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keelywolfe · 5 years ago

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FIC: Winter Makes You Laugh a Little Slower

Summary: Rus is all by himself for the day. Finally.Surely he won't manage to get into trouble.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Brotherly Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Pregnancy, More Angst

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Chapter List

What Will Be, Will Be

Something To Say, But Nothing Comes

Can’t Go On, Thinking Nothing’s Wrong

Seldom All They Seem

Voices Are Heard But Nothing Is Seen

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Read it on AO3

Read it here!

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This morning was probably as alone as Rus had been in weeks. Ever since a little spark showed up to orbit his soul, he felt like he'd been under constant supervision from one person or another. But not today.

Today, his brother was already gone to train with Alphys. Edge was gone, back to his own world to go through his own morning routine that Rus didn’t ask too many questions about and Red wasn’t downstairs stinking up the sofa with his mustard fumes. Guard duty seemed to be over, for now. Red still checked in from time to time to raid the fridge and Rus thought maybe he caught a flash of a tragically emo jacket out of the corner of his socket once or twice, but the danger time was before the souling descended. Once it moved on to baby mode, all that was left was the wait.

(And if Red’s sudden absence was disturbing his peace, niggling thoughts of something he almost remembered, Rus wasn’t gonna dig in too deep. He had plenty of his own shit to worry about without adding Red’s nasty soup du jour)

Yep, all alone—except for the kid who was making a pretty good attempt to give Rus a matching set of bruises on either side of his spinal column. He wasn’t complaining too loudly about it; he��d known what he was signing up for, but damn, the kid would have to take after Edge in the energy department. Sometimes it felt like they were trying to use his rib cage as a jungle gym.

Anywho, now seemed like a perfect opportunity to take advantage of the lack of supervision and head out to take care of something before Rus managed to put it off. Again.

Rus dug through their hall closet, pawing through mittens who’d lost their mate and sandals that never got worn, a tennis racket, the leash for the pet rock. Searching until he found a pair of boots in his size. Normally, Rus alternated between his fuzzy slippers and his sneakers, but then, normally he didn't end up standing in the snow for very long. His morning exercise routine used to be a quick shortcut to his sentry post where his tootsies would be propped up out of the slush as he settled into nap mode.

But since it’d been unanimously decided that he shouldn’t teleport while he was smuggling skittens under his shirt, this trip would have to be made on foot.

Yay.

Wasn’t a quick little stroll around the block, either. Once he got out of Snowdin proper, his path led through the woods. Past all the Buns’ sentry stations with a few quick pauses to scratch behind ears, trying to fend off any excited rabbity enthusiasm. Everyone in Snowdin knew by now, his little butterball belly might not be real obvious with his loose sweatshirt, but he’d told Muffet when he went to pay off his tab, just to explain why he wasn’t stopping in as much.

There was no gossiper like someone with hundreds of spiderlings at their disposal.

So far, seemed like everyone was okay about it. Not that he was thinking anyone was gonna kick them out of town or anything, Monsters didn’t usually roll that way, but it was kinda nice to have it confirmed. His own link in the gossip chain told him the big question buzzing around was who is the daddy. On the Undernet, there was a betting pool and there were a lotta names from some of his old one-nighters on the list.

He really hoped Blue was the one with a hefty bet on ‘other’.

Scrolling through the list only made Rus scoff. It was almost insulting, really. Sex was one thing, one great, messy, fun thing, but did anyone really think he would’ve shared his soul with any of them? Not likely.

(He still had a hard time believing he’d done it with Edge; impulsive, sure, but not usually that impulsive. The memory of it was blurry, pleasure-soaked and sweet, Edge desperately asking and him blindly agreeing, the hot press of souls, the brilliant surge of magic between them)

Seeing the Buns was good, though. Once he’d been taken off sentry duty and toned down on the visits to Muffet’s, he didn’t see them much anymore, and he couldn’t help laughing as all of them hopped over to wriggle excitedly around him. Even Greater Bun scrambled out of their armor in the hopes of more pets.

They were too polite to nose at his brand-new belly, (most of them, anyway, Lesser Bun gave it a hopeful nudge, but sighed sadly when Rus stepped back before he obligingly went back for the normal scritches, teeth chattering happily)

But they all loved little ones of any kind, had to really when they had that many of their own. Bunaressa accepted pats almost solemnly, whispering to him. *I am knitting something for your baby.*

“that’s really sweet of you,” Rus said, honestly. He crouched down where Bunamy was flopped in the snow and gave him a furious scratching behind his long ears while he huffed out a contented groan, “don’t forget, they aren’t gonna have a tail, so only four limbs and a head.”

Both of them laughed in their bunny way even as Rus struggled to stand back up. His belly wasn’t that big yet, but he wasn’t exactly used to having one at all so it threw his balance a little off. He wobbled unsteadily, almost dropping back into the snow.

Bunamy caught his elbow, steadying him, “Careful, there. Do you need us to come along?”

*Yes, we can come along, keep you safe!*

“that’s super nice of you guys, but i’m good,” Rus grimaced. The last thing he wanted was another bodyguard, he’d only just kicked the habit.

