 12.23 looking ready to accept death, and once saying goodbye to Jo shortly before Swansong. Just, minus the brother both times. This was an episode Jensen directed and he called specifically for Benny to come in and take part as a fan favorite. But the “Brother” punctuation on an old classic line is worth noting. And we all know Jensen and his trolling spoilers. Roadhouse bar commentary be damned.

So anyway, Castiel will have one final, permanent death. But Death is not the end, but a cage of fear Chuck keeps humans in, lest they be divided from others in death in their prisons. It would take the system being entirely reborn, as if by Rowena, or in the womb instead of an angel -- to change it entirely.

It would be redemption for what Castiel blames himself for. Chuck doesn’t account for what Castiel can do, would do, might do, he just ignores him. And he who has the souls is god, so if Chuck is unplugged, what then is he?

Given Rowena seems to be stuck to hell (missing carnal pleasures, etc), and Castiel would then to heaven. But let’s say-- hm, Sam leads a revolution inside heaven while, say, Dean pleads with Cas in the empty to come back and becomes a singularity of rebirth from inside heaven, at the crux of humanity (DSOTM, and 15.13 both on “The Garden” and “God’s throne”). Jack can bring any of them back.

But Cas.

Sooo here’s the thing, do Sam and Dean go back to their side?

Sam has Eileen waiting for him. The burden of heaven, in this spec, is not put on Jack, but instead a new generation for a better world. But someone has to raise him. “I saw you. You’re a grown, overgrown man--and I’m incredibly proud of you. You’re ready for this.” “You loved me, fought for me, that’s enough. I’ve got him. Go, be happy.” 

“See you on the other side, brother.”

Seriously. I’m not even writing this as a wishlist, I’m seeing it ending here. The exact scale of human vs divine (eg if any of them permanently take over for Chuck, Death, Amara, etc or they find a new balance driven by man) I’m out on, even if I’ve been speculating the trading of Death’s Ring in other posts, and been rambling on about the Union By Which Life Exists-- which on a DeanCas level I see as incredibly important and has already been smacked twice this season. But. The above, like-- I’d literally put down bets on at this point. 

Maybe not the dialogue verbatim, but the essence and spirit of it. 

...Given the last line... pretty sure.

Can we start placing wagers while we go nuts from covid hellatus?

[drsilverfish]

DrSilverfish S14 Meta Masterpost

Well, what a wild ride S14 has been. An extremely rich season for meta, and one of the best seasons of the show, ever (in my view, YMMV). It’s been a blast sharing it with all of you, week by week, on the hoof. Thanks for all the discussion, shared sleuthing and musing, gifs, art, fic, meta and more. 

And thanks also to all the readers of, and commenters on, this blog. Reading the tags and replies on Tumblr is still one of the best things. 

High points? The writers’ room’s use of mythology (Greek, Biblical, folktale) this season has been rich and satisfying, but in particular their borrowing of Jung’s psychological drama of the encounter between the Self and the Shadow-self, and his interpretation of alchemical writing as representative of the journey of the psyche towards self-integration (for the alchemists, the journey of the soul to God) has been really beautifully crafted. 

Also, all the call-backs to previous seasons and episodes of the show, as part of Dabb’s Ouroboros narrative, used to shed light both on the past and the present; even down to matching the call backs numerologically for more snake-swallowing-its-own-tail symmetry. 

Stand out episode for me was 14x14 Ouroboros. Steve Yockey is a kick-ass writer and a master of subtext. Noah Ophis the Queer Gorgon was not only a fabulous queer villain but the call-back to Nick the Siren and 4x14 Sex and Violence really reflected on and demonstrated the show’s evolution, as we near the end of the spiral (it’s ages since any female characters have been called a “bitch” or a “whore” for one thing - phew).

Also a shout-out to Meredith Glynn’s 14x08 Byzantium for its lovely re-encounter re Castiel’s relationship to Heaven, his heart-crushing (and uber fairy-tale romantic) deal with The Shadow, as well as for revisiting the awesome Lily Sunder and adding Anubis to the SPN God-machine! 

And to Davy Perez 14x11 Damaged Goods for the most subtextually obvious but also tragically heart-breaking, reference to the Ma’lak box as the closet, thanks to Dean showering sparks all over Donna’s 1970s cowboy porn poster collection whilst building it. 

Andrew Dabb and Meredith Glynn’s 14x13 Lebanon was excellent too; lovely script, outstanding performances from the original Winchester family, a beautiful little side-meditation on who Castiel would have been, if he hadn’t raised Dean from perdition, and some more alchemical symbolism via the “pearl of great price” (AKA the Philosopher’s Stone). 

Meghan Fitzmartin and Yockey’s 14x15 Peace of Mind, was also stand-out, for its biting satire both of MAGA and Heaven, its hilarious whammied Sam (truly one of Jared’s great performances, up there with his Lucifer in The End) and its lashings of queer subtext (from Dean’s fascination with, and anxiety about,  the “snake”, to Castiel’s mirrored heavy improv involvement with Sunny’s dick-worshiping erotic epistles). 

Finally, Dabb and Sgriccia delivered a gorgeously shot, and epic, finale in 14x20 Moriah, the culmination of Dean’s long and painful encounter with the internalised Ghost of John Winchester in his psyche, as he faced, Ouroboros style, a yellow-eyed “monster” who had (apparently) killed Mary Winchester (again) and THE Father, ordering him to continue his own father’s revenge cycle. Chuck Shurley, avatar of God, ultimate dead-beat Dad and author of the SPN multi-verse, is set up to be the meta villain for the final season, as his characters struggle for true free will. 

Here’s hoping MIRROR UNIVERSE and all those zombies busting out of their graves are indeed a giant neon metaphor for the culminating revenge of SPN’s eternal queer subtext.    

