#summer in orcus

[dyinggirldied]

I need these guys' vibe

Also, there's this website where this archetype can be summarised up as "Girl Underground" and lists out a long list of examples . Have a check out (https://girls-underground.com/the-archetype/)

[bibliophilecats]

Read recently: Summer in Orcus by T. Kingfisher

T. Kingfisher (at least her non-horror books) have become an auto-buy for me and I am working my way through her bibliography. Even the books I do not love are way better than I lot of other books.

This one has a great premise, and I was excited for it. And I was looking for a short, quick read.

Unfortunately, I had a really hard time getting into the story and it took me forever to read the book. I was close to dnf but did not want to give up (there were little morsels I loved, such as the werewolf). And I am glad I continued because the last 1/3 was amazing. So overall, I am finishing this book on a high, with a good feeling and recommend it to anyone - with the notice that the first half was very slow for me.

[thedupshadove]

Most attempts to throw cold water on the “Child Chosen One” narrative: Hey, being a Child Chosen One would really fuck you up, wouldn’t it?

Summer in Orcus: In order for the Child Chosen One to do their job effectively, you need a child who is already fucked up. 

[meganwhalenturner]

2023 booklist for Small Business Saturday

Middle Grade

Simon Sort of Says by Erin Bow

I am going to pat myself on the back forever because I hosted the writing retreat where Erin started work on this book. Not many people say, "I'm going to write a middle grade novel that will shine the light of a white hot sun on gun violence and I'm going to make it funny." But Erin did. And it is amazing.

Teen

The Luminaries and The Hunting Moon by Susan Dennard

At the launch for The Hunting Moon at Schuler's Books in Grand Rapids, they asked me to describe The Hunting Moon in six words and I said, Magic, Monsters, Witches, Impossible Family Expectations.

This unabashedly teen book was a breath of fresh air for me. Return to a simpler time when teenagers just had to risk their lives killing monsters in enchanted forests while struggling to win approval from people they are beginning to think have really questionable values.

Summer in Orcus by T Kingfisher

Ursula Vernon writes books for younger readers under her own name and everything from YA up to adult under the name T Kingfisher. I could recommend any of her books, but Summer in Orcus has a special place in my heart. Summer's mother wants to keep her safe, so safe that when Baba Yaga offers Summer a portal to the magical realm of Orcus, Summer is through it like a shot.

Adult SF and Fantasy

The Adventures of Amina Al Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty

A retired pirate! Who happens to be a mother! Who is torn between her desire to live a nice safe life with her daughter and, you know, piracy.

A Memory Called Empire by Arkady Martine

When the new Ambassador from tiny Lesl Station arrives at the capital of the far flung galactic empire, her first job is to figure out who murdered her predecessor. I loved the convolutions in Martine's world building and story telling.

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Lorena Garcia

It's the Jazz Age in Mexico. Someone's been keeping the Mayan God of Death trapped in a trunk at the foot of the bed. And that someone's granddaughter, who is utterly sick and tired of her horrible relatives, has just opened that trunk.

Where Late the Sweet Birds Sang by Kate Wilhelm

This is an old one. This book was published in 1976 and has recently been republished. I read it thirty years or more ago and have never forgotten it. It's a thoughtful, brutal, beautiful book about the decay of civilization and the importance of individuals, individuality, and the preservation of diversity.

Warrior's Apprentice by Bujold

If you like Gen, I think you'll love Miles. 😁

[ereborne]

1, 2, 4, 8, 12, 15, 17, 20, 26, 32, 44, 46 (weird or genre-defying books), 47, 50

Thank you for so many prompts!! This was so fun to do and now it is so long. I hope it's as good to read as it was to write out!

1) Name the best book you've read so far this year: I answered Aftermarket Afterlife by Seanan McGuire to digs just a moment ago, but I'm glad you asked too, because honorable mention goes to Inheritance by Nora Roberts. It came out in November, not technically 2024, but time is fake and 2024 is just beginning anyway, so I'm counting it. Inheritance starts pretty slow and for a bit I was wondering how it was going to manage a satisfying resolution, and then I realized she was doing something new! (unfair. she's been building to this since 2015, it's just that now is when it's starting to really click with me) Instead of a trilogy with three couples whose romance arcs each get centered in their own book, this is going to be a trilogy focusing on unraveling the family curse/haunting, with the four main characters growing tighter as a unit (and forming their two romantic pairs, of course) throughout. I really like the characters and I am delighted by the curse/haunt storytelling. Cannot wait to see more.

