#stem bokuto is canon to me

[osamusbigtits]

stem boyfriend bokuto and humanities boyfriend akaashi

[icedhoneyy]

I'm very much on the ADHD!bokuto agenda 🧡

OMG YES!!! Welcome to the ADHD!Bokuto Club, we got snacks and everything 😌😋🧡!!!

Everything about his character (and dare I say his dynamic with the Fukurodani team, especially Akaashi) just screams ADHD to me lol but there's some very specific moments that make it nearly canon to me (his speech to Tsuki about why volleyball is fun? boy is just describing his lifelong hyperfixation lmao)

I guess that's why, personality it makes me SO ANNOYED when people write him off as dumb and/or a helpless airhead.

Like yeah, he's a impulsive at times and his problem-solving can be a little unorthodox (i.e. his chest recieved lmao my boy really did that not once but twice?!?! wild) but the way I see it, he can manage just fine on his own, thank u very much 🙄🙄🙄The fact his friends, especially Akaashi, are always around is more due to the fact that Bokuto is such lovable & safe person tbh

And for most of canon material, he's a teenager boy (with ADHD) he is BOUND to make some dumb stuff from time to time. You know, just for shit & giggles 😅

But he is also such and emotional guy and lets be honest, he loves the attention, so I think part of the whole "the team babysitting the captain" thing he has with Fukurodani stems more from that than from him being a helpless baby. For me this is even more evident when you remove him from Fukurodani and put him with other characters, like Kuroo and Hinata. (I could go on for days about besties Bokuroo for days, so I'll leave at that lol)

Frankly the "Bokuto is dumb so Akaashi HAS to take care of him or he'll die" trope is equally dismissive of Keiji's character too tbh but thats a whole different rant

[sunarintoes]

Their Toxic Traits Part II

Part one can be found here

tw: manipulation, cheating, reddit incels, coercion in Terushima’s, all round toxicity

Ushijima → you don't even know that you're dating. He came up to you and said “you're not as annoying as the rest, I'm glad you came to Shiratorizawa” and then walked off. To him that was a confession of love and meant that the two of you were dating. It wasn't until he became really possessive over you when you spoke to other guys did you finally figure out why. When you guys actually date he still remains possessive and talks down to you if you speak to any other guy.

Tendou → jealous, like really jealous. It stems from insecurity because he's so scared that you'll leave him. So to prevent that he hovers over you all the time and refuses to let you have male/guy friends cause he perceives them as a threat :/

Semi → purposefully causes arguments so he can feel emotional and write a song about it. You're his dirty little secret, the world doesn't know about you and he wants to keep it that way. After his concerts he always has a one night stand but his reasoning is that you shouldn’t care cause you’re the only one he’ll fuck more than once. 

Shirabu → he's a bitch. He gets insecure a lot and takes it out on you, making snide comments about your appearance. He’s also jealous of you, not other guys, that's partly where his insecurities stem from. 

Kawanishi → dates you so you can do his homework/uni projects for him. Also for your money, he likes free food and coffee. 

Goshiki → impulsive and gets easily heated. He also can't take any form of criticism. He once bought you a $600 volleyball - made of like gold or something, and was upset when you didn't immediately fall in love with it. 

Bokuto → man baby. Can't do anything. Needs you to do it for him. Also can't take criticism. Make one offhand comment and he’s wallowing in the pits of despair, curled up in a ball on the couch and pitying himself. Seriously, you could say something like “Kou why can't you clean up your own dishes?” and boom, he’s sulking on the couch.

Akaashi → treats you like a child, kind of like how he treats bokuto. You feel more like a daughter or something with how he always seems to step on eggshells around you to make sure you don’t act in a way that could be bothersome for him. He probably insults your intelligence as well. 

Konoha → doesn't know what a period is. He’s one of those reddit boys who bitches about their s/o and how they act on their period. Even if you don't get a period he’s still a bitch, he acts like every minor inconvenience is caused by you and he rants about it on reddit. 

