#superman mentioned a book that seemed ''appropriate'' about him so he went and read it...

[mamawasatesttube]

(adventures of superman (1987) #506 // young justice (1998) #7)

i like to think he went and read peter pan after leaving metropolis specifically because clark mentioned it.

[tallochar]

I tackled the Supes & Wonders column first (and promptly messed up the reading order, I say now, after the fact)

Stuff I wrote down while going through them:

Action Comics (1938 – 2011) #644

George Perez / Roger Stern writing, with pencils by Brett Breeding / George Perez

The first page did a great job of catching me up with what’s been happening previously in just a couple of narration boxes. Appreciated that, because it made me relax (I was a bit worried I’d be dropped in the middle of something and not know what was going on) and it starts with Superman going to Smallville (always a plus in my book, I like his hometown).

There’s a lot of summarizing going in, in the early stages of the comic, which, again, was actually quite good for me as a new reader because it eased me back in with the recapping.

Other than that I am not sure how I feel about this story. It was interesting and self-contained and sort of felt like the end of an arc or someone tying loose ends with a character that had been shelved for a while in previous comics (that’s the vibe I got at least) but all I could personally see was the potential in said shelved character and I felt a bit disappointed at how they got shelved again at the end of the story, possibly permanently.

There were some interesting identity shenanigans going on (if seen through Clark’s limited outsider perspective), including some talking about how Matrix had been one gender to begin with then revealed to be a shapeshifter who at baseline might possibly / probably have no gender, who then became male as Matrix took on the identity of Clark, and Clark wondering which pronouns would be appropriate and what does changes meant, which I would not have expected a comic from 1989 to touch on even as superficially as this did.

Hope they did interesting things with the character later on, but it does not seem like I’ll be seeing them in next issue. Also, very amusing to me, Matrix’s take on Clark’s costume was a Batman grey-and-black take on it.

Adventures of Superman (1987 – 1996) #457

George Perez / Roger Stern writing, with pencils by Dan Jurgens

This is called "Intergang Strikes Back!"

Since the Intergang was mentioned as something Clark dealt with the night before he went to Smallville and given that the same time is writing it, I am going to assume this actually chronologically happened before the Action Comics story.

So at this time Metropolis has six boroughs and an 11mil people populations *jots down note*

Oh this definitely happened before Action Comics, shoot, would have been better if I’d read it first, because this is actually dealing with Matrix-as-Clark-physically and the mind-link between him and Clark (referring to them as ‘him’ in this instance because those are the pronouns everyone is going with, but I will use ‘them’ when talking about the character in general).

Nothing much to say about this one, it was very much a ‘recap and introduce the new problem’ kind of comic with the conclusion set up to happen in Action Comics (I will remember from now on to read AoS first and AC second) but unlike the other comic, this one was focused on the mind-link between Clark and Matrix and how this affected Matrix / basically took them over until they subsumed themselves into being Clark.

Which I will admit, was kinda heartbreaking even without knowing anything else about it.

I don’t know the character of Matrix at all, but I feel for them since what happened to them was pretty much a mind-meld gone wrong with them enacting what Clark was doing in Metropolis, which ended into imploding the life they were trying to build for themselves (though it is of course very much Not Okay that they were doing it by taking over Clark’s identity).

Not really sure what's going on with Jimmy but he was at least trying to be nice about getting rejected?

Superman (1985 - ) #34

Jerry Ordway writing, with pencils by Kerry Gammill

… and this one seems to come before AoS.

So the order is Superman / Adventures of Supreman / Actions Comics, got it.

It’s nice to see stories that all interconnect with each other and follow one right after the other (the things that happen in this one are reference in AoS) but I wish I hadn’t accidentally started reading them in reverse order XD

The rest of the book was about the children he saved (the one who gets both his parents showing up to rescue him has a mom is named Maggie and she’s a cop and I only realized at the end that this was the same Maggie Sawyer I had read in the pages of Gotham Central what feels like a lifetime ago but is actually quite ahead in the future when compared to this comic) from an eldritch creature straight from 1880s London (literally).

Also did not know until now that Superman is vulnerable to magic, that’s a new thing I’ve now found out and it’s really interesting to me!

Something all these comics stress is how busy Clark is at all times, how there’s always someone needing him or someone asking him for something, he even came back from space and didn’t even get to greet his parents first (it’s mentioned in this comic that they found out he was back from the TV news). He’s clearly getting overwhelmed by the demands of being Superman and that’s interesting to chew on if not deeply explored in the comics (yet?)

All three Supes comics had nice drawings, but I particularly enjoyed the style of Kerry Gammill, personally. Something about the jagged lines just tickled my brain right.

(Also poor Jimmy, mentioning he had just cleaned up Clark's apartment after the latest thrashing and now had to clean it all over again. Like damn, that's way too generous of him to keep doing it for Clark over and over.)

Wonder Woman (1986 – 2006) #33

George Perez / William Messner-Loebs writing, with pencils by Lee Moder / Chris Marrinan

This definitely feels like something I need more contest to understand, possibly go back a few issues or at the beginning of the run and see from there. I am honestly not sure how I feel about a lot of it (I think Diana has a point but also they are referencing stuff I have not seen happen in this run so I am not sure of the circumstances and I can see why the backstory works but the underpinnings are … they are just bugging me on more than one level and it’s more than I have the brainpower to unpack right now). The art was good, the story was interesting, I just feel like I am missing too much context to properly appreciate it.

I’m going to call it a day on this and then I’ll tackle GA / GL / JLA / JLE probably tomorrow.

[sparkie96]

It’s ridiculously late where I’m at and I need to sleep, but I feel like if I sleep and not ask this I’ll forget. 😱 But I have an idea a short story if you’d be willing to write it where Leon is giving brat energy to one of the guys (Chris, Dante or Vergil your choice I’m gain for any of them) and it end with smut or almost smut. The brat energy could even be at the wrong time right place etc. This has just been on my mind for a while.

It’s kind of short but it’s Halloweeny and has Leon in a Catwoman costume! I have this headcanon that will forever be one of my go-to’s where Leon is just a dummy when it comes to comics and other nerdy things, so when it comes to Halloween, Chris mentions wanting to do a superhero costume team-up with someone. Chris mentions Captain America or something like that.

Leon, who has a massive crush on Chris and was invited to the party, is like “Catwoman is a thing...and she’s got a nice costume and she’s with one of those hero guys so...I’ll surprise him with that! Maybe that’ll grab his attention!”He’s not very bright in that department, but he’s got the spirit...a shame the costume is riding up his ass and Chris teases him about it. 

Rated T-M for Language and Implied Sexy Times and Mild Nudity. _______________________________________________________ Why Leon decided this would have been a good idea, he didn’t know, but he hoped Redfield liked this...because he probably was never doing this again nor would this costume ever see the light of day after tonight. He had sent Chris ahead to the party, the older man offering to meet Leon at his apartment and drive there together, but Leon had declined the offer. He wanted to surprise the man, but he was having a bit of an issue squeezing into the skintight catsuit. Did he buy the wrong size or was it just the tight leather outfit messing with him? Should he forego the underwear and wear nothing underneath? ‘Cause his boxers felt like they were in the way...but was that really appropriate for the BSAA Halloween Party? Would anyone really care? 

Leon slipped his legs out of the tight material of the pant legs in frustration, throwing the costume back down on the bed before removing his boxers. He did glance at himself in the mirror, noticing that his belly was looking a bit soft due to the drinking and constantly buying take-out. Maybe his New Year’s Resolution would be to cut all that out? 

He scoffed at that and shook his head, “That’s assuming the DSO leaves me alone and the assholes knock it off with the bioterrorism…” 

He really did want to get better...but each year it was getting harder and harder and he was just...so tired. He was getting older and the world didn’t seem like it was getting better any time soon. And he really couldn’t deal with another bright-faced therapist patronizing him about looking at the brighter side of things. Or going to a doctor or psychologist that would prescribe him some bullshit medication from pharmaceutical companies that probably did dealings with the same people who created the viruses. 

But that was most likely his paranoia talking...and maybe he should just swallow his pride and seek help. Not everyone was untrustworthy…

“Jesus Christ, Kennedy…” Leon scolded himself, snatching the costume off of the bed, “Just shut up and put the fucking costume on so we can get drunk at a Halloween Party.” 

Although that was what he told himself, that wasn’t the reason he was going. Chris was there, and Leon may or may not have liked the man as more than just a friend. He had heard from Claire and Sherry that Chris wanted to do a “Superhero Themed” Costume, dressing as Captain America or something. So, Leon got it in his own head that if he dressed up as a superhero himself, maybe a love-interest to the character Chris was dressed as, Chris would notice him and maybe admire him. 

The only problem was; Leon knew jack shit about superheroes.

He didn’t read comic books or any of that, outside of the Batman or Superman Movie that came out once every five years...and had fallen asleep during that one movie with the pilot guy and the warrior princess...maybe Batman was in it? They were fighting some monster. Captain America wasn’t in it...or was he? Wasn’t it all the same? He had Googled it, but none of it made very much sense, so Leon honestly didn’t have a clue. He just went to the Halloween store, saw a costume that looked appealing and like a superhero, it had to have been because the Batman symbol was on it, and bought it. 

Leon gave a breath of relief as the costume fit now that he wasn’t wearing his boxers, the catsuit sliding on with ease. He managed to zip it up to under his collar bone, deciding against zipping it up all the way. He looked over his appearance in the mirror. 

He just hoped he didn’t look too ridiculous.  ______________________________________________________________

The party was pretty loud and Chris was having an okay time. He wasn’t too crazy about the party itself, but he supposed it was better than being out on an assignment and worrying about BOWs. It was a helluva lot better than working on paperwork or watching monitors all night, that was for damned sure. Though, he hated constantly shaking hands with people from the DSO and TerraSave.

He especially hated the selfies and shit, people acting as though he was some damn celebrity. He also hated the girls and even some guys as they shamelessly flirted with him and swooned over him “How Handsome” or “How Fitting” he was in his costume. It made him uncomfortable and had him looking out for Jill or Claire. Hell, even Parker or Sherry would have been better company. 

He wasn’t one for costumes and Halloween, but Claire had told him to stop being a brat and just pick something simple. Or something that he loved. Zombie costumes were banned, so he couldn’t just splatter paint on his uniform and call it a day, so he picked the Captain America costume instead. Captain America was one of his favorite superheroes growing up and the outfit was sort of like wearing his own uniform. 

That and the big ass shield that came with it came in handy when it came to grabby people.

He sighed as he listened to one of the agents from the DSO drone on and on about Wesker and other things Chris really didn’t feel like talking about, looking around at the party goers. To his surprise, or maybe not surprise, he hadn’t seen the Golden Boy of the DSO yet. It wasn’t officially Halloween, so Leon wouldn’t have been at the Presidential Trick or Treat thing they did in DC every year. And he knew Leon was coming because the agent texted him to decline the offer to ride together, saying that he would meet him here instead.

The tapping on his shoulder made him nearly hit the person with his shield in fright, but the person blocked the hit before it could land. He saw black gloves tipped with silver claws on the edges of the shield, leading up to black sleeves and a black cowl tipped with cat ears, goggles covering the person’s eyes. 

“Whoa, Big Guy!” The person chuckled, pulling up the goggles so they could sit on his head, “Easy there. Almost took my head off.” 

Chris’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head at the sound of the person’s voice, “Leon?!”

Leon S. Kennedy stood before him in a skintight black catsuit with a whip wrapped around his shoulder, a utility belt with a silver cat head as a buckle, black knee high boots, and even had the cowl with the cat ears AND a cat choker..and was he wearing eyeliner? The suit was unzipped slightly, his collarbones exposed. The gloves had silver claws on the fingertips, which were now drumming on the plastic shield.

Leon chuckled, “The one and only. I heard you needed a partner for your superhero costume, so...here I am.” 

Chris gave the agent a once over before giving a little chuckle, “So...you’re Catwoman?”

Leon frowned at that, “Yeah...do I look weird? Too much?” He looked down at himself, looking over his costume.

“No, no, it’s not that!” Chris insisted, “You look great! It’s just, uh, Catwoman isn’t Marvel.”

Leon raised a brow, “...huh? What the hell is Marvel?”

Chris chuckled, “It’s a comic book company that makes characters like Cap, Iron Man, Spider-Man, all of those. But Catwoman is actually Batman’s girl over at DC Comics.”

Leon wrinkled his nose and furrowed his brows, “What’s the difference?” 

