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ireadwithmyears · 1 year

Text

Absent mindedly making me want you

Pairing: Ellie Williams / female reader

Word count : 12 K 💀 I swear it’s worth it I just really wanted a well rounded story even if this is just a one shot

Summary :

Due to her first-hand experience when it comes to drowning, Ellie takes it upon herself to teach you how to swim. Something that neither of you had anticipated, however, was how intimate this endeavour would be, resulting in a day filled with unresolved sexual tension, that, unsurprisingly and inevitably comes to ahead

Tags/warnings : established relationship, soo much sexual tension, smut (18+, MDNI), porn with minor plot, dom/sub undertones, soft dom Ellie, submissive reader, inexperienced reader (first time), light hair pulling, unsafe lesbian sex, fingering, oral (F receiving), face sitting, lots of dirty talk(bc you cannot convince me that Ellie doesn’t have an absolutely filthy mouth), praise kink, overstimulation, forced orgasm, multiple orgasms, pussy slapping (just once), aftercare, fluff, no use of Y/N

“I’m sorry, wait, hold on. You’re telling me you’ve never learned how to swim?”

The settlement of Jackson has been dealing with, hopefully, the last of its winter storms for the year. Spring had crept its way around the corner, shining its promisingly hopeful rays of warm sunlight for a few, blissfully beautiful, but in the end, all two short days

But then, in what must be mother nature’s idea of a harmless joke, it was crudely snatched away and replaced with icy winds that seemed to settle within your very core, leaving you shivering long after you went inside to get warm. Wyoming had been hit with a blizzard that had caught everyone so off guard, that Jackson was ill-equipped and unprepared to handle it, leaving most of the community snowed in; workloads being much reduced and limited to essential services for the time being, until the snow abated.

This is how you and a group of friends found yourselves in Jesse’s living room, cradling mugs of hot chocolate, enjoying the warmth that seeped into your fingertips, and making a blanket fort as if you were still school children at a sleepover. The snowy days and lack of work seemed to bring out a childish side to everyone, which is how you found yourself engaged in a game of never have I ever, sitting in a tight circle with your friends and girlfriend who, up until a few seconds ago, had been absent mindedly playing with your hair, your head resting against her shoulder, where you had been quite content to stay.

But, she had now pulled back, looking at you with her eyebrows raised, lips quirked down quizzically, as if in thought. You look around at your friends, taking note of everyone else who’s never learned. You’re relieved to find that you’re not alone in this. As expected, the Jackson old-timers, the few of you who have been settled here almost your whole lives, or at least, as long as you could remember, had never encountered an environment that required the ability to swim.

“Nope, it’s never been necessary.” You shrug.

She tilts her head, thinking, a few wisps of auburn hair escaping her ponytail as she regards you, teeth lightly grazing the bottom of her lip as she appears to be calculating an idea in her mind.

“As soon as it gets warm enough, I’m taking you out, and I'm gonna teach you. Joel taught me because he said that I would never know when it was a skill that would become necessary for me to have until it’s too late,” she says, nodding to herself decisively.

“Ah, I see your dad‘s passed off his overprotectiveness onto you,” you smirk, rolling your eyes fondly.

She hits you with a pillow for that.

“Quiet, you,” she says in mock offense.

She pokes your belly lightly and you instinctively jump back with a surprised squeal. You hear the quiet amusement of your friends, Jesse barely containing a snort as he watches. You’re about to utter a retort when she reaches out, pulling you against her, settling you on her lap, where you happily go.

When she presses a chaste kiss to your lips, hand settling at the back of your neck, fingers brushing against your skin, leaving goosebumps to form beneath their eager caresses, any kind of argument dies on your lips. Resistance melts as if it hadn’t been there in the first place, and all thoughts scatter like butterflies, only landing on the one thing that you care to focus on.

It’s her, with her teasing lips and wandering hands, that explore and touch you as if she wants to know you, to memorize you, like you’re her well-kept and cherished secret. She is the only thing that surrounds your mind, the only one who holds your attention so easily, and it takes you a moment to shake yourself free of this haze. It’s strange, and euphoric, a kind of feeling that you’ve never felt before, and you find that you like it – instantly craving more the second that her lips leave yours.

She's kissed you plenty of times before, and though it’s always been an enjoyable experience for you, it’s never felt like that. You decide to file that information away for now; you’ll sort out whatever the fuck these new feelings are later.

When you do come back to yourself, your head nestled against her shoulder, her arms wrapped around you as she looks down at you with warm, soft eyes, you think, yeah, you’ll let her teach you how to swim. You’ll let her do whatever she goddamn pleases, as long as it means that she’ll keep kissing you like that, and bringing out those good kind of butterflies that flutter in your stomach whenever she’s close to you.

To your surprise, Ellie makes good on her promise at the earliest opportunity.

In your experience, life is full of making plans and dreams that, more often than not, fall through. Even here, even in Jackson, where the walls are fortified and everyone is protected, the act of planning future endeavours is a luxury.

Spring finally comes , for real this time, with its customary blend of warmer weather that makes everyone instinctively turn their faces towards the sun, tentatively brushing its heat against their skin. And then, in complete juxtaposition, rain that starts in a slight drizzle that quickly descends into a downpour that sends those who’d ventured outside to appreciate the sunlight running back inside, scrambling to find cover, while quietly grumbling that they wish it was summer already, if only so that they could be freed from this topsy-turvy weather.

Humans are funny like that, you suppose. Never fully able to live in the moment, always wishing for the next season the second spring reveals its more wild side. They forget that the scorching heat of summer will have them complaining and wishing for autumn to come faster in a few months.

Nonetheless, it’s early summer, and you find yourself riding astride Ellie’s mare, Hazel, whose step is light and carefree, tale gently swishing in the warm breeze as you make your way to a clearing with a lake, a few miles out from Jackson’s gates. You’ve taken up the rear position, head resting against your girlfriend's back, arms wrapped around her waist.

From her position, she can’t see the expression on your face, the way you worry. Your bottom lip is between your teeth until it starts to bleed, because quite honestly, you’re nervous. Your instinct is to hide your feelings from her, because it feels silly. “A tough girl like you all freaked out over a little water?” You can almost hear her snark in your head. Logically, you know she wouldn’t say that, not to you, at least. But you can’t help but wonder if she’d think it.

You also know, however, that the minute you’re off this horse and she turns to look at you, she’ll read right through any bullshit or lies you come up with in an instant. Ellie’s just that kind of person; able to read right through people without them even having to say a word. So, as the bird chatter accompanies the beat of Hazel’s hooves against the ground, you speak, softly, tentatively, half-wishing that she won’t hear, almost hoping that your words will be carried off in the slight breeze that ruffles the braid against your back, delicately freeing strands of your hair.

“You know, I’m actually kinda fucking scared to do this,” you figure if you’re going to admit this, it’s just best to rip the Band-Aid off.

She holds the reins one-handed as her other comes to squeeze your wrist gently.

“Can you tell me why?”

You sigh, feeling your cheeks heat with embarrassment as you rest your chin against her shoulder. She’s so warm and steady, confident and self-assured in a way that you couldn’t even attempt to replicate.

She senses your unease, moving her thumb beneath the thin material of your sweater, stroking against the skin of your inner wrist. She lets it rest at the point where she feels your pulse lightly fluttering beneath her.

“Hey.” Her voice is soft, encouraging, “Talk to me, Sweetheart, you’ve got absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Her thumb resumes its movement, stroking back-and-forth along the inside of your wrist, soothing away the knot that’s begun to tie itself in your stomach.

“It’s stupid, I know. It’s just, I’m scared that I’m gonna drown, or something dumb like that,” you roll your eyes, feeling a little bit pathetic.

“It’s not stupid,” you’re not surprised that she’s come to your defence so quickly, but the conviction in her voice gives you pause.

She continues, “I almost drowned, once. Well, I guess it wasn’t almost, I did drown, though I don’t remember the details. It was before Joel had taught me how to swim, probably what made him decide that he had to. But, when he did, it took me the longest time to get over my fear. Every time I so much as touched the water, my mind would bring me back to that moment where I thought I was about to die.”

Her voice is sheepish, nonchalant, but you scoot closer to her on the saddle nonetheless, wrapping your arms just a little tighter around her waist.

“My point is, if you would have seen me when I was fourteen, the way Joel would have to coax me into the water bit by bit, you wouldn’t believe I’m the same person now. Now, I can be assured that whenever I go into the water, nothing’s going to happen to me that I can’t handle.”

She takes your hand in hers, and her voice is completely serious when she speaks now.

“Baby, you know I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, right?”

In spite of your nerves, you know the answer to this question immediately. It’s not even a question, really, you know without even having to think about it that she’ll keep you safe, protect you with her life if necessary, and you nod aggressively, even before she finishes speaking.

“I know, Elles.”

She gives your hand a squeeze.

“Good, because if my 14-year-old freshly traumatized from actually drowning ass can learn how to swim, I am fully confident in your abilities.”

Hazel trots on, and for the first time since you headed out today, you feel a genuine smile pulling the corners of your lips upward, your laughter accompanying the birdsong as you ride on.

“That’s it, just lean back into me, I gotcha.”

She’s teaching you how to float on your back, first, and as you lean against her and lower yourself into the water, you swear you feel the peak of one of her nipples, hardened from the cold, poking through the flimsy material of her tank top, brushing against your back as you submerge yourself. You have to fight to keep your expression neutral, trying not to betray anything on your face. If she asks why you’re blushing, you’ll just say it’s because of the heat.

Her hand holds you up, pressing into the small of your back as she instructs you, and it’s nice, the heat that radiates from the warmth of her skin. You feel it through your tank top, and maybe it’s because the water is cold and it’s heightening all of your senses, or maybe it’s because you’re in a pair of underwear and a tank top, feeling very exposed to your girlfriend in a way that you’ve never been with anyone, but you’re getting goosebumps, and you know for a fact that it has nothing to do with you being cold.

You hope to yourself that the feeling of having her hands on you will get easier throughout the day, because for some inexplicable reason, the feeling of her hand pressing against you like this is making it hard to focus on what she’s actually saying.

You quickly discover that it does not get easier as the day goes on.

It actually gets so much fucking harder to bear as the sun begins to sail higher in the sky.

When she’s about to teach you how to kick, her hands ghost over your hips, making you jump.

“Sorry, hun, I should’ve asked,” she apologizes softly.

You can’t bring yourself to look at her, and have to temper your voice to not sound eager as you respond. “No, you’re good, go ahead, I'm just cold, that’s all.”

When her hands caress your sides before settling against your hips, your teeth sink into the inside of your cheek, trying to contain the gasp that wants to escape.

Is she truly that fucking unaware of what she’s doing to you?

The skin where her fingers had trailed over tingles, and you have to give your head a slight shake to clear it, because that touch, regardless of how innocently meant it might’ve been to her, suddenly makes you want to get on your knees and beg her to touch you like that again.

You want more.

You learn the mechanics of how to propel yourself through the water, arms and legs separately. When it comes time to put the two together, Ellie eases you onto your stomach. The water is still shallow, your toes can still touch the ground. This was as deep as you’d be going today, she had told you, making you feel relieved.

“I’m just gonna put a hand on your stomach to hold you up. You’re still gonna have my help, I’m right here,” you’re stomach muscles tense when her hand lightly presses against it. She must think you’re nervous, because she gently strokes her thumb up and down between your rib cage, in a way that should be reassuring, but in reality, makes heat radiate from between your legs. You’re grateful that she can’t see your face, because the small pool of wetness that blossoms against your panties is undeniable now, and it makes your cheeks heat.

Okay, so you have to admit it now. You’re horny. In spite of the fact that you’ve never had sex and you haven’t been ready to take that step before today, as you slowly move through the water, feeling her hand pressing against your stomach, so close but so, so far from where you want her to be, you know that you want her, in a way that you’ve never wanted anyone before.

“At a girl, just like that,” she says encouragingly, and you swear you can feel your thigh muscles clenching involuntarily, thoughts drifting to a very different scenario in which she’d utter those words.

It’s late afternoon, the sun is high in the sky, warming your shoulders as you stand in the water. You’ve long ago adjusted to its cool, murky depths, and you’re not on edge anymore.

At least you weren’t, until Ellie suggests that to finish off the day, you try moving a little bit on your own. Your eyebrows raise, in obvious alarm, and her hands settle on your shoulders, quick to reassure you.

“You won’t have to go far, I’ll be right in front of you, I promise, all you need to do is just keep coming towards me.”

You tilt your head, considering. Yes, you’ve grown accustomed to the water, but whenever you’ve been moving, she’s always had a hold on you, and you felt safe, knowing that there wasn’t even a chance that you would go under.

Seeing your still evident hesitation, Ellie steps closer, a hand grazing against your waist as she presses her lips to your forehead briefly, before she speaks, her voice low and teasing against your ear.

“Can you do it for me?” She says softly. Her fingers are tracing slow, enticing circles over your waist, soothing you, but making you feel all worked up at the same time.

She’s so close that you can feel her lips brush against your ear when she speaks, and you can’t hide the shiver that runs down your spine. You’ve lost the ability to form coherent thought, for the moment, and you have to mentally kick yourself to push your mind back into any semblance of reality. God, if she asks you like that, you’ll do anything.

You don’t say that, though. You only nod meekly, not trusting your voice to be controlled when you speak.

When her hand gives your hip an appreciative squeeze, you feel her breath ghost against the curve of your neck as she speaks. “Good girl,” she practically purrs, a quiet, low hum against your ear that makes your knees buckle so hard that you have to dig your feet into the sand beneath you so that you don’t faceplant into the water.

When she pulls back, taking slow, tentative steps away from you, she knows that you’re watching her every move. She can feel your eyes burning into her, the further she moves away, nerves making you fidget with the hem of your top. When she’s several metres away, she reaches out a hand, beckoning.

“Okay, c’mere, Baby Girl.”

Her voice is low, persuasive, encouraging you forward. But it still takes you a solid 30 seconds of anxiously staring at her before you actually begin to move. She stands, arms folded, patiently waiting for you to give in, because she knows that sooner or later, you will.

She’s not that far away, not really. She still would easily be able to reach her arms out, steadying you if somehow, even in this shallow water, you managed to bring yourself under. Still, when you kick back, and you no longer feel the assurance of the soft sand against your feet, or Ellie‘s arm wrapped securely around your stomach to hold you up, you freeze. She notices instantly, and her voice is quick to call you back, bringing your racing heart back down with a few, gentle words.

“Hey, eyes on me.”

You swim forward, it’s unsure and hesitant, but at least you’re moving. You can’t always keep your eyes on her, but when your head is lowered to the water, you can always hear her voice, which she uses to get you to keep going.

“That’s it, almost there.”

She eggs you on, making your limbs instinctively move faster, cutting through the water with an almost desperate urge to get to her. You’re reaching for her, arms ready to wrap around her waist when she meets you halfway, scooping you up into her arms.

“That’s my girl,” she whispers against your lips, cradling the back of your head as she pulls you in. Your eyes flutter shut, and you can’t help the small sigh that she elicits from you as she lowers her head to kiss you. Her lips meet yours in a slow, soft caress, searing as her touch sets your skin alight with heat. Instinctively, only half aware of what you’re doing, your legs wrap around her waist, desperately pulling yourself against her with a sudden need that is too strong to be contained.

When her hand, tangled in your hair, gently pulls, forcing your head back as she deepens the kiss, your mouth falling open as her tongue teases past your lips, you are unable to hold back the little moan that escapes you, scalp tingling at the sensation of her fingers, curled against strands of your wet hair, holding tight, keeping you exactly where she wants you.

She’s so close, you realize. Your legs wrapped around her like this, your heat pressed so near to hers. It’s enough to send your thoughts reeling. Every nerve ending in your body is alive with want and need.

Her hand makes a slow path, warm, delicate fingers journeying from your waist all the way up to the peak of your breast, leaving a trail of goosebumps to form in their wake. Her hand rests against you, leaving you warm and wanting, and just when you think that you can’t handle any more, she moves her thumb in a slow, deliberate caress over your perked, hardened nipple, which, at this point, your tank top, with its thin, soaked through material that clings to your every curve, leaves little up to her imagination. She can see you, she can see all of you. Your breath shutters, the smallest sound of want, of need, of desperation escaping your throat in a choked, pleading moan that has your back arching.

And that’s when Hazel makes her displeasure and boredom known, letting out a loud, displeased nay of indignation as she stamps her hooves against the ground.

The noise is so sudden, so out of the blue, disrupting the sounds of the water gently lapping around you, and the ambiance of nature that you’ve grown quite accustomed to hearing over the past few hours, that it makes you both jump. You startle so hard that you nearly fall into the waters below, jolting back as your head whips around to discover the source of the noise. Ellie’s arms are secure, though, you feel her adjusting her hold on you, wrapping them around you tighter. She too frantically searches the area around you for signs of trouble.

When you realize that you’re in no imminent danger, and that it’s just Hazel being her typical, dramatic self, you both look at each other, and simultaneously, slow smiles creep across your faces. She can feel you begin to shake with laughter. All the adrenaline leaves your body in a relieved, sudden rush that escapes with the quiet, barely contained snort that you desperately try to hold back. After that, it’s over. Ellie’s face buries against your hair as you both begin to laugh uncontrollably.

You feel her breathy, relieved sigh ruffle your hair. “We should probably go see what her problem is – knowing Hazel, a mosquito probably landed on her and she freaked the fuck out. God, that horse is such a drama queen.”

She rolls her eyes, but there’s an underlying affection that she can’t keep out of her voice, even if she tries.

“Probably saw us kissing and was offended. Maybe she’s homophobic,” you quip, chuckling.

Ellie gasps in mock horror. “I practically raised that horse, there’s no fucking way,” you both laugh as she begins to move towards the shore, you cradled against her with your head on her shoulder.

Riding back to Jackson when you’re extremely sexually worked up, it turns out, is no fun.

Your girlfriend, as much as you love her, is doing nothing to help the situation.

In general, Ellie prefers to ride horses that are the most chaotic, and that carry attitudes that make them almost borderline untrainable. She says it’s because she can empathize with them, she listens to them in a way that no one else does.

You think, privately, that it’s because it scares the shit out of Joel. He lives in constant fear that Hazel is going to throw Ellie off, sending his already accident prone daughter home with a broken leg and a concussion. You swear, Ellie enjoys getting a rise out of him, making his heart race with all of the reckless shit that she does.

Hazel has been sitting still for too long, and is now thoroughly enjoying the freedom of being able to trot about; she tries to take advantage of it regardless of the cargo on her back, making for a bumpy ride.

You’re riding in front, this time, and every time you hit an unavoidable bump, Ellie rests her hands on your hips. She claims that she’s doing it to keep you steady, make sure that you don’t fall off the horse. but, you know better. You know an ulterior motive when you see one. The way that her hands linger, fingers slowly teasing At the edge of your still damp top, drawing slow, light circles against the exposed skin she finds beneath, suggesting that she has other plans in mind. It makes you shiver.

“You cold, baby?” Her voice is low against your ear, the unexpected proximity making you jump. She cannot be serious. Even though it’s late afternoon, evening fast approaching, the day is still scorching, hence why you’ve opted out of wearing your sweater on the way back. You didn’t even want to put on shorts over your damp underwear, but alas, you still had some shred of modesty left, not wanting to make whoever was stationed to guard Jackson’s gates uncomfortable.

When her arms wrap around your waist, pulling you flush against her, you swear that you can feel her hips slowly moving as she grinds against you suggestively. Her lips brush against the bare skin of your shoulder, lingering as her warm breath ghosts against your skin, caressing against your neck with its heat. You can’t hold back your gasp at the feeling.

One of her hands travels down, settling against your knee with a gentle squeeze.

“How’s that, Baby Girl, is that better?”

God!

If she doesn’t fuck you soon, you swear you’re gonna kill her. Or, at this rate, she’s gonna kill you first with the way she’s sending your heart racing like that.

If you had thought that getting home, changing into a fresh pair of clothes, and giving yourself the chance to calm your racing heart would magically put an end to whatever was stirring up inside of you, you were sadly incorrect in your assumptions.

You’re sitting on the couch in your living room, wearing a sundress that falls to your knees because it’s light and you enjoy the slight breeze that it creates when you move. It flutters around your legs gently in the humid air. It might provide next to no relief at all, but it’s still better than nothing.

Ellie sits across from you in an armchair. Without even looking, you can feel her staring at you, eyes burning into you with a restrained and tempered want. You suspect that she’s holding it back, now wondering if she’s crossed a boundary today and made you uncomfortable.

That couldn’t be further from the truth, but Ellie is the type of person who acts on impulse, then completely over analyzes and over thinks her actions later, until she’s convinced herself that she’s fucked something up. She’s so bold, so confident in the things she does in the moment. But, in the end, she’s still someone who sometimes needs you to explicitly communicate and validate what she does after the fact. Regardless of how her confidence is so vast, and can sometimes be mistaken for being cocky, on the inside, she’s deeply insecure and needs reassurance.

Glancing up at her through your lashes, seeing the way that she twists and fidgets with the hair elastic on her wrist, the slight frown on her face, the almost guilty way her eyes flit away from you when she sees you looking, you know that she needs that right now, and you fully intend to not just give that to her, but encourage her forward.

Setting down the book that you weren’t actually reading, just trying to distract yourself with and completely failing, you rise to your feet, and as you move to her, she looks up at you with a smile, slipping back into its place effortlessly.

“Hey, baby, what’s up?”

Her voice is low and soft, and the way her eyes skim over you, pausing at where your dress falls, the hem barely skimming your knees, makes heat flush at the back of your neck.

“Want somethin’.”

You admit, crawling into her lap, bracing your hands on her shoulders.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

She quirks a brow, and the way her eyes smoulder as she looks at you makes you nervous, stomach fluttering with anxious butterflies as she looks intently at you.

You’ve got her full attention, and now that you do, you don’t know what to do with it. You were fully ready to take the lead on this, but at the end of the day, you’re still shy and inexperienced, and she’s everything that you’re not. To be honest, it’s intimidating, knowing her wealth of experience that you couldn’t even attempt to match.

The insistent butterflies take flight in your stomach; you decide that the only way forward is by pure instinct, and the blind hope that you won’t embarrass yourself too much.

You lean forward slowly, hesitating slightly until, with understanding, Ellie’s hand comes up to cradle the back of your head, encouraging you the rest of the way forward until your lips meet hers, and suddenly, you forget exactly what your plan originally was, if you even really had one in the first place. It easily slips out of your mind as you melt against her, effortlessly letting her take the lead.

Her fingers brush against your lower back, holding you securely against her. This isn’t like your usual, every day kiss, one that starts off slow and gentle. Her lips are insistent, pressing against yours with a desperate, persistent need. Her fingers absently brush against your scalp, running through your hair before cupping the back of your neck, the pressure just firm enough.

All you know is her. Her lips, claiming your mouth with a possessiveness that makes you ache for her inside. Her tongue, swiping over your lips, making you gasp slightly. As your lips part for her, you hear the low, satisfied sound she breathes against you as her tongue pushes past your lips, exploring your mouth with a hunger that you’ve never sensed in her before.

Her thigh pushes between your legs, parting them with ease and settling between them, grazing against your clothed heat. When her hand schemes down your lower back, caressing over your ass, before pressing against it with a firm squeeze, you can’t resist the way your hips buck against her, desperately chasing the friction, unable to hold back the small whimper when you’re clit presses against the rough denim of her cut-offs.

The sound seems to startle you so much that you still your movements, eyes going wide as Ellie pulls back to look at you. She doesn’t even bother holding back the smirk that overtakes her features.

“Oh, so that’s what you want.”

Her green eyes darken with want, voice low and gravelly with desire as she studies you, perched on her lap with a needy expression behind your innocent eyes. Her fingers brush against your hips, teasing over your skin.

Heat flushes against your collarbone, spreading to warm your cheeks as you try to look down, wanting to escape the scrutiny of her piercing gaze. She anticipates your movement, and stops you with a hand coming to curl beneath your chin, making a soft noise of disapproval.

“Look at me, pretty girl, and tell me what you want,”

Her voice is still soft, still gentle, but there’s a warning edge that’s crept into it, an effortless authority, that sends a jolt straight through you, making your already throbbing clit pulse with anticipation. Her fingers nudge your chin upwards, holding firmly as she directs your eyes to meet hers, smouldering with uncontained lust as she watches you.

“You.”

Your answer comes out in barely a breath, barely a whisper.

“I want you.”

You feel like your response sounds ridiculous.

It sounds small.

It sounds completely inadequate.

And yet, when Ellie’s hand snakes beneath your dress, fingers toying with the waistband of your panties, her lips brushing against your ear as she says low, “that, sweet girl, I would be happy to oblige.”

She flexes her thigh up against your heat, rubbing over your swollen clit, making you cry out in surprise.

Her shirt hits the floor with a dull thump, pulled off by your eager and curious hands. You want to see her. You want to touch her. You want...

But now that it’s off and she’s looking down at you like that, your brain catches up to your body. What are you doing? What are you supposed to do? You don’t know how to do this. You don’t know where to put your hands, and the idea of fumbling around and embarrassing yourself is enough to make you nervous.

She sees the moment you begin to question yourself and overthink it, in the way that you catch your bottom lip between your teeth, the way your hand flexes, curling into itself with anxiety.

“Hey,” she says softly, waiting for your eyes to meet hers. Her hands caress up and down the sides of your arms, pulling you from the spiral that your mind was going in, bringing you back to earth with a soothing touch.

“I know that this is your first time, and I just want you to know that I don’t expect anything of you tonight. The only thing I want is to make you feel good. So just, let me do that, okay?”

When she leans in, arms wrapping around you, and her lips press against your neck in a slow, seductive kiss, she can feel the shiver that runs down your spine, and she makes a note to remember that you’re sensitive there.

You feel her lips close to your ear as she speaks.

“Just let me take care of my girl tonight.”

Her hand schemes down your side, fingers drawing teasing circles over your hip. Your eyes close and your breath comes in a sharp, unsteady inhale and all you can do is look at her, eyes hooded, and say in a shaky voice, “please.”

You feel her low chuckle against your neck.

“Such pretty manners,” she hums against your skin, before you feel the gentle graze of teeth join her lips, delivering a small, sharp sting that you imagine will leave a mark.

This thought doesn’t scare you in the way that you thought it would. Your first thought isn’t of how on earth you’re going to cover this up tomorrow. The idea that there will be physical evidence of her, of what she’s doing to you, that there will be a reminder of it in the morning turns you on, sending a thrill through you.

Her tongue replaces where her teeth had just been, gently soothing over the sting. “Good girl,” she breathes, hand coming up to fiddle with the spaghetti strap of your dress. “I want this off,”

She waits for you to nod your consent, and then she’s sliding the straps off your shoulders, letting it fall. It pools around your waist in a soft brush of its material.

Fingers brush over your stomach, and you shiver with anticipation, already knowing the path they intend to travel over your skin. Her hands graze over your ribs, before she curls them around the curves of your breasts. She looks down at them, cradled in her hands, and her lips curl upward.

Warm, experienced hands massage and knead your breasts, gentle caresses and squeezes encouraging, coaxing your nipples to harden beneath her touch. Her thumb brushes over one of the hardening buds, and you gasp at even the slightest attention. She seems to relish in drawing sounds from you, her index finger joining her thumb, as she rolls your perked nipple between her fingers, adding the slightest pinch.

“You’re so fuckin pretty, you know that? The site of these,” she tweaks your other nipple, making your breath stutter, “peeking through your shirt at the lake was teasing me all day.”

Her face buries against your neck, she becomes rougher, more insistent. Still slow and attentive, but there’s a possessive edge to it as she leaves a trail of marks down your throat, your collarbone.

You love every second of getting to see this new side of Ellie, one that you haven’t seen before. The way that she’s intently listening to your body, finding out exactly how to touch you in a way that brings out those little gasps and mules that are like music to her ears, you want to see this side of her more often.

She’s enjoying the sight of her marks on you just as much as you are; a thrill runs through her, knowing that everyone will see that you belong to her.

She pauses toying with your nipple as her hand falls to your thigh, letting her breath graze against your skin, before she leans in, lips encircling the pebbled bud with a gentle suck. You whimper as her teeth barely graze your skin, tongue swirling over the small bud teasingly. She makes an appreciative sound against you while her fingers brush the bare skin of your inner thigh.

Her thumb teases over the seam of your panties, and you swear that you can feel her lips pull into a smirk as she feels the evident wetness pooling there. When she grazes a knuckle over your clothed clit, using a featherlight touch, your hips instinctively buck, you’re so worked up.

“Ellie,” your cheeks flush at the way that she’s got you whining for her with just one touch to wear you’ve been craving her to be. “Please, I, I need you to touch me there.”

“Aww, you’re so pretty when you beg for me,” she coos, two fingers caressing over your heat.

Your head falls back, eyes closing as you try to suppress the whimper that fights to escape at her teasing.

“Ellie, please,” and if you weren’t trying to beg before, you definitely are now.

She tilts her head, a slightly pleased expression crossing her kiss swollen lips as she looks at you, thoroughly unravelled before she’s even fully gotten you undressed.

“That’s all you had to say, Princess.”

Her voice is low and smooth, calm and effortless, in complete juxtaposition to her next actions, because suddenly, your dress is being yanked the rest of the way down, Ellie tossing it to the floor in a careless heap. She lifts you with ease, flipping you around so that your back is pressed against her bare chest. Her arms curl around you, holding you close to her, fingers trailing down your stomach, scheming over the waistband of your panties. One finger hooks under, and she pauses, voice suddenly soft.

“Can I take these off, baby girl?” Her finger strokes along the bare skin that she’s found beneath your panties, just above your mound, inviting, but not moving lower.