Atsumu → he’s like Oikawa. An absolute fuckboy. Flirts with everyone and a chronic cheater. He doesn't even pretend to be sad when he’s caught, he just asks if you want to join.  

Osamu → he has trust issues. At first he thinks you're using him to get to his brother. He’s also lazy and can't clean up after himself. 

Kita → he has traditional views. Definitely believes in gender roles and wants you to be his subservient s/o. It doesn’t matter if you’re cis/girl/guy/nb (gender is a social construct) he is the man of the house and he will be the breadwinner while you tend to the house. Expects you to take care of his needs. 

Aran → he talks down to you. If you try to crack a joke he pulls it apart. Seriously, you've got to have no humour with him because for some reason he really likes to tear it to shreds. 

Suna → lazy. One worded replies, never texts first, ‘bros over hoes’ attitude. He treats you as a second class citizen for him to step all over. 

Terushima → coerced you into dating him. Not joking. He's a pushy fucker. Has probably tried to force you to do things, luckily you have been able to set boundaries - whether or not you need help from friends depends on you. 

Kiyoko → ignores you. She loves to give you the silent treatment because she likes the power of it. She uses it after arguments to ‘put you in your place’ and get you to come to her first. 

Yachi → she’s not emotionally ready for a relationship. She's a nervous wreck and is constantly jumping to conclusions that can be harmful for the both of you. 

Daishou → he’s canonically a cheater - well, in volleyball, so he definitely lies to you and manipulates you to get what he wants. 

Futakuchi → reddit incel. Is there anything more to say? He’s one of those ‘pick me’ guys who complain about being so nice only to have no dates. Average looking, below-average personality. He’s posted something like this before.

Aone → like Kiyoko, he plays the silent game, not because he wants to get on your nerves, he just expects you to know what he wants/is thinking with a simple look/without saying something. 

Sakusa → he’s disgusted by your germs. Don't touch him. It takes a long time for him to get used to your germs and accept them. He refuses to look after you on your period, too afraid that he’ll get covered in blood. Don't even think he’d look after you if you were sick.

Komori → he bitches about you to others, and he over exaggerates everything.

Feel free to add your own <3

[onigirintarou]

Ed Sheeran songs that describe how HQ boys love you

Ft. the Miyas, Suna, Sakusa, Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Bokuto, Ushijima, Kuroo

Tenerife Sea – Miya Atsumu

And should this be the last thing I see. I want you to know it’s enough for me. Cuz all that you are is all that I’ll ever need.

We are surrounded by all of these lies and people who talk too much. You’ve got the kind of look in your eyes as if no one knows anything but us.

Congratulations to this menace because Tenerife Sea is my fav Ed Sheeran song.

I am a firm believer that Miya Atsumu loves hard and he loves loud.

His social media posts consist of volleyball pics, the occasional thirst trap, Onigiri Miya content, and of course, you. The captions are always cheesy but he doesn't care. People who have the audacity to talk poorly about you are immediately on his shit list and blocked.

If he could make a PSA to tell the world that he's yours, he would.

How would you feel if I told you I loved you? It’s just something that I want to do. I’m taking my time, spending my life, falling deeper in love with you.

How Would You Feel? - Miya Osamu

Our favourite Onigiri chef isn't the biggest fan of expressing his emotions through words

He fumbles and often finds himself sticking his foot in his mouth especially when it comes to you

Instead, he shows his love for you through his actions. 

He wakes up before you do even on days where he doesn't have to open his restaurant until hours after you leave, just to make you breakfast. 

He takes the time to separate peas from your fried rice because he knows that you hate their texture (they end up on his plate because Osamu does not waste food). 

He has a soft grasp on your elbow when you're walking together which changes to a firmer grasp at intersections so that you stop and don't inadvertently walk into traffic.

You know that he loves you, but when he actually says it???

