#ted lasso so long farewell

[boardchairman-blog]

**Shots of the Episode**

Ted Lasso (2020)

Season 3, Episode 12: “So Long, Farewell” (2023) Director: Declan Lowney Cinematographer: Vanessa Whyte

[eyesonstars-feetonground]

Ted Lasso 3x12: Why the Finale Felt a Bit Hollow

I genuinely think the only way to end Ted’s arc was to have him return to Henry. There’s no world in which he would ask his son to move across the world to him, much less not return to him. And so much of Ted’s pain is centered around being far from Henry. In a way, being a parent does really overshadow every other part of your life...some are saying Ted has gotten reduced down to just his fatherhood, but the point is that for him, and for a lot of parents, your child is your number one priority even if there’s a thousand more things on the other side of the scale. Henry needs him, and Richmond doesn’t, so there’s no way to justify the distance that Ted himself admits he keeps partly because he’s afraid of when Henry will leave him. It is beautiful that he can be confident now and take up the space he deserves in Kansas, in his son’s life. I hope Michelle gets it together, and hopefully that scene with Dr. Jacob being an asshole is what that’s about. 

I will read a hundred fics about Ted staying with Richmond to soothe the pain, and I’ve been rotating it in my mind all day. I also don’t particularly ship anyone but Roy and Jamie, so Ted’s ending isn’t about that for me. 

However, what really bugged me is that it seems like the show is treating Ted moving away to Kansas as if he will literally never talk to or see these people again, as if he didn’t involve himself with Henry’s life as much as possible from an ocean away. Why would the inverse not hold true with his other family, with his platonic soulmate and best friend(s) and pseudo child?? I am definitely buying into the dream sequence theory at the end bc otherwise that is what really pushes this into sad territory for me...why would he not be a part of those memories, those futures to come, as a friend and family member?

It seemed like the show couldn’t decide, like Ted was checked out of all of these emotional goodbyes where other people tried to tell him over and over again that they loved him and wanted him, without showing deep sadness or telling them to visit or giving a rambling Ted story. I’m hoping that’s because it’s a huge life change, but not one that moves him to sadness, because he’ll continue being there for them, and they’ll continue being there for him. 

I would have loved some reassurance though...Ted promising to call every day at Biscuits with the Boss time...Rebecca giving him a permanent airfare ticket so he can be flying in and out all the time, bringing Henry with him! Ted going to Richmond games whenever he can, Ted remembering birthdays and going to the book release and taking up space when the Higgins get everyone together. Ted showing back up with Henry, Sleepless in Seattle style, being greeted by Rebecca and the rest of the team to spend weeks and months back in his other home. Ted getting FaceTimed for advice about relationships and promotions and girl talk and the Diamond Dogs group chat and how to make a Richmond charity or women’s team or kid’s outreach program (best way to make Rebecca a mom in my opinion). Ted being a consultant bc Rebecca refuses to take him off the payroll until they win the whole thing, Ted being loved by the fans and journos even from afar, even years later. Ted being happy to be in London as a tourist with his son, with all that wonder and joy and optimism now that he can resolve the ache of both of his lives being one life! And vice versa, Rebecca and Beard constantly visiting, dragging Keeley or Roy or Nate with them, the players spending off season learning about Kansas and playing with Henry, celebrating holidays together !! The fans who now own 49% of the club being ok with some of its budget being “wasted” just making sure Ted and the team continue to be with each other in some way. Ted visiting and being greeted by all the people he talks to during his morning routine as if he never left. 

I just hope that he’s not cutting himself out of his community. It is about you, Ted. It is. 

Hope he creates a beautiful, whole life in Kansas (ideally in my mind he coaches a women’s soccer team there and then eventually moves back to Richmond to coach their women’s soccer team like years in the future, once Henry is an adult), but also continues therapy enough to know that he isn’t Mary Poppins!! He’s a Dorothy that loved Oz, he’s a Maria that deserves the Von Trapps. He’s the main character, he’s not a magical mentor type. He has immensely wealthy people who love him, he can make it work both ways. Some of the money that could have been his salary can instead be his travel and phone bill money. 

It’s a dream sequence not only because it had some truly unrealistic stuff in it (Jane and Beard getting married at Stonehenge, Rebecca meeting Dutch man despite the magic of their story being its ephemeral nature, Jamie with his dad, Trent taking out so much of Ted from the book cover/title after he said he wouldn’t change anything) but because, for me, the only part of the finale that was truly disappointing was the regression of Ted thinking he exists only to make those moments possible for others, with no place for himself within them. 

