#srry i needed to test out some new brushes

[zaniart]

official merch

[devilyn]

meet n greet | kuroo tetsurou

part 2 to your biggest fan.

— alexa, play: come thru by summer walker (ft usher).

You make me wanna come through

Quarter after two

Just to put it down on you

You make me wanna replay

All of those things

That you and me, we do

— synopsis: kuroo finally decides he wants to help you with your onlyfans. | F!READER

— genre: explicit, lots of dirty talk, an aspect of exhibitionism, no actual penetration

— word count: 2.4k

— a/n: happy valentines day lol. if u know me, u didn’t see this. also, this is a repost bc it didn’t show up in the tags so srry if u saw this b4. plz tumblr put it in the tags this time

Kuroo couldn't get your images out of his head. Whenever he glanced at you from the back of the lecture hall, it took all of his willpower to think of anything but the way you came apart just three feet away from his usual seat.

He was going to lose his mind if he didn't talk to you soon. Which is why he was standing outside the dining hall he watched you walk into just a little over half an hour ago. Courage. He needed a lot of it to approach you about this. How would he broach the topic?

"Hey, I've seen you naked, and now all I can think of is bending you over this table and--"

Yeah there was no way.

So instead, he glanced down absentmindedly at his phone and checked his notifications. A text from a groupmate, a notification that his professor put his homework grade in, some mobile game reminder, and a notification that you had just uploaded a new photo.

…?

Just now?

His brain went into autopilot as he tugged his phone closer to him so no passerbys could see what he was about to open.

You really did just post. It was a picture of your legs spread open underneath the dining hall table. You weren’t wearing any panties under your skirt--that was obvious--but you had covered up the sight of your pretty pussy with your other palm.

You had just taken this photo. Kuroo had to conjure up pictures of kittens, puppies, and volleyball tactics to force himself not to pop a boner in public.

The door next to him creaked open, and he quickly hid his phone against his chest so no one could see the screen.

“Kuroo?”

Your voice was familiar. He had dreamed of it calling his name an embarrassing amount of times at this point. But now, he felt like hiding away in shame.

“Y/N,” he greeted dumbly, forcing a smile onto his face. His cheeks were red. Just seconds ago, he was staring at your--

“Are you alright?” you asked worriedly. You stopped right in front of him, raising your hand to place gently on his forehead. “What’re you doing out here? You’re red--did you catch a cold?”

His eyes trailed slowly down from your furrowed brows, your concerned gaze, your tempting lips, until they stopped at the way your skirt was fluttering in the wind. You were so close, he was practically inhaling your scent.

“I..” his composure was slipping. “I was waiting...for you.”

You blinked, clearly surprised. You two weren’t close enough for him to wait for you after lunch...for anything, really. Your confusion was evident on your expression as you slowly tilted your head to the side, waiting for him to continue.

“...I wanted to talk to you,” he exhaled slowly, pulling your hand away from his forehead and holding it firmly in his own. Your brows furrowed further in confusion, and your lips parted to speak before he cut you off.

“You’re not wearing panties, are you?”

That certainly left you speechless. You stared up at him with wide eyes, silent as he gazed down at you.

“...how’d you know?” you finally asked, pressing your thighs together and feeling the heat gather between them now that you've been caught. His gaze trailed down slowly to observe the way you held your skirt down in response to a strong gust of wind that blew by.

“You never struck me as a type to make an OnlyFans, you know,” he murmured quietly, dark eyes finally flickering back up to meet yours. “Not in high school, at least.”

“We all have our secrets, don’t we? You never struck me as the type to buy your high school volleyball club’s manager’s OnlyFans,” you countered.

“Touche,” he grinned, confidence returning. “I was waiting here for you because I have a proposition.”

You quirked a brow.

“I may be able to help with your content,” he murmured, stepping closer and sliding a hand between your legs. You gasped, eyes widening quickly as you placed a hand on his chest. His large palm cupped your bare heat, easily slipping underneath your skirt to press the base of his palm against your clit before pulling away. Your legs trembled from the suddenness of his actions, cheeks heating up quickly as you averted your gaze.

“...why don’t you come over to my apartment so we can discuss that a bit more?” you asked with a shaky voice, and Kuroo’s smirk grew as he swung an arm around your shoulder, tugging you into his side.

“Lead the way then, manager.”

--

You had barely managed to stop Kuroo from pouncing onto you the moment your front door closed behind the two of you. You had over a hundred questions for him. When did he buy your OnlyFans, how did he find it, whether or not any of your mutual friends had seen it, and many more.

But you didn’t have the time. The instant he stepped into your apartment, he was pressing his lips to yours heatedly. You murmured a weak “bed, please--” against his lips before he pulled away and lifted you up into his arms. Your head was spinning, and before you knew it, your back was hitting your mattress and Kuroo was climbing over you.

He hovered over you for a second, gazing down at you--right in front of him. Now, he could see everything. He didn’t have to look at you through a screen, and he wasn’t obstructed by a paywall.

“Let’s start,” he practically purred as he fished his phone from his jeans, tossing it into your palms. “With a few test shots.”

You looked so cute lying beneath him with your hair splayed out around you, your lips parted to ask what he meant. With a quiet chuckle, he tilted your chin up towards him and leaned down to kiss you again. This time, his tongue slipped past your lips and slid up against yours. He poked and prodded at every inch of your mouth, absorbing the way you moaned and wrapped your arms loosely around his shoulders.

“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled against your lips as he pulled back slowly, half-lidded eyes gazing down at your flushed expression and the way you leaned up to try and brush your lips over his once more.

Reluctantly, he pulled back and laughed as you whined softly.

“Test shots?” you asked curiously while he shifted so he was kneeling at the end of your bed.

“Mhm,” he responded simply as he wrapped his arms around your thighs. “You’ll see.”

You let out a loud yelp as he suddenly yanked you towards the edge of the bed. He easily hoisted your thighs up and practically folded you in half. Kuroo spread your legs far apart and pressed your knees towards your shoulders, his firm hands keeping your trembling thighs in place.

“Ah, you look so cute like this,” he mused with a pleased sigh as he lifted himself up so he could lean up and peck your lips. “Take some nice photos for me, ‘kay?”

“Kuroo--”

“Tetsu works just fine,” he grinned as he kneeled on the ground in front of you. Your fingers fumbled to unlock his phone and pull the camera up as he lightly bit down on the edge of your skirt. With his teeth, he slowly tugged your skirt up to expose your bare pussy.

You pressed record just as his breath fanned over your heat. Slowly, he ran the flat of his tongue up your wet slit, flicking his tongue over your clit. Your thighs twitched under his palms as you inhaled sharply. The camera shook slightly in your palms as you captured an image of Kuroo’s skillful tongue running over your clit.

“Tetsu,” you whimpered, and he felt like he might cum in his pants just from the way you said his name. Slowly, he began to swirl his tongue around your sensitive bud as he pulled one hand away from your thighs to press slowly between your folds. Without being able to help it, your hips jolted forward and a weak whine left your parted lips as his index and middle finger started to spread your tight walls open.

“Tetsu--please--” you gasped as your free hand grasped his hair, tugging at him lightly to press your dripping pussy harder against his tongue. The former captain merely smirked and wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking slowly.

Your grip on his hair tightened, and your back arched off the bed as you moaned. Kuroo was surprised you were even still holding onto his phone, capturing the way he made you fall apart on his tongue. Finally, he pulled back and stood so he could watch the way your chest rose and fell quickly, your wet cunt dripping all over your sheets. He licked his lips, savoring the way you tasted on his tongue.

“C’mere, baby girl,” he purred as he leaned down to press his lips to yours. You accepted him openly, moaning into his mouth and nipping lightly at his lower lip once the two of you part for air.

“You wanna feel my cock?” he asked quietly as he trailed kisses slowly down to your neck. He pulled back just far enough so he could pull his fingers from your tight cunt and press them to your lips. Your fingers wrapped around his wrist, holding his hand in place as your tongue slipped between his index and middle finger to savor every drop of your wetness he’d offered you.

Kuroo watched in awe as you pressed a soft kiss to his palm, murmuring a quiet ‘yes, please’ against his skin.

His cock felt painfully hard in his jeans. His phone was long discarded on your sheets, but he still reached for it and placed it back into your hands. You whined as a protest, but he gently pecked your lips with a small smirk.

“Be a good girl and take pictures for your fans, alright?” his hand gripped your chin, pulling your gaze up to his dark one. “Show them who you belong to.”

Obediently, you nodded and watched as Kuroo finally unzipped his jeans, and pulled his erect cock from his boxers. You trained the camera on the way he positioned himself easily between your thighs, your free hand reaching up to cup his cheek as he leaned down to kiss you deeply.

“Such a good girl, your pussy nice and creamy all over my cock,” he growled as he slowly started to grind himself against your wet cunt. He slipped the base of his shaft between your folds, sliding himself up and down your lower lips. Each time the tip of his length thrusted up against your clit, your hips jolted into him.

“So wet for me, aren’t you?” He praised as his pace started to quicken. You could feel how hard he was against you. Every twitch and throb of his cock against your heat had you closer and closer to cumming all over him.

“Tetsu,” you managed to whimper out between breathy moans. “Can you cum for me?”

He laughed breathlessly, leaning down to capture your lips in a messy kiss. Pulling back, he whispered softly, “That’s my line, baby girl.”

Seconds later, he was burying his face into the crook of your neck as his hands gripped your sheets firmly. His hips spasmed as his rhythm became sporadic, and his thrusts started to become frantic and needy. Soon, as you moaned out words of encouragement, he groaned loudly and came to the sound of you calling his name. His cock twitched and shuddered as he came all over your bare pussy.

At the same time, your legs shook and trembled as his hot cock grinded against your sensitive clit. You came while crying out his name, thighs shaking around him as he continues to slowly rub his length up and down your folds.

Kuroo pulled away from your neck to admire his work. His cock slid along your twitching cunt, covered in his cum. With a proud grin, he took two fingers and smeared his cum all over your bare pussy. You whined softly, the feeling of overstimulation causing you to close your thighs tight around his wrist before trying to squirm away.

He laughed softly as you tried to catch your breath. He hurried to your bathroom to grab a towel to clean up the mess. When he came back, you were laying in the same spot with your legs hanging off the bed, scrolling through the pictures you had managed to take.

“How’d they turn out?” He asked curiously while gently wiping his load off your heat. Your hips twitched as you lifted your head to smile brightly at him.

“Should I split the profit with you?” you teased just as he tossed the towel to the side and helped you lay properly in bed.

“That’d be ideal, I was the other model, after all,” he snickered and leaned over so he could look through the photos again.

“Think I’m gonna make this one the public one,” you stopped at a picture of your fingers threaded through his messy black hair, his face buried in your cunt.

“Yeah?” He crawled on top of you with a smirk. You laughed as he slipped himself between your arms, cuddling up against you and burying his face in your chest.

“Mhm. But I think I’m saving this one as a special message for those who pay a little extra. What do you think?”

He looked up, following your gaze to the image on his phone screen.

The picture was one of him standing between your spread thighs, his cock pressed right up against your wet pussy, taken right after he came and covered you with his thick cum. The sight made his cock twitch and harden quickly against your thigh.

Your eyes widened as you turned your gaze to him before you sat up slightly.

“Tetsu, you’re already--?!”

He grinned and pressed a soft kiss against your neck as he swat his phone out of your hand. Lacing his fingers with yours, he flipped himself over so he could hover above you. Leaning down, he pecked your lips and laughed as you rolled your eyes.

“Wanna go another round?”

[queenieloveswriting]

Little orange bottles

A/N unedited little thing from a while ago, found loads of bits in my notes on my phone read this and though id post it let me know your thoughts ////hella old ngl sounds like shit srry ladsssss xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxTW--Abuse//Blood//Bad thoughs ig sorry not good w warnings sorry if this triggers anhyone 

*beep     beep     beep*

Your alarm rang through the room for what seemed to be the fifth time this morning.It was now 6:30am and school began in two hours unlike the majority of students in kildare county you enjoyed school and, your (only) friend pope definitely made it worthwile.You both loved school,people like his friends jj and John b didn’t like school.

Why are you awake at 6:30 again?....right!