*404 Error* you forgot to say it back because you were in too much shock

Photograph – Suna Rintarou

We keep this love in a photograph. We made these memories for ourselves.

Suna has an album on his phone dedicated to you

He'll take what he calls "candid photos" which to you means that he's got his phone out and thumb already on the button when you slip up and do something silly, which, when you're around him is often

Those are his fav pics though - pics of you blearily wiping the sleep from your eyes, pics of you smiling down at the rudimentary latte art he drew in your mug (it was a dick!), even pics of you glaring at him and giving him the finger hold a special place in his heart.

Kiss Me – Sakusa Kiyoomi

I was made to keep your body warm. But I’m cold as the wind blows, so hold me in your arms.

Contrary to popular belief, Sakusa loves physical affection, only if it comes from you

Man is so in love with you that he'll indulge in some PDA to his teammates' complete shock and awe - "Did ya see Sakusa pull his mask down to give Y/N a kiss?" R.I.P. Tsumu

All of the Stars – Iwaizumi Hajime

You’re on the other side as the skyline splits in two. Miles away from seeing you. But I can see the stars from America. I wonder do you see them too?

Both of our hearts believe, all of these stars will guide us home.

Iwa canonically (maybe??? lol) goes to California to intern under Ushijima's dad

You cannot tell me that he doesn't fall either 1) have someone waiting for him in Japan or 2) leave someone waiting for him in California

The Joker and the Queen – Oikawa Tooru

I showed you my hand and you still let me win. And who was I to say that this was meant to be? The road that was broken brought us together.

And I know you could fall for a thousand kings... when I fold, you see the best in me.

the ANGST

most of the angst stems from Oikawa's belief that he isn't enough for you

he'll push you away and make you believe that you aren't enough for him

we stan a king with both an inferiority AND superiority complex

when you FINALLY FINALLY get together though, words cannot describe how grateful he is that you took a chance on him

Lay It All On Me – Bokuto Kotaro

No, you don’t have to keep it under lock and key ‘cause I will never let you down. And if you can’t escape all your uncertainties baby I can show you how.

Let my love in, lay your heart on me.

Bokuto is a firm believer in letting you feel your feels

My guy is emotionally intelligent and incredibly perceptive to your emotions.

Give Me Love – Ushijima Wakatoshi

Give me love like her ‘cause lately I’ve been waking up alone.

And it’s been a while but I still feel the same. Maybe I should let you go.

All I want is the taste that your lips allow.

the ANGST PART TWO

Ushijima strikes me as the kind of guy to not know what he has until it's slipping through his fingertips

But the utter desperation that he feels once he realizes!!!

Wake Me Up – Kuroo Tetsurou

‘Cause maybe you’re loveable... And you should never cut your hair ‘cause I love the way you flick it off your shoulder.

And now I’ve always been shit at computer games because your brother always beats me.

And you will never know just how beautiful you are to me. But maybe I’m just in love when you wake me up.

Kuroo X Kenma's sister supremacy

Idek if Kenma has a sister lol but I look at Kuroo and get massive best friend's brother feels

[toorusquill]

Could you imagine bokuto, hinata, kageyama and ushijima with a s/o who's mathematically gifted? Like they CAN calculate in mind then suddenly blurts out the answer? Or when they just starin' at one problem then automatically they already go the answer? (I requested this because i am not capable of doing this one and i am not mathematically inclined person) THANK YOU SO MUCH IF YOU'LL EVER NOTICE THIS ONE!

bokuto, hinata, kageyama, and ushijima with a mathematically gifted s/o

pairing: bokuto kotarou x gn!reader, hinata shoyo x gn!reader, kageyama tobio x gn!reader, ushijima wakatoshi x gn!reader

genre(s): general

warnings: -

a/n:  imagine being mathematically inclined </3 jk hope this is okay anon! sorry it took too long.

bokuto 

- he’d think you’re the coolest person ever; but, at the same time, he always tries to challenge you in what you think is correct </3

- he doesn’t mean to do any harm, he’s just being himself. you have to be patient and tell him that no, he is not correct because he did not follow PEMDAS.

