#stick figure family bumper stickers

[bearofohu]

can yuo imagine being some fucking nuclear family visiting some socal tourist trap for the summer and you and your conservative stick figure bumper sticker ass family have a nice sit-in meal at the panda express only to leave the restaurant and theres just these primary colored-haired queers crying and then giving each other the nastiest wettest most tearful pitiful turbo white boy kisses in the middle of the parking lot like RIGHT in front of your minivan

[tadfools]

I saw a post that was like ‘these are the cars the bg3 companions would have’ but they were all rich people shit so here’s my version just for funzies

Shadowheart has a Subaru and if you know why then you know why. There’s a moon sun catcher hanging from the review mirror and on the back there’s one of those coexist bumper stickers (it was there when she bought it but she doesn’t take it off cause it might damage the paint under it)

Karlach has her mom’s old beat up a Honda Civic. It starts rattling if it goes over 90, one of the seatbelt is being held together with duct tape, it smells like crayons, and the check engine light is always on. But good god is it going to get you where you need to go

Halsin has a jeep Liberty/Cherokee, it’s always covered in mud and it smells like a wet dog…. He doesn’t have a dog

Lae’zel has a Volkswagen bug. It’s small, dignified, economical even! (Kinda)

Wyll had a Toyota pickup from the 90’s. It’s not much but it was the first car he bought that wasn’t with his dad’s money, he loves it like a son. It’s name is Alberto

Rich kid Gale would drive a 68 mustang if he ever left the house. I love the man but he would be one of those people who has a fancy car just to say he has a fancy car and doesn’t have the first clue on how to take care of it

Jaheria has half a dozen kids at any given moment and has a minivan. Yes, she does have one of those stick figure family window decals. There’s a soccer ball sized dent on the passenger door

Minsc has a mini cooper. A mini cooper that has more scratches and dings than it should but a mini cooper nonetheless. It got left in the sun way too long and has one of those fading spots on the roof.

Astarion is the proud owner of a Prius. Her name is Natalie

Also Withers’ has the car from that 70’s show

[drafthearse]

hi! hi can you roll down your window real quick i need to tell you something. it's a delayed green don't worry we've got time. ok yeah so i legit hate to break this to you but your 'quirky' bumper stickers inspired by stuff you saw on the internet are so fucking pedestrian. just like so vapid and unfunny yeah. you may as well have a fucking stick figure family back there man it's fucking embarrassing. well anyway [makes an unprotected left turn without yielding to oncoming traffic first]

[gryffon]

saw a stick figure family bumper sticker today on a beat to shit silver 1999 toyota corolla that just had a shorter woman holding hands with a taller woman and the text just said ME + YOUR MOM

[contrivedchaos]

Imagine Sera watching over baby Clara and Odette. Like meeting in heaven with a double baby sling

Sera's got a shirt that says, "Heaven's Greatest Mom". She also has one of those little stick figure family bumper stickers with two moms and three babies on the back of her horse-drawn chariot.

[remembertheplunge]

Proposition 8 on the ballot in 2008 in California banned gay marriage in the State. The proposition ultimately passed on November4, 2008.

Prior to voting day on the proposition, I wrote the following about it on one page of my 2008 journal:

4.52pm September 30, 2008

I saw the first “Yes on 8” bumper sticker. It’s yellow and blue and shows a stick figure family holding hands. It was on the bumper of a tan pick up truck which also included two other bumper stickers: one advertised a Catholic Radio station. The other promoted Republican John Mc Cain for President. The pick up turned from Tully onto Roseburg. At Brady and Roseburg, No on 8 signs were on both sides of the street.

My margin notes to above :

12/6/2008: A lawyer friend of mine told me that one of our local investigators that we use on our criminal cases still had a “Yes on 8” bumper Sticker on his car bumper. (I would, as a result, never hire that investigator to work on my cases after that.)

7/19/2010. I still see the Yes on 8 bumper stickers now and then.

Note.

3/10/2024

I haven’t seen a Yes on 8 bumper sticker around Modesto, Ca for many years now.

But the fact that cars still displayed them in 2010, 2 years after the Election affirming Prop 8, shows how deeply ingrained and public anti gay sentiment was among some then.

