#ten x prem

[gunsatthaphan]

times change but people offgun don't 🥲

[heretherebedork]

They really are just the cutest and all those hugs and kisses made everything so good. Truly 10/10 sweetness.

[kexing]

COOKING CRUSH || EPISODE 1

[benzatthanin]

COOKING CRUSH Dish 1: Tom Kha Gai Brings You to Me

[raypakorn]

GUN ATTHAPHAN as PREM & OFF JUMPOL as TEN

in ep. 1 of Cooking Crush (2023)

[spicypussywave]

"Does my pose look ugly?" "It does not. It's kind of cute actually."

[respectthepetty]

I haven't really written a lot about it, but I love the color coding in Cooking Crush.

It's delicious.

Because it's different.

I love that Ten, the neutral Blue Boy, is the flirty one.

He always makes it clear that he is attracted to Prem whenever he has the chance.

While Prem, the colorful character, who tends to wear more pink, is the one stunned into silence each time.

Which even though the colors were still present, their personalities have evolved since their childhood.

It's been clear from the beginning that Ten likes Prem, a lot, like with all the hearts appearing in the background and what not.

And even though Ten doesn't like touch at the beginning, he is the more open one as Prem is a bit more guarded.

But once Ten gets a taste of Prem's magic touch, he tends to initiate it.

In all sorts of ways.

And Ten's imagination conjures up scenes of Prem bathing him in vegetables,

Prem telling Ten to eat him,

and them spending a lifetime together.

Normally quiet, reserved, and passive Blue Boys carry their crushes and feelings around forever without uttering a word.

But homeboy is staying up late and getting up early just so he can make sure to tell Prem he likes him in all the ways he can think of.

So even though Prem has worn blue before, I liked in episode nine that he wore blue as he continued to mess up probably because he had Ten on his mind.

Just like he has before when he wears it.

Like when he started to realize he actually liked his Blue Boy doc.

Basically, I'm just really proud of this neutral Blue Boy for being openly horny on main for Prem and being a quick learner because like most Blue Boys, he stays committed to loving his guy by any means possible.

It's this Blue Boy's dedication to being unapologetic and unabashed about his attraction to Prem that I love.

It's been a while since I had one of those.

[neuroticbookworm]

Oh I was so nervous when Ten's dad showed up wanting to talk to Prem's Grandma.

I was worried that he knew Ten was still taking cooking classes from Prem and wanted to stop that, but no. He'd seen Prem and Ten kiss in front of his house and had drawn a conclusion that Prem was distracting Ten from his med school grades.

I audibly groaned, because this is a solid approach to convince Asian parents that their children are not only messing up their life, they're also dragging other children down with them. *le gasp*

But oh my god, GRANDMA CAME THROUGH. There was something so delicately Asian about the advice she gave Prem: "If you like him, go for it! Keep dating him on the down low, don't let his father know. But make sure to tell your man not to let his relationship mess with his studies"

My heart is so full. Hiding a romantic relationship from strict parents is almost a rite of passage for Asian kids. Grandma guiding Prem (and Ten) to hide their relationship from Ten's dad, validates the decision as CORRECT and PRACTICAL, rather than a reckless behavior of the youth. If your children are hiding their relationship from you? You're the problem.

But wait! She was not done yet! She also made sure to impress on Prem that Ten should not be distracted in his studies because of their relationship. And then tells him to tell Ten to not let the relationship distract him. The responsibility primarily lies on Ten, while Prem supports Ten in achieving his goals. She is succinct. She is happy for her grandson. She is so progressive. And she is so Asian.

Oh Grandma. YOU'RE THE COOLEST!

[singularityinthemirror]

'' What are you?

An idiot sandwich ''

[kaszanka1726]

Man, with karan, tenprem and mhok gmmtv really do be feeding us green flags this december

[gunsatthaphan]

"I don't think this spot is safe."

[waitmyturtles]

Jumping into the Cooking Crush familial fray...

I've lately been a bit behind on all my dramas, but I did see percolating over the weekend a great conversation among drama friends and fiends about interpretations of Asian parenting tactics, family values, interfamily communication, and intergenerational trauma regarding Cooking Crush.

