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#sugar baby frank
tyforthevnm · 1 year
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IG story by frankieromustdie
[May 12, 2023]
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sosaysdean · 2 years
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help me
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ms-debonair · 1 year
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imagine for mcr5 they release action figures like they did for revenge and gee is in the cheerleader uniform
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@frnkiebby 😭😭😭😭 TYSM 🖤🖤🖤🖤
Happy VDay and NO SCURVY 4 US
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girlandherfandom · 2 years
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2 cm tall
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marciliedonato · 2 years
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Frank is the ultimate babygirl... He bats his eyelashes and like 8 new brands want to send him pr
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pnuk-r0ck · 2 years
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How is Frank able to pull every single man he’s had an encounter with
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manforsale · 2 years
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More sugar baby content x
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stpansy · 1 year
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there are way too many things to comment on in this image please just look at it. closely
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yoshilovebot · 2 years
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number 1: he's so pretty
number 2: #NoScurvy4Me
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tyforthevnm · 1 year
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IG story from frankieromustdie
[April 19, 2023]
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dearings · 2 years
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pov you are the manager of a professional sports team and you text a fruity little rhythm guitarist "send a picture wearing the iero jersey......just the jersey"
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phantomluck · 2 years
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#NoScurvy4Me
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mntozakii · 11 months
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sugar — lee haechan
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pairing: haechan x female reader
tags: stepcest, age gap (6 years), unprotected sex, haechan is a little bit insane but it's fine ☹️
note: been having haechan brainrot so plz enjoy this
minors do not interact and all characters are in legal age
[unedited]
before your first encounter with the boy, his father has warned you that his son can be very mischievous. it turned out to be wrong because the haechan that you met was silent, you didn't have to know that he was actually angry. he believed that a pretty girl like you shouldn't be around men like his father, he knew that his workaholics father will neglect you in the future.
much to your delight, haechan warmed up and became closer to you since his father is always on a business trip. haechan just absolutely adore the way his father's young trophy wife showed up to his soccer games, coding competition, and took care of him like a good mommy. in return, he gave you a lot of affection and love. your sweet boy haechan who never disrespect you, listened to you more than his father, and indulged into your silly little hobbies. he didn't mind to follow around the store like a kicked puppy as you spend his father's black card.
haechan who can't be mean with you. at first, he wanted to make your life miserable but you were so kind and lovely to him. you think of him so fondly that it never crossed on your mind that he's taking advantage of you.
haechan who whines about his sore back so you will massage him and he finds it amusing that you laugh whenever he moans, if only you knew that haechan creamed his pants.
haechan who loves to share his food and feels his pupils dilate whenever your mouth opens nicely as he feeds you.
haechan who offers to do the laundry so he can steal your panties, he secretly touches himself with the flimsy silk.
to be honest, you weren't bothered with haechan's behaviour since you've seen how the boy acted around his relatives and friends. you assumed that it was only natural for him to be so attached with you, after all you're his new mother.
haechan has to thank his parents for making baby as his nickname because now he gets to hear you call him baby everyday.
"baby, don't forget to eat your breakfast"
"haechan baby, can you help me with the grocery?"
"good job baby, you're so smart"
four years went by and your sweet sunshine is no longer a pretty boy, he stood taller than you and looked intimidating than ever. however, he was still the same cheeky boy you've know. haechan attended law school, following his father's path. to be frank, it wasn't his first option but you had beg so prettily for him to listen to his father.
even though haechan was hundred miles away from you, he will still occasionally visit you. besides, he texted you everyday and updated you with everything. you knew the names of the professors that he hated, his pretentious classmates, and his roomate jeno.
"i want to see your face" haechan sent a selfie of him on bed with his messy brown hair.
"i'm on a date" you sent a selfie with his father which he replied with an eye roll emoji. you probably laugh at his choice of emoji but he genuinely felt pissed off. all he wanted was to see your face and he got a picture of the old man kissing your cheek.
"i miss having meals with you" haechan sent a picture of his pathetic dinner that consisted of ramen, few packs of sandwiches, and milk.
"my baby, please eat a proper meal" you sighed as you looked at his simple dinner, you'll remind your husband to pay extra attention to his allowance.
when haechan had few days off from school, he decided to suprise you by taking a flight home. upon his arrival, he was flustered to hear choked cries coming from your room. he knows that his father was home so he opted to peek from behind the door, his face turned into a soft frown when he saw your naked body on his father's lap.
"honey, please, i want to have a child with you" his heart burned with jealousy watching you hold his father's face as you cried, he never get to see your vulnerability before.
"i feel alone, the house seems so empty without haechan. it is a perfect timing for us to raise a child together, right?" his heart broke seeing your attempt to convince his father, haechan felt your frustration by the strong grip on the older man's shirt. he never know that you felt alone while he was away, he felt even worse when the accompany that you now wanted was in a form of a child.
"my sweetheart, i understand how you feel but can you wait for a few more months? once everything is settled at the firm, we will talk about this again" haechan had to physically control himself from letting a scoff, he knew that his father's promise meant nothing. the younger man headed to his room while he waited for his father to return to his office.
as soon as he heard the car left, he went outside to find you. his lips turned into a smirk when he saw you eating a pint of ice-cream, he was quick to attack you with a tight hug. you let out a shriek before hitting his chest when you realised it was haechan.