“Ellie,” you say with growing desperation. She’s teased you all day, and you can’t take much more of it. You’ve reached the end of your rope, and you can tell, without even having to look at her, that she’s fully aware of it, she’s just enjoying teasing you a little longer, dragging out the moment for even just a few seconds more. She’s so close to where you need her, but not close enough, and you need her to bridge the distance. “You can do whatever you want,” your head falls back against her shoulder, auburn hair tickling against your face as she leans down to whisper.

“Don’t give me any ideas, princess. You might regret it.”

Her words make you shutter, but, nonetheless, she pulls, and in a matter of seconds, she’s sending your panties to join your dress on the floor, with a practiced flick of her wrist.

She doesn’t waste much time now; her hands gently part your thighs.

“Spread your legs for me, Pretty Girl, I want to see all of you.”

She coaxes, not that you need much urging. You feel her legs cage over yours, wrapping around them, holding them open for her. Fingers ghost over your curls, dipping between your lips. She collects your wetness, fingers gliding effortlessly up to your clit, coating it in your own arousal.

“Barely touched you, and you’re already soaked for me,” two fingers press against your swollen clit, drawing slow, easy circles over your heat, already making your walls clench around nothing.

Her other hand moves, pausing to give an affectionate pinch to one of your perked breasts, making you gasp in surprise, your hips instinctively jolting forward, pushing against the hand that continues to massage, tease, and press against your clit. It continues its path downward, caressing over your hip, your inner thigh.

Long, tapered fingers dip between your folds, tentatively swirling around your entrance, gathering the wetness that’s collected there. You don’t realize you’re begging until, achingly slowly, one of her fingers brushes over your tight, glistening hole. She doesn’t push it forward, only curling it slightly to pet at your entrance.

“F-fuck, please,” your head falls back against her shoulder, and your hips push forward, trying to take her inside, but to no avail.

“Such a needy girl,” she murmurs, smirking at the way that you nod.

She’s got you so desperate that you’ll agree to anything she says; you won’t even try to deny it. It would be pointless, anyways. All she has to do is look down and see the way that your hips are bucking against her to know that you would be lying through your teeth. Nonetheless, she gently eases a finger inside you and you let out a long, tremulous breath as she pushes her finger, easing it all the way inside until she’s down to her knuckle.

She’s watching carefully for your reactions and she can feel how tight you are around her; she doesn’t want to cause you any pain. But when she tentatively, curiously, crooks her finger slightly upward, searching, a jolt runs through you, your body trembling and hips jerking forward, chasing the contact. It’s too much, and it’s not enough, and you need more.

“Fuck, I, Ellie, I I want,” your hands grip onto her thighs tightly.

She presses a soft kiss to the side of your neck before whispering,“That’s it, baby, use your words. Tell me what you need,” her finger pumps in and out at an unhurried, languid pace, barely grazing over that spot that you so desperately need her to touch.

“Need more of you inside me,” you whimper, unable to keep the desperate edge from creeping into your voice. A second finger joins the first, slowly pushing through your entrance. You immediately feel the stretch, unfamiliar to having someone else’s fingers there, but you’re quickly distracted, because as soon as both fingers are pushing into you, she increases the pressure against your throbbing clit, fingers drawing rough, tight circles over your swollen bud.

The sound you make is high and uncontained.

Calloused fingers brush against your inner walls, clenching around them as Ellie stretches you out. Her fingers curl, a slight beckoning motion as she easily finds that spot inside of you. The pads of her fingers press firmly against it, fingers insistently petting at your center with small, precise strokes against your sweet spot. She's hitting that spot in a way that you’ve never been able to accomplish on your own.

You’re seeing stars, because she’s everywhere you want and need her to be, and now, the only thing you can do is grind your hips down against her fingers that are so effortlessly toying with you.

It comes out of nowhere, the coil that eagerly begins to tighten in your stomach. Your toes curl with anticipation, and your hands are gripping onto her so tightly. You’re pretty sure that you’re the one who’s going to be leaving bruises now. Her fingers continue to thrust in and out of your weeping cunt, and maintain the relentless pressure against your clit.

Ellie’s chin rests against your shoulder, watching attentively, and if you could see her, you’d see how utterly enthralled she is at how much of a mess she’s made you, eyes heavy as she watches her fingers plunge in and out of your cunt. Her voice is low against your ear, rough, commanding when she speaks.

“That’s it, Baby Girl, I want you to fuck yourself on my fingers and cum for me.”

You’ve always experienced orgasms as a gradual build, a wave, gently cresting against the shore. So, the way the coil in your stomach abruptly snaps, almost an instant after Ellie finishes speaking, has you taken completely by surprise. She’s attached her lips back onto your neck, sucking a mark just against your pulse point, which she feels fluttering rapidly beneath her tongue.

There’s the stuttering of hips accompanied by a sharp cry and Ellie feels your walls tighten around her fingers, unceasing in her ministrations even as your orgasm barrels through you.

“Good girl, fucking give it to me,” she nearly growls, as her fingers continue to fuck you through your orgasm. All you can do is whimper uselessly, rocking your hips against her hand, as thrills ignite every inch of your body, making you tremble all over.

When you come down from your high, you’re collapsed against her chest, and she’s slowly easing off the pressure.

The first thing you notice is that you don’t feel the same as you usually would if you had just done this by yourself. For some reason, you thought that you were a one and done kind of girl. Usually you orgasm once, and then you take a nap, feeling for the most part satisfied. But as her fingers slide out of you, leaving you feeling empty, all you can think is that you want more.

Then, Ellie’s holding up her glistening fingers, slick with your arousal, in front of her face. You turn to watch her, curious, as she slides them into her mouth, licking them clean. She hums, and you raise a brow questioningly as she looks down at you, her eyes bearing an expression that is almost predatory in its intensity.

“What?” you ask, already feeling goosebumps rising along your skin.

“Nothing,” she shrugs, shaking her head slightly. “It’s just, now that I’ve had a taste of you, I want more.” You turn fully to face her, lips curving into a smirk. Your hand trails over her breasts, and she looks at you with interest.

“Please,” you’re still breathless, and your voice is still unsteady.

“I want you too.”

“Atta girl, just like that.”

Admittedly, as much as you’ve had countless fantasies involving sitting on Ellie’s face, the prospect of actually doing it, as much as you want to, gives you pause. She’s carried you up to the bed, at some point along the way, the rest of her clothes came off, you’ll probably find them scattered along the hallway later. But that doesn’t matter right now.

What matters is that you’re hovering over her face, looking down at her while trying not to look nervous and out of your comfort zone, which you totally are, and she obviously isn’t buying it. Gentle hands reach for you, holding your hips and pulling you against her easily.

“All the way down, Honey, that’s it,” she coaxes, easing you down onto her. “You’re good, you’re not gonna kill me,” her hand caresses up and down your side, soothing, even as you feel her warm breath ghosting over your heat, making your cheeks flush, as you look down at how close she is to you.

“I gotcha’, Pretty Girl, just relax,” her voice is smooth, assured, confident, in a way that makes your muscles relax in spite of yourself.

That’s when you feel her tongue, warm and wet, brushing through your folds. The sensation is so new, so unfamiliar to you, that for a second, you freeze, your breath catching in your throat.

Then, her tongue flattens, pressing over your clit and applying a slight pressure that has you arching against her. Her tongue curls over your swollen nub, gently drawing it towards her lips, an almost imperceptible pulling motion that has your hands scrambling for something to hold onto, finding a grip against the headboard of the bed.

She makes a contented hum as her lips wrap around your center, the sound vibrating against you making your hips jolt. Her hands curl around the undersides of your thighs, holding you in place. Your hands hold onto the headboard of the bed for dear life, feeling like it’s the only solid thing that you have to hold onto, keeping you from toppling over the edge and out of control.

You’ve never felt like this before. Each swipe of her tongue over your heat, the gentle pulse of her lips as she sucks, enveloping you in her warm, wet mouth, brings a new sensation thrumming through your veins, almost akin to fire as it shoots through you, pleasure licking over every inch of your skin like flames. It’s overwhelming, in such a way that you don’t know what to do with it, how to express it.

All you can do, at this point, is roll your hips against her mouth, hold onto the headboard, and let small, desperate whimpers escape your lips. You’re trying to hold onto some semblance of containing yourself, because you don’t know what would happen if you let yourself unravel completely. You’re terrified of what Ellie might see if you fell apart like that.

She seems to be doing everything she can to break away at your composure though. Her tongue is alternating between dragging slow, tender circles over your clit, and firm, quick strokes, that has your head falling against your hands, braced against the headboard. She flicks her tongue against you, her lips surrounding your clit in a particularly firm suck, and before you know it, you’re spilling over the edge, eyes shut tightly, and breath releasing in a long, shuttering moan that seems to run from the top of your head to the tips of your tightly curled toes, her tongue continuing to caress you over your peak.

She moans into you, and it all becomes too much. Your head is thrown back and your hands are reaching down, tangling in her hair, to push her away or pull her closer; it’s unclear in your fuzzy mind. All the while, her insistent tongue continues to swirl over your increasingly oversensitive bundle of nerves, the relentless and inescapable pleasure making you shiver all over, while a light sweat breaks out on your bare skin.

You only drift back into yourself when you become aware of a shift. It’s so fast, you barely have time to even blink, before Ellie manoeuvres you, flipping you onto your back and roughly parting your thighs with her hands. Her fingers run through your glistening folds, calloused thumb pressing against your aching, overstimulated clit. The sensation has you gasping, crying out, and trying to close your legs, buck your hips, move away.

Frantically, you try to jam your legs shut, trying to escape her mercilessly teasing fingers. Rough hands force your thighs apart, putting you on display for her as she holds you open.

“Uh uh, not this time, Baby,” she tuts disapprovingly. “No more holding back on me, Sweet Girl,” listening to the low, dominant tone of her voice is like a drug to you, and your eyes roll back into your head as she speaks.

“I want everyone to know how good I fuck this pretty little pussy.” Two fingers circle your clit and you jolt, trying to move away. But a strong arm pushes your hips down, pinning you against the bed easily.

Faster than you can process, her fingers retreat, and you don’t even have time to feel relieved, because a split second later, her hand comes down against your cunt with a smack, delivering a stinging, rough spank that has you crying out, clit throbbing and pulsing with the agonizingly delicious mix of pain and pleasure.

“Now, you’re gonna be a good girl, and you’re gonna take everything I give you.”

Two fingers notch at your entrance, but she waits, looking at you, a silent question, an invitation for you to tell her that this is too much and that you need to stop. You know she would in a heartbeat if you told her that this was too much or too rough for you right now, and that’s what makes you feel safe enough to continue.

So, when you respond by attempting to push your hips forward against her, a soft whimper falling from your lips, she smirks, and with the slightest movement of her wrist, her fingers thrust into you. Seconds later, her face is buried in between your legs, tongue gently lapping at your sensitive clit. After two orgasms, you’re hyper aware of every movement; every swirl of her tongue is sweet, hot agony that undoes you in seconds.

At the same moment her lips take your clit into her mouth, holding it as her tongue swipes a tight, rough circle over your heat, her fingers curl, and she finds that spot inside you that makes your legs begin to shake, pressing against it with each punishing thrust of her fingers.

Your moans are loud, unrestrained, sounds that you would be embarrassed to make if you were in any way capable of controlling them. But you’re not, because your mind is only filled with her, her and her tongue on your clit, and her strong fingers pumping in and out of your wet cunt, playing with you as easily and as effortlessly as she plays the guitar.

She’s clearly enjoying the sounds that fall from your lips, every beg and plea and moan of her name making her feel quite smug that she’s undone you so easily…she encourages you to continue, making a contented hum against your clit. She only looks up long enough to say:

“That’s it, I want to hear you being such a dirty little girl for me.”

A third finger slowly, carefully, pushes in; the stretch makes you feel so full, so good, it nearly takes your breath away. Her fingers thrust in and out slowly, testing the waters, wanting to make sure that you’ve adjusted – but you are having absolutely none of it.

Your head is thrown back and your hips are thrusting forward, or trying to, but her arm is so fucking strong that she doesn’t even have to try that hard to keep you pinned against the mattress, exactly where she wants you to be. You don’t even realize you’re begging until you see her smirking up at you.

“Please, Ellie, please, fuck, I-I want,” it’s a challenge to even string coherent words together, but you’re distracted by her face, now looking up at you as her thumb takes over, stroking against your clit.

“Come on, Baby girl, tell me what you want,” she presses her thumb a little harder into you, making you gasp brokenly.

You take a breath to steady yourself, and your words still come out stuttered, but you say them, blushing in a way that she finds absolutely endearing considering you’re already spread out on her bed with three of her fingers buried inside of you.

“I-I want it harder,” you admit, your cheeks burning. “Want you to fuck me.”

“You’re so fuckin pretty when you use your words like that, Baby,” she praises. “Such a good fuckin girl,” then, her fingers are thrusting in and out, setting a rough pace, hitting that spot in a way that feels so much stronger than it already was.

When she lowers her head, tongue dipping between your folds, returning to feast at your clit rough, persistent swirls and flicks over your swollen center, any slight ability to contain yourself is lost. You’re not aware of the sounds that you’re making, or the way that your hands scramble to find a hold on something, anything solid, eventually coming to clutch the soft bed sheets, holding them tightly in between your fingers.

You’re only aware that your orgasm is approaching, and that Ellie, little by little, is nudging you towards a peak that once you make it over, you think might absolutely wreck you, in the best possible way. All you know is that you want this, you want her. You need her.

God.

You really fucking need her.

She feels your walls beginning to flutter around her, her free hand shifts down, coming to grip your thigh, opening you even wider for her.

“Come on, baby, wanna hear all those pretty sounds you make for me when you cum.”

She says against you, adjusting her wrist to fuck you with her fingers deeper. The new angle has you keening, hips desperately thrusting to chase the friction of whatever new spot she’s hitting.

Her tongue flattening against you as she draws firm, tight circles over your bundle of nerves, The way that your back is arching, hips uselessly trying to grind down against her and her relentless fingers, fucking into your weeping cunt mercilessly. She’s guiding you exactly to where she wants you to go, straight up towards that peak. Your vision blurs.

“Fucking give it to me, Pretty Girl, want you to cum for me, all over my fingers and my mouth.”

Your back arches off the bed, and suddenly, all you know is wave after wave of ecstasy that crashes through your body, electric shocks that pulse through you, making you jolt and flail uselessly combined with the rhythmic pumping of her fingers, and the dipping and swirling of her tongue against you.

She works you through your orgasm, never slowing the movements of her tongue or her fingers that continue to drag in and out of you, sustaining your pleasure for as long as she can possibly hold it. Her lips wrap around your clit, as her tongue swipes through your folds, collecting all the wetness that she can find. She hums against you, encouraging your loud moans, and by the time it’s over, you’re a shaking, completely fucked out mess on her bed,

If you happened to see the expression on her face as she watches you writhing beneath her, your hands twisting the sheets into knots and broken, unrestrained whimpers fall from your lips, she’s taking in the sight with immense appreciation, as if you’re the work of art she’s just created.

Turns out, the only thing that you have the ability to do post-three orgasms is roll over onto your stomach, shaking and trembling, and try, desperately, to regain your breath.

Ellie, for her part, crawls up the bed beside you, hand coming up to tenderly stroke back the hair that sticks to your forehead, before gently rubbing your back.

“Easy, baby, that’s it, just breathe for me.”

You’re eventually able to regain your breath, but your body feels floppy and light, and you can’t even begin to comprehend the slightest of movements. Ellie tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, saying softly, “I’ll be right back, I’m just gonna get something to clean you up, okay?”

You nod in slight acknowledgement of her words, but your mind is still fuzzy, and the only thing that you’re really aware of right now is the sudden sleepiness that comes over you in a soft, comforting wave. You feel her stroke your hair once more before she rises from the bed, briefly pausing to look at how fucked out you are, stretched out across her bed, bare skin glistening with sweat that makes your hair stick to your forehead, eyes heavy and cheeks flushed.

“So pretty,” she breathes, before exiting.

She isn’t gone long, and when she returns your eyes are closed, head buried against a pillow. She kneels between your legs, hand reaching out to gently rub your back as you turn your head to look at her.

“Just need to clean you up, pretty,” she whispers, and you realize how sticky you are in between your legs.

“Okay,” you mumble, your voice sounding slightly hoarse, similar to the way it does when you first wake up in the morning. Were you really moaning that much?

You feel a warm, damp washcloth brushing against your inner thigh. It’s nice, soothing, but as Ellie moves towards the place in between your legs, you instinctively flinch, overstimulated and slightly sore.

A large hand splays out over your back gently. “I know, Honey, it’s okay, I've got you,” Ellie soothes.

She runs the cloth over your folds. “There we go, sweet girl, almost done.” Its brush against your clit makes you cry out, leg kicking out instinctively. Ellie shushes you gently, pressing chased, featherlight kisses against your spine, the curve of your hip, effectively distracting you while she finishes cleaning you up.

When she’s done, she throws the cloth to the side, coming to sit beside you. “Okay, Baby, I just need you to get up and go for a quick pee.” You turn your head to look at her in bewilderment, staring up at her with your eyebrows raised.

“Why?” You ask, confused. She chuckles softly at your expression.

“Because, nowadays there isn’t much to protect ourselves from any infections that we could pick up while doing this,” she gestures vaguely. “And this is the one thing that we can do to at least try to help prevent something from coming up,”

“Buuut Elliee, I don’t wanna get up,” you grumble, burying your face back into the pillow.

She sighs softly, “come on, it’ll be fast, and then we can get back into bed and cuddle for as long as you want.”

That idea is tempting, but she could just get into bed with you right now and cuddle. Plus, you want to know who gave her this information, because it sounds pretty fucking stupid to you.

“I don’t want to,” you grumble.

Ellie playfully hits you with a pillow. “Come on, Lazy Ass,” she’s guiding you to sit up now, in spite of how much you’re resisting, because the bed is so warm and soft.

“Besides,” she reasons, “we both go out on patrol in three days, and I am not dealing with you having to dismount your horse every five minutes because you got a urinary tract infection and now you need to pee every time we hit a bump on the path.”

You dramatically sigh in defeat. “Okay, okay, I get it, Jesus Christ,” you roll your eyes in mock exasperation, but the smile pulling at your lips betrays your true feelings. “On one condition,” you say, folding your arms across your chest.

“What?” Ellie is fighting to restrain a smile, because you’re just too goddamn cute when you’re like this.

“You have to carry me there and back,” you say, reaching your arms up like a child who wants to be picked up.

She sighs, feigning annoyance, but she’s already positioning an arm beneath your knees. “You’re such a fucking brat,” she mutters against your hair as she cradles you against her chest.

You snuggle into her, smile growing wide as she moves towards the door, holding you in her arms. “Don’t lie, you love it.”

“Shut up ,” she says, hand sneaking around to give your ass an affectionate squeeze, making you gasp and giggle in surprise, instinctively kicking, nearly falling out of her arms in the process. But her hold is secure, arms tightening around you as your cheek presses against her shoulder.

“Don’t worry, babe, I got you.”

After gently setting you back in bed, once you’ve finally gone to the bathroom, grumbling the whole way there and back, Ellie went to get you a glass of water. She’s been gone for less than 30 seconds, and you already miss the feeling of her body, Strong and warm and steady, pressed against you. While she’s gone though, you entertain yourself by letting your eyes roam over your body, finding the evidence of her, left behind on your skin. You discover each new mark, each trace of her presence imprinted on you with the anticipation and joy of a child finding Easter eggs.

Your hand runs over your inner thigh, Lips pulling into a smile as you take in the sight of the finger shaped bruises that she left from where she gripped onto you so tightly. The site makes a warm, tingling feeling settle in your stomach.

You don’t hear her approach from behind you, and she must not see the expression on your face.

“Did I hurt you? Was it, was it too much?”

You turn, eyebrows raised and already shaking your head with vehemence, to find her watching you, biting her lip, concerned frown on her face.

“What, no, no, Ells, it’s just,” you avert your eyes, the blush creeping onto your face is mortifying, and in spite of everything you too just did, and how you had expected talking about things like this would be easier now, it’s still hard to admit it out loud.

She catches your chin in her hand, gently redirecting your eyes back up to meet hers. Seeing her so close to you, you don’t have to look hard to see the anxieties, trying to be contained and hidden, but dancing behind her eyes nonetheless.

You feel your heart clench. She’s opened up to you about her past on a few occasions, but when she has, it was easy to sense how fearful she was of her own inclinations towards violence, regardless of how necessary and imperative it might have been for her survival. She’s like a fire, impulsive and easy to set off, her flames all-consuming without a second thought. But after, even now, even when all this is small bruises marking your skin in the heated passion of lust, that will fade and be gone within a few days, she’ll still twist herself into knots, thinking and overthinking until she’s convinced herself that she’s ruined you.

“Please, Babe, tell me the truth,” her voice is soft, barely a whisper, but you hate the way that there’s a slight tremble in it, so uncharacteristic of Ellie. It breaks what’s left of your embarrassment, and the words fall from your lips without hesitation now.

“It wasn’t too much. It’s just, I-I liked it...the marks... I think it’s kind of hot.”

You wonder, in the back of your mind, if she can feel the way your cheek heats beneath her hand, resting against it ever so lightly. Her breath comes out in a soft, surprised laugh, and you’re relieved to see the concerned edges fade from her expression, a smirk instead overtaking her lips. “

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she whispers, fingers coming to trace over the scattered marks, littered across your neck and collarbone.

“You’re cold,” she observes, hands running up and down your arms, goosebumps beginning to form there. You hadn’t even noticed that you had begun to shiver.

When she crawls into bed behind you, wrapping her arms around you, Holding you against her, her warmth settles into your bones, running through you like melted chocolate. She brings the glass of water to your lips, insisting that you drink, and refusing to back down, in spite of your protests that you’ll need to get up to go pee in the middle of the night and does she realize how annoying that is?

She does, but she still coaxes you to drink half the glass.

You hold the glass up to her, pouting slightly. “Now you drink some, I feel like you should, too, because you were doing a lot of work, you know, with your mouth,” you say suggestively.

“Oh my God, shut up,” she groans. She gives you a playful shove that nearly makes the glass tumble from your hand. But she has quick reflexes, and her hand is steady against yours as she gently grabs your wrist, preventing the spill.

“Careful, Hun,” she cautions, plucking the glass out of your hand easily. “If only to appease you,” she sighs dramatically, before tipping it back and draining the glass.

The inevitable crash that you hadn’t, but probably should’ve, anticipated hits you all at once. It starts with a sigh that quickly turns into a yawn that seems to take all of your energy with it. You move to shrug your shoulders, brush it off like it’s nothing, because honestly, it’s only just starting to get dark outside, you can’t go to sleep right now, it’s just too early.

Your bones feel oddly heavy, sore in a way that shouldn’t surprise you, but it does. Adrenaline, and passion have temporarily blinded you to trivial things, like being a human and having a body that can get physically exhausted, especially after trying so many new things at once. You wince because fuck, you hadn’t realized how tense you had been holding yourself today until now, and the consequences are quickly setting in.

She’s watching you, observing you closely as she always does. She doesn’t say a word, but she intuitively understands.

She brushes your hair off to one side, and you shiver as your bare neck and shoulders are exposed to her. Warm hands settle over your shoulders, there’s a gentle squeeze, an unspoken question, an offering. The way your head falls forward, the low, contented noise that falls from your lips is all the ascent that she needs.

Her thumbs gingerly press into the tense muscles beneath them. She hums sympathetically, feeling how tender you are beneath her. She keeps her movements slow and precise as she presses her thumbs against you, applying a slight pressure, running them over the backs of your shoulders, gently encouraging the tension to release. She’s ceaselessly patient, only continuing her path upward when she can feel your muscles relax, giving into her ministrations.

She continues to massage across your shoulders and your upper back, seeming to find and undo tension in places that you didn’t even realize you were carrying. It makes you sleepy, the gentle caress of her hands gliding over your skin, paired with the firm press of her knuckles, exactly where you need it.

One of her hands slowly runs up the back of your neck, gently cupping you at the base of your skull. Her fingers smooth over your temples, stress easing away as your eyes flutter shut. Her other hand continues to press and massage in between your shoulder blades, firm and insistent as she smooths her thumbs over the tight knot that’s gathered there, with patient persistence, making it unravel at her touch, and forcing the tension to leave your body.

“Relax, Pretty Girl, I’m not going anywhere,” her voice is a low rumble against your ear.

Her lips brush over one of the bruises she’s left on the side of your neck, and suddenly, it’s like all the tension bleeds out of you, draining so quickly that you don’t have time to catch yourself.

She laughs softly as you try to contain the yawn that tears through you as she eases you back towards the pillows. She wraps a soft blanket around both of you, covering your bodies and making sure you’re tucked in securely.

She settles in behind you, warm, bare skin pressing against yours as she curls herself around you. A strong arm wraps around your waist, gently tugging you close to her as her leg hooks over yours.

You’re barely awake, only aware enough to snuggle into her, saying sleepily, “if this is the treatment I’m going to get after one swimming lesson, what are you gonna do when I’ve mastered it?”

There’s a soft chuckle, low against your ear as she whispers, “don’t worry about that, pretty girl, I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough.”

She kisses the top of your head, lingering for a moment as she adoringly watches your eyes flutter. You sigh with contentment, letting a sleepy smile graze over your lips. Maybe she doesn’t realize what she’s doing, maybe she isn’t even aware…but, in this moment, you’re surrounded by her.

Her safety.

Her warmth .

Her unconditional and unwavering love is curled around your heart as closely as she’s curled herself around you. She’s here, she’s safety, she’s love,and right now, she is all that you could ever want.

this was actually my first attempt at writing smut, and in spite of how nervous I am to share it, I’m actually really happy with how it turned out. So if you enjoyed it, please let me know, notes, comments, and re-blogs are so appreciated. Thank you so much for reading

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fluff #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us smut #the last of us #The last of us part

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loliwrites · 2 months

Text

V. Dedication | Edelweiss

pairing: joel miller x f!reader rating: explicit, 18+, minors dni warnings/tags: jackson era!joel, sharpshooter!reader, enemies to lovers [ish], age difference [joel is mid 50s, reader is early to mid 30s], joel lives forever fight me, canon compliant violence, infected and terrible humans present, death and murder, blood, groping under the guise of a pat down, big angry joel, reader gets thoroughly beat up [happens off-screen], terms of endearment [babygirl, sweet girl], female reader, joel is able to carry reader, reader has hair long enough to brush back, no other physical descriptions, protective!joel, no use of y/n. word count: 6.0k series masterlist a/n: the penultimate part of this series! i’ve had so much fun writing it and i hope you all have enjoyed

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

Holding onto your horse’s reins, your eyes bounced back and forth between the arguing Miller brothers. They were in a spat over something you believed to be ridiculous. A quarrel over you.

“It’s just one day. It’ll be fine,”

“If she’s goin’ out on patrol, I’m her partner. End of story,”

“We got word of a bloater in Teton County and a pack of stalkers on Elk Creek trail. Do you really want her to go up against a bloater?”

“I can go with her to clear the stalkers,”

“No, you can’t, ‘cause I ain’t gonna fight a bloater with Jesse.” Tommy paused and turned his head toward the young man who stood next to you with his own horse, “no offense.”

Jesse was nice enough. Competent. A good shot and tough. All around a good patrol partner. You nudged his shoulder and tilted your head to the side to lead him away. No use wasting daylight listening to Joel and Tommy bicker like an old married couple.

Up on your horse, sliding your rifle into the scabbard at the side, you started to mentally prepare for the upcoming fight you were about to take part in. Until today, you’d never been on patrol without Joel. There wouldn’t be the shorthand of routine; of knowing what his next move would be. About his strengths and weaknesses. For all intents and purposes, you were going in blind with Jesse. Left to nothing but prayer that he was good enough to not get either of you in hot water. Regardless, there was no point in dwelling on it. You were going out into the great wilderness with Jesse. Case closed.

That is until your horse came to an abrupt stop, let out a startled whinny, and backpedaled. Below, just in front of you, Joel was there. Hands pressed to the horse’s neck, halting the animal’s forward advance, “Joel, move.”

“Just hold on a second ‘til we figure–”

“There’s nothing to figure out,” you shot him your most sympathetic smile. Life was dangerous these days. You weren’t about to hold his concern against him, even if it was a little misplaced. “I’m going with Jesse and you’re going with Tommy, and I’ll see you when you get back. ‘Sides, I should be more concerned about you,”

He inhaled deeply and came around to the side of the horse. His hand drifted up to your knee and cocked his head back to look up at you sitting tall in the saddle. “Be careful, alright?”

“You too, Miller,” you leaned over, practically folding yourself in half to be able to reach his lips for a kiss. Perhaps it was a little foolish for how unafraid you felt. Maybe a little fear would do you good.

Once upright again, you clicked your teeth and dug your heels into the horse’s sides, urging forward out of the gates of Jackson. Out there for the first time in months without Joel. In fact your partner for the day couldn’t be more different than Joel. Youthful, thin, never knew a life without the cordyceps outbreak. It was the only world he knew and he had learned to excel in it. He had to. Survival depended on it. It was partly the reason that fear hadn’t entered the equation. Jesse had gone on plenty of patrols and he’d come back from every one of them. Today would be no different. Even if you did find it strange that he preferred to keep a shotgun on him instead of a rifle. Anytime you’d had to use a shotgun meant you were within a handful of yards away from the target.