Chris offered him an arm, which Leon accepted, “Well...there’s a lot of differences…” 

Chris continued on, the agent he had previously been stuck talking to not even noticing that Chris had left. Leon listened to the best of his ability, not really understanding what the hell Chris was talking about, but it was Chris, so he listened regardless. He did pick at the wedgie he was getting from the ridiculously tight outfit every time it rode up his ass.

“So, Batman isn’t an Avenger?” Leon asked as they picked up punch at the punch bowl, Chris grabbing a plate of snacks while Leon held their drinks, “That’s stupid.”

“How?” Chris asked, “He’s a member of the Justice League so he doesn’t need to be an Avenger.” 

“Now, what the fuck is the Justice League?” Leon asked, making Chris laugh, “What the hell is with all these teams? Why?” 

“Ask the guys and gals who made them, I don’t know.” Chris laughed, trading Leon a plate of food for his drink. 

“So, I wore this tight ass outfit that gives me a wedgie every five minutes for nothing?” Leon asked in mock annoyance, “Fucking nerds.” 

Chris shrugged, “If it’s any consolation, you pull it off really well.” 

“Thanks.” Leon said before sipping his punch, smacking his lips together and then making a face, looking down at the green liquid, “This is spiked.” 

Chris tasted his own drink, swishing it around in his mouth, “...I can barely taste that. How did you?” 

Leon merely raised a brow with a smile, sipping it some more as he and Chris went over to the recreational area where party furniture was set up. Leon received several compliments along the way, Leon thanking or nodding his head toward them in acknowledgement. What he didn’t appreciate was the drunk who slapped him on the ass on the way by, Leon spin-kicking him in the chest. 

The man was sent flying backward, the people there moving out of the way, looking between Leon and the guy in shock. Several party-goers murmured amongst themselves or were stunned silent. Leon blushed in partial embarrassment, but kept his angered glare, muttering curses under his breath as he apologized but then went back to Chris, who looked just as shocked as everyone else. 

“What?” Leon asked, “He slapped me on the ass!” 

Chris shook his head and thus shook himself out of his trance, “Uh...well, he did deserve it...but that…” 

“What?” Leon asked, brow raised. 

“That was kind of hot.” Chris admitted. 

Now it was Leon who was stunned silent, the blush of pink deepening to a shade of red, “...really?” 

Chris nodded, giving a bashful smile, “I’m not gonna lie...I’m both frightened...and aroused. I want to kiss you...but I don’t want you to…!” 

Chris was cut-off by Leon tossing his snacks and drink before moving forward into Chris’s space, wrapping his arms around the man’s neck and kissing him. Chris’s eyes widened in surprise, giving a momentary muffled protest, but then relaxed. He dropped his own snacks and drinks in favor of wrapping his arms around Leon’s waist, pulling him into a tight embrace as he reciprocated the kiss. 

They stayed like that for a moment before parting for air, Leon wearing a grin, “What about now?” 

Chris blinked as he breathed a deep breath, blushing himself, “...definitely aroused. Wanna...get out of here?” 

“I thought Catwoman was Batman’s girl?” 

“Fuck Batman. He can have Catwoman.” Chris chuckled, holding Leon’s hand and leading him out, “I got Catman.” 

Leon laughed as he followed Chris out, “Gonna give me a treat, Big Guy?” 

“Definitely ain’t giving you a trick.” 

“Can you do any tricks in the bedroom?” 

“It’s Trick OR Treat,” Chris chuckled as they went to his truck out in the parking lot, “Not Trick AND Treat.” 

“...Can I both?” Leon asked in a teasing tone. 

“Keep it up and you’re gonna get a spanking.” 

“That’s an extra treat.”  ______________________________________________________________

The next morning, Leon woke up with a sore ass and wearing only bits and pieces of his costume, still wearing the cat cowl and claw tipped gloves. He felt a heavy body on top of his own, Chris resting on his chest still wearing his costume minus his boots and gloves. Big, muscular arms were wrapped around Leon’s waist, hugging him tightly even in sleep. The man’s shield was on the floor next to his whip, next to the tattered remains of Leon’s costume. 

Leon looked around and groaned as the sunlight bled through the sheer curtains, but he actually didn’t feel annoyed. He was actually satisfied and felt...happy...and apparently in Chris’s apartment. Movement on top of him and the sound of Chris yawning indicated that the man was stirring from sleep, drawing Leon’s attention downward. 

“Morning, Cap.” Leon greeted softly as tired brown orbs looked up at him. 

Chris wore a sleepy smile, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, “Morning, Cat. Last night was…” 

“...last night was fun.” Leon chuckled in agreement, “Best tricks and treats I’ve ever gotten.” 

Chris nodded and chuckled in agreement as well as he carefully climbed off of Leon. He looked down at the floor, apologizing for ripping Leon’s costume. Leon shrugged as he sat up, stretching his aching limbs with a yawn of his own. He smiled, saying that the costume was probably gonna rip at some point during the party if they had stayed. Better Chris’s bedroom than in front of everyone at the BSAA. 

“But you can make up for it by making me breakfast.” Leon teased with a wink. 

Chris smiled and nodded once more, stripping out of his costume and into some lounge clothes, “Only if you’ll stay.” 

“Deal.” 

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Season Zero: All Your Friends are Cursed

You know what? It’s been a while, lets revisit Zero.

For those new here, I’ve been also very slowly going through Season Zero alongside the show we are more familiar with, which is not at all the same as the other seasons. If you want to read just the recaps of Zero from the beginning you can do that by clicking on this link right here. I think I’ve only done like 3 or 4 so far.

OK. It’s been...a time since we ventured here to this very weird place, where were we?

So, first off you may have noticed there was a wee gap in updating, this is mostly because I burned up all my backlog when I got sick for two weeks (and I’m still hella tired) so...I’m playing catch up and this is a hobby, so it takes a back seat. But also, it’s partially because I was like suuuper conflicted with what I should do about that logo. Like, I did feel like I had to blur it just because I don’t want there to be confusion if the images ever get pulled away from this post, but I was seriously considering just repainting every cap because it sure bothered me a whole lot.

It was Illustrator OCD Problems that in the end don’t matter, but you can see my quandary of the right corner in the rest of these. Anyways, thanks Team Millennium for the fandubs so I don’t have to cap over subs. Y’all did a good job, and I get why they need to watermark since like...it’s Youtube so every random bot channel is stealing any other video getting clicks.

Also, this took a while because it’s like over 60 caps long. These Season Zero episodes are just...so much content. They’re so much. And I thought this one handles some interesting themes, so grab yourself a snack, because this is gonna be a little bit of a marathon. I could split it into two but like...I don’t know where to split it, so enjoy. This post is basically a 2 for 1.

Anyway, Shadi’s back. I didn’t really expect for him to be back so soon, but he’s here with a vengeance. He spooks up on Grandpa’s old Egyptologist friend (who’s name I have forgotten) and this guy kind of already knows what’s next.

In this episode, as you can see from the title, everyone is gonna get cursed. Except Miho, but like, I tend to forget she exists. We start off with Yuugi’s Grandfather’s friend getting tossed out a window, which is sort of strange because you figure that this guy wouldn’t let a girl drown down a well for a rare coin (which was the Shadi metric for if you deserve to be eaten by a chair). But apparently we were wrong and Grandpa’s friend has actually been a jackass this entire time.

"Your friend has actually been a jackass this entire time” is another underlying theme of this episode. What’s wild is that Yuugi and his Grandpa are not at all surprised by this revelation, nor do they seem to mind.

Shadi says something cryptic, decides he wants a rematch with the alter ego of Yuugi Muto, and then has the weirdest plan of how to do it. The rest of this recap is basically all of Shadi’s master plan and it’s...pretty...something.

(read more under the cut)

Since we haven’t gotten a Miho episode, I haven’t really gotten a chance to learn what she...is. Right now she just seems like a G rated Cheryl Tunt. Which is probably incorrect, I dunno maybe this girl will end up being their savior but for right now she just kind of uses Tristan for favors and enjoys spooky stuff maybe a little too much. I’m not sure she’s even aware what planet she’s on.

Shadi’s also looking more and more like a bird this episode with the artistic choice to join the brow to the nose with a deep shadow like this. If there’s deeper historical meaning to that, I have no idea. Went on a little deep dive through Google to see if it matches from art and sarcophagi from Egypt and Greece but like...nah. You do get a strong thin nose on golden sarcophagi that can give it a really cut look since it’s usually covered in reflective gold, so that could be it. But overall, joining the nose to brow is something more modern, I think. Just our own touch to make him a spook.

And honestly Yugioh really does enjoy putting a very heavy shadow between the eyebrows, but usually in the form of lots of lines and not a solid black shape.

Youknow we’ve never had the chance to enter anyone’s mind space before. I kind of assumed that no one other than Yuugi even had one. So Anzu’s mind, shouldn’t be too ba- oh

Just take this whole sequence, put some generic lo-fi on it, and you have yourself a youtube channel. It’s amazing how, since the 90′s anime style is back into fashion, this bizarre sequence just hit so many good notes. Those pink and blue flowers matched with a silver metallic tree with weird purple fruit? Not gonna lie, that’s some good inspo material. Maye not the weird bird and terrifying 90′s sun--I don’t know why he’s here--but everything else? Shoot.

This hasn’t come up before and the only guy with G in his name that I can think of is Gozoboro and he cannot be this guy. Maybe just a reference to some comic book stuff because he does have a Superman shape to that G, but I don’t know comics well enough to know if this was a manga Superman parody.

PS now that we know that Tea’s mind is just a lo-fi channel, we now know that Bakura and Marik have just been hanging out next to a weird silver fruit tree, staring at a horrifying green sun and avoiding eye contact with one single green bird for basically this entire Noah arc. Assuming of course that a piece of Bakura is still in there in Tea’s mind, which he may have decided to vacate at this point because what’s he supposed to do in there? Do barre?

Maybe they both just do barre workouts in the tea mindfort while a parrot awkwardly watches.

So Shadi has been just hanging out in Tea’s head for how long? Like half a day now?

She really has always been the ghost uber. From the very beginning. Wow.

Also, speaking of vaporwave, the pink to yellow tint on the irises? A+. That could be your lo-fi thumbnail, easy.

Anyway we are blessed with another tiny Yuugi this episode. I think I’ve mentioned it before but I’ll mention it again, I love it when artists have to draw their characters as small as ants because then the characters are given their rawest, purest form. Which in his case is just being very squat and having hair with spikes.

And then Anzu somehow hides in this closet and tips over a bunch of beams at him. Are these cross country beams? What are these? I did water polo and swim team so I just have no idea what you land people did.

When beams don’t work out, Shadi sets in play the next step of his super evil and sinister plan. Please remember that this guy is a 5000 year old very scary ghost with crazy OP powers.

So then Shadi starts his third phase. So far we’ve had a bunch of poles and a basketball, what will be next? Will Anzu come up with two chalkboard erasers and start pounding them together to make a sick chalk cloud? Will Anzu step on the back of Yuugi’s shoe so his foot falls out? Will Anzu unzip his backpack when he’s not looking so all his books fall out? What dick move will Anzu do?

SOOOOOO

This is a thing that canonically happened in Yugioh.

It’s like finding out that Big Bird once violently choked out Elmo in Season One but now they’re good and they don’t want to talk about it.

Like...this is a lot and it’s not even discussed in this very episode!

The one time.

The one time they should have just ditched.

This is the one time you should just find a boat/blimp, smuggle yourself on board, and then play cards for a straight week with an evil psychopath. The one time.

No wonder they go out of their way to avoid this school for the rest of this show. They ditch just to survive their 1st year of High School.

So they decided to split up which...they’ve made worse choices, and only Yugi finds Tea. What would Shadi’s plan have been if anyone else was up here first?

Reminder that in the second or third episode of Season 1, Joey and Yugi came up here to reminisce the good ol days. I had no idea at the time that the “good ol days” involved being dangled on the edge of whatever this weird contraption is called.

Eat your heart out Jeffree Star and Rituel de Fille, Shadi here did black highlighter first. In 1999. And that nose is snatched.

Appropriately, Honda is still embracing his janitorial duties. Maybe that’s why he’s not a janitor anymore? Because he was getting tooooo into being a janitor? Like if you go janitor while being a zombie that’s toooooo much janitorial.

Another thing Season Zero does that may either be a limitation of their budget or just a limitation of their experience is that, unlike most foreign films, the pacing of the cuts are really quick. Like REALLY frantic. (And yeah I’m generalizing a lot when I say that Western shows and movies have quicker cuts, but lets just say that it’s true about 90% of the time. Not better or worse, just different.)

