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sneezeshame · 11 months

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someone laid up in a large, overstuffed lay-z-boy recliner, head rested on pillows and body wrapped in blankets pulled from their bed to make them more comfortable as they start to battle some kind of monstrous cold. it hit them like a truck just the day before, and now their bagged, heavy-lidded eyes are glazed as they stare blankly at the TV, breathing through their constantly parted chapped lips. they've crammed tissues up their flaming red nostrils in an attempt to just lie motionless for a while without having to tend to their stuffy, streaming nose, but every so often their breathing becomes heavier and their eyes wince closed as they hitch, pulling out their nose plugs and readying a thick wad of tissues from a box they've been pulling from for the past day. their sneezes are heavy, thick, and wet, and end with a flurry of sickly sniffling and a long, tentative nose blow, followed by a round of chesty coughs and a soft, stuffy groan from their parted lips.

they're very pale, they clearly dont want to do anything or even talk much at all, and they shiver under the blankets and ask their partner for an ice pack for the splitting headache they've developed. the expired cold medicine from the cabinet doesnt seem to make a dent, and when it comes for another round of nyquil their partner clocks their temperature at 101, creeping up towards 102. the sickie was wrong, and it isn't just a cold (as was obvious to their partner, who's never seen a cold this bad); in fact they're actually on day 1 or 2 of the flu, and a bad case of it. they're going to be spending the next 4-6 days slowly shuffling between their bed and the couch and recliner as their partner takes the guest bedroom, and it's going to get worse before it gets better.

the sickie takes this news better than anticipated, now feeling too sick to argue, and only sniffles miserably and says okay, then asks for something for the newly-sprung aches and pains all over their body.

"I think you're past the asprin we have," their partner says. "I might have to run out and get something a bit stronger for this."

"...Ogay..." the sickie mumbles, and sniffles. the first pricklings of chills are running up and down their body under their pajamas. "...cobe bagg sood...I dodd feel good add all..."

their partner leaves, and the sickie resumes staring blankly at the TV while they sniffle and cough, and their eyelids droop. they hadn't felt this sick in years, and while their partner had gotten their flu shot, they hadn't bothered. they had the feeling they would need to retreat to bed for a bit once their partner returned, just so they could lay motionless in the dark for a bit with their eyes closed and an icepack on their head, but they also didn't want to lose any warmth they had trapped in their sick nest in the lay-z-boy, or aggravate any aches more than they had to; maybe they would just stay put. but they would have to lay down in bed for the night.

the night was going to be rough, and they already feel horrible. they feel ten times worse than they had yesterday. they feel bad for having their partner do things for them. they feel miserable, like they're teeming with viruses, and they feel like their body is slowly melting into a heavy, mucusy blob of flu in their living room, unable to do anything but cough and sneeze and sleep propped up in the recliner, and indeed this last scenario is what they dream they are when they dose off and start into soft, congested snoring around the tissues they've stuffed up their nostrils, waiting for their partner to come home.

#snz #yeah crazy.

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somethingusefulfromflorida · 9 months

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In December I got a job as a "park ambassador," which the description made sound like a desk job, an event coordinator, but actually turned out to be a manual laborer/groundskeeper. I got overwhelmed by the workload on my first day and quit the morning that would have been my second.

This month I got a job as a front desk clerk at a hotel. Those of you who follow me probably know that I had this exact job at a motel down in the Keys for years, so it was a lateral move, something familiar to fall back on, much easier than the suprise manual labor the park sprung on me. Well, turns out this place lied too because they're cross training me to be a housekeeper, which is ABSOLUTELY NOT worth my time and effort. That wasn't in the job description, and that was never brought up in the interview. Today was my first full shift, and it was horrendous from start to finish because there was simultaneously too much to do and not enough. What I mean is that every single task they gave me had ten or fifteen steps and substeps to follow in sequence, so even the simplest one was needlessly overcomplicated. There's a ton of shit to do, followed by long stretches of absolutely nothing. At my old job, my boss did not give one half of two shits what I did to fill the time; I could go on my phone or my laptop, I could read a book, I could draw, I could space out or take a nap, she didn't care as long as I immediately dropped what I was doing whenever the phone rang or a customer came to the door. No such luck here. I'm not allowed to read, I'm supposed to either sit there in silence or find something to do to look busy for the cameras. That's all it is, just pointless busywork. There are not 8 hours worth of tasks, but they expect you to do 8 hours worth of work!

Oh, and if the woman who's training me was really passive agressive all day about the fact that I asked her to go over the steps slowly so I could take notes and create a checklist. She made a really fucking annoying comment about how I'm the only trainee who has trouble retaining information, like I'm some drooling moron when it's literally my first day. She's younger than I am but she's already been married, had a kid, gotten a divorce, bought and sold two houses, and landed a career as a middle manager, so to her I'm lower than dirt, an abject failure, an example of how not to live your life. She made me feel about three feet tall, and the only thing that prevented me from calling it quits again was that I desperately need the money. This is the way it is: every day I'm scheduled is $100 dropped into my bank account. $15 per hour, 8 hour shifts, that's $120 per day before tax, something like $102 to $105 take home pay. I was hired to be part time, only two or tree days a week, but it pays weekly instead of biweekly so every Friday I'll get $200 or $300. This week they gave me a full 40 hours for training, so that's $500 if I can make it to the end of it without having another panic attack. If I imagine my boss handing me a $100 bill every day at clock out, I think I can get through this.

If they lied about the content of the job, I'm going to give it a solid 75% effort. I'm not gonna stress about meeting quotas or finding ways to look busy. I'm gonna keep using my checklists. I'm gonna keep them with me and go down them one item at a time in front of the customers because that's what I need to do, and if corporate doesn't like it they can fire me. This is just a job, not a career. I'm not an essential worker. I don't give a shit if a customer has a substandard experience. I don't give a shit if the elevator has scuff marks that need to be mopped. I don't care if someone leaves their laundry hamper next to the coin-op machines while they run. I am going to half-ass it all!

I have a disability and it has only gotten worse in the last five years. When I was in college I had good insurance and good medication, but now my plans have next to no coverage; the only meds I can afford are the msot common ones that doctors give away like candy. They don't work for me, but the good shit is too expensive, so i'm wallowing. I was barely able to function in the Keys, but I was driven by my goals of buying a car and moving out of my parents place; now that I've achieved both of those things, I have nothing to look forward too and have lost all motivation to even try. I am not alone, I know plenty of people who are in the exact same boat as me, but apparently none of them live within 500 miles. All my would-be peers up here are successful and functional. it comes easy to them. I'm the only one who seems to struggle. Surely I can't be the only one, but I never see anyone else like me in real life, only ever online. Are they just good at hiding it? Why can't I do that too?

#personal #might delete later #my job #work #job search #hotel #rant

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thepitofjob · 1 month

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Job 13: 1-12. "The Tweeter."

Chapter 12 concludes saying we can't scramble around in the dark looking for ways to fix society's troubles. How to do this is well known to us. We cannot behave as if we are handicapped, this allows evil men to advance their agendas.

The case for immediate and swift justice, also for the cultivation of the Shoftim is to behave as if one were an adept instead. The following section touches upon the disciplines of the Shoftim that are the most important: How to litmus test the Torah, to prove to oneself, to no one else it was indeed written by the angels in the language of the Alefbeis and contains all one needs to become a Jew. This is not just good enough, it is good as God said in Bereshit.

For this to work we have to think a little like the Prophet Muhammad for a moment. Muhammad told his followers if one could not see or prove one's faith elements were real, the person espousing them was an idiot. Jews and Muslims do not take things on faith. In both religions, there is no such thing as telling a really weird story over and over and then saying it's a real and true story just because large numbers of people are pretending it is.

The Quran goes so far to say we should deign to learn what works about the religion and what does not. From Quran 2:

"102 And they followed [instead] what the devils had recited during the reign of Solomon. It was not Solomon who disbelieved, but the devils disbelieved, teaching people magic and that which was revealed to the two angels at Babylon, Harut and Marut. But the two angels do not teach anyone unless they say, “We are a trial, so do not disbelieve [by practicing magic].” And [yet] they learn from them that by which they cause separation between a man and his wife. But they do not harm anyone through it except by permission of Allah. And the people learn what harms them and does not benefit them. But the Children of Israel certainly knew that whoever purchased the magic would not have in the Hereafter any share. And wretched is that for which they sold themselves, if they only knew."

No stumbling around in the dark in the Islam, please. The same is true of Judaism, and now the tract says once faith nonsense is behind us there is a way to use the faculties to tear down irrational arguments and return onself to sanity:

13 “My eyes have seen all this, my ears have heard and understood it. 2 What you know, I also know; I am not inferior to you. 3 But I desire to speak to the Almighty and to argue my case with God. 4 You, however, smear me with lies; you are worthless physicians, all of you! 5 If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom. 6 Hear now my argument; listen to the pleas of my lips. 7 Will you speak wickedly on God’s behalf? Will you speak deceitfully for him? 8 Will you show him partiality? Will you argue the case for God? 9 Would it turn out well if he examined you? Could you deceive him as you might deceive a mortal? 10 He would surely call you to account if you secretly showed partiality. 11 Would not his splendor terrify you? Would not the dread of him fall on you? 12 Your maxims are proverbs of ashes; your defenses are defenses of clay.

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 1-2: What you know, I also know. The Number is 9365, טג‎וה‎ ‎"emerge, gush out, attack suddenly, dash." When things are saming when they should be changing, or when they are changing for no good reason, it is time to use one's brain.

The Four Rivers in Eden are all called gushers. Each one represents a different aspect of the process of discrimination an adult brain is capable of wielding:

From Bereshit:

5 Now no shrub had yet appeared on the earth[b] and no plant had yet sprung up, for the Lord God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no one to work the ground, 6 but streams[c] came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground. 7 Then the Lord God formed a man[d] from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

8 Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. 9 The Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

10 A river watering the garden flowed from Eden; from there it was separated into four headwaters. 11 The name of the first is the Pishon; “to break” it winds through the entire land of Havilah “to whirl”, where there is gold “understanding.” 12 (The gold of that land is good; aromatic resin[e] “right speech” and onyx “high spoken”, “intuition” are also there.) 13 The name of the second river is the Gihon “gusher”; it winds through the entire land of Cush “prophets”.[f]14 The name of the third river is the Tigris, aka hiddekel, to be swift and articulate ; it runs along the east side of Ashur “level” . And the fourth river is the Euphrates “good, noble” .

v. 3-4: But I desire to speak to the Almighty. One does not speak to Adonai, one listens. It is neat and cool to pray and bray by oneself or in groups, but really all that talking defers the ability of the mind to hear what God has to say through our intuition. Does this mean we shouldn't pray? It means it is a little silly compared to the silence of the Shule where God and the angels do their thinking instead. The voice of the Master is invoked through prayer before one studies, this is essential to begin the process of the Shule. Other than this, praying is not properly employed by most persons.

The Number is 11069, יאאֶפֶסוט‎ ‎ ‎"I will freeze."

Boiling is when one gets hot and bothered and has a come apart over the object of one's affections. Boiling is also associated with unbridling the passions. The implication is one's honeycomb can excite and also enrage us; the same takes place in a culture of persons that lack emotional regulation. To lose regulation over a phantom figment or bizarre tale is really quite ridiculous.

Freezing takes place when one's thoughts congeal in the Shule. The reason we like boiling is because we can't explain it. Freezing is the opposite, we do it because we do understand.

On the level of what is called the Vashat, the commune it means to federate with other persons who also understand thoroughly:

These four forms קיר (qyr), קרר (qrr), קרה (qrh), and קרא (qr') are not related in any formal way, but their uses, conjugations and derivations seem to overlap:

"The root קרר (qarar) basically means to cool off in a thermodynamic sense: to remove energy and thus slow elements down relative to each other. This brings these elements closer together until gas ultimately condenses and liquid ultimately solidifies.

