Birdie Shoppe || pjm (VIII)
Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Other tags: Werewolf!Jimin, Witch!Reader, Shifter!Reader, Shifter!Jimin, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Jimin
Genre: Supernatural!AU, Werewolf!AU, Angst, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Smut,
Word Count: 8.8k+
Synopsis: Within the four realms of Lustra lay the Bangtan forest home to the Foxglove pack of the north and known as the “land of magic.” It is also home to the Birdie, a powerful witch from a cursed bloodline who is one of the sacred guardians of the forest. Y/N is the 123rd Birdie, a young girl who was given her position too early and asked by the goddess herself to fulfil a task none had ever done before- become the Grand Witch of the Foxglove pack. Now a woman, Y/N is revered as the most loved and powerful Birdie of all time, but hiding under the surface is a woman who has to battle between her duty and her heart.
Warnings: Cursing, ANGSTY, crying, emotional turmoil, panic attack, anxiety, some fluff, more backstory, banter, mentions of violence, talks of death, just a lot of heart strings being pulled in every direction, the slow burn is slow burning, brief mentions of sex, brief sexual tension
A/N: I love all of these characters so much it’s insane. Thank you so much for your continued loved and support with this series. Writing this had been so much for me and I appreciate your kind words more than anything! This was originally going to be a much longer chapter, but after seeing how long we were getting already I decided to break it in half. The next part will be up in a few weeks! (also how do we feel about the roman numerals instead of numbers?)
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The sun was high in the sky, its rays warming my face as I stood by the window and laughed. Outside my friends had been tending my small garden while I sat inside and made dolls with the children. Litha has always been one of my favorite sabbots to celebrate even if I could only enjoy it looking out a window. Beside me, Mariana showed off her pretty doll covered in flower petals and colorful yarn. With a large grin on my face I told her how beautiful it was.
The sea coven had come over to celebrate along with Seokjin and Yoongi. Wendy had attacked me the second she saw me, her hug knocking all the air from my chest, and I knew we were alright. She and Jin had spoken and smiled with one another and warmth spread throughout my chest. I was glad to see they were able to be friendly with one another. I was even happier when she hardly acknowledged Yoongi’s presence outside of a greeting. The kitchen witch seemed happier about it than Jin.
I heard Cordelia’s boisterous laugh from outside as she began telling Taehyung the story of a “little thief.” Rolling my eyes, I laughed to myself. I would never live down taking from her garden it seems. I heard Hyun-Jin brush her off, his deep voice smooth and monotone, and Wendy’s shrill laugh follow. Everyone was in high spirits today. Looking out the window again, I caught sight of Jimin and Yoona talking. Yoongi’s mother had moved out of Bangtan after Aldara’s death, as did Hoji, Heji, and Taejin, and I had not seen her much since. I was happy everyone had decided to come today. It had been a very long time since we were all together like this. Feeling my eyes on him, Jimin looked my way and grinned.
I smiled back at him shyly before holding up my own doll. They were a very common thing to make during the sabbots. Normally, you would use whatever you had lying around and sticks. This morning everyone had gone out to collect sticks, twigs, leaves, and flowers for the kids to get started with. I had gone out of my way to gather up my crafting supplies so they could have extra options. My doll was a simple bundle of twigs wearing a skirt of leaves and wildflowers. Jimin’s smile grew and he gave me a thumbs up. Giggling, I went back to helping the kids make the doll bodies.
“Snatcher!” Cordelia yelled, her voice thick with amusement. “Why haven’t you told these gentlemen about the fae incident?”
Knocking my head back, I laughed loudly and clutched my stomach. It had been so long since I had felt this carefree. Leave it to Cordelia to bring up one of our most embarrassing childhood stories.
“It never came up,” I got out, wiping the tears from my eyes.
I could hear my trio of friends all protesting, their laughter just as bright as mine. Wendy begged Cordelia to not speak a word while Jin threatened to never send her another shipment of honey again. Putting my doll down, I leaned against the windowsill and chuckled.
“When we were about nine,” I started. Cordelia laughed as their insults were not being weighed at me. “Yoon, Jin, Wen, and I were all out in the forest playing. We were very serious about our games then and tag was the most ruthless game of them all. We played dirty, too.”
I laughed to myself at the memory. We had gone way too far into the forest and up into Moland. While I was allowed to explore everywhere I wanted to go, Wendy was forbidden from going out of the forest and her aunt would be very angry with her if she had. We had not noticed how far away we had gone until Jin had found himself falling into the swamp.
“Well, while we were in Moland,” I continued, “We had gotten really scared. We always heard the story of the three-eyed alligator from Thelma, she’s a swamp witch who is good friends with everyone, and we thought we were going to get eaten up. Instead, Jin fell, sprained his ankle, and got stuck in a fairy circle.
“Or, at least that’s what we thought. We made such a fuss over him and how he was going to be lost forever that we disturbed an actual forest faerie. They’re called Ghillie Dhus and they’re very nice. Well, all of us thought that it was about to steal Jin so we tried to fight it. Instead, it just laughed at us and said he had just fallen into a mushroom patch.”
Wendy laughed, “And then I started crying because it was getting dark!”
I nodded, struggling to catch my breath. “And then Yoon begged the fairy to take us home.”