Plus it would give you a chance to extend your roots. Being out on patrol with Joel five or six times a week left very little time for you to feel like you wanted to do much of anything other than sleep and lounge around. Didn’t want to socialize at the Tipsy Bison, or make your nights longer going to the movies. You wanted to get sufficiently fucked and then pass out so you could do the whole thing over again in the morning. Despite not having had much of a chance to be friendly, Jesse proved to be a better conversationalist than Joel had been on the first day out. He asked about how you were adjusting to your first couple seasons in Jackson. Naturally you asked where he’d found the edelweiss (in the woods off of the ski lodge, not far from where you were on your first patrol with Joel).

“How’s it going with him?”

Your eyes darted over in Jesse’s direction. “It’s good. He’s… reliable on patrol. Good at what he does,”

“No, I mean…” Jesse trailed off and adjusted himself in the saddle. Nearing Elk Creek, you knew there was a finite amount of time left to talk before you’d be trained in on eliminating the stalkers that had been seen. “Ellie’s mentioned stuff to Dina and I. And that kiss,”

You nodded slowly and returned your gaze straight ahead, nearing the edge of the woods. Though they weren’t exactly on a talking basis, you figured Ellie was observant enough to have gathered your presence at the house or Joel’s absence because he was at yours most nights. That was another thing you remembered about being a teenage girl. Gossip.

“Been a long time since I was part of a community this normal. Like before. Joel’s really helped me assimilate. Helped me feel useful here. I–”

A twig snapped off in the distance. Something with weight to it. Eyes widened, ears straining. You and Jesse looked in every imaginable direction and yet saw nothing out of the ordinary. Just trees and trees and trees. Swallowing, you looked down at the saddle horn, trying to focus on all the sounds of nature around you, for anything that seemed out of place.

“Stalkers?” Jesse whispered. His head was still whipping around, trying to locate something. Anything.

You lifted your head again and shook it, “we woulda’ heard something else by now.”

“Maybe just an animal?”

Nodding, you really hoped he was right and yet knew he wasn’t. You were being watched and supposed the only reason you hadn’t been shot at yet was that you were out of range and they didn’t want to waste their bullets. Tugging on the reins, you got your horse to take a couple steps backward, “follow me. Real slow,”

But no sooner than you whipped around in the opposite direction, prepared to regroup with Jesse and come in from a different angle to get the upper hand on what you assumed were raiders of some sort, a shrieking started from your new direction. You glanced over at Jesse, “those are the stalkers.”

“Any chance the stalkers and the people hiding sort themselves out?”

That got a laugh out of you. God that would’ve been great if they could. “Probably not,” you glanced back over your shoulder to see if you were being snuck up on. “Go back to Jackson and bring a couple more people. We’re gonna need ‘em,”

“I can’t leave you here alone,”

“Go,” your tone was matter of fact and left absolutely nothing to be confused. He hesitated, fear in his eyes – but not for himself. For you. You pulled your rifle out of the scabbard and outstretched it in his direction. “Gimme your shotgun,” but Jesse wouldn’t reach for it. Just shook his head, almost paralyzed, so you all but forced it into his hands, “take mine back to town.”

It took a little convincing. A few angry glares and frustrated sighs before you swapped guns and he trotted out of the woods. Truth was, if things ended up going sideways, you wanted your gun safe in Jackson and not in the hands of some halfwit bandit. Another problem was the half ton beast you were currently atop. There wasn’t a real way to be stealthy while remaining on it. It’d be a dead giveaway of your position. Putting you high up on a platter for picking off.

That was how you found yourself in a tree. A literal tree with your horse tethered to a different tree twenty or so yards off. Nestled up high in the branches with a knife in one pocket, a handgun in your waistband and the shotgun precariously wedged between two limbs. In a perfect world, you would’ve positioned yourself some place where you had a vantage point to watch the other humans who were undoubtedly around. As stupid as they might be, they did have a functional brain not overrun by a fungus. It would’ve been nice to be able to keep an eye on their movement. If only you had known where they were.

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

Joel stared straight ahead, choosing not to give Tommy more attention than was necessary. He was still stewing in his saddle over the thought of you out there with Jesse. And Tommy was no fool. He could tell his brother was fuming. Could tell he was one bit of bad news away from blowing his lid. Unfortunately he was going to have to deliver some.

“I don’t exactly know what we’re up against,” Tommy admitted, squinting his eyes, looking off into the sun. Anything to not have to look Joel in the eye.

“No one saw anything else with the bloater? More ‘an likely a handful of clickers,”

“No one saw the bloater.”

Joel slowly turned his head in Tommy’s direction. An icy glare and pure disdain on his face. Seeing red didn’t begin to describe it. He yanked on his reins until his horse came to a stop.

“I said we got word of a bloater. We’re checkin’ it out,”

“Tommy,”

“All the other times we got word of one, there was one. I’m sure it’ll be there,”

“You better hope there’s one there,” Joel clicked his teeth and got his horse moving again. “You better hope there’s a stupid amount of clickers with it.”

Tommy shook his head, “she’s fine, Joel. Horse’ll outrun the stalkers. She could be a hundred yards from ‘em and pick ‘em off,”

“S’not the infected that worry me,” Joel glanced in Tommy’s direction again, this time catching his gaze. “Elk Creek is like fuckin’ Route 66 for raiders. They’re gonna go up against people. It’s warmin’ up, they’ll be on the move. Stickin’ close to the river. I’ve seen her shoot down clickers like it was child’s play. It was never the stalkers I was worried about,”

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

You hit the ground, back first, with a heavy thud. The air, knocked out of your lungs and came from your mouth with a pained grunt. That wasn’t the only pain though. Something else stung at your side and you figured one of the three fuckers standing above you had clipped you. It was the only reason you could come up with for why you’d so clumsily fallen out of the tree. It hadn’t been the first tree you’d ever climbed, and it surely wouldn’t be the last. But now outside of trying to fill air back into your lungs, you had to figure out how you were going to get out of this. Alive, if possible. They already had you at an impossible disadvantage.

“Well, looky here,” one of the men smiled down at you. There was a small bit of relief to find you didn’t recognize any of them. “Shook a tree and a girl fell out,”

They all laughed. Unnerving considering none of them seemed to care that you were supine and they were all hunched over, towering over you.

“What’re you doin’ out here, girl?”

You forced a smile, thinking maybe if you just played it cool and unassuming they’d leave you be. But what was that thing about a girl rather being stuck in a forest with a bear over a man? “Just hangin’ around,”

They laughed again; this time at your shot at a joke. But it was short lived before one pulled a revolver out from behind his back and cocked it, pointed down at your face. Not much of a chance now. The only upper hand you had was that you knew there were two stalkers a few handful of yards away from where you lay and hoped that these three big oafs over you didn’t know that. And rather unfortunately, the shotgun was out of reach – not that these guys would let you make any moves without their permission.

“Get up. Slow,” the one with the gun wiggled it around as if that would be the thing that got you moving.

All you could do was play it smart. Turning onto your side, you kept your eyes locked on the barrel of the gun as you hoisted yourself off the ground. Back on your feet, you flicked your hands beneath the hem of your jacket. It looked natural but it was a subtle way to make sure it hadn’t gotten hung up on the handgun in your waistband. If these guys had any sense, they’d pat you down. That was when you’d make your getaway. You figured it could give you a few steps head start to create some space.

After more than two decades of this, these guys were well-seasoned to survival, and search you they did. The one with the gun lowered it so his buddy could press on your shoulder and spin you around; away from them. His hands then drifted down your sides, though it felt more like groping than searching for any weapons. That’s for the best. His fingers reached down to your ass and lingered longer than necessary to do the job and that was probably as good of a time as any to start trying to get away from them.

You coyly reached into the inner pocket of your jacket and slowly pulled out the pocket knife in it. It wasn’t as flashy as a switchblade, and not as easy to open. You’d have to complete a rather exaggerated flick of the wrist to get it unsheathed. That was going to take away from your getaway time – if there was any. But no time like the present, you flicked your knife-wielding hand out to the side and angled it behind your back. With one swift motion, sunk the blade into the side of the man patting you down. He let out the most wretched scream you could imagine, with the expletive, “fuckin’ bitch”, but that was all you heard before your pulse pounded in your ears and you took off running. They were no doubt going to be quick on your heels. Truly a toss up whether it’d be all three or just two.

Swerving left and diving beneath a thicket, you were glad (and lucky) that the thorns had caught on your clothing and stopped you short of coming out on the other side, where it appeared the stalkers were on the move in your direction. And more importantly the direction of the men, whose voices now started to ring in your ears again, searching for you. Maybe Jesse was right. Maybe those guys and the stalkers would sort themselves out. And following that train of thought… where the fuck was Jesse?

He should’ve been back by now. Or close to it. He should’ve–

All thought was cut off by adrenaline. By the feeling of a thick hand wrapping around your ankle and squeezing tight. By the knowledge that that hand was about to do unspeakable harm to you and it all started with the hand yanking you backward. Out of the brush and into the clearing of three large men and however many stalkers came to join in the fun.

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

Joel stomped out of the armory with Tommy right on his heels. If the weather had been slightly colder, surely there would’ve been steam coming out of his ears. Pissed didn’t even begin to cover how he was feeling right now. As much as he wanted to pin all that anger on Tommy, he couldn’t help that he felt a great deal of anger at himself; for not having put up more of a steadfast disapproval and fight over you going out there with anyone other than him.

“They should’ve been back by now,” he growled in Tommy’s direction, teeth practically gnashing together. Looking skyward, the sun was nearing the horizon. If it got as far as the moon peeking into the sky, he knew you’d never make it through the night.

Tommy clapped his hand down on his brother’s shoulder, doing his best to be reassuring, “you know Jesse plays it smart. If they came up on something he didn’t think they could handle, they would’ve come back.”

“He did come back,”

Joel’s head whipped around toward a voice he never thought he’d hear again. Ellie. Standing at the entrance of the stables with a freshly tacked horse by her side. They’d been through so much together. He’d seen her through terrifying experiences, but at this moment, she’d never looked so worried.

“But he didn’t come back with her,”

“Goddamnit, Tommy!” Joel screamed, surely loud enough for everyone left in the community to hear.

He neared her, and Ellie held her hand out, offering the reins to him, “grabbed Dina and Astrid and went out again.”

“Joel, quit.” Tommy pushed on his brother’s chest, trying to get him away from the horse. “Even if she is still alive, you ain’t gonna be any use to her once night falls,”

But Joel shoved harder, sending Tommy stumbling a couple steps backward. “If it were Maria, I wouldn’t be stopping you.” He lifted his foot into the stirrup and hoisted himself up in the saddle, “Ellie get me a gun.”

She was in the armory before Joel even got done speaking. His rage, however, diffused slightly at the sound of the guards up on the wall screaming about incoming riders. Joel dared himself to hope you were safe with them. Allowed himself the optimism to believe you were there. But when the gates opened, all that wishful thinking evaporated. Four horses came in with three humans. Jesse, Astrid, and Dina. He recognized the fourth horse to be the one you’d left on this morning.

Joel yanked on the reins to keep his horse steady despite the anxiety caused by the energy of the newcomers, “Ellie!” Then he shot the angriest of glares at Jesse, “where is she?”

“I didn’t want to. She made me leave her and come back for help…”

“Where is she?!” His voice thundered, sending some people not even in the conversation cowering.

“I don’t know! Wasn’t where I left her. Just her horse, a couple dead stalkers, and two raiders,”

A nudge at his shin and Joel glanced down where Ellie pressed a rifle at his leg for his attention. Your rifle. God, how he wanted to turn it on Jesse in this moment. He scooped up the rifle from Ellie and slid it into the scabbard at his side. There wasn’t time to let anyone else have another word. He had to get out there. Night was coming far too quickly.

“Let me go with you. Help you find her,” Jesse insisted.

“Why?” Joel snarled, “‘cause you did such a good job last time?”

Horse spurred and running out past the gates, Joel was of one track mind. The whole stretch of creek trails went on for nearly seven miles. If you were along any length of it, hidden back in the brush, it could take him a whole day with good daylight to find you. As it stood, he’d have about a half hour by the time he arrived at the trail before pure darkness overtook the landscape.

“Incoming from the east!”

Joel’s head swiveled and followed the direction from the call from the guard on the wall. One look and he knew it had to be you. About a quarter mile out, you were just a little blip in his vision. But it was you. It had to be you. He wouldn’t accept any reality other than that.

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

There was a pounding in your head that felt like an ice pick was sticking out of your skull. Breathing had become a little more laborious, not sure if your nose was just abysmally bruised or if it was broken. The taste of blood had become less prominent, but based on the color of the saliva you spit at the ground, it was only that you’d gotten used to it, not that it had stopped. Your side hadn’t stopped bleeding either. The realization that you’d been hit came on the long walk back to Jackson when your shirt began to stick uncomfortably to your skin. It was then you noticed a red patch seeped through. A graze of a bullet wound.

Every part of your physical body wanted you to stop. Wanted you to lay down and give up. Give it a rest. But there was a flicker in the back of your mind. No. Keep going. Get back home. Get back to him. If you were going to see the last of life, you were going to have Joel in it. You would move to the other realm with the image of him forever burned into your soul’s memory. So you put one foot in front of the other and repeated that over and over again until the walls of Jackson loomed close.

You didn’t recognize it as his horse but you knew it had to be Joel in the distance. No other person would’ve risked their life to come search for you in the darkness. Only when he was near enough that you could correctly identify it as him, did you allow yourself out of the self-preservation phase, and into the emotional one. The tired one. Your chest started to bounce up and down, taking in ragged breaths while quiet sobs overtook your body. Tears came easily. Too easily. You hadn’t been lying when you’d told him most of your nightmares had become about losing home. Shit. Losing him. And today had been a hell of a close call.

He was close now. Not close enough for your aching voice to reach him, but close enough for him to swing himself off his horse before it had even come to a full stop. He ran up to you, never missing a beat or stride.

“Joel,” you wept, dropping to your knees. Your feet could take you no further. Luckily they wouldn’t need to.

He skidded up in front of you, landing on his knees, too. “I got you, babygirl. I got you,” he so badly wanted to touch you – to hold you – but you looked like you’d just clawed your way out of the seven levels of hell, and no spot on your body seemed safe to embrace. “Let me get you home,”

“I hurt everywhere,” you sobbed a little harder, bowing your head as crying didn’t exactly make your ribs feel any better.

His eyes scanned your body, “I know, babygirl. I’m sorry. What hurts the most?” Finally his gaze rested upon your chest, where your hand pressed against the center of it. “Chest?”

“Heart,” you whimpered, trying to stifle your tears.

“Then we gotta get you to the doctor quick,”

You shook your head. “No,” you sniffled but another round of tears sprung loose. Having to admit this to him… “Didn’t think I was gonna make it,” you swallowed and choked on your breath, “scared.”

Words failed him. What could he say? Nothing particularly coherent came to mind, perhaps because he’d been just as scared. Instead, Joel leaned forward and pressed his lips to your forehead. He cradled your skull as delicately as he could, and furrowed his eyebrows to press his lips to you a little harder. It was all he could do for fear of causing you even more pain. But when he pulled away, he helped you up to your feet; much to your dismay. You couldn’t just stay out there all night.

Joel’s arm ghosted around your back, enveloping you closer to him, trying to usher you toward the gates though your feet wouldn’t move. “Think you can get up on the horse?”

The shake of your head was immediate and paired with a distressed hum. Climb up on a horse? Absolutely not. So Joel scooped you up with one arm behind your back and the other beneath your knees. A wince assaulted your expression when he lifted you – it all being a bit too much pressure on all of the sore parts. He apologized but there wasn’t much he could do to make it better. He had to get you home.

“Wait, my gun,” you looked over Joel’s shoulder and back at the horse he’d come in on, where your rifle was still holstered.

“Look,” Joel jostled your legs to get a better hold on you, “Jesse’s comin’ out for the horse. He’ll get it,”

You turned your head and did indeed see Jesse running out in your direction. You wondered if he’d been just as scared as you – arriving back to where he’d left you, only to find it abandoned. He must’ve been pretty startled not being able to find you; thinking he’d lost a patrol partner. Knowing he’d have to go back to Jackson and admit it. It surely couldn’t have been an easy thing to do – not with Joel staring him down with something evil. And Joel passed by him so quickly, you only had a passing glance at each other. Horror written all over Jesse’s face. You figured you looked as bad as you felt.

Thankfully Joel got you back inside the gated perimeter of the community quickly. Back into this safe haven where the terror you’d faced earlier in the day could start to slip away. Maybe it would never leave completely – none of it ever did – but within the walls of Jackson, it would be easier to forget.

As he walked down the main street with you in his arms, you were only half aware of all the people that had gathered around. Staring. Unsure if the feat was the state of your being or the fact that Joel, a man on the back half of his life, was carrying a woman in his arms like it was just as natural as breathing. The vague awareness surrounding you, however, wasn’t due to any injury sustained. It was because your eyes were locked on Joel’s, listening to every little word he whispered.

“You’re safe now, sweet girl. You’ll be alright. Gonna get ya’ fixed up and then never let you outta my fuckin’ sight again,”

A soft smile flashed over your face. It was all you could muster. That idea seemed absurd. That you’d spend the rest of your life under Joel’s watchful eye. And yet… it sounded pretty good. After all the time you’d spent feeling unsafe (for longer than you could remember), you could get a shot at turning that around.

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

Your pulse evened out sometime around the point Joel turned onto his street, very clearly taking you back to his home, where he’d be able to keep a watchful eye over you. By the time he was climbing the steps of his porch, you’d gained your breath back too. No more active tears fell from your eyes and you thought that if you could just rest for about a week straight, you’d get back to normal in no time.

But it seemed Ellie had picked one thing up from Joel – a flair for panic when someone he cared about was in trouble. Though her panic wasn’t directly for you, but for Joel. Surely it was evident to her that Joel had developed more than just a fondness for you. Even if she spent most of her time tucked away in the converted garage, there was no way she could’ve been immune to the knowledge that you spent most nights in Joel’s upstairs bedroom.

Joel twisted the knob on the front door with unforeseen ease given that you were also still in his arms. He kicked the door open and turned sideways to shuffle inside. And you were greeted by the scent first, noise second, and sight third, of Ellie in the kitchen. She stood hunched over the stove with a spoon in her hand, haphazardly – anxiously – pushing scrambled eggs around in a pan. Her head flicked around when Joel’s footsteps made way into the threshold of the room. She looked frazzled, scared. You weren’t sure if Joel knew it, but you did… knew that this was her running back to father. Were those not the eyes you looked at your own dad with when it all became too much?

“I–shit, fuck–” she snapped her hand away from the pan where her knuckles had fallen against the searing hot edge. Ellie looked back up at Joel with an unsure gaze, “I made eggs. It’s kind of all I know how to make, and I’m fuckin’ hungry, so I bet you’re…” her eyes danced over what you were sure were bruises forming on your face, “fuckin’ hungry…”

A smile twitched over your lips, nearly regretting it as all that did was send a new sharp pain up the side of your face. “Thanks, Ellie. Maybe I can eat upstairs?” You shifted to look up at Joel, hopeful he’d get you there sooner rather than later. Your entire body was beginning to throb, becoming keenly aware of all the places where Joel’s arms dug uncomfortably into your flesh.

“Mind fixin’ her a plate, Ellie?”

It was all a fluid moment in time. Ellie shaking her head that of course she wouldn’t mind, turning on her heels to make you a plate of food, and Joel climbing the stairs up to his bedroom. His mattress, with all its bumps and lumps, seemed pretty good right now. Seemed like it’d feel like one of those hotels you remembered staying in while on vacation as a kid.

He was gentle in laying you down, foregoing shuffling around the sheets and instead opting to set you on top of them. To allow for rest to begin as soon as possible. Joel sat on the edge of the bed beside you and brushed your hair away from your face. You recognized the fear scattered on his features.

“How you feeling?”

You forced a smile, eyes shut. “Like I got the shit kicked out of me,”

He pursed his lips together and set his hand on your arm. It looked like the only place to touch that wouldn’t be painful. “Let me grab you food,”

Joel went to stand but now you were the one grabbing onto his arm. Your fingers didn’t have the strength or energy to grip onto him too tightly, but even the suggestion of your hand there had him pausing. “Eat with her first. She’s running back because she’s scared for you.”

“I wanna get you settled. You’re still bleeding–”

“I want to sleep,” your eyes drifted shut, heavy now from bruises and exhaustion. “This is her olive branch. So go eat,”

With eyes closed, you felt the mattress beside you dip lower beneath Joel’s weight. And moments after, you felt his lips on yours. Just a whisper of a kiss and without any more fight, Joel got up from the bed and exited the room. You could hear his feet pad down the stairs and his deep voice call out to Ellie in the kitchen. There was only slight recognition of their conversation downstairs before you slipped off to sleep, longing for something restful and yet knowing that you’d soon be plagued with another nightmare of losing home. Of something that almost became far too real today. Despite being taken by sleep, you hoped this truly was the olive branch from Ellie you perceived it to be. Lord knows Joel needed it to be.

⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾ ⌾

Passed out. Dead to the world in the most figurative of ways, you only roused when you felt fingers lifting your blood-soaked shirt. Your body had stiffened in sleep; muscles tightening up and clenching to dull the pain which only intensified it now in consciousness. When your eyes opened, you saw Joel standing over you, inspecting the wound on your side.

“Sorry,” he mumbled in the dark. You weren’t sure how long you’d been out. Long enough for the most noticeable thing in your body to be hunger. “Looks like it’s stopped bleeding,”

“Just a scratch,” you smiled weakly. It wasn’t lost on either of you that you were now trying to diminish the damage to keep from any further emotional pain on his end.

“Yeah,” he falsely agreed. He lowered your shirt and sat on the edge of the bed again, this time reaching for the nightstand where you noticed a small plate of food. “Brought you some eggs and toast. Feel up to eating?”

Then as best you could, you pressed your arms on the bed beneath you and tried to wriggle your way up to rest your back on the headboard. It was slow going; any quick movement sent you grimacing in pain. And Joel, waiting patiently, watched you find a comfortable spot before he stabbed at the scrambled eggs and brought the forkful up to your mouth. You eyed him keenly, wondering if he was getting a rise out of this “taking care of you” bit. If there was a part of him that liked knowing you needed him. To be honest, there was a part of you that certainly did.

He pulled the fork out of your mouth gently and looked back down at the plate to get another bite prepped. “Y’know you scared the hell out of me today,”

You nodded and opened your mouth again to take the second bite. Realizing he was content to feed you to your heart’s desire, you sunk lower into a more slumped, relaxed position.

“Not knowin’ where you were or what had happened.” He scooped up another bite of eggs for you, “m’not sure I would’ve found you if you hadn’t nearly walked yourself all the way back.” A relieved grin stretched across his face. “How the hell did you walk yourself back after all this,” he nodded at your wounds. Sure, he’d walked himself through some pretty terrible things, but how easy it would’ve been to just lay down and give up.

“Had to get back to you,” you smiled in return. And after swallowing the next bite of eggs, you dodged the fork and picked up the piece of toast. “Make sure you weren’t bein’ an asshole to Tommy,”

A hoarse laugh shook his body, “not sure you got back soon enough for that.”

“Figured,”

Joel let you finish eating in peace; happy to watch you take slow bites. It was almost like he was trying to commit you to memory now. Every line on your face. Every curve of your body. Trying to remember it without all the marks and injuries that now colored you. They might leave scars in their place but he’d do his best to forget those as well – to not let the past change the way he saw you now – as perfect.

When sleep overtook, it was the kind you’d hadn’t experienced since early childhood. The kind where you were just out. The kind that wasn’t riddled with any fear or worries. Just eyes closed, breathing even and deep… safe. A sleep, while all-encompassing, still rendered you aware of the fact that at some point throughout the night, Joel had crawled into bed next to you. He let out a deep exhale as he turned in and scooted himself closer, up against you with the slightest of pressure. Tonight, instead of flinging his arm around you entirely, and pulling you in tighter to his chest, he settled for the gentle placement of his hand on your hip. Ever present, ever ready to spring up at the tiniest shift of movement to be there to provide whatever you may need. For every bit of dedicated you clearly were to him, it was entirely reciprocated.

#joel miller x reader #jackson!joel #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller angst #joel miller x female reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fluff #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #ppcu fanfiction #edelweiss fic

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beforeimdeceased · 10 months

Note

I’m actually in LOVE with crybaby!!! It’s so good😫😫😫

CRYBABY! - (E.W) PT8, FINAL PART!

pairing: mean/cruel ellie x sensitive/emotional reader.

synopsis: you weren’t you anymore.

a/n: it’s so over…thank you all for the love you’ve shown crybaby! i’m happy to say i’m actually proud of something i’ve written, for the first time in a long time. thank you for reading and for all your comments and support! tags: @skylerwhitwyo

you’re a crisis of my faith

masterlist.

you weren’t you anymore. you weren’t you when abby opened the door to find you and ellie tangled together in an illicit affair. you weren’t you when you looked into her eyes, saw the pain and agony, and asked her if she didn’t mind closing the door. that you were busy doing something.

you weren’t you because you didn’t chase after her when she left. because you didn’t apologize, you just went on as you were. forgetting. you went on forgetting all the way home in her car. melting the pain away, filling the silence with meaningless conversation she was too upset to engage in. knuckles white while she gripped the steering wheel.

you’re not yourself.

at first it was fun to let go with ellie. she liked that you didn’t care anymore. that you could joke around with each other. that she didn’t have to walk on eggshells with you. or atleast, that’s how she felt. until she was missing you on tour one night.

alone in a bar, waiting for dina and jesse, she came across someone that looked as doe eyed as you used to be. her heart started to sink when she skipped over.

another bar, years ago. when you’d caught her after another show in which she’d made a mistake. you came to her with flowers from a fan and a note. “hey ellie this is—“

“fuck i’m such a fucking idiot.” she blurts. you sigh, anticipating a string of curses and insults, but she sees the note and the flowers. “what’s this?”

“it’s a note from a fan, she didn’t get to catch you before you ran off.”

she holds her hand out and you place the piece of paper in it. standing as you hold the flowers. watching her read it.

this is the first concert i’ve been to in a while and i just want to say thank you so much. i struggle a lot with social anxiety and big crowds and stuff but i really wanted to see you. i’ve been a fan since i found your guy’s cover of take on me on soundcloud and it struck a deep chord within me. you’re amazing, you know that, but i just wanted to tell you that. just in case you forget.

— your biggest fan

you hand her the flowers, pretending not to see her tears. pretending not to feel teary eyed yourself. because you’d never seen her sad cry. you’ve seen her angry cry plenty of times, but never fix her face into a frown and let the strains of tears overflow. you look away as sadness fills the space between you.

“you’re ellie williams right?” the doe eyed girl brings her back to the present. she nods. “in the flesh.”

it only took a couple drinks and ellie’s charms to lure her away from the crowded area. nestled in the corner of the bar, ellie latching her mouth onto the girls neck. imagining your body in place of hers. pretending her moans were yours. wishing that she was you.

she’d felt dirty after she finished, a feeling that was entirely new to her. you both weren’t obligated to only be with each other after that night in the bathroom, but she couldn’t get you out of her mind. maybe it was because the girl reminded her of you? then she remembered that you weren’t like that anymore. that you had completely changed.

when tour ended and the group returned home, you took it upon yourself to throw a party. the old you would have gone for a small get together at your house, with the three of them and donuts, but the new you was leaning towards some club soirée.

you were excited to show everyone more of the new you. a new style to match your new personality. a new way of living to replace your old one. completely killing the girl you’d been before.

you met them at dina and jesse’s place, ensuring you’d be there the second they got off the tour bus. excitedly rushing over to give them a hug, and ellie an awkward handshake. they look you up and down, taking in your changed appearance with concern. “new clothes?” jesse speaks up.

“new me.” you shrug, helping them carry their bags up.

when everything is settled in, they all grab a seat on the couch. you slump into their loveseat, sighing. “so there’s this party...”

dina shakes her head. “no no absolutely not. i love you, but god we’re exhausted. no party tonight.”

“it’s tomorrow. it’s your welcome back party.” the corner of your mouth twitches. “i want to sleep for atleast a week.” dina huffs. “i need to go shower right now actually.” she gets up, placing a kiss on your forehead when she passes by. jesse does the same, following behind her.

you don’t take offense to it. this might’ve hurt you a little bit in the past, feeling stupid for planning a party when it’d make sense that they want to rest. now, you didn’t care. you could party by yourself. you could party with ellie.

you look over at her, and she looks like a wounded stray. like she’s guilty of something she didn’t do. you get up and join her in place of the lovebirds. a wide smile on your face. “are you gonna come to the party?”

she breathes. “maybe. i don’t know yet.”

it’s silent for a beat. you pull out your phone and she remembers the day she took it. the agony in your voice when you were asking for it back. the day she made you cry. she shakes away the thought.

“how about we play a game?”

the peace you were experiencing in the moment felt foreign. it’s been years since you had a chance to have quality time with ellie. without her ruining it, ofcourse. it was almost like those first few weeks back when you met. playing all the board games lodged in the bookshelf of jesse’s parent’s place. before him and dina had moved in together.

these were those very same games. monopoly, sorry, connect four, and more. you settled on connect floor, crisscrossing your legs on the floor. she joins you, getting comfortable.