You look over to yourself in your mirror and glance at your schedule sticky taped to the corner; 

*DAISYS SCHEDULE*

6:30-wake up

6:45-shower

7:00-get ready

7:20-read

7:50-breakfast/pillz 

8:00-head to Heywards

Obeying the list, you hopped into the shower and got yourself prepared for the day, brushing your teeth washing your face and applying a light amount of makeup. A tinted moisturiser, clear mascara and brow gel, In attempt to tame your wild hair you collected into a cute messy ponytail, breaking three hair bands in the possess. Putting your glasses on you choose your outfit, due to the heat you opted for something casual, a blue denim skirt with a black crop top and a oversized blue flannel top  covering  just to the bottom of you skirt 

You went downstairs and packed some fruit into your bag. Opting to take your breakfast as today's lunch, knowing Mrs. Heyward would invite you in for ‘leftovers’ from their breakfast. Shouting  goodbye to your mum who was no doubt still in bed exhausted from her night shift.

Running out the door grabbing your phone, headphones and favourite book ‘to kill a mockingbird’. I plugged in my headphones playing my ‘reading playlist’ and read as i walked up to heywards,occasionally looking up so I don’t walk into any unwanted attention. The third time checking your surroundings you realise you made it to popes in record time, because his mom came out ushering you and him in in for ‘leftovers’ .Pope rolled his eyes sending you   a silent apology. You didn’t mind though she was more a mother to you than your actual blood.

“Hey nerd "pope greeted you pushing your glasses up your nose 

“Hey geek” you replied, slapping his hands away, he pulled you into a quick hug and followed h8im and his mum into the kitchen.

“Whatcha reading this time?”he asked making you laugh slightly “Harper lee my friend” you replied  holding up your book as he rolled his eyes “why am I not surprised ,you know the book doesn't change right every time you read it "he asked playfully “I know pope, but it’s a classic and i don’t have enough to get a new book until my shift next week so I’m not complaining “you sassed

“Yeah you're know that I’ve said you can borrow my books anytime “he asked

“Yeah but you won’t let me write notes in the margins pope! "you explained “because what about MY notes “he exclaimed and you both erupted into laughter.God,you're such geeks you mentally sighed.Mrs.Heyward scolded at us both for arguing and gave us some pancakes and fruit.

Mr.Heward barged through the doors shouting about some ‘arrogant snotty kook man’ and turned around shily when he heard you and pope laughing. "daisy hey sweetheart you need me to save you or you alright?” he asked, referring to his wife’s overwhelming mothering. You shook your head quietly declining his offer, smiling you replied “no sir it's fine, "you laughed "Heyward you need any help with deliveries?” you asked hopeful as you needed to buy some things for school. Being a pogue you tended to have to fend yourself, plus it gave you something to do. “Sure do doll, tomorrow morning,7 sharp you’n’my boy can help out and pope make sure you ask that Maybank if he's helping out too, need to know who goes so y'all come back alive”he joked”thank you sir”you shouted as he was halfway out the door.Turning back round to pope “maybank?” you asked, raising your eyebrow hinting you had absolutely no idea who he was talking about,”my friend jj you know the blonde who gets into all the fights i told you about”he answered and you nodded,still searching for an answer ”he's coming tomorrow?” you quizzed “yeah probably,plus i think it's about time you met my friends they all think i made you up”he laughed”c'mon we've gotta eat then go”

As if on queue Mrs Heyward shouted at you from across the hall telling you to eat before it got cold.After scoffing your breakfast down,it was time to leave.After regular smothering from your second mother you left.

“Sorry about them”he mumbled 

“It’s fine it’s nice having the whole parents as parents thing you know”you said .Pope knew about your mom not being around or well really a mom.He said you could come round whenever assuring his parents you were just friends,they loved you.

He nodded”you know your welcome whenever”he said and you nodded again

“Yeah but anyways how you feeling today about mrs.spiky hairs test smartass”you joked “we gon ace it y'all ready know her tests are easy”he dragged 

“True I’ve got all a’s every time”you smirked 

“Yeah same but to be fair even my friend John b could pass them and he didn't know that there were two different there’s until junior year so....”

You laughed “wait I though that jj was the the dumb one”you asked “there both delinquents but gotta love em.I’m brains of the operation anyways it’s my thang ”he sang causing you to laugh at the way he pinched his shirt and pingged it brushing dirt of his shoulders “you should come to the party tonight and meet them if you want?”he asked and you shook your head “i dont know pope,party’s and me aren’t really a good thing you know how my anxiety gets in groups”you said and he nodded “i know it’s fine don’t worry about it but offers there when you want you could even come out just us on the pouge if you wanted “he offered “they really wanna meet me?”you asked “well they wanna meet MY competition “he challenged “not really a competition there bud” you teased patting his shoulder “but I’ll think about it yeah?”you offered “sounds good and here we are” you turned facing each other then back at the school making your way inside.

“Hey i told jj I’d meet with him just before first  lesson give him his homework see you there”you gave him a confused look “they go here?”he laughed “yeah didn’t i tell you”you shook your head no “sorry see you in 10 nerd”he waved “in 10 geek”you repli,ex

Waiting for class to start,you set up outside your classroom and put your headphones back in continuing your book. The vibration of the bell and stampedes of teenagers scurry to their first lesson , you ended up waiting for pope who practically ran down the hall and laughed when your eyes met.

 You went in taking your seats next to each other this happened up until break. then lunch you’d go to all your lessons together hang out at break,being antisocial in the library, but at lunch he’s always go off,with the pogues you assume,now knowing they go to your school.At lunch you go outside and walk to the bleachers and sit reading basking in the sun.

After your  last lesson with pope you both headed home together dropping him off at heywards halfway.

“Mom I’m home”you shouted slamming the door dropping the keys on the sideboard .After no reply you expected her to be at work so you got started on your homework so you could”relax” on the weekend.

It was now 6:30,and pope texted you telling you the party started at seven and the offer was still up before you could reply,you heard your door slam shut and you ran downstairs hoping you could talk to your mum,and catch up.

You see her figure reach for a cupboard that hasn’t been opened in years  left. this was bad.

“Hey mama how was work”you asked with a shaky breath 

She glared swigging the bottle 

“You know what sweetie “she spat “Mama don’t have to go to work an more you wanna know why because i got fired from work apparently they couldn’t handle me anymore,took to many people on,so sweetie work was fucking awful OK”she shouted 

“Oh mum I'm sorry what are you going to do i mean i think the heyw--“

“Oh shut up you’re so pathetic you know,I mean you inside on a Friday night? should you be out like a normal teenager huh?god”she scoffed 

“What mom I-“by now half the bottle was empath,being drank with such desperation 

“I’ll get another  job I’ve already got the heywards they can give me more time and an I-I’ll  get a side job we’ll be fine w-we have dads money too”

“Sont talk about hijm!It’s your fault your father left you fucking incompetent piece of shit you make everyone want to leave,no wonder you have no friends. I mean look at you your pathetic  you know these people in your books there not real DAISY god why can’t you just be normal you drove everyone away.this is your fault”

Tears were now threatening your eyes,but as you looked into the person infront of you,you didnt see sadness,you saw anger,you saw red. 

“Mum Im sorry i-ill-“

Before you could say anything she downed the rest of the bottle and threw it at you.glass smashing everywhere cutting you up.your whole arm started to bleed as you cried out in pain your mum hit you,ran out and slammed the door shut.

she hit you.hit you.you ran upstairs not bothering to protect  your arm wrapping  it up in an old shirt.you needed your best friend,you didn't have many friends but he was yours you knew that nothing anyone said could change your friendship 

So you called him running out of your house in todays clothes covered in blood like you’d been in a fucking horror movie 

“Heyyy daisy you change your mind”he answered the phone 

“Hey pope I-I need some help my mom a-are you still at a-at the p-party”you stuttered 

“Woah woah breathe daisy where are you I’ll come get you okay”

“I’m near the boneyard you still there I-I’m sor-ry f-for calling i didn’t kn—“

He cut you off “no shut up it’s fine where are you,are you hurt what happened?”

“My arm s-she h-hit b-bottle “

“Fuck where are you daisy “

“Oh-oh my god there’s so many people here”you were sure you were having a panic attack by now,-you could barely breathe

“Wait daisy I-i see you I’m coming okay wait there”

“O-okay”

Hanging up the phone you were now just balling your eyes out in pain and hurt. You curled up into a ball only looking up when you  could hear pope shouting in the distance.

“Shit daisy”he shouted 

“I’m sorry I didn’t know where to go,my mum she she my arm I- I”

Pope wasn’t unfamiliar to your panic attacks,usually being  the one to calm you from them,/

“Daisy breath okay”he stroked your hair making you look into his eyes 

“What happened “he asked and you showed him your arm “shit daisy that’s close to a main artery your losing loads of blood C'mon let’s get you cleaned up back at the chateau “you just nodded following him his hand holding yours hiding you from the people as you walked past. Arriving at a group of people probably his friends,the pogues,. As your vision begins to go hazy you think that maybe your mum was right you are pathetic .He was out on a Friday night ,I looked like the whole damn school was here.he has his life maybe he didn’t want to be your friend maybe he didn’t want to just hurt you .realizing you were fading out he shook you “shit daisy no no no “he cursed“John b keys I need the keys”you heard him say and they were saying something about him getting some “dude shut up this is daisy she’s hurt “you heard him say and all of them looked at you,but you couldn’t bring your eyes too meet them.Soon enough pope was dragging you away and towards a shack,the chateau.

He dragged you inside and you were sitting on the Island In the kitchen/living room,this was a home.

where was your home now?.

“Here lemme see ''he pulled your arm and started to work. It didn’t surprise you he was so good at this he was always good at first aid but this?

Lucky it wasn't on a actual artery but the blood made it look worse,acknowledging the fact you'd been so quiet,he spoke up “hey D look at me “he said pointing your chin up,looking at you straight in your eyes”what happened,when your ready”he asked.As your breathing steadied,you began to speak “my mom,she got back from work sh-she just lost her job a-and”you stuttered,pausing to collect your breathe 

“hey it’s okay take your time okay”he calmed you”she hasn’t drank since..”you stopped and he looked in your eyes.Pope knew all about your dad,leaving you when you were about to go into junior year,you never knew why but one day he was their next he wasn’t,pope helped you through it,when you began to get closer.

“Your dad?”he answers for you 

You nodded

“She said that it-it was my fault that he left and that she lost her job an”you gulped,recomposing yourself“How I push everyone away and that’s why I have no friends I mean let’s face it”laughiing a breathy laugh “she’s right”popes head snapped up “Daisy!you have me,D its okay I’m you best friend and you know she’s wrong okay now this is going to hurt”he assured you,before you could ask questions your arm burned up from the straight alcohol he’d put on your arm “FUCK POPE SHIT WARNING PLEASE FUCK”you shouted and he laughed,frowning when he came too “Sorry,shit this is bad daisy,like really bad,I dont know what to do,I can just wrap it up But ii think you should go to the hospital“he said and before you could fight,a deep voice filled the room.

“What the fuck is going on pope”curse from the back of the room.After observing the heaps of bloody tissues and your T-shirt laying next to you“What the fuck happened to her man,who is this?”he asked pope who looked up at you,asking the silent of’should i tell him’ you shook your head with pleading eyes 

Pity took over popes vision as he answered JJ’s question“Jj this is  daisy,daisy jj”he introduced you and you sighed,finally meeting the blue eyed boy with watery vision“hey,sorry we,urm, woke,you”you stuttered “oh i wasn’t sleeping princess”he winked causing you to furror your eyebrows at the boy you heard stories about ,following up to the elephant int he room.”what happened”he asked,re-observing your surroundings,eyes finally meeting your bloody arm “holy shit you gotta fucking c-cat or something”he demanded .Before you could awnser,a half naked girl stumbled out of his room,pouting

“oh you really weren’t joking when you said you weren’t asleep”you giggle then pope accidentally pressed to hard into your arm making you scream “fuck pope Jesus fucking shit”you cursed 

“Fuck I’m sorry but its clean and the plasters won’t do much but I’ll wrap it up anyways i still think you might have to go to hospital”you shook your head “no no no no  I can’t pope you know that”he sighed “look nerd you know where she cut look how close that is daisy okay” pointing to your bandaged arm jjs eyebrows furrowed in confusion

You tore away from his gaze to the the floors 

“Hey jj,what's taking so long sweets”his guest said,in a thick country accent causing him too sigh turning around going back into his room.You don’t know what he said but five minuets later she was storming out the rusted doors,huffing and puffing, and left and he walked back to you two 

“Sorry”you looked at him and his eyes softened.You were gorgeous and so innocent who would do this to you?.he asked himself”don’t be she was to Whiny anyways you saved me”you smiled ,slightly rolling your eyes at the player you'd been warned from.