Low-point of the season; re-fridging Mary Winchester as part of the Ouroboros narrative, even though Glynn and Berens handled her “death” episodes (14x17 and 14x18) beautifully. Re-staging the drama of Azazel, fathers and sons, as part of the story spiral was, of course, irresistable, and profound for our male hero characters; I get it. But, as I am still convinced this is a fake-out, Mary is not really dead, and we will see her again (see my meta from 14x17 onwards) I’m willing to wait before I write my final meta on the show’s relationship to the feminine principle (spoiler alert, a load of suckage along the way, with the possiblity for a, somewhat contingent, writers’ room redemption arc!). I am hoping both Amara, as the feminine God-principle, and Mary (they are already fundamentally linked) will return in the culmination of the narrative. Symbolically, even given this is, indelibly, a narrative about men and the bonds between them, that return of/ integration with the feminine would be the alchemical and Jungian culmination of the journey, and I’m hoping that’s what Dabb is going deliver; via Jack (Hermes/ Mercury) as the mediating principle.  

As I’m sure you all are, I’m in equal measure gutted and excited that S15 is to be the final turn of the spiral. 

Look forward to sharing all the highs and the lows, as TFW go up against Chuck Almighty himself, with Death, The Empty and metaphysical key Jack Kline Novak Winchester in the mix.  

All my meta of the season (with thanks to many of you for enlightening and fun discussion) under the cut this time, because there’s a LOT!:

1) Stranger in a Strange Land (14x01)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/178991484844/stranger-in-a-strange-land-14x01

2) Queer Gods and Monsters (14x02) 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179226151009/queer-gods-and-monsters-14x02

3) Dramatic Irony and Castiel in 14x02

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179277272094/dramatic-irony-and-castiel-in-14x02-gods-and

4) Jack and Killing Dean in 14x02 (parallels with Dean and Killing Jack in 13x02 The Rising Son)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179430025509/spookyboysam-and-that-means-that-dean-dies-too

5) 14x03 The Scar - Dean Confronts Dark!Kaia (Dopplegangers, Mirrors and John Winchester’s Ghost)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179463975289/shirtlesssammy-14x03the-scar-meta-writers 

6) Batman vs Superman: Connection and Conflict in Mint Condition (14x04) (Plus more John Winchester’s Ghost)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179699654684/batman-vs-superman-connection-and-conflict-in

and some added discussion and further meta with @dimples-of-discontent

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179735406854/batman-vs-superman-connection-and-conflict-in

7) Nightmare Logic (14x05) The Winchester Family Crypt

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179938583519/nightmare-logic-14x05-the-winchester-family

8) Uhmmn... 14x05′s Text Reference Is...? (Nightmare Logic) 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179940786549/uhm-14x05s-text-reference-is 

and some added discussion and further meta (on Dean and the bi-dent) with @paperwhitenarcissus

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179975186264/uhm-14x05s-text-reference-is 

9) 14x05 Nightmare Logic and 13x14 Good Intentions - Dean’s Wardrobe Parallels -  a discussion with @postmodernmulticoloredcloak

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179943183099/postmodernmulticoloredcloak-do-you-think-its

10) Inside Dean’s Head - 14x03 The Scar and 14x05 Nightmare Logic

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179944031049/inside-deans-head 

11) 14x06 Optimism - Cock Meta (end comment on a multi-authored discussion)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/180184985249/14x06-cock-a-doodle-doo

12) 14x06 Optimism - a discussion with @postmodernmulticoloredcloak

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/180201135789/postmodernmulticoloredcloak-drsilverfish

13) 14x08 Byzantium (Castiel’s Relationship with Heaven)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/180903052874/byzantium-14x08

14) The Shadow 14x08 (first in a series of meta on the Jungian themes of S14)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/180906003584/the-shadow-14x08

15) 14x09 The Spear (wounds, penetrations, scars: Destiel)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/181057197034/guysjust-hold-hands-already-protective

16) 14x09 The Spear (Jungian Decoder Ring Edition) (second in a series of meta on the Jungian themes of S14)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/181122764984/14x09-the-spear-jungian-decoder-ring-edition

17) 14x09 The Spear: Ode to Joy

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/181170752319/14x09-the-spear-ode-to-joy

18) The Dean/ Cas Spiral Narrative - S13 and 14 Edition (so far)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/181231154654/the-dean-cas-spiral-narrative-s13-and-14-edition

19) Pamela Barnes in Nihilism (14x10)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182118505974/pamela-barnes-in-nihilism

20) AU!Michael and the Closet (14x10)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182120562849/aumichael-and-the-closet

21) Rocky’s Bar: A Closer Look in Dean’s Mind (14x10) 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182142619479/rockys-bar-a-closer-look-in-deans-mind-14x10

22) Are You There, God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester (S11 Parallels - Jungian meta adjacent)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182150404304/are-you-there-god-its-me-dean-winchester

23) Pamela, The Guardian (this is actually @shirtlesssammy ‘s great meta, to which I added something on Pamela as Dean’s psychopomp and anima - Jungian meta adjacent) 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182196788399/pamela-the-guardian-in-14x10

24) What the Light and Shadow Tells Us (some meta on the S14 promo poster and S13 and 14′s use of light and shadow - Jungian meta adjacent)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182257314199/what-the-light-and-shadow-tells-us

25) A Fridge-Locker, An Enochian Puzzle-Box, and the Closet (14x11 Damaged Goods) 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182303909819/a-fridge-locker-an-enochian-puzzle-box-a-malak 

with some additional discussion with @magnificent-winged-beast and @verobatto-angelxhunter on subtext, canon and the show’s own closet:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182375754379/a-fridge-locker-an-enochian-puzzle-box-a-malak