“i’ll keep score!” you offer, going to your phone’s notes. before you can do much about it, you realize that it’s shutting off because the battery is low. you lodge it into your back pocket and shrug, grabbing an empty envelope off of the couples counter. “my phones dead, i’ll just write it.”

then you’re making a t chart, and ellie feels as if all the air is being kicked out of her lungs. your handwriting is the same as the one that was on that letter.

but that can’t be true, right? this is the same fan who’s been writing her for years. this is handwriting that’s been on signs held up at shows. the handwriting on a small cluster of loyal groupie’s handmade tshirts.

but surely she’d have noticed this before. you’d written in front of her before, right? memories were fuzzily being put back together in the moment. your unfiltered and unconditional love for her. your kindness that you’d extended even when she was mean to you. even when she was cruel.

even when you’d had enough of the tear filled nights and decided you needed time away. you still asked how ellie was, she could hear it on the other side of the fucking phone. when you were talking to dina and jesse. when you were communicating love through them to her.

you called all those rehab centers to get her help, that’s how jesse had found one so fast. you left her meds on the table for her the next morning, not dina. it was your voice telling her she’d had enough. it was you, being brave enough to take her verbal lashings because you knew if she didn’t take it out on you, she would take it out on herself.

it was you, it was always you. she was remembering now.

“ellie?”

you look away from the paper to find her crying. crying because the you that was always there, had slipped between her nimble fingers. had melted into the cracks of hatred. she was crying because she realized why she was feeling out of sorts. she hadn’t gotten a letter this week.

a letter from—well, you.

she wanted to yell at you. to scream at you. to call you stupid for staying around when you know how she is. she wanted to curse herself for getting you to let your guard down with a fake apology, and fucking it up all over again. for pushing you past your breaking point.

“i don’t wanna play anymore.” she felt disgusting. she felt like she was going to be sick. “ellie what’s the matter—“

she’s hyperventilating now, watching as you slowly slide towards her. extending your arms while you try to catch her in a hug. she thought back to the days she called you useless. called you pathetic. called you a crybaby.

you hold her, and it’s the first time she’s ever truly felt held. the first time she’s in your arms and she’s sober. the first time she’s in your arms and she feels sorry. truly, terribly sorry.

you pull her in closer to you, turning her onto her side so you can rub your thumb across her cheek. wiping some of her tears away. she begins to cry even harder, but you don’t push her away. even when your pants are soaked and snotty. you let her lay there, and cry into you.

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icequeenbae · 1 year

Text

Translucence (m) | Astro LDM

Pairing: Cha Eunwoo x Reader (Lee Dongmin x Reader)

A Jinjin cameo? hehe

Established Relationship, slice of life, fluff, PWP, smut

Warnings: glass bathroom you heard me lol, explicit content, unprotected sex, this is smut with minimal plot (it’s becoming my style), a sprinkle of voyeurism, maybe a noona kink, maybe Dongmin's splendid ass is mentioned more than once

Word Count: ~4.2k

Author’s Note: Heyyy~ Finally posting my first ASTRO fic! This has been waiting to be released for a while now, but the timing wasn’t working out… But now that it’s done, I hope that you enjoy this little story! Let me know what you think~ And a special thank you to the lovely @the-boy-meets-evil for looking over my story, I really loved your comments, Jess <3

Summary: It’s your first short vacation with Dongmin since you started dating, and you get a chance to stay at an extremely fancy hotel in Jeju. The ocean-view suite is perfect, yet there’s a small inconvenience… or a genius design?

Network tags: @superm-net @exo-writers-net @bbh-net @k-vanity @ksmutsociety

It was your first time taking a vacation together.

With the type of hectic schedule Dongmin had to maintain, you barely managed to book the hotel of your dreams for this weekend, which was actually your one-year anniversary. Two days was all you had, and you planned to enjoy them to the fullest, start to finish.

Which was why you’d surprised your boyfriend by appearing clad in a white sundress with a stylish wide brim hat to match. It was a simple feminine look, yet it set the mood from the start.

‘Wow, I’m suddenly looking forward to our flight…’ He smiled at you softly before murmuring, ‘You look beautiful.’

Avoiding his eyes timidly, you chewed on your lip to contain a silly grin. Dongmin took the handle of your suitcase to put it away in the trunk of the car.

‘Let’s get going, we have to be at the airport in thirty,’ Jinwoo’s voice startled you as the window on the driver’s side rolled down. ‘You’ll have a whole hour to exchange your lovey-dovey stares on the plane, children.’

‘Hyung…’ Dongmin mumbled in embarrassment, and you coughed, sliding into the backseat while your boyfriend’s palm hovered above your head protectively.

‘I’m older than you, Jinwoo-yah,’ you scolded, and he hummed in response.

‘Barely!’ He glanced in the rearview mirror, meeting your eyes, and added. ‘Noona.’

You shook your head in disapproval, and turned to Dongmin, who settled in the backseat with you and moved to buckle you up.

‘I can do it! Let’s not make Jinwoo cringe.’

‘Why would he cringe…’ Your boyfriend pouted, watching you tug at the seatbelt.

‘I’m fine unless you start the funny business,’ the leader announced nonchalantly from the front seat.

‘Have you ever caught us doing anything?’ You huffed, and the car was silent for a few long seconds. ‘Have you??’

‘Does hearing count?’ He asked, and your boyfriend’s eyes almost bulged out of his head.

‘Shut up,’ you laughed nervously, only half-assured that it was a joke.

‘It’s actually true. It was when we all stayed at the dorm for a sleepover. You rustle like mice,’ Jinwoo recalled.

‘What?? We weren’t doing anything fu-’

Dongmin’s hand suddenly squeezed your thigh, putting a stop to your protesting speech.

‘Please, just… change the subject, noona.’

Teasing you and Dongmin was Astro members’ favorite pastime, and you noticed from the very beginning. They simply loved making him a flustered mess. Not that you couldn’t relate – the face genius looked almost unbearably cute when embarrassed. You weren’t a stranger to teasing him yourself, just to get your fix of his adorable shy smile and his extensive nagging about how you never let him breathe.

In fact, he loved to nag. It was his way of showing affection.

‘Ah, noona… Your dress is so revealing,’ he kept whining while you were on the plane. ‘D’you know how active the sun is in Jeju? Did you apply the sunscreen thoroughly?’

‘Yes. But you can reapply it if you want an excuse to touch my chest,’ you murmured, making him flush red and lower his voice to a scandalized whisper.

‘That’s not what I meant-’

‘I’m sure it isn’t.’ You hummed, laying your head on his shoulder. ‘But I’d still let you.’

The flight from Seoul to Jeju Island was rather quick, about one hour in the air. And it seemed to be over even faster since you were too busy whispering, giggling like lovestruck teenagers, and ‘oh’-ing in excitement as you looked out the illuminator.

Going on a trip with your boyfriend was something you’d been dreaming of for months now, so your mood was through the roof from the moment you woke up. It kept gradually increasing while you were on your way to the dream destination, and reached its peak when Dongmin rented a car to drive the two of you to the hotel.

‘If anything is better than this view,’ you turned away from the window to look at your boyfriend’s relaxed form. ‘It’s probably this.’

‘What?’ He glanced at you, not catching your meaning.

‘You.’

He huffed, scolding you for being cheesy.

‘What, I’ve told you this before! You look most handsome either when you’re driving or when your hair gets wet.’

‘I shall try driving with wet hair someday. Will that make you explode?’

‘Is that your goal?’ You asked, tracing your index finger down the side of his neck, which made him squirm.

‘Stop it, you know I’m ticklish…’

‘You’re not ticklish, you’re sensitive.’ You corrected, running the pads of your fingers over his skin again to make him shudder. ‘So, who’s exploding now?’

He gave you a reproachful look, and you chuckled, pinching his cheek to annoy him further.

‘Why do you have to be so shameless, noona…’

‘Don’t you love that about me?’ You asked playfully.

‘I do,’ he was quick to admit. ‘I love everything about you.’

Caught off guard by his sudden confession, you fell silent. Dongmin didn’t say things like this often, he was a bit reserved about his feelings. You actually recalled that he’d only said ‘the three words’ twice in the span of your relationship. And on one of those occasions he was actually drunk, so… yeah. He was strangely tight-lipped about it for the romantic that he was.

But you’d learned to accept it. You wouldn’t push him to do something he didn’t want to or wasn’t ready to do. So, you just said nothing before your hotel was finally visible.

‘This is great, we can just drop everything and head out to the beach! I’m living for this weather,’ you said, clapping your hands in excitement.

Dongmin nodded in agreement.

As expected, the hotel was splendorous. You noticed that while your boyfriend was checking you in. Taking those few minutes to look around, you found yourself ogling the crystal-clear glass constructions that separated the lobby and the waiting area. The outer wall was also steel and glass, so you could enjoy the beautiful landscapes of Jeju even from there.

‘Let’s go,’ a low voice called, and you followed the tall figure to the elevator.

You really wanted to give him a back hug as he pressed the button, but decided to at least wait until you were on your floor.

Dongmin took your suitcase, which made you pout, unable to hold his hand.

‘I think it’s here,’ he guided you to the door and used the card to open it. ‘After you.’

And there went your plan to give him a back hug. Up in flames.

You sighed and stepped into the room.

‘Oh!’ You exclaimed, rushing to get rid of your outdoor shoes in favor of slippers. ‘Let’s check the view! Come on!’

Surprised by your eagerness, your boyfriend shook his footwear off as well, reaching out his hand to allow you to tug him towards the balcony.

‘Oh my god, this is even better than I expected!’ You squealed, almost jumping in excitement, and squeezed his palm. ‘My hands are itching to take pictures! Come on, lean on this railing.’

Knowing better than to argue with you, he did exactly as he was told, and posed for you.

‘Ah, so handsome,’ you kept repeating, while preserving this moment in the form of a photograph.

Dongmin lost his patience in about a minute, pulling you closer to his body.

‘Are you interested in the view or in spending time with me?’

‘I see you every other day, and it’s my first time in Jeju, of course I’m interested in the view!’ You exclaimed. ‘Especially when you’re making it even better.’

He allowed you to kiss away his pout, and held you close for a selfie.

‘No, my head looks too big like this!’

You jumped in place to reach the phone, because your partner refused to take likable pictures.

‘I got it, I got it,’ he assured you, angling it to make the two of you look disproportionate again.

When you pinched him angrily, he laughed in the cheekiest way possible, begging for mercy instantly.

At least then you’d managed to finally take presentable photos.

Leaving you to admire the ocean some more, Dongmin headed back inside to unpack your belongings. You needed to change into your swimsuits if you wanted to enjoy the rest of the day on the beach.

‘Uh- noona?’

‘Mhm?’

‘Did you… see that?’

His voice sounded confused, so you followed it back into the room.

‘See wha- Omo! Is this..?’

You turned to your boyfriend, who denied you eye contact.

‘Glass bathroom.’ He noted blankly, without showing what his actual feelings about it were.

Was he shy? Anxious? Excited? Uncomfortable? You couldn’t decipher his expression for the life of you.

‘Yeah,’ you agreed.

It was a simple yet exquisite design, no one could argue that it looked good. But the problem was that the bathroom here had no wall separating it from the main bedroom space. Which could only mean…

‘Well, I’m sure we’ll manage,’ you shrugged, walking past Dongmin to find your change of clothes. ‘Get your swimwear out while I change. And don’t peek!’

He grumbled under his breath and you snickered faintly. Damn, you were going to have to face the bathroom issue at some point today. And you should mentally prepare.

It wasn’t on your mind for long though.

As soon as you hit the beach… The beautiful clear sky, the warm sand under your bare feet, the lagoon blue water – all of it occupied your head and made you forget all of the possible inconveniences.

‘Don’t swim away,’ Dongmin nagged, stretching out his arms to reach you.

‘Why, scared of going in deep water?’ You teased him, splashing him lightly with your foot.

‘Noona,’ he sulked, and you allowed the waves to push you towards your boyfriend.

As soon as you were within his reach again, he pulled you closer to his body, not caring too much about the spectators.

‘What now, giant baby?’

‘Don’t call me that,’ Dongmin murmured, and you instantly knew he wanted a kiss.

‘There’s too many people, Min-ah,’ you responded, placing your palm on his chest, covered by the soaked white fabric of his tee.

‘Just once,’ he badgered, stepping closer to you.

Of course, his feet were still grounded where you were floating.

‘Why should I?’ You feigned a complaining tone, glancing at his plump lips.

‘Because.’

Dongmin’s hands seized you by the waist, and your forearms prickled with goosebumps.

Staying still while he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, you’d allowed him to steal this quick kiss before swimming away again.

You had literally spent all day in the water, taking short breaks to let your wrinkled skin get back to normal. And reapply sunscreen again, of course, with your boyfriend being a total worrywart.

‘I don’t want you to get sunburnt. Your skin is so fair and delicate, it’s important to make sure it’s protected. Did you know getting sunburned increases your chances of skin cancer?’

A worrywart and a smartass.

It was hard to be mad at his smart (and round) ass though, when he had brilliant ideas like tonight. Dongmin had suggested ordering a fancy dinner to your room and having it on your balcony to enjoy the view.

‘Wah, the sunset is perfect today,’ you said.

‘Your dress goes well with it. Very chic and minimalistic.’ His eyes followed the curve of your waist down to your thigh.

‘I’ve had it forever, but I have no clue where else to wear a red silk gown.’

‘Don’t.’ Dongmin’s cheeks and lips were both red from the wine. ‘Only wear it for me, noona.’

Chuckling, you rose from your seat and stepped closer to your boyfriend. Using just your index finger, you tipped his head up to meet his eyes, and then you put your right knee onto his chair, right between his thighs.

‘Are you telling me what to do now, aegi?’ You asked, enjoying the sensation of his gentle fingers ghosting over your thighs.

‘It’s your decision, but why would you deny me this request?’ His hand became more confident, creeping up your bare skin now. ‘Are you hungry for someone else’s attention?’

‘How drunk are you, Dongmin-ah?’ You asked, brushing your lips against his. ‘Because it seems like you could do something right here, where people might see us.’

Straightening up, you smiled angelically at him.

‘We need to shower and cool off. I’m pretty sure I have sand where it shouldn’t be.’

It was obvious that he was disappointed, but the night was young, and to fully enjoy the experience you had to sober up a little. But it was nothing a quick shower couldn’t fix.

‘You go first, I’ll get rid of the dishes. Don’t argue,’ you cut him off, nodding at the entrance to your room. ‘Go.’

It took you only a few minutes to tidy up, so when you walked in Dongmin was just starting out. The water was on, and he was in front of the glass door, almost ready to step in.

The realization hit you right then. You were going to see all of it. And you didn’t hate the idea.

You’d watched, as if in slow motion, how your boyfriend shoved his underwear down, revealing his plump butt, and got into the bath. Feeling no shame whatsoever, you stood your ground, staring at his bare back.

The water hit his body, languidly running down his smooth skin like a dozen forest streams. From where you were standing you could see the enticing flex of his muscles and the breathtaking curve of his waist. As he leaned in to wet his hair, you pressed a palm to your mouth. This slight voyeurism was making you quite… hot. And bothered.

Swallowing hard, you took a step towards him. You were a bit uneasy with the thought of how he might react. At least you’d hoped that he wouldn’t consider you a complete pervert. But you couldn’t resist the obvious temptation; it was most likely what this bathroom was built for. After all, you still owed him a back hug in your mind from earlier… Surely, he wouldn’t mind that you decided to give it to him now, you thought.

Easily sliding your dress and underwear off, you stopped in front of the glass that was getting foggy already.

‘Dongmin-ah,’ you called, opening the glass door to join him. ‘Noona doesn’t have to wait, does she?’

There was no way you could get a coherent response to your question as your hands wrapped around him and your cheek pressed to his shoulder blade. You felt him freeze for a moment, probably startled by your actions, and then he sighed under his breath.

‘What are you up to now? I thought you wanted me to cool off.’

‘Did you now?’ You hummed, pressing a quick succession of kisses along his spine. ‘Would you like me to stop?’

He pressed his palm to the wall in order to maintain his balance under the attack of your tantalizing hands.

‘No.’

Snaking your hand down to cup his balls, you smiled at his gasp of surprise.

‘That’s what I thought.’

With your body pressed so tightly to his, you didn’t even think twice before grinding on his ass and urging him to moan out loud as your fingers wrapped around his semi-hard penis.

‘Noona…’ He gritted, glutes flexing against your pelvis impatiently. ‘What are you doing…’

‘You don’t like it?’

Dongmin glanced at you over his shoulder before turning to face you. His hands gripped your sides and pushed you into him.

‘Were you watching me this entire time?’ He scolded in his low, velvety voice.

‘It was just a couple minutes,’ you defended weakly and wrapped your arms around his neck, ready to purr as his palms stroked up and down your back.

‘I see.’

You stood like that for a few moments, soaking in the warmth of your entangled bodies while the water splashed you from the side.

‘Didn’t you mention having sand in places it shouldn’t be?’ He murmured, hands dipping lower to squeeze your ass. ‘Want some help with that?’

‘How naughty,’ you snickered, messing up his wet hair even further. ‘Would you rather help me clean up, or...?’

‘Or.’

He responded in a heartbeat, gripping you tight before lifting you up to settle you in the bathroom wall niche.

‘But I can always do both,’ he said, readjusting the shower head to splash you with water again.

You squealed and dragged him in the line of fire as well. Inevitably in ten seconds you were both properly soaked.

‘There was no need to get my hair wet. You look sexy like this, and I look like I need to use a hairdryer real bad.’

He ignored your complaints, leaning close and nearly grazing your lips. With your eyes shut, you waited a few seconds but nothing happened.

‘Were you expecting a kiss?’ He grinned in your face, eyes crinkling in mischief. ‘Aw, what a tiny baby…’

Recalling your earlier interactions in the water, you rolled your eyes at him.

‘So, this is your revenge?’ You asked, not resisting as he wrapped your legs around his waist to move even closer. ‘I don’t find it fair since I did let you kiss me. In public.’

He huffed in response to your statement.

‘You call that a kiss?’

Dongmin’s lips suddenly found yours, and you couldn’t avoid the contact. Tilting your head back you hit the tiled surface, but, thankfully, your boyfriend could predict this move. His palm on the back of your head cushioned the hit, and you could only squeak in surprise, parting your lips invitingly.

He wasn’t the type to waste an opportunity like that. And once Dongmin’s tongue was in your mouth, there was no point in fighting him. Your partner was a little too good at French kissing, and you could easily admit to being hopelessly weak to his talent. He was also a toucher, so whenever a makeout session started, his hands would be all over you.

Moaning as he squeezed your breast gently, you pushed against his chest to break the kiss. Your lips were moist, and you were sure it wasn’t because of the water still running, and you licked them in a failed attempt to gather your thoughts together. Dongmin used your momentary struggle to tease you.

‘That is what I call a kiss, noona. You know this.’

You gulped, trying to think of a good comeback. At this point, you really just wanted to surrender. But him being smug about it was an obstacle: you had no intention of pleasing his ego with instant capitulation.

Grabbing a handful of his hair, you pulled hard. His head whipped back, and you didn’t think twice before latching onto his neck hungrily.

Dongmin’s grunt was the single sexiest thing in the entire situation, not even the sight of his broad shoulders that you were holding onto right now or his curvaceous butt that you loved so much could compete with the sound he produced. It was both surprised and pained, loud and husky with pleasure. You could tell he was conflicted about it just from the way his fingers dug into the skin of your sides, almost scratching at your ribcage, while his cock twitched, pressed between your bodies. He needed to get you off of himself but did he want to?

Pulling away from his flushed neck, you tugged at his hair again just to hear him groan beautifully before he used his strength to tear your hand away from his hair.

‘Noona. You know how heavily it bruises,’ he rubbed his neck with the pads of his fingers. ‘Why would you?’

‘On a scale from one to ten,’ you murmured, brushing wet hair out of his eyes. ‘How much did you hate it?’

You touched the tender skin of his neck, just where the redness was growing, and his breath seemed to get shakier.

‘…s-seven,’ he mumbled.

‘Mm?’

Dongmin cleared his throat, staring at you through his dark eyelashes.

‘Three point seven,’ he offered this time, and you couldn’t help but smile.

‘That’s more like it,’ you hummed, finding his frowning lips in a quick peck.

Meanwhile, he reached down to wrap his fingers around his rock-solid cock to guide it where you both wanted it.

‘Ough-’ You gasped as he bottomed out in one go. ‘Don’t be impatient.’

Your boyfriend’s hips didn’t slow down one bit, although his next thrust seemed slightly more careful. He loved you but he was also damn stubborn.

The glass wall behind Dongmin was getting cloudier from the hot water, which you didn’t hate. The enclosed space seemed snugger now that you were isolated from your surroundings in a way, holding so tightly onto each other. Your skin was slippery under your partner’s fingers, yet he made sure to secure you in his arms. He liked to make it known that once he got you, he wasn’t letting go.

‘Mm- Dongmin-ah,’ you moaned, clutching his shoulder to ground yourself as he kept thrusting quickly.

‘There,’ he finished for you, already knowing what you wanted to express from the way that you tightened around him.

‘Yes, fuck-’

‘Don’t you wish you were more compliant earlier?’ He chuckled darkly, knowing damn well his hips were steadily pushing you towards your release.

The curses you muttered only spurred him on. He got fired up easily, and wanted nothing more than to see and hear you come undone. Especially when he felt he was denied something – like access to your body.

‘I’m… so close, Min-ah, please- You feel so good.’

You knew he liked to stay in control, so instead of bickering with him mid-sex, you just let him know how great he was at what he was doing. A tiny smile that he couldn’t contain revealed that he was pleased with the option you decided to take. With that, he got slightly more determined and aggressive in his thrusting. Patience was not the virtue that he possessed, so you simply closed your eyes, focused on the grind of your bodies.

‘God, I love you so much,’ he gritted, letting out a curse under his breath.

The words were muffled, but you heard them loud and clear. A pleasant shiver ran down your spine, and you moaned, muscles clenching around his cock. The smooth sensation of his length sliding in and out of you made your legs start to tremble.

‘Dongminie-’ You wailed as his hips kept up the brutal pace that brought you to your release so quickly.

He was still going fast and strong while you yelped, on the verge of pushing him away.

‘I’m there, I’m there… Y/N! Agh-’

Dongmin’s voice reverberated from the walls, not even absorbed by the thickened fog around you that you barely noticed. He groaned loudly as he came, and your pussy quivered while you took all of what he was giving you.

Resting his forehead in the crook of your neck to get a breather, he ran his hands up and down your damp waist. You allowed him a moment to gather his strength, finding his slumped shoulders and stroking them along with his back. There were still butterflies in your stomach – either from your recent orgasm, or from him sneaking in the words you cherished so much, or both.

His hands soon reciprocated.

‘Dammit.’ He cursed, turning his head to kiss your neck that was in close proximity. ‘I feel like I could go again.’

The announcement made you squirm. Going several rounds was more than fine with you, but the bathroom wasn’t really suited for his appetites. You could barely hold your balance on wet tile, and it was also getting too hot and humid for your taste.

‘Are you cold?’ He asked, breaking you out of your thoughts.

You realized his palm was slowly caressing your back, feeling almost scorching against your skin.

‘Not too cold. But I’d still prefer to continue after we finish the shower.’ You suggested, hoping that he wasn’t dead set on milking the bathroom thing further.

‘Noona needs to lie down. I got it.’

You were both grateful and annoyed at his answer.

‘Noona can very well be on top if someone lets her.’

He quickly let you down from the niche you were occupying. Just to remind you how much taller and broader than you he was, for sure.

‘Someone prefers to have noona underneath. Nice and pliable.’

‘It has to be your way, doesn’t it?’

You exchanged naughty chuckles.

‘Come on. Haven’t you been imagining exactly this since the moment you saw the bathroom area? I’m not entirely convinced it was my way just now.’

‘Oh well. I guess I’ll have to convince you once we get to the bedroom.’

‘Who said I wanted to relocate?’ He asked, eyes narrowing at you cunningly.

You were positive that next time you should go for a glass jacuzzi to get the best of both worlds. It’s bigger, warmer, comfier… And still see-though. And hot as hell.

Dongmin snorted, inspecting the pensive expression on your face.

‘I’ll give you a five-second head start to reach the bed. If I catch you on the way… We’re doing it here.’

In any other situation you would’ve called him out for his childishness. This time, however…

You were out the glass door in a heartbeat.

Masterlist

A/N: Thank you for reading!! Please comment and reblog if you'd like to support me ✨ I don't write for fandoms other than EXO often, so feedback is important to me~

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whore-era · 2 years

Text

affinity - part 3

ellie williams x fem!reader

themes: angst, pining, best friends, unrequited love, love triangle, these lesbians finally end up together!!

summary: when ellie's plans to confess her feelings goes sideways.

a/n: last & final part. hope u all enjoy this one <3

word count: 4,559

3/3 | affinity - pt 1 , affinity - pt 2

tag list: @jolieetoile @kyleeservopoulos @ri4starshine @joliettes @machetegirl109 @zoddiachead @kyootsies @blairfox04 @frasersgf @3lliesrifle @freesmbdy134 @tweecunt @aryaharmon @whteflwcrs @kxixc @siesie2 @bigboobslilheart @1ov9r @yookayyo @wandsgale @apxtowiris @magicalfreakcowboylawyer @catostrophiclesbian @champagnelovers101 @s3xymoonman @overtrred28 @daddy-carpenter @elliewilliamsl0ver

“shit! jesse! they’re coming closer!”

poor sunshine’s legs are pushing as fast as they can against the snow, attempting to lose the horde of runners chasing after you. their screams ringing in your ears, eager to get a taste of any meat they can get their hands on.

“come on! we gotta get back to town and lose ‘em somehow!” jesse yells, his horse, blade, galloping as hard as his gaunt legs can go.

no. there’s no way you’re gonna lead them, these monsters, back to jackson. you’re on patrol for a reason. you’re there to protect. your mind goes to the neighborhood kids, and the sounds of their laughter when they scamper around the playground. your mind goes to mrs. clarkson, and how she’s 8 months along with her firstborn, a girl. your mind goes to mr. and mrs. rodriguez, and how they’ve been together for 52 years and how they start their mornings sitting on their porch and watching the sunrise as they sip on their coffee. your mind goes to the last time you saw ellie, with her lips on yours. you blink back tears, regretting not taking advantage of that moment to tell her you didn’t want ethan, and how you wanted to be with her instead, that you loved her.

shaking your head, you make the decision to protect the people you love and allow an opportunity for jesse to save himself.

you tug on sunshine’s lead to the right, “jesse! i’m gonna lead them away! go to back to town, now!” and before the raven-haired boy had any time to protest, you scream as loud as you can. attracting the runners with your voice.

“hey! uglies! over here!” you bellow, the pack of infected runners hot on your trail. looking back, relief washes over you as jesse manages to escape, free of any infected following his tail.

but you couldn’t help the fear sinking in your stomach, unsure if you would ever see the town of jackson again.

a few hours earlier

“god, joel. i’m so stupid.” ellie groans, “what if i scared her by kissing her? fuck, i should’ve asked her or something—”

“well, did she look scared?” the southern drawl of his voice questioned, bringing her back to last night’s events.

ellie’s hands were firmly on your waist, her lips pressed against yours, starting off with a slow, tender kiss. you immediately folded, relaxing into her mouth, allowing your lips to part slightly. ellie used the opportunity to slip her tongue into yours, letting you taste the bourbon she was drinking just hours before.

everything felt so right. your bodies molded into each other perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle. your veins were on fire, relishing in the searing session of her mouth hot on yours.

you were brought back to earth once you realized you were kissing ellie. you. were. kissing. ellie.

pulling away from her, your body immediately yearned to be against hers again, but you quickly squashed the urge to smash your lips against hers and bring her back inside your house and rut your cunt against her thi-

“i—” you managed to stutter out, “i h-have patrol in the m-morning.” and you quickly threw yourself inside, slamming your front door shut as you leaned your back against the wood surface.

ellie’s heart was palpating in her chest, nearly popping out of her body. the way your lips felt on hers was a feeling she felt like no other, and she would sell her soul to the devil if it meant she could experience it one more time.

“uh—no, don’t think so. she was kissing me back in the beginning, before she pulled away and slammed the door in my face,” ellie murmured, gaining a chuckle from her step-dad.

“well, i’ll be. think you just surprised her, that’s all,” joel reassured her, patting her back. ellie sighed, burying her face in her hands.

“why do feelings have to be complicated?” ellie’s voice comes out all muffled and garbled.

“who said it had t’be?” joel laughed, “look, let me ask you this. what do you feel when you look at her?”

ellie’s mind drifted to how you looked last night; the glow of the porch light illuminating every feature of your face perfectly — looking like an angel. from the slope of your nose bridge, to the pout of your lips, to the slight glimmer in your eyes — ellie was speechless. her brain went empty, only making space to focus on you.

“i—i don’t know, i just—” a smile mindlessly curls on ellie’s lips as her mind can’t rid of the thought of you.

“uh oh, you’re in deep.” joel lets out another boisterous laugh, amused at the girl’s puppy-love-like trance, “poor girl’s got you wrapped around her finger.”

ellie rolled her eyes, “yeah, yeah, whatever, old man.”

sending a quick glare the young girl's way, the older gentleman brought up another question to her attention. “how do you feel when you’re with her?”

ellie thought for a moment, “well, i’ve known her for years, so i’ve grown to be comfortable around her. i can talk to her about anything without feeling like she’s gonna judge me or some shit. we can do anything together and find a good time out of it all. whenever i’m mad about something that happened on patrol, or i’m sad because of whatever — she’s the first person i wanna talk to. she makes me feel like— like— everything’s gonna be alright,” ellie continued her tangent, “when i’m with her, i get that feeling like when we’re done fighting some runners or something, and we’re full of adrenaline and we’re just so— so proud and relieved.”

ellie takes a breath, “that’s how i feel when i’m with her. and i wanna feel like that all the time.”

joel smiles at the girl before him, as she opens her heart and spills out all the feelings and words she’s accumulated over the years — over one girl. he reminisces on his own love, sarah’s mom, who was his once-in-a-lifetime love. one he’ll never get to experience again, but was lucky to have to remember forever and on.

