#super unrealistic but hh

[x-ladydisdain-x]

I really wanna see mcr tonight :(

[sapphic-agent]

I'M BACK WITH MY HAZBIN HOTEL BS!

I think one way Vaggie could be saved as a character is if in one of the later seasons she ventures through Hell to find other Fallen Angels like herself and wants to either help them get redeemed or find a place in Hell.

This would provide Vaggie the character growth she desperately needs AND would help give her an identity outside of Charlie.

Plus it's super unrealistic that Vaggie seems to be the ONLY Fallen Angel in Hell when there could clearly be more.

I've actually wondered whether Vaggie can really be counted as Fallen before.

When Lucifer Fell, it was dictated by Heaven. It's unclear as to who was behind it (God himself, probably, or Lucifer's other siblings if they exist in HH), but we see him and Lilith banished. He Fell because he brought sin and evil onto Earth, disobeying Heaven's will.

In comparison, Vaggie's banishment to Hell is a lot different. Her wings were ripped off (interesting to note that Lucifer still has his) and she was abandoned and outcast by the Exterminators.

I'm going to say something crazy and make the claim that Vaggie never actually Fell. I just feel like Adam doesn't have the authority to do so. And if she really was Fallen, could he really give her a place back in Heaven like he offered to do so?

Also, Vaggie still bleeds gold blood. Lucifer doesn't bleed, so it's hard to compare to him, but I'm assuming his has been red since he Fell. That's just speculation on my part.

I think the Exterminators just abandoned Vaggie in Hell, I don't think she's an actual Fallen Angel.

(Viv or any other crew members might have confirmed that she did and I'm wrong, in that case disregard this)

BUT ANYWAY I got off track.

I agree! It would be nice to see Vaggie find Fallen Angels and either find a place for them at the hotel or reflect on how they've adjusted to life in Hell. Some people think Carmilla is one, which is a theory I actually like a lot. Unlike the other Overlords she seems less bloodthirsty and has more penchant for kindness (I know Rosie). It would also explain why she made an Angelic Weapon for herself and knew the Angels' weakness (fighting like they can't get hurt).

She also just looks less like a demon, I guess. Now that I'm looking at her, she actually shares more similarities with Vaggie and Lute than any other demon in Hell. The grayish skin, the white hair. Even their face shapes seem a bit similar. But hey, that's just a theory, a film theory.

This would make her interactions with Vaggie a lot more meaningful

[milk-addicc]

This question will be NSFW. Phoenix and Miles are 35 now. As grown men, do you think they had s*x (not with each other I precise). Phoenix seems pretty innocent back then when he dated Dalhia/Iris but during his disbarred years, I can see him having not serious but mature relationships. For Miles, it's hard to tell if he's still virgin or not. It's seems like the kind of guy who wants to have his "first time" with someone he really loves... what do you think?

/ cw NSFW, mentions of sexual activity

ah, well in most depictions seems like they both have one-nights now and again and i guess thats realistic... on that part of the world hhh.

perhaps i can buy the idea that Phoenix do that type of thing in his disbarred days (its like 7 years long lol) but i like to think he just stick with the “classic hand” more often than trying to go out and date anyone, not only he got a responsibility to raise a kid on his own, he probably still have a slight fear with pursuing some stranger? idk hhh. 

as for Edgeworth, i don’t see him as sexually active? but not completely inactive either, he got hormones kicking in now and again he gets wet dreams etc but he doesn’t go to bars and do that stuff? like its not his priority hh at least to me, so maybe he uses his hand too... very rarely. idk it may sound unrealistic and maybe i’m being naive but i live in a small part of the world where this kinda stuff is taboo, you gotta marry before you have your “first time”, and you can even get arrested for doing this without marriage permit so i guess that plays a factor in my views to it being completely normal, to me of course.

in conclusion? perhaps i can see Phoenix having one-night-stands but.. personally i’d just see him being on his own with his hand, same with Edgeworth but barely. i have this funny idea that yes i know he’s opposed to marriages (technically, specifically to women in original Japanese context bc same sex marriages is still not legal in most of Japan), but i bet he’d be one of those who’d pull the “wait for marriage” excuse lmao

but its not like this matters, this doesn’t affect their actual relationship dynamics whatsoever, they’re still the wholesome endgame. the smut stuff and their bedroom games are simple thoughts i’d like to keep for myself like a bonus feature hhhhh.