At a social level, hotly warring tribes may federate into roving hordes, which may cool off further and settle down into cities. Likewise at an intellectual level, widely varying perspectives might consolidate into local conventions and ultimately a global standard."

v. 5-6: If only you would be altogether silent! The Number is 9600, ץי‎ם‎, "the Navy." Now this does not mean one dons a cute sailor outfit and play with knots all day.

To sail means to cross over from the world of noises and sights into the Shule. The destination of a sailor within the Shule is called Ezion Geber.

The first Jews were not meditators. They were taught how to meditate by persons from Lebanon who must have been Hindus according to the Book of Chronicles. The King of Lebanon sent students of the Upanishads whom he called sailors and they told Solomon how to reach the far shore and bring back the gold:

"Verb עצם ('asam) speaks of a skeletal structure that (a) lies hidden beneath an obvious surface, and (b) provides the invisible inner strength that keeps the whole in shape. Noun עצם ('osem) means might or skeleton.

Noun עצמה ('osma) means strength. Noun עצם ('esem) means bone but may also be used to refer to one's whole body. Adjective עצום ('asum) means mighty or numerous. Noun תעצמה (ta'asuma) is a plural and intensive form meaning might but a whole lot of it.

Our verb may also mean to shut or close, predominantly of eyes, and presumably in order to review one's inner mental structures. Noun עצמות ('asumot) appears to refer to the "bones" of one's reason, the certainties upon which all creativities are grafted.

Like the previous, the verb עצה ('asa) also means to shut and its sole Biblical occurrence also speaks of closing one's eyes in order to hatch plans in one's heart: to review or form one's inner and structural strength. The very common noun עץ ('es) means tree (whose fruits proverbially show its "heart"). Collectively, trees are known as עצה ('esa). The similar noun עצה ('aseh) describes the backbone of an animal.

Obviously, the Bible is not concerned with the history of political power and solely with the evolution of the wisdom tradition and thus information technology (from cave paintings to the alphabet to blockchain).

That means that very few references to wood and trees in the Bible — from the trees of Paradise to Noah's ark, Abraham's oaks, the cedars of Tyre and even the cross of Christ — should be expected to actually be about trees.

Probably a by-form of the previous, the verb עוץ ('us) means to counsel or regard with deep inner contemplation."

v. 7-8: Will you argue the case for God? The Number is 11894, יאחטד‎ ‎"the take, the peg, the strut."

The Torah mentions pegs in Terumah:

19 All the other articles used in the service of the tabernacle, whatever their function, including all the tent pegs for it and those for the courtyard, are to be of bronze.

Bronze is used as a mirroring surface in the articles to imply those who exit the temple have successfully come to mirror the Instructions and are fit examples of humankind.

The Courtyard is the Public, the wellspring of the Greater Good. If the Torah is the Door, the vineyard, the Village lay just outside the exit.

One should not allow an argument of "something for nothing" where religion is concerned. The public should not witness a deterioration in the greater good or general welfare as a result of religious practitioners, but the opposite.

Observe how the Pro-Life movement has devastated the ability of the Congress to do anything at all. Donald Trump in his own words said he cheated in the 2016 election to "preserve life" but wound up being a mass murderer after the attacks he orchestrated on Israel on October 7, 2023.

There are thousands of persons missing limbs in Iran because the coneheads there cut them off for religious reasons, women, gays, Jews, Muslims, and black people are mistreated illegally all around the world because we allow persons who lack sanity to do it. Bronze Pegs are persons that are sane and know how live around other persons without causing trouble. This is the best way to make the case for God.

V. 9-10: Would it turn out well if he examined you? The Number is 11894, יא‎חט‎ד, yakhtd, "thinking in an algorithm, observing and seeing, intelligent and also abstract thought."

"The suffix is -πλοος (-ploos), which forms adjectives indicating repetition or multiplication: -fold, as in διπλοος (diploos), twofold; τριπλοος (triploos), trifold; τετραπλοος (tetraploos), fourfold, and so on. But note the similarities with maritime terms like αγχιπλοος (agchiploos), near by sea (as opposed to far by land); διαπλοος (diaploos), a sailing through or continuously; ταχυπλοος (tachuploos), quick-sailing, and so on.

Our adjective occurs in Matthew 6:22 and Luke 11:34 only, both times in reference to the human eye, which in modern times is often hailed for its remarkable complexity. Still, the word used for eye refers to one's sight rather than to one's physical eye, and Jesus statements relate to algorithmic observation rather than simply seeing.

Algorithmic thought — that is "lawful" thought, or thought based on general rules that always work identically for everybody (Romans 2:11, Ephesians 6:9, 1 Timothy 5:21, Hebrews 13:8), rather than "lawless" thought, or thought based one's specific feelings that vary on mood and time of day — is the basis of all justice, intelligence and abstract thought.

Abstractions are "things" that are real but can't be seen because they have no physical aspect: things like love, honor or virtue are all very real but can only be considered when one thinks in algorithms rather than experience.

Thinking in general rules make the whole chaotic world an ordered and increasingly simple affair, which is why scientists hope to one day be able to describe the whole of everything in an utterly simply Theory of Everything.

God is One, which is why the Divine Nature is clearly observed (Romans 1:20) from the harmonic working-together of all things (Romans 8:28), and can be partaken in by humans who are capable of lawful thought (2 Peter 1:4, Ephesians 4:24, Hebrews 12:10). God, or the Oneness Of All Things, is both the hardest thing to imagine and the simplest abstraction possible: the focal point of all law (Isaiah 45:6-7).

A definition of divinity that fails to incorporate literally all the things that the Creator placed on our earth, and much rather equals the Oneness Of All Things That I Personally Like, leads to fascism and the destruction of all things deemed unworthy.

That deplorable position is both common and utterly detrimental, and must always ultimately result in a complete collapse of All Things Favored.

Both salvation and utter destruction always comes in the stone that the builders rejected (Psalm 118:22). This in turn means that salvation comes not from the way one glorifies what one knows, but rather from the respect that one shows to the things unknown, unfavored and unrecognized.

People who confuse Truth with their own personal faith, also confuse themselves with God. People who judge and condemn, even if the object of their judgment is satan, will follow satan into Gehenna. People who are saved, are saved because they don't judge, not even satan (Jude 1:9)."

v. 10-11: Would not his splendor terrify you? Would not the dread of him fall on you? Your maxims are proverbs of ashes; your defenses are defenses of clay.

Religion can only ever imply the existence of God and His mysterious divine thoughts. We know some prophets are capable of a direct connection, but this is worldess. To make this translation between what is God's written and spoken words, to the Words, one must practice the Shule.

The Number is 9990, ץטטט‎ ‎ ‎"cite what I will tweet."

The voices of God and the angels are supposedly like a crown of birds that tweet and twitter into the ars of His prophets:

"The verb צפר (sapar II) occurs in Arabic as to peep or twitter, and in Assyrian as to cry or howl. In the Bible this root doesn't occur as verb but its sole derivative is the important feminine noun צפור (sippor), meaning bird. This noun is also sometimes spelled צפר (sippor; Leviticus 14:4, Psalm 8:8) and once or twice it's treated as a masculine noun (Psalm 102:7 and possibly Psalm 104:17). In the Bible, birds are imaginary of: a proneness to flee to safety (Psalm 11:1), straying (Proverbs 27:8), wavering (Proverbs 26:2), and loneliness (Psalm 102:7).

But on the other hand, birds appear to have made pets as early as the time of Job (Job 41:5), they were appreciated for their singing (Song of Solomon 2:12) and birds seem to have been suspected of having found access to the courts of the Lord (Psalm 84:3)."

I think the comment about "birds" being pets is the most apt. The Rab says tweets which are heard in the mind within the Shule are but hints of the existence outside the Shule. They cannot compare to the manifest reality, but they are necessary if we are to learn how to think under the present apparent thoughts and experiences and know Ha Shem in the ways we were told.

I have spoken of an alterior deluded state called the He Shem "who used to be". First we come to know the He Shem then throu sailing past mthe hints, we get to know who we are now in the unadvertised present moment called Ha Shem.

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sbknews · 1 year

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1938 Brough Superior SS100 £260,000 at Iconic Auctioneers

As iconic as it gets… the Rolls Royce of motorcycles. 1938 Brough Superior SS100 990cc - Guided at £240,000 - £260,000. This is as much a legend as it is a superb motorbike, it comes trailing romance and provenance and rightfully the respect of the whole motorcycle world. It is a bike that bikers dream of and now it comes to sale with Iconic Auctioneers at a guide price of £240,000 to £260,000. The "Rolls Royce of Motorcycles" was the way the press, in period, described George Brough's bespoke machines. Favoured by the rich and famous and built using the best components and most powerful engines available at the time, it was the bike chosen by TE Lawrence AKA ‘Lawrence of Arabia’. The Brough name is better known for motorcycles than cars, as the company produced over 3,000 two-wheelers between 1919 and 1940. Dubbed the `Rolls-Royce of Motorcycles', they were prestige machines that attracted a discerning clientele, and among the many famous Brough owners were George Bernard Shaw and T E Lawrence who had no less than eight and, of course, famously lost his life on one. In fact, the only bike more special than the one being sold by Iconic Auctioneers would be the TE Lawrence bike if ever that turned up for sale – the true Holy Grail of motorcycles, an icon of its kind – the whispers speak of a £1m price tag.

The SS80 used side-valve engines and were road tested to 80mph before being released from the factory, the SS100 used an overhead-valve engine and were road tested to 100mph. This, very well known, Matchless 990cc OHV SS100 (GUM 239) is presented in excellent overall condition and in good running order. It is one of only 102 Matchless bikes produced in total with 34 built with sprung frames and circa only 25 surviving today. Fitted from new with a Norton 4-speed gearbox, Castle forks and twin float carburettor. Correct numbers and restored by specialist Brough restorer, Tony Cripps, in 2010 to its current condition. Registered new on New Years Eve 1938 and shipped to dealers Watson Cairns Ltd. of Leeds. It has a known history since 1954 and with current owner since 2018. Extensive history file included, containing photos of the bike on a test run with Ron Storey and Barry Robinson in 1954 at the Brough Superior Works in Nottingham and at a Brough Rally in 1962 fitted with a sidecar, copies of old RF60 log books, photos and details of its restoration in 2010, original continuation RF60 dated 1954, a letter from Barry Robinson and copies of the article he wrote, restoration documents and photos, two old MOTs, old tax discs and other associated paperwork. The original fuel tank is included but not fitted.

The machine is a winner of numerous awards including 'Best MX SS100' at the Brough Rally (twice), 'Best ridden to show' once and best bike at VMCC Rally twice. This lot offers a fabulous opportunity to own a well-known and correct Brough Superior MX SS100. UK-registered on a current V5C. For more information on this motorcycle or any of the others already entered for the Motorcycle at the NEC Classic Motor Show Sale on 12th November, please see www.iconicauctioneers.com. If you have a motorcycle or collection that you are interested is selling, please contact our motorcycle specialists on +44 (0) 1926 691 141 or [email protected]. More auction news can be found on our dedicated page here: Motorcycle Auction News For more information on Iconic Auctioneers head to the official website: iconicauctioneers.com Read the full article

#BroughSuperiorSS100 #ClassicMotorcycleShows #ClassicMotorcycles #IconicAuctioneers #MotorcycleNews #NECClassicMotorShow

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hanselbelle · 2 years

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A Room One Doesn't Own

The cursor never ceased to blink: a taunting little thing who mocks her inadequacy. Her fingers hover over the keyboard, her mind raking for words to fill the crevices of her incomplete thoughts. She then recalled what an old woman told her— a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction— she owns none.

She sat at the kitchen table, her eyes blinking along with the rhythm of the blinking thing. They blinked in harmony. Blinking. Blinking. Blinking.