"haechan, you didn't tell me that you were coming home!" you reciprocated his hug and chuckled when the brunet pecked you on the cheek.
"i wanted to surprise you" he mumbled as he wiped the cream at the corner of your lips, he pulled you to the couch and kept you close to him. he wrapped his hand around your shoulder as he listened to you while the movie play mindlessly in the background.
"baby, have some" haechan smiled when you fed him the ice-cream. he found it very cute when you call him baby because he liked to take advantage of it, it almost felt like you will always forgive him for his mistakes.
haechan loved whenever you wear polo shirt especially if it was paired with a mini skirt. today, you were wearing his favourite white shirt paired with a midi skirt. you looked so beautiful, he can't help but to stare at your thighs through the slit of the skirt.
"why are you so pretty today? i want to play with you" his hand slid inside the skirt before he softly rubbed your inner thigh while maintaining eye contact with you. it wasn't unusual for haechan to be clingy but he should never touch you in that way.
"haechan, what are you doing?" your heart pounded heavily when his hand dangerously headed north.
"baby, your hand—" you tried to push it away but it was no use, his grip only tighten on your body. haechan leaned closer to leave wet kisses on your neck, he missed you so much.
"no— haechan, we cannot do this" your second attempt to shove him away failed since he was so much stronger than you, he didn't even budge at all.
"hmm, why can't we do this?" his mellifluous voice whined before he pulled you to his lap, his hands rested on your side as he eyefucked you.
"my father doesn't want to put a baby into you and i want to do the opposite of that, isn't that good?" his voice made the question sounded so innocent meanwhile in reality, he was talking about making you pregnant with his child. he must've overheard your talk with your husband, you wanted to believe that haechan was just confused with his feelings towards you.
"haechan, your father will get very mad at you" you mumbled as you reached for his hands, holding them tightly so he won't touch you again. haechan admired your effort to put him in his place, it was an adorable attempt. he easily pulled his hands away from you before carrying you to his room, he made sure to lock the door before cornering you to his bed.
"baby, baby, baby" he mocked the way your small voice always call for his name, he took off his shirt and sat on the bed. you can't help but to notice how different he looked now, his body was becoming lean and his features has developed into a handsome man. haechan held your hand as you stood still with guilt written all over your face.
was it your fault for spoiling haechan rotten until he thinks that he can get whatever he wants?
was it your fault for not creating a clear boundaries with your step son?
was it your fault for getting a little aroused with his little antics today?
"mommy, give me a chance to please you" haechan begged with the prettiest doe eyes ever, you are aware that you can say no, leave his room, and pretend that nothing happened but something inside you was thrilled to see more of him.
haechan grew impatient waiting for your reply, he decided to have you on his lap again before a brilliant idea popped out.
"you can tell me to stop and i will" haechan promised before he unbuttoned your shirt, he tried to read your expression but failed to do so. haechan chuckled seeing purple bruises all over your chest, you must had a steamy night yesterday.
"my father is a greedy bastard, isn't he?" he muttered before doing the exact thing that his father did to you last night, except haechan was aiming for your neck.
"baby, not on the neck, he will notice it" you pulled on his hair to take a look at his face, he seemed to be disappointed when he failed to mark you.
his hands gently groped on your tits and nipples, he alternated in between sucking, biting, and pulling on your hard buds. haechan felt his ego skyrocketed when you started to whimper and begged for more.
haechan positioned you to lay down comfortably on his bed before he took off your panties, he kept the skirt on because it looked lovely on you. haechan couldn't believe that he was finally staring at your naked body, he had been fantasizing this for years.
"such a pretty pussy" haechan praised you and chuckled when he noticed your hole clenched at nothing, he didn't know that you were already leaking wet.
"hmm, it's so tight, does he not fuck you at all?" haechan queried as he stuffed your hole with his middle finger, he moaned seeing you tighten around his digit. since he was eager to satisfy you, he added another finger and played with your clit using his other hand.
instead of making you reach your high, haechan kept on edging until you became so frustrated. he will rub your clit in the most delicious circles and stopped whenever you're almost close. the moment when he noticed your legs started to twitch, he will take his hand off your pussy and let you cry for more.
"haechan, don't be mean to me" you had to hold back a sob because you've been denied for so many times and it felt so painful. you tried to touch yourself but he gently smacked your clit as a warning, he wanted to see you come on his cock instead of his fingers. he got on top of you and let your legs rest on his shoulders, he gave a few kisses on your calf before pulling out his dick.
"i prepped you so well, you should be able to take it like a good girl, right?" he rubbed the tip on your entrance and slightly pushed the tip to elicit another moan from you.
one thing that haechan had always dreamt off was kissing you, he had various imagination to kept him on edge whenever he jerked off. he used to imagine fucking you on the mattress that you share with his father, he also fantasized about fucking you in the kitchen too. today, he will do everything that he wanted for so many years.
haechan bit his lip as he slowly pushed himself inside your warm cunt, it felt so fucking good that he wanted to cry. haechan leaned closer to kiss your lips and giggled when he tasted the lip gloss, you had put it on him for fun before but it tasted so much sweeter on your lips.
"baby, what's so funny?" you asked then laughed when he shrugged it off and hid his face on your chest as his hips kept on thrusting into your poor hole.