Bunno was the only one a little distant, eh, no surprise there. He’d been that way since Rus shut down the pussy factory. There was probably some pun in there about cats and rabbits, but Rus wasn’t much in the mood to figure it out. He left Bunno smoking his carrot, heading further down the path.

Out here, the woods were quieter, the only sound his boots crunching on the frozen path. He went past his own sentry post where no one was currently stationed. Not much to see there and Rus wondered if Alphys would assign him back after the kid was born. He wasn’t sure. He had to work, no option there, he wasn’t about to let Blue be the only one bringing in the G. But he also wasn’t sure yet what they were gonna do about the skitten. He kicked idly at a pinecone as he walked, shoving that thought out of his mind. One thing at a time.

Onward, ho. Through the too-wide bars on the bridge that were almost not too-wide enough for his growing belly. He squeezed between them and earned a hearty kick in his floating rib for his trouble. Seemed like the kid didn’t care for the walls closing in, who could blame ‘em? Rus gave his belly a soothing rub, murmuring, “easy, baby, no more squeezing.”

Until they went home, but eh, that bad news could come up later.

The walk was taking more out of him than he’d expected, and Rus was panting by the time he got to the door, wiping his sweaty forehead on his sleeve before it could freeze to his skull. Probably Red would have a fit if he heard about the lack of hat and gloves, but it turned out building a skitten from scratch made a fella pretty damn hot. There were times Rus felt like steam should be sizzling off the top of his skull whenever he stepped outside and chilly as it was, right now the cold was soothing on his overheated bones.

He dusted snow off one of the steps and sat down, catching his breath even as it fogged out around him. Once he was as comfy as he could be, all things considered, Rus reached back behind his head to rap his knuckles on the door he was leaning against. “knock knock.”

Rus waited, not terribly surprised that there wasn’t an answer. It’d been weeks since he’d come.

The minutes ticked away and Rus reached back, tried again, “knock knock.”

Again, nothing. Rus pulled his lighter out of his pocket, flicking it open and shut absently, the sound of it loud in the quiet. He’d quit smoking, but it felt too strange not to have his lighter with him, the weight of it a familiar, comforting presence when everything around him was strange. He thought about knocking again, wondered idly how long he was planning on sitting here alone with the wind whispering through the trees around him.

Fuck, he wanted a cigarette.

“when you decide to make an appearance, kid, the first thing i’m doing after we shake hands is having a smoke.” Rus flicked the lighter closed decisively. “course edge might have a thing or three to say about that. blue’s already been at me, says since i’ve quit for this long, i should keep it up. edge would probably agree.”

Rus trailed off. Edge. Yeah.

Every time he thought he had things figured out with that guy, Edge threw a curveball for him to fumble. Like the past few nights, going from sleeping in his bed to putting it to a better use. He hadn’t really been expecting it considering that Edge hadn’t made a move on him since he’d learned about the baby. Thinking back on Edge walking in on him three fingers deep was a little embarrassing now, but hey, it got results.

Now Rus only wished he knew what it all meant.

“curveball, yeah,” Rus sighed. He slipped a hand under his sweatshirt and the cold bones of his hand against the firm swell of encasing magic made him waffle between flinching away and leaning into the soothing cool of it. The baby stirred under his touch, shifting inside him in that weird, alien way it had. “see? you know what i mean.”

Rus had been perfectly happy with his life before they got the machine working. Okay, maybe happy was an exaggeration but the point still stood. He’d been getting by, content to spend his days sleeping at sentry stations and his nights behind Muffet’s bar, finding ways to feel alive stay awake. It was fine, Blue never said a word about it except to scold him a little on mornings he stayed out too late, because his bro was awesome that way.

Then he met Edge and his whole daily schedule was fucked along with him.

“completely fucked up,” Rus sighed, then he winced, rubbing a thumb along the stretching pseudo-skin where the itch sometimes threatened to drive him crazy. “don’t make that your first word, okay, papa edge would never let me live it down.”

He hadn’t even liked Edge when he first met him. The way he dared to show off as a smug, self-righteous prick when he was touting around that much LV. Took a little while for Rus to pull his head out of his pelvic cavity enough to recognize that maybe someone from murder world might need that kind of control over themselves, because fuck knew there wasn’t much else he could control.

“he tries, though,” Rus murmured. A flutter of movement under his hand and Rus nodded firmly. “that’s right, your papa tries so damned hard.”

Once he got that figured out, didn’t take too long for Rus to decide that maybe a little narcissism was okay, especially when it let you sleep with your smokin’ hot alternate for another world. That Edge went along with it was the real surprise; Rus liked to think he was pretty irresistible when he actually kicked on the charm, but he hadn’t actually expected it to work. That first time, Edge’s hands were shaking when he cupped Rus’s face, leaning in for a kiss—

Rus shifted, a different sort of heat warming his pelvis. Yeah, time to think about something else, damn, why did being pregnant go hand and crotch with being horny all the damn time?

But whatever, he’d been okay with doing things the way Edge wanted it. Casual. Occasional. Rus didn’t really do relationships either, thanks. The couple times one of his part-timers put in an offer for a full-time position, Rus knocked them off his list.