26) Jung and Dean’s Journey Towards Self-Integration in 14x11 Damaged Goods (third in a series of meta on the Jungian themes of S14) 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182299438269/jung-and-deans-journey-towards-self-integration

27) Damaged Goods (14x11) 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182307242539/damaged-goods-14x11

28) Cosmic Order and Entropy: What’s Death’s Game? (14x11) 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182350642244/cosmic-order-and-entropy-whats-deaths-game

and some additional discussion with @emblue-sparks

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182380817269/cosmic-order-and-entropy-whats-deaths-game 

29) The Riddle of the Sphinx: 14z12 Prophet and Loss (a guest meta for @metafest ) (including more on the Ghost of John Winchester - Jungian meta adjacent)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182482293379/the-riddle-of-the-sphinx-14x12-prophet-and-loss

and some additional meta and discussion with @verobatto-angelxhunter

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182487467794/the-riddle-of-the-sphinx-14x12-prophet-and-loss

and some more with @emblue-sparks

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182501242824/the-riddle-of-the-sphinx-14x12-prophet-and-loss

30) Ouroboros in Prophet and Loss (14x12) (fourth in a series of meta on the Jungian themes of S14) 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182486474324/ouroboros-in-prophet-and-loss-14x12

31) Dr. Sexy of the Lord in Prophet and Loss

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182501242824/the-riddle-of-the-sphinx-14x12-prophet-and-loss

plus self--reblog with more on the “Dr. Novak” alias

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182538453119/dr-sexy-of-the-lord-in-14x12-prophet-and-loss

32) A Pearl of Great Price - 14x13 Lebanon (fifth in a series of meta on the Jungian themes of S14) 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182660472289/a-pearl-of-great-price-14x13-lebanon

with some additional discussion and meta with @mittensmorgul and @paperwhitenarcissus

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182667170284/a-pearl-of-great-price-14x13-lebanon

33) 14x13 Lebanon - Some Silent Storytelling Notes on the Pawn-Shop

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182666922119/14x13-lebanon-some-silent-storytelling-notes-on

34) The Bruise as a Kiss: Cinematic Queerness and the Violence Between Dean and Cas in 14x13

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182669190399/the-bruise-as-a-kiss-cinematic-queerness-and-the

35) An Angel, and Lucifer’s Kid? Queer-Coding and Dean’s “Found Family” in 14x13 Lebanon

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182794294534/an-angel-and-lucifers-kid-queer-coding-and

36) Movie Poster Meta for 14x13 (end note to a multi-authored discussion with @paintmeahero @mittensmorgul @shirtlesssammy @justanotheridijiton )

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182843848469/paintmeahero-shirtlesssammy-mittensmorgul

37) Old Timey SPN: A Fresh (Queer) Look at 4x06 Yellow Fever

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182874642184/old-timey-spn-a-fresh-queer-look-at-4x06

38) 14x14 Ouroboros Promo: Procrustes Greek Myth Meta-Spec (part of a discussion with @mittensmorgul @postmodernmulticoloredcloak - Jungian meta adjacent)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182991822784/mittensmorgul-postmodernmulticoloredcloak 

39) The Man Who Would Be King - Edlund’s Literary Allusion and 6x20

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183118270999/the-man-who-would-be-king-edlunds-literary

40) 14x14 Promo Meta Spec (a discussion with @elizabethrobertajones and @hum-bee - started Destiel, became @hum-bee ‘s meta on Castiel’s depression, then mine on the separate, but related, queer subtext narratives for Dean and Cas this season) 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183246356449/dean-is-getting-better-at-communicating

41) The Kiss of the Queer Gorgon in 14x14 Ouroboros

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183323000224/the-kiss-of-the-queer-gorgon-in-14x14-ouroboros 

42) The Serpent and the Egg: Snake and Eye Symbology in 14x14 Ouroboros (sixth in a series of meta on the Jungian themes of S14)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183327000184/the-serpent-and-the-egg-snake-and-eye-symbology

43) Perseus, Jack and the Gorgon in 14x14

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183337497344/perseus-jack-and-the-gorgon-in-14x14

44) The Siren and the Gorgon 4x14 and 14x14

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183342830074/the-siren-and-the-gorgon-4x14-and-14x14

And with an addition:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183368457514/the-siren-and-the-gorgon-4x14-and-14x14

45) Noah Ophis 14x14 (Meanings and the name of the Gorgon)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183363993019/noah-ophis-14x14

And some further discussion with @justanotheridijiton and @mittensmorgul

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183370426434/noah-ophis-14x14 

46) Another Alchemical Easter Egg in 14x14 (seventh in a series of meta on the Jungian themes of S14)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183388134889/another-alchemical-easter-egg-in-14x14

Plus additions and discussion with @mittensmorgul  and @trickster-archangel :

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183876036674/another-alchemical-easter-egg-in-14x14

47) The Justin Smith/ Dean Smith Ouroboros (14x15 and 4x17)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183497401344/the-justin-smith-dean-sm)ith-ouroboros 

with additional discussion with @mittensmorgul @a-bit-of-influence @verobatto-angelxhunter and @magnificent-winged-beast :

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183520934439/the-justin-smith-dean-smith-ouroboros

48) Yellow Fever Redux in 14x15 Peace of Mind

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183498528974/yellow-fever-redux-in-peace-of-mind-14x15

and with additional discussion with @magnificent-winged-beast and @verobatto-angelxhunter

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183507216399/yellow-fever-redux-in-peace-of-mind-14x15

49) Oranges are not the Only Fruit (part of a multi-authored discussion with @postmodernmulticoloredcloak and @verobatto-angelxhunter )

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183505777909/verobatto-angelxhunter-drsilverfish 

50) Do Snakes Like Bacon? (Queer-Coding) (14x15)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183505636319/celestialdean-do-snakes-like-bacon-bacon-and 

51) The Satire in Charming Acres (14x15)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183526003969/the-satire-in-charming-acres-14x15-peace-of-mind 

52) The Book of Life in Donatello’s Kitchen (14x15) with thanks to @postmodernmulticoloredcloak for the heads up!

