#starters • all roads lead to where i started.

[guscaldwcll]

I always forget how many pranksters live in Merrock until I somehow fall for another April Fool's joke. This time it was my neighbor telling me that one of my cows had gotten loose. I went to go look outside until I realized that I didn't even own any cows, and that they were just pulling my leg. Did you fall for any pranks today? Or better yet, did you get to do one?

[seat-safety-switch]

Lotta people have been asking questions about the new electric cars. Namely: where do I get one and why do they still cost so much fucking money? First answer is: buy them from your reputable local Switch Motors dealer on our Premium Fleece® incentive plan.

The answer to the second question is simple. Batteries. Have you bought a new starter battery for your car lately? It's made mostly of lead (basically free,) acid (also free,) and plastic (people will pay you to get rid of it,) and it costs two hundred dollars. And that's just some boring old lead-acid battery that doesn't work properly in the winter or when you do something like forget to drive your car for eight months.

Modern electric cars are equipped with high-technology future batteries that can provide the beefy amps required to make your chunky-ass family shoot down the road in silent cough-drop comfort. They use a bunch of parts of the periodic table that I've certainly never heard of (I thought hydride was a video game for the Nintendo?) and when your mileage starts to drop, you have to take them to the Apple Store to have a guy who questions your clothing taste pry open the cells and suck the bad juices out. Because of this, an electric car with a dead battery can be gotten for the money that fell into your couch when you kidnapped a rich person and forced them to sit on your couch.

Don't worry, though. I got a solution. It's called the grid. All we have to do is put a bunch of power lines recklessly close to the highway, and then we can chuck one of those subway-train pantograph poles on top. Unlimited power! The beancounters can probably work out some way to pay by the kilometer, and everyone's happy unless they have to change lanes.

[tenebraevesper]

Knuckles (My Thoughts)

So, I have watched Knuckles, the 2024 show that basically came out yesterday, and before watching it, I have heard a lot of mixed opinions, ranging from ''the show is great'' to ''the show is awful, I hate it''. I had figured I might as well add my thoughts to the fray.

There will be spoilers in this review, so if you haven't watched the show, you had your warning.

So, for starters... this show is absolutely bonkers, and I definitely enjoyed watching it! X3

Honestly, I feel like there was a pretty good mix of comedy and action, and while there is some over the top acting, it didn't really take away from my enjoyment. It was a pretty wild ride from start to finish, and I kinda want to know what the writers were smoking during some scenes, because there were moments where things just get a bit surreal.

The show is also peppered with a lot of emotional moments, but I'll get to that bit in a moment. So far, I think people were right when they called this Sonic the Hedgehog, but it's Knuckles and Wade instead of Sonic and Tom.

The main crux of the show is that Knuckles has a bit of a crisis. He has found the Master Emerald, he has found friends in Sonic and Tails... and the only reason he's on Earth is because of that promise to them, as he clearly doesn't feel like he is at home... yet. So, how does he deal with that struggle?

Well, Pachacamac tells him what to do. Not gonna lie, even though I had expected him to appear, I was still baffled, because Pachacamac in this show is basically Oogway, Mufasa and Mr. Miyagi rolled into one. Clearly, Knuckles still holds great admiration for him, but let's remember that this was the guy who hunted down Sonic and Longclaw, leading to the mutual massacre. And now, he's a ghost that Knuckles can talk to, a lá Tikal. Kinda weird, but I think this is also the moment the show doesn't give a damn about being grounded.

Pachacamac suggests Knuckles that he should continue the legacy of the Echidnas, with Wade Whipple becoming his new protégé. Knuckles knows Wade is a loser, but he accepts, especially given Wade's determination to show everyone and their mother that he isn't some kind of loser and will become the bowling champion at the tournament in Reno, Nevada. So, he and Knuckles go on a road trip there while also being hunted down by two rogue G.U.N. agents, who want to deliver Knuckles to The Buyer, a guy who formerly worked for Robotnik and wants to use his quills to power his weapons.

Now, I will first start with the negative stuff that I noticed during the plot. Yes, people were correct, the second half of the show does focus a lot on Wade and his family rather than on Knuckles. Should it focus more on the titular character? Absolutely! Am I disappointed with what we got? Ehh... not really. Not gonna lie, I was actually quite invested in Wade's family drama.

Honestly, I can't really think of any complaint aside from the lack of Knuckles' screentime. Maybe it would've been better if the show focused on Knuckles bonding with Sonic and Tails, but it was always advertised as a Knuckles and Wade road trip, so I can't say I was lied to (not to mention, we had a whole movie of Sonic, Tails and Knuckles bonding). I suppose that another thing to add to it is the abrupt ending, although we do get a post-credits scene with Knuckles and Wade going to their next adventure, and the fact that they just don't address some plot points (like we don't know how the Wachowski family reacted to Knuckles' absence).

Well, that's my negative thoughts on the show, what's the positive stuff?

First of all, Knuckles himself - he is absolutely awesome every moment he gets! His character is on point, and he gets a lot of goofy, but also very wholesome moments. He also works very well with Wade, their personalities bouncing off each other and their interactions can turn from hilarious to absolutely heartwarming, especially when bonding over their respective lives.

I think that's a really strong point of this show - Knuckles helping Wade, in his own way, to overcome his insecurities, while just being his Echidna Warrior self. At the same time, he also learns about simple things in life, like ''what his jam is'' (to no one's surprise, it's the show's theme song, The Warrior by Scandal) or about Wade's family's traditions, as well as finally accepting that Earth is his home.

Also, Knuckles and Wade's mother beating up the bounty hunters was one of the best scenes in the show, hands down.

As I said previously, I also got quite interested in Wade's family life. I really like his mother, but his sister is a bitch, even if she stands by Wade's side. His father, not gonna lie, Pistol Pete gets the same amount of hate from me as Locke... Huh, maybe they did base Wade's father on one of the most hated characters from the Sonic Archie comics? After all, both abandoned their sons for a ''greater purpose''. In any case, it was satisfying seeing Wade beating his father in the bowling tournament and use what he learned during his journey.

Furthermore, this show is peppered with many lore bits, but the most jaw-dropping is this one:

So, if you guys don't know, this is Iblis, one of the Big Bosses of Sonic the Hedgehog (2006), alongside Mephiles, and basically the main reason Silver the Hedgehog and Blaze the Cat went back to the past to save the future, with Silver fighting Sonic due to the belief that he was responsible for the apocalyptic wasteland that is Silver's future. Both Iblis and Mephiles are halves of the sun god Solaris, who was defeated by Super Sonic, Super Shadow and Super Silver.

So, in this show, in this story told to us via a rock opera arranged by Pachacamac and starring an... unconscious (dead?) Wade? *shrugs* So, yeah, in this story, apparently, Knuckles defeated Iblis with the Flames of Disaster, aka beating him up with flaming fists.

Not gonna lie, that's metal.

Also, another lore bit that is dropped is how a different alien visited Reno for a bowling tournament in 1974, which tells me either two things:

One possibility is that it was Shadow who appeared at the bowling tournament, which is but funny and pretty awesome, and now I have an image of Shadow, Maria and Gerald Robotnik wearing those bowling T-shirts.

The other possibility is that Black Doom dropped after making his deal with Gerald and decided to sign up the Black Arms for a tournament, which is just plain hilarious.

So, yeah, overall, I liked the show. Is it the best? Not really, but it is something I'd rewatch if I want something fun and wholesome.

#Sonic Cyber Revolution (Masterlist)

[threefolddefencespeech]

WorldCon!

So - WorldCon's over. I'm safely back home, very tired, only mildly ill, definitely getting the con drop or at least experiencing far too many post con emotions (what do you mean there won't be another one nearby for five years?). So perfect time to write a bit about it. I'm not going to get everything in here, but let's ramble incoherently about some highlights.

The Hugos

My spouse (and the rest of their team) won a Hugo! I am so proud and happy for them - it is, I say with incredible bias and no objectivity, very very well deserved. How could getting to celebrate that not be a highlight?

So. Let's move on to some book opinions. This year, I managed to read almost all of the best novel finalists (bar Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi, which I'm still a few chapters into and ping ponging off. Let's say I'm pretty sure where my opinion was going to lie). So I get to have some more detailed opinions than most years, which is fun/regrettable for anyone who got an earful from me about Starter Villain!

It's always interesting to see what makes the Hugo shortlist. This year, a truly massive gulf emerged between my two favourites, the middle-of-the-roads, and one real "no, really, why was this here?" option.

Out in front were Saint of Bright Doors (Vajra Chandrasekera) and Some Desperate Glory (Emily Tesh). I can already see this post getting enormous, so I'll try and be quick (this is a lie).

Saint of Bright Doors is wonderful - the first chapter introduces us to a clear chosen one narrative, with Fetter raised with a destiny: to kill his cult leader father. The second rejects it utterly. Fetter ignores his destiny and his mother's calls, and immigrates to a city - one that has elements of socialist ideal, but gradually reveals more and more of itself to be a fascist police state, and in every case is wonderfully strange. He joins a group of fellow religious "unchosen ones". He drifts. His father's cult grows in influence, and threatens to pull him once more into orbit - but this is not so conventional a story as to fully let it. And he becomes fascinated with the city's bright doors, which lead nowhere, and are unopenable. In a less talented writer's hands, this would feel disjointed. Instead it's wonderful - a dreamy-but-grounded, mythic-but-real story of aimless reality pitted against religious destiny, of cults and pogroms and the structures that lie beneath the world. I have my problems with the ending. But had I liked it more, I suspect it would have been a worse book.

Some Desperate Glory tells a story of a militarised future human society, living to avenge the Earth. It is also, in many ways, a cult. Where Some Desperate Glory particularly succeeds is that its protagonist isn't an outlier. How many dystopias have you read in which the lead is an outcast, or always felt subtly wrong in the society, never quite fit in? But Kyr is in so many ways this future society's model citizen. Which makes her growth - her experimentation in the wider world - and the ways in which this society still abuses her, and still fails her because she can't live up to its ideals, far more powerful. She's not a comfortable head to make a home in, at least to start with, but it's a far better novel for that. While what the novel's doing is far clearer than Saint, it does go to some interesting places - and explores these cultish power structures on various scales. I have quibbles and gripes. Do I wish more page space had been devoted to developing the novel's visions of alternative versions of Kyr, rather than slamming in character development in fast forward? Yes, and I would have happily sacrificed a few big action setpieces (which is where I suspect that space went) to get there. But it's still a powerful book.