In a finale that didn’t really feel like an ending (in a good way!), where so many storylines didn’t get resolved because the point is that the characters will keep growing and changing and evolving beyond what we see of them, because now they have the tools to do that, I can’t Believe that the one hard ending we got was Ted’s life with Richmond. So I won’t.

[kyoru-shirbert]

I kinda don’t like the fact that Ted went home all alone. like I don’t even mind the Dutch man returning it’s just the fact that even Ted’s BEST FRIEND left him to go home all by himself 😭 that doesn’t sit right with me

[nymphadora7]

listen i am CLEARLY in a tedtrent mood on this day, but as a multi shipper it’s pissing me off to see so many tedtrent shippers actively hate on tedbecca instead of just. idk. not? (to be clear, ik hate goes both ways) like i get that not everyone ships tedbecca (just as not everyone ships tedtrent) but like. pls stop acting like it’s a surface level ship just bc it’s the more obvious ship. pls don’t actively ignore that tedbecca had the same hinted setup that tedtrent did. pls stop using cast interviews as fodder for your hatred. this cast/these showrunners (aside from a select few like james lance, imo) have clearly shown in the press before, during, and after this season that they do not have a good grasp on the characters they created. (it’s like they were in chekhov’s gun factory and just didn’t fire any of them. they’re just for display, we’re not actually gonna do anything with the plot points we set up or conclude any character arcs.) 

you don’t have to reach or overanalyze to find evidence that the show was laying out indicating both tedtrent and tedbecca, as romantic ships. it is not crazy to pick up what the writers were putting down while literally just watching the show. anyway, this rant happened bc i was going through the tedtrent tag, and i will probably talk more about all of these unused chekhov’s in my eventual finale rant.

[yourlocalcreativeproblem]

Okay, my prediction for the final scene of the episode:

Ted and Henry in an airport. Henry is standing on a chair and Ted's standing with an arm around him (similar to the West Ham match). The announcements on the loud speaker make it clear they're in an airport in Kansas.

Henry's smile grows and he starts bouncing a little, "there she is, Dad! I see her!"

Camera changes to show Rebecca, walking towards them from the terminal, a soft smile on her face.

Henry jumps down, running to meet her. They hug. We hear Rebecca say "I missed you, sweet boy."

Camera moves back to Ted, still standing by the chairs, hands in his pockets, a soft smile on his face.

Fade to black

[ughhhdavid]

Something something ted not being able to actually connect, something about ted always watching from the outside, something about how he could've chosen to open the door, but he left, and now everything he gave up is forever trapped behind glass

[mexicangela]

okay. so. about tedbecca.

