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starseneyes · 2 years

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Spock / Nurse Christine Chapel - Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S1

Your resident shipper of ships here with yet another edition of Meta analysis. I’ll begin by saying I understand the canon of these characters (from what we’ve seen), so I have a fairly good sense of what is and is not possible for the future. That said, I’m enjoying the ride and I’m curious what our fearless leaders will do with what I consider is some considerable wiggle room in the saga.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself.

I know there are many ship combinations out there, and I respect them all! I mean no disrespect to any ship in the Star Trek universe. I only wish to highlight and discuss one that has surprisingly become one of my favorites throughout this season.

This is a Meta. I will spoil the entire season of Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. Turn back now if you wish to remain un-spoiled! Otherwise, welcome to the ramblings of the girl with stars in her eyes. This one’s going to be fun!

“I’m gonna mess with your genome. You first.”

Their first interaction. Nurse Christine Chapel is a civilian on-loan with a heckuva lot of intel and attitude. She has grit and guts, but she also has a wild side.

I love the way she looks to Spock, immediately zeroing in on him as the one to flirt with. My guess is that since she’s mentioned previous friendships with Vulcans, it’s one of those things she likes to do—flirt with the Vulcan to see if she gets a reaction. Kind of like those people who take photos with the Queen’s Guard in London eager to get them to twitch.

Spock notes the extra attention and looks to Pike, who offers a “it is what it is” smirk. Nobody’s going to rescue him from this.

From everything we learn of Christine in season one, she struggled with commitment, romantic relationships, and opening herself up. She uses humor and intelligence as defenses. Flirting with an emotionally unavailable (see what I did there?) Vulcan is insignificant to her at this point. It’s just a flirt. No harm, no foul, right?

“You ready for this?” “I am more than capable of managing any pain you can induce.”

A casual exchange with a factual response from Mr. Spock. But Christine Chapel can’t resist the opportunity to needle him a little.

“Mr. Spock! Now you’re just toying with me.”

Watch Uhura’s reaction. After just the “Mr. Spock” she’s already clued into the massive flirting going on right in front of her. It’s blatant! It’s in the open!

Again, for Christine this is no big deal. This is harmless flirting and it’s never going anywhere. I spent years in the theater, and this reminds me of a lot of us who might have flirted with one another at various times but had zero interest in hooking up or a committed relationship. It was just fun to flirt! Christine strikes me as one of us, at her core—battered, broken, but still finding the fun.

Of course, the implications of a little rough sex might have flown over Spock’s head, but the raised eyebrow suggests to me that it did not.

“That was not my intention.” “I’ve noticed.”

Uhura is still looking back at them like, “What the hell did I just witness?” and I love it. It’s like when you bring someone from outside the theater world backstage where half the cast’s naked, one guy’s randomly dry-humping friends for fun, and the rest are performing choreographed musical numbers from another show in the hallway. It’s mayhem and from the outside looks like madness.

But to us, it’s just a bit of fun. Same for Christine here... it’s just a bit of fun.

After episode 2, these two don’t see each other again until episode 5.

“Um, sorry, I really need to go and check on my friend. I’ll call you later, okay?”

Ortegas had offered to be there as a backup with Lt. Devers, but Christine thought she was in the clear. To her great horror, Devers doesn’t want to hook up in the back, but wants to get his hooks into her and bring her over to his ship. The overwhelm strikes her and she’s desperate for an out.

This isn’t about her seeking another guy to get away from one guy. This is looking for an out—any out—to get out of a bad situation. Because, from her point of view, it can’t get much worse than this.

Spock is her excuse. And I think the ONLY reason Devers doesn’t abandon the bar right then and there is that he sees Christine’s headed over to talk to a Vulcan, and few red-blooded (red-shirted) men would be concerned about their human girl having any real sparks with an emotionless green-blooded Vulcan.

I say few, because I’m sure there are some men out there who might think something could happen. But, from what I gauge of Devers, he is not that man.

“But you’re also an idiot.” “I feel I should have seen that coming. Please, elucidate.”

Clearly, they’ve been talking a bit, and he genuinely seeks insight. Though he has only had a few interactions with Christine at this point, he’s known her to be truthful (”This is going to be painful”), thorough, direct, and consistent. Her calling him out in this manner only emphasizes what he already believes to be true about her.

Vulcans, by their very nature, tend to be honest. We’ve heard many times in this series how Vulcans cannot lie in the way that humans do. Christine is a human who has the option to lie, in Spock’s eyes, but in this moment she’s chosen to be truthful about her assessment. That is why I believe he asks for more.

“You’re supposed to put her ahead of your duties. That’s what being in a relationship is. It’s mutual sacrifice. Pretty much why I avoid them.”

Christine is a strong, independent woman who wants to continue her current quality of life. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! But she knows that being tied down to someone would get in the way of her getting to lead that life. She’s consciously choosing not to engage in a dedicated, committed relationship.

Spock, on the other hand, is very much engaged. And Christine genuinely wants to help him see the other side in this. She’s coming at it as a friend, especially considering her friend-with-benefits is still pining for her at the bar over her shoulder.

Then, Spock drops the bombshell—he’s worried T’Pring thinks he’s too human.

“Okay.”

I love this little moment. She doesn’t offer judgment. She doesn’t try to discount it. She says “Okay” and nods to him, a nonverbal cue asking him to continue. She’s making space for him to say his piece, and I think that’s a very important part of how Christine sees friendship—it’s a give and take.

Then, he starts to open up, to share about the isolation he felt as a child living on Vulcan. Christine leans forward, her body weight shifting as she relates to their shared experiences of bullying. It’s the first real thing between them, the first connection point.

“Teenage Spock had a pretty lousy time of it, huh?” “I was bonded to my pet shlat I-Chaya.” “I had a malamute named Milo who may or may not have bitten this girl who called me stupid. Sharp teeth.”

And with that, this conversation has completely shifted. Instead of Christine coming in as a sounding board for Spock, she’s now engaging with him. They’re trading stories. They’re connecting. They’re bonding over very real aspects of their lives, and they don’t even realize it.

“I hope the girl did not repeat the mistake again.”

There’s the hint of a smile in his face as he says it. It’s the closest she’s seen to his human side coming out, and she catches herself smiling back at him. Oh, no. In her mind, he’s becoming a friend. Yes, she likes to flirt with him, but that’s completely one-sided and not at all indicative of anything real.

But that moment between them is the first real moment of connection. It was honest. It came out of nowhere. But it happened.

And Christine wants none of that.

So, she shifts the conversation back to T’Pring and away from the two of them. Helping Spock with his relationship helps put that wedge between him and Christine back in place. It’s a defense mechanism.

“What are friends for?”

Again, she’s putting that line of friendship out hard to remind herself that it exists. That’s all they can be, just friends.

“What are friends for...” “That was a rhetorical, Spock.” “Oh, I know. Humans are almost as easy to tease as Vulcans.”

And there’s that hint of a smile, again. He played a trick on her. Yes, a small one, but enough to get an honest smile out of her. She ducks her head, looking away, but, darnit, that was cute and she can’t deny it.

“Is that Spock’s girlfriend? Hard to tell, but does she look pissed?”

Spock (in T’Pring’s body) is sprinting to Christine for help. Christine thinks she’s looking at the real T’Pring, the fiancée of her friend, and she is nervous. She really meant all of her advice to Spock in good faith, but you never know how it’s going to turn out, or how a woman might feel about their man talking to another woman about their issues.

SIDE NOTE: And can we talk about this location? The two seats encircling toward one another, separated, but identical in shape and form. Can there be a more perfect metaphor for where Spock and Chapel are in this series?

They are very alike, in some ways, and while each of them feels a pull toward the other, like the chairs that do not touch, they can never truly be joined. Whoever was the set designer or location team is breaking my heart today. It’s perfect.

“You clearly have a relationship opportunity.”

Leave it to Christine to find the silver lining in this mess. T’Pring is trying to save his career, so she encourages him to help T’Pring out. It’s the mutual sacrifice she was talking about, but now he gets to live it.

“It is well known that you are betrothed to the son of Sarek... you defend Vulcan ideals with one hand, insult them with the other.” “Hey.”

Both Spock and Christine are getting a little upset here. Poor Spock has had to endure this BS his whole life. Now he’s seeing that it can impact T’Pring, too. From Christine’s point of view, she just learned this week how much people like this hurt her friend, and she doesn’t want to let it happen, again.

“You know what? I work with Spock. He’s twice the Vulcan you are.”

Spock (as T’Pring) tries not to react, but you can tell he appreciates her stepping in to defend him. I doubt many did when he was a child.

“Humans evolved from apes, did they not? You’ve kept many of their charming qualities, it would seem.” “I would caution you to stop insulting my companion.”

And now it’s Spock’s turn. By comparing Christine to an ape, this man is essentially trying to diminish her, much like the girl who called her “stupid” as a child.

“To tell you the truth, I came here today with every intention of considering rehabilitation, but the company you keep changed my mind.”

That’s it. Spock’s had enough.

Because Christine is more than his shipmate. She is a friend. She is a companion. She is someone who has accepted him, listened to him, helped him, and defended him... all without ever offering judgment on his validity as a being worthy of existence.

And this sh*thead just went too far.

The human side of Spock that feels kinship and appreciation for Christine asserts itself in the form of a right hook that sends Vulcan pea-brain sprawling.

Christine was ready to defend herself, but her friend stepped in.

Think about that. The girl whose malamute was her only defense against bullies has a friend who stepped up to defend her. He came through for her. That’s no small thing for Christine.

“Perhaps we should keep the details of how exactly we captured Barjan between us. My response was a tad too human.” “I’d say just the right amount.”

The look Christine gives him is so... nuanced. There’s gratitude. There’s admiration. There’s appreciation. And, again, she’s not condemning a single part of him. She’s accepting him just as he is. And he’s not used to that.

“Nurse Chapel.” “You know you can call me Christine.” “Christine.”

Hearing him say her name has an unexpected impact. She was content to continue working when he called her Nurse Chapel, but her first name on his lips draws her eyes to his. There’s a weight to it that hits unexpectedly.

“I want to thank you again for your help.” “Hey, no big deal.”

She puts distance between them physically, attempting to disengage from the impact.

“Perhaps not. But for me the deal was very big, very big indeed.”

The whole experience has bonded them even more than that conversation. He came to her in confidence, and she kept his confidence. She helped him do T’Pring’s job. She defended him. She was there for him.

And she’s trying to help him be honest with himself. That’s always been tricky for him, especially with being raised on Vulcan around Vulcans. But Christine’s words get through to him, and he is honest with himself and with T’Pring.

Christine is having an impact on him. At this point, it’s only friendship, but it’s a growing friendship. She has proven herself reliable, and he’s done the same for her. They are going to help one another, defend one another, protect one another. There are no doubts on that front. And having that foundation is a beautiful thing.

But, as is the case with these two, it can also be a little dangerous.

“Be honest” “It would have to be the right guy... I, uh... No.”

She can’t say it. Because our homegirl is starting to get a crush and she knows it. That dinner together was the start of something, but she thought she nipped it in the bud. At the end of the episode when she and Spock were talking in Sickbay... there was a new layer to everything.

The tone completely shifted from the two of them talking at a table in a busy restaurant/bar... to nobody else being in the room. No other sounds. No distractions. Just two people sharing a quiet moment of honesty.

And Christine values honesty almost as much as Spock. He showed appreciation for her, gratitude, and genuine caring. It flustered her, though she wishes it didn’t.

And that’s why she can’t say a word to Ortegas about it. Putting it out there in the world as a spoken thought would give it too much powers... and Christine still wants to stamp this out before it goes outside her comfort zone.

“Earth to Spock!” “I am sorry. I am distracted.”

It’s another few episodes before the pair share a significant moment. I find it fascinating (excuse the word choice, but that’s the one that popped out) that we transition from our virtual chat between T’Pring and Spock to an in-person one with Christine.

On a stroll to meet Dr. Aspen, Christine notes Spock’s complete lack of focus. From his very first reaction, she can tell that something is off. I love that she knows him so well that she can tell when he’s completely in his head.

“I need... a friend.” “Ah, spill it.”

Christine seems to be ducking out of the latest T’Pring/Spock drama, but when he pulls out the “friend” card, she gives in. This is fully within the limits that she has set, and she really does want to help.

“T’Pring has been researching human sexuality. She has been quite thorough.” “That doesn’t sound so bad.” “One would imagine.” “But...”

I love that “But”. From her perspective, sexuality is not a bad thing! It’s not a bad thing to research and be aware of at all. But, she can sense that “but” coming, and she wants to give him space to say what he needs to say.

It reminds me of the “Okay” and nod from the dinner conversation in Spock Amuck. She recognizes he has more to say, even if he’s still formulating in his mind how to say it. It’s a way of not rushing him to the point, while acknowledging she knows there’s one coming.

“She appears more eager to explore my humanity than I am.” “Spock, are you telling me your girlfriend is moving too fast for you?” “Reconciling my divergent cultures of origin is complex. The journey is challenging.”

This friendship is deep. He’s opening up about some scary stuff. But he also has the experiences of Spock Amuck to inform him. He’s told her before about the bullying, and she got to see some of the disdain first-hand. She defended him, even. So, he knows that he can talk to her about this without judgment.

“Spock, do you know why it’s fun to be friends with Vulcans? Because Vulcans are honest. Don’t try to be smarter than the truth. That’s what got you in trouble last time.”

I love this. If you recall, T’Pring is trying really hard to be accepting of Spock’s Human side, and each time Christine has reminded him to try addressing T’Pring as a Vulcan. That’s what she’s saying here... not that he has to be a Vulcan to be honest, but that Vulcans are intrinsically honest beings. Leaning into that will help him with T’Pring.

And he knows Christine is right.

“Also, pro tip, pay better attention to me when I’m talking... because?” “You are very charming and I am completely missing it?” “Progress. You’re learning.”

I love this return to flirting. After the weirdness at the end of Spock Amuck, Christine truly believes she’s regained her friendship footing with Spock. He’s clearly parroting back something she once spoke to him (or many times, for all we know), and she’s flashing a flirtatious smile his way in response.

Box achieved. From both their points of view, the rhythm is back and nothing’s going to shake it.

You see where this is going, right? Of course you do. You understand just when a character gets comfortable, it’s time to shake them up somehow.

“I lost the man I love, even if it was to a Vulcan prison, not pirates.” “You stole a Federation ship, and are blackmailing Vulcans for love?”

I love the absolute disdain in Christine’s voice. to her, this is a lot further than she’s ever considered going for love. Then again, Christine bolts before love has a chance to take hold.

“I apologize in advance for any liberties I take. Please follow my lead. “Okay.”

This is that trust I was mentioning before. Christine has no idea what’s in his head, but she’s going along with it.

“I have been giving in to my human side. More so than I wish to admit. I cannot deny the emotions within me any longer. Nurse Chapel and I-”

Christine gets it. She doesn’t get why he’s doing it, but she already told him she was going to follow his lead, so she’s following. She can tell he’s faltering and steps in to help.

Side Note: WHY is he faltering NOW and not earlier in the declaration? Why was he able to get through the rest of that without struggle? I believe because a small part of him knows it’s true. A small part of him is aware of the growing connection between himself and Nurse Chapel. He never would have otherwise admitted it, but it serves the needs of the moment.