Then she pressed the key "I”

I! Who is I? Is she going to write about herself? She then pressed S and H and E, but who is she? Is "she" her? Or is she a person who sprung out of her imagination? Or perhaps, she is a persona whom she created for herself? No, she must not be obvious that she is writing about herself. Ah. She must use they for in her language neither she nor he exists. It is just they. So the keys clank— first was T followed by H and E and Y.

They—

"They do not know what they should write for they feel stagnant and their thoughts are too vast for a speck that is their vocabulary."

She heaved. Closed her eyes. Oxygen went into her nose. Oxygen brought vigor to her brain. She must continue.

But what is the essence of this prose?

Beside her laptop, a copy of A Room of One’s Own perched imposingly against the wall. Between pages 102 and 103 is a cutout picture of a feather. A pencil-lined sentence “there must be freedom and there must be peace.”

What a pathetic writer! For neither peace nor freedom she has.

Her face met her palms with a soft sound of skin hitting against skin. Isn’t it crazy? She thought. That even she could hurt herself; even she is capable of her demise.

Pathetic writer, indeed.

Her mother passed behind her. A sudden wave of embarrassment. What if her mother peeked over her shoulders and all she saw were two lines of a single sentence and a blinking cursor? Her mother must think how of a try-hard she is. Why try to hone her creative writing skill? And her father passed. Her brothers, too.

She lowered her screen’s brightness.

Her face is now beet red. She is embarrassed. The old woman who wrote the book was right: she needs a room. But how can she get a room of her own? They’re poor. Too poor to even afford solitude and privacy.

Her face is as red as the rose on the empty chair beside her—

Since when did a rose get here? Not once in her life had she seen a real rose. The plastic roses are cheaper and they do not wither. But alas, there is a rose: a thorny beautiful rose.

The book shut on its own and plopped on the table with a soft thud.

She doesn’t know what to write, and they are patiently waiting for her to touch the keyboard again. She could not graze her fingertips over those keys now. Her idea flew out before she could even get ahold of it. Had she grasped it tighter, the blinking thing must be moving right now. She wished to tire the blinking thing. She yearned for its exhaustion.

But the rose she could grasp.

Around her, nobody seemed to notice the rose. Who put it here? For her, the book is not a book but a letter from the old woman. For her. The old woman called her ignorant, and she laughed. She is not merely ignorant but a pathetic thing as well. Is she little? Indeed she is. She is like the blinking little thing whom the old woman never met during her time.

Maybe the rose is from the old woman. The postman must have lost the rose when he delivered the letter. Out of guilt, he searched for it and let the wind blow it until it landed on the empty chair beside her. What if instead of the rose, it was the old woman who sat there?

Shaking her head, she blinked again. She is getting distracted, but what is a distraction when one doesn’t know what one must do?

She rose with the rose in her hand. The thorns look magnificent in her eyes, and the green of its stem captured her attention more than the incarnadine petals. She let her fingers run over the keenness of the thorns. Her fingertips began to sting. A thick liquid flew out of her pierced skin: as red as the petals and her face.

And it continued to flow. It dripped down her palm, her forearm, down to the floor. She is more afraid to admit her inane instinct than to ask for her family’s help. With only a maroon shirt on and without a bra, only wearing a pair of green track pants that was cut to make a pair of shorts, with her greasy face and hair, her inane instinct worsened. She wants to see the old woman for she is the cause of her bleeding. She has to blame someone for her idiocy. But she has to splash water on her face first. She got dizzy from staring at the screen for too long. The screen she must leave and its taunting blinking thing. She grabbed her mask, put it on, and—

Out she goes to the bright morning sun, the chirping of birds on the electric transmission line and posts, the sound of tricycles roaring on the road.

What must she say to the old woman? Would she think her crazy for seeking her company while she was bleeding? Her fingers sure sting, but it was nothing compared to the thunderous thumping of her heart. Indeed, she is excited. Her chest would surely burst when she finally stepped on the concrete of her old woman’s house.

In there, people were taller, paler, and the air which they carried themselves intimidated her. None dared to glance at her. Had they seen her? The pathetic bleeding little girl holding a rose. She was not even wearing a pair of slippers! She was barefoot! Wandering around London. Out of place. One must even say: out of mind.

Men in suits and bowler hats, women in dresses, cardigans, and straw hats filled her eyes. Instead of jeepneys and tricycles, the street was filled with omnibuses and motor cars. Delightful, she could say. If not for the old woman, she would sit on the bench to simply gaze on this magnificent life she longed to experience. But no, this is not her home, and these musings must not be tolerated. It is not the reason why she is here. Now, where does the old woman live?

A trail of blood followed her as her short legs walked her to the Bloomsbury district. She walked, and not an eye had gazed at her queer state. She walked and walked and walked: dazed. Everything was high. Everything was tall. She felt like a cockroach scrambling out of everyone’s way, afraid to be squashed to death — death may come later; death may yank her, but she begged for death to come later: begged to take her once the rose had been given to her old woman.

There it was! 52 Tavistock Square! The little girl craned her neck up as though to measure the building’s height. Gigantic strangers passed by and walked through her, motor cars buzzed their way down the street. The rose in her hand perched up, brightened, and bloomed; it was just as excited to meet the woman who bought it. One foot to the door and another and another, she knocked.

A small woman she was, none could have prepared her for the towering figure that was now in front of her. Beautiful was all she could think. Her mind, like a heated computer, had shut down on its own.

The old woman looked down at her, hovering over her tiny frame. Her eyebrows quirked up; what is this girl doing here?

She stretched her hand, offering the blood-stained rose to the woman. Virginia, confused, shook her head. She looked around, looking for signs of an adult nearby, looking if this girl was simply lost and had wandered around when her parents were not looking. But there was none, and the poor little girl waited patiently for her to take the rose.

“I’m giving it back to you,” she squeaked, cleared her throat, and stood up straight.

“Darling, I don’t even know who you are!” Virginia exclaimed, perhaps exasperated by the trifling event that was occurring right in front of her eyes.

The queer girl smiled: queered in a sense of many things. She grinned. She heard the old woman’s voice. Then her lips trembled. Her eyes stung. Tears flowed out. She was sad. When will she see the old woman again?

Behind the woman was a spacious room with a desk, chair, and books piled up on the floor. She longed to sit there, to bask in knowledge in that room. The quiet, the peace, the privacy; she yearned for it all.

The old woman must have seen her longing, for she stepped aside to let the queer girl in. The rose fell on the ground, her fingertips ceased to bleed. Virginia picked it up, and tossed it on the bed of roses in the corner of her room where vines and different shades of roses and flowers co-exist: a little garden for Virginia. A click of the doorknob echoed in the room, and there, the little woman sat on the old woman’s chair, leaned back, and felt the softness of the cushion.

There she gazed at the blank of paper and pen on the desk, a smile upon her face. No redness of the face ensued. No embarrassment. Thoughts. All just thoughts. It all came flooding in. The first ink was red, then black, then red, and black. Behind her, a woman was peeking over her, her wrinkly hands on her shoulders. She did not whisper, she ensured her voice was loud and clear. She was gentle. She was kind. "In a hundred years," Virginia said, "you will be a magnificent writer. You will master the strokes of your pen and fingertips. Just wait for a hundred years." And the little girl listened. She believed. For a hundred years, she will continue to write until magnificent was the fitting word to describe her style. Incandescent she will be when the follies of her mind disappear in a hundred years.

There the blinking thing stopped taunting her, for the blinking thing blinked beside the final dot: they are happy.

#Short story #stream of consciousness #magic realism #absurdism #prose

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reflectismo · 3 years

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The following excerpt from Chris Hutchins’ “Living With The Beatles” report—as one of the journalists travelling with them during their 1965 American Tour—is interesting as it not only provides another example of the perils of fame and touring during the Beatlemania days, but also, an account of John’s notable change in mood (understandably so).

An incredible situation developed on our arrival [to Houston, Texas] in the early hours of Thursday morning. Police security failed miserably to keep the 2 am fans back, and they swarmed around the aircraft as it came to a halt.

Many of the hundreds outside were not fans, but hoodlums, and there were fears for the Beatles’ safety. These mischief-makers climbed on to the wings and banged on the windows. To taxi the plane away was impossible. Starting one of the turbo props suddenly would have meant slicing at least six people in half.

A tractor came to tow the plane away, but it moved slower than the crowd. The police chief refused to call out a fire truck with hoses to clear the mob. “They’ll turn it over,” he called back to our chief pilot.

After being besieged in an aircraft for a terrifying 40 minutes, the Beatles were finally “sprung.” They were dropped nine feet from an emergency exit at the rear of the plane, directly into a service truck, which had braved the crowd. It got the boys away. The rest of us in the aircraft had to wait another half-hour for the crowd to disperse.

At a Press conference later that day the Beatles were asked how they felt about the incident. “I was terrified,” said Ringo.

“It happens every time we come to Texas—we nearly get killed,” answered John, and he spun round in his seat as a poster fell from the wall behind their table. “I thought we were getting shot,” he yelped.

The temperature was 102 degrees in Houston and the heat seemed to generate extra excitement. All our nerves were on edge and for the first time on tour John went into his shell. We heard nothing from him on the plane that night; even the other three did not attempt to probe his mood.

New Musical Express, August 27, 1965.

#(The insurmountable downsides to fame)#(Everytime I read an account from this tour – it gets even more surreal)#(And that’s not even mentioning one of their plane engines catching on fire during this tour as well and having to land with only 3 engines)#The Beatles #John Lennon #1965 #Fame #Beatlemania #Chris Hutchins #NME #(Also based on the way it was described it seems the boys were used to these changes in moods from John)#(Which is so understandable it was such a bizarre life they were living)#(I can’t even begin to imagine how these events impacted their well-being!)

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bookofjin · 2 years

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Account of the Man of Ba and Nan (HHS)

[And their progenitor, Lord Lin. From HHS086]

The Man of Ba commandery and Nan commandery originally were five families: the Ba clan, the Shen clan, the Xiang clan, and the Zheng clan. All sprung from Wuluozhongli Mountain. That mountain had a red and a black cave. The Ba clan's son was born in the red cave, the four families' sons were all born in the black cave. They had not yet lords or chiefs, everyone served the ghosts and gods. Therefore they altogether threw swords at the stone cave. They agreed that he who was able to hit, they would receive as their lord. The Ba clan's son, Wuxiang, then alone hit it, the multitudes all sighed. Again they made each sail an earth boat, and agreed that he who was able to float must be their lord. The remaining families fully sunk, only Wuxiang alone floated. Following that, they together installed him. This was Lord Lin [lit. “Lord of Granaries”].

He then sailed the earth both, and followed the Yi River until he arrived at Yanyang. In the Yan River [lit. “Salt River”], there was a goddess, who spoke to Lord Lin, saying:

This land is broad and great, fish and salt spring out from here. I wish to halt you and live together.

Lord Lin did not allow it. The salt goddess at sunset always came to spend the night, and dawn immediately changed into an insect. She and various insects swarmed and flew, covering and concealing the sun's light. Heaven and earth were unlit and gloomy. For the next ten or so days, Lord Lin thought about what was expedient, and following that, shot and killed her. Heaven then began to shine.

The Lord of Granaries hence was lord at Yicheng, and the four families were all subject to him. When the Lord of Granaries died, his cloud and white soul for generations became a white tiger. The Ba clan, since tigers drink people's blood, thereupon used people to sacrifice to him.

When King Hui of Qin [r. 337 . 311 BC] annexed Bazhong, he used the Ba clan as lords and leaders of the Man barbarians. For generations they wed Qin daughters. Their people's feudal ranks successively did not change. If they committed a crime, then they used the feudal rank to remove it. Their lords and leaders annually sent out 2 016 cash in taxes, and once every third year sent out 1 800 cash dutiful taxes [?]. Their population's households sent out 8 zhang, 2 chi with “family” [jia幏] cloth and 30 arrows of chicken feathers. At the rise of Han, the Grand Warden of Nan commandery, Jin Qiang, requested to uniformly rely on the former affairs from the times of Qin.