"this is better than everything i used to dream off" haechan admitted before pulling you into another kiss, you realised that the brown haired boy liked to be messy when kissing. he was so desperate and wanted to swallow you whole if he could, he slowly trailed down to your neck and started to suck and bite on it.
"baby, be gentle with it" you reminded him as you caressed his hair, you admitted that he was doing so well and it scared you. the younger boy decorated your neck with fresh red marks before he intertwined your hands together.
"i'm going to fill you up with my seed, get you pregnant with my child, that'll make you a real mommy" haechan whispered before he continued to fuck you real hard, every each of his thrust hits your cervix and drove you to madness.
"baby, no— haechan, you have to pull out" your hands weakly push him away but it only fueled him to pound your hole mercilessly, he knew that you were close and he wanted to come together. a few more penetration and haechan felt your walls contracted tightly around his veiny cock, he shot ropes of warm semen inside your pussy.
you can't help but to whine at the warm feelings inside you, haechan panted softly as pulled you into a tight hug. he caressed your messy hair and adored the marks he left on your body.
"did i do a good job, mommy?"
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hoshifighting · 1 month
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vernon as your sugar baby!
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— WARNINGS: sugar mommy x sugar baby relationship, smut, car sex, public sex, mentions of drugs: weed, pussy eating, mentions of him being a frank ocean fanboy. — (Seventeen as Sugar Baby's Series)
he engine's purr fades into the background, a low hum that matches the buzz in your veins. the garage is empty, save for your car, parked in the last spot where shadows stretch long and dark. it’s just you and vernon, the two of you cocooned in the heavy scent of weed and leather.
you take another slow drag, letting the smoke curl lazily from your lips, watching it twist and swirl in the murky light. your fingers brush against his hair as he works, head buried between your thighs, his warm breath ghosting over your skin. the blunt hangs loose between your fingers, half-forgotten, as your other hand grips the back of his neck, urging him closer, deeper.
“fuck, vernon,” you mutter—moan. “you’re so fucking good at this.”
he looks up at you, eyes dark and half-lidded, a smug grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. his tie hangs loose around his neck, the expensive fabric bunched up and forgotten like an afterthought. his shirt—white, crisp, and from that brand you couldn’t resist splurging on—hangs open, exposing the smooth planes of his chest. the sight of him like this, disheveled and utterly wrecked, is enough to make your head spin.
“like what you see?” he murmurs, then dips his head back down, pressing a kiss to the inside of your thigh that sends a shiver racing up your spine.
“yeah,” you breathe out, a lazy smile spreading across your face. “but i’d like it more if you’d keep going.”
he doesn’t need to be told twice. his tongue flicks out, and your back arches off the seat, hips rolling up to meet his mouth. the world outside fades away, and all that’s left is the feeling of his lips, his tongue, the warmth of his breath as he devours you like he’s starving.
the blunt slips from your fingers, falling to the floor with a soft thud, but you barely notice. your hands tangle in his hair, nails digging into his scalp as he pushes you closer to the edge, the tension coiling tight in your belly. the car door is open, the cool air a sharp contrast to the heat building between you, but the thought of someone walking by, seeing you like this, just adds to the thrill.
“shit!” you hiss, eyes squeezing shut as you finally come undone, your whole body trembling with the strength of it. he doesn’t stop, doesn’t slow down, just keeps going until you’re a panting, slumped back against the seat.
“good?” he asks, sitting back on his heels, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. his grin is wicked, eyes gleaming with delight.
you don’t bother with words, just reach out and pull him up for a kiss, tasting yourself on his lips. “let’s hit the store,” you mutter against his mouth. “gotta spoil my baby boy before the night’s over.”
he chuckles, low and deep, as he climbs out of the back seat, straightening his clothes. “whatever you want, ma’am,” he says with a smirk. “i’m all yours.”
you’re not sure if it’s the afterglow from vernon’s talented mouth or the blunt that’s got you feeling this relaxed as you stroll through the store, but either way, it’s a damn good feeling. everything’s a little hazy around the edges, but in that warm, fuzzy way that makes you feel like the world’s spinning just right.
vernon’s walking next to you, eyeing a pair of sneakers that you know he’s gonna want, and you love it. you love the way his eyes light up when he finds something he likes, the way he doesn’t even hesitate to swipe your card like it’s his. it’s one of those little things that just… does it for you. and yeah, you love the way he looks in those expensive clothes, how he makes everything you buy for him look like it was made just for him.
“these are sick,” he mutters, holding up the sneakers, already imagining them on his feet. “think i’m gonna grab ‘em.”
you just nod, a lazy smile on your face. “get whatever you want, baby boy. you know i got you.”
but it’s more than just the shoes or the clothes that gets you. it’s the way he curls up on the seat at that hole-in-the-wall restaurant you took him to, shoveling food into his mouth like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted. his eyes widen, and he lets out a low groan that’s almost obscene, making you laugh.