“Daisy”pope snapped you back to reality “hospital?”

“Pope I can’t I-I’ll just go home and-“you babbled

”no no way you're not going back there daisy okay not if your moms like she is right now”he said under his breath in attempt to be secretive

“Your mom?”jj thought out loud and you just looked at him,mentally cursing yourself 

Ignoring the blondes “you know i can’t do that pope”you mumbled looking down. 

“Why”he snapped

“Because I live there pope”you paused,forgetting the blonde”you know and it’s not like this is new, you know it’ll blow over”you urged,trying to convince yourself 

“And what if i doesn't daisy”he quizzed” what are you going to do then”he asked causing you to freeze and stand in silence. 

You walked up and hugged him,stifling a sob.Skilfully dodging your arm,you let go of him and held his stare. 

“Pope,your my best friend, okay?Well my only friend. You know that, but you gotta understand why I’ve gotta go home,Besides, she’s probably not even in,she left straight after, she’s probably out okay”you insisted”I’ve got that job with you and your dad tomorrow I’ll see you okay”you insisted

After some silence he looked at you,”I’ll drive you home okay and if she’s there your coming back to mine”he hissed”You can crash in the couch like you did last time okay “he urged”let me just go talk to jj okay”he said leaving you in the kitchen ,now only realizing the blonde had left the room.After overhearing some not-so hushed whispers,pope came out followed by a blonde who carried an angered but also slightly pained expression that left you wondering what pope said in there.Did he tell him about your mum?

After snatching the keys from the side,where you left them,he led you guys into the van.You and pope got into the back and he and just hugged you there it was nice he calms you and you calm him .“Hey pope”you break the silence“Yeah”he returned“Sorry”you apologised“Stop”he spat.

You looked up to him,eyebrows arching up in confusion“What?”you pleaded,provoking him to roll his eyes and your tendency to apologise after any slight inconvenience“Doing it”he grumbled“Doing what”you urged,oblivious to what was annoying him“You always apologise,after everything”he answered letting out a slightly breathy laugh“Sorry”you laugh realising you already subconsciously apologised.“See what I mean”he tutted“Right but thank you”you pushed“Always nerd”he promised“Geek”you sassed,falling into a comfortable silence,enjoying who you considered your family now

“Hey daisy” he broke the silence

“Hm”you humed

“Did you take them today”he asked,you sighed

“I thought I’d be okay pope,i was i promise”you pleaded

“Daisy”he sighed

“I hate them pope,they make me feel so deflated,they make me feel  like a monster”you mumbled into his shoulder

“You have to take them daisy you know that”he scolded

“I’m know i Just”you paused

“I know”he cut in 

“I don’t want to be a monster anymore pope”

“Your not a monster daisy,i promise,you're amazing bub”he praised

Finally pulling up to your house,met with a cleaver driveway you turned back to pope who was checking for the same thing you were “see”you deflated”i'll be fine see you in the morning,7 sharp kids” you teases in his dad's warning tone 

“Daisy i still think you should come back to mine  i don't think you’ll b--”

You pleaded his anxious babbling with a kiss on the cheek”see you in the morning”you demanded and he sighed

You popped your head through to the front

“Thank you for the ride jj sorry about interrupting your night” you apologised and he smiled at you”no worries princess,we oughta be seeing you in daylight too though”he asked “maybe blondie”you winked giving pope one last hug before you made your way through the door,treading carefully,just to be safe.

[liquor-and-intellect]

Clouded- Part 5

In which Jules might or might not have feelings for her best friend, Harry, who is getting engaged to another girl and everything just becomes… more complicated.

or

friends to lovers to enemies to lovers- it’s complicated

previous parts

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARRY EDWARD STYLES. SRRY FOR THE CONCERT CANCELLATION! Hope this maybe brightens someone’s day.

PART FIVE

After getting Harry's text, I ran to my mirror and pushed a brush through my hair. Why did I suddenly care what I looked like in front of him?

Disgusted with myself, I walked out of the bathroom, rolling my eyes at how fucking dumb I was acting.

After the other night at the club, my mind has been racing. I haven't been able to focus on my homework, or even the long lectures in class. Every time I remotely closed my eyes, I thought of Harry.

We ended things on such good terms the other night and I felt it was a sign—it was sign that things could actually work. I could actually push aside the idea that he would be mad at me about the pregnancy and we could be a family. An actual family.

The guilt that I let him kiss me when I haven't told him about the baby was still there in the back of my mind… And I tried unsuccessfully to suppress it.

Fifteen minutes after his urgent text, there was a short knock on the door before. It happened too quickly for me to process because then Harry Styles was standing in my living room—wide-eyed and captivating, making me dizzy with his presence.  

He let out a breathless laugh, as if he had been running. “You should keep that locked, Jules,” he said, his eyes trailing up my body and his voice like a silky nightgown clinging to my body.

I fought the urge to run to him and kiss him again.

“I knew someone was itching to come and see me, so I left it open,” I told him, watching the beautiful twinkle in his green eyes.

He let out a breath, closing the door behind him slowly before turning around to face me. “I need to tell you something,” he began, his eccentric booth clicking as he approached me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Me too.” I had to tell him now. Now before I lost my nerve.

He nodded. “Me first,” he breathed, a smile forming on his lips.

I shook my head, holding my hands up to stop him. I couldn't lose my courage. “No, really. I need to tell you first,” I said urgently, I pleaded with my eyes hoping he would see how desperate I was to get this out.

Harry's smile grew bigger. “I just need to get this out, Jules. Listen,” he said, grabbing my face in his hands. Fuck, was a I sucker for his touch. “I trust you with my life-”

“Harry, please listen to me.”

“No. I need you to listen to me, love” he groaned. “I know you trust me too. I also know that we don't keep secrets from one another. So, I have to tell you this.”

“Harry-” I said more firmly.

Then, his phone ringing loud and obnoxious, halting our back and forth conversation.

He sighed, removing his hands from my now cold cheeks to pull his phone from his trousers’ pocket.

“I need to take this— it's management,” he said looking up to me like I would be angry for some reason. I needed a minute to breath any way.

I nodded, releasing a long breath and riding out the word, “okay” on my exhale.

He walked toward my bedroom. “I'll be right back. Then we will resume this conversation, little lady!” He kept his eyes on me, a light air to his gaze and a chuckle on his lips before he disappeared into my room, causing me to slump against the wall in exhaustion.

Harry's P.O.V

I sat in Julia's bathroom, listening to a producer give instructions for the next recording session and how I would need to a few creative ideas ready for next Friday. My leg was bouncing at the knee as I extended it from the edge of the bathtub. There was so much I needed to say to Jules right now that I couldn't waste my time listening to work problems. We had already wasted so much.

When he finally hung up, I put my phone away, taking a quick look in the mirror. There was a slight throb in my temple from lack of sleep from the night before accompanied by a new dark circle tucked in the crevices below my eyes. I hadn't eaten anything this morning either on my rush to leave my flat and I felt a headache arising. I wouldn't let anything ruin this day, though.

I opened up a cabinet glancing around to see if Jules had any aspirin. I found her toothbrush in the top one, so I moved to a bottom drawer. Looking down to see her hairbrush, I pushed it away to close it when something caught my eye.

A pregnancy test.

I could hear my blood pumping through my ears, when I reached down and picked it up. My eyes focused on the two positive lines.

“What the fuck,” I mumbled, shoving her hair bands around when two more white sticks came into my view. Shakily, my hands clasped around them and I felt my mind go blank at the repeating positive lines… mocking me.

Jules didn't—so these had to be... Those tests had to be hers and I was... There was no way though, we told each other everything. We promised to be truthful from now on. She wouldn't keep a secret like this from me.

Would she?

I felt my blood pulsing in my wrists as my hand clenched tightly around the plastic. She lied to me. She fucking lied to my face.

I swallowed a lump in my throat and walked out of the bathroom, my breathing irregular and harsh, catching itself on each intake on the lump arising in my throat.

…

Harry had been gone for at least fifteen minutes and the suspense was killing me.

As much as I had to tell him a part of me wanted to know what he was going to say before I blew it all. I just wanted to hear the words he was yearning to get out of him, maybe I wasn't alone in this. Maybe we were both drowning in the same ocean and maybe we could both go under together.

I knew once I told him though, that he wouldn't tell me. He would most likely cave in on himself for a couple of days, he would need time. Jeff had warned me about that, he told me I needed to be strong for him. Now, standing in my living room, hands wringing themselves nervously, I was as strong as I would ever be.

My head snapped up when I heard boots in the hall and I focused on a familiar silhouette underneath the doorway.

I don't give it a second of hesitation. “I really need to speak first-” I start but am cut off.

“Don't,” he spits, his eyes razors cutting through me and his voice just as sharp. “Don't you dare tell me one more fucking bullshit lie or I swear-” he laughs humorlessly “- I'm done. I will walk out of here and never have to see you again.”

My eyes widen and my heart skipping beats like pebbles. It wasn't pleasant either, painful and sharp and I was afraid that I would have a stroke right here in the middle of this. “Harry-” I don't know what I would have said, but it didn't matter.

“What is this?” he screams, his voice cracking like broken windows as he throws an object in the air and a thud sounding in front of me.

It was in slow motion that I looked down and saw the pearly pregnancy test at my feet.

No, no, no. This was all wrong. He wasn't supposed to find out like this.

“Harry, you don't understand,” I begged, urging him to hear the truth in my voice.

He shakes his head back and forth furiously. “No, you don't get to say that me.” A shaky hand raised to point at my trembling figure and I noticed in his tight grip are my other pregnancy tests. “Are you pregnant?” he asked, his voice catching on the word like it would destroy everything. And in that moment—I swear—it did.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. This had to be a nightmare. “Yes, but listen-”

“It's not mine,” he cut me off. “you were sleeping with Elaine's cousin, weren't you? There's no way that's my kid, there's no way.”

“Sleeping with Elaine's cousin?” I repeated. “what kind of person do you think I am?”

He threw his hands up in the air, the other tests raining down on us like a twisted type of storm. “Apparently I don't know what kind of person you are at all! You lied to me!”

That hurt, but I tried to shove it aside. I needed him to see, to understand that he was looking at this the wrong way. “I was trying to find the right time to tell you! If you haven't noticed you've been busy planning a wedding— what was I supposed to do?”

“What were you supposed-” he raked his hands through his hair, looking desperately around the room. I've never seen him this livid. “You think- this isn't my child... There's no way.”

I scoffed, my anger flaring that he would suggest anything other. “Well no one else was shoving me up against walls in the past month!” I spit.

“Shut up!” he screamed, his hand flying to my lamp by the couch. A crash sounded as it hit the floor, the pieces busting into something so unrecognizable it could never be repaired. That lamp would never be the way it once was before it was swiped from its comfortable spot.

I flinched.

“Do you think I feel good about cheating on my fiancé'?” he asked.

I kept my eyes on the busted lamp, my mouth opening before I could stop it. “You had to have felt good about something because you kept coming back,” I muttered, the words sour as they spilled out and I immediately wanted to choke them back, press rewind and chose a different path that didn’t have us here.

Harry laughed, the sound echoing off these fragile walls. “I really don't know you anymore, Julia,” he spit.

I looked back up at him, because using my birthname against me hurt more than I anticipated. “You know me better than anyone else and you know that.”

He shook his head. “No, you just want to believe that.”

I raked my hands through my hair, pulling at my scalp in frustration. “I was going to tell you today, I swear.”

He snorted. “Yeah, I bet you were. I bet that was your plan this entire time.” His voice lifted a couple more notches. “I bet you wanted to knock yourself up so I couldn't go anywhere and I would have to ruin my relationship with Elaine.” I stopped breathing. “I'm not sticking around for whatever you have planned next,” he said venomously and pushed passed me to the door.

“Don't you dare walk out like this!” I screamed at him, in more desperation for him to hear me out than in actual anger. I wasn't so much as mad right now but hurt at how he could say these things to me. How did we get ourselves here?

