#talking about how she dumped all her friends because “they don't care enough about real world issues”

[icedteaandoldlace]

"I saw her watching The Grinch the other day. I thought about booting her off on Christmas, but then I thought, no, that's just too mean. I'll wait until her birthday."

–Bestie talking about when she's gonna evict the ex-bestie from her Peacock account

[webslingingslasher]

okay ! okay ! i have things to say I HAVE THINGS TO SAY !

so i was listening to sabrina carpenter’s cover of ‘i knew you were trouble’ and i don’t known if this happens for other ppl but like i hear lyrics differently based on how they’re sung. and this cover was like so so so sad. and it got me thinking of trouble when peter and her ‘breakup’ (like the situationship break up where peter is an asshole and tells her not to go feeling special yk) and then it reminded me of the time trouble thought he was dating someone else right after and storms to the frat house. like the line “i heard you moved on from whispers on the street” and i literally wanted to sob because like not only is this their exact situation but like, she’s his trouble.

i had this thought in class today and i genuinely felt so sad cause ik it’s just a fic but it’s real to me ok 😭

okay that’s all, have a marvelous day <3

- 🧃

:((((((((((

let's circle back. you aren't mad when you heard peter moved on, you're just really, really hurt. so hurt you're numb to embarrassment. you don't care peter's with his friends, the same ones you spent months around.

'was i just a fuck to you?' it's so sad sounding. like everything you ever had with him boiled down to nothing, you were just a warm body. nothing special, just what he had for the moment.

it's been weeks, you've ignored him at all costs, and this is the first thing to say to him? all his friends are looking at him, but he only has his eyes on you. 'what?' because, if there was one thing he wanted you to take from the relationship, that even if it ended, it was real to him.

'a new notch in your belt? was that all it boiled down to? i was just someone to fuck?' peter can't decide of your words hurt or offend him. 'why would you say that?'

'i heard about your girlfriend. i just really wish it was from you, cause that really fucking hurts. especially when you tried to tell me all you ever wanted was me.'

that's what it took for peter to get up, gently pushing you towards the library doors. 'c'mon, trouble. let's talk.' you feel dumb, like he played you for a fool. you've felt like one for awhile, this just made it real.

'i don't really want to. i just want to know what she has that i don't.' peter tries again, 'can i please talk to you? outside?' if it means he'll give you an answer, you'll do it. isn't this closure?

you walk out on him, he's left chasing after you. the second he has you outside, he pleads. 'there is no girlfriend. none. i promise you.' even when he has nothing to lose, he lies.

'don't even try this game, peter. she said it was you, alright?'

peter holds his hands up, 'i'm not saying she didn't, but she wasn't talking about me. trouble, i haven't even looked at another girl since you dumped me.' the calmness in his voice had you beliving him.

'there's nothing wrong with you, trouble. there's something wrong with me. i let you go, and i'm going to punish myself forever. there's not another girl, there's never going to be another girl.'

'when i said all i wanted was you, i wasn't lying. i'm still not. it kills me to think you think so little of me. i know i wasn't the best to you, but you were never just a hookup to me.'

a sad smile, he didn't move on, but at what cost?

'but not enough to change it.' peter lets you have it, he lost his fight when you walked out on him. 'yeah, i guess so.' even if you don't believe it, and it feels like bile spewing from your mouth, you give him your blessing.

'don't let me stop you, peter. just promise me you'll be a good boyfriend when the right person comes along.'

all peter does is nod because you'll never understand you're the right person, and that's his fault, because he let you walk away for the second time with that thought in his heart and mind.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for dropping a friend after she was groomed again?

my (16f) best friend (15f) and I have been best friends for about 3 years. Recently, she has been dating older and older guys. It started as a 17 year old, which is not that bad but it slowly got worse. Then she started dating a 18 year old online, then a 19 year old marine. Then a 21 year old online. Each time I told her the same thing.

We have both been groomed in the passes, we both know how bad it is. Stop talking to older men online, every time you end up relapsing and getting hurt.

Everytime she says she is old enough to be with older men and that this one is different.

It is so hard. I would tell someone but when I discussed going to a school counselor she told me she would kill herself. I didn't bring it up again.

I only barely kept her from meeting up with a frat bro in his 20s.

Everytime it ends the same, she starts sexting with them, they send pics, she gets asked for pics and refuses and they dump her, then next month she is coming to terms with being groomed.

I don't know what I could have done. Any even hint of going to someone results in her threatening to kill herself.

Its so draining. It affects me too, I have dealt with this trauma and having it spit at me every month is awful I failed my first test because she kept me up all night venting about how she relapsed and sending me pictures even when I told her I struggled with it and it's triggering.

This last time I was over it. She started dating a guy who was 26. She is 15. I told her was the same as everyone else. She told me I'm just jealous because older men don't like to date me.

It ended the same. He dumped her when she wouldnt send nudes or meet up irl.

The month after she came crying to me at school. She said she didn't know why this kept happening. She didn't know why these guys were always creeps.

I told her that she kept putting herself in this position. She would always assume they loved her. I told her I can't keep doing this and that I can't stay friends with someone who cares so little about the real world.

She called me a jealous fat bitch who can't pull.

I told her that she only pulls pedophiles which is not something to brag about.

She has not talked to me for 2 weeks.

Our mutual friend told me that she has been saying I'm jealous of her looks and charm.

What the fuck do I do.

A lot of my friends say I'm an asshole for blaming her for her kinks. I told them she shouldn't act on kinks that involve pedophiles. She is also 15 and maybe shouldn't be thinking about kinks at all

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[r1ddly]

pretty please talk about your crane.

Yes!!! I'd love to talk about him!!!

TW: gore and abuse- I'm sure there's more but I'm blanking on what it could be so be careful on reading!! Also sorry I'm on mobile and idk how to insert the keep reading thing LMAO

So in my verse my crane has been scarecrow for much longer then others, it started immediately after killing great granny- he grew up tortured by him and he hated her and his birth mother with all of his being. He never knew his father and his mom died in childbirth, while pregnant with Jonathan though she tried her best to kill him without getting an abortion which led him to have fetal alcohol syndrome disorder, he was also born with coloboma, scoliosis, and had a bad overbite when he was younger. Before going to college (I'd say around 17 to 18) he and his grandmother got into a tussle that lead to her death, he was so angry he skinned her face off and drenched her blood into her prized white scarf, he wears the face as his mask as scarecrow and also wears the scarf.

No one in Gotham knows he's scarecrow, most people if not all believe scarecrow is just a rumor, a boogeyman of sorts to warn people to not be so reckless but no he's real. He stalks at bars and strip clubs waiting for the right people to jump out and beg for him to swoop them away (in his mind at least), he's pretty well connected with people and holds a lot of black mail on specific bar/club owners so they let him do his business. Scarecrow has a lot of hideouts around Gotham that he dubs as "crows nests" where he keeps most his equipment, not a lot of them have victims but when they do they're organized but it's extremely disgusting. He keeps them in dog cages (sizes very) almost to completely naked, the cages are rusty and more then occasionally has someone in it still (dead or alive is 50/50), these specific crows nests is where he experiments his fear toxin on them, to see how strong it is and the affects- he does a lot of experiments from very simple ones like just injecting it into the vains to extreme or questionable like seeing if body excrement like urine or sweat can extract the fear toxin if injected in high enough doses. When people die though depending on their usefulness he uses in creative ways, some he creates as human chemical chambers as he'll insert a bunch of chemicals that when given energy (like from a defibrillator) would cause a chain reaction and produce fear toxin or a close equivalent to it (usually these are people who are still alive somewhat), others he'll dump them in the Gotham bay or dump, places he knows people don't care about.

As crane he pretends to he jolly, he's always smiling calmly and us very kind and gentle with his patients though realistically he doesn't care about them whatsoever. Nurses think he's got an ugly boy charm about him and are friendly to him and most psychiatrists there are pretty respectful of him, no one ever questions him and his actions as compared to everyone else he's the smartest member of the team, only one to question him is arkham but he's too intimidated by him to do anything.

He's extremely cunning and violent, he often plays games both as crane and scarecrow and is often in a goofy silly mood- a serious crane/scarecrow is an absolutely scary thought ngl! He doesn't really have any friends, closest I'd say is arkham (who when finds out he's scarecrow is forced to become his assistant) and riddler, I think I've mentioned it before in the post about Quandarism but riddler does a lot of exiling and he usually give those exiles to scarecrow as he knows he'll wipe them out of existence

Also here's a list of little tidbits about him that I'm only now remembering

He was born with bad joint and muscle problems and thus is always in discomfort or pain, because he's so used to it he can't tell the difference in pain when being punched compared to his joint and muscle problems, he's pretty resilient because of it

Also because of his joint problems he has a cane, the handle is in the shape if a crow

He uses Sickles instead of a scythe

He often has trouble finding companionship or even the heart to care, when he does he doesn't know how to handle it and usually leads to death or even worse

When not being scarecrow or pretending to be dr. Crane he's just dissociating.

He doesn't have DID, I can definitely see him having it but I just don't feel comfortable writing that for him (reasons)

He doesn't care or like most things, he doesn't like animals, he's not a fan of music or movies or art, he doesn't eat a lot of food so he doesn't care. When he does like something it's extremely specific and nothing is consistent

That's a gist I think, there's a lot more about him but that's all I can really think of for him atm. I have another anon asking about my riddler that I'll get to later- hope you weren't too grossed out! Lmao!

[hawthorneonarainyday]

Who We Are - Steve Harrington (1)

Prologue | Steve 2 | Eddie | Billy | Ian

The two of them had been friends for twenty-two years now. They'd grown up right next to each other, casually holding hands for all their lives. What neither of them had ever considered, though, was that their relationship could ever be anything else. They were just them, Steve and her. Right? Attention! - This is the second part of 'Grey Overalls and Rainy Days'. Please read that one first if you haven't yet! Information you might need ♥ ~ Word Count: 15.648 3rd Person (She/Her) Flashbacks will be presented in completely cursive to better distinguish between now and then, since tumblr doesn't really have the best typesetting options.

In this chapter you will find: Rain, cursing, a down in the dumps Steve, slow-burn childhood bestfriends to lovers, a lot of physical contact, canon tinkering, flashbacks and a fuck ton of spoilers for the 80s movie 'Beaches'. There will be mentions of food and eating, blood, canon level violence, loss, grief, shock, death, sex, trauma, bad parenting, sexual harrassment (specifically at dates) alcohol and reader having her period so please remain careful, my children! At one point reader will be loosely compared to Molly Ringwald, but to not alienate anyone I'll explicitly say that it is not because reader looks like her. It can be, if you want it to, but it's definitely not required. I point that out loud and clear and Steve will do so too, so please don't feel put out by that.

Enjoy ♥

The days rain still lay in the air, although the drops themselves had stopped – for now. Petrichor was still wafting all around them, now with tiny hints of cool night air. Hawkins population was slowly but surely getting home for the night. Mothers ushered their kids ahead of them, teenage girls locked their bedroom doors but unlocked their windows and most of Hawkins general stores were flipping their signs from ‘OPEN’ to ‘CLOSED’.

That was something she did as well.

Eddie held the door open and she skipped out into the night, glad she decided to not deal with the taxes for now. The metalhead himself was talking about a campaign he would love to throw for the party, but didn’t really have the time to and she was reminded of how good a story teller he was. No wonder the boys still loved to invite him around as a dungeon master whenever they got the chance.

“So, I was thinking I’d add in this really messed up dragon hybrid and he’s g- hey isn’t that Harringtons car?” Blinking at the rather rapid change of subject, she followed his pointing and damn straight. That was the red BMW she’d spent all day cleaning.

“Uh…yeah, actually. It is.” Her brows furrowed as she squinted into the night, trying to make out the familiar lines of Steve’s nose and hair.

And sure enough, there he was. Slumped behind the driver’s seat with his head down, one hand grabbing the steering wheel. “What the…Uhm, Eddie, gimme a minute.”

“Sure, go ahead. I’ll wait in the van?”

“Yeah, thanks.” With one shimmy, she shouldered her bag properly and jogged on over to Steve. He didn’t look up as she came closer, not giving her much choice but to knock at the window. Inside, Steve flinched, his hand letting go of the wheel and grabbing his chest. The shock didn’t last long though, because just a moment later he was rolling the window down.

“Jesus, don’t do that to me. You’ll give me a heart attack.”

“Your fault for not noticing me.” Chuckling, she leaned down to peer into the car, trying to see the mysterious flower shop girl. Why would she be there? Well, it wasn’t the first time Steve made a pit stop on one of his dates just to drive her home real quick. The red BMW, however, was completely empty aside from Steve. “Steve, what are you doing here? I thought you had a date.” The man in question just sighed and let his head fall back against the headrest. There was a slight pout to his face. “Steve?”

“Listen. Wanna cash in those burgers now? We could grab some and then go…I dunno, somewhere.”

“Uhm…I mean, yeah. Sure. Why not. Let me just tell Eddie, okay?”

“Eddie?”

“Yeah, he came by earlier and offered to drive me home.”

“Oh. Okay, yeah, go ahead. I’ll wait.”

“But Steve, what about…?”

“Just…forget about that, okay?” The way he said it was more than pleading. Even if she didn’t like it, she nodded and jogged on over to Eddie’s car. He was already inside, the van running and waiting. Unlike Steve, he immediately noticed her getting closer and rolled down the window.

“You’re going with him, I take?”

“Yeah, sorry Eddie. I think…I don’t know, I think he needs some company.”

“It’s fine, Princess, you go check on him. But I demand full intel tomorrow!” She chuckled.

“I’ll see what I can do ‘bout that. Thanks Eddie.”

“See ya, princess!” The van roared to life with a deep growl and she stepped away from the window. It didn’t take long for Eddie to leave the car park behind. She reached Steve’s car just as quickly. A simple pull on the door handle and she plopped into the seat with a content sigh.

Steve’s car just felt… right.

Over the years, she’d spent so much time in that passenger seat that it felt more like home than the single wide she actually called home. Steve next to her watched her buckle herself in before wordlessly putting the car into gear. She didn’t ask where they were going, he didn’t offer any intel on the matter.

They didn’t have to.

Neither of them spoke. Steve veered the car through what Hawkins called ‘evening rush’ with practiced ease while she gazed out of the window next to her. She could see Joyce Byers locking up the door to Melvald’s General Store, still in her uniform. Next door in Radio Shack, there was still light burning. Maybe some last-minute repairs or something. Or maybe the guy working there had forgotten to turn them off. Who knew?

New, fresh rain was starting to dribble down the window, obscuring her view. Within moments, the world outside was turned into a blurry mess of colours and shapes. She could still vaguely tell where they were simply because it was the town she’d lived in for all of her life, but it got harder and harder. Soon, she had to turn her eyes to the windshield, it being the only place that still offered a semi-clear view. The windshield wipers were going left and right in their own rhythm, as if something invisible spurred them on. Well, she knew how they worked. But where was the mystery in that?

Watching the wipers do their job was…hypnotic. Without actively choosing to do so, her eyes were following their path left and right and left and right and she could feel herself get drowsy. Though that was probably less the wipers and more the fact that she’d gotten up early and worked a lot more than expected. Her day was supposed to be mainly office stuff plus the cunninghams car, and yet…

“Tired?” Steve asked, his finger rhythmically tapping against the steering wheel, led by the indicators soft ‘click click click click’. She sighed and sank back further into the seat.

“Yeah.”

“You could’ve said something. I can take you home.”

“It’s fine. It’s just the drive.” Steve hummed lightly.

“Of course it is.”

The boy pulled into the car park of Rosemary’s Diner with ease. If it weren’t so dangerous and irresponsible, she would’ve challenged him to do it with his eyes closed. Honestly, he might actually pull it off. They’d been here often enough. While most people preferred Benny’s Diner, both Steve and her had always chosen Rosemary’s whenever they got a chance. Mostly when it was just the two of them.

Sure, she’d pestered Ian sometimes to go with her. And, far as she was aware, Steve had brought some dates here over the years. Both of them had dragged their little group of misfits with them more than once and while they rarely complained, they both knew that this place never clicked quite as well with the rest of them. Maybe it was the food, maybe it was the atmosphere and maybe it was just the fact that she and Steve had been coming here ever since they were old enough to go to a diner on their own.

Inside, the lights were bright and welcoming, just like always.

Steve held the door for her and she stepped inside, both manoeuvring the etablissement with well-practised ease. Down the checkered tiles to the second to last booth – second to last, never the one before or after that – where both of them dropped down into their favoured seats at the same time. Her back was facing the door, while Steve liked to be able to survey the entire room. Menus were pushed aside; they would order the usual thing anyway. Doreen, their favourite waitress, saw them from afar and nodded towards them. Not to indicate anything, just recognition.

The seats hissed familiarly with every move she made as she drew her legs under her in a position that should be uncomfortable but really wasn’t. Steve was already slouched back into the burgundy leather of his booth, his face…complicated.

That was probably the best thing to call it.

It wasn’t an expression she knew from Steve, which should be impossible after over twenty years together. But then again, one was never done learning. That probably applied to people as well.  

“Hey you guys, nice to have you back!” She raised her head to meet the dark brown eyes of Doreen with a smile. The older waitress was grinning down at them, her braided hair pulled back into a ponytail that made her seem a lot younger than she was. There were some stains on her pale-yellow uniform, likely coffee, but other than that she looked at dewy as ever.

“Hiya Doreen. How’s it going?” She offered while Steve just nodded semi-friendly. Normally, she would have kicked his shins for that, but she accepted it for today. At least he’d greeted her at all. Doreen had noticed too, apparently, because she threw him a knowing glance but kept quiet.

“Ah, you know. Same as always in this old thing. Enough guests to keep it running but never many.” She shrugged. “You’re getting the usual?”

“Sure, we are.”

“Neat-o! So that’d be two cheeseburgers – one without onions – a large basket of fries with mayonnaise and ketchup and two shakes – strawberry and vanilla. Did I miss anything?” She couldn’t help but grin at that.

“Perfect like always, Doreen. Thanks.” Doreen nodded and turned on her heels, and she remembered another thing. “Oh hey, Doreen?”

“Yeah?”

“Add a coffee to that. As strong as you can legally brew it, yeah?”

“Oooh, the order changed. Exciting!” Steve rolled his eyes and she grinned. “Consider it done, sweet thing. Won’t be long.”