Saint definitely my preference there, but both worthy winners.

Then we had the middle of the pack.

Leckie's Translation State was... fine? I expected more, though. We had some alien weirdness, but it was wrapped around a story which had the exact same plot arc as a typical YA arranged marriage novel, with the characters ending up in exactly the same places you'd expect. Aside from one, who simply gets forgotten about. It was perfectly pleasant, but revolutionising the genre this is not.

Martha Wells' Witch King is a secondary world fantasy, told with a flashback-interweaving-with-present-events structure, in a way that's far more evenly balanced between the two narratives than most, with the past narrative holding most of the explanation of characters and relationships highly relevant to the present. However, it fails to really make it work - it sacrifices a lot of character development and foreshadowing for the actual plot to get this structure working, which means the actual key revelations fall a little flat when they come. It's not a bad book! There's some fun magic system stuff, some mildly interesting possession-of-different-gendered body stuff... but it's not life changing, just a fun attempted structural twist on an otherwise pretty classic secondary world fantasy.

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi - well, it's a middle eastern pirate fantasy. The historical inspiration is great here - rich and vibrant. But the prose is clunky - it's doing Historical Feminism but in a really obvious, unsubtle way that's clearly just 2024 views projected backwards, or at least that's how it seems from the "ah, we mens often think x about a powerful lady, don't we?" narrator chapter. I like engaging with these topics, but can I wish for a bit more nuance and some better writing? Mind you, I'm only a few chapters into this one, and keep bouncing off. It might get better when I push through. From what others have said, I doubt it - but I can't really say. I'm maybe being harsh from initial impressions here.

So most of this middle group are small twists or weirdnesses upon otherwise pretty familiar genre novels.

Then there's Starter Villain, which is the only "really, why is this here?" novel of the list. I suspect just because Scalzi's a big name in SFF, and name recognition gets you a long way at the nomination stage. While I might quibble with the middle group - probably there was more interesting SFF published last year? - this was a novel-length shaggy dog story. It's not funny enough to be farce or satire - but it's not doing anything else. The protagonist's main defining traits are "very divorced", "likes cats", and I suppose "vaguely nice". Everyone speaks in the same way. And this goes nowhere - other than a few jokes about dolphins and venture capitalists along the way. Maybe if this hadn't been up for the Hugo, I wouldn't have hated this so much. But I expected something. This was my first Scalzi, and I probably won't choose to repeat the experience.

So, how'd the voting turn out? Some Desperate Glory won, which I vaguely suspected - felt like it had broader appeal as a slightly more traditional novel than Saint of Bright Doors anyway. But Hugo votership, why did you do Saint quite so dirty? It's so far down the list. On the other hand - faith marginally restored by Starter Villain ending up in a clear last place.

Which is to say: probably good job overall, Hugo votership, but you're on some shaky ground. :P

The Panels

Panels! I went to lots of them. I was terribly sabotaged by my very first panel, Revolutions in Speculative Fiction, setting the bar far too high. I was largely picking panels based on people + a vaguely interesting topic, with a few exceptions. Ada Palmer's and Arkady Martine's definitely proved that method of panel picking works well.

...after Dublin, the other thing I learned (alongside picking based on people) was that I really shouldn't plan my con too inflexibly or intensively. So despite wanting to go to 4 things in every slot, I paced myself - I missed out on an interesting panel and went to hang out with people or Do Food occasionally, especially when emotion + tiredness demanded it, and I probably had a better con for it.

There were worse panels too. Several on interestingly nuanced topics had a tendency to regress into more basic topics - particularly into cultural appropriation 101. Cultural Appropriation 101 is not a bad panel topic! It's an incredibly necessary one. But it's also a panel I have been to several times now, and while I think other panels should certainly touch on it where relevant, I wanted a bit more than Different Topic 101 from "Ancient Cultures and Context" and the discussion of religion in fantasy, for instance.

Overall though, I had a good time with the panels - even when frustrating (cough, Scalzi showboating and talking over other panelists in "Systems as Villains" when he didn't actually have anything to say, cough), they were fuel for conversation with interesting people, and there were some truly interesting ideas in there too. Maybe I'll manage to incorporate a few into my own writing. I hope so.

Self-Indulgent Gender Stuff

I'll try not to ramble about this too much, but it was pretty significant to my con experience. This was my first con since coming out as a trans woman (it also coincided with my 1 year anniversary of starting HRT). Honestly, coming up to it, I was pretty stressed - despite knowing on paper that a substantial part of WorldCon is queer nerds, it didn't quite make it through to my brain, or at least I suppose endocrine system (I worry about my appearance anyway, and was just coming off a bit of a doomspiral about my features at the 12 month mark, which may not have helped!).

But everyone was genuinely very nice about it - including everyone I already knew, but who hadn't seen me since pre-transition. And you know, it did feel really good to be able to present the way I actually wanted to at other cons (pre transition, I can't deny a certain - large - amount of envy at fem con + cosplay outfits, and I actually get to do some of that now). I even got some compliments on my outfits, which was very flattering (plus one person inexplicably wanting to draw me at the Hugo afterparty).

Did that stop me from worrying? Silly question. I still spent a lot of the con convinced I looked terrible in so, so many ways, and had to frequently borrow some reassurance from spouse and friend (I'm so sorry). There were a few low points. But I'm so glad I did it. Hopefully the start of many more cons presenting more comfortably.

Plus, I have discovered a great secret. My terrible dancing is drastically improved by the addition of a swooshy skirt. (Well, maybe some other stuff helped too, but I'll go with that)

People

I've talked a lot about official, organised things where I was there as a spectator: panels, the Hugos. But really, so much of WorldCon is just spending time with lovely people.

I got to do lots of the con with spouse and a soon-to-be-ex-Oxford friend, who I have really fond memories of doing other cons with. Lots of silly late night dancing. Lots of in depth discussions, from the deeply absurd to the (maybe) absurdly deep (or maybe just the former all over again). I got to see other Oxford friends in the magic con zone! @frith-in-tombs between track stuff and @vivelabagatelle occasionally too.

I got to catch up with other friends, especially the ex-Oxford folks! It was lovely to spend more time with @howlsmovinglibrary again (who also ran some excellent panels, and has definitely sold me on this villainess book), as well as Entourage, @cardboardmoose, and others (if I haven't named you explicitly it's probably because I thought the only way I've got of naming you might be too identifiable, and I don't know your name on here).

I got to meet new people, which honestly is one of the best things at a con. I spent a lovely night chatting to @canmom about all sorts of diversely interesting things, from opera to game design - completely unexpectedly after inexplicably working up the courage to venture a "hey, you're not [tumblr name] on tumblr, are you?" (at least I didn't comment on anybody's shoelaces, is all I can say in my defence). I met a distant friend from Discord and compared very different con plans - and a truly excellent crocheted Mr Pages. I chatted with a few more in panels. I finally got to hang out with Roseanna more than in passing (typically we've wound up communicating only through a mutual friend, Entourage since we've never really overlapped properly - I remember back when she asked me about reviewing, and look how the tables have tabled!) and had a great time dissecting the Hugos. (Another very well deserved Hugo win btw). I also learned that apparently I was referred to frequently as DAF by her and said friend, and she's completely forgotten what it stood for? I have a pressing need to solve this mystery.

And of course, there are some friends I dearly miss being able to con with too. Perhaps one day we'll be able to do so again.

What Next?

As I mentioned, so many post-con emotions! Five years really is too long between travellable worldcons for my liking.

Which means resolution 1 is: maybe I should do more cons? While flying transatlantic for WorldCon feels like a Lot, I've never made it to an Eastercon before, and I think I'd like to.

I've also reached out to plan a few meetups with nearby-ish worldcon people like Roseanna - I miss the con energy, and I think I'd like to get some more chats about books and such in my life. (Alas, distance remains a barrier for yet others!)

I also want to engage with more SFF writing - I read a fair few novels, but I feel like I miss out on a lot of reviews and criticism these days, and I miss that.

And as always, I come away wanting to put more energy into my own creative work - I've been planning a bigger IF-ish game (than my small silly/gift games I've made) for a long time, and maybe this is the time I'll manage the sustained effort to make it happen (and feel like I have My Own Stuff next WorldCon!). Hehe. Well, I can dream, anyway.

I should probably also catch up on sleep at some point.

It was a wonderful, exhausting, fascinating con - thank you to everyone who made it happen, whether more generally, or for me specifically. :)

[fullstcp]

"1989 (Taylor's Version)" Sentence Starters

WELCOME TO NEW YORK

"Everybody here wanted something more."

"I could dance to this beat, forevermore."

"The lights are so bright, but they never blind me."

"Everybody here was someone else before."

"You can want who you want."

"Like any great love, it keeps you guessing."

"Like any true love, it drives you crazy."

"But you know you wouldn't change anything."

BLANK SPACE

"Nice to meet you, where you been?"

"I could show you incredible things."

"Oh, my god, look at that face."

"You look like my next mistake."

"Love's a game, wanna play?"

"I can read you like a magazine."

"Ain't it funny? Rumors fly."

"I know you heard about me."

"I'm dying to see how this one ends."

"It's gonna be forever or it's gonna go down in flames."

"We're young and we're reckless."

"We'll take this way too far."

"It'll leave you breathless or with a nasty scar."

"The worst is yet to come."

"I can make all the tables turn."

"I get drunk on jealousy."

"You'll come back each time you leave."

"I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream."

"Boys only want love if it's torture."

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

STYLE

"Could end in burning flames or paradise."

"It's been a while since I have even heard from you."

"I should just tell you to leave cause I know exactly where it leads."

"I watch us go round and round each time."

"When we go crashing down, we come back every time."

"We never go out of style."

"I heard that you've been out and about with some other girl/guy."

"What you heard is true."

"I can't stop thinking about you."

"I've been there too a few times."

"Just take me home."

OUT OF THE WOODS

"Looking at it now, it all seems so simple."

"I remember."

"The rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color."

"Are we out of the woods yet?"

"Are we in the clear yet?"

"We were built to fall apart and fall back together."

"Remember when you hit the brakes too soon?"

"When you started crying, baby, I did too."

"Remember when we couldn't take the heat?"

