STAR LIGHT, STAR BRIGHT
"It's a beautiful summer night -- perfect for looking at the stars," Lydia said. She and Beej were up on the roof, laying on their backs and looking up at the sky. "That's one thing Winter River has over New York -- you can actually see stars here. New York is too built up, too bright."
She looked over at her friend. The demon was entranced by the twinkling lights in the sky.
"Do you know their names?" he asked.
"Some of them." Lydia started pointing them out and naming them. "That's Polaris, the North Star," she said. "And that's Rigel, and Sirius ... and there's the Summer Triangle -- Deneb, Vega and Altair.
"And that one's Betelgeuse," she said, pointing. "Your namesake star."
"Where?" Beej asked excitedly.
"That one right there -- Orion's right shoulder. See it?"
"It's red," the demon said, his voice filled with wonder. "My favourite colour."
"It's a red giant," she told him. "It's six hundred and forty light-years away, I think. It's so bright because it's gonna explode and go supernova."
"It's gonna die?"
"Uh-huh. It's gonna light up the sky -- probably for months. Maybe years."
Beej's face fell, and he suddenly became very quiet. He sat up, hugging his knees.
"What's wrong?" Lydia asked, pushing herself up to sit beside him.
"I was named after that star," Beej said, wiping away a tear. "And now I find out that it's gonna die."
"It's okay," Lydia told him, putting an arm around his shoulders. "All stars die. But it's not gonna happen for a very long time -- like a hundred thousand years, maybe. We'll all be long gone before then." She smiled wistfully. "It's kinda too bad -- it'd be amazing to see it."
"I'll see it," he said, sighing. "The death of my namesake."
Lydia bit her lip -- she'd forgotten that Beej was already dead. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean --"
The demon squeezed his eyes shut. "I know you didn't," he replied. "It just makes me sad, is all -- I don't know why."
Lydia hugged him. "You have a connection to that star -- even if it's just because of your name. Now that I think about it, it is kinda sad."
He turned to her. "When it dies, what ... what happens to me?"
"What do you mean?"
"We have the same name, that star and me," he explained. "We're connected -- you said so yourself. So when it dies, what happens to me?"
She smiled softly. "Nothing," she replied. "Nothing will happen to you. Having the same name doesn't mean anything, really -- you don't share the same fate."
"Are you sure?"
Lydia nodded. "Of course I'm sure." She hugged him again. "You'll still be around long after Betelgeuse is nothing but a memory."
He smiled ruefully, the tears running down his cheeks. "But nobody else'll be -- not you, or Chuck and Dee, or Dewey ... even Adam and Babs'll be gone by then. I'll be all alone again, with not even my star to keep me company."
Lydia swallowed the lump in her throat as she held him in her arms. She looked up at the red giant, and suddenly her eyes were filled with tears as well.
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I woke up an hour and a half ago, and my stomach feels like its filled with honey. Let's go.
[Like last time, I'm writing the entire liveblog in Notepad before pasting it in; it worked better than I thought.]
Okay, so, then why did they skip the saga sell last week, if they're going to play it this time?
Mr. Sandman, the most tonally appropriate song to welcome us into One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: Ragnarok.
Once again, I would like to ask how the fuck Ben wound up in the worse insane asylum.
"He has short term memory loss. Dump his ass in the Looney Bin."
So, he's pretending to be pretending to have mental problems, so he can save the wife's sister. This won't backfire.
"My promise to you is this: Welcome to Hell."
And right away, we are off to a swmming start.
Why does Nurse Rached here look like a tax accountant?
I see we're in the part of the building where electricity is banned.
Okay, this straight up was a jail originally.
"Yeah, in case you thought OG Quantum Leap whitewashed the 1950s, here's the reality check."
"You know, Ben's had a rough couple leaps. Dump him into the insane asylum so he can go beddie bye."
Is this on a fucking island?!
"So, yeah, remember how we wanted me to go to sleep. Didn't work."
Ben wound up in Prison Break.
"Hey. Why were you talking to ghosts?"
Coffee: History's Worst Invention
"1954 was a dark time for mental health." >Shock Theater would like to know your location…
Translation: Jenn's actor needed a break after carrying last week.
Glad to know they remembered Janis exists.
Okay, how much longer until Tax Accountant gets punched, I already hate him.