“Thanks!” Doreen strolled back over to the kitchen, leaving both her and Steve to themselves. The latter was still quietly staring into the void, his mind clearly somewhere else. Worry dipped her brows as she watched him. She’d seen Steve after bad dates often enough. Sometimes he was annoyed, sometimes he was angry. Sometimes he was sad but tried to act like he wasn’t, fully knowing that she knew, and sometimes he was just plain sad. Those were the things she expected. A ranty, maybe whiny, Steve. A mopey, pouty Steve. Maybe even a sad one.

But he wasn’t any of those things.

On the contrary, behind the complicatedness of it all, he looked…defeated? Reserved? Maybe both. Like a man that had failed. Or better: A man that had given up. She’d seen that face on someone else before, and it hadn’t been a good thing. She didn’t really like seeing it on Steve.

“I’m fine.” He said and she blinked in surprise.

“What?”

“I’m fine.” Steve sighed, kicking her dangling leg softly. “Stop staring holes in my face. And unfurrow your brows, you’ll get wrinkly, old girl.” She scoffed.

“I wouldn’t need to furrow my brows if your soul stopped taking a smoke break, you know?” But her fingers rubbed over the space between her brows anyway. “’Old girl’, really? Tsk.” Steve rolled his eyes and she turned towards the large window to her left. She couldn’t see much with the outside being nearly pitch black and the inside brightly lit. So instead of seeing the car park, she saw her own sorry expression staring back at her.

“Shit.” Edging closer to the window, she surveyed her own appearance with disdain.

She looked horrendous.

Since she came here directly from work, she was still clad in her stupid overalls. She should really start packing a change of clothes…She didn’t have too many nice clothes anyway but the grey work overalls must have been amongst the worst she owned. They were built for practicality and comfort, with a whole bunch of pockets and the loose fit. But they didn’t look great. This one, the one she was wearing today, was especially bad since she hadn’t gotten around to altering it. It was an ill fit in most places and it was stained. Fine for work, not so much for anything else.

And, of course, her hair was a mess as well. It stuck up in weird places and It was extremely greasy after a days’ worth of work. She had a sweaty job, alright? And in front of her boys – and Steve – she didn’t mind. They’d seen her look worse and she’d seen them look worse. But she felt iffy sitting in a diner like that. God, she hadn’t even wiped her face, had she? It was probably greasy as well.

“You could have told me I look like crap.” She muttered, wiping her face with her sleeve before getting to work on her hair. She couldn’t salvage much but she could damn well try.

“You look like you always do.”

…Ouch.

She send the boy a glare and let go of her hair. Not better, but at least differently messy. Oh well, it was what it was. Nothing she could do about it now, was there?

Steve was back to being zoned out. So much so, that he didn’t even notice that Doreen brought their food until she kicked his shins. He flinched, blinked, and looked around confusedly. She rolled her eyes and grappled for his plate. Using just two fingers, she’d picked out the pickles Steve so seemed to detest and replaced them with one of her tomatoes. Sure, he could just have ordered the burger without pickles and with extra tomatoes, but why bother?

Happy with her fixing job, she got to the fries, each one loaded up with mayonnaise, before tackling her burger. The smell alone caused her to feel extremely ravenous, to be perfectly honest, and she nearly melted when her teeth sunk into the goodness that was this burger.

With each bite, she felt the crispy softness of the bun, the crunch of fresh salad and tomatoes as well as the greasy cheese-patty combo. And in combination with the slight tang of Rosemary’s mystery sauce? To die for. Really, in an apocalypse she would likely murder for this burger alone.

Steve didn’t seem to agree, though. At least not today. Usually, the boy inhaled his food much faster than she ever could and she always had to battle him for the fries. Otherwise, he’d eat all of them and leave her high and dry for some oily potato sticks. Likely the reason why she’d started to eat the fries first and her burger last, since Steve did it exactly the other way around.

But today, the Harrington boy picked apart his burger slowly and thoughtfully. Sauce and grease quickly covered his fingers, which he didn’t seem to notice. Only a few bites made it into his mouth each time he looked conscious before he was right back to mindlessly playing with his food. He didn’t say a thing while they ate - and sure, she was more than fine with just existing around him. The two of them were long over the need to always do something together. She couldn’t count the days they had wasted away without talking, lounging around in the same bubble but each doing their own thing. They were masters at just existing in the same space.

In combination with his current mood, however, she felt her patience start to wear thin. It wasn’t even really because of him or his mood, it was because she didn’t know what was going on and thus didn’t know what to do about it. She couldn’t really help Steve if he didn’t open his big gob.

After nearly fourty five minutes of complete silence, spent exclusively watching him pick apart the burger into goddamn atoms, she pulled out her wallet and threw some cash on the table. Enough to pay for the both of them. That, finally, got Steve out of his reverie.

“Hey, we said it’s my treat.”

“Yeah, fuck that, Harrington. You can pay me back later.” Sighing, she fished out some wet wipes from her handbag and wiped his hands. He just let it happen, watching her closely as she wiped remnants of grease and sauce of his phalanges. “Come on. Let’s go somewhere, I need to stretch my legs before I fall asleep sitting up.” He winced.

“Sorry. I can take you home now.”

“Why, trying to get rid of me now, are we?”

“You know that’s never it.”

“Yeah, I know. Come on, up with you.” Not letting go of his hand, she rose from her seat and pulled him up with her. “Bye Doreen!”

“Bye guys!” The older woman waved them goodbye from behind the counter, not even checking if they’d left money. Even if they did forget, they’d be back before it could actually be missed. Not that that ever happened before.

Outside, Steve naturally tried to head towards the car, but her hand in his stopped him. Confused, he turned towards her, keys already in hand and pointing towards his car.

“The car is over there.”

“Sure is. But we’re not going to your car just yet.”

“Huh?” She rolled her eyes.

“I told you. I need to stretch my legs. The ten steps from our booth to your car don’t really do the trick.”

“Wait, what do you mean?” Groaning, she let go of his hand only to get behind him and push him along.

“I mean: Move your arse, Harrington, we’re taking a god damn walk.”

“Ugh, but it’s raining.”

“Cry me a river!” She scoffed and pushed on. “You know, you’re no basketballer anymore. Some exercise might actually be good for you, dumbass.”

“I hate walks!”

“Move your god damn legs!” He did, reluctantly so.

At first, he was going annoyingly slow, obviously trying to not get too far away from the car in case she suddenly decided it was enough walking for a day. The more steps they took however, the more he picked up on speed. It took only a few minutes for them to reach a comfortable pace, easily falling into a rhythmic step beside each other.

The sky was still leaking above them, rain coating them in a fine spray of water that would feel incredibly wet the longer they left it there. But, in a way, it was a nice walk anyway. And what did her mum always say?

‘Light exercise is the best way to sort out a muddled mind, pumpkin. And nothing helps more than walking. Back home, I’d often walk the length of a town, just trying to get my brain in order!’

The memory had her throat tighten up for a moment.

One should really thing that four years would take care of grief, but in the end they didn’t do shit. It still felt the same, whenever she thought about her family. That couldn’t be normal, could it? Or maybe it was. Who knew.

Steve’s shoulder bumped against hers, pulling her attention back to him. Once again, he looked lost in thought. Less zoned out, but still not completely here. His brown eyes, nearly black with the absence of light, were pointedly focused on the ground below them and his hands were shoved into the pockets of his jean-jacket.

With another sigh, she looped her arm through his and looked up at him. He barely turned his face towards her, brows raised – a silent half-question. Which, she decided, wasn’t enough right now. She slightly shook his arm, pushing him to give her his full attention. Thankfully, he did.

“Okay, pretty boy. This is where I stop asking and you start talking. Because I’m slowly losing my mind here.”

“Boredom or worry?”

“Half half.” A deep sigh and he looked around for nothing in particular.

“Me saying something like ‘shitty date, is all’ is probably not going to cut it, is it?”

“Yeah, no. Try again.”

“…Shitty date is probably still true.”

“Okay? Why was the date shitty, then?” Steve scoffed.

“Probably because I have shitty taste in girls. Women.” Immediately, she felt herself bristle.

“What did that bitch do?” He rolled his eyes.

“Don’t call her that.”

“What did she do, Steven?” He sighed, using his free hand to ruffle his hair.

“Okay, so… When she asked me out, she was weirdly specific, right?” She nodded, not caring too much about the long story. But if that’s how he wanted to tell it - fine. “She was all like ‘Do you want to go to the cinema with me on Tuesday at seven fourty five?’ and I thought it was kinda weird to ask like that, but hey maybe she’s just one of those…those OCD-types, right? What do I know? Maybe she just feels the need to specify everything or her dad was a vet or whatever. Don’t know, don’t care.” She didn’t point out that seven fourty five wasn’t military time. “So, I agree, knowing I’d likely have to pester Robin into switching with me, which wasn’t easy because it was a Keith shift and who wants to do those? But who cares, it was flower shop girl, right?”

“Right.”

“Yeah. So today, after I left, I got home, got ready and picked her up exactly on time. When she got in I noticed that she was, like, really nervous for some reason.”

“What, because of you?”

“That’s what I wondered. I mean, I bought a gazillion flowers from her and she rents videos regularly, so it’s not like we’re total strangers. And I’m not weird, right? Like, creepy weird. Rapey weird.” She nodded as he threw her a glance and he carried on. “Right, otherwise she probably wouldn’t have asked me. So, I’m, like, extremely confused as to why she’s so skittish.”

“How skittish are we talking?”

“Her voice was an octave or so higher the whole time.”

“Jesus.”

“Exactly.” Steve shook his head. “Anyway, I drive up to the theatre and try to get a conversation going, you know? Drop some funny lines, talk about work, anything. But she barely answers and is all evasive and weird and I’m already like ‘Oh great, this date is going to be fun.’.” Angrily, he kicked something out of the way. A pebble? “But that isn’t even the worst thing. I mean, sure, I really…I was really amped for that date. But bad dates happen, you know? You get annoyed and then you move on or something. I don’t know.”

“I know what you mean, Steve. Carry on.”

“Dude, I’m on it.” He sighed shaking his head. “Anyway. Theatre. We get out of the car and I go to buy the tickets-“

“Why the fuck did you-“

“I don’t know, I just did.”

“She asked you out, Steve! She can pay!”

“But she didn’t okay? Let me finish talking.” She grumbled something under her breath, but let him go on. “So, I go to buy the tickets, she’s waiting by the door. And then we go in and whoosh.” He mimed an explosion with his hands. “She sticks to me like glue. It’s like someone flipped a switch and she went from ‘why am I here?’ to full on date mode. And she’s, like, pulling all the stops. She’s flirting like a mad woman, batting her eyelids super often and talking about how nice I look and how nice it was that I agreed to this date and stuff. And she’s super loud too, right?” Slowly, something dawned in her mind and she didn’t like it one bit. “So, I am like ‘Uhm…what exactly is going on here?’ but she just keeps talking. And then we get to the front of the popcorn line and some dude greets us and he keeps staring at her all wistfully and shit while she finds 87 ways to say the word ‘date’ in a non-committal context.” He stopped, kicking at nothing at she watched him with furrowed brows.

“She wanted to make that guy jealous. And she used you to do it.” He scoffed, his eyes focusing on nothing in particular.

“Yeah. And I was stupid enough to say yes.”

“Steve.”

“She probably noticed that I was literally buying her out of flowers and came to the conclusion that sure, Harrington is hare brained and will never realise what is going on. Why not use him like some sort of accessory, it’s not like he’s got much more going on!”

“Steve, stop that.” She pulled him to a stop, turning him towards her in the process. Steve’s brows were deeply furrowed, nearly touching in the middle, and there was a definite pout to his lips. “Stop trash talking yourself. None of this is because of you.” He tsked.

“Right. Sure, who if not me, then?” She stared at him, incredulously.

“Her. It is because of her, Steve. She asked you out to make another guy jealous because she noticed that you liked her. She used your feelings against you, not the other way around.”

“And why did I have feelings? That her fault too or what?”

“What are you even talking about, Steve?”

“I mean, how often have I actually talked to her? I barely knew her, right? We’re loose acquaintances at best. So why? Why like her so much that I buy a bunch of ugly fucking bouquets every other day? Those fucking things looked like shit because she’s horrible at making them, but I still spend a fortune on them simply so I could watch her talk about flowers for ten minutes. Shit, I’m not even a flower guy to begin with! Do I look like someone who cares that gardenias are considered deer resistant shrubs?” He really seemed to believe that he had any choice in the matter, which had her brows dip further.

“Steve, you can’t actually believe the bullshit you’re spewing right now.” He shrugged, pushing the moist hair from his face.

“Well, I don’t know anymore. I must be doing’ something wrong, seeing as every god damn girl I come close to liking just ends up treating me like shit.” Pinching his nose, he took a step back. “I mean, I’m not exactly a catch. Right. I know that.” He gestured around, more angry than necessary. “I know what they see, okay? Har har Harrington, high school hasbeen that couldn’t get into college and is still working a shitty job at fucking family video. Right, sure, I get it. Oh yeah, add the ugly ass scars I can’t explain – not that anyone even gets close to seeing them lately. But why can’t they just tell me? I mean, they could just tell me to fuck off and I’d be gone.” Swallowing heavily, he quieted for a moment. “I’m so…I’m so sick of growing to like people who don’t like me back. Who don’t even want to get to know me, like actually me. Not ‘Steve Harrington, the family video looser’, but me.”

Her throat felt tight as she watched him rant, rain slipping down his hair and face. Hearing what he thought about himself was always difficult, because, for some reason, Steve literally thought he was the worst person alive. No matter what she said, no matter what she did, his opinion never seemed to change.

Steve Harrington viewed himself as little more than trash.

“How is that your fault, Steve? Any of that?” Hot anger rose in her chest, not at him but for him. “You couldn’t get into college – so what! Who gives a shit? And sure, you work at family video. But at least you work!” She shrugged. “That’s miles better than anything any of them likely ever did. And liking someone is…We can’t choose who we like. You just…you just like who you like.”

“That’s a bullshit answer and you know it.”

“Yeah? Well. It’s yours.”

“What?”

“It’s what you told me. While I was crying over Ian and cursing myself over ever falling for him you said exactly that.” He scoffed, his head falling back.

“I give shit advise.”

“Yeah, but you mean well.” Sighing, she grabbed his hand. “Steve, listen to me. Properly, okay?”

“Fine.”

“That stupid cunt used you. And that is not your fault.”

“But-”

“No, it’s not. You didn’t do anything, Steve! I mean, what would you tell me? If the situation was reversed? Let’s say I…I don’t know, let’s say I’m on a date with, uh, with…Jonathan.”

“Byers?”

“Yeah.”

“Yikes.”

“Stay focused.” She rolled her eyes. “So, I’m on a date with Byers and turns out he just wanted Nancy to get angry or jealous or whatever. And obviously I’m heartbroken because wow, I’m so in love with Byers-“ Steve winced.

“I’m not in love.”

“- that I can barely contain myself. What would you tell me?” Steve looked down at her, his dark eyes raking her face as he thought.

“…Probably the same thing.”

“Which is what?”

“…It’s not your fault. He used you, not the other way around.”

“Right. And?”

“I’d probably try to hit him with my car. That’s long overdue anyway.”

“Yeah, I get it. Flower shop girl just got first place on my shit list. But that’s not what I mean.”

“Then what?”

“Is it my fault that I fell in love with Jonathan Byers?” Steve turned his face towards her, looking just as wet and sorry as he did, and sighed.

“…No.”

“But I could have known better. He’s obsessed with Nancy, so this was totally unavoidable, wasn’t it?” Steve’s brows dipped.

“Yeah, so? It’s not like you wanted to fall in love with Byers, you just did. Maybe that’s dumb, but you can’t choose who-“ he stopped short.

“Yeah?”

“…You can’t choose who you like.”

“Right. You can’t.” She sighed. “You don’t always need to hold yourself up to higher standards than everyone else, you know? You’re…you’re just human, like the rest of us.”

“I know.”

“Do you now? Because sometimes I’m not so sure you do, Steve.” She vividly remembered many times where his perfectionism hat nearly driven him insane. “You always blame yourself for things that aren’t you fault. Always did, ever since we were kids.” It wasn’t hard to guess where he’d got it from. His parents weren’t ever shy about blaming their child for everything wrong with their life. His mum did it passively, with neglect and pejorative remarks while his dad just straight up told him why he was the shittest thing in their collective lives. Steve, apparently, had internalised that knowledge far too deep.  And now it always came back to haunt him.

Like that one time.

It was a day she barely remembered. The memory was fuzzy, either with age or because her mind simply didn’t want her to remember. What was it, a day after Starcourt? Two days? She didn’t even really know. It could have been years or minutes; everything felt the same.

Hopeless.

Hopelessness was winding around her like thin wires, squeezing and pulling at the same time. Wherever the wires touched her, they would dig into her skin, painfully tearing the tender flesh of her body apart. Maybe she should just have done it, set her jaw and bear with it, just like she’d been doing every time she’d gotten hurt that day. Pain was nothing new to her, in the past three years she’d learned how to deal with it but, for some reason she just…she just couldn’t.

When she looked down at her arms, she expected to see blood. And sure, there was blood. But that was old, already drying. She didn’t see any new blood. Nothing was actually ripping her skin apart, and yet she could feel it. She could feel the lines on her skin, the places she was barely keeping together.

Every movement, every breath was painful. So, so painful that she wanted to scream. To her, moving meant pain. And a lot of pain meant that she was dying.

So, she just didn’t move.

She sat there, on the floor in Steve’s bedroom, unmoving, with her legs pulled against her chest. Why Steve’s room or how she’d even gotten there in the first place was something she couldn’t answer. She just knew that she couldn’t move away from that spot, not without falling apart completely. And in that moment, there was no one who could’ve stacked her back together again.

It was uncomfortable.

Her limbs were falling asleep in random moments and the heeled boots she’d been wearing were likely ruining her feet for good. She herself was still bloody, sweaty and disgusting and she could feel the layers of grime on her skin. But she didn’t…couldn’t care.

It was uncomfortable, but it was safe.

As long as she didn’t move, she could pretend it wasn’t real. She could pretend that her dad and brother were at the shop, like always, bickering over the right way to tune up the Hillson’s sedan. She could pretend that she hadn’t seen the giant monster that her family had somehow become part of. Because every time she thought of it, she remembered what Nancy told them. She could hear Steve saying: “But instead of, like, screws and metal, the Mind Flayer made its weapon with melted people…?”

Melted people.

Her father, the kindest man she’d ever known. The man who’d tried his hardest to raise her, to give her anything a daughter could need. The man who’d taught her how to ride a bike and how to replace a rotary arm. The man who’d cooked her favourite food whenever she felt down.

And her brother.

