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[nectardaddy]

YOU'D NEVER KNOW . . . k. sugawara + f! reader

♬ mentally exhausted // she don't recognize herself yet // and it's getting too much to bear // but it's hard to tell by looking at her // she seems so well put together // you'd never know

                   ✩ you'd never know, evan honer 

₊˚. notes/CWs : hurt/comfort, depression + anxiety, panic attack, nausea/feelings of wanting to vomit, feelings of self loathing, reader is a teacher, not proofread, self shippy as fuck I'm sorry, this felt good to write so just…don't perceive me

 Her fingers hurt from the tight hold on the sink. Knuckles tensed and hands in an ironclad grip on the porcelain; the chips and dings on the side dug into the exposed skin of her hand, leaving small indentations and bruises from holding on for dear life.

Her chest was sore, her throat scratchy and hoarse, as each deep breath hurt worse than the last. In and out - what her therapist taught her. But she didn't believe her therapist had ever taught a room full of ten year olds, nor did she believe the professional would ever be stupid enough to do so. The deep breaths never worked. Filling up exhausted lungs with hot air could never be the solution to her problems.

Too many things to do, and not enough time.

For a moment she thought this was time wasted, bent over the sink heaving for air. Gasping and gulping for just a single, peaceful, deep breath. But she let the thought pass as soon as it came - she was always wasting time.

‘You're an asshole.’

‘I hate you.’

‘Why can't we do anything fun?’

‘Do we have to do this? Is this for a grade?’

‘Are your plans done for next week?’

‘What did you do for that child to act out like that?’

‘Remember your why.’

‘My child would never do that.’

‘You need to get a 70% passing rate or we'll lose our accreditation. We're counting on you!’

A never ending slew of questions, insults, assumptions, and standoffish statements landed her to the chasms of her own mind. Hunched over the bathroom sink, and fighting the urge to vomit. A swirling, dark, nauseating pit fell to her stomach like a rock in the morning and remained there all day; only now was she allowed to feel it. Only now, in the comfort of a rundown apartment bathroom, was she allowed to set the emotion free from a happy-faced facade that made her skin crawl, that felt wrong in every regard, and was a complete and utter lie.

She had gotten home five minutes ago, held the pulled taught feeling so strongly until the moment she stepped through the threshold. It was a crumbling tower from there on out. Cracked, broken, and out right destroyed as soon as she managed to push herself to the bathroom. Tears slipped down hot, frustrated, cheeks until the stream became a broken dam. Gushing and never ending - a nightmare to those in its wake. She cried in anger, in sadness, in grief - pure desperation to feel something other than exhausted.

She didn't hear the door open and shut softly, too focused on the task of taking a full inhale (that she never could get) to hear it. Didn't register the thud of a bag hitting the ground, or the confused call of her name. Her mind too warped with a sense of self loathing to even comprehend that there was a gentle knock on the door before it creaked open.

Her appearance was lackluster and bleak; jostled professional attire now wrinkled and blotted with tears. But Sugawara knew the feelings the woman felt all too well: a deep pit of loathing and wanting, teetering the line of desperation and outright giving up, just before the last crack feathered out and caused chaos and mass destruction.

Her eyes flickered up to the mirror in front of her, dusty and speckled with dots of dried water - neither of them had the energy to clean it in weeks, and locked eyes with familiar brown ones. Brown ones that swam and dipped in concern and adoration, feelings she wished others would look at her with.

She watched him look over her a moment, brows knitted together before his eyes softened. “Hug? Or not yet?” Asked softly, and in second nature. The pair had a prior agreement to leave the fleeting touches for later, when they both had time to settle back into their own skin. Nothing was worse than an argument caused by overstimulation, and words spoken in anger that could've been resolved by a simple question such as this.

“Hug.”

A single word was all the man needed to engulf her in warmth.

Sugawara taught second grade, while she taught older. And to this, she thought as if the lingering smell of crayons and glue would always be a part of him. Stitched into the seams of his clothes every time he got home, soaked into his skin the moment he walked in the door until he showered. But it became a smell she associated with peace, with serenity - with love.

His arms wrapped around her and pulled her close, like a missing puzzle piece that had finally been found. And he remained stationary, unwavering, as she closed her eyes and tried to hide herself amongst his sweater. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“It'll turn into a two hour rant if I do,” she whispered, voice almost incoherent as she spoke into the fabric above his chest.

“You could go on for four and I'd still listen.”

She paused, and for a split second the nausea disappeared. His words flipped the breaker in her mind before it turned off once more, and the need to spill her guts punched her in the stomach again. Her hands gripped the wool fabric of his sweater tightly when the feeling returned, and fingers went numb as she remained tense.

“I don't know if I can keep this up, Kou. I'm so tired.” Her voice wavered and broke, another crack in her overall appearance that made his heart sink further.