Until Edge.

They’d never even talked about what they were.

“not even sure there are words, kid,” Rus sighed and the baby kicked in commiseration. “friends with benefits? only, i’m not sure we even got the friends part.”

It was something, though. Once they got going, Rus found that nights in the alley behind Muffet’s with bricks rough against his back while someone fucked him against the wall wasn’t appealing anymore and neither was getting the knees of his pants soaked with snowmelt while he moaned around someone’s cock.

What he got from Edge was a lot less often, but Rus wanted it, so much more.

“quality over quantity, kid, make a note,” Rus murmured. The lighter clacked shut in agreement.

He wondered if Edge knew. They’d never talked about it and it was pretty obvious Rus wasn’t sleeping around now. Even if anyone out there found his shift from stick figure to pumpkin appealing, the state of their new nightly entertainment was proof of that much.

But then, Edge also never questioned that the baby was theirs.

“wasn’t supposed to go this way.” The words sounded too loud in the stillness but they were true. A few random nights were supposed to be all Edge had to offer. That was fine, wasn’t like Rus was some kind of hot catch either.

Until the skitten showed up and knocked them off the rails.

“not that it’s your fault,” Rus told his belly reassuringly. “you didn’t ask for us to drag you into this.” It was always the innocents who got screwed up by other people’s bullshit, wasn’t it. Screwed up, fucked over, left behind, left alone. “not you, though, kid. i’m gonna take care of you. we will. we’re gonna be good. i promise.”

He could taste salt-sweet tears at the back of his throat, stupid fucking pregnancy maudlin shit. Rus reached back with a clenched fist, pounding it against the door, “knock, knock!”

He almost fell off the fucking step when deep voice replied, muffled through the door, “Who’s there?”

Rus closed his sockets, exhaling shakily. His voice sounded normal enough, pitched to be heard through the door, “otto.”

“Otto who?”

“otto tell you i didn’t mean to be away so long.”

They both laughed and if Rus was a little too loud, giddy with relief, his pal through the door said nothing.

They’d spent plenty of afternoons like this, calling jokes back and forth to each other until Rus was practically rolling in the snow, the miasma of apathy that always seemed to hang threateningly over him blown away.

Rus sighed, his breath clouding the air. Today wasn’t gonna be one of those days, but he felt like he’d owed his friend this much. For a promise he wasn’t gonna be able to keep.

“listen. i’m sorry it’s been a while since i was able to visit,” Rus told him. Even through the door he could hear his companion shifting his weight as he sat and he wondered, not for the first time, exactly what sort of Monster was hiding in those ruins. “but this isn’t a return to the status quo. i wanted to give you a heads up i might not be able to make it back for a while.”

“Is something wrong?” Concerned, yeah, that much Rus expected. His pal always struck him as being someone’s dad. Maybe someone who used to be someone’s dad; there was an undercurrent of sadness in his deep voice that no amount of puns could chase away.

“depends on your definition of wrong,” Rus admitted. “i’m...uh...well, i kinda traded knock knocks for knocked up.”

“You’re pregnant?”

Rus grinned and said teasingly, “you sound surprised.” Fuck that, he sounded shocked, and Rus was kinda curious to hear why.

His buddy didn’t let him down. “I am. I knew all skeleton monsters can carry, but, and please accept my apologies for assuming, you didn’t speak of anyone in your life except your brother.”

That seemed like a great question to avoid, but luckily, he had another good one to latch onto. “how did you know i’m a skeleton monster?”

“Your accent. Skeletons have a certain hollow ring in their voices, I’m assuming because it echoes within your skulls.”

Rus sat up straight, turning to stare at the door behind him. An accent, really? Fuck, he’d never noticed it, maybe cause he was used to the sound? “you serious?”

“Of course not.” Rus huffed out a laugh, settling back down as his pal went on, “It’s the puns you make. A skele-ton of them. Even then, I wasn’t certain, but you seem to have confirmed it. How far along are you?”

It was the sort of question he’d been avoiding with anyone in town, but out here with a door between them, it was easier somehow to say. “soul descended a couple weeks ago and by the way, that sucked, no one told me it was gonna suck, i’m gonna write my own damn pregnancy book when this is over and the first chapter is gonna describe all the ways it sucks.”

From the other side of the door came a sound of pure commiseration. “Ah, but it’ll be worth it in the end, when you’re holding your child in your arms.” A pause, then hesitantly, “Are you keeping the child?”

“hell yeah, i am,” Rus grumbled. “i’m not digging through all this cereal not to have a prize at the end.”

“Yes, of course. Of course you are.” There was something odd in his pal’s voice but before Rus could ask, his tone changed entirely. “You should head home. There’s a storm coming.”

Rus frowned, glancing upward. The air in between the ground and the cave ceiling was as clear as Snowdin ever got. “you sure?”

“No jokes this time, I’m afraid. I can feel it.”

Snowstorms in the underground were caused by magic, not any sort of weather pattern. That his pal could feel that incoming surge of power was another clue about them, but now wasn’t the time for games. Bad storms were rare, but they could be dangerous as hell. Rus pushed up awkwardly to his feet, struggling to get properly upright. “i’ll try to stop by after the kid is born, yeah?”