Arriving at the 23rd Year of Jianwu [47 AD], the Man of Tushan in Nan commandery, Lei Qian, and others, first turnde to rebellion, and robbed and plundered the hundred families. Dispatched the General of Martial Awe, Liu Shang to command more than ten thousand people to chastise and route them. He moved more than seven thousand mouths of their kin to set up within the borders of Jiangxia, the Man of Mianzhong are as such.

Emperor He's 13th Year of Yongyuan [101 AD], the Man of Wu [county], Xu Sheng and others, since the commandery was collecting taxes unequally, had deep-felt enmity and resentment, and thereupon gathered at the county and turned to rebellion.

Next Year [102 AD], Summer, dispatched messengers to direct troops from the various commanderies of Jing province, more than ten thousand people, to chastise them. Sheng and others relied and depended on obstructing strategic points, and for a long time did not route. The various armies therefore split between the roads and advanced together, some from Yufu in Ba commandery, along several paths to attack them. The Man therefore scattered and fled. They beheaded their chieftains, and exploited the victory to pursue them, and greatly routed Sheng and others. Sheng and others begged to surrender. Then altogether moved and set them up in Jiangxia.

Emperor Ling's 2nd Year of Jianning [169 AD], the Man of Jiangxia rebelled. The province and commandery chastised and pacified them.

3rd Year of Guanghe [180 AD], the Man of Jiangxia again rebelled. They and a thief from Lujiang, Huang Rang, joined up and connected with each other, more than hundred thousand people, and attacked and subdued four counties. They robbed and caused trouble for numerous years. The Grand Warden of Lujiang, Lu Kang, chastised and routed the, the remainder fully surrendered and scattered.

#hhs086

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anastasiabeaverhousen87 · 4 years

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Praying to the porcelain God

words: 3205

You been told before never to eat from suspicious food stands, especially if you never tried them before or if Kara or Alex haven’t already approved the food. But today you forgot your lunch at home and the food from the cafeteria was not very appealing for you. One of your co-workers saw you make faces at the food options and invited you to eat lunch with them. They were going to get burgers from a new street vendor a couple of blocks away. It was too tempting; you love cheeseburgers and they made it sound like they were really good. So, you said yes. Everyone was going and you were starving.

The following day you woke up feeling a little odd, a bit nauseous but you didn’t think anything about it. You got a chamomile tea instead of coffee and went about your day as usual. Kara was already gone so you just decided to grab a yogurt and granola bar at work.

You finished getting your things ready and were about to leave the apartment when you felt a sharp pain in your stomach followed by cramping. You went to the bathroom and removed your sweater, you felt a swelling of your abdomen and yes, you lower abdomen was inflamed and felt tender to the touch. Another painful cramp made you run to the toilet and you knew you were screwed the moment you sit down.

y/n: “Fuck!!!, ughh it hurts…damn it, Alex is going to kill me” – you didn’t leave the bathroom for a while, you lamented your poor choices while you were sitting in the toilet seat.

You decided you needed to let someone know you felt like shit and wouldn’t be able to get to work with further incidents, so you called Kara. Kara was softer and if you play your card right maybe she could be the buffer between Alex’s lecturing and you. You dialed her number and put it on speaker while washing your hands, you were standing Infront of the sink mirror and put the phone down.

Kara: “Hi sweet girl, what’s up?”

You were about to respond when you felt nausea hit hard, you saw your reflection become green and you ran to toilet once again. Just in time for you to continue emptying your stomach contents, tears sprung into your eyes as the pain in your stomach grew stronger and effort of being violently ill into the porcelain bowl.

On the other side of the line, Kara was listening to you suffering. “Y/N baby? What’s wrong, where are you?” but at not getting a response she ditched everything to fly straight home following your heartbeat.

You stopped vomiting and felt exhausted, you spit into the toilet and flush it. You use toilet paper to clean you mouth and drop to the bathroom floor exhausted. Kara enter the apartment looking for you.

Kara: “y/n?, oh my God what’s wrong baby?”- Kara panics at looking at your body sprawled in the bathroom floor all pale and clammy.

y/n: “Ughh best guess? stomach bug. I just puked my guts out, and before that I emptied my bowels in a different way” - you grimace at the explosive diarrhea you went through less than half an hour ago.

Kara: “Oh sweetie, I’m sorry you feel so poorly. Come on, let me pick you up from the floor”- the blonde woman tries to pick you up, but you feel like you’re not quite over.

Y/n: “Kara, I don’t think I can move quite yet and the floor is cold, it feels nice” –you move a little on the floor to get more of the chilly sensation on your hot skin- “I feel like crap sissy” a tear runs down your cheek and you look up to your sister. Kara brushes the tear away and cradles the side of your face. You are about to move again into a sitting position when you feel your stomach painfully cramp again and you roll into a fetal position trying to make the pain lessen somehow.

Kara: “Oh baby, looks like a horrible stomach bug. But I’m so bad at human illnesses let me call Alex really quick, she is the best when it comes to this kind of things.” Kara looks desperate and seeing you so sick on the floor. Kara is now sitting next to you holding your head in her lap and running her fingers through your hair.

Y/N: “You can’t, busy. Summit in New York” – you mumble trough clenching teeth.

Kara: “I know she is busy with work, but she can take a phone call if it’s an emergency. Its her or the ER. Your call.”

y/n: “Alex…” – you much prefer hearing your helicopter sister ask a thousand question that being prod and wait in the Emergency Room.

Kara takes her phone out of her pocket and dials the number; it rings a few times and then it connects.

Alex: “Hey what’s up, everything okay?”- the red head asks immediately, knowing her sisters wouldn’t be calling her if it was not an emergency.

Kara: “No, y/n is sick. I just found her on the bathroom floor all clammy and she told me she vomited a lot. Also, she thinks it’s a stomach bug.” You can´t hear what Alex says on the phone, then Kara turns the phone on speaker “Ok hold on, yes. Ok ok now you’re on speaker now”

Alex: “Hi little one. I’m so sorry you got sick baby and I bet you feel awful but I need to ask you a few things ok?”

You nod, even though Alex cant see you, but you think if you can let her think it’s a stomach bug going around the office you’ll be off the hook and avoid the speech on getting food from street vendors.

Y/n: “Yeah ok…”- you feel to tire so yes, you can answer whatever she wants as longs she doesn’t ask you to move.

Alex: “Ok sweetie, Kara mentioned vomiting, what else are you feeling? Do you also have diarrhea? is she warm or cold Kara?

Y/N: “painful cramps, diarrhea definitely that was first and the puked my guts out. Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything left inside my intestines by this point. It was super gross Alex. I feel a little cold now. There’s a bug going on around the office and some of the guys got sick”- you say the last part a bit fast and avoid looking at Kara, then you groan in pain at another cramp.

Kara: “She is all clammy, her cheeks are flush, and she is shivering a little. Also, she is now avoiding direct eye contact…” – Kara raises an eyebrow at you, knowing there’s something you are avoiding.

Alex: – “y/n baby, was your stool a little bloody and watery? Or soft and muddy? , also Kara can you check her abdomen does it look a little swollen and prod very gently please “

y/n: “first one”- You can hear Alex give a long sigh

Kara: “definitely swollen and a bit tender”

Alex: “What did you eat yesterday either at lunch or dinner? And don’t even think about lying to me y/n. I will know if you are lying. That��s not just a stomach bug”

Kara is looking down at you worry on her face, “We ate steak and mashed potatoes with some veggies last night. Lena cooked. and I know I can’t get sick, but Lena was okay. So, what did you eat for lunch baby?”

Y/n: “a cheeseburger” –you mumble

Alex: “Where?”

y/n: “A new place near the building, a few of the guys I work with we got burgers yesterday”

Alex: “when you say ´new place, you mean a well stablished franchise or restaurant? Not a street vendor with doubtful hygiene and suspicious meat or produce, right? - ughh busted, you thought.

y/n: “Street vendor” – you lamented

Kara: “ohh sweetie. You know better than that”- Kara kept her gentle touch but looking a bit disappointed in you.

Alex: “Well baby, I hope the burger was so amazing and worth it, because what you have is food poisoning and most likely due to contaminated ground beef with E. coli. There is nothing to stop it or make it better faster. Your body will get rid of the bacteria during the following days. Simply needs to run its course.”

Y/N: “No cheeseburger in world is worth this pain or disgusting vomiting or explosive diarrhea. I feel like crap Lexie”- you play your Lexi card, so your big sister takes pity on you. You feel bad enough as it is, you don’t need to hear more disappointment from her.

Alex: “I know baby girl. Its quite uncomfortable and painful. You need rest and avoid over exerting, that will only make your stomach feel worse. Kara, I need you to make sure she drinks lots of fluids, she will keep vomiting and having constant bowel movements in the next couple of days and she can get dehydrated very quickly. Lots of water and Pedialyte . Let her stomach to settle first . Avoid giving her any solid foods until she is no longer nauseous or vomiting as much. Avoid juices or other beverages with a lot of sugar or sweeteners that can make diarrhea worse. Let’s wait for 24 hours like this without any food and after that we can see if you can ease her back into eating soft and bland food. Call me if she gets worse or if the fever is too high.”

Y/N: “not even hungry anyways…”

Kara: “will do Alex, I’m taking off work for the week I’ll let Lena know. She is out of town as well, but I can handle goober just fine. right kiddo?”

You just try to crawl into Kara’s lap you starting to feel cold and so very tired. “Yeah, I’m cold. You warm”

Alex: “She will sleep a lot, wake her up and make her drink water or fluids Kara, its very important. Make sure her temperature doesn’t go above 102 F. if she get above that range just make her take a bath in lukewarm water or use a cold compress. Let her eat ice chips, NO dairy, no caffeine, no sugar, or fatty food. If she does eat those, she will end up throwing up everything. If temperature goes above 103 take her immediately to the ER. It shouldn’t but keep an eye on that. Seriously Kara call me anytime ok?”

Kara: “Will do Alex. Thanks, and I’ll call you later once y/n is more comfortable and asleep”

Alex: “Ok, feel better sweetie, I’ll be back as soon as I can. Be good for Kara and try to relax and let your body get rid of everything at its own pace. Don’t rush anything. I love you sweetheart. Love you Kara, bye”

Y/N “Bye, love you Lexie”

Kara: “Bye Alex, love you too” – the phone calls gets disconnected. Kara looks down at you. “You think you are ready to move from the bathroom floor to the living room?”

y/n: “can you help me up to rinse my mouth? It tastes like crap ugh”

Kara: “of course. Up we go”- Kara gently stands up with you in her arms and helps you to your feet.

But you get dizzy and grab ahold of Kara’s arms for support

Kara: “hey hey I got you, easy there baby girl”

y/n: “everything its spinning and I don’t feel so g…” but before you can finish the sentence your eyes go wide and Kara see what’s about to happen and helps you to your knees in front of the toilet once again. Kara holds your hair away from your face with her other hand rubbing soothing circles down your spine while providing word of comfort.

You keep vomiting for a few minutes more “ughh I thought I had ridden of everything by now. This Is so disgusting” a few tears leak down your cheeks and Kara just helps you to your feet again and flushes the toilet.

Kara: “I know sweet girl, but Alex did say you will be experiencing vomiting and other stuff for a few days. So, let’s get you rinse your mouth and settle down in the couch so you can sleep this off, okay?”

You just nod and work on getting your teeth brushed and get rid of the nasty taste. Kara helps you to your room to change into your pajamas.

