#stratos! etho

[grayleees]

STRATOS! ETHO BC I MISS THE BOAT BOYS + hermes and a lil toy guy

[axiekyouraku]

I’ve found the Etho stratos art I was thinking of- here’s the link to their twitter! I need a boatboys reunion! 😩

[insomnya777]

so so normal about your au,,, so I drew joel plus gay people !!

OMG???? i love this!!1!!1!2!1!1

[catmaidetho]

let this ask serve as a reminder to follow up on that post about joel and his gold digger husband. I'm intrigued should you have more to add --made-nondescript

TY FOR THE REMINDER. basically my idea can be summarized as "etho joining stratos would be a horrible but incredibly funny idea."

boat boys dynamic... but joel is a god and etho is. well. etho. stratos uses gold as an accent in building, and joel as he tours his pretty new husband around is like "yeah 😏 im super rich and strong and powerful" and etho is just like "🔍 joel where is the gold"

etho being generally unimpressed by stratos's "supposed riches." "you call this a gilded city? YOUR SOLID SPHERE OF GOLD GOT FREAKIN' STOLEN." "hey, finding gold is difficult" "no, its not, you can literally farm it. do you want me to build you a farm? are you that pathetic of a god?" and other conversations like that. etho thinks joel should build out of beehives to up his opulence. "c'mon, they go well with gold, and are really rare."

etho likes to steal the exports to do trades of his own, and is on pretty good terms with jimmy (which annoys joel a lot). he doesnt even get things that joel might find useful, he just wants to hoard resources. "etho, where did all the moss go?" "uh. i magically turned it into several dozen stacks of gunpowder?" "ETHO. I NEEDED TO BUILD WITH THAT." "it's fiiine! think about how many rockets we can make now!"

etho also improves the farms of stratos a lot. joel doesnt understand the fancy storage systems he sets up, he just decorates them.

ALSO. etho defintiely claims he is canonically twelve feet tall. just to make fun of joel. "no you're not" "yes i am, i am looking down at you right now" "THAT'S NOT FAIR"

uncle etho to little hermes. he is a horrible influence. he teaches hermes how to make traps, and when given the task of bringing hermes to daddy sausage he absolutely leaves him with tripwire and redstone and tnt. "go blow something up, kiddo!!" hermes destroys sanctuary's wheat fields once, and etho is now banned from chaperoning hermes between empires. "come on, it was funny :/"

despite everything, tho, they do get along, just in a way that absolutely no one understands.

[mcyt-rarepair-tournament]

I know Jizztho is mainly focusing on Joel&Etho Soulbound + Empires!Lizzie, but hear me out.

Fish goddess and God of Stratos fighting it out over a mortal while simultaneously being married.

(im sorry to the ethogirlies for not having much to say about him I genuinely don't remember where he was in empires)

^

[bananasofthorns]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Bdubs doesn’t linger very long after Gem leaves even though he clearly wants to. As soon as Etho’s sure he’s not coming back, he sits down cross-legged next to the fireplace and pulls Joel’s note out of his inventory. The paper has the distinct feel of something handmade; it’s nice, but not as perfect as it would be if it had been mass-produced at a farm or something. Etho likes the rough feel of it beneath his hands.

For a moment, he just stares at it.

He’s not scared. It’s just...okay, maybe he’s a little apprehensive. He probably shouldn’t be; Joel’s nice. And he clearly cared enough to send a note with Gem all the way from...wherever he is now. Empires, Etho thinks? He’s not sure.

That’s not the important thing here. What’s important is that the last time they saw each other, they were soulbound even as ghosts, and even now, weeks later, Etho still finds himself glancing over his shoulder or calling out a warning before he catches himself. Which is weird, right? He barely knew Joel before all this.

...but also, he reasons, all this is kind of a big deal. Probably. He feels like other people would consider a third run of a death game a big deal. And he’s currently holding a paper that Gem said was from Joel, so—

He opens the letter.

Etho, it starts, in Joel’s scrawled handwriting that Etho recognizes from the few notes he’d left around their base before it burnt. Hi.

This is weird. I don’t write letters very often. Gem said this would be easier than just telling her something to tell you. She’s probably right.

Don’t tell her I said that.

How are you? I’m doing pretty well. There’s a part that was scribbled out; Etho squints, but he can’t make out more than the word “you.” Next to it says, Been building lots.

I was going to message you the other day before realizing I never saved your contact. I’m guessing you don’t have mine, either. Well, now you do! Congrats. There’s a short line of code written out that Etho guesses is what he’ll have to enter into his comm to get Joel’s contact. He doesn’t think he’s ever actually done that with anyone before. Huh.

Hopefully that works. If not, you can just send another letter along with Gem or something and we’ll figure something else out.

Talk to you soon, I hope.

Beneath that is a scribble that Etho’s pretty sure is Joel’s signature. He assumes that’s what it is, at least. It kind of just looks like a long scribble. He can kind of make out a J, or maybe an S. Joel has a really bad signature.

Etho stares down at the letter.

“Well,” he says, lips curling into a soft smile.

He enters the line of code into his comm. It only takes a handful of seconds for it to load, but he doesn’t exhale until Joel’s name appears in his contacts.