And like, this was the 90′s, a time period I don’t really remember, but back then we were into bizarre editing. It was a very experimental time in film because suddenly there were a lot of computer and filming tools available for a decent price and people kind of lost their minds. They were getting into doing tons of dutch angles and tons of filters and it was just a real...interesting time in film. It’s gauche by our standards but like...art kind of lives in the time period it’s from and you shouldn’t pull it out and compare it to our current standards too much because--welcome to 90′s Xtreme cuts. Docking something for being too 90′s is like saying that medieval art sucks balls because they didn’t want to use perspective and all their cats look weird. This was the time.

It’s just interesting to me that they decided to attempt to copy this frantic editing style into a cartoon when it’s normally done splicing together live action shots that were done with three+ different cameras. They planned out each cut in a storyboard and drew every frame. It was a lot of work. And it didn’t age well, which is a shame.

And it could have been that because this is a horror show, they decided to experiment. It’s a pretty edge show based on a pretty intense manga. But, it’s...interesting. Can’t exactly cap it, you’ll have to watch it for itself but it’s...interesting. And overall, I honestly feel like I can’t come to any conclusions about the direction that Season Zero editing has taken since I’ve only seen four episodes, so these are just my five cents, don’t quote me on it. I may take back this opinion a few episodes from now.

Y’all this was never told to us until like Season 2. Season Zero told us this in like episode 4. Would have been really nice to have this information a little earlier.

So then we introduce the mummy mechanic of this “game.” Anzu’s plank contraption is tied to these baby mummies. Kind of looks like they’re chocolate mummies you get from the Egyptian museum store. In fact, They might actually be museum gift shop chocolate mummies that Shadi shoplifted up after he killed that fat guy.

Not sure how he set any of this up, especially when he totally botched it with the beams and the basketball and the strangling, but somehow, Shadi got this complicated knot system all ready to go. Weird how Marik was the one on the boat when Shadi has like a degree in knots.

So I said this in the last episode but we get this reoccurring theme in Season Zero where Yugioh is a little boy learning to grow up and be a man, and yet every guy he meets has just a pile of toxic misinformation about how to be a powerful adult. In Shadi’s case, he believes that weakness stems from caring about other people and relying on them for support, hallmarks of mortality. Which is easy for Shadi to say because he’s some 5000 yo undead (I think?) with no friends, unless you count Chair Barney. But Shadi’s pretty sure that attachment to living people will only ultimately hurt you, especially when they’re complete assholes, which most of Yuugi’s friends are. They’re good assholes, though.

It’s a pretty common anime trope and I’m surprised it took us this long to get to the power of friendship. Freakin finally. And there’s nothing wrong with tropes. It’s how stories are made.

Anyways, in case you thought this episode would not address the teachers, they actually did for about 3 seconds.

Neat that this is the most unsafe school in all of Japan.

I am a fan of the combo of blue, purple, green, and very large teeth. I will give Chair Barney that much. Anyway, lets see what game Shadi made.

Oh cool, it’s the game I made to go in my babysitting kit when I was like 11.

Granted, so were playing cards.

Wow everyone is just assaulting each other this episode, damn!

Back on the roof, Yugi calmly wins the game without ever flipping a tile.

Now for some reason I missed the part where he says “two feet” and so I was missing a pair of things and so I listened to this part again and either my sick brain missed it three times (cuz y’all I have had the plague and my recovery has been so sloooow) there were these shapes on the tiles that looked like kidneys and I thought--but it’s not two kidneys, right? and I was like what else is a pair and round and lobby shaped? and then I didn’t really want to go there, and assumed--FEET.

Knowing full well feet are not kidney shaped, but I’m gonna assume he said feet. If he actually said weird monster testicles, you’ll be sure let me know.

And then this happened and it’s pretty legit.

We have never actually addressed the fact that Yuugi forced his friends to like him. Like it’s a pretty effed up origin story that Jounouchi was like like “I feel like very strongly I should be his friend” but doesn’t really know it’s because he got cursed. Kinda figured the show would just breeze by it, but no, here we are, and Yuugi has to face the fact that maybe the only reason he’s not a loner anymore is because he won Jounouchi as a prize for finishing an accessory.

And whether or not Jounouchi would have been his friend no matter what isn’t really what’s being tested, it’s whether or not Yuugi believes that this friendship is actually real, or a curse. Like Jounouchi did try to defend Yuugi before Yuugi finished the puzzle, but does Yuugi know that? He was passing out at the time. It’s a real insecure spot for Yuugi since before Jounouchi he was just a little punching bag playing board games alone in the homeroom. Jounouchi was introduced as someone who was legitimately bullying Yuugi and tossing that puzzle out a window. There’s going to be the underlying fear that Jounouchi would go back.

In the S1 anime, they basically wrote that plot point out of the show or decided that because this was done in Season Zero they don’t need to retread on old territory. Joey, Tristan, and Tea aren’t cursed to be Yugi’s friends, as far as I know.

But this test between the friendship of Yugi and Joey is recreated again in S2 with Marik when they were both tied to an anchor and one had to choose to kill the other or live. But there’s some pretty major differences. This time, instead of Joey being possessed by Marik and being forced to kill his friend, he’s just Jounouchi sans curse.

Although Jounouchi is still somewhat mind controlled as he is just an illusion. He’s just...not as badly mind controlled as the whole Marik thing. This Jounouchi has more motor control and doesn’t seem to have any inner conflict at all. Because again, this isn’t so much Yuugi vs Jounouchi, this is Yuugi vs Yuugi’s fear of being alone again.

That’s a realllllly different takeaway. And honestly, it’s pretty interesting.

Also, instead of Tea with a shipping container over her head, this time Anzu is walking a plank. Really didn’t expect that Shadi would basically turn into Marik but without the cards. And without the underground bunker lifestyle where he kills his own Dad.

The game is kind of hard to show in caps but they have to drop the puzzle in the direction they want the other to walk. Mostly it’s just another reason for Jounouchi to steal Yuugi’s puzzle again and relive the trauma.

Remember that time that Jounouchi tried to get Yuugi to punch him and Yuugi broke out in tears because he didn’t like violence? I mean honestly, out of everyone Yuugi knows. Jounouchi was probably the nicest bully he had. Doesn’t mean Yuugi isn’t incredibly insecure about it.

Instead of fighting back, Yuugi decides to skip his turn. It’s a contrast to the other Joey/Yugi fight because instead of just throwing a fireball in his own face until Joey snaps out of it, Yuugi has decided to rely on trust.

And, much like Grandpa’s Blue Eyed Dragon that would not perform under Kaiba’s reign to kill Yuugi, neither would Jounouchi under Shadi. They even disappear into the aether with the same smoke effect.

And what I think is the most interesting part of this is that the question of “so would they have been friends without the puzzle?” is mostly left open ended.

And if the friendship were solid as a rock, then this whole debate Yuugi has with Shadi wouldn’t even be a debate. Shadi is certain that people will betray you because they can, Yuugi is confident that, even though they do walk you to that ledge, they can change although there is a history of hurt. Shadi was convinced Yuugi couldn’t overcome his lonely past, and Yuugi had to prove that the past can’t hurt him anymore, the past being also his best friend.

Like it’s just something never mentioned in the S1-3, that Yuugi has a lot of issues because all of his friends have been his bully at one point. And like, not to get too PSA, but every friendship has to be looked at by a case by case basis. You can’t generalize and say “everyone who betrays you can change.” But the message here isn’t about keeping any relationship that is toxic, it’s about overcoming the pain of the past.

Also Jounouchi is hella cursed so he won’t be back to his old ways anytime soon.

Kind of hard to tell, but Honda got covered in a layer of white fire extinguisher juice and it’s a look that uhhhh we would never illustrate this way in 2019. Times were more innocent in the 90′s.

Just kidding, they absolutely weren’t, I have no idea who allowed Honda to be drawn this way.

Reminder that Kaiba is just sitting pretty in one of these classrooms, maybe watching Joey’s ass scrape up against the window while Honda completely covered in mysterious white stuff screams bloody mercy. As the teacher teaching this particular class ignores all of this, Kaiba would just be thinking to himself “Aw. that’s fun.”

And so ends this really long but honestly, pretty interesting episode. Season Zero has a lot of rough patches, like I’m probably not going to do every episode of it, but when it connects to what we’re watching its neat to compare and contrast the two. Kind of wish we had more of Yugi facing his past in the current anime but instead it’s Kaiba facing his past. So we...kind of get it? Just with a different character?

Shadi picks up his key and walks away unscathed. Mostly because Yuugi does not currently know how to mind-wipe. Seems that that is mostly a Pharaoh thing and as far as I can tell Yuugi is still just one person with an alternate personality.

Off he goes, that bastard.

Amazing that everyone’s pretty much on good terms with Shadi by the end of S1. Like he’s just kind of a pal that shows up and “accidentally” leads you directly to kill your own Dad when in Season Zero he is...really outwardly evil.

Anyway, that was a hellton of content haha, next week it’s back to Joey dueling a lawyer while Kaiba gets lost in the woods.

[douxreviews]

The Umbrella Academy - ‘We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals’ Review

Right from the comics, by illustrator Gabriel Bá and My Chemical Romance vocalist Gerard Way, comes the winter hit of Netflix nobody saw coming. Picture a love child between the X-Men and the dysfunctional Bluths, and you’ll have the Hargreeves siblings of The Umbrella Academy.

I must confess that I myself have yet the chance to read the comics this series is inspired by, but from what I understand, the premises don’t differ much at all. On the same day down to the same minute, 43 women across the globe give birth despite not showing any signs of pregnancy up until labor. Irregular and reclusive billionaire Sir Reginald Hargreeves scouts out these women and is able to compensate only seven of them in exchange for adopting their children, all which supposedly have been born with unique abilities. For reasons known only for himself, Hargreeves raises these youths, with assistance from an android-caretaker (appropriately referred to as ‘Mom’ by the children) and an exceptionally intelligent chimp named Pogo, into becoming a team of superheroes called ‘The Umbrella Academy’.

Right away, a premise like this that takes its own shot at subverting the superhero genre had my attention and, after the pilot episode, went on to dominate the rest of my week as I binged through its first season. From the get-go, it became clear that The Umbrella Academy is a show that is much more character-centered than it is plot-centered. This is not to say The Umbrella Academy lacks any signs of a narrative, but the series’ heart and soul is the dissection and exploration of the seven Hargreeves siblings who, in ‘We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals’, are reunited years later after hearing the news that father Hargreeves has passed away.

#1: Luther Hargreeves/Spaceboy. The former leader of the Umbrella Academy, Luther is the teammate with incredible super strength that is practically mandatory at this point for every group of superheroes. Presently, he operates as an astronaut exploring Earth’s moon, but returns to Earth once he learns of father Hargreeves’ passing. Picture Superman if Superman wasn’t very talented at inspiring morale or teamwork in his Justice League compatriots, and you’ll have Luther.

#2: Diego Hargreeves/The Kraken. In many ways the antithesis to Luther, Diego is a reckless hothead on the outside, and a bit of a momma’s boy on the inside. And unlike Luther, who maintained complete trust and faith in father Hargreeves until the end, Diego (as well as #3 and #4) has a fiery hatred for their father due to his cold, unfeeling, and abusive manner towards the children while they were growing up. Diego has the ability of accurate and expert marksmanship, and a dagger is his preferred weapon.

#3: Allison Hargreeves/The Rumor. Currently an aspiring actress, Allison returns home with her siblings while in the midst of a divorce, and if that weren’t bad enough, she has also lost complete custody of her daughter. Though her distaste doesn’t seem as passionate as Diego’s, she too harbors resentment for father Hargreeves. She has the ability to alter reality itself by beginning her wishes with the phrase “I heard a rumor…”

#4: Klaus Hargreeves/The Séance. Eccentric, drug-addicted, and in possession of a wardrobe that reaches every point of the spectrum, Klaus could be seen as the academy’s ‘wild card’ currently. On the surface he appears to demonstrate wit and an infectious energy for life, but internally, he loathes father Hargreeves, and blames him as well for being the catalyst for Klaus turning to his unhealthy habits. Klaus has the ability to talk to the deceased, but can only perform this when he is sober.

#5: Number Five/The Boy. Years before the start of the series, Number Five mysteriously vanished without a trace, and soon after, the Hargreeves siblings would begin to go their separate ways. In the pilot, Number Five returns, still in the form of his thirteen year-old self, with a warning from the future – the world will end in eight days, and Five has no idea what causes it. Though Five does genuinely seem to still care for his siblings, so much time spent lost in the space-time continuum has made him cynical, jaded, arrogant, and with a very relatable dependence on black coffee. Five has the ability to teleport, both through space and time.