“see? why y’gotta make it complicated for yourself?” he asks, “just tell her what you told me. easy as that.”

ellie nodded, knowing that the only way she could truly win you back was, to be honest with you. the girl quickly scurried off to her shed, mapping out an elaborate plan to tell you how she felt and how she could make it memorable.

“thanks, old man!” she yelled as she ran inside her little shed.

“no problem!” joel yells, “hey! stay inside, ya’hear? it’s beginning to blizzard out there!” the older man reminded ellie, but she just waved him off. but little did she know, the harsh wind and snow would be the reason why she would be waiting for you to come back home.

ellie spent the rest of her day off planning a special night for you, filled with reruns of your favorite 90’s sitcom on VHS, your favorite snacks, and your favorite dinner. she was currently headed to the town’s mart, fetching some last minute things to decorate her shed with to make it all pretty for you, just how you like it.

ellie let out a breath, observing her hot breath turn icy white in the midst of the blizzard. thankfully, the snow wasn’t blowing too hard. opening the door of the mart, she rubbed her boots against the mat, careful not to slip.

“well, if it isn’t ellie fucking williams?”

she turns her head, greeted by the short, choppy-haired girl she’d been hoping to avoid. shit, i forgot she worked here. ellie cursed in her thoughts.

“hi, cat.” ellie said sheepishly, scratching the back of her neck, “good to see you. you look good.”

“mm, we’re not doing this,” cat snarks, popping a piece of bubblegum, “you haven’t talked to me in like 4 days. what’s up with that, huh?”

ellie sighs, closing her eyes before opening them again. she was screwed. “i just had shit to deal with cat, sorry.”

“like a certain girl you’ve been best friends with for years?”

“how’d you know?”

cat scoffed, “she was glaring at me all night the evening she got plastered at the tipsy bison. thought she was gonna kill me.”

ellie laughed at the thought of you making a grouchy face at cat. it warmed her heart, knowing her girl had a jealous side to her.

“yeah— sorry about that. i- uh- should’ve told you about that sooner,” ellie apologizes. she was aware of how shitty of an apology it was, but she wasn’t sure what else to say.

“mhm, yeah,” cat rolled her eyes, “it’s fine. i saw it coming. we had fun while it lasted, williams.”

“what do you mean?”

“are you really that dense, ellie? everyone in town can see how close you are to each other, and it was just a matter of time before you realized your feelings for her,” cat admitted, putting away some cans on the shelves.

“oh.” was all ellie could say. god, she really was stupid.

“anyways, no hard feelings here. just FYI.”

“yeah, thanks, cat. i appreciate that. wouldn’t blame you if you did harbor any though,” ellie said, beginning her shop throughout the small mart.

once ellie found all the necessary things she needed, she traded her items and left. the snow was blowing even harder than it was before, causing ellie to check her watch. she had an hour left before you and jesse got back from patrol, giving her all the time she needed to finish setting things up in her shed.

she hurried back home, and got to work sorting the fairy lights out in her room, hanging them on the edge of the walls and across the ceiling. decorating certainly built a sweat, and by the time ellie was done hanging all the lights, putting out all the food, and setting up the projector, she was exhausted. but ellie knew it was worth it, just imagining your face once you saw everything she did for you was enough for ellie to keep pushing through with her plan.

checking the time again, she jumped in shock and clambered around for her jacket, slipping it over her hoodie. ellie headed out to the gates, so she could be there to greet you once you got back. filled with excitement, she couldn’t help but walk with a little pep in her step, even though the snow was blowing at such a high speed.

once she made it to the tall, lumber gates, ellie could see a crowd of people gathering nearby the stables and from a distance, she caught a glimpse of jesse.

sprinting over to the swarm of people, ellie grabbed jesse’s shoulder.

“what’s going on?” ellie noticed jesse was by himself and you were nowhere to be seen, “where is she?” her brain immediately jumped to the worst possible case scenario, assuming you were out there by yourself, fighting off a pack of clickers or something worse.

jesse turned to look at ellie, a decision he immediately regretted, knowing it’d be impossible for him to lie to those piercing green-eyes.

“listen— ellie, let’s take a breather—” outrage boiled inside ellie’s stomach, and she cut jesse off with a strong shove to the chest, sending him back a few feet.

“where the fuck is she, jesse?!” the brunette yelled, “did you just fucking leave her alone? out there?!”

jesse took ahold of ellie’s shoulders, shaking her a little, “will you let me get a fuckin’ word in?!”

“this better be good.”

ellie pushed jesse’s hands off of her, taking a couple of deep breaths. “we were ambushed by a pack of runners by the old tire factory four kilometers down,” jesse recounted, “we couldn’t see a thing, els. the snow was blowin’ in our faces, and i guess we were talkin’ too loud— next thing i knew, we were runnin’ for our lives. didn’t have the ammo to take them all down.”

“what happened, jess?” it took everything in her to hold back a sob, “please.”

“all i heard her yell was for me to go back to town, that she’ll lead them away. then she took off in the other direction, all those fuckers chasing after her,” jesse’s voice cracked, only now realizing the gravity of the situation.

“why the fuck would you let her do that?! you should’ve chased after her or— or—” ellie pounded on jesse’s chest, rage fueling her every action. all she could see was red, blinded by the fury.

jesse took her fists in his hands, attempting to calm ellie down, but there was no avail. “you know how she is, els! she’s stubborn as fuck and she doesn’t listen to anyone else—” he breathes out, “she loves this town more than anything in this fuckin’ world. i should’ve known she would’ve done some stupid shit like that.”

a tear rolls down ellie’s face, knowing in her heart that everything jesse was saying was true, and she couldn’t argue with him about that.

“she would’ve never forgiven herself if anything happened or— or someone here got hurt,” jesse muttered.

“this is all your fault! you— you should’ve done something, jess! anything! instead— you left her out there to di—” ellie couldn’t shake off the anger that simmered inside her. she was finding every excuse to blame everyone else, not wanting to face the truth that it was your decision and your decision alone to do this.

“hey!” jesse screams, “you think you’re the only person in this fucking town who cares about her?! newsflash, ellie! you’re fuckin’ wrong!”

jesse couldn’t stand the incessant screams coming from her. he was already beating himself over it, guilt washing over him every time he was reminded that he just abandoned you.

“she’s my- she’s my fuckin’ best friend too, ellie!” a tear streams down jesse’s face, “i would’ve fuckin’ traded places with her in a heartbeat! and you know that!”

at this point, jesse and ellie are in full-blown tears. ellie struggles to respond to jesse, and all she could do was hug the boy in front of her. she didn’t mean anything she said, and she knew he tried his best.

“i love her, jess. i love her,” ellie sobs into his jacket, not caring if snow gets in her face. “what if she’s out there alone? or what if she’s bit? or dea—”

jesse cuts her off, “no. don’t even think that,” he grabs ahold of her shoulders again, “if there’s one thing we both know ‘bout her is that she’s tough and she knows what she’s doin’ when she’s out there. we’ll go after her once the snow slows down.”

all they could do was wait. as much as jesse, ellie, and even dina protested, joel and tommy weren’t letting anyone out, saying that the snow is still coming down too hard and that it was going to be dark soon. it took four stable boys and three other patrol men to restrain the trio from going out on their own and finding you themselves.

as the hours passed and the sun went down, anxiety and panic begin to set in ellie further and further.

she couldn’t restrain herself anymore, and walked towards the stables for shimmer, deciding that she’d search for you herself. not caring how many people tried to hold her back. ellie needed to get her girl back.

approaching shimmer’s stable, ellie tries to pull her gate open but it didn’t budge, realizing they put a padlock on her stall.

“fuck!” ellie screams, kicking a nearby metal bucket, creating a loud ‘clang’ sound. she sat down on a bench, putting her head in her hands and attempting to stop the tears from flowing out of her eyes.

“you know, it’ll do no good if you go out there by yourself.”

ellie picks her head up, seeing the voice was from maria.

“she needs you here, ellie. you know she’d throw a fit if she found out you went out in the blizzard by yourself,” maria commented, taking a seat on the bench beside ellie.

“what if i lost the only chance i had to tell her i loved her?” ellie croaks out, looking at maria with glossy, bloodshot eyes. the older woman wraps an arm around her, pulling her in for a much-needed side hug, “i’m so fucking stupid, maria. so, so stupid.”

“she’ll come back. our girl, she’s resilient,” maria coos, “those runners out there, they should be the ones whose scared.”

ellie laughed a little through her tears as maria rubbed the side of her shoulder, “if she doesn’t come back by mornin’, we’ll all search for her, okay?”

the emerald-eyed girl nods, using her hoodie sleeve to wipe her tears.

“hey! i see someone coming!” ellie and the older woman hear one of the guards yelling. both of them scramble to their feet, rushing to see who it was.

“open the gates!” joel commands. the towering gates slowly unfold, revealing you strolling inside with sunshine.

you have never been so relieved to see those shimmering lights in the distance. after spending nearly nine hours cooped up in a smelly outhouse to hide from the runners, you and sunshine made a go for it, nearly snapping your ankle in the process. but you were thankful you were in one piece and uninfected.

limping next to sunshine, the first person you see is jesse. he races towards you, suffocating you in a tight bear hug, lifting you off the snow and spinning you around. once he sets you back on the ground, he gently punches you in the shoulder.

“you’re so fuckin’ dumb for doin’ that, you know? we could’a lost you,” he wastes no time lecturing, earning an eye roll from you.

“one of us had to do it, jess,” your voice comes out sounding strained and weak from all the yelling hours prior.

jesse gives you a stern look, “it could’a been me. i don’t what i’d do if something happened to you,” he murmurs, pulling you in for another hug, “who’s gonna clean out all the alcohol now?”

you gasp and smack his shoulder, inciting a hearty laugh from the raven-haired boy. he’s never been so happy to see you in his life, and he’s relieved you’re alive and okay.

you’re taken aback when jesse is suddenly shoved onto the ground, the snow cushioning his fall. ellie appears in your view and she takes your face in her hands, scanning your features for any sign of injury or bites or anything of the sort.

jesse groans in pain, holding his hip, “jeez, an ‘excuse me’ would’a sufficed,” he murmurs before he hobbles away, leaving you two alone.

“what happened, baby? where were you?” ellie whispers, her hands never leaving your face, afraid that this would somehow all be a dream and you would slip from her fingertips.

your heart flutters in your chest at her pet name, “i-i was at the farm, down the mountain. i was hiding in an outhouse,” your nose crinkles, “wasn’t the most pleasant experience. i’d give it a three out of ten.”

ellie laughs, despite a couple of tears falling from her eyes, “yeah?”

you nod, “then when the coast was clear, i made a run for it and got on shimmer. think i sprained my ankle though,” you let out a soft hiss as the pain in your ankle shoots up your leg, “besides that, m’fine. just starving.”

ellie wraps her arm around your waist, holding onto you and making sure you don’t stumble. you both see ethan walk over to you, and before ethan had a chance to say something, ellie held her hand up.

“woah, woah, woah there,” ellie declares, “she needs her rest, so i’m gonna take her home. got that, horse-boy?” and ellie whisks you away from everyone else, allowing ethan to take sunshine back to the stables and in her stall.

you didn’t bother to protest, as you were way too exhausted, and you liked seeing ellie get jealous over you for once.

managing to limp all the way to ellie’s shed, you both make it back within due time. ellie rummages through her pockets for her key.

“before we go in, i just wanna warn you, i had this plan for you to tell you how i felt and i was waiting for you to come back but-”

you cut her off, letting out a soft giggle, “ellie, just open the door.”

“yes, ma’am.”

she unlocks the door, swinging it open and allowing you to enter first. you step inside, drinking in the sight in front of you. dainty fairy lights adorned her walls and ceilings, your favorite chips and candy are sprawled out in cute serving bowls, two plates of your favorite meal are neatly set with fancy cutlery, and your favorite show was in the VHS, waiting to be played.

you were in awe. your heart swelled ten sizes bigger, and all you could feel was euphoria. ellie did all of this? for you? if you would’ve known sooner, you would’ve made an effort to come back quicker.

“it’s perfect, els,” you breathe out, looking up at her with a smile.

she gives you a soft kiss on your forehead, “it’s all for you, babe.”

there it was again, those damn butterflies.

leading you by your hand, she brings you inside, guiding you toward her bed. sitting down on the cushion of the mattress, you take off your backpack and put it to the side.

“wanna get cleaned up first? i have some extra clothes you can borrow and you can use the shower,” ellie suggests, holding up a pile of sleepwear.

“yea, i feel icky,” you say scrunching your nose, eliciting a laugh from the brunette.

you shimmy your jacket off and lift your shirt above your head, tossing it to the side. ellie takes it upon herself to help you out of your pants, and she pulls you up on your feet by the belt loops of your jeans, unbuttoning them and peeling them off your thighs.

she gently pushes you back down to sit on the bed, and ellie crouches down in front of you, lifting your legs up to remove your pants. her breath hitches in her throat as she sneaks a peek at your blue, cotton panties.

get your mind out of the gutter, ellie. you’re a gentlewoman.

standing up, you shift your weight on your unaffected foot. ellie snakes her arm around your bare waist, attempting to pry her eyes away from your chest. her mind is spinning, dizzy from the thought of having you naked in her place right now. clearing her throat, she takes your other hand and leads you toward the bathroom.

her hand turns the shower on, checking the water periodically to see if it’s at a comfortable temperature for you. “here, i think the water’s fine.”

limping towards the shower, ellie leaves a towel and the clean clothes on a bare spot on the sink, and heads out the door, “shout if you need me, i’ll come running.”

as the water splashes on your skin, your muscles relax. washing away today’s events from your mind and rinsing off the mud from your skin, you feel a thousand times better. you savor the steam and how it helps you breathe again, feeling like you can inhale and exhale clearly. turning off the water, you step out of the shower and pat yourself dry with the towel.

slipping the clothes on, you step out to ellie’s room, finding her sat on the bed, fiddling with the projector. the smell of your favorite dish wafts in your nose, and you turn your head to see steam rising from the plate. ellie managed to reheat the food and get the projector going, determined to give you the special night you deserved. for her special girl.

realizing you’re out of the shower, ellie gets up and fixes her clothes, “i— uh— got everything set up for you.”

a small smile forms across your face, realizing that ellie was nervous. your stomach tied in knots, excited for what was to come tonight.

“here, we don’t wanna put too much weight on that ankle,” she comes over and guides you to sit back down on the bed, lifting your leg and placing a small pillow under your sore ankle, inciting a small grimace from your face.

“there we go. all better,” ellie murmurs, placing a hand on your thigh.

you smile, “thank you for helping me. but you didn’t have to do all of this, you know?”

“i wanted to. i mean— i had to show you in some way that i’m serious about you and that i want to be with you.” her green eyes soften when they connect with yours.

“ellie—”

she shakes her head, “no. don’t do that,” ellie sighs, “i’m so sorry it took me this long to realize i love you. it took having to see you with fucking ethan to know that i couldn’t survive in this wasteland of a world if it wasn’t me and you against it.”

tears begin to water in the corners of her eyes, “you know— when i was waiting for you, i was just stuck with this horrible feeling of just..not knowing what happened to you,” her voice cracks a little, “i was so scared, so fucking scared, baby. i thought the universe was punishing me, giving me the karma i deserved for not telling you that i love you sooner. thought i was gonna lose you.”

you wrap your arms around ellie’s neck, pulling her close to you. her tears were dampening your shirt, but you didn’t care. it felt like you were in a dream, a dream you’ve had a hundred times before. a dream where the girl you fell in love with all those years ago was confessing her feelings to you, laying her heart out wide in the open.

but this was real. everything was real.

pulling away from you, she looks at your face with tear-filled eyes, “if i were to ever lose you, i’d lose myself,” her voice trembles, “everything i’ve done here in jackson, everything i’ve accomplished here was all because of you. it’s you and me, babe.”

you didn’t even realize you were crying until a tear falls down from your cheek. tears shedding from your eyes, you cup ellie’s cheeks and press your lips against hers. her hands instinctively make their way to your waist, kissing you back with everything she had in her.

you pull away for a second to take a breath, leaning your forehead against hers, “it’s me and you,” you whisper against her lips before you press them against hers one more time.

the whole night is spent with you cuddled up against ellie, laughing ‘til your belly hurt at your favorite episodes, and throwing pieces of candy at her whenever she made a dumb joke.

but you knew this is where you were supposed to be, where you belonged. with ellie. and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

this is the end! thank u everyone for sticking w/ me til the end. i <3 u all.

#ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie williams tlou #the last of us #the last of us ellie #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader angst #ellie x reader angst #ellie x fem!reader

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xo-cori · 1 year

Text

it’s all a game to me anyway (II)

pairing: abby anderson x fem!reader

summary: pining after athletes is never a good idea. that is, unless you’re good at getting what you want.

warnings: smut (MDNI), choking if you squint, praise kink, jesse being an ally

a/n: y’alllll this is ass but i got sm requests for a part 2. also @feelsoseencantdream wanted me to tag them so i’m thinking of making a taglist??? lmk if you wanna be added 😈 ALSO PSA!!! don’t sleep w anybody if you aren’t 100% sure that they’re CLEAN ok thx

The very next day, you follow your usual routine. Daydream through all of your classes until you can finally start your venture towards the sports building, phone on silent with one headphone in your ear. However, the thrumming of your heart only drowns out the music, and it’s an unfamiliar feeling; the way your nerves are getting the best of you, the way you can only hope to be the one in charge here.

But, your nerves turn out to be right.

When you open the door to the rink that is usually filled with people at this time of day, you’re surprised to see that Abby is sitting there alone on the first bleacher. She doesn’t have on her usual hockey get-up; rather, she wears a grey hoodie and sweatpants, which tells you that she isn’t here to practice. Instead, she repeatedly runs a sharpener over the blade of one of her skates.

“Looking for someone?” She wonders, not even sparing a glance in your direction.

You cross your arms, opting to ignore her question and spare yourself the embarrassment. “No practice today?”

“Got cancelled. Coach’s daughter has a stomach bug,” she huffs, “besides, I think we all could use a day off.”

“Oh.” You reply, a small amount of anxiety creeping its way into your body. You step forward to take a seat a few inches away from her. “But you came here anyways? Why?”

Abby finally looks up from her skate and raises an eyebrow at you. “Why did you?”

This is a dynamic you aren’t used to. Being questioned like this without having anything snarky to say in response; it’s almost like Abby has the ability to steal the words from your mouth before you can even come up with them. “You know why.” You say.

She gestures to the empty rink. “No, not really. I figured you’d leave once you realized that there’s no one here to watch.”

“I’m here because you started something without finishing it.” You tell her, sternly, but it only makes her smile in amusement.

“Without finishing you, you mean.” She points out. “There’s cameras here. You, of all people, should know that.”

“We’ll go to the locker room again,” you reach out to grab her hand. “We can–”

“No.” Abby shuts you down immediately, though she doesn’t retract her hand from your grip. She lets you run your thumbs over her calloused palm and pretends not to notice the way it makes goosebumps rise across her arms; chalks it up to how damn cold it is in there. “Give me your phone.”

You tilt your head, confused, but you do what she says with a bit of hesitance. She takes your phone and goes to your contacts, adding her own number and name before giving it back to you. “I have to go. Text me your dorm number.”

Then, she stands up without another word and heads toward the door, leaving you in the same position you’d found yourself in the night before; this time, though, there’s hope. There’s an implication that she’ll finish what she started after all. You make sure to leave out the back door.

“Dina!” You call as you unlock the door to your room, seeing your roommate perk up from the couch. As per usual, her boyfriend, Jesse is laying with his feet kicked up on the armrest and his head in her lap.

She smiles when she sees you, quickly grabbing the remote to pause their movie. “What’s up, babe? You look like you just ran a marathon.”

A cheesy smile makes its way onto your face. “Literally nothing is wrong right now, because guess who’s coming over.”

Dina thinks for a moment, nose scrunched in concentration seeing as there’s lots of possibilities. But, the fact that she’s never seen you this excited about a girl before is enough of a hint as to who the lucky lady is. She pushes Jesse off of her and shoots up from her seat. “Abby?! No fucking way!”

You nod excitedly. “Yes fucking way! I don’t know when, or why, but–”

“Wait, since when is she into girls? Wasn’t she just with Owen?” Dina puts a hand on her hip, obviously just as confused as you.

“They broke up, but… if I was with Owen, I’d probably switch sides, too.” You shrug. “Either way, she’s coming tonight.”

“Which Abby?” Jesse asks, sitting up on the couch to look at you. “You’re acting all lovey-dovey, so I’m gonna assume she’s a good catch.”

You roll your eyes. “Come on, you know which Abby. Abby Anderson, captain of the hockey team? Six feet of pure muscle?”

Suddenly, Jesse seems just as invested in this conversation as you and Dina. “Jesus Christ, how’d you pull her?” He jokes, though you know it’s a genuine question– anybody involved in your university’s gossip knows that Abby hates hook-ups, and anyone who shoots their shot with her usually just makes a fool of themselves. Not you, though. You aren’t sure why but you’re hoping to find out.

“I don’t know! I’m so nervous. Why am I so nervous?” You place a hand over your rapidly beating heart.

Dina strolls over to you and grabs your shoulder. “Because you’ve been trying to scoop her up for, like, three months now. It’s weird to see you all amped up, but I don’t blame you, honestly. She’s intimidating and hot.”

“I’m literally sitting right here,” Jesse reminds her.

“Not for long, hopefully.” You look up at Dina. “You guys can do me a solid and finish your movie at Jesse’s place, right? Please?”

“Two steps ahead of you, sugar. I’m not waiting around for Anderson to show up. She’s… well, like I said, she’s intimidating.” Dina grabs Jesse’s car keys from the kitchen counter, which is Jesse’s cue to finally get off of the couch.

“Agreed,” he shakes his head, “I’ve seen her on that rink once and I can tell she’s not to be fucked with.”

You let out a sigh, relieved that this last-minute arrangement is already going smoothly. “Oh my god, thank you,” you say as Dina places her hands on your shoulders so that she can look into your eyes.

“Don’t have too much fun, you hear me? The last thing we need is a noise complaint.” She instructs you, then leans in to give you a peck on the forehead. “See you tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah, yeah, I hear you.” You grumble under your breath. Jesse waves a goodbye before they both head to the door, opening it and promptly freezing.

You lean forward to see that Abby is already standing right there.

“Oh. Hey,” Dina says, “uh, we were just leaving.”

Jesse smiles awkwardly while Dina grabs his wrist and ushers him out the door. Abby steps inside, head tilted over her shoulder to watch the couple speed-walk down the hallway before she shuts the door. “You seriously shoo’d your roommate away?”

“No,” you lie, “they… she was already going to his place tonight.”

She just stares at you, obviously not buying it. “Something tells me that isn’t true.”

You cross your arms. “Whatever. Why did you come here, anyways?”

Abby sighs as she walks forward and glances around, not yet directly toward you, almost like she’s surveying the area. As she gets closer, you catch a whiff of the familiar scent of her shampoo; pine and vanilla, already clouding your senses with desire. Your need for her has become primal. It’s something deep inside of you that has no beginning or end, no rhyme and no reason. “You don’t really need me to answer that question, do you?” She scoffs. “I thought I made it pretty clear.”

You look down at your feet. “Still would be nice to hear you say it.”

With the distance between you down to only a couple of inches, Abby’s standing in front of you in no time, her undivided attention now completely on you. You feel so small, and you kind of like it.

“What do you want me to say?” She shrugs. This time, though, there’s no underlying mockery in her voice. It’s a genuine question that gives you a sense of security. You gaze into her ocean blue eyes, cursing yourself for the way it makes your heart skip a beat.

“Maybe that I didn’t make myself look dumb yesterday when I told you how much I wanted you,” you answer, “and that you feel the same way.”

Abby tilts her head. “So, you expect me to say that I want you?”

“Kind of.” You mumble.

“Hm,” she leans back a bit, seemingly deep in thought for a moment (though her eyes don’t leave yours once). “My ego’s a little too big for that, but I’d rather just show you.”

You’re given no time to reply before you find yourself in the same position as the night before, with Abby grabbing hold of your waist and lifting you up to sit you down on the kitchen table. You spread your legs so she can stand between them as her lips finally meet yours, the show of strength making you melt beneath her.

This kiss is nothing like the last; carnal, sure, but there’s a hunger inside it and a strange sense of urgency, as if the world is ending and she needs to have you now. Her tongue effortlessly slides against yours and, unlike last time, there’s no battle for dominance. You submit to her without hesitation.

Abby, on the other hand– you’d have no idea how hard she’s trying to keep it together. You’re not exactly the type of person she could see herself falling for. She has a reputation to upkeep, which just so happens to be the complete opposite of yours. If anybody were to even speak both of your names in the same sentence, it could ruin her, leave her image tarnished while you move onto the next girl.

That doesn’t stop her, though. Now that she knows how it feels to kiss you, to touch you, to hear you beg for more, she doesn’t think anything could stop her.

You reach down to grab hold of her wrist, guiding her hand up to its rightful spot on your throat, and she wastes no time pressing her fingers down on the sides of your neck. Your mouth falls open with a gasp, thighs tightening around her waist. She rears back to look at you. “So fucking demanding.” She laughs.

“Just want you to touch me,” you huff out, voice low and shaky. “You left me hanging, Abby.”

“Because I wasn’t gonna fuck you in a locker room.” She says.

You smile, a mischievous glimmer in your half-lidded eyes. “But you’ll fuck me here?”

Abby smiles, too. “That’s the plan.”

She reaches down to the bottom of your sweater to pull it up over your head, throwing it behind her on the floor somewhere. It suddenly becomes very obvious that you’d been counting on getting lucky– you didn’t even bother putting on a bra.

Her eyes fall onto your chest and she stares shamelessly. “Really?”

Instead of responding, this time, you grab her wrists again and use the leverage to place her hands over both of your breasts. Even in the dim light of the kitchen, you can still see the way her pupils dilate once her palms meet your soft skin. She gently squeezes down, just once to test the waters, but you can tell from that action alone just how inexperienced she is with other women.

You place your hands over hers, making her squeeze again. Her breathing becomes heavy and her eyes become curious. She watches the way your skin moves between her fingers, beckoning her to explore.

Abby moves down to your neck, pressing hot kisses all over the marks she’d made the night before, licking over each bite mark that had already began to fade. You hadn’t even tried to cover them up. This only means something to her because she’d seen you walking around campus in those low-cut tank tops, a concoction of makeup smothered over your neck to cover just a few hickies, though they’d remain visible to a trained eye.

She bends down to slip one of your nipples into her mouth, suckling and drooling as you let out soft whimpers of approval. You bring a hand to grip the edge of the table whilst the other snakes up to the back of her head, beneath her long braid so you can tug at the roots of her hair. Each time your fingernails scratch at her scalp, she lets out a quiet moan, sending the most intoxicating vibrations right between your legs. From this new position, Abby can feel the growing warmth pressed against her abdomen, even more so when you subconsciously roll your hips into her. You’d do anything for some friction, and you already know that she’d let you.

After a few moments, you use the leverage you have on her head to pull her off of your chest, making her look up at you with those wanting eyes of hers. “Get down,” you hum, pulling her down by the hair so that her cheek is pressed into your thigh. “It’s like I told you yesterday– you know what I want.”

Now it’s Abby’s turn to find herself lost for words. Maybe it’s the way you’re looking down at her, or maybe the fact that she can already smell you and it’s making her mouth water.

Her hands drag down your waist until they find the waistband of your shorts, hooking her fingers into it so she can pull them down. Too slowly for your taste, but you’d never blame somebody for wanting to take their time with you. Your raise your hips from the table so that she can finally pull the last piece of clothing from your body, letting it fall past your ankles as she gets down onto her knees. “Oh, fuck me,” she mumbles mostly to herself.

She’d never need another confidence boost after this. Abby’s been in your apartment for maybe ten minutes, and you’re already soaked down to your thighs.

As a cue for her to get a move on, you lay your right leg onto her shoulder and tighten your grip in her hair. It’s a wordless gesture that tells her everything she needs to know.

The moan that leaves your mouth when she finally dives in is nothing less than pathetic.

What she lacks in experience, she makes up for in enthusiasm. She tries to recall what makes her feel good; tracing certain shapes with her tongue, licking you up and down until you’re practically gushing into her mouth. She swallows every last drop as she eats you like a woman starved.

Her hands grab onto your thighs, keeping them closed around her head. She’d never admit it, of course, but the way you tremble beneath her hands only riles her up more. Her lips wrap around your clit and she whimpers when she feels all ten of your fingers grab onto her hair, keeping her trapped right there despite the fact that she could easily break free if she wanted to. You revel in that power– knowing just how strong she is, knowing that she chooses to let you be stronger.

The heels of your feet dig into her shoulder blades as her strong hands do their best to hold you in place. Sparks of pleasure catch fire in your belly, the first tell that you aren’t going to last long. “Slow down,” you cry, but the sound of your voice all needy and soft just sends Abby into overdrive.

Her tongue attacks your clit, overwhelming you with the focused stimulation, causing your back to arch closer to her. Your head falls back as your eyes shut tightly, mindlessly whimpering and whining. She can feel your muscles tensing, trembling, like you don’t quite know what to do with yourself, and finds herself wondering how many other girls have had you in this same position. How many other girls have thought they’re the only one to make you feel this good, to make you bend to their every whim like this.

In your mind, though, you can only think of one thing; this odd feeling that Abby has awakened inside of you. A desire to be savored rather than devoured. She licks you up like you’re the last drop of water on Earth and you can’t even find it in yourself to mock her for it. There’s another feeling, a more physical one, quickly approaching. Embarrassingly quick, might you add.