Etho whispered to Smallishbeans: hey hey Etho whispered to Smallishbeans: did it work?

It only takes a few moments for Joel to respond.

Smallishbeans whispered to Etho: holy hsit

A second later, Etho’s comm starts buzzing. He picks up the call before it’s rung twice.

“Hey,” he laughs.

“That actually worked,” Joel breathes, delighted. “Oh my gods.” He pauses. “Hi, by the way.”

Etho smiles, leaning back against the fireplace with his comm tucked against his ear. “Hi. How’re you?”

Joel hums. “Good. Busy. I’ve got an entire empire to run, you know.”

“Really?” Etho was right about Empires, then.

“Mhm. Stratos. I’m building floating islands this time, which is super annoying to do. But it’s coming along really well so far.” Joel pauses. “Oh, and I’m a god now. Super strong and powerful and sexy and tall.”

“Really?” Etho repeats. “All that.”

“Why’d you say it like that?!”

“I don’t know about tall,” he teases, trailing off to let Joel’s indignant noises fill the silence. “I had at least six inches on you, last time I checked.”

“Well now I’m eleven foot. Beat that. I bet you can’t, huh?”

Etho laughs. “Are you serious?”

“Wh— of course I’m serious, Etho! Why would I lie about being eleven foot?”

“I don’t know....” he says, grinning when Joel yet again sputters at him. “I’ll believe it when I see it, man.”

“Come visit Empires, then.”

Etho blinks. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“I’m not whitelisted,” he points out. Joel scoffs.

“So? I’ll just get fWhip to whitelist you, then. We did it for Grian last world, it was fun. Except for the time where they killed me.”

Etho hums. It isn’t a hard decision.

“Okay,” he says, warmth curling in his chest when Joel cheers. “When...when are you thinking?”

“Dunno, I’ll have to convince fWhip, first. Give me a few days...? We’re kind of on rocky terms right now, but he’ll get over it. Especially if I bribe him.”

Etho laughs. “Oh, nice.”

“Yeah.”

The conversation lapses into silence for a moment. It’s nice. It reminds Etho of late nights on The Relation. He’s distantly surprised to realize that he misses Double Life. Parts of it, at least.

Maybe he just misses Joel. That would make more sense. Double Life was fun, but also, objectively, a lot of it was bad.

He’s pretty sure he just misses Joel. Man, I’m going soft, he thinks.

Joel clears his throat. “What’ve you been up to?”

“Well, I’m back on Hermitcraft, which is nice,” Etho starts. “I’m living in Bdubs’s basement right now.”

Joel laughs. “Are you really?”

“Mhm. He already had a staircase leading down here, I think it was some sort of worldbuilding thing or something—”

“Lore,” Joel says sagely. Etho grins.

“Yes, exactly. So I just dug into the wall where he didn’t have anything and built my own little area. It’s coming along pretty nicely. I’ve got my chests, and an enchanting area, and a few small farms for flowers and things. Working on getting caught up, since I joined late and everything.”

“It sounds nice. Maybe I can visit someday.”

There’s something wistful in Joel’s tone that says he doesn’t actually think he’ll be able to visit. Etho frowns even though he’s probably right; Hermitcraft has always been pretty closed off from visitors. That doesn’t mean there can’t be exceptions, though.

“Maybe,” he agrees, trying to convey more hope than what Joel had had. He clears his throat. “Bdubs and I had to get a Warden out of here the other day.”

Joel laughs, any trace of disappointment or resignation gone. Etho smiles. Success. 

“What was a Warden doing in your base?”

“Impulse put it there!”

“Ah, I see. fWhip and Pixlriffs tried to do the same thing to me a few days ago. It didn’t go very well.”

“How so?”

“Well, it killed fWhip. And me, a few times. And then I killed Lizzie by accident. It was stuck underground, so they blew up part of my landscaping to get it out. And then we killed it.”

“Oh, nice.”

“What did you do with your Warden?”

“Dropped it down a hole,” Etho says. “It’s still down there, I think. I hear it grumbling every once and a while.”

“Well, that’s one way to do it. Have you tried a fishing rod on it? I tried it on mine, but I’m not sure it worked very well. I couldn’t really see, so.”

“I didn’t, no. Maybe if I want to bother Bdubs one day I’ll see if I can get it back up here. He’d probably kill me, though.”

“Eh. Just kill him first,” Joel points out. “Have the Warden do it for you.”

Etho laughs. “Sure, man. What if he kicks me out? I’d have nowhere to go, it would be so bad.”

Joel scoffs. Etho can perfectly imagine the eye roll that goes with it. “He wouldn’t do that. Are you serious?”

He smiles. “No, I know he wouldn’t.”

The conversation lulls again. Etho is about to say something else - he’s not even sure what, just that he doesn’t want the call to be over yet - when Joel swears suddenly.

“Lizzie!” he shouts, voice distant like he’s away from his comm. “Why are you up here? Stop shooting me!”

Lizzie says something too indistinct for Etho to decipher. Joel groans.

“Sorry, Etho,” he says. “I’ve got to go, Lizzie’s threatening to trample my crops again. Look, I’ll talk to fWhip in a bit and see what he says, okay?”