This past weekend's episode 11 seemed to bring up a lot. I feel like one of my Reasons for Being on Tumblr is to share thoughts on Asian family dynamics, structures, and tensions regarding our beloved Asian dramas, so I am simply going to add a few extra thoughts to @neuroticbookworm's absolutely FANTASTIC post here that meditates on the ongoing conflict between Ten and his father.

Before I jump into NBW's amazing post, I want to linky-poo some previous writing that I've done on Asian cultural touchpoints in other shows:

Poor Bad Buddy got the Asian analytical treatment here and here

Only Friends and Mew's lesbian moms being Asian moms first, here

A meditation specifically on BBS's Dissaya and saving face, here (which, in regards to her conflict with Ming, we should note, directly led to her literally sending her son physically away from her to continue the family feud)

When I watch our beloved Asian shows, as an Asian-American, I am clicking unconsciously into certain assumptions about how Asian parents and children WILL behave when parents are called for in a show (I emphasized this specifically in my OF piece about Mew's moms). I expect there to be either filial piety present, or struggles with it. I expect to see elder hierarchy and/or issues with elder respect. I expect to see issues regarding saving face. I expect to see issues regarding conditional love, and how a child should act so a parent may boast and/or save face with their external social circles. I expect to see issues regarding independence and parental control over... just about everything in a child's life, from their education to their partners. (Think of King's parents in Bed Friend, and how his parents were ready to arrange a marriage for him; Tian's parents sending him to America in A Tale of Thousand Stars, etc.)

Shows that DON'T deal with these issues -- shows that have wonderfully understanding parents, like Thun's mom in He's Coming To Me, and Pete's dad in Dark Blue Kiss, are also realistic, because of course, nothing is universal, and there are understanding and unconditionally loving parents in every culture.

But most of the Asian shows that we watch have themes like filial piety and elder respect/control present, and it's up to the show's writers to figure out how these elements play into the plots that they're writing.

Through @neuroticbookworm's post, I see that some in the Cooking Crush fandom are calling for Ten's dad to apologize for his hypocrisy in calling Ten out for hitting Chang Ma, while we have seen Ten's dad slapping Ten.

I want to get into how Ten engages with his father in a second, because it's pretty rare in Asian shows to see a child so directly combative, so consistently, with a parent figure. But before that, NBW makes an excellent point with the following:

But, I understand it when my friends, and Asian characters in TV shows, don’t want to force things out in the open if it can be swept under the rug for the time being, because peace of mind in Asian households is fleeting and you would be wise to take what you get.

This is a very important point that those of us in the social services are hammered with -- in other words, how do individuals, as they are growing up, adjust their behaviors to keep the stability of their family bonds either strong, or at least not weak enough to break? How does a child learn to adapt and/or cope for the sake of the other older individuals in their families who DEMAND compliance with their own emotional needs?

Ten has a combative relationship with his father -- but he's still done everything his father has asked for, save for staying away from Prem. As @respectthepetty previously noted, Fire becomes submissive around pressure and high-tension individuals and situations -- because that's how he's learn to cope vis à vis his mother and his upbringing.

This framing -- these specific, generational, tension-informed family dynamics that we see ad nauseam in Asian dramas -- do not lead to an automatic assumption among Asian audiences that apologies would emanate from the parental generation. Especially because the previous generational paradigm is that children have and should go along with the flow of parental control and demands -- as Ten and Fire have so far done.

In Asian collectivist societies and mentalities -- to combat against that flow of control would lead to a breaking of the peace among the family unit, in NBW's words.

I would even go so far as to say that an apology from a parent is as much of a fictional ending fantasy as a perfect romantic ending. And damn, what we have to go through to get an apology. NBW brought up Double Savage, which was so awfully messy -- we got a parental apology only after a not-at-fault child had to unnecessarily apologize first. The show made the children work beyond basic emotional ethics to get that parental apology. That's how rare it is for us Asians to expect a parent to apologize. (And NBW notes so beautifully that even showmakers themselves may not know how to write apologies -- because they themselves may have never received one in real life.)