2) Favorite fantasy book(s): this is so hard. okay, okay, brief rundown. brief. I can do this. bookshelf by bookshelf, I think. we'll take as granted everything by Seanan McGuire, sure. Bayou Moon and Magic Strikes by Ilona Andrews. By the Sword and From a High Tower by Mercedes Lackey. Bryony and Roses and Summer in Orcus by T Kingfisher. The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley. Deep Wizardry by Diane Duane. The Long Patrol-Marlfox-Taggerung by Brian Jacques, which I always read in a shot as if they were one book. Similarly, the Protector of the Small and Magic Circle quartets by Tamora Pierce, and the Icewind Dale trilogy by RA Salvatore. Tangled Webs by Elaine Cunningham. The Return of the King by JRR Tolkien (really all the LotR trilogy, but even I cannot say I sit and read them all three straight through as if they were one). The Wee Free Men and Thud! by Terry Pratchett.

4) Favorite science fiction book(s): The Ship Who Sang and Dragonsdawn by Anne McCaffrey. Ancillary Mercy by Ann Leckie. Exit Strategy and Network Effect by Martha Wells. The Galaxy and the Ground Within by Becky Chambers. Rescues and the Rhyssa by TS Porter (also a favored queer fiction book, but I love the alien worldbuilding so much it has to be here)

8) Favorite queer fiction book(s): Humanity for Beginners by Faith Mudge. Nightvine by Felicia Davin. the Harwood Spellbook series by Stephanie Burgis (also a down-in-one-shot series). Holly and Oak by R Cooper.

12) Favorite horror book(s): I haven't read too many horror books, so my pool is limited here, but The Twisted Ones and The Hollow Places by T Kingfisher both gave me the shudders so bad.

15) Which genre(s) are your favorite? Fantasy! I love all the fantasy subgenres, and especially the magical realism overlaps.

17) Favorite finished book series: How finished is finished? A lot of my serieses are made up of several trilogy/quartet subsets together in a world. hmmmm. The Protector of the Small quartet again by Tamora Pierce, I think.

20) Where and how do you find new books to read? I mentioned in my reply to digs that I'm subscribed to a ton of newsletters, but I feel like I undersold their effect on me. I don't know how many I'm subscribed to--just sat here and off the top of my head counted to eighteen that post at least weekly and I'm so sure I'm missing some--and I love having that regular infusion of book progress and reviews and writing thoughts and commentary. I really do recommend that folks subscribe to their favorite authors.

26) Favorite novella(s): Silver Shark by Ilona Andrews. The Seven Brides-to-Be of Generalissimo Vlad by Victoria Goddard. Jackalope Wives by T Kingfisher.

32) Name your favorite author(s): massive overlap with everybody else I've listed here. who haven't I mentioned? Jennie Crusie, Jayne Ann Krentz, JD Robb (which is a Nora Roberts penname but they've got distinct enough works I want to list them out separate). Patricia Briggs, Patricia C Wrede, Max Gladstone, Gail Carriger, Nalini Singh. And Ed Greenwood, about half the time.

44) The book(s) whose stories have become part of your very makeup: The Lord of the Rings trilogy by JRR Tolkien. Watership Down by Richard Adams. Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer Crusie. Silver Borne by Patricia Briggs. The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett. Phoenix & Ashes by Mercedes Lackey. The Hands of the Emperor by Victoria Goddard.

46) I like (weird or genre-defying books), recommend me a book to read, please: First thought was the Humans Are Weird series by Betty Adams, though that might not be what you mean. They're intensely fun collections of 'humans are space-orcs' style vignettes. Maybe more directly books that are weird would be the Craft Sequence series by Max Gladstone and Hammers on Bone by Cassandra Khaw. Very toothy complicated magical realism. And my favorite genre-blending books are always the Elemental Masters books by Mercedes Lackey. A Study in Sable for instance is equal parts a Sherlock Holmes story and a retelling of The Twa Sisters fairytale, and also a coherent installment in an ongoing historical fantasy series about elemental mages in early 1900s England.

