#springmun

[myname-is-springtrap]

I will never not be bothered by the fact that I got Elizabeth’s design and name correct before they were revealed... Every so often I remember...

[myname-is-springtrap]

Why do people feel the need to harass, bully, and ruin the fun for people who like villains?

William Afton/Springtrap is my comfort character. I use him to deal with my various mental issues. He makes things easier for me.

Yet I see things almost every single day like “William fans have no rights,�� “William fans have no braincells,” etc. and when he’s submitted to something that spreads positivity for a character people actually tell the poster that it’s not okay. Because some people don’t like William, all us fans of him just don’t get to have any fun, I guess. Also, those blogs get unnecessarily flooded with messages and possibly even harassment and that’s seriously not okay. I’ve seen people admitting to bullying a William fan and being proud of it.

You should never be proud of abuse.

It’s why I’m not doing anything here anymore. Tumblr was my escape from bullies, but bullies have found their way onto my dash, and so many that I had to remake my account and start over so I wouldn’t be seeing that stuff. It’s distressing for me to see so much hate toward the character that helps me with my depression, the character that I use to push myself to actually do the basic things that are so damn hard to do for me.

But I’m not going to tell people to stop saying that they hate William. I’m responsible for my online experience, not them. I remade, I blocked people who take pride in insulting people like me so they won’t get the chance to target me, don’t follow people who actively hate on William every chance they get, and I’m happy over there. I surrounded myself with the content that I want to see, and I haven’t seen a single bit of hatred on my dash.

If you don’t want to see something, don’t look at it. Don’t ruin the fun for people who do. It isn’t hurting a thing. You can hate a character all you want, but when it spreads to the fans of that character, that’s bad. That targets real people. That’s bullying, and it does hurt people, even if it’s not directed at a specific person. I’m a perfect example of this, because even though I haven’t been targeted, those general posts have distressed me so much that I’ve broken down crying randomly and I’ve experienced a spike in depression that contributed to my needing meds again. That’s not the only reason for these things, but it is partially, and it’s a hell of a lot harder to deal with things when you feel guilty comforting yourself as well. I’m doing better now since I moved blogs. I will never understand why people think it’s okay to hurt a group of people just because they disagree with them.

It shouldn’t be such an unpopular opinion, but stop bullying people, because it’s not okay.

[myname-is-springtrap]

I have seen Five Nights at Freddy’s. I have waited for Five Nights at Freddy’s. I have played Five Nights at Freddy’s. I have beaten Five Nights at Freddy’s. I have watched Five Nights at Freddy’s. I have role played Five Nights at Freddy’s. I have spent money on Five Nights at Freddy’s. I have read Five Nights at Freddy’s. I have worn Five Nights at Freddy’s. I have displayed Five Nights at Freddy’s. I have heard Five Nights at Freddy’s. I have drawn Five Nights at Freddy’s. I have animated Five Nights at Freddy’s. I have eaten Five Nights at Freddy’s.

What can I say? I love Five Nights at Freddy’s.

[myname-is-springtrap]

🤔

[myname-is-springtrap]

I’m so tired of my Audio Service just stopping every once and a while. This time it claims I have no Audio Output Device installed.

I just want to listen to men screaming at ghosts. I’m already so tired because of... everything, honestly, at this point. I don’t need this too.

[myname-is-springtrap]

Vague time

wow they’re amazing,,,, i feel so lucky when I speak to them,,,,,,, what a great person,,,,, they’re so nice,,,

[myname-is-springtrap]

I’ve moved a sideblog I wish to keep to my other account. The move is slowly and still not exactly surely happening.

I still don’t want to leave, but I don’t feel safe here either. I’m so attached to what I’ve accomplished, but I want to be able to like what I like and witnessing certain behaviors has made me afraid to do that here. I’m still not sure what to do, but moving entirely is an option I’m considering. After all, I have zero drive to create anything relating to this blog at the moment.

At least I got my antidepressants today. I hope they help, because it’s hard to enjoy much right now.

[myname-is-springtrap]

Ah yes, nothing like finding a recently purchased case of pen nibs in a box of clothes I haven’t touched in months. Near the bottom too. Boy do I love it when lost items turn up in literally impossible locations.