#6: Ben Hargreeves/The Horror (Deceased). Killed or passed away by unknown means, Ben’s death seems to have been another factor that drove apart the Hargreeves siblings. Aside from the fact that he has an ability to generate monstrous limbs and tentacles from his body, (which he does not relish) little else is known about Ben. Thanks to Klaus’ ability to talk to the dead though, Ben is still able to keep in touch with at least one of his siblings.

#7: Vanya Hargreeves/The White Violin. A talented violinist, Vanya seems to be the only sibling without any sign of an ability. Her entire childhood under father Hargreeves’ roof has consisted more of her acting as an assistant to train the other, powered children, and being told that there just isn’t anything special about her. Despite this, Vanya doesn’t hesitate to return home and reunite with her siblings once she hears the news about Sir Hargreeves. Since leaving home, Vanya has published a book detailing the secrets of the Umbrella Academy, and outing her siblings’ identities as well, which seems to have created a rift between her and Diego.

This is show that has nicely mastered the practice of raising some mysteries and inquiries, while also still giving the audience just enough answers to chew on for the current episode’s forty-five minute run. From the memorial service onwards, the pilot continues with scenes upon scenes dedicated to simply fleshing out these characters: what they’ve been up to since they parted ways, their relationships with each other, which siblings they bear grudges against, and which ones they’re still loyal to. But because this is the introductory episode, it does have its moments here and there that are committed for pure exposition. For example, a scene featuring Vanya reuniting with Pogo and touring the old mansion where everyone was raised abruptly transitions to the two of them specifically discussing how many days it’s been since Five disappeared, which feels less like natural dialogue, and more like something needed to catch the audience up on Five’s backstory.

As a result of this being a setting where individuals with super-powers do exist, it’s evident from the beginning that this isn’t going to be a world exactly like the planet Earth the spectating audience is used to. What’s so engaging about The Umbrella Academy is that it just doesn’t stop there; there’s a lot of effort here put into the world-building to distinguish this series’ timeline as something that bears some similarities to our own timeline, but is clearly another world altogether. By the time we are introduced to Grace, the children’s android caretaker, and Pogo, I actually realized I didn’t even need elaborations from this show on their own backstories; I had just become so accustomed that this was a world with its own unique scientific advances and phenomena. Once you’ve laid down the law that time travel can and does exist, pretty much anything else goes.

Time flew by during my first viewing of this episode and once Five dropped the bombshell that the world is heading towards an imminent apocalypse and the credits rolled, I was hooked. The Umbrella Academy has a great start for those that enjoy nuanced characters as much, if not more, as they do good story-telling. Because only one episode is a little early for someone to be playing favorites, I suppose I won’t mention then how charmed I immediately became with the characters of Klaus and Five. Then again, from the looks of the internet around me, I seem to not be alone with that favoring.

Name That Tune:

Another wonderful takeaway from this series is its soundtrack, which sifts through multiple genres each episode, and while it often falls back on the trope of playing an upbeat tune to an otherwise extreme fight sequence, it has given me plenty of new additions to my iTunes library, starting with ‘Istanbul’ by They Might Be Giants. Never a song I would’ve thought I’d hear play during a gunfight conflict in a coffee-and-donut shop, yet here we are.

Hargreeves Humor:

Luther: “Look, I know you don't like to do it, but I need you to talk to Dad.” Klaus: “I can't just call Dad in the afterlife and be like, 'Dad, could you just stop playing tennis with Hitler for a moment and take a quick call?'"

Five: “An entire square block. Forty-two bedrooms, 19 bathrooms, but no, not a single drop of coffee.” Allison: “Dad hated caffeine.” Klaus: “Well, he hated children, too, and he had plenty of us.”

Five: “Guess I missed the funeral.” Luther: “How'd you know about that?” Five: “What part of the future do you not understand?”

Aaron Studer loves spending his time reading, writing and defending the existence of cryptids because they can’t do it themselves.

[rwdestuffs]

Done dirty: Blake.

So……… Her best disguise is putting on a bow?- That’s like Superman showing up to the daily planet in a pair of glasses, still in his full suit, and introducing himself as Superman while trying to claim that he’s not at all related to the Superman who regularly bench-presses planets!

Oh Blake Blake Blake Blake… What the fuck is up with your character?

You wanted to go to Beacon so that you could reform the White Fang, and there’s not really anything that indicates that this would be at all effective outside of taking it back by force?

It’s blatantly clear that the introduction of Ghira and Kali are retcons, along with the fact that her father created the WF, and the fact that she’s essentially the princess of Menagerie. The biggest reason for this is that there’s no evidence that “Belladonna” is a common name. So there would be nothing stopping an informed person  (Like someone whose family had supposedly been at war with the WF for years) to ask, “Like… the Blake Belladonna that’s the daughter of the chieftain of Menagerie who is also the creator of the White Fang?”

Another reason would be Blake’s lack of a tan. I stand outside for eight hours a week, and I get a tan. But Blake lives on this tropical, sunny island, and she’s about as pale as Ruby?- That makes no sense. Then again…

……… Most of the other denizens of the place also don’t have tans, so I guess the point is moot……… or it would be, if we didn’t see other people with darker skin tones.

So yeah. Blake not having a tan?- I don’t buy it. The island is sunny, and there’s a lot of open space. There’s no reason for the people there to not have a tan.

Then again, Sun’s last name is “Wukong” and they portray him to be a white guy, so I guess there’s no real reason for anyone to have any appropriate skin tones.

Blake’s story makes no sense. Like I alluded to in the intro, thanks to the retconning that happened, Blake’s disguise being at all effective is total nonsense. Say what you want about the Clark Kent disguise, but I doubt that you’d think that the geeky guy who had trouble opening a bottle and works for a news company would be the same person who just beat up Darkseid and his Parademons.

Not to mention that Blake’s parents come out of left field.

THIS is the only indication that Blake had at least one parent in the White Fang, but the way it’s worded doesn’t imply any parents. Kali and Ghira are neither foreshadowed, or mentioned. If you never saw Volume 4, you would be forgiven for believing that Blake was missing either one or both of her parents. Most of the fans believed it, due to there being no indication that Blake still had parents. Now, granted, this could be from a belief that she thought that she had driven them away, and she didn’t deserve to have them anymore, but there wasn’t any mention of it.

Blake is hardly her own character. She has one of the more generic backstories of the main cast, and the characters she interact with are far more interesting than her. Say what you want about Sun, but at least we know what his interests are. Blake’s love for books isn’t mentioned as often as it could, and is only really given a spotlight in the spinoff show. Blake being a bookworm is an interesting idea. We could have mentions of her wanting to have rather stayed back at Beacon instead of being out in Vale because she wanted to read some books instead of “Checking out the competition,” but no. We don’t get that.

(As a side note: How exactly did Weiss know about Sun stowing away?- There were no mentions of other team leaders arriving, so Weiss’ desire to go to the docks makes no sense. (My idea from the Done dirty: Sun edition is right there, if anyone wants to make a fix-fic for that)).

Blake then decides that it’s safer to hang around the stowaway thief that followed her around instead of……… anywhere else. You know what?- Tukson could have been a character that Blake knew. Like… an honorary uncle or something, and she could have run to him. Not only would have it made Tukson a character that we would actually care about when he gets axed in volume 2, but it also could have built Blake’s relationships better.  And she’d be in a bookstore.

Enough with the tangent, let’s start at her trailer where, much like Yang and Junior’s bar, she receives little consequences for her actions on the train. Admittedly, she feels regret for her actions (which is more than I can say for Yang), but really?- That’s not exactly a whole lot.

Her introduction to Volume 1 is also jarring and weird. She knows all this unkind evidence about the Schnee Dust Company, and Weiss thinks… nothing is suspicious about that? The rest of her time in the volume involves picking the person who is basically her antithesis as a partner, and doing the aforementioned things I listed above.

Volume 2 is where we get her obsession arc, and… it’s actually pretty good. We see her wanting to fix a problem, and we see her passion behind it. And we see the results of her finally getting some rest and having a nice time. But Volume 2 also has the Mount Glenn scene, where sh is questioned on how she plans on helping the Faunus.- She has no answer. And this is realistic. Sometimes, people with a passion for a major cause have no real idea as to what they need to do. But in the case of Blake, this makes little sense. She’s had years to think of how to do this, and this is all she has to show for it?

Not to mention her tirade of only wanting to use non-violence is stupid. People like to think that Martin Luther King Jr was all peace, and that everyone agreed with him because he was peaceful. But that’s not true. MLK was imprisoned because of his beliefs, and it took a lot of time and effort for his teachings to make some headway. Contrary to (an unfortunate) popular belief, the Civil War was indeed over slavery, and equal rights. And contrasting the name, the Civil War was anything but civil.

So when the writers go around, spouting that “only nonviolence is okay” then they clearly haven’t read a history book.

Not to mention that Blake (much like the rest of her team, and Oobleck), feel no remorse for all the White Fang members they trapped and killed when they were fighting on the train. “Violence isn’t okay, unless the opponent is a minority.”- That’s the sort of message that the writers are conveying. Unintentionally or not, they seem to be saying that minorities need to suck it up, and take the abuse if they want equal rights, but if any of them are being unruly, then it’s okay to attack them. I didn’t see any member of that team trying to disarm and entrap them. They seemed to be fighting with intent of “kill or be killed” and they chose “kill.” Quite a lot actually. I don’t know how many of those WF members were on that train, but I’m willing to bet that it was a lot.

Volume 3 is just there to show that life isn’t a fairy tale, and Blake gets stabbed. But her reacting apprehensive to Yang is interesting. It shows that her mentor went down a similar path, and she wants reassurance that Yang isn’t going down the same path. It’s understandable, but the way that Blake so easily trusts Yang is… off-setting to say the least.

Volume 4 and 5 is where Blake is so out of character, I’m surprised that she didn’t change her name.

And speaking of name changes, you know how I mentioned how Blake is the daughter of the White Fang founder?- Well, as it turns out, she NEVER CHANGED HER NAME!- This is what I meant when I said that it felt like a retcon that her parents were WF founders, and that she was basically the princess of Menagerie.

Not to mention that Blake slaps Sun around. I get that he was putting her on edge, and his company was unwelcome, but she’s an abuse survivor. That sort of behavior should horrify her. She would be worried that she might be turning into another Adam.

But aside from that, there’s another problem: The narrative doesn’t seem to want to say that Sun was in the wrong here. Instead, it plays off the abuse for comedy, and we’re supposed to sympathize with Sun, fairly similar to how we’re supposed to sympathize with jaune for his Volume 2 behavior. At least Sun faces punishments though, but again, the narrative seems to want to say that Sun doesn’t deserve it, and some of the audience is saying that Blake is being irrational because he’s trying to help.

And then Blake basically only gets back into the fight when Sun gets hurt. The narrative was treating Sun like Blake’s prop. At least she didn’t get him killed…

But Volume 5 shows that it’s more the characters that Blake interacts with, rather than Blake herself that is interesting. Ilia?- Her backstory is way more interesting and sympathetic than Menagerie Princess’ backstory. Sun?- His motivations to help out Blake and get some payback is more interesting than Blake’s.

Blake literally describes her friends in one word.- Y’know, most people don’t do that. They would go on and on about their friends. The least the writers could have done was have Blake explain why she chose those words. But no. We don’t get that even.

She sets her house in fire, and gives a speech that seems really lacking in self-awareness. I get that the idea is that Adam’s actions would reflect poorly on the Faunus, but from a narrative standpoint, there’s no real worry. There’s no mention of how “If this guy acts up again, we’re going to bomb Menagerie.” Blake wouldn’t even have to know that. She could just be unwittingly saving her home from an attack that would perpetuate the cycle of violence. There should have been interviewers sent over to Menagerie to at least get Ghira’s word that they don’t condone Adam’s actions.- But I think that last part can be blamed on the CCT going down.

Blake forgives Ilia for nearly bringing her back to her abuser and being complicit in her parent’s murder, but the other guy (I forget his name) isn’t?- The guy lost his brother!

And then there’s Blake’s fighting style of how she went from dual-weilding her sword and sheath, to her holding her sword with two hands. Blake’s fighting style used to be interesting an unique. She was the only one outside of jaune and Pyrrha to use two different weapons. But unlike jaune and Pyrrha, Blake’s weapons were both for offense.

The writers’ lack of understanding racism is dragging Blake down into the realm of mediocrity. Soon she will join Renora in this regard.

She once said that “life isn’t like a fairy tale”

So,  why does she keep going on her spiel about nonviolence being the only answer?- It feels as if she knows that life isn’t a fairy tale, but she isn’t going to stop living in one.

Because it feels like she wants validation.

