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your-brilliant-lady-m · 4 years

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South Korean music industry at a glance: an outsider perspective

I watched one particular AMV last week. The song used for the video was “I’m afraid” by Korean rock band DAY6. I was pleasantly surprised as someone who values lyrics in song first and foremost. The music itself was great. I’ll listen to their songs again. It’s a nice fit for my music taste. Naturally, YouTube’s algorithm decided that I’m a fan of everything Korean after 1 video and started spamming my recommendations with k-pop songs, documentaries and everything in-between.

I watched a couple of videos, listened to some songs and discovered fascinating patterns. So, I went down to the comment section. And it was rather interesting experience, should I say? The concept of entertainment industry in South Korea simply begged to be explored more after this. I dug deeper and visited Tumblr k-pop tags and briefly glanced upon Instagram and Twitter. And, oh...

I am a big picture person and I enjoy both studying and creating systems. This one was particularly fun to explore. I discovered a lot of new things for myself. Perhaps, you can discover something new for yourself too or take a step back and look at this from a new angle.

Disclaimer: it’s impossible not to offend someone on Tumblr, so keep that in mind. That being said, I do NOT intend to insult of offend anyone. It’s just a little research done for fun, because I love research with a purpose. This post is NOT A HATE post. No hate intended for fans, artists or other people involved. It’s meant to be a discussion, nothing more and nothing less. If it sounds like hate, it’s just my sarcastic sense of humour.

Content Warning: I mention suicide, death, depression, rape in a couple of sentences. There’s nothing major or graphic, but it’s there.

In this long post I decided to share with you my opinion, a so-called outsider perspective, on the world of music entertainment industry in South Korea and people involved in it on different levels. I use the word “outsider” mainly because, that’s exactly what I am in this case, as someone who is in no way involved in k-pop community. I can’t name you a single band or their members. I don’t know any solo artist and can’t neither sing nor name you any song.

And to be completely honest, I don’t think I will set my foot into k-pop fan-circles ever again after everything I saw.

Think of this as “In this essay I will...” meme, except there’s an actual essay.

As far as I know, in South Korea “k-pop” refers to all music produced in SK, including solo artists, various bands, singers-songwriters. It doesn’t even have to be pop music. Koreans include in this definition all genres of music. However, around the world “k-pop” means primarily music made by idol groups and bands marketed for children, teenagers and younger people. In this post I use the latter definition, because that’s how most people understand “k-pop” in other countries. Therefore, my statements, opinions and conclusions here would concern only idol music.

The music industry in South Korea is heavily influenced by culture and traditions of the country, just like all things are. And there’s nothing wrong with that. After all, different backgrounds are what makes people so interesting and unique. However, when combined with consumer mindset, desire to generate profit at any cost and fast-paced nature of modern life these neutral cultural elements could produce something concerning, and it can lead to disastrous consequences.

1. Idol

These people are called artists, musicians, singers, bands, groups, performers. In South Korea and in Japan, however, people call them Idols or Stars. I’ve also seen Muses, Princes and Queens. Interesting, isn’t it? The terminology used to describe these musicians in South Korea is one of the key elements in this whole entertainment system. You’ll see why.

But who or what is an idol exactly? Let’s take a basic definition from Wikipedia.

“In the practice of religion, a cult image or devotional image is a human-made object that is venerated or worshipped for the deity, person, spirit or daemon ... that it embodies or represents. In several traditions, including the ancient religions of Egypt, Greece and Rome, and modern Hinduism, cult images in a temple may undergo a daily routine of being washed, dressed, and having food left for them. Processions outside the temple on special feast days are often a feature. Religious images cover a wider range of all types of images made with a religious purpose, subject, or connection. In many contexts "cult image" specifically means the most important image in a temple, kept in an inner space, as opposed to what may be many other images decorating the temple.

The term idol is often synonymous with worship cult image. In cultures where idolatry is not viewed negatively, the word idol is not generally seen as pejorative, such as in Indian English.”

Cambridge Dictionary defines idol as follows:

And here’s the definition from Oxford Dictionary:

This is a centrepiece of this tapestry. Surely, you have noticed by now what these definitions have in common.

Idol = a cult image of a god, a deity

By calling these musicians “idols” industry makes society and audience treat them in certain way, namely as gods. What characteristics do gods possess? They are beautiful, talented, funny, confident and graceful, blessed by eternal youth of immortality. Gods have no flaws, they do not bleed, they are above human concerns. They are an embodiment of perfection. They are stars, you could not reach.

But real people are not like that. They can be sad and angry, insecure. People don’t have perfectly symmetrical faces. They can’t dance in sync without preparation. They can’t sing like angels at any given moment throughout the day.

What happens when idols accidentally reveal their humanity? What happens when people see, that they make mistakes and do stupid things, that they need to train hard to appear graceful on stage?

I will tell you. And it’s not pretty. But, first, let’s look at other elements of this system.

2. Y/N and Self-insert fantasy

Aside from the music, K-pop sells the self-insert fantasy to the audience. It’s carefully arranged to appear real, where the cracks are masked and every word is scripted. The reality is so vivid that one doesn’t even have to use imagination all that much, because all scenarios and decorations already exist. Countless interviews for TV and magazines, fan meetings, talk shows, reality shows made sure people are privy to all juicy details of personal lives and opinions of musicians. And also one word - merchandise. Some of that merch made me question my life choices. Some of it is, ah, creepy or has weird vibes. All of this provides plenty of material for people to work with. Fans can effortlessly imagine themselves beside their idols or even in their place.

In a highly competitive society, where people throw themselves into studying and work since young age, forming deep and lasting connections with others is very hard, sometimes impossible. As a result, people long to have a group of close friends with similar interests, a loving partner who would cherish them endlessly. People want to be rewarded for their backbreaking efforts to succeed by the carefree life of fame and music, everlasting friendships and love. And in a way you can’t really blame them for his.

Does this dream life sound familiar? We are looking at K-pop bands here. It doesn’t really matter if their members don’t always get along or that they can live in debt, that fame is fickle and adoring fans can tear your self-confidence to shreds. Audience wants the glamour of fantasy and the industry is more than happy to cater to these desires.

Perhaps, knowing that even for idols this fantasy is sometimes unattainable makes the whole set up feel just a little cruel.

3. Fans, stans and fandom culture

We’ve already established earlier that idols are gods in the eyes of people and listed traits they must possess. So, what else do gods need to exist? Worshippers. Because a cult is worth nothing without its followers. Gods need a group of people to worship them and spread their beliefs. The role of worshippers is performed by a fans in this case.

Apparently, there is a running joke that girl groups need to win a general public popularity and boy bands need a big passionate fandom. It seems to be true according to my observations.

In k-pop fandom people use the word “stan” to state that they like or support particular group. Now, I am sure everyone here knows that in other fandoms, dedicated to movies, shows, books and games there’s an important distinction between being a “fan” and a “stan”. What is it?

A fan is someone who likes a ship or character, creates and/or consumes fandom content, supports certain ideas, discusses things they enjoyed and disliked, criticises canon. Stans, however, are a different breed. They engage in all typical fandom activities, but their support and enjoyment becomes obsession. Stans believe their favourite characters and ships are immune to criticism, that they are superior no matter what others say. Stans start shipping wars, send anon hate, death threats over fictional characters and hurt real people. Stans are considered toxic fans. And majority of normal civilised people don’t like them and try their best to let stans hang out in their echo chamber by themselves.

In other fandoms and communities, to be a fan means to love, support and enjoy something, while to stan means to obsess over and hyperfixate on these same things. Words “I stan” rarely mean “I support” for most people, and if they do mean that, it’s only used in a joking manner (”We stan procrastination legend!”, “I stan our miscommunication kings”).

Everywhere else “stan” has only negative connotations, except in k-pop. But what has changed? What’s the difference? Why do international fans scoff at “shipper stans” and then turn around calling themselves “stans of X k-pop group” at the same time? Does it make you wonder?

And this is another core theme of k-pop, in my opinion. In fandom where stan = obsession = support, you can see interesting patterns.

Fandom loves their flawless gods. But watching them from afar is not enough for some people, because unlike deities in different religions, these gods live among us. People are very much aware of that. Industry has created a cult and laid the groundwork for worshippers to express their adoration in every way including personal contact. And who wouldn’t want to meet their god? Who wouldn’t want to know more about them or tell them how much you love them? In talk shows and fan meetings there is only so much one can do after all.

People desire to know more, to have more so much that their obsession transforms into concerning stalker tendencies. These crazy individuals follow idols, stalk them on social media, in hotels, research flight numbers, bribe security. Musicians were attacked and poisoned. I strongly suspect there were cases of rape that no one knows about. There is even a special term for these fans - “sasaeng”.

Is there a definition for stalkers of actors or musicians in western world? No, I’m pretty sure there isn’t. They are just called “invasive/obsessive fans” or “stalkers”.

Also, there are sasaeng memes. Yeah, you heard that right. I enjoy some classy dark humour as much as the next person, but there is a fine line between normal and questionable.

Back to the topic of stalkers. Do you realise how disturbing that is? Such behaviour is so common that there is a term for it. You create a fandom-cult, encourage people to worship k-pop idols as gods and then act surprised when members of said cult become fanatics and their adoration becomes obsession.

And it’s so easy to step on this slippery road. The system makes it ridiculously easy. Lines begin to blur. How much is too much? Where do you draw the line?

While sasaeng fans engage in extreme real-life obsession, people online aren’t that far off, to be honest. I’ve seen it all: imagines, headcanons, fanfiction, real-person shipping, reactions. Real person shipping is a controversial topic. Some people support it, others don’t. I suppose I’m among those who don’t get it. I’m not exactly against it, but I find it strange. Mainly because it’s based on assumptions made by fans about personalities and behaviour of real people.

Assumptions. Dear me! K-pop fandom has this thing with video compilations. I’ve never seen this phenomenon being so widespread in any other community or fandom. Basically people edit together a collection of short clips from talk-shows, interviews, Instagram stories, some YouTube videos, etc and then proceed to analyse every gesture, word, facial expression of idols and provide both audio and on-screen commentary. These videos and many other forms of similar analysis allow people to imagine what kind of personalities idols have, what kind of life do they live. It’s the source material for fanfiction, imagines and headcanons.

But it’s not real. It’ll never be real. It’s an illusion, an image, a stage persona. They fall in love with a face and made up personality. And I think that when people create this content they can forget this. Fans can develop certain emotional dependence and unhealthy attitudes in the long run. In some YouTube comments even supportive and encouraging words sound whiny and obsessive. And semantics of being a “stan” of certain group or individual doesn’t help.

4. Industry, companies and liars

At last we arrive at the most important aspect of music entertainment industry - its creators.

Have you seen “The Road to El Dorado”? It’s one of my all time favourites. It has iconic characters, adult jokes that I didn’t get as a child and iconic soundtrack. I’ll quote “It’s Tough To Be A God” a lot here.

