#sweet fucking stars.

[erstwhilesparrow]

trying to put some thoughts in order. under the cut for length.

0: soulmates as straightforward romantic trope

i mean, i get it. sometimes i get sad and go read the sappiest, shippiest, fluffiest fic i can find and it does help. (and yeah, i know it's more complicated than that sometimes but this isn't the point.) it'd be really fucking nice if there was someone out there 'meant for you'. convenient. a little less lonely. someone who gets it when no one else does. someone you can be sure of. someone you can pour your whole heart into, knowing you're doing exactly what you're meant to.

1: soulmates as assigned seating

no frills or bells. you meet them and you know and that's it. what you do with that information is entirely up to you. is it any different from group project assignments handed out by a teacher? is it any different from meeting a person and deciding you like them enough to stick around? what undeniable truth can mark something as ephemeral as a relationship? is it nice just to have someone or something else make the choice for you? would you have even looked at each other without the prompting? did you fail to look at others because you were not prompted? do you wish it was someone else but resign yourself to this anyway because it's not like it matters, you don't have to choose to stick with them? does that become half the reason you're still here, because you could still leave any day now?

2: soulmates as unwelcome imposition

a reaction to an unpleasant intrusion on your life. something binds you to them, and it doesn't feel right or good or any of the things soulmate is supposed to mean when people tell you about those. can you get rid of it? if it can, what does it mean that something supposed to tie you together forever can be removed? if it can't, can you love someone when given no choice? what can you hold on to that is solely your own, once a relationship begins to define you? where do you fit into the worlds of people who are not bothered? do you overcorrect in the other direction and hurt someone who did not mean to inflict this on you? are you being less harsh than you should be because you have been told this is supposed to be good, because you know what it will look like? what will you be made to do to "make up for it"? what evidence will you have to collect to prove you don't want or need this?

3: soulmates as unforgiving want

that thing where you don't realize you're hungry until you're presented with food, but with a whole person, and there is no satisfying that particular hunger. did they meet you and find you lacking? are you somehow lacking because you cannot be sated by what has been given to you? or is it instead that it is supposed to wear on you like this? would you have been this discomfited if it had never been pointed out to you what you could have had? how do you moderate your expectations back to "reasonable", if such a thing exists when it comes to soulmates? will any relationship you have after this measure up now that you know the depth and intensity of feeling you are capable of? have you ruined every pleasure you could experience by indulging too much here? have you ruined it for yourself by refusing to take? does it really get worse the longer you hold back? are you refusing to let go, to let time soothe this ache for you?

4: soulmates as unremarkable prologue

it works. it's good, actually. it's how you met. no preconceptions, only both your futures ahead of you. is this better than all of your previous relationships? what makes it better? would you call any of those previous relationships "real" love now? who did you leave behind in going through with this? do you wish you could have had this sooner? would you rather have had them all your life? is all of this more real because you followed the rules? what might have happened if you had pushed in any direction other than the one you were meant to? could you have done this with another person, a different one that no one chose except you? are you relieved to have the uncertainty taken away from you? do you feel there is another uncertainty about how willing you would have been to care for this person if you hadn't started this relationship knowing? are you going to ask your soulmate these questions? what are you relying on to keep the two of you together?

5: soulmates as pretty veneer

it looks like it works. maybe for a little while it even does. but something's going wrong, though it wouldn't look it from the outside. can you pin it down, to the day, to the hour, to the second? can there be a satisfaction to seeing clearly your coming end? can true love of the kind you were told stories of be like a chain? were you kind of expecting it to be? does true love go sour in that way, or were you always faking it? are you faking it now? are you faking it well enough? is it a kind of love still, to look the enemy of your enemy in the eyes and agree to their proposal? do you understand the shape of your mutual adversary? are you too busy making it all look right so you can finally get that happiness you were promised? do you believe it, when other people say they want what you have? do you believe that they could? do you believe it could have ever worked out? does believing anything help with the reality of it?

6: soulmates as open wounds

you can't forget them; you aren't allowed to. the mark it leaves on you is obvious, and the absence of your other half even more so. does being told you were born incomplete make it so? is there really something wrong with you? does being hurt by something meant to help mean you're the one who failed? is there something to fail? in what ways do people find themselves indelibly bound to one another for the worse? is it better than forgetting, than being forgotten? does defiance come easier from this? is this punishment for defiance? what do the people who look at you say about that visible absence? will you look past them to something outside their concerns? is there anything out there? is this safer in its consistency?

7: soulmates as puppets that can see their own strings

the question is not one of circumstance or of compatibility or of care. the question is structural, is composed of people pressing buttons and flicking levers in a system where they will never see the end result. does it need to be two? does it need to be love? are any of the words you're using to describe this relationship necessary to talking about what is happening to you? how deeply embedded in romance is the language around relationships? does this simplify aspects of your navigation around and into each other's lives? does it smooth away important nuances? do you find yourself wishing for uglier words to describe this situation? do you find those words? do you find the script? do you recognize it for what it is, or will you keep playing the role it sets out for you? what story ends up getting told here? what does it mean for you?