“fuck, this is bussin,” he says, barely pausing between bites. “i mean, seriously, this shit’s next level.”
you can’t help but grin, watching him enjoy something as simple as a meal, and knowing you’re the one who put that look on his face. but it’s not just the food, either. it’s when you take him to that tiny, tucked-away record store and he finds a vinyl he’s been looking for, or when you pick up a vintage video cassette and his eyes light up with that geeky excitement you adore.
you’re watching him now, across the table as he scarfs down his food, glancing at the bag beside you that’s holding a few records you picked up earlier. he’s still chewing when you ask, “so, what’s the deal with that frank ocean album? why’s everyone so obsessed?”
his eyes flick up to yours, and he actually pauses to swallow before answering, which is rare. “you serious?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “frank ocean’s a fucking genius. his lyrics? on another level. it’s like he’s writing a soundtrack for all the shit you never knew you were feeling, you know? and the production? don’t even get me started.”
you lean back in your chair, watching him talk with that passion that he loves so much. this right here—this is what you love more than anything else. yeah, you’re spoiling him with your money, but you’re also feeding his mind, giving him the space to explore and enjoy all the things he’s into.
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wraithdance · 23 days
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The Five Year Plan | Gaz x Reader
Synopsis: When your fiancé breaks up with you, you start to question your timeline; who needs a man when you can have a baby yourself? Who better to ask for help on creating one than your arch-nemesis Kyle Garrick?
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Note: F!Reader but no gendered terms in this chapter, Fat/Plus sized Reader, Reader is implied to be Black but can be read as WoC, Readers nickname is 'Siggy', there will be no y/n use Content warning: terrible grasp of british-isms, parental angst, sick parent (cancer), some reader backstory for storytelling purposes, talks of pregnancy and readers womb, fatphobia from a parent, food mentions. (lmk if I need to tag something else for filtering!!)
Chapter Three: Don't tell mum
It is an ungodly hour of the morning and you have a sugar hangover and a canopy bed full of empty wrappers.
You’d spent the night crying and cursing stupid posh, blond men with trust funds and selective sperm practices. Which then led you to curse even stupider, infuriating wankers with pretty brown eyes and smooth burnished skin.
(Also the perky twits the two species have tea and procreate with, but you’re trying to do a better job of showing unwavering solidarity with other women. Despite the present fuckery at hand that is.)
A brief glance in the mirror of your vanity reflects the deep dark circles under your eyes and the evidence of your emergency chocolate eclairs on the bodice of your moo-moo. The silk lined linen had been no match for the wild disarray of your hair during the night. You looked quite frightening really. You don’t even need to glance at the framed Olivia Pope photo on your nightstand to know your fictional icon would be utterly disgusted at the state of you.
This would not do.
Sitting up from your pillow you point an accusing finger to the wobbling lipped wretch in the mirror and take a deep steadying breath for fortitude.
"Tits up, buttercup! There's no crying in show business!" you bellow at the watery reflection firmly.
The wretch in the mirror looks no more enthusiastic than before.
Mentally you shrug. Sure the motto is not as an effective motivator as it is with the raspy American accent of your chain smoking paternal aunt, but still. It's the thought that counts! With shoulders back and head high you're determined to expel angst from your body like water off a duck's arse. You force your mouth into a semblance of a smile that doesn't reach your eyes and tumble-scooch out of the nest of blankets in the middle of your bed. 
It was Saturday and you had an overbearing mother to visit (and subsequently lie to). If you didn’t get it together she’d smell the bitter notes of ‘Eau de Failure’ wafting over you like a shark scenting blood in the water. So with that in mind, you prepare for war with a nice candle and the motivating sounds of a beloved global hero. 
“Breakup, shmake-up! Alexa, be a dear and play Megan thee Stallion, we need this show back on the road. Pronto!”
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An incoming text comes in briefly interrupting your improvised rendition of W.A.P while you perform (lounge) in the tub. With suds scarily close to your face you squint at the message from your father with one eye.
> Nurses called, mums in a mood.
You scowl. To be frank there’s not a time as of late where your mum wasn’t in a mood. Waving an arm in the air to dispel the bubbles covering your hand, you type out a text back.
< Gobsmacked, truly. Send rating for level of risk in engaging the matriarch, Skipper.
The reply comes in seconds. You can imagine your tech averse father having already expected the request and having a reply at the ready. 
> Threat level five, Captain.
You scrunch your nose and make a whine of irritation. 
Bugger. The scale only went up to six. 
With a sigh you send a simple ‘Roger that’ and sink lower into the bathtub. It was probably best to add more bubbles and break out the epsom salts. You were going to need all the relaxation you could get.
An hour later you’re dressed and slathered in body butter, glistening like a plump glazed ham. 
Outside your flat you’re shifting your bag around to find the knock off sunglasses somewhere traversing at the bottom when the sound of the door across the wall causes you to tense. Kyle stands in his doorway shuffling with a small plastic bag in hand and a sheepish smile. He’s blinking sleep from his eyes and scrunching his face as if the light filtering in the drab hallway disturbs him greatly. 
Your gut clenches seeing the serene yellow glow cascading across his brown skin. (It wasn’t fair that even the sun was a biased ninny and painted the bane of your existence out to be an ethereal creature.)
You give him a look up and down that you hope is less awestruck and all venom. It’s hard not to get distracted by the low hang of his gray sweatpants and the compression shirt that encompasses his broad chest. 
Sweet blueberries, the man dressed like a common whore. 
Sniffing you turn your nose up at him, shoving your sunglasses on your face when you finally reach them.
“Garrick.”
He smiles wider despite your dry tone. “Good morning, love.” 
“Were you just standing there at the door waiting for me?”