The big brother, who’d gone and beaten-up Tommy Hagan after he cheated on her. The brother who’d read her stories as a kid, who’d carry her around whenever she was too lazy to walk. The very brother who’d told her, just the night before, that all he wanted was for her to be happy. Wherever that might be.

Those two were part of the people Steve and Nancy were talking about. And she’d known, she’d known something was weird with her dad ever since he’d been so moody and snappy. He was never like that, never that aggressive, and both her and her brother had been extremely confused and worried. And yet, with little to no argument, she’d just packed her bag and left the minute her brother told her to.

She’d gone to stay with Steve, lounging around at Scoops Ahoy all day instead of just…just going home. Home, where she actually could’ve done something. Where she could’ve helped them.

But she didn’t. And now they were dead.

Those were the thoughts going through her mind on a loop. Every time she arrived at the conclusion it would go back to the start, like a record that spun endlessly. Nothing seemed to be able to turn it off. It just spun and spun and spun. Not even the blood that covered her shirt and skirt turning sticky and disgusting could change that. Nor could the knowledge that at least half the blood was not hers but Steve’s.

Steve…

Steve, who’d spent the past hours talking to her with endless patience. He’d tried to get her to eat, to move. To just do…something. Anything. He never pushed her too hard, but he didn’t ease up. He sat beside her, talked about anything. He turned on music whenever his voice turned weak and the silence became heavy.

He was always there, like a shadow glued to her side. Drifting along the lines of her periphery in hopes to get a rise out of her.

Looking back, she was surprised he’d kept it together that well. She didn’t know if she could’ve done it. If she could’ve acted like she was okay for his sake.

Because Steve wasn’t okay. Of course, he wasn’t. And one day, she finally noticed it.

As always, he’d left his room. Claiming to go and order some dinner. He left, went downstairs and was gone for a good long while. Too long for a phone call. Maybe she was on her way out of her trance, maybe she was already on the threshold to being fully conscious. Or maybe it was the fact that Steve had forgotten to turn on the music. She didn’t know.

But as she sat, still huddled against the dresser in Steve’s room, she heard something…weird. An odd noise she couldn’t quite place. Like…like a sob. Or something. The Harringtons weren’t home, of course, so it couldn’t have been them. But that only left Steve. Steve who was gleefully making conversation up until a moment ago, seemingly completely unaware of how one sided it actually was.

That uncertainty was what finally caused her to get up and move.

Stiff as a board and with great difficulty she peeled herself off the floor, using the wall to prop herself up. Every step she took hurt like hell, her poor, battered feet burning like embers. But she hobbled on, slow but determined. Thank god everything was carpeted, because otherwise Steve might have heard her come down the steps. And knowing him, he would’ve gone right back to acting.

But he didn’t.

And as she entered the Harringtons kitchen, she didn’t find the Steve she’d seen upstairs. Instead, she found a barely eighteen-year-old boy, who’d been tortured and drugged. A boy, who’d spent too long high on adrenaline and was now watching his best friend wither away right there, in his room. A boy who didn’t know what to do, how to help.

He was sitting below the phone, the receiver dangling carelessly somewhere next to him, and he was sobbing. Desperate, scared little noises that had her stop for a moment.

“Steve?” She’d said, her voice raw and broken by prolonged disuse. But the boy had heard her, flinching as his head snapped towards her. The moment his dark eyes landed on her, standing in the door way, he’d started to cry even harder. Violent sobs started to shake him, a sight that had her feel dizzy.

“It’s you.” Was all he managed to say between all the sobbing, his face buried in his hands. The sobs got louder too, his relieve mixing into the whole mess of emotions he was already facing. Watching that, watching as he broke down with fear, pain and relieve spurred something in her. With just two little steps she made it to his side, where she sank down to her knees. She didn’t know what to do. This Steve was not one she knew, and right then she barely knew herself. Her hands fluttered about unsurely, touching his hair and his shoulders, trying to find a place to start.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He’d muttered, repeating nothing but that again and again while sobs rattled through his body.

“Sorry…?” She didn’t understand. Sorry for what? What had he done that he needed to be sorry for? Nothing came to mind.

“I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault.” Her eyes were shaking as she watched the boy sob on. Her brain was so incredibly slow already, exhausted from little sleep and heightened adrenaline, so she still didn’t understand. She didn’t understand. “Everything is always my fault.”

Everything.

She felt her eyes tear up, sobs clawing their way up her throat as she realised what he was on about.

Steve was blaming himself for this. He was blaming himself for what had happened down in the Russian base as well as what had happened up in the mall. He was blaming himself for her pain as well as his own. The way she knew him, he’d probably been blaming himself for ever becoming her friend, for ever being born.

Because that was Steve Harrington.

Everything was always his fault, even when it wasn’t. He automatically deemed it so and no one, not a single person, ever thought to tell him he was wrong. They all called him ‘ass’ and ‘moron’, called him out for his time as stupid ‘King Steve’, but no one ever took the time to remind him how great he really was.

If her heart hadn’t already been broken, it would have been the moment she truly realised how lonely that boy was. And how scared he must’ve been of losing her, the last person to always be on his side.

“Steve…” She’d sobbed, winding her arms around him to cry into his hair while she held him. She’d just been holding onto him until both their tears ran dry for the time being.

And she did the same thing now.

With one simple movement, she’d wrapped her arms around his midriff and pressed her face into his shoulder. Steve didn’t hesitate to hug her back. He never did. His arms wound around her waist, holding her close. Somewhere above her ear, she could feel his breath fan against her skin.

“You need to stop blaming yourself so much, Steve.” Her voice was muffled by the fabric of his jacket, but she was sure he understood. She knew by the way his breath hitched, by the way is body started to shake. “It isn’t your fault, none of this.” She patted the back of his head comfortingly, carefully. “And I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything.” His voice was weak and croaky, poorly repressed feelings seeping out of it with every word.

“No, I didn’t. But I’m still sorry.” She sighed, patting on. “I’m sorry because she isn’t. And I’m sorry because she couldn’t see you the way you did her. I’m sorry that everyone always blames you, even you yourself…” His arms tightened around her waist and she heard him exhale a shaky breath. “I’m sorry for all of that, Steve.”

And just like that night four years ago, she’d held the boy while he shed tears no one else knew about.

Because that was who Steve Harrington actually was.

***

“There! There, do you see that?” Robin hissed, pressed close to her side. “Now that isn’t normal. And at first I was all like ‘oh maybe he’s just confused’ but it’s been week and he’s just been doing that all the time. That’s weird, right? Agh, of course it’s weird!” She blinked, ignoring Robin’s rambling as she watched Steve ring up a customer upfront. The rest of the store lay deserted, the day still too early for most people to think about renting anything.

It was Sunday, a couple of long, exhausting days after Steve’s date with the horticulture-cunt.

The week had been quite the mess so far, so she was thanking every available god that it was finally Sunday and she had the day off. And sure, lounging about Family Video with Steve and Robin was an excellent pastime. ‘Spying’ on Steve from behind a shelf, though? Ugh.

“Look, he’s not flirting, nothing! He’s just-just look!” The girl hissed, her hands clasping her shoulders. She could feel Robins nails scratch her skin, causing her to shiver slightly.

Robin had been calling the repair shop nearly every day, more than once, ranting about how Steve was behaving ‘weirdly’ and how this couldn’t be ‘normal’ and ‘please please come over, okay? I’m losing my mind here!’, so here she was. Badly hidden behind the self-proclaimed chick flick shelf – ooh, was that ‘Beaches’? – staring through a small window Robin had created by removing a couple of tapes.

It was not all too interesting.

Steve just did his job like anyone else would. The whole spiel - ‘Hi there’ ‘beep beep’ ‘your total is…’. That was how this worked, right? Because, sure, she’d never worked anywhere other than the shop, but this looked pretty standard to her. Next to her, Robin was still rambling – something about possession and brainwashing – and Steve was bagging up the tapes. The girl he’d just rung up thanked him overly sweetly – gag – and turned to leave the store. The wind chime above the door announced her exit.

Steve stayed where he was, leaning forward onto the counter, before looking in their direction.

“You idiots do know that I can see you, right? You’re not, like, invisible.” Robin stiffened and cursed under her breath and she patted her back comfortingly.

“You tried, Robs.” Was all she said as she grabbed ‘Beaches’ from the shelf. Why not use this oh-so-golden opportunity to organise some Sunday night entertainment? And she’d been waiting to see this one for forever. She even told Steve, the traitor, to let her know as soon as it was available. Of course, he ‘forgot’ to do that again.

“Yeah, maybe leave some tapes next time so it’s less obvious.” Steve nodded towards the shelf and sure enough. Tapes were missing on both sides, making it pretty obvious that someone wanted to spy on him through the three- or four-inch gap the shelf offered.

“You leave me no choice! And you!” Robin pointed at her, her black-nailed finger wafting accusingly in front of her face. “I called you so you’d side with me!” She chuckled, strolling over to where Steve was still lounging about. Steve’s eyes were on her as she hopped onto the counter next to him, offering up the tape, which he took in turn for a clean picked bag of gummy bears.

“Oh, come on, ‘Beaches’? Really? Ugh.” He shook his head as he started to check it out – under his name, obviously.

“It’s Bette Midler, Steve.” The boy just winced and she started to chow down on the gummy bears. Robin was still rambling.

“Hello?! Are you listening to me!?”

“No.” The two of them said and the girl grumbled, yet still accepting the peace offering of gummy bears. The younger girl glanced at her hand, spotting the exclusively white, orange and yellow variants of the sugary sweets.

“Why do I never get any red or green ones? Those are the best.” Steve nodded while she just winced at the other girl’s statement.

“Steve is in charge of the red and green ones, so pester him about that.”

“Wait, what? ‘In charge’?”

“Yeah. Haven’t you noticed?” She cocked her head, shaking the bag. “He eats all the red and green ones. I get the yellow, orange and white ones.”

“Why would you do that?”

“She doesn’t like red and green. I don’t like white.” Steve handed her the cassette in a small bag before turning and leaning his back against the counter. “So, we eat the ones we like and then trade.”

“But there’s always more red and green, so you’re basically being ripped off!” Robin leaned against the counter next to her as she spoke, holding her hand out for more. She got them, of course.

“Hey, she gets three colours and I only get two!” She could feel Steve’s fingers at the hem of her shirt as he spoke, the boy using the proximity to cover up a sliver of skin that had been exposed since earlier. Paying him no mind, she let him pull down her shirt properly and continued to stuff her face with gummy candy. Robin, however, was watching their interaction with raised eyebrows.

“Your relationship is disgusting, has anyone ever told you that?” Both she and Steve rolled their eyes at that. Because they had, in fact, heard that before. That and anything else people would offer about their relationship. For some reason, people just loved to make unsolicited comments about other people’s business. She couldn’t even count the times, that people had asked her if she and Steve had ever had a ‘thing’ for or done ‘stuff’ with each other – big yikes.

Then there was the usual ‘oh your guys are disgusting’, ‘get a room!’ or ‘you’re like an old married couple’. When they were younger, they used to argue back every time because it wasn’t like that and they were just friends. At some point, though, both of them had gotten tired of the same reaction – eye rolls, amused chuckling and a meaningful ‘For now!’ – so they just rolled their eyes and ignored all the comments to the best of their abilities.

Well, except the ‘stuff’ one because that was a disgusting and invasive thing to ask. Steve took that one just as wordlessly, but she couldn’t. The last guy who’d dared to offer that question had earned himself a broken nose and she would happily pummel anyone who wished to follow in his footsteps.

“Only every person in this goddamn town, Robin.”

“I think I heard a Demodog say it at one point.” Steve said, closing his eyes.

“Yeah? Seems like them. They were a rather chatty bunch, weren’t they?”

“Totally. Especially- uh…wait, what was his name?” His brows furrowed in thought. “Henderson named him after that chocolate bar.”

“Ah, you mean Dart?”

“Dart! Yes, right. Especially Dart.” The two of them grinned at that. It should be all unfortunate and uncomfortable, but honestly? One can only shed so many tears about something. At some point, joking will become easier than sobbing.

“Do I even want to know what you’re talking about?” Robin asked, snagging more gummy bears.

“Just the Demodog Dart and his little herd of friends that nearly mauled us to death.”

“Come on, Dart didn’t. He let us pass, remember?”

“Not really. I was losing a ton of blood, Steve. I don’t even really remember how we got out.”

“Oh, right. You got blood all over my jacket. ”

“Sorry not sorry.” They had bled onto each other often enough, even before the whole upside down bullshit. Although there’s a significant difference between ‘shit, I cut my finger while chopping onions’ and ‘oh my god, that Demodog just rammed it’s claws into my torso’. The scars were really different, too.

“You could’ve just said no, you know?” The girl flicked her forehead before going to do…something. Work. Slack off somewhere else. That left her and Steve behind at the counter. For a moment, they did nothing else. She was fiddling around with the bag in her hands and Steve was slowly flicking through a pamphlet or something. Leaning over, she noticed that it was a pamphlet about…

“Wait, is that for college?” Steve nodded, flicking to the next page. “I thought you gave up on college?” She grabbed the pamphlet from him, ignoring his protests as she read through as quickly as she could. That was made a lot harder by Steve trying to get the thing back. Her eyes were better than his though, so she held it barely out of his reach and read on “No way, nursing? You want to become a nurse?” He scoffed and ripped the thing from her hands.

“Jesus, ever heard of privacy? You’re so nosy, do you know that?” He snapped, stuffing the pamphlet somewhere beneath the counter, effectively out of reach. Not that she cared, she knew all she needed to.

“We don’t do privacy, Steven.” Drawing her leg onto the counter, she turned towards him properly, grinning brightly. “Nurse Steve?” The boy groaned, his shoulders slumping forwards.

“I don’t know, okay? It’s just, like, an idea. Nothing more. I just thought, you know…I’m quite good with blood and all that and I’ve seen worse things than whatever the human body can produce. So why not try to make use of that?” He shrugged. “I researched a bit and heard about this nursing program and I’m…I probably won’t get in anyway, so it’s really not that big a deal, right? It’s just- it’s…Robin will eventually get her degree and then she’ll leave and teach little shit’s their ABC’s or whatever the fuck she does and I can’t…It’s…Anything is better than being stuck here for the rest of my life, rewinding sticky copies of ‘Kinky Business’ and ‘Too good to be true’ while Keith is breathing down my neck.” He finished, his formerly gesticulating arms falling down to his sides as he breathed heavily. She allowed a moment of silence to pass, giving him a second to catch his breath as she just stared at him. But eventually, she felt the corners of her mouth curl upwards.

“You know, you’re saying all that but for some reason I just hear-“ Steve raised his finger threateningly.

“I swear to god, your ass is grass if you say…”

“-Nurse Steve!” The boy groaned and let his head fall against her shoulder as she giggled and patted the back of his head.

“I hate you; you know that?”

“Sure, I do. I love you too, Harrington.” She wiggled her shoulder to get him off. When she did, she leaned forwards to stare into his face. “Nurse Steve, man. Honestly, I see it. You’ve got a nurse face.”

“What, in that hot nurse kinda way?”

“Yikes. No.” She pretend-shivered. “But you look kind and caring.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“As I said: It’s just an idea and I likely won’t get in anyway, so…”

“No, no you will.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do, Steven! I can feel it in my bones. So let me predict your future now, young padawan.” With her thumb and index she squeezed his cheeks, effectively holding him in place – and making him look like stuff-cheeked hamster. “You will apply for this course and you will get in. And within the next couple years, you’re out of this shit hole and can spend your days saving lives as ‘Nurse Steve – Hero in scrubs’.” He opened his mouth to stop her, but she talked onwards. “And who knows? Maybe you’ll meet a pretty patient and you’ll wrap her around those pretty fingers of yours in a heartbeat while helping her stay calm during a shot or whatever.” Steve’s brows drew together, enough to nearly touch in the middle.

“Did you just write fanfiction about me?” Thanks to her still squeezing his face, the words came out all squishy and muddled. He seemed to notice that too, pulling himself from her grasp to rub his cheeks. “Dude, were you trying to bruise my cheek? Jeez, your grip is like iron.”

“Those are a handyman’s fingers, Steven.” Sad but true. She always wanted to have pretty, dainty hands like Nancy or Robin or Max. Colourful long-ish nails, pretty nailbeds, soft pink skin…but that was not something she’d ever have. Thanks to her line of work, her hands and fingers were often dry and rough, even stained by oil and grease. Her nails had to be short, otherwise they’d break – they tended to do that anyway – and although she tried nail polish sometimes, it never lasted long enough to actually bother.

And sure, she took care of them. She used hand cream like a mad woman, lathering up every chance she got, and she tried to do hand masks regularly. In the end, however, her hands were a mirror of her craft. They were formed by work. And while they could get a car up and running, change a leaking pipe and a handful of other things, they would never look pretty.

It shouldn’t bother her much, but it did, sadly. Generally, she liked how she looked. She was satisfied with what the mirror showed her and she knew she looked good. Great even! But every time she saw how pretty other girls’ hands looked, she felt like a…like a grizzly. Like a giant, weathered witch in front of dainty, little fairy princesses – however untrue that comparison may be.

Everyone had their little insecurities.

Suddenly, Steve grabbed her hands, pulling her fingers away from a patch of dry skin and her out of her own thoughts.

“Stop picking your skin, idiot. You always say it hurts after you do that.” Shifting his hold a bit, both hands now clasped in one of his, he started to root around behind the counter, producing a small tube of hand cream. Without hesitation, he squeezed a good dollop of cream onto her hands and used his thumbs to spread it around. It was almost like a massage and she felt herself relax more and more with each stroke.

In lieu of anything else to do, she looked at him while he worked away all tension she’d build over the last week.

Mouth slightly pursed and brows furrowed, he looked extremely focused right then. If she hadn’t quite literally felt his hands on hers, she would’ve wondered what he was thinking about. His hair did its usual thing, flopping into his face that was, and it gave him some sort of…roguish allure.

Here’s to hoping that he’d never find out that she thought something like that. Yikes.

But it was true nonetheless. She cocked her head as she watched him, raking her eyes over the lines of his face. They all looked the same as always, absolutely not different to the Steve she’d seen yesterday and the day before that. And yet…

Steve was handsome.

Sure, right, objectively she’d known that. She’d seen the boy as a tween and damn, that couldn’t be compared, like, at all. But she’d never really thought about it much. Steve was always about as interesting as her right arm. There and definitely appreciated – in fact, she wouldn’t want to live without it – but not something one thought about much. But right then, brows furrowed in concentration as he rubbed her hands, she really noticed how good looking he actually was.

