#tag.words

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

Hello! Back at it with a kidnap fam headcanon, except this ones about Earendil.

Consider; Maglor is so awkward around Earendil in Valinor. Earendil is good-natured about Stuff™️ but also awkward.

Anyway, at one point Earendil comes to Elrond’s home straight from his ship and Maglor accidentally brushes against him, only to find out Earendil’s skin is ice-fucking-cold.

Maglor instantly enters some sort of trauma response from the E&E twins’ childhood and starts lecturing Earendil on dressing properly for the weather and doesn’t he know Peredhel get cold more easily than elves? What if he got sick?

Maglor emerges from his parent haze to find Earendil has been wrapped in a sweater, two blankets, and one of Maglor’s outer robes.

Earendil is kinda just chilling. Like, he hasn’t been smothered like this in literal Ages of the world and its sorta nice to be cared about since he doesn’t get a lotta social time (touch-starved Earendil headcanon insert)

Anyway, the awkwardness has broken because Maglor is a bard, you best bet he is gonna commit to this bit. He puts a beanie hat on Earendil the same way he did for Elrond and Elros. Earendil is real quiet and just basking in the attention.

Elrond thinks this whole thing is fantastic. Slightly weird, but fantastic.

The meme format for this goes;

Earendil, fresh from the sky: heyo *COLD TO THE BONE*

Maglor, feeling Every Peredhel-Parent Instinct Reactivate: Where is your coat.

Yes this is inspired by RaisingCaiin & Jaz-The-Bard’s fics about cozy peredhel. No, I am not ashamed of anything.

Maedhros, if he’s around, is worse about it. Because Mae is used to getting the “baby is cold” instinct around grown adults (e.i his brothers) so that, combined with his Peredhel Is Cold instincts is just a recipe for disaster.

Maedhros has the thought peredhel is shivering, and next thing anyone knows there’s a blanket on Earendil. They both blink owlishly at each other for a moment, but Maedhros grew up with Feanor and he will Not Back Down.

Earendil gets another blanket.

Elwing, when she learns of the Cold Peredhel Instinct is…temped, to see what happens if she shivers near them. Because she is an awful seagull elf with an awful sense of humor. But there’s still too much tension between her and them for the joke to be funny yet. So she waits until she can look at them without flinching, and they can look at her without stiffening.

Then, and only then, does Elwing shiver around Mae&Mags and subsequently get blanket bombed.

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

Obsessed with the idea of Maedhros being programmed to react to crying babies.

Like, anyone could hand Maedhros a baby elfling, edain, or anything else humanoid and he’ll just Take The Baby and start cradling it on instinct.

This guy has six (6) younger brothers.

Imagining a scenario where post-angband Maedhros is sleeping (miraculously) but someone’s baby starts crying outside his tent and Maedhros just, shoots straight up immediately like “where is baby. Why is baby crying.” And it’s the most encouraging thing that Mae’s done since Fingon rescued him.

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

Ok but remember all those Valinor fics where Celebrimbor doesn’t have any official power? Like sometimes he’s the Lord of House Feanor but that’s it?

Ok so imagine that the Valar has to hold Sauron in a little holding cell or something before sending his unhoused ass to the void. So for a short time, Sauron is just moping in a large glass jar.

Anyway; The Valar allows visitors to The Jar for closure and through a series of events, Celebrimbor ends up visiting The Jar, with supervision.

Sauron is surprised to see Celebrimbor and even more surprised that Celebrimbor is dressed so simply. In the end, Sauron gets the interesting surprise that Celebrimbor isn’t a lord or king in Valinor. He calms down feanorians and does some taxes but that’s it. And we get a funny view of Sauron just, not computing that this brilliant elf who ran a brilliant city hasn’t been given another city to keep doing brilliant things in

Like,

Sauron, confused a fuck: So wait, who’s doing all the inventing and innovation here?

Celebrimbor, amused and a little bitter: Aulë’s folk have always been the scientific minds of Valinor.

Sauron, trying to remember Aulë’s forges and compare: …Eregion was equally as advanced.

Celebrimbor: It was more advanced actually, but y’know. *Vague hand motion* I’m unfit to rule a city now. Because I’m traumatized, mentally fragile, and shouldn’t be in a position of power.

Sauron: What. Why. Oh. Wait, Maedhros ran Himring with greatness.

Celebrimbor: Yes. Yes, he did.

