#tate langdon incorrect quotes

[graktung]

Vivien: I'm not mad I just want to know why you two need a fake ID?

Tate: *mumbles*

Vivien: What was that?

Violet: ...You need to be over 18 at PetCo to hold the puppies.

[zombiefied-frat-boy]

blorbos from my horror show + random excerpts from ao3

[mentally-ill-simp]

Tate:*walking into his mom's room at 4am holding her eyeliner*

Constance: *waking up* what do you want

Tate: I need you to do my makeup for school

Constance:*sighing and getting up to do Tate's skull makeup*

Tate:I still hate you

[ahs-confessions]

[drarreckyninja]

*texting*

Tate: hey we need to talk

Violet: just a sec i just got a package

Tate: great

Tate: uh, i don't wanna be your boyfriend anymore

Violet: ...?

Tate: open the package

*Violet opens the package; inside is a velvet box and a note that reads 'i don't want to be your boyfriend anymore, i want to be your husband, marry me?' Inside the box is a diamond ring*

Violet: Yes!!!

[horriblehs]

Michael: i just wanna be like you dad

Tate: dO i LoOk-

[ahsbitch]

Violet: *looking at a wrapped present sitting on her bed*

Violet: Promise me that this isn't more bees

Tate: *in a completely different room of the house*

Tate, yelling: Just open it!

[thispenguinrocks]

therapist: a hot spawn of satan can’t hurt you, it’s not real

ryan murphy:

[passer-bi]

(possessed) Mary Eunice: get me a large coffee.

Barista: *hands over large coffee*

(possessed) Mary Eunice: What the FUCK is this. THIS is a LARGE?! You expect me to run off of this 32 oz cup for a whole fucking day?! Get ME SOMETHING I CAN DROWN MYSELF IN. Something th-

Lana: she'll take it thanks.

[lazy-cat-corner]

Never forget [cue titanic sinking theme]

[graktung]

Tate: Time for plan G.

Violet: Don't you mean plan B?

Tate: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Violet: What about plan D?

Tate: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Violet: What about plan E?

Tate: I'm hoping not to use it. I die in plan E.

[zombiefied-frat-boy]

michael arriving at the outpost and seeing a twinky hairdresser that looks like the yassified version of his dad:

[mentally-ill-simp]

Tate: no "sorry I banged your mom and got her pregnant" cards

[alphabetatoes]

Michael: Tate, I think you should play the role of my father

Tate: I don't want to be your father

Michael: That's perfect, you already know your lines

[drarreckyninja]

Tate: Welcome to my room. As you can see, I've knocked over many chairs because I get so tilted at the towers. Violet: Uh, this isn't really tilted. Or a tower. Tate: Well you see, it's a gamer pad. Not many girls come in here because I get friendzoned so frequently. But that's okay. Violet: I'd like to be in the Friendzone! I like friends! Tate: It's not as pleasant as you think. They don't treat you like a friend. They treat you like an item. Sometimes I wish I could be more than just an accessory to these women; But unfortunately, as a gamer, I don't get respect. Violet: I'm not a gamer! so maybe they'll respect me! Tate: That just makes you a beta cuck.

[revclution9]

Michael: dad?

Tate: yes?

Michael: I love you

Tate: Aww, I love me too

Michael: wh-