“He’s trying to tell you that we’re having an affair.”

The framing is gorgeous. Christine steps alongside Spock, and you can see a confused T’Pring in the center, watching them. There’s the distance of her watching through a screen while Spock and Christine stand nearly shoulder-to-shoulder.

“We’re in love. I’m sorry.”

Angel isn’t buying it. Not for a second.

“No, I...”

Nope. Words aren’t coming. Why aren’t they coming? We can argue that his Vulcan nature is stepping over his human nature, making it difficult to lie. But, rather, I think he doesn’t know how he really feels to even make a declaration, and that’s tripping him up.

That’s why he resorts to physical affection—to showing T’Pring something that might sway her.

Spock awkwardly brings Christine to face him, then leans in to kiss her, thin-lipped. Her hand instinctively rises to his neck, but her eyes remain open. Gotta stay disassociated, Christine. Don’t feel. Don’t feel.

But she feels.

Her eyes close as the kiss deepens. Her right hand shifts from his side to his back, and as it does, everything in Spock shifts.

He can feel her. He can feel her desire for him, and that sends off a cascade of feelings within him. His hands glide over her back, his right hand plunging lower as he shifts from thin lips to open-mouth.

He shifts sides, lips parted, tongue touching hers as she leans up on her toes, hand grabbing tighter around his neck as her brow furrows.

They pull apart slowly, lips parted.

That’s important. At least, it is to me. They entered into this kiss completely thin-lipped, two friends embarking on a mission to deceive. Instead, they exit it more open to one another than they’d anticipated, and the ones they’re deceiving now are each other and themselves...

Their eyes flicker open, and Christine’s come to rest on his lips, processing what just happened. That wasn’t some thin-lipped peck.

There was Spock tongue. Repeat, there was Spock tongue!

Her eyes travel up to meet his, wide and terrified. That felt right. Why did it feel right? It wasn’t supposed to feel right! All the boxes and zones she had in place for Spock are shattered... and she knows it.

Spock’s response is more muted, of course, but it’s there. The way his eyes flicker away and then back, again. He knows that something in him has shifted toward her... something he couldn’t have anticipated.

Spock turns back to the monitor as Christine’s hands awkwardly fall away from his chest. She and Spock can’t look at one another. Her job done, she goes back to her post over his left shoulder while Spock and T’Pring decouple.

“I think there’s more to life than logic... and so, I suspect, do you.”

Watch Angel in that little pause, how their eyes trail to Christine, then back to Spock. I really do worry that’s going to come back to bite them at some point. Much as Angel was able to call Spock’s plan, it’s impossible to watch that kiss and think there was nothing behind it (unless, of course, you’re T’Pring).

“I apologize for the... incident between Nurse Chapel and I.” “Why apologize? It was an impressive gambit...” “You knew?” “Of course. I never actually believed you could have feelings for Nurse Chapel.”

Watch. His. Face.

Because, truthfully, Spock himself isn’t so certain. He wants to be committed to this relationship completely, and has done everything he can to do so. The times he has spent the most time with “Nurse Chapel” have actually been in service to his relationship with T’Pring, whether discussing his relationship or assisting T’Pring’s career during the body-swap.

I honestly think he hadn’t considered having feelings for Christine until T’Pring speaks it. It’s part of my whole theory that words have power. Christine couldn’t tell Ortegas about having a crush on Spock. Spock couldn’t consider having feelings for Christine until someone else said it aloud.

Because he was faced with having to either refute or confirm the assertion, he then had to consider it.

And I don’t think he’d ever considered it before.

“Of course not.”

Oh, sweet baby Vulcan... You’re in denial, my friend.

“Your human side can be a source of strength. There is no way you could have sold the passion of that kiss without it.”

She earnestly believes this. She believes he tapped into some ability to deceive that he had been hiding rather than the truth—he quite accidentally tapped into his human side that he’s been suppressing.

Think about it. He started this episode talking about his reluctance to explore human sexuality. No blaming or shaming here. I’m known as a prude around my friends and family because I’m a demi-sexual who gets SUPER uncomfortable with sex scenes to this day. So, seriously, no judgment!

But he encounters human sexuality in a subtle way with that kiss... and I doubt he expected himself to respond in the way that he did. I doubt he’s ever actually kissed a human before... and when he felt Christine’s response to him, something in him responded to her.

That passion wasn’t an act. But, he’s willing to let T’Pring (and, to a degree, himself) believe it. I don’t think he truly wishes to deceive his fiancée in this moment. Rather, he wants to believe what she’s saying. It’s simpler if he can be a half Vulcan/half Human who has the ability to lie about feeling anything for Nurse Chapel rather than... really feeling what he feels.

That’s messy. That’s complicated.

“Thank you. You know me well.”

I feel like this is... a wish. Because, if she truly knows him well, then what she is saying is truth and he can believe it. He can trust it. He can ignore the part of him that’s questioning everything.

But, as so many have pointed out... he doesn’t even know himself.

“I came here to thank you and applaud your performance on the Bridge.”

Watch Christine... she has a nice little rhythm with what she’s doing, but as soon as she hears his voice, her pacing slowed. She had hoped she’d avoid this talk. I mean, it took her several chances with Dever to finally be open and honest with him about not wanting to be with him... THIS is not her strong suit—talking about her own feelings.

“I thought because you are human you might need to discuss your feelings.”

When I was a little girl, I didn’t like to ask for my mother’s time. She was a hair and makeup artist in the film industry and always working. When she was home, she was exhausted and often on edge... as a single mother of two young kids, she had a lot to handle. So, I never told her when I needed to talk to her about something.

I’d ask her if she needed to talk. “Momma, do you need to talk?”

I see the same thing here in Spock. Yes, he does think that she needs to talk, but he’s using it as a cover for the fact that he really needs to talk, too.

As I said, I think when T’Pring said it was impossible for Spock to have feelings for Christine, he actually had to consider if he did... and was left confused. Even the phrasing here, “your feelings” echoes back to T’Pring’s verbiage.

“Spock, like I said earlier, I like Vulcans. I know where I stand with you. You’re an honest man. You’re not the guy who would chase after another woman while you have a girlfriend. So I know for certain there’s no feeling between us.”

Some have argued the Christine put Spock in the “Vulcan box” with this speech, but I disagree. Yes, she references their earlier conversation and leans into the inherently truthful nature of Vulcans. But then she says, “You’re an honest man.”

The term “Man” is not typically used to describe a Vulcan. I went on a whole research binge on gender and Vulcans. While there are names that traditionally had a male or female gender connotation, those conventions do not hold across canon.

Plus, we’ve been told in canon that TRUE Vulcan names are almost impossible for non-Vulcans to pronounce, even with the help of Universal Translators. So, these names that we’ve come to know them by are not even their given Vulcan names.

Merriam-Webster defines “man” as “an adult male human being.“

Human.

So, in her speech, she is actually acknowledging both parts of him and pulling them into the whole—a person who she will not let out of the friend-zone.

It’s not so much about defining him as it is about defining where they stand. We have already seen that Christine is fiercely loyal to her friends, and with that comes a sort of trust that she refuses to break, let alone let another break it.

Spock has trusted Christine with a great deal, and she has trusted him as well. And now they must trust one another not to overstep boundaries that must stay in place... for so many reasons.

“I’m glad to hear it. You know me well.”

This is the echo of what he told T’Pring, likely because he hears reflected back to him what he wanted to hear—there’s nothing between them. He wants to believe these two women know him better than he knows himself... because he struggles so much with knowing who he is on his own.

Eventually, he’s going to have to stop relying on other people to tell him who he is, and find a way to reconcile all the pieces of himself into... Spock. But, that’s a topic for another blog!

“You’re a good friend, Mr. Spock.” “As are you, Nurse Chapel.”

She puts up that friend-zone firmly, even going so far as to step into formalities. And from her point of view, he seems to get the message, as he answers back in kind.

“Spock, one last thing.”

And in the next breath, she’s fallen back into the informal and he comes running when she calls. No, it’s not a sign of “oh my GOSH they’re going to FALL INTO EACH OTHER’S ARMS and MAKE LOVE ON THE FLOOR OF SICKBAY”. I’m not deluded. But it does show how easy it is for them to trust one another. There’s no hesitation.

“You said that on the Bridge you suddenly realized the identity of the prisoner that Angel was trying to free.”

This is where that trust comes in, again. Spock answers her freely. He holds nothing back. He shares with her intimate details of his own family by telling her about his brother.

Because, no matter what is going on between these two, they have tightly woven a cord of trust. That’s the foundation. That’s the basis. They trust one another explicitly.

“Lieutenant Duke. He did not account for potential instabilities in the Jeffries Tube.” “Duke wasn’t paying attention.” “Indeed.”

Two episodes later and we get a few small interactions at the beginning of the episode (and an important one at the end), but I love the subtlety of this one. We saw in the previous scene that Christine is more than willing to be his guide through Human culture (the drinking game) while everyone else just ignored his confusion.

Here, Spock is able to talk in a manner that Christine automatically understands what he really means. She understands him on a very deep level, and a small interaction like that really shows it.

“I understand that, uh, Vulcans have a strong, hidden primal nature. I bet you’re a tempest when you’re angry.”

Of course, this whole conversation is to set up Spock’s arc in this episode... what happens when he lets out a little emotion? A little anger? A little rage?

“It is true without proper mindfulness Vulcan emotion is dangerous. We use logic to not succumb to anger.” “It’s good to get mad sometimes.”

This reminds me so strongly of T’Pol from Enterprise. While my least favorite Star Trek series of those I’ve seen, T’Pol and Trip held a very special place in my heart both apart and as a couple. Her journey of trying to more deeply understand pure Vulcan emotion was incredible to watch. But, like Spock, letting out that first little bit was incredibly dangerous.

From everything I understand of Vulcans, they are taught to suppress emotions... not how to handle them, how to work through them, how to work with them. Spock is half human, too, so he’s got a wide array of emotions and hormones, no doubt, to deal with.

The loss of Hemmer is too much for him.

“The people you love the most can cause you the most pain. But it’s the people you love that can mend your heart when you feel broken. That’s what Hemmer’s purpose was. To fix what is broken. And he did.”

Spock has been standing there struggling with his emotions, clenching and unclenching his fists. Christine can see it... that he’s on the edge.

When he peels out of there, she follows. The rage bursting inside (and thinking he’s alone), he slams a fist into the bulkhead.

“Spock!” “Do not follow me.” “What’s going on?” “I’m warning you, back off!”

She raises a hand to his shoulder, but as it connects he grabs it away. He freezes, his hand around her wrist. Christine looks down at her hand, then back up to Spock.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

I love the emphasis... It’s on “me”. Because, this isn’t just anyone asking. It’s her. It’s the woman he has trusted with so much in such a short time. It’s the woman who has never judged him and won’t judge him now. It’s HER asking.

“I can’t control it.”

And in an instant, without hesitation, he tells her. It spills out of him without stops or sputters. It’s a truth he doesn’t want to carry... but more than that, I think he desperately doesn’t want to carry it alone.

Spock has the distinction of being the only of his kind... a half Human, half Vulcan raised on Vulcan with the expectations of being a “good little Vulcan”. This is not how a good little Vulcan behaves.

“I’ve let something out Rage. Pain.” “It’s your emotions.” “My mind has gotten weak.”

And there it is. “I’m broken.” “I’m wrong.” “I’m not good enough.” It’s all there. All these perceptions of who he is supposed to be and how he is supposed to act. He’s not supposed to give into his human side. He’s not supposed to feel.

But he’s feeling.

“No. No.”

She reaches for his face with both hands, and you can see how he tenses and start to pull away from the touch. But as the second hand lands, he settles into it.

“It doesn’t make you weak, Spock. It makes you human.”

That’s a terrifying thought. And while some say, “Oh, now she’s trying to put him in the human box!” I don’t feel that way. When I see this, it’s more her saying that it’s not wrong. It’s simply a part of him... the part of him that’s human.

That’s what she’s trying to say... You aren’t broken, Spock. You aren’t wrong. You are good enough. This is what it is to be human. We feel things. BIG things, sometimes. And that’s okay.

She pulls him into her arms, using the power of an embrace to communicate caring. She did the same with Uhura earlier in the episode as Hemmer delivered his final words of advice. Now, she pulls Spock against her, both of her arms winding under his.

He stand there a moment, caught between his two worlds. But the longer he stands with her, the more he feels something else.

Comfort.

Spock’s eyes drift closed as he soaks in the feeling, nestling his cheek against Christine’s. His arms lift to wrap around her, settling as he leans in against her, eyes fully closed. He rests in the embrace. He rests in the feelings running through him.

Not feeling of rage or pain... but of warmth. The kind of warmth that comes from loving acceptance and caring.

They pull apart. As they do, their eyes flicker up to meet one another’s. Then, Christine’s flash to his lips and his follow to hers. Her eyes trail back up to his eyes... but his gaze is locked on her lips.

She realizes it, and as she does, he peels away... leaving her standing alone in the corridor.

Because his emotions are still close to the surface... all of them. And those emotions from Serene Squall that he’s been trying to convince himself were part of a deception aren’t as easy to push down when Pandora’s Box of emotions is cracked open.

And she knows it. She knows that look, even if she’s never seen it before on his face. She wants desperately to be his friend and him to be hers... but there are undercurrents that are growing more undeniable as time passes.

"Massive cerebral trauma. Major blood loss. Spinal fractures. Radiation burns across 40% of his body. I’m not sure that he will recover from this. But if he does... he will not be the same.”

Speaking of time passing... in the flash-forward “What if” finale, we get a glimpse of a stricken Christine frozen over the near-corpse of Spock. We don’t know what has transpired between them, but there’s obviously still caring. There’s obviously still concern.

A Sickbay full of people and she’s frozen over his bed, holding it together, but clearly distraught.

We know that’s not the future for this duo... and we know the weight of canon that implies they never find their way to one another. But, however long this journey is, it’s a joy to watch.

Ethan Peck and Jess Bush have effortless chemistry, bolstered by smart script choices and elegant directing. This season of Strange New Worlds has been a masterpiece, in this humble Trekkie’s opinion.

For context, my Freshman year of College my final persuasive speech was a 10 minute effort about why people should give Star Trek a watch... I aced it. So, this gal’s a hardcore fan.

And I’m definitely a fan of these iterations of Spock and Christine Chapel.

I’ve seen some people whine on the internet about Christine Chapel... “Who is she except a Spock love interest?“

Who else is Christine Chapel? Christine Chapel is a nurse. She is a brilliant scientist who is even interested in medieval medicine, which involves sewing people back together. She is part of an incredible initiative at the cutting edge of science to help with protecting First Contact protocols.

Her attitude is a mixture of devil-may-care and I-care-too-much with a dash of did-she-really-just-say-that. She’s not a gossip, but she does love to talk and listen.

She is incredibly competent on her own in the medical field, but also an amazing support for Dr. M’Benga. Trust me. I’ve had so many surgeries I’ve learned to watch the nurses and assistants. She’s an incredible assistant, quick on her feet, and often moving in complete rhythm with Dr. M’Benga without him having to ask.

She grew up bullied and took comfort in her pet, a welcome companion. She’s had many lovers of her choosing, and she’s afraid of commitment and relationships. Though, she shows a great understanding of what a relationship should look like, which makes me believe she grew up seeing what it shouldn’t look like. Trust me. I have first-hand experience on that one.