“You’re really pretty, did you know that?” Steve raised his brows and looked up at her, clearly surprised by her statement. But he caught himself rather quickly, the typical Steve reaction already kicking in.

“Twenty-two years and you only notice that now? Damn.” She rolled her eyes, pulling her hands from his grasp.

“You must’ve been ugly for twenty-one of them, then.”

“That’s still a year, which is a lot coming from you.”

“Right, whatever gets you through the night, pretty boy.” He grinned at that.

“You know what? You can just tell me that my awesome hand rub won you over, sweetheart. There’s no shame in that.”

“Oh, riiiight.” She nodded, a smile curling her lips as she leaned back onto the counter. “Totally. You just stole my heart, Harrington.”

“Don’t I know it.” He leaned against the counter next to her. She hummed under her breath, using two fingers to gently guide his hair out of his face. His eyes fluttered shut at her touch, a habit Steve had always had. In one feather light touch, she let her knuckles ghost over the lines of his cheek, causing his honeyed eyes to open up once more.

“I bet you do that to all the girls, don’t you?” He tipped his head back, eyes focused on her face, and hummed softly.

“Hmmh. Works every time.”

“Am I…interrupting something?” A voice intervened, causing both her and Steve to turn. Robin was standing next to the shelf she and the other girl had just been hiding behind. “Because I can, like, totally take my break right now. You know, if you guys want to finish whatever that was.” She popped a cheese puff into her mouth, the bag in her hands crinkling uncomfortably loud.

“Robin…” Steve sounded all annoyed, clearly ready to ‘bicker with Buckley’, so she intervened.

“Not necessary. Join us, Steve was just telling me all about how he uses roofied hand cream to drug poor, unsuspecting girls into liking him.”

“Aaah. That must be why you were gazing up at him like he was made of light, hm? Because of the hand cream. Totally, I believe you.” Robin shrugged as she hopped closer and she felt her brows dip.

“What am I, a moth?”

“I don’t know, you tell me?” She hopped behind Steve, using her hands to turn his face towards her, to which he protested loudly.

“Come on, your fingers are all cheesy!”

“Take it like a man, dingus.” Robin just said, holding on and nodding at her. “And? Do you think sparkly boy is the hottest thing in town?” She rolled her eyes and Steve ducked out of Robins hold.

“Man, you got cheese dust all over me. Disgusting, go clean your hands.” He shoved her off towards the break room while rubbing his cheeks against his uniform. “And the question is rigged, because I totally am the hottest thing in town and we all know it.”

“Right, Dingus, whatever you want to believe. You know, that scene felt oddly familiar. Did I see it in a movie before? God, what was it called again? Maybe-“

“Buckley! Sink! Now!” At his famed babysitter tone, Robin instinctively hopped on off without another word. The two who stayed behind, sighed in unison. “I hate her sometimes.”

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t.”

Another shared sigh and Steve was back to fiddling with the tube of hand cream and she watched him for a minute, before choosing to plunge forwards with their conversation. A normal one, duh, not the one Robin had interrupted.

“Wanna watch ‘Beaches’ with me?”

“No.” He said, tossing the hand cream aside and leaning against the counter, further away from her this time. “I’ll come ‘round after work. Chinese or Pizza?” She smiled.

“Pizza for sure.”

***

Early evening had befallen Hawkins by the time Steve made it to her house. The sky outside was quickly darkening, regretfully announcing the end of her day off. She wished she had something to turn back time. Not even a lot, just a day or so. Tiny day. Go plink plink on that little, uh, time turner, and have another Sunday right after her first one. And that one she would spend right here, on the couch, in a pad so huge it could count as diapers and simply not move. Didn’t that sound glorious? Damn. Next time, Buckley could beg all she wanted. She would spend her Sunday hermited and wrapped up like a burrito.

When his knock finally came, she was already lounging on her sofa, braless and clad in only her finest pair of sweats and a giant t-shirt that came from god knows where. The void, probably. Maybe even the upside down. Didn’t know, didn’t care.

It was comfy anyway.

 “Come it, the door is open!” She called, too lazy to move to open the door for him. Honestly, she didn’t really need to and he didn’t need to knock, he had a key anyway. The door opened and she raised her head, just enough to make sure it was actually Steve that entered and not a crazy serial killer. Well, those probably wouldn’t knock but it didn’t hurt to make sure, right?

But nope, it was Steve in all his hang-night glory.

Her head plopped back down after she analysed his choice of clothes – very similar to hers, in fact – and he tsked at the sight.

“I told you not to leave your door unlocked, idiot.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

“Not whatever. Dude, you already live in a paper fucking house. At least try to make it hard for someone to murder you, okay?” Not that again. She rolled her eyes at his usual nagging as he kicked off his shoes and hug up his jacket.

“Steve, it’s not that bad, you know? I mean, it’s a house and it’s actually quite spacious since it’s just Tut and me.” Tut was her, very bad tempered, sphinx cat. Well, bad tempered was a stretch. He wasn’t that bad. Tut, actually named Tutanchmeow, just didn’t like strangers all too much. He liked her, he tolerated Steve and that was far more than enough. Right now, for example, he was hogging her one arm chair, snoring loudly and cutely.

“Spacious. Sure. I’m kinda scared I’ll bonk my head if I flinch too hard, but you’re absolutely right.” As if to demonstrate, he stretched out his arms, not leaving too much space on either side. “It’s extremely spacious in this thing.” Steve sighed, dropping a pizza carton on the couch table. “I got us the usual stuff.”

“Perfect.” She sighed, drawing her legs up slowly and carefully. “What do you want to drink?”

“Stay, I’ll get it.” Steve sauntered over into the kitchen and she heard him open up the fridge. He came back with two beers which was fine by her. He’d already opened them and just dropped them onto the table right next to the Pizza before plunking down onto the sofa into the place she’d previously freed for him. Her legs fell right back into place on his lap, which Steve accepted wordlessly. Sighing, she covered her stomach with both hands and looked at him.

“How was the rest of your shift?” Steve just grumbled. “That bad, huh.”

“Yeah.”

“Robin?”

“Obviously.”

“Do I wanna know?”

“Definitely not.” She hummed slightly, taking her time to properly look at him. He looked tired, his eyes drooping already despite him barely sitting down. She poked his side with her foot and he grumbled again.

“People are tiring.” She sighed.

“Damn straight.” He shot back. “And you know I love Robin, I really do. But god, sometimes I wish she would just…stop talking. Just for a minute. I swear, you left the store and her mouth started flapping. I think she was still talking when I went home and it’s just…does she even breathe?” Steve deflated with a sigh, his head falling back to rest against the wall. “I’m a dick for saying, I know, but I wish Robin came with an off-button.”

“You’re not a dick for saying that.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Then I am too. Because every day I wish that my boys would just keep their damn traps shut. And I love the lot of them, but god, they’re dicks sometimes.” She shrugged. “That doesn’t make me a dick, though. That makes me…Normal. I’m just a normal person who gets annoyed by other people.” Steve just sighed, saying nothing for a moment.

“Speaking of.” He said instead, obviously trying to change the subject. “How’s Eddie first week been going?” She groaned and closed her eyes.

“God, don’t make me think about that.” It had been a whole mess. A complete and utter mess, and terrifyingly large scale. “How can one guy be so clumsy? I mean, at this point I’m surprised he can walk in a straight line without falling over. Please, remind me to never ever get in his car, no matter what. I’m telling you. On Thursday, he literally tripped over his own feet, tumbled through half the shop, bonked against one of the tire stacks and unleashed this, like, chain reaction that nearly send Riley flying into the popped hood of Hagans car. In under a minute, the whole shop was a mess and he just stood there, clenching his hands like a first grader that did something stupid and knows he’ll get in trouble. And you know my boys are really good natured – well, except Billy – but even they had really reached the end of their tether by Saturday. Riley even started to dub him Eddie ‘Stumblebum’ Munson.” She was wringing her hands, trying to calm herself down. “I hired him to replace Marvin, but at this point I’ll have to hire someone else to replace Marvin and someone tokeep Eddie in check. I feel instead of lessen he just tripled my workload, because not only do I have to do my job, no I’m doing his as well as clean up after him.” Steve sighed and patted her leg comfortingly.

And then the two of them sat up properly, she started the movie and he propped open the pizza carton. It was a thing the two of them always did. Steve couldn’t really eat when he was annoyed or upset, while she tended to overeat when she was. So, every time they got together to eat, they vented first and dined right after.

Well, unless someone asked for a delay just like Steve had done after his ‘date’. Then they just went about the meal as proficiently as they could.

“Like, what is that movie even about?” Steve asked, chowing down on the pizza and she snorted.

“Obviously you would try to keep this movie from me without even knowing what it was about. That’s just so you, Steven.”

“What the fuck is up with all that ‘Steven’ lately?” The words came out all wonky, pushed past a giant bite of pizza. “You sound like my mum, jeez.”

“Well, duh. I am your mum.” Straightening up in her seat, she did a mock-hair flip, and eyed Steve. “Oh Stevie, how wonderful to have you back home tonight, baby. But then again, you’re always here, aren’t you? Hohohoho.” She didn’t even have to concentrate to copy his mum, her strangely sing-songy intonation branded into her brain after too many sleepovers at the Harrington House. “I see you came from-“ here she scrunched her nose in distaste “-work. Or, whatever it is you call…that. Oh, Steven isn’t that your friend Raven?” Steve was even mouthing that part with her, his mum seemingly not able to remember that Robin was, in fact, called Robin. But hey, they were both birds at least. “My my, it’s a pleasure to have you back. I hope you’re staying for dinner, darling, because we just love helping the less fortunate members of our quaint town, don’t we? Richard, darling! I’m getting a headache, let’s go to the Maldives!” Steve flicked her forehead the moment she finished, shaking his head.

“I hated that. And it was scarily accurate, so don’t do that again.”

“I’m your mum, I told you.” He rolled his eyes once more, getting started on his third slice of pizza while she was only just done with her first. That, ladies and gentlemen, was how Steve usually ate - for all those that have been wondering. He was a total boy when it came to food, finishing copious amounts of it in little to no time. “Oh, and the movie is about these two friends. I’m not sure either, because - thanks to someone - I haven’t seen it yet but apparently it’s like an overview over their lives and their friendship throughout.”

“Ugh, who wants to see something like that?” He gestured towards the TV. “I mean, come on. There’s these middle-aged ladies thinking about their friendship and people go crazy over it? Because that movie has been in and out so often, I’m surprised you even managed to get your hands on it.” He shook his head. “Who cares about other people’s friendships, really?”

“Sooo, if someone wanted to make a movie about you and me and our friendship – you wouldn’t watch it?” Steve spluttered, nearly choking on his beer.

“What? About you and me?” She giggled, leaning forward to wipe some beer off his cheek with the back of her hands.

“I mean, sure. We have a lot to tell, haven’t we?”

“Yeah, but…Why would I want to watch that? I was there for all of that.”

“Hmmh, that’s true.”

“And honestly, Hollywood would fuck it up and turn it into one of those fucking rom-com bullshit movies.” He scoffed, taking another sip of his beer. “You’d be played by Molly Ringwald – don’t hit me!” He caught her hand before she could. “It’s not even because you look alike or whatever, it’s because she gets all the chicks into the theatre!” She grumbled under her breath. Molly Ringwald, fuck that. “Anyway, I would totally be played by Tom Cruise. Obviously.”

“Why do you get Tom Cruise but I have to be Molly Ringwald!”

“I don’t make the rules, dude. Molly Ringwald is in every chick flick on this god damn planet.” She scoffed and stuffed her face with more Pizza. “I mean, damn, I wouldn’t be surprised to see her play an African desert princess at this point, simply because it’s her. She would obviously go up in flames because ginger plus sun equals yikes, but you know. Let SPF50 handle that, as long as the entire female teenage population of the united states runs into the cinema because Molly Ringwald!” He rolled his eyes and she scoffed.

“Do not throw all of us into the same pot, Harrington.”

“Ah, so you didn’t drag me into ‘Sixteen Candles’ like a mad woman, huh?” She scoffed.

“Yeah, but that was- it was- Michael Schoeffling, Steve!” The boy just snorted in that annoying ‘yeah right’ kind of way. “Tsk. You know what, Steve? You keep your Tom Cruise, because you know who they would cast as Billy and Ian?”

“Why would they be in that movie?”

“Well, Ian is my ex and Billy beat the shit out of you. That seems kinda important.”

“Once again: It’s been six years. Let it rest.”

“Never.” She shrugged, sipping on her beer. “Anyway. Billy would be Rob Lowe, definitely. And Ian would one hundred percent be John Stamos.”

“Rob Lowe and John Stamos? Didn’t you have, like, posters of them in your old room?”

“Yeah, so?”

“You were obsessed with them.” How could she not? Like, General Hospital was a good show but damn. John Stamos made it so much better and he wasn’t even the main event. And Rob Lowe? Man. Those eyes? The thought alone made her want to purr happily. Truth be told, she wasn’t mad that Billy and Ian were both working for her. Not that she was superficial, but a lady was allowed to enjoy someone’s appearance just a little, right? A tiny, selfish glance every now and again should be alright, yes?

“Your point?”

“Are you trying to tell me that Billy and Ian, of all people, are better looking than me?” At that, she could only shrug.

“You said it, not me.” Not that Steve wasn’t handsome – she’d just told him he was earlier today, hadn’t she? But nothing could beat John Stamos or Rob Lowe. Oooh, wait. Maybe that guy from ’21-Jumpstreet’. What was his name again? The guy that played Tom Hanson. That guy was great too.

“Wow. You are a horrible person.”

“Am not.”

“Yes, you are…oh my god.”

“What now?”

“You didn’t date Ian because he looks like John Stamos, did you?” She grinned.

“I did not. But, let’s just say…it definitely didn’t deter me.”

“Tsk. You know, maybe I should…” On screen, Bette Midler was suddenly in quite the hurry. “Woah, what’s she going on about?”

“I think it’s because of that note she just found. See?”

“Well, what does it say?”

“I don’t know, dumbass. Someone kept distracting me by talking all over the movie.”

“Huh…” He leaned back, long done with his Pizza, and eyed the television with furrowed brows. She couldn’t help but smile.

Who would have thought. ‘Beaches’ – the chick flick Steve really didn’t want to see – actually managed to snag his attention – oh wait. She would’ve thought. That was pretty much always the case, by the way. He was all pissing and moaning until the movie actually played. Within the first ten minutes, Steve would always be absolutely invested. He’d be yelling at the screen when the guys fucked up, and get annoyed at every bout of miscommunication.

Because that was who Steve actually was.

A big softie that knew how to enjoy chick flicks.

And very vocally so, too.

“No way. No way are they fucking on the opening night of her musical thing. Like, dude, who does that!? That’s such a bullshit move.” Steve threw a balled-up handkerchief at the TV. “Like, she saw that C.C. liked him. A blind guy could see that. Isn’t there something like a… girl code or whatever? Who needs friends like that! Shit.”

Realistically, couldn’t disagree with that one. It was a shitty move, truly. Who slept with the guy his best friend was into? That was just shitty. Like, technically speaking that would be like her sleeping with Nancy back when Steve was head over heels for the Wheeler princess. God, she would’ve felt horrible. No, no she absolutely agreed with Steve here.

“Yeah, such a dick move, Hillary.” Steve nodded; eyes still trained at the TV.

A better one came later somewhere in the movie. And god, this one would totally make it into her ‘Things to tease Steve with’ treasure chest – because that one? Pure gold.

“Oh my god, why do all the guys in this movie suck?!” He’d suddenly yelled, making her flinch. “Like, one fucks the one friend and then marries the other, only to divorce her couple years later - because boohoo selfish - and the other cheats on his wife! What is the moral of the story here, guys? All men suck? Is that what they’re trying to tell me here?” He finished another beer with a noisy sip before falling back into a more comfortable position. “Shit, I hate men, really, I absolutely fucking hate men.”

That one did it. She burst out laughing, a croaky, choked up laugh that started to hurt her sides really quickly. And Steve, slapping her thigh and glaring at her, really didn’t help much. But oh my god, what the hell – Steve Harrington, recently turned advocate for the ‘anti men’ fraction because someone fake-cheated on Barbara Hershey. Fuck, she needed to tell Robin about that.

The end of the movie, however, quickly beat the laughter out of both of them.

As the credits started to roll, neither of them really said anything. Both of them hanging low in their seats, shoulder to shoulder, trying to stomach the heartbreak the movie threw at them.

“…Well that ending was shit.”

“Yupp.” She nodded, wiping at her cheeks with the back of her hand.

“I mean, why did she have to die? Bullshit.” Steve pushed back his hair, clearly not agreeing with what he just saw. “Who makes a movie about friendship just to kill one of them off?”

“Right? I mean, was that necessary? God, they could just have hinted at it, but why show it?” At the thought, new tears blurred her sight. “And, I mean, the whole thing with the ‘Hi’ at the end, why make it so casual? Fuck.”

“Yeah, man. I mean, who walks into the hospital, sees their dying friend, and just says ‘Hi’!? What the fuck.” Silence settled once again, both of them staring at the names flying by on the screen.

Honestly, maybe they were just the wrong people for that movie.

Maybe someone else could have seen beauty or love in it. And sure, there certainly was love between those two, maybe even in its purest of forms. C.C. had driven her car through the night, leaving everything behind because of a simple note and spent the entire time reminiscing about her best friend. She’d raced to another town, because her friend was dying and she wanted to be there for her. So yes, there was love, there was beauty in everything.

But it didn’t register with her.

Not with her, not with Steve.

The problem with her and Steve was likely the fact that they’d both feared for each other’s lives before - more than once. It wasn’t a feeling she ever wanted to have to face again, and it wasn’t something she liked to talk or even think about. Because to her it was neither love nor beauty – it was just pain. She could imagine how Steve had felt when that Demodog jumped her in ‘84. That fucking beast had tackled her down, burrowing it’s claws into her sides, and tried to bite her head off or whatever those shit’s do. A well-placed hit with Steve’s bat had saved her, but damn. It’d been dangerously close. And then, back in ’86, when Steve was dragged into lovers’ lake...god. She felt his hand slip out of hers, she saw the panic in his eyes as he was dragged out of sight and for a moment her mind when silent, nothing but one thought prevailing.

Steve was dying.