Or, alternatively, her abuse at the hands of Adam has made her detest violence so much, that she can’t stand it being used to get one’s way………

Which contradicts her beating up Roman to get her way of stopping the White Fang.

Blake’s consistency is like one of her shadow clones. Once you try to grasp it, it dissipates.

[argyle-s]

THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME CHAPTER 13/38

Rating: Mature

Read at Ao3

Start at the Beginning

Kara deals with the aftermath of Cat's Supergirl interview.

Thanks to @ifourmindbeso for her great work as a beta. Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own.

Chapter 13 – Sticky Buns, Hope, and a Little Bit of Cheating

“And a fourth Orange sticky bun for my favorite alien,” the Sally said as she sat Kara’s order down in front of her.

“You sure I haven’t been replaced by Supergirl, Sally?” Kara asked.

“Nah, sweetie.  You’re a better tipper,” the Sally replied as she walked away.

Kara grinned.

“Hey,” Alex said as she came around the bar, and sat down at Kara’s table.  “Are you okay?  I tried calling you a bunch of times last night.”

“Oh,” Kara said.  “Sorry, I must have forgotten to turn the ringer back on.”  She reached into her purse, and pulled out her phone, and turning the ringer back on.  “Okay, for the record, forty-seven isn’t ‘a bunch’, it’s ‘I need to get a date before my sister gets a restraining order’.”

“Funny,” Alex said.  “Seriously-”

“Hey, ladies,” James said, cutting Alex off.

Kara looked up from her phone and gave him a smile.  “Hey, James,” she said.  “You remember Alex, from the other night?”

“I do,” James said.  “How’s the covert alien-hunting business?”

“Not as covert as we’d like, apparently,” Alex replied, turning to give Kara a glare.

Kara held up her hands.  “Hey, I have already had a very sternly-worded discussion with my blabbermouth cousin.”

“Sorry,” James said.  “I forgot that was still a sore point.”

“It’s okay,” Kara said.  “You might want to tread lightly at the office today.”

“Oh?” James asked.  “You know something?”

“Cat had her big interview last night,” Kara said.  “She’s going to be writing today.”

“You say that like it’s bad,” James said.

“People have been known to schedule vacations around the features Cat writes every year.”

“Oh,” James said.  “I’ll take your advice to heart.”

“You might also want to start laying out a special issue template for the magazine.  I have a feeling Cat’s going to want to go to press early this month.”

“You know, it’s a little scary how well you know her,” James said.

Kara shrugged, and gave a perfect imitation of Cat’s dismissive wave, earning her a chuckle as James headed for the door.

“Okay, I know it’s not your thing, but you know he is into you, right?” Alex said.

Kara rolled her eyes.  “He thinks he’s into me,” she said.  “It’s actually pretty convincing, right up until he starts talking about Clark.”

Both of Alex’s eyebrows made a beeline for her hair.  “Really?”

“Really,” Kara said.

Alex glared.  “That’s kinda sad.”

“It would be if I were interested in him, but you know, I’m just over here, being really super gay.”

“In a shocker of a news item today, Cat Grant, CEO of CatCo Worldwide Media, is reporting that Supergirl and Superman, are in fact, related.”

Alex turned around, looking at the TV, where a picture of Kara and Clark, both in full costume, were shown side by side.  Kara had just made it to a three count when Alex turned back around.

“What did you do?” she asked.

Kara smiled and took a bite of her sticky bun.

“Ah, interesting choice,” Winn said, “mentioning that in an interview.”

Kara shrugged as she sat down behind her desk.  “Not so much interesting, as strategic.  It was bound to get out sooner or later,” she said.  “This way, I can control the timing, the narrative, and with a little luck, the fallout.”

“Fallout is what I’m worried about,” Winn said.  “Your cousin has a *lot* of enemies.”

“Keira!” Cat called from her office, and Kara jumped slightly, turning to look through the glass.

“She’s here?” Kara said, reaching for Cat’s latte.

“Apparently,” Winn replied.

Kara did a quick check to make sure no one was looking before she zapped Cat’s latte with her heat vision, then stood up, grabbing her note pad and tablet, then rushing into Cat’s office.

“Morning, Ms. Grant,” she said.  “You’re in early.”

“I am,” Cat said as she looked around for a pair of glasses.

“On your head, Ms. Grant,” Kara said.

“Oh,” Cat replied, reaching up and pulling the glasses down.  “Thank you.”

Kara sat the latte on the desk, and Cat picked it up, taking a sip, and giving a small, appreciative moan.

“Congratulations,” Kara said, and Cat looked up at her.

“On?”

“You scooped the Daily Planet,” she said.

Cat sighed.  “Yes,” she said.  “I did.”

Kara frowned, because Cat didn’t seem excited and she didn’t understand why.  She’d given Cat far, far more to work with this time around.  The woman should be bouncing off the walls.

“Keira.”

“Yes, Ms. Grant?”

“Send out an email to the department heads.  We’re going to press in six days with a special issue of the Monthly.  I want a content meeting in two hours, where I will be handing out assignments.  We’re going to pull content from online, social, and the Trib.  I want anything we have on the refugees, natural disasters, and so on.  Also, get Bunny Watson to pull everything we have from our archives and the Daily Planet.  I want a list of every alien Superman, or any other superhero, has ever fought.  The entire issue is going to be focused on Supergirl.  Once the content meeting is done, I’m going to be busy writing the feature.  While I’m doing that, I need you to plan a launch Gala for the issue for one week from today.”

“Okay, Ms. Grant,” Kara said, more than a little surprised.  In the original time line, Cat had pushed the issue out in two days, with a single story on Supergirl.  “I can do that.”

“Of course you can,” Cat said.  “That’s why I pay you a soon to be increasing in size paycheck.”

Kara smiled.  “Of course.”

“And Kara, something tasteful.  I don’t want waitresses running around dressed in Supergirl outfits.  And see if we can get a more refined guest list.  Let’s go for Senators and Congressmen.  See if you can get anyone who’s been dealing with the Syrian Refugee Crisis.  If you think they would attend, extend invitations to Bruce Wayne and Diana Prince and anyone they want to bring along from their foundations.  Also, anyone else you think it would be appropriate to invite.”

“Yes, Ms. Grant.”

“Oh, and Keira.”

“Yes?”

“Start looking for someone to fill your position,” Cat said.

“Ms. Grant?” Kara said, unable to hide the hurt and the panic in her voice.

“Well, I am going to need an assistant Keira.  I can’t schedule my own travel and manage my own schedule while I’m running the company and I think it’s time we started looking at taking better advantage of your abilities.”

“Um...  I’ll make some calls,” Kara said, feeling more than a little shocked.  She’d expected some changes in her relationship with Cat, but nothing so drastic, and nothing so quick.

“Good.  Now, get on with it, Keira.  Chop Chop.”

Kara nodded and turned around, heading back to her desk to make the arrangements, before she headed off to the DEO for the meeting she had scheduled with J’onn.

“Are you out of your Kryptonian mind?” J’onn asked as he, Kara and Alex walked down the corridor to the command center.  “What the hell were you thinking, giving an interview to Cat Grant?”

“It worked well the first time,” Kara said.

“Really?  What’s next?  A book deal?  A reality show?  Keeping up with the Kryptonians?”  He shook his head, and stormed off, marking up on the dais to glare at the monitors as if they had personally offended him.

“He seems upset,” Kara said.

“Hard to tell with him,” Alex replied.  “Seriously though, why give the interview?”

Kara looked at Alex, “It’s hard to explain when you haven’t seen the entire interview yet.  The ‘I’m Superman’s cousin’, thing was mostly to draw out an enemy I need to deal with.  The rest of the interview is more focused on my long-term agenda, which is getting the Alien Amnesty Act pushed through.”

“Enemy?” Alex asked

Kara nodded.  She’d shown Alex, J’onn and Susan a few of the highlights from her time as Supergirl in the original timeline, but she hadn’t given them anywhere near all the details, and Reactron was a fairly minor footnote.

“Sir, ma’am’s, we have a Code Grey,” Susan announced.  “Coming from the NCH.  Looks like a multiple car collision.”

Kara didn’t wait to hear the rest.  She already knew how this went.  She turned and used a bit of super-speed to get to the surface, then shot into the air.  Less than two minutes later, she was descending towards the pile up, trying to recall the details of the incident.  A quick scan with her x-ray vision confirmed what she remembered.  The bus driver was pinned, and there was a downed electrical line blocking the rescue.  A quick blast of her heat vision severed the power line from the pole as she dropped down straight into the bus.

“I’m stuck,” the driver said.

“It’s okay.  I’ve got you,” she said as she approached the driver.  She x-rayed the woman’s pinned legs and spotted a minor tear in the femoral artery.  It was a slow leak, but too much jostling might tear it wide open.  She knelt down, and very carefully bent the steering column up, then lifted the driver and floated them both out of the bus and down next to a pair of paramedics with a waiting gurney.

“She’s got a tear in the right femoral,” Kara said.  “Very minor bleed, but you need to tourniquet and get her into surgery to repair it before it widens.”

The paramedic nodded as the EMT started strapping the driver down.  Kara turned and stepped away from them as Reactron dropped out of the sky.

“Don’t do this here,” she shouted.  “These people are innocent.”

“I don’t care,” he said.  “Not as long as Superman bleeds.”  He raised his arm and fired off a blast of energy which shot towards her, and fizzled out against her anti-kryptonite shield, which was currently running in a much broader spectrum than normal.

“If you were looking for a soft target,” Kara said, “you picked the wrong girl.”  She shot across the distance between them, reaching under her cape as she moved, and pulling out the rolled-up sheet of lead she’d brought along with her that morning.  When she reached him, she slapped the sheet over the Demon Core of the suit, and pulled it free, carefully wrapping the entire core in lead as she pulled it loose.  Reactron stumbled back, looking down in shock.

Kara switched the core to her left hand and tapped her ear piece.  “Hey, I need a nuclear containment team out here, ASAP.”

Kara reached out and grabbed Reactron before he could run away or do much of anything.

“What the hell is going on out there?” J’onn asked.

“I’ve got a subcritical mass of plutonium in my left hand, and a mentally disturbed victim of radiation poisoning in my right.  Would you please just send a containment team?”

Kara ran from the elevator to Cat’s office as fast as she could without arousing suspicion.  She was beyond annoyed because J’onn had taken his own sweet time getting the hazmat team out to collect the demon core.  Then there had been a jurisdictional dispute between the ‘FBI’ and NCPD over who got custody of the suit.  Kara hadn’t stuck around for that.  Once she’d finished washing her hands and got a clean read off the Geiger counter, she’d left the DEO and NCPD arguing and rushed back to her apartment, grabbed the research Konex had put together for her on Reactron, including a face shot that had been culled from social media of his face after Kara had unmasked him, and a facial recognition software comparison between the social media shot and a picture of Ben Krull before the terrorist attack at Bakerline Nuclear Power Station.  Then she’d flown back to CatCo.

Except, she was five minutes late getting to the content meeting.

“Nice of you to join us, Keira,” Cat said as she came through the door.

“Sorry,” she said, edging around Kelly and James.  “Sorry.  I was just... well... um...”

“Please, Keira, spit it out already.  Why have you held up a very important meeting by showing up late?”

“Reactron,” Kara said.  “Supergirl just fought him on the 935 near the Nation’s Bay exit.”

“Supergirl fought Reactron?” James asked.

“Oh, do keep up, Olsen,” Cat said, “we reported that thirty minutes ago.”

“Right,” Kara said.  “anyway, Reactron…  That’s a kind of a stupid name.  Who came up with it?”

James cleared his throat.

Kara turned around to look at him.  “Really?”

James nodded.

“I know a guy,” Kara said, reaching up and patting him lightly on the shoulder.  “I’m pretty sure he can get you into his support group.”  She turned back around and had to fight not to smile when she noticed the look of shocked pride on Cat’s face.  “Anyway, someone got a shot of his face.  I have a friend who’s good with facial recognition, so I emailed it over, and my friend got a hit.”  She held out the stack of papers she’d been holding.  “His name is Ben Krull.  He was an engineer at Bakerline Nuclear Power Station.  He went missing and was presumed dead after the terrorist attack five years ago.  His wife died in the attack from radiation poisoning.  I was just going to outline something, but once I got started, it seemed easier to just write out a full article.  I included citations for how radiation exposure can lead to shifts in personality, neurological disorders, and other problems going all the way back to the ‘Demon Core’ accidents during the Manhattan Project.”

Cat reached out and took the papers from Kara, without ever looking away from her face.  “You wrote an article?”

Kara nodded.  “Yes.”

