#still sorry about tad carruthers

[one-squash-one-end]

An unhinged recap of Ronan's homosexuality

Hi! This once again belongs to my big Raven Cycle analysis, click here for the masterpost.

Again, there's not much room for speculation here, but i had to write it for completionist purposes. I apologize for certain metaphores used, for the most part when I was writing this I was going through it (brain was fried).

Here u go (also spoilers for Greywaren)

d) Ronan Lynch

Next to Adam, Ronan is the only other canonically queer person in the Gangsey. A flaming homosexual with a car fetish (because there was something unbelievably sexy about cars at night). Ronan is the original Be Gay, Do Crime. (Adam is the Be Crime, Do Gay to that.)

You get the gist; he is seriously involved with one guy but used to have some bits of self discovery (not only on the topic of his sexuality) with another, which ended because that guy kidnapped his brother because despite being gay, Ronan unbelievably was not into him. I’m sorry, I really do not want to dissect the entirety of Pynch in here, that would go way too far and I bet there are so many people who could do and have done this better than I ever could, so I’ll stick to elaborating some more on how we find out that he is gay, considering I think he doesn’t say the word until Call Down The Hawk.

In the first book, Ronan does not get a pov, maybe because Maggie needed some more time to figure out how to make a character subtly and thirst over another character in a secret and homosexual way. Still we get some small hints, based on conversations with other characters, or just his behavior in general.

Gansey: “From now on I need all of us to be straight with one another” Ronan: “I’m always straight” Adam: “oh man that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told” This, of course, is legendary. Ronan is gay, he jokes about it, Adam knows it. I genuinely cannot tell whether Ronan had come out to his friends, whether he just did it through jokes like this etc. If the latter is the case, I honestly doubt that Gansey would have known, as oblivious as he is.

We also have the case study of Declan and his Ashleys. Ronan seems to despise the heterosexual standards that his brother portrays, but it is not clear whether that’s because of heterosexuality, or because of Declan, because let’s be honest, in book one, Ronan would hate, absolutely hate, anyone Declan dates out of principle, because Declan’s just a bitch, or a manwhore, as Gansey would say.

Then it gradually all becomes very much obvious in The Dream Thieves. We got the parallels with religion, his nightmares (his night horrors/self-hate maybe being because of internalized homophobia?) and of course the secrets. The secrets you keep from yourself, the very obvious metaphor. Plus Kavinsky literally calls him the f-slur. You will very easily pick up on that if you’re not as oblivious as I was when I first read the book (I was in my Declan Lynch era with a tummy-ache ok?), but it is explicitly resolved in the epilogue. There is no more room left for ambiguity, thank you Maggie for ending the queer speculation yourself, within the book.

Then there’s gender, of course there’s gender. Gender is like Tad Carruthers, just always materializing out of nowhere, especially when you just want to stay away from it because it’s fake and a massive bitch.

Ronan definitely identifies as male, but if you look at this a certain way he is somehow trans or defies the entire concept of gender either way, considering he is a supernatural being, spirit, entity, that was just socialized as a boy. Ronan is like Cabeswater, or Lindenmere, which both don’t have a gender, obviously, they are forests. The Greywaren is often referred to as an “it”, which makes sense when people don’t know the Greywaren is human, but something about the entire thing smells very trans rights to me. Also that eldritch horror, not quite human at all,  jumble of dark matter thing in Greywaren was just so gender of him.

Ronan would wear a crop top, there’s no doubt to me.

[the-ace-with-spades]

(3/6) the best is yet to be

five times someone realized Ronan and Adam were basically married and one time they actually were

Part 1 │Part 2 │Part 4 │Part 5 │Part 6

Read on ao3

Tad had been living on his own since his parents sent him to a boarding school when he was twelve. But being in high school now had its perks — he had his own credit card that he could buy whatever he wanted and never had to eat that awful cafeteria food they served in the dorms.

He usually ate out because it was the fastest and the most sociable but he tried to keep the dorm room and communal kitchen stored with pre-made meals and snacks in case he didn't want to socialize. Eating out alone wasn't really an option when someone has so many friends that go eat in the same places.

The frozen meals didn't always work and he had burned two pans already. The stuff you just have to put in the microwave was far easier.

Henrietta was a crappy small town and there were only two actually big supermarkets near the school. It was already quite late when he decided he wanted onion rings with chilli sauce so he drove a couple of streets and stared around the frozen goods alley, realizing it was probably too late and most of the good stuff was gone.

It was also unbearably hot, since the first heat waves just started to settle in for the summer, and the crappy supermarket AC wasn't working, so standing in the frozen goods alley was the only option, now that he was there and didn't have the energy to leave.

"Come on, we don't need a list," some guy said, way too loud. The voice seemed almost familiar in a sense that Tad had heard it before but he couldn't place where because it reminded him of someone but didn't sound exactly like someone.

It came from behind the alley with toilet paper and Tad couldn't see exactly who it was and wasn't exactly in the mood to go back into the non-heated area.

Maybe it was better. Next, he heard another voice but it was quiet to the point that Tad could only recognize that this someone was speaking something sharp and judgemental.

"I didn't forget it, I just think we could use going wild once in a while."

There was more hashed words in answer to that and if Tad had to guess, it was the wife. In his experience, wives had a tendency to be hysterical about the slightest misbehaviours — his dad had had four of them and every single one of them would argue with him about stupid stuff like why they didn't have a jacuzzi in the house, or why the pool wasn't cleaned twice a week instead of one, or why there was no grill in the kitchen. In Tad's experience, a wife wasn't worth the trouble. Not that Tad even wanted to have one.

"I could pay, I'm going to use up most of the stuff anyway," the man said, obviously fed up now.

He was met with even more sharp words. Tad knew how it worked — his dad often used quiet but pointed words and silent looks and it always felt even worse than being yelled at.

"Babe," the man said, trying for a softer but still frustrated tone.

There was no answer so that was the moment for silent, disappointed looks. If he didn't know that the guy chose to be with — or probably get married to — whoever he was talking to, Tad could almost pity him.

"Fuck, okay, just wait here, I'll go for the shitty list to the car."