Kyle gives you a flat look in return with slightly less chipper-ness. He shifts his arms to rest in a cross, the bag swinging from the crook of his elbow like a metronome. His biceps bulge in a way that makes you want to clutch your pearls. 
(Or bite him. Hard.)
“I wasn’t waiting at the door.” He’s not quite mocking the cadence of your voice but you still wonder if you could get away with braining him with your overstuffed bag.
“I just happened to be nearby and I know you always leave around this time on Saturdays.”
You roll your eyes. 
“So you were waiting at the door then. You know Garrick stalking is illegal in the UK. I would hope you’d know that being military and such.”
Kyle narrows his eyes into slits. His nostrils flare as his once bright smile turns sardonic, gravely affronted.  
“Don’t know if you’re always such a charm in the mornings, love, but like I said, wasn't waiting around.” He clips. You are incensed at the degree of excitement that shoots through you at his rare snark. 
(You make a mental note to have one of the cute nurses at mum’s care center check you over for possible head trauma.)
“Besides,” He gives you a pointed look. “You would know something about illegal acts considering you’re the one who got banned from the resident’s meetings for nicking the snacks.”
The gasp of offense you let out is involuntary. Morning Kyle was not only scandalously dressed but also very rude!
“I did not steal anything, Garrick, they were complimentary for the residents!” You snark haughtily, pushing your sunglasses up your nose with a manicured finger. “I happen to be a resident you know and I gave my compliments when I took them.”
Kyle lets out a bark of laughter. The sleep layered tenor makes your toes curl in your sensible slippers. 
Bugger he was pretty. 
“Is there something you need from me?” you ask when his laugh trickles off into chuckles.
Kyle sobers and shoots you a sheepish glance. “Ah yeah actually. I wanted to give you these.” 
Kyle maneuvers the bag off his arm and extends it to you. With an abundance of caution you accept the offering like one would handle a ticking bomb and peek inside. 
An assortment of moon cakes greets you at the bottom of the plastic. 
You can smell the crisp outer shell and the sweet red bean filling of the pastry signifying their freshness. You do the mental math in your head and realize he’d had to have been up at the crack of dawn to get in line for them at the shops around the way. 
The treats sold out in minutes and you very rarely got the opportunity to get them on your own during the season as you were prone to sleeping in.  
“What’s this for?” 
“It’s an apology.” He gives your bewildered look a self deprecating grimace. “I don’t know what the other night was about but I wanted to apologize for hurting your feelings.”
Okay, no. Can’t have any of that now. 
You straighten up and put your hands on your hips. Kyle’s eyes follow your movements, staring for longer than polite. You clear your throat and he looks away when you give him an eyebrow raise in return. 
“Firstly, Garrick, you didn’t hurt my feelings, don't insult me. I was just taken aback.” pausing in consideration you peer over the rim of your glasses at the man. “What exactly did Madelyn tell you?”
Kyle shifts, one side of his mouth twitching upwards bringing your attention to the facial scar on his cheek.
“Nothing, actually. Just a lot of crying and mumbling about some Hugo. I honestly thought she was talking about a dog before I realized it was some chap she's seeing.”
You hum. Interesting, really.
You’d been sure he’d known more than he’d let on or at the very least that Madelyn would prove to be the unsavory sort to spill the beans on the sister wife shuffle you’d been unwittingly involved in. 
A glance at your watch shows you that you’ve spent too much time dawdling. No need to ruffle mum’s feathers further.
“Well, this has been lovely, Garrick, but I have to cut out. Places to go, people to see and such.” You shake the bag in your hand in emphasis, “Thanks for the goodies. it ‘s very... Sweet of you.” 
“You’re welcome, love.”
You’re glad you thought to wear your shades, the smile he gives you is infused with satisfaction and warmth. (He really should be much more careful where he aims those things he’s liable to blind someone.)
With a twirl of your wrist you give Kyle a halfhearted wave goodbye. He watches you until the lift closes.
What a strange duck.
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You find your father at his usual haunt within the oncology unit of the extended care center. 
“Step away from the vending machine, Skipper. I come bearing tastier morsels.”
You smile at his wide eyed panic as he turns to you with shoulders to his ears. He curses low and pulls you into a bear hug, tight enough that a passing nurse shushes you for the squawk you let out. Your father’s miserably dramatic groan vibrates throughout your own chest and he lets out a puff of air.
“You’ve gotta announce yourself kid, I nearly shit myself.”
With a laugh you poke a finger into his rib causing him to jerk away from you. “It’s shat, do try to act like a proper Brit won’t you? Besides what's the fun in announcing myself when I can catch you red handed doing something you shouldn’t. Mum will be pissed you’re wasting money on vending machine biscuits ya’ know.”
Your father gives you a droll look when you snatch his change and shove it in your own pocket. 
(Someone has to pay the child tax after all.)
“Shit or shat, same difference and you would be the one responsible for cleaning me up, brat. And, I’ve been divorced from your mother for nearly a decade so I don’t care what she won’t like. I'm a grown ass man, I’m not afraid of her.”
Your eyes roll so far to the back of your head you swear you can see your medulla. He was so full of it.
“Yeah? So, if I told you not to tell mum something you’re not going to do that thing where you blurt it out the second she looks at you?”