Your hips jerk when you feel one of Abby’s fingers gently slip into you, exploring your warm, soft walls that clench around her so graciously. The arch in your back makes it easier to find that gummy spot which she wastes no time stroking with the rough pad of her finger. “How– f-fuck, how do you know all this?” You whine.

“Read some articles,” she mumbles right into you, sending waves of pleasure up your spine.

You let out a short-lived laugh at the thought of Abby fucking Anderson doing research on how to pleasure you properly. You can’t imagine any of her boyfriends had shown her how to take care of a woman, though, so it was only a matter of time– if it wasn’t for you, it would most likely be for herself. “Good girl,” you sigh, “I’m so close… oh, shit.”

The praise makes Abby moan into you as her dark blue eyes look up from between your legs to appreciate the sight. Your thighs are pressing against her rosy cheeks no matter how hard she tries to keep them open, your eyes struggling to stay open, your chest heaving up and down as you try (and fail) to preserve some stability in your breath.

Finally, that feeling in your belly reaches its peak when a second finger joins the first. Your head falls back and you put a hand over your mouth to muffle a quiet scream.

You make a point of not telling her, or even asking for permission, seeing as your trust had already been destroyed by her in this department the night before.

She seems to be in a very different mood tonight, though, because she doesn’t let up even after the tremors had stopped and the pleasure turns to pain; the good kind, where it’s all too much and there’s nothing you can do about it. You press your heel into her shoulder, pushing against the muscle there so she’d finally detach from you. A small gasp leaves your lips when she slowly pulls out her pruned fingers and looks up at you. The lower half of her face is completely covered in your cum, a sight you’re sure will be forever etched into your mind. How could you go back to normal after this? How could you pretend that anyone else compares?

You grab her jaw and bring her back up to your level, messily smashing your lips to hers as you hold onto her shoulder with your other hand. Much to her dismay, though, you’re quick to pull back.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’ve done that before, Anderson.” You say, albeit breathless.

“If you knew any better, you wouldn’t have let me do that.” She replies. You laugh, but you know she’s right, and you know she’s serious.

“But you liked it,” you implore, clearly searching for some sort of validation, which she quickly grants you in the form of a toothy smile; a genuine one that she just can’t wipe away.

“Maybe. How long do we have until your roommate gets back?” Her clammy hands come down to your waist, kneading the fat of your hips.

You raise an eyebrow. “Long enough. Why? You want a taste of your own medicine?”

The question is enough to visibly light up her eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, I do,” she confirms with a shy voice like she didn’t just give you the best orgasm of your life in under fifteen minutes. She’s sure her boxers are soaked right through the fabric, and honestly, she’s starting to think only you could bring the release she craves.

“Say no less. You gotta carry me, though,” you huff as you wrap your trembling thighs around her waist. “I can’t feel my legs.”

#the last of us #the last of us 2 #abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson x fem!reader #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson smut

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urfavoritegirlkisser · 8 months

Text

"Midnight Rain" II - Rockstar!Ellie Williams x Popstar!Reader

an - wow i did not expect you guys to like this idea so much, if you haven't read part one i would go ahead and read it first before reading this part!! Enjoy!

I don't consent to anyone sharing my work anywhere else, I only post my writing on this tumblr account, do not steal my work

Tags: Fem!popstar!reader, rockstar!Ellie, we're burning slow here my loves, fake dating trope, no outbreak au, angst, slight anxious!reader, Ellie is a little bit of a player and kind of an asshole sorry pookies, lightly proof read, listen to "lucky" by britney spears it literally inspired this entire idea

So apparently you lied to yourself and no one forgot it happened

Two months. It had been two months since you had seen that article and left Ellie’s hotel room, and people couldn’t seem to let it go.

Edits of the two of you filled your for you page, fans brought signs to your shows asking about you and Ellie, and honestly, you were sick of it.

It didn’t help that your management thought it was a great idea because it gained traction for both you and Ellie’s fan bases.

So now you sit in a meeting with Ellie and your managers as they discuss another appearance from the two of you together.

This was your least favorite part of being a pop star, the fame, and your fans were amazing, but most of your choices weren’t your own; they were for the “brand” your management wanted to maintain.

“Sounds good to me�� Ellie speaks up, breaking you from your thoughts as you look at her like she has two heads and scoff

“I’m sorry but weren’t you the one telling me that you had your precious reputation to uphold and couldn’t be tied down with anyone?”, you could feel your anger at the situation growing but knew you should keep yourself from completely losing it

“We both benefit from the attention, that’s more important to me than some silly reputation sweetheart,” she says with that infuriating smirk that lets you think for a moment that her words are truthful

“Fine,” you say, “But this is only going to be a thing for a few months, after my tour is over we are over, got it?”

Your managers go over the agreements and discuss appearances before the both of you sign, basically binding yourselves to each other for the next six months.

The first appearance was simply Ellie coming to one of your shows

She hangs out with her bandmates Dina and Jesse in the VIP box where they are visible to the fans attending but are secure enough so they don’t get mobbed and can enjoy the show comfortably.

You make sure to direct most lyrics in the more romantic songs on your set list toward Ellie and can tell that your fans are eating it up.

After the show, your manager escorts you backstage where Ellie is waiting, noticing that it’s visible by some fans lingering in the upper levels.

Your manager pushes you toward Ellie and you plaster on a fake smile, running up to her and hugging her tightly.

Ellie kisses your cheek lovingly and it sends a jolt of sadness through you as you look into her eyes, wishing the look of care on her face was real.

“Smile, people are watching” she whispers into your ear while letting her hand slip to your waist and letting the other cup your jaw to tilt your face to hers.

You shake off the creeping feeling of anxiety at so many cameras on the two of you and smile softly, letting Ellie lead you into a quick kiss before parting and being led back to your dressing room by your manager.

You get back to your hotel that night and scroll mindlessly through your feed of constant videos from tonight, some of you performing, some of Ellie in the VIP box, and plenty of when the two of you met after the show.

You scroll through the comments of fans raving about how happy the two of you look with tears in your eyes

If only they knew

an - I listened to my sad girl hours playlist for this, I hope you enjoyed it!! Now go drink water you girl kissers xoxo

#wlw fanfic #urfavoritegirlkisser #ellie x reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie x fem reader

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bellswlw · 2 years

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˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ it’s cold here without you ⇨ e. williams

ellie williams x afab!reader

wc: 6k

part 1.5 | part two | masterlist

summary: after Ellie manages to finally get you to pose for her after arriving in Jackson months ago, you two attend the winter dance and it’s then that you realize you might like ellie as more than just a friend…

cw: bff!ellie, mutual pining, jealousy, drug use (weed), alcohol consumption, inexperienced reader, artist!ellie, some fluff, edging (r!receiving kinda), love confessions, making out in semi public space (???) basically grumpy x sunshine, gardener!reader —lmk if there are more tags to add pls—

a/n: this was going to be angsty and sad but then this just happened so enjoy! (please be nice this is my first public wlw post and first fic i’ve been proud of in a minute so pls, pls just don’t be mean. i’ve been so nervous to post this all week help) proofread but there’s probably still some mistakes tbh

From the moment you walked into Jacksons gates, Ellie knew something. Something so small rang in her ears. So much so it almost hurt, it made her want to wince at the sight of you like you were a walking orb of fire and you had just exploded right in front of her.

She knew when you met Shimmer for the first time, she knew in the dining hall, and at the library and the school and the church. Especially at the church. She knew she would never be able to let you go. But she knew she would have to, eventually.

You spun slowly around in Ellie’s desk chair, your head resting back as the smoke filled your lungs more and more with each rotation.

“Please. I don’t want to go alone, I won’t know anyone else there.” you say up into the ceiling while you wait for a response. You hear the crackle of weed burning straight through Ellie’s chest before anything else.

Her voice drops a little low when she finally speaks, the smoke falling from her lips like fog rolling over a still lake. “I’m sure Dina will be there. And Jesse. And literally everyone else.” Ellie was stretched out on the futon from across the room, caring less about the stupid winter dance.

You look at her then, a little dizzy and absolutely appalled that she wouldn’t want to go and watch people get drunk and dance to No Scrubs while high out of your minds.

She was never the type for large happy gatherings, but you figured she would go if she got to sit and watch for entertainment.

“Not everyone.” you whispered to yourself with a quick raise of your eyebrow before glancing at your hands quick enough to avoid Ellie's eyes that were suddenly boring into you.

Ellie sat up; the joint now glued to her lips.

“It’s a fuckin’ winter dance. In the Church. C’mon, how fun could it really be?”

You look up. Seeing how her eyes never left your face. Like you were meeting her there, through a dirty window with the reflection of her hazily standing beside you. A window that hasn't been buffed out yet, just a little foggy. Just a little.

“Well, it would be more fun if you went with me. Please. Just for an hour? Then we can come back here and do whatever you wanna do. Even if it's just sitting around. And you can draw me… if you want to.” you added the last part in a hushed tone, like the words were timid to come out.

But you had been secretly hoping she would since you got here.

You loved watching her draw, her fingers tracing over the paper so gently, like it was skin. Almost like it was yours. You wished it was… sometimes.

She looked away from you, drawing in another drag before she rested her elbows on her knees, legs spread wide.

Ellie had been wanting to draw you since the day you got here. The shape of your hips and the slope of your neck had haunted her pages for months. Erasing and sketching them again and again from memory. She wouldn’t let the opportunity pass her up and spit her out.

She sighed, trying to gauge if you had really meant it. Your tell wasn’t working since you were already beat red from just offering yourself up.

“Fine. Let’s just do it now, while we have time to spare.” was what she said instead, swallowing back her excitement and clearing her throat.

Ellie reaches over to you, handing you the joint and gently flexes her hand in your direction to tell you to finish it.

There wasn’t much left, maybe a little more than a roach. You took it from her a little eagerly, wanting the smoke to smooth your lungs and the quickend beat in your chest caused by Ellie’s hand grazing yours.

It didn’t take very long or much for you to feel it. You were such a lightweight.

Ellie of course found it hilarious when she realized. Catching on and laughing at you from across the room when you started giggling at the word “Infectious.”

Maria had said your laugh was “infectious” in the stables and considering the circumstances, it was true. Only, this time Ellie wasn’t immune to it. She had followed suit and ducked her head over her shoulder away from you to collect herself while shimmer groaned in relief.

“It’s just so—“ you cut yourself off, burying your face in your knees while sitting on the floor against the side of Ellie’s bed frame.

The distance was necessary since you had only met a few days prior.

Ellie looked up at you, with her brows pulled together in confusion before she put two and two together.

“Wait. Are you high?” she asked with a chuckle.

The room was clouded with a thin layer of smoke, barely enough to be able to see to the naked eye.

Your eyes had shot open wide, terrified.

“You are! Holy shit, this is good.” her voice carved the words into you then, the goosebumps running through your legs until they reached your core and exploded there with millions of needles with nowhere to go. You were soaked.

Ellie hadn’t laughed that hard in a minute, with her hand flat on her stomach to try and help the coiling feeling deep in her stomach.

“That’s fucking hilarious.” she murmured, her head falling back against the futon before taking a hit so big her cheeks had funneled in.

“Shut up.”

You were bright red with embarrassment and Ellie couldn’t look you in the eye without the image burning into her mind for the next week.

You think back on it now and what took place only a few hours before, letting a dry chuckle fall from your lips and echo into the quiet of the room.

Ellie’s still for a moment, but then joins in and laughs hard enough for her body to jolt with each exhale.

“What?” her tell floats to the surface immediately as she wipes the bow above her lip nervously.

“Do… do you remember that one time–” You stifle back a small laugh with your hand, slightly doubled over in the chair and your other flat against the coffee table for support.

“What?” she asks again, an unsteady smile creeping its way in.

“When… when we were– I can’t!” you confess, letting out a burst of laughter and slowly sliding down onto the floor.

“What?!” Ellie exclaims, a laugh finally falling from her lips while her hands tense out in front of her.

“When we were in the stab… stables. And I met Shimmer? And then I was petting her ears and all of this sudden, she rips absolute ass! Do you remember that?!” you let out a laugh, deeper from within your stomach causing you to hold onto it with both hands as the giggles ate you alive.

Ellie lets the smile on her face break, and then after hearing you kick your feet against the floor she erupts too, leaning over a bit to join in.

“You got so scared!” she exclaims, which only sends you further into a fit of laughter, breathing heavily for a few seconds and then starting right back up again.

“It was… It was so loud! An– and long?!?”

Ellie eventually joins you on the floor, laughing hard enough to where a vein is popping from her neck, just noticeable enough to where if you reached your hand out to touch it, you could even feel her pulse.

She looks over at you, seeing your eyes pinched shut and your smile wider than she’s ever seen it before. It was incredible.

As your laughter subsides, your eyes find their way to Ellie’s. Watching you, of course.

“Oh,” you say with the smallest giggle attached, then letting it fall away to join the burning embers that lifted the hair off your skin.

She smiled at you, fully now with no hesitation. “Can I draw you?” she asked, not looking away once. Her voice became a little rusted, and it chipped on its way out of her throat like a stone on pavement.

You fought the urge to crack. “Sure.” you said instead, and looked away from her quickly just to pull your eyes back to her slightly parted lips.

Ellie’s smile faltered a moment, resting on her side next to you. She didn't want to get up. She wanted to keep this image of you alive inside her head for the rest of her life. She wanted to keep you forever. Obviously she knew she couldn’t. She’d fuck it up sooner or later.

“What?” you ask, gaping at her with so much love plastered on your cheeks it almost looked fake. Too saturated. Too real. Ellie had the urge to swipe the pad of her thumb across it just to see if it would smudge. She knew it wouldn’t. She just wanted an excuse.

Instead, Ellie glanced away –finally– and lifted a hand to the right side of your face, tucking a single strand of hair behind your ear gently. You froze.

“Just um, put this right here.” she whispered.

Her eyes were glued on yours. The beautiful emerald that made your heart freeze in time just jumped into a millions beats per minute with the touch of her hand alone.

Ellie’s hand was still hovering over your jaw, like she was afraid you would fade away if she let you go.

But she had to. She knew that, some part of her had to know that.

Her hand fell back at her side, and Ellie cleared her throat one more time.

“Um, stay just stay how you are. I’ll draw you just like this, yeah?” you were too stunned to speak, so you nodded once and swallowed back the butterflies that had just burst in your stomach.

“Okay.” you could hear the smile in her voice as she got up on her feet in one quick motion, leaving you to stare mindlessly at the door.

You felt like you were posing naked for her somehow, like she had stripped you clean and she would be basing her art off of you. You hated how self conscious you suddenly felt, but selfishly you loved how excited she got.

And just like that, you're burning up again, your cheeks catch the flint and light is bursting from beneath your skin.

You smother it. You act calm, and cool, and not like you are the horniest you've ever been around someone you could never have.

You don’t move a muscle when Ellie sets down pads of paper, jars of brushes, ink, parchment paper, water color, and charcoal all within a minute or two and is sitting down next to you again.

She put her hands to her mouth, unable to keep her excitement hidden. “Okay. Um. Just, uh, yeah just stay exactly how you are. Try not to move. Or laugh.” you can’t help but let the smirk sink into your face before playfully scoffing under your breath.

You followed her instructions word for word. You didn’t move. No matter how badly you had to pee. You wouldn’t move until she was done.

And so far, it felt like you had been posing for what felt like 2 hours based on how many pieces of paper Ellie had already used, and the fact that the water was completely dark with no more room for ink. Or that her fingers were coated in charcoal and it had smudged on her face as she tried relentlessly to keep the stray hair behind her ear.

But you watched her. You watched her hands dance across the paper like skin. Your skin. –on paper anyway– You noticed her tongue dipping in and out of her mouth as she concentrated on capturing the curve of your arm and the texture of your jeans that made you want to crawl out of them.

Ellie couldn't get the images of you on paper fast enough. There were so many. She had to get it absolutely perfect: the slope of your nose, your crooked hairline caused from laying on your side, the delicacy of your fingers as they rested on the curve of your hip. She had to get all of them out right now or else she would have to keep memorizing and sketching and staring.

Secretly, she wanted to keep a few for herself too. To remind herself that you were real, and that she had you at one point. Ellie only had so much ink and charcoal left, but she didn’t care, she would use it all. She would draw you a million times if it meant you would look at her like this just one more time. She would do anything… anything for you. If she just had the chance, she’d take it. Instead of running away to catch the lungs that were sprinting away from her.

But she would try, with all the power and love she's ever had. She would give it all to you, and you wouldn’t even have to ask. Ellie would give it up willingly, she would beg you to take it from her and say “I don't know what to do with it.”

“Hm?” you ask from your position on the floor. “Do with what?” and her eyes flickered towards you.

She forgot you were really there. That you weren’t another dream. That you could see her.

Ellie cleared her throat and her voice broke when she spoke again.

“Um, the drawing. It’s done. I don’t know what to do with it.” she looked at you one last time before you shot up from the floor and sat next to her.

“Can I see it?!” you said, cheery like a child who had just had their picture taken in a cardboard cutout stand.

“Yeah.”

Ellie turned the pad over to you, and just when she thought she hated it you covered your mouth with both hands and let in a sharp inhale.

You were quiet for a moment, and Ellie was still a little worried you saw right through her until you turned to look at her with tears pooling in your eyes.

“Oh, Ellie. Holy shit. This is the best one yet.”

She let herself feel a little proud then, a smile fighting its way onto her face once again. She never knew why she was always fighting it, it would happen nearly every single time.

“That’s just because I made you look so good.” and she nudged you a little.

“Shut the fuck up, I’m serious. It’s beautiful Els.” and you turned away to look back at the drawing before blinking away the tears in your eyes.

There’s a moment there, where the two of you are staring at… you. “No one’s ever drawn me before. It's weird looking at myself like this.” and you then felt Ellie’s eyes burn the side of your face, begging for you to look at her.

You tilt your head slightly, not stripping your eyes away from the page until the very last second.

Ellie was blushing. She was fucking blushing.

She looked away the second your eyes had found hers.

“Here, you can have it.” and she folded the page into your hand and held it there for a beat.

A beat too long.

The glass was clearing up, the fog dissipating into thin air at lightning speed.

You cleared your throat in hopes to silently slice the tension that was building around the two of you.

“Thanks.” you let your eyes fall to your lap. “We should uh, probably get ready.”

Ellie looks away again, patting her thighs as she exhales swiftly. “Yeah. Yeah, let's do it.”

“Come on, I don’t wanna be the last one there! It’s already started.”

You leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom, actually watching Ellie fix her hair. It was pulled back into a low bun, and the layered pieces kept falling forward, not wanting to swoop back with the rest of it.

“I just, I can’t get this fucking— oh, god dammit!” she exclaimed, letting her hands fly out at her sides and grip the edge of the bathroom counter to take a breath.

“Here, let me help you.”

You took a step off the frame, pulling a pin from your hair and gently stepping up to Ellie to slide the pin into place. You must have accidentally got her scalp because she squeezed one eye shut and let a small wince escape her lips.

“Sorry.” you said, and tapped the pin to make sure it was snug.

You felt Ellie’s eyes on you from the reflection of the mirror. Of course. They were burning into you like the reflection of a magnifying glass.

Ellie’s hands grip harder on the countertop, watching your delicate fingers play with the pin. Collecting strands of her hair and then gently sweeping them behind it as gently as she can so as not to poke you again.

“Thanks.” she says instead, and lets go of the counter with a gentle push. Her hands have a red mark from her grip that when she flexes her hands, she feels her skin pull with resistance.

“Yeah.” you look away, even though you feel the warmth radiating off of her. Sending something through you.

“Okay. Let's go before we’re stuck outside. I heard they are checking for ID." There's a joke somewhere in her voice, but it gets buried by the sudden feeling of your hand twisted in yours.

“Ellie, your hand is freezing.” you say, entirely missing the joke she was trying to make and placing your other hand around hers.

She looked down to see her hand barely covered by both of yours, and she lets the feeling of your skin melt into hers like molten lava.

She was always lighting you on fire. Now, you were warming her up, meeting her halfway.

The dance was better than Ellie had expected. The room was full of people in cowboy boots and actually square dancing. Not just in the movies like she thought.

And you were smiling from ear to ear, happy to see so many people laughing and having fun while they still could. So of course Ellie was happy to be there. She fucking lived to see you smile like you were right now.

“I’m gonna get a drink, do you want anything?” Ellie said against your neck, yelling over the music.

“No! I’m gonna dance.” and she nodded, eager to let go of your hand. She didn’t want to lose you in the crowd. She didn’t want to lose you, period. But of course, she would eventually.

Your hand fell from hers as you made your way into the line dance, knocking your feet back and forth on its heel and toe while clapping your hands along to the music that was actually ‘not that bad’.

Ellie’s standing at the bar, a drink in her hand with no intention of actually drinking it. She wasn’t that big a drinker, but she wanted to keep herself busy while trying so hard not to stare at you from across the room.

It wasn't working, obviously.

She was actually glad she came, because she had never seen you this… bright. You were floating across the dancefloor like some kind of angel. She couldn’t place you. Not here anyway. You looked so out of place, with your smile wide and cheeks completely beet red from dancing, it's like you were more saturated than everyone else, like you were literally glowing.

She snaps out of it when she sees you heading over to her, a smile plastered on your face and sweat beading just above your top lip.

“Oh jeez, they weren’t kidding.” you say to her, out of breath and laughing a little.

“Who?” she asks.

“Tommy and Maria. When we were all putting the flyers up they said it would definitely be an owl here.” and you couldn’t keep it together, laughing into your hand and leaning forward into Ellie’s shoulder.

“That… was terrible.” she smirks.

She loved it.

You pull back, flexing your hands out wide at your sides before letting out a short exhale. “No, but seriously. You guys might not party very often, but when you do it gets crazy. I was drowning out there!”

“You seemed to be doing fine to me.” Ellie offered up. She was flushed.

“Oh yeah? You try going out there. It’s not as easy as it looks.” and you tilted your head playfully, emphasizing your point.

She looked down at her glass then, breaking away quick enough to avoid your eyes.

“That’s what I thought. Now, where is the bathroom?”

And Ellie took the smallest sip from her glass just before pointing to her right and bending her wrist the same direction. “Through the doors and on the right.”

You smiled at her, touching her arm with clammy hands. “Hey, dance with me when I come back?” your grasp on her was slipping away, waiting for her answer before letting go completely.

“Yeah. Sure.”

You beamed, completely unable to hide it this time. You thought you maybe didn’t have to, that you would maybe… finally… be able to clean this goddamn window for good.

You call out to her before disappearing, “Oh hey, you were right! Dina’s here!”

The second Ellie registers what you said, suddenly Dina has appeared into thin air and is dancing with someone a few feet away.

And again, a few moments later, Jesse appears from your left, a matching glass in his hand.

“She’s uh… putting on quite the show.” he says, and it's then that she looks up at her, watching as she gets dipped and the music fades out.

“I give you guys two weeks until you're back together.” and she chuckles.

“Not gonna happen.”

She looks away from him briefly, glancing into her drink that’s gone warm.

“She uh, say something to you?” Jesse asks before looking at her again.

“Make it one week.”

While Ellie’s attention is turned towards Jesse, just then Dina comes over and draws it back toward her.

“Ellie, hey!”

Jesse adjusts his posture, standing taller. It’s so obvious he wants her back.

Dina takes the drink from your hand, shooting it back and placing it on the bar behind you with a thud.

“Dina.” he says, lifting his glass, almost like he was offering it up to her.

“Jesse.” is all she says instead, eyeing him slowly.

“C’mon,” she says, and grabs Ellie’s hand.

“Wait, I was gonna–” but it's no use, because Jesse is talking over you from the bar.

“Hey! Don’t forget we're headin’ out early, so get some rest!” and before Ellie can even look back at him all the way, Dina is already talking again.

“Yes sir.”

Ellie is looking down at her feet, trying not to trip over them as Dina continues to pull her farther into the crowd of people.

“You're such a dick.” she murmured.

Dina’s hands fell easily on her shoulders moments after she placed Ellie’s on her waist.

Just then, you came out from the bathroom trying to pick through the crowd to find her, seeing the empty glass and missing spot from the bar.

You make your way over to Jesse, who you were kind of surprised to see there since he wasn’t much of a partier.

You go to ask where Ellie went, if she had somehow missed her walking into the bathroom… but the words die in your throat when you see her smack dead in the middle of the floor, with Dina rubbing her cheek against Ellie’s and a sly smile on her face.

“I hate these things.” Jesse said.

You glance over at him, noticing he was watching Ellie and Dina too.

“Tell me about it.” you say, looking back at Dina.

She has her arm wrapped around Ellie’s neck, a single hand pulling the same strand of hair that has been falling out of place all day.

The same one you pinned. The same girl who had drawn you just 2 hours ago.

The same girl… that was kissing Dina.

She… she kissed her.

Your windows shattered, shards falling to the floor like needles and with the heartbeat that had been run over and sliced clean in half.

You feel yourself wince at the sight, and before you think twice, you're up from the bar and leave through the back.

You fucking blew it.

Ellie’s hands were stuffed deep inside her pockets, walking around Jackson like a lost puppy.

She hadn’t seen you since the dance. Which to you both felt like a lot longer.

She looked for you afterward, apologizing to Dina before pulling away from her to ask if anyone had seen where you went, if anyone saw you leave with Jesse and wondering what the fuck just happened.

When you got home, the second you closed the door behind you you couldn't help but let the hot tears stream down your frosted cheeks.

You had tried so hard, so hard to let Ellie see how much of her you liked, and completely obvious you made it seem.

You posed for her. Not naked, but the act still made you think it was worth something. So much so that when you pulled her drawing from your backpocket, slightly smudged from dancing all night and when you had pulled it out on your way home contemplating throwing it away.

You shoved it under your pillow instead, climbing in bed shortly after and rocking yourself to sleep and trying to get the image of Ellie’s lips out of your mind.

Ellie showed up the next morning, knocking on your locked bedroom door.

It had scared her, how raw her voice sounded, and how at the same time it had never sounded softer than when she said “Hey, you in there?”

And when you didn’t reply, you could hear her let out a small sigh before stepping away from the door.

You pulled your covers tight over your head and shut your eyes tight with regret.

Eventually, you realized you had to get up to go to work. It was cold out, but luckily you had gotten to work in the greenhouse since it was a low leveled job and you enjoyed it. Plus the warmth helped too.

The greenhouse door was cracked open by a hair, a dead giveaway you were inside. You still never figured out how to latch it all the way closed, and it seemed to get heavier each time you went to move it.

Ellie pulled her lip to the side, nibbling nervously on the inside of her cheek. She felt so fucking stupid, letting Dina kiss her like that. Letting her dance with her. She was such a fuck up, as per usual.

She was walking around aimlessly, bored, and confused.

She didn't know what to do without you. It was so routine with the two of you.

You would meet Ellie at the stables after her patrol shift was over (which was usually in the mornings) and then you would hang out together at hers. And she would usually find you in the dining hall or the library if you were scheduled there.

But since the dance, she hadn’t known where you were, and it's like she had never been to this version of Jackson without you in it.

She had, years ago, but she could never remember what it was really like. Almost as if it didn’t really exist without you.

And just as she was about to head home, with the sun barely peeking out from behind the clouds, she spotted the multiple greenhouses. With one in particular that had a light striking a clear view of you inside.

Ellie pulled her hands from her pockets, a close lipped smile breaking on her face instantly.

She nudged the door with her body and her head barely visible to you from the other side.

But you felt her there. You didn’t know how, but you could tell she was standing outside the door before you saw her.

“Holy shit it's warm in here. Now I see why you always pick this over patrol.” and she watched as you plucked leaves from the tarragon plant.

“What are you doing?” you asked, not looking at her.

Your hands started to shake mildly, and you tried not to give into her eyes that burned a hole in your heart.

“Looking for you. I Thought I’d find you here.” she said, closing the door all the way (of course she'd be able to) and fumbled with her hands, a little nervous.

“I’m almost done here. I just need to take these clippings and a few other things.” your hands carry a tremble now, and Ellie can see it.

She takes a step closer to you, and it's unavoidable not to look at her now.

“Can we talk about last night?” Ellie asks with her hand flat against the workbench and her brows are pulled together in a frown.

“There's nothing to talk about. I just… I wanted to go home. I didn’t wanna bother you and Dina. you seemed like you were having fun.” as you tied the twine around the clippings, Ellie's hand covered yours on an exploded scale.

You turn your head, looking at her and seeing right through her.

“C’mon. Don’t be like that. Dina… was just being Dina. She didn’t mean anything by it.” Ellie's thumb started to form small circles on your skin, drawing you in, inch by inch.

Ellie took a small step toward you, her other hand reaching up and cooling the burning of your neck.

She leaned in toward you, and her lips grazed yours before kissing you softly. It was wrong, it was so so wrong.

You closed your eyes and a single tear rolled down your cheek fast enough to transfer to Ellie’s.

You pull your hand back from hers, taking a complete step backward and trying to conceal the tears that wanted to run down your cheeks freely.

“Do you like me, Ellie?”

The words had shocked the look off her face, only for her to reposition her brows into a confused glare.

“What?”

“Do you like me.” and there is a quiver in your voice. Her figure becomes blurry, but before she disappears completely you tilt your head and wipe your tears on the sleeve of your shirt.

“I– Yeah. Yeah, I like you. Why would I kiss you if I didn’t like you?”

“Why would Dina?”

Her head drops down between her shoulders as she sighed. She didn’t know. She didn’t. But she knew that she would rather freeze to death than lose you, she knew that much.

She pulled her lips between her teeth “I– I don’t know. I- She- Dina kissed me, okay? And she asked me to dance. I didnt– I wanted to dance with you, I wanted to…” she couldn’t say it.