“What do you want me to do?” He turned around on his heel to sharpen his hardened eyes on me. “You want me to play along with your game of house? You want me to drop everything for you and this baby all because you said please?” His voice that I loved so much, the one that ran silk up my spine now wrapped around my throat and threatened to choke me.

“I never said that, I just want you to hear me out,” I groaned.

His jaw twitched and I swore in that moment he hated me. He hated the sight of me and my voice and that single thought made me want to crawl under my bed and never come out again. “You had your chance to talk,” he snapped. “Apparently you're to coward to do that. Even if I ever would have dropped everything for you Julia, you just made sure that I never will want to do that again.”

“Stop!” I yelled at him. “Do you fucking hear yourself? This isn't you, Harry. You're just mad right now. Please, can we talk about this like adults?” Even if it was true, by the look on his face I knew I shouldn't have said it.

The veins in his neck strained like taut cords and his face twisted into something unrecognizable. “You don't get to do that,” he growled. “You don't get to act like you know me.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

His heavy breathing was the only sound filling the room, his eyes cutting through me like lasers.

“What am I supposed to do?” I cried finally. I was at a loss for any kind of ammunition I might have had. “This is your child as well as mine,” I said, exhausted. “What am I supposed to do?”

His eyes shifted a bit, I would almost say that they softened for a split second before changing back to the cold green that I was so unaccustomed to. “I don't know,” he said, looking away from me and his voice taking on a deadly calm. “Frankly, I don't care either.” He reached down to grab his jacket by the door. “I just hope you don't expect a wedding invitation in the mail,” he mumbled.

“Harry,” I gasped as if he had physically held fire to my skin and singed my flesh.

Harry turned, as if he was about to walk out the door, his head glancing back at me. “You know,” he said. “I didn't believe you when you said we were robbers… back at the club.”

I was silent.

“You were right, though.” His voice was hoarse. “You just took everything.” He slammed the door behind him before I could process what he just said.

The wind was knocked out of me. My lungs were collapsing and failing as my only way of breath pulled further and further from me.

I wanted to run after him, my brain was yelling at my limbs to get their shit together and move but they were frozen from lack of oxygen moving throughout my body. They were becoming more and more numb before I realized that I wasn't standing anymore, but rather falling and spiraling down into some where unknown.

The floor was hard as I landed on it, my ears buzzing erratically. A flash of red caught my attention as I glanced down and realized that my hand had fallen on a piece of a broken lamp. I couldn't feel the pain, I could just see it seeping from my core and I could only imagine how it must have felt. Because—right now—I was numb.

I was trembling, lying in a pile of broken glass. My vision failing as I recognized the symptoms of a panic attack. I crawled on the floor towards my purse where I kept the bottle of benzodiazepines, my hands throwing everything out and across the floor before clutching onto the bottle like an actual lifeline.

I couldn't get it open.

I pulled and twisted but my hands were too weak, they wouldn't properly grasp the edges the way they were meant too.

I screamed in frustration. All I needed was the pill, the pill that walked straight out of my life and out the door. He left me—he just left.

The bottle popped open and my hands shakily poured the bottle into my hand, all of them falling from my grasp onto wood. As I bent over on my knees in the glass, I was aware of the tears falling down my face to mix with my life on the floor.

Finally clutching one pill I pushed it past my lips and waited for the calming aid to kick in.

…

Harry's P.O.V

“You said what to her?” Jeff screamed, his eyes livid and his jaw tight. He stood defensively with his fists clenched.

“She lied to me!” I roared back, offended by his accusations. “She fucking lied to me, Jeff!”

Jeff took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair. “Harry, that doesn't excuse the fact that you basically called her worthless. Do you not fucking care for her that much?”

I scoffed. “Of course, I care for her,” I spat. I cared so much that it fucking tightened my chest.

He crossed his arms. “Then why did you say those things? Just to make her feel like nothing?”

I rolled my eyes. I don't know why I said those things. She made me so unbelievably mad that I had no control over the words pouring from my hurt.

After I had stormed out and drove around London for two hours, I found myself on Jeff's doorstep with red rimmed eyes and a pulsing headache. He knew. I don't know how. But he had nodded and opened the door wider for me to walk in with a simple, “did she tell you?”

I had collapsed on his couch, my head in my hands and told him the blur that was my memory of that morning. Every single knife I threw at her and the screaming at the top of my lungs that I had given. I was the lowest of the low when it came to my fight with Julia. No woman ever deserves to hear that… My mum would be ashamed.

“I don't know why I said that. It was like everything I had wanted to say came out wrong, I couldn't be reasonable,” I muttered, taking a seat in his chair in defeat.

He sighed. “It's your child, you know that, right?”

I swallowed a lump in my throat, looking at my feet. “Deep down I do,” I mumbled. “I just didn't want to believe it.”

He nodded. “She told me, you know?”

I looked up to him, seeing the way his eyes softened at the mention of her and the way he immediately defended her in our fight. While I was wondering around being a coward, I'm glad someone was there to push her through it— Jeff out of all people. Although, I couldn't mask the ounce of jealousy of Julia telling him her secrets like she used to tell me.

“I figured... But how- I mean when did you two get so close?”

He wrinkled his forehead in thought. “It was more of a coincident that we would run into each other than anything. She was mad about you one night and I stopped her from drinking like I used too- you know, out of pain.” He bit his lip. “Then she got sick, apparently some pregnant women just have these episodes where they throw up randomly, so I offered to take her home. Then when she was crying at the engagement party-”

“She was crying?” I asked my voice hoarse and my mouth frowning as I searched my memory of any indication of her tears that night. As usual, I had been too far up my own ass to notice.

He nodded. “Yeah, after her speech. I followed her when she rushed off and she was so stressed because you had been rude to her. I also think because guilt was eating her alive from seeing you with Elaine.” He leaned back into the couch, his eyes distant at the memory. “I had a pregnancy scare once when I was in college, so the signs were similar. She was sick and you guys had slept together a couple weeks before. So, I straight up asked Julia if she was pregnant and she just—you know, started sobbing. She hadn't told anyone at that point so it helped to get it out.”

“I'm such a fucking dick,” I grumbled, burying my face in my hands. “I wasn't there when she needed me the most.”

Jeff shook his head. “No. That wasn't when she needed you the most.”

I looked up at him.

“She needs you the most right now. She's carrying your baby, Harry. She needs you to help her through this, she can't do it alone and you know that.”

“What am I supposed to do, though?” I groaned. “How am I supposed to tell management and protect Julia from all the hate that everyone will send her? The fans love Elaine and they won't handle another woman carrying my child.” My child. The words sounded strange in my mouth.

Jeff shrugged. “Well… I’m kind of like management. I think we can work something out, H.”

There were a couple beats of silence.

“What are you going to do with Elaine?” he asked.

I fell back limp against the chair, sliding down so my legs were stretched in front of me. “I don't know, I don't really want to think about it. It's not like she liked Julia in the first place… she just tolerated her.”

“Really?” Jeff said sarcastically, as if this news surprised him. “She acts like such a snob around Julia.”

I eyed Jeff, not knowing if I was offended by that statement or not. “She's still my fiancé',” I said.

He rolled his eyes. “Don't remind me.”

The door opened from down the long hallway, the rattling of keys and sound of heels ticking on the floor. Glenne rounded the corner, her blonde hair in a high ponytail and sunglasses in hand. A smile adorned her pink lips when she saw me. “Hey, Harry-” she stopped short when she took in my appearance, a small “O” shaping her mouth.

Jeff shot her a small smile. “Hi, love,” he told her, his eyes melting like honey at the sight of his girlfriend. My heart hurt like a bitch at the sight of it. I had fucked everything up.

She looked at us cautiously, not knowing whether she was wanted in the conversation. “Is everything all right…?”

“Yeah, it's good,” I lied at the same time that Jeff snorted and said a blunt, “No.”

She eyed us curiously.

“You want a woman's advice?” Jeff asked.

I let out a long breath, ignoring him.

“Glenne, let's be honest. Do you like Elaine?” Jeff looked at her.

I snapped my eyes up to him.

Her eyes grew wide, not knowing how to answer with me in the room. I groaned. “Go ahead, be honest,” I told her, waving my hand.

Glenne pulled her lips into her mouth. “No, not really,” she answered. “she flirts with Jeff a lot.”

My eyebrows shot up. “She what?” I asked incredulously.

“And with Mitch and Adam and Niall....” she continued, looking at me sadly.

I let my face fall into my hands. Did I even have a right to be upset?

“Do you like her, Harry?” Jeff asked.

I was almost about to answer with an involuntary “of course I do” but I stopped myself. I had to think. “A part of me loves her, but I don't particularly like her,” I mumbled, realization stinging like a slap to the face.

Glenne walked all the way into the room, taking a seat next to Jeff.

“A part of you loves her?” Jeff repeated.

I nodded, the words coming to me for the first time. “I did love her... I really believe I did. She was a different person when we met. It's almost as if she's the piece of me that's expected. Everyone wanted me to marry her, to be with her. And I love her for that... for being what I needed at that time of my life but... People change.” When I finished talking, I look up to see Glenne and Jeff looking at each other knowingly.

“What are you two looking at each other about?” I snapped.

She put her hands up in defense. “I didn't say anything,” she responded, a smile on her lips.

I could feel her eyes on me as she gauged my reaction. I knew what she was smiling about and I really didn't want her to be smiling about that.

“It's a lot more complicated than that,” I muttered.

…

The next day was a blur. Waking up by the afternoon, there was a moment of silence before shame swallowed me whole, drowning my chest, lungs and head in an overwhelming guilt. All that I said—all that I maliciously threw at her – I knew it would hurt. Yet, I still said it. I was absolutely disgusted with myself that I could barely eat all day.

I knew I needed to talk to her... But I couldn't. A piece of me was still holding onto the anger that she lied to me and I felt the betrayal of it hit me once again.

I sulked around my flat all day, dragging myself from my bed to my couch and to the bathroom. Only to return back to the couch and sulk a bit more. I was pitiful and lost and stupid and completely and utterly angry.

When the clock hit 7:30 that evening and I felt my eyes drifting close, I heard the front door open, Elaine's loud voice chirping into her phone.

“Harry!” she called and I glanced up at her, knowing the purple circles nestled below my red eyes had to speak for themselves.

“Are you okay?” she asked, glancing down at her phone to type a message.

I sighed. “Yeah,” I lied. “just dandy.” I knew I should tell her about Julia, but I needed this limited amount of time to gather my thoughts and emotions. There was no telling that I wouldn't blow up and break another lamp again.

Her eyes brushed over me for a second. “Okay, good,” she said, reaching in her bag to pull out a folder. “I wanted to tell you that I decided on the wedding colors and venue.”

I rolled my eyes, sinking back into the couch and pulling my arm over my face to shield my sensitive irises from the light she turned on.

“I think pink will be a really nice color. Especially if you wear a pink bow tie and get the boys to wear them too.”

I groaned.

“Are you listening to me?” she demanded and I didn't have to open my eyes to know her hand was on her hip.

I took a deep breath, stringing out my patience. “Oh, yeah. I'm listening alright.”

Elaine's heels clicked as she walked further into the living room and the slap of papers sounded as I imagined her throwing the folder on the glass table.

“Also, for the wedding reception will you sing a song for me? You know, like make it look like a surprise.”

I ran my hands down my face. “You know, Elaine, I really don't want to talk about this right now, okay? I've had a rough day,” I snapped.

She cocked an eyebrow. “You've had a rough day?” she said, her voice icy. “Try planning a wedding all by yourself.”

I pushed myself up to sitting position. “If you would have put it off for a couple more months, maybe it wouldn't be that bad and I could actually have a moment to breathe.”

She crossed her arms. “If I remember correctly you were so eager to get it to be sooner for some unknown reason.”

I was quiet. The date had been moved up because of my nagging to Elaine. I was afraid that I had made a mistake with Julia and all my emotions had been at a boiling point. Kind of like now.

“I don't want to talk about it,” I grumbled.

She threw her hands up in exasperation. “Can you at least tell me what you think of the venue?”

“Why does it matter?” I asked. “It's not like you'll consider my opinion.”

“That's because you have a tacky opinion.” She rolled her eyes.