She is a caretaker, always asking how people are (La’an in All Those Who Wander). She’ll be the one giving you a hug (Uhura and Spock in All Those Who Wander). And she’ll let you talk when you need to talk it out. Christine is a good friend who is desperate to trust even as she is terrified to do so.

She’ll help carry your bags without being asked (Spock Amuck), and she’ll go on long walks in nature to talk about life (like with Ortegas). She can totally kick *ss with nothing but a hypospray (Serene Squall). And she is willing to join Starfleet’s cause to boldly go.

I see some of myself in her, so maybe that makes me more drawn to her and her story.

I know they’ve wrapped shooting Season 2, and I can’t wait to see what they have in store for us. If it’s anything like Season 1, then we’re all definitely in for a treat!

As always, thanks for reading! All the best to you and yours.

#Star Trek Strange New Worlds #Strange New Worlds #Ethan Peck #Jess Bush #Spock #Chapel #Nurse Chapel #christine chapel #ST:SNW #SNW #Star Trek: Strange New Worlds #Spapple #Spock x Chapel #Star Trek

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whysojiminimnida · 3 years

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My Real Favorite Moment of 2021

Because let's be honest, I feel like hardly anyone saw this. Those of us who did see it didn't believe it at first. It got almost zero traction on social media. And yet it's one of those Big Gesture Loud Gay things Jungkook does sometimes and when I tell you I was living, kids, I WAS. LIVING. Don't worry, I'mma show it to you. Here's the full video from The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, dated May 25, 2021. Watch it all, it's cute and we watch original content in this household for truth and context.

youtube

Yeah yeah fear the double bunny, Koo invented Spock's thingy, someone stole Jimin's pogo stick and Seokjin can summon talk show hosts with his magic double joints. Hobi looks very pretty. We got that part. FF to 3:57. Watch it. Watch it again. Rewind it and watch it one more time, Jungkook focus. Still no? Try this. Don't hit the play button on the .jpgs tho. I mean nothing will happen but we all do that and it always feels dumb when we do. Still shots below:

Look at Jungkookie. See how everyone else is just buttering toast like good talk show guests? Not our Koo. This double bunny is pointing at... his heart? Himself in general? Looks like his heart, it's on the left, where his heart is. He points not at toast. There is no buttering going on here. (Or anything straight but we're getting there). So then--

Oh, he has just given up the toast buttering song promo agenda at this point and nobody is paying attention to this like... I know I always say Koo ain't slick but I feel like this one time he kinda was. HE EVEN PAUSES FOR A FULL SECOND just to be sure we're looking because...

He flies that pointed finger just as gaily as possible (well he couldn't very well point it straight could he) over his right shoulder. At Jimin. Who is not even seeing this are you fucking KIDDING ME? I saw this live and stopped my DVR. I really hope Jiminie caught it on the rewatch, if there was one. BECAUSE JEON JUNGKOOK JUST DID THAT. The rest of the Tannies just doing their jobs and Jungkook is out here in front of God 'n'em pointing out that Jimin has his heart on national American network fucking television AND HARDLY ANYONE SAID BOO ABOUT IT. To this day I have only seen this moment come up a handful of times and people always seem mildly confused. Maybe because it was so fast (it was). Maybe because they were blinded by OT7 beauty (they are beautiful). Maybe they just couldn't believe that Jeon Jungkook, Korea's Sassiest Gay Little Shit (I say it with love) just pulled that off. Personally? I was stunned. AM I CRAZY OVER HERE? Wait, don't answer that. Because legit I have a diagnosis or so, even though I have had a lot of therapy and I don't even take meds anymore. I could use something nice for anxiety but that's beside the point. ANYWAY OKAY FINE I AM POSSIBLY INSANE BUT. I AM NOT WRONG. So while I am very late on a couple of promised posts (I see you shoulder grip and MiniMoni and I am so sorry, my brain sucks, we're still compiling photos over here), this would not leave my brain as one of my favorite Jungkook Gives No Fucks For Your Closet moments ever. You can explain away a lot of stuff but this. This is clear, it is deliberate, it is public, and if you watch it six times and still don't see what I see then I will wear my hat proudly and call it a You Problem. Happy 2022, everyone!

#jeon jungkook does what jeon jungkook wants goddammit #jikook jikook they jikooked they out here jikooking the jikookery #you wanted proof of jikookery being jikooked and they trying to give it to you #also a whole park jimin exists #jikook just jikooking nbd #must be sunday at the jeon park shared workplace #y'all out here all about whose dogs are those fugly little gremlins sorry gremlins and here's me back last may #manual dexterity our boys got it #same face as did i fucking stutter jimin btw #serious jungkook is not joking with us #like really if we can't pick up what he is putting down we have issues atp #late show with stephen colbert #Youtube

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440mxs-wife · 4 years

Text

Coming Home

(photo courtesy of IMDb)

Pairing: Leonard “Bones” McCoy x Reader. Other Characters: Captain Jim Kirk, Sulu, Uhura, Spock, Scotty, Nurse Chapel, Joanna McCoy and Jocelyn McCoy

Word Count: 6594

Warnings: A bit of angst as there usually is with exes, medical incident, topped off with fluff and a little implied smut.

Prompt: “Did you ever plan on telling me?”

Summary: Reader left Dr. McCoy and the Enterprise eight years ago for reasons unknown. Captain Kirk has decided to get her to come back, so he offers her a position in the ship’s Botany Department and Lab. How will her ex-boyfriend and CMO Dr. McCoy react to seeing her after all these years?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Jim, I just don't think it's a good idea," you told him, shaking your head. Captain James T Kirk was in your apartment, trying to convince you to rejoin him on the USS Enterprise.

"Why not? It's been, what, eight years now? Surely he's forgiven you by now," Kirk replied.

"Even if he has, which I doubt, I haven't forgiven me yet. We haven't even spoken since I left. No, I can't come back, Jim. You need things to run smoothly on that ship of yours. I would only upset the applecart," you affirmed.

"Please? You're the best botanist in Starfleet, and we really need you. Sulu can bring you up to speed on all of his latest findings with the plants we've catalogued in the past few years. Besides, there are others who would be happy to see you return to the ship," Kirk pressed.

You bit your bottom lip in concentration. Jim could tell you were close to cracking under his persuasive argument. You missed your 'girl talk' sessions with Uhura, even though monthly subspace messages have kept you in touch. They just haven't been the same as being together in person. If you came back, you might even start a lively discussion with Spock on Vulcan vs. Human philosophy.

If you went back, you know Jim would make your return as smooth as possible. He was right, that others would be happy to see you again. However, there was at least one crew member that you were fairly certain would not share in everyone's enthusiasm at seeing you back on the Enterprise.

Dr. Leonard. McCoy.

The two of you had been in a relationship for about four years prior to your departure. You shared the same quarters, during which time you were blissfully happy and in love. Leonard was the light of your life, and you saw him in every scenario in your future. Marriage, family, retirement from active duty, maybe eventually a house somewhere.

All of that came crashing down the night of his daughter's birthday party, when Joanna was turning 13. Two weeks after it happened and without explanation, you left Leonard and the Enterprise.

You had no intention of ever returning to the ship. You were content in your teaching position at Starfleet HQ and to stay at home, maintaining your garden. That is, until a blonde-haired, blue-eyed captain came knocking on your door, asking you to come back.

"So?" Kirk asked.

"I'll need to pack a few things, make some arrangements," you sighed.

"Ship leaves here in five days, will that be enough time?" Kirk inquired.

"I suppose it'll have to be, won't it. You're not exactly leaving me with much choice," you retorted. "Don't worry, Jim. I'll be there, ready to assist you however I can," you promised. I just don't know if I'm ready to face him again, not after all these years that have gone by, you thought to yourself.

As if he heard you, Jim nudged your arm. "Maybe this is just the opportunity you two need, you know, to clear the air. Much as you may not think so, the two of you belong together," Jim concluded softly.

"I have a feeling that one way or another, the situation between Len and me will soon be resolved," you replied.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When you re-materialized on the transporter pad, you were surprised to see so many of your friends waiting to welcome you back. Sulu, Chekhov, Scotty, Uhura and even Spock had made the trip down to Transporter Room #3, along with the captain to await your return. The only one absent was Dr. McCoy, but you didn't expect him to show up. Not willingly anyway.

You stepped down from the transporter pad and were immediately engulfed in Uhura's embrace. She rambled on about when the first 'girl talk' night should be while you traded hugs with Sulu and Chekhov.

"Hello, Commander. It is agreeable to see you again," Spock greeted you.

"It's nice to see you, too, Spock," you smiled as you pulled him into a hug before he could stop you. "Mr. Scott, always a delight," you gushed.

"Aye, lassie, it's good to have ye home again," Scotty beamed.

"Thank you. It's good to be--" your greeting was interrupted by the transporter room doors sliding open. The moment of truth had finally arrived, where the next few words spoken would set the tone for the time to come.

"God in Heaven," McCoy whispered. His mouth suddenly went dry at seeing you again after eight years. He could see that the years had been kind to you, because to him, you were even more beautiful than before. His heart did a mini-flip in his chest, but almost immediately afterwards, his brain and his memory re-engaged.

McCoy coughed and cleared his throat in an effort to regain his composure. "Commander," he said gruffly, nodding his head sharply at you. "Jim, a word please?" he asked, then turned and left the transporter room without sparing you a second glance. Tears sprang to your eyes but did not fall.

"Excuse me, everyone," Kirk replied. As he passed by you, he caught your hand and squeezed lightly. "Don't worry, remember what I said about opportunities?" he asked and you nodded. "Don't waste 'em," he said with a wink.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"How could you do this, Jim? How could you allow her back on board after what happened between us? The woman I love broke my heart when she left me--the ship!" McCoy thundered.

"Well, Bones, let's start with the fact that we need someone to head the Botany Department and Lab, and she's the best. Then we'll fill in the middle with how I don't think either one of us knows exactly what happened to make her leave. And we'll end with, oh, because it's my ship, I'm the captain and if I say we need her, then she re-joins the crew," Kirk concluded.

"Fine. If that will be all, Captain?" McCoy replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, Bones, that will be all," Kirk responded. McCoy turned to leave when Kirk briefly called him back. "For what it's worth, you could look at this as an opportunity to clear the air between you. At least you'd know, once and for all why she left, instead of always assuming it's your fault."

McCoy mumbled something under his breath as he walked out of the captain's Ready Room. Kirk shook his head at his CMO's antics when it came to you. He knew the two of you still loved each other, and firmly believed that you belonged together.

Kirk wished he knew what happened all those years ago to make you think your only choice was to leave your family and the man you loved. Something told him that whatever it was, it was bound to come out into the open. Hopefully when it did and the dust settled, everything would return to some semblance of normal.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The first few weeks aboard ship were a bit awkward. You were trying to get used to a working schedule again, and on top of that, trying to avoid the CMO at every turn. It didn't help that you had mutual friends who didn't hesitate to offer their advice on how to resolve things. They all swore they only wanted what was best for you and the good doctor. However, only the two of you could decide what that looked like, and at least for now, that meant avoiding each other.

One day, you were in the lab, cataloguing plant samples gathered during an away mission to Taegus-3. You made sure your team was taking extra safety precautions when handling the samples. "Be careful around these plants, some may have thorns. We also don't know yet if they're poisonous, so for now, use the bio-suits and the thick rubber gloves."

You were walking through Station #2 where a member of your team was performing tests on one of the samples. The young ensign turned away from her station, while you made notes on your clipboard about the plant she was working with.

As you were asking her some questions about her work, you felt something snaking its way around your exposed forearm. By the time you realized what was happening, the plant had started to apply pressure to your now vine-wrapped arm. Sulu heard the commotion and rushed over with a knife, which he then used to cut the vine from your arm. The vine fell away, but left red burn marks in your arm wherever the vine had come into contact with the skin.

"You'd better head down to the MedBay and have someone take a look at that," Sulu advised.

You looked at Sulu like you'd rather have the vine back on your arm, squeezing the life out of it until it snapped off than deal with Dr. McCoy. Eventually you relented and left the lab to get yourself checked out in the MedBay. You only hoped that it was Dr. McCoy's day off, because you didn't think you could deal with him at the moment.

Unfortunately, luck was not to be on your side today. Nurse Chapel called for him as soon as she saw you walk in the door. She had you sit on the biobed and started to check your vital signs. While she was discussing them with Dr. McCoy, a wave of dizziness crashed over you. It was also getting harder to breathe, which was detected by the biobed and it started sending out alarms.

McCoy and Nurse Chapel came racing over to you. "Damn plant must give off some sort of toxin when it wraps around its victims. Hold on, sweetheart, stay with me. We'll get you taken care of, don't you worry," he soothed.

As comforting as his words were, you knew he was in 'doctor mode'. It came naturally to him to use soft terms like 'sweetheart' to put his patients at ease. You knew those words didn't hold any affection towards you anymore like they used to. Whatever feelings may have been implied towards you by his words were likely to be a thing of the past.

"Hold still now, we're going to give you something to counteract the toxin," McCoy explained. He attached a hypospray to your neck and pressed the button to release the medication. Almost immediately, your breathing became easier and the dizziness slowly dissipated. In the meantime, he took the opportunity to bandage the vein-like burns in your forearm.

Once your condition seemed to be stabilized, all you could think of was to get out of the MedBay and back to your quarters. You eased yourself down from the biobed and took a few tentative steps towards the door.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, where do you think you're going?" McCoy demanded.

"Back to my quarters, Dr. McCoy. I thank you and Nurse Chapel for your assistance, but I can take care of myself from here. I hereby relieve you of your obligation to monitor my health any further," you retorted.

"I really don't think that's a good idea, sweetheart," he replied. "You could have a relapse, or develop a complication, or--" he started.

"DON'T. You don't get to call me 'sweetheart', or 'darlin', or anything that would indicate you remotely have any feelings of affection for me anymore," you shot back. Tears began prickling at your eyes, threatening to fall. "Ever since I got here, you've been avoiding me. In the mess hall, the rec area, even the turbolift for goodness' sake," you explained.

"Me?!? As far as I see it, Commander, it's been mutual avoidance. This is as much interaction as I've had with you since the day I saw you in Transporter Room #3. So, don't pin all of this on me," he snapped.

"I'm pretty sure you're not happy that I'm here, so I figured I'd stay out of your way as much as possible. To that end, I'm leaving and going back to my quarters," you informed him calmly.

"Yeah, that's right, I almost forgot. Leaving, that is what you do best, isn't it?" McCoy sneered.

You stopped walking towards the door, overcome by a sob too painful to hold in anymore. After taking a deep breath, you turned your tear-stained face to Dr. McCoy. "I suppose you're right. I've had that coming to me for the last eight years, haven't I?" you asked tearfully. You turned back towards the doors then left the MedBay and headed straight for your quarters.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After you left, McCoy stood there, with his hands on his hips and shaking his head. He wondered how the situation with you ever got to this point. He remembered how much in love the two of you were, sharing quarters, intertwining lives. For him, you were his whole world, the one he saw his future unfolding with. You loved him despite his flaws and the fact that he constantly thought that he didn't deserve you.