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183528415774/postmodernmulticoloredcloak-look-what-i-found-in

53) “AU” Past Episode References in 14x15 Peace of Mind (and the Theme of Fate vs Free Will)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183549410559/au-past-episode-references-in-14x15-peace-of

and with an addition thanks to @mittensmorgul

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183568337094/au-past-episode-references-in-14x15-peace-of 

54) A Call-Back to 4x01 in 14x15 (this is an addition to a meta by @poorreputation about Charming Acres as a Metaphor for Heaven)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183570660759/spn-14x15-peace-of-mind-heaven-and-charming

55) The Bird Represents God (14x15) (an addition/ discussion on bird poop to @verobatto-angelxhunter ‘s S14 meta-spec master-post)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183582551424/my-supernatural-season-14-specs-in-one 

56) Dean Made me Watch the Lost Boys Like 20 Times (14x16 Don’t Go in the Woods)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183635993619/dean-made-me-watch-the-lost-boys-like-20-times

57) The Ghostfacers in 14x16

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183638151784/the-ghostfacers-in-14x16

58) The Kohonta, The Wendigo and..... The Winchesters? Cannibalism in 14x16

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183640736269/the-kohonta-the-wendigo-and-the-winchesters 

59) More Musings on the Signifiance of Bird Poop in 14x16 with @elizabethrobertajones @mittensmorgul and @neven-ebrez

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183648898244/elizabethrobertajones-five-p-m

60) Lucifer Rides Again?.... Games Within Games in 14x17 Game Night

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183968888069/lucifer-rides-again-games-within-games

61) A Discussion on Alchemy and the Season’s End with @occamshipper

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183972692154/thoughts-for-absencemoriah

62) Sixteenth Century Burmese Blood Rubies (14x17)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183973554064/sixteenth-century-burmese-blood-rubies-14x17

63) Cindy’s Waffle House in 14x17

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183990322609/cindys-waffle-house-in-14x17

64) Nick’s Spell in 14x17 (A Bit of Body-Snatching Spec)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183991533929/nicks-spell-in-14x17-a-bit-of-body-snatching

65) Castiel and Food: A Discussion with @bluestar86 and @tinkdw (14x17)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183993473339/this-episode-again-reminding-us-that-angels-can

66) Is Anael in League with Satan?: A Discussion with @postmodernmulticoloredcloak  

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184019357044/postmodernmulticoloredcloak

67) The Scapegoat: Speculative Musings on S14′s End (Moriah) (Linked to the Season’s Jungian Themes - Scapegoating and the Unacknowledged Shadow)  (eighth in a series of meta on the Jungian themes of S14)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184045009309/the-scapegoat-speculative-musings-on-s14s-end

with an additional note:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184068368304/the-scapegoat-speculative-musings-on-s14s-end

68) You Can Still Be a Cookie-Baking, Cardigan-Wearing Big Softie Without a Soul (14x17 Game Night)

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184063447919/you-can-still-be-a-cookie-baking-cardigan-wearing

69) Dutch Camera Angles in 14x17 - A Discussion with @mittensmorgul

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184117004089/mittensmorgul-i-was-just-thinking-of-all-the

70) 14x18 Absence: The Games Continue? (14x18)

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184131452324/14x18-absence-the-games-continue 

with additional discussion with @shirtlesssammy

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184140015899/14x18-absence-the-games-continue

71) Re-Fridging Mary Winchester: The Ouroboros Narrative Swallows its Origin Story (14x18 Absence)

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184188830889/re-fridging-mary-winchester-the-ouroboros

72) Dean Would Never Tell Cas He Was Dead To Him (14x18 - end comment on dramatic irony on a post by @superduperdestiel33 )

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184158399039/dean-would-never-tell-cas-that-he-was-dead-to-him

73) Jack, Godstiel and Jesus Parallels - A 14x19 Promo Discussion with @trickster-archangel (Jungian meta adjacent)

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184165716364/trickster-archangel-i-was-watching-the-promo

74) A Spec Discussion on the Snake, Chicken and Egg Story (14x14) in Relation to Jack and 14x19 Jack in the Box and 14x20 Moriah with @neven-ebrez and @mittensmorgul

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184234111884/neven-ebrez-neven-ebrez-mittensmorgul

75) A Pillar of Salt in 14x19 Jack in the Box

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184302344489/a-pillar-of-salt-in-14x19-jack-in-the-box

and with addition discussion with @postmodernmulticoloredcloak

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184305778829/a-pillar-of-salt-in-14x19-jack-in-the-box

76) Hallucifer or Lucifer? (14x19 Jack in the Box)

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184303628429/hallucifer-or-lucifer-14x19

77) The Wraith at Mary’s Funeral (14x19) (end comment on a discussion with @mittensmorgul and @postmodernmulticoloredcloak )

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184305430244/hi-mittens-im-not-understanding-what-the-point 

78) “So, Who’s Ready to Take on The Book of Samuel?” (14x19  Jack in the Box)

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184308630909/so-whos-ready-to-take-on-the-book-of-samuel 

79) A Discussion on Dean and Cas and Chuck and Faith (14x19) with @norahastuff

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184325713124/norahastuff-drsilverfish-norahastuff-you

80) Mary is Watching Over You.... From a Mirror Universe? (14x20 Moriah)

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184458723054/mary-is-watching-over-you-from-a-mirror

81) Fate vs Free Will - “Welcome to the End” (14x20 Moriah)