I raised an eyebrow at her. Pushing myself to my feet, I walked into the hallway and shoved my feet into my black boots.

“Where do you think you're going?” she demanded, running to keep up with me.

“Out.”

My arms slid through the holes of my jacket as I opened the door and grabbed my keys.

“But I just got home,” she said and with my back to her I could still see the same fucking hand on her same fucking hip.

I rolled my eyes. “And now I'm leaving,” I snapped back equally as forceful as her. She was pushing me past my breaking point.

With a closed door separating us, I took a long and deep breath.

***

Julia's P.O.V

I hadn't been able to sleep.

My anxiety was running high as I forced myself to get up and perform normal daily tasks. Brush my hair, make a light breakfast, study, try to watch TV. It was so difficult when I turned and everything reminded me of Harry and when I thought of Harry I thought of our fight which made me want to swallow myself within my own guilt.

Never in my entire life had I seen him that angry. He usually was the calm one, if I got angry he was there to rub my shoulder and tell me to look at the reasonable side of the situation. He had always been that way- he had always been my rock.

After that night... After our argument I didn't know where that left us—or what was left of us. Something felt final when he closed the door, separating us in so many different ways. I had to force myself to not think that he had left me behind because then I'd have to take more anxiety pills to calm my racing heart. Even when we had first marked our relationship with that fatal night, there was still the love between us. There was that friendship that couldn't be ruined with a couple mistakes and mixed signals.

Now I wasn't so sure.

I turned the station on the television, hoping to find something decent to occupy my mind. Jeff had texted me earlier, asking how I was doing- I assumed Harry had told him everything- I couldn't force myself to respond though.

Just when a new episode of a stupid sitcom that I couldn't care less about came on, there was a pounding at my door.

I glanced at the clock. It was 11:30 at night.

Maybe it was Jeff?

I could feel my doubt as I got up to continuing knocking. Whoever was there seemed extremely impatient.

I almost choked on my breath when the squeaking hinges of my door sounded as I pulled it open.

“Harry,” I breathed. So many thoughts raced through my head. What was he doing? Was he going to yell at me again? Cuss me out?

That's when I took in his haggard appearance. Blood-shot eyes, messed up hair and purple halfmoons underneath his bottom lashes. His breath blew out clouds from the frigid London air, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his black parka, his collar pulled up to protect his neck.

His nose wrinkled. “It's...cold,” he slurred, his tongue painting the words together.

My eyebrows rose in surprise. “Are you drunk?” I asked.

Pushing passed me, he rolled his eyes. “You act like your surprised,” he muttered.

A/N: Tried not to end this on SUCH a bad note. But I’m sorry. 

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[frywen-babbles]

Sounds of Silence pt1

A/N: Modern AU with Mitsunari! This is loosely tied to Everything comes with a price, set over a year after it. Unlike before, there won’t be a set release schedule bc this fic isn’t completely finished yet. (I just need some validation and motivation oTL). A big thank you to @dear-mrs-otome for telling me this idea doesn’t completely suck <3

Also spoilers for Mitsunari’s route!

When he opened the door all he could do was stare.

Behind it stood a young woman. And not just any young woman but the one he had seen at the library countless times reading books to kids in sign language. The woman he secretly always hoped he’d see when he went to the library, whose smile he couldn’t stop thinking about.

***

At first, Mitsunari was annoyed by the voices coming somewhere out of sight. Libraries were supposed to be where you could study in peace, he had no idea what could cause such a ruckus.

The sound of laughter guided him to the children’s section of the library, but what he saw wasn’t what he expected.

A young woman was standing in front of a group of kids, a book open in front of her, animatedly reading the book in sign language. The kids were excited, laughing and giggling at the what he assumed were the exciting parts of the story.

Mitsunari felt enamoured, his annoyance long forgotten. He didn’t even realise he had stared until the story was over and all the kids were circling her, trying to talk to her all at once. Her smile brightened her face and she looked so natural and happy amongst the kids Mitsunari felt almost jealous.

Just then, she caught him staring. He felt his face heat up and he turned around sharply, stomping back to the table he had reserved for himself. He planted his face firmly on the book open in front of him.

Gods, that was embarrassing. Who goes around staring random women, when they were supposed to study. Ughh…

*****

He saw her walk towards the children's section from the corner of his eye and somehow his head turned to look after her. She stopped to wait for a boy in his teens to bounce all excited to her a book in his hands. They shared a greeting but Mitsunari couldn't follow the signs they spoke with. It didn't stop him from staring after them when they continued on their way towards the room where he had seen her read to the kids.  

"Hey, are you even listening to me?"

Mitsunari turned to look at Sakon who looked at him a wide smile on his face.

"Or are you too busy staring after women to tutor me?"

"If you have time to lazy around and comment on everything I do, you must be ready for a quiz about all the important battles post-Honno-ji?"

"Ack! No! Don't you have any mercy, we just went through them 30 minutes ago?"

"Then what are you doing fooling around, you incorrigible dimwit. Get back to studying."

"I'm sure no one would have made me work this hard in the Sengoku period..." Sakon mumbled with a sigh.

"What was that?"

"I'm studying!"

When he was finally free of Sakon, he made his way to the children's section. But it was quiet, the children long gone. He was just about to turn around when he noticed a schedule on the wall. She would be back in an hour.

He could wait for that long.

Wait, maybe he shouldn't? Would that be weird? But he really did want to see her read again.  

He didn't see her until he got up to get some coffee from a vending machine. She was sitting on the sofas next to it with the same boy as before, lost in an animated discussion he could only guess the topic off.

A part of him wanted to loiter so he could watch them talk, but the reasonable part of his brain forced him to return to his table.

As soon as he saw her followed by the silver-haired boy he stuffed his things to his bag and stood up to follow her. A group of excited kids were already waiting for her but he stayed behind until everyone had sat down. Then he stepped behind the parents by the door, his eyes following the movements of her hands taking in every sign.

Unlike before, this time when she was finished she kept glancing at the clock and hurried away as soon as possible, almost colliding with him. The silver-haired boy tried to stop her but after some hurried signs let her go. The look on the boys face looked a bit like a lost puppy and for some reason seeing her hurry away like that made Mitsunari feel a bit same.

He was brushing his teeth in the evening when he felt the buzz of his phone in his pocket.

[23:12:45] <<bookshy>> do u evr feel like ur stuck in ur life? [23:12:52] <<bookshy>> like u shld hve accomplishd so much mor in ur life tn u hve?

He stared at the screen for a while before he typed a reply. He didn't know who bookshy was, not really. They had been talking with each other for years, but always with nicknames, always through messages in the internet. It felt more comfortable that way somehow. Knowing there was always a person willing to listen to you without judging.

[23:13:05] <<ManjuDreamer>> Are you feeling like that right now? [23:13:07] <<bookshy>> ya [23:13:11] <<bookshy>> i dunno wht ill do w/ my life [23:13:19] <<bookshy>> i thght id do so mch more u know? [23:13:22] <<bookshy>> and now i jst feel liek im stuck nd see no way out [23:13:23] <<bookshy>> is ths my life now? [23:14:50] <<bookshy>> evry1 says i shld b happy w/ wht i hve [23:14:59] <<bookshy>> i hve so much im feeling ungrateful whn i feel like ths [24:15:46] <<ManjuDreamer>> You still have plenty of time to accomplish your dreams. It's not for others to decide when you can be happy. [23:16:02] <<bookshy>> guess ur rite

He heard a knock on the bathroom door and quickly finished brushing his teeth. When he opened the door Hideyoshi was standing behind it already in his pyjamas.

"I thought you'd never come out," he commented with a yawn and pushed past him to the bathroom.

"Good night," Mitsunari wished to the closed door before he retreated back to his room.

[23:18:30] <<bookshy>> how was ur day [23:18:49] <<bookshy>> i saw the prettiest person today like hot damn [23:19:13] <<ManjuDreamer>> I saw an interesting person today too, I wish I get to see them again. Other than that, it was mostly my student being an idiot, so nothing new. [23:19:53] <<ManjuDreamer>> I tried to do some research on a paper I'm writing, but it didn't progress much. I was just about to go to bed so I have energy to study more tomorrow. [23:19:56] <<bookshy>> srry to keep u up [23:19:57] <<bookshy>> night! [23:20:10] <<ManjuDreamer>> Night.

***

Mitsunari tossed the wig from his head frustrated, running his hand over his face. He glanced at the mirror of the bathroom, at the perfectly drawn eyeliner, the perfect shade of blush, the perfectly applied foundation. The perfect set of lies, painted on his face.

[13:33:14] <<ManjuDreamer>> I went to see my mother.

He hesitated a bit before he sent the message. It didn't take long for his phone to bling with a reply.

[13:34:29] <<bookshy>> how did it go? [13:34:48] <<ManjuDreamer>> As well as you would expect. [13:34:51] <<bookshy>> u wanna t alk about it?

His fingers ghosted over the screen of his phone before he put it down and looked at the mirror again. He reached for the makeup removal wipes from his bag and scrubbed furiously at his skin until the last remains of the makeup were gone.

[13:36:18] <<ManjuDreamer>> She's there but I feel like I'm losing her. [13:37:01] <<ManjuDreamer>> Every time I visit she seems further and further away. [13:37:15]<<ManjuDreamer>> Sometimes I wonder if the mother I used to know is there at all.

He started to type his next message, but stopped, gripping his phone tight in his hand.

[13:38:34] <<ManjuDreamer>> She's my mother, but it's so hard. [13:38:42] <<ManjuDreamer>> I don't know what to do.

He glanced at the mirror to make sure his eyes weren't red before he pulled his shirt over his head and replaced it with one from his bag.

[13:38:47] <<bookshy>> ur doing plenty already [13:38:49] <<bookshy>> u dont have to push urself so hard [13:38:50] <<bookshy>> im sure shed understand [13:38:59] <<ManjuDreamer>> But I'm all she has. [13:39:02] <<bookshy>> i know [13:39:06] <<bookshy>> but u hhave 2 thnk abt urself frst [13:39:15] <<bookshy>> if u feel its too much u can keep a brek. ur not prfect. u dnt have 2 b [13:39:50] <<bookshy>> im alws hr 2 tlk if u need me [13:40:20] <<ManjuDreamer>> Thank you. It means a lot.

He put his phone on the side of the sink and wiggled out of his skirt. He really should buy a new one next time he got paid for tutoring. The zipper didn't work properly anymore and the hem was starting to fray. He kicked the flats from his feet and looked at the kneehigh socks on his feet. They wouldn't be visible under his pants anyway so he let them be and took his pants and shoes from his bag before showing the skirt and shirt in their place. He considered showing the wig in after them but realised making the wig presentable after that would be too much of a hassle. So he gently combed the wig with his fingers to sort out biggest tangles and folded it neatly in a mesh bag. Flats into a plastic bag, then into the bag.

Like countless times before.

He got dressed and made one final glance at the mirror before he put the bag on his shoulder and stepped out of the bathroom.

"Oh, Mitsunari! Here to see your mother?" a nurse greeted him when he tried to slip past the nurses' office without being noticed. What a nosy bunch of quidnuncs insistent of mothering him.

“Yes. I was just leaving.” He replied with a stiff bow.

“Come and have some tea with us! How did the test go you told me last time?” Another nurse poked her head from the office. Mitsunari resisted the urge to roll his eyes and offered another bow.

“I believe it went well. I still haven’t received the results.”

Half an hour later he was still stuck at the nurses' office surrounded by what felt like a flock of mother hens, all determined to squeeze every bit of information out of him they could. He was just getting up from his chair when a voice behind him froze him on the spot.

"Did my darling Saki leave already? She was just here... Such a dutiful daughter, coming to see her mother so often..."

His knuckles turned white as he squeezed the edge of the table, his head down. He wanted to turn around. He wanted to see his mother as himself. He wanted... needed to see if she'd recognise him this time.

"We saw her leave a while ago, Mrs Ishida. She's such a nice girl."

He heard a nurse walk his mother away and the sighs of relief from the remaining nurses.

"Are you alright, Mitsunari? You know we'll listen to you if you need to talk. Or we can help you find someone-"

"I need to go now. Goodbye," Mitsunari interrupted the nurse who had put her hand on his shoulder to calm him. He got up in such haste his chair fell to the floor with a rattle, but he just offered a quick bow before he fled the office.