“What?”

“I wanted to kiss you, alright. I wanted to even before then. Before the dance or before the stables. From the moment you got here I knew. I just didn’t know. I do now, I swear.”

You didn’t know what to say. You wanted to say everything, anything. Your lips were sealed with hot tears streaming down your face.

“Can you say something?” Her voice is merely a whisper like a jagged piece of ice dragging across your skin just light enough to form goosebumps.

You pinch your eyes shut and let your hands shakily wipe the salt water from your face.

“I– I… Ellie. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say, this…”

She takes a small step toward you, grabbing a hold of your wrists gently enough for your back to meet the opposite wall of the greenhouse and boxing you in around the floor to ceiling plants that were on either side of you.

“Just, say something, please.” Ellie gave your wrists a little shake, freeing them from your face.

She looked worried now, and the thought of her thinking you didn’t like her sent a strike of sadness through you.

You move your hands fully away from your face and let them fall at your sides, lacing your fingers with Ellie’s slowly. She’s looking down at them, and swinging them softly from side to side.

“I… I liked you too. From the beginning I mean. In the dining hall when you sat next to me. I liked you then, I still do.” you confessed.

You felt the fire in your cheeks and you couldn’t meet Ellie’s eyes and you made way with her chest.

She leaned down an inch to place her forehead together with yours. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

You let out a breath, a scoff even. “I tried! I was trying this entire time. And plus, you just said you realized you liked me. I wasn’t sure.”

Her words rang through you. You shook with anticipation.

“Is that why you left last night? Because you were jealous?” and Ellie’s voice rose to a mocking tone, tugging on your hands in a playful manner.

“Shut up. I was not.” and you look away, the smile bolted across your face proudly.

“You were! Say it, say it please! Tell me how jealous you were. C’mon, tell me tell me tell me!”

And it's then that you smash your lips against Ellie’s to meet her halfway with just the very tip of your toes.

Her lips were warm with lust, her hands breaking from yours to find the soft spots behind your ears with a swipe. Ellie exhaled into your mouth immediately and your head met the back wall of the greenhouse with a soft thud.

Her tongue swiped against your bottom lip, begging for entrance that was obviously unnecessary by how quickly you parted your lips for her. She rubbed slow circles over your jaw, and soon enough her hand was traveling down the curve of your hip and squeezing there. Just enough to express a moan from you.

Ellie smirked against your lips, drawing back for a breath before kissing you harder now, not hesitating or double checking for dominance. You were absolutely floored.

Your shirt had ridden up just mere inches, and her hand was met with the small piece of bare flesh there, causing you to let in a sharp inhale through your nose.

Both of Ellie’s hands are playing with the button of your jeans, fighting to get them undone and pulled down just below your pulsing cunt.

Once her hand finally finds the band of your underwear, it's over. You were already completely unfolding right in front of her.

Your mouth falls open, and a moan slips from your lips, a little louder now as you arch your back to be flush with Ellie. She bends back the band of elastic, traveling down to reach the very top of your pussy she can already feel how wet you are for her.

Just then, both of your hands fly to grip her inked forearm. A silent warning.

“Your hand… ‘s cold.” is all you can make out.

Ellie pulls back to take a look at you. You're absolutely flushed. “D’you want me to stop?” It was genuine. She wanted this to be perfect for you. She wanted to get it right.

“I– I want to keep going, but I-” and Ellie uncoiled her hand from beneath your pants to rest it on your hip.

“I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t ready for.” she let her arms straighten against you, waiting for you to reply.

“I’m ready. Really. I just don’t really wanna… do it here. It’s kinda dirty. And also probably illegal. And I really do have to take that stuff in.”

Ellie smiled. “You’re cute. Why don’t we take them together, and then, if you want, we can go hang out at mine?”

You looked at her with a tight lipped grin. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

#it’s cold here without you #ellie williams #ellie tlou2 #ellie williams x reader #the last of us #ellie williams smut #tlou2 #the last of us smut #ellie tlou #ellie williams x reader smut #tlou #ellie williams x y/n #ellie x reader #ellie williams x you #bellswlw

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zombholic · 1 year

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| 𝐃𝐑. 𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 |

𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗻 𝗮𝘂, 𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗼𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗯𝗯𝘆, 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗶𝘁𝘇𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿, 𝘀𝗳𝘄

“when i kill myself imma make sure to add this job to my suicide note” you rolled your eyes as you and your co-worker cleaned the spilled caramel frappuccino off the table and floor.

“we don’t get paid enough for this shit honestly” your co-worker, jesse, exhaled from his nose in annoyance throwing the rag in the sink. hearing the bell jingle indicating a customer just walked in to order the most outrageous drink known to man.

“im going on my fifteen, don’t call for me” jesse took his apron off, walking onto the back. turning to the register you looked at the customer only to be greeted with the most gorgeous woman you have ever laid your dull eyes on.

“hi, what can i get you started on?” ripping your gawking eyes off the tall woman to look at the register. “just a large black coffee please” she smiled taking out her wallet “guessing that’s going to be hard to take off the floor” she chuckled referring to the spilled frappuccino.

“oh my god i know! i don’t get paid enough for this” you put in her order “you probably get paid so damn good” you clicked your tongue looking at the scrubs and white coat she was wearing. getting a laugh out of her she nodded “yeah, well i am a doctor.” “well doctor can i get your name for your, don’t take offense nasty coffee decision.”

“abby, and none taken it’s the only thing that keeps me awake for twenty-four hours” she pays for her drinking before going to sit down to wait for her order. jesse arrives back with the most irritated expression plastered across his face, you start brewing hot coffee as you looked around making sure no one would hear what you were going to say to him.

“that lady over there” you nudged his arm while pouring the coffee in a plastic cup “i already planned our wedding and how many kids we’ll have” he scoffed, shaking his head, grabbing a mop to clean off the coffee on the floor “why do you always have a thing for the milfs” giving him a menacing smile as you called her name for her to get her coffee.

“have a great shift doctor abby” you handed the coffee over, feeling your face get hot just by looking at the goddess “you too sweetheart” she shot you a wink before walking out the door.

groaning loudly as you threw ur head onto jesse’s arm “if i don’t see her again i will actually throw myself off a bridge” he pushed the mop handle into your hands “im going to send you to a mental facility y/n” he laughed watching how you were so mesmerized by someone who is possibly straight and married with three kids.

—

you had the opening shift today so it was just you all by yourself, you contemplated throwing yourself out your moving car but decided not to. opening the glass door you had at least an hour before the cafe was open, going on with your usual opening routine you went by the door to flip the close sign to open.

leaning over the counter scrolling on your phone since it was a small coffee shop and not many people come in at 7am on a sunday. hearing that god annoying bell ring you put your phone away only to see the love of your life walk in. “doctor abby, i remember you” you gave her a giggly smile.

“i remember you too ms…“ she squinted at your name tag “ms. y/n, i’ll just get a-“ “black coffee?” you finished her sentence “great memory” she let out a soft laugh “not really, i have the worst memory known to man actually, it’s just no one really orders black coffee” you started brewing up her a new batch.

“so doctor, can i ask how old you are?” you wanted to make conversation with her, “i’m thirty-two actually, what about you?” “twenty-one” yes you had a thing for older women but who wouldn’t? “how long does it take to like become a doctor? also what kinda doctor are you?” you handed her the coffee leaning over the counter, your hands holding up your head.

“i wish my interns asked as many questions as you do” she copied your leaning on the counter but on her side “i’m a cardiologist and almost 14 years, i had to graduate high school early” she took a sip of her coffee before looking at her watch wrapped around her wrist.

“oh a heart doctor, you must be so damn smart, must be nice” you both laughed “have you ever done a heart transplant?” you had a lot of questions for her, not like you weren’t interested, you just think asking questions is flirting.

“yes, i’ve done a lot of heart transplants. i’m gonna be late for work but i’ll talk to you next time sweetheart” she waved you a goodbye before leaving out the door again.

should i ask for her number next time?

AUTHORS NOTE: hey :) im back, dont worry, im already making a part 2, my first series ever!! also my inspo goes to @eightstarr i love their doctor!abby txts!!

#lesbian #lgbtq #wlw #the last of us ii #abby anderson #tlou2 #the last of us #tlou #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson imagine #abby the last of us #abby x fem!reader #doctor!abby

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lailawinchesterr · 21 days

Text

remedy (v) — sam winchester

> prev, masterlist

summary: you deal with the aftermath of dean’s visit and your outing with sam, it goes half-way according to plan — tags: underage!reader, 22 year old!sam, med student!fem!reader, cursing, said shorter but it’s a ‘jared’ shorter, he’s 6’4.

“Are you…” Sam sighs and you can hear how tired he is, “are you okay?” Today’s been a lot for him. Dean made another appearance after Sam thought it was over, both of you came back to the apartment for a reason— so maybe you’re thinking of yourself a little, but still it’s been stressful for him.

And you just slammed the door in his face. “Changing.”

“The clothes are out here.” You curse at yourself and purse your lips. You open the door slightly, just enough to see Sam’s face, his long tousled hair, and him holding out the pile of clothes to you. You snatch them from his hand and shut the door again.

They fit well, Sam’s only a couple of inches taller than you so it’s almost okay, the shirt’s a little too long but the pants are sweats so with a tight knot, they hang low enough that it looks cute.

You exhale shakily before opening the door and then letting out a breath of relief that he’s not here. You fold your clothes and put them on Gen’s desk, right next to her books, and take out your phone.

It might seem pathetic, a little childish, but come on, you’re spending the night with Sam, you have the right to be those things to Jess.

You: I’m staying over.

Jess: Over my dead fucking body.

You: Just sleeping. In gen’s room.

Jess: Girl that’s even sadder.

You: Not a word, whore.

Jess: Is so, slut (for Sam).

You: Not funny, Jess. Don’t tell Gen anything, okay? Besides i'm here for Sam, he wants me to stay.

It sounds even more feeble actually typed out.

Jess: Why doesn’t he go talk to lily?

You: He said they’re not together.

Jess: BITCH YOU TALKED TO HIM ABOUT IT?

You: How is that a bad thing?

Jess: IT'S PATHETIC AND DESPERATE!!! I’m going to kill you when I see you.

You shut your phone off and hide it underneath your pillow. Everything will work itself out, with Sam and Dean and Jess and freakin finals that you have next week. You finished anatomy which means there’s physiology and biochemistry 104 left for next week. Which you’ve hardly opened having just finished your histology exam.

Someone— Sam, obviously— knocks on the door and you tuck your hair behind your ear before saying he could come in. Sam’s brushed his own down, it looks much calmer than it’s usual ‘let it be’ hairstyle he has going for him. He shuts the door behind him— is the air getting thin?

“Look, you say the word and I’ll drive you back home—”

“What? Where’s this coming from?” He raises one eyebrow and takes a step towards you, flustering you so fast, just the way he takes his steps, stares into your eyes, and you stare at your fingers in your lap.

“You slamming the door in my face, you sleeping in Gen’s room, and now you’re not even looking at me, so if you don’t want this—”

“What is this, though?” Your voice drops, slow and cautious. “What is it? Are we…”

He walks over to where you’re sitting, sits down in front of you and reaches one hand out to brush his thumb over your knuckles, “We can’t figure that out if you keep acting like this. And I really like you when you’re not being like— when you aren’t acting scared and shy. You’re the most thoughtful friend, kind.”

“Right, but as a… not-friend, I guess; it wouldn’t work out.”

He shakes his head quickly, “That’s not what I’m saying. It would work if you stopped being so afraid! Of me, or what’s going to happen! Whatever you’re scared of, just don’t be.”

“That’s stupid, Sam,” you pull your fingers away from him so his hand is laying on your lap, barely on your thigh and you keep staring at it, not looking him in the eye quite yet, “being cautious is what helps me stay happy and whole, you know? The second I let my guard down—”

“What? What do you think is gonna happen?”

“I haven’t even known you that long! It’s been three weeks.” He scoffs like that’s the lamest excuse he’s heard in his life and his hand is no longer on your thigh, only God knows where it is because you’re definitely not looking up to see.

“If you don’t look at me while we’re talking then this’ll never fucking work.” The anger in his voice burned like a wildfire inside of you, consuming. it's terrifying how well it works as you involuntarily look up at him.

It’s not that you’re scared of Sam or that you can’t maintain eye contact, you’ve done so various times, but this feels different, like he’ll dive into your soul if you look into his eyes for too long.

“Sam, I’m not being dramatic about this,” you reinforce, harsher this time, because you know what you feel, and he won’t make it seem small and insignificant. It isn’t. This is exactly what’s helped you avoid heartbreak for the past seventeen years.

“I’m not sayin’ you are. But being scared, nervous, whatever, about this is what makes it worth it. I’m not rushing you, if you wanna take it slower, we will, but I need to know how you feel, otherwise someone’s gonna get hurt and it’ll be because you didn’t tell me what you want right now. You gotta talk to me.”

His eyes up-close are easier to read. He’s desperate for answers, you’d assume that easily with the kind of day he had; filled with questions. You let his name slip with a groan as your head falls back. This is… a lot. But when you look back at him, he isn't deterred, his eyes are still searching yours for an answer.

“I have so many questions though—”

“Ask.”

“Lily.” It comes out before you can stop it but you don’t have time for regret.

“Just a friend. You have to trust me if this is going to work.” Calling your non-relationship this is apperantly the default name.

“I do trust you,” Risky considering you just met him, “but you never told me about the hangouts. You guys go out alone.”

“She’s top of the class, it helps to study with her.” Apparently that’s something you’ll have to get used to, him hanging around other girls. No questions come to mind after that, except maybe the most obvious one. That’s bothering both of you.

“Sam—”

“I’ll wait. If you want me to wait for six months, I will.” You tilt your head in confusion, “I like you, a lot, and if my age bothers you then I’ll wait as long as you want. But you will not use it as a reason against us.”

It's probably all you’ve ever wanted your whole life. Being the youngest in your classes, in college, in basically everything you’ve ever participated in has always made you think you’re less than you are. You can’t be successful because you’re too young, it’s okay to fail because you still have years to catch up— it’s insulting and honestly just fucking annoying.

But it’s still not that easy, even if you want to be with Sam people will talk. You don’t look seventeen, but you are, and you’re friends know so, since you don’t have a license. You’ll get the looks and talks you don’t want to even come near but it’s inevitable.

It’s worth it. Sam is worth it.

“Yeah let’s, can we take it slow? Just for a while, so I can understand this before we decide to get into it.” You don’t date for the hell of it but while you’re not naive enough to think you’ll marry Sam, your heart needs time to catch up.

He nods with a small smile, finally. “How slow is slow?”

Great question. How slow is kissing? Probably slow enough, you think as you lean in, your lips inches apart. His eyes do that thing again, eyes, lips, eyes. And you’re praying he’ll finally do something— Sam crashes his lips onto yours. When you didn’t immediately pull away, he tilted his head and deepens the kiss, slipping his tongue out to slide over your bottom lip.

When he doesn’t get the reaction he wants, he bites your bottom lip but it’s so faint you wouldn’t feel it if your whole body wasn’t invested, which it is, so you comply, pushing your lips apart to give him access. His hands run up your thighs and to your waist, pulling you closer slowly so you don’t crash your teeth together. It’s slow but deep and feverish and needy.

When he pulls away for a second and shuts his lips closed you shudder, involuntarily chasing his lips before you feel his hands slip under your thighs and he lifts you onto his lap, then moves so he’s in your place with his back against the headboard.

He doesn’t go back to immediately kissing you, instead pulls back a little further, one hand on your waist, the other coming up to your hair, his eyes taking you in so completely you might as well be naked. “What?”

“You’re gorgeous,” You pout. That’s… sweet. Too sweet. You guys should go back to kissing. So you nod once and try to lean back in, he lets you, indulges you in a kiss. Two, three seconds then he pushes back using the hand that’s holding your head, treading his fingers through your hair. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, ‘s cute, thanks.” He shakes his head, obviously not buying it. “Just… i don’t know, it’s weird hearing it from a guy.”

“That you’re attractive? Are you joking?” You shrug and try to look around for something to do. Is it normal to have full on conversations when you’re trying to make out? “Beautiful.” He says it with a breath, like it’s consuming him “Every part of you.” He whispers that part while his eyes run over your figure up and down.

“Okay… so kiss me?” He laughs a little and with your hands on his chest you can feel the vibrations distinctly, making you forget your question which allows a gasp to escape when his lips pull yours in.

You can’t believe you’re kissing Sam. You can’t believe that you’re taller than him in this position. He’s the one pulling you down to get to him. Incredible. Everything about him and this.

He tests the water again before slipping his tongue into your mouth and it causes a more visceral reaction; you pull away suddenly and his eyes instantly snap open. “You okay? Was that too fast?”

No just… weird? Are you supposed to do that for him? Yeah, no way, man. You’re not a prude (kinda), you’ve watched things here and there, a woman has her needs, but this? Kissing? Not the internet’s biggest interest.

“Sam, you know this is like— you’re my first. Ever.” Oh. Okay. So maybe he didn’t know. His face is suggesting he, infact, did not know. “Like I mean, not, maybe—” You’re making it worse.

“You’re making it worse.” He sighs and his head falls back to slam quietly against the headboard. He looks tired, but takes back his words the second he says them regardless. “‘M sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Just— you should’ve told me. I didn’t know.”

“Well, I thought I’d make it obvious the second the kiss starts, honestly.”

“Wouldn’t have guessed,” he mutters through half-lidded eyes, fingers still playing with your hair. He’s better at not freaking out about your pop-up facts, now. “Was it okay? For your first time?”

You nod quickly, “Yes, the best.” You lean down and press another kiss. It’s unhurried, and just the surface, but still so meaningful it fills your heart beyond belief. “You’re the best— but since we’re on the topic, you know that I’m a virgin too, right?” You add the last part just in case. Just in case.

“Yeah, baby, I know,” He’s probably extra tired if he’s calling you that. He should really stop if he wants you to keep it that way. “Wasn’t gonna do anything tonight, anyways. We’re waiting, right?”

“Do you want to do something tonight?” You’re not sure why you’re asking. You’re not ready. Mentally or physically. He shakes his head anyways and you let out a sigh of relief and practically slump your shoulders. He chuckles and tries to sit up.

“That bad? Then why’d you ask?”

“No not bad, ‘s just that I’m not ready yet.”

“We’re never going to do anything you’re not ready for, you know that. You shouldn’t do anything just ‘cause I want to.” You know that, it’s basically the only staple in your life considering how much of a people-pleaser you used to be back in high school.

“Okay, yeah.” Your smile is wide despite all the highs and damn lows of today, you ended it on Sam’s lap, making out (on Gen’s bed), how the hell are you supposed to be sad about that? Not happening. But you are concerned for Sam’s health so you slide out of his grip and sit next to him instead. He faces you.

“You’re exhausted, Sam. Go to sleep.” It’s not a demand, but he seems to take it as one because he yawns and slips further into the bed. “In here?” You let out and immediately glue your lips shut.

“You want me to leave?” He’s asking but he’s also getting comfortable at the same time. So you shake your head and make a move to get out of the bed when he starts slightly, a wave of guilt washing over him, so clear on his face. “I’ll go, just give me a minute—”

“I’m just getting the lights, Sam.” You feel him sag with relief and you mirror it out of joy. You get the lights and take a moment to collect yourself then get in the bed next to him, slowly tucking yourself under the covers. You try not to touch him and he doesn’t exactly have time to comment because he’s out in a minute.

Jess: Like a cheap whore.

You wish you could text Jess back to shut up and that that isn’t what happened but that’s a lie— it’s exactly how it happened. You left the next morning before Sam woke up, leaving his clothes in a neatly folded pile in his living room. She must’ve checked your location.

You: How’d you know he’s asleep?

You text back as you pass another coffee shop on your way home. It’s only a thirty minute walk, good enough for you to think and collect your thoughts before Sam inevitably calls.

Jess: I didn’t but you confirmed it. On your way?

You: Yes.

Jess: Coffee bitch!! Gen wants matcha.

You shut your phone off after putting your AirPods in. You’ll bring them their coffee and tell them all the details but now you need to think. Collect. Recollect. Organize.

And you will, you are. Because you’re not hiding from Sam, you’re not running away or ignoring him, you need space, like you often do, so you don’t get emotional. That, and waking up next to someone is too intimate for you so maybe a little bit of running.

But you didn’t do it just for him, you wanted to see if you’d be able to do it, be comfortable enough to sleep next to him. And despite the answer being ‘maybe?’, you would do it again.

“Glucose is converted to glycogen, glycogenesis—” Another yawn. The sixth time in maybe just this hour and you pull your phone out to find something a little more entertaining for just a few minutes. Your brain is going to seriously retaliate if you don’t immediately get a break.

Sam: Hey, how are you?

Sam: Classes?

Your breath hitches as you stare at your Lock Screen, the little messages under his name sending a current through your entire body. Despite the constant texting these past weeks it feels different now. You kissed. Yesterday. And you left without saying anything.

His text was sent five minutes ago so you suck it up and text right away.

You: Yes, I’m in class right now. Sorry I didn’t wanna wake you up.

Sam: It’s okay, but you should’ve, wanted to say bye.

Oh, that’s sweet.

Sam: Be careful and text me when you’re done I wanna talk.

You: Okay. I’m done by three.

Nothing bad could possibly come out of this, you’ve already done the biggest part and he told you that he likes you. Straight up just said it and that he wants to make a relationship between you two work. Nothing else bad can come out of that.

Sam: Meet me at the cafe in front of the gate?

He wants to meet up? Now? No way, youre half out of your mind and if someone doesn’t drop you onto a bed at this moment, you will be throwing hands. You barely slept a wink in that bed, no matter how warm and there Sam was next to you, it didn’t calm you down as much as you thought it would. You still got to sleep, just not enough, a few hours considering you kept waking up every hour to check that he’s still asleep and make sure you’re not dreaming.

You: Okay.

The monologue was helpful and very true, but there’s no way you’re rejecting him when you want to talk just as much as he does, if not more.

“—and so it’s back to its normal set point. This is what we call negative feedback mechanism.”

You might need a tutor, though.

“Hey, mum.” Your heart softens hearing her voice blare through the phone. So much background noise, your siblings, but she’s laughing as she asks how you’ve been. “Great, I’m okay. How are you guys? I know I haven’t been checking in lately, ‘s my fault.”

She asks about your grades and how studying is going and you tell her the truth, you’re a little distracted today but other than that everything’s okay, that earns you a lecture, that you cut short when you see Sam approaching your table. You already ordered a redbull for yourself and since you didn’t know what sam wanted you got water.

“Love you so much more.” You smile and shut your phone off as you stand up to greet him and he hugs you, his cologne penetrating everything at this point. Did he always smell this good because God, how? “I’m sorry I’ve just been tired so I got it— do you wanna order?”

He shakes his head and you both sit down opposite to each other as you try and drown your drink. He looks like he wants to say something and you’re not sure anymore whether or not this is ‘nothing’ like you tried to convince yourself.

“How’s school? Do you have classes today?”

“No, no, just a project meet up tonight—” With Lily, probably. He takes his phone out to put down on the table as it rings loudly to show a notification. “But you left, sweetheart. So I wanted to ask you about that.”

“I had class.”

“Your class starts at one, you left way before that.” How’d he know that? “Yesterday, did I make you uncomfortable?” You hate this. Two steps forward, one step back. You kissed, you thought that meant you could do more but you can’t and you have no idea why you lied to yourself.

“No.”

“Then what’s wrong?” You shrug and take another sip. “Yesterday we were tired and it was late so if you did something you regret or if you don’t mean what you said—”

“What? No, I meant it. Why, did you not mean it? You said you’d wait.” It’s moments like these where you regret having the ability to speak. Jumping to conclusions and deciding things for everyone has been your default. You’re a control freak, it’s the least you do.

“You’re the one who’s not talking!” He says, a little loud and exasperated which forced you to lean back in your seat. “You said you want this to work so you have to open up to me.” He’s making it sound like a school project.

“It’s just how I am, I don’t like airing out every single thought and feeling I have.” And then, because if there’s one thing you know how to do it's setting boundaries, “If you don’t like that, Sam, then just go.”

He sighs and shakes his head. “I want to be here but— okay, so, I’ll recap what happened. Before we slept we said we’d try to take it slow, but that you wanted me. I wanted you.” Wanted? “I want to be with you,” he says strictly, “and then I wake up and you’re back to how you were two days ago. Closed off.”

“I’m not closed off, I tell you everything. I told you I had class, and I was tired so I got a redbull.”

“Are you hearing yourself?” He says with a laugh, a little amused and thankfully, less irritated, “you told me you’re tired? I don’t mean that kind of stuff, baby, I wanna know why you left early. I’m not accusing you of anything, I just want to be there for you. You think about things way too hard and they spin out of control, and I can see it, but I just don’t know where it comes from. You need to clue me in.”

He said ‘baby’ again, and this time he isn’t sleepy. Maybe he deserves a little bit of your thoughts. It isn’t like you’re actively keeping him out, it’s just too much for a lot of people.

“Sam, I don’t mean to be closed off but I think a lot, and it’s just, I don’t know, I guess high maintenance for some people. You don’t need to know every single thing.”

“I’m not saying every single thing about your entire life, but maybe just about us for now?” Maybe time stops, maybe it doesn't, maybe you’re hearts behind it, but when you face him again it’s a different expression than before. He’s frowning at you like the answer means the world to him and you can’t help but feel guilty and enamored by how fucking beautiful he actually is. And he likes you? It’s getting harder to accept by the moment.

Contrary to popular belief you are not just a control freak. You’re also an over-thinker with self-sabotaging tendencies that could last you three lifetimes, but you just can’t find it in yourself to do anything to hurt Sam. You just can’t. With those jutted lips and sparkling eyes.

Do his eyes always sparkle like that?

His laugh coerces you out of your daydream and— when did he move his chair closer? “Answer me, then we’ll talk about whatever you want.”

Including his eyes?

“Yes.” You should invest in tape if you’re going to start blurting out your thoughts.

“I wasn’t uncomfortable but I need space sometimes. I get overwhelmed easily and I don’t mean it in a bad way but my mind just organizes things better when I’m alone.” He nods, looks down at your hand on the table and takes it in his, it jolts you and you look up at him. “And— sometimes holding me or just touching me overwhelms me and if I ask you to stop it isn’t because of you.”

“Like now?”

You shake your head quickly, pressing your fingers into his to assure him. “No, not now.”

“Yesterday?” You answer no and he smiles. “So you just needed to think?”

“Yes.”

“And you thought doing all of this was better than just telling me that you needed time to think.” Well, when you put it like that… “Can I kiss you?”

“What?”

“Can I kiss you?” You should probably think about this logically before you answer— who will see you and stuff, but you’re nodding yes and he’s leaning in faster than your mind can comprehend.

It’s short, and when you pull away, you’re still so close, “so you’re not mad?”

“I’ll never be mad if you tell me how you feel or what you need.” Hell of a promise to keep, Winchester.

“Jess, come on, you know me!” The argument is a futile one, and you’re aware of it.

“I know, and that's why I'm so disappointed. You slept at his house? On my girlfriend's bed?” Right, so maybe you left the important details out like you’re make-out session in the middle of the night and both of you decide to take it slow but ultimately are in a relationship. Speaking of, this means exclusive, right? Fuck, you should’ve asked.

“That’s— whatever! I didn’t do anything stupid, don’t worry.” Biggest understatement of the century but you just can’t bring yourself to tell her anything yet. Besides, you have exams soon and that seems like a much more important task to focus on.

“Look, babe, I’m not saying I’m angry, but you promised you’d be careful.”

“I was!”

“No you’re not. You get attached easily, and you love way too fast— Sam can control himself! If you two stop talking tomorrow he wouldn’t feel the same way you would.” It fucking burns more than anything in the world to hear it from Jess. Especially from her. Possibly because she knows you best and it would mean that what she’s saying is true, and you’re not ready to face that.

She’s right, though, and you’ve always known it. But it isn’t like that with Sam— it hasn’t been like that since you came to college. Not that Jess was with you before it but you’ve told her almost everything about you, past and present, so her words come from a place of analyzation. And love.

“I’m different now. And he’s different.”

She shrugs, moving closer, a hand on both your shoulders, “I couldn’t care less about Sam,” lie, “but I will not allow anyone to hurt you. Ever.”

And it shouldn’t be that comforting considering she’s only a twenty one year old woman who’s never had a stable job in her life and hasn’t talked to her parents in two years, but it is. It’s the most comfort you've felt the whole week, and you bring her in for a hug because of it.

For all her advice, she’s wrong about one thing. You’re not all-in with Sam. You’re scared, fucking petrified of what this could lead to, but you’re not in high school anymore, your responsibilities aren’t just ‘study and maybe get a top grade’. In uni you can very easily get kicked off— and outside of school, you have to go back home in a month. Unlike your hopeless romantic fourteen-year-old self, you’re aware of your goals.

And maybe you can’t say it out loud to Jess yet, but you’re proud of yourself for recognizing it within yourself. part six; baby, don’t get it twisted.

title: love notes by alexa cirri

prompt: person a: ‘come on, you know me!’ person b: ‘I know, and that's why I'm so disappointed.’ from @alphabetquest !!

they finally kissed!!!!! Is this the beginning of their relationship?? I’ve had too much angst for now so I’m thinking next chapter they just cuddle the whole time. comment if you wanna be tagged!

tag list:

@angzls @chxrrybomb22 @pinkpantheris @ang3ldool @iloveragdollcats

@oohjana18294 @user-2538484747490203746579403 @wattpaduser200 @s0urw00lf @ashlynyyyyy

@strabarrybat @anu-piyakya97 @tranquilitybasegrunge

#supernatural #AlphabetQuestSubmission #sam winchester #supernatural imagine #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester x oc #sam winchester x y/n #sam winchester x reader

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popquizhot-shot · 1 year

Text

Father Mine- 3

ok so this is where canon goes out the window, ive made my own universe, this might be blasphemy against marvel comics but i dont know. Honestly i made this up as i kept going and i like how this chapter ended<3 tell me how you like it! if you want a spoiler go to the tags and see what i've tagged :) part 1

You must have passed out because you wake up in someone’s living room.