[crocodilenjoyer]

i think bege would like those stick figure family bumper stickers

[probably-enjolras]

parking on my college campus is great because all the cars have something that is just slightly unhinged. here is a list of things i’ve seen YESTERDAY alone:

my own car that has a fall out boy bumper sticker encouraging people to keep honking at me and i’ll ignore them in favor of listening to TTTYG

a car that has the license plate “oh worms”

a regular car with military decoration saying the driver was in the marines and had family in the military and it’s all clean and organized except for a corner that just has an alien smoking a cigarette and saying “existence is pain”

a car with the license plate “mstr yda” (Master Yoda) and definitely lived up to it because instead of those antlers you can put on your car for christmas to be a reindeer, this car had Yoda’s ears on it

a car with a sticker that told people to be nice to them because their tummy was upset (AND i know exactly where this sticker came from bc it’s a local trans owned art business that does mostly DND, queer, and funny/relatable stickers, bookmarks, notebooks etc)

the staff parking has roughly 4x the amount of yellow cars than the student parking, even though it’s only two lanes compared to multiple lots for students

a staff car that was almost certainly an english professor with a sticker that said “let me tell you why i hate lord byron”

no one (including staff) following the rules on which corner to put your parking pass sticker on (guys we get free parking all over campus and they will give you more stickers any time you lose yours just PUT IT IN THE RIGHT PLACE)

a line up of three cars next to each other with one being a truck with an american flag with the blue line for the “blue lives matter” thing (gross), a confederate flag (gross also but we’re in rural virginia so not unusual), and surprisingly no tr*mp stickers but pretty much every republican in the state and local areas, next to a small red buggy that was mostly covered in doctor who, star wars, and marvel stickers and a small pride flag in the window, next to a jeep that had the sticker “silly boys jeeps are for girls” and a license plate that said “chicks rule” (in a way that fit the license plate amount of space)

and, my personal favorite because we have the same schedule and i see him at my local bagel place a lot, a guy with an ATV that has a lot of stickers about all the forests, monuments, and national parks he’s been too, but double the amount of stickers telling everyone that he loves bigfoot, bigfoot is real, bigfoot is his sugar daddy, and a line up of different cryptids in the corner that you’d see those little family stickers that show the mom, dad, kids, and pets as stick figures

i don’t like taking pictures of cars, i feel like it’s quite violating and because i’m at a local college if i took a picture, it wouldn’t be hard to actually doxx these people, so you’ll just have to take my word for it but i don’t think i’m creative enough to actually make this shit up lmao

[rin-enjoyer]

That car post is absolutely hilarious and so in character it hurts!! Orochimaru taking the bus is such a mental image; like, the most NORMAL behavior from a guy who looks like THAT. Imagine him trying to offer you a stick of gum lol! For additions, I'd like to offer three I have so far. I hope you like them! 😃:

Kabuto, technically 10/10 driver: Either drives the most beat-to-shit minivan you've ever seen that his mother gave him second-hand, or a boring, white Toyota Corolla. No in-between. And yes, he DID research what the most inconspicuous car to own would be because he's no half-asser! Knows how to drive stick-shift, how to parallel park, and how to navigate a roundabout with ease. To the chagrin of literally every other human being, he took driving lessons way too seriously, and WILL call people out on minor or unknown traffic offenses/"offenses". He cites the laws perfectly from memory down to the section and page number; this nark behavior does not stop him from hucking corpses out of his moving vehicle, however. In his older years as the head of the orphanage, he pimps out his old minivan with stick-figure family stickers that take up the entire back window, and classy bumper stickers that say, "Honk If A Kid Falls Out". Still finds wrappers and other assorted garbage from the times he'd haul the Sound 5 and Orochimaru around.

Lee and Gai Sensei, -1000/10 drivers: If these two legally counted as cars they'd be an easy 100/10 in terms of driving prowess. Unfortunately for the actual drivers on the road they never caught the memo, and are often found weaving through traffic, with or without sports bikes. So far, only Gai's been in a near fatal car accident and let's just say... he gave it as good as he got, because Madara's Hennessey Venom F5 Was. Fucking. Totaled. Never, ever, ever, and I mean EVER, let these two catch their rivals on the road. They WILL jump on other cars to reach Neji and Kakashi and there WILL be serious collateral damage. They challenge the other two to "youthful tests of speed" on the road, with the stipulation that Lee and Gai go on foot. The results are far closer than you'd expect! Deck themselves out with cup-holders, large umbrella hats, and portable radios to better provide for their passengers... they do not get passengers. Or at least, not willing ones anyway.

wait help lee and gai are killing me thats literally so in chaater im dying. the near fatal crash with madara... that is the most beautiful thing ive ever seen. also hard agree on kabuto he learned from the best (orochimaru)

[as-i-watch]

This is the One Piece equivalent of those white people stick figure family bumper stickers

[nympho-brainiac]

1. I never thought I’d be the mom that cared what my kids did to their hair or how they dressed but it turns out…I am. God forgive me but it’s like they’re both trying to see how unkempt they can possibly look. So, there’s that.