Cat looked down and scanned over the pages while everyone else in the room seemed to hold their collective breath.  “This is excellent work, Kiera.  In fact, I think it bought you five minutes,” she said, turning and handing the papers over to the lead Content Editor for CatCo online.  “I want this online within two hours.  Pull something from the archives on Bakerline, and get it updated and reposted, with a ‘since the attack’ section.”

Cat turned back to address the room as a whole.  “Our girl just beat a villain Superman couldn’t take down, which makes this issue even more important, so it’s get started...”

Cat Grant was not a woman unaware of her issues.  The Lexapro she took every twelve hours, with much more clockwork-like regularity since Kara had come into her life, was proof of that.  She was older than she wanted to admit to, she was bitter, she was lonely, she was more than a little vindictive.  All these things were facts of life.  But the one thing Cat hated about herself, the one thing she considered a failure, aside from Adam, was that she was disillusioned.

It wasn’t her fault.  Not really.  After all, she had no one to have faith in.  Not the father she had loved so dearly, who had, one quiet Sunday morning, pressed a gun against his temple and abandoned her.  Not the mother who had never been kind, or caring, or warm, or affectionate when Cat had desperately needed those things.  Not the boss who had leered at her and let her do nothing but write for the gossip column, then belittled her for being good at it.  Not the friend who had snatched away the job she’d dreamed of.  Not the boyfriend who’d snatched away her first son.  Not the husband who she’d caught with the Nanny.  Certainly not the Superhero who rescued pretty reporters.

Superman, more than any of the others, had broken her.  Cat didn’t get Superman.  Cat got grabbed walking home one night.  Cat got a knife in the stomach, a skull fracture, six broken ribs and a broken arm.  Cat got a fourteen-block walk in the rain, with a perforated intestine, and blood running down her stomach.  Cat got thirteen hours in surgery, and four weeks in intensive care battling sepsis.  Cat got to sit in her hospital room, protected by private security, because the article on human trafficking she wrote from her hospital bed had implicated more than thirty police officers, a Congressman, and the National City Deputy Mayor, plus mobsters in National City, Metropolis, Gotham and Hub City.  Cat Grant got post-traumatic stress and an anxiety disorder that required twice daily Lexapro.  And Cat Grant got to watch Lois Lane accept a Pulitzer for the first story written about Superman’s sudden appearance, plucking a crashing plane out of the sky.  Superman, the hero who brought so many people hope, had always somehow managed to be a symbol to Cat of her own failure to measure up.

Supergirl though, felt different.  Right from the start, there had been something about her, something Cat couldn’t quite place, that made her feel connected.  She tried to play it off in her own mind as her desire to save the Tribune, as the economic benefit the girl could bring to CatCo, but in her own, private thoughts, she’d known that was bullshit right from the start.  There was something different about this girl.  Something that spoke to Cat on a level Superman never had.

At first, she thought it was the costume, or rather, the lack of one.  When Superman first appeared, he’d been decked out in full costume, ‘S’ blazing and cape flapping.  Yes, the plane had been a crisis, but it was clearly something Superman had been planning.  Not so with Supergirl.  Her first save had been in street clothes, which suggested a certain lack of planning.  She hadn’t saved the plane to make a statement or to announce her arrival.  She hadn’t stepped out at a moment of her choosing.  She’d seen a crisis and abandoned the safety and security of her own anonymity, risked exposure of her identity, to help.  The costume came after, because now people were looking up, watching for her.  There was an honestly about it that spoke to the girl’s nature and her need to help.

Now, Cat also wondered if she hadn’t recognized Kara in some way in the photo or video.  Wondered if the connection she’d felt was the affection she hadn’t quite been able to keep at bay over the last year.  Kara was one of the few people left in her life who challenged her, who provoked her.  Oh, others tried.  Professional rivals, board members who thought they were smarter than they actually were.  Cat had them all cowed.  Honestly, Lois and Kara were probably the only people left in Cat’s life who stood up to her.

What she couldn’t quite understand though, what honestly threw her for a loop with all of this, was the way Kara was basically handing her Supergirl on a silver platter.  At first, she’d just thought Kara was being her usual extraordinary self.  Until she’d seen the pictures.  Oh, sure, most people wouldn’t be able to tell.  She had to admit to herself, she’d been fooled by a similar disguise with Clark and Superman for thirteen years or so, but this was Kara, and Cat would know those eyes anywhere.

She hadn’t been sure, not at first.  Oh, close to sure.  Sure enough that if she pulled Kara’s employee ID photo and ran facial recognition against one of the Supergirl photos she’d get a match good enough to clear legal and publish, not that she would.  Still, she’d sent Bunny Watson out to research it, to confirm it.  She’d gotten the facial recognition match and the documentation and then she’d destroyed it, because this was Kara.  Kara who’d given her the photos.  Kara who’d recommended Bunny.  Kara who’d agreed to do the interview.

Kara who’d been Carter’s age when she watched her family, her home, her culture and her entire world burn, right before her eyes.  Kara who’d been thirteen years old and told she had to live, not for herself, but to protect her cousin, only to have even that taken from her.  Kara who smiled every day and who texted her links to kitten videos she’d never admit to laughing at.  Kara who brought her coffee and refilled her M&M’s and always remembered to make sure there was a cheeseburger on her salad when there was a board meeting.

Kara who was sunshine and light and happiness that was infectious, only sometimes it didn’t quite reach her eyes.  Kara who fought to save people’s jobs when they’d made honest mistakes, but who would show up in the middle of the day with a copy of a harassment complaint and a prepared termination packet from legal for the offender.  Kara who just smiled and said “Yes, Ms. Grant” every time Cat fired her and just showed up the next day anyway.  Kara who was surrounded by people, who loved people and thrived on attention and was always lonely, even in the middle of a crowd.

The interview had broken Cat’s heart, right from the first question.  The way Kara had talked about the friend who’d introduced her to the rather excellent Scotch.  Cat could see the pain there, the sense that it was a personal failure.  She’d seen the look in the mirror often enough.  But it just went on and on.  Things beyond her control that she blamed herself for.

It wasn’t fair.  Cat wanted to stomp her feet in shout in rage about how unfair it was that so much had been placed on Kara’s shoulders.  No one should feel the way she did, no one should have to shoulder the weight Kara did.  She wanted to tell the girl she was worthwhile, that anyone would be proud of the person she’d become, because it was true.  Even before she’d caught that plane, before she’d put on the ‘S’, Kara Danvers was extraordinary.

But she couldn’t.  Not without admitting what she knew, and that was a line she wasn’t ready to cross.  Not yet.  But that didn’t mean she was powerless.  Kara had told Cat what she wanted, what her ultimate goal was.  And Cat was Cat Grant, CEO of CatCo Worldwide Media.  A woman who had been dubbed ‘The Queen of All Media’ for good reason.  She had power at her fingertips.  Power to shape the way people thought.  Power to change the narrative.

Power to help.

Cat opened Word, and for the first time in the longest time, the constant buzzing of her anxiety was quiet.  There were no imagined noises, no demands for extracts or juices to help her focus.  Because for the first time in a very long time, the writing wasn’t about her, it was more important than that.  It was about helping, about changing the world for the better.  It was the kind of story she dreamed about writing when she was Perry White’s assistant.

It was a story about hope.

Planning a party on short notice was a skill Kara had mastered so long ago she could almost do it in her sleep.  She picked a different venue, this time.  One with more security.  The Presidential Ballroom at the Rosewood was the venue Senators and Presidents chose when they came to National City, so she booked it, hoping the familiarity would inspire better attendance.  Once she had that squared away, she went ahead and started working on hiring caterers who were already cleared for sensitive events where government officials might be making an appearance.  That had been the easy part.  The hard part was deciding on decorations, catering attire, and the menu.

When Cat had given her the assignment, she’d been more than a little relieved that she didn’t have to spend the evening watching waitresses parade around with her House Coat of Arms on their chest.  She’d planned on having them in shirts, bow ties and vests.  It was simple yet formal enough that they would blend into the background.  But then she’d sat through the content meeting.  She’d listened as Cat had handed out content assignments.  There would be articles on the various aliens Superman had fought over the years, as well as a piece on Superman’s status as a citizen, comparing it to the legal limbo other aliens, including Supergirl, existed in.  There would be articles on refugee crises, both human and alien.  There would be articles on immigration, and the legal status of undocumented people.  There would be feature focusing on President Marsdin’s push for immigration reform, and an analysis of whether or not the policy was worded in such a way that it included people of a non-terrestrial origin.

Which left Kara a bit indecisive.  This was moving events up in the timeline by almost a year.  Most of the discussion of this type had happened after Myriad, after J’onn J’onzz had revealed himself.  She was okay with that, but she was afraid that without seeing J’onn out there, fighting beside her, just the articles might not be enough.  Which left her wondering how far to push.

When she’d had Konex rebuilt, one of the things she’d done was have him go through human food stuffs and analyze them to see when foods could be used to recreate something resembling Kryptonian Cuisine.  There were certain flavors that couldn’t be recreated of course, but she had about three hundred recipes that Konex had modified to produce good approximations of Kryptonian food.  It had been a private, guilty little pleasure.  Something she enjoyed when she headed out to Sanctuary.  But now she was wondering if she should share this part of her home.  If she should select various finger food recipes and send them over to the caterers.  She also wondered about sending over service guild robes.

Oddly enough, this didn’t feel like a decision she should make on her own, so she brought up her IM client, and double clicked on Clark’s contact.

Kara:  Here there, baby cousin.

The three little dots indicating Clark was typing appeared.  Then disappeared.  Then appeared again.  This happened three more times before Clark’s message finally came through.

Clark: You caught Reactron?

Kara smiled as she typed out her answer.

Kara:  Guess it was a job for Supergirl.

Clark:  Yeah.  I’m impressed, Kara.  Really.

Kara: Impressed enough to do me a favor?

Clark:  Sure.

Kara:  Never ever let James name another supervillain.

Clark:  Oh, come on.  Reactron isn’t that bad.

Kara:  What about Glow-man?  Amazo?  Kryptonoid?

Clark:  Okay, so, some of the names are a little odd.

Kara:  Clark, the man is a menace.  Seriously, no more names from James Olsen.

Clark:  I feel like you and Lois are ganging up on me.

Kara:  Well, tell me Lois has a younger, hotter sister, and maybe I’ll be too busy to gang up on you.

Clark:  Well, she does have a sister, and Lucy is younger than Lois, but I wouldn’t say hotter.

Kara:  That is because you are both very loyal, and completely smitten, but I just followed a link from Lois’s facebook.  I’m looking at Lucy right now.  You have been holding out on me, baby cousin.

Clark:  Hey!  If you want to talk about who’s been holding out on who, I had to find out from James that you like women.  What is up with that?

Kara let out a laugh.

Kara:  Maybe if you’d visit more often, you’d get more gossip.

Clark:  Okay, guilty as charged.

Kara:  Thanksgiving?

Clark:  I’d like that.  And Lois says “as long as she’s not expected to do dishes.”

Kara:  Clark Kent, do you make that woman clean up after you?

Clark:  Um... no?

Kara:  Are you asking me, or telling me?

Clark:  Okay, there may have been one or two incidents in the last month where supervillains attacked the city during dinner, and she had to do the dishes.

Kara:  Uh huh.

Clark:  I’m in trouble, aren’t I?

Kara:  That depends...

Clark:  I’m almost afraid to ask, but what does it depend on?

Kara:  On whether or not Diana remembers to check her text messages today.

Clark:  Diana always checks her messages.

Kara:  Then, baby cousin, I’d say you should start running now.

Clark:  *sigh*

Clark:  I see how it is.

Kara:  Darn right!  Seriously though, I have a question, and I feel like this is a decision we both should make.

Clark:  Okay.  What’s up?

Kara:  You know I gave an interview to Cat, right?

Clark:  Yeah.  BTW, Lois says “What’s the big idea, short stuff?”

Kara:  Tell Lois I’m mad because she’s been hiding her insanely hot young sister from me.

Clark:  Kara, Lucy was kind of seeing someone up until recently.  A guy someone.

Kara:  Probably for the best.  Not sure I’d want Sam Lane as a father-in-law anyway.

Clark:  Why do you think I haven’t proposed to Lois? ;)

Kara:  Fear.

Kara:  That woman scares you.

Clark:  Okay, true, but Sam Lane isn’t exactly helpful.

Clark:  Anyway, what’s the interview have to do with this decision you want help with?

Kara:  Okay, this is a Cousin-to-Cousin and Cousin’s Girlfriend discussion.

Kara:  No spreading this around the Daily Planet for corporate espionage purposes.