this is long and i apologize i just have thoughts. first, the fakeout in the beginning was cruel. BUT i was willing to forgive because tbh it was kinda funny and i’m not convinced that the “morning after” tension between ted and rebecca didn’t make everyone, everyone, think for just a second that they had slept together. y’know, like, if there was never any chemistry there, why the fakeout to get tedbeccas excited/cut them down and antis worried? did the reason for ted, beard, and jane being there really make a ton of sense? no. therefore, it really does feel like it was just something they wrote in to be mean and, like. come on, guys. why be mean? second, their talk in the stands??? you gotta be fucking kidding me. rebecca welton poured her fucking soul out to ted and he didn’t have a thing to say about it other than that “i’ve already made my decision” bullshit? didn’t even offer her a hand or hug of comfort? how out of character was that? he seemed so stoic through the whole episode, like he was stunted. which, maybe has to do with his being sad about leaving but still it threw me off. jesus, talk about “subverting expectations” or whatever. also, the things rebecca was saying? “you go, i go”? the ultimatum of “either we both stay or we both leave” and then her saying they’d both go only to take it back in the end? be so fucking for real right now. the offer to pay him insane amounts of money then telling him there was really no kind of monetary compensation that could represent how much he meant to the club (and her), the proposed solution to bring his child and his child’s mother over to london for him to stay (it is one thing to offer to get henry over, but to extend the offer to michelle is something else)? those aren’t things regular old friends say/do for each other, i’m sorry. listen, i love my friends but that’s a lot to offer anyone. you really have to love someone to be willing to do all that and cry real tears while begging them to stay, to choose you, to choose the home you’ve made for yourself. third, the airport scene gutted me but AGAIN i was kind of at peace with it. it would have at least left it super open ended and allowed the fanbase to imagine what could have happened afterward, y’know. like the whole “rom-com leave-cute” thing was another mean thing to do because where was the rom or the com about that?? why do that? but like i said, i would have been at peace with it because, dear god, the way rebecca was looking at him (again, ted gave us almost nothing but whatever. not even a tear? ugh.). i mean, she was looking at him like she wanted to say “stay. choose me. choose your own happiness.” also i know she’s loaded but WHO BUYS A FIRST CLASS TICKET JUST TO GET PAST SECURITY ONLY TO SAY GOODBYE TO A GOOD PAL? doesn’t make sense to my little pea brain!!! sudeikis, make it make sense (unfortunately for me and everyone around me i still love him)! there really should have been an “i love you” and not even necessarily in a romantic way. these two are supposed to be soulmates, cosmically connected, there’s not supposed to be one without the other and all we got was…”thank you” and a head nod? like, yes, thank you. thank you for showing me warmth and kindness and grace. thank you for reminding me what my strength looks like. thank you for being there for me. yes, yes, yes, thank you! but an “i love you” really would have been wonderful and i’m actually sad they didn’t get to hear it from each other. fourth, the way nameless boat dude came back in like a fucking generic ass early disney prince was just lame. i thought it was lazy. here we have a rebecca who is devastated that this weird, funny, kindhearted american football coach who shoved himself into her life and her heart has just left to go back to kansas and this little dutch girl trips and suddenly rebecca’s found happiness? it’s frustrating. really, it is. like i’m happy rebecca has a shot at happiness and a family, but she just as well could have had it with ted, who is admittedly very similar to this dutch man. i don’t get it. this is where it well and truly lost me. fifth (this one’s a three parter, sorry), where’s ted’s happy ending? because i don’t think it’s a life of volunteering to coach children’s soccer. i know people have been implying/worrying that ted and michelle reconcile but i don’t see that happening. ted, at his core, is still the man michelle left. he’s still overly optimistic (although we didn’t see that in the finale, like what?), he’s still punny, and let’s be real, he’s still a mess. i didn’t see the resolution to his arc. in fact, returning to kansas feels like a regression. he literally ran from kansas. that’s the whole reason he went to richmond in the first place. what changed? why is he going back now? for henry, yes, of course, that’s understandable. and at the same time, within the show we’ve been shown that the bond of a father and child is not always enough to get dad to stay/be a good and decent father (i.e. ted’s father, i.e. james tartt sr., i.e. rebecca’s father). this isn’t, of course, true for ted and henry, but i think it’s a point to make concerning everyone saying things about the child-parent bond being end-all, be-all. for some people, that’s true. for others, it isn’t. it isn’t a jab at anyone or the parent-child relationship in general, it’s just the truth. this is a coin that has two sides, y’know. got off course there but anyway, henry also could have gone to london, which i think might have been the best thing for him anyway, he seemed to have a good time there and he would have had a whole band of new brothers with all the himbos. michelle isn’t a bad mother by any means, but she’s got her own shit to work through if the whole doctor jacob thing was anything to go by. i also don’t think the show did all that great of a job showing us that henry had this super deep connection with his dad, but maybe that was just me lol. regardless, i still understood the bond and its importance and of course ted wanted to be there for his child. that part does make sense. the way it was gone about felt like a disservice though. ted’s expression at the end there doesn’t scream happy. he looked rather sad to me, like something was weighing on him still. and i’m sure there was. i don’t think he’s at peace with himself yet, or happy. maybe he’ll get happy in kansas. i hope he does. but getting to see rebecca’s “happily ever after” and not ted’s hurt my heart. guess i was hoping they would actually subvert the expectations and have him stay in the home he’d made for himself instead of going back to the place where he lost so much. why did he have to give up his found family and the job he loved (and was still actively learning about!! offsides!!) and the best friend he made and the support system he found (which, no matter your age or your progress, you always need a support system) and the community that had come to love him andandand- all ted did was sacrifice to make other people happy and better and this feels like another sacrifice because his mom guilt tripped him by saying something he already fucking knew (sorry i’m not a fan of dottie). i just don’t get it. how is his happy ending going back to the root of all his problems and staying there? just sucks, really, even if it was always the obvious outcome. sixth, i’m just mad all the signs lead to nowhere. the matchboxes, the army man, the bantr fakeout (will never, ever be over this one), the hotel room fakeout where they cut from rebecca to ted in the room and then he opens the door and it’s sassy, the romcommunism, the soulmatism. it wasn’t all for nothing, of course. their friendship is so important and i love it, but this ending felt like a big fuck you to it too because ted was so…distant. it almost felt like he didn’t care that much that he was leaving rebecca and it makes me super upset. all of this is based on the one-time watch from last night but tbh i don’t know if i can handle watching the episode again right now. it really did hurt, especially the way rebecca looked at him at the airport. tbh nothing can convince me she wasn’t at least a little bit in love with him. and, yes, i know. henry is ted’s everything and that’s so admirable and it’s not all about romance, and it’s not. but just let me believe what i want to believe. let me find the joys in the media i consume and if it’s the hope that two attractive, single, middle aged leads could have gotten with each other in the end and figured out how to be happy together, then so be it. i just hate seeing the hate from all sides, honestly, and a lot of people are legitimately really mean about it when this show is all about being kind. ted lasso is a beautiful series and, at the end of the day, it’s just another piece of media that the audience is free to interpret and pick apart however they want to. me, personally? i will continue to live in my delusional little world where ted and rebecca figure out that they belong together/i will pretend the last 10 minutes of the finale didn’t happen. thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[tomlinfonda]