“Okay,” Etho agrees, ignoring the pang of disappointment in his chest. It’s not like Joel’s leaving forever, he reminds himself; they can still text whenever they want, and they are actively making plans for Etho to visit him. “Say hello to Lizzie for me.”

“You can tell her yourself, she’s right here. Hey!”

Etho pulls the comm away from his ear with a slight grimace as there’s a scuffle.

“Hello!” Lizzie says.

“Hi."

“Joel says goodbye,” she tells him. “I’m going to go steal his comm now. Where should I hide it?”

There’s a distant shout of protest from Joel. Etho laughs.

“I dunno,” he muses. “Maybe somewhere small where he can’t reach. Since he’s so...big and strong, or whatever.”

She snorts. “Oh, is that what he’s telling you? Right. I’ll go do that now. Thanks for the idea!”

The call disconnects. Etho sets his comm down, unable and unwilling to fight a smile. It was nice, getting to talk to Joel again.

Yeah, he’s totally gone soft. Bdubs is never going to let him hear the end of it.

[t4t4tclethian]

i love etho so much. this post was brought to you by joel thundercheeks of stratos and gumybrain

[dmwrites]

“It’s not fair.” Joel muttered to himself. He was watching, not stalking, watching, Jimmy and Tango walking around Tumble Town together, chatting and laughing and looking like they were having a lot of fun. Joel hated fun, more specifically them. So, he flew down from his hiding spot to grouch at them. “Oi! Idiot toy and ice guy! You’re both so annoying!”

“JOEL!” Jimmy yelled, shaking his fist out of instinct.

“Woah, woah, big guy! You can’t talk to Jim like that!” Tango strode forward, frowning and crossing his arms at the god. “What’s got your toga in a bunch, huh?”

“I don’t need a reason to hate, I’m a god and he’s an annoying little toy. And you, ice boy, are his little soulmate, so you too will suffer.” Joel sneered at them.

“Jimmy, you know what?” Tango said thoughtfully. “I think that Joel here is projecting his anger onto us, because Etho didn’t come to visit him.”

Jimmy gasped. “Tango you’re a genius!” He started laughing. “Oh my god, Joel’s jealous!”

“Am not!” Joel said defensively. “I could care less about him, he was just some guy, I would never care what he thinks or why he didn’t come to see me even though you two morons got hang out with each other. I’m not jealous!”

Jimmy and Tango were laughing now, and Joel huffed and puffed at them, feeling how red his face must be. Tango was the first to stop, and spoke again.

“Listen, dude, you’re literally a god! Just, like, summon Etho here or something. I’m sure he’s just in his singleplayer world or something, hasn’t even noticed that the hermits left hermitcraft.”

“He can’t do that, he’s weak! He’s a weak little man!” Jimmy laughs turned into screams when Joel hit him with lightning.

It wasn’t too bad of an idea though, Joel thought as he flew back to Stratos. Perhaps if he prayed to his fellow gods, he could be granted some extra power to jump over to another world, just enough to grab Etho. He hated that Tango had read him like a book, but it was true, he missed his soulmate, and had sulked when he found out that Etho wasn’t among the people that had come through the rift.

“Oh great and powerful Peril.” Joel stood in the peaceful temple he’d built for some god he could hardly remember. And he wasn’t weaker then them, just to be clear, he was just collaborating with the other gods, because he just loved teamwork. “I don’t know if you know, but I once was in a relation ship, like an actual wooden boat that looked so cute, with a guy called Etho. You might know him, he’s kinda a big deal, super mysterious and cool. We were soulmates, I showed him everything he knows, well, you know how it goes. Anyway, I want to bring him here, but I need some-” and here Joel looked around conspiratorially, like someone would be spying on him from the bushes. The only person around was Hermes, who was playing in the water a ways away, “extra power to get him. Could you please help?”

There was a moment of silence, and Joel stood with his head bowed. And then, Joel felt a heaviness enter his skin, and he knew that the prayer had worked. He snapped his fingers, and a portal appeared in midair, rippling in the breeze.

“Hermes! I’ll be right back, son!” Joel called. Hermes looked up and waved. Joel stepped into the portal, closing his eyes and concentrating on Etho, his mask and his laugh and his sarcasm.

And when he opened his eyes again, he was in a field, and there was a man with a shock of white hair with his back to him. He was surrounded by bits of redstone machines, and Joel grinned.

“Honey, I’m home!”

Etho yelped and turned around, pulling out his sword. “Wha- who- hold on, Joel?”

“The one and only!” Joel couldn’t stop smiling.

“What- hold on, hold on. Why are you dressed like that, and why do you have a beard, and, most importantly, why are you here?” Etho cocked his head and approached Joel slowly.

“Listen, we don’t have much time before my extra power gives out.” Joel told him. “Long story short I’m a god now, surprise, and all of your hermit guys came through some rift into empires- you remember empires, right- and you weren’t there and I was upset because the silly toy got his soulmate back- come with me!” Joel grabbed Etho by the arm and dragged him into the portal, giving Etho no time to respond.