Yoongi finally cut in, a large smile on his face. “Thelma ended up finding us cause we were being so loud and got us all in trouble.”
“Except for B,” Jin pouted. “Aldara always let her get away with stuff like that.”
I scoffed, “You try being trapped inside for eighty years and telling someone else they can’t explore.”
A kid tapped my shoulder and the conversation was dropped. Taking the bundle of twigs, I wrapped them tightly with cord before taking another bundle and tying them with an ‘x’ to create the arms. It looked like a cross before you added the legs. Adding another set of twigs to the bottom, the doll could stand up by itself and I glued a puffy ball to the top of the neck. The child, Diggory, thanked me and started decorating. That would be his fourth doll. Mariana still had the most of them all.
The house began to smell of bread and I smiled. Everyone had brought something to eat with them. We always made focaccia here so I kept the tradition alive. Cordelia made sure to cook lots of fish while Yoongi made a delicious soup. Jin, like always, brought nothing except honey. Yoona had brought homemade lilac wine with her and the Kims made a delicious tofu stir fry. Later today I would have the kids help me make my famous lilac and lemon shortbread cookies. Jin had gotten so excited when I told him I was planning on making them and got Taehyung to join in on his begging, so I felt obligated to entertain them just this once.
“When are we getting cookies?” Seokjin whined, his timing creeping me out.
I hated when that happened.
“Whenever I get around to making them,” I replied, sassily. “If you want them so badly you can make them yourself.”
Still, despite my remarks I stood up and went over to my recipe book. They were extremely easy to make but I was not sure if I had enough butter to make them. I had not made any nut butters in a few weeks, but looking over the recipe again I was not as worried. I only needed two sticks or 16 tablespoons. Poking the inside of my cheek, I nodded and took out a few bowls and spoons.
“Who wants to help?” I asked.
All five of the children jumped at the idea and I had my hands full keeping them all under control. Mariana only agreed to let me zest the lemons if I let her cream the butter and sugar together by herself. Diggory and his brother Zyell fought over who would add the lemon juice and who would roll the dough. I told Diggory he could pour the lemon juice but Zyell would be able to put the arrowroot powder. Everyone would get the chance to cut out the cookies.
“What’s in the sugar?” Cordelia’s daughter, Rori, asked.
Chuckling, I shook my head and told the kids to step away from the cookies. Capturing their attention was simple enough, and once they noticed the sugar had a slight purple hue and flowers in it they were climbing all over me to get a closer look. I had to admit, infused sugars always looked beautiful. Lilac sugar was the prettiest of them all.
“It’s infused sugar,” I explained. I got a large round of ego boosting “oh’s” and grinned. “Those purple things are lilacs. They’re delicious when you add them to the sugar.”
“Where did you learn that?” Diggory asked.
My smile fell slightly, “My aunt.”
“Woah,” Zyell exclaimed overdramatically. “She must have been the greatest, best cook ever in the world.”
Laughing, I shooed them away and went back to making the cookies. It was strange having children so young running around the cottage. The thoughts of Jimin and the Yule tree came to my mind again and I shook my head in frustration. I needed to pay attention. I would not put anything about this mischievous bunch.
“All of you,” I demanded, “Outside. Now. I have to turn the stove on and none of you are allowed around the fire. Understand?”
“Yes, cousin B,” Rori sing-songed before they all ran out the front door.
Striking up the fire, I laughed to myself at the title. Since when did I become cousin B? I would have to speak to Wendy about that. Listening to the conversations outside, I felt giddy as I finished putting the cookies in the oven. I began to make a simple glaze icing and hummed along to the melody in my head.
“May I ask you something, Jimin?” My ears pricked at the sound of Yoona’s voice.
“Yes, ma’am,” He replied.
He sounded slightly out of breath and I put the icing to the side for a moment. The sun was high in the sky now and they had to be thirsty. Taking out a few glasses, I placed them on a small tray.
“Can I trust you to take care of Birdie for me?” The older witch asked, her voice earnest.
Embarrassed, I bucked my head slightly as I grabbed my large decanter of smreka. It was nice to hear her still looking after me even though I was a woman now. I felt guilty for not keeping up with her as often as I should have. Aldara would be furious with me if she were here.
“She’s very important to me,” Jimin replied, his voice dropping slightly. I could not hear if he said anything more after that since Taehyung’s loudness echoed through my meadow. Gritting my teeth, I focused harder. “I’ll be sure she’s taken care of.”
Yoona sighed, “Thank goodness. I worry about her so much. It might sound silly but after the wolf situation I’ve been on pins and needles.”
My entire body froze and all of the conversations around me stopped. It was an honest mistake, a slip up, but that did not stop my anger from flaring. The betrayal hit me like a truck and the fondness for Yoona I had felt moments before evaporated. How dare she?
“What are you talking about?” Jin asked.
I squeezed my eyes shut and slammed the decanter on the island. The bowl of icing shook with the force. Focusing on my breathing, I knew I would have to play this off as best I could and hoped to God that Yoona would do the same.
As always, she bounced back from her mistake with ease.
“Don’t you remember that giant wolf that used to run around the forest a few years ago? It was massive and used to scare Birdie when she was a little kid.”