[myname-is-springtrap]

Have you really wanted to look something up but you can’t figure out how to describe it and you’re just like

[myname-is-springtrap]

Who turned up the saturation on this hellsite?

[myname-is-springtrap]

Dear Springtrap

Why head so difficult to draw you face so cute so handsome but soooo diffcult to dwaw why i love you so much but why what it doing it defy logic nd reason

Seriously though, Springtrap’s head is about as hard to draw as hands for me. I love him too much to give up though...

[myname-is-springtrap]

By the way

I haven’t been posting art here or on my connected blogs because some people made me greatly fear harassment. To be clear: no one did anything to me, but the type of treatment I’ve seen people giving to others has terrified me. Even directly before writing this I saw some form of it.

Meanwhile, I’ve been drawing like mad, producing at a rate much higher than normal for myself, several drawings in a day, and I’m still motivated even now. I’m just not posting it here. I am posting it, just not here. I’ve been constructing an experimental safe bubble for myself, and that’s where I am right now.

There, I’m posting whatever I want to. I’m making it clear over there what kind of thing I’ll be drawing and exploring right from the start. While it may have some cute things, I expect it to be a lot less cute than this one and most likely darker.

Surprisingly, I’ve been getting about the same amount of notes on my new blog with 2 followers as I’ve been getting on this one with 767. Hopefully some of the people liking it will decide to stick around.

I think I’ll tell you to expect at least a hiatus. I’ll still be online here, just not posting.

[myname-is-springtrap]

Very bright colors under the cut if anyone wants to see how eye destroying this part of my dash looks.

[myname-is-springtrap]

I was finally healing from my trauma. I was finally accepting that I'm a good person despite what I went through. Now I find out I'm evil, disgusting, and deserve nothing because I like horror... I was raised with horror, it's a big part of who I am, and it makes me an awful person because I like the wrong characters?... The characters that helped me see that I wasn't the only one going through things, the characters that likely helped me identify that I was being abused all on my own as a child, the characters that helped me and gave me an excuse to get away from that abusive situation, the characters that helped me get through mental breakdowns, the characters who were there for me when no one else was... Without them, I would have been hurt so much more, I would be so alone, and I would have had nothing and no one to get me through those bad times... I've been trying for years to be a sweetheart, a good and friendly person... I've worked hard to get rid of the bad things I learned, but it doesn't matter. I'm terrible no matter what I do. I find almost no joy in anything I do right now because of this, because if I draw any of the things I've thought of in the past few days, I'd be harassed for them. I'd be called an abuser, that I condone things I'm terrified of. I cried myself to sleep last night because I had nothing to comfort me, because I felt too guilty to use my favorite characters as calming thoughts. I haven't been eating much. I weigh 95 pounds now. I'm too stressed out and depressed to be hungry, I guess.

[myname-is-springtrap]

My grandmother and I were just talking about Springtrap and she called William a parasite.

William got roasted by my grandmother.

[myname-is-springtrap]

Don’t reblog.

Tumblr has actually made me afraid to have opinions because no matter what opinion you have, you’re a horrible person for having it.

I often try to find a middle ground between opinions I’ll never voice just because I’m scared of being attacked or viewed horribly by either side if I ever did say something about it.

I’m just barely an adult. An adult that keeps finding out that I’m doing even basic care wrong. I was isolated from everyone at a young age because I was “creepy” and “weird,” and I have a social disorder. I have no idea what’s right or wrong sometimes, and with my overly trusting nature that tries to listen to everyone, it’s incredibly difficult here... I’m often terrified of being cast out and harassed like I used to be.

So many times I’ve been punished and no one would tell me what I did wrong. If any of you notice me doing or saying something I shouldn’t be, I likely have no idea it’s bad. Please, kindly point it out to me and say why to help me understand. I try to be polite and nice to everyone regardless of who they are because it hurts me to hurt people (hell, it hurts me to hurt inanimate objects), so I won’t snap at you for it. I try to unlearn problematic things, but I need to know what they are first. I’m not afraid to apologize if I’ve done something wrong. I’m not asking everyone to not be upset if I do mess up, just to be gentle and point it out so I know it’s bad and why so I can actually learn from my mistakes. I’m still trying to and I think I’m doing okay, but I worry. I’ve had to deal with a lot of harsh treatment, bad people, and manipulation, and I don’t want to pass any of those things on.