“I know,” he breathed. “I know you are.” A blanket statement that he knew right down to the roots. An exhaustion that, really, no one could understand unless they too were in the profession. A tired that swam in shallow veins, and dipped into the psyche - driving one mad.

“Everything I do, and every choice I make is wrong to someone and I'm just so sick of it.” She groaned, “and I'm so sick of being told to ‘remember your why’ to legitimate concerns about something.” He hummed before she continued on, “I don't feel appreciated at all.” Her voice dropped once more, before she let out a shaky sigh, “by anyone.” She felt him rest his chin on her shoulder, and he let out a gentle sigh. Not knowing what to say to make the situation better, as he knew nothing truly would - a broken system would remain fractured whether he despised it or not.

“I appreciate you more than anything.” His voice was quiet, knowing if he spoke any louder it would rile her even more. “And I don't need a why, I just need you.”

taglist

@causenessus @softpia @renardiererin @kodzu-ken @phoenix-eclipses

@wyrcan @honeekyuu @wakashudou @wolffmaiden @eggyrocks 

@yogurtkags @bakery-anon @totallytatum @mollyrolls @aozui 

@jadeoru @hyunteru @kameyyy @nekozaki @sandwhitches 

@angelichwv @a-girl-cant-decide-on-a-name @crypt-0rchid

[punktxctics]

picrews of star and suger <333

[stellar-haikyuu]

stellita & suger ☆ double dates pt. 2 ⤷ with @nectardaddy <3

saving up for art and pottery workshops. getting paint and clay everywhere. silly and cute designs. joy and whimsy. laughing at misshapen figures. making tiny friends. wonky creations that are full of love. fun and functionality. testing the workshop instructor's patience. "your students can paint better than that!"

nearly getting kicked out of the museum. random critiques of artworks (that may evolve into a proper debate). hilarious reenactments of statues and paintings. making silly poses. pics for the #aesthetic. scavenging through the gift shop for souvenirs.

stellar's masterlist

[punktxctics]

this is the most gorgeous picrew I've ever seen and I'm screaming crying throwing up

posting here bc yeah but LOOK AT US!!! BRUH DHAKALFLAJQHDJA I'M MELTING HE'S SO EHWKFNQJDHQX

guys look at this freakin picrew i’m gonna scream

[hyunpic]

that’s one impressive rock paper scissors losing streak he got going on

[lavrach]

My fav Hetalia rarepair is Sweden x Germany btw

[nectardaddy]

suga and I have been together so long we don't even ask anymore 💀 we will be sitting at home and eating all the chocolate our students gave us and having a nice dinner on the weekend ♥️

hi just letting you all know mattsun asked me to be his valentine and all the years following this one, no need to gift him chocolate because i'll be eating it by myself

[nectardaddy]

SUGER . . . sugawara + dodger

˖* CALLING AFTER ME . wallows 

cause I've been out until the morning // and I don't think I'll last another night // I knew the feeling would be forming // after I took a look into your eyes // but are you ready for it, darling?

˖* LEMON BOY . cavetown

so lemon boy and me, we just gotta get along together // I helped him plant his seeds // and we'll mow the lawn in bad weather // it's actually pretty easy being nice to a bitter boy like him // so, I got myself a citrus friend

˖* FRI(END)S . v 

you and I go back to like '09, it's like forever // and you were there on my lonely nights, yeah, keeping me together // so wouldn't it make sense if I was yours // and you could call me your baby? // but we say we're just, say we're just // friends, just for now

[punktxctics]

picrew link !!

hi I'm still not over this so I made another one bc I'm insane

[stellar-haikyuu]

stellita & suger ☆ double dates pt. 1 ⤷ with @nectardaddy <3

freeing up weekends. accidentally sleeping in so breakfast turns to brunch (or lunch). having a bucket list of foods, drinks, and restaurants that everyone wants to try. talking crap about the education and healthcare systems. ideas to increase inclusivity and accessibility in classrooms. sharing funny things that kids have done or said that week. talking about the kids' latest memes and viral things (and realizing that we're getting old). using leftover activity sheets and filling them in ourselves. "your co-worker did WHAT?"

bringing out our inner children. tabletop and board games galore (we need to know how to play with the kids!). losing our voices thanks to our favorite songs. an assortment of whatever the heck we can afford to bring. absolute chaos because we suck at dancing. random evening/midnight cravings. cooking and baking on a whim (never mind the aesthetic and ingredients getting all over). being 100x more competitive than our kiddos.

stellar's masterlist

[tentacleplains]

more scenes that basically everyone sees but pointing out a specific detail i find interesting: "though i hope you don't cause a scene this time" does avery regularly cause scenes at parties?? lmao

[cryptidflow3r]

HI?????????????????

This was on the not limited time banner too what the fuck

Now I just need your wife(?)

[sstandsfor]

Hello my friend, I wish to return the favor and ask what your favorite food is? And your favorite animal as well :)

Heyy, hope you're doing fine pecerita. My favourite food is pretty basic 💀 I love homemade pizza. I usually make the sauce and my mom makes the dough.