"The monsters turned out to be just trees."

ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS STAY

"People like you always want back the love they gave away."

"People like me wanna believe you when you say you've changed."

"The more I think about it now, the less I know."

"All I know is that you drove us off the road."

"All you had to do was stay."

"Now you say you want it back, now that it's just too late."

"It could've been easy."

"I don't know what to say."

"I've been picking up the pieces of the mess you made."

"People like you always want back the love they pushed aside."

"People like me are gone forever when you say goodbye."

"Let me remind you, this was what you wanted."

"You ended it."

"You were all I wanted, but not like this."

SHAKE IT OFF

"I stay out too late."

"I go on too many dates, but I can't make them stay."

"At least, that's what people say."

"I never miss a beat."

"I'm lightning on my feet."

"That's what they don't see."

"I make the moves up as I go."

"That's what they don't know."

"My ex-man brought his new girlfriend."

"Won't you come on over, baby?"

I WISH YOU WOULD

"It's in the past."

"You're thinking that I hate you now, cause you still don't know what I never said."

"I wish you would come back."

"Wish I never hung up the phone like I did."

"Wish you knew that I'll never forget you as long as I live."

"Wish you were right here, right now."

"I wish we could go back and remember what we were fighting for."

"I miss you too much to be mad anymore."

"You always knew how to push my buttons."

"You gave me everything and nothing."

"This mad, mad love makes you come running."

BAD BLOOD

"Now we've got bad blood."

"Take a look what you've done."

"Now we've got problems, and I don't think we can solve them."

"You made a really deep cut."

"Did you have to do this?"

"I was thinking that you could be trusted."

"Did you have to hit me where I'm weak?"

"It's so sad to think about the good times."

"Did you think we'd be fine?"

"Still got scars in my back from your knife."

"These kind of wounds they last and they last."

"Did you think it all through?"

"All these things will catch up to you."

"Time can heal, but this won't."

"If you're coming my way, just don't."

"Band-aids don't fix bullet holes."

"You say sorry just for show."

"If you live like that, you live with ghosts."

"If you love like that, blood runs cold."

WILDEST DREAMS

"Heaven can't help me now."

"Nothing lasts forever."

"This is gonna take me down."

"He's/she's/they're so bad, but he/she/they do(es) it so well."

"I can see the end as it begins."

"Say you'll remember me."

"Say you'll see me again, even if it's just in your wildest dreams."

"But this is getting good now."

"And when we've had our very last kiss..."

"My last request is."

"You'll see me in hindsight, tangled up with you all night."

"Someday when you leave me, I bet these memories follow me around."

HOW YOU GET THE GIRL

"Are you insane?"

"It's been a long six months."

"You were too afraid to tell her/him/them what you want."

"I want you for worse or for better."

"I would wait forever and ever."

"Broke your heart, I'll put it back together."

"Remind her/him/them how it used to be."

"Tell her/him/them how you must've lost your mind."

"Remind me how it used to be."

"Say you want me."

"That's how it works."

"That's how you got the girl."

THIS LOVE

"High tide came and brought you in."

"I could go on and on, and I will."

"And you were just gone."

"I never dreamed of this."

"This love is good."

"This love is bad."

"This love is alive, back from the dead."

"This love came back to me."

"I watched you leave."

"When you're young, you just run."

"But you come back to what you need."

I KNOW PLACES

"I can hear them whisper as we pass by."

"It's a bad sign."

"Something happens when everybody finds out."

"Love's a fragile little flame, it could burn out."

"I know places we won't be found."

"They'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down."

"I know places we can hide."

"Let them say what they want, we won't hear it."

"Loose lips sink ships all the damn time. Not this time."

"Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it."

"They take their shots, but we're bulletproof."

"You know for me, it's always you."

"I know for you, it's always me."

CLEAN

"The drought was the very worst."

"It was months and months of back and forth."

"You're still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore."

"When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe."

"I think I am finally clean."

"There was nothing left to do."

"The water filled my lungs."

"I screamed so loud, but no one heard a thing."

"Just because you're clean, don't mean you don't miss it."

"Now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it."

WONDERLAND

"You held on tight to me."

"Nothing's as it seems."

"Didn't they tell us don't rush into things?"

"Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?"

"Didn't it all seem new and exciting."

"I felt your arms twisting around me."

"I should've slept with one eye open at night."

"You and I got lost in it."

"We pretended it could last forever."

"Life was never worse, but never better."

"Too in love to think straight."

"There were strangers watching."

"Whispers turned to talking, and talking turned to screams."

"Didn't you calm my fears with a Cheshire cat smile?"

"It's all fun and games 'til somebody loses their mind."

"I reached for you, but you were gone."

"I knew I had to go back home."

"You searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had."

YOU ARE IN LOVE

"One look, dark room, meant just for you."

"You can hear it in the silence."

"You can feel it on the way home."

"You can see it with the lights out."

"You are in love, true love."

"You keep his/her/their shirt. He/she/they keep(s) his/her/their word."

"For once, you let go of your fears and your ghosts."

"You're my best friend."

"You understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars."

NEW ROMANTICS

"We're all bored."

"We're all so tired of everything."

"Trust me, mine is better."

"We're so young."

"We're on the road to ruin."

"We play dumb but we know exactly what we're doing."

"Life is just a classroom."

"I could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me."

"Every day is like a battle, but every night with us is like a dream."

"Heartbreak is the national anthem. We sing it proudly."

"The best people in life are free."

"I'm about to play my Ace."

"We need love, but all we want is danger."

"We team up, then switch sides like a record changer."

"The rumors are terrible and cruel, but honey, must of them are true."

"Please take my hand, and please take me dancing."

"Please leave me stranded."

"It's so romantic."

"SLUT!"

"Being this young is art."

"What if all I need is you?"

"Got lovestruck, went straight to my head."

"Love to think you'll never forget."

"Lovelorn and nobody knows."

"I'll pay the price, you won't."

"If I'm all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us."

"If they call me a slut, it might be worth it for once."

"If I'm gonna be drunk, I might as well be drunk in love."

"Everyone wants him/her/them, that was my crime."

"The wrong place at the right time."

"In a world of boys, he's a gentleman."

"You're not saying you're in love with me, but you're going to."

"It's a big mistake."

"It might blow up in your pretty face."

"I'm not saying do it anyway. But you're going to."

SAY DON'T GO

"I've known it from the very start."

"We're a shot in the darkest dark."

"The waiting is a sadness."

"I'm standing on a tightrope alone."

"I'm holding out hope for you."

"I would stay forever if you say, 'Don't go'."

"Why'd you have to lead me on?"

"Why'd you have to twist the knife?"

"Now your silence has me screaming."

"You kiss me and it stops time."

"I'm yours, but you're not mine."

"Why'd you have to make me want you?"

"Why'd you have to give me nothing back?"

"Why'd you have to make me love you?"

"I say 'I love you'. You say nothing back."

NOW THAT WE DON'T TALK

"You went to a party. I heard from everybody."

"You part the crowd like the red sea."

"Don't even get me started."

"From the outside it looks like you're trying lives on."

"I miss the old ways."

"You didn't have to change."

"I guess I don't have a say."

"The more I gave, you'd want me less."

"I cannot be your friend."

"I can't pretend it's platonic."

"It's just ended."

"Guess maybe I am better off, now that we don't talk."

SUBURBAN LEGENDS

"You were so magnetic it was almost obnoxious."

"I didn't come here to make friends."

"We were born to be suburban legends."

"When you hold me, it holds me together."

"You kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever."

"I know that you still remember."

"We were born to be national treasures."

"I broke my own heart cause you were too polite to do it."

"You don't knock anymore."

"My whole life's ruined."

IS IT OVER NOW?

"I slept all alone."

"You still wouldn't go."

"Was it over when she laid down on your couch?"

"Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?"

"Was it over then? And is it over now?"

"Your new girl is my clone."

"Did you think I didn't see you?"

"At least I had the decency to keep my nights out of sight."

"I think about jumping off of very tall somethings just to see you come running."

"I was hoping you'd be there."

[not-that-dillinger]

Nevada Road Trip

(* closed starter for @systemadministratorclu *)

How Ed managed to not spoil the surprise, he didn't know. two months of planning a trip for the two of them, for his son's first time on the other side, and Clu was still... well, clueless.

(Son... they've known each other for two months now, and Ed still can't help the dopey grin every time he thinks about it.)

Well, perhaps not quite clueless. Clu had to know something was up when Ed suggested a very specific time and date, ("I found something I think you'll like, but it has to be exactly on this day"), Or certainly by now, when they were both about to leave the Grid, and Ed was practically vibrating with excitement.

The planning, of course, started when Quorra mentioned Clu wanted to see the stars. Which. Was a dilema, because the light pollution in Los Angeles made the night sky quite disappointing. The next best thing that Ed could think of was a visit to the planetarium. He tossed that idea out after a few seconds of contemplation. Ed personally didn't like crowds, and he didn't want to subject Clu to so many humans on his first time off the Grid. Too many random variables to mess things up. And Clu deserved better.

Ed was going to show Clu the stars.

And so Ed researched the best places to go star gazing.... Which lead to him stumbling into a Los Angeles amateur astronomer club forum.... which lead to three things.

First, it lead to the awareness of the Perseid meteor shower, which was going to peak in mid august.

It also led to Ed buying a (admittedly entry-level, but still really nice with several lenses) telescope. If it was partially because he had wanted one as a kid, that part was secondary. He couldn't wait to show it to Clu.

And most importantly, it led to him discovering dark sky sanctuaries.

And particularly the nearest one, which was about a twelve hour drive north of where they lived.

...In the nearly ten years Ed had worked for Encom, he had never used his time off, and so he had ten years' worth of it. He had never had a reason for a vacation, nobody to spend it with, until now. And so Ed all but gleefully informed Mackey that he was going to be taking a week off in August.

During the day, Ed planned the trip, and gathered supplies. A tent, sleeping bags and mats, a camping stove and small cooking set were added to his supplies. He planned stops along the way, and calculated the time they would need to get there just before sunset, leaving enough time for bathroom breaks and lunch.

During the evening, he did his best to prepare Clu to for what things would be like on the other side, showing him memories from his disc, answering questions, and or bringing him books to read and food to try (if Clu is going to spend over a day outside the Grid, Ed was going to make sure he had something to eat that he would actually like).