(also apparently i'm probably like the super minority who has this boring and traditionalist view on their sex life so don't think too much about it hh, almost all nrmt fans i see are the complete opposite of mine lol)

[aggressive-positivity-network]

Omg you also like HH! Thoughts on Varlie? (Charlie x Vaggie) Personally I love me some canon lesbians plus they're super sweet

I actually think that Varlie was confirmed canon at one point (with Charlie being a lesbian and Vaggie was bisexual) but I could be totally wrong.

As much as I would love for Al and Charlie to have some action - because as I said in a previous ask, I would jump off a bridge if a suave man in a suit asked me to - it is extremely unrealistic given the dynamic of the characters, their sexualities, and their personalities. Alastor is both asexual and extremely adverse to forming any meaningful relationships. The only person I could see him even romancing would be Angel, because they are both inexhaustible when it comes to their goals and stubborn as mules. And Husk? Eh. He doesn’t seem like the romance type, and I certainly couldn’t see him being romantically involved with his employer.

So, in short, I think based on their behavior in the pilot, I think Vaggie and Charlie are perfect for each other. It’s the heterosexual trope of cautious man bubbly woman flipped on its head, and I can always appreciate that. We need to see more tropes switched around like that.

You know what else I would like to see? Husk and Nifty being this father-daughter item. Alastor probably couldn’t care less, and would leave her to her own devices most of the time, so it would make quite a bit of sense for Husk to be some sort of caretaker. Not that Nifty needs a whole lot of caretaking, but she can be naïve at times, which can lead to hijinks that involve Angel playing pranks on her or something.

And while we’re on the subject of Nifty, I don’t think she is a normal damned soul. She’s more of a spirit or some sort of magical servant. So she would act a lot like a small child instead of someone that has done any real wrongdoing. So this leads me to think of all the child stuff that would have to be dealt with by demons who are severely under qualified to be watching children. Husk almost giving her vodka before Charlie screams at him to stop, Vaggie having to protect her from sleazy pedophile demons, Alastor reading her Of Mice and Men and then having to deal with the nightmares afterward, Angel casually explaining sex to her with zero filters, Charlie just fussing over her...ugh, it would be so cute!!!!

I also have this headcanon where Alastor hates soap operas, but Angel loves them, so this unstoppable demon king will have to put his psychopathic spree on hold to transmit the most cheesy soap operas on earth, pretty much pantomiming their movements while doing so. He hates it, but Angel won’t shut up unless he does it.

[marvelousstevetony]

No one asked for this but I just had a cute thought about sick, grumpy Tony and Steve being both a tease and a total sweetheart. So yeah, this is what happened...

Steve/Tony, first kiss/getting together...

—————————

“Bless you,” Steve said, not looking up from his book when Tony let out a quiet sneeze from the opposite end of the couch. 

The brunette didn’t respond, just kept his focus on the StarkPad in his hands, his eyes running down the screen, moving quickly from side to side. His fingers were tapping uncontrollably, the crease between his eyebrow intensifying the longer he went on. His tongue peeked out through his lips, a sign of deep concentration and, to some degree, stress.

It was uncharacteristically quiet in the Avengers Tower this Saturday afternoon; Thor was off-world doing Thor-stuff (Steve had quickly learned not to ask too much — he struggled enough with adapting to the 21st as it was, no need to add the rest of the Universe to Steve’s must-catch-up-on-list. Not yet, at least). 

Bruce was somewhere in Asia last time Steve spoke to him. He’d said something about science that Steve hadn’t understood, but he knew how happy it made Bruce to have someone to talk to when Tony wasn’t available, even if Steve didn’t quite follow his rambles with all the scientific terms. 

Natasha and Clint were off on a mission, undercover, Steve presumed. He wasn’t told anything else apart from the fact that assistance from the rest of the team wasn’t necessary, so it was probably some sort of stealth-mission (there’s not really anything secretive about the Hulk or Thor or Iron Man, so Steve got why the two super-assassins were chosen for the job).

But that left Steve and Tony. Tony was, as expected, always working regardless of the other Avengers. There was always something with Stark Industries, even on the weekends when he was actually allowed to take some time off. Another idea he just couldn’t put down, another minor imperfection he had to fix, another deadline Tony definitely couldn’t miss if he wanted to stay clear of an angry Pepper. Tonight, the latter seemed to be the case. 