The camera focusing on Jamie just as Beard says "central cog"... YEAH...

[bloodurged]

I don’t care what the canon says, I’m a firm “reading trent’s book gave ted a panic attack, not one weak chuckle” supporter.

[leodorethasso]

as a show ted lasso made me cry. a lot. i’m not a cry over tv shows kinda person. and rewatching most of the episodes doesn’t make me cry. but 3x09 will ALWAYS get me. i love colin and isaac so much. the “you can’t say it can you?” and “no. but you know i do.” fucking sobbing.

[ejzah]

I like that Trent basically finished his book, but is still hanging around.

[catalvarezs]

oh god oh god ted telling trent to not be the 'laugh police', telling him to back off, telling him their chats are over, telling him he's leaving and trent interpreting it as exactly this i don't know what to call the finale if not a tragedy

[goodomensguy]

So I know we all saw Colin having the believ sign fragment in his shin gaurd (EW) but did anyone else catch Richard having it in the supermodel Beach bottle?

[nigellica]

Look, I think they got a lot wrong but they also got a lot right. I might be in the minority but I love that Rebecca found her boatguy, because it feels like one of the first times she's ever been able to be happy and be herself.

I know I'm kidding myself, but I would still like another season, where they all help Ted when he realises what he thought was his happy ending isn't. Where they bring him back to coach the women's team while the lads keep on with the men's.

Sometimes you just need time to realise what you thought you wanted, is not what you actually want.

So unless we hear anything further, I'm going to assume the dreamlike quality is either because it was a fever dream, or because it was all filmed by Ted on his new camera for his new hobby that he's not the best at just yet. Which is why he isn't in a single shot.

I'm also not mad about the lack of romantic endings (even if I wanted TedTrent, and it was messed up how they teased the TedBeccas), but I am a little unhappy about Beard and Jane.

Just gonna be making up my own, less nebulous endings.

[rosietherivendell]

Thinking about how in season 1 when Henry and Michelle come to visit Ted for the first time he's so happy to see them that he runs down the whole pitch to see them and they just stand there and he gets to them all out of breath and says "I kinda thought y'all would meet me halfway but hey that's alright!" just thinking about that and how they made sure to make so many callbacks to early episodes to show character growth and yet they still weren't even waiting for Ted at the airport

[m-a-salter]

Had a Ted Lasso thought; below the cut.

Rebecca's idea--that she could pay for Michelle and Henry to move to London to facilitate Ted's staying with the club--was never reasonable. Michelle and Henry are both whole people, with existing lives in Kansas, not just accessories to Ted. It is hard to imagine Michele especially wanting to be kept like a pet by the super-wealthy best friend of her ex-husband whom she barely knows.

Money has never been the thing keeping Michelle and Henry from England--Ted has had plenty of money all this time. The lowest paid Premier League managers get £1m a year, and the highest get fifteen or twenty times that. Ted has no car and lives in a tiny flat; sneakers are his only indulgence. He has always had plenty of money to do himself what Rebecca proposes.

Deep down, Rebecca knows that it is an unreasonable proposal, that Ted's choice is both constrained by the other members of his family and grounded in his psychology more than in these practicalities, and that is why she so quickly understands and accepts his unspoken rejection of the proposal as they sit in the stands.

Would I have preferred it if Michelle had dumped the unethical, joyless Dr. Jacob and decided on her own to move herself and Henry to London? Yes, of course. But I don't think there is some big gaping mystery as to why Ted didn't accept Rebecca's offer.