And he promised he'd stay the night the night before their grand adventure, so Clu wouldn't have to go through the portal alone for the first time.

And so the evening before the trip, Ed packed the telescope under an excessive amount of blankets and pillows, the camping gear, and several days worth of snacks that didn't require refrigeration into the car, then went to go visit Clu.

The morning of, Ed stood with Clu, doing his very best not to act like a little kid bouncing with his excitement, and activated the portal. "How are you feeling?" He asked softly as the column of light ignited a not far from where they stood. "Think you're ready?" As excited as he was to share his world with Clu, he knew Clu was at the very least, nervous, despite his best to reassure him everything would be alright.

Ed offered Clu a hand, a silent reassurance and promise that Ed would be right be right next to his son to help him, no matter what happened.

[ariesmusingz]

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა ╱ saves the world sentence starters pt 1 ( created using lyrics from muna's saves the world album. feel free to adjust to fit your muse. )

i want to grow up

i want to put away my childish things

i think that i'm ready to take this song off repeat

i'm tired of the party games

i'm calling their blugg

they always turn out the same

i want to grow old

i want to lay down

i want to let go

i want to grow

so i heard the bad news

nobody likes me and i'm gonna die alone in my bedroom

looking at strangers on my telephone

wouldn't you like if i believed those words?

if i'm born to lose, i'll never try and i will never learn

i've been looking at myself in the mirror

don't leave me now

oh my god, like i'm your number one fan

so iconic

i would give my life just to hold your hand

i'm your number one fan

here's the bad news

i'm coming for everyone and i'm coming on strong

new hair and new shoes

i get what i like because i do what i want

in the thick of it

will you stick up for me?

are you gonna believe that i can do it?

love me in the way that only you can

by my number one

if i see my old friends, we'll go out dancing

if we go out dancing, then we'll go to the bar

if we go to the bar, then there's gonna be drinking

if i drink, i wanna see where you are

i don't see my old friends

i don't go dancing

i don't do most things i used to do

now that i'm thinking about it i did most things to get to you

no one ever told me leaving was the easy part

i gotta stay away

leaving you was easy

now i gotta do what's hard

stay away

if i go driving, then i'll put on music

ig i put on music, then i'll play your song

if i play your song, then i think i'll lose it

end up pulled up at the front of your lawn

i don't go driving

i just stay in

every moment is a fork in the road

all my roads lead back to you

if i turn off the light, then i might start thinking

if i start thinking, i'll think of the time when you said that you love me

you said i was perfect

you said you were sorry

you said you were selgish

if i don't stop it, before i know it all the bad things never happened

you never lied or treated me bad

if you did then you'll wish you hadn't

start believing you were right and i was too dramatic

i gotta leave the light on for tonight

any little misstep, i'll be at your doorstep

talking about forgiveness, giving you my heart back

just so you can break it one more time

i never thought you knew what love was until i heard you sing a love song

with the way that you treat me i had to reach my own conclusions

i thought your heart was stone

i thought you never let your feelings show

who are you singing about now?

you sounded clear as a crystal

you sounded soft as the rainfall

every note was a lump in my throat

i knew i had to hear it all

it was like a dream to hear such a sweet melody

i knew it was for not me

i need to know who

drove to the mountains in the morning

on the way back down, i thought my breaks would broken and the road would end

i would just keep going through the air and into the pacific ocean

i'm just trying to keep my head above water

get enough sleep and drink enough water

i'm so navy blue

i'm so navy blue over you

took a train to a friend's house

feeling shaken

seems like you somehow turn up when i'm at my weakest

don't know what to say so leave it blank like silence

go back home and wait for some new change that's coming

do you know that i've been holding my breath all of this time?

weren't you going to call me when you got back?

was it all lies?

weren't you going to love me if i just did everything right?

i don't know if i like love

i think i've had enough

seems like it's alright for some

it's just i'm not one

consider this my resignation

please consider this an end

deliver this recitation to the one who did me in

i'll never love again

i don't know if i like songs

i think maybe i was wrong

to think i could make it hurt less with a chorus sing-song

consider this, cause this is it

deliver this last performance to the source from which it stems

are you happy?

[hlficlibrary]

✤ Roommates Fics ✤

A series of posts with the top five fics of each category by kudos plus five more hidden gems from that category! Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find our other recs here.

- Top 5 H/L Fics -

1️⃣ Autumn At My Window by TheCellarDoor / @donotdialnine (M, 20k)

A canon-compliant AU, in which Harry and Louis are both in the band and have been sharing flats and hotel rooms for nearly five years, but never made the leap past 'friends who are too close for comfort'.

Featuring a lot of pining, Louis' addiction to Harry's scent, and a whole lot of sexual tension that might just snap loose when they decide to spend some time together all on their own.

2️⃣ Tainted Saints And Velvet Vices by Toomanytears / @toomanydreamers (E, 126k)

A self-fulfilling Hogwarts AU in which Louis is new to seventh year and Harry is the resident devil-may-care Slytherin set to make his entire experience a living misery. Due to less than favourable circumstances they're forced to forge an unwilling, tentative relationship for their own survival. Repressed emotions, decidedly unromantic ballroom dancing, Triwizard Tournament tasks, creative jinxes and twilight flying above the Forbidden Forest ensue.

A canon-compliant AU, in which Harry and Louis are both in the band and have been sharing flats and hotel rooms for nearly five years, but never made the leap past 'friends who are too close for comfort'.

3️⃣ This Road Leads Where Your Heart Is by @littlelostpieces (E, 14k)

Alright, so Louis has a bit of a type is the thing. And as fit as his supermodel flatmate (Harry) may be, he isn't what Louis is looking for in a potential partner. That’s all. He’s not Louis’ type, with his miles of lanky limbs and his bright, boyish eyes. His impossibly tight, little body and infectious laughter are not what Louis wants. They're not. Really.

4️⃣ Undone, Undress by @angelichl (E, 134k)

Louis' new roommate is shy, skittish, and flinches at the slightest sounds. He's an art major who gets drunk on cherry wine, wears lacy lingerie, and shows up late at night covered in bruises that blossom across his skin like flowers.

Obviously something is wrong. Louis just doesn't know what it is.

5️⃣ Talk Dirty To Me by BriaMaria / @briannamarguerite (E, 13k)

They were both naked. And that seemed, again, like a catastrophically bad idea, but here they were anyway. Naked. In the dark. Only a few feet apart.

It hadn’t even been a discussion. The minute Harry flipped the lights off, they’d both shucked out of their clothes as if they’d been on fire.

“Alright darling,” Louis said, his hand wrapped loosely around his own cock. “Just remember, start slow. Lots of descriptions. Light on the hygiene, heavy on the compliments. You’ve got this.”

As if Harry were about to compete in some kind of athletic game.

Or the one where Harry is absolutely terrible at dirty talk so he asks his best friend to teach him. And the one where Louis knows it's a catastrophically bad idea but agrees anyway.

HIDDEN GEMS:

💎 Set the Sky Alight, Oh Holy Night by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup (T, 33k)

“It’s a starter home,” Niall says. He looks ridiculously proud. Louis does not think he should look that proud.

“That bathtub’s fallen through the ceiling,” Louis points out.

“Starter home,” Niall emphasises.

One house, five almost-strangers (plus Niall), six new beginnings.

Happy Christmas, here's to many more.

💎 baby when you’re gone (i realize i’m in love) by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou (G, 13k)

Harry recently moved to London to study music. He doesn’t know he has a crush on the charismatic fashion student Louis, who just so happens to be his flatmate. Everything is fine until Louis leaves to spend a long weekend with his family.

💎 All I Do the Whole Day Through by @lululawrence (NR, 6k)

Louis reached up and grabbed the ridiculously thick jumper that had the planets all over it and slammed the wardrobe doors shut. It was only as he turned around that he realized why Harry’s bedroom door had been shut.

There was a nest on Harry’s bed.

But why was Harry using Louis’ clothes and items that probably smelled like him in his nest?

💎 Oblivious by grapenight / @louiswolves (G, 2k)

Louis and Harry are roommates, and Louis is instantly attracted to Harry.

💎 It's a match! by @maggieisalarrie (G, 1k)

What if, he thinks, I just swipe right?

And really, what’s the absolute worst that can happen? If he swipes right, they simply won’t match and that’s the only way he could ever see this playing out.

So against his better judgement, he swipes right.

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; 1989 (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift (Part I)

WELCOME TO NEW YORK

The village is aglow.

Everybody here wanted somethin' more.

It's been waitin' for you.

I could dance to this beat forevermore

The lights are so bright, but they never blind me.

Everybody here was someone else before.

You can want who you want.

Like any great love, it keeps you guessing.

Like any real love, it's ever-changing.

Like any true love, it drives you crazy.

But you know you wouldn't change anything.

BLANK SPACE

I could show you incredible things

Magic, madness, heaven, sin

Oh, my God, look at that face.

You look like my next mistake.

Love's a game, wanna play?

I can read you like a magazine

Ain't it funny?

I know you heard about me.

I'm dyin' to see how this one ends.

Grab your passport and my hand.

I can make the bad guys good for a weekend.

So it's gonna be forever, or it's gonna go down in flames?

You can tell me when it's over if the high was worth thе pain.

They'll tеll you I'm insane.

I love the players and you love the game.

We'll take this way too far

I've got a blank space, baby, and I'll write your name.

You're the king, baby, I'm your queen.

Worst is yet to come.

I can make all the tables turn.

Oh, my God, who is she?

I get drunk on jealousy.

You'll come back each time you leave.

Darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream.

Boys only want love if it's torture.

Don't say I didn't warn ya.

STYLE

Could end in burnin' flames or paradise.

It's been a while since I have even heard from you.

I should just tell you to leave.

I know exactly where it leads.

You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye.

I got that red lip classic thing that you like.

When we go crashin' down, we come back every time.

We never go out of style.

I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt.

He can't keep his wild eyes on the road.

I heard that you've been out and about with some other girl.

What you heard is true.

I can't stop thinkin' 'bout you.

I've been there too a few times.

Take me home.

OUT OF THE WOODS

Looking at it now, it all seems so simple.

The rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color.

Are we out of the woods yet?

Are we in the clear yet? 

We were built to fall apart.

Your necklace hanging from my neck.

The night we couldn't quite forget.