- it’s canon that bokuto fails his math exams, so he probably turns to you so you could help him study and it’s the only time where he doesn’t question what you say is correct.

- probably asks you if you can kiss him everytime he gets an answer correct (hint: he doesn’t get a lot of kisses) but you find it hard to resist him because he’s just too cute.

hinata

- i think he’d act pretty similar to bokuto !! with the addition of showing you off to his teammates. be prepared to answer a LOT of random math questions on the spot because hinata just wants the team to know that his s/o IS a math genius.

- he also asks you for help with math, specifically because he told you that “tsukishima’s too mean” to even help. honestly, who can blame tsukishima for losing his patience though. hinata finds it really hard to concentrate

- but he tries his best for you since he knows you’re putting in a lot of effort to help him !! and he gets so happy when he receives his quiz back and it’s a passing score

- it’s pretty far off from what you could call an objectively good mark, but you’re happy that he tried anyways. also, how could you not smile when he literally made a beeline for your class after receiving it? hinata best boy.

kageyama

- pesters you with questions about how you’re able to solve it that easily.

- “do you memorize something?” “do you thing that could help with my sets?” “i wonder if i can do that, can you teach me?” 

- please be patient. he’s just very curious. also, he’s starting to take his studies a little more seriously for the sake of volleyball. he just does not want another repeat of the supplementary exams.

- i imagine that whenever you get something correct while you’re studying, his eyes kind of sparkle the same way it does when he’s around other setters !! it’s just cool how you give it no second thought. don’t point him out when he’s gazing (lovingly) at you, he gets all shy.

- will tell tsukishima that he doesn’t need him anymore. triumphantly. it’s a bit of a second-hand embarrassment spectacle but it’s cute how they bicker.

ushijima

- okay i do not think ushijima’s grades are as bad as.. the other three on this list. in fact, i think he’d do pretty well in STEM subjects if it weren’t for volleyball.

- that doesn’t stop his admiration though. even though most of the time he GETS the questions, he’s just in awe that you can breeze through them like they’re nothing. his stoic face is marred with an expression of surprise, and admiration.

- he does ask you if you can do anything to help him do things like that. he literally says “if i can do what you do, i never have to study again and i can practice more” and you have to tell him that it does not work that way </3

- he only trusts you to check his modules or help him with them because he knows you won’t judge him if ever he needs extra help. like, he will only ask you. no one else. he leaves questions he finds hard blank if you aren’t there to guide them through it.

[hnychn]

since y'all seemed very receptive to my opinion of sakusa and his headcanons, lemme talk about hinata and how the haikyuu fandom went and did him Dirty with a capital D.

i will also preface this by saying, i have no problems with the current HC's of hinata out there, but the level of innocence you all think this fifteen year old freshman highschooler has, makes me crack THE FUCK up every single time i read headcanons of him.

let me start this off by saying god damn it.

y'all really did this boy dirty 🧍🏽‍♀️

hinata is a fifteen (15) year old kid in highschool. i have seen headcanons of him out there where he doesn't know the first think about sex, nor does he understand any of the dirty jokes the people around him make.

now, i'm not saying hinata should have experience with sex, no. he's a minor. i'm saying, the fact that you all don't think this kid goes home and jacks off to porn blows my mind.

he is a boy. a man. a person of the male species. he is a hormonal teenager who thinks with his dick half of the time... of course he has jacked on off in the bathroom of his home, sitting on the toilet seat, with his earbuds in.

i just KNOW he, noya, tanaka and the other first years make the dirtiest jokes in the club room while changing and say "that's what she said" to everything daichi says, even when it doesn't make sense.

"alright, let's start practice."