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184462086934/fate-vs-free-will-welcome-to-the-end-14x20

with additional discussion with @emblue-sparks

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184465647879/fate-vs-free-will-welcome-to-the-end-14x20

82) More Bird-Poop Meta: A Discussion with @trickster-archangel

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184501155254/trickster-archangel-it-just-occurred-to-me

83) “MIrror Universe” Meanings (14x20)

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184491569414/mirror-universe-14x20

with additional discussion with @trickster-archangel and @occamshipper 

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184508555094/mirror-universe-14x20

84) Dean’s Jungian Shadow Arc in S14: Confronting the Internal Father (2x22 to 14x20 Moriah) (ninth in a series of meta on the Jungian themes of S14)

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184507150574/deans-jungian-shadow-arc-in-s14-confronting-the

85) Jack Kline Novak Winchester: Son, TFW Mirror, Trinity and Key; Quaternity, Ouroboros, Caduceus and Harbinger of The End (14x20) (tenth in a series of meta on the Jungian themes of S14)

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184542079054/jack-kline-novak-winchester-son-tfw-mirror

86) So Who Has Been Resurrecting Castiel? (Post 14x20 Musings)

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184558105759/so-who-has-been-resurrecting-castiel-post-14x20

and with added discussion with @mittensmorgul

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184570379724/so-who-has-been-resurrecting-castiel-post-14x20

87) Chuck and Reno (14x20 plus S15 Spec on Chuck and Amara - end comment on a discussion by @tarend and @hi-im-dazey

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184580452909/chuck-and-reno

POST-SCRIPT!!!

All My Meta on the Jungian Themes of S14 Collected Together in a 10 Part Series:

1) The Shadow 14x08 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/180906003584/the-shadow-14x08

2) 14x09 The Spear (Jungian Decoder Ring Edition) 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/181122764984/14x09-the-spear-jungian-decoder-ring-edition

3) Jung and Dean’s Journey Towards Self-Integration in 14x11 Damaged Goods 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182299438269/jung-and-deans-journey-towards-self-integration

4) Ouroboros in Prophet and Loss (14x12) 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182486474324/ouroboros-in-prophet-and-loss-14x12

5) A Pearl of Great Price - 14x13 Lebanon 

 http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182660472289/a-pearl-of-great-price-14x13-lebanon

6) The Serpent and the Egg: Snake and Eye Symbology in 14x14 Ouroboros 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183327000184/the-serpent-and-the-egg-snake-and-eye-symbology

7) Another Alchemical Easter Egg in 14x14 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/183388134889/another-alchemical-easter-egg-in-14x14 

8) The Scapegoat: Speculative Musings on S14′s End (Moriah) (Linked to the Season’s Jungian Themes - Scapegoating and the Unacknowledged Shadow) 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184045009309/the-scapegoat-speculative-musings-on-s14s-end

9) Dean’s Jungian Shadow Arc in S14: Confronting the Internal Father (2x22 to 14x20 Moriah)

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184507150574/deans-jungian-shadow-arc-in-s14-confronting-the

10) Jack Kline Novak Winchester: Son, TFW Mirror, Trinity and Key; Quaternity, Ouroboros, Caduceus and Harbinger of The End (14x20) 

https://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/184542079054/jack-kline-novak-winchester-son-tfw-mirror

[elizabethrobertajones]

aren't they devaluing team free will tho? jack just come and suddenly it's family and team free will 0.2, now this pushing of gabriel as part of it too, it's just a mock, so now anyone can be tfw even if they didn't anything to earn it, team free will don't exist anymore it's just a joke

I’m sorry this is rubbing you the wrong way. The way I have always seen it is that Dean calls them “Team Free Will” in 5x13 extremely bitterly and miserably. The sense that they aren’t going to win, and they aren’t enough to defeat Michael, at the beginning of his downward spiral where he will be beaten up enough to attempt to say yes to being his vessel. The term then wasn’t used again for 7 years, and even though it got a great fanon following used UNIRONICALLY, and NOT how Dean originally used it, to celebrate the fact that they HAD won and defeated Michael, the symbolism within the show vs the way fanon took it was always a bit wonky.

The actual composition of Team Free Will as a victorious unit can and should stretch to cover Bobby, who was there helping at the true victory at Stull, and Crowley who did his part and was one of their most useful allies in the last few episodes of the season; once he was on their side they ticked off the last few rings very quickly. 

And Gabriel’s speech in 5x19, no matter how he may have been faking it so as not to actually die, but just to shake Lucifer up, was earnestly on the side of the underdog once he FINALLY made his stand, and that stand was in line with the principles of Team Free Will, and he himself over his 2 episodes in season 5 learned to stop just trying to make the script play out - a very similar nihilism about it as Raphael had - and to stand up for humanity. Like it or not, he is one of the only other characters that season to firmly end up on the side of “free will” over picking either Michael or Lucifer. And that was awesome before he came back and I thought he was a brilliant character. 

Being what I consider a mostly to somewhat old school apocalypse era spn fan (that is, I was watching in total isolation from the start so my dates don’t line up to fandom or American viewing until season 7 onwards, but at least I was up to date on the show by season 6 :P) I had a brief moment of bleeh about his return, and then 13x20 and 13x20 won me over, so, fuck it, I’m a current, up to date Gabriel fan now :P We can look back on it that whether he would have been more useful helping them at their side or not, he was still the catalyst for them even having an idea of what they were meant to do, so that Crowley could start helping them, so that Cas, Bobby, Sam and Dean, the core of the real happy positive version of Team Free Will as a family, could defeat Michael and Lucifer. At this point I am firmly in camp “it’s season 13, whatever, they can do what the fuck they want as long as it’s enjoyable and makes some sense” when it comes to Gabriel. 