He puts a hand over his heart in reply. “Of course I wouldn’t say anything. I’m a little offended right now, when have I ever run off at the mouth.”
You stomp your feet in irritation. He didn’t get to play clueless!
“Literally all the time. You’re the reason she sent me to that awful boarding school for nicking one of your cigarettes! I’m still scared of nuns you know- stop laughing!”
Your father continues to chuckle and pats your face. When you swat his hand away the look he gives you is unimpressed and flippant.
“In my defense, you were thirteen and had no business smoking in the first place, much less skipping class to do it. I had to put fear into you so you didn’t come out a delinquent.” 
“By telling mum?” You quirk a brow.
“Course, what’s scarier?” He gives you a smug look, linking his arms in yours. You both set a pace down the hall in the direction of your mothers room. 
“Besides, I wouldn’t be a father if I hadn't done whatever it took, you were very rebellious and snotty at the time. But still, it worked out didn’t it? Got a cool nickname out of it. Siggy, the chain smoking lawyer.”
You start to glare at him but the word father makes you wince and he catches it. “What’s the look?”
“So about being a father,” you slow to a stop just outside your mothers door. You give the nurse at reception a tight smile and try to come up with a way to say the thing. 
“Hugo got someone pregnant.” 
It takes the old man some time for it to click. You watch his mind whir putting together the things you didn’t say. Finally he levels you with a smirk much like a cat who drank the cream would wear.
“No shit? Didn’t think he had the cojones for that, you’d kept them in your purse long enough.”
The look you give him is unimpressed, he snickers. How dreadful, you were being parented by a child. 
“Yes well,” you look away “according to him I wasn’t mother material and he dumped me for the other woman.”
Your father hums “Tragic that. Didn’t like him very much so I can’t say I’ll miss him. He send you off with something?”
He motions his head at the plastic bag you fiddled with subconsciously. With a snort you hand it over, watching his eyes light ups when he digs through its contents.
“No, gift from my neighbor.” you wait until he’s taken a moon cake out of its individual wrapping before leveling him a glare. “Under no circumstances are you allowed to tell mum that Hugo and I broke up.”
Your father shrugs off your concern with a wave. “Yup got it. Won’t hear a peep out of me about it.” He takes a big bite that sends pastry flecks over his shirt and you roll your eyes.
Facing the door to the hospital room you roll your shoulders back and prepare yourself mentally.
The sound of a wrapper crinkly disturbs whatever inner peace you search for in the universe.
“Please Siggy, I served with guys in the Navy with less seriousness going into battle.” 
Good grief.
“Eat your sweets please.” You cluck, “I need to meditate before I walk in there.”
Your father ha-rumps in reply but thankfully keeps quiet. When you feel some semblance of self control you shoot a look behind you.
“Remember not a single word!”
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Your mother is propped against mounds of pillows. She looks every bit like a queen holding court despite the tubing and wires running along her body. Her sallow skin is grayish in tint, far from the myriad of browns you remember from your youth. 
Yet her scowl remains sharp and dagger-like in nature.
“Oh, how nice of you to show up. I thought this was your way of telling me you want me to die alone.”
Your father shoots you a look as he finishes off the cake. Threat level five indeed.
You smile at her sheepishly which only makes her glare more.
“I got tied up with my neighbor, sorry mum. I’m here now though. What’s been going on?” 
Your mother says nothing instead choosing to follow you with her eyes as you make your way to the armchair beside her bed. When you’re seated she sucks her teeth and looks you up and down before gesturing at your still standing father with her head. 
“Why did you bring this traitorous shadow on my doorstep, eh? I already have a sickness, why must you make me suffer more?”
Your father rolls his eyes before gesturing a thumb over his shoulder.
“Alright… glad we had this talk. I’ll just run to the cafeteria.” Your father turns tail and leaves without waiting for a reply. Your mother gives you a look.
“Wisdom chases your father but unfortunately he is faster.”
“Please, that’s mean, mum.” You ignore her brush off, “He comes to visit with me every weekend even when he doesn’t have to, maybe you should give him a break.” 
Your mother is silent, choosing to disregard your scolding by facing away and watching the drama playing out on the telly. You allow the dismissal, watching along with her and sharing occasional comments on the plot. 
During an advertisement break she folds her hands into her lap and shifts to get a good look at you.
“Are you pregnant yet?”
You jerk back into the cushions of the chair, “No!”
She frowns. “Why not, you are getting old? 
And here we go.
“Mum,” you start carefully, “You say this every time you see me and I have to remind you once more that I’m not old. It’s actually pretty rude, you know, to suggest I need a baby because I’m aging.”
She huffs adjusting the nasal cannula. You look at the IV in her thin hand and the feeling of wrongness makes your body vibrate with anxiety. 
She shouldn’t be here.
You don’t get a chance to think about it anymore when she leans over the railing of her bed to stare deep into your eyes.
“What’s happened to that Humphrey fellow, what is he saying about your empty womb?”
For fucks sake!
“It’s Hugo and he’s got nothing to say about my womb because it’s not his bloody-” you refuse to amend the curse when she swats at you with the hand closest to you, “it’s not his bloody business mother, I’m not a breeding mare!” 
She narrows her eyes, jaw working as she contemplates your tense shoulders. “Where is he?” 
You recoil. For. Fucks. Sake!