In South Korea music industry is a factory, the production line to be exact. This kind of set up affects everything in the grand scheme of things. Companies and agencies play the role of training centres and record labels. And there are so many of them that a whole new scamming system developed based around fake idol agencies. It implies that there are people who fall for offers of these agencies and continue to do so. I suspect that victims must pay a fortune upfront before they realise their mistake. Are there any kind of legal protection against such scams? How can people verify the authenticity? Because a well masked scam can exist for a long time before someone discovers it and calls them out on their nonsense.

As far as I understand legal companies work like this. After high school, which is often focused on performing arts (and private schools can get away with using talents of students for personal gain, which is totally not surprising), young people can audition for an agency and become an idol in training or idol-trainee. And passing audition is hard. But good recommendations can help, connections too.

During training you don’t get paid. Only a few companies pay aspiring musicians. People can spend years in training and don’t debut. But rent, necessities, clothing and food (not that you need much of it, but more on that later) cost a lot. Where do you get the money to live then? Support from parents, one or two part time jobs at most and bank loans. Surprise! We found an unexpected (just kidding, it’s very obvious) party, who reaps benefits from the system.

You need skill to be an idol. Natural talent helps too. The more skills you have, the cheaper and faster your training is. To level up your game you attend classes every month offered by your agency, which are not cheap (dance classes range from 400$ to 1000$ per month, sometimes more). There are four main categories in evaluation process: vocals, rapping, dancing and visuals. Idols are multitaskers, to have a chance on stage one must be perfect at everything. And people are ready to invest thousands of dollars into their kids training so that they could have a chance in entertainment industry. South Korea thrives on revenue k-pop industry generates every day.

Let’s pause here for a second and think about what kind of people come to these agencies. The answer is easy. People who have a dream, a desire, a real goal. You don’t wake up one day and decide to become a k-pop idol. Sometimes people get invited by agencies (after prior acting, modelling career or any other form of exposure). These people are usually very young. Some start straight after high school, some after university, but 25 years old is considered a late start. Compare that to western musicians who start singing at any age and still become famous.

But why this age limit? Because idols are eternally young. So that in public eye musicians are remembered as 20 year old gods. People would listen to their music and imagine a young attractive face. Career in k-pop is short, it lasts 5-7 years, rarely longer than that. It’s even less than modelling or acting can offer. And professional sportsmen retire in their late 30′s. Some play longer, but usually, that’s it.

If you live in Los Angeles and say that you want to be an actor or performer, no one would bat an eye. It’s like saying that you want to be an engineer or accountant. Similarly, in South Korea becoming an k-pop musician is a real career. Because part of the self insert fantasy that the industry sells is the idea that anyone can be an idol. It’s easy after all. Anyone can pass auditions and become a trainee. A trainee with no guarantee of debut. But one should never underestimate the power of idol-dream. After all, idea is the most resilient parasite.

“My friends started training in kindergarten. They have wanted to become idols since young”

“A lot of young kids get interested in Korean music”

A 6-year old child sees the performance of k-pop group for the first time on TV. Let’s say it’s a girl. She is enraptured and decides that she will be like that too someday. She grows up, while being part of the fandom, just like all idols are in one way or another and whose fan-obsession transforms into desire to succeed. Her parents spend time and money to find her tutors, to fund dancing and singing classes. Perhaps in high school this girl decides to fix the shape of her eyes and make nose straighter. She trains hard and passes the auditions in her dream agency. And during training this girl faces the reality of behind the scenes life in music industry.

“Why are you crying? I’m not even pushing you”

“How many times have I told you? The rest are doing it perfectly”

“She is dancing like an elementary school student“

“I watched your performance as a spectator who bought a ticket to your concert. I want a refund“

“You make my ears hurt. I don’t want to listen at all”

“Listening to you was tiring”

“I’ll kick you out instead. You won’t debut”

“I thought I was going to die. That’s how determined I was”

While I do understand that keeping a high quality standards in media industry is important, there are more productive and healthy ways to motivate someone to improve and be more passionate, you know? Constantly insulting people with sadistic glee and putting them down at every opportunity or calling them ugly to their face doesn’t do much.

Do you think that children know about this? Do they know about soulless teachers and belittling managers? Do they know about friends who are really your competition, so you shouldn’t get attached? Do they know about living in debt? Do they know any of this? No, I don’t think they do.

Children dream about the stage, about the sea of lights and crowds who chant your names. They want adoring fans and photoshoots. They want to appear on TV and magazine covers. Teenagers want the thrill of performance, they want to share their music and dancing with others.

“I don’t know how many times I cried alone”

The truth is cruel. But they won’t give up easily even if it means sleeping 4-5 hours and consuming no more than 500 calories per day. Because giving up means that your whole life was a lie. One can’t afford not to be good enough. Giving up means admitting that all efforts and money your family invested into your dream were in vain. It means losing face before your family and friends - a fate worse than death. Imagine living this idol dream and building your whole future around it and then being told that you’ll never debut because of the circumstances outside of your control or something minor, like face shape or 1 kg of weight that your body refuses to lose. It can break you. Especially if you are like 18 or something.

5. “And who am I to bridle if I'm forced to be an idol If they say that I'm a God, that's what I am”

“I don’t think there’s anything a tough as being a trainee in Korea”

Once you are a trainee at the agency your personal life does not belong to you anymore. You can’t go out without permission of the agency. You phone is taken away. Your diet and weight are monitored. Bad habits are not allowed (no smoking, drinking or drugs). Oh! I think I found the good thing in the system! Unfortunately, it won’t last. Trainees can’t date or meet with family without permission of agency. Dating is very taboo. Even established idols can’t openly date.

Why is that? Because gods can’t belong to anyone. Their lives are property of the fandom. Because openly dating idols destroy the self-insert fantasy. There was a former idol girl who dated another musician. She was called a whore by her fans, her loving and adoring stans. You might know who I am talking about. Would you call an American actor or singer a prostitute for dating someone?

Trainees sign the contract. And how can a young person straight out of school or university know much about what makes a good contract in entertainment industry or what makes a good contract in general? Even if you do understand the terms fully you would still sign it because if you have come so far, you can’t let your dream slip this easily. There isn’t a choice. Not really. If you want to debut, you will agree to anything.

What about life after debut? You have to pay off your loans. And company takes 60-70% of your group’s earnings. Artists themselves get 30-40% and split it between themselves. K-pop groups have from 5 to 10 members or more than that. Each person gets less than 6%. Idols are not filthy rich. They are not. These earnings are practically nothing compared to the work you have put into this.

Idols are musicians, who often don’t even write their own songs, music or create choreography. But if public doesn’t like the song and musical number the company created, they blame idols for the failure. Such an amazing logic we see right here. But people say that sharing music is the best part of idol life. But whose music?

Models on catwalk are not there to demonstrate their physical beauty, they are blank canvas for works of clothing designers. Same with k-pop musicians. They act like puppets in a way, whose faces and voices are used to show audience someone’s music and songs. Some groups do write their own music and lyrics and it’s nice to know that. But those, who don’t are rather unfortunate. It’s a nice tool of psychological control and pressure for an agency. They can hold it over group and use the following rhetoric: “We gave you everything! Why can’t you follow the simple instructions” or “Where would you be without us? It’s not even your music!”

I called k-pop industry a factory. That’s true. Dozens of people become trainees every year. These talented young people are fully prepared to do anything to achieve their goal. They are ready to practice until they collapse, starve themselves and pour themselves into every song. Companies know that. Tell me why would they value their idols as individuals, as people, as human beings if they always have a replacement? Why bother with mental health of their artists if next year they could have a fresh set of people, who are younger and prettier? Why try to improve relationships inside groups if you could fire any member and replace them within a month or two?

In western countries famous bands have different stories. Some were friends since high school, who played in bars and during festivals and then they were noticed by some representative of label company, who offered them a contract. Some groups were formed by like-minded people who bonded and decided to share their music with the world. There are many stories, but ultimately the have one thing in common. Bands in the West often form themselves. These people had time to bond, connect, discover each other, solve some disagreements and learn to work around their differences.

K-pop groups are formed by their agencies. They are their property in a way. Company selects the best and puts together these total strangers, appoints the leader with marketable face and personality and then expects them to work together like a well-oiled machine. No one has time to bond during training, because other people are you competition, not friends. And then you must learn to work as a team and be best friends on camera for the audience to support the self-insert fantasy. It’s no wonder that k-pop groups don’t get along sometimes. And every member knows that they are replaceable. It doesn’t help in forming connections. Groups can’t just terminate contract and go to work with another agency. I heard it happens sometimes, but it’s not a done thing. Unlike in other countries where bands just sign the deal with a different label and release their music under their name if they don’t like the old conditions.

“It's tough to be a God But if you get the people's nod Count your blessings, keep them sweet, that's our advice Be a symbol of perfection Be a legend, be a cult Take their praise, take a collection As the multitudes exalt Don a supernatural habit We'd be crazy not to grab it So sign up two new Gods for paradise”

But is it really a paradise?

Idols are expected to act cute, to match personalities created for them by fans or media. They have to act according to the concept of their group. They have to be a symbol of perfection: skinny, single and with a face perfected by surgery. They are allowed to mess up, but only in a cute way. They can break down and cry, but only if it’s “aesthetic”.

Weight issues are a separate topic. Sometimes I wonder whether managers in companies understand how weight loss or human body in general works. To be honest, I think that scales in agencies are rigged. And only managers know that. I know it can be done from personal experience. Some beach resorts tweak their scales and make them show 4-6 kg less than actual weight, so people wouldn’t get upset if they gain some. There is no way a girl as tall as I am (173 cm) could weigh like 47-50 kg and be able to perform complex choreography on stage and sing without being out of breath, visit the gym on a regular basis and generally function as a normal human without fainting every other day.

“I developed a lot of eating disorders”

“I think I consumed about 300 calories today“

“Someone, please, trim the fat off her arms”

If you grow up thinking of idols as gods and then, when you become one of them you think that you must act as one too. But being an easily replaceable god is a heavy burden. The industry, companies and audience want you to be perfect, to always be on your best behaviour. And the thought of not being good enough or divine enough terrifies you, because stans have no mercy (black ocean concept is the most stupid thing ever by the way). This kind of pressure can destroy even the most resilient. And it does.

Almost everyone knows that situation with mental health in South Korea is not the best to put it lightly. In many ways it’s a cultural thing. But in k-pop mental health issues are treated with even less care. Gods are not supposed to be depressed or suicidal. They are not supposed to have fears or insecurities, can’t be upset or angry. They try hard to be this deity, this image. So, even when they realise they need professional help or even a friend to talk to, they either won’t seek said help or reach out only to be met with silence. Some agencies disapprove or forbid therapy altogether.

Sometimes fandom becomes self-aware.

“Don’t forget that idols are people too!”