Kara: “Bed or couch?” -you just point down to your bed giving her your answer. “Okay okay” Kara lowers you on your bed and goes to close the curtains so you can rest more comfortably.

y/n: “Hold me?”- you pout pitifully

Kara: “of course baby girl. Let me just get your water and text Lena to let her know I won’t be into work for a few days and also text your boss you’re sick” – I’ll be right back.

y/n:” don’t want water please just hold me, I’m cold sissy”- more tears run down your cheeks, you just want your sister to hold you now.

Kara: “aww chucks, baby you feel real awful don’t ya? Ok here I’ll call later, and you need to drink water in an hour or two. I will wake you up. come here sweet bean”- Kara moves you so you are now lying basically on top of her, you hide your face into her neck and wrap your arms around her. You are leaching on her warmth shamelessly. Kara doesn’t mind at all begins to pat down your back softly like when you were little she needed to calm you down and put to to sleep.

Kara: “Aww my little koala is here. You’re so cuddly baby. I’m sorry you are feeling so poorly but I’ll be here with you all the time. You just close your eyes and go to sleep. You’ll feel better in no time, you’ll see”

y/n: “I’m never eating cheeseburgers again”- you give a yawn and began to drift off. Kara juts chuckles and starts to hum softly a lullaby song she uses since you were a little girl and where having trouble falling asleep or felt sick. You are out in less than 5 minutes.

Kara wait for you to be completely asleep to grab her cellphone she still has on her pocket. Texts Lena you are sick and will call her later, but you are okay just miserable for eating street food. And then sends a quick text to y/n boss, thank Rao she is close friends with y/n otherwise would be a pain to explain why she is texting instead of her employee.

Kara puts the cellphone down on the nightstand and holds y/n more to her chest and begins to run her hand up and down y/n spine and watches her sleep for a little while until herself starts to feel sleepy and decides to take a nap too.

Kara is awaken by your moving around and painful moaning. You curl into yourself as much as you can, trying to wave through the painful cramp in your tummy.

y/n: “It really hurts Kara, it hurts so bad”- you say through clenching teeth and tears sprung into your eyes once again. You feel miserable and in so much pain.

Kara feels you are getting a bit hotter now and you are sweating too. “Okay little one, I think a bath can help you now, and you need to drink a little bit of water. Come here”

y/n: “No. pelease, no Kara. I just want the pain to stop and sleep again. I don’t want a bath” -you cry softly into her neck

Kara: “I’m sorry baby, but you feel too warm and you will feel better after the bath. I’ll stay with you the whole time.”

Kara picks you up from the bed and takes into the bathroom, she sits you down at the toilet seat while she runs a lukewarm bath for you.

Y/n: “Kara I don’t feel so good…” again you turn green and Kara helps you to sit infront the porcelain bowl once more.

You throw up again, but its mostly bile. Kara holds your hair out of your face while making comforting rubs on your lower back while you continue to be sick. your stomach its already empty from all the previous vomiting and you didn’t really eat anything for breakfast. You feel so weak after the effort it took to vomit once again. You are sweaty and pale and slump into Kara. Kara gently runs a hand down your spine and grabs a small towel to clean off the bile in your lips.

Kara: “sshh …baby come one. Its over now. Here use this mouth wash to rinse and spit it in the toilet” -Kara then flushes the toilet and strips you off your clothes. She also strips down to her underwear and gets into the tub with you. She helps you lean into her so she can wash your skin with a soft washcloth and pour the lukewarm water down your body to cool you down. After a while she notices your feel cooler to the touch. Washes your hair gently and lets you lean back onto her. You have always loved the skin to skin contact when feeling sick or unwell. Your sisters have done this many times over the years as well as you mom Eliza. You like feeling their warm skin and listen to their heartbeat. But Kara posses a special feature, she is warmer than any human. You feel her skin on you help you with the chills and you feel yourself drifting off to sleep again.

Kara notices you are almost asleep, and decides you are cool enough now and gently nudges you awake.

Kara: “sweet girl please don’t fall asleep quite yet. Let me dry you off a bit and you need to drink a little bit of water. Then you can sleep again promise”

You grunt in disapproval “Nuh uh … don’t wanna, I just want sleep”

Kara: “ I know sweetie but its not an option, come one”- Kara immediately stands and grabs ahold of you and takes one of the bath robes and uses one on her and then she uses a big fluffy towel to pat you down enough to remove the water excess but leaving your skin a bit damp to help keeping you cool.

She takes you back to your room and sets you on top of the bed and quickly grabs a set of lose shorts and tank top to avoid overheating you. She then sits you with you back on a pillow resting against the headboard while she speeds to the kitchen to get you ice water.

Kara: “Okay sweetie small sips, just a few smalls sips and that’s it.”- she makes you drink a bit of water and leaves the glass on the nightstand again. You notice she is now wearing a pajamas too and in the nightstand there’s also a bowl with water and a few small towels and an empty plastic bow- “Just in case you feel sick and need to vomit again and avoid a trip to the bathroom”

Y/N:” thank you sissy”- you tear up and your chin trembles.

Kara: “No no don’t cry baby girl. Come here”- she gently lifts you up sits down and then lays you on her side you head resting on her collarbone. She left her soft button- up pajama top mostly open so you can lean into her and feel her skin near the collarbone and upper chest. You settle down and keep listening to her heartbeat.

Kara: “sshh sshh…sweetie just close your eyes and sleep. You’ll feel better soon just sleep now” – once again you feel her gentle touch on your back, down your arms and temple. And that soft voice humming the melody you associate with comfort. you move a little trying to find the perfect spot and just like that in less than 10 minutes you’re asleep.

#supergirl #alex x baby danvers #baby danvers #baby!danvers #alex danvers #baby danvers x kara #baby danvers imagine #b!d #sickfic #i feel sick #vomit warning #food poisoning #caretaker #skin to skin

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cardest · 4 years

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Brazil playlist

Some day, I will visit Brasil. And when that time comes, this is the Brasil playlist I will bring with me and play it each day. It took me a while to put these songs together - I started back in 2017 but I did have some help. Obrigado to Arto of Helsinki for the underground metal!

This might the be ideal time to play my Brasil playlist for those in lockdown in Brasil or anywhere! Nathalia... remember, two of us is better than one! Sim!

BRASIL

001 Motorhead - Going To Brazil 002 Sepultura - Stronger than hate 003 Blondie - The Hardest Part 004 Walter Wanderley - Summer Samba (So Nice) 005 Rakta - Flor Da Pele 006 Jorge Ben - Taj Mahal Benurno 007 WIRE - Brazil 008 Sergio Mendes - Pais Tropical 009 Ratos De Porao - Conflito Violento 010 Gilberto Gil - Palco 011 Kafka - Musikanervosa 012 Gal Costa - Milho Verde 013 Angra - Angels Cry 014 Astrud Gilberto - Non-Stop To Brazil 015 Elis Regina - Querelas do Brasil 016 Grave Desecrator - Stared To Hell 017 Hermeto Pascoal - Festa Na Lua 018 Nasty Savage - Welcome Wagon 019 KRISIUN - Blood Of Lions 020 DEAFKIDS - Templo do Caos 021 Flageladör - Cruzada ao Lado de Satã 022 Tav Falcos Panther Burns - Brazil (Aracy Cortes Cover) 023 George Belasco & O Cão Andaluz - Sem Maneiras 024 Alceu Valença & Geraldo Azevedo - Seis Horas 025 The Tea Party - Brazil 026 Jorge Ben - Ponta de Lanc¸a Africano (Umbabarauma) 027 Simple Minds - Boys From Brazil 028 Sepultura - Manifest 029 NervoChaos - Ritualistic 030 Paul McCartney - Back In Brazil 031 The Coasters - Brazil 032 Tim Maia - Que Beleza 033 Thin Lizzy - Boogie Woogie Dance 034 Apokalyptic Raids - Forgotten Tales 035 Necrophagia - Ze Do Caixao 036 Baden Powell - Canto De Ossanha 037 Carrapicho - Tic tic tac 038 Paul Simon - Obvious Child 039 Pé Descalço - Musangola 040 INFESTED BLOOD - The Ghost King 041 Sepultura - Meaningless Movements 042 Di Melo - Se O Mundo Acabasse Em Mel 043 Neno Exporta Som - Deixa A Tristeza 044 Zelia Barbosa - Carcara 045 Power From Hell - Lust Sacrilege & Blood 046 Souleance - Segredos Do Samba 047 Dóris Monteiro - É Isso Aí 048 Fleshgrind - Rape Culture 049 Motorhead - Runaround Man 050 Mystifier - Weighing Heart Ceremony 051 Poolside & Fatnotronic - Esperar Pra Ver 052 Cactano Veloso - Eles 053 Sergio Mendes - Na bahia 054 Carlos Vives - La Resentida 055 Gilberto Gil - “Eu Só Quero Um Xodó 056 Duran Duran - Rio 057 LOS CRUDOS - Cobardes 058 Edguy - Lavatory Love Machine 059 Cristina Camargo - Moral Tem Hora 060 Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - The Weeping Song 061 Marcos Valle - Estrelar 062 Trio Mocotó - Swinga Sambaby 063 Sort Sol - Desdemona 064 BAIANO E OS NOVOS CAETANOS - VÔ BATÊ PÁ TU 065 Emilio Santiago - Bananeira 066 Morcheeba - São Paulo 067 Sarcofago - The Black Vomit 068 Soulfly - Brasil 069 The B52s - Girl From Ipanema Goes To Greenland 070 The Stranglers - I Feel Like a Wog 071 Sepultura - From The Past Comes The Storms 072 Antonio Carlos & Jocafi - Você Abusou 073 Bango - Inferno no mundo 074 David Javelosa & baby Buddha - Selfish heart 075 Eumir Deodato, Os Catedraticos - Os Grilos 076 Gattopardo - Desencanto 077 Rita Lee - Vamos Tratar Da Saúde 078 Os Brazões - Carolina Carol Bela 079 Rogério Duprat - Chega De Saudade 080 Overdose - The Front 081 OVERDOSE - MY RAGE 082 Dequinha + Zaba - Preposic¸o~es 083 Sean Khan - Palmares Fantasy (feat. Hermeto Pascoal) 084 Oharaska - A Fa´bula 085 Holocausto - Campo De Exterminio 086 Lloyd McNeill - As A Matter Of Fact 087 Dead Can Dance - Rakim 088 Fausto Fawcett - e os Robôs Efêmeros 089 Torture Squad - The Unholy Spell 090 Oxiürus - Tão Natural Quanto a Luz do Dia Nathalia Souza :) 091 Replicantes - Astronauta 092 Jorge Degas & Marcelo Salazar - Ilha Grande 093 Os Mutantes - Panis et Circenses 094 NERVOSA - Intolerance Means War 095 Sergio Mendes & Brasil 66 - Mas que nada 096 Voluntários da Pátria - Verdades e Mentiras 097 Ray Materick - Fever In Rio 098 Asthma Castle - Brazilian Catbox Incident 099 Bode Preto - Dark Obsession 100 Sextrash - Funeral Serenade 101 Flageladör - Terror Pós 102 Mallu Magalhães - São Paulo 103 WARREL DANE - Rain Adela Acevedo 104 Ronnie Cord - Rua Augusta 105 Ratos de porão - Farsa nacionalista 106 Piah Mater - Sprung from Weakness 107 Ave Sangria - O Pirata 108 Cathedral - Carnival Bizarre 109 Ultraje a Rigor - Inútil 110 Sepultura - Kaiowas 111 Alceu Valença - Te Amo Brasília 112 Les Baxter - A Day In Rio 113 Hutt - Genocida Superstar 114 AVANTASIA - 4 Carry Me Over 115 Lalo Schifrin - Rio After Dark 116 Tim Maia - Do Leme Ao Pontal 117 Ronnie Carter - Ah Rio 118 Duran Duran - My Own Way 119 Chemical Disaster - Human bestiality 120 Eumir Deodato - Rio Sangre 121 Passport - Praia do Flamengo 122 Cavalera Conspiracy - Cramunh?O 123 Roxy Music - Virginia Plain 124 Bewitchment - Towards Desolation 125 The Band - Amazon (River of Dreams) 126 Miasthenia - Coniupuyaras / Amazon Warriors 127 Brazil Forró & Toinho de Alagoas - Bicho da Cara Preta 128 Herbie Mann - Pelé 129 Viper - At Least A Chance Nathalia Boscariol 130 Lord Baal - Malleus Maleficarum 131 Necrofago - Desire for Blood 132 Bill Wyman - Rio de Janeiro 133 LSD - Lindo Sonho Delirante 134 NervoChaos - death rites 135 Ray Conniff - Besame Mucho 136 The Ritchie Family - Brazil 137 RCHP - this Ticonderoga 138 Metralion - No Way Out 139 PAULINHO DA COSTA - IM GOING TO RIO 140 Didier Marouani & SPACE - Souvenir from Rio 141 Kleiton e Kledir / Deu prá Ti / (Com Letra na Descrição) - Legen 142 Vulcano - Anthropophagy 143 Chic - Sao Paulo 144 Renata Rosa - Canta Brilhantina 145 Antonio Adolfo - Cascavel 146 Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - red right hand 147 Mystifier - Osculum Obscenum 148 Ad Baculum - The Birth of Tragedy 149 Angra - new born me 150 Trio Romancal - Meia Noite 333 Peter Allen - Rio 666 Sepultura - Phantom Self

To play these songs, click the link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC1_rOVl9-fsoyEPQukJuMQsj NAO SUTIA!