"that's what she said."

and they all crack up. that's canon. you can't take that from me.

and i think all of the innocent headcanons of hinata stems from his bright, sunny personality, which doesn't make any sense to me because bokuto is almost the same, if not more, bright than hinata is, and we all know he [bokuto] could smother us all with his thighs while petting our heads and calling us "puppy"

this is just another example of the haikyuu fandom taking one aspect of a character and blowing it out of proportion. hinata is not, and will never be, as innocent as you all think he is. at his age, it's nearly impossible.

he has a strong drive for volleyball, but if he were ever in a relationship, he would have a drive for his partner and their interests and what makes them happy. not that he'd be good at it (probably), but he'd make an effort to like what his partner likes.

hinata would be the type of person who's there to lift your spirits and give you a good ol' pat on the back all while gathering his gang (noya and tanaka) to beat up the person who made you sad.

hinata is a ride or die and he'd rather die than spill the secrets you told him in confidence and private. why doesn't anyone talk about that? hm?

hinata is chaotic and has 100% stolen a cart from a grocery store and made you push him up a hill while he sat in it and berated you for being so weak encouraged you all the same to keep going, and then tell you to give him a little nudge to roll down the hill while still in the cart.

he has done this on many occasions, and in every single one has face planted so unceremoniously into the ground, you swore you heard even god let out a hiss at the sight of his face.

hinata is a chaotic being with too much energy that he doesn't know what to do with and will 100% use that energy either playing volleyball or dragging you around doing stupid things and getting out kicked out of places, there is no in between. you are mostly accompanied by the 2nd year duo because the three of them are a deal package babes. you want one? sike.

you got all three.

i'm writing this with three hours of sleep and solely out of spite to my mother who told me to go to sleep nearly two hours ago, i downed a bottle of monster energy in a fit of rebellion because fuck sleep and don't tell me what to do; and half of this probably doesn't make sense nor is it grammatically correct. but whatever.

i like talking about the characters and how they were done wrong by the fandom. it's not out of anger, not at all. really it's out of interest to me and i'd like to flesh out their characters into who i think they are or at least would be if they were real.

but idk. if you wanna comment about the topic with a character you think has been done completely dirty, please leave them in the comments.

now i'm gonna go watch the given movie and fall alseep in a puddle of my own tears. :)

[haik-choo]

fic tag game!

rules: talk about a fav fic you’ve written!

grassy ass @c0wisland for tagging me! 

i’m gonna tag @karasunology but i don’t have many other writer friends so -- 

the haikyuu boys’ toxic traits is OBVIOUSLY my favorite post! it includes character analysis so ofc it’s my favorite, but I’m gonna do was aelia did and just talk about why I did what for each character! the little things karasuno does is also up there! 

oikawa tooru’s toxic trait is connected to the canon of his gf breaking up with him! he knows he’s obsessed with volleyball, he knows the amount of time he spends on the sport is insane, and he knows that other people see it as out-of-the-ordinary. that’s why he expects people to keep up with him, because you clearly know he’s crazy about volleyball, shouldn’t you kinda expect a little negligence? he’s got a goal and he won’t change his path for anyone!

akaashi keiji’s toxic trait stems from him being so detail-oriented and being able to read people! even tho i think akaashi is intelligent enough to understand that not everyone is like him, i also feel that he’d have the expectation for his lover to be able to read him easily because they are supposed to be his safe space! he low key takes it as a sign of you not loving him if you can’t read him. because, if you really loved him, shouldn’t you be able to understand the little things he does?

yamaguchi tadashi’s toxic trait makes more sense if you connect it to how he acts before he has a successful jump serve! he’s super doubtful of everything because he lacks confidence from being the only first year that’s not a starter! 

kageyama tobio’s toxic trait stems from his one-track-mindedness! he also can’t pretend to like something he doesn’t, and he isn’t good at reading people, and he also doesn’t understand people’s emotions because he’s never really had to before. so he’s insensitive and doesn’t see how his words and actions hurt! 