Your mutual friends were rooting for you both, and Joanna loved you as well. The two of you got along well, no hint of jealousy from her when it came to spending time with her father. He remembered how flattered you were when Joanna had once asked for your advice on something.

Jocelyn didn't seem to like you, but then again, she didn't love much of anything to do with him, except Joanna. On more than a few occasions, he'd heard Jocelyn throw snide remarks your way. But as was your nature, you took the high road, and Leonard felt you had handled his ex-wife with grace.

Then came Joanna's birthday party. He'd seen you and Jocelyn talking about something, then when you left her, you looked a little shaken up. McCoy didn't think much of it at the time, but you seemed a little distracted after the encounter. He tried to get you to talk to him about it, however, you assured him that you were tired and just needed some rest to feel better.

Two weeks after the party, without any prior discussion, you had left the Enterprise for a teaching position. Just like that, you were gone from his life, but not remotely gone from his heart. He'd met other women over the past eight years, but none of them could ever hold a candle to you. And deep down, Leonard McCoy knew that no one else ever would.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Back in your quarters, you went straight for the bathroom to splash water on your face as a way to calm down. How dare he! you thought. You had stayed away from him because you thought that's what he wanted. After all it was you who left him. Even though in your mind you knew it was for a good reason, there were still at least two broken hearts at the end of it.

You suddenly remembered what day it was, so you finished drying off your face with a towel. Today was Joanna McCoy's birthday, and she was turning 21, an important milestone. You hoped she was available to take your call, but if not, you would leave a birthday message for her.

Despite no longer being together with her father, you still kept in touch with Joanna over the years. She was a ray of sunshine in Leonard's life, and in yours as well. The last you had heard, she was participating in Starfleet's medical program, thus following in her father's footsteps.

You opened up the comms to send your message request to Joanna. A minute or so later, your video screen lit up with her smiling face and frantic waving at the camera. "Happy Birthday, Joanna!" you grinned.

"Thank you! It's so good to hear from you," she exclaimed.

"I sure wish I could give you a hug for your birthday, sweetie. How's school going for you?" you asked.

She launched into a few tales from her classes, with you nodding and smiling. One of her stories had you busting out in laughter so hard that tears were coming out of your eyes. For the most part, she had achieved the right balance between school and having fun, not an easy task.

"Hey, so Uncle Jim told me you're back on the Enterprise, is that right?" Joanna asked.

"Yes, that's right. Your uncle visited me about six weeks ago and asked me to run the Botany Department and Lab. I wasn't sure about coming back, but he eventually wore me down," you gave a small smile.

"Has he....has Dad seen you? Have you talked to him?" she asked carefully.

You nodded. "I had to go to the MedBay today, due to an unfortunate encounter with a plant from Taegus-3. It wrapped around my arm and wouldn't let go. I had to get a hypo for an allergic reaction, and bandages for my arm. Your dad patched me up just right," you explained.

"Good. Um....I have to ask you something. Do you remember my 13th birthday party?" she inquired.

"Joanna....," you warned.

"Do you remember it?" she tried again. You nodded and she continued. "I know something happened there, because two weeks later, you and Dad weren't together anymore. Why? You two were so happy together, and then you left. What happened?" Joanna demanded.

"Something I can't talk about, Jo, but my leaving was for the best. The best for you and the best for your dad," you replied.

"Best?!? How could it be best for you and Dad to be without each other for this long? Didn't you love him anymore? Was it my mom? Did she say something to you at that party?" Joanna persisted.

At her question, you looked away, and you knew you'd only fueled her curiosity. "Of course I still love him. I told you Joanna, I can't talk about it. Please don't push me on this. Listen, sweetie, I have to go now, but I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Take care, honey," you said.

"But---" was the last you'd heard of her voice before you terminated the connection. In the reflection of the view screen, you could see tears sliding down your face. You decided that you needed a drink, so you left your quarters and headed for the recreation area.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Well, well, well, who do we have here?" Captain Kirk said as he saw you sitting at the bar.

You groaned at his presence, only wanting to be left alone. "Oh, god, Jim. What are YOU doing here?" you retorted.

"I heard you got hurt and went to MedBay today. Then I went by your quarters to check on you, only to find out you're not there. Figured I'd get a drink, and here you are," he replied.

"Jim, don't take this pershonally," you slurred. "But I want to be left alone. M'kay? Been a rotten day and I'm jusht done," you remarked as you drained your glass and signaled for a refill.

"What happened today?" he persisted.

"You think that just because you have that perfect hair and those bright blue eyes that I'm just gonna spill my guts?" you asked. A smirk crossed his face as he waited expectantly. "Fine. I'll tell you, you insufferable man. I called Joanna McCoy today, since it's her 21st birthday," you started.

"Thanks for the reminder, I'll have to call her later," Kirk interjected.

"Anyway, the topic of conversation got around to her 13th birthday party. She asked me why her dad and I aren't together anymore," you explained, tears threatening again.

"What did you tell her?" Kirk asked.

"I told her the same thing I'm going to tell you. I can't talk about it, but I did what I thought was best for her and for Leonard," you replied. "Now, drop it, Jim," you warned.

"Sorry, no can do. Bones and I both saw Jocelyn talking to you at the party, then the rest of the night you seemed a little upset. Don't get me wrong, you put on a brave face. You fooled most everyone, but Leonard and I knew that something wasn't right. Look, it's been eight years. Don't you think it's time to spill the beans?" Kirk wondered.

"Jim, no good can come from this. Best just to let sleeping dogs lie," you said as you tried again to shut him down.

"Please, let me in. I can see how much this is hurting you, and I think Len finally deserves to know the truth. Don't you think so?" Kirk pleaded.

A few tears had slipped down your face, and you nodded, your resolve having broken at last. "It started when I was in the kitchen putting candles on Joanna's cake. I thought I would do that to make myself useful, help Jocelyn so it was one less thing she had to worry about. Wrong move, because she read me the riot act about how it's her job to do that and I should just back off," you said.

"Ungrateful b....please go on," he prompted.

"I apologized, but she refused to accept it. Instead, she gave me an ultimatum. I had to stop seeing Leonard or she would refuse to let him see Joanna. At first, I couldn't believe she was serious, but one look in her eyes and I knew she was. That's why I was so distant the rest of the night. I tried to put Leonard off by saying I was just tired, but I don't think he was convinced," you remarked.

"Why didn't you tell Len? Or me? We would've found a way to fight this," Kirk insisted.

"I know you would have, and I love you both for it. She said if I told anyone, her next stop was the courthouse. Don't you see? She held all the cards, and I had nothing," you explained.

"You didn't have 'nothing', you had Len and me," Kirk replied.

"Think about it. If I fought her, then she took Len to court and he lost, it's my fault. If I refused to stop seeing Leonard, she would not let him see his daughter. My fault again. Either way, Jim, Leonard and Joanna lose. I couldn't bear for that to happen, so I left. As much as I loved him, and still do, his relationship with his daughter is and always will be more important," you finished. Tears were now streaming unchecked down your face.

"Whoa. I knew she was a piece of work, but I didn't know exactly how much. Bones would be livid if he found out that Jocelyn is the reason you're not together," Kirk replied.

"And that's exactly why I didn't want to tell you. Jim, please, I'm begging you. Let this go," you implored as you slid off your barstool. Jim turned to you and pulled you into his comforting embrace. "I'm going to go sleep this off, okay? I'll be taking a sick day tomorrow," you added. "Goodnight, Jim."

"Goodnight," he called after you then returned his attention to his drink.

"Poor kid. Hate to see a pretty girl cry. So, knowing you, I'd bet that you have no intention of letting this go, do you, Captain?" Tony, the bartender, asked.

"Nope," he replied, downing the rest of his drink. "I gotta find a way to make this right if it's the last thing I do. Thanks, Tony," he said before leaving to go to his quarters. Once there, he opened a comms channel to send a message to his niece. The video screen popped up with Joanna's picture.

"Uncle Jim!! So great to see you," she gushed.

"Happy Birthday, honey. Listen, I know about a conversation you had earlier, that involved a certain someone and your dad," Kirk remarked. "I finally got her to tell me what happened at your birthday party."

"She told me she couldn't tell me, but she could tell you?" Joanna asked angrily.

"Hold on there, sweetie. In her defense, she'd had a lot to drink by the time I caught up with her," Kirk explained.

"Oh. Well, I asked Mom about it, but she wouldn't tell me either. Please tell me what happened, I want to know," Joanna begged.

"Sure thing, kiddo. Then we're going to brainstorm on how to get the two of them back together," Kirk winked.

"Ooh yay! So, tell me," she persisted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dr. McCoy trudged into his quarters and sat down on the couch. He grabbed a communication tablet and sent a signal to his daughter, to wish her a happy birthday. Unfortunately, Jocelyn picked up the tablet and answered.

"Joanna's busy right now, Leonard. Call her back later," Jocelyn replied curtly as she moved to disconnect the call.

"Wait, Jocelyn! Will you please let her know that I called to wish her a happy birthday?" McCoy asked.

"Your girlfriend already called earlier and spoke to Joanna. I just assumed you were in the room at the time," Jocelyn remarked.

"What girlfriend? I don't know what you're talking about," McCoy replied. He was starting to get an uneasy feeling the more he talked to his ex-wife.

Jocelyn made a tsking sound of disgust. "The same one that was here on Joanna's 13th--" she broke off and a smug smile crossed her face. "Never mind. I guess she took my advice then."

McCoy's face drained of color. "And just what advice was that? It's been eight years, Jocelyn, you'll have to refresh my memory," he retorted.

"What difference does it make? She must not have been as devoted to you as you were to her. She left you, therefore, you got to keep seeing your daughter," Jocelyn shot back.

The pieces started to come together in McCoy's mind, and it was showing him a pretty ugly picture. "You threatened her. Didn't you?" he seethed. "Why, Jocelyn? What has she ever done to you?" he demanded.

"Joanna called her 'Mom', that's what!" Jocelyn exclaimed. "When Joanna came home from that week-long vacation with the two of you, she was telling me about how much fun she'd had. She slipped and referred to your girlfriend as 'Mom'. I am her mother! I will not be replaced by some flavor-of-the-month!" she shrieked.

"ENOUGH, MOM!" Joanna's voice came through clearly. "Hi, Dad," she greeted McCoy.

"Hiya, pumpkin," he drawled. "Happy Birthday, sweetheart," he replied softly. "Did you know about this?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at his daughter.

"Dad, nobody knew anything about it until she told Uncle Jim tonight. And he said that it was only after a lot of alcohol that she would even tell him. She's kept this horrible secret for all this time, because she wanted you to be happy and able to keep visiting me. She still loves you, Dad, I know she does. Please tell me you still love her," Joanna pleaded.

McCoy turned his face away from the view screen, but not before his daughter caught a glimpse of his watery eyes. "I never stopped loving her, Jo. Not even when she left. I was angry and hurt, but....yes, I still love her," he declared, his voice thick with emotion.

"Then you know what you have to do, Daddy. Go tell her," Joanna whispered the last part. "Consider it my birthday present," she grinned mischievously. "I love you."

"You got it, sweetheart. I'll let you know how it goes. Later, though," McCoy promised with a grin of his own. "I love you," he told her before the call disconnected.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The view screen clicked off, while McCoy digested all of the information he'd just been given. All these years, he mused. The two of you could've been happy together, maybe even engaged or married. Instead, his ex-wife and her jealousy got in the way of that with her threats of denying him visitation rights.

He'd been so wrapped up in his own emotions since you've been back, that he hadn't stopped to consider how you may be feeling. He had been convinced that the reason you left was because you didn't love him anymore. Now he knew that the exact opposite was true. You loved him so much that you sacrificed your own happiness with him so he could continue to see his daughter.

Leonard knew that he had to make things right between you. It couldn't have been easy to come back to work on the Enterprise, knowing at any moment you could run into each other. But, you pushed those feelings and worries aside to help Jim by running the Botany Department and Lab.

He had to admit, it's been awkward since you've been back. He didn't expect the old feelings of love to come rushing back at the first sight of you that day in Transporter Room #3. As much as your leaving had hurt him and the radio silence throughout the years, he still loved you. And now, he grinned to himself, it was time to do something about it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You left the rec area and had gone back to your quarters for the night. When you got back, you changed out of your uniform and put on your pink plaid pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt. You made sure it was short-sleeved because of the bandages on your arm from the Strangling Vine Incident earlier in the day. After grabbing a glass of water and two pain meds, you settled into place on the couch. "Computer, illumination at 30% please," you requested.

What a day. First you were attacked by an alien vine, forcing you to get checked out in the MedBay by your ex-boyfriend and CMO. Later, you couldn't even find peace in the rec area. The CMO's best friend and captain of the ship kept hounding you about something that took place eight years ago. You'd told him to drop it, but he refused until you spilled that horrible secret.

Now Jim knows, but knowing about it didn't change anything. No matter how much you still loved him, Leonard surely didn't love you anymore. He'd made that quite clear today with his parting remark as you left the MedBay. You continued to sip at your water, each tilt of the glass with a shakier hand than before.

Off in the distance you heard your door chime, indicating someone at your door. "Come in," you called. You were shocked to see Dr. McCoy walk in. "Excuse me for asking, Doctor, but what the hell are you doing here?" you demanded, arms crossed over your chest.

His eyes locked with yours and you almost gave in to the softness you thought you saw, but you stood your ground. He cleared his throat before speaking. "I'm here to check your bandages. You left the MedBay so quickly, I wanted to make sure that the wound was still covered," he explained.

You rolled your eyes. "Really, Doctor? Is that the best excuse you could come up with? You didn't even bring your medkit, and I really don't have time for this. Goodnight, Dr. McCoy," you retorted.

"Now wait just a minute. As Chief Medical Officer, I am responsible for the health and safety of all crew members. I can see right now that you look a little flushed, which could mean a fever and possibly an infection. Just a quick exam. It'll be painless, I promise," he pleaded, his hands raised.

You arched an eyebrow in skepticism but finally relented. "Fine. A quick exam, then I'm going to bed and you can see yourself out," you muttered.

He stood in front of you, first looking at the bandaged arm, then sliding his hands up your arms to rest on your shoulders. He peered into your eyes and could see how bloodshot they were, probably from the tears you'd been shedding lately. He checked the lymph nodes on your neck to see if they were swollen, but they were fine.

He patted down his uniform, checking his pockets. "Hmm. I don't have a tricorder with me, so I'll have to check your temp the old fashioned way," he remarked. Before you could utter a word, his lips meshed with your forehead.

The second his soft lips touched your skin, something inside you fluttered. You closed your eyes and gave a sigh of contentment before you could stop yourself. "Doctor....," you whispered.

"Shh. Still checkin' your temp, darlin'. And it's Leonard, by the way. You used to call me that, remember?" he murmured against your skin.

Your eyes flew open and you stepped back. "Wait a minute. Why are you really here?" you asked.

"I already told you, to check your bandages. Besides, I want to apologize for what happened earlier in the MedBay, as you were walking out. I shouldn't have said that," McCoy started.

You backed further away from him as the realization sunk in. "Oh no, no, no, you've been talking to Jim, haven't you?" you replied. "I told him to drop it, that no good can come from dredging up something that happened eight years ago. Dammit, does that man ever listen?" you ranted, pacing the floor.