And there was back again that annoyed tone with no fake sweetness. It definitely sounded more familiar now.

Tad hated married couples. They would always argue in the middle of the store — or any other place, to be honest — and were always loud and spend weekends in supermarkets or Home Depot like they were their regular date spots and take way too much time to decide about basic stuff like which color of a carpet they should use. He had yet to see a married couple that wouldn't argue about everything that should be casual in life.

This was exactly why he was never getting married.

The stamping sound went away with the guy leaving the store, hidden by the shelves and drawing away, further to the entrance. He was most likely pissed off, even though this was probably some stupid reason to be pissed off and grumbling to himself about his stupid wife. Tad knew the type — rural town couples that hated each other but pretended otherwise because they already spent the money on the wedding or already had a kid together.

Tad heard a deep sigh behind the shelves.

Married. Couples.

Maybe there was enough cool air in the milk and yoghurt fridges alley.

The store was mostly deserted, except for him and that married couple he still hadn't seen, he noticed only a small group of teens from Mountain View next to the chips and a woman with a sleeping baby at the checkout.

The fridges with milk were warm. Henrietta was a crappy town, and this no-name, locally owned supermarket was even crappier. The AC didn't work and the fridges felt like someone was turning them off and on every couple of hours.

The noisy sliding door opened again when he was contemplating buying vanilla milk, and the angry stamping could be heard, becoming louder and stopping in the cereal alley nearby. Tad was ready for the next argument, really, it was like the cheap version of reality tv. At least the baby at the checkout wasn't crying.

"I got the fucking list."

And the next quarrel was there.

There was silence and the cart in that alley moved — it was just a couple of seconds before it stopped again with a horrendous screech.

"Come on," the guy said. "Don't give me the silent treatment, it was just a stupid list."

There was a longer, even quieter monologue that was just as exasperated.

"Fuck, I know," the guy said, now giving in. "I'm sorry."

Tad didn't hear anything at all but there had to be an answer because the guy said, "You asshole."

This didn't exactly sound like something you should call your significant other just after a fight but Tad wasn't one to judge.

The cart moved again and Tad pretended he was busy choosing between vanilla and chocolate milk and not at all eavesdropping.

From around the corner of the shelves, Adam Parrish, leaning heavily on the handlebar, pushed the cart closer to the wall with the fridges. What made Tad freeze at once was Ronan Lynch, with his chin hooked over Parrish's shoulder and arms wound around his waist, hanging onto him like a leech. Really, this just ensured that his opinion on Lynch was right and Lynch was a parasite that fed on people who would otherwise make great friends, like Parrish or Gansey.

There had been different rumours about Lynch in school. Some said he was dead in a ditch. Some said he was in rehab in some private clinic in Florida. Some said he left with his brothers for DC. Some said he fucked off and became a farmer. None of those ideas seemed realistic but Gansey was adamant about not answering any questions and no one had seen Lynch in almost two months so the imagination was flowing wild. Personally, if he had to choose, Tad would bet for the second option.

"Parrish," he said, because he really didn’t know what else he could.

His eyes were still going up and down the weird fixture that was both of them, practically glued to each other, when Adam answered.

"Carruthers."

Parrish was wearing a black jean jacket full of tears and patches and pins and with slightly too long sleeves — too expensive to be his — and it looked completely out of place on him, Tad had only ever seen him in that crappy secondhand school uniform. Underneath he had the coveralls, tied low on his hips, faded out and stained with oil. If anything, Tad felt hot just looking at him.

The brightness of Lynch's shirt was almost as unexpected, because he had never seen him in anything but the school uniform, or black clothes — it was a red Coca Cola t-shirt, a little too small on him.

Tad made a step closer, reaching his hand for that weird handshake-high-five that Gansey and Parrish often did. Parrish took a step back and that step meant he was hips-to-hips with Lynch who was clinging to him. Instead of moving out of the way or yelling at Lynch to move out of the way, Parrish just stood there, ignoring it completely, like this was something normal.

"So," he began, pointedly ignoring Lynch. "What are you doing here?"

"Grocery," Parrish said and when Tad didn't find anything to reply with for a minute, he added. "We ran out of toothpaste. And some other stuff."

The we there was very explicit.

"You want something, shithead, or can we do our thing without your stalker eyes on us?"

Lynch was pleasant as always.

Maybe Tad should ask Parrish if he was blackmailed into, well, whatever that was. Maybe Parrish would finally realize all the hints Tad had been giving him and realize that he had options other than Lynch.

But then he realized — it had been Lynch's voice, back in the toilet paper alley, just unbelievably calm.

[deadlyanddelicate]

i was tagged by @deerlovelylily to do this like... 84 years ago aaa i’m sorry molly ilu!! thanks for the tag 💕

author name: starsandgutters (on ao3)

fandoms you write for: there’s been a few, but the only one i’m currently really active in is the raven cycle (and now the dreamer trilogy will be added to that, i suppose!); however, the fandom i have written the most (or longest) fics for remains supernatural

where you post: all my fic lives either on my ao3 or on the writing tag on my tumblr. i try to keep them both equally caught up, but sometimes with longer fic i will only post a preview on tumblr and the full text on ao3, or with short drabbles i may just keep them on my tumblr and not bother uploading them to ao3. consistency, eh? i also have a wordpress for poetry, but it doesn’t see much use.

most popular oneshot: mmm i basically only write oneshots, and i’m not sure what constitues “most popular”... if we base this on tumblr notes, my most popular fic is “ink riddles” [tumblr/ao3]; if we base it on ao3 kudos, it’s “the stars exploding (we’ll be fireproof)” [tumblr/ao3] for trc fandom, while my supernatural fic “five times castiel spoke to dean in a foreign language, and one time dean returned the favour” [tumblr/ao3] is my most kudos’d one overall. 