He didn't stop until he arrived at the bus stop. There he sank on the bench, burying his face on his hands.

He took the bus to the library, staring idly out of the window.

[14:36:09] <<bookshy>> did u make it home [14:36:35] <<ManjuDreamer>> No. I'm heading to the library. The nurses got me again. [14:36:37] <<bookshy>> lol how did u mnage 2 escpe [18:36:56] <<ManjuDreamer>> Mother came to the office. [14:37:09] <<bookshy>> oh no [14:37:10] <<bookshy>> im so sorry [14:37:21] <<bookshy>> how r u feeling rn? [14:38:29] <<ManjuDreamer>> I don't know. I'll try to find some reading to distract myself with.

At the library, he searched for materials for his upcoming paper but when he sat down and tried to read, the words didn't make any sense.

When he had read the same page several times over and still remembered absolutely nothing he was interrupted from his reading by a book shoved on top of the one he was just reading.

"Can't you see I'm-!" the sharp words died on his lips when he saw the same woman who had read to the kids in front of him. She tapped on the note on top of the book and he looked down to read it.

'This is the book I was reading. You seemed interested'

She handed him a second book, a note on top of it too.

'I'll read this next'

When she shifted her weight from one foot to another clearly uncomfortable, he realised he was staring. He offered her a curt nod as a thank you and she bowed at him a small relieved smile on her lips. She seemed to hesitate before she signed something but he had to shake his head.

There was a slight shift on her smile, on her posture, and she took a step back.

'I'm sorry' she mouthed and offered him a bow before she all but fled, leaving him to sit alone, feeling like an idiot.

[16:19:20] <<ManjuDreamer>> I think I just made a complete fool out of myself. [16:29:59] <<bookshy>> lol rly? [16:30:00] <<bookshy>> wht did u do? [16:30:02] <<bookshy>> i thght fool wasnt in ur dicktionary [16:31:18] <<ManjuDreamer>> And for that terrible joke, I tell you nothing. [16:31:47] <<bookshy>> noooo hw wll i evr know how embarassng u can be if u don tell me? [16:32:32] <<ManjuDreamer>> You'll survive.

***

"She's not here today."

Mitsunari was startled from his thoughts by a familiar voice behind him. He turned around, vaguely aware of the frown his irritation had brought on his face.

"Who?" he asked as if he didn't know exactly who was the 'she' in question.

"I got this for you, I'm sure it holds some useful information." Mr Otani handed him a flyer for the children's activities in the local libraries. Mitsunari stared at the flyer blankly before he looked at Mr Otani, letting his irritation show.

"And what am I supposed to do with this?"

Mr Otani just smiled and pushed a book towards him as well.

"I'm sure you'll find this useful as well. Come find me if you need anything else."

Before he had time to protest Mr Otani left him with a wave, a wide smile on his face. He considered running or yelling after him, but changed his mind when he looked at the book in his hand.

'Sign language for beginners'

He tucked the children's program leaflet securely at the back of his calendar and checked the book out.

Something about the sign language intrigued him. She looked so graceful when signing. And so comfortable and she seemed genuinely love reading to the children.

At first, he thought he’d look up a few signs. Just in case some of the children needed help in the library. Just so he could talk to her. No, he meant the kids. So he could talk to the kids. But few turned into a few hundred. A few thousand. He was so lost.

***

[sherlockxreader]

Gift of Love

Title: Gift of Love

Summary: After Greg asks about the relationship between you and Sherlock one day, an idea to mess with the entire New Scotland Yard comes to Sherlock’s mind. Author: Maddy @laterthantherabbit Words: 2210 Characters/Relationships: Sherlock x platonic!reader, lil bit o’ Greg x reader Warnings: None I think

Request:  Can you do a request where Sherlock and Y/N are best friends, where she gets to see a side of him where he laughs until he cries and he shows his emotions to her sometimes, but they’re only best friends. She loves to pull pranks on people constantly, especially cruel pranks on Sally and Anderson for everything they say to Sherlock, but she does play pranks on everyone, and sometimes Sherlock even joins in. And one day, maybe because of something Sally or Anderson said to Sherlock about dating or whatever or because of something else or whatever, Sherlock and Y/N decide to make everyone think they’re dating, and she gets overly dramatic at crime scenes to annoy people there which she finds hilarious and Sherlock not only allows it he finds it funny as well, and he even goes out of his way to show her affection to make it look convincing, and Scotland Yard and Sherlock’s fans go into a craze about this and even Molly gets really jealous??? And it’s just super sweet and funny??? And can you add in prompts “THERE’S SO MUCH BLOOD” and “Huh. And I thought /I/ was dramatic.” (Srry can't remember the prompt numbers!) thanks!!!! Also, could Maddy write this?? If not that's okay - @anonymous-requests

Author’s Notes: So this is one of the requests I had in progress. I kinda used this as a warmup piece to get back into the feel of writing. It was super fun to do and I really enjoyed writing it. Thanks so much to the anon who sent it! I couldn’t figure out how to get Molly’s jealousy to fit so i instead focused on other women at the Yard instead. Hope that suits! Also, not sure if it would confuse anyone but glad-wrap here is what we call cling-film or cling wrap so glad-wrapping something is covering it in whole lot of cling wrap. And again, Sherlock may be a bit OOC. I should really watch it again. Also, dialogue heavy so there’s that.

------------------------------------------

Prompts: 11. “THERE’S SO MUCH BLOOD.” 19. “Huh. And I thought I was dramatic.”

------------------------------------------

“THERE’S SO MUCH BLOOD!” You heard Donovan’s scream as you entered the homicide division of The Yard, keeping your face as straight as you could when you saw how perfectly your prank had been executed. Sally stood over her desk, the top drawer open where you had placed a bag of ‘blood’ which has burst once she opened the drawer. The ‘blood’ had splashed and stained her blouse and had begun to drip onto the floor where it was caught by a well placed piece of tarp. Sherlock came in behind you and leaned down to whisper in your ear as Sally began to order the new officer in her division to help clean the red goo, the beginnings of a not-so-rare smile appearing on his face.

“Just what did they done this time Y/N?”

“Oh nothing much, they were just getting a bit too comfortable is all.” He chuckled low in his throat as he walked past the mess towards Lestrade’s office for his newest case, Sally glaring at his back as he went. You began to follow when she forced herself in front of you, causing you to stop and step in the blood that had dripped onto the floor.

“I know this was you, just like I know that it was you who glad-wrapped Anderson’s car last week. Don’t think this won’t have consequences.” She sneered and leaned into your personal space. “I am going to make your life very hard if you keep this up.”

You smiled sweetly and stepped around her bloodied figure. “I just don’t know what you mean to imply Sergeant. I was with Sherlock all morning and I didn’t come to the Yard at all last week, now if you would excuse me.” You smile and winked at her before turning to Greg’s office, chuckling at hearing Sally grumble to herself and kick her desk and then complaining as the fake blood spilled onto the ground. “Huh. And I thought I was dramatic.”

“You are dramatic.” Sherlock was looking down at a file Greg had given him and you could see his mind working behind his eyes. You brought your hand to your forehead and swooned, faking death.

“You wound me Sherlock! How can I, your most trusted friend, ever be the dramatic person you speak of?” He only sighed, a smile on his face as he flipped the pages over to some crime photos. Greg, who was behind him looking over his shoulder, came to your side and nudged your shoulder, bringing you back to the real world. He motioned his head towards the door, prompting you to follow as he spoke to Sherlock.

“We’re just going to grab a coffee Sherlock. Do you want anything?” Sherlock didn’t reply, to engrossed in the case. You giggled and followed Greg out to the break room where he put the kettle onto boil, leaning on the countertop. “So…”

“Is this about Sally? Cause I didn’t do anything.”

“What? No it’s… what did you do Y/N?”

“Nothing.” You smiled innocently, making Greg shake his head with affection. A comfortable silence came between you as the water boiled. He scratched the back of his neck and cleared his throat, a faint blush coming to his cheeks when he managed to stammer out the question on his mind.

“You and Sherlock are… well, close no?”

“I ‘spose. He’s one of my best friends.” You leaned onto the doorframe and crossed your arms.

“And that’s all?”

“Yeah? What’s going on Greg?”

“It’s just, you seem to bring out a different side of him. Not like when he’s with John. I just thought that there was something, well, not more but… ah, what I’m trying to say is um…”

“Are we together?” You cocked your eyebrow as the water finished boiling, giving Greg the opportunity to hide his flustered face from yours which was beginning to blossom into a brilliant smile. “Did you think Sherlock and I were together Greg?”

“Well I wasn’t the only one!” You laughed and came to help him make the coffee, nudging his side and you grabbed a mug.

“I don’t see it.”

“What do you mean? Pretty much the entire Yard has heard rumours that you two are together!” You shrugged and filled your cup with the hot water, the smell of cheap, instant coffee scenting the air.

“Does the idea of us together disappoint you Gregory? Were you jealous perhaps?” He spluttered as he took a test sip of his beverage, trying to say something as you laughed and went back to check on Sherlock, the conversation playing on repeat through your mind.

---------------------------------------------------

“Do you see us being together Sherlock?” You were lying along the couch, throwing a ball into the air and catching it while Sherlock fiddled with something vulgar in the kitchen. It was the day after yours and Greg’s conversation. You heard Sherlock’s tinkering stop for a second as he processed your question, resuming as he answered.

“If you mean romantically then no, I don’t.” His movement stopped again and he leaned back to look at you. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s nothing, just Greg-”

“Who?”

“Lestrade told me that the whole Yard thinks we’re a couple and I just can’t see it. It’s been bugging me since yesterday.” He hummed and you stood from the couch, coming into the kitchen and lying on Sherlock’s back as he worked, your nose scrunching up as the smell hit you. “What the hell is that?”

“Kidney. He’s got a thing for you, you know.”

“Who? Greg?” He hummed again in confirmation and added something to the kidney that made it fizz weirdly.

“Well one, that’s gross-” You pointed to the now discolouring organ, “-and two, ya think? Hmmm, maybe.” You thought of what your relationship was with the DI for a bit until Sherlock moved back just so to jostle you from your position, sending you to the ground with a slight thump. “Oww, thanks for that Sherl.” You heard him begin to laugh and you gasped, appalled. “You did that on purpose!”

“Not my fault you weren’t paying attention.”

“To what, your kidney? No thanks.” You stood and brushed the dust off your thighs.

“No, not the kidney, what I just said.”

“And that was?” He sighed and you retook your position along his back, your chin resting atop his mop of hair.

“I said why don’t we have some fun with this?”

“With what?”

“You really have a very tiny attention span, don’t you?”

“It’s a gift.” You flourished your hand into the air as Sherlock repeated his idea for an awesome prank to you; getting the whole Yard to believe wholeheartedly that you two were an item. He felt your smile grow with each word and when he was finished, you were positively beaming.

“That sounds brilliant but on one condition.”

“We tell Graham beforehand.”

“It’s Greg and we tell him- hey, how’d you know what I was going to say?”

“I-”

“Deduced it, yeah yeah.” You straightened up and ruffled his hair at which Sherlock squawked indignantly at. Making your way back into the living room, you called over your shoulder, beginning to text the plan to Greg. “So when are we doing this?” Referring back to his kidney, Sherlock told you that he should have the results he needs by the end of the day so the plan was set for tomorrow when you’d go back to the Yard to give those results to Greg. Sending the text, you sat back onto the couch and smirked to yourself. “Perfect.”

-----------------------------------------------------

After having concluded that it was the sister-in-law who committed the murder, you and Sherlock began to execute your prank. The first step was making it look like you two were together. Because you were both pretty affectionate with one another, you settled for something that would be subtle: simple hand holding. You even added a little swing into your arms much to Sherlock’s dismay. As soon as you stepped out of the cab, your hands conjoined, you saw some of the officers point and stare at your hands. Sherlock had to stop and give you a quick hug to hide your face which was about to burst into laughter. “Y/N you’re going to ruin this!”