47) What are the last three books you read? Indexing by Seanan McGuire, Die in Plain Sight by Elizabeth Lowell, Pirate's Honor by Chris A Jackson

50) What kind of book have you never read but always hope to find at some point in the future? This is such a fascinating question. I don't know that there's anything in particular that I've always wanted and never found, but there are things I'm always looking for more and better examples of. I'm extremely picky about soulmate AUs, so a good one especially captivates me. Oh, or a really well-handled impromptu adoption! Child characters and bureaucracy are both tricky to write and things I know a lot about, and when they're done well they hook me so hard.

[prestonmonterey]

if elijah is steve's villain arc then joshua is miles' even more pathetic arc

WAIT OMG YOURE SO RIGHT

miles is my pathetic boy <333

i read the script last summer and claimed him as my silly little twink and my friends were like "what about the lesbians????"

i also really like orcus and need to draw more fanart of him but thats just bc demon (adam maybe?)

vera or vira or whatever her name is would be yvonne i guess?

chuck could mayyybe be sydney but only on pa night bc hes short <3

fuck i like forgot most of the plot ok umm

could agnes or tilly or lilith somehow transfer to marisol and salem? idk... agnes could like mayyybe be salem

could kalliope be juniper? being british is like almost the same as not understanding human emotion right? /j

[thisbelongsto-nohbodys]

A co-worker said that even as nerdy as he is that he’s never played D&D, so I offered to DM a short-form campaign over the summer (on Fridays after we get done with work for the day) and we just had a session 0 with another co-worker. The characters are a Goliath Fighter and a Dhampir Rogue, I asked if they wanted a sidekick to help and they chose to make a cursed priest who became a monkey to be the group healer (they’re silly).

Now to make things easier to get the co-worker into D&D more I wanted to use his love of horror movies and make this short campaign horror themed. So, based on the background of the Dhampir character where they have a demonic parasite in their brain and craves raw flesh as a consequence to said new dhampir change, I was thinking to go that route to focus most of the storyline and so I’m trying to figure out which Demon Lord would be responsible for it. I thought at first it’d be Zuggtmoy but then it might seem a bit too “Last of Us” (and I’ve never played that and don’t want to reference it anyways”, the next is Jubilex so then molds and oozes would be the main monsters which I could make scary but idk if it’d b a good fit. The last one I can think of is Orcus which to me seems like it’d be a bit of a cop-out to use the Demon Lord of Undeath for a horror themed short campaign.

Idk what I should do and hoping that maybe the D&D side of tumblr could help but atm I’m gonna focus on a basic session 1 and hope I can figure out what to do before Session 2

[balioc]

BALIOC’S READING LIST, 2022 EDITION

With one exception, this list counts only published books, consumed in published-book format, that I read for the first time and finished. (There was one serious-seeming book that, as far as I know, exists only in free-floating PDF form.) No rereads, nothing abandoned halfway through, no Internet detritus of any kind apart from the aforementioned, etc.  Also no children’s picture books.

