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Cullen: *sends a six-minute video*

Duke, thirty-seven seconds later: Ha ha, that was so funny, thanks for sending it.

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Each reblog is another Batmobile added to the batarang budget

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Can Zatanna charge playing cards with explosive energy like Gambit (X-men)?

In theory, yes. She would need to charge them with a spell but there are a few different ways to go about it

First option, she charges each card in the moment. Better for slower patrols or small-scale battles where she can take the time to recite a spell backward, or if she encounters a situation that calls for a really specific tactic

Second option, she charges the whole deck before going into battle. That would probably take some pre-planning but would work for larger missions. If she gives each card a different function, she'd have to remember which card does what though

The funniest option, knowing Marvel and DC have crossed over before, she outsources it to Gambit entirely ("Z, who's this guy?" "Idk I found him on Craigslist")

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Damian: What a gorgeous, herbaceous medley!

Jason: There’s been a mistake. You’ve accidentally given me the food that my food eats.

Dick: Salad is traditionally the first course at a wedding.

Jason: Is a gerbil marrying a rabbit?

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Tim: No, it’s cool. You guys got your little hero thing. I’m fine. I mean, I got better things to do than tag along with some superpowered research party.

Kon: You can join in.

Bart: *nods*

Tim: Okay, but only because I lied about having better things to do.

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https://youtube.com/shorts/SZk5aBOQUR0?si=dCAn7_Zy2STiORc8

While I'm okay with credited reposts (and actually do enjoy them), I do NOT give permission to use AI on them for any reason. Also, the AI just killed all the comedic value

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what's the most unhinged ways they got a job

Recruiter: *walks by with a stack of applications*

Harper: *slips hers in*

———————

Cullen, writing his resumé: Hm... I don't have a work history. All I do is post Red Robin fanfics and moderate a Discord server...

Cullen: Aha!

[later]

Interviewer: I'm impressed. Not many people your age have management experience on top of publishing multiple eBooks.

———————

Duke: *scrolling through social media until 2AM* 

[later]

Interviewer: Why should we select you for this position?

Duke: I'll make things easier for my colleagues, for example if they have small children or just want to take that ski trip they saved up for. 

Interviewer: That's good to hear. I have three toddlers myself and I'll admit, I need the occasional mountain getaway.

———————

Recruiter: This young man seems like a promising candidate. Let me check his references. 

Recruiter: *calls a reference*

Tim, in an accent: Alvin Draper speaking. 

———————

Damian: *submits multiple applications under different names*

Damian: *gets multiple interview offers*

Damian: *books them all*

[later]

Interviewer: Considering all of our other applicants were no-shows for their interviews, you got the job.

———————

Steph, who doesn't have an interview: *walks in*

Steph: Hi, I'm here for my interview. 

———————

[employee break room]

Dick, who doesn't work there: How's about that weather, eh?

Employee: I'm sorry, who are you?

Dick: Dick Grayson. I'm new here. It's been busy so no one's trained me yet. 

Employee: Come on, I'll show you the ropes. 

———————

[emailing]

Barbara, who doesn't work there: Good morning! I still haven't received my W-2. Could you please resend it at your earliest convenience?

HR: Apologies for that! Here you go.

HR: *sends her the form*

———————

Jason: *sends 200 blank pages to the printer*

Employee, hitting the printer: Stupid thing, always acting up.

Jason: Need a hand?

Employee: Sure, if you can fix it.  

Jason: I can, but I'm not in a place to do it for free.  

———————

Other employees: *working*

Cass: *silently joins them*

———————

Bruce: *glances around the office*

Bruce: Since when did all my kids work here?

BONUS – here's a fic where Alfred lied on his resumé to be a butler

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Dick: Now that you quit smoking, what do you tell people when you come up here?

Jason: That I need a break from their crap.

Dick: Fair enough.

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Stephanie: How long do you think it will take you to do this?

Barbara: I don’t know, probably three or four.

Stephanie: Three or four what? Days? Weeks? Months?

Barbara: Maybe five.

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Bad DC worldbuilding idea #2

The Fortress of Solitude has a new neighbor

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Clark: Tim is coming over.

Kon: Tim from next door or Tim who is good at disguises?

Clark: Tim—

*pulls off mask*

Tim: —who is good at disguises!

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Dick: ...and her dad looks EXACTLY like the Pixar guy. Steve What's-His-Name. Jobs?

Kory: "Pixar guy?"

Donna: You always know famous people for such weird reasons.

Dick: What do you mean?

Barbara: Who is John Lennon?

Dick: Wasn't he in a band? With Ringo from Shining Time Station.

Wally: How is THAT your main association?

Dick: I also know he once did a song with the guy from Labyrinth.

Roy: You mean David Bowie? I think he's famous for some other stuff, too.

Dick: Oh yeah, he was also in Zoolander! I forgot that movie. It came out back when Jenna Bush's dad was president.

Everyone: *sighs*

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It's even funnier when you consider that New Jersey's minimum age is 16 for a learner's permit

Dick could legally drive in other places before he could drive in Gotham

what if the Batmobile wasn’t even registered in the US, but in Canada or something

New game: spin a wheel to see which COUNTRY your Batmobile would be registered

I got America 😔

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What comics do you mainly take inspiration from for your characterization?

Me personally it's a combination of the 90s-2010s mainline comics, a little bit of WFA, and living 4 hours from New Jersey

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Alfred: Your alfredo's dry. Did you use your cheese?

Stephanie: When you say "use," do you mean "eat as a pre-cooking snack?"

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Terrible DC worldbuilding ideas part 1

The New Jersey Turnpike, a 14-lane highway, runs through Gotham

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Bruce: My son wrote an essay about how much he hates mayonnaise and it begins, "As a scribe, I see fit to write down all my troubles" and ends, "I fell to the ground and moaned for the next few hours, lying in the moonlight and wishing to die."