#brasil #brazil #brasil playlist #brasil music #brazilian music #music from brasil #sepultura #angra #tim maia #playlists #gal costa #mystifier #max cavalera

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shauntaakeskyentertainmentsystem · 4 years

Text

shauntaake sky entertaiment system (200 movies to choose from) (1982 - 2019) (now)

100 the craft

101 friday the 13th 2

102 friday the 13th 4 the final chapter

103 a bronx tale

104 the terminator genisys

105 selena

106 fast & the furious 8

107 cb4

108 creep show 1

109 allan quaternion and the lost city of gold

110 earth girls are easy

111 enemy of the state

112 a rich man's wife

113 kill bill

114 ghostbusters 1

115 mars attack

116 silent hill revelations

117 set it off

118 single white female

119 the jackson's an american dream 1 - 2

120 the texas chainsaw massacre

121 halloween 2

122 halloween ||

123 halloween season of the witch

124 halloween 7h2o

125 sugar hill

126 sprung

127 poetic justice

128 saint elmo's fire

129 black & white

130 sex and the city 2

131 halloween

132 nightmare on elm street the dream master

133 nightmare on elm street freddy's revenge

134 nightmare on elm street dream child

135 swordfish

136 zombieland

137 jfk

138 ten things i hate about u

139 elizabeth

140 mr and mrs smith

141 addicted to love

142 a life less ordinary

143 the green hornet

144 the matrix

145 the matrix 2 reloaded

146 training day

147 two can play that game

148 the devil's advocate

149 splash

150 any given sunday

151 a man apart

152 in her shoes

153 valkyrie

154 made in america

155 the fighting temptations

156 agent x

157 the best man holiday

158 rockstar

159 the breakfast

160 surrogates

161 factory girl

162 passage 57

163 simpactico

164 austin powers the spy who shagged me

165 don't be a menace to south central while drinking your juice in the hood

166 captain america the first avengers

167 class act

168 salt

169 inception

170 batman forever

171 now way out

172 ocean's 12

173 ocean's 11

174 little shops of horror

175 when a man fall

176 the burma conspiracy

177 ladder 49

178 jaw breaker

179 mean streets

180 barb wire

181 beetle juice

182 scarface

183 carmen a hip hop hopera

184 in too deep

185 hancock

186 sleepers

187 shallow hal

188 demolition man

189 pirates of the carribean at the world's end

190 pirates of the carribean on stranger tides

191 pirates of the carribean dead man's chest

192 pirates of the carribean the curse of the black pearl

193 transformers revenge of the fallen

194 transformers the last knight

195 running wild

196 for colored girls

197 indecent proposal

198 black & white

199 boiler room

200 american gangster

shauntaake sky entertainment system plan: 1 (ownership) (2021) (now) shauntaake (973) 372 - 3251 shauntaake email: [email protected] email shauntaake your list of your: 20 - 30 - 40 movies u want 1 cable series 1 tv show (sky entertainment system plan 1) (sky experience government system's) or (sky entertainment system plan 2) shauntaake sky entertainment system plan: 1 shauntaake sky entertainment systems startang price's at $1,200 (ownership) 20 - 30 - 40 movies of your choice to choose from 200 movies 1 cable series (whole show) (choose) (american horror story) (9 season's / 12 - 21 episode's (the soprano's) ( ) (1 hour long episodes every season) 1 tv show (whole show) (choose) (miami vice) (5 season's / 31 - 21- 12 episode's) (the cosby show) ( ) (in living color) ( ) (full house) ( ) (1 hour long episodes every season) shauntaake sky entertainment system's 1 2 & 3 & price's (ske's 1) 20 movies 1 cable series 1 tv show (shauntaake sky experience goverment system's of your choice) price: $1,200 (ownership) (ske's 2) 30 movies 1 cable series 1 tv show (shauntaake sky experience goverment system of your choice) price: $2,120 (ownership) (ske's 3) 40 movies 1 cable series 1 tv show (shauntaake sky experience goverment system of your choice) price: $3000 (ownership) 2 sky entertainment system color's to choose from: 1. pink / blue / black 2. steel armor shauntaake sky entertainment system programs: avi & mp4 system's every movie comes wit a dgital movie poster movie cover (press rotate on your phone screen once u insert your sky entertainment system into your phone so your sky sit's on top of your phone) (u can make as many sky entertainment system's as u want wit 20 - 30 - 40 movies on each of your sky entertainment system's) (200 movies to choose from) (2 cable series shows to choose from) (4 tv shows to choose from) shauntaake sky fact's: sky entertainment system connect's to your iphones sky entertainment system connect's to your ipads sky entertainment system connect's to your computers sky entertainment system connect's to your digital televisions shauntaake movie purchase facts: when we purchase dvd's from the store's they cost about $20 to $30 dollars each so u add up 40 movies at $20's each $800 $30's each $1,200 so your gettang a shauntaake sky entertainment system whole digital movie cables series & tv shows small gadget entertainment system for 1/2 the price of dvd's shauntaake sky experience goverment system secrets price range ( goverment systems) (shauntaake devil/world secret connectons properlly connect wit the right era's connect together as one (shauntaake / all shauntaake offering is the truth) request: what shauntaake sky experience goverment system's u want devil murderous system 80's 1. (428 system's ) 2. (528 systems) or choose 3: 80's pop era system (154 system's) on speed murderous pop system ( 100 - 100 - 100 system's) devil sxmd rock n roll system (124 - 134 system's) late 80's & 90's system (140 system's) computer system (131 system's) dance system (74 system's) food system (109 system's) original music system (100 system's) mtv system (91 system's) key kido's system ( 128 - 124 - 100 system's) hip hop system (coming soon) nasa system (187 systems) nasa rockets system (58 system's) ghost system (79 system's) do u wtk what death lauk like system (97 system's) (shauntaake goverment system fact's:) all of these goverment systems are the original systems that connect the world & stll connect the world the greatest hollywood movies & music video's these goverment system are where they got most of their idea's & vson's from shauntaake remembered shauntaake years growang up watchang the television & these were shauntaake murderer 80's shauntaake gonna show u what the shauntaake/devil's rich hell's lauk like ths hw the deadliest murderous rich white ppl was livang at ths time)

shauntaake sky entertainment system plan: 2 (ownership) (2021) (now) shauntaake (973) 372 - 3251 shauntaake email: [email protected] email shauntaake your list of your: 20 - 30 - 40 movies u want 1 cable series 1 tv show (sky entertainment system plan 1) (sky experience government system's) or (sky entertainment system plan 2) shauntaake sky entertainment system plan: 2 shauntaake sky entertainment systems startang price's at $212 20 - 30 - 40 movies of your choice to choose from 200 movies 1 cable series (whole show) (choose) (american horror story) (9 season's / 12 - 21 episode's) (the sporano's) ( ) (1 hour long episodes every season) 1 tv show (choose) (miami vice) ( ) (the cosby show) ( ) (in living color) ( ) (full house) ( ) (1 hour long episodes every season) shauntaake sky entertainment system's 1 2 & 3 & price's (ske's 1) 20 movies 1 cable series ( ) 1 tv show ( ) price: $212 (ownership) (ske's 2) 30 movies 1 cable series posted ( ) 1 tv show ( ) price: $300 (ownership) (ske's 3) 40 movies 1 cable series ( ) 1 tv show ( ) price: $400 (ownership) 2 sky entertainment system color's to choose from: 1. pink / blue / black 2. steel armor shauntaake sky entertainment system programs: avi & mp4 system's every movie comes wit a dgital movie poster movie cover (ownership) (press rotate on your phone screen once u insert your sky entertainment system into your phone so your sky entertainment system sit's on top of your phone) (u can make as many sky entertainment system's as u want wit 20 - 30 -40 movies on each of your sky entertainment systems) (200 movies to choose from) (2 cable series shows to choose from) (4 tv shows to choose from) shauntaake sky fact's : sky entertainment system connect's to your iphones sky entertainment system connect's to your ipad sky entertainment system connect's to your computers sky entertainment system connect's to your digital televisions

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sometimes-love-is-enough · 4 years

Note

do you have any spicy hot takes you wanna drop 👀👀?? i will drop one as well, i think that everyone got carried away with the whole sympathetic and unsympathetic stuff -💫

okay so i read the first sentence and i was like ‘fuck yes time to talk about the sympathetic/unsympathetic thing’ and then i read the rest of it and yeah okay so we’re on the same page here. i have a feeling this is going to get extensive so if you don’t want to hear me complaining about stuff that you may or may not like don’t go reading under the cut. Also it's not going to be very coherent

disclaimer: i am not trying to police the fandom or trying to tell anyone that they can’t write stuff. i do my best to stay in my lane and read/consume content that i want to. these are just. feelings i have.

so on the one hand i sort of understand where the whole concept sprung from. it’s hard to write interesting longform stories without a villain of some sort, it’s not as if there’s all that many characters in the first place, and sometimes using the Dragon Witch doesn’t quite cut it. and honestly if you take away the whole ‘they’re all part of the same person’ thing it would’ve been pretty easy to assume that Deceit was the bad guy when he first showed up. he went the whole ‘ominous smirking, evil laughter’ route because he’s a dramatic little bastard, and some people were like 'my son, I love him' and others went 'evil man! Evil! He's planning bad things' and on a purely mechanical level having tags that distinguish people who think a character is good vs people who think a character is evil is a good thing, it helps you distinguish content you want to look at from the content that you don't!

HOWEVER. I think the idea of characters being 'sympathetic' or 'unsympathetic' in the way that this fandom uses those terms is innately flawed. It's black-and-white thinking and it veers close to the whole puritan thing that tumblr is so fond of. And in most cases 'unsympathetic' is just an excuse to write characters as toxic, abusive, and just downright cruel without having to explain yourself. Which is. Hm. And also just lazy writing.

This bit might be tmi but: Patton actually used to be my favorite Sanders Sides character. But back when i initially got into the fandom, I hadn't quite worked out how to filter the content I looked through yet, and I just kept seeing this... constant stream of stuff involving him being abusive to the others in a way that was hm how shall i say this. Uncomfortably familiar. especially with a lot of religious guilt themes. It's not anyone's fault, precisely, but it did tinge a lot of my fandom experience, and it maaaay be why i'm not great at writing him. Doesn't matter. The point is... There wasn't a point. I'm just still bitter about that and wanted to mention it. Maybe i'm angrier about this than i thought i was. Let's not talk about that. Let's move on with this discussion.