1. The Blue Castle, Lucy Maude Montgomery

2. The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, Priya Parker

3. The Girl and the Mountain, Mark Lawrence

4. There Is No Antimemetics Division, qntm

5. Dreamsnake, Vonda N. McIntyre

6. War and State Building in Medieval Japan, Various (ed. John A. Ferejohn and Frances McCall Rosenbluth)

7. Legal Systems Very Different From Ours, David Friedman, Peter T. Leeson, and David Skarbek

8. The Revolutions, Felix Gilman

9. Age of Ash, Daniel Abraham

10. When the Sea Turned to Silver, Grace Lin

11. Summer in Orcus, T. Kingfisher

12. The Thousand Eyes, A. K. Larkwood

13. Kingfall, David Estes

14. Surrogation, Suspended Reason

15. The Hands of the Emperor, Victoria Goddard

16. The Remains of the Day, Kazuo Ishiguro

17. Hakkenden -- Part 1: "An Ill-Considered Jest," Kyokutei Bakin

18. Claws of the Cat, Susan Spann

19. Blade of the Samurai, Susan Spann

20. Flask of the Drunken Master, Susan Spann

21. The Ninja's Daughter, Susan Spann

22. Betrayal at Iga, Susan Spann

23. Trial at Mount Koya, Susan Spann

24. Ghost of the Bamboo Road, Susan Spann

25. Fires of Edo, Susan Spann

26. The Discord of Gods, Jenn Lyons

27. All the Seas of the World, Guy Gavriel Kay

28. Don Rodriguez: Chronicles of Shadow Valley, Edward Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

29. Streets of Gold: America's Untold Story of Immigrant Success, Ran Abramitzky and Leah Bousyan

30. Harrow the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir

31. Perhaps the Stars, Ada Palmer

32. Dreadgod, Will Wight

33. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, Christopher Moore

34. Manfred, George Gordon, Lord Byron

35. Friend to Mankind: Marsilio Ficino (1433-1499), Various (ed. Michael Shepherd)

36. Locklands, Robert Jackson Bennett

37. The Jade Setter of Janloon, Fonda Lee

38. Spring Snow, Yukio Mishima

39. Against All Gods, Miles Cameron

40. Nona the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir

41. Slouching Towards Utopia: An Economic History of the Twentieth Century, J. Bradford DeLong

42. The Golden Enclaves, Naomi Novik

43. The Rise of the Dragon: An Illustrated History of the Targaryen Dynasty, Vol. I, George R. R. Martin, Elio M. Garcia Jr., and Linda Antonsson

44. A Garter as a Lesser Gift, Aster Glenn Gray

45. The Night-Bird's Feather, Jenna Moran

46. Absolution by Murder, Peter Tremayne

47. The Lost Metal, Brandon Sanderson

48. Shroud for the Archbishop, Peter Tremayne

49. Yamada Monogatari: Demon Hunter, Richard Parks

50. Yamada Monogatari: To Break the Demon Gate, Richard Parks

51. Yamada Monogatari: The War God's Son, Richard Parks

52. Yamada Monogatari: The Emperor in Shadow, Richard Parks

53. Pulling the Wings off Angels, K. J. Parker

54. Laurus, Eugene Vodolazkin

55. The Ogre's Wife: Fairy Tales for Grownups, Richard Parks

56. The Dream of a Ridiculous Man, Fyodor Dostoevsky

Plausible works of improving nonfiction consumed in 2021: 7

[“plausible” and “improving” are being defined very liberally here]

Works written by women consumed in 2021: 23

Works written by men consumed in 2021: 29

Works written by both men and women consumed in 2021: 4

Balioc’s Choice Award, Fiction Division: The Remains of the Day

>>>> Honorable Mention: Laurus

Balioc’s Choice Award, Nonfiction Division: Slouching Towards Utopia: An Economic History of the Twentieth Century

>>>> Honorable Mention: War and State Building in Medieval Japan

Series Award for: A Deeply Flawed Work of Luminescent Genius, No Really, This Thing is Artistically and Intellectually Important and Its Flaws Only Make It More So, Dear God What Were They Thinking Not Giving It the Hugo -- the Terra Ignora books, by Ada Palmer

Series Award for: I Cannot Begin to Articulate How Mad I Am That These Books of All Books Have Become Cultural Touchstones of My Local Social and Artistic Circle -- the Locked Tomb books, by Tamsyn Muir

Series Award for: I Must Give Credit to a Brave Author Who Makes Unexpected Moves and Tries New Things with Every Book, Even if Everything She Tries is Terrible -- the Locked Tomb books, by Tamsyn Muir

**********

Fiction-wise, this was actually a better year than you'd think from just eyeballing the list. The overall numbers are still below par, and there's too much shlocky formulaic mystery-series-type stuff; but there was a lot of real quality in there. I had real trouble deciding on my top two, and I ended up not giving either prize to a book by Jenna Moran writing at her normal level of quality, so that says something. There were a number of books that disappointed by not being amazing but that I'm still glad to have read (e.g. Summer in Orcus, The Hands of the Emperor). Even the shlocky formulaic stuff had more merit than you might expect, in many cases.