"Hold on there for a minute, sweetheart. I didn't talk to Jim, I called Joanna to wish her a happy birthday. Jocelyn picked up because Joanna was busy. Jocelyn was the one who admitted what happened, not Jim," McCoy explained.

"Leonard, I'm so sorry about what happened all those years ago. I truly thought I was doing the right thing by leaving. But all I've done is cause tremendous heartache for the people I love," you admitted, breaking down into tears yet again.

McCoy walked over and put his arms around you, holding you close to his chest. His hand came up and stroked the back of your head. "Shh, it’s okay, darlin'. I just wish I had known about it then. You never should've had to shoulder that burden all by yourself. Did you ever plan on telling me?" he asked.

You leaned back just far enough to lock eyes with him. "I couldn't, Len. Jocelyn said if I did, she would take you to court and fix it so you couldn't see Joanna at all. I know that custody hearings can go either way, and there's no way I could take the chance that you might lose. So I thought my only option was to step aside. I'd rather have you hate me but keep visitation rights for your daughter, than to love me and not have her," you said as you broke down again.

"Oh, Sugar, I could never hate you," he replied softly, brushing your cheek with the back of his hand. "When I found out that you left, I was so angry and hurt. Mostly because you'd made a decision alone that affected both of us. But when you came back and I saw you on that transporter pad all those weeks ago, I thought I had a second chance. Probably screwed that up too, though, haven't I?" he chuckled and so did you.

"Nah. You haven't done anything of the sort. I have missed you so much. After enough time had gone by, I thought about reaching out to you. Then I figured that too much time had gone by and you'd be with someone else. Which would've been fine, as long as you were happy, that's all that would matter to me," you remarked.

"Well, I haven't exactly been living like a monk, you know. I've met other women over the years, but none of them compared to you and no one ever will, either. Which is good, because I don't want any pale imitations or substitutions. I only want the real thing," he admitted just before crashing his lips into yours.

You felt the depth of his emotion poured into that first kiss and returned it with equal fervor. The apologies, the regrets, the longing for each other you still had after all these years. And the love you'd been keeping hidden from each other but never fully let show until now.

"Oh, my love," you whispered. "I've missed you so much, Leonard," you replied hoarsely.

"I've missed you too. I love you so much, Sugar. Can we please agree to not ever be separated like that again? I don't think my heart can take another minute without you," he remarked.

"Mine either. No more separations like that, because with you is where I belong. I love you, Len," you declared. You ran your hands up his arms and cradled his neck between them. Your fingers slid through his jet-black hair, smirking as you teased the short hairs at the base of his collar.

"Oh, there's my naughty girl, I wondered where she'd gone," McCoy growled playfully as he tightened his embrace.

"She's been right here, all along. Just waiting for the right time to come home," you replied softly, then tugged him closer for another kiss.

This kiss was different than before. This one was slow, sensuous and held the promise of a new beginning. As your mouths moved against each other, there was just enough of an opening between you for Leonard's tongue to slip through. He took full advantage of the opportunity, and when your tongues met, a moan of pleasure escaped from you.

Leonard's hands roamed up and down your back as he nudged his way to your neck. "Darlin', you're so beautiful," he murmured against your skin. He left a few open-mouthed kisses on your collarbone, nipping as he went and ultimately leaving his mark on you for all to see.

Layers of clothing were shed one by one. Little by little, Leonard nudged you backwards until the back of your knees hit the bed. You climbed up onto the mattress, crawling until you reached the middle where he soon joined you and leaned down to kiss you.

His hands and mouth took their time in worshiping every inch of your exposed skin, as if re-committing it to memory. Your mouth and hands were doing the same, reacquainting yourself with every muscle, every detail of his exquisite bare body.

The silence of your room was punctuated with breathy words of affection and moans of ecstasy from the two of you. Layers of passion were built higher and higher as you both chased your release. Finally, you both tumbled over the edge, one after the other, each whispering declarations of love.

Later, after you both got cleaned up, Leonard came back to bed and settled under the covers with you. He wrapped his arm around you so that your head rested on his chest. You could hear his steady heartbeat, which brought out a sigh of contentment from you.

"Len?" you whispered. He hummed in response, drawing random patterns on your shoulder. "Is this okay? I mean, what just happened, I don't want this to be a one-time thing. I'd like us to try again. I-If that's what you want," you hastily added.

He shifted so that he was propped up on his side, looking down at you. His hand cupped your face, while his thumb caressed your cheek. "Sweetheart, I've wanted that ever since you set foot back on this ship. I may be a little late in sayin' so, but I never stopped lovin' you. If you'll have me, I would love to try being us again," he replied softly.

"I would love that very much," you answered. "I love you, Leonard."

"I love you too, darlin'. Welcome home," he whispered, pulling you in for a long, slow kiss.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tags: @marvelouslytrekking @spacedancer1701 @anna-phora

#aimees1600wc #leonard mccoy x reader #leonard bones mccoy x reader #bones x reader #bones mccoy x reader #star trek aos

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lionesshathor · 3 years

Text

More RP shenanigans...

(Text-based Spock vs. McCoy: round two!)

Spock: as former Starfleet academy staff I have access to the old yearbooks. You looked good with an undercut

Leonard "Bones" Mccoy: I was going through a phase!

Also, how did you even become an instructor? Weren't you Jim's age?!

That's a bottle of blue curacao, not romulan ale if you were wondering

There's this wonderful drink called a "fox poison" I discovered when I moved from Georgia to California... Ugh fine. You wanna play rough? I found your old ship's record photo, courtesy of Michael and captain Pike:

You had a BEARD?? It didn't look good on your evil twin and it sure doesn't look good here.

Spock: At least I didn't shave with a 3 week old razor

Leonard "Bones" McCoy: If it works, I'm gonna use it! I don't throw away razors every other day. It's called being frugal and pragmatic Do you know how many perfectly functional razors get thrown in the garbage? You know, for centuries it was common to use the same razor for YEARS People used solid steel razors and kept them like knives.

Spock: For centuries on my planet it was common to kill those who disrespect you. And yet you are still alive.

Leonard "Bones" McCoy: I'm more surprised there are any vulcans left, if your attitude is anything to go by...

Spock: Keep complaining and I'll tell the captain where you hid his booze.

#star trek #star trek TOS #star trek the original series #spock #s'chn t'gai spock #commander spock #mr spock #leonard mccoy #dr mccoy #lionesswrites #text rp #star trek aos #star trek discovery #leonard bones mccoy #STOR TRUK

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chernobog13 · 4 years

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AURORA GODZILLA

Those of us growing up in the 1960s and 1970s remember the ads in comic books and kids’ magazines for the Aurora line of model kits. In addition to the regular car and aircraft models that everyone else produced, Aurora found their niche with model kits of various licensed characters.

These included sets from popular TV shows (Star Trek, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, Land of the Giants), both DC and Marvel superheroes (Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, Captain America), the Universal Monsters (Frankenstein, the Wolfman, Dracula), and giant monsters like our boy Godzilla!

The Polar Lights re-issue of the Aurora Godzilla model kit.

Okay, so maybe the likeness isn’t the greatest here (I think the sculptors were going for the King Kong vs Godzilla version of Big G here). However, it was a Godzilla model! Godzilla merchandise, especially in the USA at the time, was practically non-existent, so you jumped at what you could get.

Aurora’s King Kong model kit with glow-in-the-dark parts!

In addition to Godzilla, there were also models of King Kong, Rodan, and King Ghidorah. I don’t know about the last two, but Godzilla and Kong both had optional glow-in-the-dark heads and hands, which looked as cool as all get out.

The Rodan model kit from Aurora.

As a kid I was never lucky enough to come across any of the giant monster kits. I did manage to get a near-complete Star Trek set (which included the Enterprise, a Klingon cruiser, Roman Bird-of-Prey, Galileo shuttlecraft, a Spock diorama where he is attacked by a giant snake, and a 3/4 scale kit that included a phaser, communicator and tricorder model) as well as a the Superman and Superboy models. Sadly, none of those survived the advent of my younger brothers.

The Aurora model kit of King Ghidorah.

As you can imagine, these kits were insanely popular with kids. But all good things eventually come to an end it seems, as did Aurora Plastics Company, the manufacturer of these great kits.

Luckily, many of the kids who grew up with these kits remembered them fondly, and sought for a way to bring them back. A number of different companies, most notably Polar Lights, Moebius, Monarch and Atlantis have made it part of their mission to re-issue the various Aurora kits to model makers and fans today.

Which brings us to this guy: a Polar Lights re-issue of the Aurora Godzilla kit, proudly painted and displayed by a young modeler at G-Fest XXV back in 2018.

As you can see, this young craftsperson has decided to eschew the optional glow-in-the-dark parts. Some purists may shake their head at Godzilla’s green color here, but I believe the modeler was trying to be faithful to the original box art as opposed to his actual screen color (which is actually a dark grey).

Despite that, I recognized this little fellow immediately and my heart leaped with joy! I was so happy (and continue to be) that there are folks out there making the Aurora kits available to be enjoyed by a new generation. I’m even inspired to rebuild my collection of the kits, and eventually build them, too.

Just wish they still cost $1.49 like they did back when I was a kid. Sigh.

Godzilla model photos by me

#Godzilla #Aurora model kits #kaiju #models #G-Fest XXV

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sponesstan · 3 years

Text

A Movie Review, if you can call it that

So I just watched Star Trek IV: The One with the Whales In It for the first time, and wow I loved it. I knew the general plot and the general reason why whales were important to the story, but not the details. Also here’s a confession, I’ve never seen TOS, but I want to. My dad gave me a brief summary of the first 3 movies so I could understand the references related to Spock, so I wasn’t really lost watching.

I guess here’s a review, which is more my thoughts and experience watching than discussing whether it’s a good movie (b/c of course it’s good):

Despite knowing that time travel and things were going to happen, I didn’t know much else. I knew the truck seen with “Gracie is pregnant” but not who Gracie was. Honestly I was waiting for the reveal that Spock was in a relationship with someone from 1987, not that he had telepathically communicated with a whale. Going in knowing famous scenes and lines made me excited to get to those scenes so I knew how they were said and the context.

The entire time I kept thinking “where does the hospital tie into the plot? What could be at the hospital?” Chekov apparently 😅 I never considered the fact that stealing whales would’ve been an entire operation (should’ve knowing the “nuclear wessels” scene would happen).

I also enjoyed seeing the bridge crew other than McSpirk. Seeing gifs and photos from the movie on tumblr, they aren’t really seen, and it makes me sad because they were all great!

Speaking of, can I talk about the outfits??? I. LOVED. THEM. The pink shirt Kirk has, Uhura’s alternating color collar on her jacket, Sulu’s shirt and jacket, Chekov’s jacket, Spock’s head band (I’ll talk about that in a sec), and cowboy McCoy???? Fashion at it’s peak

Seeing photos of the movie, I thought the head band was odd but just figured it was part of the outfit. Of course it COVERS HIS EARS. God I’m stupid.

Now for the relationships. I really need to see whatever the fuck that mind meld scene is with McCoy and Spock, because the friendship and romantic scenes with them that come from it, especially from McCoy, my heart. All I ever see on tumblr is their arguments and insults (only from McCoy though I know it’s mutual in the series from this post), but I loved watching them (McCoy) be so nice.

Also, Kirk was only given Gillian as a somewhat love interest to offset that shirt, no I don’t take criticism

To talk more about plot points and scenes, I love the absolute lack of permission they had to go time travel. Just “hey we are doin this byyyyye ✨” Was that, is that within Starfleet regulation? They held a trial, but that was for previous offenses. Also Spock just jumping into that tank. That’s what peak performance looks like. Once Jim noticed Spock wasn’t with him I knew we were about to see him in that tank.

A “true” review would look like this: The relationships and the tasks of the characters were amazing. I liked that they split up into teams to commit various heists and frauds. The outfits were iconic, though they did not make much sense in terms of who was and wasn’t in uniform (maybe I need to watch Star Trek III to understand). Though the plot was simple, I was engaged the entire time and was trying to not get got smiling like an idiot in front of my family. It was funny, cute, and I just liked watching the characters talk to each other.

Enjoy some badly taken photos of some gays going out for brunch in their best outfits

#star trek tos #star trek iv #the one with the whales #james t kirk #jim kirk #kirk #mccoy #bones #spock #uhura #chekov #sulu #spones #spirk #mcspirk

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redshirtgal · 4 years

Photo

Sometimes you can watch an Original Series episode multiple times and still never notice a particular character. Even if that person appears in a number of lengthy scenes and whose actions are an important part of the story. This man in red is one of those characters. Have you ever noticed him before? Do you know what his particular duty was in the story?

According to Memory Alpha, this lieutenant who clearly was assigned to Starbase 11 was never given a specific name. On the shooting schedule, he was referred to as an aide. But in the dialog, the lieutenant was spoken of as a clerk, which more accurately describes his role. In “Court Martial” we usually see him seated to the left of the court panel. But each time a session begins, the lieutenant must walk over to the machine and turn it on, signaling that from then on, everything is being recorded.

In many ways, his duty is more like that of a 21st century court reporter. A court reporter also uses a specialized machine to record the proceedings and produce an accurate transcript.

There is one other thing this machine can do, though. When each witness is called to testify, that person then hands the lieutenant an identity tape which he inserts into a slot. It then reads back the official description of that person, his duties, rank and assignment, and any awards he/she may have. Once his testimony is finished, then the clerk hands the tape back to that person.

It would appear we have seen a machine similar to this before. Two in fact. There is another recording device in Commodore Mendez’s office that is used when the Commodore formally charges Captain Kirk with the murder of Ben Finney. The only differences between the two seem to be in the color of the bottom panel where the sound controls and on/off button seem to be. And we have actually seen one earlier than this. During Mr. Spock’s court martial hearing during “The Menagerie, Part One” Miss Piper inserts a tape into the court recorder for the exact same reason - to play back an identity tape. There are a few differences here also. This recorder seems to stand on a pedastal and again, the colors are different. Also in this episode, the machine has labels identifying the purpose of each button on the machine. But neither machine in “Court Martial” has any such labels. Why didn’t the labels carry over? Remember the order in which episodes were aired were not the order in which they were produced. We may have seen “The Menagerie, Part One” first, but “Court Martial” was the 15th in production order and “The Menagerie, Part One” was 16th. So it’s likely that the machine in “The Menagerie, Part One” had the labels added after “Court Martial” had finished filming.

But back to our lieutenant. When the court martial panel and those involved in the proceedings move to the Enterprise, this clerk accompanies them.

He even moves with them to the bridge later. Notice he carries a tricorder with him since he no longer has access to the computer in the hearing room. Which emphasizes the importance of this lieutenant. Without an accurate record, no one else would ever be able to access the official hearing in case of questions later. But this isn’t the only thing interesting about the lieutenant. Did you pay attention to his uniform?

I do believe this is the first time we have ever seen the dress uniform for Starfleet lieutenants. Notice the thin gold piping used instead of the thicker braid worn by commanders, executive officers, and higher-ups. Our clerk did not seem to wear the rank stripes of a lieutenant even though Lt. Areel Shaw had them on her female version of the dress uniform. He wears the assignment badge particular to Starfleet members assigned to a starbase. That sunburst badge had been previously seen in “The Menagerie” on Commodore Mendez and Miss Piper.