Needless to say, she’d short circuited and dove into the water – which she absolutely hated – to save him. A tiny part of her wished she wouldn’t have, because hearing his screams and seeing those monsters maul him was…yeah, let’s just say it was the main setting of many of her nightmares. He knew, of course, because she’d told him. Just as he told her about his dreams. How he often dreamed about running towards the trailer she, Dustin and Eddie were supposed to be hiding in only to find the scene changed. Instead of her, hurt and screaming for help while dragging a bleeding, half conscious Eddie Munson towards the trailer he came back to silence. He came to find her lying right next to Eddie, bloody and disfigured. Or maybe he came back to screams all the same, but instead of hers it was Dustin or Eddie screaming while dragging her unmoving body.

“Hey.” Steve used his elbow to snap her out of her mind. As always, he just waited for her eyes to focus on him and for her mind to come back to the here and now. He didn’t ask questions, because he knew what the answers would be.

Once she was fully present again, he nodded towards her midriff. “You keep massaging your stomach. You okay?” Confused, she looked down at her hands. And sure enough, there she was, massaging away.

“Ah, no. I mean, yeah, I’m fine. Just one of those hissy tummy days.” Steve looked less than amused.

“Period or stomach bug?” Stifling a sigh, she let herself fall sideways on the sofa.

“Oh, the woes of womanhood.” Steve winced.

“Period, alright.” Sighing he patted her thigh. “Poor girl. How about, like, a heating pad or something? That helps, right?” He didn’t even wait for her to nod, he just got up and wandered on. “Where do you keep those?”

“I’m out, but I’ve got a hot water bottle in the wardrobe.”

“Shouldn’t you, you know, stock up on that sorta stuff?” Steve wandered into her bedroom like he owned the place, rooting through her drawers without an inkling of hesitation.

“I usually do, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet. This whole week’s been a mess and a half.” The boy just hummed his answer, wandering back into the kitchen to heat up some water.

“Do you need pain meds or something?” She watched him bustle around the kitchen from where she lay, frowning. “Hello?”

“What?”

“Do you need pain meds? Tylenol? Wait, do you take Tylenol for that?” She chuckled softly.

“I usually take Midol, but Tylenol works. But I don’t need any right now, it’s not that bad.” He did that cute thing he sometimes did, where he silently repeated things to himself in order to commit them to memory. She could clearly read his lips, read the word ‘Midol’ and just had to grin.

The kettle was done boiling and Steve went back into the kitchen for a few moments. It didn’t take him long to fill the hot water bottle, let some steam out, squeeze it and carry it over to her. Carefully, he dropped it onto her achy stomach, sending her an analytic glance.

“I’m fine, Steve. I do this every month, remember?” He winced again.

“Yeah, all the more reason someone should spoil you a bit.” He wandered over to the TV, rooting through her meagre collection of tapes. Picking one up, he removed ‘Beaches’ from the player with a disgusted face and changed it for something else. Then he got up, dropped himself back onto the sofa and nodded at the remote. “On with it, sweet girl. Molly Ringwald is waiting for us.”

***

‘The Breakfast Club’ kept running, both of them not really paying attention. Sometimes they’d talk but mostly, they just both got lost in their own thoughts. It was nice, though. Sitting quietly with Steve, not talking and not really doing anything was strangely comforting. The TV filled the quiet with useless chatter and provided them with light in her now entirely dark living room. Tut had at some point left the chair behind to curl himself up on Steve’s lap, where he was now purring away while the boy tiredly ran his fingers over the cat’s skin.

But not only that.

No, his other hand kept rubbing circles into her calf and she felt like purring herself. The gentle stroking was so rhythmical and comforting that she could feel herself drift in and out of sleep, barely able to focus on any coherent thought.

Until Steve started talking, that is.

“Hey, are you awake?” He suddenly asked, quietly and yet way too loudly. A non-committal hum was all she could offer. “Can I ask you something?” Steve’s voice sounded thick with exhaustion, indicating he was likely just as tired as she felt.

“…Shoot.” She mumbled back, the warm, sleepy atmosphere weighing on her heavily. Seriously, she’d probably stopped him from saying anything, had she had half a mind to. Sleepy Steve was a dangerous version of him. He was often too honest and too curious for his own good.

“So, uhm…we were talking about Ian earlier and it got me thinking.”

“…Ian?”

“Yeah.” Steve looked at her, his head tipped back against the couch. “You never really told me why you guys broke up. I mean, one day you guys were all in love and the next you’re crying in front of my door talking about how you needed a place to stay until Ian was gone.”

“Hmmh…” She sighed at the memory. She’d cried so much that night. Poor Steve was likely absolutely overwhelmed, but he’d taken it like a champ. He didn’t ask any questions, he didn’t cuss Ian out, he didn’t do anything but pat her back and let her cry. “Ian…” she started, her voice barely more than a whisper “…you know, he’s a good guy.” He really was. Ian looked like a douchebag with that pretty face of his and those broad shoulders, but he was actually one of the kindest souls she knew. He was caring, warm and soft. Loving. “And because of that, I had to tell him to leave.” Steve frowned.

“Okay, you lost me already. I’m tired, please go easy on me.” She grumbled, getting up only to plop down the other way around, her head against his shoulder. He put his arm around her, accepting her tired form into a loose embrace, while using the other to secure the hot water bottle back against her torso.

“I have nightmares. As you know.” He’d been there for many of them. “I mean, they’re not as bad now but...” Steve nodded, saving her the need of more explanation. “The worst, most frequent ones started back in ’85. And…well, Ian could deal with those. He kinda understood why they were happening, with Starcourt and my dad and brother and everything…or he thought he understood, at least.” She hugged the lukewarm water bottle closer against herself. “They got better the more time passed… which he noticed. And that would’ve been fine, I guess, had it not been for all that ’86 crap.” She focused on the TV in front where Molly Ringwald and Judd Nelson were bickering on. Blegh. “When they got worse again, he started to ask questions.” So many damn questions. “I didn’t want to lie to him… but I could obviously not tell him the truth.” If she closed her eyes, she could clearly remember the hurt on his face, the way his blue eyes turned hard whenever she shot him down. Ian…was an extremely kind man. But he was also someone who hated being shut out. She sighed. “A relationship filled with secrets and lies can’t work. I saw how he stopped trusting me every time I told him that it would be fine. That he didn’t need to know.” She bit her lips at the memory. “And every time he would ask more and more questions. He’d ask about my scars, about my dreams, my fear of dogs and tight spaces and why I wouldn’t just talk to him…And every time I could just look at him and say ‘It’s fine, Ian. It’s okay now’.” Tiredly, she wiped some stray tears from her cheeks. It was so dumb to keep crying about that – it had been a year now and both she and Ian had moved on. That didn’t make it any easier, though. “It hurt him; I know it did. And hurting him hurt me, so I just…”

“Let him go.” She nodded, closing her eyes against the new tears threatening to form. Steve sighed, stroking her arm with gentle fingers. “I know, what’s done is done. But couldn’t you just have… told him the truth?”

“Would you? If it was…I don’t know, anyone really.” Steve sighed again, placing his chin on her hair.

“…Probably not, no.”

“See?” She sighed. “He’s better off without all this. Without me.”

“Don’t say that. That’s not true. Nobody is better off without you, you’re great.” She snorted.

“Yeah…thanks, Steve.”

“You know I really mean that.”

“I do…” But believing it was another thing. Honestly, could she even rant about Steve never listening to her when she told him to stop blaming himself? She wasn’t any better. She hid away from everyone and everything, shut out anyone that wasn’t already involved simply because she feared she would make their lives worse by just existing next to them.

“Is that the reason you stopped dating too? The whole ‘questions you can’t answer’ thing?” She sighed against his neck, shrugging slightly.

“I don’t know…Maybe. Or maybe it was just…”

“Hm?” He looked down at her and she shrugged again.

“I really… really loved Ian. A lot.” If it weren’t so cheesy, she’d go as far as call him her first love. “I did try to move on. I went on dates and I tried really hard to get to know people. And sure, sometimes it was about getting laid, but others were genuine attempts at meeting someone I want to be with. But it just…it wasn’t the same.” He nodded, because that he knew. She’d told him every time, ranting about how the people she’d met were weird or rude. How they commented on her ‘workers hands’ or her body, how they tried to kiss her when she clearly said no. And even if she said yes, they somehow found a way to make her uncomfortable by getting all grabby and forward. Those were the worst kind of dates, the kind that made her feel dirty and used. The ones, where all she wanted to do was take a long, hot shower and forget about it.

Of course, not every date was like that.

There were many decent people around Hawkins if one cared to look for them. But even if it wasn’t that…they just never seemed right. Some dates were objectively nice, especially those that her friends had helped her set up. Steve and the others knew her, they knew who she might click with. Those were the dates where people would hold doors, ask questions and be friendly and polite. They wore nice clothes and the conversations flowed easily and continuously. And yet, even after those dates, the best part was the drive home.

“It just never…” she took a deep breath “…never felt right with anyone else.”

“…Yeah, I get it.” Steve said, shifting his arm to hold her a tiny bit closer. “I keep looking for something special, but it’s…it’s just never there. Maybe I should just, you know, wait and see. Give up the active hunt. Relax more…” Steve ran his fingers over her hair absentmindedly. “I don’t even know what exactly I want, what exactly I’m expecting to find. I just always know that this, whatever this may be, isn’t it.” They sighed in unison at that. “We’re a mess.”

“Fuck yeah we are.”

The two of them chuckled tiredly, huddled together on her small couch in the tiny single wide she called home, while ‘Breakfast Club’ slowly but surely reached its conclusion. Tut was happily snoring away on Steve’s lap, the sound mixing with the chatter of the TV, blending into a calming sea of noise. With every chuckle she felt Steve’s body vibrate softly against hers, a warm pressure, soft but firm at the same time. She could feel his breath against her hairline, he felt her against his neck – soft puffs of warm air that left way to soon.

The whole situation should have been uncomfortable or emotional. It would have been with anyone else. It would’ve been too much skinship, a blatant invasion of personal space. Every word would have been a dance along the lines of too honest and not honest enough, trying to toe around the dreaded overshare but keeping the whole talk genuine and open. Lies would have been told, truths would’ve been omitted in favour of not seeming too weak or too pathetic.

This conversation should’ve been so difficult, admitting their feelings and hopes should’ve been… and yet it wasn’t.

Instead, it was warm and soft, honest and quiet. A mere whisper in the dark. An ear that listened to the soft words of another, not questioning what was shared. It was the two of them, sharing everything while leaving each other room to breathe, to just be. Accepting the things that were said without judgement, without forcing the other person to act like something they weren’t.

It was comfort and ease, the routine of a long, close friendship. A friendship that had been through highs and lows, that had seen the worst parts of each person. A friendship, that persevered when one abandoned the other, when the wrong words were yelled at the wrong time, when promises were broken and forgotten. Time had tested it with girlfriends, mistakes and the supernatural.

Through that, it became a friendship that survived all the hurt thrown at it. It survived, because the two of them knew that, in the end, they would always choose each other again.

It was a friendship, that was like breathing.

Easy and thoughtless.

Because that was what the two of them truly were.

[vodkacheesefries]

I officially have three saves going and I realized my Tavs accidentally fit the "McDonald's coffee" meme a little too perfectly

Info dump under the cut! Spoilers ahoy, read at ur own risk

Io the Cleric (she/they)

Very practical sort, camp mom even though their girlfriend Shadowheart is the dedicated healer. Carries snacks for everyone.

She gets very upset at first when people default to her choices and sorta view her as the leader and then get mad when she makes a choice they don't like. Doesn't do great with the pressure.

Secretly also only recently learned how to swim but gotta be brave for the girlfriend

Also romancing Halsin because I couldn't in Gritty's playthrough (because they romanced Wyll) but I'm also a sucker for the tall/small trope

But goddamn do both Shadowheart and Halsin make me/Io blush sometimes

Technically broke her oath for her paladin mutliclass because she wouldn't kill the vampire spawn and released them but we had 1000 gold handy so everything's fine, totally didn't send them into their own mini faith crisis

Very much has a Ninth Doctor "Just this once, everybody lives!" moment when she somehow managed to successfully keep all of the Harper's alive at Moonrise. However they do feel deeply guilty for not being able to talk Ketheric down.

Has two moms who love her very much and will be thrilled when she brings home a boyfriend AND a girlfriend

"Gritty" the Druid (they/them)

What's their real name? Who knows! Gritty doesn't care, and likely, doesn't remember.

Being a druid they are frequently actually gritty but if they were able to they'd stay in a hot bath for hours

Favorite wild shape is the spider. Actually quite fond of spiders overall. They think they're misunderstood, sorta like tieflings.

Hooked up with Lae'zel at the tiefling party, but broke it off because Gritty has a chill kinda stoner vibe and Lae'zel's intensity was just a biiit too much for them, though they grow to be best friends. Gritty is super depressed when she leaves to go back to take care of Vlaakith, even tho they are completely supportive.

But boy did they fall head over heels unexpectedly for Wyll

Secretly really relieved he didn't want to take over as duke. They weren't keen on staying in the city.

Like your typical newlywed couple, their honeymoon is going to the Hells to kill a demon 💕

Knox the Rogue (they/he)

I literally just started the Dark Urge origin so I know as much as they do about their past so there's not a whole lot for me to work with outside of how I'm building their personality

Trying their damnedest to resist the urge and squash it down

Sorta sardonic, but it's mostly just to cover up how fuckin scared they are

They're jealous of folks like Karlach who can let their guard down enough to feel jovial, even despite the stress they're all under

Right now feels safest with Astarion, and that will hopefully continue because I neeeeed to do his romance route

Feels really bad about Alfira. They want to want to help people, not to want to hurt them.

[gregoftom]

Imo I think pre season 3 shiv truly had no clue nor care about tg spending so much time together. But in s4 I think she was just in denial?

Funny thing is after season 1 episode 2, when greg chose to follow shiv's instruction to not get the paper instead of roman, I thought they'd work together more. But it never happened. And then seeing tom shiv and greg talking together in caroline's wedding, I thought the 3 of them would have an interesting dynamic. Greg didn't have an outward hostile behavior towards her then. He was just neutral, even took her advice about climbing the dating ladder to heart. But the deal with the devil happened, tomgreg got closer, and greg seemingly actually wants to take tom for himself. And so he's more... proactive about it? Even if it's backwards with including nameless girls to the equation

Now I kinda wonder if greg thought he HAD to climb the dating ladder specifically to get tom because that's what he thought shiv did/what he thought tom did to get shiv. So he sped things up by getting a date and then dumping them immediately over and over since that's not actually the goal here lol

yeah no agreed she didn't really care s1-3 or notice for the reasons i said previous and wrt helping shiv out with the papers i can only guess that didn't progress further because that's the way it is like, the family just recoil from greg and that's the tragedy. the entire roy family don't like outsiders and tom and greg fall into that bracket which is why they drew closer and closer to one another. that's one of the reasons they stuck together and were magnetised to one another throughout the entire show, and why they became best friends once tom and shiv were in their separation period. i think they felt like they were allowed to because of this and because they used the dbros as proxy/a cover up for how they actually felt for one another.

the thing about greg is that as i said he wants people to like him, especially his family. he also takes help wherever he can get it, he's not about to turn his nose up at something which seems to be sound advice and falls in line with what he believes will advance him/make him look good/earn the respect of his family. he's is neutral towards her at that point i agree and then s4 comes around and he seems to really have developed a disliking for her which makes sense because before that, in the 3-4 gap, he's become close to tom as a best friend, his only best friend. i doubt he's ever even had a real friend before. so he's defensive of him. sssso what you're saying actually makes a lot of sense!

i mean i think greg has little to no relationship/sexual experience, greg even being a virgin in terms of never having any kind of sexual experience is actually very plausible at least at this point, so it makes sense what you say, that he would use that as a way to do that too. i thought it would be simply advice that he would take to be more respected, but when you put it like that. there's definitely enough evidence to suggest what you're saying is not out of pocket! ty for suggesting it omg bc i'd never thought of it before. if you put it together with everything else it certainly is a possibility like, how'd you get shiv? prove it! and all the promo pics and posters that show greg reaching for tom/making his way towards tom and shiv in a way to suggest he's going to be a big wrench in the works wrt their relationship.

[sturmhondsdemjin]

Four part two

Even before Alex’s parents split, they both had a habit of calling him by the other’s last name when he exhibited particular traits. They still do. When he runs his mouth off to the press, his mom calls him into her office and says, “Get your shit together, Diaz.” When his hard-headedness gets him stuck, his dad texts him, “Let it go, Claremont.”

“It ever make you laugh to think how much this pisses assholes off?” he says, gesturing to encompass the whole scene: two Mexican men putting their feet up on the railing where heads of state eat croissants.

“Constantly.”

Still, his dad’s been in the Residence for three days without incident, and one day Alex catches him in the kitchens with two of the cooks, laughing and dumping peppers into a pot. It’s just, you know, sometimes he thinks it might be nice if it could be like this more often.

This year’s dinner is small, since his dad’s parents are on vacation, so the table is set for six in glittering white and gold. The conversation is pleasant enough that Alex almost forgets it’s not always like this.

It’s not that he doesn’t lose his temper often, it’s just … he doesn’t usually lose it with his family. Mostly because he doesn’t usually deal with his family.

Telling Henry about the divorce—those weird, tumultuous years, the day he came home from a Boy Scout camp-out to discover his dad’s things moved out, the nights of Helados ice cream—doesn’t feel as uncomfortable as it probably should. He’s never bothered to filter himself with Henry, at first because he honestly didn’t care what Henry thought, and now because it’s how they are. Maybe it should be different, bitching about his course load versus spilling his guts about this. It isn’t.

Henry says, “It sounds like you did your best.”

Alex forgets what he was going to say next.

He just... Well, he gets told he’s great a lot. He doesn’t often get told he’s good enough.

“You know, you don't have to do everything all the time.”

“Oh,” Alex says. He feels inexplicable, traitorous warmth flash up the back of his neck. “Oh, um, no. Actually, this is gonna sound weird, but I was talking to Henry?”

June’s eyebrows shoot up, and Alex instinctively scans the room for cover. “Really.”

“Listen, I know, but we kind of weirdly have stuff in common and, I guess, similar weird emotional baggage and neuroses, and for some reason I felt like he would get it.”

“Oh my God, Alex,” she says, lunging at him to yank him into a rough hug, “you made a friend!” “I have friends! Get off me!”

“You made a friend!” She is literally giving him a noogie. “I’m so proud of you!”

“I’m gonna murder you, stop it,” he says, alligator-rolling out of her clutches. He lands on the floor. “He’s not my friend. He’s someone I like to antagonize all the time, and one time I talked to him about something real.”