kuroo tetsurou’s toxic trait is because he’s a scorpio LOL, from what i can tell they aren’t too fond of talking about their feelings and letting people in, also he gives me a lowkey mysterious vibe so i just amplified that!

hinata shoyo’s toxic trait comes from his light-heartedness and the fact that he’s never really been in any relationship before? he knows some couples have fights but he thinks that he won’t really encounter that with you, and when he does, he’s shocked because he thought???/ aren’t relationships supposed to be simple and full of love? honey baby just doesn’t get it 

bokuto kotarou’s toxic trait -- bro have you seen how dejected he gets when his teammates ignore him during the games even when he asks? literally gets so emo and pouty, just translate that to the relationship except he thinks that he should be able to give you all he love and you not push him away? he doesn’t need personal space so he doesn’t understand people who do LOL 

tsukishima kei’s toxic trait obviously comes from him holding back his emotions for so long. plus i think he just expresses his feelings completely differently. like if you’ve read the manga, when Tsukki blocks Ushiwaka’s spike and hinata tell him ‘good job’, you think tsukki smiles (which he does) but he automatically goes back to teasing. he just expresses himself differently and isn’t a good communicator which is vital in relationships 

iwaizumi hajime’s toxic trait is honestly something i either see him having 100% or not having AT ALL. he doesn’t seem to care about what other people think of him, so i lowkey feel like he wouldn’t care about showing vulnerability; OR he’s be aware of how manly he seems and he’f think that’s what made you attracted to him initially and he doesn’t want to show any vulnerability in fear of you losing attraction to him 

kozume kenma’s toxic trait would only happen if you were super close with him. first off, to even be in a relationship with him he has to feel comfortable around you, so he’d feel comfortable using harsher words with you. plus since you already know him he would think it’s ridiculous for you to expect him to change in any way. 

[ushijimawakaflockaflame-blog]

Back to Me - Bokuto Koutaro

AN: Honestly, I don’t know, man, I was in my feels and I was like you know what? I feel like making people sad. So I hope you’re a little sad after reading this.

I think my ideas stemmed from my college party head canons LOL. Enjoy I guess??? idk. should i write for other characters, too?

Cheers to drunk phone calls from your ex-boyfriend.

WARNING: Alcohol mention!

Bokuto swam through the crowd as it carried him from one side of the room to another. The entire house was vibrating with the bass, syncing up with the beat of his heart as he felt it a little harder to breathe. He felt the elbows and knees jab into him as he reached the alcohol, but his body numbed long before so they felt like light tickles. He giggled to himself as he poured another shot of whiskey into a sticky glass.

“Bokuto-san! Where did you -”

“AKAASHI-SAAAAN ~” he slurred, pouring another glass for his friend.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Akaashi asked, looking at the shot glass with disgust as it was handed to him.

“HELL NO!” Bokuto yelled. He raised the glass in the air. “If anything, I need more!! Bottoms up!”

Nothing tasted sweeter than the burn that trickled down his throat. The warmth in his stomach settled in like your arms wrapping around his waist. He remembered the way you would bury your face into his chest, and that’s when he knew he hadn’t drank enough. He remembered the way he would lay his cheek on top of your head and hold you close, never letting you go. The smell of your shampoo clouded his senses in the alcohol-filled environment. He frowned. If he could remember your name, your face, your touch, then he was much too sober.

“Oi,” he hiccuped. “Are you going to drink that or not…!?”

“I’m driving, remember?” Akaashi said, raising an eyebrow.

“Then hand it over! It’d be a waste to not drink it!”

Akaashi tossed the whiskey into the sink as Bokuto stumbled forward. He gasped dramatically, clinging onto Akaashi’s shirt as he lunged forward trying to catch it. His hazy movements made him slip, his body slowly sinking to the floor, bringing Akaashi with him.