They appeared back in Peril’s temple in an instant, and Joel sighed as the heaviness in his skin left him, and the portal vanished. Etho gripped Joel’s arm and looked around.

“Where am I? Did I have some bad mushroom soup or something?”

“No, no, my friend, this is my kingdom, Stratos! I am super cool and hot, I’m a god, baby.” Joel spread his arms so Etho could behold it. “You’re impressed, I can tell.”

Etho’s breathing was slowing, and he let go of Joel. “It was just very sudden, all of this. You know, I was trying to figure out a redstone machine that could invert-”

“Hermes! Come meet your dad’s old fling!” Joel called.

“Dad?” Etho asked, distracted at once. Hermes came running over and waved right into Etho’s face. “Hi there. Is this your father?” Hermes nodded, hugging Joel’s leg for a moment before running off again. “You had a kid?”

“Oh, yes, with Daddy Sausage, it’s a funny story actually, we-”

“Sorry, who?” Etho interrupted, eyebrows raised high, a laugh making his voice crack.

“Oh, shut up.” Joel muttered. “Listen, I did not do all of this just for you to laugh at me for what I call the man I co-parent with. My builds are in the sky and amazing, and I am so tall and hot. Right?”

Etho eyed him over. “Still shorter then me.” He said.

“Etho, I swear!” Joel said, but he couldn’t help but smile. Etho was back with him, and it felt right.

[hermitcrossovers]

Etho can be seen hanging out with Joel on Empires alot, even before the rift and literally noone has found out how he's getting there

A mix of soulmate magic and Etho's universe bending Guy™ness makes it so Etho can always bring himself to any territory Joel claims as his own, the magic has it's limits so if he walks too far away from Joel while outside of Stratos he will be sent back to where he was before going to empires, he can exist in Stratos without Joel, but the whole disappearing when he's to far from him has made Etho a legend among some of the empires. The people of Stratos consider him one of their own, the rest regard him as some sort of entity.

-Mod Jer

[inkkachu]

i just want etho to go through the rift and visit joel in stratos and move into one of the empty buildings so the two of them can prance around and be besties again.

is that to much to ask.

[flyingfisharejustbirds]

i have more ideas for my stratos boat boys au

hermes absolutely adores etho. when ever his dads can’t play with him he always goes to etho who will stop what he’s doing just to give the kid company. etho much to joel’s dismay started teaching hermes redstone. joel didn’t really care about the potential danger (they were gods after all) it was more that he didn’t like that hermes never had interest in building despite his efforts. hermes even started calling etho his third dad. that was a weird thing to have to explain to joel and sausage.

etho and joel’s relation was awkward to say the least. they both wanted to wrap themselves around each other like they had back in double life, but neither had to courage to ask if it was okay. it’s took THREE months for joel to break grabbing etho and pulling him against his chest. desperately pulling ethos mask away so he could kiss him. etho melted into joel’s arms happy that they both were back to where they belong. even if their roles were switched their feelings didn’t.

that’s the end for now but i will be back. next time we’re gonna take a look at what our favorite harem protagonist boy toy is doing!

[axiekyouraku]

So everyone is excited for the possibility of the ranchers being reunited if this Empires/Hermitcraft crossovers happens-

But I don’t see anyone excited of the fact that the boat boys may be reunited as well! Joel and Etho man- I can’t wait for Saturday!

[insomnya777]

time for me to ramble about alley rose by conan gray and my boat boys superhero au :)

you guys asked for this. so. i did it. i'm just cool like that. you're all to blame for this monstrosity. long post incoming!!!!!

okay so. there are so many lines from this song that fit my au, joel and etho specifically (what's happened and what's to come eventually) and i desperately need to talk about it so let's start this off!!

so much to say that's subject-sore, so much you'd change since you were born

this lyric! fits etho and joel both so well. regarding the sore subject part... gosh, i have so much to say. there's so much left unspoken between them, literally at every single point in the series, and they know they need to talk about it, but they don't want to because it'll just ruin both their moods and talking about it makes things so much more serious and official, you know?

the second part — joel grew up in mezalea (which will be talked about later) and he had kind of his whole life planned out for him, and then things went sideways and that whole plan, his whole life really, was ruined; eventually stratos was created. he had so much potential, and it was all just... wasted. etho, on the other hand, grew up in a rougher area of the city he lives in now, and now he's just very far from that lifestyle, just in general. very posh and fancy, even if his apartment isn't, his job sure is (was?)

the way you kissed me, hot and fast i knew it'd be the last

alright so the way i see this lyric is definitely etho's perspective, in the second part of the series. such a long time ago, i know!! but when joel kissed him for the first time, even while it was happening, there was this little part of him that was in disbelief and also completely sure that it would never happen again (so he should better enjoy it while it lasted)

don't leave me hanging alone again

...guys i have so much to say here. this could quite literally be sooo many moments. mostly in etho's pov, i've noticed. he really gets left behind often huh. poor guy.

but, pretty much, this is like when joel leaves him after he kisses him, when joel leaves him in the grocery store after turning his world upside down, when joel leaves him in the park after basically breaking up with him. joel really leaves him alone a lot. wonder what that means for the future. totally not foreshadowing haha.