You try to look casual while sitting back in the armchair, your unseeing glaze pretending to be interested in the period piece that now plays on the in-unit television.
“He’s around or whatever. Doing fiancé things and all that jazz. Super happy. Great guy, truly the best.”
Your mother lets out a sharp ‘Ha!’ She calls your full name in the tone. The ‘I have birthed you and I will end you’ like filicide is her right as a mother, tone. You sink low into the chair.
“What, mother?”
“You are lying, I can tell. Where is Harold and what happened to your engagement? If you’ve run off another man I will cut you from my will.”
You snort humorlessly.
“Like I said Hugo is fine where he is. Besides you don’t have a will, I know because I oversee your legal paperwork and you refuse to sit down and draft one with me.”
She mumbles something unintelligible about everyone speaking death onto her when your father walks into the room with a cup of coffee.
You see the second your mother sets up a plan of attack and your father does too in the way he freezes in fear like a doe in the path of a wolf. 
“Where is the child’s husband-”
“He broke up with her!" He blurts with wide, dodgy eyes, "Got some girl pregnant and ran off.” 
He returns your disgusted look with a shrug. “Sorry, Siggy got nervous.”
Seriously, the man needed some backbone! He’s not even married to her any more! You’re opening your mouth to lay into him when your mother launches her own attack on you both.
“Do not call my child that awful name, you discombobulated fool!” you mouth the word ‘discombobulated’, the woman was creative with her insults, you’ll give her that.
“And you!” she wags her finger in your direction with a stiff lip, “You should be ashamed of yourself for lying to your own ailing mother. Quickly, how did you manage to run this one off? I am dying to hear it.”
Primly you sit up, adjusting the hem of your shirt around your tummy. Your time in court was much less daunting, to be honest, but you’re a believer in faking it until you make it.
“Mumsy, I didn’t run anyone off, thank you very much. In my defense he was a cheating oaf and he is free to do what he wants, it's no skin off my back.”
She laughs haughtily and it makes you feel awful. 
“He wouldn’t have left if she gave him children!”
The dark desire to mention that giving a man a child hadn’t worked out in her favor when you catch your father’s look. He shakes his head, knowing you well enough to pluck the vicious thought from your mind.
You swallow back the biting retort in defeat.
“Mum please. Hugo said he didn’t want kids right away” you mentally add the ‘children with you’ with a frown, “I believed him when he said it and that’s not something I should be punished for.”  
Your mother sits back in bed, raising her hands in the air in defeat. 
“Everyone else in the family has a grandchild or three!” She cuts her eyes at you, “Why was I the one cursed with a child who buys ugly bags instead of raising babies.”
The pit in your stomach grows as tears prickle your eyes. “My bags aren’t ugly and its very mean of you to suggest that.” you whimper dejectedly.
Your father takes a step and puts his hand on your shoulder.
“I think that’s enough, we should be comforting our child not being insulting. You didn’t like the man anyways so what's the issue?” 
Your mother just tuts and closes her eyes like she couldn’t be arsed to have you both in sight a moment longer.
“He was also a fool.” She opens one eye to peek at you, “Your cousin is expecting again by the way.”
So that's what this was about, you snort.
“Yes well, terrible for you to compare me to my underage cousin when she’s barely a teenager with her second child on the way. You know as well as I do the family was in a kerfuffle about it the first time!”
Your father hums in agreement, voicing his support (a little late after having caused this mess, but still.)
“You should be proud to have a kid who has degrees, a great career -an admittedly shit flat,” He ignores your sound of objection “but otherwise really fabulous things going on. Say something nice, please.”
Your mother sniffs “I’m getting older and who knows if this sickness takes me to glory. The child obviously wants me to die without a grandbaby.”
Your sigh is deep and loud in the room. You know for a fact she's bringing up her cancer to twist the knife in deeper. Yet you heard from her yourself that the doctors crowed about the progress of her health.
“Mum please don’t keep saying stuff like that. It really hurts my feelings because you know I love you and I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” 
You watch your mother fight to not soften with your admission. She doesn't look directly at you, glancing more in your general direction. You place a hand over hers on top of the covers, squeezing her fingers tight. The dull shine of her wedding band catches the light of the side table lamp. 
She squeezes your hand back and lifts it out from under yours to pat your fingers. You know it's the only form of apology you’ll get from her. She does ruin it though, moments after.
“Your wrists are like sausage casings, have you gotten bigger?”
Yes well, that was your sign that it was time to go.
“Well lovely as always to see you mum,” you shift to a stand reaching for your bag at your feet and patting your father on the arm. “Think I’m going to pop out and consider my life choices and all.”
She tells you not to be cheeky when you kiss her cheek. She ignores your father’s goodbye  and continues on with watching her shows.
On the walk out front your father stops you from leaving. He lights up a cigarette, the cloying menthol aroma turning your stomach. 
(You never could pick one up again after that traumatizing moment in secondary school.)
Your father is quiet for some time, flicking the ash of his cigarette occasionally in deep thought. You don’t make an effort to break the silence, thinking of your own recollection of another successfully humiliating interaction with your mother. They’d been happening a lot more as of late and it was starting to wear a hole in your heart.
When you shuffle in place your father finally looks at you with a softened glint in his eye. He stumps out his ciggie and places a hand on your shoulder.
“You and your mother are just alike.”