Hoji laughed, “Oh! Aldara used to giggle about it with me over tea sometimes.”
“Afraid of wolves, B?” Taehyung teased.
He had gotten comfortable with the nickname after overhearing Jin use it.
“Watch your mouth, freeloader,” I shot back, my wits still about. “It would be a shame if you had nowhere to sleep tonight.”
He laughed, “Please! Jin would take me in.”
The witch snorted in reply. “As if!”
Breathing easier, I went back to pouring. Filling them halfway, I used magic to lift small balls of the drink out of the decanter. Twirling them around in the air, I sang softly to myself and froze them all. I placed them in each of the glasses, having to redo the spell multiple times in order to chill each of them, before lifting the tray.
“What’s that?” Cordelia asked, taking the tray from me.
“Smreka,” I explained. “It’s fermented alcohol made from juniper and water. I like to sweeten it with agave nectar but honey is fine, too.”
The witch took a hefty sip before smiling. She liked it. Happy with my work, I took the glass I had made for myself and Cordelia passed around glasses to the others. Taehyung was not as happy with it but he was not a fan of alcohol. Frowning, I asked if he wanted lemonade instead.
Shaking his head he replied, “It’s fine. Good actually. Just strong.”
Taejin snorted, “You think this is strong? I can’t think of anything lighter.”
Hoji shoved his shoulder.
“Leave the boy alone. He’s just a lightweight is all.”
Taehyung seemed excited by the notion. I shook my head and sipped on my drink. Taejin was right. This was hardly considered alcohol and would take more than a few jars to have any effect. However, I was happy my friend liked it. I would have to let him try the lilac wine I would make this year. It was a very big hit.
After finishing my drink, I knew it was time to take the cookies out. I was very happy with the result and left them to cool for several minutes. The garden looked beautiful this year and I was immensely grateful to everyone who came. Grabbing two fistfuls of lilacs from my pantry, I placed them to the side so I could candy them.
“You eat rabbit food,” Cordelia joked.
“I’ve seen rabbits with better diets,” Heji chimed.
I ignored their taunts. Yoongi and I always received the most flack for our lifestyles. The kitchen witch less so than I. He would not avoid meat altogether and often feasted during holidays. I was far more conscious of my diet. The last cheat I had allowed myself was honey in my tea on the occasion. It was usually out of convenience or lack of other options, still I would never say I was perfect. I had even drank tea with honey at Jimin’s home. The memory brought a fresh set of butterflies to my stomach.
I still could not believe he had kept that stupid piece of paper.
“Did you know red meat isn’t good for you?” Yoongi mocked.
Taking the lilacs off the stove, I began icing the cookies and putting the flowers on the top of them. They would need to sit for a few more minutes. Lifting my hands, the dirty dishes around me started floating. Putting them in the sick, I charmed a sponge and soap to begin cleaning. The sponge bowed to me before turning on the water.
“Lettuce has no nutritional value,” Wendy bit back.
Laughing I poked my head out of the window.
“Enough. Come in and wash up. We have cookies to eat.”
Jin was inside before I could finish my sentence.
Jimin sat down beside me on the floor. The afternoon had settled everyone down and spread us around the house. The rose bushes in front of the house had been trimmed back beautifully and not a single thorn had been left behind. Yoongi had fallen asleep on my big, red chair and the other witches were talking quietly at the dining table. Cordelia had left earlier to bring the kids home. Smiling at the wolf, I rested my head on his shoulder.
“Thank you for helping with the garden,” I said.
He wrapped his arm around my waist. “Anytime.”
He pulled away and left me feeling cold. Wanting to frown, I scooted closer to him and sighed heavily. Everything felt right when we were this close but still the dangers coming were hard to push away. I could only hope that we would make it through whatever it may be before it was too late.
Kissing the top of my head, Jimin hummed.
“What’s going through that mind of yours?”
I smiled bashfully, “How nice this feels.”
That pulled a large, toothy grin out of the wolf. He was always ready and waiting for compliments like that. Shaking my head, I scoffed.
“Don’t let that get to your head now,” I mumbled.
“Too late for that,” Jimin teased. “Come on. Indulge me.”
Pushing his chest, I scowled playfully. Jimin’s eyes lit up and I smiled back at him. If only I could stay in his orbit… If only…
“You’re very handsome, though I’m sure you already know that. Have I ever told you how lovely your dimple is? I can’t remember-”
“Alright, alright,” He laughed, cradling my face in his hands. “I get it. Thank you. You’re embarrassing me.”
I laughed. He was somehow worse with compliments than I was. I heard Taehyung laughing from somewhere in the house and grew even more amused. If there was one person who enjoyed how flustered I could make Jimin it would have to be Kim Taehyung. Jimin groaned, obviously hearing the laughter even more clearly than I could, and hid his face in my hair.
“Now you’ve done it,” He complained. “I won’t hear the end of this for at least another week.”
The sadness weighing on my heart deepened. I did not think we had another week for Taehyung to tease Jimin. We would be lucky if we lasted a few days. I do not know why I felt that way, or how I could possibly know it, but I did. I stopped questioning it a long time ago.
“Poor thing,” I mocked.