Clark:  Right.

Kara:  Cat’s doing a Supergirl issue of the monthly.  The whole issue is focused on the interview and what I talked to her about.

Clark:  That must have been quite the interview.

Clark:  You sure it was a good idea?

Kara:  Yeah.  Look, I know you probably won’t understand this, but I trust Cat the way you trust Lois.

Clark:  Um…  Kara, is there something you want to tell me?

Kara reached up and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Kara:  That’s not what I meant, Clark.

Kara:  I mean, sure, Cat’s freaking Gorgeous, and sure, I’d like to think she considers me a bit more than an employee, but come on.

Kara:  What would Cat freaking Grant want with me?

System Message:  Lois has joined the chat.

Lois:  Short stuff, have you looked in a mirror lately?

Kara:  Hey, Lois.  And yes, I have, but seriously, Cat can have anyone she wants.  We’re friends.  At least, I’d like to think we are.  You know how Cat is.

Lois:  Yeah, I do, kiddo.  Being her friend is like trying to hug a porcupine.  You can do it, but if you’re not careful, there will be bloodshed.

Kara:  Just for that, I’m inviting her to Thanksgiving Dinner.

Lois:  You wouldn’t dare!

Kara:  I would.  She’d just never take me up on it :P

Lois:  True.

Kara:  Anyway, back to the question at hand.  She’s got me planning a launch party for the Supergirl issue.

Lois:  I still say you should have given that interview to me.

Clark:  Lois.

Lois:  What?

Kara:  What Clark is too polite to say is, you already have a Kryptonian.  Let Cat have this one.

Lois:  Maybe I want both of you.

Lois:  Wait, that did not come out right.

Lois:  Okay, I’m slightly embarrassed, but it was totally worth it for the look on Clark’s face.

Kara:  We’re sorry, the party you are trying to reach is currently busy trying to find a telepath to scour her brain.

Kara:  Seriously, not cool Lois.

Lois:  I’m sorry.  It sounded a lot less suggestive in my head.

Clark:  She has that problem a lot.

Lois:  Shut up, you.

Clark:  Sorry, love.  Journalists are supposed to tell the truth.

Lois:  Yeah, well, I hope some journalists like sleeping on the couch.

Kara:  GUYS!

Lois:  Sorry, Short Stuff.

Clark: Sorry.

Kara:  Anyone, Gala, next Friday night.  Launching Supergirl issue.

Clark:  Right.

Kara:  I just feel like I should ask, because it’s your culture too, Clark.  Would it be okay with you if I gave the caterers some Kryptonian Recipes that have been adapted to use Earth ingredients?  Also, I was thinking of maybe having the wait staff dressed in Service Guild robes.

There was a long pause before Clark answered.  So much so she was worried he’d be offended by the suggestion.

Clark:  Kara, you’re probably a lot better qualified to determine what is an appropriate way to share our culture.  You have actually lived it.

Clark:  My concern would be that it might tip Cat off to who you are.

Clark:  Cat Grant is probably one of the smartest people I know, and I say that with you fully aware of the company I keep on a regular basis.

Clark:  You need to be extremely careful with her.

Kara:  Clark, trust me when I say I know Cat better than you.  I know how smart she is.  I also know that she can help me, help all of us, make the world a better place.

Kara:  No offense, Lois, but Cat is probably the single biggest force in media right now.

Lois:  No offense taken, Short Stuff.  I made my choices, and I’m happy with how they turned out.  I know Perry White’s chair is about as far as I’ll ever go, and I’m good with that.

Kara:  You could go further than that, Lois.

Kara:  A lot further.

Kara:  You’d just have to be willing to leave Metropolis to do it.

Lois:  And that’s the issue.  I’m not, because Clark’s not.

Clark:  Besides, National City’s already got the Superhero thing covered.

Kara:  Yeah, well, if you ever need help with Rubberbandotron or something, you know who to call.

Lois:  Is it too late to adopt her?

Clark:  A little.

Clark:  Seriously, Kara, the decision is yours.  If you can find a way to share our culture that you think is safe and respectful, I’d really love that.

Kara:  Thanks, Clark.

Kara:  Oh, BTW, tell Perry White you two both need to be in National City next Friday.

Clark:  Okay...

Clark:  Why?

Kara:  Lois, you want to tell him?

Lois:  She’s inviting us to her coming out party, Smallville.

Clark:  OH!

Kara:  Love you both.  See you soon.

Clark:  Love you too, Kara.

Lois:  Love you, Short Stuff.  Watch out for hairballs.

[superman86to99]

Superman: The Man of Steel #22 (June 1993)

REIGN OF THE SUPERMEN CONTINUES! Presenting John Henry Irons, a.k.a. Henry Johnson, a.k.a. Shaq-- uhh, STEEL. John is the big dude we saw emerging from the rubble of the Superman/Doomsday fight in Adventures #500. Now we find out more about his backstory: he was a military weapons designer who quit his job/whole life for some reason, and has been living in Metropolis’ Suicide Slum under an unfindable fake identity (he just switched his first and middle names around). A few weeks ago, John was saved by Superman after falling off a construction site -- so when the Doomsday battle broke out, John decided he should return the favor and save Superman. This didn’t go so well (for anyone), hence the whole “buried in rubble” thing.

(Note the “energy” being passed from Superman to John as he saves him. Artistic license, or something else...?!)

Anyway, once John is out of the hospital from that little incident, he sits down and tells the tale of his namesake John Henry to some Suicide Slum kids (including Superman’s pal, Keith the Unlucky Orphan, because this is a really small neighborhood). As the kids are leaving, they get caught in the middle of a gang fight and one of them is literally fried by some sort of hi-tech gun.

“You BASTARDS!” (Sorry.)

John chases after the gang members, and as they try to kill him for butting into their business, he recognizes their hi-tech weapons as his own design. When he gets out of the hospital (again), John decides to do something about it. With Superman dead, someone has to step up and protect the city, so John forges himself an iron-- uhh, STEEL armor designed for crime-smashing. John debuts his new heroic identity against the same gang from before after they come back to finish the job and firebomb his building.

John kindly asks the gang members where they got such sci-fi-esque weapons. Just as one of them is about to talk, he’s sniped by a mysterious lady with a big-ass gun, “The White Rabbit”. She seems to know John from before, and decides not to kill him because he might be "profitable” in the future. (I’ve got bad news for you, lady.)

Meanwhile, Metropolis is abuzz with news reports of John’s exploits. A psychic lady he saved when that building blew up explains that he’s not “a” man of steel but THE Man of Steel -- according to her, Superman’s spirit has returned from beyond and possessed the body of a man whose own spirit left him (John, after whatever happened that made him leave his old life). The still bed-bound Pa Kent seems convinced, while Lex Luthor Jr. is at least intrigued by the idea, and who knew Superman better than those two? No one. Welcome back, Superman!

Character-Watch:

The White Rabbit actually appeared briefly during John’s segment in Adventures #500, but I forgot to mention it. Here’s a gratuitous shot of her shorts to make up for it.

Plotline-Watch:

Futher evidence that John is the one true Superman: he says that when he was buried in the rubble, he saw "Fog. Angels and demons. I think my grandfather. He didn’t want me to die.” That sounds like a spot-on summary of what Superman’s soul went through in Adventures #500.

Poor Lois Lane’s life is bound to take a turn for the better now that the love of her life has returned: I mean Jeb Friedman, her douchey ex. To be fair, Jeb did wait like a week (comic book time) after Lois’ fiancee was presumed dead before putting the moves on her, so he’s not that bad.

I should also mention that Myra the Orphanage Lady has the hots for John -- she gets a new Halle Berry hairdo when she and Keith visit him in the hospital. You may now begin shipping them.

Lex Luthor Jr. orders his crony Dr. Happersen to find out who’s furnishing street gangs with futuristic weaponry. That’s his job, dammit!

And my job here is done, so click below to read the great Don Sparrow’s section:

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):

Probably the most abrupt change from the Funeral for a Friend storyline comes in the pages of SMOS, where we’re thrown into  an almost entirely new cast of characters (aside from the much loved Myra and Keith), a great departure from the Superman comics we know.  We begin with the cover, which features probably the s-shield closest to the official one, with some slick, great looking Walk-Simonson-esque shading on the chrome of the insignia—this pattern will be a theme throughout the run of this character.

Inside the first page we get our first full look at John Henry Irons in full regalia, and it looks great.  The colours help a lot in selling the metallic look, and I love the elements of his costume that are a cheat—There’s no way a metal mask could so closely follow the contours of John’s face, particularly as he speaks and emotes.  But it looks awesome so we accept it.

As I mentioned, we can feel a bit lost being thrown into this story with a wholly unfamiliar character, so they subtly let us know which character we’re supposed to be following by helpfully putting him in the familiar red and blue as we first see him. 

To my eye, in this storyline, Bogdanove abandons his usual slick, fluid, Fleischer cartoon look for a much hatchier, urban feel.  The faces are more caricaturized (sometimes, perhaps, to a fault) and the action a lot grittier.  Indeed, I don’t remember so much violence in the first couple pages of story since before the Doomsday storyline.  The effect is intentional I think—we’re supposed to be horrified by the destruction these toastmaster weapons leave behind, but man, that smouldering skeleton of a teenager on page 4 is tough to take, as is the brock wall smeared with Irons’ blood at the bottom of page 5. 

Still, even in his first appearance, Bogdanove has this character’s physicality and wardrobe very well established and down pat.  The parachute pants go a long way in suggesting his athleticism, and also hint at a possible inspiration in the sports world, as Shaquille O’Neal was just entering the NBA (and rap and video game worlds as well) at the time. It might be a chicken or egg argument, but I suspect some of Irons’ look is based on Shaq’s, for better or worse.            

The flashback sequence of Irons’ inspirational meeting with Superman is well-told, and there’s some interesting imagery as there appears to be some sort of beam transferring between them on page 8, lending credence to the “spirit walk-in” spin this book put forward.  The full page splash on page 11 is a good one, as you really feel the heft of his hammer in his body gesture—though maybe a little more time could have been put into the face.

The low point follows soon after—no, not dead teenagers (though there will be more of them), something worse—Jeb Friedman makes his obnoxious return to Metropolis. Worse still, Lois dives into his arms knocking off his cowboy hat.  Oh, yeah, apropos of nothing, he was wearing a cowboy hat, by the way. [Max: He seems more like a fedora kind of guy.]

Page 15 has a great look at Irons’ mask, as he perches, Batman-style, on a rooftop before jumping in to bust the gun-runners.  More dead torsos follow as one of the gang gets disemboweled (and then some) in order for the Toastmasters to blast Irons.  The cracked image of Martin Luther King is an effective way of relating some of Irons’ guilt—his actions in the past certainly haven’t advanced Dr. King’s noble causes.  Rather, they’ve just made the streets a deadlier place.

We get a good look at Irons’ array of weaponry in the story as well, as page 19 features his gauntlet, which, appropriately for his namesake, drives steel railway bolts (I’ll just accept that Irons is a great shot, and ignore how utterly deadly that would be as a weapon).  We’re then introduced to the White Rabbit, our apparent villain, in booty shorts as revealing as a code book would allow at the time. [Max: See above.]

There’s a LOT of exposition to get through, and the issue does a good job of all of it—Irons’ guilt at having dedicated his life to weaponry, and donning a costume to atone (shades of the first Iron Man film), some interesting issues with power, race and inner-city crime (with both gangsters like the White Rabbit and big businessmen like Luthor trying to take full advantage) some history on Irons’ own tragic childhood, and also some upsetting scenes with Lois and Jonathan Kent dealing with the emergence of all these new characters.    

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

Does John Henry have eyebrows?  They seem to be missing in his closeup shot on page 4, and elsewhere.

GODWATCH:  John Henry prays he’s wrong when he sees the what looks like an old weapon of his on page 4.

The story makes a couple mentions of Irons’ voice as being like Darth Vader, and later the voice of God.  Emphasiszing someone’s voice is an interesting way to establish character in a silent medium like comics, but definitely does help us flesh out who he is.

I’ll admit, I’ve heard better pickup lines than “Superman is dead and Clark is dead.” Bizarrely, it seems to almost work.

I remember reading an article (I think it was in Wizard magazine) about the spirit walk-in idea, and either Simonson or Bogdanove saying that the psychic would decidedly NOT sound like Mike Myers’ Linda Richman character from SNL.  In spite of their assertions (or maybe because of them), that’s how she sounds in my head, so they might have been better off not even bringing her up. [Max: Dang, now you’ve passed on the curse to me! Hey, maybe she was possessed by Mike Myers’ ghost?]