We decided to move the furniture so we could dance.

Baby, like we stood a chance.

Remember when you hit the brakes too soon?

When you started crying, baby, I did too.

When the sun came up, I was lookin' at you

Remember when we couldn't take the heat?

I'm settin' you free.

The monsters turned out to be just trees

When the sun came up, you were lookin' at me.

ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS STAY

People like you always want back the love they gave away.

People like me wanna believe you when you say you've changed.

The more I think about it now, the less I know.

All I know is that you drove us off the road.

All you had to do was stay

Why'd you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?

Now you say you want it back?

I don't know what to say.

I've been pickin' up the pieces of the mess you made.

People like you always want back the love they pushed aside.

People like me are gone forever when you say goodbye.

Let me remind you this was what you wanted.

You ended it.

You were all I wanted.

SHAKE IT OFF

I stay out too late.

Got nothin' in my brain.

That's what people say.

I go on too many dates.

The players gonna play.

The haters gonna hate.

I'm just gonna shake off.

I never miss a beat.

I'm lightnin' on my feet.

That's what they don't see.

I'm dancin' on my own.

I make the moves up as I go.

That's what they don't know.

You could've been gettin' down to this sick beat.

My ex-man brought his new girlfriend.

Won't you come on over, baby?

I WISH YOU WOULD

It's in the past.

You're thinkin' that I hate you now 'cause you still don't know what I never said.

I wish you would come back.

Wish I never hung up the phone like I did.

I'll never forget you as long as I live.

Wish you were right here, right now.

We're a crooked love in a straight line down.

Makes you want to run and hide.

It makes you turn right back around.

I wish we could go back.

Remember what we were fightin' for.

I miss you too much to be mad anymore.

You always knew how to push my buttons.

You give me everything and nothin'.

This mad, mad love makes you come runnin'.

BAD BLOOD (+ REMIX)

Now we got bad blood.

You know it used to be mad love.

So take a look what you've done.

Now we got problems and I don't think we can solve them.

You made a really deep cut.

Did you have to do this?

I was thinking that you could be trusted.

Did you have to hit me where I'm weak?

I couldn't breathe.

Salt in the wound like you're laughin' right at me.

It's so sad to think about the good times.

Did you think we'd be fine?

Still got scars on my back from your knife

So don't think it's in the past.

These kinda wounds, they last and they last.

Did you think it all through?

All these things will catch up to you.

Time can heal, but this won't.

So if you're comin' my way, just don't.

Band-aids don't fix bullet holes.

You say sorry just for show.

If you live like that, you live with ghosts .

If you love like that, blood runs cold.

I can't take it back.

I don't hate you, but I hate to critique, overrate you.

These beats of a dark heart, use basslines to replace you.

Take time and erase you.

No, I don't fear no more.

Respect ain't quite sincere no more.

Remember when you tried to write me off?

Remember when you thought I'd take a loss?

You thought that I would need ya.

It was my season for battle wounds, battle scars, body bumped, bruised.

Still, all my life, I got money and power.

You gotta live with the bad blood now.

You forgive, you forget, but you never let it go.

[uselessdevice]

STARTER for THE HORNED ONE // @hvbris

It wasn't the typical funeral home set up at Illinois Donor Services. It was more industrial, a warehouse where bodies were stripped of their most useful assets.

Zachariah could have chosen not to let his hands get dirty anymore, but he'd be so terribly bored. Instead, he spoke with grieving families at his far more welcoming office, assuring them that their loved ones would be under his care and supervision from start to finish. And he meant every word.

From the mortuary table to the incinerator, to the carefully packaged organs, tissue, bone and blood sent all over the country. Across the world, sometimes. He oversaw the process, performed many of the procedures himself. For some very select clients, it was imperitive that he take the lead.

Zachariah closed the doors to the delivery bay, having just handed off a selection of packages for very important clients. Once on the road they'd be swiftly delivered to labs, hospitals, and homes. He didn't particularly care what the uses were. The natural course of things to him was that people were useful after death, that every living creature was. Decay was neccessary. It fed the soil, the plants, every living creature around the dead.

There was nothing more abhorrent to him than the idea of lead lined coffins, the dead trapped and preserved. He was glad he didn't perform embalming procedures these days. It was a waste.

Scrubbing his nails thoroughly before preparing to go home, he'd heard music coming from the mortuary. He'd turned the stereo off. He knew he had. When Zachariah pushed through the doors to investigate, he found a man standing there with an air of casual superiority.

"This area's private." He stated, letting the door fall closed behind him. Staring. The pleasant demeanour he switched on for clients and the general populace was wearing on him after a long day. But if this was a new client, a new opportunity, he was better off being welcoming. Yet cautious. "But if you'd like to make arrangements, sir, I can escort you to the main office."

[artemivsa]

𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐑𝐀 (𝐃𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐘 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒 & 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐗) 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 (𝐩𝐭. 𝟐)

sentence starters taken from the last five tracks of daisy jones and the six’s album AURORA (2023). change pronouns as you see fit. 

track 7: YOU WERE GONE. 

❛ can’t you tell by my face, there are things i try to erase? ❜

❛ i woke up and you sat me down, said “the future’s over now”. ❜

❛ memories are nothing. ❜

❛ there’s no light left to see. ❜

❛ where were you? when i needed you, you were gone. ❜

❛ the hand that pulled me through the center of the night was you. ❜

❛ that’s why i’m floating, why i reach towards the moon. ❜

❛ how about we turn it off? just flip the switch and walk away. ❜

❛ every story has an ending. ❜

❛ just forget it, like it’s gone. ❜

❛ forget about the way you turn me on. ❜

track 8: MORE FUN TO MISS. 

❛ i still need a drink, put all the glasses in the sink. ❜

❛ for the record, i’m fine with what’s left of what’s mine. ❜

❛ i almost took you by mistake for someone else. ❜

❛ you’re just a wild guess in a see-through dress. ❜

❛ it took guts to think that i would buy that wink. ❜

❛ you’ll be more fun to kiss than to be with. ❜

❛ you’ll be more fun to miss than to be with. ❜

❛ i don’t pull tricks. ❜

track 9: PLEASE.

❛ please, i’m down on my knees. ❜

❛ i have a family. ❜

❛ please, it’s an awful disease and it’s getting me. ❜

❛ i need what i can’t unsee to disappear. ❜

❛ c’mon, man, i know what i’m doing here. ❜

❛ please, i’m the worst at this. ❜

❛ i need you to say no, please. ❜

❛ i take it out on myself as a little test. ❜

❛ at least meet me under the table for a kiss. ❜

❛ please, know that i’m better than all of this. ❜

❛ in the valley of death, it’s a little hot. ❜

❛ please, never give me a second chance. ❜

track 10: THE RIVER. 

❛ i could’ve sworn this was the way. ❜

❛ tell me again, why do we stay on such a lonely road? ❜

❛ we’re on the same side and it’s gonna be a lonely road. ❜

❛ will you stay with me forever? ❜

❛ will you chase me in my dreams? ❜

❛ you had a choice i couldn’t make. ❜

❛ this is the last turn that you take on a lonely road. ❜

❛ give me your hand, here is my heart. ❜

❛ where does it end? when do we start? ❜

❛ if i throw it all in the river, and let the rhythm take the lead, will it stay with you whenever that you lean on me? ❜

❛ i’m an echo in your shadow. ❜

❛ i’m in too deep. ❜

❛ your shadows, they run too deep. ❜

❛ your reflection is a promise you couldn’t keep. ❜

❛ i know i lost you there. ❜

❛ i love you now. ❜

track 11: NO WORDS. 

❛ there ain’t no words for the song i’m trying to write. ❜

❛ everything i’ve tried so far doesn’t feel right. ❜

❛ there ain’t no words for the song i’m trying to play. ❜

❛ i just don’t know the words for what i’m trying to say. ❜

❛ all i could do is hope that you don’t take it the wrong way. ❜

❛ all i can do is say: don’t take it the wrong way. ❜

❛ there ain’t no words for the song i’m here to sing. ❜

❛ i just don’t know the words, babe, to tell you what i mean. ❜

❛ i’m at the end of my mind trying to do the right thing. ❜

❛ there ain’t no words for what i’m trying to say. ❜

[guscaldwcll]

who: GUS & OPEN.

where: Get Clean Coin Wash & Dry Cleaners.

when: mid-afternoon in late January.

Gus sat quietly in a corner, watching the other people go about their day. The steady thrum of washing machines and the relaxing hum of the dryers drowned out the outside noise. If it wasn't for his washer machine breaking down, Gus wouldn't have needed to step foot in the laundry mat. But as his luck usually showed these days, the old machine just couldn't take another wash. Gus had been sitting here for almost a half an hour or so before something caught his attention. Moving to get up from the chair he was sitting in, he picked up a few articles of clothing off the ground before finding the person that he believed the items belonged to. "Excuse me, but I believe these are yours." Gus grinned, handing out the garments back to their assumed rightful owner. "Wouldn't want your items to get lost."

[a-bit-too-much-of-a-pokemon-fan]

Oops, forgot to post my early review of Violet

I found this just chilling in the drafts of my main blog, so I'm gonna post my initial review of Pokémon Violet here, then follow up on it with thoughts now that I'm on my seventh playthrough (sixth Nuzlocke, third Hardcore Nuzlocke).

When I was in the midst of catching Pokémon and progressing the story of Violet, it hit me that I was having some of the most fun I’ve ever had playing Pokémon. The fact that the game runs so abysmally is all the more tragic because other than that, I’m tempted to say this is one of the best games in the franchise. I grew up on Platinum, and White/White 2 are my overall favorites, but Violet is creeping real close. Performance aside, I think the biggest weakness is one that most open world games suffer from—a fragmented story. It’s eerily similar to Breath of the Wild in that sense. The story that’s there is really good, but the world design leads to a loose execution. Compared to Skyward Sword and Pokémon Gen 5, which are suffocatingly linear but deliver a tightly executed story that hits all the right beats at all the right points.

That’s the crazy thing about Violet, too. The story isn’t just good because of the characterizations and themes. The dialogue is just straight up good. It feels like you’re talking to real people and not video game npcs, or at least the most like it we’ve gotten in Pokémon. The localization was clearly done by people who are young and/or in touch. There are so many little gems. A gym leader who is a streamer and tells her audience to smash the subscribe button? The earnest but out of touch school headmaster asking you what “cheugy” means? It’s so good.