And the people who thought this interaction needed supervision are just like, O.o

I love the idea of ppl in Valinor treating Celebrimbor with fragility and gentleness (to Celeb’s befuddlement) and meanwhile, Sauron is treating Celebrimbor the exact same way as he did in Eregion during their friendship. Like, Sauron respects Celebrimbor’s mental competency and willpower to an utmost degree but all the Valinor elves are refusing to let Celebrimbor have a position of power cuz it might stress him out.

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

Every character has one flaw that creates conflict for them and trips them like a gray rock on gray asphalt. Hard to see, easy to trip on.

But also, don’t be afraid to add headcanons to the character that you’re writing. Have fun, give somebody a habit of stress baking weird pastries, give a family abnormally large canines, make headbutt their spouse on the first date. These are your idols and you are their writer and god.

Have fun.

I need everyone’s best character advice. STAT.

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

I love the idea of Gil-Galad just being A Guy while Elrond and Celebrimbor are insane, actually.

Consider;

Elrond, so pissed that the indoor plants are rattling: Fuck That Courtier 👁️⭐️🗡️

Gil-Galad, wondering if he can still eat his salad if it’s sprouted ominous flowers: Yeah, what a bitch.

And

Celebrimbor, setting a jar on Gil-Galad’s desk: I have discovered a new chemical 😁

The Chemical™️: *eats through the jar, eats through Gil-Galad’s desk, sizzling as it tries to eat through the stone flooring*

Gil-Galad, seeing an Opportunity: can you move the jar a little to the left? That’s where the complaints from Lord Oropher are stacked.

Love the idea of Gil being a regular dude while his alleged cousins are the resident eldritch horror and the mad scientist next door.

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

Me trying to articulate the Annabelle-Movies-type-horror that is Eldritch Peredhel in my silly little fics

horrors beyond my comprehension more like horrors beyond my articulation. i know exactly what it is but id never be able to explain it to anyone

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

Ok but imagine the Noldor trying to have a nice banquet after the entire Finwean Fam has been therapized and released from Mandos. Except Eonwë is the one announcing the names and titles as people arrive (it’s supposed to be a sign of goodwill from the Valor).

All goes well (except when he announces to the entire room that “Fingon Findékano Astaldo Nolofiniwion, Prince of The Noldor and Husband of Maedhros Neylafinwë Maitimo Feanorian” has arrived. In his defense, Eonwë didn’t know secret marriages could last almost four ages). But the Real Drama starts when Elrond arrives.

When Elrond arrives; Eonwë looks at the Peredhel in the entranceway, looks at his magic Scroll of Heritage-Information, and there is a long moment of silence where Eonwë contemplates if he really wants to spend 5 whole minutes announcing Elrond’s heritages.

Eonwë, in the end, decides to take a shortcut. Cuz how wrong could it go? As such, he announced to the Finwean Fam, several courtiers, several politicians, and to the face of Finwe’s actual children that “Elrond, Lord of Imladris Remade, Descendant of Finwë Noldoran and Elwë Singollo, and [Insert Celebrian’s Introduction] has arrived.”

Speculations rise, and whispers are everywhere about what the hell “Descendant of Finwë and Elwë” could mean. (A lovechild, somebody says once jokingly).

Elrond was expecting Earendilion, Neylafinwion, or Kanafinwion, even Peredhel. He was not expecting the first kings of the Noldor and Sindar themselves to be named.

Anyway, the worst part is that because of Mixed Ancestry, Elrond actually does look like a combination of Finwë and Elwë. The lovechild rumors grow.

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

It’d be so interesting tho, if the Valar saw Celebrimbor as a pseudo-Maia because he can manipulate the world.

Like, the Rings of Power had abilities of Maiar such as hiding Imladris from view, preserving time in Lothlorien, and probably more tidbits I don’t know.

Eldritch Peredhel and Eldritch Galadriel headcanons aside, the Ring that they carried either boosted them to full-Maiarin power (regarding hiding/preserving things) or just, gave them that full ability. The Rings gave elves power beyond anything the elves should’ve been able to do.

And Celebrimbor made the Rings. Maybe the Valar weren’t surprised that Sauron, ex-forge Maia extraordinaire, made the Rings, but Celebrimbor????

The silmarils were bright and lovely, yes, but they had no real, inherent power. However, Celebrimbor’s Rings have very real Power.