“Anyone home?” You dare to call out. The apartment is sort of open-plan and if you had the energy to turn around and move you would have been able to see the man in the white suit staring at you.

“Yep. Hello!” The man walks up to you and you flinch at his strong southern london accent and glaring white suit that makes him look like a psycho Colonel Sanders, “I hope you’re alright, Khonshu said you were from another dimension?”

You reluctantly reply, “That’s right? And by Khonshu do you mean the actual Egyptian God?”

He nods excitedly, “Yea! Right twit he is!”

You look at him worriedly, maybe he is psycho colonel sanders after all.

He looks at himself in the mirror and does a double take, “Oh bollocks! No wonder you look scared!” The suit disappears to reveal a man with wild curls in an oversize t-shirt and pajamas, “sorry, sometimes I forget I still have it on.” He smiles nervously, “Um I’m Steven. With a V.”

That causes you to smile a little, maybe he’s not so bad, “Hello Steven.” You wave from your position on the couch and tell him your name.

Behind him you see a bony pigeon looking skeleton appear and your eyes widen, “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!” You point at it and scream.

Steven turns around, “That’s Khonshu, you can see him?”

“NO SHIT!” You web a wall and pull yourself up to stick to it, glaring at the offending creature.

“That’s mental.” He exclaims.

“What universe is this?” You ask him, eyes narrowed underneath your mask.

“Well, there’s no particular name for it.” Steven begins, but Khonshu intervenes, “How is it that you were able to traverse through the inter dimensional planes?”

“I knew someone who could.”

Suddenly Stevens demeanour changes and your spider sense tingles, you ready your webs against the potential threat.

The voice that comes out of Stevens mouth is not his. It’s the sound of the man who threw you here.

“Kid?” He says when you freeze and take your mask off, looking at him with wide eyes.

“You’re-You’re not Steven.” Your voice breaks at the familiar lilt.

He shakes his head, “My name is Marc.”

———————————-

“Miguel! Stop it!” Jess finally snaps and the man looks up at her.

She takes a hold of his hair and uses it to maneuver his face to look at him, “You either go and get her back, or you fucking move on. Because in this state there is no way you will be able to do anything. Get your shit together. ”

He gulps, not used to seeing her angry side often and nods.

“She thinks I’m a monster.” He looks down at his toes and breathes shakily.

“Then prove to her that you’re not. You’re her father, regardless of what she says, she still loves you. You need to apologize to her.” She looks at him pointedly and he sighs.

"What do you want me to say, 'Hey honey, I know what I did was wrong, I was wrong to chase a teenager and I was too blinded by my fear of losing my daughter again that I chased you away. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.' Thats not going to be good enough."

"It's a start."

"Jessica." he looks up

"What?"

"I should have told you, something about her."

"What?"

"She's not a normal variant, even if her universe was destroyed. That fact alone makes her a special case. There's a reason I sent her to Earth 19999. Her atoms and dna will not glitch there. And I don't know why."

"Why didn't you send her there before?"

"It was too dangerous."

"As opposed to Earth 1999999?" Jess raises an eyebrow.

"Very similar universes, but everything is flipped."

The woman tilts her head, "What do you mean?"

————-

You sip on the hot tea Steven had made for you, glaring at the bony god sitting opposite you.

“I cannot send you back, child.” He says and you roll your eyes,

“As if I didn’t know that. The tea’s lovely, thank you.” You smile at Steven who beams at you. He’s much nicer than the American man living inside him. The one who was Miguel in this universe.

“Marc?”

He nods, “I happen to know of someone who can help you.”

You tilt your head, “Go on.”

He went to explain how he was on call as an Avenger, who were considered the world’s mightiest heroes, and how he was acquainted with someone known as Dr Strange.

As soon as he says, the name Strange, your mind considers the possibility that you might be in the universe of idiots, as Miguel calls it. Earth-1999999.

He’s spent whole hours explaining the entire storyline that honestly came out of a movie to you and while it was such, really Captain America you ditched your best friend to go be with someone who had already moved on? You were drawn to the universe.

It reminded you very much of your home universe that was destroyed.

When you’d nodded and said you’d be on your way he’d blocked you from leaving. Saying it was too dangerous and that you were being an irresponsible person.

You tried to reason with him but he was able to block your punches with efficiency, and he reached for your web slingers. The ones Miguel had given you.

That was currently why there was a purple bruise on Stevens’s cheek that you felt bad about. This sweet man didn’t deserve to suffer the consequences of a hard punch. So you had helped him around the kitchen and he made you tea as a way of saying thank you.

“If you can’t take me away, you can atleast lead me to Strange, considering your own Knight isn’t letting me leave.”

“For good reason.”

“But it doesn’t make sense, without the watch I would be glitching every three seconds because the universe would not accept my genes. Here I haven’t glitched a single time.”

The god tilts his head and seems to contemplate your words, mimicking the man who looks at you with his head tilted, “Most interesting.”

Whatever you were going to say died on your tongue as orange sparks began to appear out of thin air, forming a circle and then a portal out of which a man with a weird beard walks through. He nods at Steven and walks over to you, “So you’re the one huh?”

“No, your mom is.” You snarl, “Yes. Doctor Strange, I’ve heard of you.”

“Oh?” He raises an eyebrow, “Am I a common topic of conversation in the multiverse?”

“When we have to make fun of something yes.” You grin.

He rolls his eyes, “How did you arrive here?”

“Look I'd leave if I could, sir. But my device was taken away by the jerk who sent me here.”

His eyes narrow, “Sent you?”

Shit, you might have said the wrong thing.

------------------

"So you're not from here." The sorcerer supreme raises his eyebrow at you.

"No, sir." you're shocked at your politeness, but the man demands respect.

"And you cannot go back?"

"No."

"There is only one person now, who is capable of autonomous multiverse travel, America Chavez. And even her powers are not perfect. It is too risky to do this."

"What would you have me do then?" you ask.

"Wait here, there must be a reason you are not glitching. Maybe, you were meant to be sent here." Strange reasons.

His words make sense, honestly, maybe this universe would be your new home. Even back in Nueva York, you had to wear the watch at all times, or you'd be glitching.

But did Miguel know that? Because if he didn't know, then that would mean he'd sent you to your death.

You just nod at what Strange says, his words going in one year and out the other. You miss the way his eyes glint and flash. His shadow moving under him.

"She can stay with us at the tower." Steven puts his hand on your shoulder, looking directly at Strange, no smile on his face. After a few moments, the Doctor nods.

Your spider sense starts to tingle, and you glace at Steven, who only smiles at you. All teeth. Eyes that are blank. Devoid of emotion.

Now that you're here to stay, he looks like he's never been happier.

"You're going to enjoy yourself here, love." he pats your shoulder, "We'll all have a bit of fun."

You need to run.

#miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #marc spector #atsv miguel #father mine #mini miguel<33 #mandela catalogue #atsv

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vodika-vibes · 6 months

Note

Absolutely forgot about your new event! Congrats on the five hundred follower count vod'ika! I may send in a few, but for this oneI'm going with my birth stone, clone husband, and fave season <3

May I have Garnet with Rex in summer, where maybe he spots reader (fem or gn!) looking extremely uncomfortable from unwanted attention (nothing inherentlyuncomfortble in terms of sexually harassing or being violent, but just highly intimidating) when it's dusk? And Rex shoos the person away?

Hero

Summary: Rex’s favorite part of the day is when he’s able to pull away from his work to spend time with his girl. He’s not so impressed, though, when he goes to find her and sees her getting threatened by someone nearly a foot taller than her.

Pairing: Captain Rex x F!Reader

Word Count: 658

Prompt: Garnet - Protective Love

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: Thank you! I hope you like this story. Protective Love is hard while having a word count limit, lol, but I hope you like it anyway~

This is his favorite part of the day.

His idiots, and he calls them that with all of the love in his heart, have been released to go and get drunk or whatever it is that they do with their free time. And he’s finally able to leave the barracks to go and meet up with his girl.

It’s hot and miserable outside, which means they’ll probably head back to her place to lounge by her pool.

For a moment, just a moment, Rex allows himself to fantasize about his stunning love clad in a blue bikini, while the setting sun paints her with golden highlights and makes her look like an actual goddess deserving of worship.

And then he shoves the thought to the back of his mind, and continues to their meeting spot.

His good mood remains, right up until he gets to the meeting spot and sees his cyare looking very uncomfortable with a man towering over her. She takes half a step back, and then man advances on her, to remain right in her personal space.

Rex scowls as he inserts himself into the situation. No one is allowed to make his cyare uncomfortable. “Sorry I’m late, cyare.” Rex says as he presses himself between his cyare and the stranger.

He feels her hand curl around his bicep, her touch light, “You’re not late, I showed up early.”

Rex lightly pats the hand wrapped around his arm, and he smiles slightly when she drops her hand. And then he focuses his attention on the stranger, who looks deeply, deeply annoyed that Rex interjected.

“Can we help you?” Rex’s voice is mild, but there’s a thread of durasteel and a hint of violence there as well. His cyare likely won’t pick up on it…but the stranger definitely does based on how he grimaces.

“Nah. I was just…” The stranger pauses, “It doesn’t matter.” He turns and stalks away. Rex doesn’t turn to his cyare, though, until he’s sure that no one is going to start anything.

And then he turns to his cyare, and all of the negative emotions he’d been feeling fade away as though they were never there.

“I’m sorry,” She says, as she steps into his space, sliding into his welcoming arms, “I didn’t mean for you to have to get involved.”

“Hey,” He rests his chin on her head, “It’s my genuine pleasure to be able to protect you, cyare.”

She hums softly, “You shouldn’t have to protect me. I should be safe here.”

“Well, until you are, you have me to be your sword and shield.”

A laugh falls from his cyare, “Oh, when did you become charming, Rex?” She asks as she pulls away to look up at him, fondness in her gaze.

Rex’s face heats, “Well…you know…Jesse-”

She laughs again, “You don’t have to change yourself for me, Rex. I love you just as you are. Awkwardness and all.” She takes his hand in hers, “Now, let’s go home. It’s hot.”

“We’re going swimming?” He asks, maybe more than a little hopeful.

She grins and nods, “I bought us matching swimsuits. They were on sale.”

“What kind of swimsuits?” Rex asks as he falls into step with her.

“For you?”

“For you.”

She giggles and and moves so she’s walking backwards in front of him, one finger coming out to lightly tap his nose, “It’s a secret~”

“That means it’s a bikini, right?” Rex asks, not even bothering to hide the direction his thoughts have gone.

“It means it’s a secret.” She leans in, “But I promise you’ll like it.”

“Cyar’ika. You could walk around in a burlap sack, and I’d still like it.” He pauses, “Or ribbons-”

“Really? Ribbons?”

He smiles innocently, “If you want.”

“I think you’ve been spending too much time with Fives and Jesse.”

“Yeah, but they give the best ideas.”

She shakes her head with a laugh, “Come on, Rex. Let’s go home.”

#star wars #tcw #vodika vibes 500 followers celebration #captain rex x reader #rex x reader #star wars fanfiction #x reader fanfiction #f!reader fic #answered asks

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guiltyasdave · 7 months

Text

end game

series masterlist • this is part VII

pairing: Dave York x f!reader

word count: ~3.8k

summary: Heartbreak, an explanation and an epilogue.

warnings/tags: explicit smut (-> 18+ only!), angst, feelings, heartbreak, depression, mention of weight loss, fluff, able-bodied reader, reader has hair, dom!Dave, sub!reader, sir kink, degradation kink, fingering, unprotected p in v (it's never stated in the fic but i headcanon that reader is on birth control), basically free use kink, rough sex, dirty talk, spanking, spit kink, praise kink, Dave is a menace, praise kink, idiots in love, please let me know if i missed anything!

a/n: the biggest thank you to @joelscurls for letting me scream about this again and againnnnn, and reading over my drafts countless times, you’re the best, jess! <3

thank you to @daddy-dins-girl for talking plot holes with me and motivating me to write <3

thank you to everyone who has read and loved this series, i have received sooooo many kind words, feedback and just so much love. i started writing this as a pwp oneshot and the fact that it has turned into my first series ever and one that i had soooo much fun with is wild. i’m incredibly emotional about saying goodbye to my babies, maybe i’ll revisit them when i need to write some kinky shit out of my system haha. i hope that you like the ending that i’ve built for them.

a few words about the plot: i actually have zero clue how the hitman business works (shocker, i know), so some parts of this are purposefully vague in a way that i hope is believable and somewhat realistic. just roll with it, thanks :D

dividers as always by @saradika-graphics 🫶🏻

find my full masterlist here & follow @guiltyasdavenotifs for fic updates.

The first week you don’t hear from Dave, you’re confused, but not necessarily worried yet. There have been weeks of silence in the past, though you’ll admit that you had thought that things might be… different now.

Your texts to him stay on delivered, never switching to read. Which has also happened before, especially when he was away on business, but still… The thought that he has gone back to his normal life without sparing as much as a glance back at your time together is nagging at you.

You can still feel his hands on your skin, can still hear him whisper in your ear how beautiful you look, how perfect you are for him. It’s hard to come to terms with the thought that it wasn’t real, that his words and actions didn’t hold the same weight for him that they did for you. Reality has finally caught up to you and it hurts.

When two weeks blend into three weeks and you’ve still heard nothing, you start getting worried. He had said his line of work was dangerous, after all.

Your conversation, still so close and yet a lifetime ago, echoes in your mind. 'Nothing's gonna happen,’ you had said. ‘Not to the girls, not to me. And not to you.’ And not to you. ‘You don’t know that, sweetheart,’ his voice rings through your head. Sweetheart. The word tastes bitter on your tongue and wraps itself around your chest until you feel like you’re choking with it, like you can’t draw breath into your lungs anymore.

Sweetheart.

You don’t know that.

Sweetheart.

You start looking him up online, to find anything that might at least tell you that he’s okay. You don’t want to believe that he would be cruel enough to ghost you, but you barely dare to consider the alternative. You find nothing, no mention of his name, like he doesn’t even exist.

Your calls stay unanswered, your messages stay unread. You find yourself subconsciously checking your texts and your emails countless times a day, catch yourself staring out of your window in the blind hope that he might appear outside. He wouldn’t just leave you like this, would he? Would he?

Days blur into weeks and eventually into months. You’re painfully aware that it’s not healthy, this kind of heartbreak, especially not over a relationship that never even meant anything. If only your heart would understand that.

It was never serious enough that you told any of your friends about it, never wanted to be labeled as the girl that sleeps with married men, never wanted to admit your feelings to someone else when you could barely admit them to yourself. Regardless, even without knowing what exactly was going on, your friends had tried to be there for you, to convince you to go out with them, to cheer you up, but you had turned them down often enough that on this Friday night, your phone stays silent.

It’s better this way. All you want to do is rot away on your couch, staring at the TV with unseeing eyes until it’s an acceptable time to go to bed. Maybe it won’t take you hours of lying in the dark to fall asleep tonight. Maybe it won’t remind you of a different kind of darkness in a different room, a room where the sound of waves against the shore and the deep breaths beside you lulled you to sleep.

You need to get yourself together, your inner voice whispers. Next week, you think. Or the one after that.

A knock on your door shakes you out of your thoughts and you pad over, expecting to be met with the Chinese takeout that you had ordered in hopes of fueling your appetite at least a bit with the prospect of comfort food. Absentmindedly, you note the surprisingly short delivery time. You barely look up as you swing the door open, busy fiddling with your purse to extract a few dollar bills.

After finally managing to pull them out, you face the doorway. A greeting dies in your throat.

Familiar deep brown eyes burn into yours, framed by the face that you wish you’d forget but can’t. The short brown hair, the clean shaven jawline that you can still feel underneath your fingertips, the memory all too fresh in your mind. He looks tired, you think, and instantly scold yourself for knowing him well enough to even notice.

The seconds tick by as you motionlessly stare at him, blinking slowly, your mind running a mile a minute. Why is he here? He can’t be here. Are you making this up? If so, things are far worse than you had thought.

He clears his throat, shifting his weight uncomfortably. It’s probably the least sure of himself that you’ve ever seen him.

“Hey,” he murmurs, his hand twitching like he almost reached out to you but changed his mind. “Can I- can I come in?”

You regard him for a moment longer. The sound of his voice makes him appear more real, and the fog in your head slowly clears. He’s alive. He’s here. In front of your door. Alive and well. Your emotions boil up inside of you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?! You think you can just show up here after months and ask if you can come in? I thought you were… I thought…”

Your voice betrays you, breaking at the sharp sting of pain in your chest that you’ve fruitlessly tried to suppress and the feeling of your throat closing up. Tears spill over and you furiously wipe at your cheeks, determined to keep some semblance of dignity.

“I know,” Dave breathes, defeatedly. “I’m so sorry. Please let me explain.” His hand reaches towards you again. You shy away from his touch and an expression of hurt ripples across his face. “Please, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Your voice only trembles a little as you snap at him. After another look at his face, you eventually step aside and jerk your head towards your living area. You briefly think about how messy the place is, for how many weeks you didn’t have it in yourself to clean up. You can’t bring yourself to care. Seeing him walk through your flat again after being so painfully aware of his absence leaves you almost dizzy. You take the opposite ends of your couch, both of your bodies stiff, careful not to touch one another.

“Okay,” you sigh. “Explain.”

So he explains. How he received a call, barely thirty minutes after he stepped into his house, with a mission that was too perfect of an opportunity to pass it up. There had been no time to let you know, the risk too high to use his personal phone once he started working.

He goes back to the persona that took up half of his life for so long, the identity that is no more, the man that fell down a watchtower and was washed away by the sea. Body never found. At least that’s what everyone who knew this man thinks. Everyone who knew him, but not Dave York.

He’s been thorough with it, with the most important mission he’s ever done. There are no loose ends, no one who could trace things back to the real him.

It took longer than he had anticipated and he kept laying low afterwards, until he could be absolutely sure that no one would be looking for him anymore.

He doesn’t think that he’ll ever get rid of the worry, ever stop looking over his shoulder, but rationally, he knows that he did it. He got out.

Then he had talked to Carol, let her know that he wants a divorce. It had been- easy, almost. She didn’t cry, didn’t scream at him, just nodded like she had known this day would come for a long time. He thinks that she almost seemed relieved, in a way.

Your eyes had been glued to his face since he started speaking. Tears are silently running down your cheeks.

“I know that I should have found a way to contact you. I didn’t-” He sighs, running a hand over his face. “I didn’t know what to do. I was so worried that someone would find out about you. I never wanted to hurt you, you have to believe that.” He knows that he looks a mess, that his desperation to make you understand is written all over his features.

Every day that he didn’t call you, he knew that he was hurting you. He tried justifying it with himself, that having you think he left you was better than risking somebody coming after you. It never gave him much comfort.

It’s even worse, now that he sees the damage he had done. You have lost weight, deep circles have formed under your eyes and you move like you’re barely holding yourself together. He saw the panic on your face when he tried reaching for you at the door. No matter what he had done to you in the past, you always sought out the safety of his touch afterwards. Until now.

“Please believe me,” he whispers.

You study his face for what feels like a lifetime. Tears are glistening on your lashes. You look so tired, so defeated that it makes his heart ache.

“You’ve done it?” you finally ask. Your voice is a quiet thing, barely bridging the distance between the two of you. A flicker of hope rings with it. “You’re safe now?”

He nods silently, fighting the urge to gather you in his arms, to promise you that he’ll always be there from now on. A small smile curves your lips upward as you mirror his nod, like you’re trying to let this new reality sink in.

“That’s good,” you murmur.

You lean forward, your fingers tentatively closing around his fist that’s clenched tightly against his thigh.

Hope flickers inside his chest. He can taste the three words that he’s been wanting to say to you for far too long on the tip of his tongue. He’s not going to, not right now, not today. But someday soon, he thinks that he might.

Two years later

“Bye girls, say hi to your mom and Matt from me,” you smile, embracing each of them in a tight hug before they dash out of the door, a jumble of giggles and excited chatter. Dave trails behind them with a grin on his face, pecking your lips and calling out for them to slow down.

Your heart is full, overflowing with love for this family that, against all odds, has become yours. You watch Dave usher his daughters into the car and push the doors closed behind them, the smile still on your lips. As you walk back into the house, your eyes linger on the thin silver band adorning your ring finger.

It’s still new, still an unexpected sight when you catch it on the edge of your periphery. It’s the tangible proof of you being the happiest you’ve ever been.

Things had been rough at first, after Dave came back to you. You understood why he handled the situation the way he did, but it took you a long time to trust that he wouldn’t disappear again. To believe that he left his old life behind, that he chose you. But he did.

You busy yourself with cleaning up the inevitable chaos that having the girls over for Dave’s days with them always creates. It’s not the life that you would have expected yourself to have a few years ago, but right now, it feels like you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

A few minutes later, your phone pings with a message from Dave.

Be back in 15. I expect you naked and on your knees waiting by the door.

You bite your lip, heat building inside you with rapid speed. Your phone pings again.

Don’t disappoint me.

Fuck. Wetness is already gathering between your legs as you jump into action.

The car door slamming shut has never sounded so good before. You’re listening intently, catching Dave’s heavy footsteps on the stairs and the jingle of his keys before the door opens beside where you’re kneeling.

You look up at him from your place on the floor, watching the mix of smugness and adoration on his face as he takes in your position. A shudder runs through you and your nipples harden under his demanding gaze. He steps closer, caressing your cheek.

“Such a good girl… my obedient little wife, aren’t you?”

“Yes, sir,” you whimper, the coherent thoughts slowly draining from your brain and craving more of his touch, more of him.

He smiles down at you, his eyes glinting predatorily. You’ve come to know this shift into the darkness since you first met, but it’s more playful these days, not laced with the urgency that possessed him back then. Still, he gets intense, especially after having the girls over forces you to keep things rather tame during those days.

“Show me your ass, face on the ground, come on,” he demands coldly.

You obey without question, turning around and bending forward, pressing your upper body down to the floor and presenting your backside to him. He lands a couple of slaps on your cheeks and you flinch, moaning out softly. Your pussy already feels slick with arousal.

“What do you say?” he asks, rubbing his hand over the heated skin.

“Thank you, sir,” you whisper.

Another slap hits you. “Do you know what you did to deserve this?”

You wrack your brain for a few moments, but come up blank.

“I- no, sir.” Your voice is small and breathy, your body bracing for the impact of his hand again.

He chuckles. “Nothing. I just felt like it.” Another slap. “And you’re mine to do as I please, isn’t that right?” Your thighs are trembling. You’re so wet that it feels like you’re dripping onto the floor.

“Yes, sir. Thank you.”

“You know what’s the most fucked up about this?” He crouches down beside your face and strokes your cheek softly, smiling down at you. “How much you whore like it.”

He straightens up and heads for the stairs. “Bedroom, come on.”

You don’t even try standing up, knowing that he won’t let you, and crawl behind him, which earns you another chuckle and a “good girl”.

The image of your naked form on your knees behind Dave who hasn’t removed a stitch of clothing sends another bolt of arousal through you. You’re desperate for him to touch you.

He roughly lifts you up and manhandles you onto the bed until you’re spread out underneath him.

“So…” He grabs your wrists and holds them over your head, pressing them into the mattress. “These stay right here, you hear me? Don’t move, or do I have to restrain you?”

You pout at the prospect of not being allowed to put your hands on him, but obediently hold them in place when he eases his grip on you. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

He grins down at you. “I know you will. Got my girl well trained, haven’t I?”

His words make your pussy clench around nothing and your “yes, sir” comes out in a whimper.

He leans in closer, spreading your thighs wider with his body and you force yourself not to buck your hips up against him. The craving for any part of him to touch you, for any kind of friction, is overwhelming.

“Please, sir,” you whisper. Your pleading eyes hold his cold gaze as he’s leaning over you.

“Patience,” he growls. “Open your mouth.” A disapproving click of his tongue. “Wider.”

You part your lips as widely as you can, sticking your tongue out and trying not to squirm against the sheets. He remains motionless for a few seconds, taking in your desperate state with a cruel smirk on his face.

“Fuck,” he murmurs, more to himself than to you. Then he tips his head forward and spits into your waiting mouth. The filthy feeling of his saliva coating your tongue and filling your mouth almost drives you insane with want and you groan, shifting against his thick thighs between yours, but to no avail. You wait for his next command, your mouth still wide open, not daring to swallow before he tells you to.

But no command comes. Instead, he reaches up to press two fingers down on your tongue, dipping into your mouth and smearing your combined spit over your face. The silver band on his ring finger is cool against your skin and you shudder, loving the reminder that he’s really, entirely yours.

Your body feels like it’s burning up, your hands are twitching and you’re desperate to move them, to touch him, to do something, but you hold yourself still until he finally tells you to, “swallow, baby.”

He smiles and finds your lips for a surprisingly soft kiss, cupping your face in his hands. “You’re being so good,” he tells you gently. “Are you having fun?”

“Yes,” you smile, chasing his lips when he pulls back, but he tuts at you and you fall back against the bed, huffing out a breath. “Just… please.”

“Patience,” he reminds you, the softness gone as quick as it came. “Don’t make me tell you again.”

You bite your lip, but stay put while he stands up to finally start removing his clothes. He’s agonizingly slow with it, holding your hungry gaze while he unbuttons his shirt in unhurried movements that make you want to tear the clothes off his body yourself.

You drink him in, first the sight of his broad chest and his strong shoulders, then his muscular legs, and finally, making your mouth water and your pussy burn with desire, his cock.

As much as he keeps taunting you, you know him well enough by now to be able to tell that he’s just as desperate for you as you are for him, even when he’s trying to conceal it. He returns to you, sitting back on his haunches and drinking you in, until after what feels like hours, he finally reaches out and swirls his fingers through the wetness between your legs. It’s a barely there touch, but you’re so painfully turned on and sensitive that you let out a gasp.

“So fucking wet,” he marvels and applies the slightest bit of pressure to your clit. It’s enough to make you see stars and you’re sure that he could make you come just from this. But, of course he won’t. He laughs at your reaction and retracts his hand to lean forward instead until he’s on top of you again, your legs spread wide to accommodate him and his cock slides through your folds.

He lowers his head to nip and suck at the skin under your jaw, one hand toying with your breasts and your hardened nipples. Your whole body is buzzing, he’s so close and it’s so much, but it’s not enough, not enough, not enough.

“What do you want, baby?” he asks, peppering your skin with kisses and rocking his hips in small movements that make his cock nudge at your clit over and over.

“F-fuck me, please, I’ll do anything,” you beg, your body still obediently stretched out underneath him with your arms above your head. He nods wordlessly and reaches down to position himself at your soaking entrance.

“Be as loud as you want,” he growls against your neck. “I missed making you scream.”

He bites at your skin at the same time as his thrust into you punches the air from your lungs. You scream, just like he asked, as he hammers into you, his lips still attached to your neck, sucking and biting at the delicate skin. The sensation of finally being filled by him, of feeling the stinging stretch of the way he forcefully pounds into you is like heaven. You think that you’re talking, crying out a mix of his name and sir and please over and over.

You’re flying towards your climax and judging from his groans, he can already feel you tighten around him.

“Go ahead,” he groans, before you’ve even strung the words to ask for permission together in your mind. “Come for me, sweetheart.”

He pinches your nipple just once and the additional sensation is enough to send you flying, your pussy clenching around his cock and drenching him in your arousal as you scream out his name. It’s pure bliss, and you never want to come down.

“That’s it,” he growls, not slowing his movements, fucking you through the aftershocks until you’re a whining mess beneath him, “that’s my perfect girl, fuck-”

You force your eyes open to smile up at him, taking in the wrecked expression on his face, relishing in the knowledge that you’re the one to make him look like this. You just really wish you could touch him.

“P-please, can I-” you’re breathless, barely able to speak, and jerk your head towards your hands above you.

“Yeah,” he rasps, his thrusts somehow growing even more forceful, “do whatever you want, baby.”

Your hands fly towards his body, touching every inch of his skin that you can reach, nails digging into his back and fingers grasping at his hair, pulling him closer, closer, until he’s everywhere, all you can see, all you can taste, all you can feel.

“Fuck!” he swears, grabbing your shoulders and holding you in place as he’s pounding into you, “give me another one, touch yourself, come on-”

His thrusts are becoming erratic and you know that he’s close to his own climax. It only takes a few swipes of your fingers over your clit until you’re coming again, soaring through the heights of your pleasure, your whole body trembling with your release. Dave’s hips stutter and he comes with a shout, pulsing inside of your fluttering pussy until finally, you both still.

He drops his sweat-slicked forehead against your chest, peppering your skin with kisses and engulfing you in the warmth of his arms. After cleaning you up, he moves your bodies until you’re tucked against his side, one arm thrown across his chest while he holds you close.

You’ll never get tired of the feeling of his naked body against yours, of the way he feels like he was made for you. By now, you can admit that he had always felt like this.

“I love you,” he says, lips moving against your hair.

You press your face deeper into his neck. “I love you.”

It’s easy, now. Words that you say every day.

…and i love YOU, thank you for reading! 🤍 if you liked this, a reblog or a comment would absolutely make my day.

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