“Your favourite idols are running out of breath just to keep you entertained“

“They are humans, who have feelings!”

Oh, but here’s the thing, my friend. The industry doesn’t want you to think of them as people. Companies and media repeatedly reinforce the idea that they are not people, they are your idols. And strangely enough, the audience supports this idea. People continue to call them idols, developing worshiping tendencies in the process, imitate them, scrutinise their flaws and triumphs. Because, you know, only “real and ordinary humans” can have flaws, not “idols”.

So people who say “they are human too” and people who say “wow, this concert was amazing, but vocals in the beginning were so off-key, I simply can’t” are one and the same.

This thought process would have been funny if it wasn’t so disappointing. But that’s just my observation.

And here’s another thing about sexualisation. I said before how appearances are everything, marketable face and body could drastically improve your chances to succeed. Companies know about this too and concepts and aesthetics of groups are designed accordingly. Girls are dressed in skimpy outfits, their dances are unnecessary suggestive, they wear heavy make up and try to have “mature” vibes. Boys don’t avoid such objectification either: suits, tight pants and dress shirts along with make up and hairstyle to give audience a promise of the things to come. Grown adults are not supposed to lust after 15-17 year olds. You can’t just create a sexy stage persona for teenagers. Do you remember my earlier words about creepy merch? Yeah. All of it neatly plays into the self-insert fantasy and encourages obsessive behaviour.

This happens in western countries too. In some way that’s understandable. Beautiful and sexy image with a hint of innocence attracts more people and sells, because it caters to one of the base human instincts. But some things make your skin crawl.

Sponsorships are another topic. Some k-pop bands seek out sponsors to provide financial aid and cover expenses, when earnings are not enough. Sometimes these sponsorships are fine, perfectly civil. But sometimes it’s a prostitution. Girl groups receive money and provide sexual favours to their patrons. It’s a way for the group to gain financial support and even find new opportunities in the industry. Companies can encourage such deals. Let that sink in for a moment.

6. “Any advice to those who want to become a k-pop idol?”

A lot of former idols and trainees have similar responses to this question.

“I don’t want to discourage anyone, but think twice”

“You only see the glamorous side, but don’t see all the hard work that goes into it”

“It’s not what you think”

“They think ‘Since I am good looking and can sing and dance really well, maybe I should become an idol?’, but there is much more to it“

“They think it’s something that is easy and will keep their family set for life financially”

And this implies that most people don’t know what kind of lifestyle k-pop stars truly have, despite the amount of information available online about “behind the scenes” proceedings.

7. Moving on

I am a practical person and every decision I make is subjected to scrutiny. And after seeing everything I can't help but wonder whether idols believe it's truly worth it. What keeps the industry alive is the idol-dream, the wilful ignorance of its reality and youthful idealism, the beautiful naïve belief that it'll get better, even if it never does in the end.

Sure no one would ever admit it out loud, because it's one of those things you never say on camera, no matter how sincere you have to be. It's the matter of professionalism after all, and idols have it spades. And also, because admitting this would equal admitting that you spent your best years doing something you both loved and hated, admitting that this was a mistake.

When you grow up in a society where appearances matter the most, where saving face and being polite is more important than staying true to yourself, where individuality is tolerated only to a certain point, it takes a lot of courage to admit that you need a break. I greatly respect those who decided that idol lifestyle is not for them and moved on.

8. Conclusion

To sum up, I hope you enjoyed my small research and this perspective, since you have read it all the way to the end.

You have noticed that entertainment industry is an intricate system and its every component makes sure nothing changes. Companies have power over idols and audience, fandom has power over idols and their careers, and musicians themselves have fame and their music, but not always the promised fortune or happiness.

It’s important to understand the big picture to draw your own conclusions and encourage positive and heathy attitudes in fandoms. Being open minded and allowing people to make mistakes and live their lives the way they want to is a part of being a decent person. People don’t owe anything to others. Art is about sharing your thoughts and feelings, promoting ideas and spreading beauty. It’s not always about money. And I think that this is what k-pop lacks as an industry. It turned dreams and human need for self-expression into business. Here everything is turned into a product. Everything idols touch can be sold, sometimes literally. Industry created problems, which can’t be solved anymore, because doing so would topple the system. And I find it tragic. Trapped in an endless chase after perfection creators of k-pop forgot that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.

If you take a look at comment sections and posts on different platforms, what will you see? What kind of things resonate with audience? What makes people laugh and cry? When people start to appreciate the substance?

“Everyone needs to hear this song in their darkest moments”

“Thank you for your music!”

“They always deliver! These guys can’t make a bad song!”

“It inspired me to write again!”

“Their songs brought me and my sister together once again”

“This is what happens when you let groups write their own music - they make incredible things”

“They really are legends of k-pop! I love that they are not afraid to show their inner strength”

“Stay strong! You rock!”

I believe that the answer is quite simple: when it’s real, sincere. It’s all about the message you choose to send to your audience, because only superficial things cause obsession. When you say that the sparkly façade is all that matters, then that’s the only thing people will ever care about. Your audience will never give a damn about the meaning behind dancing, music or lyrics, if you tell them that performance is more important. No one would praise WHAT k-pop idols sing, instead they would prefer wasting breath to criticize HOW they sing or look or move.

I dare the k-pop industry to prove people that it’s not just about looks or perfection, or laser shows, or being a branding machine. Prove to your fans that k-pop artists are also passionate people with big dreams and talent, who love every moment of their job, who live and inspire, who are human just like us and whose humanity is real!

Do it, you cowards!

And now, I’m finished. I can hear the raging crowd of k-pop fandom in the distance, which means it’s time to hide. See you some other time!

#k-pop #korean music #k-rock #k-pop idol #k-pop meta #k-pop discussion #k-pop fandom criticism

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

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Survey #211

"i was told when i get older all my fears would shrink, but now i'm insecure and i care what people think."