And Steve… Well, Steve really hadn’t much to do. He went on his daily run, the running dead as Tony so cheerfully labelled it (Steve got the reference), and he’d even spent a few hours in the gym afterwards. But Steve was after all a grandpa, again dubbed by the Man of Iron himself, who woke up at 6 AM every day, and that left him with a lot of time to work out before any of the other Avengers saw the daylight. When the clock struck 11 AM Steve had usually finished with his daily routine, and on quiet weekends like this he really had nothing better to do than to read one of the many books that had gotten released while he was in the ice. 

This one was a suggestion from Clint. Steve had been reluctant at first, because what’s so special about Harry Potter? Isn’t it just a lot of unrealistic and magical nonsense? But he’d given in when Clint had lectured him about how Harry Potter is so much more than just magic; it’s a separate Universe, an escapism, the greatest book-series ever written! And Steve must admit, there was something quite exceptional about it. Not that he’d ever tell Clint that he was right. 

“Tschh’uh!” 

This time Steve looked up to find Tony with his face buried in the crook of his elbow, pressed into the soft material of his oversized hoodie. 

“Bless you,” Steve offered again, trying to catch Tony’s gaze but inevitably failing to do so when Tony not so much as acknowledged Steve’s comment. He just sniffed once and then turned back to the screen. 

Steve’s eyes were locked on Tony a few more seconds before returning to part where Harry, Ron and Hermione were brewing the Polyjuice Potion. He didn’t get very far, though, as another set of sneezes commanded his attention.

“eh- eptCH’hh! snfSNF! huh-uhHISH’oo!”

Tony let out two sneezes in rapid succession, his entire body shuddered as he let the release overcome him. The short build-up had warned Steve just in time to see the genius’ face crumble, raising his arm to shield his surroundings. 

Tony groaned lowly, obviously trying to avoid Steve noticing, but the blonde just raised an eyebrow at the miserable man in front of him; nose bright red, eyes watery, hair disheveled, and overall a good representation of what Steve thought to be a complete mess. 

When Tony sniffed harshly, supposedly to stifle another bout of exasperated sneezes, Steve untangled his and Tony legs — he hadn’t even noticed the fact that their legs had been wrapped in each other’s, touching gently — got up from the couch, and stepped out of the living room.

As soon as Steve was out of sight, Tony quickly wiped his nose with the cuff of his hoodie and scrubbed his face, secretively, so Steve’s wouldn’t think more of it. 

A few moments later, Steve re-entered with a glass of water and a box of tissues, dropping the latter into Tony’s lap and setting the glass down on the coffee table. He then leaned back into the softness of the cushions and continued reading. 

Not even two minutes after, he heard a muttered for fucks sake and raised his eyes only to see Tony’s eyelids fluttering and his nostrils visibly trembling.

“Huh- Hh! Hdt’shh! Huh’USH!”

Tony sneezed off to the side, once again aiming at his elbow. 

“Bless you, Tony,” Steve sighed and audibly closed his book, crossed his arms, and cocked an eyebrow at his suffering friend.

For the first time, Tony looked up at him, rolling his eyes.

“Y’know, there’s a reason I went to get you tissues,” Steve quipped and nodded towards the small, blue box. “So you’d use them.”

“And there’s a reason I’m not using them, Steven. snfSNFF! They’re not necessary,” Tony replied, unconsciously swabbing at his nose again.

“Oh yeah? I think that sniffle and the fact that you’re rubbing at your nose right this second tell me otherwise,” Steve’s smirk widened when Tony quickly drew his hand away from his face, “oh, and never mind the continuous sneezing, of course.”

Tony rolled his eyes once again, and Steve chuckled lightly. “Seems like someone’s caught a cold,” he said more like a statement than a question.

“It’s just allergies,” the older man shrugged nonchalantly, closely followed by a full-body shiver. 

“Allergies?” Steve questioned curiously and Tony hummed in confirmation. “Since when does allergies cause a fever?”

Tony frowned and crossed his arms defensively. “I don’t have a fever, Cap. I’m perfectly healthy. As right as rain,” he assured with a fake confidence that made Steve grin.