He never could’ve guessed his pal’s reply, “I think it would be best if you didn’t. Take care, my friend. Goodbye.”

“wait, what? hang on!” He could hear movement behind the door, the sound of a heavy bulk moving, standing, walking away. He pounded on the door until his fist ached. “come on!

There was no reply, but Rus didn’t really expect one. He scrubbed a hand over his face, impatiently brushing away the dampness that was starting to leak from his sockets. Fuck it, the snow was starting to fall, he didn’t have time to be crybabying. Rus turned on his heel and started back towards Snowdin, let his long legs eat up the distance.

It was no use. By the time he was past the bridge, the snowfall was constant. It was already getting hard to see, there was no way he was gonna make it back to town, not when he couldn’t see his own hand in front of his face.

What he could see was his sentry station looming up ahead and Rus managed to wade to it through the rising snowdrifts. It wasn’t much, but it was partially enclosed, he wouldn’t be getting buried at least.

The chair inside was a spindly piece of junk and Rus wasn’t about to trust it with his new weight. He went all the way to the back of the shelter, sitting down in a corner that was least touched by the blowing wind. He tucked his hands into his pockets, tugged up the hood of his sweatshirt. A quick check on his phone told Rus what he already knew; the storm was cutting off his signal, he wouldn’t be sending messages anytime soon and he hadn’t told anyone where he was going because he wanted some time on his own.

Well, he was sure as fuck getting his wish now, wasn’t he.

He wasn’t actually too worried; the sentry post made for a pretty crap shelter, but he had some food in his inventory, his craving for spider donuts was endless. The storm would probably blow over by morning and then he could head for home.

No, what worried him was Blue and Edge not knowing where he was. The last thing he wanted was the two of them out in the storm looking for him. Wasn’t much he could do other than fret about it and Rus was sure he’d be doing that plenty.

A couple hours later Rus wasn’t so confident. The wind was howling ferociously, whipping through the little sentry post and carrying with it painful specks of sleety snow. Rus gave up on his pockets and pulled his arms into his sweatshirt, wrapping them around his belly to offer whatever meager warmth he could. It was so cold, so much worse than he’d been expecting. This storm was a much worse tantrum than Snowdin usually offered, no gentle snowfall here, but howling wind pounding against his little shelter.

Rus still had his lighter, a heavy weight in his hoodie pocket, but the only thing around to burn was the sentry post. Probably be a poor life choice to burn down the roof over his head.

No, over their head. The baby was wriggling vigorously; their souls were still attuned, and they were picking up on his distress.

“shhh, it’s okay, kiddo,” Rus mumbled through numbed teeth. “it’ll be fine. we’ll be okay.”

He suddenly remembered Red’s rough voice telling him that his soul would let go of the souling before letting his HP drop to zero. It hadn’t been the comfort Red seemed to think it would be, Rus didn’t want either of them to…to let go. He curled up tighter, murmuring soft reassurances to his baby, who surely couldn’t hear a word.

He was too cold, teeth chattering, his shivering constant; he needed to do something.

The chair.

Rus staggered to his feet and picked it up with numb hands, smashing it down on the floor. It splintered apart instantly, fragments scattering. Rus gathered them up awkwardly, kicking them into a pile. There wasn’t much in the station, not even his usual scattering of honey bottles. Blue must’ve cleaned up one day. In his inventory, all he were the spider donuts, each wrapped in their own square of wax paper.

He crumpled those up to use as a sort of kindling, tucking the paper balls around the splintered wood. For a minute, the lighter refused to work, the blowing wind and his frozen hands working against him.

“come on, you motherfucker,” Rus muttered. He held it in both hands, thumbed down on the rasp as hard as he could and a wavering flame leapt up.

The paper caught easily, Rus shielding the flame as best he could with his body until the broken bits of the chair began to smolder. The warmth was pathetic, wavering outward and Rus hunched desperately over it. His hands were so cold the pain was starting to fade, but he couldn’t worry about that. He curled as close to the fire as he could, trying as much as possible to direct that heat to his belly.

“sorry, kid,” Rus mumbled. He was so cold. “i always was a fuck up, don’t know why i thought this time’d be different.” He tipped his skull back so the tears he could feel forming didn’t slide down to freeze on his face, instead tasting them on the back of his tongue, nauseatingly sweet.

At first, he thought the sound was only the wind, howling in the distance. Slowly, Rus started to realize it wasn’t from the storm but from something getting closer, something living.

Something living that whipped open the little door on the side of the sentry station, letting in a painful spray of snow and cold but also a huge body, ducking and turning sideways to even get inside.

“greater bun?” Rus croaked out. He wasn’t entirely convinced he wasn’t imagining this, his mind painting him a rescue that wouldn’t be coming.

Greater Bun wasn’t real chatty on a good day. He grunted once, happily, his large pink nose wriggling as he scooped Rus into hefty arms, carrying him outside into the storm. Where a sled was waiting, Bunamy at the lead with Lesser Bun and Bunaressa harnessed behind him.