I’m surprised with how well the three-prong story fits and comes all together in the end. The gym challenge in your standard Pokémon romp and is fun but honestly the least interesting of the three. Arven and Team Star’s stories are genuinely well-written and touching. They both start kind of weird and forced, but they grew on me really fast.

Alright, and the music is fucking fantastic. Pokémon has always had great music. That’s probably the coldest take in this post. But there are some serious hits in this score. The East Province themes, Team Star themes, and very spoiler-heavy, late-game songs are so, so good. They made a great choice bringing Toby Fox in for more tracks.

In terms of the game design though, I’m a huge fan. Terastylizing is probably the most interesting battle gimmick since double battles introduced in Gen 3. The regional Pokédex is a nice balance of mons from every generation and sits at a very respectable number of 400 Pokémon. I just caught myself a whole living dex up thru Gen 6, so for this playthrough I chose to only use new (Gen 8 and 9) Pokémon. Still, I came into it knowing I wanted to catch every mon I can. I was struck by just how much encounter variety there is. On a second playthrough where I allow mons from Gen 7 and earlier, I can see myself using a completely different team.

Ah, my team. My companions for this adventures were as follows: Zaza the Meowscarada, Li’l Buddy the Pawmot, Blaze the Ceruledge, False Knees the Corviknight, Honey Bun the Dachsbun, Connie the Frosmoth, and the late substitution for False Knees to cover my crippling weakness to fire-types: Norm the Veluza. I can and will go in depth into this team and what I love about it, but suffice it to say that Weed Cat was a great starter.

I do think I’ll need a second playthrough a while down the road before I can say if I love this game, but it’s easily one of my favorites in the series. Again, that’s why it’s poor performance sucks so much. I really, really like Violet, but it can be miserable to play sometimes. I know it can be so much better then it is. So let’s get to the elephant in the room.

Gamefreak needs to slow down. From what I saw of Sword and Shield (I skipped these ones), there are points where you can tell corners had to be cut. The problem became obvious with Legends Arceus. I love the gameplay, music, art direction, and all the little experiments the designers took, but holy Arceus above, the game looks like ass. If the devs were given more time, it could have looked so much better. And now we’re here with Scarlet and Violet. The art direction is strong but it’s obvious in one look that the devs were rushed. The only parts of the game that don’t consistently drop frames are the Tera raid battles. I’m sure there are countless people listing every performance issue, so I’ll stop there.

The devs need more time to put out their best work, and the Gamefreak and Pokémon Company execs know that. But. Their main audience is children. As a former child myself, I know that children have no taste or sense of quality. Unless the game is literally unplayable and crashes every other minute, kids will not notice the myriad performance issues. So they will continue to ask their parents to buy them the games, and the games will continue being purchased. The share of Pokémon fans who are A) adults, and B) concerned with the state of the games and franchise, is tiny compared to the primary audience. So unless the next game is so rushed that it actually sells as terribly as it runs, things will never change.