“You’re a terrible liar, Stark. I can literally feel the heat radiating off from you,” Steve insisted, “and I think those shivers are a pretty clear give-away.” 

“It’s cold in here. Not everyone’s their own personal furnace,” Tony snarked, and Steve’s lips curled upwards. “I think I juh- snff! just forgot to c-close the wihhii- heESHHsuuuh! Ugh.”

Tony groaned and threw his head back after fighting a loosing battle against the insistent tickle. He’d just managed to fight it off long enough to once again bring his arms to his face.

Steve reached out for the tissue box, and instead of grabbing one and handing it to the man in need, he threw the entire box at him, hitting him on the shoulder. “Then stop sneezing for God’s sake!” Steve said playfully.

“Ow!” Tony mocked a whine, but he couldn’t help but smile. “You can’t just throw random objects at me, that’s basically abuse.”

Steve laughed, shaking his head fondly, once again reaching out for the box that had landed on the floor, and this time, he did pull out a few and offered them to Tony, who was reluctant at first but accepted them just as his breath started catching again. Squeezing his eyes shut, he cupped his nose and mouth with the tissues, giving into the outburst. His body doubled over with the force of three strong sneezes, leaving him woozy and glassy-eyes.

“Jesus, Tony, bless you,” Steve said, sounding more concerned this time. 

“Christ, Rogers, would you stop saying that?” Tony grumbled, rejecting the sympathy Steve’s sparkling eyes and soft, gentle voice exuded. 

“You need to rest, Tony,” Steve ignored Tony’s request, the tone of his voice leaving no room for discussion. “You can finish whatever you’re working on later when you’re feeling be-“

“I’m fine, Steve!” Tony interrupted with an annoyed ring to his voice, making Steve roll his eyes and clench his jaw in frustration. “Besides, if I don’t finish this before 6 PM Pepper will literally rip my head off and then I would be even less fine.”

“For fuck’s sake, Tony, give yourself a break, would ya?” Steve cursed unintentionally, at which Tony’s raised an eyebrow in surprise. “You’re sick.”

“I’m not sick!” The genius snapped and was then launched into a violent coughing fit, bending over in pain, clutching his chest tightly as he wheezed.

Steve rushed from his end of the couch to Tony’s side, protectively laying an arms around the older man’s waist and grabbed the glass of water from the table. When the coughing died down and Tony could breathe normally again, Steve handed him the drink persistently. This time, Tony didn’t put up a fight.

“Thanks,” he mumbled after taking a careful sip, the cool liquid soothing his throat. 

“Of course,” Steve spoke softly, rubbing his hand comfortingly up and down Tony’s lower back. “So, what were you saying about not being sick?”

Tony elbowed Steve in the stomach but it really didn’t give off the effect Tony had wanted it to as hitting Steve’s rock-solid abs sent a stab up through Tony’s arm, like had he smacked it into concrete. He didn’t want to give Steve that satisfaction though, so he bit back the pain. “Shut up… it’s just a cold.” Tony admitted, going a little shy.

Steve just chuckled and smiled dopily, that half-smile Tony had always loved.

“I’ll talk to Pepper. You shouldn’t overwork yourself, especially not in this state.”

Their eyes locked for a second and Tony felt the blood stream to his cheeks. If anyone asked, it was from the fever. But come on, how could he do anything but blush when Steve looked at him like that, with his ocean blue eyes, his blinding smile and that all-American boyish charm? God, Tony was so screwed. 

Suddenly, they both realized how close they were; Steve’s hand still resting on the small of Tony’s back, their faces no more than an inch apart, eyes staring deeply into each other, and before they knew it, Tony’s lips were on Steve’s, placing a gentle kiss onto them.

It was Tony who pulled away after abut 5 seconds, causing Steve’s head to fall slightly forward into the air, prompting him to open his eyes. 

“h-tSCHH’ew! Oh… heh- etsch’uh!”

Bursting into laughter, Steve wrapped both arms around Tony, pulling him into a squished hug. “Was kissing me really that bad?” 

Tony also laughed, the tension from earlier completely gone by now, transformed into playful flirtation. “Yes, Steve, yes it was. I think you need another try, you know, to make it better,” Tony said, batting his eyelashes and smirked smugly.

“It’d be my pleasure.” The smile was present in Steve’s voice as he leant in closer, brushing his nose against Tony’s bright pink one. “Bless you, by the way,” he mumbled onto the brunette’s mouth before softly pressing their lips together again.