I did not want to sour his good mood. Jimin had been radiant today and I would hate to take the happiness out of his eyes. Even if a part of me felt selfish for doing so, I wanted to keep him this way until the bitter end. I would always want to remember us this way. Twisting my head up, I kissed his jawline and curled into his side ever so slightly more.
“Oh, B!” Wendy exclaimed. “I’m so happy you’re finally together.”
“Same,” Yoongi deadpanned. “Still. A warning would have been nice. We are friends, aren’t we?”
I laughed, “Of course! I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”
“Just say it,” Jin replied, his tone condescending and filled with sarcasm.
“And you’re just the expert at love,” I replied, snarkily.
Jin laughed. We both knew the teasing was in good nature and rarely got upset with one another. Jimin leaned into me. I had not felt the need to hide our relationship anymore and after talking to Shiloh, I had felt even less inclined to remain subtle. My familiar had not been surprised but was hurt I had not told her sooner. She was even more dramatic when she learned that Wendy had known more than she did. It took a long night of talking to calm her down but she was happy for me. She could not remember the last time I had seemed so certain. Neither had I.
“Son,” Hoji warned, waving her finger at Seokjin. “Don’t go picking fights you can’t win.”
“You mother’s right,” Taejin added. “Crow would snap you in half.”
This made everyone laugh. It was no secret my fighting magic was lacking, and we had formed many inside jokes around it by now. If anything, I should stop picking jokes before the solar witch blinded me. He was fierce when he wanted to be.
“She does run with wolves, Jinnie,” Yoona mocked. “Big, bad, scary wolves.”
“Enough teasing,” I chuckled. “Especially if you can’t perform a simple levitation spell.”
Yoongi snickered at his mother’s scandalized expression. Yoona was a formidable witch, one of the best potionists I had ever met, but outside of that she was laughably horrible. Aldara had told me a story about her before. They had been fourteen and my aunt had been trying to show the kitchen witch an invisibility spell she had made. Yoona had accidentally teleported herself into Moland, and Thelma had to fish her out of the bogs and take her home. Hwasa, her mother, had been so angry with her she did nothing but polish and clean for a week.
“That was a low blow,” Yoona stood up and waved her hands dramatically. “And it was an invisibility spell! What practical use does that have?”
“Ma,” Yoongi drawled. “It’s okay if your magic is a little lacking. We can’t all be great at everything like me.”
“You better stop picking on your mother, young man!” Yoona shouted, unable to keep the laughter out of her tone. “You better pray at your altar ten times tonight and beg Lilith for forgiveness!”
“And if I don’t?”
Yoona had to stop herself from smiling. Biting her lip and flaring her nostrils, Yoona held her head up high.
“Then Krampus is going to gobble you up come Yule!”
Unable to stop herself, Yoona burst. Our loud laughs bounced off the walls of the cottage and I wiped the tears from my face. I had not realized just how much I had missed this. It made me hope for a bright future all the more and the ache in my chest to grow ever larger. My love for these people was overflowing and I hid my tears behind laughter. No one needed to know just how torn up I was. No one needed to know the only reason I had gone through with this party was so I could have one last good memory of us together. No one needed to know just how much I wanted to reach out and hold them for dear life. No one needed to know a thing.
“Oh no!” Yoongi jumped out of his seat, holding his face, with a mock look of horror. “Not Krampus! What ever will I do?”
“What if-” Wendy joined in on the little charade and gasped. “What if it’s not Krampus? What if it’s-” She stopped herself suddenly, faking emotion.
“The Yule cat,” Seokjin whispered, menacingly.
I let out a loud, over the top shriek. Ripping myself from Jimin’s arms, I ran to Yoongi and grasped his shoulders. Shaking him roughly, I tried my hardest to keep a straight face.
“I swear to you, I will make you a brand new outfit before then. Don't worry about anything, Yoonie.”
“And I’ll do all my chores,” He replied, clutching my biceps.
After a beat, we cracked up again. It was a common pastime to make fun of the Yule Cat in our circle. Yoona’s family was originally from a place called Kaltain. Instead of Yule Goats they had the Yule Cat. It is a huge, vicious cat that ate children who did not get new clothes for Yule. Apparently, children who did all of their chores got them while lazy children did not. It was always something we found silly but refrained from mentioning around Hwasa. She would have our heads if we ever made fun of the legend.
“What are you talking about,” Taehyung interrupted, popping his head in from outside.
“I’ll tell you later,” I promised.
Letting go of Yoongi, I went back to my spot next to Jimin. The conversation continued to babble on but I just wanted to be close to him again. He reached out for me and sat me down beside him. Holding onto my hand, Jimin tilted his head at me.
He looked skinnier than he had when he first arrived. The stress must be getting to him more than he let on. Still, he looked right out of a dream. His cheeks were dusted in pink and his eyes twinkled. I raised an eyebrow.
“When will I have you all to myself?” He asked, feigning innocence.
My heart rate sped up.
“Not today, I’m afraid.”
He smirked, “But tomorrow?”
I looked down and felt my ears growing hot. “That depends.”
“On what?”
“On you,” I whispered.
Sex had been something relatively off the table for Jimin. He had said he thought I was not ready for that just yet, and I was not confident enough to fight him about it. He seemed even more wary of it after our conversation in my room a few weeks ago. Still, he often alluded to it and enjoyed seeing how flustered I could get. An eye for an eye he called it.