honourable mention to when etho leaves after apologizing to joel, which then infuriates joel, as you will all see in the next part. but yeah, etho's really sick of being left behind over and over again.

you told me "i'm just so nervous, dear" well, how the hell do you think i feel?

oh this lyric!! also etho pov — this song is so very etho coded. in is it over now? joel is talking about how confused etho makes him all the time when he's all vague and mysterious and stuff, and etho kind of snaps, literally saying the words "how do you think i feel?" so when i heard this lyric in the song my jaw dropped. it was literally made for them. maybe not the nervous part specifically, but definitely the rest.

i waited all year at your feet like maybe you'd love me

alright i'm going to be disclosing some information here that i can't remember whether it has been outwardly said yet or not. but you've probably figured it out or assumed anyways. it's not exactly surprising. so. remember way back when, all the way in diesel is desire, you were playing with fire, joel talks about how etho always lets him go? and never really fights him? goes easy on him, etc? well!! etho had always been amused by joel, ever since the beginning, had always found the way he bickers and teases and flirts and yells very entertaining, to say the least.

this led to him always having a bit of a soft spot for him, being a little biased, even, which was very inconvenient for his job. eventually, that affection turned into a little bit of a crush, which he always refused to acknowledge, then turned into the... mess of feelings he had now. love. maybe not quite love. something else. he doesn't know anymore.

either way, he's nice to joel. too nice. not in the obvious way, not in the way that joel could ever call him out on, but he let him go and did other things that very much could make him lose his position in the agency. which is foolish and idiotic and he somehow never regrets it.

he subconsciously had a little bit of a hope that it would somehow win joel over, just a tiny bit, but, little did he know, it only annoyed joel even more. the idea that someone was going easy on him was enough to effectively make him mad for the rest of the day. so, yeah, you could pretty much say that this line fits them to a T.

and i don't even care if it makes me sound insane

etho, again, surprise surprise. the whole thing about a hero falling in love with a villain, and not just a villain, one of the most wanted villains in the world... all his friends think he's lost his mind. and one of his best friends was also in love with a villain. (not that etho would use the word love. its not- it's not love.)

he can't bring himself to care that they all think he's delusional for falling in love with such a cruel, selfish, arrogant, bad person. because he knows the truth — joel isn't a bad person. he could be cruel (god, he could be cruel) and arrogant, and selfish, and all those other things. but so could etho. so could literally everyone else. they were human. and sure, joel did some... not so good things. but, you know, he could ignore that. most of the time.

besides. joel was funny. and smart. and very, very attractive. and- well, he wasn't nice or kind or sweet, far from it, really, but etho didn't care about that. he kind of liked how mean joel was, actually. which probably meant there was something deeply wrong with etho. but. hey. yolo.

i ran my fingers through your hair and i thanked god to touch the flame

god. this line. banger line. even without relating it to anything. but with relating it to this au.... so much to say here. it's etho again. so etho talking about joel. sooooo etho so so so etho.

first of all, the flame part???? helloooo??? joel literally has fire powers... guys... i can't be the only one freaking out about this........

but back to the rest. honestly, when etho was with joel in his bedroom that day all the way back in the beginning, this lyric is very him. he gets to spend all this time with joel, and he knows he's going to regret it in the future, and that everything that's happening is a bad idea, and that he shouldn't be doing any of this, but when he looks at joel.... all he can feel is lucky that he gets to be there.

cause i swore necks were made for bruising i swore lips were made for lies

finally a joel-coded line! my boy!! gotta say something about the neck part because we all know about joel and necks LMAO.

anyways! this line being in past tense is very interesting to me, even just song-wise. almost like the person is talking about how their thinking has changed since the past, because of some.... event. or someone, even. this is very, very joel, because, as he complains about in the next part, he's gone soft. he used to have this same kind of thinking, this untrusting, suspicious mindset, but things have changed since then. he's got more trust in people. which he hates, for the record.

and i thought if you'd ever leave me that i'd be the reason why

back to etho because gosh i didn't know a line could fit something so well. joel, essentially, "breaks up" (even though they're not together) with etho because of his being a hero. not even for something he does, or some trait of his. if it had been that, if etho had messed up in some way, he would probably have been able to handle things a lot better. but, no, it was about something completely avoidable. something he didn't even really have control over. he's not even the reason joel leaves him.

if it's all experimental and you go back to safer things

joel!!! experimental.... safer things... these word choices are so very deliberate and so very relevant.

experimental — a hero being with a villain isn't exactly a tried and true option. and he's not exactly your regular guy. he's dangerous, reckless, violent, etc. the idea of someone like etho ever even liking him feels so unreal, and not even in, like, a positive way. it just seems impossible. they're so different. the most he can imagine it being is just a little bit of fun, something to keep etho from being bored.

safer things — oh, this makes me want to lose my mind. as i said before, etho being with joel would be anything but safe. not just due to joel's more... explosive (literally) tendencies, but also because the risk of the two of them being found out was very, very real, and would have extremely strong consequences. the idea that etho would choose safer things, like a normal person and a normal life, is very possible and, honestly, very likely, at least in joel's mind.