Snorting, you look off to the darkening parking lot, settling your gaze on a flickering street lamp in the distance. You try to ignore the warbling view from behind the tears in your eyes.
“Wouldn’t let her hear that. I’m sure she’d pop her lid at the very suggestion.” You don’t mean to, but bitterness coats your tongue before you can stop yourself, “Poor, fat, pathetic Siggy mucking her perfect plans up as always.”
Your father shoots you a warning glance, not liking your tone or the self deprecation dripping from your mouth. Being under his steel gaze makes you feel childish but you refuse to show it, meeting his look head on.
Because like it or not it was the truth. Whether she said it outright she wasn’t satisfied with your person.
You’d grown up always being on the wrong end of your mothers ire. No matter how hard you tried otherwise. But there wasn’t an excellent mark you could get, a partner you could bring home, or even a diet you could go on. You were always just… lacking.
Your father sighs in the night.
“You’re just as hard headed as her, you know that? Just as quick to cut down an idea that doesn’t fit your vision.”
Catching the defeated slump of your shoulders he calls your name. When you don’t look at him he tucks a finger beneath your chin forcing you to meet his gaze. Love and sadness sit on his weathered skin like a cloak. 
“It’s not a bad thing, Captain. I know being all brass and bull dick helps you at that fancy ass firm of yours but it keeps you from smelling the roses from time to time.”
You wrinkle your nose at the crassness, not sure how to take being compared to bulls testicles. He continues on.
“You also got her flare for dramatics and her ambitious nature. It’s why you two have been butting heads since you could set up and talk.”
Whoa, not the case!
“She butts heads with me!” You cry out, “I don’t know what I could possibly be doing to trigger her but I’m exhausted figuring it out. I just want-“
The lump in your throat stops you and you take a shaky breath. 
“I just want her to be on my side for once? Instead of being worried about me embarrassing her in front of the family.”
He gives you a sad smile.
“She’s just scared. Been on the wrong end of the hyenas before, I think she tries to nag you into submission in hopes she can spare you half the pain.”
That you can’t help but give an unbelieving look to.
“Please she acts like the head hyena most days. It’s hard to believe she’s ever been judged the way she judges me.”
Your father hums humorlessly, wrapping an arm over your shoulder to smush you into his side.
“You’d be surprised. She’d gut me, then stuff me over the mantle for saying it, but I have it on good authority that she’s on thin ice with her side of the family as well.”
You sniffle past the tears on your lashes, blinking to peer at him. “Well don’t leave me in suspense, old man. What’s the story behind that?”
Your father chuffs and flicks the tip of your nose, you whine rubbing the sore spot left behind. 
“I got your old man alright, you little shit.” He laughs boisterously, “They’re pissed she dared marry me, an American. Then by doing me the honor of birthing you, the most loving, headstrong tornado of a child a man can ask for, despite their objections.”
The forehead kiss he plants on you brings more watery fluid to your eyes. You hide the emotion by frowning and pretending to wipe off imaginary residue from your forehead.
“I’m not following.” You snark flatly. It earns you a pinch.
“They’re pissed she went against them then had the nerve to agree to divorce me when it was all said and done. That’s on top of inconveniencing them by getting sick. Your mum’s been on the chopping block far longer than you’ve been and the pressure is getting to her.”
He lets out a long suffering sigh and you imagine he’s reliving the hard years that came about after the divorce. The constant yelling and coldness within your childhood home still sends ice down your spine. Your father notices the resulting shiver and rubs your arm to provide warmth into your limbs.
“Despite our differences, I know your mum is just worried you’ll face the same treatment she did when she went and ran off with me, the ‘no good American’ while on vacation.”
You sigh, still not really understanding. It was definitely unfortunate their treatment of your parents' marriage. You’d witnessed it in the slick remarks of your aunties and the other elders over the years. 
Your father had done what he could to shield you from figuring out his ostracism up until he’d asked your mother for a divorce. 
It wasn’t fair to either of them that the family was so caught up in outdated traditions to see your parents had loved each other once. But you couldn’t live like this and you say so.
“You said it yourself, you've been divorced for ages. It’s not fair that she puts so much pressure on me when I don’t give a damn about what they say. I’ve never amounted to anything they want and I refuse to exhaust myself trying to meet her expectations.”
Your father nods in agreement.
“That’s valid, Siggy. Ultimately I just want you to make your own path. I’ll talk to her about laying off, promise.” He cocks his head and squints at you. 
“What?” You give him a worried perusal.
“Are you still mad that I spilled the beans about the fiancé situation?”
You laugh, pinching him around the middle. “I’m still very upset actually. You sold me out so quickly, it’s like you didn’t even try!”
He shrugs shamelessly. “It was me or you. I had to put myself first in the end.”
You roll your eyes and enjoy the swaying hug he keeps you in. After some time he speaks, peering at you.
“Your little friend Blue is right, by the way, that Hugo man does look like a chihuahua.”
“Dad, please.” 
“I’m just saying, Captain, might have gotten lucky after all. wouldn’t want you to go off and birth a litter of pups with a french accent.”
Your resulting cackle echoes loudly into the night.
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A/N lol sorry for taking forever for an update and all the parental angst lmao. If you can’t tell I suffer from mommy issues and I was avoiding writing this chapter. Excited, next part the good shit begins :’D
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