“Just give me a second I-this is just too easy.” You giggled a bit into his coat and steadied your breath. When you emerged from your little cocoon, you saw that half of the officers in the foyer had stopped blatantly and were fixated on you and Sherlock, some were even rushing off to tell the upper floors and there was a pair in the corner exchanging cash. The main thing that stood out to you was the aura of jealousy coming from nearly every woman in the room. Their faces were marred into scowls and their eyes flashed with anger when you made contact with theirs “Look at everyone! They’re so jealous. Oh my god Sher- they even made bets! I didn’t think that they were this invested.” You giggled at your pun and Sherlock groaned.

“Oh please that was horrible. Come on, the sooner we get this to Lestrade the faster we can get to the morgue.” Sherlock practically dragged you to the elevator, standing at the doors waiting for the lift to descend. As you stood there you heard people whispering about you two as they passed, saying things like “he doesn’t deserve her” and “told you so”. When the doors opened and the gawking people left, a few bumping shoulders with you purposefully, you got a brilliant idea to rub it into their faces further.

“Lean down.” You whispered.

“What? Why?” Sherlock had a questioning look on his face but he leaned down to your level just the same, allowing you the perfect opportunity to peck him on the temple. Upon doing so, you heard many exclamations and shouts from the people in the foyer, a heap coming from the group of women that were eying you in the corner, chaos ensuing just as the doors closed. You leaned back and triumphantly smiled as Sherlock stood again, laughing along with you. “You are evil Y/N.”

“Yeah but wasn’t it worth it?” You laughed and shook your head. “They’re so easy to tease, I couldn’t help myself!” You were chuckling as the elevator stopped at Greg’s floor and you strolled out, clutching your belly with one hand and dragging Sherlock along with the other. You couldn’t keep the smile off your face as the department stared at the two of you all the way to Greg’s office. In the sanctuary of the room, you let go of Sherlock and sat on the ground, catching your breath and easing the stitch in your side from your contained laughter. Sherlock was looking down at you perplexed yet amused and Greg just looked worried.

“Is she okay?” Greg knelt down beside you and had his arm on your shoulder, preventing you from toppling over as you shook with laughter.

“She’s fine. Here’s the file, it has everything you need in it. I would be leaving now but it would seem she needs a moment.”

“J-just...haha… hang on a tick. You should- should’ve seen them Greg. Down below.” You took deep breaths, calming yourself somewhat enough to stand again. “It was like we were aliens.” Greg rubbed your arm once more before he stepped back abruptly. You smiled fondly at him. “Thanks Greg.”

“No- no problem!” He blushed as you squeezed his arm in thanks before you left, pausing at the door as you contemplated your next move.

“I’ll be back again soon to grab a coffee, okay?” You grabbed Sherlock’s hand again and took off without waiting for an answer, your own face turning red as Sherlock now began to chuckle.

“Smooth.”

“Shut up.” You were both chuckling to yourselves when Sally and Anderson stepped into your path, their faces both matching with disgust.

“I see the rumours about the freak and his pet are true.” Sally scoffed and crossed her arms as Anderson fake gagged. “What’s so funny Y/N? Nothing to say?” You looked up to Sherlock and saw his eyes sparkle with mirth as you composed yourself.

“Oh no, we were just about to head out for our date. Nothing says love like a disembowelled corpse. I’m even going to present the heart to Sherly as a symbol for my undying love for him. Come on Sherl!” You pushed yourself between them as Sherlock’s facade cracked and his deep laughter filled the room alongside yours. You could hear Sally and Anderson yelling for you two to explain yourself to them as you re-entered the elevator and you saw them approaching just as the doors closed on their faces. You had tears streaming down your face as the building erupted into a cacophony of bewilderment and astonishment. “This has just been too perfect.” You smiled up at Sherlock from your hunched posture and saw him looking down at you with a childlike smile plastered on his face.

“It was, wasn’t it?” He laughed with you for a floor or two and then his face turned deadly serious. “But Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t call me Sherly ever again.”

[skymade]

Willow Gone

   A drabble from Willow’s best friend, Eryk’s, point of view. It’s long, I’m sorry. These are the texts pertaining to this. 

   “Errie, how about today?”

   Eryk is lain across their bed, staring at the prune colored ceiling for the five-millionth morning in a row -- or so it feels. Little appears to be able to rouse them from their state.

   Their mother, aquamarine with cavernous holes littering her face -- a Meldonian -- stands at the doorway. Her tight, bright green hair curls with the consistency of seaweed fall from the crown of her head. They are the same curls that pull at Eryk’s own blue head. Her mouth is nothing but a large slit in the center of her face, but Eryk can understand both her question and the implications deep beyond it.

   They do not answer. Normally, Eryk’s love for their mother overrides all else, but now their love for someone else holds them, like chains, in their bed.

   “We love you, Errie,” she says, for the five-millionth morning in a row, circular fins with holes reaching towards them. Her voice always sounds as if it comes from deep underwater. “Whenever you're ready, you know. Seconds will wait for you.” She touches them, once, on the leg, then retreats. The door clicks behind her gently.

   Eryk closes their eyes and sees her. Not the mother they love -- their best friend. Dark curls, murky eyes, bright purple skin -- one of many things she was mocked for. Willow sky. She was their best friend, from the moment they met to the moment their mother told them she was gone.

   In a flash, Eryk can see their entire friendship. The moment she, in a flurry of curls and laughs, sat down next to them during lunch, introducing herself though uninvited. Trekking the mountains of Amyr, them wheezing and her laughing. Her splashing purple water at them and sticking out her tongue when they protested. Her hanging upside down in their hiding place, the storage unit, singing out of tune and changing the lyrics to fit her mood. The last time they saw her -- late at night, under the velvet sky, with stars sprinkling above them, her winking playfully at their gaze.

   Their eyes shut tightly at the images. Each memory is another chain that drags them down to their bed, leading with the terrifying crash of the moment Eryk woke up and saw their mother there. Their mother had never been allowed for extended stay upon planet -- Amyr rules -- and instantly, Eryk had felt sick.

   Dad’s dead, was Eryk’s first thought. I did something wrong. I failed my tests for Seconds. Mother is dying.

   But they had never expected the words that had come from their mother’s mouth, starting simply and gently.

   “Errie… when was the last time you saw Willow?”

   She was gone.

   Eryk presses their hands against their eyelids. Why hadn’t they told anyone when they saw the bruises on Willow’s skin? Why hadn’t they reported their fear for her life? Why didn’t they try harder? What if she were dead, as dead as her mother must be? And the most terrifying thought of all: What if she went off to Travel?

   She wouldn’t be able to survive. Not for a minute. Willow would have no idea what she’s doing. Though all evidence leads to her being upon another planet -- the loss of her mother’s tokens -- Eryk has been stubbornly refusing to believe it.

   Even with the possibility of her escaping with Tallow -- what her father currently believes -- Tallow can not care for Willow. What if he abandons her? What if he hurts her? What if she feels trapped?

   These thoughts have been circling in Eryk’s head for the eons it feels she’s been gone, but they haven’t abated, yet. Every day, Eryk wakes up to hear them repeat in perfect clarity.

   They’re sure they’re going insane.

   Eryk’s communicator chirps next to them. They never get messages. Curiosity wins over depression for the moment. They reach up, grabbing it off of the ivory table, and flip out the keyboard, making the screen light up.

   the will of the sky. (in range) 1 NEW MESSAGE.

   Eryk cannot stop the tears that immediately pour through their eyes as they select the message, quickly, shakily. They have always had what Willow called bleeding eyes, but they were sure the Terran expression was bleeding heart. And now, they are choking on it.

   It is a message from Willow.

   trvling mkes me ocean sick T_T ;-; ;(

   The words are so uniquely Willow -- down to the very last mark (or lack thereof) that Eryk begins sobbing harder.

   In a perfect world, they’d take time to control themselves. They’d wait until the feelings abated and let them breathe to reply. But they have not seen the words “in range” next to Willow’s name for a long time, so long they are afraid if they don’t reply immediately, she will disappear.

   Fuck you

   It’s all they can think to say.

   The response is so fast. 

   aw!! ;( dont b meeeeeeeean!!!

   Eryk is attempting to type a response, when another of Willow’s comes.

   i knw. i knw.

   Willow never left spell check on. Most Amyra didn’t. It came with switching languages -- it was easier to just type without having to change languages each time they wished to.

   Eryk closes their eyes, pushes their head towards the screen. Willow hardly types as… seriously… as her last message was.

   Eryk stares at the small, purple picture of Willow next to each message -- heart-shaped sunglasses, smiling at someone off-camera. Eryk took that picture for her. Eryk can still taste the air from that day, can still feel the grass beneath them. Of course, she’d taken the picture of the smoke that Eryk had always used as their picture. How many times had Eryk seen a message from Willow? Thousands. Millions. Almost constantly. Willow almost never stopped texting. But this message... these words... had such a new weight to them. 

   They hardly think as they reply.

   Where are you

   Because, of course, Eryk has to come get them. They’re already thinking to ask if they can borrow their mother’s ship when Willow replies, lightning fast as ever.

   u knw y i cnt tell u that ;C

   Just like you didnt tell me you were leaving, Eryk’s hands answer for them. They almost put a question mark -- they normally don’t because they feel it leaves the statement too hard -- but they choose not to in the last instance.

   u knw y i had 2 do that 2.

   Maybe I dont Willow, they reply. After hitting send, they add on in a new message, If you wanted to run away with someone you were dating, thats fine but you still could have told me first.

   Eryk locks the screen, sits up in finality after the period. They brush their hands at their face when another message lights up.

   ?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????? the fck r u tlkin about???!?!?! Im not d8in ny1!!!!!!!!!!! >:(

   Yeah. Like Id know that. Because you keep me so updated with whats going on in your life right

   It feels right, now, to be angry. Eryk hasn’t been angry this entire time. Only scared -- only sad. This feels right.

   At least there is some relief. Willow is not dating Tallow. Hopefully, he is not treating her the way others have treated her here.

   skies i mssgd u cuz i missed u!!!!! >:( >;c wht is ur problm????!!

   My problem is that my best friend left planet without saying anything and is now trying to pretend it isnt a big deal

   i ddnt have to mssg u u knw!!! i culdve stayed quiet!!!!!!!!!!! D:<

   Moments later, she’s back.

   lol… yes i did. ;c of course i hd to mssg u. ur my best friend eryk. still.

   And, in true Willow fashion, she launches into a tirade. They can just see her in their mind -- tongue out, concentration coursing through her body, bent over the screen as her fingers fly.

   mr. doom && gloom is gttin on my fckin nerves. im so done with him. D:<

   Officials think you ran off with Tallow, they reply.

   off. r rite. but only bcuz he hs a staff. eryk the nly reason i ddnt tell u ws bcuz i knw ud rate me out

   She means ‘rat me out’. Eryk feels more tears coming at just reading the words. They are trying to hold on to the good things: she’s alive. Tallow hasn’t abandoned her. She might be okay. They are trying not to think how far away she could still be -- trying not to wonder how close she may be to them for the first time in forever. 

   Holy skies Willow. I missed you

   i miss u 2. ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;((((((((((((((((((( emoticons arnt strong enuf :(

   I know what you mean, they type through their tears. They have to move their communicator far away enough to escape the downfall of water.

   When are you coming home, they add.

   There’s a pause.

   ……………………. eryk i cnt come bck 2 amyr. id be put to death for leavin

   Please, they try. Eryk has never been overly selfish before, but they cannot stop it. How can they live without their best friend?

   But when minutes pass and they get no response, they let out a breath of air and say, Are you happy

   its better than being on amyr if thats what you mean lol

   Her grammar improved. That means she had to think deeply about that reply. Eryk hesitates. Maybe she truly needs their help?

   I guess that is what I mean, they try. They don’t know what to say -- she said it was better than on Amyr. Better than when she was with Eryk. Better than when they were close.

   A long pause. Eryk doesn’t know what to say, but, as always, is saved by Willow.

   i hv a confession 2 make

   Okay

   i ddnt mssg u bcuz i missed u. tho i do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dnt get me wrong!!!!!!!!! fckin FCK i miss u!!!!!!!! but i mssgd u… 2 say srry. ;C ;C  4 not saying gdbye. :c :c

   Eryk sighs and closes their eyes. Willow has never been very good at saying sorry.

   I dont know if I fully forgive you yet

   i knw. dnt blame u t_t

   They release a soft breath at the emotion -- runs their fingers over the image. If they had more Amyra in them, maybe they’d be blinking in and out from the intense feelings. They close their eyes and pray -- though praying was never something they did before Willow disappeared. Now, however, it seems to highlight their life. Almost every moment is spent in it. Willow believes so avidly in the sky -- it has to save her, doesn’t it? 