that's the most lyrics i can relate to my au without it being a bit of a stretch... unfortunately. but i very much recommend you go listen to the song, because even just off the vibes alone, it fits this au sooo well. if you have any other songs that remind you of this au please share im working on a playlist and would love some recs :):):):):))

also! a lot of the parts here are about things to come and things that happened earlier, they don't exactly reflect joel's and etho's thoughts about each other right now, because, well, joel kind of wants to beat etho up at this moment of time. so. yeah. it's either future or past them

anyways. the end. this is a lot longer than i thought it would be but i did have a lot to say, so i'm not very surprised. this also was a lot ramblier (is that a word? like, more ramble-y? it should be a word.) than i expected, but, you know, we ball. at some point i also started writing this as if it were a fic so i don't know what's going on there. this was kind of all over the place. my bad. anyways! hope you enjoyed. this is my first long post here, guys, don't let it flop. begging you.

[swizzy-spoon]

etho on empires because i miss the boat boys so much. not much detail but i could definitely add more to this. mhm mhm

read below the cut if you’re interested in this ramble !

he’s probably based in sausage’s empire somewhere along the edge after much consideration and deciding that a dead end cave system wasn’t going to cut it

speaking of sausage, hermes absolutely loves him. etho isn’t sure what to make of him at first but decides that he’s not so bad after all

hermes is the only child etho can deal with though. can’t say he’s a huge lover of tiny humans. they definitely scare him

obviously he’d never admit that though.

hermes is also the one who encourages etho to visit stratos with him the next time he goes to stay with his other dad. sausage takes them both there after weeks of hermes trying to persuade etho to leave without an excuse as to why he couldn’t go

etho knew joel was there and immediately recognised him despite the new gigantic height difference between them

joel is absolutely ecstatic to see him again but simply shows him to the tavern and gives him a room there at no cost, and leaves him to settle in for a bit

etho is both surprised but glad to see joel again. and absolutely amazed by his empire, of course. stratos is absolutely beautiful after all

he’s not so keen on being shorter than joel though. admittedly, he wished he could mock his height again but he could definitely get used to the tall, handsome god joel now was

takes a few days for both of them to get comfortable with each other and a lot of hermes demanding their attention at the same time

they definitely spend more than a few sunsets on the bridge, just watching the sky darken while they catch up

etho tells him about the statue of pearl sausage is building, and joel complains about the court case against jimmy (leaving out the fact that he definitely lost that)

when etho goes home with hermes two weeks later, he promises to come back and stay the next time

joel creates a whole new island with a new house on for him to stay in and decorate however he pleases on the next visit. a place he can stay in every time and access whenever he needs :)

[faffodil]

everyone in empires au season 2!

Here we go again! For people who haven't seen this before, I've basically sorted a whole bunch of mcyt/adjacents into all the empires in s2, and provided headcanons and reasoning as to why theyre in that empire :D

As always i am open to suggestions/ideas for reasons/changes - just send me an ask!

Similarly, if you want me to add someone who's not there, you can also send me an ask!

Currently includes: Hermitcraft (specifically Season 9), Dream SMP, Bear SMP, Origins SMP, a few of the afterlife guys who arent already in empires, Traffic SMP(s), and a few other misc. mcyts

This will be edited as new information about empires names comes out/i add more people ^^

Key:

Local = person who lives nearby/in what could be considered part of an empire

Citizen = someone who is legally registered as part of an empire

Visitor = somone who is staying there temporarily/does not live in the empire

Inhabitant = lives in an empire but is not yet registered as a citizen

First person in every section is the ruler, but will have their specific title rather than one shared title (updated as the ccs tell us)

Archaeologists arent categorised in the same way as they are nomadic

---Stuff in [square brackets] is referring to an as-of-yet unnamed empire ---

Evermoore:

Shelby - (ruler) - Witch

Boomer - local - frog man :]

Tina - local

George - local

Charlie Slimecicle - local - slimey boi. Literally just a sentient slime. No-one's really sure why he and jevin are sentient but shelby thinks it was probably because the last witch to be sent out here was doing illegal magic (she thinks they were bored to death by the surroundings)

Jevin - local - swamp lad, sentient, see above

Petezahhutt - inhabitant - curious about the sentient slime rumours, wanted to know if they were like him (slime hybrid) they weren't but he stuck around to help them find their feet (literally because they were having trouble keeping a humanoid shape for long periods of time)

Dream - inhabitant - heard about the magic qualities of evermoore and moved there. Shelby thinks hes very brave to be studying the fog, and dream often gets stranded far from home bc the mist is feeling unhelpful

Sanctuary:

Sausage - (ruler)

Ivory - inhabitant - bc shes running away from something

Sniff - citizen - builder

Martyn - inhabitant - sought sanctuary and then proceeded to move in and annoy cleo to no end

Cleo - citizen - has lived here her whole life but is seriously considering moving. Joe is the only thing stopping her. And the fact that snake hair isnt exactly normal y'know

Joe Hills - inhabitant - moved from Stratos but only cleo knows this. Everyone else thinks hes normal :)

Tumble Town:

Jimmy - Sheriff - do i need to say more?