Aaand my favourite animal is the wolf, I love reading about them. in general, animals that live in packs are super interesting! but wolves are my fave 💖💖

[blue-jester]

really quickly drawn oc challenge, idk if I'll color this

[boothillzvhs]

·˚ [featuring] !! ' ᵇᵒᵒᵗʰⁱˡˡ ˣ ᶠᵗᵐ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ !

cw — ftm!reader. dom!boothill. bondage, fingering, praising, squirting, blindfold sex, dub-con, t4t sex :3

౨ৎ....................................................................................................................౨ৎ

“you're doin' so well for me sugar.. ” 

he praised, rubbing your inner thigh as you rode his strap, kissing you all over for taking him so well "mmh...b-boothill..its too..big...!" you squirmed, trying to get used to the size "we can change the size if ya' want sweetie.." boothill said, his voice laced with concern.

"n-no no..its fine, don't worry, It just hurts..' you rested your head on his shoulder, his hand caressing your hair, "givin' up already ?" you nodded, "ill give you a bit of help.. 'kay ?" he kissed your forehead, starting slowing, he slid a finger inside "ah..! boothill~!" he shushed you "shh.. its okay baby, try loosing up a bit.." he kissed your forehead.

"hah..feels good.." he smirked at your remark "oh..?~ it does, doesn't it sugar?" he chuckled a bit, caressing your face with his thumb, your arms held in place with the rope he usually doesn't use during sex.

your vision blocked by a blindfold, and your legs bonded together, "how you holdin' up sugar? " he asked when he heard a sharp gasp coming from you, caressing your cheek, "I'm goin' to add another finger in 'kay? tell me to stop if its to much sweetheart." he kissed you before adding another finger "mmh..i_i'm ..f-fine.." you rasped "atta' boy.." he curled his fingers up to that spot you love so much.

boothill feels like he��s about to burst, he NEEDS you to beg him to never stop “ah… ah boothill, mhng!” Spit drippin' from the corners of your lips, "does this spot right here feel good babes ?" he grinned, curling his fingers up onto your g spot "hah....mhh...y-yah... it feels so good..." you said with tears running down your cheeks, he nodded, sliding a third finger inside you.

"too much??" he asked "everything's 'kay..i_i think I'm ready..please put it in.." you begged, "alright babe, if ya' say so, just tell me when yer' close 'kay?" he rubbed your arm in a comforting way, lining himself up to your hole, slowly sliding the tip in "take it easy prince...just let yourself get used to it 'kay?.." he kissed your nape.

"haaahh...boot..hill" your eyes shut close when he grinded into your g-spot, your body quivered, he chuckled "good..good boy.." you couldn't take it anymore !! "boothill..! please... fuck me..!" you cried out, "so eager!" he barked out a laugh, flashing his sharp teeth " of course..anything for you prince.." he said, flipping on your back, then plunging deep himself into you, earning a loud moan from you.

"uhaah!!" a moan ripped from your throat, "nng..ah.. you look so beautiful underneath me like this, suger..." "mo-more!! please..!! more!!" you plead. "shh..your doing so well for me.." he purred in your ear seductively, a whine escaping your lips, too fucked out to give a answer, "m' goin'.. fuck ya..' so good you won't be walkin' for days" he says, your body trembled, and your walls clinched around him.

"ooh..? gonna cum..?" he asked, all ready knowing the answer, "I want cha' to let go, give me a big one..~" he whispered in your ear, "nnH..!! I-im going to cum, I-its to much!!~" you said, "nngh!!" you arched your back, as you twitched uncontrollably, coming all over boothill and the sheets.

"good boy.." he purred, licking his lips, kissing you on the forehead, drool dripping from your mouth, your eyes fluttering close, but he woke you up with a slap on your thigh "who said we were done??" he grinned, patting your cheek, a couple more rounds won't hurt right ?? >:3

[nectardaddy]

suger. . . suga + dodger 

˖* YOU MAKE LOVING FUN . . . fleetwood mac

sweet wonderful you // you make me happy with the things you do // oh, can it be so? // this feeling follows me wherever I go

˖* AESTHETICS . . . idiots to lovers 

finding acorns and rocks “just because,” morning coffee, conflicting music tastes, to be loved is to be known, whispering crude jokes in the other's ear at awful times, stolen kisses, “shut up - make me," healing their inner child, burning rosemary, green aventurine and tigers eye, potheads, hacking their lungs out only to tell them “hit it again, you won't," boxed wine, cursed memes, giggling at 3am when they can't sleep

˖* OH. LOVE? . . . kxllswxtch

seven days of the week twenty four hours a day // I'm wondering where the time goes while I'm stuck in your gaze // I'm begging you girl don't leave cuz I won't survive the rain

want to see more? . . . find it here