“Why did you do that?” his voice was quiet against the loud music.

“Bokuto-san, You drank almost every day this week. We need to go home. You’re not -”

“I’m fine!!” he yelled. “I-I’m not a child!!”

“Then quit acting like one!”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Bokuto stumbled as he tried to get up from the floor. His mind flashed to you once again, remembering the time you fell on top of him accidentally and tried to help him up. Your giggles were engrained in his memory, and he coud imagine the way you crinkled your nose so cutely when you both fell to the floor from a failed attempt.

Before he realized it, he found himself outside of the party house on an empty, quiet driveway. He focused on the bass mixing with the sound of crickets. He leaned against the garage for support, but his legs gave out and he slowly slumped to the concrete.

His face felt wet and cold as the night breeze passed through. Touching his face, he felt the tears falling. His face was so numb from all of the whiskey that he didn’t even realize he was crying. His vision blurred as tears began to build up. He choked back a cry as he buried his face in his hands.

If you were with him right now, you would sit down next to him and lay his head on your shoulder to stroke his hair. You’d sing him his favorite song to hush his cries. You’d take his hand in yours. You’d kiss his forehead and tell him everything was all right.

But you weren’t here. And it was all his fault.

Bokuto was selfish. He threw you away six months ago, and now he sat outside alone, looking pathetic.

But he needed you. His heart wasn’t whole, and it was breaking into pieces with every second that passed because all he could think about right now was you. Bokuto could feel his heart race and he began to panic, not sure of what to do with the aching pain in his chest that felt like shattered glass.

With a heavy heart and shaking hands, Bokuto dialed your number.

It was two in the morning and you sat at your desk on this lonely weekend, tapping away at an essay that was due in a few days. You could hear the loud, drunk cheers of your colleagues as they ran through your street, and they sounded all too familiar. You sighed, not wanting to retreat in the dark corners of your memory.

But fate had a funny way of playing with you. You felt your phone vibrate against your desk. When you looked at the caller ID, you felt the air in your lungs get trapped and it was suddenly hard for you to breathe.

Bokuto Koutaro is calling….

You furrowed your brows, annoyed that you hadn’t removed the cute emojis from his name. But why was he calling you at this time of the night? You two hadn’t said a word to each other since he left you, and suddenly it was a convenient time to call.

Before he was your boyfriend, he was your friend; you spent every day after classes together. And when he broke up with you, he wanted to stay friends, yet you knew those situations never worked out in the end, but you didn’t try hard to begin with; it was too hard on your heart to see him smiling without you by his side.

So maybe this was a call where he needed you the most, as his friend.

You sighed, upset at your good conscience, and answered the phone.

“Do you have any idea what time-”

“You picked up.”

Your heart skipped as you heard his quiet sniffles over the phone. What had he been up to this whole night?

“Where are you?” you asked, concern apparent in your voice.

Even in his drunk state, Bokuto smiled as he heard the worry in your voice. You were always so thoughtful of him. “I’m at a house,” he hiccuped.

“A house party….?” you asked. “Are you drunk?”

“I miss you.”

Your heart was weak and poorly mended together. Pieces of it still lay around in the form of a sweater he left at your place and pictures you didn’t have the courage to rip into pieces. But these past six months, you have been slowly putting together the pieces of you that he left behind, and with one phone call, all that work went to wast. What was left of your whole heart slowly began to unravel as he spat out words so flippantly.

“Bokuto, you can’t just say that,” you practically begged.

“That’s not my name,” he whispered.

“What? Yes it is. Where’s Akaashi? Is he with you -”

“That’s not what you call me!” He hit his fist against the shallow metal of the garage door. “Say it. Say my name.”

The desperation in his voice destroyed all what had held your heart together. You were confused and hurt, but you would bear the pain if it meant that Bokuto was going to be ok, and maybe that mentality was what got you here in the first place.

“Kou,” you said, feeling your voice crack.