[kaffkanya]

you KNOW they fucked after this. like, you wouldnt want to be their quarters neighbor that day. i know it was NASTY. i just know it.

[thegoldenappleofdiscord]

"nico would never be this cringey" romans, countrymen, lovers. nico called will a debbie downer in tower of nero. and a significant annoyance. yes he's going to call will the dumbest nicknames ever but have you ever considered... he's just always been this way (and that 'cute' and 'cringey' aren't mutually exclusive)

[bon-sides-sw]

When you're littol, just swore your creed, also have a younger brother

S3 Inspired my to draw bebi Din and Paz

[chrisbangs]

BANG CHAN — Special MC KCON LA DAY 3 (230821)

[respectthepetty]

*about my stand-in* A chained up kidnapping plot? And it's only episode 4? Why I never!

I originally thought it was going to be sexy times with Joe's hands tied behind him when he lifted Ming's shirt with his mouth.

Only to realize during the fourth episode's previews that Ming was going to fuck Joe over.

And yet . . . I loved it because it actually showed how crazy Ming is . . .

ABOUT JOE!

We know Ming is jealous and possessive, but he didn't hold Joe hostage to help Tong but because Tong activated Ming's batshit crazy behavior the second he mentioned Sol.

So, like, good for him really loving Joe in a completely fucked up way where he'd rather tie Joe up, feed him, and spend all his money on him just to keep him away from his friend.

That's the toxic behavior I like to see!

What a fucking pathetically insane asshole.

I love him the most-est.

[sixteenthtry]

‼️EXTREMELY IMPORTANT‼️

I HAVE TO CHOOSE AN MCR PICTURE TO PUT ON MY BIRTHDAY CAKE AND I ALREADY HAVE SOME IDEAS BUT I'M OPEN TO OTHERS!

(they must include Gerard, Ray, Frank and Mikey obv and preferably revenge era🙏🏻)

[catgirljaneway]

if there's one thing Kathryn Janeway is gonna do, it's look at her employees like the 🥺🥺 emoji

[qingxin-dream]

ah, to be a lazy kitty resting across wanderer’s thigh…

credits: @/genshinimpact on x

[froglover7789]

its come to my attention that a lot of my thoughts about mr lukesguyliker make it seem like i think hes some kind of useless twink and i would like to clarify that that is NOT what i mean ever.

bro is very competent. bro is super strong. bro is genuinely terrifying. but also......... he is a certified drama queen who loves to complain and a certified trouble magnet. i think a lot of people mistake that and his lack of stoicism as weakness/submissiveness.

i have a deep hate for people who make him all meek and hyperfem and shit. ive seen a lot of shit that infantilizes him and it just pisses me off esp bc so many mlm ships end up falling victim to the big strong daddy and weak little baby stereotype bullshit. like nah. fuck outta here. literally who are you talking about. bro races the space equivalent of cars and goes hunting for fun. bro has a kill count in the millions. bro could kill you with half a thought. he dont need some daddydom freaky weirdo to do everything for him. he needs an equal who isnt scared of him.

[feroluce]

So this ficlet-ish thing was inspired by @hydrachea, nsfw super genius extraordinaire, but also by the fact that in addition to Boothill's left eye being cybernetic, I like to hc even the parts of him that look human aren't fully natural. I mean the dude eats bullets, after all. I think he should also have vents in his mouth so he can literally blow smoke/steam, it would look super cool. Think Father Gascoigne or Studio BONES' Todoroki. We as a fandom deserve that!!

So anyway, of course, sometimes these vents get blocked up and need to be cleaned manually. Thankfully, Dan Heng is super helpful ☆

Like there's one day where Boothill is lazing around in the archives, fresh off a bounty and happily soaking up the luxury of the Astral Express after however long he's spent tracking his prey through all the dust and dirt with almost no rest.

Boothill likes it in the archives. It's not silent, but it's quiet. There's no music and only muffled voices from outside, but there's the hum of all the computer systems. It makes for a nice place to hide away and recharge when he's just finished exhausting himself.

And besides, Dan Heng is there.

Sometimes the two of them talk back and forth, but today it's mostly quiet...except for-

"I didn't know it was possible for you to get sick."

...Except for Boothill having to constantly clear his throat. That's the thing about your mark trying to flee into the desert. You either go after them and get sand everywhere (and even worse, sticky sand once it gets all bloody) or you wuss out and lose out on the bounty. Personally, Boothill likes being able to afford to eat.

"Grit's stuck in a vent somewhere, 'n' the usual maintenance ain't gettin' it. I'll prob'ly have ta manually dig it out." But later, when he's not laid out half asleep on Dan Heng's extra futon. Usually after a chase as long as this one took, he can shut down for almost a full day. He doesn't want to get up yet.