Tango - citizen - owns a ranch outside town :]

Billzo - inhabitant - took refuge from one very angry joey (who thought he was part of skeletrons army) and met eryn. Decided to hang around and cause mischief

Eryn - citizen - family has a farmstead near Tumble Town. Troublemaker

Schlatt - citizen - works in the saloon

Quackity - inhabitant - works with Schlatt

Sapnap - citizen - Eryns brother. I don't quite know why my brain decided that but it has.

Etho - citizen - works on tangos ranch. Used to be an outlaw but tango offered him a job when they met in the sherriffs office. Likes the peace outside of the town.

Sneeg - inhabitant (because no-one knows hes there) - builds little tunnels throughout the terracotta hills

Goblands:

Fwhip - (ruler) - goblin time (is short)

Skeppy - citizen - ore golem, can camouflage himself well in the cave. Fwhip found him in the deep dark and made him a citizen

Bad - inhabitant - from Eversea originally

Impulse - citizen - bc dwarf

Iskall - citizen - bc he's got a cave base this season

Pearl - citizen - she do be skrunkly

Guqqie - citizen - an alien who is desperately trying to blend in with the humans. On one hand no one's gonna notice in the Goblands, but on the other, they're gonna pick up some weird habits from the gremlins

Cub - citizen - chaos Chaos CHAOS

Mumbo - inhabitant - railway expert and infrastructure guy :] which is desperately needed bc Fwhip keeps making dangerous minecart tracks to everywhere

Eversea:

Joey - Captain

xB - citizen - bc guardian hybrid (lives in the lake w the mermaids

Niki - citizen - mermaid, sometimes follows puffy around to the other empire's ports

Puffy - visitor - another captain who frequents the bay. Trader?

Neptune - visitor - on puffy's ship (yes this is the same as last time. If it's not broken don't fix it)

Scar - inhabitant - sells magic crystals at the market. Certified scammer but is allowed to get away with it because he helps design new buildings for joey sometimes.

Micheal(mcchill) - citizen - runs a radio station from the top of one of the mountains overlooking the lagoon. Very rickety and unstable path to get up there but the broadcast can be recieved from any empire

Hypno - citizen

Animalia:

Lizzie - Mayor - Definitely a person. Elected apparently?

Antfrost - citizen - cat.

Ren - citizen - dog. Advisor to lizzie. Also bc last life the beloved

Hbomb - inhabitant - cat. Runs a cafe to draw tourists in! Theres nothing weird about this empire! :3{  <rubbing his hands together maliciously. Favourite pastime is bullying fundy whenever he walks past the cafe

James Marriot - citizen - employee of the cat cafe

Fundy - citizen - fox (and yoghurt :D)

Zedaph - inhabitant - resident scientist. Originally from off the continent but was welcomed into Animalia by lizzie because 'having a scientist proves we're as advanced as the other empires!' Hasn't caught on to the fact that the majority of the kingdom's citizens are straight-up animals and thinks theyre all hybrids like him

CPK - citizen - fox. no relation to fundy but does bond over thier shared dislike for the term fox-load because they can carry more than one block thankyouverymuch lizzie

Aimsey - inhabitant - showed up and was promptly adopted as Animalia's pet human

Archaeologists:

Pixlriffs - in charge of the team, was sent bc none of the other archaeologists wanted anything to do with the rulers over there

Xisuma - a spirit that collects cool bones to live in. Pix discovered him while unearthing an old temple and he's just kind of following the troupe around and being amazed at the world (was sealed in said temple)

EX is also trapped in a similar temple but X is doing everything he can to steer pix away from finding it/unleashing his hurricane of a brother. spoiler - it doesnt work >:D

Ori - a mildly unnerving citizen of Stratos who decided to tag along

Karl - original member of the team - keeps correcting Pix's pronunciation of the long-dead languages, and knows where finds are (or should be) long before a dig starts 👀

Skizz - original member of the team, very enthusiastic

Jack Manifold - intern who's following them around for work experience. Originally from Chromia

Chromia:

Scott - (ruler) - strange strange man

Ranboo - citizen - ive tried to put him elsewhere like four times but brain keeps saying chromia. Will update once i figure out a reason (also now i want ranboo and xornoth to talk) update: have not figured the reason but. hes staying so

Xornoth - backup leader - they found scotts empire and moved in, to his initial chagrin. Still backup ruler despite this because scott didnt trust the llamas to rule in his absence. They like looking after the llamas but kinda just hang around mostly

Wilbur - citizen - colourful language, creative

Stress - citizen - head of the flower industry (that then gets turned into dye for exports)

Beef - inhabitant - in charge of designing colourful fabrics and tapestries, originally from Sanctuary where he learnt banner-making

Hannah - citizen - works in flowers industry

Lauren - citizen - one of Scotts chief advisors, have known each other since they were little kids

[Falses]:

False :) - (ruler) - Her empire is pretty small considering its the newest but its one of the most closely knit communities as they all have to work together to improve the kingdom

Phil - citizen - hardcore survival things seem to fit here. First person to move here. Originally settled a little further downriver but ended up flying to False's area for materials and conversations anyway, and so, later moved into the centre hub of her empire to help her out and save time. DadTM

Tommy - citizen - turned up one day and false was just like well if you want you can build over there, strange bedraggled kid. Tommy did and false immediately regretted it because *cobblestone tower* Phil and False eventually managed to convince tommy to let them make his house look nice but it took a good couple of months.