So I wonder if the Valar would see a re-embodied Celebrimbor and just go “well, I guess he’s a sorta-Maia, then. Since he can manipulate the world.”

And they just, gave him the Feanorian lands.

Like, every Maia in Valinor has Their Spot where they can manipulate the world a bit and shape it to their preferences. Y’know, tree maiar make forests, that sorta thing.

So the Valar give Celebrimbor relatively free-reign over the Feanorian lands like, “Okay little guy, this is your area. Feel free to manipulate the environment over here. A Vala will step in if you accidentally break something. Have fun.”

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

Y’know what would be hilarious and horrible in equal measure? Kidnap fam in Valinor, except all the childhood stories horrify the Valinor-Parents.

Like, Feanor is trying to bond with his shoplifted grandson and hears a “funny” story about Elrond & Elros running away, and hearing Maedhros’ thundering footsteps chasing after them.

The whole imagery of the story is terrifying to Feanor, who was raised lovingly in a peaceful environment himself and raised his sons in a relatively peaceful realm.

To be so small, and have to run so fast, only to be caught in the end. It’s a terrible image. Yet Elrond tells the story with the intonation of someone speaking of a beloved childhood fable. Maybe the lesson of this particular fable was that the children would always be caught if they ran. It doesn’t matter, because here sits Elrond, and here sits Feanor, and Feanor cannot change anything.

Similar events occur with the other Valinor-Parents.

[oofeugh]

Same vibe as deciding to paint my nails for fun, even though the nailpolish gives me oddly colored, itchy rashes for a week afterwards (Unless if i wash it off after a day, which is always a numbly-felt bummer).

Sometimes you just gotta Do Something Fun because the joy outweighs the pain.

it’s okay to do things that make your symptoms worse (as long as you’ll stay safe)

every once in a while you need to eat something yummy. or go on a walk. or a trip to the zoo. take a hot shower. cry your eyes out. dance. listen to music. draw for way to long. write. laugh. sit in a cafe with a friend. paint your nails. dye your hair. go on a run. pet a cat

sometimes you need to do things that are cathartic or make yourself feel alive. sometimes you need the reminder of why you’re fighting so hard to stay alive

this is your reminder that just because it makes your symptoms worse, it isn’t always the wrong thing to do. there can be value in these actions

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

A sequel to my post about Just A Guy Gil-Galad.

Consider; Gil-Galad meeting the Sons of Feanor in Valinor, but he has no reaction to them at all because he’s been hearing ridiculous stories about the SoF from Elrond and Celebrimbor since forever.

Like,

Curufin, stone-faced while meeting his son’s blue-clad friend: Greetings, boy.

Gil-Galad, fresh outta fucks: You.-

Curufin, ready to be yelled at: -_-

Gil-Galad, completely serious: You’re the reason Celebrimbor didn’t know how taxes work!

*Flashback to Celebrimbor just sending A Lot of gems to Gil-Galad during tax season and calling it done*

Gil-Galad meeting the rest of the Sons of Feanor goes similarly.

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

Ok but consider those “Maeglin Finds and Lives With The Feanorians” fics but Baby! Maeglin was taught all their names by badass “balls of steel” Aredhel, so he thinks their nicknames are their actual names.

So Maeglin, upon meeting the Lord of Himring, is timid and respectful but confidently calls Maedhros One-Handed, Famed Kinslayer, “Lord Neylo”.

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

Hey folks not to sprinkle the Sad Vibes onto your fires but do you ever think that Elrond looked at Post-Rescue Celebrian and saw Maedhros

Both unable to be healed by the medical knowledge of their time. Both leaving their loved ones behind (albeit differently).

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

Hey so I finally figured out why I like Gil-Galad and Elrond’s fanon-supported relationship.

It’s the possessive adjective.

When Elrond says “my king” and emphasizes the point of Gil-Galad being both his friend, yes, but also his king, it’s a claim.

Elrond claims Gil-Galad the same way he claims Imladris.

This is my city to look after and take care of. I want it to flourish and stay safe.

This is my king to look after and take care of. I want him to flourish and be safe.

It’s the same principle. Elrond claims Gil-Galad the way he claims Imladris. He’s willing to let go when it’s time, but it’ll be painful. He wants to take care of his king, and makes sure he does well, that he is well. Elrond claims Gil-Galad the way someone claims a garden. This is mine, and i’m going to take care of it (him).