most popular multi-chapter story: the only multi/chapter story i’ve completed was my dean/castiel big bang, “to mend the cracks with gold” [tumblr/ao3]. i’m still quite fond of it as it’s the only novel-length thing i’ve written :’)

favourite story you wrote: mmh it IS probably going to be the abovementioned “the stars exploding (we’ll be fireproof)”, just because it includes some of my favourite things, aka: toga parties! comparing your loved ones to gods and mythological creatures! tad carruthers’ unrequited crush on adam! ronan loving horrifying baby animals! flirting on a balcony while yearning! me coming up with pre-trk theories and being clowned when maggie josses them!

story you were nervous to post: oh, definitely my latest one, “with quiet words i’ll lead you in” [tumblr/ao3]. i mean i’m always kinda nervous when i post something but with this one i knew it mattered, because it was one discussing ronan’s sexual assault and i wanted to handle it sensitively and respectfully, while still keeping it realistic for the characters’ personalities. i wrote it for myself first and foremost, but i hoped it would be helpful, rather than upsetting, for people who have gone through assault. 

how do you pick your titles: i’m going to be real honest -- unless i start from a specific titular concept (e.g. my supernatural big bang was always going to go with kintsugi/kintsukuroi), or sudden inspiration stirkes, it IS going to be a song lyric. i’m just a lyric hoe like that (and i’m bad at coming up with titles).

do you outline: i usually write myself notes in the doc itself, such as [then this happens] or [fill this part in with character X freaking out], so i can go back to them as inspiration comes and goes, but as i mostly write oneshots i don’t usually need elaborate outlines.

how many of your stories are complete: as i mostly write oneshots... basically all of them except for 3 attempts at multi/chapter fic (as i said before... my only completed multichapter was the deancas big bang, so i should probably stick to shorter pieces. :’) there’s one in glee fandom, “running the banner down”, which i can confidently say will never be finished for several reasons; one in supernatural fandom, “red sun rising”, which... i still love the concept for, but it was based on demon!dean and that lasted about 3 episodes on supernatural, so no point finishing that unless i go full canon divergence; and a trc au called “sound the alarm”, which... i actually may finish someday. all of these can be found on my ao3, but obviously, they’re extremely incomplete.

in-progress: i suppose the only one that counts as “in progress” is “sound the alarm”, but it’s more in arrested development than actual progress (heh). i have 2 or 3 ideas for oneshots that i want to write, but i haven’t started writing them yet, so again, they’re not really in progress.

coming soon: as i mentioned before, there are a few things i want to write -- the missing scene from the first time ronan visited adam in college, a flashback fic of persephone teaching adam, and a fic exploring blue/adam going from dating to friendship. i also have some very nebulous cdth-related ideas (which i won’t mention because, well, spoilers). plus, i still owe @deerlovelylily dreamspace date fic! SOMEDAY molly, i swear D:

do you accept prompts: i do!! as long as there is the understanding that sending a prompt does not guarantee me writing the fic (because time, energy, mindspace, inspiration...)

upcoming story you’re most excited about: all of them are in way too early stages for me to significantly get excited, but... probably the missing scene fic and the cdth-related ideas? i’m just in a very dreamer trilogy adjacent mood lately, for obvious reasons, lol.

tag five fanfic authors to answer these questions: ahhh i suspect most of my writer friends have already done this but... just in case @harvardparrish @ravenqueen89 @silkspectred @mishcollin @bleachersmp3 ?? if you’ve already done it (or even if you haven’t) there is no obligation! conversely, @ anyone who would like to do this, pls feel free, and tag me so i can read!! 💖

[emmerrr]

Prompt for pynch if you're interested: snippets of Adam checking out Ronan, from pre-series (even before they met and Adam just saw Ronan around school) to post-canon (well into their marriage).

dearest anon, I started this prompt with the most golden of intentions to actually stick to it, but it’s gotten so far away from me and it has veered off brief and it’s still not finished :/ rather than it being snippets of adam checking ronan out, it’s sort of turning into snapshots of the progression of their relationship, and although there are still elements of your original brief in there, it’s not exactly what you asked for and I’m really sorry :(

what I’m gonna do is post the first scene of it here now because that part probably best reflects your prompt, and hopefully I can finish up the rest of it tonight and tomorrow and then I’ll post a link on tumblr to the finished fic on ao3 tomorrow night. again, I’m sorry it won’t be exactly what you asked for, but I hope you enjoy it anyway!

*general disclaimer: I have 5(!) more prompts still to get to so please don’t send me any more at the moment. depending on how I feel when I finish the last one, I’ll re-open them again. so keep an eye out. :) 

-

Adam’s very first class of his very first day at Aglionby is World History, and he’s the first to arrive. He takes a seat by the window near the back of the room, perches his elbow on the desk to prop his chin up with his hand, and peers outside at the courtyard, watching the hustle-bustle of students heading to their classes.

He’s not here to make friends; Aglionby is his ticket out of Henrietta and all he wants to do is keep his head down and work hard. That being said, his stomach is in knots as he hears the approaching voices of his new classmates.

Cutting his gaze to the door is a natural reflex as a couple of boys enter the room, mid-conversation as they discuss what they did over the summer, and Adam feels himself tense as they notice him. But their eyes glance off him and away as they sit down, and he’s both relieved and offended by the casual dismissal.

The classroom gradually fills and by the time the teacher arrives, there are only two empty chairs; the one directly in front of Adam and the one next to it. The seat next to Adam is now occupied by a boy who introduced himself as Tad Carruthers, the kind of name Adam thought only existed on shitty teen dramas. He’s the only person who has said a word to Adam and he seems friendly enough, happy to carry the conversation despite Adam offering him little more than nods or monosyllabic answers. He wonders if perhaps being ignored is preferable.

Luckily, class then begins and brings an end to the forced socialisation. The teacher does the obligatory start of a new school year admin, and just as he’s wrapping up two more boys show up, almost five minutes late.

They’re both impressive specimens but in entirely different ways. The one in front looks like a future president or CEO, so immaculately dressed that Adam reaches subconsciously for the tiny tear on the shoulder seam of his second-hand jumper, covering it with his fingers. This boy looks entirely at ease in a way that Adam never is, and it’s all topped off with perfect hair. Artfully tousled, Adam wants to say, and then can’t believe the phrase even crossed his mind.