[loquenomedices]

Lu instead! ♀️

Why I like them - bc she’s a baddie, most of her lines are gold - she is very loyal towards guzmán and her situation makes me feel super bad bc she loves him unconditionally and she tries so hard ugh - ambition and fashion and perfectionism, she’s basically blair, what’s not to like - fun to watch, she’s made to make you love the way you hate her - she has chemistry with everyone so that’s great 

Why I don’t - obvious, she’s a pretty shitty classist racist condescending selfish and mean person  - she also never apologized to nadia  - but like... i still like her *sigh* what can i say doesn’t everyone like a bitch?

Favorite episode (scene if movie) - 2x07 and 1x08 (and 2x05 god the break-up scene? instant heartbreak) i can’t pick ok?

Favorite season/movie - 2 as always

Favorite line - never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary. - do you know why i stay thin? i tell myself that i’m fat. you know why i’m the best? i’m never satisfied. - 2x07 speech, duh - also, “pathetic” hh

Favorite outfit - frida kahlo costume - 2x02 black dress - the dress, headband and green bomber jacket she wears in s1 when she goes to guzmán’s house and he tells her he’s in love with nadia (1x07?) 

OTP - well this is complicated. i like lu with guzmán, i really do, but realistically we all know that’s not gonna turn out well. lu and valerio, as much chemistry as they have, won’t be together for obvious reasons. so like, lu and guzmán if i have to choose. they’re a tiny bit like chuck and blair except probably even worse. strangely compelling, despite the fact that guzmán can’t kiss for his life.

Brotp - carla, duh. also, omar.

Head Canon - she didn’t kill polo that was dumb af

Unpopular opinion - ok so i liked watching her in s3 while it lasted (then again, there wasn’t much other stuff to like) but honestly they really overplayed her character’s image, some of her lines were cringey, and the friendship with nadia, as enjoyable to watch as it was, was also unrealistic af. basically bitchy lu>unnaturally sweet lu.

A wish - i just wish they didn’t have her kill polo with zero buildup and logic and a very questionable motive that was just so stupid. wish for the future? get a good therapist probably bc you know, she killed someone.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen - idk they already fucked her up

5 words to best describe them - bitchy, ambitious, determined, perfectionist, disillusioned

My nickname for them - i read a fanfic once where her childhood nickname was lulu and i think that’s so cute!

[if-i-ever-was]

HH is back !!!! Ugh. Words cannot describe how much I love this couple. They are so fricking adorable it hurts. My heart is warmed every time I read this story, it's so wholesome and lovely it makes me wanna just curl up and smile for days. They are so in love and them being able to express it is wonderful. I sometimes forget that they've only known each other two days, it seems like a lifetime. They are literally soulmates. And eating desserts in bed is goals. Lola is such a

queen, absolutely perfect for Alex and I think I love her as much as he does. I need them to finally admit that they have a need to see each other again, that they absolutely cannot let this opportunity of true love slip away. But I know its coming. Alex is definitely dropping hints, easing her into the idea slowly (whether he is doing it consciously or not) encouraging her to quit her job (hello, travelling around the world with him taking photos is every girls dream lola take ittttt), his dream of them on the beach.. I wanted to cry a little bit when Lola was thinking about if she'd remember him, the way he felt. Stop dancing around the subject and fucking admit you need each other you idiots!! I cant wait to read more of their story, it's such a joy. Love you lots 💓💓💓

Well how lovely to greet you off of anon, haha! 😏 You’re so sweet! I always worry it comes across super unrealistic for them to be in love already haha, but it’s been so intense, they’ve had the weekend of their lives. They’re 100% in love with the idea of loving each other, for sure, I’m glad that comes across in my writing. I know, me too. Always say to Sarah like I can’t believe it’s only been like 48 hours lol. I’m proud of her so thank you so much. At first I wasn’t sure who she was supposed to be or what her exact personality was, but overtime I have formed a more and more clear picture of her and it’s so reassuring that people like her. It’s definitely become easy to write her. Alex is so unsubtle isn’t he. Deffo dropping hints, he knows what he wants now, for sure. I know, was so proud of that dream section. They are such stupid idiots!!!!! Thank you so much, love you 💓💓💓