#sufia | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vergilthelibrarian · 1 year

Text

In God's Name, pt.2

Part 1

It’s been about a month since seeing God. I was still much too afraid to say his name, to even think it.

I was told as a child to never utter his name. I thought it was silly yet even before I saw him, I never said his name. I guess despite my thoughts, a part of me took it seriously. Seriously enough to never even whisper his name.

But seeing as just saying his name made him appear… I understood why we were warned so much.

I looked out my window as I washed the dishes, hearing the sounds children playing along with the rustling of the trees. The sun shone bright in the blue sky which appeared to clear.

It looked beautiful.

“Shit!” I gasped, dropping the knife I was washing. I grabbed my hand, wincing slightly as I looked at the blood that oozed out of my cut. I turned on the water of the faucet, letting the water run over my hands. I turned off the faucet, looking at the cut and seeing that it was small.

I went to the bathroom, cleaning the cut and covered it with a band-aid.

I sighed, staring down at the bathroom sink, my hands gripping the sides, lost in thought.

Ever since seeing the day, I’ve been spacing out. I’ve always had issues with spacing out, I would often get scold for it as a child during service, but this felt different.

I would think back to him. To his blue eyes. There was something about them that I couldn’t stop thinking about. They were piercing and intense, I couldn’t help but think he saw into my very soul when we made eye contact.

I truly believe he did.

Gulping, I looked up into the bathroom mirror, studying my features for a moment.

I’ve been trying my best to forget about that day. What I did was wrong, and I knew when I eventually go back to church, I will be punished, but it was hard to forget.

Sighing once more, I walked out of the bathroom, planning to finish washing the dishes when a knock at my door caught my attention.

I stopped in my tracks, blinking, and changed course to the front door.

Looking through the peephole, I saw Sufia standing at my doorstep with a worried look on her face.

I opened the door.

“Hey Sufia. What are you doing here?” I asked.

“You’re wanted at the church. They didn’t tell me why, but they said that they need you to come immediately.”

Sufia, just like me, would always question God. Why worship a God that needs to be feared, etc. We always got in trouble at the orphanage for questioning God and his love. She was much more fearless though.

Sufia was quiet for a moment.

“Did you see something?” and I knew exactly what she was asking me.

Did I say God’s name.

“I don’t know if I’m allowed to tell you that.” but that in itself was the conformation she needed.

“Let me walk with you.”

The walk to the church was silent. Me and Sufia were close. We were the odd ones out in the orphanage just from how much we would question what we were told. Compared to me, she was much more bold. More outspoken while I was more timid. I would get picked on for being meek by the other kids and Sufia would always come to my rescue like a knight in mud covered armor.

We soon arrived at the church, and I felt my heartbeat pick up slightly.

There were 2 priests who seemed to have been waiting for me outside.

I hesitated walking through the gate entrance.

What was going to happen? Were they going to kill me? Sacrifice me in the name of God? I was beyond terrified.

With a shaky breath, I walked through, Sufia right beside me. I walked up the stairs and one of the priests gave me a warm smile.

“I’m glad you came.” He glanced at Sufia, not outright telling her she needed to leave but silently telling her too.

“I’ll… I’ll go.” Sufia touched my shoulder and gave me a small smile before leaving me alone with the 2 priests.

“As I said before, I’m glad you came.” I turned my attention to the priest.

“I’m sure you know why you needed to come…” I nodded, looking away slightly. “Well, I have something wonderful to tell you. We should go inside; we don’t need anyone else to listening.” He said in a hush tone.

The 2 priests and I walked along the outside corridor to one of the small chapels. The talkative priest led me to one of the pews, taking a sit next to me when I sat down. The silent priest closed the door, locking it.

“As I said, I have something wonderful to tell you.” The priest smiled at me.

“Well, what is it?” I asked.

“God wants to take you as his partner.”

I leaned back in shock. I blinked.

“What? Why?” I didn’t like the idea of being the partner to a God, especially considering a God that, in all honesty, I didn’t see the point in worshiping.

“We are not sure.” He said, with a puzzled look on his face. “But he told us he wishes to take you as his.”

“W-what if I say no?” I questioned with a slight stutter.

The priest sighed. “You know you can’t go against God. He’ll punish all of us, you know that.”

I took in a deep breath, trying to stop my body from shaking as much but it was rather difficult.

“All you need to do is say his name.”

The silent priest came over, tapping his colleague on the shoulder. I noticed that the silent priest was the young one that I saw who was being initiated into the priesthood.

The talkative priest looked at me and gave me a gentle smile, but his eyes were slightly sad, like as if he was sorry for me. His hand went on top of mine, and he gave it a comforting squeeze before getting up and leaving with the silent priest through a small door, leaving me alone in the small chapel.

I stared down at the pew, cursing at my curiosity for putting me in such a situation.

I could get up and leave. Nothing was stopping me, but I knew how wrong it would be for me to do that. Our God was an angry God and from the stories in our sacred text, he was downright unforgiving and merciless.

I ran a hand through my hair, sighing, before looking up at the wooden statue of God. There were flowers before it and adorn it. Sunlight shone on the statue in such a way that you could teel that this was a statue of a deity.

Despite my questionings and my not so devoted worship, I’ve always loved this statue. This was the only one that we had that depicted him in a human form. The statue was pretty old, and the nuns here usually did their best to do the upkeep, making sure it didn’t fall apart from age. The statue itself was made of rosewood and it showed him with a piercing gaze.

As a child, I would come here and help the nuns clean up the chapel and help with the upkeep of the statue. But I would also come here to talk to the statue about my day, my worries and fears, my dreams and nightmares. As I got older though, I started coming to this little chapel less. Maybe it was because by then, I was busy with college, something that Lady Maria was against, telling me to become a nun instead.