(photo from Profiles in History Auction Catalog)

The only other time we see a lieutenant wearing a dress uniform is in “The Savage Curtain.” At least it’s the only other episode I could find with such a tunic. It belonged to Lt. Dickerson, chief security guard and leader of the honor guard. However, someone in costuming gave him the wrong outfit - the one above is actually what Lieutenant Commanders wore for formal occasions. And Dickerson is clearly identified in the episode as being a lieutenant. Notice Scotty standing next to him wears the exact same tunic. Although there does not appear to be that much difference between the two. The only major difference is that lieutenants wore their usual assignment badges but lieutenant commanders wore decorations instead.

Here is one other interesting bit of trivia. Remember the scene in the bar on Starbase 11? That is our clerk seen from the back holding the arm of a female crewman. And at the table on the right in the background? The young lieutenant commander in the redshirt lifting a drink to his lips has been seen in several previous episodes as Lt. Lewis. There is nothing to indicate that any crew members from the Enterprise were given shore leave, which always gave me the impression the crew members in this scene were from another ship or maybe even ships. For years I wondered why this scene (which leads to Captain Kirk’s confrontation with members of his own Starfleet Academy class) would show the members of the court martial panel fraternizing with other crewman in the bar before Commodore Stone has even decided to convene the panel. Then I read the production information for this episode in These Are The Voyages, Season One.” It seems that the scene with Kirk and Stone were supposed to come first and the bar scene later. Supposedly, it was determined that the first scene had very little action and would not snag the interest of the audience. So it was swapped with the bar scene to improve the pace of the first act.

One final bit of trivia - unrelated to the rest of this article but interesting . Take a look at Lindstrom - the officer sitting between Portmaster Stone and Captain Chandra. Notice he is not wearing the same Starfleet regulation trousers with the flared bottoms. Even the material is not the same. And he is wearing what appears to be Klingon boots. Was his shoe size one that the wardrobe department didn’t have? And this is a good photo to end on. You get to see the entire group of Starfleet court members and their various uniforms. And even though we don’t know the name of the actor who played the court clerk, we can still admire the attention to detail he shows. Look at that stance - typical military pose with legs slightly apart and arms behind his back. This may be a small role, but he realizes it is still an important one in the courtroom. And most importantly - he is a redshirt with a desk job. His chance of survival is high.

#Star Trek TOS #Redshirt #Starfleet dress uniform #Court Martial #Clerk #Court reporter

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solarwindswriting · 4 years

Text

Oh, The Places You’ll Go

Chapter 2

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Loosely inspired by the song Greek Tragedy by the Wombats

Pairing: Scotty x FemalePresenting!Reader

Word Count: 3313

Summary: The Enterprise welcome party is in full swing, and our two main characters finally meet each other!

Warnings: excessive alcohol consumption (I think that’s it)

A/N: So, I didn’t notice how long this part was until it was too late. I wanted to slip it into two but I couldn’t find a reasonable place to do it. So instead you get over 3k words. Sorry lol. Also, thank you so much to those who showed interest in being tagged, you have no idea how big that is for me!

Tags: @mournthewicked @damalseer

“Oh my, does this dress make my butt look bigger?” Sara asks, standing in front of the mirror in a shop.

“Is that what you want? If so, yes. Why do you need a new dress anyway? You have so many beautiful ones already.” Y/n wonders out loud while looking through the racks.

“Because I want to make a good first impression. Besides, I heard the crew of the Enterprise are all quite attractive. I’ve got to live up to that.” Sara responds, walking back into the dressing room.

“Sara, you are one of the most attractive people I know. Neither of us would have a problem if we went in something we already owned.” Y/n laughs, pulling out a flowing deep blue dress off the rack. “What about this?”

Sara pops her head out of the dressing room, watching as Y/n holds the dress up to her body. Sara’s eyes widen and shake her head frantically in agreement before her head disappears back into the dressing room, “absolutely. Go try that on right now.”

Y/n walks into a dressing room with the dress in hand. The dress was made with elegant royal blue tulle with embroidered stars speckled over the top layer. It fell over Y/n’s body perfectly, off the shoulders and stopped to about mid-calf, and whished when she moved. Stepping out, Y/n looks at Sara who was now sitting in a chair with the black cocktail dress she had tried on previously.

“You look like a greek god in that dress, Y/n,” Sara mused.

Y/n walked in front of the mirror and twirled. “Is it too much? If I get this, you have to pick a more exciting dress than what you’ve got.”

“It’s not too much but if it takes me getting that dress that makes my butt look good for you to buy that, I’ll do it,” Sara responds while walking over to the rack where she found the aforementioned dress.

With both dresses paid for, the friends left the shop and headed to Y/n’s apartment to pick up the things she needs to get ready at Sara’s.

“So, Let’s see what we’re getting ourselves into,” Sara started, looking at her datapad with photos of the crew while she walks.

“Sara, we’ve looked at these photos thousands of times. We know what they look like,” chuckles out Y/n, weaving their arm with hers.

“Yes, but that was different. Now we’re performing reconnaissance for the party tonight.”

“And what does your reconnaissance tell you?” Y/n glances at the pad.

“That Lieutenant Uhura is very attractive and only one rank above us.” Sara giggles as she reads Uhura’s personnel entry. “She’s also incredibly smart.”

“And very taken by Commander Spock,” Y/n points to the relationship status on file.

Sara deflates slightly before swiping through the next few personnel files. She stops on Commander Spock next.

“And this is the Vulcan you’ll be working under. Good luck with that, Y/n. I hear he’s rather cold.” Sara comments before continuing to swipe.

“He’s not that cold if he’s in a relationship. Also, isn’t he half human?” Y/n stops Sara before she walks into the busy street.

Sara ignores the potential harm she could have caused herself, and next stops on Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott, better known as Scotty.

“Cheif of Engineering. I hear he’s basically married to the ship,” Sara laughs and restarting to walk once the crosswalk is open.

“Next,” Y/n chuckles bad.

“Lieutenant Commander Leonard McCoy, Chief Medical Officer. I heard he has a cute accent but is a bit of a hardass. Remind me not to get hurt a lot.” Sara side-eyes Y/n while she talks.

“Good to know. Bet he knows how to make a good drink though.” Y/n speculates as they enter their apartment building.

“And Lastly, for the head of different groups, Captain James T. Kirk. Quite the looker.” Sara smirks to herself.

“And quite the flirt,” Y/n laughs at her friend as she unlocks her apartment. “I’ll be right over. I just need to pick up a few things.”

Living in the same building as your best friend had its perks. Getting ready for events was one of them. After picking up her makeup and a pair of heels that match her dress, Y/n walks over to Sara’s apartment and opens the door.

“Hey, why didn’t you wake me up this morning?” Y/n questioned, setting her makeup down next to Sara’s.

“Oh, I tried, you wouldn’t budge. I figured you’d make it eventually. And you did! So points for Sara.” She muses as she grabs two hard ciders from her fridge.

“I could have missed graduation!” Y/n fakes anger as she takes the cider from her dear friend.

Both get to work on their makeup and hair. Sara loosely curls her auburn hair, whereas Y/n does her hair in her favorite style. Once they were both ready, they left Sara’s apartment towards the location of the welcoming party, an old-style bar reminiscent of old San Francisco. The two stood in front of the main doors, peering into the windows, unsure if they should just walk in or not.

“Lieutenants! Very nice to see you two could make it.” A strong hand falls on Y/n’s shoulder, causing them and Sara to turn towards the voice to see a hand outstretched. “How about a proper introduction? I am Captain James T. Kirk. You’re welcome to just call me Kirk when we are off duty. And this is Commander Spock.”

Y/n takes Kirk’s hand to shake then trading with Sara to shake Spock’s. “I am Lieutenant Junior Grade Y/n Y/l/n. I just go by Y/n when off duty. And this is-”

“Lieutenant Junior Grade Sara Conners, Sir! It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Well, we should probably get inside and join the party, yes?” Kirk suggests, holding the door open for the other three.

The music playing was just above a comfortable volume, but quiet enough where you could hold a conversation without yelling. Sara and Y/s walk up to the bar to order drinks when a young man approaches them with a wide smile.

“Hello, I’m Pavel Ch-”

“Chekov. Navigation right?” Sara finishes for him, reaching out her arm. “Sara Conners. A pleasure to meet you!”

Pavel chuckles shaking Sara’s hand, “Did your research I see. And you are?” He finishes with a soft Russian accent, looking at Y/n.

“Y/n Y/l/n.” She says, shaking his hand. “Got any suggestions on what to order from here?”

“Well, the midtier brandy is spectacular here. But they do have a wonderful mint julep.” He states before waving over the bartender and ordering himself a brandy.

“We’ll take two mint juleps please.” Sara catches the bartender before he’s able to walk off.

“So, are you two in a relationship? You seem very close.” Pavel questions, sipping from his glass.

“No, just really close,” Sara answers, reaching for the newly arrived drinks and handing one to Y/n.

“Ah, cool,” Pavel beams. “Have you met the rest of the bridge crew yet? I can introduce you!”

Pavel leads Sara and Y/n to a table where Kirk and Spock were sat with two others.

“This is Nyota Uhura and Leonard McCoy. You’ve met the Captain and Spock already, yes?” Pavel introduces the crew with a bright smile. “Everyone, this is Y/n Y/l/n and Sara Conners.”

Hello’s and handshakes were exchanged. Pavel is pulled away by a few other ensigns towards what Y/n now notices a karaoke machine.

“So, Lieutenant Y/l/n, You will be working under me. Is there a particular area of study you wish to work on while abroad the USS Enterprise?” Spock questions.

“Oh, um yes. I’m looking specifically for new worlds with large deposits of Bio-mimetic Gel. It has many wonderful medical applications but very-” Y/n is cut off by Leonard.

“Regulated by the Federation. Do you have the proper paperwork and training to be handling such a hazardous material, young lady?” Leonard questions.

“Hey, we’re here to celebrate and have a good time, not to discuss work. Give the girl one more night of freedom.” Kirk interrupts and chuckles. “Also, call him Bones, he hates it.”

“I would love to answer your question, Lieutenant Commander McCoy. My last two years at the Academy majorly consisted of training and research with Bio-mimetic Gel under the supervision of Erika Biordi. My research has been in stabilizing the gel for transport and more widely used medical purposes. I have papers signed by President Kenneth Wescott and the proper containment materials that should already be aboard the Enterprise. This could be major for doctors all over the Federation. Also, I wouldn’t be able to do this work unless the Captain has approved it.” Y/n smiles thinly at the doctor.

Kirk, Spock, and Uhura all look impressed by the confidence in which Y/n spoke. Bones looks more apprehensive about the situation. Kirk broke the silence, “Y/n have you met Scotty yet?”

Y/n shakes her head no and notices Sara slinked off at some point to talk with Pavel more. Kirk leads Y/n towards the back corner to a table with three chairs. At the table sat a gentleman in a brown leather jacket and a Roylan both embroiled in a heated conversation about… power converters?

“No, Keenser, that will overload the Warp Drive, she won’t be able to take that kind of power without the proper energy suppressers.” A thick Scottish accent talks tensely between sips of whatever is in his glass.

“Can no one on my ship take a day off?” Kirk laughs, clapping his hand onto Montgomery’s shoulder.

“Ey, not when you have a potential explosion risk due to Keenser, Sir,” Montgomery responds.

“Well, I’ve got bad news then. I’d like to introduce you to Lieutenant Junior Grade Y/n Y/l/n. One of the newest graduates from Starfleet Academy. She will be studying Bio-mimetic Gel.” Kirk pulls the third chair out and motions to Y/n to sit. “She’s not getting along so great with Bones and thought you two might get along better.”

And with that Kirk walks away. The three are quiet, Y/n sipping on her mint julep that She’s about half done with.

“Sorry, I didn’t know I’d be interrupting a conversation. You can act like I’m not here.” Y/n said just loud enough to be heard over the sound of Sara and a couple of ensigns poorly singing Africa on stage.

“Why did you decide to study Bio-mimetic Gel?” The question from Montmonery surprised Y/n.

“Oh, um, when I was younger, Bio-mimetic Gel saved my mother’s life while out on a five-year mission. Her ship shouldn’t have even had any onboard, but they had just commandeered some from a smuggling vessel. If they hadn’t found that ship when they did and the doctor on board willing to take the risk, my mother would be dead and I would never have been born. So, when I heard they were wanting to do more research into it to potentially make it a commonly used substance by Federation doctors, I jumped at the chance. Sorry, that’s probably a lot more information than you were asking for.” Y/n found herself rambling.

The Cheif engineer just shook his head slightly, finishing off his drink. “No, I asked, Lass. I rarely get full explanations of why someone joined Starfleet. It’s refreshing. I’ll be right back, I’m going to get a refill. Can I get you anything?”

“Yeah, Sure. I’ll take one of whatever you’re getting. Thank you, Montgomery.”

“Please, call me Scotty.” He said, before walking off towards the bar.

Keenser and Y/n sat in more silence as they finished their drinks waiting for Scotty to return. Peering towards the bar, Y/n notices Scotty being stopped by some ensigns to chat.

“So, how long have you been on the enterprise?” Y/n asks Keenser.

Keenser babbles in his native tongue something along the lines of “not very long.”

Y/n nods in acknowledgment, “very cool. Do you like it?”

Keenser simply nods as Scotty returns, placing a glass in front of Y/n.

“Thank you, Scotty.” Y/n smiles at the man now sitting across from them.

“No problem, Lass. This will unfortunately be my last drink for the night. Going to head up to the Enterprise tonight to get a head start on some undocking prep. Coming with Keenser?” Keenser huffed in response, Finishing his drink and hopping down from his chair.

“Oh, okay. Have a goodnight then. Don’t overwork yourself. It’s supposed to be a night off.” Y/n waves goodbye to Scotty and Keenser.

Almost as soon as they leave, their spots are taken by Sara and Pavel.

“Y/n! You HAVE to get up there and sing!” Sara’s words slur as she waves her arm towards the small stage in the bar.

“Yes, you should take her advice, Lieutenant,” Pavel smiles towards Y/n.

“No, I’m perfectly fine here. And call me Y/n, Pavel. When do you want to go home, Sara?” Y/n looks with a soft smile towards her friend. She isn’t feeling the alcohol as intensely as Sara but she assumes that’s because she’s had significantly fewer drinks than her friend.

Sara looks at Y/n like they’ve just committed the most heinous crime. “What do you mean you don’t want to go up and sing. You have the most beautiful voice! And I bet your dress would look stunning under those lights.” Sara leans further into Y/n, head now resting her head on her shoulder, and whispers, “You can sing that old Earth song you like so much.”

Y/n chuckles at her friend while shaking her head. “You’re going to have to get a lot more alcohol into me before I’m willing to sing in front of the whole crew.”

Before Y/n could finish talking, Pavel was already up and at the bar, ordering a double round of shots. After a couple of minutes, he returns with a tray of purple shots. The trio cheers the first round to their health and quickly follows it with another to their safety aboard the ship. The trio continues to drink and after about an hour, Y/n is successfully sloshed. Sara convinced Y/n and Pavel to sing Sara’s favorite song that her grandmother loved called ‘Shut Up and Dance’. This was not a song to sing well, but more to just yell the word to. They even got a few of the old crewmates to sing along. Y/n was having a blast and finally thought she couldn’t wait to be working with these people. A group of nurses went on next and sang some modern rock anthem.