What is your favorite time of day? Morning. What is your third favorite color? Ummm maybe peach. Do you care what others think of you? In most contexts, very much so. How would you dress, if you were the opposite sex? Same style I do now, really. Though not tank tops and dance pants; I'm sure I'd mostly wear loose band or graphic tees and sweatpants. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I think I might? I believe it was a blue one where the keyboard slides out from the bottom. Small and square-ish. What do you do to maintain your eyebrows? Nothing. What was the naughtiest thing you did when you were a child? I bit my sister's back so hard that I made her bleed, lmao. Sorry Ash. What, in your opinion, is the most thirst-quenching drink? COLD WATER. Who is your favorite character from Alice in Wonderland? Cheshire cat. Name the closest body of water to where you live: Atlantic Ocean. What do you like to put on toast? Light layer of butter and then cinnamon and sugar. The true cinnamon toast. Do you like art? Of course. How about theater? I don't have too much of an opinion... other than it has potential to be incredibly cheesy. Have you ever made breakfast for someone? Yes. Do you talk to your crush? If you have one. She's way more than that, and we talk every day. If yes, what do you usually talk about? Loads of stuff. What was the last thing you bought? With my own money, I don't have a clue. Have you ever been considered popular? No. Your signature perfume? I don't have one. Favorite undersea creature? Sea turtles, seahorses, jellyfish... Describe your room with just 5 words. Small, crowded, zoo, artsy, and... idk. Favorite type of chocolate? Milk. What types of things would you plant in a garden? If I actually wanted one, lots of flowers. Maybe tomatoes because fresh tomatoes + bacon and mayonnaise sandwiches are fucking incredible. Favorite attraction at a carnival? Ferris wheel. What toys did you play with as a child? Plastic animals, Pokemon figures, and stuffed animals were common. Oh yeah, I loved Lincoln Logs too. What types of music do you listen to? Various kinds of metal and rock as well as indie. What, without fail, makes you cry? Mufasa dying lmao. What makes a movie really enjoyable for you? A cool plot. Usually fantasy elements. Favorite way to decorate a cake? *shrugs* What gift(s) did you get for your birthday last year? I don't remember. What do you daydream about the most? My future. Name a game you are really good at. Shadow of the Colossus probably, but considering how infrequently I play games now, I'm sure I'm nowhere near as good as I used to be. Whenever I get a PS4 and the remake tho, I'm getting that goddamn white Agro. I never did the timed challenges before, but I think I could do it. What kinds of snacks do you munch on? I don't really have snacks anymore; I try to keep them out of the house so I'm not tempted. If anything though, it'll probably be some kind of chip. What emotionally exhausts you? Socializing. What accessories would come with a doll version of you? A laptop, iPod, and medication lmao. Favorite thing to do when it’s night time? Sleep? I've sure grown into a fun person. How do you like to bathe/shower? With hot-ish water. The most childish part of your personality? I absolutely hate chores. Favorite type of fantasy creature? Dragons. Do your arms move when you walk? I... actually don't know and can't even visualize how I walk right now. Favorite photo search engine? Google. Are there such things as stupid questions? Depends on your age and some other factors, I guess. Do you celebrate April Fools Day? No. I hate it, honestly. Do you doggie paddle or actually swim in a pool? Both. How do you cure boredom? I'd love to fucking know. I'm always bored. Ankle socks or knee-highs? Ankle socks. Do you know how military time works? Yes, but I can't comprehend the time immediately if it's passed 12. What’s your daily routine? Wake up, check the time, use the bathroom, have breakfast, feed my cat, sit on the laptop doing nothing, maybe or maybe not have a nap at some point, shower if I need to whatever time I feel like, also brush my teeth at some random point during the day (unless I have to go somewhere; then I'll do it before I leave), eat dinner, feed the other pets, and go to bed. Did you get in trouble for cussing on accident when you were a kid? I literally yelled "HOLY SHIT, I THINK I SEE A SHARK!" when we were all in the car driving over a bridge and I swear I saw a fin in the water, lmao. Mom was. Not happy. Ever made a snow angel? Yes. Are you short or tall for your age? I'm average. At what age did you learn the Pledge of Allegiance? Idk, early elementary school. What’s the longest you’ve gone without food? When my appetite was like non-existent and I lost a shitload of weight, I think I almost went a full 24 hours. What do you think about most? What's stressing me out. Are you honestly a good person? I don't think I'm a bad one. Where would you like to be buried? I'd rather be cremated. Do you use Bing or Google? Google. Last song you listened to? "Damage" by Fit For Rivals. Last movie you watched ALL the way through? The Shining. Howwww had I not seen it sooner. Last thing you wrote down? The time I was meeting with my job coach on the calendar. What was the last movie you saw in theaters? Detective Pikachu. What is ONE thing your fridge or pantry ALWAYS needs? My day will feel so off if I don't have one Mtn. Dew Voltage. Do you believe more in luck or hard work? That's a good question. Sometimes you can work your ass off and yet reap inadequate - or any - rewards, while some people pick up a lottery ticket once in their life and are suddenly a millionaire. Life's not fair, kids. But I like to think hard work usually prevails. Do you have any metal on or in your body right now? Piercings. What is your favorite thing to eat with dip? Plain chips with sour cream dip... yum. Do you consider yourself a heartbreaker? Nope. Who was the last person to tag a picture of you? Who even knows. I don't get tagged in pictures because I'm never with people to take and tag me in any lmao. Have you ever liked someone much older than you? No. Is there someone you always, secretly hope will talk to you? It's not a secret that I want to talk to Jason ONE last time to apologize on MY end. What was your first favorite band? Backstreet Boys. Are you friends with any bands? A local band, yeah; their guitarist is an old friend. Do you stay up ridiculously late for no reason? Very very rarely now. What’s your life motto? Idk, I've never really thought about it. Last year for school, we had an assignment where we had to choose a popular song to write a story based on. What song would you’ve picked? A popular song? Oh boy, idk. I don't really know what's popular that I like... Well, guess I'll think of old songs I know were. Um... Oh well I love writing sad shit, so maybe "Runaway Love" by Ludacris ft. Mary J. Blige. I already had an RP plot that was kinda inspired by it lmao. Do you like 3OH!3? If I said I wouldn't belt "'CUZ I'M A VEGETARIAN AND I AIN'T FUCKIN' SCARED'A HIM" at a club at 2 in the morning I'd be lying. Did the vacuum scare you as a child? No. Do you have a long driveway? No. Anyone’s grave you visit, regularly? No. Who was your first kiss? First person who kissed me was Juan, first mutual kiss (which I consider my "real" first) was with Jason. What was it like? Were you disappointed? Juan's kiss I didn't want, and it made me confused at the time. I had no clue how I felt about him back then. With Jason, it was incredibly sweet. I was lucky to get like a fairy tale one and not a horribly awkward memory lmao. Do you have an older brother? If so, what’s he like? Yeah. He's super super intelligent and a deep thinker. Very mature and has a great sense of humor. Are you confident? hunty- Have you ever begged someone to stay with you? Yes. Who do you want around you when you’re afraid? More than anyone, Mom. Had separation anxiety as a kid, obviously grew out of it, but if I'm seriously scared, I want my mom's presence. Like if I'm sick (I'm petrified of vomiting alskdfjaowie) or we're having risky weather, stuff like that, I want her with me. Have you ever mistaken something’s shadow for something else? Probably at some point. Indie, rock, electronic, techno, dubstep, or ‘crunk’? The hell is "crunk" music. Rock. Do you know how to read a map? I have no clue 'cuz I've never actually used a real one. Have a friend that looks JUST like a celeb? Not off the top of my head. Are you good at basketball? I used to be, but I haven't played in forever. It was probably my favorite sport that I ever played. Or softball. Are you friends with anyone missing one of their five senses? Not that I know of. How many times have you moved in your lifetime? Three. Are you good at Pac-Man? I was never exceptional. I haven't played it in yeeeaaars. Have you ever been called 'jail bate’? No. Have you ever been seriously addicted to anything? Technology oops like I barely know how to function without it, sadly. Ever lied to get out of going somewhere with someone? Yes. Where did you meet your current or last significant other? YouTube. Do you like to eat pasta? Yes. Do you enjoy wine? Most bitter shit in the world. Noooooooot a fan. How long have you been driving? I've had my permit since senior year of high school (I think senior???), but I still don't have my license. What’s your lawyer’s name? N/A What’s the last thing you watched on Netflix? Good question. Do you play any video games? The only one I play regularly is World of Warcraft; it's the only "ongoing" game I play. Why were you last in the hospital? My sister got into a wreck. Would you ever get a face tattoo? Possibly something small and subtle, but I doubt it. Have you ever gambled? No. What has been your most epic cooking failure? I split a hot dog entirely in half in the microwave because I thought it'd take much longer to warm up than it actually did. Do you read other people’s survey answers on here? Sometimes. Do you agree with the saying ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder?’ With my experience with Sara, yes. Do you know any transgender people? I knew someone who like... swapped back and forth five thousand times. Then one of my friends had a transgender "phase," if it's appropriate to call it that. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? Don't think so. In the morning, do you eat breakfast first or brush your teeth first? Eat. Why would you eat RIGHT AFTER brushing your teeth. What sort of window coverings do you have in your living room? Blinds. Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively? No. How long has it been since your last breakup? A year and a half. What’s the name of the amusement park closest to your house? Uhhh I think Busch Gardens in Virginia? Do you like The Rolling Stones? Yeah. What was the last single item you spent over $100 on? A plane ticket. Can you read tarot cards? No. What is the last non-fiction book that you read? I have zero clue. Do you prefer lemons or limes? Lemons. Do you prefer peppermint or spearmint? I don't think I even taste the difference. Have you ever written a special note in a book? Yeah, I did in a book Jason lent me. Turns out it's a bad idea to write in pen a lil love letter on the back of the front cover to a book that was also for collection purposes lmao, but he wasn't mad. Would you rather have a house exterior made from wood, brick, or stucco? I like wood aesthetically, but I think eliminating wood housing would be a good idea, so brick. Brick also makes me feel safer. What is your favorite candy bar? Those big rectangle Reese's ones with individual blocks. I fucking love them. Have you ever thrown up in public? I know at least one occasion in I believe kindergarten where I did on the classroom floor, oof. Pepsi or Sprite? I hate Pepsi and I'm not a Sprite fan either, but if I had to, I'd drink the latter. How many video games do you own? We have an old CD case just about full of them. Have you ever stripped? No. Even if you are not Christian or never celebrated Christmas, do you think you will raise your (possible future) children to believe in Santa Clause? Why or why not? I don't want kids, but if I did, I probably would. It's just a magical, fun thing as a kid. Who has the most interesting phone cover you know or what was the most interesting one you have come across (in store or online)? Sara has a really cute chameleon one. Would you rather play a game such as World of Warcraft, League of Legends, or an app/Facebook game (Candy Crush, Bejeweled)? Y'all know. What’s the most amount of messages you either woke up to on a social media site or your phone? Idk, not a lot. When you have nightmares, do they normally have the same theme (ex. always being killed) or do they just relate to something going on in your life at the moment/random? They're very commonly either with me dying or about to be raped. Some surveys ask if you ever stepped in dog poop. However, have you ever stepped in animal pee? Yup. When’s the last time you or someone else has overstayed their visit? Whenever Girt last came over forever ago. He always does lmao. Have you ever consumed a full bottle of liquid medicine in one shot? Is there ANY medication you can actually do that with and not die???? Have you ever had a hamster? Yes. If you had a choice, would you rather eat chicken or beef? Chicken. What was your favorite birthday cake like? I don't remember any specifically. Would you prefer bacon or sausage? Tough call, but probably bacon. How many books have you read in the past YEAR? Zero. Do you type with all of your fingers, like you are taught in school? Yes. Have you ever put gum on the bottom of your desk/chair? No, grosses me the hell out. At what age were you the most physically attractive? The least? During high school; 2016. If you intend to get married, what are you looking forward to/dreading about wedding planning? I think planning the vows will be fun (I don't want references to God, fuck saying my dad has to "give me away," etc.) as well as the theme, and then I don't think I'm dreading anything about planning. Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? Mom. What is the craziest thing you have done to lose weight? I haven't done anything "crazy." Which parent do you most resemble? Idk. What is the best job you’ve ever had? Never had one I liked. How do you feel about monogamy as a whole? It's definitely what I find to be the better option. You're minimizing the risk of spreading STDs, and plus I personally see love as a one-on-one thing, not open to multiple. What is the most exciting thing about your life right now? LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? Probably some life lessons from my favorite teacher. Have you ever lived alone? Do you prefer living by yourself or with someone else? No. I never want to live alone. Do you and your friends ever talk about your sex lives? I don't have a friend to discuss that with, but I also don't have a sex life. Has anyone ever criticized your appearance? What did they say and how did you take it? Yeah. It was typically about my piercings or how I dressed (particularly ripped skinny jeans), and neither of those ever got to me. I love my piercings and style. How common is it for you to get jealous in romantic or platonic relationships? It's rare. When someone asks you about your number of sexual partners, do you include oral sex partners? I probably would if there was anyone who fit that criteria but I wasn't "fully" sexual with. It's still sexual. Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there? No. What is the most serious injury you’ve ever sustained? When I passed out onto my chin and ended up with a really deep cut, broke multiple teeth, and got a concussion. What were the best and worst interviews you’ve ever had? What made them so good/bad? None stand out for either end of the spectrum. List three people you’ve had crushes on. Just to make it interesting, I'll name people I had crushes on but never dated. Sebastian, Kyle, and Mini. How old were you when you were first head over heels in love? 16. Has loving someone ever made you miserable? Boy, have you heard about my Historical Breakup? How bad are your worst cramps on a scale of 1-10? They used to be easy 10s, but now that BC helps me, I'd say the worst are like... rarely 7-8s. Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No. What is the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced? I 110% should've been under anesthesia when I got an infected cyst drained. I wanted to fucking die to get it over with. Do you have an embarrassing period story? If so, what is it? No. Did your school allow you to have pain medicine on you? I think so? I do know you couldn't share it, though. Do you ever comfort eat? I get the urge to when I'm depressed, but I stopped doing it. If applicable, what form of birth control do you use? Pills and not being with a man. What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Yes. What gender do you identify as? Female. What gender were you born as? Female. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication? No. Can you still wear clothes from the children’s section? Pf, hell no. Are you lonely? Very. Do you have allergies? Yes. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty? However old I was in 5th grade when we had family life class. Do you take vitamins? Only one I'm prescribed for for vitamin D. Do you like fantasy better than reality? Yep. Have you ever contemplated suicide? Yeah. Have you ever self-harmed? Yes. How many people have you known who were suicidal? Multiple, sadly. What’s your favorite pain reliever? Advil. Who has the cutest baby/babies you know? My acquaintance has an absolutely beautiful daughter. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? N/A If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you chose? I have no clue. I don't really know pricey brands that don't have the ugliest shit. How many pairs of flip flops do you own? One. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? One, yes. She's a family friend now. What color was the dress you wore to your senior prom? Black. Ever go to another school’s prom? No. Ever take Melatonin supplements to help you go to sleep? When I used to have AWFUL insomnia, it was the only way I could sleep. Do you like burning candles or incense? Incense especially. Ever throw a pair of your shoes in the washing machine? How did they come out? Not that I remember. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do in there? No. Do you like to wear shorts or capris in the summer? No. I hate my legs, nor do I regularly shave. Does your phone have a keyboard, touch screen, or neither? Touch screen. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? Emo. Were you obsessed with the Spice Girls back in the day? Obsessed, no, but I liked them. Have you ever had an encounter with the paranormal? Yes. Would you do your own surgery so keep yourself alive? (ex. stitches) I mean yeah, if I had no choice. Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Write. Have you ever had any really infected injuries? An ear piercing got an infection once. Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No. Would you ever work for Google? I mean, I don't see why not? Do people that are ungrateful for everything bother you? Immensely. Are you popular on any websites? No, not really. If you ruled the world, what is the first law that you would make? Probablyyyy the banning of at least single-use plastics, but hopefully plastics as a whole if doable. When was the last time you played jump rope? Not since being a kid, probably. Do you hate it when people look over your shoulder? I can't do ANYTHING if someone is. Do you know anyone who has had a heart attack under 30 years of age? No. If you were starving would you eat food out of a garbage can? If I found something that didn't look dangerous, yeah, in order to survive. When is the last time you had your vision checked? Like two months ago. When is the last time you had your hearing checked? Some time last year when I had that whole ordeal with my ears. Do you know your blood type? It's A-. Do you donate blood/platelets/plasma/etc.? No, I don't drink enough water. Ever been in the emergency room? Way more times than I like. Have you ever been robbed? No, thankfully. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Do you own any Burt’s Bees products? No. Dr. Pepper or Root Beer? Dr. Pepper. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? I have one of Mom I took for a photography course of her laughing, and I fucking love it. She rarely laughs. Dad, I'm not sure. Are you subscribed to anything (Magazines, monthly boxes, streaming sites, etc.)? No. Favorite flavor of cream cheese? ... It has flavors? Do you have any board games? If so, where do you keep them? Yeah; they're at the top of a cabinet in the living room. Is there an ice cream flavor you don’t like? Of ones I've tried (I'm not very adventurous with food), I loathe strawberry. What’s the raunchiest thing you’ve ever stumbled upon? I don't know, don't wanna know. I steer clear of that side of the Internet. Hm, it was probably something on dA that had a mature content filter that I looked at anyway because it had an intriguing name. That site can have some wild-ass shit. How rude is it to snap your fingers at a waiter or waitress? Have you done it before? That is incredibly rude. They're not dogs. I've never done that. Best way for someone to bond with you? Let's talk about deep shit and philosophy. Discuss interesting, unorthodox topics. Show me you have an open mind. What is the first meme you remember seeing? BOY, I don't know. Maybe Overly-Attached Girlfriend? Suitcase, duffel bag, or backpack? Duffel bag. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite font? Out of the default options, Garamond. Favorite fairy tale? Fucking FIGHT ME if you say Shrek isn't one. Forget the memes and such, I genuinely love the movies. Favorite tradition? By this point in my life, we don't really follow any traditions... but I do know as a kid I would NEVER let Mom forget we had to make "reindeer food." When a Christmas light show was still here, we would also go there and grab hot chocolate and chocolate-covered peanuts. I miss that. Talent you’re proud of having? I think I'm an above-average writer. Favorite website from your childhood? Webkinz. :') Any good luck charms? Nope. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? Cranberry. Least favorite pattern? Uhhh... I'm not big on animal print. Favorite potato food? Fries my man. Do you call them fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies. Lamps, overhead lights, fairy lights, or sunlight? FAIRY LIGHTS. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Two lmao. Favorite historical era? The Renaissance. What are some must-have Google Chrome extensions? If you don’t use Chrome, how about on other internet browsers? AdBlock. What piece of stand up comedy (10 minutes or less) has successfully made you cry with laughter? Oh boy, a lot. I love stand-up. What little “Easter Eggs” on websites do you love? If you don’t have one on a website, how about in a game, TV show, or movie? Boy, got plenty in games. The secret Silent Hill 4 replica room in Silent Hill: Downpour I especially love; I had no idea it was in the game 'til I played it and found it myself. Then the butterfly barrel in the PS4 remake of Shadow of the Colossus in reference to The Last Guardian is awesome. World of Warcraft's Robin Williams genie tribute is lovely as well. Besides pornography, what is a website you frequent and don’t want anyone to know? Nothing. What GIF reduces you to hysterical laughter every time? Don't know about every time. What things that are legal do you think shouldn’t be? Smoking, but I understand why we can't do that now. What is the closest you have ever been to a major historical event? Idk. What is a skill someone can learn in 6 months that will impress employers on a resume? Microsoft Office programs. What are some meals that are simple to make, but easy to impress people with? Idk. I know nothing of cooking. What bizarre celebrity encounters have you had? None. What is your favorite picture on the whole internet? Oh don't make me go through my Pinterest of Mark pictures. What is a “dirty little (or big) secret” about an industry that you have worked in, that people outside the industry really should know? N/A What is the most outlandish (hilarious, surprising) thing you have ever seen go down in public? OKAY SO one day otw home from my psychiatrist appointment, there was a man dressed in horrid drag walking on the side of the highway in the middle of winter. It was. An experience. If you met someone who has never heard music before (born deaf or what have you), what music would you introduce to them first? Gentle, soothing instrumental things. Like let's listen to the soft SotC pieces, please. What’s a little-known site you think everyone should know about? I don't really know of any. What is a MUST SEE movie that is highly overlooked and is on Netflix? If you don’t have a Netflix, just say in general. Johnny Got His Gun. What quote gives you chills every time you hear or read it? From Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs: "I have stood knee-deep in mud and bone and filled my lungs with mustard gas. I have seen two brothers fall. I have lain with holy wars and copulated with the autumnal fallout. I have dug trenches for the refugees; I have murdered dissidents where the ground never thaws and starved the masses into faith. A child's shadow burnt into the brickwork. A house of skulls in the jungle. The innocent, the innocent, Mandus, trod and bled and gassed and starved and beaten and murdered and enslaved. This is your coming century! They will eat them, Mandus, they will make pigs of you all and they will bury their snouts into your ribs and they will eat your hearts!" Not even mildly exaggerating, I get coooovered in goosebumps every time I come to that point in the game. I just read it twice lmao. When was the last time you bitched someone out? A while back I lost it on Mom about Dad and his wife. Have you ever given a lap dance? No. Are you afraid of plane rides? No, not really. Do you like unique or common names? Unique. Have you ever made a turkey dinner all by yourself? As if. Do you prefer running or yoga? Yoga. What continent would you most like to visit? Africa. Who do you wish you were dating? I'm happy with who I'm dating. What did you always want to do as a kid but were never allowed to do? Hm. I'm sure there's something... What is your favorite ice cream topping? Hot fudge. Is your Bible falling apart? I don't have one. Would you rather have a tail, fin, or wings? Wings. If you live in an apartment, is your landlord mean? N/A What products do you sell, if applicable? None. Is abuse in your past? No. Is there trauma in your past? Yes. Do you know anyone who’s been raped? I don't believe so, thankfully. Of the many different American accents, which one is your favorite? New Yorker. What was the last thing you watched on Youtube? Watched and not just listened to, it was an 8-BitRyan gaming vid. Do you know anyone who had a kid before they were financially stable? Probably half the people I know or more. But I think that goes for everyone. What’s your phone’s wallpaper picture? Darkiplier rip. Have you read any of Shakespeare’s works other than Romeo and Juliet? Yeah - Beowulf and Macbeth. Maybe Hamlet? Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? My purse. Why did you move to where you’re living now? We got evicted and had to find something cheaper. What’s your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I sincerely don't care, especially if there is damage on the person's state. Like if you're suicidally depressed or very sick in another way and have to go out, don't be a fucking ass and force them to do something that can legitimately be hard for people just to appease the standards society set. A basic rule to me is never make assumptions or ask why they're in their pj's. I do it a lot, depending on where I'm going. Like you have clothes on at least, why the hell does it matter. What’s something you’re really bad at compared to others? Math. Knowing the names of cars. Giving directions and knowing where I even am in comparison to everything else. Do you know anyone who treats retail/restaurant employees poorly? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOY DO I but she's been removed from my life. When was the last time someone betrayed your trust? What happened? Idk. But I can say with near certainty aforementioned friend posted our entire last convo on Facebook as she'd done previously, so there's that. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom usually does. What are some odd habits you have relating to food/eating? I hate eating biscuits in front of new people because I dissect mine to parts, lol. Like I open it and eat what's in it individually, the bread being the last. Do you like Oregon Trail? I love that shit. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? A house. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? Stem. Do you believe in the “innocent until proven guilty” idea? Depends. Not always. Do bats frighten you? No, I love bats!!! What’s a song that reminds you of your special someone? THERE'S SO MANY!!!! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah. Are you a KPOP fan? No. Do you believe in the phrase “if it’s meant to be, it’ll be”? Nope, bullshit. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? June 2018. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I have to actually be romantically interested in you. Well, to kiss you on the lips. Kissing family on the cheek and such is different. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. Will you keep your last name when you get married? No, please take that shit away. Where was the last place you held hands at? I'm not sure. If you could live in any home on television what would it be? BITCH take me to the Addams' Family home. Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? Mostly universal. Like just to give an example, some Christian religions forbid eating shellfish, so while avoiding shellfish is moral to you, is it really immoral to eat it? Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No. It's just... so inhuman. Regardless of what one has done, never lose your grip on being one. Be a moral human being. Don't succumb to that evil. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teaching. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? No, thank Christ. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. What’s your favorite horror movie? I really love both The Blair Witch Project films, The Shining definitely joined the top tier when I watched it recently, and The Crazies is great, too. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd say it's normal. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? Oh boy, who knows. One of the billion things Colleen said and did. Something you feared as a kid but don’t fear anymore? Taking the last answer because it's like the #1 thing: death. It's inevitable, and immortality seems horrible. I just hope I go with the least pain possible. What is your opinion on girls who become obsessed with their boyfriends? lmaooooo been there sweetie, don't do it. Are you biracial? No. What’s the most unique pet you’ve owned? My champagne ball python. Do you have a fence? On either side and at the back of the house. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Just my psychiatrist. I feel bad for not including Dad, but nightmares fucked me up hard. Does your family use coasters? Is anyone in your family excessively tidy? No. Do you still have your tonsils? Yep. Do you think making out is slutty? ... No...? Well, at least if you're in a relationship and love the person. Just casually doing it, quite honestly yes, I think it's slutty.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