Serious contemplatively-emotional litfic is real good, at its best. Turns out.

Non-fiction-wise, this was a shitshow of unparalleled proportions. I read almost nothing, and what I read was uninspiring. (I started s number of things that I failed to finish, which didn't help.) I seriously considered making this a "no award" year. I am once again asking for your recommendations for really good, deeply-informative, blow-your-mind-open non-fiction.

[bibliophilecats]

Read this month: August 2023

A lot of ebooks this month.

C. Santoso, C. Busby - The Bookstore Cat

L. + J. Hermes - Out there, zwei Schwestern auf der Suche nach einer besseren Welt (eARC)

T. Kingfisher - Summer in Orcus

K. Tordasi - Die Reise zum Mittelpunkt der Magie (eARC)

S Lee - Fake Dates and Mooncakes (library)

I am still not overly happy with my reading - I want to read so much more but there never seem to be time or spoons. At least my overall enjoyment of the books has improved compared to previous months. And no DNF.

[looktheresbooks]

JOMP Day 3: Summer

An excuse to convince more people to read Summer in Orcus??? I’ll take it!

“The dragon was vast, impossible, ancient, built on the scale of whales and mountains. It would take a hero to slay one.

I would not wish that on you, the Forester had said, and Summer understood why at last. How monstrous a thing it must be, to be that hero. Like being the wasp that stung the Frog Tree to death. To be so small and to single-handedly unmake a great and wonderful thing.”

— from Summer in Orcus by T. kingfisher

[tragedyc]

GALLIA LUGDUNESIS, 21X BC

his charge is the emesan julia domna. a wretched woman with immediate ties to the high priest of baal and consequently, a finger dipped in every political controversy within range for her benefit of leverage. she calls him forth through arcane summons, blinded in self-absorption as most mortals are. upon the bind of their contract, she avows to become the sole empress dowager of rome, inciting a decades’ long campaign for mephisto, who’s forced to navigate her droll ravings as she steadily ascends to power.

he takes on the guise of a humble slave, cassius, under septimus’ charge and is thereto assigned to domna, a well-educated young man, infinitely loyal to their names. aelian is born of praeneste, a gleaming orator under the tuition and guidance of septimus himself. this is how their paths cross. his guise suits to pass under radar, scrounge for secrets of domna’s husband and his associates alike. he comes to aelian in the middle of the night, where opportune is ripe like quinces and pomegranates of the season. despite his burning eyes and foul stench of liquor, his soul tastes clean, bland and sweet in a way that disinterests him, but his words and mind emerge sharp. mephisto, despite the necessity of his guise, the sweet, effectuated mannerisms of his guise , is thoroughly intrigued.

it’s not a matter of if, but when and how frequent his mannerisms slip through the guise. there is a quality of aelian’s self-assured, yet quiet preach that draws him in, and he wants, to scrub off the stubborn layers of deception and bury facets of himself just underground so that aelian may peel the grime away to discover him. he spends most of three summers idyl, with julia domna insistent on his cover, his official duties do not tend to the empress consort herself, but the cleanliness of her quarters and the tidiness of her belongings. she calls deep into the night, where she or her husband are wounded or faltering, for his presence to aid their strength and knit their wounds.

privately, he is grateful. he spends most of his free time piecing aelian together like a puzzle. his writings are a window into his philosophy. the drawn comparisons between human and animal, the use of biological anecdote to moralize the person; such writing he relates sorely to, because there is at the heart of his identity, he finds there the beast and ego intertwined. his pressing, consuming hunger tamped by a sudden longing for companionship. mephisto thinks that maybe by way of closeness, by experiencing life from minute perspective, may he learn the act of mortals, embrace the pain of mortality and the maxims of being, however feigned.