The second boy is taller, with a shaved head and derisive eyebrows and an expression of utter disinterest on his face as he casts his gaze across the classroom. His uniform is somewhat more bedraggled than that of his companion, but he wears it well and it annoys Adam to no end. His shirt’s untucked, top two buttons clearly undone from where his tie is knotted loosely and carelessly. He catches Adam’s eye, and Adam can’t quite look away. His eyebrows raise slightly, clearly at seeing someone he doesn’t recognise, but then he continues tracking the room.

If his friend is classically handsome, then this one’s savagely handsome. They make quite the pair.

“Richard Gansey,” the teacher says to the newcomers, “and Ronan Lynch. How nice of you to join us.” The tone is a little tetchy and Adam actually agrees with the sentiment — how hard is it to be on time on the first day? All the same, he prepares himself for the secondhand discomfort that comes from other people being told off in front of you.

It doesn’t come.

The boy who entered the room first — Richard, apparently — smiles at the teacher and it’s disarming; even Adam can feel it from nearer the back of the classroom. Quiet chatter has broken out during the distraction and so he can’t quite hear what Richard says, but the teacher’s demeanor changes almost instantly. They look like they’re the best of friends somehow, like this kid’s somehow managed to subvert a potential telling off to a social call, and Adam’s not sure how he’s done it. It’s a trick he wants to learn.

While Richard keeps the teacher occupied, the other boy — Ronan — starts to move. There’s only two seats he can pick from, and he decides on the one that puts him right in front of Adam. He flings his bag across the desk like it’s personally offended him and all but throws himself into the chair.

He tilts it back so it’s on two legs and Adam sees the top of what looks to be a very intricate tattoo creeping up towards his neck, out of his collar.

Adam finds himself wanting to see the rest of it, and he swallows thickly, shaking his head to try and dislodge the thought.

“Lynch,” says Tad Carruthers from Adam’s right. “Good summer?”

With painstaking slowness, Ronan tilts his head so he’s almost looking at Tad upside down. He says nothing but he doesn’t need to in order to get his message across, and Tad laughs nervously then looks away. They are clearly not friends.

Ronan smirks and it’s a good look on him, even from this angle.

Adam doesn’t realise he’s still staring until Ronan catches his eye again. He hurriedly glances out of the window; he’s got nothing to be embarrassed about anyway. Ronan’s chair is tilted back so far that he’s practically in Adam’s space as it is, but he can still feel Ronan’s eyes on him.

“Put your chair down, Ronan, you’ll break your neck,” says a voice, and Adam looks around to see Richard taking his seat next to Ronan.

Ronan instantly does as he’s told and faces back towards the front of the classroom, and Adam wonders at that easy acquiescence in the light of the encounter he just witnessed with Tad. But then the teacher is calling for everyone’s attention once again, and Adam pushes it to the back of his mind.

He’s not here to make friends. And he’s definitely not here to get distracted by angry hot boys.

Definitely not.

[treebananas]

Tale As Old As Time

Whoo y'all this fic took a lot out of me, but it is definitely one of my favorites that I've ever written.

Disclaimer: I do not own Maggie Steifvaters characters nor do I own any of the beauty and the beast plot. I've used lyrics from the songs, lines from the script, and a description for the beast, but they are not mine, they are the beauty and the beast production teams.

Summary: beauty and the beast au where Adam is belle, Ronan is the beast, blue is Maurice, and tad is gaston. Pynch week day 2: musical au Adam/Belle POV

Word count: 5507

Adam Parrish and Blue Sargent lived together in a small village in the town of Henrietta, Virginia. The two are the closest thing to family that they have. Blue had family, but left to pursue her own life. They worked together perfectly because they had a mutual interest in making things. Blue made clothes while Adam made inventions. The provincial village disliked the two of them and called them funny. Adam guessed they were. The village people and Adam and Blue had different views on living in general. They didn't like how Blue spoke her mind and wasn't as clean cut as the rest of the women. Blue wasn't a slave to her husband and she loved being single. Adam on the other hand needed to be more demanding in the people's eye. He has to be with Blue in a romantic relationship because living together without any relationship was sinful. Adam and Blue liked their situation because it suited them. Adam would never complain about the hateful town. It was heaven compared to his old life. The village people couldn't see that. They were uptight and rigid and their opinions couldn't be swayed, but the rent was cheap.

Adam started another long day by going into the crowded marketplace for the morning chores, but Adam had an early morning and Blue was working on a design for a fashion fair. The marketplace wasn't as bad this morning as it usually was. He could deal with the whispers and gossip that floods the streets as long as he could get his hands on his favorite book, Alice in Wonderland. Something about the book gives him the sense of childhood he had ruined for him.

Adam returned back to the cottage in about two hours with clean clothes, food for two days, and his favorite book.

He called out, “Blue, I'm home!”

He heard a returning, “I'm in the workshop. I need your help.” and ran to the room.

The workshop was the biggest and most important room in the house besides the room that Blue and Adam share for a bedroom. It's as colorful on Blues side as it is gray and monochrome on Adams side. It's full of the most useful invention and stylish clothing; it's also filled with impractical shit and hideous choices of colors. Blue and Adam worked side by side in this space creating the most marvelous goods. They would trade comments, test products, and listen to music through one of Adam's inventions as they worked.

Adam moved over to Blue’s colorful work table to see what she was working on. Blue was using one of Adams most effective inventions. It was a machine that did the sewing for Blue, so all she had to do was put fabric in and she could manipulate it to her desire.

“This ducking machine stopped working.” She barked.

Adam sorted and put the white thread in the right place and turned the wheel slightly. The foot moved briskly up and down placing the stitches in the right place.

She mumbled, “thank you,” and got back to work.

The clothing piece was turning out stunning; the colors were meshing together perfectly and made the piece tell a story.

Adam was brought out of his reverie by a knock on the front door. He jumped back and went to see who would interacts with ‘the crazies.’ At the door was Tad Carruthers, the town's most handsome bachelor, who had his eyes on Adam since Adam came into this village. Adam rolled his eyes secretly, but he let Tad in. Adam stood in the doorway, so Tad couldn't walk into the cottage.