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jailbirdsonic · 7 years

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Sides vs Egos

Hi! So, I decided to write this fanfiction because I would love to see an interaction between this characters. I tag @markired, a fellow Markiplier and Thomas Sanders lover and @ask-sadisticdark, since he’s one of the most interesting Dark blogs here on Tumblr. I also tag @liberalautisticnerd831 and @wolfinogotbored because they asked so nicely. ❤ I also tag @reverseblackholeofwords because their one-shot about the Sides meeting the Egos really inspired me! ❤ Without further ado, let’s see how far down this rabbit hole goes…

It was the weekend of VidCon and Markiplier’s Egos, after the MarkiplierTV premiere, wanted another spotlight to show themselves to the fans. Sadly though, Mark, tired and stressed from his new Tour “You’re Welcome”, was running out of ideas on how to make that happened and the Egos, especially Dark, were becoming impatient each and every day.

Wilford invited them all to a new meeting to brainstorm a few ideas for him, but after a few hours of discussions and insults at each other, they decided to take a break and relax a bit. While the Egos were chatting with each other, a sound of steps and a joyful tune could be heard coming towards the room, as all the men turned around, confused as hell.

A regal figure, followed by other three people with the same face as the first one but with different outifits, walked through the glass door, singing a tune that went more or less like this:

♪ “We Are The Sanders Sides! We’ll always save the day! And if you think we can’t We’ll always find a way! That’s why the people on the Internet believe in…” ♪ “Roman!”, sang the first singing figure, now standing proudly with his arms open towards the Egos. “Virgil…”, mumbled the second figure who followed him, his arms crossed against his chest, glaring at the royal with a killing stare under the hood of his black sweatshirt. “And Logan,”, said the third, slower than the darker one and definitely out of tune. “AND PATTON!”, shouted the last one with a big smile on his face, taking a little jump on the spot.

The Egos were watching them like they were aliens from another world, except for The Host, who spoke up and explained who they were to his colleagues: “They are the Sanders Sides, the four different aspects of Thomas Sanders’, the famous Viner and now Youtuber, personality. Prince Roman represents Thomas’ creativity, hopes and dreams; Anxiety, or Virgil, represents Thomas’ anxiety, shame and fear; Logic, or Logan, is Thomas’ logical side; Morality, or Dad, or Patton, is his moral side and his sense of right and wrong.” The last one waved a hand at the crowded room, greeting everyone with a genuine smile to whom only Bim Trimmer greeted back.

“The Host is very pleased to finally meet them as fellow Internet personalities but at the same time he is wondering: what are they doing here?” Logan, adjusting his glasses and fixing his blue tie, responded: “We are here because apparently your meatsuit, Mark, asked Thomas to do a video with him because he was running out of ideas for a video. And which context is better than VidCon, where so many Youtube creators meet and shares ideas? Strangely, though, he didn’t said that we would have to work with…”, he gestured the room, “you.” While The Host was still narrating, Dark started walking from the blind Ego towards the Sides, politely smiling and offering them to sit to continue the interrupted meeting.

Anxiety flinched a bit when the darker persona came close to them so when all of the Sides and the Egos sat down to continue, he sat far away from him, as if he was scared by his powerful aura.

The first part of the meeting went as if the Sanders Sides never came: there was shouting around and arguing on which option was the best to take control over Mark’s channel, leaving a confused and heart-broken Patton who, at some point in the conversation, asked: “What do you mean that you want to take control over your Host? No pun intended, sorry.”, added the Dad character, embarrassingly smiling towards the Ego, who nodded back, “We take decisions together and even if sometimes we argue, we always find a solution with the help of our little guy.” Nobody paid attention to him except for Wilford, who eyed him since he first entered that meeting room. When the situation became too complicated to solve and the room too loud to think and talk decently in to, both parts of the Youtubers’ personas decided to take another break and quiet their nerves.

Logan stood up from his chair, approaching the four Googles who were chatting with each other, properly presenting to them. As soon as the original Googleplier greeted him back, explaining that he and his three brothers were a real life version of the famous search engine, Thomas’ logical side went, quite literally, crazy, asking questions on questions on how such a big company as Google was able to transfer so many data into a human body, to which the Googles responded with pleasure, grateful to know that there was another smart being in the same room as them. Dr. Iplier, who was harassing Ed Edgar at the buffet table with his new medical discoveries, a bit envious to see that the smart ones were having fun, walked towards them, presenting himself with his famous line: “I’m Dr. Iplier. I’m sorry, you’re dying.” which was accepted with a confused expression by both Logan and Oliver, the yellow Google, and a emotionless expression by the other three. The doctor shook his head out of embarrassment, rephrasing his greeting into a more polite and less scary one, and started to talk with the other five about new scientific discoveries, geeking the heck out. While Logan was having fun with his new nerdy and emotionless friends, Virgil, too overwhelmed by the previous shouting from the meeting, was trying to regain his composture and the little sanity he had by standying in the less visible corner of the meeting room, hoping that no one would noticed and started talking to him. At the exact moment he was thinking to take his phone out and listen to some of his music to relax, Dark was immediately next to him, causing the Side to nearly have a stroke, flinching more into the wall. “N-Nice eyeliner, e-eh.”, spilled Virgil, the first thing that came into his mind. The Ego smiled politely, bowing towards Anxiety and saying: “Thank you, lovely. Your eyeshadow is not bad as well. Now now, where are my manners? It’s a pleasure to meet you, Virgil. I would have never expected Thomas Sanders to have a dark figment inside of him, considering his joyous personality, but here you are. I understood that you represent Thomas’ worries, am I correct? In that case, I can show a few tricks to make things easier to better control your vessel’s mind and make you feel heard and listened to, not only from Thomas himself but even by his lovely audience. What do you say?” The warm and charming voice of the darker character, along with the piercing sound who accompanied it, sent a shiver down Anxiety’s back, confusing his already tormented mind and making him want to throw up at the point that he could feel Thomas nearly having a panick attack. Sensing the discomfort coming from the younger trait, a feeling he knew very well, the Host quickly joined them, interrupting Dark’s speech and quietly saying to Virgil, trying to calm him down: “The Host is pleasured to meet Anxiety too and, as a lover of classical culture, he can’t help but notice that your name, and the other Sides’ name as well, perfectly represents the trait you are. Like Logan and Patton, which represents Aristotle’s rethorical appeals of Logos and Pathos and Thomas’ logical and moral side. Or Roman, whose name is based off Romanticism and its protagonists, who are often knights, and he represents Thomas’ fanciful and individual side. Even you, Virgil. Your name come off "Vigil” and you represent Thomas’ vigilancy and worries. Did you know that there is a Roman poet named Virgil, who pops up in Dante’s Inferno and escorts him through the underworld?“ Anxiety, releaved that the Host tried in some way to keep him away from having an attack, nodded and thanked him silently, watching him narrating about his library and his works, while Dark was trying to maintain his façade with a fake smile, irritated that the blind Ego interrupted his chance to take Anxiety to the Dark Side. As well as Virgil, Roman too felt uncomfortable in that room full of, for the most part, criminals. As he was eyeing his "friend” (Was he more than that? The fanciful Side wasn’t so sure about his feelings for him.) standing in the corner bewteen the Host and Dark a rush of feelings, which he failed to catalogue, hit him right in the guts as someone silently approached him. “You like him, uh?”, said the Ego abruptly, making Roman turn towards him, blushing like a red tomato. “What?! No, for the love of the Fairy Godmother, absolutely not! Why would I-”, spilled Princey, nearly screaming in frustration and risking Virgil to hear him. “You know, I’m not blind. I saw how you kept staring at him during the meeting. And I can recognize when someone has a crush like yours. I also had one like this in a episode of my show, but it didn’t end up so well as the other guy dumped me at the first chance…”, the other man whispered the last part, as if it was difficult to him to remember such a sensible topic: “I’m Bim Trimmer, by the way. I’m the host of Hire My Ass.”, he said with a big smile on his face and what it seems an Ego (again, no pun intended) as big as Roman’s one. “Nice to meet you, Bim.”, the fanciful side shook his hand with the other one’s, leaning close to whisper into his ear: “Please, don’t tell anyone about this…”, he sighed, “thing. I’m not sure about my feelings for him yet, unlike Patton and Logan who aknowledge them and now they’re in a happy and balanced relationship. Me and Hot Topic over there though, we keep fighting and getting back with each other so much I’m not so sure what we are, but even so, keep it for yourself.” Bim nodded solemnly, giving the Side a quick wink as an agreement; Silver Sheperd, interested that there was another Superhero other than him, joined them, explaining his story of how he wasn’t feeling the motivation to fight crimes anymore and reciving some good and motivational advices from Roman, and sharing stories about saving Princesses and common citizens from the horrible injustices that tormented their land. Patton, on the other hand, was having a great time. He endend up talking with a new Ego, who popped up randomly after everyone started chatting with each other, called King of The Squirrels whose chin and facial features were covered in peanut butter and who claimed that the squirrels of that part of the city obeyed only to him; he tried to have a chat with Ed Edgar too but when Morality understood that the Ego’s job was selling kids, he slowly retreated, too afraid and a bit angry that that man could so easily escape from the authorities and make those horrible actions to children. The weirdest thing Patton noticed, though, was that the Ego with the pink hair and moustache was staring at him wherever he went. That look was sure intimidating but at the same it fascinated him to the point that he found himself next to the Ego, who smiled at him and indicated him the chair in front of himself. The Side sat, hiding the uncomfortableness with a big smile, and noticed only after that there were a microphone and two cameras behind him and behind the other man. “Good evening ladies and gentlemen and other configurations of being! I’m Wilford Warfstache and tonight I’m here with mister Morality, known as Patton, who’s one of the four Sanders Sides of the famouse Youtuber and Viner Thomas Sanders! It’s a pleasure to meet you! Say, what’s yout job inside of your vessels’s mind?”, said the Ego, his pink moustache wriggiling as he spoke. “Hello everyone!”, answered Patton, waving happily towards the camera: “Uhm, I usually provide to Thomas and to the others Sides moral support when they need it and I help Thomas figuring out what’s the difference between right and wrong.” Wilford nodded, pretty interested in Patton’s answer: “Oh, good to hear, good to hear. And say, what are your hobbies or the things you like to do in your free time?” Morality didn’t hesitate and answered: “Well, I like eating mostly pizza, drawing and… oh, making puns! You know, I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.” The pink moustached Ego chuckled softly, nodding and adding: “Do you know why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.” Patton, catching his breath after laughing, claimed: “ Say, Wilford, do you know what is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na.” The poor Warfstache couldn’t keep the laugh for himself and clapped his hands on his thighs, laughing like a child and managing to say between the giggles: “Hey, Mr. Patton! Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? No? Never mind… it’s tearable.” The two of them kept telling each other horrible puns like this and laughing like children until Dark asked to all of them to gather again to finish the meeting.

Each Side sat down next to their new friends: Logan with the Googles and Dr. Iplier, Anxiety next to the Host and Dark, who was at the side of the table opposite to Wilford, who had Patton next to him and Roman between Bim Trimmer and Silver Sheperd. During the final part of the meeting, after setting the rule of not to talk over each other, everyone individually had the chance to talk about their plans to improve their meatsuit’s channels. Many different ideas were brought to the table, altough Dark seem to have a hard time dealing with Morality and Wilford’s constant Dad puns, one worse than the other before, his shell dangerously near to crack. After a very bad joke from Patton, that went more or less like this: “I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.”, Dark completely lost it. His shell was cracking and screaming like never before, the piercing noise louder than ever, as most of the Egos in the room lowered their eyes, terrified. “Try to make such a joke again, Mr. Patton, and I swear I’ll take you to a visit to the Persuasion Room.” Silence fell. No one dare to talk as Patton’s eyes immediately filled up with tears. Suddendly, Roman stood up and, out of nowhere, pulled his beloved samurai sword out of the sheath, eyeing Logan who headed dangerously close to the darker persona, surrounding him with fierce eyes, furious that he made Patton cry, as Dark watched them irritated, while Anxiety was trying with Bim and Dr. Iplier to make Morality stop crying.