“That’s a friend, Alex.”

Alex’s mouth starts and stops several silent sentences before he points to the door. “You can leave, June! Go to bed!”

[jaybird-fanfics]

Villain Roommate |Chapter Thirty Three|

It's been hard, trying to get use to your new life. While everyone you came across was very friendly, and your job was much better than the one you had, you still found it hard to get out of bed in the morning. However, there was one silver lining to it all, you had managed to make a friend. Her name was Maria, she was around your age and even worked in your new favorite coffee shop, so you saw her almost every morning. She was really nice, and even helped you get adjusted to living in a new country. 

She was concerned one day when you didn't show up to get your usual order for almost a week straight, so she went to your house to check on you. 

"I hope she's ok." Maria says under her breath as she knocks on your door. She looks up at the rather expensive looking house. She assumed you must have came from money somehow. If only she knew. She knocked again when you didn't answer the first time. Eventually you opened the door, you looked a mess, it was clear you had been crying. "Oh, Y/n..." Maria sighed. "Come on, let's talk." You only nod your head before allowing her inside. 

The two of you sat on the couch, Maria spoke first. "Is about him again?" You had told Maria about Dabi, well, not everything. You made up his name, unsure if Touya was a name he'd ever want to use again, and did not say a word about his "profession". You had just told her he was an old roommate, who had became a good friend of yours. "It is." You mutter. Maria put her hand on yours. "I'm sorry Y/n. I wish there was something I could do to make it better." 

Not unless she could somehow take you back to Dabi, or bring him to you. Texting each other wasn't ever enough for either of you. You missed each other's presence. You missed his warmth, while he missed your gentleness. You both felt so empty without them. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you to were closer than you let on." You gave Maria a confused stare. "What do you mean?" You ask. "Oh come on, you and him seemed like you really cared about each other a lot. I'd say, even loved each other." Your face turned red. She meant platonic love, right? Like, how best friends love each other, right?

"We weren't like that." You try and clarify. Maria wasn't buying it. "Didn't you say he confessed to you?" 

"Yes but, I don't feel the same." Maria raised an eyebrow. "Then why are you blushing?" You turn your head away. "Because this is embarrassing!"

"Girl, be real. You can't stop thinking about him, every time we talk you bring him up somehow, you text him every single day, hell, you're even driving yourself into a terrible state of depression because he's not here! If that's not love, I don't know what is." 

She had to be wrong. You didn't love Dabi. Sure, you cared deeply for him, you wanted him to be happy and safe. You wanted nothing more for him to find peace for himself somehow. Like a friend would. Nothing more. "I just miss him, that's all." You tell Maria. "Yes, of course you miss him. But you miss him way more than a friend should." She chuckles. "Now, I came here to check on you. And clearly you're way down in the dumps, is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" 

"I'm not sure." You say with a shrug. "Well, how about we do whatever you want today? We go go wherever you want, eat wherever and whatever you want, anything you want, we'll do." Maria stand you up from the couch. "But before that, lets get you out of those clothes. Oh! That reminds me, we haven't had a shopping day in forever! How about we go to your favorite shop and pick you out some new clothes?" 

You couldn't help but smile. Maria always was a good friend, wanting to help you feel better whenever you were like this. The least you could do is agree and let her do her thing. "Alright." You nod. "I'll go change and then we can head out." 

"Alright! That's my girl!" 

You and Maria ended up having a very nice day. You first went to your favorite restaurant, where Maria was kind enough to pay for the meal. Next you went to your favorite sweets shop and got your favorite desert. Then you guys head to the mall where you were currently picking out some new clothes. 

"How about this?" You ask as you come out of the changing room. You were wearing a light green jumpsuit with white flower print. "You look amazing!" Maria hyped you up. "Maria, you said that about the last three outfits I picked out, there has to be something you don't like." 

"Does it matter what I do and don't like? You're the one wearing the clothes, your opinion matters more than mine." Maria tells you. "Still, I would like some constructive criticism." You chuckle before walking back into the changing room. You eventually picked out the few clothes you liked as well as a new pair of shoes. 

For the whole day, you managed not to think of Dabi even once. And, you couldn't help but like the freeing feeling. The feeling of not being torn up about someone who was no longer apart of your life. Maria walked you home and you two spend most of the night together just talking, having a drink or two, and watching some shitty movies, which you both took delight in making fun of. But, Maria had a shift tomorrow, so she couldn't stay much longer. 

So, you said goodnight to Maria before deciding to crash for the night. It didn't take long for sleep to find you. 

You were awoken by the sound of knocking at your door. With a groan you sat up and checked your alarm. It was way too early for someone to be at your door right now. But the knocking would not stop. You sighed before getting up and walking downstairs and into your living room. You reached the door and opened it. 

"Yes, who is...it..." Your jaw nearly dropped at the sight before you. It was Dabi. 

"Hey, sweetheart." He smirked. Tears flood in your eyes, you couldn't get a single word out you were so shocked. So instead, you hugged him, you hugged him and you didn't let go. You could feel the warmth radiating off his body as he hugged you back. "I missed you too." He says softly. The two of you pulled apart. You reached your hand up to caress his cheek, oh how you missed his warmth, scars and all. 

"I've missed you so much, sweetheart." Dabi put his hand on yours. "I missed you too." You sniffle. Dabi pulled you in closer by your waist. "I never thought I'd see you again." You nod. "Me too." Dabi stared at you for a moment before leaning in close, closer, and closer until...

His lips met yours. You gasp, eyes shooting wide open. But slowly, you melted into the kiss, and returned the action. Dabi licked your lower lip, asking for permission to enter. You gladly accepted, opening your mouth slightly for his tongue to meet your own. You moaned breathlessly as you felt flick and slide against yours in unison. 

The two of you pulled apart. Dabi opened his mouth to speak, but no sound left him. "What was that?" You ask. Dabi spoke again, but still, no words. "Dabi? Why are you saying anything?" Suddenly his warmth began to fade, as well as his body. "Dabi!?" You reach for him, but your hands went right through him. "Dabi!" You cry. 

Eventually Dabi completely faded, leaving you all alone. "Dabi! Dabi please come back! Dabi!" 

You jolted awake with a sharp gasp. You looked all around you, you were in your bedroom. It wasn't even morning. And Dabi was not here. It was all just a dream. A weakened sob left you. How cruel. How cruel it was to dream of someone you'd never see again. You wipe away your tears in frustration. 

"Why...Why did I dream of him like that?" You sniffle. Why had you? Why did you dream about, not only Dabi coming back, but of kissing him as well. Though you may not have started it, you certainly didn't stop it. Your heart fluttered at the thought of kiss. How gentle Dabi was, despite his scarred lip, how soft the kiss was. 

You ran your hand through your hair with an exhale. There was just no way...was Maria right? Did you actually have feelings for Dabi? What kind of a friend dreams about kissing their friends? This couldn't be, you just couldn't have feelings for him. 

Right?

Previous | Next

[justhere4kpop]

~Beautiful Stranger~

CHAPTER 3: A Gala, and a Mission

Pairing: Yunho x Reader. (The guys are involved at some point too but not romantically.) NonIdol! AU

Description: A lonely perpetually single grad student working at a museum is approached by a handsome man, he looks expensive. Maybe this is your chance to get swept off your feet. Maybe he wants something else.

Warnings: I don't censor myself so I don't censor the characters, so Language warning. SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER (probably not good smut, it's my first time writing it and I got nervous). Self-Doubt is hinted at. Let me know if I'm missing anything

taglist: @legohwa, @hwaightme, @starillusion13

w/c: 4929

a/n: I got inspired to write at midnight so this is what happened. This is my first time writing anything NSFW it's not a super long part but it's there. Thank you guys for the support! Hope you're having a good time reading. I'm having a lot of fun with it. Thank you to Sky and Bai who constantly listen to me babble about dumb things and get ideas for this series, couldn't do it without you guys, your friendship is something I'm most grateful for. (also Sky told me to add the smut...hehe) okay, I'll stop rambling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We’ve gotta find a way to get you into that Gala, it’ll be the perfect opportunity to plant the device we need to take out the security systems.” The 8 men met around the table.

“I think the bigger question is who do we send into the gala?” Seonghwa started.

“Actually I think the question is how many?” Hongjjong looked up. “We need at least San and Yunho there, we could probably use Mingi and Wooyoung as well.”

“But if y/n is there it might get suspicious if myself and Yunho show up.”

“Who?” Hongjoong looked at the tall man remaining silent. “I thought we agreed no relationships.”

“Oh come on hyung this is great she works at the museum and…oh my god” Wooyoung stood up.

“What?” Yunho and Hongjoong looked at him.

“Y/n! She can get Yunho is as her date, she’s always complaining about everyone bringing their partners to these things, and the employees get a plus one!”

“Wooyoung if she realizes what we do she’ll call the police in an instant.” Yunho hissed. “Besides we’re not dating, and we won’t be.”

“Oh so she works there?” Hongjoong looked at Yunho…glaring the man down.

“I-It’s just for show. She’ll never suspect me if we’re talking. I don’t even….I don’t even have feelings for her.”

“That’s not true at all. He's totally hung up on her, he asks me about her all the time. She’s really handy and I’m almost done with the painting and it’s not like anyone can tell the difference and then we lay low for a while until the next one comes in.” Wooyoung looked at him.

“It’s just for show Wooyoung! She has to believe it’s real so you do too!” he stood up from his spot on the table.

“Say you don’t mean it.” Wooyoung looked at the table. “Tell me you aren’t hurting my best friend just stringing her along.”

“So what, you don’t have to face her never talking to you again as you set her up on another failed blind date. Sorry Wooyoung looks like you’re the asshole again”

“Okay you two that’s enough” Seonghwa stood up

“And what about her feelings! She called me and told me about how special that first date was and you’re just going to let her be heartbroken? Never trust anyone again?”

“Why do you care so much Wooyoung?”

“Because she deserves someone who could give her the world!!” he threw his sketchbook at the man and San caught his arm. “I thought you’d do that for someone but apparently you just want to die a lonely old man!”