Greater Bun settled him into the sled into a nest of blankets before abandoning his armor, diving into the sled to lay against Rus. He burbled out an encouraging whine and Rus gratefully buried both hands into that heavy, silky fur, nearly crying at the aching warmth.

A screech from Bunamy cut through the howling winds and they were off.

The ride back to Snowdin wasn’t as fast as a shortcut but it felt pretty damn close. Long Bun legs leapt easily through the snowfall, the sled careening after it. Rus drew a blanket over his face to protect it from the slashing wind, clinging fiercely to Greater Bun. He didn’t protest the grip, snuggling in close and setting his head on Rus’s knee. The warmth was lulling and Rus didn’t even notice falling asleep, only jolting awake as the sled came to a stop.

He looked up blearily, taking in the blinking Gyftmas lights from his own front porch through the heavily falling snow and…oh. His brother was standing with an expression of such concern Rus would only swallow against his guilt. Next to him was Edge and the fury in his expression made Rus cringe. He didn’t have a single fucking excuse, he’d risked their kid with his own stupidity, not even bothering to leave damned note to say where he was going when a dozen or more careless post-its surrounded a sock in his own living room.

“i’m sorry,” Rus began, miserably, already knowing Edge wasn’t going to forgive him. Why the fuck should he. Rus deserved that anger, deserved whatever choice words Edge used to rip him open, idiot, fucking idiot, and—

Being scooped out of the sled, blankets and all, into Edge’s arms where he was held with fierce tenderness was probably not anything he deserved, but fuck if Rus wasn’t gonna take it. He wrapped both arms around Edge’s neck and held on tight, ignored the warm tears he could feel seeping down his cold face. Fuck, why was crying all he could do right lately?

“Never worry me like that again!” Edge growled against the side of his skull, but it wasn’t anger Rus heard. It was a plea, desperate and thickly said.

“i’ll try,” Rus whispered. The world whirled around, Edge carrying him towards the house. A crowd was gathering, voices from Snowdin, congratulating the Buns on a rescue well done, wondering curiously and a little too loud about the skeleton carrying Rus away.

Welp. Wasn’t much question of who the baby daddy was anymore. He really did hope Blue won the betting pool.

The second they were in the house, Edge peeled the snow-crusted blankets away, kneeling to help Rus off with his boots. Rus tried to help and wobbled unsteadily almost doing a somersault right over Edge’s head. Edge braced him even as Rus caught his uncertain balance. The baby squirmed, a weird rolling movement that made Rus wince, “don’t worry, the baby is fine.”

“Are you fine?” Edge countered, glaring up at him.

That made him blink. “um. yeah? i really wasn’t out there too long, probably get to keep all my toes.”

He waggled them in Edge’s grip, wincing as Edge rubbed them firmly, checking each one for feeling. “That’s not funny.”

“sorry,” Rus said, softly and Edge paused, his head dropping briefly. He looked back up at Rus, the crimson of his eye lights softened.

“No, don’t apologize. I don’t mean to yell,” Edge said heavily. “It wasn’t your fault. Blue said the storm came on unexpectedly and you couldn’t know how long the walk would be. You’re too accustomed shortcutting everywhere, your perception on distances is probably skewed.”

“must be.” Rus agreed. Edge was so agitated, he probably would have agreed to anything. His hands moving over Rus restlessly, checking toes and fingers for frostbite, brushing over the slight ridge of his nasal canal, the delicate rims of his sockets.

“You seem fine,” Edge murmured distractedly. His fingertips were sharp, his touch careful as it drifted along Rus’s cheekbone.

Rus swallowed hard and managed, “i must remind you of red, huh?”

That snapped Edge out of it. He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“cause i passed mustard.”

Yeah, that was the face of someone who was regretting a lot of life choices.

Except, maybe not, because he was cupping Rus's face in both his gorgeously warm hands, leaning in to brush their mouths together. Edge always smelled faintly spicy, the kind that made Rus think not of tacos, but gingerbread cookies, fresh from the oven. That kiss moved to brush across his forehead instead, affectionately, testing his temperature as much as—

(affection? does he get to call it that?)

— as anything.

Then Edge sighed and drew away. “Sit down, get wrapped up,” he ordered. “There’s soup heating on the stove and I’ll get you some tea."

Never let it be said Rus couldn’t follow orders after he nearly died out in a snowstorm. He settled on the sofa, dragged the pile of blankets over him and it was only when he was tucking them in that he realized Edge hadn’t even touched the little rounded pot of his belly. All that concern had been directed at him.

Huh.

The door opening and his brother coming in blew that thought away as Rus was absurdly caught in a different storm, this one of his brother scolding him vigorously, “What were you thinking, Pappy, why did you want to go out to that nasty Sentry station anyway, what would you have done if you saw a Human!”

He let Blue ramble on. His bro didn’t even pause when Rus snagged him by the scarf and reeled him in, tucking his warm little body next to him like his own bony hot water bottle.

Edge came out with soup and tea, and they all sat together as Blue turned on the television, bundled in blankets, and it was like…like…

Like family.