He mustered the biggest, most fake smile and said, “Tad, what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Isn't it though.” Tad boasted. “Such a pleasure.”

Adam held back the scowl making its way onto his face and instead insisted, “It's always nice to have some conversation, but if it's not important, I have to get back to my inventions-”

“What are your thoughts on marriage?” Tad blurted.

Adam knew where this was going, but his eyes still bulged, “Marriage?”

“Yes, a handsome guy like yourself must have had thoughts about it. You are always thinking.”

“I can't say I've thought too much. All I have to say about it is that it will be at the right time and with the right person.”

“You're young, I'm young. What's a more perfect time?”

“Is this your way of asking me to marry you?”

So you are as dense as the village people say you are. Yes, Adam, I'm asking you to marry me.”

“Tad, I..I just don't deserve you.”

“The only other person that deserves me is me. You're a close second.”

“I'm sorry, I just can't.” Adam said, pushing Tad out the door.

When Adam told Blue this, she cried laughing.

“Could you imagine? He asked me to marry him. Me! The husband of that boorish, brainless…”

“Mister Carruthers!” Adam picked up a piece of some fabric laying around and draped it over his head. “Can't you just see it?!”

“Mister Carruthers!” He picked up a piece of scrap metal and pretend-shot it like a bow, “His other half!”

“No, Blue! Not me ! I guarantee it! I want much more than this bigoted life!”

He sighed, “I just want a different life than the village people, including Tad have planned.”

Blue exhaled and nodded, “Once I go to this fair, I'll be picked up by a fashion company and we can finally move to a better place with no snobs or fucking Tads. We can just..be.”

@    @   @

Blue left the next morning with her designs and a cart made of entirely Adams creation. It had everything Blue needed.

“It's just a few days,” Blue said as they hugged. “I'll be back before you know it.”

That was five days ago. Needless to say, Adam was worried. Sometimes Blue would stay a couple extra days if she liked the town or city, but they had an agreement to not stay five or more days. Adam decided to get out of the house and distract his mind from his anxious thoughts.

In the distance, he heard a horse whinnying. His eyes caught Gwenllian, Blue and Adams horse. Blue took Gwen to her fair and had Gwen pull the cart. Gwen wasn't connected to the cart or the harness appeared to be broken. She was waking up the entire village with how loud she was.

“Woah, girl calm down.” Adam tried to comfort, “Is Blue alright?”

At the sound of Blues name, Gwen cried out. Fear crept upon Adam.

Quickly, he said, “Alright, take me to her.”

He mounted Gwen and she took off galloping. She brought him last the village walls and into the deep forests that surround the town. She ran Blue normal path out of the woods until she turned a smaller, unknown path which took them deeper into the woods. Adam swore he could hear wolves howling in the distance. Through the woods, was a clearing. A huge, gray building was peering through the leaves. As they approached the building, Adam saw the turrets and grand steps. Not a regular building. Around the clearing all the trees and shrubbery was brittle and dry. Any architect would gape at the angles and smooth edges; Adam could draw it everyday and still find some new part of the exterior. Adams has dropped as Gwen continued to the castle.

“Wait here.” Adam told Gwen as he walked up to the unnerving castle steps.

He walked through the large door and called out, “Blue!”

He heard whispering around the main floor. Then, he heard coughing coming from a wing of the castle.

“Blue!” He screamed as he grabbed a neat candelabra and raced to the noise.

When he finally saw Blue, he saw the jail cell and threw himself down to meet her face.

She looked at him with a confused look on her face, “Adam?”

“Blue, I'm here. I'll get you out.”

“No, Adam. You have to get out of here and go home; forget about me. Quick, before he sees you!”

“Who sees me?”

A gruff voice called out, “What are you doing here?!”

A growl came from Adam's front left where he suspected the thing was lurking.”

“Let my friend go!” Adam demanded.

“Then who would pay her crimes?” The creature growled, “unless you would want to take her place.”

Silence came as Adam thought. “Come into the light.” He instructed.

Thee thing scoffed, but did as it was told. When the creature was illuminated, Adam saw the most hideous mix of a lion, buffalo, gorilla, boar, wolf, and beat. Adam flinched back, closing his eyes and reopening.

Adam mustered up his courage and clearly said. “Yes.”

Beside him, Blue cried, “Adam, no!”

“It is done.” The beast told, as he threw Adam in the cell and grabbed Blue.

“Don't hurt her!” He exclaimed, but it was no use.

He looked around at the cell walls and bars. This is where he would live forever. In his mind, Adam knew he should be rethinking his decisions, but he couldn't find one regret. Adam just hoped that there was a least a tiny bit of humanity in the talking creature that he would give Adam food. Unfortunately, it was fruitless to hope. These four walls were Adams future.

@   @   @

Adam woke up to sounds of creaky doors. This wasn't a dream. Adam thought to himself. He followed the sounds he heard and saw an open door, but no human to open it.

“Down here!”

Adam looked down to see the candelabra he picked up last night and a clock. He jumped back and screamed. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

“What the fuck?” He muttered.

“Name’s Henry, this is Noah. We're here to show you to your room.”

“Ronan's not gonna like this.”

“How is this possible?”

“A heartbroken warlock.”

“We can't tell you more.”

“My room?”

“Did you really think we weren't going to give you a room?”

“No?”

“Ronan might not like it, but we’ll just sick Gansey on him.”

Henry and Noah showed him to the east wing of the castle. They told him it was Adam’s bedroom. His bedroom was a beautiful room that could fit five of Blue and Adams workshops. The decor was simple, a desk, wardrobe, and huge bed. It was a room fit for a duke.

“While you're here.” Noah spoke. “Know that some objects are cursed people, the wardrobe including.” And with that they left.

Curious to what Noah was saying, Adam sauntered over to the wardrobe. It was fancy and delicate plastered with the mint green theme of the room. Hesitantly, Adam knocked on its wooden doors. It sprung to life. One half seemed to shine like a sunshine. The other side stayed prim and proper.

A teenage boys voice filtered through one of the doors, “A human? Finally, it's been getting lonely.”