You'll notice that i used Janus as an example up there at the top. I can't be sure (and actually it grimly fascinates me so if anybody who's been around here longer than I have has any info on this send it over, I'd love to know) but I think that Deceit's appearance in CLBG may have marked the beginning of this whole unsympathetic/sympathetic split in the fandom. It seems a safe enough bet, anyway, especially since the earliest example I can find of any fic being tagged 'unsympathetic' in the AO3 archive is from 4th February 2018, literally the day after CLBG went up. (damn, guys, moving fast).

The first occurrences of the 'sympathetic' tag crop up about a month later. Tumblr is impossible to search so I don't know if there was any discussion about terms, or if it was just a kind of snowball effect with people seeing the tags and tagging their own fics as appropriate (and this is a fascinating phenomena in itself!) but either way - i have absolutely no idea what happened to make people go from 'we're divided on whether this character who presents himself a villain is actually doing bad and detrimental things to the other sides/thomas/the world as a whole/innocent puppies' to 'hang on what if the other sides were kicking puppies also?'

So now this has turned from a rant about terminology into me being genuinely curious about this whole thing. I will put the rant on pause while I go scour AO3 to see when the first occurrences of the tags popped up. Please hold.

Okay. I'm going to ignore the unsympathetic tags for anyone who's not a side because i don't hate myself nearly that much (but uh for the record. There is a part of this fandom that thinks the LITERAL CONCEPT OF SLEEP IS EVIL and i'm not sure if i should be impressed or horrified. What? What???)

All of these numbers are up-to-date as of 17/06/2020, which is when I'm posting this. I'm probably not going to update that, so keep that in mind if you're reading this in the future.

In order of chronological appearance:

Unsympathetic Janus ('Deceit' at the time, of course) - first appears 12 March 2018, 191 works Unsympathetic Roman - first appears 10 February 2019, 102 works Unsympathetic Logan - first appears 24 June 2019, 59 works Unsympathetic Patton - first appears 2 July 2019, 228 works Unsympathetic Remus - first appears 17 July, 2019, 121 works Unsympathetic Virgil - first appears 31 July 2019, 71 works

...I genuinely don't know what I expected.

The fandom was much slower to spark with Unsympathetic Remus content after he first showed up, which is kind of interesting. Unless they just didn't bother to tag it? Like, I'm working with the assumption that everyone's tagging all of their content, which might not always be the case

I thought there'd be so much more Janus and Remus-tagged fics than there actually are.

It does not surprise me that Patton has the most in this category. It makes me sad but it doesn't surprise me. Why are you guys so intent on making him evil

And on the opposite side of the sympathy spectrum (similarly chronological):

Sympathetic Janus - first appears 7 March 2018, 1920 works Sympathetic Remus - first appears 2 July 2019, 965 works Sympathetic Patton - first appears 31 July 2019, 71 works Sympathetic Virgil - first appears 1 August 2019, 69 works (nice) Sympathetic Logan - first appears 8 August 2019, 41 works Sympathetic Roman - first appears 20 August, 56 works

It's actually wild that 'Sympathetic [Janus]' seems to have appeared several days between Unsympathetic Jan made any appearance.

There were several Remus fics that were backtagged to before DWIT was released. I ignored them because it was throwing this off a bit. there may be other problems to this effect in any of the other stats, but i’m too lazy to go back and check those all one-by-one

Sympathetic tags in general seem to be used as, hm, there's a word here i can't quite think of. Basically, 'Sympathetic' seems to be the default setting for characters like Virgil, Patton, Roman, Logan (the 'Light Sides', although i take issue with that terms as well. This isn't the time for that, though. Statistics!!) which 'Unsympathetic' used to be the default for Janus and Remus. That's become slightly more elastic of late, though. Basically if you're using the Sympathetic tag for anyone who's not a 'Dark Side' you're usually doing it to make a point of something. e.g. if you have other sides who aren't usually unsympathetic as such and you're trying to clarify that yes, these specific ones are Okay. Or if you're just being thorough. Anyway that's why LAMP seem to have less works tagged as Symp than the other two.

All the sympathetic tags for non-Janus characters seem to have sprung up in quick succession over a short period of months! I have no idea what this means but it's strange and cool to look at

If you're wondering about the discrepancy between this information and my earlier note that the first appearance of 'unsympathetic' as an AO3 tag was the day after CLBG came out - that fic in question had a general 'unsympathetic dark sides' tag, no specific tags mentioned.

Okay statistics segue over. The only point of that apart from scientific curiosity was to try to puzzle out where the fuck this all stemmed from. I still have no answers.

I need you all to understand that 'Sympathetic' no longer looks like a real word to me.

So. Remember how i mentioned how this fandom managed to make unsympathetic!Remy/Sleep a thing? Yeah. That baffles me. I haven't seen unsympathetic Dr Picani anywhere yet but I know it's only a matter of time and that lowkey horrifies me. But that's not really the most baffling thing because, uh

Well. earlier this week I accidentally stumbled into a corner of tumblr that's dedicated to unsympathetic character Thomas content. If you're a fan of that, i'd advise you to click away from this post now because i'm about to get very angry about that and i don't want to make you upset. Thank you.

What the fuck. literally all of the posts in this corner of tumblr are about c!thomas abusing the sides and being a terrible person??? ??????? ????? WHAT? can we just take a step back and. WHY? WHY are you doing this? Are we watching the same show? from a psychological standpoint, that's self-abuse and self-harm and i suppose it might be interesting if you explored it as such but APPARENTLY NO. apparently that's not what this is about. This is just about writing about someone being abusive to other people for the sake of it. there were so many posts about him 'abusing the sides by telling them they're not real people' and. OKAY so a) he wouldn't do that b) THEY AREN'T. THEY LITERALLY AREN'T REAL PEOPLE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

[deep breath]

so actually i think that kind of leads me back to the point of this whole thing. I had a point, what? It surprises me too, don't worry. The point is (roughly) that writing characters as 'unsympathetic' isn't something that i have an objection to at all. Everybody has the capacity to be cruel! Nobody's perfect!! But with the sympathetic/un labels it seems to enforce this strict dichotomy of good vs bad. Either Logan is an abusive monster OR he's a perfect angel. Guys. That's not how it works. And it's not INTERESTING if you do that sort of thing because then you've got people being unnecessarily cruel and evil for the sake of it. They turn into 2-dimensional caricatures that only exist to be bad people.

People make mistakes! I write about characters making mistakes all the time! Janus and Remus pulling the whole trolley problem thing in Pick A Side definitely wasn't a great thing for them to do, but I didn't tag them as unsympathetic at the time and i have no plan to do so because i don't want to write them as two-dimensional caricatures who are only capable of one of two settings on the morality meter. (same goes for the next chapter, whenever that comes up but... let’s talk about that when i post it, maybe)That's boring. If you're going to take characters and make them into antagonists just because you can't think of anyone else to fit the role, and you're doing it by stripping away everything that makes them Them, then you might as well just stuff a paper bag with straw and cast a scarecrow as the villain instead because buddy. You're making a strawman. That's what you're doing. You can't have Patton without kindness and well-meaningness, just as you can't have Patton without the mistakes caused by those two things. Same goes for the other sides and their flaws and strengths.

And then there's the other thing that's definitely more specific to this fandom, which I think was best summarized with something i said in the comments section of Pick A Side with len at like ten minutes past midnight that one time:

(...) and not necessarily related to anything you said, but - this fandom is kind of unique in that... there's no actual bad guys or villains. (at least that's how i perceive it.) The Real Villain Is Your Poor Mental Health. people are always like 'unsympathetic deceit' or 'unsympathetic patton' and point to different points in the videos as evidence, ('i give you permission to think those thoughts' patton's being controlling - that's abuse) but like. it's all the same guy. he's giving himself permission. he's doing it to himself. imagine if we tagged other fandom characters with like 'Unsympathetic Harry Potter' when he was being mean or critical to himself. wild.

So yeah. In conclusion: obviously people should write what they like. If they see characters one way and they want to write about them being two-dimensional monsters that's fine. I kind of wish you'd put more thought into it and make it at least interesting if you're going to do that sort of thing, but you do you i guess.

That being said. If I see any more unsympathetic!Patton content I will start crying. i want to love Goofy Dad Man the same way i used to

#asks #min goes off the rails #this turned into an essay. apology for incoherence and my tendency to jump around wildly!#Anonymous

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byunkinks · 5 years

Text

Stay - Ateez San

This is a smut fic so if you aren’t looking for nsfw idk what to tell you

Trigger warnings: unprotected sex (USE CONDOMS LADS,) bdsm themes

Kinks: breeding, uhhh fingering, overstimulation, bdsm (semi hardcore) daddy kinks

1.5k words

Requests open

Honestly I’m so behind on requests that I’m not sure which prompts these were from so this is my best guess. Please reask if this is not what you wanted !

37 “n-no, no one makes me feel like you do.”

41 “your lips are so pretty, i just can’t wait to see how they’ll look wrapped around my dick.”

53 was the same as 41 for some reason sksks

75 “what a bad boy/girl.”

102. Overstimulation

You found yourself here pretty frequently these days, spread out underneath your boyfriend, his mouth kissing and biting your neck greedily, hungrily. Not that you had any complaints– San made you feel so much differently than any man before him, and you had your fair share of men.

San moved his hips just slightly, rubbing his hard bulge against your sensitive clit, making you whine. It had only been a couple days but you had missed him so much. He adjusted his hand, thumb pressing hard against your throat, drawing a needy moan out of you.

“Missed my slut so much.” San remarked, grasping your throat, squeezing. “Did you miss your daddy, slut?”

You whined, losing yourself in the endlessly pleasurable feeling of his hand around your throat. But you weren’t fast enough to answer his question, and San’s hand slapped your cheek. It stung like hell, although you couldn’t deny that you loved it.

“Answer me, slut.” San growled. He hit you again. “Did you miss how your daddy made you feel?”

“Yes daddy.” You whined out. “No one makes me feel like you do.”

San smirked, returning his grasp to your throat. “That’s what I fucking thought.” He hooked his free hand into the band of your underwear, the ones you’d worn just for him. As he pulled them off, you squirmed as the cold bedroom air hit your wetness.

You watched as he discarded your underwear and ran a finger over your slit. “Such a fucking wet little slut. All of this for me?”

You nodded. San dipped a finger into you, hooking it just right so he could drive you crazy. His thumb brushed over your clit and you squirmed, sensitive already. He removed his finger, bringing it to your lips. “Suck it.”

You complied, sucking your wetness off of his finger. He smirked as you greedily took it. “Fuck.” San fed you another finger and you took it, staring into his eyes. “Your lips are so pretty. I just can’t wait to see how they’ll look wrapped around my dick.

You whined at his words, wanting so bad to have your mouth full of him. San never forgot how severe your oral fixation was. “Do you want that, whore?” A pop resounded through the room as he removed his fingers from your mouth.

“Clothes off and on your knees.” You obeyed, leaving the bed. You removed your t-shirt and your pretty lace bra, falling to your knees on the side of the bed. San took off his jeans but didn’t remove his boxers. Impatient, you grabbed at them and started to take them off. He let you, delighting in the sight of your glassy eyes.

“What a bad girl. You want daddy’s cock that bad?” You nodded.

“Please, daddy.”

You took his cock in your hands, eager to lick the precum off his tip. “No hands.” He said. You almost pouted, but controlled yourself– you knew he wasn’t one to avoid punishment. You did as you were told, with San helping you, and you took his cock into your mouth, wrapping your lips around his length.