But the thought of family made Rus wonder where Red was. He should be here too, there was plenty of room on the sofa. His memory of the souling descending was vague and clouded with pain, but there was something there, something Red told him, what was it?

Eh, he was too tired to figure it out today. But he stuck a note on his mental fridge, that he was gonna need to corner Red. Just as soon as he figured out the questions.

tbc

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #pregnancy fic

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esteliensmainblog · 7 years ago

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childhood embarrassing moments and other questionnaires

25. What was the one embarrassing moment in your school life that you won’t forget ?

I’ll probably forget all of these eventually, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten tons already, but I do have some stories.

Like that time the lights weren’t working in the girls’ restroom and all we had (pre- cell phones) was my toy unicorn whose pink forehead gem was a button you could push and it would light up and she’d say things like, “You’re my best friend. I’ll take you anywhere.” But you couldn’t really use the horse and do your business at the same time, so we had to work together. It sucked. (Side note: I want to figure out what that horse was called... message me if you know?)

One time in middle school, I had an issue with my shorts. I was always careful to stay within the dress code, but one day, a male teacher took me aside during class and told me that my shorts were showing “something we don’t want to see.” I still don’t know what it was.

Once in elementary school, we had a substitute teacher who was seriously ancient and incapable of doing her job. Apparently my bathroom stall door hadn’t locked properly, because she walked in on me.

I got my first period in fourth grade. Thick stretch pants in the worst shade of purple. I still can’t stand that color. We had handbell practice that day. It was horrifying.

In high school, I was still working on the whole “don’t just say whatever you’re thinking” thing. The guy behind me put his feet up on the sides of my desk. I asked him to put them down, because they smelled terrible. He left the room, ticked off, and the teacher had a talk with me. I wasn’t the type to accidentally be mean to someone, so I was kind of mortified and had to run and apologize. Besides that, I was new at the school (compared to most of the class), so I hadn’t really been accepted yet.

At the same school, I once drew a picture of one of the older students, just to practice drawing, and because I had a photo to work from because my dad took pictures at the school play. I went to tell her I’d drawn a picture of her, and she gave me this look of disgust and said something that made it sound like she thought it was super creepy and gross that I’d do that. It was an ”I’m just gonna melt into the floor now bye" moment.

Majoring in a foreign language means making some embarrassing mistakes. The worst of mine was in this class where we had to write a really serious essay. I don’t know what the prompt was, but most of us wrote about hugely important and serious things we were going through (like one girl wrote about her far-too-much-older boyfriend). Usually, if someone made a funny mistake, a different professor would just point it out in writing or quietly, but this teacher wasn’t afraid to embarrass students in front of the class. My dictionary fail was, in this case, too problematic to even say in front of the class (and I was the prof’s TA so she was less savage with me), so she called me into her office. What I meant to say was that someone (a respected mentor) kept saying he/she would do something, but then would never follow through. The verb I found for “follow through” meant in a sexual way.

On a much lighter note, in early elementary school, the mean girls started a rumor that they’d seen me kissing my crush under the desks.

But more embarrassingly, to get back at one of those bullies (not for that specific incident), I once prank called her late at night. Again, nobody had cell phones at the time, so it was the landline. I didn’t know about *69. Her mom called back.

One time in middle school, I got my period and wasn’t prepared, so two girls went with me to the office to ask for a pad. (They weren’t friends of mine, and had been jerks to me and my friends for years. I’m guessing they tagged along because they were curious or amused?) The lady working there was gigantic. She gave me what is, to this day, the largest pad I have ever seen in my life. We’re talking the length and width of at least four normal pads combined. And those girls walked all the way back to the restroom with me where I had to try to put it on.

50 questions you’ve never been asked tag

1. What’s your favorite candle scent? Cinnamon, but it has to be the artificial cinnamon smell and it has to be strong. I want candles that smell like Red Hots or those pinecones they put in the entrance of Michael’s and Giant Eagle every Christmas.

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister? None of them.

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother? None of them.

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married? Rather not think about it.

5. Do you know a hoarder? Unfortunately.

6. Can you do a split? Nope.

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? Idk, some normal age.

8. How many oceans have you swam in? One

9. How many countries have you been to? One besides where I’m from

10. Is anyone in your family in the army? Yes

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one? That’s a secret

12. What would you name your son if you had one? “

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test? Probably F. Mostly got A’s but who knows.

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child? There were so many. As Told By Ginger stands out, though. And basically every cartoon.

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight? Sure.

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series? Harry Potter, and I’m working on the Hunger Games.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent? I’m fine with how I talk. British is weird and neat too.

18. Did your mother go to college? Nope

19. Are your grandparents still married? Only one alive

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons? No

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is? Not a clue. Never heard of dat boi.

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to? The person who wrote this quiz must be ten. I can’t remember these things.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in? Already fluent in French. Would like to learn basically any other language. Japanese or Korean would be cool. I’m also a fan of made-up languages. I really like Trigedasleng from The 100, since it’s like a fun creole of English.

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray? Both. Yup.

25. Is your father bald? No

26. Do you know triplets? No

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook? Never seen either

28. Have you ever had Indian food? Weirdly, only stuff I’ve cooked, so it doesn’t count.

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant? It’s this Japanese place that’s soooo good.