But, yeah. In season 12 they began foreshadowing the return of Michael to the narrative, and one of those things was having Dean say “Team Free Will” to Cas as the way to express what Cas with all his history as Dean’s friend/brother/husband meant to him and all they’d been through, and the easiest way for Dean to come up with a term that covers the name of his real core family that is the Sam Cas Bobby Dean family. With Bobby dead, it’s just the 3 of them, but that’s still a hugely important distinction to make, that there’s a version of the family where Cas is core, on the same level as Sam is to Dean.

(Which, if you read my watching notes for 13x21, is like how Rowena makes a metacommentary comment about the BM scene Sam, Dean and Cas are having together in the other room while she and Gabriel hook up, because it uses all the terminology we and the show uses to refer to the SalmonDean BM scenes to cover what TFW are doing, which is a wonderful way to indicate that the BM scene is no longer a Sam and Dean exclusive trope, and you KNOW Cas has been joining in on them since ever, but now it’s making it clear that when there’s a TFW BM scene in ANY configuration of Sam and Dean, Dean and Cas, Cas and Sam, that is an official trademarked Supernatural Brotherly Moment Scene, and the ™ doesn’t belong to ONLY Sam and Dean any more.)

And… I don’t know, it depends on where you are about Jack in a meta way, but on a character level way, Jack was hugely meaningful to Cas even before he was born, and once he was born, as ridiculous as you might find the concept of a satan babby plot, on the character level, and on the emotional level, Jack means a LOT to Cas, and the first episode is all about how Jack identifies Cas as his father, rather than Lucifer, and 21 episodes into the season now, it’s clear that Jack has a lot of good in his nougat centre, and his love for TFW is obvious not just for Cas, but that he reacts like that to Sam’s death, and that he has latched onto Mary, too. A blood relative and core of the family, first character to appear on screen in the entire show, now she is back, whatever you feel, again, on any meta level about her return, portrayal, or usage by the writers, she’s of critical emotional importance to Sam and Dean, because she’s MARY, emotional backbone of the show whether you like it or not. And she loves her boys, came to love Cas over season 12, and now she and Jack have bonded to the point of getting Jesus and Mother Mary inverse symbolism to show that she means as much to Jack as Mother Mary as she did to the boys (and the text thank GOD finally called out “Mother Mary” as a concept in 12x12). So if she’s around, she too will be at the core of the family.

Sam’s choice of dinner table family is his brother, his other brother/brother in law, the son he and his brothers have adopted and considers all of them his father, his own mother, and she of course has her own emotional link to Jack that Sam didn’t even know about for sure at that point, but despite being a missing link to him, is one we can fill in, and he could at least have hoped that knowing they were together and fighting together from Charlie’s report, would give him hope (rightly) that this is a true, loving set up his family could have one day. 

Gabriel was NOT at his dinner table, and he blurs a line between “powerful allies” as the recap says, lumped in with Rowena, who fills a spot Crowley ended up having in their list of allies, who is treacherous and you may still want to kill her like, yesterday, but then the next day you might want to fight and die alongside her, and hope she does the same. Gabriel from 5x19 was in that exact same dubious spot. But as Sam points out, he’s uncle to Jack and that’s a blood tie which the show might not value as much as found family, but it sure is a good reason to START to care and form bonds. Technically Jack isn’t “blood” family to Mary, but then if in a normal muggle family, if your son in law adopted a boy you would still consider him fast, good-as-blood family if you LIKED him and were in Mary’s position. Same as Gabriel discovering he’s an uncle. He has the chance to get in on this family in the weird sense that they’ve all bonded so much to the point of close family, that he’s now Dean and Sam’s brother’s brother, uncle to their son, etc etc. He might be more estranged, and in 13x20 they certainly - Dean especially - pushed him hard to explain himself and learn if they cared or not. But Gabriel passed the test and by the time they’re in the AU Dean would at least trust him to fight alongside them and really earn brother in arms at last, wary family member at least by ties, if not by full undying trust.

Like, none of what’s going on there is weird on a character, emotional level in the sense that they’re at least giving Gabriel a chance to come with them. 

I don’t think anyone said “Team Free Will” re: Gabriel so again we’re stretching a fanon term onto him, in the sense that until someone says it for sure, the only new addition to TFW since season 5 is Jack, and that is because Dean’s using TFW as a family term to cover himself, Sam and Cas, and now Jack is TFW by inheritance, as Cas’s son, like, to lack any other surname, this is what you’d put on their driving license if you don’t want to stretch Winchester onto them. I know a lot of fanon since ever has put Gabriel in TFW to balance Sam having an angel in Sabriel dynamics, or just because they like him and he did die for them in 5x19 etc etc as I covered, so if he were alive again people instantly want him to join. I think 13x20 made it clear Dean’s still somewhat holding Gabriel at an arms length before declaring him found family, but he’s at least through several thresholds already, I think TFW is still a closed door to him in terms of how the show has used its language to define him. The closest tie they’ve offered him so far in season 13 is his protestation he helped them in 5x19, and Sam saying they all need Gabriel in 13x18, and reminding him that he’s Jack’s uncle, which is still a large step removed from putting him in the core family unit. 

I think next episode, which is Buckleming, will either wreck this or shake things up or make some more of these connections anvil heavy clear, but at least before they get their grubby mitts on writing at least 11 main named characters all in the same location all at once (I just counted on my fingers, not a randomly chosen number. Ouch.) while trying to deal with the Jack and Lucifer dynamic and everything else they’ve piled up into one spot, this is how I see it all standing, and the dynamics and connections that they’ve built up.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have an ensemble cast, and I do think the term TFW has always been more flexible than the original use, in fanon terms, and in terms of if you were ever going to use it positively, it would cover any and all major characters involved in a fight for free will. Which means 10 of those 11 characters may end up in TFW if Buckleming really go wild with it and let like, Lucifer and Ketch and Charlie and AUBobby and so on into it along with Gabriel, Mary and Jack, for the sake of fighting Michael. Which at that point come back to me with the same complaint and I’d probably agree more but specifically about Buckleming being awful :P At the moment I think it’s well-balanced and the characterisation and levels of invested emotion in each dynamic make good sense, and therefore I’m not particularly worried about the emotional integrity of the phrase Team Free Will… At least for 4 more days :D

[shallowseeker]

Rowena & Crowley back the wrong horse, over and over and over...