The braver Side poked at Dark’s neck with the sword as Logan leaned eye to eye with him, murmuring through his teeth: “Do not treathen my boyfriend like that anymore or, I swear to all the puzzles I’ve made in my life, I will not hesitate to defeat you.” Dark, as well as most of the other Egos, a bit shocked by the information that Logan and Patton were in a relationship, smiled politely raising his hands in yield: “I am sorry if I offended your fiancée, I promise you that it will not happen again.”

The two Sides death-glared him for a moment, then headed back to where Patton was sat, Logan lowering to his level and taking Morality’s hand between his. “Patton, like we’ve learned: breath in for four seconds; hold your breath for seven seconds; breath out for eight second. Keep it up, Patton.” The Moral Side did as his boyfriend told and after a few breaths, he did feel better. All of the other three sat next to him, to confort him and silently tell him that they were not going anywehere without him. Patton appreciated the gesture, squeezing Logan’s hand.

Everyone agreed that a collab between the Egos and the Sanders Sides was definitely postponed to another time because they realized that there were too many differences between them, but one thing was sure: both of the parts learned a lot of new things about their vessels’ mind.

BONUS:

While the Sanders Sides were saying their goodbyes to their friends, a glitch could be felt through the entire building by all presents. Dark, Wilford and the Four Googles turned around, visibly concerned, as the glitch grew stronger and came closer to the meeting room. Through the glass door that headed into the room, five figures could be seen: a man in a suit with a cat mask on his face, a boy with a backwards baseball hat, a Doctor, another Superhero and the leader of the group, a demon with black eyes, green hair, gauges, fangs, a dirty knife covered in blood in his hand and his neck stitched and covered in blood as well. The first one opened the door with an evil smirk and said, while happily glitching:

“D͙͚̫͈̦̘i̪̱̲͚͚̠d͈̩͎̘̣ ̙̖̭̰̲̖̬͘w̜̙e͚̦̫̭̫̬ ̷̟̝̟̼m̭̬̤̟̭͡ͅị̪̪̮͇͖̩s̮͎͕͟s̥̟̱͚͚̗͞ ̛͔̪͖s͙̯̣͇̼̖̯o͉̖̱̯̲̖̣m̝̰̤̘̼e̖͈̱̜t̙͎̺͙̻̮͠h͚͙̜̝i̹̻̙ṉg̶̹̗̻?̼̝̝͔ ҉͕͙͔̲͕”

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rapmonphile · 7 years

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getting to know me

i was tagged by the incredible and sweet @chim-jiminie-cricket to do this question game! tysm chim, ily!!

your last . . .

1. drink: a s’mores frappuccino from starbucks

2. phone call: i literally never talk on the phone but it was probably with my mom (tbh ......i was probably at the grocery store and called her in a panic bc i couldn’t find smth)

3. text message: i sent my sister a screenshot of that post that’s like “i wanna run away but like in a ghibli movie .....” bc we spent all day yesterday watching ghibli films

4. song you listened to: polarize by twenty one pilots

5. time you cried: um this is embarrassing™ but it was a few days ago bc i’d been having a Bad Week and the last straw was when i went to dairy queen and when they turned over my blizzard n handed it to me (why tf do they do that) it made a goddamn mess and got all over my shirt and seatbelt and i was so mad i started crying jhhgsdghhg

have you ever . . .

6. dated someone twice: no but i did almost date the same guy like 4 times in high school (it was so needlessly complicated.... i sometimes wonder what would have happened if we’d ever gotten it together and started dating)

7. kissed someone and regretted it: u m i have actually never kissed anyone tbh

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: uh yeah i think i might be depressed? but it also might just be my anxiety but idk who knows man

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no, i don’t drink and i’m legit terrified of throwing up

list 3 favorite colors

12-14. mint green, oxblood, and hunter green

in the last year, have you . . .

15. made new friends: yes!! so many, esp on here

16. fallen out of love: nope

17. laughed until you cried: yes :’)

18. found out someone was talking about you: hmm no i don’t think so?

19. met someone who changed you: lmao i literally hate this question.......,, i mean yeah i guess? i mean nothing dramatic but i think everyone you meet changes you a little

20. found out who your friends are: ohhhh yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no, ew

random questions

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them, the ones i don’t know are friends of friends or we went to the same high school (i never use fb though so it rly doesn’t matter to me)

23. do you have any pets: yeessss i have a pit bull and she’s the single love of my life

24. do you want to change your name: no i don’t think so, mags is just a nickname but my real name is p unique and even tho i wish people could spell/pronounce it on the first try, at least idk anyone else with my name

25. what did you do for your last birthday: one of my best friends has a bday like 5 days before mine, so we just combined our birthday celebrations and us and a couple more friends went to steak n shake and saw beauty and the beast together

26. what time did you wake up: 9:20 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching the gong show, lmao

28. name something you can’t wait for: i’m going to a music festival in september and i’m soooOOo excited!! also i can’t wait to go to the beach with my family

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: i am looking at her rn

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i wasn’t so afraid to do new things and i wish i didn’t have so much anxiety about things that literally everyone has to go through (i.e. change)

31. what are you listening to right now: my mom running around putting things into boxes (we’re moving soon)

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: u mean 707′s neighborhood friend tom? ... yes i actually have met someone named tom

33. something that is getting on your nerves: it’s too hot in this room and i am dying

34. most visited website: tumblr or youtube

35-37. ok so i’ve answered these same questions like probably 10 times over the years and these 3 q’s have literally always been missing. whats the deal

38. hair color: rn it’s brown with blonde highlights

39. long or short hair: it’s getting longer

40. do you have a crush on someone: no

41. what do you like about yourself: hfgdhs idk ,,, i think i’m a fun person and i won’t judge people for liking “weird” things bc i have a lot of ... eclectic interests and i hate how it feels to be teased for that

42. piercings: i just have one in each ear.... i want a cartilage piercing but i’m scared of pain and also it bugs me that you can’t remove it for like 6 months

43. blood type: that’s a good question, i should know that but i don’t

44. nickname: mags, except ppl in real life don’t actually call me that lmao

45. relationship status: single and tbh i’m comfortable with it, i tried dating recently and tbh it is so fucking exhausting

46. zodiac: i am literally a textbook aries

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: the office, bbc sherlock, gravity falls, or anything on the food network/hgtv

49. tattoos: none, i’m scared of pain and commitment

50. right or left handed: right

51. surgery: never had one, thank god

52. piercing: um,,,.,, repeat question

53. favorite sport: tbh i hate sports but i am completely obsessed with the olympics, particularly swimming, diving, figure skating, and women’s gymnastics (seriously.... idk if any of you followed my main during the olympics last year but it was p much all i blogged about)

55. favorite vacation: disney world (i go every year and i went this january but i’m missing it so bad rn)

56. favorite pair of trainers: i have a pair of light gray and light blue nikes that i looooove but i’ve had them for like 3 years and they’re getting worn out

57. eating: nothing, but i did have an eggo waffle this morning

58. drinking: ice water

59. i’m about to: finish packing up my bedroom :(

61. waiting for: my mom to take a shower so we can go grab lunch (there’s literally no food in our house since we’re abt to move)

62. want: the ac to kick on so i can stop dying (it’s already so hot today)

63. get married: hhdgsd idk, ,,, probably (i always say how much i hate romantic shit but tbh i can’t wait to find someone who makes me rethink all the cynical stuff i’ve ever said about love)

64. career: don’t even ask i’m gonna have an anxiety attack (i’m in college and haven’t declared a major yet can u tell)

which is better

65. hugs or kisses: hugs, kissing grosses me out a bit tbh

66. lips or eyes: both (but if i had to pick i’d say eyes i think)

67. shorter or taller: don’t rly care but i guess i’d pick taller

68. older or younger: older

70. nice arms or nice stomach: both (or either)

71. sensitive or loud: these aren’t mutually exclusive but i’d say sensitive

72. hook up or relationship: relationship

73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

have you ever . . .

74. kissed a stranger: no

75. drank hard liquor: no

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: no, my glasses are 100% always on my face

77. turned someone down: yes

78. sex on the first date: mm no

79. broken someone’s heart: yes :/

80. had your heart broken: yes ://

81. been arrested: lmao NO

82. cried when someone died: yes

83. fallen for a friend: yes lmao

do you believe in . . .

84. yourself: i try to !!!!!!

85. miracles: yes

86. love at first sight: no dude... that’s honestly such a dumb notion in my eyes

87. santa claus: um tbh i wish?? like every time i watch rise of the guardians i’m like “that is 1000% what santa would look like” and then i wish he was real

88. kiss on the first date: i wouldn’t want to, just bc i’ve never kissed anyone and i want to get to really know someone first bc i’m so nervous when it comes to things like that

89. angels: no, like i believe that loved ones who’ve passed on can watch over you but i think that’s different from angels

other

90. best friend’s name: eva and kendall

91. eye color: hazel

92. favorite movie: i have millions....,,,,, the secret world of arrietty, monsters university, tangled, big hero 6, how to train your dragon, power rangers, ghostbusters (2016), the incredibles, teenage mutant ninja turtles 2, ratatouille, jersey boys, zootopia .... i’m forgetting a million but yeah. i love animated films, esp. disney/pixar

tagging

i’m literally not tagging 20 people but if i didn’t tag u and you wanna do this, pls pls go ahead and tag me in it!! also i’m soooo sry if i tag you and you’ve already done it/been tagged. anyway i tag: @bbysucculents, @yxonkook, @yoobin-nie, @missmarymoo, @escapaertist, and literally anyone else who wants to do this!! tag me in your answers <3

#ty again chim this was fun and ur answers were cute #I was tagged

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ellipsesarefun · 8 years

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you pour it out for everyone to see

(Sorry if it’s late :(( )

Otayuri Week 2017 Day 2: Social Media/Celebrations (FaceTime, Skype, Youtube, Instagram)

A/N: Sequel to “now i gotta wash my mouth out with soap”~! Also featuring an Original Female Character.

His mind is a cosmic chaos of emotions. Not even skating himself to the death is helping him.

As the past six months ran by, his communication with his labeled “bestie” remained ambiguously normal. They talk on Skype as they usually do, always ranging from their skating routines to their daily nonsense (cats, weather, etc.). And it was perfectly normal. They barely engaged a conversation on love, Mila, or… the Accident (because it totally was; come on, he wasn’t thinking straight.) and that is totally normal in their imaginary rule book. Even before said fiasco, they never really took the time to indulge on that topic, merely in passing (“who was your first kiss”, “who was the worst partner”, “the most embarrassing moment when you dated”). So yea. Totally mundane and ordinary.