Jimin softened. “Soon.”
It sounded like a promise. I wondered what he saw in me that I could not notice. I knew how observant Taehyung was but Jimin’s emotions were harder to gauge. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and kiss him, to tell him I was fine, and take claim on him. Part of me wondered if my virginity had something to do with his hesitance, or if it was all about my mood swings. Knowing Jimin it was more than likely both.
I hummed but said nothing else. I was appreciative of how careful he was trying to be. I knew it was not easy and his wolf was probably having a hard time keeping at bay. Then again, I could not be so sure. I knew the pull that wolves had for one another but would that still transfer over to us? Glancing at Jimin, I hoped that we were just as strong as a pair of wolves.
A knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. Confused, I stood and made my way to the door. The conversation behind me ceased. Checking through the window, I was pleasantly surprised to see a familiar, unexpected face. I rushed to open the door and beamed at Thelma.
When I was young I had disliked the witch. She had come around the least and always ratted us out when we got into trouble in Moland. After Aldara’s death, though, she had become something more to me. Her and Hyun-Jin were important people in my life and helped me figure out how to rebuild. She was very reclusive and had not told me that she was coming over. Whatever it was, it had to be important.
“Thelma!” Yoona’s voice gave away her excitement. “Long time no see, stranger.”
The swamp witch smiled and let herself in. She had always been extremely petite, small in stature, with skin the color of taupe that was offset by a scattering of thick, large umber freckles that dusted her face. Her hair was dense and coarse like cashmere. When I was young, it had been a rich, ebony, but with her age it had gray streaks beginning to take root. She looked every bit as lovely as she had last I had seen her.
“Nice to see everyone,” Her voice had always been husky and soft. It was a comfort to me and I was over the moon she had come. I was confused by her son’s absence but did not read too much into it. Hyun-jin was even more reclusive than his mother. “I was hoping to speak with Birdie alone for a bit. I have something for her that I think would be best to share privately.”
Yoona flipped her inky black hair over her shoulder and nodded. She and Yoongi were identical. Yoongi had never met his father so I had no point of reference for what the man looked like, but he was missing from all of Yoongi’s features. Jin’s family left without a hitch, Jin pouted like a kicked puppy for being left out, and the Min’s followed suit. Jimin seemed hesitant to leave but Taehyung called for him before I had to ask him to go myself. The alpha looked displeased but left without a fight. Wendy was the last to go and gave Thelma a hug on her way out.
Walking to the kitchen, I grabbed my kettle out of habit. Tea was an important part of any conversation, but Thelma stopped me before I filled it with water. Nodding, I could not stop myself from grabbing another bottle of smreka. Thelma sighed and shook her head but did not comment any further. My manners were getting the best of me. Grabbing two glasses, I poured us each a cup before sitting at the dining table. Thelma sat across from me and took a sip and two cookies from the tray beside her.
“Thank you,” She mumbled.
“Of course. You’re welcome anytime.”
She smiled at me sadly. Scooting the glass over, Thelma placed her hands out in front of her and linked her hands. A pit began to form in my stomach as I waited for her to say something. The expression on her face told me that whatever it was I would not be happy to hear about it.
“There’s something happening in the forest,” Thelma said, her voice very low. I leaned closer to her and listened carefully. “Moland is dark. Darker than usual. People are going missing. Hyun-Jin had a vision this morning that put him to bed for hours. He still won’t speak to me. He’s like Aldara in that way. I’m worried, Y/N.”
All of my fears were beginning to come true. Whatever was happening around us had nothing to do with the wolf pack. They were mere child’s play to the sinister forces working around us. The image of the injured wolf came back to me and I felt my breath picking up. If a wolf had not hurt Taehyung then what had?
“I haven’t seen something like this since the quietus still roamed the forest freely,” Thelma whispered. My blood ran cold. “I spoke with Ranvir, Hyung-Jin’s rat, and he said his friends have been saying the same thing. Our home is filled with pets and familiars who have been abandoned. Their owners went out and never came back.”
I closed my eyes and felt tears stinging them. My anger and frustration were palpable. All of this was happening, people were getting hurt and going missing, and yet here I was safe and sound from the outside world. I wanted so desperately to get out there and help. Yanking my leg, the silver chain dug into my skin and made me wince. I had never hated my confinement more than I did at this moment.
“You are not safe in this house. You need protection spells and you need to make sure everyone else gets them. I brought some that Aldara gave me right before she got locked away. She wanted to make sure we had them in case things changed.”
Thelma pulled out a small, leatherbound notebook. It could be no more than twenty pages long and had the same height as my palm. In the swamp witch’s small hands it looked huge. Taking it from her, I began to skim through the pages.
“Have you told them?” Thelma asked, her voice knowing.
I shook my head. “No. I don’t need them worrying about this right now. I need to figure out what the forest has been trying to tell me.”
“What has it said?” She asked.
I closed the book with a sigh and fell back into my chair. Where do I even begin? Breaking down the vision and what the spirit had said to me, my lip wobbled and I fought back my tears. I wished I was strong and brave like Aldara, but I was just me. I thought of the wolf and I cried harder. I felt pathetic.
“We’ll keep things between us. I will tell my son. I suggest you tell Sasithorn and Yoongi. Maybe even the man you’re in love with.”