   Their phone chirps, calling them back. 

   mr. doom && gloom wnts 2 leave here soon.

   Eryk knows what that means before Willow types it, and immediately responds, Please

   im srry eryk

   Please dont go. Not yet

   pls dnt tell any1 i mssged u

   I wont, they type back, oh skies I wont just promise you wont go

   They will promise anything, now. Tears rolling down their face -- choking on them -- the volume of their sobs rising so much they hear their mother swaying up the stairs, coming to check on them.

   im so srry. i cnt do nythin. gates up. i love you eryk.

   She never types out ‘I love you’. Never. Never. Never.

   I love you too Willow. Please dont leave me

   bye

   “Willow!” They’re screaming at their phone, shaking it. “Willow!”

   Willow come back

   Willow please!

   Their fingers shake as the letters light up on the screen.

   Please please please. I cant do this without you

   WILLOW!

   And then the dreaded three words light up next to Willow’s name -- out of range -- and Eryk collapses as their mother throws open the door and wraps her arms around them.

[spacednp]

Okay (Part 2)

MULTICHAPTERED VAMPIRE AU BASED LIGHTLY OFF OF PLACENTAANDLLAMA’s FIC COMING OF AGE (WITH PERMISSION)

TW: blood, gore, angst? kinda? Phil's pretty dominant of Dan... just read it bc the bit of BAMF!Phil makes it so it'll be good lol also Dan's such a bottom in this oml (no smut tho srry)

WC: 12k for the entire fic

Dan awoke in an unbelievably soft silk bed, covered in a heavy duvet that he knew wasn't his bed at home. He stirred sleepily, not really having the will to sit up. Then he remembered the events leading up to his falling asleep, or more like being knocked out. He sat up quickly and groaned at his headache. It was like a hangover only thirty times worse. His eyes adjusted rather quickly to his surroundings.

He was in a rich looking bedroom in a large bed that he could roll around in. There was two dressers and two doors, one that was open and looked as if it led to the bathroom and one that was obviously locked. There was no windows but there was a mirror on the far side of the room that Dan could see his reflection in. His hair was a mess. There was also a coffee table, two comfortable looking chairs and a bookshelf. There was two rugs, one under the bed and nightstands next to it and one under the chairs, bookshelf and coffee table. Dan noticed a note on the nightstand closest to him so he leaned over to pick it up, ignoring the aching in his joints.

Dan,

Went to training for lower Levels. Be back soon.

-Phil

That was it. No 'sorry for knocking you out' or 'sorry for kidnapping you' or 'sorry for forcing you to be my mate'. Nothing that showed he cared even remotely about Dan or his wellbeing. He left Dan to fend for himself. Dan was sure Phil knew that Dan felt like he'd been hit by a train, and then a bus. He just didn't care. Comforting.

Dan decided to stop feeling sorry for himself and check out some of the books in the bookshelf. They were all about vampires. He grabbed a random one and flipped to a random page. Of course it was on mating. It wasn't like the sexual reproduction unit he went through in science class, no, it was different.

If one doesn't complete the mating ritual by Level Four, the possibility with mating with one of their species is impossible. In order to mate after Level Four xhe must mate with one of the human species.

Dan took a moment to let that sink in. Before Level Four seemed to be the ideal mating age, but why didn't Phil mate before? It would of prevented the entire situation. Dan was confused, but he thought he understood that concept enough from those few sentences, so he skipped to the next page, still on mating.

If a vampire doesn't mate by the time they reach Level Five, xhe will grow weaker with each moon. Eventually xhe will be too weak to be of use to the clan. At any point of a vampire being in Level Five the clan may choose between three options to prevent this situation:

•Visit the nearest city and clam a suitable human for the vampire •Put the vampire to rest •Exile

These are the only options the clan has as it is against The Code to have a useless member in the clan. All members, unless pregnant, nursing, seriously injured or training, must contribute at least one Job a moon. If a member fails to do so, their clan must perform one of the above.

If a clan fails to do so, therefore breaking The Code, they will be forced into disbandment, resulting in all former members to become Loners or join a new clan.

Dan wondered if this was something he shouldn't be looking at. Was it even his right to know? Of course it was, that was a ridiculous question. He was just educating himself, right? No harm in that. Anyway, even if Phil did get upset with Dan, it wasn't like he was going to do anything too drastic, he needed Dan. If not, he'd been in a bad situation. Dan decided to keep looking through the book, flipping through the pages, reading random things.

Dan learned that a clan was just a group of vampires that chose to live together, which apparently was the most ideal way to live. Loners were vampires that decided clan life wasn't for them/got exiled/clan got disbanded. While Loners weren't all necessarily evil, it was frowned upon as they didn't all follow The Code, which was a set of laws all vampires must follow, which including things like not harming humans unless it was absolutely necessary for survival/training. Apparently killing a set number of humans was required to reach Level Five, which was the highest 'level' of training a vampire could achieve. Dan recalled that Phil was a Five and shivered at the thought of his not-consensual-but-still-future-mate being a killer. Most clans only had a few Fives though there were a few exclusive clans that was comprised only of Fives. Jobs were just assignments that needed to be done for the good of the clan and moons were months, but Dan figured that much. That was all Dan could find before the sound of the door opening made him jump.

"You're awake," Phil commented as he walked into the room. He shut the door behind him, making sure it was locked before sticking the golden key into his pocket. Dan couldn't help but notice how exhausted Phil looked. Dan didn't think vampires needed sleep, but it appeared he was wrong. Phil's steps were heavy and looked forced. His face was sunken and there were bags under his eyes. He was dressed in a black tee shirt, dark skinny jeans, and black high tops. Part of Dan was upset by how spent Phil looked, but then the rest of him didn't care because he hated the man. Hated him for what he did-and what he was going to do-to him, even though he knew it was something he had to do.

"No thanks to you," Dan retorted bitterly. He slammed the book shut, throwing it on the coffee table before leaning back into the hair he was sitting in. Phil sighed.

"You're so melodramatic," He scoffed, looking around the room, not meeting Dan's gaze. Dan narrowed his eyes at the vampire.

"I don't think so, you locked me up in a room God knows where while you did what? Training? The hell does that mean?" Dan near yelled, not fearing the blue eyes man in the least anymore. Dan was sassy, and well, a brat, he'd admit that. This case was no different than telling his mom off for yelling at him for failing a test he didn't study for.

"It means I was teaching younger clan members how to defend themselves," Phil rolled his eyes. "I'll have to train you soon as well," He walked over to the bed and plopped down, sitting on the side of the bed Dan slept on so he was facing the human.

"Well then do it! I wanna learn things!" Dan exclaimed, ignoring the part of him that despised Phil and everything associated with him. Phil chuckled lightly.

"Can't yet," He stated simply. Dan frowned, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Why not?" Dan whined. Phil gave Dan a crooked smile, the white gleam of his teeth showing slightly. Dan envied his teeth for a moment.

"Well for one, I haven't slept in weeks and I'm starting to get tired," Phil began. Dan thought that was an understatement but said nothing. "Second, you're not ready and third, I have jobs I need to do," Dan whined and pouter slightly.

"Do I get no privileges with having to be your mate?" Dan groaned. Phil laughed lightly.

"Not until the mating ritual begins, which I'm dreading by the way," Phil said weakly. Dan couldn't help but notice how calm and relaxed Phil was being. He didn't seem like someone-er... something-on death row.

"Why? Am I not good enough to mate with?" Dan asked sarcastically. He knew he was decent on the eyes, or at least he'd been told so on multiple occasions, but it didn't help his ego. In fact, it probably added to his little attitude problem.

"Eh, I just really don't want a repeat of last-never mind," Phil shook his head and looked away from Dan. Dan furrowed his eyebrows and uncrossed his arms to push himself out of the chair. He walked over to where Phil sat and crossed his arms again, looking at him expectantly.

"Continue," Dan commanded, sass lacing his voice. He still hated Phil, after all. Phil cocked an eyebrow at Dan, who didn't look intimating in the least with his messy brown hair and Pokémon pajamas.

"Oh? You think you can boss me around, hm?" Phil questioned, his voice dropping an octave. Dan felt his stomach sink and his knees buckled. A voice wasn't supposed to effect him that much, what was wrong with him? Dan nodded once, swallowing at the lump in his throat that prevented him from speaking. "Well, we'll have go work on that attitude if yours, won't we?" Dan almost felt sick at the thought, but in a sick way it excited him. God, a vampire threaten him wasn't supposed to excite him. Dan had a problem.

Before Dan knew what was happening Phil had him pinned to the comfortable bed, holding both his wrists with a single hand. His legs were on either side of Dan's hips. Phil was dangerously close to Dan's face, to the point where he felt his breath when he spoke. Phil still smelt like vanilla and Dan was sick of the sent. He hopped getting pinned by Phil wouldn't become a natural occurrence. Phil brushed Dan's fringe out of his face gently with the hand that didn't hold his wrists, eyes scanning the boy's face.

"You're going to learn pretty soon who controls who, got it?" Phil breathed. Dan didn't responded, lump in his throats preventing it. Phil didn't like that. He tightened his grip on Dan, causing the boy under him to wince. "Got it?" He repeated harshly.

"Y-Yes Phil," Dan gasped, silently chiding himself for stuttering. Though it was pretty hard to not stutter when an actual vampire was pinning him down.

"Good boy," Phil sung, loosening his grip on Dan's wrist slightly. "The sooner you stop being such a brat, the sooner our training begins, got it?" Phil's voice had a sharp edge to it and it caused Dan to wither beneath him.

"Yes," Dan whispered, warm brown eyes glued to Phil's icy blue ones. Most of him hated this, but a small part of him loved it so much he didn't want it to end. Loved that side of Phil.

"Now, I have to sleep now, you'll be good, got it?" Phil hissed. It wasn't a question. He was telling Dan he got it, 'no' wasn't the right answer, and Dan knew that.

"Yes," Dan breathed, still watching Phil closely. Phil nodded before getting off of Dan. He crawled over to the opposite side of the bed than Dan slept on earlier and Dan realized that they would be sharing a bed. He didn't say anything though. He sat up slowly and watched Phil closely as he turned away from Dan and his breathing deepened.

Once Dan was sure Phil was asleep he stood up, going back to the book he was reading. He flipped to a random page. It was on mating again. Just his luck.

Vampires naturally dominate their mate, not only during reproduction but also in everyday activities. It is their way of showing ownership. This also includes the short time in between choosing a mate and beginning the mating ceremony, which begins soon after the vampire deems their mate ready to begin training.

Dan furrowed his eyebrows at the page before looking up at Phil nervously. He felt like a teen girl hiding smutty fan fiction from her parents. He figured Phil was still sleeping and looked back to the page.

Mating must be consensual to some degree. If a vampire must make their mate comfortable. If not, it is against The Code and is punishable by exile.

Dan shook his head. He'd never agree to mating with Phil. But the training thing excited him enough for him to decide he wasn't going to try and run away, so maybe he would agree to be Phil's mate because of Phil was a Five, it meant there was lots of things he could teach to Dan. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise, maybe mating with Phil wasn't the worst thing in the world.

However, it wasn't really worth never seeing his family again. He loved them, but he didn't love Phil. At the time, Dan despised Phil. Tears clouded Dan's eyes as he looked down at the book. The once crystal clear text began to blur into a black and white blob as tears started to drip onto the yellowing paper. He'd never see his mother again, nor his father, or his brother. Never wake up to Mum cooking pancakes. Never laugh as his father tried in vain to explain sports to him. Never help his brother with homework at the dinning room table. All of that was ripped from him. He loved his family. Would he ever feel that way about Phil? Probably not. Could he enjoy Phil at times and appreciate him as a person? Perhaps, one day, many years in the future.

Dan wiped at his face, slapping his cheeks lightly to get himself to calm down. There was nothing he could do about his situation, best to not cry over spilled milk. It was bound to happen, he'd have to make to most of it. Dan wasn't really tired and he had just woken up, but he forced himself to set down the book and walk over to the bed Phil slept in and lay down on the other side, back facing Phil's.

He thought about his family until he finally drifted off to sleep, matching his breathing to Phil's.

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