his admiration is not well hidden. aelian takes the time to discuss his works with him in great detail, which is how they jointly develop an observatory method for his second work. aelian believed higher purpose in his work, to give a true reflection of civilisation as it was, a depiction of the time, for hands of the future. the idea seems to sweep aelian into the eye of the storm, and by the end of the year, the tenth month sweeps into the first, and he has a thick pile of succinct notes at his table. mephisto hungers for it, that passive reception of the ordinary.

when aelian starts to compile the greco-roman myths, mephisto finds his own moniker listed, speaks, “what are your thoughts on orcus?”

he laughs, honey-tongued, “his work may be fearsome, subjectively malevolent, even. but i do not doubt the fact that he is just.” fingers trail the crude depiction of his one-eyed guise, almost pondering the way he appears. “it is a necessary evil, for there to be a punisher of broken oaths in a world of good. without mediating matters of the underworld, there would be chaos for all innocent parties of the land.”

his eyes are bright as they regard him, under the weight he feels transparent. “and pray tell, what do you think on the matter? you show a fair bit of interest in my work, cassius; i’ll make a disciple out of you yet.”

“it is a wretched curse, on the being forced to bear it. i don’t suppose a deity would enjoy it’s work very much. the obligations and sanctions doled by those above are arbitrary and cruel.”

“that is...” he taps his lower lip and cassius’ eyes follow, “rather unorthodox. i assume you know best to keep what is said in confidence,” he laughs, “but privately, i shall say it is what i like best about you. your ideas seem...out of touch with the time that they are utterly unique, and lovely because of it. yet, you appear to me... lonely somehow, connected intimately with the ideas and wishes of man in a way that most people are not, yet removed from the very same.”

he shakes his head, helpless at the observations. all he can do is speak the truth, “we have spent much time together, you and i. my psyche is unsafe, i fear you will one day open pandora’s box to flooded with a naked truth, and oversee the components of my being that render me wretched, and find me one day to be a fraud.”

“you flatter me,” aelian replies, “i promise, that no matter what you reveal, i only hope to observe. despite the difference of our statuses, i feel you understand me in a way many of my peers do not. you call me a lost soul, while others label me misguided, lost in observation and no judgement.

“i apologise, if i have led you to feel discomfit, that you feel no right, or worth to be open to me.” he steps forward into mephisto’s space, grips onto his hands like he is something tender and worthy. mephisto lets him, “i hope someday i may peer beyond your reservations.”

to something so heartfelt, mephisto only notes the one course of action.

---

“what you said earlier,” aelian says after a while, after they’ve spent time breathing, no talking at all, “i’d have to agree. there are beings intended to shoulder certain obligations, however disproportionate, and it does not always appear fair. judgements of the gods are harsh and beyond mortal comprehension. take zeus’ punishments to prometheus’ for gifting humanity with the privilege of fire.

“i don’t suspect it is for us mortals to comment upon the fairness, or morality of matters; gods have the clearest understanding of the truth. the only option we have on earth is to examine the beauty of what gods have designed for our stead, and receive the wills and word of the gods through its design.”

fingers stroke the pooled moisture at his back. he shivers, curls into the warmth as an excuse.

“what say you, cassius?” hushed and sleepy.

“for all the answers i’ve provided you with, i’m clueless,” mephisto concedes, “it’s been on my mind.”

fingers card into his hair, insistent, and he proceeds with the gentle insistence, dipping into the warm curve, body against body.

silence draws out, and upon hearing the heartbeat slow, breaths long and face slack, mephisto leans closer still. with the excitement of a child, secret a lingering temptation between lips.

“that is what must be believed, that there is purpose to suffering,” mephisto amends, voice muffled against the closeness. after careful consideration of the words. quietly, a graver tone than aelian has, will ever hear in this guise, too solemn for a boy claiming to be not more than twenty summers, “i would surely go mad with such reception; in engaging my powers i have equally shackled my self. without respite to the desire … i fear of losing myself.”

there is no reply forthcoming; slumber has taken his confidante. he eases closer, whispers into skin, a soft plea he would never so choose to utter again in his long life, “i wonder if you would understand? or if you would turn me away from your step with knowledge of the truth.”