I blanched. “Wh-”
“I saw you from the window before I knocked.”
I hung my head in shame and apologized. I was supposed to put my duty before everything, and yet here I was snuggling up to Jimin like my life was not falling apart. Thelma placed a hand over mine.
“Aldara had someone many years ago that you never knew about. You’re not wrong for wanting more than this life, Y/N.”
Thrown, I simply shook my head. This was all beginning to be too much. First a possible quietus invasion on the horizon, and now I get to hear about a secret lover I never knew about? Overwhelmed, I buried my head in my hands and continued to shake my head. Rocking back and forth in my seat, I counted my breaths and tried to calm myself down.
“Look at me,” Thelma said gently.
Peeking at her through my fingers, I tried catching my breath. I tried to focus on the way the orange of her top looked so lovely against her skin. Failing to concentrate on that, I went back to counting in my head.
“Hey,” Grabbing a hold of my hand, Thelma squeezed my hand and brought me back to her. “We need to stay strong right now. You’ll have time to cry later, but right now we need to get ready for the worst and hope for the best.”
Nodding, I sniffled and wiped my face. My hands shook and my body rocked but I forced myself to breathe. In and out. In and out. One, two, three, four, five; exhale. Thelma held my hand while I calmed myself.
“I’m not telling Jimin anything,” I finally managed to choke out.
Thelma nodded, “It may be for the best. He could get himself hurt trying to fight one of those things.”
I had to remind myself to exhale at the thought of that. Jimin would surely die if he went up against one of the quietus but his pride would not let him see that. I thought of Taehyung and grew even more frantic. That boy would die trying to prove himself.
“The younger one,” Thelma quickly added. “Is he their alpha?”
I nodded. “They’ve rejected him. His mate is being kept from him back at the village. They don’t trust him at all. One of the other alphas, Namjoon, challenged him to a fight but Taehyung doesn’t want to participate. He’s been training with Jimin just in case it comes down to that.”
The witch hummed in response. She was thinking. Thelma always tried to choose her words carefully, but I knew she was going to say something that upset me. There was no way to put things lightly in a situation like this.
“They’ll need him more than ever,” She started wearily. “I can only hope whatever’s coming strikes before they do. If they lost any numbers…”
She trailed off. I did not need to hear the rest to understand what she meant. If any of them fell, even someone as inexperienced as Taehyung, the pack would be hit very harshly during the fallout. Sol would be lost without her mate, and I doubt she would fight on either side. Taehyung’s family would never forgive, and I would be damned if I helped those people. Still, even with my own personal feelings I had a duty to protect this forest. Foxglove could burn but Bangtan was my home. Jimin was my mate and I would protect him as well, and I knew no matter what happened, on some level, he would be there for his people. I would have to push aside whatever anger I felt and help them. For Jimin’s sake if nothing else.
“I’ll talk with Yoongi and Shiloh,” I started, voice low. “I’ll try to trick Seokjin into training with us. Say I couldn’t figure out how the spells worked and needed him to guide me through them- something. Jin is smart but takes things at face value for the most part. Wendy and her coven are a different fish to fry, though, I’m afraid.”
“I can handle that,” Thelma assured me. “Cordelia knows how to defend herself against these things just as well as the rest of us. Yoona and the Kims may not seem like it but they’re ruthless when the going gets tough. How do you think they managed to live in Bangtan all those years they were here?”
I sighed deeply, “So it’s decided then?”
“It has to be,” She resigned. “I’m sorry.”
Taking my hand away from Thelma, I rubbed my face roughly and began the hard task of composing myself. After several minutes, I felt ready enough to stand and check my appearance in the mirror in my room. I could hear Thelma calling out to the others. She had probably used some charm on her voice to make it travel further. It did not really matter to me. Taking a deep breath, I went back into the main room and collected the spell book from the table. They were quicker than I had anticipated.
“You’re awfully quick,” Thelma grunted.
“Thank Taejin for that,” Hoji threw over her shoulder, already halfway in the house.
“Should’ve guessed,” The swamp witch rolled her eyes with a smirk.
It was strange to see them all interacting as friends. I had known they were all close friends, but I had never been able to see them outside of Aldara’s position. All of them had gone off with their own lives, had children, and were growing together. Witches had long lifespans, Thelma was the oldest, but Cordelia was only a few months behind her. I tried to imagine all of them playing together before Aldara had become a Birdie but found it difficult. None of them looked the well-over 100 they were, but their age showed in other ways. Yoona was still the youngest at heart but I was no fool. Her eyes told stories and the faint streaks of silver beginning to collect in her hairline were telling. Aldara had once told me she was the only person who ever scared her.
“What was all the melodramatics about?” Yoona drawled, arms folded and leaning against the doorway.
“I found some old spells of Aldara’s,” Thelma explained, her acting convincing. “I thought Birdie would like to have them.”
Yoona’s expression softened immediately and turned to me. I was not sure how good my poker face was but she dropped the question immediately. Hoji wrapped her arms around me and gave a quick kiss to my cheek before stealing another cookie.
“You know,” Heji joked, her booming voice misplaced in my little cottage. “I’m getting tired of calling you that. Haven’t we known one another long enough? Aldara wasn’t this bad!”