A silky smooth voice like the beasts carried through the other half, “Really? I'm having trouble believing that you're lonely when we share a wardrobe and have for gen years.”

“Shut up, Declan.”

“Matthew where are you're manners?”

“Up my wooden ass.”

“Matthew!”

“It's so nice to see something that has actual skin.”

Adam cleared his throat, “Well, that Beast is holding me prisoner forever, so you'll see me a lot.”

“I swear to g-d when I'm human again. I'll be the first to punch him.”

“Declan! Get in line.”

Adam cleared his throat again, “I have to ask, why are y'all cursed?”

“We can't tell you. Only Ronan can.”

“I'm Declan, the oldest brother and heir to the throne. My other half is Matthew, the youngest child and literal sun. Ronan, as you call the Beast, is the middle child.”

“Trust me, Ronan is just easily angered. He’all calm down.”

As in cue, loud banging shook Adams room. The beasts loud voice followed, “Get the fuck downstairs for dinner.”

Adam called out a response, “I'm not hungry.”

A moment of silence, then a sign, “will you come down for dinner?”

“No”

“I...would...love if you could...come down for dinner...please.”

“No, thank you.”

“Fine, then go hungry for all I care. If he doesn't eat with me, he doesn't eat at all.”

@   @  @

Moments later silent tears still ran down Adams face. Part of him wished to run after the beast and beg for forgiveness and maybe that way, the beast might take mercy and let her go. He knew he couldn't think about life back home with Blue, but his mind wandered. How was Blue? Was she thinking of him? Did she miss him as much as he miss her? He also thought to what Blue would do in his situation. The answer was quite clear. He had to find something good in this tragic place even if his home, his heart was too far away. He would also have to build walls around himself. He could do this for Blue as long as she was home and free.

A knock at his door startled him. In strolled a teapot and teacup on a cart.

The teapot spoke with a politicians voice, “Would you like a cup of tea?”

Adam smiled, “That would be lovely.”

The teapot poured itself into the teacup. Adam lifted the teacup to his face and took a sip. The tea warmed all the way to his heart and chest. On its way down, Adam heard an inhumane noise erupt out of the teacup. He looked closely and saw a face adorned on the teacup.

“That was such a brace thing you did for your friend.” The teapot admitted. “We all think so.”

“I like you! I'm Opal!” The teacup screeched.

The teapot and Adam laughed. “I'm Gansey.”

“And I'm Adam.”

“Say Adam how would you like some dinner?”

“But what about ‘if he doesn't eat with me, she doesn't eat at all.’”

Ganseys look said it all. The three headed downstairs awaiting the dinner.

@.  @.  @.

Adam walked down the grand stairs with Gansey and Opal by his side. They led him into a ginormous dining room where the chair pulled out and tucked Adam in by itself. On the table was Henry and Noah.

Henry spoke, “Ah Adam! What an honor it is for you to join us this evening. Now watch as the dining room proudly presents your dinner! Please dig in. Be our guest!”

Dinner was a long affair. Music filtered out of the piano in the corner and Henry and Noah did a dance routine that was wonderfully choreographed. Every so often, Noah would remind them to quiet down, so Rona didn't hear. The occupants made an amazing meal with a mysterious gray stuff that melted in Adams mouth. The food made Adam sleepy and full. Adam mentioned to Gansey that he wanted a tour of the castle before bed. Noah called off dinner immediately and went to join the group for the tour. Henry put on his best tour guide voice and showed Adam the library and lower parts of the castle.

When the reached a certain room, Gansey took over and asked, “Say Adam, what do you know about Welsh Kings?”

@.  @.  @.

At some point during the tour, the objects made intense eye contact, but did not mention the huge staircase leading up to the wing. Adam asked about the bathrooms and when he saw the objects turn, he ran.

The wing was dark gloomy. It was covered in cobwebs, ripped clothing, and claw marks. There were pictures along the walls, but only one Adam could make out what the picture depicted. It was a man and women with three children all in royal outfits and huge smiles. The man and two oldest children had black slicked back hair and features that could cut glass. The women and youngest child had unruly, but flowing blonde curls and soft faces. The whole family shared striking, clear blue eyes that matched the beasts eyes. Over the middle childs face were long, deep, slash marks.

Adam moved to the center of the room where the moonlight hit a pedestal that held a mirror and glass case. In the mirror, Adam saw his face clear as day. He saw something move, but nothing was there. In the glass case was a raven with the feathers falling off. At the bottom were several of the black feathers. He saw that the raven did not have many feathers left.

The Beast appeared suddenly and screamed at Adam, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU COULD OF DONE?! YOU COULD OF DAMNED US ALL!! LEAVE, GET OUT!!”

The beast lunged at Adam, then observed the glass case. Adam screamed and ran. He high failed out of the west wing and bolted down the stairs to the door ignoring the screams from Gansey, Henry, and Noah.

He ran out of the haunted castle and rode Gwen into the thick woods. He was surrounded by trees and the pitch blackness of night. He didn't get very far when he stopped and heard the howling of the wolves. Their growls came from every direction and he knew he was screwed. He grabbed a stick as a weapon just as the first wolf attacked. He fought them as best he could, but he was outnumbered. He heard a deeper, more threatening growl and his first thought was shit more of them, but Adam was wrong. It was not more wolves, for it was the Beast coming to Adams rescue. There was the Beast, there was Ronan coming to protect Adam. Adam tried to help, but Ronan's growl at him told him to stay away. He took on several at once, throwing them away as if they were nothing. He finished 15 with ease, but the next wolf got a cheap shot at Ronan. He yelled out before finishing the rest of the wolves. Adam and him stared at each other over the piles of unconscious wolves. Adam was about to say something before Ronan's eyes became half lidded and he collapsed. Adam glanced at Gwen, then back at Ronan. He looked so vulnerable laying there in the cold snow. His wound was bleeding and he would die if Adam left him without help.

He crouched by Ronan's side and whispered, “I need your help. I need you to stand.”

Ronan shakingly obeyed and together they got Ronan on Gwen's back.

Together they would make it back to the castle.