---

as co-empress, domne orders him to stage the disgrace of caracalla's wife, which he easily does so easily by framing her paterfamilias with treachery. he oversees the execution of plautianus for treachery, and thusly plautilla is seen exiled, tortured, beat and then strangled by his own hand. takes great deal of satisfaction in the success, eyes gleaming as the life is taken from the piteous man, and he is one step closer to glut. to the new empress dowager’s satisfaction. her reign is tyrannical and controlling of her two sons, though her public front is largely successful as to have her receive the title of ‘pia felix augusta’. a great honor.

as contracts go, validity and scope depend heavily on the wording, and as a heavily disadvantaged party, he takes any leeway he may get. there is much this woman has subjected him to, and he would be inordinately pleased to have the last laugh. thus, when he hears of caracalla’s plot to murder her beloved kin, he inclines an ear with great satisfaction. as she had ordered the disgrace of caracalla’s family so many years ago, history was to rewrite itself.

he takes satisfaction in informing her as such, watches her misery seep out of her soul in waves.

---

when he returns, he takes his familiar perch in aelian’s quarters. he grows more aware of it every day, how farcical cassius truly is, and how many facets of his demonic heritage he’s kept shadowed away from sight. however much he would like to show aelian his true colours, the difference from the truth is too wide a gap to cross naturally. much time is spent circumnavigating the lies. he has slaughtered many today, in the guise of battle. he stares down at clean, neat palms; hidden carnage. wonders what he would think of his casual brutality.

that night, aelian’s return is soured, coloured by a weighty gaze. there is no contempt, but mephisto sees the heavy waves of suspicion marring his usually bland scent. he steps into the room with confrontation in mind, and mephisto does nothing to prevent him. “you have been sighted by troops; wanted for the murder of septimus’ kin. i would hardly believe so, since i have only known you as a humble slave to the line of septimus, yet you have conveniently shirked your duties in the armoury all evening. i do not know how you have travelled so far; even the speediest of chariots would not have carried you to and back from the scene fo tragedy. yet, this is too much of a coincidence to brush under the rug.”

silence ticks between them. he sees aelian’s mind turning, yet the judgements and connections beyond the shutter of his eyes are unknown. mephisto is rarely afraid, but today he fears the worst.

“who are you?” there is no warmth to be found there.

“i’ve been what i’ve always been,” while the topic of the conversation is strained, he slips back into familiar habits, winding talk catching up to him in speech, “i have tried best not to hide myself from you. my words do not set out to deceive. rather than uncovering a dastardly plot, you have lifted the blinds, and you are assaulted by the glaring light of truth,” he is tumultuous under the searing heat of judgement. he has not thought to lie, and remaining aligned with his insistence to tell truth, there is no good justification to spare.

“i dare say it so,” he does not humor the discussion, cuts to the chase with a simple sentence. there lies a deep chasm of weariness as he speaks. “how much of you is unknown to me? what of you is true, you heritage, your name, your face? i dare say i have allowed foul play to soil my chambers, as you stand so unguardedly in my space, as if to suppose i would harbour a deviant, a traitor to the good name of septimus - cassius, you must know this, you ask too much of me.”

“aelian... do you recall summers past, our conversation about the necessities of evil? please let me speak the truth before you dole your final judgement,” desperation-driven truth emerges.

silence is taken as permission to speak. when he finishes the iteration, aelian is silent. cassius wonders if he is gripped by grief, with a brief glimmer of hope, but when aelian looks up, his eyes are dry. fierce.

“mephistopheles,” he says, and his name on his tongue is sweet as a knife. “and you have come into my house to ridicule me? to toy with my affections and indulge in my kindness as a false companion … all the while, you keep your contrary alliances and devilish secrets close at chest. i shall scorn you for asking me to dole any mercy; any more than i already have.”

“this life, i daren’t say it lightly, but it truly could make me happy. days i woke to see you beside me, and i … wanted what i could not have. all that i wished for was nothing more than the ability to forget,” he concedes, “but this ache within me … it is inexplicable. it compels me to do things without reason, and as such my desires are powerful; my abilities to enact them stronger yet. you were - are - the one person i never hoped to hide from. but such is selfish of me; i know you are a good man, and that your conscience would not allow it. i do not ask for your forgiveness.