Cracking a smile, I laughed quietly. It was easy for them to say that. My aunt had always had foresight. Always knew things she should not have, was often too right for it to merely be a guess and smiled knowingly at just about everything. So, when she told me as a young girl to keep my name guarded, I never went back on it. I only told people I felt comfortable telling. Despite knowing that no one in my circle would harm me I had grown paranoid. Now I felt like it was too late to bridge the gap. Besides, what difference would it really make if they knew or not?
“I’ll tell you one day,” I settled on.
A round of groans went around the room and I laughed harder. Clutching the spell book to my chest, I tried my best to keep a clear mind. The wolves had not come back yet and Taejin had said they had gone for a stroll. Taehyung was tired of being human all the time. I rolled my eyes. Yes, that was definitely something Taehyung would say. Walking into my room, I put the spellbook into my dresser’s underwear drawer.
“What’s that?”
Jumping, I clutched my chest and blanched. Shiloh’s head was poked out of her nest. Looking around, I placed my finger over my mouth and made my way to the door. Before I could close it, I made eye contact with Yoongi and made the rash decision to gesture him over. I did not want to have this conversation twice. I didn't even want to have it once. The witch nodded and started the grueling process of sneaking away.
Tip toeing, I sat on my bed and waited. Shiloh got out of her nest and perched on the windowsill across from me. Yoongi was in the room a few minutes later and shut the door behind him. The witches were still talking loudly with one another in the next room. Someone had brought up Heji’s horrible cooking and she was not happy about it.
“What’s going on?” Yoongi demanded, sitting next to me. “I could tell something’s been bothering you all day.”
I could always count on Yoongi to cut straight to the point. It was one of his many great qualities. Right now, it does nothing but give me more anxiety. I was not sure how to talk about this or where to even begin. I knew I had to speak soon. Shiloh looked annoyed with me already and I knew she was still upset about how secretive I had been lately. Rubbing my thighs, I steeled myself and began to tell them everything from my fainting spell a few weeks ago to the conversation I just had with Thelma. I was proud of myself for not crying.
“Where’s the book?” Yoongi asked, his voice hard.
“Top drawer to the left.”
A large silence took over the room. Every fear, every nightmare, I had ever had was coming back to haunt me. I recalled a time when I was maybe 7 or 8, Auntie had told me my first story of a quietus. They were horrifying, shadow creatures that hid behind a human facade. They wanted to eat the souls of those they felt wronged them. I had trouble falling asleep that night and when I finally had, I had been so afraid when I woke up that Aldara had to sit with me for the rest of the night. It was always a comfort that we shared a bed but I had never appreciated it as much as I had that night.
“Remember this, Y/N,” She had said, cradling me close to her side. “They were people who hurt people because of their own hurting. It doesn’t make it right but they aren’t monsters. Never forget that.”
Blinking back my tears, I reached for Yoongi’s hand. It was a difficult thing to remember. I was glad that I was not having to be brave alone anymore. Yoongi squeezed my fingers and gave me a small smile.
“We’re going to be okay,” He whispered.
And I threw my arms around his neck. Oh, I hope so, I said to myself. I prey to Lilith that everything will be alright.
Staring at the paper on my desk, I struggled to find the words to say. There was so much that I needed to convey and yet nothing came to me. My diary had always been a safe haven and now it was just a reminder of my own inadequacies up until now. If I was smarter, stronger, then maybe I would not be so reliant on the people around me. Maybe I could find the courage to look Jimin in the eye and tell him what had been plaguing my thoughts. Instead, I sat in the cellar and tried to wax poetically about my own pain. What a fucking joke.
Giving up, I put my pen down and walked over to the shelves along the back wall. My curiosity about Aldara’s lover had grown in the last few days and I had tried to keep my eyes away from her inner thoughts. It felt too personal and raw to look at but I had stopped caring about that. Afterall, maybe I could find something helpful in her diaries. Auntie was always boastful about her adventures.
I heard the cellar door opening but I paid it no mind. I was not in the mood to talk or thinking about what I should or should not say. Listening to their steps, it sounded like Jimin. He would be harder to ignore if he approached me but he was more aware of my feelings than Taehyung and would likely leave me be. He just enjoyed being in my presence. We say nothing as I walk right past him and back to my desk.
Putting away my own journal, I opened up the one titled simple “One” and began to read. I had at least attempted to create original names and chapter titles for all my journals. I could only imagine Griselda telling the young adventurer to keep it classy. That made me smile.
My 10th Summer
I shook my head in disbelief. Even at such a young age she spoke in riddles. All she had to say was the date. Holding in my laughter, I continued reading the passage.
Griselda has finally allowed me my own journal. While this may seem mundane- it is simply monumentous. Finally, I can speak casually and drop all of this “manners” nonsense she continues to ramble on about. I just want to run through the wildflowers in the front but she’s more concerned about my apron getting dirty. Stupid elders and their stupid woes.
I laughed out loud then. Nice job sticking it to her, kid. I knew Aldara would never say anything like this to her mentor’s face. Griselda would have rung her up by her neck.
She always speaks of monsters. As if I’m afraid of some shadows! Well, she can sit inside and hide. Me? I’m going to go and beat one up so I can show her I can go wherever I want. That’ll show her.