@. @. @.

“Ow!”

“Stop fucking moving!”

“You're hurting me!”

“Well, I'm sorry, tough guy, but suck it up. And stop moving!”

Ronan pouts but hands his arm back to Adam. Adam looks at him, but applies water to his cuts anyways.

Ronan hisses and snatches his arm away, “This never would've happened if you hadn't run away.”

“I never would have run away if you hadn't of frightened me.” Adam said back.

“Well, you shouldn't have been in the west wing.”

“Well, you should learn to control your temper.”

Ronan humpfed  and turned over, showing Adam has wounded back. Adam got more water to clean them, but decided against it. He rings out the water and stands.

“I think we should all get some rest. See you tomorrow.”

Adam is almost out the door before he hears Ronan calling him.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Adam smiles, nods, and walks back to his room.

@. @. @.

Days turned to months and Adam was still a prisoner at the castle. The days at the castle weren't as bad as to be expected. Ever since the wolf attack, Ronan hadn't been as hostile towards Adam. He could keep a conversation with Adam and they spent most meals together. Ronan was acting slightly more human like everyday. He would sit on chairs like a person and he and Adam made a compromise to sip from the bowl instead of attacking it or eating with a spoon. Adam would sometimes bring books from the library and read them during dinner.

Adam was delighted when he found Alice in Wonderland in the shelves. He brought it to the table and when Gansey came over to talk to Ronan, he pulled it out. He started reading from the beginning.

Ronan saw what Adam was reading and dropped his cup on the ground. Gansey ran to get someone to clean up the spill.

Adam asked, “Have you read this book before?”

“Alice was beginning to get very tired from sitting by the bank with her sister, and having nothing to do: once or twice she peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations on it…” Ronan recited.

Adams mouth gaped open. “You know it by heart?”

Ronan nodded, “It was my father's favorite. I used to go into your room and read it to Matthew and Declan because they couldn't read it anymore.”

And that was it.

One night, Adam came downstairs in some garments Matthew and Declan forced him in to find Ronan waiting at the bottom of the steps talking to Henry, Noah, and Gansey, but stopped at Adams arrival.

Henry whispered something to Ronan which he replied, “it's red?”

Henry and Noah groaned and Henry whispered something else in his ear. Ronan's eyes widened before nodding.

Ronan stepped closer to Adam, “Parrish you look...um...good. Nice red suit.”

Adam laughed, “Thank you, Lynch.”

The two lad shared more personal details together such as last names, but why the castle was cursed, Adam did not know.

Ronan cleared his throat, “Come on, Parrish, there's something I wanted to show you.”

They walked for fifteen minutes down an area of the castle Adam hadn't seen before which was surprising because exploring the castle had been Adam's new found hobby. The hallways looked like the rest of the hallways did, gray and slightly creepy. They turned into a room and Adam let out a gasp. It was an engineering workshop that put Adam and Blue workshop to shame. In the far corner, were engineering books and on the other wall were so many tools that Adam hadn't even heard of some of them.

“My father used to hire inventors to make sure the castle had the latest technology. No one ever uses it anymore, so it's yours.” Ronan broke the silence.

“Mine?” Ronan nodded, “you rarely talk about your parents. Are they some object I've never met before?”

Ronan's face dropped. “No...they died before the curse happened.”

Adam pulled out some of the chairs from the workshops tables, “Im so sorry. I never asked you, how did the curse happen?”

Ronan sat down and his shoulders dropped, “it was my fault. After my parents died, I was depressed. I shaved my hair, obtained some new scars on my wrists, fought with Declan. I was a mess. The only people who could me from not ending my life were Gansey, Matthew, Noah, and Henry, but I started talking to a commoner from another kingdom. His name was Joseph Kavinsky. We would meet up street race, drink, and would sometimes fuck. I thought it was no strings attached, but he didn't. He-he fell in love with me and I told him I didn't love him and that he was just a coping mechanism. I never knew he was a warlock. He told me he would place a curse on my castle and all who lived inside it, so I would be as heartbroken as I made him. If I find who loves me and actually loves me, then the curse would be broken. If I don't find someone who by the time the last feather falls from the raven, then everyone I love turns to antiques and I remain a beast.”

Adam was left breathless, “So that's why you got so mad at me when I was in the west wing. Ronan...I'm so sorry.”

Ronan clicked his tongue. “Nothing for you to be sorry over. It's not your fault.”

“It's not your fault either.”

“Parrish.”

“I mean unrequited love sucks, but that's no reason to curse an entire castle.”

Ronan smiled a real and genuine smile unlike his usually smirks that Adam had gotten used to. A moment passed between them where they just stared at each other smiling.

“Wanna make use of the ballroom tonight?” Ronan asked.

“Like dancing?” Adam questioned.

“You can say no.”

Adam thought for a moment. “Id like that.”

@. @. @.

The castle was filled with a sweet presence that came with a ballroom dance. Everyone was excited for the twos dance.

Matthew and Declan dressed Adam in the most amazing silk suit. Blue would have appreciated the yellow color. He felt confident in the form-fitting garment.

He felt flutters when he walked down the steps leading to the first floor. His breath stopped as he saw Ronan on the opposite set of stairs. Ronan's outfit fit him snug and he looked lost until his eyes met Adams. They walked down the steps maintaining eye contact. Ronan outstretched his arm and met Adams.

Music led them to the royal bedroom where Gansey, Noah, and Henry were waiting for them.

Ronan drew Adam into his arms as Gansey started singing. His voice was a little shaky from misuse, but accompanied the dance perfectly.

Ronan certainly knew how to dance from his royal days, but was surprised to learn Adam knew how to dance as well. They moved together in perfect rhythm.

There were stepped on feet and apologetic glances, but overall the night went perfect. The two moved to the balcony to get some air as Henry and his lover Jiang took to the floor and danced the night away.

Ronan let out a breath, “I haven't danced like that in years.”

Adam laughed. “Me either. When Blue and I first moved in together, she thought it was outrageous that I never learned to dance, so she taught me.”

“Do you miss her, Blue?” Ronan asked.

“More than anything. She was my first friend before all this happened.”