So,,, yeah. I give it a 6/10. Fix the performance and I’d give it a 9.5/10. Good game. They gave me a weed cat.

~~~~~~

Alright, that was the review I wrote on December 31st, six days after I got the game. I had just finished my vanilla playthrough of the game. I'm even more conflicted on the score now than I was before. I think I'll itemize it then revisit the overall score.

Music: Easy 10/10. Banger after banger here. Battle themes, boss themes, town themes, area themes, oh man. Almost everything is great. There are some tracks I aren't the biggest fan of, namely the West Province theme and variants. But the sheer quantity of songs I like, and the phenomenal use of adaptive music makes up for it.

Story: 8/10. Easily the strongest story of the series in terms of writing quality and dialogue. I don't have much more to say than what I wrote in December. It loses points on having that weaker execution than Black and White, and if I'm being honest, it still doesn't compare to the better-written non-Pokémon games I've played. Halo 4 or Undertale, anyone?

Trainer/Boss Battles: 7/10. Where are the healing items? Where are the switch-ins? Random trainer battles aren't always easy, granted. The trainers with black dialogue boxes (the strongest trainer of each area) are no joke, especially in Nuzlockes. Boss battles though. Thematically, always reserving their ace for last then Terastallizing works very well. It makes the battles much more predictable. I can definitely feel the lack of healing items, which reduces the amount of strategizing needed. I also dock points for removing set mode. That was legitimately the only form of a difficulty option in this game and they turned it into another input and a time loss every time you KO an opponent's Pokémon. It's especially frustrating when I return to Violet after playing earlier games that have the option. Overall enjoyable though.

Wild Pokémon Battles: 10/10. Phenomenal. Perfect, even. Continuing the mapping of Pokéballs to the X button instead of needing to go into the bag is perfect. Makes catching smoother. Pokéball animations are much faster. Roaming encounters are such a welcome change from random encounters. The only problem with them is that they complicate Nuzlockes, but that's really not the designers' fault.

Accessibility: 1/10. Abysmal. Disclaimer that I almost never use any accessibility options in games because I don't need them. But there's no options for disabling or toning down animations. No button remapping. No color blindness options. No text options beside changing the speed. Forgive me if I forgot some. Again, I don't use them so I don't usually think consciously about it. Besides, GameFreak forgot all of them. I give one point because falling of cliffs is made harder by a buffer, and you can warp back up if you do fall. Nintendo-published games need to have more accessibility options and I can't believe they keep getting away with their absence of options.

Presentation: 4/10. Oh, this is rough. Character and Pokémon models are fantastic, manmade structures are great, but almost everything natural looks terrible. I don't see any anti-aliasing. It's terribly optimized. Performance issues abound. And what's with the pace of battles? The higher ups needed to let the devs and QA teams cook. Damn.

Overall: ... 8/10. In some ways, ScarVio knocks it out of the park. In others, it falls flat on its face. But the most important part to me personally is whether the game is fun. And I stand by my previous take. It's some of the most fun I've had in Pokémon game. If my seven playthroughs (four complete, two Nuzlocke wipes, one in progress) are any indication, I like this game quite a lot.

[xxlucyxlolaxx]

Scattered thoughts!!

Okay, here's some ideas I have...@lilc77

The Princess is sick, he found her alone in the middle of dirt path. The moment she gets better slightly, her fever returns and she is bedbound again.

Cannot remember what happened to her and how she ended up unconscious and alone.

So based on that dream I could do something like umm maybe she can barely walk so he carries her a bit and travel the road to find the closest doctor who might help so there could be a scene with him holding her in his arms near the fire....maybe because the weather is slightly chilly. But he could learn that she was cursed by something unknown because of the fact she was destined for something never seen before. A daughter who is a Nephalem who would be the wife of the king "Sebastian." A great union and combined powers they are afraid of, so they want to kill her before this happens.

To explain why Chizuru was not hunted down for the fact that she is the mother of the king is because as I mentioned in Hijichi story. Sebastian's Prophecy is unclear and they aren't sure when or how or who?

Or maybe I ditch this plotline entirely and start over with something else.

Maybe he was returning home in the road and then by chance he stumbles upon her traveling as well.

He learns from her that the Village of Yase isn't doing too well and they are in the process of moving to another place and build all over again. So he offers her to come with him to his village, stay there for a few days until things work well. She can bring her people with her. It might be possible to make some space for them to live temporarily in the Kazama village.

So she agrees and goes with him, but Sen has been tormented by a dream she couldn't understand, (Haven't yet thought about what the dream could be, but it supposed to foreshadow her future with Kazama and their daughter who will held some of the angel powers.) Maybe I could try to write interactions between the two near the pond where in the future Kondo would meet Sara.

What do you think the conversation starters could be about?

I have a slight something from an old draft,,,that could be something.

....

"So you finally stopped chasing Chizuru and Hijikata  for your so called pride and bloodline?”

She could see very clearly her question made him tense. His body stiffened slightly before he avoided her eyes. “ There comes a time, when you realize your actions are wrong.” He whispered. “ You have no choice but to accept it and learn to move on.”

....

Then someday Sen sees a box left in her room, thinking maybe it was one of her people who brought some of her luggage there but the moment she opens it, it turns out to be poison and she falls ill.

So this could lead to the dream with him holding her next to the fire while he hears the words of someone saying. "That woman is cursed."

And so use the lore I said in that other plot, the destiny for her to birth a girl who would be a Nephalem and the wife of the king....et-cetera.

......

That's all I have, for now. @lilc77

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 20/01/2024 (Ariana Grande, 21 Savage's american dream, D-Block Europe)

The story of this week is… well, there are a lot of stories, and the moral of nearly all of them is: don’t get your hopes up. Noah Kahan’s “Stick Season” has halted a certain someone off the top spot, and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we swiftly ignore you-know who and instead spend a little time on the notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75, which is what I cover (read the FAQ), after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. As one would expect, there’s quite a lot of movement this week so we do have a hefty list, bidding farewell to… “Just Another Rainbow” by Liam Gallagher and John Squire after just one week at #16, “Entrapreneur” by Central Cee, “You’re Losing Me” (From the Vault) by Taylor Swift getting three-song-ruled out and exchanged for another Taylor song, and then “Standing Next to You” by Jung Kook, “Murdaside” by Mazza_l20 and friends, “First Person Shooter” by Drake featuring J. Cole, “adore u” by Fred again.. and Obongjayar, “Daylight” by David Kushner, “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus and the Selena Gomez-assisted “Calm Down” by Rema. Yeah, some massive losses this week, it really is ushering in the 2024 hit parade this quickly

As for our notable gains, well, we see a return for “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift at #69 due to the swap I talked about earlier - it really isn’t a good trade-off in my opinion. Aside from that, there are boosts for “Black Friday” by Tom Odell at #31 which I can’t complain about, and same goes for “Never Lose Me” by Flo Milli at #24. I will complain about “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield at #18, but that brings us neatly to our top five, where we have Teddy Swims fly in at #5 with “Lose Control”, followed by familiar faces, “Lovin’ on Me” by Jack Harlow at #4 and “Murder on the Dancefloor” by Sophie Ellis-Bextor at #3, and then, despite multiple versions and a music video, Noah Kahan fended off Ariana Grande’s comeback single “yes, and?”, stalling out narrowly at #2. It’s fully the season of the sticks, and also the season of 11 Goddamn song reviews, some of which were expected and don’t give me much to say, or much that I want to say, and some that just came out of thin air. I guess let’s just get this party started.

New Entries

#73 - “Scared to Start” - Michael Marcagi

Produced by David Baron

This episode is brought to you by our sponsor, Who the Hell is This Guy? So, Mr. Marcagi started out as the lead singer for non-starter indie rock band The Heavy Hours, before the release of two very recent and very obviously trend-chasing solo singer-songwriter singles. This is the second of them, and seems to have been his breakout and yeah, I suppose we have Noah Kahan at home. The song is overall about a youthful relationship that gets them into undetailed recklessness and escapism, particularly getting away from a small boring town into being on-the-road nomads, without much care for where the future actually takes them. I like the heartland rock pianos and the tried-and-true drop into half-time for the second chorus, though by the time he does it again in the final chorus, I mostly wish he just picked up the pace as the momentum needs to accelerate from there if it’s such a carpe diem track, it feels like a missed opportunity to really go hard at the final hustle, like Kahan would do. As a whole, it’s really not that difficult to see why this is here or even why people could love it, but I feel like it needed more refining to truly make it worthwhile.

#63 - “Praise Jah in the Moonlight” - YG Marley

Produced by Lauryn Hill, YG Marley and JohnnyG

When I say everything will chart in January, I mean everything. This is one of Bob Marley’s many grandchildren, and yes, that is the Lauryn Hill you’re thinking of. She married into the Marleys, this is her son, she co-produced and co-wrote the song, which additionally samples the original Marley’s “Crisis”, a 1978 track with the Wailers, an uplifiting song about living it up through crisis, staying aware of tragedy but taking time to yourself to allow for fun to be had, peace to be found. I like the song a lot, but it was an album track and hence never charted until it was sampled on this newer song from late last year, which - this is not the first time this week we’ll see this either - turns the otherwise conscious track into a love ballad, but sonically, it’s incredibly faithful, even down to the liquidy reggae groove and charming background singers. Sadly, YG does not have the presence of his grandfather, sounding mostly like a nervous, Auto-Tuned child stumbling onto the school talent show, but that’s also partly due to the mix crushing his nasal croon a bit, it feels smashed in between different elements of the mix instead of resting carefreely in it like Bob would. I do actually appreciate the shift in content for the second verse, which I can only assume was written by Ms. Lauryn Hill considering its cynical, conscious stabs at soul-taking and standing your ground. In fact, I actually like this song quite a lot - whilst it starts off as a love ballad, it ends up using more of an appreciative worship angle that fits much better with the lax, improvisational performance, especially once Lauryn comes in for the outro, it’s just nice to hear her singing again, to be honest. The guitars are also surprisingly sludgy by the end, it feels, fitting the mix’s general vibe, which makes it feel a tad sinister or at least defiant, which makes the sample flip - or really, recreation - a lot more sensible. So, yeah, I think this turns around to actually being quite good, if not great? I guess you can’t go wrong when you just plod in that classic Bob Marley tune as a loop for so long and get Lauryn Hill to do backup, I mean, it really does not seem like you can go wrong placing those two together on a track, albeit posthumously. I know it’s never coming but part of me wants to at least hope this may mean we get, if not a solo album, a wider array of collaborations from Lauryn Hill in the future.

#61 - “No Man’s Land” - Marshmello and venbee

Produced by Marshmello, Digital Farm Animals and Earwulf

To be completely honest, I thought Marshmello’s time in the Sun was over. He’s been latching onto Fuerza Regida and Latin music overall Stateside, so I figured his hit-making days could be far behind him, yet here he is without a reggaetónero or corrida band, and instead venbee, who has yet to really replicate the success of “messy in heaven”, but maybe this will be a winning combination and not another desperate last-minute attempt by Marshmello to find a final niche before the spark dies completely. Surely by now, you know where this is going. Mr. Mello even got Digital Farm Animals to co-write and produce so there really is a distant scent of imminent failure written into this one. That’s not to say the song isn’t good because, well, despite all my cynicism, it’s a damn good track, I actually really love this one. It has all the 2018 plastic tropical flavour but due to going for a faster-paced drum and bass rolick and surprisingly compressed and gross-sounding mix on venbee’s vocals, it doesn’t have any of the effortless sheen and instead sounds a bit rough around the edges, with even the little intricate details in that second verse sounding a bit out of place. That lines up pretty perfectly with venbee’s self-loathing that she feels has buried her into an isolation that she can’t really handle considering how much she hates that cycle. Now I don’t think this’ll be a hit: it sounds like something that could be a sleeper success, but by the time it would get much traction, the song is rather too depressive to be dropped into a Summer EDM mix, and honestly, we have no track record for venbee in terms of any consistent success, and it’s not like Marshmello is a pull anymore. So whilst I actually think this is brilliant, I would have to say to Marshmello: Maybe don’t get your hopes up.

#59 - “J CHRIST” - Lil Nas X

Produced by Omer Fedi, Gesaffelstein and Lil Nas X

“The biggest comeback” since Jesus and he couldn’t even break top 50? In this chart climate? In this economy? I did see a lot of social media disillusionment with Lil Nas’ religious angle, none of which I agreed with because really, it’s only his second time doing so and who decided that artists suddenly couldn’t use themes in their music? Yet that may explain the lack of success out of the gate for… “J CHRIST” - God, what a terrible song title - and I can’t say it’s unfortunate, this song is terrible, and not in an honest-sounding way either. LNX has never sounded more bored and typical, going for a vocal take that doesn’t even fully sound like him, as if he was pitched up in post, and the lyrics seem absolutely unfinished if not unchanged from a mumbling reference track. Even the catchy hook is pretty gimmicky with the “high note”, and the second verse just repeats itself sloppily over this piano-based trap beat, that doesn’t really go anywhere at all. In fact, if left on its own, one could consider this a bit of a feat: gawk in awe at Lil Nas X trying and failing to inject life into an amateur YouTube remake of “HUMBLE.” made by a guy with 12 subscribers! Yet due to the promising, alien outro from Gesaffelstein, we know that more effort could have been put into this to make it much more unique and refreshing, and his springy synth bounce lingers throughout the rest of the track, especially that pre-chorus, as a tease for something to come, which would be promising if that “something to come” wasn’t the absolute lowest barrier of entry for decent music: being interesting. Again, don’t get your hopes up.