Or not.
I love Griselda but she’s a bit dim witted.
-Ari
Ari? She had been called Ari? The affectionate name made my heart swell. God, she was a piece of work. I almost felt bad for Birdie Griselda but I knew she was more than capable of handling the young witch. Ari would start changing her tune all too soon. Grinning, I flipped a few pages.
My 13th Spring,
I met a girl today. Griselda was angry with me for talking to her and said that I had no idea what could happen to me if I spoke to strangers. I think she’s still feeling antsy after a girl from Syrena went missing. I had only visited the coven to help. Cordelia was nice to me and older. All we did was speak normally and I told her I would help her look. Griselda did not seem amused by my back talking today.
It was strange to talk to someone else. I knew that our families were aware of one another, and the girl had said that Birdie Heidi had been really close with her grandmother, but Auntie was not as welcoming. I told her she was just shy but really I know she’s afraid. So am I. The forest looks dark right now and I know it’s more than the fog blanketing everything.
I still haven’t told her about my trip to Moland. She would freak out if she knew I had left the forest. She just did not understand me at all. She never tried either. We had respect for one another but she was timid, meek, and frightened of everything she did not understand. I wanted adventure. I wanted to live life to the fullest before I became locked up forever. I don’t know how she can stand it.
Maybe one day I could introduce her to Thelma. Maybe then she would understand why I keep going back. Once she sees what we can do to defend ourselves. Once she sees what I can do. Until then, I will keep playing dress up and learning the same water healing spells I’ve been practicing since last year.
One day.
-Ari
It was nice to see how different she had become over the years. The woman that I had met had taken many years to come into her own. From fighting Quietus in secret with her friends to arguing with Griselda over who knew best. The twelve year old rebel was still so deeply ingrained within her that it was shocking to see just how far she had gone in order to get around Griselda’s iron-tight control. I felt for both of them but was happy that my aunt had done what she had. I doubted I would be who I was without her.
My 15th Winter,
I saw my first hybrid today. She wasn’t from Foxglove. I have done so many rounds there, fought off Qs from their doorsteps, and tracked down pups too many times to have confused her. Her ears gave her away. They were large, jet black, and fluffy with off-white tufts sticking out of the middle of them. Her eyes were strange, too. She even had a tail.
I did not approach her. Just looked. She was chasing a butterfly and picking flowers as she went. Griselda would be livid if she found out anyone like her was around. I did not really know what to make of her. I had thought the hybrids dead. Still, I just watched. Even though I wanted to talk to her, to ask her where she came from, and to see if she had seen Qs anywhere else… I hadn’t. She looked too happy for me to burst that bubble.
I’ll look for her again tomorrow. Maybe I’ll ask her then.
-Ari
Feeling drowsy, I finally shut the book. Auntie had not seen the hybrid girl again for several days and had stopped looking. She had been disappointed but knew they were probably just passing through. The forest was too dangerous for any permanent settlement.
Placing the book back on the shelf, I pulled down the next one and placed it on my desk for later. Picking up my own journal, I looked around for Jimin. He was hiding in between some shelves in the middle of the room. He smiled when he noticed me.
“Ready for bed?”
I looked down, “I hope I’ll sleep tonight. I hate sleeping in my bird form.”
He nodded in understanding. “I can’t imagine it being very comfortable.”
“It isn’t. I can’t use my blanket.”
The quilt was too heavy and uncomfortable when I was a bird. Jimin walked over to me and wrapped me in his arms.
“I’ll keep you warm.”
Yawning, I nodded in his chest. That would be nice. The two of us went up the stairs together and I turned out of lights with a flick of my wrist.
Taehyung was reading by the fireplace. He smiled at us as we walked by. I gave him a light bow and walked into my room. I heard the wolves giving one another quick goodnights and Jimin was back by my side before I made it into my room.
“Is Shiloh in?” He asked.
I shook my head. “No. She’s out with Morla and the rest of them.”
I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from explaining why. The barn owl had gone to them to warn everyone about the things happening in Moland. They needed to get out of the area as soon as possible. She was also going to fly by Thelma’s to speak with Rory. Ranvir, or Rory, was Hyun-Jin familiar. He would have a lot of information that would be helpful for us. Shiloh and I would talk about it in the morning so I could write Yoongi. We were going to be putting our Jin plan into action soon.
“I hadn’t known people in the forest were so nosey.”
I chuckled, “You’ve been scaring away the forest since you were young, alpha.”
Taking a nightgown out of my drawer, I placed it on the bed while I took off my jewelry. I had worn Aldara’s skull ring every day since my fainting spell. My own ring had not left my finger at all. It was a comfort for me to fiddle and play with it. Remembering the hours upon hours my aunt had spent making it for me with love and care meant more than one would think. Flicking my wrist, I took my clothes off and put the nightgown on. I was only waiting for the sun to fully set. I would have no need for clothes after that.
Jimin’s arms wrapped around my midsection, and I hummed in content. Leaning into his chest, I let his warmth envelop me. I was happy to stay like this all day but knew it was coming. Stepping out of his arms, I motioned for him to turn around as I walked further into my little room.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered as the sky turned purple.
As I screamed, I knew I was not only apologizing for him seeing me like this.
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