2. This week stressed me out to an almost unnatural degree. If you ever want to ruin my life fuck up my schedule. I don’t have even one coping skill to deal with that. If it’s just one day I can masturbate my way through it but listen, I have a schedule because I hate time but I have to live in a world where time is a real thing so therefore in order to do so I have crafted a life and a schedule that works for me in a way that makes it possible to take a day or a week at a time off from the rigidity and play as hard as I want so therefore fucking up my schedule and routine is like fucking with my emotions. I fucking hate late people. That’s the rudest shit EVER.

3. I will never in my life understand bumper stickers or decals of (almost) any kind. It’s also very disheartening to know that I usually share the same beliefs as bumper sticker people. Not the stick figure people though. Red flag for me.

4. I came across a few of my old accounts on here and the nostalgia has been palpable ever since. If I’ve ever abandoned a blog and you were a mutual just know I never forget people I connect with. Even on just a like-re-blog level. And if you are from my chic-named-star days you’re family and I’m so embarrassed about how lame I was when I first landed here but I’m so glad to see some of your faces again. Spoiler alert I’m still a little lame.

5. Do you guys know what Phrogging is?? Oh. My. Gawd. I swear the weirdest things have been happening at my house lately and I never get scared but 👀 idk. What I do know is that if by chance I ever catch someone living in my closet or the attic or the walls of my house…it will be over for me. I will die. Just like that. I’m not being dramatic. Can you be scared to death? Don’t tell me I’ll google it.

[otteranha]

Steve Harrington invented those stick figure family bumper stickers and no, none of the Party have forgiven him for it.

[shapoopy178]

Saw one of those stick figure family bumper stickers on my way to work this morning with like 11 kids and actually felt ill at the concept

[darpow]

MERROCK TASK #19 THE TINIEST DETAILS

do they drive? if so, do they enjoy driving or do they hate it? or somewhere in between? Darius drives! It's not something that he'd say he cares about one way or another, just one of those sort of... every day part of life kind of things? Something he does!

if they drive, where is their favorite location to drive to? Home. He loves the ride home, no matter where he is.

if they drive, do they own a vehicle? if so, what make and model? Although he's currently in the market for a newer, nicer car, he currently drives a black 2012 Subaru Impreza. It's his goal to get a new car by summer time.

what bumper stickers do they have on their car? There are a few, actually! Some political stickers, equality stickers, travel stickers, a couple of history-related puns, he has those stick figures of himself and the dogs...?

what paintings and/or posters are on their walls? In the actual house itself, like the shared space, whatever was there when they moved in -- lots of local art, he's pretty sure, since he's seen it signed by names he knows from other locations in town.

what is a song they listen to with the windows rolled down, turned all the way up, on the highway? Fast Car by Tracy Chapman -- how can you not listen to that song when you're driving with the windows down? It was made for that moment!

is there an artform they’ve always wanted to try (glassblowing, woodworking, painting, ect) but never have? if so, what about that artform speaks to them? Darrius isn't really a super artistic kind of person. He tries, but just doesn't think that it's in his blood. If he had to try something, glassblowing would be kind of cool? He'd also love to learn more about calligraphy, maybe! Just to sign his name in big, swoopy letters.

what time of day do they usually start getting sleepy? He's not a super late at night kind of person, he normally grades papers and works on school stuff before bed, so he's tired and ready to pass out between ten and eleven each night.

do they catch a second wind? if so, what is their method for catching it (napping, drinking coffee, exercising, ect)? If he has to, he will. Coffee, coffee, coffee, but he's not against getting in a good work-out to get the heart pumping.

are they a nap person? if so, how long are their naps? do they set a 20 minute timer and wake up before it? or set no timer and wake up in the middle of the night? Every now and then, he'll take a nap, but he's not the kind of person who takes one daily or even regularly, it's more of an 'as needed' basis. He'll set a timer, keep it a short, quick nap.

what is the most obscure book they’ve read? Oh God, a lot of the history books that he's read would probably be considered obscure? Stealing LIncoln's Body was probably a more recent one.

what is a book that interested them so much they took it with them to the bathroom? To Kill a Mockingbird when he was much younger. His siblings embarrassed him, too.

what did the air smell like during their childhood? Fresh baked pizza. Darrius's family lived really close to a pizza shop, and every night, the smell would make its way down the block to their house. He could also smell bread when it was baking in the mornings.