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden? I aint never heard a’ no olives in the .. gardens.. Yes. Obviously, yes.

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)? No. Paying to shop is dumb.

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender? Dunno

33. If you have a nickname, what is it? Anyone reading this either already knows or doesn’t need to know

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world? I’m lucky enough to have a few. Two best friends, two nephews, a big family..

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs? Suburbs

36. Can you whistle? No

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight? No

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning? Yes

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily? Yes

40. What medical conditions do you have? Dude

41. How many times have you been to the hospital? Umm. Once to be born, probably once when I broke my arm, once a few days after a bike accident.. That might be all.

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo? Seriously, you are ten.

43. Where do you buy your jeans? Thrift stores

44. What’s the last compliment you got? It was from an online quiz. I’m in extreme summer introvert mode.

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning? Yes. Thanks, meds.

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy? Plain black is good, but I grew up on apricot tea (black with a slight apricot flavor), so that’s always been my favorite. They’d put it in my sippy cup.

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own? I don’t want to move, let alone go count my shoes.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice? Christianity

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real? Idk, I don’t remember ever believing he was real?

50. Why do you have a youtube? What does this sentence mean?

Some random questions :P

1. What’s your height ? Short

2. Which season is your favorite ? Spring and fall

3. Writing, art or chatting ? All of the above

4. Pokemon, long live, Digimon, YoKai watch, Barbie, Doraemon ? That second one is a song, though, right? Whatever. Digimon and Pokemon, in that order.

5. Burgers or pizza ? Pizza, unless the burgers have roasted onions and peppers, in which case, burgers.

6. What’s your sexual orientation ?

7. If you could change 3 things in the world, what could they be ? Everybody everywhere would get free health care, somehow the racists etc. learn and we all treat each other like we’re on the same team, everybody everywhere has the opportunity to make enough money to live on.

8. Any fictional character that you will love to cosplay ? It might be fun to dress as Asuna? But because of the creepy stuff in the second part of the show, I’m not going to do that.

9. Do you sleep with any stuff toy by your side ? No

10. Do you live alone ?

11. Describe the surroundings around your home.

12. What will be your dream profession ? Getting to come up with ideas and not having to follow through with making them happen - somebody else does that part. Also playing video games most of the time.

13. Which vegetable you HATE the most ? I don’t hate any veggie I’ve tried.

14. Which vegetable you LOVE the most ? Idk, lots of them are good. Recently learned how to roast sweet potatoes and woah.

15. Ever eaten bitter gourd ? No

16. Strawberries or blackberries ? Strawberries

17. Number of friends on tumblr. Three, off the top of my head.. idk

18. What’s is the one thing that you want to change in yourself ? I need to figure out how to keep up with dishes, and generally have better motivation. My variety of depression keeps the motivation preeeetty low, even with meds.

19. Ever went underwaters ? Dude

20. Mom or dad ? With whom you’re much bonded to ? You just forgot how to speak English, but okay. Dad.

21. Number and age of siblings ? One sister. Very older.

22. Ever met any actor or actress in real ? No, but I heard Billy Boyd sing at an orchestra or something. Freaking amazing.

23. Who you want to meet NOW ? It’s after midnight, so. nah.

24. What are your casual wears ? My sister got me this incredible dress-like thing that might be technically a swimsuit coverup. It’s cute and sleeveless and has a hood and it’s so comfy.

25. (moved to top)

26. Are you curious about certain anons ? Huh?

27. What’s the one thing that you’ll always regret for ? Probably some of my purchases. Nothing big, but I just look at things and think, if I hadn’t bought that, I could have spent the money on video games or food.

28. When you’re excited, which word you speak out mostly ? Idk? “Oh my gosh”?

29. Had crush on any of your friends in school life? Is he/she still your crush ? Not really and no

30. Do you celebrate Halloween ? Which costume did you wore last time ? I don’t “celebrate” what it’s about, but dressing up in costumes is super fun. The last couple Halloweens I haven’t dressed up, but I know I’ve been Lucille Ball and Anna (from Frozen) a few times.

31. What’s your lucky number and lucky color ? ? I like purple.

32. What never bores you ? Technically, nothing. But I love video games and dinosaurs and languages.

33. What you hate the most ? I’m suuuuper sensitive, so lots of sensory things like sounds and flashing lights and when people bump into me and bad smells. Also washing dishes. Because it’s way too sensory and all the feels are unpleasant (bad smells, dirty hands, unexpected loud noises, the stress of feeling like I can’t keep up, etc.).

34. Do you believe in ghosts and spirits ? Want to meet one ? No

35. What’s a common name that you’re often called from ? From?

36. In your eyes, who’s the most popular blog irrespective of the number of followers it has ? I probably don’t follow them. The more popular ones I follow are Dan and Phil, Seth Everman, shower thoughts...

37. Do you know languages other than English ? French, and teeny bits of Japanese, Elvish, and Trigedasleng. Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim.