“Tell me you miss me, too.”

“Kou, I can’t just -”

“Please!” he begged, choking on his words. “I need to know that you miss me as much as I miss you! I know you do!”

“Of course I miss you!” you yelled. As silence fell through, you could imagine the wide eyes his face held. “But you can’t just say that you miss me!”

“W-Why not?”

“You’re the one that left me, remember?” It was your turn to cry now, and Bokuto knew you were. All because of him. “Why did you leave me?”

Bokuto was a handful, and the two years you dated him was a lot of work. You were there through every up and down he had ever experienced. You were so selfless and took care of him like it was so natural to you.

And it wasn’t fair. He knew that he couldn’t give you what you deserved. He knew he was incapable of being the one for you. You didn’t want a child like him; he didn’t deserve you.

“What did I do wrong?” your soft sobs broke his thoughts.

“N-Nothing! You were perfect…. You ARE perfect!” his heart began to race uncontrollable again at the thought of you thinking you weren’t enough for him. You are everything to him.

“Then why!?”

“I don’t deserve you!” he screamed.

“What?” you asked softly.

“You deserve better. You don’t deserve a child like me…. You would be happier with someone else.”

“You’re an idiot.” You were angry that he had the audacity to make such a heartbreaking decision for you. “How could you just do that to me!?”

“I know,” he admitted. “But I was just looking out for you!”

“No, you weren’t!” you choked back your sobs. “I was so happy when I was with you. I revolved my world around you. And then you leave me, and I am just starting to be happy without you.”

Bokuto felt his heart shatter as you finished your sentence. You were happy, and this time, it wasn’t because of him. He was no longer the reason he made you smile. His drunk mind began to think about other guys making you blush and laugh, and he hated himself even more.

“And then you call me when you’re drunk like you’re waltzing back into my life after six months of not talking. What if I was with someone!? Do you know how bad that would look!?”

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Are you seeing someone?” Bokuto asked, although he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer. If you answered yes, he would hang up right then and there, his heart and mind unable to bear such weight.

You sighed, rubbing the bridge of your nose. “No, I’m not.”

“I’m coming over.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’ll be over in ten,” and he hung up. You groaned loudly, frustrated that he was still selfish, even when drunk, but you couldn’t deny your quickening heartbeat.

On the dot, you heard a knock on your door. You couldn’t even open it as you unlatched the lock because Bokuto had beat you to it. All in one motion, he fell to his knees before you, tightly wrapping his strong arms around your waist. He buried his face in your sweater to muffle his sobs, and he suddenly felt at home.

His cries ceased as you ran your fingers through his hair. It felt soothing and safe. He nuzzled his face affectionately as a silent thank you and his cries slowly subsided.

You sighed tiredly and sat on the floor of your apartment with him. You could smell the alcohol on his lips. His mind was heavy and he dropped his gaze to the floor, unable to look at you. You cupped his face into your small hands and forced his face up. His eyes were puffy and red from all the crying that it was embarrassing. Your thumbs wiped away his slowing tears.

You clicked your tongue teasingly. “Look at how tired you are.”

“I’m so tired….” he closed his eyes, dipping his head to nuzzle against your palm.

You brought your lips to his forehead, something you knew that would cheer him up right away. Forehead kisses meant everything to him if they came from you only. He felt so loved. Your lips lingered lovingly as you pulled away.

“Let’s go to sleep.”

As you pulled yourself up, Bokuto only tugged you back down.

“I love you,” he blurted out. He squeezed your hands, scared of how you would react. “Don’t fall in love with anyone else.”

“I love you, too,” you whispered, poking his forehead teasingly. “Let’s just go to bed. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

Bokuto nodded. Gaining a sudden burst of energy, Bokuto lifted you up from the floor bridal style and walked slowly to your bedroom. He missed the way your giggles rang in your ears. All he wanted to do was hold you in his arms through the whole night. You made him feel at home.