Everyone remembers Rowena's tragic clinging to Lucifer in season 11, and how it ended up for her. Upon learning she's the only one that can put him back in the cage, Lucifer pragmatically snaps her neck--a form of cold, indifferent insurance:

Ah, the tragedy of Rowena's desire to have security. Rowena wanted to be loved and protected by Fergus's father. She wanted to be appreciated and protected by Lucifer.

Crowley remarks that she's always looking for the biggest, baddest beast in the room to hide behind.

///

In 11x23 Alpha and Omega, we see Rowena cozying up to her newest target, Chuck:

ROWENA: [Crowley mocks her as she speaks] Charles, I'll put the kettle on. My mom always said, there's nothing a nice wee cup of tea can't fix.

...

CROWLEY: It's what she does. Find someone with power...cozies up...digs the claws in. [As he’s talking, Crowley walks over to a cabinet, opens a door and takes out a bottle of Craig] CHUCK: Hmm. Yeah, well, I'm not helping anyone right now, obviously. She's been...nice. CROWLEY: For now.

Funny sidenote: As Rowena moves in on Chuck, getting sweet on him, she starts calling him "Charles," a little nugget for how she'll later call Sam "Samuel," and Cas, "Hello, Castiel."

///

Ahem. Anyway. The thing is, that yes, Rowena totally does this. We can't really blame her when we look at the tragic happenstances of her life. During the course of the series, we see her make numerous moves to gain favor will powerful beings:

SEASON 10

We see her volleying to make Crowley sit upon a stronger, more secure throne.

SEASON 11

We see her cozying up to Lucifer and getting killed for her trouble.

Next, we see her coming back from the dead to move in on Amara.

She's kind of playing both sides, but she gets sweet on Amara here: "Oh, I can be useful...And even if it is born out of my own self-interest, I-- I care about you. I'm someone you can talk with. Confide in. Have you... have you ever had that? Oh, you don't have to be (alone), darlin'!" 

Then, as I mentioned above, she cozies up to Chuck, and Crowley snarls many a nasty word about her.

SEASON 12

We find Rowena trying to date rich men and lying about her background, painting herself as a posh, well-to-do ballerina.

In an abrupt about-face to insulting Cas (she called him a fish in season 10), we see that Rowena has flipped on her appraisal of him.

Now, Castiel is super hot. He's "the handsome, strong angel," an ideal partner/protector. So, she hits on him. A lot.

Despite her memory of "Cas's face" as Lucifer snapped her neck, her dogged attraction to Cas blooms sometime in season 12.

Perhaps, it's when she and Cas and Fergus are hunting Lucifer together.

(In the same time frame, Crowley is also hanging off Cas's arm, keeping him company, trying to be oddly "cutesy," singing in the car, etc. It's...hilarious. You get the mental picture of them both trying their hardest to get his attention.)

SEASON 13

Season 13 brings us her library tryst with Gabriel.

She says she's motivated by trying to heal his wounded virility/grace/pride, but it's at least partially about his status as an archangel.

And of course, there's security in Sam(uel), but it's all twisted up with him being her executioner, not just her protector.

But in being her "destiny," he also functions as her security. It's very complex. (And kinda sexy.)

SEASON 14

Rowena will hit on Cas as later as season 14's Ouroboros, saying his full name in a similar coo to how she says, "Charles and Samuel." -> "Hello, Castiel."

Castiel, for his part, tends to be a little flustered by her, straightening up and saying, "Hello," back.

SEASON 15

Finally, in season 15, somewhat hilariously, Rowena moves in on Arthur Ketch.

But it's a little different this time, reflecting a more confident, in-control, and emotionally integrated Rowena.

She seems to be genuinely interested in him for his wry, science-loving personality. They banter.

She and Ketch mutually harass Dean for details about the other, like schoolyard crushes.

They had a battle connection in the past, have fought together and helped one another re: resurrection spells, but it is only now that they’re healthy and healed that they can actually see each other.

Rowena throws Dean a breathless, thankful look when he saves Ketch (for her).

She’s reformed, Ketch is reformed. It’s heartbreaking just how excited she is about him. He instills a her hope in her, for the future. (But he won’t sell out his friends. He dies. She won’t let the world die, so she dies, too.)

///

But Crowley does the same friggin' thing, doesn't he? He is so her child, a tragic mini-Rowena, despite his efforts to look like a big, bad Hell-king. 💔

SEASON 5

When we meet him, we see him backing the Winchesters re:the Colt.

In his early appearance, he does this because he thinks Lucifer is going to wipe out demon-kind.

That gamble goes okay for Crowley, mostly.

SEASON 6

Sometime in this timeframe, he is given the role of Hell-king as a consolation prize, by Ramiel, prince of Hell, who honestly doesn't give a fuck.

In season 6, Crowley backs Castiel. Cas's got magnetism and sex appeal.

As the original "angel's angel" in Heaven, he's a strong frontrunner in Heaven's Civil War simply by popularity alone. So, Cas is the horse Crowley decides to bet on.

Then, Cas turns out to be duplicitous, cunning, and too devoted to his human family to be controlled. He’s way more than Crowley can handle.