what is a core memory from their childhood that they look back on fondly and for comfort? Attending his very first Chicago Bears game with his dad. He knows that he spent a lot of money on those tickets (the Bears were almost good back then), and he's always been grateful for that.

when was the last time they were held, and truly held, for several minutes? who was it with? Probably after he got fired from his first teaching job, by his mother. Darrius isn't really a highly affectionate kind of person, to be honest.

do they meditate? if not, have they ever tried? how did it go? It's not really his thing, but he has in the past, sure! He wouldn't say no to doing it again, he's just not sure that he'd go out of his way to do it unprompted, either.

how many pennies and quarters do they have in their couch? They're Aisha's, he swears! Jokes aside, there probably are some there! He'll often buy snacks or drinks through the day at work and then pocket the change and forget about it.

how dusty is their home? spotless, lived-in, dust bunny haven? Definitely not dust-covered! But not really spotless, either, so somewhere in between, he would probably say? It ends up being a good mix, nothing that they would be embarrassed to have people visit them for.

what is their favorite chocolate bar? A KitKat, and he eats it while he sings the jingle, too.

do they like their brownies fudgy or cakey? or not at all, and only want the crusts? A brownie is a brownie, who is honestly going to say no to that either way?

whats that one weird food combination that everyone else thinks is gross but they think is delicious? A lot of people don't like Chicago deep dish pizza, so that's one point for Darrius, but not really a combination. Oh! Hot dog and pickle.

where do they put their shoes when they come home from a long day? Right inside the door, but out of the way of anyone coming in or going out, so they don't trip over anything.

after a vacation, do they immediately unpack or slowly retrieve items from their suitcase until its empty? Somewhere in between. The first few days, he'll slowly unpack things as he needs them, but it doesn't take that long for everything to be fully sorted out and taken care of, either.

how often do they do self-reflection? Probably more often than most people.

are they more afraid of being alone with themselves or with others? Neither, really. Darrius can adapt to being alone, or with others. He doesn't like huge crowds, though, and sometimes that pushes himself to feel alone in a busy room, so maybe that.

have they ever had a near death experience? if so, what was it? Not that he can recall!

out of all the subjects in school, which was their favorite? which one did they excel at? Duh, history. Darrius was great in school! Easily one of the smartest kids in his class, but history was always his favorite, and he excelled at it so much more than the other subjects, that's how he knew he wanted to pursue a career there.

how many alarms do they have set on their phone? what is their alarm ringtone? Just the one. He sets it early enough that he can hit snooze if he needs to, but he doesn't very often. His ringtone is just whatever standard sound comes with the sound set he's using at the moment.

do they fart in front of other people? or do they hide their farts? Well, he absolutely has, but it's not like it's intentional! It's also not something he would be ashamed of, necessarily.

do they have to see any specialist doctors? if so, do they have a strong bond with their doctor or do they dislike them? Not really, no. Just the usual sort of doctors for the usual sort of things, and he gets along well enough with all of them.

what is their favorite seasoning? Cumin, paprika, allspice, Darrius is much less picky about what seasoning is being used as long as there is some seasoning involved in what he's eating.

what is their favorite sauce? Barbecue sauce! But he also loves a good lemon aioli.

how spicy is spicy for them? (pepper, jalepeno, ghost pepper, ect) There is no such thing. Try him! Darrius would absolutely slay if he was ever on Hot Ones.

how long do they let the dishes go unwashed? Not very long, they might sit for a day or two, but they'll get done before things get funky. He doesn't like it when the sink is too full, anyway.

how much laundry do they accumulate before doing it? Well... alright, he's not really the best about doing laundry regularly, so sometimes it sits longer than it should...? But it gets done. He's never not had clean underwear and socks to go to work!

what shampoo, conditioner, cologne/perfume and deodorant do they use? He likes Kiehl's for shampoo and conditioner, but he'll use anything, to be honest. As far as cologne goes, he doesn't have any particular one that he feels like he needs to use, but he tends to reach for 'classic' scents, things like leather, sandalwood, maybe a hint of citrus. And deodorant, he's not picky. Just strong!

[penguin-pebble]

Journal 20/24/09/29

I guess I should probably write down what happened. I honestly don’t remember much. Just stepping off the London underground on my way to Uni, then stepping into a lab. Most of my first few days here were spent in a plain beige observation room, waiting for tests to come back. Was I dangerous? Not imminently. Was I contagious? Not dangerously so. Was I truly from another world? Or simply pulled from somewhere else in this one? Their questions about history and current events, and my blank stares, confirmed it. Eventually, they deemed I was harmless and released me from my beige prison. 