“i would hope for nothing more to stay. i have tried,” he says, and there is nothing but weariness; “tried my best to follow customs and live peacefully the best i could, but there is nothing that can curb my instincts.” and he reaches out, to place a shaking palm, warm against aelian’s cheek, “not even you.”

aelian’s eyes are wide, troubled; he hates to be the one that to evoke such an expression, smooths the crease of his brows gently. aelian does not flinch, in spite of his knowledge, and his eyes have softened into something like regret. aelian leans into his touch, and mephisto knows that he will miss this. the slant of light through the talc windows awash features in a soft glow, “you know me well, to say with surety i would not forgive you. i obey by maxima and aphorisms, and such reigns supreme in my conduct. you tempt me with weakness.”

“we are of different worlds, you and i. mortals cannot understand or seek to judge the motivations of gods, you have told me so,” he steps forward, lingers in this bubble of nostalgia. it surprises him when aelian chances a press of soft lips to his brow, the ridge of his nose. the kisses are tender and slow, unspoken goodbye. mephisto cannot help himself, angles so that lips may touch.

eyelashes cast his cheeks dark as he lowers them. chaste, almost, if mephisto did not know him better. he daresay he looks disappointed, “i also recall the words you uttered in supposed secrecy; i shall admit, your troubles that carved into you that night, i tried to understand you to no avail. i see now.

“i hope you become someone you can live with. I would not be so presumptuous to advise such being, touched by kronos himself or no, but it is my conclusion, from the understanding of the facts.” he pauses, laughs privately, “the observation of life as i have been doing.”

mephisto aches. there’s no possibility of that, for all his delusions and bad decision making, he knows that much. he stands there, a beggar for the last morsel of their interaction, no dignity.

slowly, aelian draws back. he walks over to his desk, sits, picks up his iron stylus. the dismissal is a familiar, but the finality of it scares him. he resists the urge to surge forward, to press aelian’s weakness and draw him down into misery with him, plea until hoarse for sympathy. there is no dignity in his thoughts, only unabashed, desperate want. instead, he ignores the way aelian’s shoulders are shaking, the grief dripping like honey over his soul in a sweet tang of flavour, and leaves, closing the door softly, as if he had never been there.

despite the ache, it comes along with the relief of absolution. he is free from expectation, at last. miles out of the city, he grins: a sharp, sad, lonely thing. turns to better distractions - licks his lips as eyes burn bright, hungry for opportune, the world his oyster. his horns and claws curl up from under the guise, the truth rising out of the woodworks. 

he thinks: maybe he’ll travel mysia a while, just for a change of pace.

dark wings spread, and within minutes, he rides the thermals of hot wind, past the sworls of dust, eddying through the civilization. the air overhead is cool and fresh, providing new clarity to his troubles. upward and away from the empire, the cocktail of dreams, envies, desires, and losses; what could and couldn’t be are left behind him.

[oviids]

Okay, so I GOTTA ask; out of all those books, which ones are gonna stick with you the most? Any real surprises or "I wish I could read this for the first time again" type stories?

hi thanks for asking!! normally i would try to give some specific answers but im really tired from work and, well, it would probably become an incredibly long post, so i'm just gonna post a list of books i read this year that were really good and/or i really enjoyed:

Empress Orchid duology

Iron Widow

Elektra

Abhorsen trilogy (reread)

Black Leopard, Red Wolf

The Burning God

The Rise and Reign of the Mammals: A New History, from the Shadow of the Dinosaurs to Us

The Goddess of Nothing At All

Legends & Lattes

Blood Scion

The Lowest Healer and the Highest Mage

When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain

Legendborn

A Song of Wraiths and Ruin duology

A Fatal Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum: Murder in Ancient Rome

Manhunt

Kill 6 Billion Demons vols 1&2,

The Wolf Den

The Daevabad Trilogy

Kindred: Neanderthal Life, Love, Death and Art

A New World Begins: The History of the French Revolution

Summer in Orcus

The Haunting of Heatherhurst Hall

The Red Palace

Mirror Visitor Quartet

Beloved

Spear