Considering all these family dynamics and tensions, getting a 180-degree admission of wrongdoing from an Asian parent is rare. And part of the fabric of the lives of us Asians is in sharing stories with our communities about the tensions, the trauma, the misunderstandings that we've faced from our families to be perfect and obedient in all aspects of our lives, as NBW so eloquently says about her country's culture, which includes tremendous control over the sexual lives of children. That's why I go to Asian shows over Western media -- so that I can experience some of that communing over commonalities in fiction.

I want to make one final quick point about Ten's behavior towards his dad, which we see is abrupt and combative. Ten's got some gumption to talk to his father like that, which, me likey, but it's rare to see in Asian shows. Of utmost importance to note is that their history is marked by a severely traumatic event in the death of Ten's mom, which is guaranteed to have had a lifelong impact on the bond between Ten and his dad, and colors their relationship. I know that's obvious by way of the dialogue, but what we see in this outburst is a kind of marked ending to a journey map of his life's experience that got him to the point of the fight. (@neuroticbookworm, I'm stealing your screenshots, thank yew, friend!)

This fight had A LOT IN IT. It was about saving face, about the embarrassment that Ten's dad knows the slapping event will cause on Ten and Ten's friends (and, frankly, Ten's dad himself). It was about Ten's childhood trauma in losing his mother and his anger with his father for his father's actions. It was a revelation that Ten's dad had actually acted, in his own way, and failed at saving Ten's mom. It was about Ten's performance in school, and how Ten says that he has indeed been keeping up with his father's standards. And a whole lot more.

I'm betting money on at least some people -- maybe many people -- in Asian audiences watching this and being critical of Ten for being so combative to his father, his father being Ten's provider for education and money. THIS CRITICISM IS VERY COMMON.

While Western fandoms may celebrate performances of individualism and confrontation, many in Asian audiences will not agree with that. They will see Ten being disrespectful to a parental figure that, in our cultural mores, would arguably automatically demand respect from the start through our notions of elder respect and hierarchy.

This is, in part, because many Asians see going against the flow of familial peace as disruptive. And, anthropologically -- who are we in the West to judge that?

That's why this scene is SO FUCKING HUGE. As an American, I'm like, fuck yeah, read this fucking dad out for filth. As an Asian, I'm like, WHOAAAAAAAAAA. For real.

AND? THE ENDING of this fight -- with Ten's dad making one actually good point about how Ten's punch will affect his friends?

That's collectivism again. That's Ten's dad helping Ten to grow in that moment and recognize that Ten's actions affect other people. That shit is complicated, and I believe it's 100% intended to be complicated.

The dad is still clearly a hypocrite. I do not think that we get that entire fight scene without the show commenting on Ten's dad's hypocrisy that one's actions have impacts on others. Ten's dad is not clicked into his own collectivism, and I believe the show calls him out for it. If that scene only wanted to call out Ten -- we would have only seen that last part about Prem and Prem's friends. We would not have gotten all that other backstory, all the threads in this incredible fight scene.

It was a hell of a well-done scene. And I very much believe that scene is symbolic of this entire show -- marketed as a comedy, friends! -- being insidiously about very complicated family bonds, and depicting the struggles of these bonds just brilliantly.

This show is DIGGING THE HELL into the family backgrounds of characters experiencing tremendous life changes -- including MEDICAL STUDENTS! THE CREAM OF THE CROP FOR ASIAN PARENTS! -- and showing how these pressures can make young adults crumble or resilient.

I didn't mean to write so long, but alas -- y'all talk about Asian families, and I gotta yap. Thank you for letting me throw some coins in the pot, and to offer some thoughts about what us Asians are clicking into in our beloved Asian shows.

Tagging @lurkingshan, @bengiyo, @respectthepetty, @heretherebedork, and @williamrikers for enlightening convos this weekend, and many thanks to my dear Asian friendo @neuroticbookworm for one hell of a meditation that I enjoyed and related to deeply.

[heretherebedork]

Ten's level of bitch has risen to 900 and is showing no signs of stopping and I love him.

[brother-lipsmackariah]

Ten this episode:

[kolaicendionysos]

my romeo and juliet.

[raypakorn]

What's wrong with this guy?