I took out my rosary and rubbed wooden beads for comfort.

The feeling of nervousness was crawling up my back and it felt as though someone was watching me. I looked around, my eyes meeting every empty corner of the small chapel.

It was only me and the statue here.

I let out a shaky breath, looking back at the statue.

It looked exactly like him, perhaps a bit younger, but I knew that this really was the face of God.

I gulped and whispered, “Vergil.”

There was stillness in the room that became more apparent when I said his name. It was as though time stood still and I hated the feeling that stillness brought me. It was unnerving.

“I see you came.” a smooth voice entered my ears, and I turned my head to see where it came from. I met his eyes, my breath becoming caught in my throat. His face didn’t hold much emotion as he walked over to me from the side of the room, a sword in his hand, taking a seat next to me and faced ahead, looking at the statue that stood before us.

My hands felt clammy, and my heart was beating slightly fast. My grip on my rosary tightened.

Why was I scared? Was it because I was scared of being punished by God for not being a devoted follower? For Questioning him and his commandments? Or was there something else I was afraid of?

God slowly turned his head to me. “Though I don’t mind the fear, you are the last person I wish to fear me…” His voice was quiet, it was if he didn’t want anyone else but me to hear what he just said.

I didn’t know that to say, and he could tell. He turned his head away, his piercing gaze leaving me.

We sat in silence for a bit, I don’t know how long exactly, but the longer we sat in the silence, the less my nerves were on edge and the more relaxed I became. My heart was beating as fast anymore and though my hands were still a bit clammy, the rosary in my hands became less tight.

“Are you calm now?” he asked, his tone soft as he looked at me once more. I nodded to his question.

“Good. As I said, you’re the last person I wish to fear me.” once again, his voice was quiet.

“What… do you want with me?” my voice was quiet as well, but it was more so out of the small bit of anxiousness I still had.

He hummed at my question, closing his eyes as he did as he gathered his thoughts together.

“If you want me to be honest, there’s two reasons. One of them is rather… pathetic.” He began, opening his eyes. “I could just tell you only one of the reasons. That reason being that I want you to become my most devoted follower. To never doubt the power, strength, and wisdom I obtained for over the years I’ve lived. To have you so devoted that you would lay your life for me without a second thought.”

He stopped, closing his eyes again, sighing. “But then I would not be truly honest with you.” He said, opening his eyes once more. “The other reason… The reason I see to be as weak…” he hesitated. It seemed like he didn’t want to say it. “It is because I wish to not be alone…” his tone was hush.

I was shocked by his words, but I guess even a God becomes lonely sometimes…

“But why me?”

“I would hear you when you would come here and talk. At first, I was annoyed but… I grew attached to your visits.” He looked away again and slightly turned his head up. “You started coming less until you stopped coming entirely, only going to mass.” He chuckled, before looking back at me with a slight smile. “I became rather bitter that you weren’t giving me attention anymore.

“Seeing you again… snapped something in me. It made me realize that I am much more human than I’d like to admit and that I want your attention again… but I want that attention to be only for me.” He whispered.

I felt flustered by his words. To be wanted by God wasn’t a rare occurrence, but I never expected to ever be in that occurrence.

“Come o’re the eastern hills, and let our winds kiss thy perfumed garments; let us taste thy morn and evening breath; scatter thy pearls upon our love-sick land that mourns for thee.”

I couldn’t stop my heart from fluttering from the poem he had recited. His poem told me everything he seemed to have difficulty explaining.

He was in love with me.

The chapel was silent once more, the only sound that could be heard were the birds chirping.

“My God… I…” I didn’t know what to say.

He hummed. “I would like it if you called me by my name.”

I gulped, taken aback by his request but I nodded slightly.

“It’s okay to not know how to feel. I know how you feel about me. I don’t expect you to throw yourself to me yet.” He Vergil said. “It’s a lot to take in… but understand this, my patience is only so thick.”

Vergil leaned in close to me, his nose brushing against mine lightly and I moved back, my cheeks warming from the action.

“Don’t keep me waiting long.” His tone was serious and slightly harsh.

It was a warning.

And a warning from a God was something serious.

The back of Vergil’s hand soon caressed my cheek, causing me to become more flustered than I already was.

His touch was chaste, shy, like as if he was unsure of how to show whatever emotion he was feeling at the moment, a contrast to the words that had just left his lips.

“I’ll be waiting.” There was a softness in his eyes as he said those words, the slight harshness leaving his voice and the quiet, gentleness returning.

He then got up, walking back to where I first saw and opened a portal with his sword. He walked through it and once again, it was only me and the statue in the small chapel.

I could not explain the emotion I was feeling. My mind was blank yet running with so many thoughts that I was glad I was sitting down as I would probably faint. I felt my face, feeling how warm it was and I placed my hand on my chest, wishing my heart would stop leaping whenever his face popped into my mind. Whenever his smooth voice would enter my mind once more.

I wasn’t sure what I was feeling yet but I knew that I needed to figure out what I was feeling before I met Vergil again.

Whether the meeting will be of my own choosing is something I will only know in the future.

#i wrote in first person because i didn't remember if i wrote in first person or not #but i liked how it sound in first person so i kept it that way #i was listening to sweet love by anita baker on repeat while writing at some point lol #i feel like this is a bit rushed at the end but yeah #try to find the full william blake poem i used in this #dmc x reader #devil may cry x reader #vergil x reader #vergil sparda x reader #vergil x male reader #vergil sparda x male reader

90 notes · View notes