Except it wasn’t okay. It took all his strength not to broach on any topic. It would be weird and awkward. Awkweird. It was not the line friends cross and while he did cross the line by an inch, he was just pushed back to his side of the line where he initially belonged. Beka, being casual and everything, did not initiate nor push him about it. He merely kept his usual composure, just how the way things were.

And it only fueled his turmoil. It doesn’t help that his relationship with Mila grew fragile. A few days after he left, she had this.. look. There was no smile this time but there was something on her expression that she knew something.. that somehow it was his fault that he fucked up their relationship.

Through this chaos, anger at himself became his drive in training. But it wasn’t only anger, there was a whole icing of anguish spread on top. He stretched his limits, to the brink of his own sanity, almost tearing his body from limb to limb. To those who noticed said nothing, merely watching from afar and only intervening when he came close to passing out.

And said intervention came to the rescue. She was a friend of his from overseas who lived with katsudon and old man. Her parents and Katstudon’s parents go way back and decided to ship her here in Russia for a mini vacation.

***

Tine [20:30] Yo asshole!

[20:45] tf do u want bitch? why are you still up? katsudon would’ve put you to bed by now..

Tine [20:47] Ahem. I’m a fucking 20-year-old adult. I make the rules.

[20:48] 20-year-old adult in a fifteen-year-old body :p

Tine [20:49] HEY! Watch it, kid, regardless of our two-year gap, I’m still older than you.

[20:50] yea. but i LOOK older than you :p even old man thinks ur my little sis

Tine [20:59] ...point taken.

Tine [21:00] Anyways. How’s it going?

[21:01] cut the crap

Tine [21:03] YOU cut the crap, Mr. “I’m angry with the world and everything that’s teen angst”

[21:06] ur lame af

Tine [21:04] And you’re stalling... haven’t heard from you much.. what’s really up..? how’s he doing?

[21:06] same old same old.. the usual.. nothing changed really..

Tine [21:07] ....After all that?

Tine [21:08] That fucking sucks.

[21:13] tell me about it

[21:15] what makes it worse is mila hasn’t really talked to me..

[21:17] and i’m too distracted in coming up with any ideas for my theme and song music..

[21:18] and beka’s.. Beka’s okay. We’re cool. We talk the usual shit.

Tine [21:19] but you’re not okay.

[21:20] ...is that all you got? putting out the obv?

Tine [21:21] Hm.

[21:22] spill it woman, i don’t have all night for this

Tine [21:23] What say you and I do a little music jam? Make a Youtube account?

[21:24] whut

Tine [21:25] For a stress reliever, dumbass. You can sing. I can sing. We both can play the guitar and we can put it up on Youtube.. Plus we can search for some music you might like that’s beyond classical. It’s a win-win for everyone.

[21:28] what do u get out of this?

Tine [21:30] To do something for shits and giggles. Something nice for my spare time.

Tine [21:31] What say you?

[21:34] sure i guess

Tine [21:25] Such enthusiasm.

[21:26] hey ur asking a lot from me here.

***

True to heart, they went music scavenging as planned on the days he finished his training. That meant his time with his friend from overseas overlapped with his Skyping time with Otabek. He introduced the two one evening and it went slightly awkward, seeing as they barely have anything in common except for maybe some literature, but that was only in passing. She and Yuri decided to keep the music project a secret, with the viable excuse of her being there was to be watched over (”Hey, I’m older than you, you know” “You don’t act like it”). Otabek didn’t mind of course. They still kept their conversations as mundane as they make it while Tine sat beside him mostly in silence, sometimes listening, sometimes reading some shit (”Seriously, just pretend I don’t exist; i don’t usually wanna talk” she laughed). It was an upgraded routine for all of them and no one seemed to mind one bit.

He wasn’t exactly sure how she managed to rope him into this. While yes they both have the skills to do so, he was hesitant in trying her songs. Most of them were dark, creepy and downright strange. She also had a wide variety of options. There was an equal proportion of hip hop, grunge, metal, acoustic, with a few jazz and blues combined. Beka helped as well, seeing he is a DJ and has encountered most of the music she presented. However, he never truly found out what Yuri needed for, only for some new music to skate for.

(Sometimes, he can feel his best friend has an inkling of what they were up to, but that’s just paranoia).

Fortunately, it only took two weeks for them to find a song they both liked.

***

yuri-plisetsky

Soap Cover - Melanie Martinez

[one minute sneak peak video]

“I feel it coming out my throat Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap God, I wish I never spoke Now I gotta wash my mouth out with soap”

[link to Youtube]

#melaniemartinez #cover #soap

Tagged: @chriscapss

6,321 views

View all 763 comments

BestYuriAngels OMFG HE CAN ACTUALLY SING!!!

christophe-gc Such accent!!! <3 Love his voice

Yurisonlylover Who’s she? His surrogate sister or something?

BestYuriAngels @Yurisonlylover I think so.. I saw a picture of them once. [link]

phichit+chu Damn that voice~

v-nikiforov Wow! Amazing, Yurio! @yuri-plisetsky @chriscapss

chriscapps Damn.. so many views per day.. You’re good for this music business @yuri-plisetsky.

***

They only posted one video yet they were already famous. His phone exploded with notifications filled with likes, dislikes and comments. Yakov didn’t seem care, as long as he kept on practicing his usual routines. Mila started talking to him again, with the help of Tin. He introduced them three days after he uploaded their video. One look from Mila and she was already adored by the older skater (”YURI SHE’S SO ADORABLE!!!”). They now go out for coffee breaks.

And Otabek.. Beka was impressed. Still is. After he found out the video, they finally found another topic that piqued their interest: music.

***

Beka [17:00] Hey. Nice cover. When did you learn how to sing like that?

[17:02] a couple of years back, tine’s first visit in russia. We had a couple of gigs together, but this is the first time we ever posted a song that we actually like.

Beka [17:03] You had a lot of disagreements before?

[17:04] pfft, more like full-blown arguments. her song choices can be a little creepy

Beka [17:05] I noticed...

***

Since then, there conversations prolonged and gradually, contentment filled his emotions more than his own anguish over unrequited affections. This upgraded their routine and level of closeness further and while it was not what his other part of himself had hoped, it was enough for him to have that familiar comfort of talking to him again.

This music project isn’t so bad after all.

***

yuri-plisetsky

Carousel Cover - Melanie Martinez

[one minute sneak peak]

“And it's all fun and games, 'Til somebody falls in love, But you've already bought a ticket, And there's no turning back now”

[link to Youtube]

#melaniemartinez #cover #thissongrocks

Tagged: @chriscapss

8,453 views

View all 532 comments

YuriPisMyJam God, that voice.. I live for that voice

Plisexyness Another Melanie?? Is he a CryBaby fan?

chriscapss @Plisexyness I am the huge fan. He just happened to like some of her songs.

Y-Angels56 @chriscapss OMFG, can you do a cover on Cry Baby? Training Wheels? Are you guys gonna cover the whole album.

chriscapss @Y-Angels56 Nah haha. Maybe?

yuri-plisetsy @chriscapss no..

***

Tine [19:00] Any ideas for your music theme?

[20:15] none yet..

Tine [20:25] You doin’ ayt?

[20:30] more or less.. fucking tired though. almost collapsed when i couldn’t nail that jump right...

Tine [20:31] Ah

[20:33] beka and i are doing okay if that’s what you’re asking... am weirded out by mila though.

Tine [20:36] Why?

[20:40] she seems to be talking to me now.. beka hasn’t mentioned about her at all. not like we talk about dating so seriously..

Tine [20:41] Seems okay.. What’s the problem though..

[20:43] nothing i guess..

Tine [20:45] Hm..

[20:47] wanna jam something tom? i think.. i may have a few ideas for my program..

Tine [20:48] Same artist?

[20:49] omfg ur killing me u know...

Tine [20:50] So you do like all of her songs now?

[20:51] not all, okay.. a couple... but she grew on me.. i’ll admit that..

Tine [20:55] YAY! So what say we pick another poison from her album?

***

yuri-plisetsky

Cake Cover - Melanie Martinez

[one minute preview video]

“I feel like I'm just missing Something whenever you leave We've got all the ingredients Except you needing me”

[link to Youtube]

#melaniemartinez #thisonetookthecake #freakinggenius

Tagged: @chriscapss

7,345 views

View all 4556 comments

YuriPisMyJam Okay, third time’s the charm. wtf is going on here?

BestYuriAngels This is just their third song, but they’re all the same artists..

Y-Angels56 That’s just the third video.. nothing much to discern over anything yet..

YuriPisMyJam @Y-Angels yea but.. come on, the chosen lyrics? the chosen songs? there’s something going on...

leodglesia woah @yuri-plisetsky never knew you were a fan.. we should put up some gigs sometime.

***

The internet is now speculating on said posts. It had only been three covers of the same artist and people are already assuming that therein lies a deeper intentions that the said skater was hiding. Even the people around him were starting to wonder, with the stupid pig and stupid old man barraging him with hugs, questioning his mental well-being or if he was moping for someone. Mila even singled him out once or twice over the week, not-so-subtley prying for answer. Otabek was speculative (his best friend is too smart for his own good) but only mentioned in passing. Yuri could only keep up with the excuse to their covers as Tine being an avid fan.

And that was true.

Only, this was an outlet; a healthy outlet to convey his raging emotions. Little did he care that Otabek was oblivious to their purpose now. In a way, it’s pouring his intentions in guise of a singer’s spontaneity (because of this, he was glad that he had Tine singing with him; she’s a really good use for an excuse).

He admittedly grew an appreciation for the artist, how much skill and talent was shown through the way she writes them, and the way she sang each of her songs.

To that extent, it was already giving him ideas for his music and theme for the upcoming competition.

God, he is such a sap.

***

Tine [21:00] Ready for tom?

[21:34] yep.

***

yuri-plisetsky

Training Wheels Cover - Melanie Martinez

[one minute preview video]

“You've been riding two-wheelers all your life It's not like I'm asking to be your wife I wanna make you mine, but that's hard to say Is this coming off in a cheesy way?”

[link to Youtube]

#melaniemartinez #awesomesong

Tagged: @chriscapss

9,234 views

View all 5,656 comments

YuriPisMyJam omfg something else is going on... I just know it..

Y-Angels So maybe there is...

leodglesia Awesome cover, guys!!! Sick guitar plucking @chriscapss

saymyname what is with the Crybaby themes??? Could it be..?

Y-Angels Pining? Unrequited love??? they’re quite apparent...

saymyname maybe it’s just a coincidence.. who knows..

****

Beka [23:30] Hey. Great cover today *thumbs up emoji*

[00:01] thnx..

A/N: Credits to Melanie Martinez and her awesome album track!!

#otayuri week 2017 #day 2 #otayuri #otabek #yurio #mila babicheva #original female character #social media #songfic?#ellipsesarefun writes

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