“Okay adjourned for today.” Hongjoong dismissed the group before it could get anymore heated, they didn’t need a brawl like last time. 

~~~~~~~~~

“Hello?” I answered my phone. “Woo it’s 3am.”

“Break up with your boyfriend.”

“Huh?” I groaned. “Wooyoung what are you on about right now?”

“He doesn’t deserve you and I don’t want you getting hurt. Dump him like the sack of shit he’s being.”

“Okay Woo. I’ll get right on that.” I moved my phone away. “I’m not going to be in between your fight so whatever it is, figure it out.”

“Please y/n……I couldn’t stand it if you got hurt.”

“I appreciate the concern Woo…we aren’t dating ok? He’s just some guy I'm seeing.”

“You like him though right? Like a lot?”

“Yeah. I thought that was obvious.” I blushed a little.

“And you’d say yes if he asked you to be his girlfriend?”

“I’m not…opposed to the idea.”

“I just want someone that’s right for you.”

“And weren’t you the one who set us up because you think he IS the right one? Woo I really don’t want to talk about this right now, it’s late I’m tired and you’re obviously very upset right now. Later ok? You don’t have to be worried.”

“You mean a lot to me y/n.”

“So you’d tell me if he actually did something to warrant a break up right?”

“Yes.” he sighed.

“I’m…I’m going to invite him to the Gala so I don’t have to work it this year.”

“y/n…I don’t know it…nevermind. You’ll be happier if you go.”

“You can come too Woo…if you want…I can probably swipe a few invites from work.”

“You? Steal from work?”

“Oh I’ve nabbed a few of those cheesy keyrings and cheap stuff before it’s fine.” I smiled. “Then you can keep an eye on us or whatever, ok?”

“Okay……..y/n?”

“Yes Wooyoung….I love you too.” I smiled into the phone.

“Yeah…I love you.” He hung up. Why did she have to be so happy with him.

“Last day for RSVP ladies.” Marcus said making his rounds. “Y/n I assume we can count on you working?”

“Actually I’m bringing someone thank you very much. I’ve been seeing him for a while now so I’ll have you know we’re coming together.”

“You?....Really.”

“Yes really.” I sighed. “Just because I don’t act like it I have been seeing someone.”

“Oh yeah he has a nice car too.” Lizz nodded. “Definately Mr. Moneybags.”

“Well….I look forward to meeting him.” he said incredulously.

“Yeah I’m sure.” I looked away and back to the computer as Marcus left.

“Is he actually coming?” Liz asked.

“I haven’t asked him yet.” I sighed and hit my head on the desk. “ow.”

Did I wait until practically the last second to ask Yunho to come with me…yes. Did he fortunately say yes. Thank God he did! Oh man it’s a good thing he’s rich or else I don’t think he’d have a suit ready in time.

“Do you have a dress?” he asked over the phone.

“No but I can get one it’s no big-”

“I’ll have someone send one over, you have to look good don’t you.” he chuckled into the receiver. That low chuckle sent a shiver down my spine. Just what has this man done to me already. “Let me know when you get it. This weekend right?”

“Yeah it’s this weekend.”

“Luckily I’m very free this weekend. I’ll see you then beautiful.” he hung up.

“Everything was working out” they both thought, for various reasons.

When the dress came a few days later I swore there was a mistake. I stood there with the man for a good 20 minutes telling him he had the wrong person, house, whatever. I couldn’t believe my eyes it…it’s too much.

“What the hell were you thinking?” I yelled into my phone. “This is way too much.”

“Think of it as a gift. You deserve a nice dress don’t you.”

“Yunho this is too much, way too fancy.”

“Nothing is too much for you.” Did he mean that? He felt no guilt when it came to spending money on her, in fact sometimes he wanted to ask Wooyoung if he thought she’d like what he was looking at…but those feelings weren’t real…they couldn’t be, this is just for a job.

“Yunho there is very much a thing as too much. Especially for me.”

“I’ll pick you up in 2 hours, can’t wait to see it on you.” he smiled.

2 Hours…oh god I’m never going to be ready in time “EMMA!” I called out. “Code Six!...See you babe” I hung up the word slipping out.

“Coming!!” she called from downstairs. “How much time?”

“2 Hours.” I looked at her.

“Lucky me, you just got out of the shower. Okay strip back down, you’re going to knock his pants off.” she smiled.

“It’s knock your socks off.”

“Honey when I’m done, you’ll be lucky you’re both wearing clothing.” she smiled and got to work. “Oh my this is a nice dress. Yeah…def a code six. Okay sit still.”

2 Hours flies by when you really don’t want it to. I felt like I just picked up the phone to call him and now here I am in the most gorgeous black dress I’ve ever worn, it had sleeves so I wouldn’t be too cold, a deep plunge in the front that was just enough it wasn’t a scandal, and a leg split up to my thigh. I wore the best pair of black heels I owned and Emma did a great, beautiful, fantastic job on my hair and makeup. Now all that’s left is-

“Y/n! Your boy toy is here.” Becka called out.

“Coming Becks!” I put in my earrings and left to hear the already long start of the interrogation he was receiving from all 4 of my new parents. “Okay you guys that’s enough, you’ll see him later at the event now stop pestering the poor man.”

“Oh it was really n….” he stopped once he saw me.

“Oh No.” he thought. “My god she’s beautiful. She was made for that dress.” he cleared his throat

“Careful bud, you keep staring like that people will think you fell in love.” I chuckled and nudged him.

“Okay! Get together picture time!” Emma called.

“What?! No Ems, seriously this isn’t prom or homecoming or whatever. We don’t need-” She took about Seven shots right there. “Emmaaa.”

“Smile! Okay now get close. Okay act like you like each other.”

“I think you lied when you said 2 hours wasn’t enough time.” he whispered in my ear and I chuckled only for a flash to go off in my face.

“Oh! That’s the one! That’s a keeper! Oh it’s going in frames and on the fridge!” Emma called out. “y/n’s first gala!”

“Okay okay, I’ll see you guys there before you start badgering the poor guy again now that pictures are over. Go on before they barricade us in.” I laughed and pushed him slightly leaving the flat.

“He’s in love.” Liz looked at Becka. “I know that look fairly well…she’s gone and bewitched the poor man.”

“I think poor is the wrong word here Liz.” she laughed. “He’s definitely got the big L on the brain.”

“I am so sorry about them, I just…I’ve never had a date while we’ve lived together and-”

“It’s fine y/n.” he chuckled and rubbed his thumb over my hand. “You look gorgeous.”

“Thank you” I blushed. “I really just think it’s the dress though.”

“No, you’re definitely wearing the dress. It’s just you.” he smiled. “I’m very lucky.”

“I think I should be saying that.” he helped me into the car. “Have you and Wooyoung made up yet?”

“We’re working on it, just a spat if you will.”

“Please don’t be too mad at him, he’s just…passionate and caring, and if it’s about me…don’t worry ok. I…I can handle myself.”

“y/n?”

“I’m just saying…like thanks for the dress and going with me but like I totally get it. You don’t have to pretend to like me. We can call it quits after tonight ok.”

“Y/n…I’m not pretending.” Was that a lie? Even he didn’t know anymore.

“Just, don’t be mad at him for being defensive, he’s a great guy and he just…he’s seen me really get hurt by some guys so he gets..brotherly.”

“Y/n. We made up it’s ok, I get where he’s coming from. Seriously, I’m more than happy to go with you.”

The gala was busy, I was pulled aside a few times to talk to some of the people there once they saw me walk in with a man like Yunho. He screamed money, practically begging the Museum to come and ask him to be a donor. So they kept me busy and off to the side to butter up the man since I would obviously tell him if it was a scam of some sort. I ran into a friend of Yunho’s named Mingi, he sure is tall and funny, must be a thing they have, he’s telling me embarrassing stories about the pair growing up, oh if only Yunho could be over here too, so I could see his face in agony as he tells me these.

“I can’t believe you’re going through with this.” Wooyoung whisper yelled at the tall man so as to not alert anyone.

“Wooyoung it’s not what you think ok.”

“No it’s exactly what I think it is. After all this you’re still just going to use her and throw her away while I get hurt too. I don’t want to lose my best friend because you’re a scumbag.”

“Woo seriously it’s not like that.” Yunho pulled the man back. “Please just listen to me ok!”

“And why should I? Hmm?!”

“Because I lied!”

“About.”

“Okay maybe it wasn’t a lie when I said it but…it’s a lie now okay. I can’t stop thinking about her, and now I..I bought her that dress and all I wanna do is take her home and tear it off. God she looks amazing, and my chest clenches everytime I see Mingi make her laugh over there, he’s totally telling her some corny pick up line I mean look at them. I can practically hear her laughing and it makes me want to punch him so bad.”

“...you’re jealous.”

“I’m completely jealous.” he looked at Wooyoung. “I really like her Wooyoung, it’s painful how much I like her…and she thinks I’m just going to…let her go after this event? No way.”

“Mr. Jeong?” a waiter said pulling the two out of the conversation. “This is from the director, he would like to make sure his guests are…welcomed.”

“Yes yes thank you.” he took the drink and waved the man off. “God and everyone here keeps pulling her away so they can talk to me and all I want to do is look at my favorite piece in this whole god damn gallery up close.”

“Oh Mr. Moneybags isn’t having any fun now…serves you right, toying with my best friend just to fall in love with her later.”

“It’s not love….Okay maybe it is I don’t know, god Hongjoong is going to kill me.”

“You’re right.” the man said from behind them. “I am going to kill you. She’s a danger to us Yunho.”

“I just….I am tired of being alone hyung. Wooyoung was right. I…her smile makes me feel…...happy.”

“Prove to me she’s useful and maybe..I’ll grow to be okay with it. Just know what you’re dragging her into Yunho, this world isn’t kind and forgiving….San has the device and is going to plant it.” he walked away to make sure the plan was being followed. 

Yunho started drinking, and by drinking I mean too much, by the time I finally made my way back to him after about an hour and a half he was pink in the face and giggling at me.

“You’re so pretty.” he smiled and held my hand.

“You lose your composure fast when drinking hmm?” I chuckled at the man.

“I’m tired of talking about money to these people.”

“Why don’t we go look around at some stuff then? Get away for a second.” I took his hand leading him away from the party to go and look at some of the art, so it could be quiet. We ironically made our way back to Room 43, where it all started.

“y/n.” he turned me towards him, here it comes, the “break-up”.....Why…why is he kissing me if he’s not interested.

“Yunho.” he kissed me again pulling me back in. “Yunho you’re drunk.” I chuckled and pushed him gently.

“You’re beautiful.” he kissed me again. “I don’t want you going anywhere not for a long time.” he mumbled and kissed me. “I’m an idiot, I like you so much it hurts. Please…please will you be my girlfriend?”

“Yunho.” I looked at him.

“I want to buy you everything those pretty eyes land on, take you out to Paris for lunch because I can. Wooyoung was right, I’m completely head over heels for you, and I really don’t want to let you go.”

“So that’s what you two fought over….you two really are idiots.”

“Please say yes.”

“Why me? There’s so many others.”

“Because in a room full of art pieces, you’re my favorite one to look at.” he leaned in and put his forehead to mine. “I’m an idiot but I want to be your idiot. Please say yes.”

“You really think I’m going to say no after you bought me this dress? God you really are my idiot aren’t you.” I kissed him this time and he pulled me in impossibly close. My answer was always going to be yes.

God men are stupid aren’t they.

“Oh is this the pretty thing Wooyoung was talking about?” the mysterious man came into the room.

“Go away San.” Yunho groaned.

“Oh a friend of yours?” I started to turn around but Yunho pulled me back in. “What? Don’t want me to see him come on Yunho.” I turned around and smiled to the pink haired boy. “Oh hey San.” I smiled

“y/nnnn” he drawled out and came over to hug me tightly.

~3rd Person POV~

San came in to hug Y/n holding the device meant to be planted on the system by the painting, he hadn’t expected to see the pair in the room so, they improvise. San quietly passed the device to Yunho going in for the hug so the man could plant it. Y/n turned back to Yunho to make small talk.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other, oh he’s part of the gang Woo was talking about isn’t he.” she chuckled.

San’s expression fell for a moment while Yunho made a recovery.

“Ah you got me, San is part of our little gang of misfits.” Yunho chuckled back.

“How’s you get in anyways? Oh did Woo bring you with the invite, I told him to be careful bringing people along.” Y/n sighed.

“Yeah basically snuck in you know.” San laughed nervously.

“Did you come up to look at the art?” y/n asked. “Yunho and I were just taking a break from the people.”

Yunho moved closer to the wall again since her attention was back on San.

“Oh yeah, you two sure looked like you were talking.” San joked only to have y/n blushing.

“Oh please it could’ve been way worse. Right Yunho?” she turned around to the man to step closer as he hid the device beind his back once again.

Y/n moved back over to him and San stepped closer once more to take the device back once more in hopes to finally get what he needed. Yunho pulled her in giving it back to San.

“Swapping notes?” she asked.

“Just a fist bump”

“Oh god not a bro move…really?” she laughed at the man.

“Sorry beautiful.” Yunho acted fast and decided it was best to try to distract her, maybe if she was flustered they could finally get this damn device on the security panel. It was RIGHT THERE.

“Anyways San-” Y/n began to turn again but Yunho not wanting her to see him fiddling with the wall grabbed her quickly 

“Y/n” he said and kissed her like his life depended on it…in a weird way it did.

While distracted San had to move with haste, he had to get the panel off the wall and….oh god why are there so many things involved in this! Ok he can do this he can get the panel off and-

“And why did you kiss me?” she asked.

“Can I not kiss my new girlfriend, we were doing that uninterrupted before.” Yunho smiled. “I just missed the feeling. One more?” he pouted and she leaned in and he gave San a look saying ‘I can’t do this forever hurry!’

If only San could just get the corner up and slide it under and

“Got it!” he said a little too excited and loud.

“Got what?” Y/n turned to look at him

Lucky for the boys San thought quickly and took out his phone to make it look lke he snapped a picture of the young couple.

“Just my new blackmail material is all.” he smiled.

“You’re such a jerk.” y/n laughed and hit his arm.

“Let’s rejoin the party?” Yunho suggested. They all made their way back while San and Yunho shared a look of ‘That was WAY too close.’

~Original POV~

“Why don’t I take you home?” Yunho offered.

“Hmm?” I looked up at him. “Sure you don’t want to hear more great offers about donating to the museum?” I chuckled at him.

“No I honestly would rather be Michealangelo and cut off my ear…..Why are you laughing so much.”

“Van Gogh cut his ear off after alcohol withdrawal…and other mental illness. Michealangelo had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.”

“I knew that I was just testing you.” he smiled.

“Maybe I should drive.” I calmed my laughter.

“Oh and let you see my place? Hmm I don’t think you’re ready for my big impressive house.” he smiled. “I can drive, I’m sober.”

“Well maybe I need to see this big impressive house to decide if I’m ready for it or not.” I winked at him. “Come on, these heels are killing me anyways.”

We got up and said our goodbyes, Yunho led me to the valet who brought the car around, both of my bosses Marcus and Henry, and the directors for the Museum came to see us off making sure to let Yunho know they’d love to see him at more events. (Give them more money). We got in the car, he put in the address and made our way back.

“My pretty girlfriend.” he smiled as we stopped at a light.

“Oh so I’ve downgraded from beautiful to pretty.” I chuckled and pinched his cheek. He took my hand and gave me a small peck on the back of my hand.

“Never.” he smiled.

We pulled up to the flat but didn’t move for a second. It was silent

“Everyone is going to be there for a while still, Will loves to attend those events for networking, and Becka and Emma are going out of town this weekend to visit Emma’s parents….if you’d…like to come in? Just for a drink.” I said finally breaking the silence.

“Yes.” he mumbled and got out of the car quickly rushing around to open the door.

We made our way inside and locked the door again. I poured a glass of Whiskey for the two of us and we practically took them as shots..One more for good luck?..... 

“I’m just going to change into something more comfortable now that we’re back.” I said motioning upstairs. “If you want to join me we can watch something on my computer?” he followed me up the small staircase and into my bedroom.

“Oh, it’s tiny.” he chuckled.

“Well it’s usually just me.” I flung my shoes off my feet and sighed in relief.

He pushed me up against the door to once again to capture my lips, they’ve probably started swelling from the bruising nature of the kisses.

“You look so fucking beautiful in this dress.” he mumbled against my lips. “It’ll look better on the floor.”

“Do you always use cheesy lines on girls?” I giggled.

“Just ones who think I’m funny.” he smiled.

“You know your friend Mingi is really funny.” I smiled into the kiss, pushing his buttons just a little. “Do you think he thought I was pretty?”

“He better, otherwise I have to knock some sense into him.” he chuckled pulling me back in.

The dress quickly found it’s way onto the floor revealing the matching set I was wearing.

“Black Lace? All for me.” he chuckled in between kisses.

“To be fair I didn’t know this would happen.”

“Oh but you wanted it to.” he teased.

“Don’t get a big head now, you might faint.”

Yunho’s hand moved to my thighs as I wrapped my legs around his waist, his hands groped what they could kneading the soft flesh he found there. He moved off the wall and made his way over to the bed laying me down and hovering over. I unbuttoned his shirt before he tugged it off the rest of the way, his lips never leaving mine until he started making his way down my neck nipping at the soft skin, surely he could feel my pulse racing.

“Nervous? We don’t have to-” I stopped him with a kiss this time.

“If you leave me high and dry I might stop talking to you for good.”

This man isn’t just good at talking, or looking pretty he knows how to use every part. He looked up at me from his spot between my legs for the last 20 minutes, he had me nearing my third orgasm of the night and I was seeing stars.

“That’s it beautiful, doing so well for me.” who knew I liked being praised.

“Fuck, Yunho.” I moaned and clenched around his fingers again. “Oh god right there, it feels so fucking good.” he was rubbing against that soft spongy part inside me, and fuck was my head spinning. “I wanna ride you baby please.” I moaned out as he held my hip down when it bucked up. “Fuck!” I yelped when his fingers curled again.

“Whatever you want baby.” he smiled and got up kissing back up my body. I could still taste myself on him when he kissed me again.

He helped me up since my legs were already giving up at this point, it’s been a long time since I last slept with anyone and he was making me feel like I was floating. He sat up against the headboard and I moved to lower myself onto him.

“Oh fuck.” I moaned and slipped him inside just the tip at first the stretch was harsh, he was bigger than any of my previous partners and now I realize why he was taking his time. 

“Relax baby, otherwise you’re gonna get hurt.” he kissed my temple. “I’ve got you, and we can stop whenever you want.”

“Fuck, you’re such a gentleman.” I chuckled and relaxed a little sinking down further. “Oh shit.” I bit my lip and pressed my forehead to his.

“You’re taking me so well baby. Feel so good.” he mumbled against my forehead as I rocked my hips forwards and back sinking down again. “That’s it pretty girl.” he rubbed my hips as I fell flush against him.

“Oh my god.” I mumbled and ground against him, my clit hitting his pubic bone, the friction felt amazing.

The minutes passed by as I grew more comfortable with the full feeling and the stretch between my legs, I’m going to be so fucking sore tomorrow. “Fuck I’m gonna cum.” I moaned into his ear as I began to bounce on him gently, if I thought his fingers hit my g-spot well, I was sorely mistaken. I was seeing stars in a matter of minutes, my walls clamping around him as I rode out my high moaning his name.

“Fuck baby I’m so close, come on, one more time.” he reached down to rub my clit with his thumb as I held onto my headboard for support.

“Fuck, Yunho��Yunho…” I moaned into his neck feeling overstimulated, my eyes began watering.

“That’s it baby.” he moaned into my ear. “Come on good girl.”

My eyes rolled back and I felt my hips jerk and a loud moan come out of my throat, fuck was he good. He laid me down and after a few more minutes of  hip bruising thrusts he pulled out and came on my stomach with a guttural groan of my name.

“Fuck.” he breathed out and held himself up on his forearms to keep from collapsing.

“You do this for every girl who works at an art museum?”

“Only the prettiest ones there.” he kissed me gently.

“That was amazing.” I kissed him.

“If you thought that was good just wait until you see how good the aftercare is.” he kissed me nose and helped me up carrying me to the bathroom to take a quick shower and clean up. He held me up practically the whole time since I couldn’t feel my legs and he didn’t let me move a muscle, he was extra careful where it was sore and sensitive, and he made sure to kiss me as many times as he could.

“Yunho?” I looked up at him from under the stream of water.

“Yes y/n?” he rubbed my cheek.

“Don’t go yet?” I nuzzled into his hand.

“I’ll stay.” he smiled.

He dried me off as best he could and went to grab something to wear for me, he came back and the little self doubt I had reared its ugly head.

“Shit.” I mumbled.

“What?” he put my shirt over my head.

“I don’t have any clothes for you to wear.”

“I’ll wear my boxers and then put my shirt and pants back on before I leave.” he chuckled. “Don’t worry.”

“Promise you won’t disappear before I wake up?” I looked up at him while he got in the probably too small for two people sized bed.

“I would never do that.” he took my hand and kissed it. “I meant it, I’m crazy about you and I don’t want to fuck it up……again.”

“Goodnight Yunho” I let out a yawn.

“Goodnight Beautiful.” he pulled me in close and rubbed my back.

They were both in deep, they just didn’t realize it yet.

Prev/Next

[cerezzzita]

Info dump about your OCs bestie!

Hey, Sylvie! Sorry for the late answer btw, and in advance, I wanna say that the info dumps here are mostly about Millie and Evangeline, and they came from a talk I had with someone a month ago and is slightly edited, but ahem! Let's see it!

When I firstly wrote Evangeline, right after joining the DMC fandom two years ago, she was more like a counterpart of Dante than her actual own character, but thank god I changed that; she still can be considered his counterpart, though, since she's born from a angel with a human woman and he's born from a demon with a human woman. Anyways, Evangeline is more on the calm, serene side, usually being descript as that mature friend that you can always rely on because they'll always try to help you or comfort you no matter what. She is also very patient, collected and a bit childish — not the bad kind of childish, y'know, it's just that she was raised a bit far from mundane things and when she sees them for the first time she mostly gets excited and amused, and she have a thing for simplicity. Evangeline never asks too much, she just want to love and be loved, she cares and want to be cared, and trust me, she does loves Dante very much (right after their mutual pining, by the way). After all, he was her first in mostly everything related to love/mutual feelings field. Evangeline's also the smooth, silky type of flirter, she always knows how to make Dante go goo goo eyes for her and vice-versa. She's genuine, and hates any kind of betrayal. Her younger self also had a difficult time speaking of her feelings, gladly that changed as she matured. Evangeline's family is everything for her, she values them with her full heart and soul, her daughter Evelynn is her most beloved treasure, because she sees her more than just a being she and Dante concieved; she's her and Dante's second change to make things right.

Evangeline's also a Devil Hunter, and her kit is pretty similar to Dante's: she owns two platinum-like pistols named Grace & Glory and a spear (sidenote: angels, in my concept, don't really like or see the need for swords, they rather prefer spears) named Adamant. She also owns very diverse types of Devil Arms, they're still a wip, by the way.

Now for a bit of her past, Evangeline was born and raised in a far but stunning city named Caelumia — mostly known for the wealth and for the status of "The Doorway to Heaven", because, secretly, the city it is the angels' doorway so they can enter the Human World, but only a few can pass through. Her surname is Celiath and came from her mother, Rachel, a single human woman, and her father is named Hamaliel, a high-class angel. Yeah, I could say more buuut you'll have to read my future fic!