Not mine as in “this belongs to me” but mine as in “this is mine to take care of and I will.”

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

Lmao imagine if a couple wanted to get married in Lindon or Imladris and saw Elrond and was like “sure why not” and just, asked him to witness their vows in place of any actual maiar or valar.

Like the relationship between the elves in the Valar-Only-Mildly-Care Place and the Valar/Maiar themselves has got to still be stiff since elves are stupidly stubborn about holding grudges, so imagine if a couple just went “fuck the valinor glowsticks, Lord Elrond has been feeding us well and sheltering us for over a century. He’s got some ainur blood anyway.”

So they ask Elrond to be witness and he agrees thinking they just want a lord’s blessing or something and then-

“[Elvish Marriage Vows] we swear in the name of Lord Elrond Peredhel and Eru Illuvatar [More Marriage Vows]”

And at this point Elrond just has to roll with it but he bluescreens later while Erestor and Glorfindel laugh at him (Celebrian and or Gil-Galad too if they’re around)

Bonus points if It becomes a tradition in Imladris/Lindon even though he neutrally suggests a vala instead every time like

Elrond, trying not to get smited as soon as he steps foot into Valinor: hey Lady Yavanna is pretty cool though, right?

Elven Couple, exiled thousands of years ago and still frost-bitten: yes, pity there were no flowers in the Grinding Ice, my Lord. Anyways, would you mind being a witness to our wedding ceremony?”

Elrond starts glowing slightly and never lives it down. He goes to Valinor and people still ask him out of tradition or genuine respect and the Valar just have to put a small tapestry of Elrond as a patron of unions or something so they can claim some sort of control over the situation.

Elrond is mortified, and nobody lets him live it down.

[havenotwillnotreadthebooks]

Its a funny thought to wonder how a Finwion Custody Battle over Gil-Galad would go, but consider; everyday elves keep trying to make Gil-Galad king again.

Gil-Galad is dodging various crowns left and right. The die-hard feanorians see that the king who reluctantly took them in after mae&mags died is back and immediately try to swear allegiance anew while Feanor and his sons are on probation (to Elrond’s delight, the little shit). Gil-Galad makes an inspirational speech about the inherent danger of Oaths (think; TedTalk). Unfortunately, that only makes him look more kingly and they might as well have sweared anyway.

All the lords of Gondolin are either trying to remain in Retirement or don’t have enough reputation points. Turgon is distracted with his reembodied wife and rebuilding Gondolin anew. So the Gondolindrim elves keep trying to make Gil-Galad their representative in Finarfin’s high court since he’s obviously of Nolofinwion heritage. Gil-Galad dodges that Kingly Position only because he makes a petition for Egalmoth to become the new head advisor and official representative of Gondolin in Valinor in Turgon’s stead.

The Doriathrim have their own king back (all hail Thingol and his weird tree wife). But they still wanna give back to the king that took them in as refugees. So the Doriathrim try to elect and sell Gil-Galad’s reputation to Thingol. Gil-Galad almost becomes a part of Thingol’s court as a highly-respected advisor and steward. He doesn’t only becomes he throws Elrond to the wolves and books It before the Doriathrim aren’t distracted by their strange, distant prince suddenly appearing.

Even the Avari get in on it as some point. They try to elect Gil-Galad their Noldoran representative in Valinor for all the tribes because he always treated them fairly in Middle-Earth, he doesn’t treat them as second-class citizens, and he doesn’t treat them like savage idiots. Unfortunately, that’s basically being High King of The Avari. Gil-Galad escapes this crown by honorably (panickingly) saying that an elven race should have their own leader from their own people. He encourages the Avari to represent themselves and face discrimination with their heads held high. Gil-Galad doesn’t become king but the Avari see him as a king in his own right nonetheless (which he pretends to not notice).

Anyway, the entire premise is that the universe keeps trying to make Gil-Galad a king or king-adjustant. but Gil keeps dodging every crown and sleeping in Elrond's guestroom (or the couch, during the Doriath Incident)

The end result is that every elven race ends up seeing him as a king anyway, even without people actively, publicly following him.

(Of course, the Feanorians follow him discreetly, but Gil-Galad won’t make a fuss as long as they are quiet about it.)

He thinks the Feanorians will abandon him when Feanor & Co’s probation ends. He is wrong, and Gil-Galad becomes an ambassador for the Feanorian Faction, to Elrond’s delight (little shit).