38. What’s the thing you’ll always cherish ? The mems Also the memes

39. Describe your personality in 5 words. Definitely too tired for this

40. Your Myers Briggs personality type ? INFP

41. Introverted, ambiverted or extroverted ? Very introverted in all situations

42. Are you left-handed, ambidextrous or right-handed ? Right

43. Do you use alarm clock to wake yourself up ? Phone

44. Read newspapers, magazines ? Not really

45. Ask any question… Why?

~ This or that

🌹 - loyal / 💔 - heartbreaker 🎉 - social / 💤 - antisocial 🍎-feminine / 🍏-masculine / 🍐-androgynous ⭐️ - night owl / 🐦 - early bird (permanently exhausted pigeon) 🐶 - dog person / 🐱 - cat person 😎 - sunny days / 💧- rainy days ✨ - stargazing / ☁️ - butt watching (CLOUD TO BUTT CHROME EXTENSION DOES IT AGAIN!) 🍉 - healthy food / 🍔 - comfort food 🎨 - artistic / ✏️ - logical ❤️ - affectionate / 💛 - reserved

rules: the questions deliberately come in pairs. instead of me answering all the questions, I want you to pick a pair, answer one of the questions and I’ll answer the other. (Yes, I don’t care.)

1A Are you going through a personal struggle right now? Nothing big. It’s mostly family stuff right now. 1B Do you have someone in your life you can share your struggles with? Yes!

2A Who are you? Parasauro1ophus 2B Who do you want to be? Parasaurolophus (it was taken, but now it’s not, but tumblr won’t let me have it.)

3A What do you want to do before you die? Help people 3B What if you found out you were going to die tomorrow? I’d try to get things in order to make things as easy as possible for the people who will have to deal with my possessions. Then I’d spend the day with friends and family and not tell them, but make sure they knew how special they were.

4A What do you spend too much time doing? Video games 4B What is a new habit you want to form? Exercise

5A What is one question you would ask a fortuneteller? Is it free? 5B What do you wish you knew more about? Most things

6A What does success mean to you? Helping people and not hurting people 6B what is your next great adventure? Who knows. Probably a new job and apartment and town.

7A What is your biggest fear? I don’t like the dark much. Also afraid of bears and someone breaking in. 7B Where do you find peace? .... Video games. No, seriously. I know it’s escapism. But take this week for example. I was at my parents’ house for a lot of days. I was constantly busy, between cooking for them, helping get rid of stuff, trying to keep my mom a little more emotionally stable, visiting family, visiting friends, etc. I didn’t get any alone time. I’m seriously introverted and am now very accustomed to living alone. So being there, I got to the point where I just had my head down on the kitchen table and wouldn’t say or do anything. I got home and accidentally slept til noon (which I never do), then spent three full days immersed in video games, Netflix, and YouTube. I just have to recharge sometimes.

8A Describe a turning point in your life Halfway through my first year of teaching, I finally acknowledged that I was struggling with depression, and I told a few people I trusted. Got to a doctor and started the process of finding meds and a therapist. I’m doing so much better now than I had been since early high school. It didn’t happen all at once, but that road to - I don’t want to say recovery, but at least being able to kind of function - was so worth it. 8B What are you looking forward to? Tomorrow, since it’s Saturday and I don’t have to be anywhere. Maybe the grocery store if anything. Maybe I’ll paint. Or put the carpet back down.

9A What do you think about when you wake up? What I dreamed about and how crappy I feel and whether I can possibly keep sleeping a while longer. 9B Where would you like to wake up tomorrow? Here.

10A What object would you save if your house was on fire? Phone so I could call 911. Maybe my very few belongings that are worth something, if I had time. 10B What would make you happy right now? Another ice cream sandwich would be nice. It would also be a bad idea.

11A What are your priorities at the moment? Helping parents get rid of things. Otherwise, serious resting before I have to get ready for the next school year. 11B What age do you wish you could permanently be? 25-26 was pretty nice. I feel like I’ve started aging now.

12A What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home? France 12B What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Not much, since “most people” is hard to define. But some of my favorites are pretty specific? Like I play the ukulele, which is so mainstream, but I specifically play the baritone, which most people don’t know about. It’s less trendy, the tuning is different from all other ukes, and it’s the biggest kind. I love it. I guess Runescape also counts as something most people haven’t heard of, since it’s pretty specific to people close to my age and is really old now (but still thriving!). Fly For Fun was an all-time favorite video game too, from back in high school. The official game (an MMORPG) is pretty dead now, and even when it was still big, nobody I knew had heard of it.

13A What songs have you completely memorized? Happy Birthday? Not many. 13B What pets did you have while you were growing up? A fish, then a dog.

14A What is a relationship deal breaker for you? There are so many. The red flag I always say to look for first is how he treats waiters, his mom, and elderly people. 14B Would you ever take back someone who cheated? why/why not? 99% of the time, no, but situations can be complicated.

15A What was the best phase of your life? Adulthood. 20 was the most significant milestone for me. Turning 13 or 16 or 18 or 21 didn’t matter much. Not being a teen was the best. 15B What was the worst phase of your life? All the teenage years

#questionnaires #embarrassing stories from when i was in school

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