After realizing I had nowhere to go, one of the scientists, Mood, who had originally questioned me, offered me the guest room at her house. I was surprised, even more so when I remembered Mood and her husband had a four-year-old kid at home. But Mood and her coworkers seemed even more aghast at the idea of spending possible months in a hotel so I accepted, at least for a few days. Looking back, it seems like this world is just a little more trusting.

Leaving that stark whiteness of the Lab, or at least the sterile portion of it revealed more differences in our worlds. They could be described as cubicles, but it was nothing like the sea of corporate I was used to. Each sectioned-off workspace (apparently they call them nests) had a few monitors and perhaps some gadgets that had scientific importance unknown to me. The rest was covered in trinkets. Mugs, potted plants, tchotchkes, novelty snowglobes, tiny figurines, and more. The cubical walls, which looked more like the sides of a woven basket scaled up to room size, had even more decoration. Keychains, ribbons, macrame, and bits of elaborate jewelry hung from the woven fibers, and pictures or larger hangings were pinned to larger vertical supports every few feet. It looked like a few people had sectioned off their desks further, with more woven dividers or lengths of tapestry strung from beams on the ceiling.

This theme continued outside into the dry late afternoon heat (yet another reminder I was somewhere entirely different). The parking lot was relatively familiar, but the cars were something else. Similar makes and forms, but the colors. Most manufacturers I know stick to greys, silvers, whites, and blacks. Maybe the occasional red. These shades of brights and pastels are only for classic cars or expensive bodywork. Not here. Each car had a unique combination of colors. It seemed purposefully contrasting paint was used on parts that had been replaced (Mood’s blue-silver van has an iridescent purple bumper and right mirror and evidence of a large dent in the back has been embellished with gold paint).  Not to mention the stickers. about a dozen “Honk if you science” bumper stickers on Mood’s car alone. Some cars had familiar stick-figure families on their rear windows (albeit each figure seemed similarly bedazzled in their own vinyl clothes and accessories). But every car was covered in a myriad of different bumper stickers featuring cheesy slogans, landmarks, and unfamiliar cartoons or mascots.

This maximalist theme only continued as we drove through town and into a small suburb. At first I thought it must be Christmas or some equivalent holiday. As we passed by rows of houses, each door had a wreath. Most had two or more, with many having additional wreaths on the lower half of the door. These weren’t your normal pine sprig and holly Christmas wreath or even the more niche wreaths for other holidays and seasons. They looked like rope, or sometimes a wire, or maybe willow base. Each one covered in more random trinkets. Necklaces and strings of beads were artfully draped across and pins, earrings, and keychains hung from the frames. A few even had small figurines or toys stuck within the tangle of chains and beads.

Harper and Mood’s house had modest wreathes by comparison. I could still see the wire structure underneath all the brica-brack. Later, I learned this was because they only moved here a few years ago, so they were closer to both Tyler’s school and Mood’s lab. Apparently moving is like a really big deal here. Harper said that most families live in the same house for generations, adding on when they need more room. Usually, one kid stays in the family home while the rest move out join other families or create their own. Haprped says that if I’m still here I’ll be able to tag along for some winter holiday hosted by Mood’s brother.

Even though the house is new construction, it seems like Mood and Harper have already added on. The guest room I was offered turned out to be a separate building entirely. A sort of mother-in-law unit connected to the main house by a small covered patio area. It’s actually making me a lot more comfortable staying here, I’ve got my own bathroom and shower (I am infinitely grateful that area of culture seems to be the same) and even a small kitchen. The bed is weird though. It’s about the size of a double back home, maybe a queen. But it’s sunk into its own alcove, like a fancy window bench pumped up to eleven. And there are so many pillows. I don’t think the bed even has a proper mattress, just a thin pad, like a giant chair cushion, then a sea of pillows. All different shapes, sizes, colors, and designs. Plush, firm, or just decorative. It took me ages to find a position I could fall asleep in, but it was the best sleep of my life.

Some of the walls here have that same woven texture as the cubical nests at Mood’s lab (apparently the beds are also “nests” along with the small writing desk nook next to it). Sometimes they use little folded dividers of the same material too. That and curtains. Every room is divided into countless nooks and cubbies. It’s still very strange, but I’m starting to see how it could be considered homely.

[thane-of-notvoting]

Wow, you've got a "Giant Meteor: 2024" bumper sticker. That's so crazy man. You've also got a "your stick figure family was delicious" sticker with a t-rex? Dude NO way. Don't tell me... you also use Black Rifle Coffee products? Holy fuck.