Y/n cut themself and Sara off after that song and convinced Sara to drink some water and eat some more food. Both slowly started to sober up, Pavel never seemed very drunk though. People begin to leave back to their homes or hotels for the night. It was starting to get late. Y/n shivers.

“Are you cold, Y/n?” Pavel asks.

“A bit, but I’ll be fine.” Y/n smiles at the kind man.

“Um,” Pavel looks around and spots something on the back of Sara’s chair and grabs it, “put this on.”

‘Scotty’s jacket? When did he take that off?’ Y/n wonders to herself as she slides the jacket on. ‘I’m sure her wouldn’t mind. I’ll just bring it to him on the ship tomorrow.’

“Y/nnnnn, come ooon. Barely anyone is left and I got you drunk like you said I had to. Go sing a solo song.” Sara nudges Y/n elbow towards the stage again.

“Fine, but I’m not happy about it!” Y/n laughs, walking onto the stage after the current song ends.

Sitting on a stool on stage, Y/n adjusts the mic to her sitting height. ‘Take Me To Church’ starts playing.

***

Scotty left earlier than he had planned. But talking with the new science officer made him feel odd and he didn’t want to be rude so he lied about needing to work on the ship. She’s much too young for him he thought. She has her whole life of research ahead of them. He couldn’t be with someone who dressed so elegantly, he was a bumbling fool and could never compare. She didn’t need him, some old Scotsman pinning for her. So instead, he and Keenser walked around the surrounding area until they got tired. About an hour had passed when Scotty realized something.

“Keenser, where’s my jacket?”

Keenser looks at Scotty and responds in his native tongue, “you left it at the bar.”

“Damnit, why didn’t you say anything?” He huffs out, turning around to walk back to the bar and get his Jacket.

He had walked further than he realized from the bar and took him about half an hour to return. As he entered the front doors, he watched Y/n walk onto the stage with his jacket on. Confused, he walks up to Kirk who now sat alone at the bar.

“Y/n said you went back to the ship,” Kirk prodded at the engineer.

“Yeah, but I noticed I forgot my jacket.” Scotty’s accent was unmissable.

“I noticed.” Kirk glances knowingly at Y/n who has started singing on stage.

Most people continued to talk but a few people stopped to listen to Y/n sing. Sara and Pavel sat at their table swaying dramatically to the song. Sara even started waving her arms slowly above her head, causing Y/n to chuckle as she sang. Scotty became enraptured in Y/n singing and began swaying lightly to her voice.

On the last line, “Good God, let me give you my life,” Y/n makes eye contact with Scotty, making her instantly blush.

Hopping off the stage, Y/n shuffles towards him while taking off his jacket.

“Sorry, Pavel found your jacket. I planned on giving it to you tomorrow on the ship but I got cold and put it on. Sorry.” Y/n talked fast, face beet red while shoving the jacket into Scotty’s arms and running back towards Sara before he could get a word out.

“Thanks,” Scotty whispers under his breath, looking down at his jacket.

He slides his arms into it, still warm from Y/n wearing it. Her song had entranced him. It wasn’t a song he was familiar with, must be old. He doesn’t usually care for music, but he thought he would listen to music for hours if she was the one singing it. Scotty shook his head free of those thoughts. By the time he came back to reality, Y/n was gone.

“What are you thinking about, Scotty?” Kirk prodded.

“Nothing, Sir. Goodnight” Scotty straightened out his back before leaving the bar and walking to his hotel room.

***

“Sara, it’s time to go,” Y/n spoke quickly

“What? But I’m still having fun.” Sara huffed.

“Yeah, and we both need to be up and on the transport shuttles at 0700. Let’s go, Rockstar. Goodnight, Pavel, we’ll see you tomorrow.” Y/n pulled Sara to her feet and waved goodbye to Pavel.

The cool, damp air was refreshing on Y/n’s skin. The walk wasn’t long to their apartments, which Y/n was thankful for. She helped Sara into her apartment and bed, setting their friend’s alarm with plenty of time to get ready before going to her apartment to do the same. Y/n quickly fell asleep with oddly invading thoughts of one Montgomery Scott.

#scotty x reader #montgomery scott x reader #montgomery scott imagine #montgomery scott aos #star trek aos #solarwindswriting

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boldlygo-boldlygoing-boldlygone · 4 years

Text

And We Do It All Again - Chapter 1

Summary: Jim has two big problems right now. The first is that he is hopelessly in love with his First Officer and his Chief Medical Officer, and neither seems to return his feelings. The second is that he's stuck in a time loop where his ship is destroyed and his crew killed, over and over again.

Things can never be simple for James T. Kirk, can they?

Warnings: angst, (temporary) character death, swearing, time loops, suicide attempt in a later chapter (again, it’s in a time loop so it doesn’t really work)

Pairing: McSpirk

Chapter 1 of 7

A/N: This can also be read here on AO3!

When Jim opened his eyes, a soft sigh fell from his lips. He'd been dreaming again. The same as usual- Bones and Spock, both by his side. Not as friends, not just as friends, but as so much more. Waking up alone was getting harder and harder. Jim rolled to his side, then closed his eyes. He hadn't bothered to clean up after his and Spock's chess match last night. The pieces were still scattered around the table and two glasses, one still half full, sat on the table. Spock had declined a drink, but Bones rarely turned down whiskey. It had been a nice evening. Quiet. Just the three of them. It had left him extraordinarily sad, however. Going to bed alone after such a peaceful evening felt cruel. If they'd have stayed, it would have been perfect.

Of course, for that, they'd have to return his feelings. Which they didn't.

Jim sighed again and scrubbed at his face, then threw his legs off the bed and shuffled to the bathroom. Once he was properly cleaned for the day, he dressed. He headed for the mess hall, smile rising without thought when he saw Spock seated alone, eating while reading from his PADD. Jim grabbed his own meal, then plopped down across from him.

"Good morning, captain." Spock greeted, setting his PADD aside.

"Morning, Mr. Spock." Jim smiled at his first officer.

"Our match last night was quite riveting. Your skill is improving."

"You mad that I beat you?" Jim teased. "We can always do a rematch tonight."

"That would be most pleasant." Spock agreed. "Will Dr. McCoy be joining us?"

Jim's heart skipped at the thought of being alone with both of them so soon. "I bet he will. I can ask him- now actually."

"Ask me what?" Bones asked, sitting beside Jim and eyeing the two of them.

"Spock and I are gonna have a rematch. You comin?"

"Depends. Will there be whiskey?"

Jim's chest hurt and his smile deflated. He'd used the last of it the previous night. "Not this time."

Bones shrugged and started eating. "Eh, why not. Should probably drink less anyway."

Jim felt his grin return. "Great! Meet in my cabin around 2300?"

"Affirmative."

"I can do that."

"Perfect. Now, Mr. Spock, we should head to the bridge."

"Correct, captain." Spock stood, nodding to Bones. "Until tonight, Leonard."

"Bye, Bones!" Bones waved them off, rolling his eyes as Jim lead the way to the turbolift.

"I must admit, I do find the recreational time spent with you and Dr. McCoy quite enjoyable." Spock commented as they rode it to the bridge.

"Aw, you're really turning into a sap on me, aren't you, Spock?"

Spock quirked an eyebrow at him, a small smirk on his lips. He stepped onto the deck without a word.

"Captain on the bridge!"

"Status report, Mr. Sulu?" Jim called, eyes following Spock to his seat. Damn those sharp Vulcan features. Damn his firm ass. Damn him.

"Starfleet sent us new orders this morning. There's a planet in our sector they want us to check out."

"Set the course. How long?"

"Only a few hours. We should reach it before the end of Alpha shift."

"Good." Jim leaned back and watched his crew buzz around him. He allowed himself to get lost in it all, filling out reports and other paperwork, sneaking the occasional glance at Spock or around the deck. It was a peaceful shift.

Until it wasn't.

"Sir, there's an unidentified ship approaching."

Jim frowned as Sulu called out the notification. "Hail them."

"Yes, sir." There was a pause, a moment where Sulu did as he was told. "They're not responding, sir." The frown deepened.

"Try again. And-" His order was cut off as the entire ship shook, an explosion dangerously close.

"We've been hit, captain! Damage to engine one!"

"Shields up, Sulu!" Jim shifted forward, hands clutching the armrest. "Arm the phasers and-" Screams cut him off as they were hit again, then again.

"Shields at twenty percent!"

"Fire back!"

Jim barked, eyes glued to the ship looming, unaffected, as they returned fired. "It didn't even dent their shields!" Sulu called.

Jim swore. "Can you get us out of here, Mr. Sulu?"

"Yes, sir. I just need to-" Sulu was stopped as the ship was hit again.

"Shields at ten percent!" Chekov called.

"Damn it! Sulu, get us out of here!"

"Sir, they destroyed one of our engines, I can't warp!"

Jim swore loudly. If there was a way out of this one, he couldn't see it. Right now, the best he could do now was save his crew. "Evacuate the ship! Everyone to the pods!" He ordered, hitting the alarm as he stood. Immediately, the bridge crew hurried out, red light flooding the darkening room. Sulu did not move.

"Mr. Sulu, that's an order!"

"The autopilot is down, sir."

"Yeah, well we're not going anywhere anyway." Jim grabbed his arm and yanked the pilot from his chair. "You're not dying today, Mr. Sulu." Jim snatched the photo of Demora off the console and shoved it into Sulu's hands. The pilot's eyes widened. "Get to your pod, now!"

"Yes, sir." Sulu nodded sharply and sprinted away, his daughter's photo clutched in his hands.

"Captain-"

"Come on, Spock, we have to go." Jim said, turning to his First Officer. Spock walked towards him, but another hit had him stumbling into Jim. The captain caught him and hauled him back to his feet. "Go on. I'm getting Bones and then I'll be right behind you."

"Doctor McCoy would not want-"

"I don't care." Jim was already running, well aware of Spock right on his heels. "Get out of here, Spock!"

"Negative. I will not leave you, captain."

"Damn your loyalty, Spock." Jim shook his head, but didn't argue as Spock caught up and ran beside him. Truth be told, he was always glad to have Spock by his side. Around them, crew members were frantic as they rushed to the escape pods, panic and fear overtaking the ship as each new hit shook the vessel. Jim could feel her coming apart.

His heart broke.

Right now, however, he was focused on getting to sickbay and dragging Bones out of there.

They practically fell inside as another blast struck the ship. Jim swore again. He could feel it; the shields were gone. "Bones!"

"Jim, what the hell are you doing here?" Bones snapped, eyes only briefly going to the captain as he helped Nurse Chapel drag a patient from their bed.

"Getting you out. Your patients are all cleared, come on."

"Yeah, yeah, okay." Bones glanced at Chapel again, but she was clearly fine. "Let's go."

"Good. Come on, I-" Jim was cut off as the world around him exploded. He gasped as he was thrown back, landing in Bones' office. "Bones! Spock!" The world spun as he fought to open his eyes, to understand. What he saw sent a bolt of ice cold horror down his spine.

Spock was clinging to the broken remains of a wall, Bones' hand clutched in his. Beds and equipment flew out the opening.

Time seemed to slow as Spock tried to pull Bones to him, his face growing greener with each passing moment. Bones had already gone blue. "No!" Jim screamed, watching in horror as Spock's eyes rolled back and he lost his grip. "NO!" Around him, the air buzzed and he knew before it happened.

The world exploded into pain and horror and despair as the ship fired again.

And then it went black.

. . .

Jim woke gasping.

#star trek #jim kirk #spock #leonard mccoy #mcspirk #star trek tos #star trek aos #fanfiction #my stories #mine #and we do it all again

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lilydalexf · 4 years

Photo

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with MaybeAmanda

MaybeAmanda has been a longtime participant in X-files fandom. She has 29 stories at Gossamer, the earliest being archived there in 1998 and the latest in 2012. I've recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including "Malus Genus" and "Snow in Alabama." Big thanks to MaybeAmanda for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

It does, in a way. The feedback I get nowadays is either of the "I read this like 20 years ago and I just read it again" variety or the "I was too young back in the day but I have been watching the show in reruns/on XYZ streaming service/on the full-series of DVDs I got for $3 from the thrift store and I was THRILLED to discover fanfiction was being written even in the Dark Ages!" So it's a bit of a surprise, but it's a pleasant one. I answer every mail/comment because my mama raised me right!

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

It was great. It was fun. It was educational. It was a godsend. Even with the occasional bouts of back-stabbing and flame-throwing, it was mainly a welcoming, inclusive place to be. I made so many online friends who have turned into meat-friends (do they still call them that? Probably not). During the first run of the show I had small children and we had relocated for my husband's job. I had very little social life, but the fandom gave me a chance to meet and connect with people who liked what I liked. Then I discovered online fanfic, and it was even better!

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

ATXC I think. A lot of email lists - 5 or 6 or 7 or so over the years. Gossamer, of course, Ephemeral when that came into being. Haven discussion boards. My own websites.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

More than anything? I am a fangirl.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I have always been partial to sci-fi and speculative fiction, but it rarely makes it to the screen - large or small - without being trite, clichéd, or just plain bad. It's easy to forget that The X-Files was groundbreaking - smart, scary, funny, insightful, intriguing, complex plots, on-going mythology. It looked great. It sounded great. David Duchovny was pleasant to look at, too, and damn! Gillian Anderson is/was one hell of an actress.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I found XF fanfic - somehow - probably by accident, or by way of a recommendation - and it blew my mind. I had written fanfic (of a sort) with my friends in highschool, so I was familiar with the beast, but to find what amounted to excellent story after excellent story for free within (relatively) easy reach (because dial-up, right?) written by people who, for the most part, were thrilled you read their story and were happy to talk to you about it, about writing in general, about your shared obsession - that was amazing. As I am sitting here typing this I am feeling that thrill again - discovering Karen Rasch, Madeliene Partous, Paula Graves [Lilydale note: AKA Anne Haynes], Sheryl Martin and all the other early BNFs was, well, the only word is exciting. I felt like I was a member of a secret society and that I was sitting at the popular kids lunch table, all at once. (Don't forget, in the early days, shippers were considered delusional outliers - seriously!)

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Good? It's not as lively a place as it once was, but I haven't renounced my citizenship or anything. If I get a rec, I check it out. I know there are those who like to pretend they never had anything to do with the fandom, but why? I am still a proud XPhile.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Angel (a teeny tiny bit) while XF was still running, but those fans were - I don't know the word. Hardcore does not begin to do it justice. I wrote two short pieces at a friend's request then backed away slowly. Sherlock (a bit) - it is/was very LJ centred and that made it hard to find things. A lot of it moved to tumblr which made it harder, then to twitter, which - no. I was involved in one of the less fashionable facets of the Sherlock fandom, so I was really a fringe-dweller there, too. It seemed clique-ier than XF, and they all seemed so young, and they all knew EVERYTHING about everything, and every damned thing was political, and, and, and... GET OFF MY LAWN!

But maybe I am remembering the XF fandom wrong. ;)

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Like, all fiction? Mulder and Scully for sure. Arthur Dent. Sherlock Holmes in most of his incarnations. Spock. Winnie the Pooh. Why do I like them? They speak to me, I guess.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I haven't watched an episode in probably two years (back when it was on regular tv). Yeah, I think about them surprisingly often. Story ideas, weirdly.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic?