There are glimmers of this power imbalance, when Cas on occasion has had enough of Crowley's innuendo-laden threats, like when Cas snaps and crushes him into a wall, for example. But on the whole, Crowley ignores this. It's his tragic hubris.

Eventually, Cas overwhelms him and seizes power, and the whole thing turns out to be a frightening blow to his position.

So, Crowley goes running to his brother Raphael, which is another bad gamble, as Castiel straight-up kills him, and Crowley is forced to flee and go into hiding.

SEASON 7-8

In seasons 7-8, Crowley vies for control of the prophet Kevin, torturing and killing those around him.

He makes sure to kill Meg, who is in his mind a Lucifer loyalist (she's actually a Castiel loyalist at this point, but the Lucifer label sticks).

SEASON 9

In season 9, Crowley arranges a series of events to allow him to dangle Dean to Cain in a bid to transform Dean and destroy Abbadon, the newest threat to his position.

(Crowley won't suggest taking the mark on his own; he won't risk his own neck.) Afterwards, he scoops Dean up, like spoils of war, a dark parallel to the pimp-demon in Girls, Girls, Girls (and Randy).

SEASON 10

In season 10, this bites him in the ass, too.

Demon Dean proves too much to handle, a liability on the job, as he refuses to perform the cold, capitalistic mercenary duties of Hell.

"The little prat’s bad for business. He’s uncontrollable. Must be the Mark."

In a scene similar to Cas crunching Crowley into a wall, Dean throws Crowley down. Demon Dean will not be cowed by Crowley, and he will not be a sidekick, little bitch, or Queen to be "controlled."

So, Crowley goes running to his brother, Sam. He “sells him out" to Sam.

And Crowley goes running to revive Castiel again, to deal with the problem-that-solved-his-original-Abbadon-problem.

And around and around Crowley goes.

Despite everything, Crowley softens to Dean. Crowley's a little bit human now, and it shows. As he softens, his mother appears, making things so much more complicated.

SEASON 11

Crowley tries to muster up the glory of his former evil self--he kills a bunch of swingers for no reason.

Then, Crowley sees a new opportunity to sway a powerful being, and we get Crowley unsuccessfully trying to mold Amara as his newest weapon of mass destruction.

Like with Demon Dean, he strikes fast to scoop her up when she's “vulnerable” and "new,” to get her under his sphere of influence.

Then, it goes badly, as this always does for Crowley. Amara breaks Uncle Crowley's arm and runs away.

In this season, Crowley goes to bat for Cas again, trying to detach him from Lucifer and screeching angrily at Cas as Lucifer beats Crowley up.

In fact, in that brief moment before Crowley even goes to bat, he's actually smiling at Dean and Cas as they reunite, as Dean says, “Cas, we don't have a whole lot of time, okay?"

Crowley is a softie. Cas is his kinda-friend, and Crowley wants Dean to be happy. Crowley's changed.

At the end of the season, we briefly see Crowley complaining about Rowena cozying up to Chuck, while he moves to cozy up to Billie. (Really, Crowley? Stop doing the thing that gets you burned, man.)

SEASON 12

Enter season 12, and Crowley works with his mom again. He and Rowena form an uneasy alliance, and both begin to see family in a slightly new light.

They trust each other a little more, and they hurt each other to try and solve their mutual pain re: Oskar and Gavin.

Hilariously, they both start seeing Castiel in a new light this season. It's like, in watching his devotion and chivalry to his family, and as their understanding of family shifts, they've mutually decided that he's dependable and thus desireable. (The "blue-collar, family-oriented soldier.")

So yeah, season 12 finds Crowley cozying up to Castiel again in order to fight Lucfier--with Crowley being overly friendly and flirty and sing-song to the point that Cas just might bash his own head in.

(In this same timeframe, Rowena warms to Cas, so you have this implication that they're both hanging off his arms adoringly, and he is tired as fuck of dealing with them. I'm sure Cas's tendency to get a little flustered and sweet with Rowena is something that would drive Crowley insane on multiple levels.)

Crowley even risks his life for Cas against Vince!Lucifer. (He wants Cas to be his friend so badly in this era, oof.)

Then, he saves Cas against Ramiel, thanks in large part to his bond with Dean, and Dean thanks him for it.

Crowley, like Rowena, will take any form love. Any friendship. Any comradery. Even scraps. They've got the same neurosis.

Anyway, in season 12 we also have the team-up of the century, where Crowley works with his mother to send Lucifer back to the cage. Victory!

And Crowley has another fatal misstep. His last one ever, perhaps. He thinks, yet again, that he can outsmart another overpowered beast in order to buy his own security.

And so, he locks Lucifer in Nick's body, Ma'lak box-like, and tries to out-bark and out-dominate him.

Horribly, Lucifer doesn't even appear that upset. Horribly, even when he's being humiliated, the demons under Crowley flock to Lucifer. (It's not fair!)

Lucifer even seems quietly amused, like he's waiting for his moment to strike, just as Cas behaved in season 6, quietly tolerating Crowley's goading because he was not actually threatened by him.

(Crowley is no Azazel or Dagon or Ramiel or even Asmodeus.)

And it's fatal. It goes badly. Crowley's gleeful crowing of brains-versus-brawn blows up in his face.

He escapes by the skin of his teeth, and goes running, tail tucked, to tell the Winchesters what he's wrought.

Sam and Dean are horrified, realizing that Jack, Kelly, and Cas are in danger, and so they speed towards them in hopes of warning them in time.

Crowley seems a little hysterical and fatalistic, deciding to back the Winchesters one last time, because, "life is meaningless," and "what's the point of it all."

Crowley lost everything for a job he hated, so he commits suicide, because he's tired and worn down.

He has become like Raphael, "we just want it to be over."

Crowley falls to nihilism.

And Rowena despairs. 💔💔💔

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