Ronan was silent for a moment before continuing, “There is a way to see her.”

“There is?”

“Yeah.” Ronan pulled out the plain mirror and handed it to Adam.

“Show me Blue.”

The mirrors glass shimmered away to show Blue being shoved into a black carriage, the villagers surrounding her with fire, Tad at front.

“Oh my g-d!” Adam shrieked. “Blue in trouble.”

Ronan took a deep breath in, “then you should go to her.”

“I should?”

“She needs help.”

“But what about…”

“You're not a prisoner here, Adam. You haven't been in a long time.”

“But…”

“But nothing. Go.”

Adam reached to give the mirror back. “No. Take it with you so you'll always have a way to look back and remember me.”

Tears welled up in Adams eyes, “I could never forget you.” He leaned forward and kissed Ronan on the cheek, “I'm coming Blue, don't worry.”

@. @. @.  

Adam heard Tads booming voice as soon as Adam entered the village. He seemed to be ruling the people up with his harsh words and thunderous voice. The people were following him blindly.

“Tad!” Adam screamed.

Tad let out a giddy smile at Adam arrival. It quickly turned mischievous in a split second, “Adam! It's so good to see you. I'm so sorry to hear about Blue.”

Adam furrowed his brows, “what about Blue?”

Tad put on a mask of remorse. “Blue went off the rails. You weren't here, so I took care of it. She'll be staying in a nice room at Monsieur Blacks asylum.”

“Blue isn't crazy; she's one of the most sane person I know.” Adam scoffed.

Tad whimpered in pity for Adam; the crowd followed. “But she is. She kept raving on and on about a beast.”

“But there is a beast.”

Tad sighed, “not you too.”

“And I can prove it.” Adam held up the mirror. “Show me the beast.”

Ronan's image flickered on the glass. When Adam showed Ronan, the village people gasped in fear.

“Is he dangerous?” One village person shrieked.

Adam replied almost immediately, “No he's very sensitive and gentle once you get to know him.”

Tad looked scandalized. “If I didn't know better, I'd say you have feelings for him.”

“You don't know me well enough to say that truthfully.” Adam retorted.

Tad sneered, “I may not, but I know monsters like that.” He turned to the crowd. “He’ll make off with your children, he’ll come after them in the night. I say we kill the beast.”

The crowd screamed approval while Adam screamed no.

Tad raised his hands up. “It's time to follow me.”

The village people grabbed torches and anything they could use as weapons. Some said prayers before they all took off towards the dark castle.

As soon as the last village was out of sight, Adam ran towards Blue who they forgotten about in the chaos. He threw his arms around her.

“Blue, I have to go warn Ronan.”

“Not without me you won't.”

@. @. @.

They arrived in the middle of the battle, objects vs people. Blue told him that she was going to help the castle and that he should go find the beast. He ran to the west wing as fast as he could in his yellow suit, dodging thrown plates, shovels, and miscellaneous objects. Adams heart was vibrating. What if he was too late?

He made it in time to see Tad leaning over Ronan, dagger in hand. Whatever he was saying to Ronan seemed to be the most painful thing Ronan ever heard. He looked like he was surrendering to Tads knife.

“Ronan!” Adam yelled.

Ronan opened his eyes. “Adam?”

Tad smiled murderously. “Adam! Just in time to see your lovely beast die.”

Ronan and Adam reached for each other as Tad plunged his knife into Ronan's chest.

“No!” Adam sobbed.

Tad took a step to the edge of the balcony to shadow over Ronan. Adam ran, knees buckling, and pulled Ronan's head into his lap.

Tad laughed, throwing his head back, “this is your fault Adam. If you had just married me, your precious Ronan would still be alive. Isn't it just a shame when things don't go exactly as planned?”

Tad laughed and laughed. He was laughing so much he didn't realize his feet went over the edge. Tad roared as he fell his death.

The two, finally left in privacy, stared at each other, tears running down Adams face. Ronan moved his paw to brush away the tears.

“You came back.” Ronan breathed.

“I wished I never left you.” Adam confessed.

“Maybe it's better this way.”

“Stop talking. Conserve your energy.”

“At least I got to see you one last time. Adam I…”

“Ronan? Ronan?”

Adam sobbed into Ronan matted fur.

“Ronan! Don't leave me! You're my home! I...I Love you!”

The castle grew eerily silent. Adam didn't see the last feather fall from the raven from his place in Ronan's chest.

He did see when a bright light washed over Ronan's body. It grew so bright that Adam had to look away. When he opened his eyes, he was met with a man dressed in a loose white dress shirt back tattoos and muscles visible. The man stared at his arms and sobbed with relief. He turned around and Adam could see his entire body. Adam lost his breath. He was by far the most gorgeous man Adam had ever seen, but where had he come from and where was Ronan?

He stepped closer to Adam and Adams stomach dropped. “Adam, look into my eyes.”

Adam did and was met with the most clear water blue. They were so bright, the punched a hole right through Adams guy just like…

“Ronan?” Adam gasped.

Ronan nodded and smiled so bright Adam had to smile back. Adam placed his hands on Ronan's snatched cheeks and looked into his eyes in awe. Tears sprang into his eyes for the third time that night, but this time Ronan cried with him.

Ronan moved closer to Adam, “May I?”

Adam laughed, but nodded.

They came at each other fast until their lips touched each other's. The kiss was chaste and gentle as if they were afraid to break one another. Adam could feel Ronan's tears mixing with his own. When they separated, their foreheads stayed glued shut and they nuzzled noses. They laughed again and hugged almost as a promise to never let go.

@. @. @.

They eventually made it downstairs to be greeted by Blue and villagers now remembering their beloved prince. Ronan and Adam were ambushed by human Gansey, Henry, Noah, and Jiang who pulled them into tight hugs. Opal announced her presence by letting out a inhumane noise and keeping into Ronan's arms. She was followed by Matthew who tackled Ronan's middle and Declan who ruffled Ronan's nonexistent hair. Adam pretended not to notice the looks Gansey and Blue were exchanging before going in to kiss his beautiful, human boyfriend.