I finished re-reading The Iolokus Series a couple of weeks back, so yes. It's excellent comfort reading.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Lots! But as far as authors go, I hate playing favourites. I will miss someone I shouldn't and feel like crap. The Iolokus Series by MustangSally and Rivka T. is probably my all-time favourite fic because it's so very well-written, and so very fucked-up. Kipler's Strangers and the Strange Dead is also terrifically well-written and clever. For complex, interesting case files, you can’t beat syntax6 - pick any of them.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Oh geez. Seriously? I wrote a lot of collaborations and I love them - and my co-authors - all! Stuff I wrote on my own: Anniversary Waltz (first XF fic I wrote so it's sentimental.) Or Blue Patches. Or Epiphany. Or The Gifts of the Magi (On a Kaiser Roll). Or 221XF. Gonna stop now.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story?

Every time I thought I wouldn't, I did. I would never say never.

Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Nothing finished ever went un-posted. All the unfinished stuff remains unfinished.

Do you still write fic now?

Haven't for a while, but it's not as if I have said "I SHALL NEVER WRITE FANFIC AGAIN!" I just have nothing in the works at this moment.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

With fic, it's usually from canon - some question unanswered, some road unexplored, some "what if?" that needs iffing. With "original" fiction, damned if I know. A snippet of overheard conversation, an interesting photo, something a random story generator spit out at me. Sometimes things just click.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Okay so...many years ago I was on a (smallish) fic list with a friend. There was a challenge posted - a bad fic challenge. We knew we could write some truly bad fic if we really tried. One of the rules of the challenge was to post under an assumed name so no one would know who they were voting for. Well, my friend and I wrote something truly, painfully horrid and we were very proud of its ghastliness, so were brainstorming possible pseudonyms. She hated everything but had no real suggestions of her own. I knew that she was a bit of a Trekkie (like me) and I said - What about Amanda Greyson and Joanna McCoy? And she said - What?? Huh?? Why?? And I said - Spock's mother and McCoy's daughter and she replied, "Maybe Amanda is Spock's mother but on Star Trek there is not a Joanna." By this point, I was SO DONE, and I became MaybeAmanda and she became NotJoanna. Really.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

It took years for me to admit it, but yeah, they know. They didn't entirely get it. The reactions I most often got were:

"Ew! You write stuff without being forced?? Ew!!"

or:

"Is it smut? I bet it's just smut. You write smut, don't you? Pure filth, right? I can't believe you are wasting your time writing pornography! That's disgusting! You sicken me! Um, can I read some of it?"

And of course:

"If you are going to write anyway, why don't you get published and become fabulously wealthy?"

which is really two questions, neither of which is easily answerable.

Anyone who tracked my work down (because I told them I wrote, but not my pseudonym) usually said something like, "Hey! You're an okay/passable/decent writer! Why don't you get published and become fabulously wealthy?"

Yeah.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Same old email (maybe_a@rocketmail_dot_com). Gossamer, my site, my LJ and probably some other places. I can't lie - it's a bit scattered.

(Posted by Lilydale on August 4, 2020)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #maybeamanda #xf fanfic author interviews

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ashsblurbs · 4 years

Text

Young love

*Not my Gifs* This fic mentions abuse briefly and Steve’s father is homophobic. I do not us derogatory language in my stories and I don’t plan on starting now. I hope yall enjoy

Steve stood by his locker, staring at the gorgeous Tony Stark. Tony was someone that everyone wanted to know, and Steve wanted to know him so badly. He knew how to light a room up when he entered it. At the same time, he was very quiet. Only had his three friends with him and would always find a quiet corner to study new innovations. Steve kept looking forward at him and dreamed that one day Tony would see him.

Tony turned and saw Steve was looking at him. Tony’s heartbeat faster not knowing what to do. He smiled and gave a little wave. Maybe today was the day he would talk to the football star of the school. The funny thing was Steve was the talk of the town, but no one knew anything about him. He kept to himself. He didn’t have any friends at school and often would eat lunch in the art room. Tony was very curious about him but every time he tried to get close to him, Steve would always disappear.

Tony made his way over to Steve. Today was the day he was going to get Steve to talk to him.

Steve watched as Tony made his way over to him. So, beautiful with dark amber eyes and kissable lips. He sucked in a breath, slammed his locker, and ran away before Tony could get close. Why was he so scared of talking to him? Maybe because he was scared that the guy he really liked and could see himself love one day wouldn’t have the same feeling back. It was easier to run than to face his fears of rejection.

Tony stopped halfway to where he was going. He watched as Steve ran off without even a single word was spoken between them. What is with Steve Rogers? Tony huffed; he was going to have to trap Steve somewhere to talk to him. Tony really liked him and would love to get to know him better but that would be impossible if Steve kept avoiding him. He felt a clap on his back, and he turned around to see his best friend Rhodey.

“No luck.” Tony shook his head no.

“Every time. Poof, he’s gone. What am I supposed to do if he won’t stay around long enough for me to say anything?” Rhodey shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t know what to do to help his friend. All the people he ever liked was willing to talk to him and not run away.

“Well, I know that he has second lunch. Sneak out of calculus and ambush him there. He would have no other choice but to stay there and talk to you.” Tony nodded his head in agreement thinking that it was the best idea he had heard in a very long time.

Steve sat his lunch down in the back corner and pulled out some paper to sketch. This was the only place he felt like he could be himself instead of someone’s perspective of him. He heard the whispers about him but here he was able to shut out all of the noise and just draw. Sometimes he would draw his feelings, other memories that he wanted to hold on to. On special days he would draw Tony. Today seemed like one of those special days.

“Hey what are you drawing?” Steve jumped back by the sudden intrusion. He looked up and say it was Tony. He took his drawing and crumpled up in a ball and shoved it into his backpack. He could never let Tony see that. It would most likely freak him out.

“Nothing just doodles.” He started to gather his stuff to leave but Tony came and laid a hand on top of his stopping him from leaving. His breathing quickened. Tony was so close to him that if he leaned a little closer, he could touch Tony’s lips.

“Would it be okay if I hung out here with you? I brought snacks?” Tony held up a brown paper bag and gave him a smile. Steve sat back down and shook his head slightly yes. Tony pulled up a seat and sat across from him. They sat in a comfortable silence. Tony pulled out a journal of his finishing a sketch of one of his new inventions. Steve pulled out his own sketched pad and started sketching the window behind Tony.

“You’re a really quiet dude.” Steve paused and put down his pencil to look up at Tony.

“Yeah, I like to keep to myself. It’s easier that way.” Tony was taken back. On the surface Steve’s life looked amazing but Tony knew that wasn’t always true. If people could see the bruises on his ribs and back from his father their delusions of the Stark family would be shattered.

“I understand.” Steve analyzed hin to see if Tony was pitying him, but he could see that somehow, he sadly did understand. “Dad abuses me.” Tony lifted his shirt up to reveal more bruises then Steve could count. He swallowed the lump that was now in his throat so as not to cry. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around the man he loved and tell him that he would never let anyone ever do that again. Tony put his shirt back down and shrugged his shoulders like it didn’t bother him and that shattered Steve’s heart.

“Your turn.”

“My father is an ass too. Found out I was gay one night and took the cigar he was smoking and burned the tip of it on several spots on my shoulder. Said that I was a disgrace to the family. Punched me in the jaw and said the only reason he wasn’t kicking me out was that I was most likely was going to get a football scholarship to Notre Dame and that would make our family look good.” Steve gritted his teeth and pierced his lips into an angry smile. Shiver ran down Tony’s body. Howard was a cruel man and Tony didn’t know what would happen to him if his father knew he was bisexual. Tony could picture his own grave. Tears welled up in his eyes and he turned away to wipe them away fast.

“Can we be friends?” Steve shook his head yes. For the rest of the lunch period, they sat in silence trying to understand what they just told each other. Steve wished he wasn’t so afraid to talk to Tony before because it was nice to have someone that understood what he was going through.

Everyday then on they met each other in the art room. They would share stories back and forth. Some would make them laugh so hard that they would get in trouble by the next-door teacher for being too loud. Other times they would tell sad stories that would lead to them holding each other while the other would cry. They really found a best friend in each other. Either one of them couldn’t imagine what life was like before they truly met one another.

“You’re trying to tell me that Star Trek is better than Star Wars.” Tony rolled his eyes.

“Yes, especially the newer ones. Star Wars is so overrated.” Tony scoffed and through his wrapper at him which Steve dodged.

“You know what you are overrated.” Steve scoffed and showed Tony his photo of him with Spock ears. Tony made a fake offended face and turned away from Steve.

“You’re so dramatic. Hey, you’re still coming to my game tonight. I would love it if you came to watch.” Tony wouldn’t miss it for the world, and it would give him a chance for him to look at Steve’s butt in his football pants.

The stadium was packed for senior night. Tony sat next to Rhodey which was mad he was dragged to this game. He told Tony he didn’t want to come to his stupid boyfriend’s game in which Tony insisted that him and Steve were just friend. Rhodey knew better.

“Number twenty-nine. Steven Grant Rogers who is being escorted by his mother, Sarah Rogers, and father, Joseph Rogers. He would continue his football career at Notre Dame where he will study law.” Tony jumped up and screamed for Steve. Steve looked up with a smile. He waved which made his father squint his eyes at his son and his son’s friend.

Once the game was over, Tony ran down to the locker rooms to congratulate Steve for the win. He also thought that this would be the night he told Steve about his feelings. He didn’t want to go another day without being able to say Steve was his. To be able to kiss him and have his arms wrapped around him. He knew if they did take the next step it would be a secret for the sake of both of their lives.

Tony waited and waited, watching as each player walked in but there was no sign of Steve. He was getting worried.

“Stop it, Dad, he is just a friend. Why can’t we just be happy that we win and not have to talk about Tony.” Steve and his father were standing behind a tree away from other’s eyes. His father gripped his arm and pulled him in real close. He had a scowl on his face and his eyes were really dark. Any other night he would be afraid but not tonight. Not when his father was not only attacking him but also Tony.

“He better be just a friend. I’ve heard the rumors around town he was a fairy and I don’t want that rubbing off on my son.” Rage boiled through Steve’s veins.

“I was one, way before I met Tony.” His father pulled back and laid a hard punch to his right eye which would most likely would cause a black eye. His father pushed him down on the ground and spat on him.

“Don’t think about coming home tonight. You know what Sunday come and get your shit. You will never be welcomed back until you grow out of this because no son of mine will be a gay.” His father turned and left leaving Steve feeling angry but at the same time hollow.

Tony was about to be on his way to find Steve when he saw him coming. He ran towards him until he saw the way he looked. Tony slowed down to take in what he was seeing. He stopped in front of him placing a hand to Steve’s eye.

“Who did this?” Steve closed his eyes and brushed past him towards the locker rooms. Tony caught his hand and pulled him back towards him. “Talk to me.”

“Can we just go somewhere just the two of us? No questions. We can just be us for a while.” Tony nodded and let go of Steve’s hand allowing him to go change. Tony didn’t have to ask any questions because already knew all of the answers.

They drove and drove. Not a single word came from either of them. The only sound was the static from the radio. Steve finally parked on top of white creek mountain. In a flash, Steve was in Tony’s arms shaking and crying. Tony rubbed his hand up down his back trying to comfort him.

“It’s okay, just let it all out. Take your time.” Steve pulled back and there was a pause between them. They stared at each other taking in each other’s features. Tony’s chest tightened. All he wanted to do was kiss Steve. He wanted to take all of his pain away. In a moment Steve grabbed hold of his face and pulled him in close kissing him hard. Tony wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck pulling him closer, so they were now chest to chest. They kept kissing each one of them running out of air but wasn’t willing to pull apart. It was like both of their pain was being melted away and being replaced by love.

Steve was the first one to pull away leaving Tony dizzy and missing his touch. Steve turned away, not in shame but more to collect himself. He knew what he was going to do next would ruin so many things but at the same time, he had nothing to lose.

“Tony, I love you. I’ve loved you ever since you walked into the art room and brighten my world up. You make my life better by just being here. I want you to be in my life.” Tony bit his lip not to cry. Everything he wanted to hear he was hearing.

“I love you too, Steve. It doesn’t make any sense, but you make me feel whole. You know I am here for you. I will protect you with my last breath.” Steve pulled him back in for a kiss. He wrapped his arms around him. Steve laid his head on Tony’s shoulder looking at the night sky.

“My dad did this. My dad also kicked me out, so I have nowhere to go.” Tony planted a kiss to the top of Steve’s head.

“You can stay with me.” Steve shook his head.

“I can’t do that Tony. What about your dad?” Tony shushed him.

“Don’t worry about a thing.”

For months Steve and Tony dated in secret. Steve moved in with Tony and thankfully his dad only was home about five days out of the year, so they were able to be themselves when they were at home. Jarvis loved Steve and treated him like he was his own son. Steve hadn’t seen his parents again after he went and picked up his things which was for the best. He had nothing really to say to his father anyway. For the first time, he was happy. He was just scared that the secret he was keeping from Tony would break Tony. He never wanted to hurt him. Steve came knocked onto Tony’s door.

“Come in. Steve you know you don’t have to knock.” Tony looked at Steve with a curious expression. Tony was finishing up some of his homework from MIT. He decided to start in May instead of August because he knew he would be bored while Steve was away during football training. Tony could see there was a worried look on Steve’s face and he did not like it.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Steve walked over and sat next to Tony on the bed. He picked up both of his hands and laid a kiss on both. Steve handed him his letterman’s jacket. Tony took it but still didn’t know what was happening.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this sooner but I’m not going to college.”

“What! Is it the money because I can pay for it?” Steve shook his head no.

“No, football, Notre Dame, that was all my dad’s dream. I’ve decided to enlist in the military. I’m beginning basic training next week, and I will be leaving for my first tour in August.” Tony was taken back. He wasn’t mad that Steve decided to leave for the military he just wished Steve had told him sooner.

“What does that mean for us?” Steve knew what he had to do even if it would break his heart.

“I’m going to be gone for four years. I couldn't ask you to wait for me till I get back.”

“Yes, you can because I will.” Steve shook his head.

“No, Tony, I won’t allow it. We’re only eighteen. Go live your life.” Tony looked away not wanting to meet Steve’s eyes.

“What are you saying Steve?” Steve swallowed his tears and gathered all of his strength he could.

“We have to break up.” Steve stood up leaving Tony shaking with tears rolling down his face. Tony pulled his jacket close to his chest. This was all he had of Steve. Steve closed the door behind him, fell to the ground. He cried until not a single tear was left and he stood up to go pack his things.

Steve stood in line as he looked around at all of the other soldiers saying goodbye to their loved ones and he was alone. Then the crowd parted, and he saw Tony wrapped in his jacket. Steve and Tony met each other halfway with tears in their eyes. They stared at each other in silence taking in each other like they always did once again. Tony moved first and placed a final kiss on Steve’s lips.

“I’m going to miss you. Please don’t die.”

“I will miss you too and I will come back. Now go live your life. For me.” Steve turned around and disappeared in the crowd leaving Tony alone. How was he supposed to live a life when he no longer had the one person he wanted to live a life with, in his life.

#stony #stevetony #young Tony Stark #young steve rogers #SUPERHUSBANDS #ash's blurbs

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