#46 - “Alibi” - Ella Henderson featuring Rudimental

Produced by Aidan Glover, Cliff Masterson, Rudimental and Punctual

It is with the deepest of sighs that I say the late Coolio’s iconic Dangerous Minds soundtrack cut “Gangsta’s Paradise”, that has long outlasted its film companion, debuted at #1 upon release in 1995 and stayed there for two weeks total, and has returned intermittently to the UK Singles Chart since 2009 due to just how great of a song it is, a timeless Stevie Wonder flip with L.V. on the chorus and some of the most harrowing yet accessible conscious verses that have ever appeared on a chart hit. Ella Henderson, we are not doing this. Why Rudimental decided to credit themselves onto this… thing they barely produced is beyond me, because this is a worthless parody of the original, a dead-on-arrival concept with little respect for its source material… but that makes it sound cool, doesn’t it? It makes it sound risky, like it’s trying new things, when in reality, that’s far from the case. Ms. Henderson copies inflections and melodies directly from L.V., who already took them from Stevie, and replaces the lyrics with meaningless relationship platitudes. The beat is stock drum and bass, the main lead sample is from the most famous and memed part of the song. This kind of song makes me question whether I can even consider it art at all because what human aspect could have possibly been involved in this? Ella’s singing, sure, but not only are the vocals touched-up in post, it’s not like she or her choir care all too much about emoting these lyrics, and they really shouldn’t. Sure, a human - or several, according to the credits - programmed this song, but would you really be surprised if it was done algorithmically based on a TikTok search of the original song? I love sampling, it’s possibly the most interesting thing about popular music past the 1990s, but some reinventions are little more than fleeting insults at artists not alive to repel them. The man rejected Weird Al’s parody and even after he’d lightened up about that, I have serious doubt he would sign off on this garbage. May he rest in peace - I personally really love his other single “Fantastic Voyage”, maybe even more than “Gangsta’s Paradise”, and I’ll always remember his voice performance as the Kwanzaabot in Futurama. This? I’m trying not to remember it. Hopefully the UK can realise this for its cheap distasteful novelty and leave it  buried in the dregs of Spotify where it belongs.

#42 - “Heather on the Hill” - Nathan Evans

Produced by Alan Jukes and Stevie Jukes

I’m… genuinely surprised Nathan Evans is still popping up, especially with a song like this. The title may be referring to the song of the same name in the 1947 musical Brigadoon, set in the Scottish Highlands, perhaps most well known in its version by Grace Kelly. Now that is a beautiful composition with a surprisingly frail performance in the verses that really gives a lot of lackadaisical charm to the track, even if I’ve never even heard of the musical before. This track by everyone’s favourite sea-shantier has nothing to do with that song. The traditional Scottish folk strings may interpolate the original slightly but this is a pop song through and through, with Lewis Capaldi-esque vocal and guitar production, it’s all compressed and staccato and aimless but at least you can tell Evans is Scottish given all the references which would seem tacky if there weren’t just so many of them, and Hell, I’m not Scottish, I can’t judge how a Scotsman expresses his Scottishness. There is a great dramatic charm in the absolute joyfulness this seems to at least want to display, especially with the Scottish folk chaos in the back of the mix and Evans just giving it all he can. In fact, I kind of love this: it’s an adorable love song that ends very abruptly for no good reason, is littered with little Scottish lyrical details, and whilst it doesn’t hit the same as the song from the musical, it’s going for an entirely different vibe: one of folkish lovestruckness and awe, admiration. This feels like a first crush, if my first crush was from Orkney. She wasn’t, of course, but I can dream; both songs I discovered from this entry I appreciate in largely different ways but are pretty admirable all the same.

#27 - “n.h.i.e.” - 21 Savage and Doja Cat

Produced by Kurtis McKenzie, Scribz Riley, Jonah and Nineteen85

Okay, so 21 Savage released a new album, american dream, last Friday, and it debuts at #2 on the UK albums chart, with three new songs debuting here because the entire album was new material, and quite frankly, next to none of it fit the concept of the album, and that includes pretty much everything we have here. It’s really frustrating when ambition, especially conceptual ambition, seems to be promised and whilst the product itself is completely fine, serviceable and in the case of this 21 album, frankly quite good, it does not abide by the ideas that were presented in, say, the introduction, the soundtrack connection, how 21’s mother appears on both the opener and closer to speak frankly about her experiences and how they relate to her son’s, especially in regards to travelling from London to the US. Given that 21’s finally gained US residency and this seemed like his way of commemorating his escape from the confusing citizenship debacle, wherein he can be proud of both his British and American heritage, I was quite disappointed when it was 90% a typical rap album with soul samples, trap beats, flexing on haters, having sex with women, killing people in comical detail and even having a second half largely consisting of R&B just for the ladies, I suppose. With all that, like I said, I enjoyed the album! 21 is a lyrically and vocally quite fun presence nowadays, and the production was incredibly cohesive in its sound despite trying out some different rhythms and vibes throughout. It is, by all means, a good 21 Savage album, but if you’re hoping for more than that, again, don’t get your hopes up. As for the tracks that debuted, they are by far the least interesting and actually some of my least favourites. This one has an eerie guitar lick but also Doja Cat all over the track just whispering and distractingly so, with 21 kind of on autopilot, even if his short verse is pretty good. Doja is doing the whole quirked-up not-a-rapper schtick with the “ad-lib!” ad-lib and basic flow accentuated by again, those multi-tracked whispers and outright refusal to write a verse of considerable length. It’s just lazy on mostly her part but pretty much everyone else as well, there’s little to care for here.

#23 - “née-nah” - 21 Savage, Travis Scott and Metro Boomin

Produced by Metro Boomin

Why is the song called that? Anyway, this is my least favourite track easily. You have a straight minute of Travis wasting my time - without the Auto-Tune, without the spacey production, without the atmospheric concepts and ambition, who even IS this guy, really, other than an unconvincing cornball who never decides on a solid flow and fills up time with ad-libs, including some weird Westside Gunn riffing this time around? Also, considering how much time he’s spent with Kanye, I’m getting slightly worried to who this villainous “they” he’s referring to in this verse all the time might actually be, he’s been oddly defensive and conspiratory since UTOPIA at least. This is a completely serviceable Metro beat, though it actually gets kind of hard on the ears midway through due to that shrill sample that doesn’t really have much to blend with when the chopped, vintage sample isn’t present. It’s a shame that the rest of the track is pretty much garbage because 21 delivers some of his most violently funny and out-of-pocket verses on this whole album, with a cold-as-Hell chorus and lines about Virgil Abloh and Usher that hit pretty hard as punchlines. Again, a shame it’s all placed here on what was for everyone else, a throwaway track.

#19 - “Eagle” - D-Block Europe and Noizy

Produced by Da Beatfreakz

DBE sold like 10 million USB sticks or something, their album is #1 yet here’s their sole track in the top 75. Now this is the kind of so-bad-it’s-enjoyable DBE I like to hear, with Beatfreakz on production, an unusually long, minimal intro, an array of deranged ad-libs, terrible Auto-Tune, Young Adz stammering helplessly and not understanding how disparate some of the consecutive lyrics are from each other. He barely sticks to a coherent flow and starts the chorus with declaring that he thinks he’s Albanian, but he doesn’t enunciate so it sounds like he just calls himself the country of Albania. We even have Dirtbike Lb going for a verse that completely washes whatever Youthful Advertisement was doing, he actually kind of kills his verse, it’s impressive. The flow switch is much clearer and well-done than whatever Adz tries his hand at, his slurring and naturally slow, droning delivery is used to its best extent here. Oh, and like half the song belongs to this one extended verse from an actual Albanian rapper, Noizy, who goes in… I think? He says near the end, “I’m Albanian, you’re not supposed to like me” and I really don’t know what to make of that, or this song in general, it’s kind of a fascinating mess with some genuine flow highlights but mostly just bizarre choices. In that regard, classic DBE.

#11 - “redrum” - 21 Savage

Produced by London on da Track and Peeb

My favourite track from this album is “see the real”, a sassy, witty and dismissive hyphy-esque bop that inflects a lot of melody into 21’s sound but not enough to dissuade you from his cold demeanour. Some of my other favourite tracks include the sincere PSA “dark days”, the needlessly catchy R&B track “should’ve wore a bonnet” and yeah, “redrum” has none of what I just described. It’s pure violence, it got the music video set in London, so here it is, with its Italian classical music sample in the intro that just eventually forms into a menacing, unchanging loop. It sounds great, but with the caveat that it also just sounds like that the whole time. If 21 weren’t generally an incredibly compelling and more importantly convincing presence as a killer on the mic, this would be a pretty unimpressive beat, so it really shows how much better an instrumental can sound when the right pocket’s found, and for 21, who is on his A-game punchline and ad-lib wise on this track, it seems almost effortless. I’ve obviously not got much else to say about this song or the album as a whole, but I do think it’s a shame that its most unique and enlightening moments didn’t make their way to the charts, or that they were so few and far between to begin with. Hey, at least we didn’t get any shreds of that terrible Kid Cudi project, right? Sheesh.

#2 - “yes, and?” - Ariana Grande

Produced by Ariana Grande, Max Martin and ILYA

It’s fine. I know it’s the big story of the week but there’s nothing too celebratory, triumphant, badass or even interesting about this comeback single from Ariana, that clearly goes for an attitude it couldn’t fully commit to, given the cheaper-than-usual sounding vocaloid chop behind the diva house pianos and a cooing that sems to miss the point of its own genre. Lyrically, it’s self-motivation but I mean, we have “BREAK MY SOUL”, and the genuinely experimental and explorative RENAISSANCE from just two years ago, we really don’t need a lacklustre Ariana Grande rendition of this genre, especially when she’s completely phoning it in. She’s not someone who’s meant to chant mantras, that’s not the kind of loose, parading singer she is, it’s why she never worked on trap beats. The spoken word bridge is pitched-up - because sure, Ariana needs pitching up of all singers - and practically egregious: going for the censor during the Ethan Slater-related line is exactly the “serve” it was intended to be, given that it’s the one time the song actually feels like it exists, but it also just drills this hole further that Ari cannot sell this at all, and should absolutely not be trying to when the audience, even if invested in the “I’m fucking the SpongeBob guy” drama, cannot find themselves motivated by because, well, last time I checked, the only other person fucking the SpongeBob guy was the mother of his child. If someone can point me to the passion and empowerment in this song and its seven other versions instead of a lingering tinge of desperate acting-out, please do, because every listen just leaves an even sourer note in my mouth. Ugh, let’s move on.

Conclusion

I actually did not dislike “yes, and?” before writing this episode, but several listens and caring to look at the lyrics more have really prevented me from enjoying it the way I wanted to so, yes, it will get the Dishonourable Mention, with the Worst of the Week being so obvious I really don’t have to say it, do I? Best of the Week goes to Marshmello and venbee for “No Man’s Land” with an Honourable Mention to Nathan Evans of all people with “Heather on the Hill” and I suppose that’s it. It was a bit of a long ordeal this week, but thank you for reading, see you… a bit earlier than next Friday, I think, but still, next week.

[fullstcp]

"Saves The World" by MUNA Sentence Starters

GROW

"I want to grow up."

"I want to put away my childish things."

"I think I'm ready to take this song off repeat."

"I want to grow up. I want to grow old."

"I want to lay down."

"I want to let go."

"I want to grow."

NUMBER ONE FAN

"So I heard the bad news."

"Nobody likes me and I'm gonna die alone."

"Wouldn't you like it if I believed those words?"

"I'll never try and I will never learn."

"Don't leave me now."

"Oh my God, like, I'm your number one fan."

"I would give my life just to hold your hand."

"I'm coming for everyone and I'm coming on strong."

"I get what I like because I do what I want."

"In the thick of it will you stick up for me?"

"Are you gonna believe that I can do it?"

"Love me in the way that only you can."

"Be my number one."

STAYAWAY

"If I see my old friends, we'll go out dancing. If we go out dancing, then we'll go to the bar. If we go to the bar, then there's gonna be drinking. If I drink, I wanna see where you are."

"I don't see my old friends."

"I don't go dancing."

"I don't do most things I used to do."

"Now that I think about it, I did most things to get to you."

"No one ever told me leaving was the easy part."

"Every moment is a fork in the road and all my roads lead back to you."

"You said that you love me, you said I was perfect."

WHO

"I never thought you knew what love was."

"I had to reach my own conclusions."

"I thought your heart was stone."

"I thought you never let your feelings show."

NAVY BLUE

"I'm just trying to keep my head above water."

"Seems like you somehow turn up when I'm at my weakest."

"Do you know that I've been holding my breath all of this time?"

"Weren't you gonna call me when you got back?"

"Was it all lies?"

"Weren't you gonna love me if I just did everything right?"

NEVER

"I don't know if I like love, I think I've had enough."

"Consider this my resignation, please consider this an end."

"I'll never love again."

PINK LIGHT

"Are you happy?"

"So I let it happen again."

"I don't like when dreaming ends."

"I'm living inside my mind."

"I keep retracing that storyline."

"If I start again I can change the way it ends."

TAKEN

"I know that I make you nervous."

"I do it half on purpose."

"You know I think you're precious."

"I think you're a good person."

"So why do I wanna blow up your life?"

"I won't even think about it."

"I'm just feeling like I can't help it."

"I just want it if it's taken."

"Some things have a way of sticking."

"Why did I have to blow up your life?"

"Now I'm alone and I'm hurt."

"I wish I'd taken you at your word when you said you were taken."

HANDS OFF

"It's been some time since I've seen you last."

"I know you're bad for me."

"Wait, why would I do that?"

"Get your hands off of me."

"I feel like I've been here before."

"You think I'm playing hard to get."

GOOD NEWS (YA-YA SONG)

"I had a minor major crisis when you stopped calling me."

"I saw a psychic healer."

"I'm gonna figure it out."

"I'm already here, and I won't leave now."

"Be where you are."

MEMENTO

"I'm glad it left a mark."

"This is what you get when you're reckless and you're playing in the dark."

IT'S GONNA BE OKAY, BABY

"You're gonna call your mom."

"It's gonna be okay."

"You're gonna cut off your hair."

"Guess you're running away from the patterns you have and the decisions that you've made."

"You're gonna lose those friends."

"You're gonna fall in love."