Bearbubb - inhabitant - False isnt quite sure if hes a person or a literal bear as hes never spoken to anyone, but he seems polite, and built his own house so she let him stay. Although she has firmly decided he doesn't get citizen status until he asks for it. (Bear is just awkward, he'll talk to people eventually)

Sam - citizen - used to wander the server with doc because not many empires were open to hostile mob hybrids living there, then offered to help with a redstone project (an improved iron farm that was being finnicky) as he was passing and decided to stay. Tommy also took a liking to him and he built a base at the bottom of the cliff

Doc - citizen - was traveling with sam, same situation, neither of them wanted to stay in Sanctuary, where they started off, because they were tired of the new inhabitants walking on eggshells around them for months before they got used to them. His base is a pit all the way down to bedrock, affectionately known as The Well (due to its tendency to flood). There are levels all the way up with different redstone machines and storage cupboard on.

Glimmer Grove:

Katherine - princess

Beau - citizen - figured out where princess katherine was sneaking off to at night and made her agree to let beau help fight or she'd tell

Punz - inhabitant - moved from Sanctuary because he heard rumours that mercenaries might be needed. (Was only staying for the pay originally but got a little too invested and asked katherine if he and purpled could stay and help rebuild the empire too. (Will end up as head of defence for princess Katherine in the future but shhh)

Purpled - inhabitant - moved from Sanctuary.  Mildly annoyed that he had to leave his home in sanctuary, but at least the empire matches his colour pallette

Moonzy - citizen

Jonah - citizen - served Glimmer Grove before it fell, is at the forefront of the campaign to get it back to its former glory under princess Katherine

Megan - inhabitant

Dawn:

Gem - princess - fae of some sort

Fruitlegs - citizen - bard

Ponk - citizen - lighthouse keeper

Tubbo - citizen - bee boi

Techno - citizen - oversees the food production and makes sure everyone has enough and works out how much they can sell/export that week.

Welsknight - on Gems Council, in charge of defence against the deep dark

TFC - inhabitant - by proxy, lives in the ancient city and fixes the messes left when players visit. Sculk-grandad. Actually hes literally the opposite of Dawn, lives underground constantly. Warren of tunnels extends underneath all empires but people who try to explore them get lost. Nobody's died there yet bc TFC put a ward on the exits to draw people toward them and not the ancient city

BigB - citizen - baker, he makes bread and cookies from the farm produce

Stratos:

(Extra note here: citizen is someone who has been in the empire since it was founded about a hundred years ago when joel was exiled and/or has grown up there since. Inhabitant is someone who's come more recently from another empire)

Joel - an exiled god - adamant he is still his tall powerful self. Regarded as the leader of the empire nonetheless. People moved under his islands originally to be a part of the 'great god's empire' but a lot of them stayed even when they realised he was a wet rag/affectionate

Foolish and Jr and Finley - citizens - Foosh is an architect who helps Joel. He chose to live in the mortal realm but moved to Stratos when he heard about Joel's exile because he can sympathise with not living in the god's realm and wanted to help out. Hermes ends up playing with Jr and Finley when Joel's busy building

Eret - citizen - was one of the original settlers but somehow is still alive a hundred years later.... oh well, they knew living near a god would have its benefits

Grian - inhabitant - creator of the entity? check. vaguely eldrich horror? check. Was exiled? (very heavily encouraged to leave his hometown) after the entity ate someone by accident, and then he ended up here? Check.

Bdubs - citizen - look into those eyes and tell me he wouldnt fit right in with joels build style. He made a monolith, hed be a great addition

Callahan - citizen - maintains the temples to joel

Thanks to @scribbling-dragon for some of the suggestions!

Keralis - citizen - have you seen him?

Edit: OLI DO BE A BARD :D uhh if he makes an empire ill do a bit of rejigging and move ppl around but until then the skrunkly is just a wanderer

Phew done! :D

[s3afood]

•———————————————•

S2 Empires - Mcyt Citizen

Chromia: LaurenZSide, ZombieCleo, InTheLittleWood

The Gobland: ImpulseSV

Dawn: Keralis, Welsknight

Eversea: CaptainPuffy

GlimmerGrove: Tubbo, Amylee33, Bigbst4tz, IvoryCello

Animalia: Seapeekay, Antfrost, Rendog, Fundy, StampyLongHead, Sqaishey, Yammy_xox

Sanctuary: Ranboo, BdoubleO100, StacyPlays

False’s Empire: MumboJumbo

The Evermoore: WilburSoot, Aimsey, GoodTimesWithScar

Stratos: Etho, Philza

Tumble Town: Grian, TangoTek

Olipoligo: TommyInnit, Nihachu

Wizard Academy’s Students: RIPMika, Strawburry17 (Was Shelby friends when she was enrolled in classes.) Meghan is also Priate Joe’s PenPal.