[realmrpatrickj]

After landing in San Diego last Saturday with me and my mom we first when onto first picking up the rental and checking into the hotel room at Hampton inn. Afterward, we when over to go visit South Park studios in Culver City for the first time ever! And after almost three hours of in-between traffics hell, we finally made it! Except there was a blue gate that guards the entrance to the place but luckily someone was in the driveway first punching in the code for us before I dashed into the gated area behind the driver entering first. After carefully zipping around the suites once, I finally found the place since I passed it once and parked the rental car and pose a picture with the sign of the Casa Bonita gold plate sign. After that, I peeked inside the place and saw the Lobby area of the South Park headquarters and it was heaven! Even the security guy sitting at his desk had a computer desktop image of the South Park Boys also. And so I first asked the security guy how to get out of the gates area and second I asked him if the South Park creators ever received the fan mail here at the South Park Studios place. The security dude responded "yes we do receive a lot of fan mail, and they are read by them" and I was like "yes I knew it! Take to read my Fanmail! " and after me and my mom left the place we head over to my aunties place up in Palmdale to have dinner a few hours later we were back down south in our hotel room resting for the next big day at San Diego comic con international. The next morning after eating breakfast and getting to the convention early in the morning, and as I was waiting in the sails pavilion after getting my souvenir bag plus flash pin which I have never seen before. I was busy looking at the autograph information panels when this dude with glasses and beard walking with his friend came up to me and ask me if he could purchase or trade his Batman pin for mines. And I thought to myself or second and agreed to trade in my flash pin for his since I came up with a clever plan to get back my flash pin and I pretended to go back to where I got my souvenir goodies and pretended that I have lost my flash pin so that way I can get another one instead. Not only I got a blade runner souvenir bag since my first souvenir bag was a Legos ninja bag I got a Superman pin instead and that was OK with me meaning I got to limit edition comic con international superhero pins! Nice!! But before waiting for Eliza Jane Schneider you come by the autograph section I first went to the this is card freebies table to put my cards down for everyone to take, when suddenly this guy said that I couldn't do it unless they get approved by the staff first and I thought to myself the other comic conventions that I have attended before didn't bother doing that kind of procedure first. So I respected the guys policy rules and did as I was told and after like 2 to 3 hours later, I came back to the table and ask A different guy who was an older gentleman with a fancy hat with sunglasses asking if my business cards got a proof in a few minutes later as they were discussing through if my tune business was appropriate for the public Micon International by checking out my website to determine the appropriate rating for my business card. And the same Old guy determine that my business cards were not PG since it wasn't appropriate for family at comic con international and I thought to myself "this is bullshit, I put my same business cards out on the tables at different, conventions and I get no complaint about that, what the fuck ?!" As I was waiting on the ground waiting in front of me of Eliza Jane Schneider to come around when this woman walk and stood next to me was talking to a little boy and a comic con staff, and the woman standing next to me sounded more like a bit like Betty Boop in a few minutes later I realize that woman turns out to be "Sandy Fox "the second female voice actress for Betty Boop. So I decided to greet her at the table because of my curiosity of what voices she did for whatever cartoon show if she did and when 10 AM came around I saw this guy with a heavy suitcase coming around behind her table so I walked up to the table and I ask him why was Eliza late and he told me that she was going to get something in general first. So as I was waiting for her to come by so I can get her on a graph and photo the same woman called out to me in front of me at her booth asking me to post pictures of herself at her autograph booth and agreed to do that. And let me tell you that was kind of pretty awesome that she wanted me to take her a few photos at her own table, at least 20 minutes later Eliza Jane Schneider Voice of South Park main female characters finally arrive with her musical instrument because I also discovered she was a musician. So as I was about to get her photo and autograph we talked for a bit on how much I am enjoyed her Miss Crabtree crazy bus driver can return and how I want to have her as my very own special guest for my web animation series "Dr.choker and rude pals". I even gave her my business card and she asked me if I do voices and I told responded yes I do along with a few of my close my friends as well, she seems to agree with the idea of wanting to voice as a random nurse from my new upcoming future choker animation episode. Since she mentioned that she had to check out my website which was a pretty bad ass just to confirm something saying that my voices have to be high-quality if that's what I heard before. So after getting her autograph and plus your photo as well, I said bye and I walked off and just as I was killing off my time to attend the Buffy the vampire slayer book penal talk which also mentions about a special guest. My eye caught my attention of this guy in sunglasses with a nightmare on Elm Street 6 Freddy's dead related movie autograph booth and sure enough it was the guy who played as the guy with hearing aids. So I came by his booth greeted him, told him how much I love his evil hearing aid scene and Plus the "you're fucked" parody map also he responded back and sure enough decided to post a selfie with me free of charge for no reason which is badass! And before walking off I also spot it the "you're fucked" in T-shirt that he was selling also based off from Freddy's dead movie. Nuts I went off to the Buffy the vampire slayer book panel talk which turned out to be some quite boring and not a special guest that I even bother recognizing so I end up walking off. Next I walk to the legendary Hall hell to attend this hostile detective agency tv show panel talk between both celebs that I wanted to see talk life "Elijah wood "and "Fiona Dourif" and to my surprise I was able to get inside the place and not only that lineup for the special Q&A but after a couple of hours The panel talk didn't have enough time to even get our questions answered even the first guy in line didn't get a chance to meaning it was a big waste of time. Afterward, I decided to go explore more around the middle of the monstrous exhibit hall where all the activities including the good shit were happening. My favorite one was The Walking Dead massive activity booth with real life zombie actors Gated with a huge fence around them trying to eat the other walking dead fans, hell yes! The next panel that I attended was a Comic-Con talks back panel and before attending that when out of my curiosity I spotted another autograph booth and it was another guy that I soon recognized by one of his pictures displayed on his booth played as The guy from a nightmare on elm street 4 and 5. Who was killed in the evil motorcycle death scene! after telling him how fucking awesome that people motorcycle death scene was and how that scene was one with the wires crawling into his flesh. For no apparent, my luck has doubled and decided he would sign me a free autograph which was made my Sunday twice as better since last year at comic con, hell yes! YES!! So I made it to the panel talk featuring "John Rogers" the comic con president himself taking notes and hearing our feedbacks and complaints about this year at comic con. And when my chance came, I walked up to the mic and first I congratulate him for making comic con super popular around the world and how you continue to surprise me every single day on how they were able to book so many top celebrities to this convention about every year. Second I told him my suggestion on bringing back the creators of South Park back to Comic-Con international since last year I mentioned to you about losing my chance of getting my question answered by the creators of South Park, and the Comic con president said he would make sure that would happen in the near future. And less I made my complaint about the whole hall Hell situation that three people had mentioned to John Rogers before me and he agreed to make sure that Hall Hell will never suffer the same longer-lasting waiting problem in the massive lining system. Afterward, I just wanted to go down and explore even more never before seen massive activity boost that I never got a chance to view and as I was busy trying to search for a booth where they sell those monster size souvenir bags to purchase when I came across the Star Wars one. And after viewing that activity booth and just as I was talking to walk out when I saw Eliza again and said hello and said the same thing back to her, yes!!!!! After I have gotten my Blizzard World of Warcraft massive souvenir bag 5 PM came around and the whole exhibit hall finally closed and I decided to and my whole entire day with exploring the outdoor activity festival that was going around and which I have never explored around from last year. After yesterday from coming back from Comic-Con international and from waking up very early at 3:47 AM in the morning to try to get to the 6:25 AM flight back to San Jose at 7:58am I crashed at my moms place to sleep for a longer time to try to make up for more sleep from last night. Still today I feel a bit more sleepy from last night lol! But fuck it was worth the whole fun day from last Sunday at comic con international but I can promise you all I promise next year will be even better from this year but until then I got to get back to my work on my latest Dr.choker cartoon revision episode of goodbye cruel world rebirth, byEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

[tessatechaitea]

Superman #17

Solomon Grundy, right? It must be Solomon Grundy.

Maybe lead with "My grandfather is missing!" instead of "The cow got out of the pasture." I don't know. Just a thought. But who am I to judge, a person who wrote a sentence that included "kids" and "finger banging" (but not in the way that you're thinking after reading that, you criminal perv!)."

The kids hop on their bikes the way kids always do when they're off to solve a mystery or to save an alien from the government or to find a pirate's treasure or to save a number from the government or to save almost anything from the government. Why aren't kids all over America hopping on their bikes and figuring out a way to save America from the government? And by "government," I mean "Republican party who are so into being fellated by corporations that they've decided people employed by those corporations are greedy pieces of shit for wanting to be compensated fairly." Maybe I should buy stock in GT and Haro? Come on, kids! Get on your bikes and fight the power! The neighbor, Kathy (not Trixie Belden like I first thought. Nor Nancy Drew like I second thought. Nor neither Tom or Dave Hardy like I third thought), explains that Bessie the Cow (Bessie?! That's the most unoriginal cow name in the entire world! It's so unoriginal that, I suppose, it becomes the de facto cow name. Anything else would cause comic book readers to lose their sense of disbelief in the story) would never go into Dead Man's Swamp. How does Kathy know what a cow would or wouldn't do? I'm fairly certain the only predictable thing a cow does is eat grass and shit. But then I'm not a farmer, so I apologize to all the farmers and ranchers out there actuallying me right now and telling me all about how cows have personality and how loving they are and how, duh!, they'd never go into a scary swamp! Also, don't fucking actually me about the names of the Hardy Boys. Who really knows their first names?! At the most, you probably read Tom and Dave and thought, "Wait. Those can't be their actual names, right?!" Then you consulted Lord Google, found out their real names, and decided to throw your new facts into my face. Well, I don't give a shit about the Hardy Boys! They can go fuck each other in the shower at the YMCA for all I care! From now on, those fuckers are Tom and Dave Hardy! Superboy was watching a scary movie before coming out to the scary swamp so he's likely to overreact and cut Kathy's grandfather in two with his heat vision when the old man comes lumbering out of the shadows. Oh! He's probably the monster that lurks in Dead Man's Swamp! Or maybe the monster lurking there is simply misogyny.

Eeep! The monster! It's the legendary Broccoli Brains! Of, um, New Jersey legend! Oh wait. This is New York. Never mind.

While running from Broccoli Brains (distant kin of Pumpkinhead), the kids run through that Incredibly Shrinking Fog that used to be a problem in the Sixties. After that, Pete and Pat decide to write to their strong suit again: hurting animals.

Fucking assholes. First you have Jon kill a cat and now you're having him brain a raccoon. You've now fucked with two of my three favorite animals. What's next? Is Jon going to finger bang a goat?

Yesterday, I went to pick up a grilled cheese at The Cup and Saucer around the corner. As I waited for my to go order at the bar, the server said, "I've been seeing your totem animal a lot lately around dusk." Usually I'm confused by statements like this. But I knew I was wearing my knitted raccoon-face tuque (with the ear flaps and hanging ties) so I knew exactly what she was talking about. It's also possible shed didn't even notice my tuque and just read my aura. I'm a total raccoon dude. The kids rush to hide in an old house. Maybe the fog didn't shrink them. Maybe it just made the animals bigger. Or maybe it's all just part of The Mystery of Dead Man's Swamp! And hopefully, seeing as how this is a mystery, the house they just found is The House of Mystery. It would be nice to have it make a Rebirth appearance. Jon does a couple of things that highlight his super strength and partial invulnerability but Kathy doesn't make the connection that maybe he's some kind of Superboy. Which is weird because she knows he can fire lasers out of his eyes. I guess in a world of superheroes, you take it in stride when somebody shows some kind of power. It's not like just having laser eyes makes you anything more than a poor man's Cyclops (who is already a Poor Man's superhero in general, being that he's a whiny douche). The house starts to fall apart around them but they manage to get upstairs (which seems like a weird place to go when the house is collapsing) where they find Bessie screaming and dancing a jig before she belches up tons of milk. This is the worst Trixie Belden story I've ever read. Jon and Kathy decide to hide in a well until the craziness passes. Eventually Bessie and Kathy's grandfather discover them. Kathy's grandfather tells them they were probably hallucinating on Swamp Gas. But at the end of the story, Kathy's grandfather stands creepily in a cornfield in much the same way Broccoli Brains stood! Who could he and Bessie actually be? I think he's Fiddler's Green back in the real world and Bessie is the cow that jumped over the moon and barfed out the Milky Way. The Ranking! No change! So, what monster lurks in Dead Man's Swamp? I don't know! This stupid comic book didn't answer the question! It just raised more questions about Kathy's grandfather and his dancing, bulimic cow! Hee hee! "Bulimic cow." That's a pun, right?!