Something shadows over him, and reflex demands Boothill's eye open. Dan Heng steps around him on his way to some drawer built in the wall on the other side of the room or something. Boothill closes his eye again.

From under his hat he hears the sounds of rummaging, drawers sliding open and shut, the swish of a long coat. The shadow returns.

"Sit up, just momentarily. I have something to help." And Boothill groans a tired don't wanna, but he does it anyway, he hauls himself upright into a kneel. And then he sits up a little straighter because he realizes Dan Heng is standing right over him.

Dan Heng tells him "open your mouth," and Boothill's jaw pops open without his permission, without even a second thought, and hey, what protocol in there ok'd THAT?!?!

Before he can really unpack whatever the heck that just was, though, Dan Heng murmurs for him to say so if he needs them to stop, and then he's sliding a long, hard rod down Boothill's throat, tipped with some soft little brush he probably uses for all his fancy archival equipment.

Dan Heng tells him the handle of the brush is straight and can't be bent, he needs to move his head to be able to reach the vent in his throat. Boothill hums affirmatively; he can't do anything else with his mouth occupied.

Dan Heng's free hand holds him by his jaw, tilts it up slowly but firmly so he has to look straight up at him.

Boothill feels dizzy.

The cycle of blue blood through his artificial heart whirrs just a bit faster, his temperature sensor pings an internal alarm to warn for imminent overheating. Boothill curls his fingers into the guard over his knee as Dan Heng carefully brushes at the dust irritating him. All other sounds- the hum of running equipment, the occasional beep from the computers, the noise of the crew outside of this room- seem to pull away, until all Boothill can focus on is the steady and measured breathing from the man above him.

"Almost done."

Thank the aeons, maybe one of them likes him after all.

"Your tongue is in the way... I'm going to hold it down, ok?"

Nevermind.

The fingers holding his jaw curl around his chin, thumb slipping past open lips to dip into his mouth and pin down his tongue. One of his teeth catch on the digit, breaking skin just enough to bleed a drop where he can taste it. Dan Heng doesn't even flinch. Another temperature alarm pings off in his brain, then another, then another.

Boothill has never been shy about eye contact but oh, god, it nearly kills him when dull green irises flick away from their task and look down right at him as his mouth is held open. He quickly squeezes his own eye shut for some relief.

With his vision cut off, the rest of his senses automatically recalibrate to compensate. He can hear every breath even more distinctly now, every soft inhale and exhale, feel the strain in his neck, the softness of the brush, the hard floor beneath his knees, the hand holding his jaw and the fingerprints that feel like they should leave burns in his skin, the taste of Dan Heng heavy on his tongue-

Forget it, eye open, eye open!!

"Alright. There's one last pebble stuck."

Boothill had been trained to endure torture, back on his homeworld. It was part of being in a gang, part of being a bounty hunter.

Somehow, keeping himself quiet and still as Dan Heng inches the brush even further down the back of his throat is a profoundly similar experience.

The seconds tick by, Dan Heng's brow furrowing, face growing ever more concentrated and Boothill struggles not to watch him too closely, fights down the noise that suddenly tries to escape him as the brush withdraws-

"Swallow."

Stars and aeons, Dan Heng is going to be the death of him.

Boothill swallows. He feels it when the movement finally dislodges the loosened pebble from his vent.

His face feels shockingly cold now bereft of touch, even though Dan Heng's hands are always cool. He asks to see, and Boothill's mouth is already open again to show him, even as he belatedly realizes he could have just told him it had worked.

"Good." There's the slightest smile on Dan Heng's lips as he finally, mercifully, leans back out of his personal space, goes to put away the brush. "That should feel better now." Boothill spends a moment dizzy and dazed, feeling the need to blink spots out of his eye even though his vision is clear. He still hasn't moved off his knees.

What the fudge.

[sweaters-and-vertigo]

y’all omega was a medical assistant at kamino. she knows about biology. she knows what a period is, she knows how babies (clone & non-clone) are made, and she’s probably seen a dead body before the show started.

[grand-line-shenanigans]

Yippee!!

[0rchidm4ntis]

Midsummer night's dream

[another-goblin]

Spoilers for Jingliu's mission

Just some random thoughts

[b4adb4tcher]

imagine being crosshair and the asshole who completely ruined your life and treated you like a weapon FINALLY got his karma and you think maybe just maybe things will start to look up.

and then Barton IV happens.

and then Tantiss happens.

and then miraculously the light of your life, your new baby sister, comes and gets you both out. and you reunite with your family and its not perfect but it’s better than it was and its almost good if it wasn’t for your past reminding you what good and whole actually looks and feels like.

and then the empire comes. and not only does it take the light of your life, but YOU lost her.

and now you have to subject yourself to rampart again.

and now, even though its the last place you ever wanted to see again, you have to return to tantiss. you thought you escaped, but really it was only temporary, and now theres a very real chance you go in and never come out again. just like last time.