"Coffee's dishwater-" Yeah, so, what else is new? (ba dum tish)
Okay, so Ben legitimately is in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
Plot Twist: They cut out Lou's tongue.
Why does Judith look like an extra from Riverdale?
Ben, maybe speak quieter?
"YOU SAID NO PROBLEMS! TALKING TO A WOMAN IS A PROBLEM!"
And we already have a riot.
"Okay, that guy got needled, now we can talk."
"Ian, why was there a picture of a brain?"
Plot Twist: Ben's there to get the asylum shut down two decades early.
ESCAPE ROUTE: In case you forgot we needed an escape route.
Glad to know Beth woke up from her coma.
…did Janis get recast, or am I just getting tripped up by the new hairdo?
"If he's in 1954, this is our last chance!" "There's two more episodes this season, what are you on?!"
"Look, I know you're here to bust me out, but newsflash, we got more people to save."
I technically called it.
What if the solution is just burning this place to the ground.
Ben, talk quieter?
Okay, I'm calling it: This was originally meant to be a prison leap, but they pivoted, and they forgot to change the setting fully.
Oh. Goody. Martinez leapt into Nurse Rached…
"Hey, what is Martinez doing there?" My guess? Torturing Ben.
HOLY SHIT. THEY FUCKING REMEMBERED THE EVIL LEAPER PROJECT EXISTED.
What if it turns out Martinez isn't evil? That the reason why he "wants to win" against Ben because he's just leaping around for fun, and Ben keeps screwing with him without knowing it?
"Ben, it's almost five o'clock." Meanwhile, in my world, it's 10:22pm.
MORAL OF THE STORY: If you try to express yourself with painting, you get sent to the bathroom.
Ben is now speedrunning the episode, so expect things to backfire horribly.
ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND they found the torture dungeon.
Ben's turning to an old timey safe cracker, this episode has fucking everything…
Why does an island-based insane asylum have a parking lot?
"I'm here to help you. Scout's honor."
And, in case you were hoping the doctor wasn't the antagonist…
And Ben got needled.
And now we enter the "Star Light, Star Bright" portion of the program.
And Ben's gonna get fucking electroshocked, good fucking job.
Also, he broke faster than Sam, just an aside.
It would be fucking funny, though, if this leap was taking place at the same time as Shock Theater.
Ben, congratulations, you fucked the leap.
Either the doctor doesn't believe him, or he has the best poker face in the land.
He's going fucking cut Ben's head open. Ben instantly outshown Sam in the "Shit Luck" department.
"Why is she here, I thought we had her locked in the broom closet."
"Martinez leaps to help people, like Ben!" "So is he, or is he not the fucking Bad guy?!"
"Ben has to sabotage the leap!" Meanwhile in the distance, Sam Beckett is fucking screaming in frustration.
Also, did you not see the previous scene? Ben already did that.
Janis, the show got renewed, Ben ain't sacrificing shit.
Addison, you already know he can see you. HE SPOKE TO YOU.
Janis is about to go back into the broom closet, Magic is super fucking pissed.
"Look, I'm here for Judith. Go away."
…don't kill the nurse?
…he's going to use that to stab the doctor, calling it.
"Look, I don't know if you're actually on our side or not, but brass tacks time: You can't stab nurses to save the day, and Ben fucked himself over and is about to get lobotomized. You willing to play ball?"
At least Ben finally got to sleep.
"Look, O'Connor, you think I'm not above beating the shit out of a man in a straightjacket?"
"Addison said I couldn't stab a nurse. Knocking out orderlies wasn't against the rules."
Glad to see the straightjacket was a problem for all of one scene.
Martinez: Sucks at poker.
"Wait… I got a syringe… And there's a stool… … … (smashes a window)"
Ice Pick Lobotomies: The Safest Way to Murder
"STOP! I have an actual hostage! Put the ice pick down!"
Tossing the "hostage" to take down someone. A+ Gambit
"Look, believe it or not, he's helping, I'm just as surprised."
Okay, why are they now in a tunnel from Aliens?
"Oh shit. A ladder."
Okay, sewer's open. Time for a last minute conflict!
Seriously, there's 14 minutes left, something's gonna happen.
"Not bad for a pacifist." And three… two… one…
And Ben has cracked his skull. He got fucking stabbed in the jugular and fell onto concrete from a couple feet on high, Ben has cracked his fucking skull.
[Wait, since when the fuck does Tumblr have a character limit?]
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