Now, onto Millie. Her real name being Millicent, she's more that laid-back, relaxed friend you have, y'know. She mostly appears to not give a damn about anything, so much that she's indifferent with the fact that demons exists and was kinda surprised but didn't made a big deal when she discovered that Dante was a half-demon. Pretty much like Evangeline, she's calm and usually don't let her feelings get the best of her, since her work as a pawner can and will be stressful enough depending on the customer she has; and yes, Dante's her favourite. Why? Because Millie have a thing for the "occult", and as said before, she doesn't give a damn about demons, she rather like to have things from them, and she makes sure Dante will always bring her some Orbs or even little bottles with demonic fluids. That girl is crazy, I tell you that. She also is the best in her line of work and always knows how to gain and keep money, a ironic contrast with Dante, so that's why she decided that he and she should be friends; and even that the both of them are full grown-ass adults, they tend to behave like two teenagers. Millie really cherishes his friendship because she doesn't let most people close to her (for tragic backstory reasons), he's an exception. She may be kinda tough on the outside, but she's a softie on the inside.

As stated above, Millie owns a pawn shop that is basically located in the end of the street where Devil May Cry shop is, and it came from her grandparents. Her shop is known for not being a regular one, since you mostly finds there itens that are related to Devil Hunters, and in fact they look for her shop so they can find something of their use. She's not a good body-to-body fighter but her aim is impeccable and she owns a kit with shotguns and rifles, when she have to deal with some not pleasant client.

And I guess that's all, for now! Thank you for stopping by!

[alienducky]

I DEMAND THAT YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR BLORBOS (if you want)

So I had to double check what Blorbo means, and apparently it means your favourite character? In which case may I present a good % of the FE3H cast? ;P

I just... I love most of the students in different ways for different things?

Claude is just... Claude. He has so many layers to him, being both incredibly simple (in terms of what he ultimately wants) and also stupidly complex (in how he goes about getting those things)? He wants to make connections, make friends, bring everyone together, but has been burned too many times while growing up to ever really trust anyone. He's always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for that knife to land in his back. His closest friend is Hilda who openly shits on Almyra because she's a casual racist, and that has to kill him on some level, wondering what she'd say about him if she knew, and yet she's still his best friend who he openly mourns when she goes down fighting for him? Who he can't stand the thought of losing in Hopes? He has to be in charge, of everything. Has to know all the details, make all the plans. And then makes plans for in case the first ones fail. He never stops thinking, calculating, digging up all the information available, because knowledge is power. Not just for blackmail, but because understanding your opponent means you can predict them.

Claude's just great, and I could pick him apart for hours.

Also? He has a wyvern. So, ya know. I'm very simple and predictable, ok?

I also love Leonie. She's solid, very open and honest. Kinda stubborn, but open to learning and can admit when she's wrong. Puts Lorenz in his place which is always a bonus. I want her to be my friend!

Same with Raphael and Caspar to some degree. Caspar is a little less willing to the whole learning thing, but with enough rope to tie him to the chair so he can't run away I think he'd eventually listen? Raph sees the good in everyone and everything, always willing to help, and stands up for his beliefs. They're muscle heads, but fundamentally kind people who deserve way more love than they get

Marianne is a peach who straight up talks to animals! Hilda is a riot when she pulls her head out her racist ass who has way more depth than she lets on, with the whole loyalty till death thing, and her creative side with the jewellery. I want to tease Lysithea like Claude does and feed her cake and sweets while we discuss magic. Ignatz is doing his best and the flashes of backbone he shows in early supports are amazing

Annette and Ashe are wonderful and deserve all the best things in life. Two little cinnamon rolls trying to make the best of their monuments of childhood trauma

Sylvain is.... Um. Ok, he's kinda an ass sometimes, and if he were real I'd probably hate him, but the snippets of who he could have been without all that Miklan and crest trauma? That version of him I love. The one who goes all out for his friends, who is a self sacrificing moron who hurts himself over and over because he somehow thinks it'll make things better? The one who cares so, so deeply when he lets himself, despite trying to push everyone away and keep them at arm's reach so they can't hurt him first. The version of him who is loyal to a fault, through thick and thin, and who is forever torn and on some level broken in non Blue Lion routes.

That Sylvain I love. The one behind the smiling playboy mask he shows the world.

Petra is a Bean. A Very Good Bean. She deserves all the love and kindness and all the help she wants tracking down the bastards who dragged her from her home and then made fun of her being dumped in a completely alien society. She is so damn strong, both physically (srsly she's been a crit machine in every playthrough it's insane) and mentally, I don't have the words

Thea is great in every way. She's kind and compassionate and is lethal with her snark. I want her to adopt me as her little sister and teach me her ways

Bernie needs a hug. And also all the help she wants disposing of her father because I know she's creative herself but I have some ideas if she wants them? Despite how much she wants to hide, and complains about being made to go out, she does go out to help her friends when they need her

Cyril is amazing. I love him to bits. Absolutely no fucks left to give for Hilda's bullshit. Slowly learning how to have friends. Learning to rely on people other than Rhea. He's wonderful and adorable and he'd hate me for it but I want to ruffle his hair and help him with his chores and make sure he's not getting blisters and feed him tasty Almyran food coz I bet he misses it, even if he won't admit it.

Shamir is everything I wanted to be growing up. No nonsense, take no shit, super smart, stealthy, and an archer??? She's great. I need that Marge Simpson meme

Seteth is fantastic, because once you get past that straight faced rules lawyer, he has a wicked sense of humour and a playful side and is such a dad. He's kind and caring, and he honestly does care, even if he shows it oddly

Byleth is whatever I want them to be. Blank slate, who nevertheless loves the people they pick in each route. Fierce and loyal and loving and struggling to express barely understood emotions... And putting up with Sothis being a gremlin

And then omg, Shez. Shez Shez Shez. The embodiment of no thoughts head empty. No filter, at all. Jumps off fucking cliffs for funsies. Multiple times!!!!! I just. I love Shez, ok? I am in desperate need of Shez merch, and Etsy is failing me. All I can find is the occasional sticker and I am a very sad Duckie about it

Ahem

Non FE3H is a little difficult... Mostly because 3H is my current obsession, but I guess...

Arlo and Oaks, from My Time at Portia are great? Arlo eats spaghetti, kicks down doors, and gets sweaty in the summer. Oaks is the Best Bear Boy Bean in the world. Shame the Devs dropped the ball on developing him, or giving him a decent backstory (I have so, so many questions about how he was raised)

Also, probably don't count, but the Cotton Llamas and Panbats. They are my Blorbos too. I need to finish making my third Panbat... As soon as I work out where I stashed it <__<;;;

Dys from I Was A Teenage Exocolonist is great! Little rebel baby. Also Sym, who is... Not really someone you can sum up easily? Cal is also great! I need to get back to playing this game, so I can romance him. Or not, because I want him to be happy with Tammy... Nngh

I think that's everyone I'd consider a Blorbo...? I mean, I love a bunch of other characters from different things, but none I've got out of my way to buy merch for like I have Claude (and the other students to some extent. Looking at my sticker covered table).

Sorry that got so long >__<;;;

[satanswrathussy]

mystic messenger playthrough day 5 i think??

this is literally just a thought dump there's no need to read this unless you want to read my ever spiraling confusion while playing this for the first time !!

TL;DR I DIDNT GET THE DAY 5 BAD END !! I'm on Jaehee's route and I'm terrified of messing up lmao

Word Dump

I already forgot how i've been formatting these- but i'm mobile so i doubt it matters anyways :,)

Anyways I discovered I have to start from Day 1 every time I get an ending, and I didn't want to do all of that just to see the Day 5 bad ending- so I looked up transcripts of the dialogue and ... I'm definitely getting ddlc'd because what the fuck bro

I think my favorite part is how Zen talks about his freaky dream, and SOMEHOW if you don't pick someone by Day 5- Yoosung gets woke then JUST DIPS????? WITH SOME RELIGIOUS CULT PPL?????? HUH?????

I'm assuming this isn't canon, like it was just thrown in to shame the player for not choosing lmao, bUT I'm also convinced the cult is involved in the story- and I'm absolutely blaming Rika for it even though i have like..... minimal evidence............. and that she's dead............ i still don't believe she's dead

Also I know this is a game so real world rules don't apply- but I didn't expect THAT to be the bad ending? I'd expect something like that to happen in a Yoosung exclusive bad end, not necessarily just a neutral "oopsie you're indecisive!" ending. I think it would make more sense if- because MC didn't get enough hearts for anyone -the RFA decides "actually let's NOT trust this random person to replace our dead friend."

So I'm on Jaehee's route- which may have been a bad choice, because the internet says the story makes the MOST sense if you play Zen/Yoosung/Jaehee ... but since I chose Jaehee when I started, I decided I'll just .... work backwards or something lmao.

OH ALSO I FOUND OUT JAEHEE IS NOT ROMANCE-ABLE AND IM SCREAMING CRYING AND THROWING UP

Anywhooo I'm not sure how I feel about this route so far, because it kinda just feels like a Jaehee pity parade? Like the devs decided "yes. she shall be a punching bag.", because so far it just seems like I have to keep reassuring her? Which I don't mind- but like please just let her be hAPPY SOON???

Predictions

Although I think the Day 5 bad end was meant to be a cop out, I think the cult ACTUALLY has something to do with the game.

is it bad i wanna invite the cult to the party

I think Rika faked her death and then started that weird Yoosung snatching cult. I don't care I REFUSE to trust her.

I'm also convinced Rika is Unknown and she's gonna make MC convince the RFA to join her weird Yoosung snatching cult.

I am very anti Rika despite never seeing her (outside of the cutscene before Day 5)

I bet Rika is just THE WORST. Like the way everyone talks ab her??? No one is just NATURALLY that nice unless they're covering shit up.

Theories

Would saying "Rika is the worst" count as a theory?

I JUST CAME UP W THIS- BUT I WOULD BET MY RIGHT HAND THAT RIKA WAS EMBEZZLING THE FUNDRAISER MONEY TO START HER WEIRD CULT

okay i forgot anything else i was wanting to say. it's only 5:30 so there's probably more day 5 chats coming up (i missed a lot bc i slept until 9am >:( )

[luckyqueenreign]

Hello dear!

Here comes the rant😆

What a heck I just read? FB for sure made some strange choices.

First of all - why we should twist with new boys? Mc should be sent home - like there literally was a text "if you single - you'd be dumped". Our theory about Finn and Kat twisting if MC single had much more sense!

Secondly. Suresh, dude, are you for real? Still playing games instead of showing everyone were you stand. And Lulu seems really sweet, how dare he to use her like that? I mean it was obvious she's his safe choice to stay but FB making him such an asshole? Why he didn't tell her "I can bring you but that'll be friendship couple cuz I only want MC"? For someone who's talking"i care about you, MC" he's definitely makes her life much more complicated!

Gabi. I tried to be civil, all right? Why she suddenly thinks she has to show how important she was for Suresh? He's literally told you "it wasn't anything serious for me" and your answer "I think it's a lie"?? Piss off, woman! You've been a rebound, a replacement of a real girlfriend. And your wants won't change the reality.

Alfie. Dude, why are you still trying talk to MC when she made it clear that you are friends, nothing more?? My MC even told you to couple up with Meera and was ready to go home. And now you bringing Meera back and all she's doing - making a show "we're such a power couple" and glaring at MC even though my MC has been telling "you are great together!" Arlo #2 much?? And now I read that she wants to dump MC?? Not cool. MC isn't to blame if you not confident enough in your couple, stop being a bitch!

My poor MC doesn't have any girlfriends on this circus! Please Lulu, you are the last hope for a true friendship!

Finn. Weeell. You giving me Noah vibes with your uncertainty. I have a feeling he fancies MC more then Kat but Kat is an easy option, you know? it's like under all his flirting and bravado he's not confident enough in himself to be with someone so gorgeous and cool like MC. I mean - dude literally said "you are out of my league" to MC...🤔 But maybe it's wishful thinking 😃

And Nicolas... OMG, he's just male version of Kat! I knew there was something about him and playing the game but damn! My girl had enough drama in her life and doesn't need more. I don't fancy men who loves stirring the pot... Now I have even more doubts about him. I don't see him in solid couple with a girl if she's serious and not in all this drama/playing games. But he's definitely a good option make Suresh jealous 😆

Welp... At this point I don't even mind taking money and never seeing those people again 😆 but we'll see new islanders. Maybe FB will give us a dependable guy (maybe an old friend of MC who's always been in love with her and hated Suresh for hurting his favourite girl??)

First - YES!! This made NO SENSE the text said single islanders would be DUMPED and then wait NOT U MC! ur special! No we're not! U literally drag us through the mug every fucking episode

Second- babe thats not suresh...idk who that is but its not him. because the man that said all that stuff to us before he left for casa wouldnt be choosing grandma Lulu who he literally has no spark with over us.

Third - Gabi doesnt seem to understand that one sided relationships exist. One person can like another person more than the other. Sorry babe but this happens more often than not...just because he was around doesnt mean he was around.

Fourth - I personally didnt get the vibe that he was trying it on MC I got more friend vibes from him, but maybe that's how I played it. Meera was being such a bitch that I can't wait for me to not go home next week, but to rub it in her face that her bestie is tho

Fifth - I low-key loved Noah 2.0 and If I find out something shady happened between Gabi/Suresh on that terrace rooftop im jumping ship to Finn so fucking fast.

sixth - idk im getting the ick from Nicolas 🫣 hes too much with the gossip and drama he seems more into that than MC. and saying he needed to fake their connection 🙄 thats a no for me dog.

im staying on the suresh route until it becomes even more obvious that there is none left and then will be jumping ship to Finn.

[myname-isnia]

Just over a month ago I was 100% convinced that I was bi, openly talked about wanting a girlfriend, mentioned on several occasioned that I want to meet a pretty girl who’d rail me well enough for me to want to uproot my entire life and move to be with her, etc etc. I was so sure of this, believed it for five whole years, almost to the day. The anniversary of my realisation was just about a week away

Then, in the span of one night, it was as though a switch was flipped. Nothing happened, but something changed. I realised that I have never once experienced romantic or sexual attraction to any real person and that the thought of being touched made me want to vomit. I decided that the aroace label fits me better. It was a big hit to my sense of self because I felt like an entire third of my life was a lie. But it’s alright, I told myself. It’s still possible to find people who will love you. Family, friends, maybe a qpr. Everything will be okay. I never was aphobic towards others in any way, but definitely had some internalised aphobia directed at myself to work through

Not long after, when I had yet another fight with my mom, I realised that I was afamilial too. Family was always a touchy subject for me. My parents can't stand each other, neither could my maternal grandparents. I hated my little sister for the longest time because my mom didn't want to be around us any longer than she absolutely had to and essentially dumped her on me. My extended family was always wracked with conflicts too. So as soon as I was old enough to understand all of that, I lost all love for my family. I still care for them and would try to help them in any way if needed, but I don't exactly love them in the expected way. And I don't want a found family either, no matter how much I like that trope in fiction. I've had friend groups before that attempted to assign familial roles to everyone, and I hated that. It didn't matter if I ended up the put-upon older sister, the distant aunt or the mom friend, I refused any role I was given and was ostracized for it. Whether biological or not, I don't want to be anyone's parent, sibling, daughter, or anything else

That was all very hard to work through and accept, but I'm slowly getting there. I had a long crisis about feeling like I will never be enough because all I can offer someone is a platonic relationship. That's still something I struggle with, but it was slowly getting better. Until I suddenly understood that I didn't want a qpr either. I don't know, it just feels like... too much. Too personal, too intimate, too close for comfort. Something that I wouldn't trust anyone to not turn into something I wouldn't want. I have struggles with boundaries, my touch repulsion fluctuates way too much, I have an unpredictable temper and am way too easy to piss off. I don't think I could ever be in something as close as a queerplatonic relationship with anyone, it would make everyone involved miserable. So it isn't something I want either

And now, as if all of that wasn't enough, I'm considering a possible aplatonic identity as well. I'm not completely aplatonic, I have a handful of very close friends that I deeply care for and genuinely love, but I have no interest in expanding that circle. Friendships never came easy to me, I was always the backup friend for everyone to talk to when no one better was around. And when I did make friends, I often struggled with feeling genuine empathy towards them and didn't realise I was hurting them by leaving their messages on read or not wanting to hang out after school. I always felt so out of place in friend groups, and in one-on-one friendships I was always too much. Too clingy, too obsessive, too ignorant of what the other person wanted. Because it wasn't friendship I craved, but attention and a chance to talk to someone. So while I wouldn't trade the friends I do have for the world, I don't want any new ones. I have no interest in "finding my crowd" or whatever. I'm okay with what I have, I don't need anything else. After scrolling through the relevant tags it seems like plato-indifferent demiplatonic is as close I can get to describing how I feel

So... I don't know. On one hand, I'm happy that I'm figuring myself out and can feel more confident about both my identity and what I want from life. But on the other... it feels like some kinds of threads are snapping one by one. Like I'm becoming less and less connected to what is supposed to make me human. I know that's stupid, love isn't what makes us human, there's nothing that decides someone's humanity apart from the fact they're born a homo sapiens. But if I don't feel romantic or sexual attraction, don't want a family or a qpr or new friends, what worth is there to me? Humans aren't meant to live isolated, but I seem to lack the ability to form genuine connections 99% of the time. If I lose my current friends, I don't think I'll be able to make new ones. And then I'll be alone

I know this all probably stems from trauma and if I manage to heal, some of that may change and I'll find myself wanting things that currently make me nauseous to even think about. But there's no guarantee I will ever heal, or that things will change if I do. It almost seems like I was destined to be alone, like my very being is self sabotaging by nature. Or maybe I'm overreacting and this is all just some internalised shit that I need to work through. I don't know. I just don't fucking know

[lucile-rants]

Breaking news! Instead of letting a trans woman of color (a friend, not me) and a nonbinary person (who reads as very masculine, also not me) share their frustrations about the musical they'll never be cast in, local asshole decides to argue that they shouldn't be aloud to have that discussion and derails it into their own trauma instead, making the whole groupchat assure them that we don't hate them and also deal with heavily triggering topics being dumped with no warning! Complains that nobody wants to interact with them over the summer after ignoring my texts all summer!

I'm just not interacting on the gc rn. I don't have the mental health myself to talk about any of these topics. I know some of this is about me. Not shit I've actually done, but like, the small things. Saying I can't make it to their dance show because I have homework when really the reason is I don't have the energy, I don't like dance, and they did some shit to me over the year that makes me hesitant to be around them.

And and and they have a track record about lying for the fun of it! The shit they said would be taking it way too far, but it's not like they've never gone over the edge before.

You know what? Maybe I am, "Trying to convince [myself] that [I'm] in the right and [they're] in the wrong." Maybe I am. Maybe it's because I cannot deal with this on the groupchat I started to talk about stuff in theater.

My friend who is a transwoman was fucking on topic and talkking about the shit we were talking about. My friend who is nonbinary was on topic and talking about the shit we were talking about.

Maybe I do want to leave them. Maybe I do. Because the shit they pull is a weight that my barely functioning head can't handle.

Being an asshole about other people's flaws too is horrible. "[name], you attempting peace is a surprise. I thought you would have gotten popcorn and enjoyed the show." Fuck you. What a scummy thing to tell someone who has never done anything to suggest that.

"I'm pretty sure the last time I was hopeful was when i was like a year old maybe a year and a half." I call bullshit. I call fucking bullshit. You absolute asshole. When a trans woman explains how hopeless it felt to realize who she was and what the world thought of her, you don't tell her you haven't been hopeful once in your life.

And to say that after she said she didn't have the mental energy to deal with a serious conversation! And then right after that to give no warning before... ugh! It boils my blood!

I think she put it nicely when she said, "Listen, the fact is you are able to participate in theatre. You have the mental privilege of being able to do this." I really appreciate the way she put it because like, damn. Very real. Not all of us have a brain that's wired well enough to be able to do that or to be allowed to be able to do that.

I need them to fucking stop talking for five seconds. Someone else came into the chat to say that we're their friend and that we want to help and they legitimately said, "Yeah sure you do. Like I'd fall for that trick." FUCK OFF.

We're all trying to help, besides me who needs somewhere ANYWHERE to put my feelings so I don't make the situation worse by saying how I feel. They won't FUCKING ACCEPT THE HELP.

I know how it feels to be fucked over in the brain. Hell, I know how it feels to think all the thoughts they are saying. It isn't their fault for feeling like this but DAMN YOU if it doesn't affect the rest of us too. You can't just tell someone they're a horrible person who hates you and that they don't really care about you and that you want them to stop trying and complain that people will maybe at some point in the future leave you.

Thank you to the person they pointed out the flaws of out of the blue for saying, "Do not do that, especially not to [name]. Out of everyone here, [name] has probably been the most faithful and friendly," because dear god, yes he has. And dear god, I know he hurts and has been through so much. And I know he's getting better lately. He's too nice to point out that this whole groupchat is a fuck ton of bullshit from this person where they're trying to pull all of us into their pit.

And using his name to address him when saying horrible things that aren't true is too far. Maybe I'm just weird about names, but you don't use someone's name to do that. You just don't. Especially not someone who chose that name.

And when he suggests we all go to bed to cool off, they take that as a sign that people always leave when he tells them they will! He suggested we all take a break so we don't tear one another apart! That's all he said!

Please tell me how they can send the message, "No, I run into people who actually want to be friends with people who won't drive them insane," and follow it up with, "People who look out for themselves instead of everyone else." I'm sorry, but is it so self centered to not want your friends to hurt you and verbally attack you?

And ha ha! Always fun for someone to throw around the term narcissist! So much fun! (I don't even have NPD and people using it like any old insult irks me.)

And since when is cutting off people who hurt you selfish? I ask this as someone unable to do that.

I think I'm going to call someone who isn't in that groupchat and just talk to someone for a while. This whole thing is eating at me and I don't want to see spiders. I'm only still here so I can make sure that nobody fucking dies in the groupchat I started to discuss a class.

Don't worry. I'm in no danger.