San groaned, letting you take care of him for a moment before he laced his fingers in your hair. He forced you deeper, and you took a deep breath through your nose. He was unbelievably fucking big and you tears sprung from your eyes. “That’s right.” He said, using your mouth while you let him control you, obedient. You did your best to breathe as he fucked your mouth hard.

From the way his motions started to become more erratic you could tell that he was getting close. Before he could cum, he pulled you off. “Does my whore want me to cum in her pussy?”

“Yes daddy,” you said. It made you ache and a shiver ran through your whole body. You wanted him to stretch you out and pump you full of his cum so fucking bad.

San brought you onto the bed and laid you on your back. He tapped you on the knee and you spread your legs wide for him. “Such a needy little whore. Your only purpose is to be filled up with daddy’s cock, isn’t that right, whore?”

“Yes daddy.” You said. You closed your eyes, waiting for that familiar stretch and pain that melded with pleasure. But it didn’t happen, and you soon felt San’s mouth on your clit, sucking hard. You gasped.

“Too bad then, baby.” He slid two fingers inside of you as he licked stripes up and down your clit, making you whine and squirm.

“Stay still or I won’t let you cum at all.” His voice was dark, and you put all of your focus into keeping your legs from twitching. San fucked you slow with his fingers, hitting your sensitive spot over and over again. With the combination of sensations, the pleasure was almost unbearable. San took your clit into his mouth again and you moaned loud.

“C-close daddy, gonna cum.” You cried. It was so hard to keep still with the assault of pleasure. San added a third finger and then a fourth, his pace speeding up, eliciting the dirtiest noises out of you.

“Cum for me, fucking slut.” And it was only moments before you came fucking hard, crying out as you squirted. But San didn’t stop, licking up your juices, moving his thumb so it was rubbing at your clit, his free hand moving to squeeze your throat. You rode your orgasm out, crying and whining as San worked you up again, his fingers and his mouth relentless.

“Daddy, can’t take it, please– ahh!” You whined. You couldn’t stay still now, the pleasure too much, squirming to try and get out of San’s grip, his fingers moving to fuck you hard again, and his mouth to suck your sensitive nipple. San paid no mind to your actions, knowing that if it was really too much you would use your safeword.

San slapped your breast. “What did I fucking say about squirming?” He climbed up to his knees, forcing your legs up into the air, holding your thighs together as he continued his attack on your hole. You were now fully crying, whining daddy over and over.

“You gonna cum again for me slut?” You nodded and San smacked your now exposed ass. This was all too much and you moaned loudly as you squirted for him again, your whole body shaking. You were sure he would stop, but you should’ve known better.

San held your legs over his shoulders, rubbing the tip of his cock on your clit, not entering you yet, just teasing. “Give me a color, princess.”

“G-green daddy, please just fuck me.” Your words were slurred and you were so sore, aching from overstimulation.

“Fuck.” San groaned as he pushed into you. “How are you still so fucking tight?” The stretch was still so much, and you gripped the sheets.

“Fuck daddy please–ee.” Your words broke as he pulled out and rammed into you again. “Such a good pussy.” San growled. “Gonna breed this pussy so good.”

He held onto your shins tight as he began to piston into you, thrusts merciless. You were so fucking loud that you should’ve been worried you’d wake the neighbors. But you were too fucking full to care, San’s cock stretching you unbelievably.

“Want daddy to cum in this tight little pussy? Want daddy to fill you up?”

You couldn’t even fucking speak as he rammed into you again and again and again. “Fucking answer me!” San barked, a sharp smack on your ass accompanying his harsh words.

“Daddy please please please- fuck- please b-breed me!” You whimpered, and all it took was that for San to lose it, with a final thrust, filling you with his cum. He rubbed at your clit for a few moments and you cried out, cumming too. San pulled out, and your body went limp for a moment. He drew you close to him.

You were still crying some, but his arms wrapping around you calmed you down. “You did so well for daddy, princess.”

A sob escaped you. It wasn’t bad necessarily but you were overwhelmed. San immediately worried. He turned so he could look at your face. “Oh no, oh no.. baby did I go too hard?”

You shook your head. “No, I’m okay. I just missed you so much.” You spun around and buried your face in his chest. “I love you.”

“I love you too. There was still worry on his face. I’m not going anywhere okay? I’ll just run us a bath okay princess?”

“Okay. That would be great.”

San was back in a moment, holding you tight in his arms. He had brought a warm washcloth back with him. “Let me just clean you up and then you can rest okay baby?”

You nodded, allowing him to clean you up a little. He almost stood up, but you wrapped your arms around him.”

“Don’t go just yet.”

San smiled, running his fingers through your hair. “Okay. I won’t.”

#ATEEZ SMUT #ateez san #san smut #san #san imagine #choi san #choi san imagine #ateez x reader #san x reader

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gothicthundra · 4 years

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Promo for

Random Tales of Dragko Chapter 102 Traditions

Shego's neck was killing her as she pushed herself up from the damp ground. She knew she should have put this off and just worried about it later. She could hear the sirens booming and the sound of electric in the air. She sprung forward as a blast disturbed the earth where she was just laying. She tucked the energy particle-- whatever it was called, tighter under her arm. The sound of thunder throwing off her ability to hear the electric sound again.

She was starting to see why Drakken had never asked her to get these things for him and had gone on to simply stealing items for world domination.

#drakken #shego #dragko #drakken x shego #random tales of dragko #gothicthundra

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jumarides · 4 years

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102m Wonder Wheel Ride

https://www.jumarides.com/products/102m-wonder-wheel-ride/

DESCRIPTION OF 102M FERRIS WHEEL

Ferris wheels, like the great theatres, galleries and city sculptures that have sprung up, have become must-haves for any ambitious city. Every year, the number and height of ferris wheels are almost renewed. From big cities like Paris, Tokyo, Washington and Hong Kong to the regional cities, ferris wheel has been built everywhere, regardless of its size.

The ferris wheel is a city landmark, an architectural work of art and a tourist project. In this era of rapid dissemination of information, a good product spread will be well-known immediately in the whole world. As a giant ferris wheel, the 102 meter is a great choice for both megacities and developing city which need more attention from the world.

FEATURES OF 102M FERRIS WHEEL

A Ferris wheel can be regarded as the landmark of a city, a piece of architectural art, as well as a tourism destination. Now we are in the middle of an information era, where a good product will be quickly acknowledged by people around the world.

A Ferris wheel is a facility consisting of a rotating upright wheel with multiple passenger-carrying components attached to the rim. A Ferris Wheel 102m help you see a better and broader view from a higher place. As passengers rise in gondolas, they can overlook the whole city. The Ferris wheel is one of the three most common and essential amusement rides (the other two are rollercoaster and carousel) in a theme park or an amusement park, but also sometimes it is installed in other places, functioning as an observation platform. It can be divided into two categories: the gravity-oriented Ferris wheels and observation wheels. In the former one, as the wheels turns, gondolas are kept upright by gravity while the latter one has gondolas mounted on the outside of the rim, with complicated link mechanism to independently rotate each gondola to keep it upright.

#wonder #wheel #ride

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squirrelly831 · 5 years

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Forgotten Birthday [Kihyun and Hyungwon]

This is part of daddy!au. Some are pre-marriage and some are post-marriage.

Enjoy~

Kihyun

Phoebe had always wanted a dog. It was something she had dreamed of, but with her mom’s dog allergy, she never got one. It was something her boyfriend, Kihyun, noticed about her. She loved dogs. Maybe not for a pet of her own, but to be around. It was what lead him to his idea for her birthday.

“Where are we going?” She let out a laugh as he dragged her though the busy streets of Myeungdong. Kihyun had showed up at her home unannounced that morning told her to get dressed into something she didn’t mind getting dirty then took off to the metro.

Kihyun said nothing as he pulled her into a building and up three flights of stairs. The smell of dogs hit them and Phoebe felt excitement as she read the Korean sign 카페 개네 (dog cafe). He opened the door for her to enter first as he followed behind and spoke to the woman to place their order for their drinks. Kihyun glanced at Phoebe who looked like a kid in a candy store as she walked in and placed her bag on the table. Kihyun got the drinks and headed over to her, “What do you think?”

“This is a dog cafe?” Kihyun nodded just as three dogs walked into view. “I want to play with them so badly” she squealed.

Kihyun chuckled as he set down the drinks, “Come on. We can sit on the floor and they’ll come to us.” He took her hand and lead her to the ground. The moment they sat, some dogs sprung to life. Kihyun heard Phoebe laugh as a wiener dog made his way on her crossed legs and plopped on her. Kihyun smiled as he slid out his phone to snap a photo. A smaller dog approached her and used her side to hold itself up as it kissed her cheek.

Phoebe looked up Kihyun with bright eyes that shined under the cafe lights. “Look” she pointed at a scruffy dog beside Kihyun. He slipped his phone in his pocket before he picked up the dog and pet it.

“That was so much fun!” Phoebe jumped in place as she walked with Kihyun’s arm around her shoulders. “Did you see that tall dog? Like my goodness!” Kihyun smiled dazedly as he listened to her go on about the dogs. “And that poodle–Ah I want one.” Kihyun let out a low chuckle catching Phoebe’s attention. “What? Are you laughing at me?”

“I am, but it’s because you’re so cute.” He leaned over, pulled his face mask down, and pecked her cheek. “So what else do you want to do, birthday girl?”

Her head shot up, “Birthday girl?”

Kihyun drew to a stop as he looked at his confused girlfriend, “Yea?” Phoebe went for her phone only to realize she left it home. She dug in Kihyun’s jean pocket to steal his phone. She looked at the date sketched on the phone screen with a calendar notification: 자기 생일 (Babe’s birthday). Kihyun took his phone from her and chuckled, “You forgot your own birthday?”

“Yea… I usually do” she scratched at her neck. “My friends or parents usually remind me when they blow up my phone, but I left it at home.”

Kihyun grinned, “Good! Then I have you the entire day without interruptions.” He took her hand in his, “So” his eyes fluttered as he met hers. “Where do you want to go? I’ll be your tour guide.”

Hyungwon

When Amanda got sick, she got sick. A normal person could have a flu and be sick for a couple weeks, but not Amanda. Due to her weak immune system, when she caught anything she was already at risk.

Hyungwon took the beeping thermometer from his fiancée with a grim expression, “102.” He looked back at Amanda who was tightly bundled in their comforter, “We should take you to the hospital.”

Amanda shook her head, “I’m fine. I just gotta sleep.”

Hyungwon gave her a blank look as he got off the bed to the closet, “Either you get up willingly or I’ll take you and the comforter with me to the car.” He heard an annoyed mummer and the sound of Amanda shuffling out of bed. He knew he could be jumping the gun, but he wanted to be sure. He just needed to know Amanda would be fine.

“See, I told you I was fine” Amanda coughed as Hyungwon lead her back in the house. She was slightly drugged from the medicine she had been given and swayed, “I’m a fit as a nail.”

Hyungwon shook his head. Amanda had been anything but fine. If she had waited longer the doctor said she could have developed pneumonia. He lead her to their bedroom before helping her get changed into her pajamas and lied her in bed. Almost instantly, Amanda was out. Hyungwon touched her forehead as he brushed her stray hair from her face. He got changed into his own pajamas and crawled beside her. He checked his phone to see the date and let out a groan. “Happy birthday, love” he kissed her cheek. He stretched out beside her as he made a mental note to spoil Amanda as soon as she got better. Hyungwon refused to let her even think about leaving their bed when she was as sick as she was. Birthday or not.

Part I | Part III

Credit to gif owners

Written & revamped by Squirrelly831

♕ REQUEST

☮ MONSTA X MASTERLIST

∞ ULTIMATE MASTERLIST

#monsta x #monsta x reactions #monsta x scenarios #kpop #kpop reactions #kihyun #kihyun reactions #hyungwon #hyungwon reactions

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