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danwetzelsports · 7 years

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As this blog has long noted I travel a lot for work. I’ve flown over one million miles on Delta/Northwest and who knows how many more on airlines ranging from Southwest to an operation known as Aeroflot.

I’ve taken domestic flights inside some edge-of-proper-society-places such as China, Russia, South Africa, Brazil and Louisiana. Other than the obvious similarities between our looks, I am not George Clooney from that movie, but I’ve seen a thing or two.

And here is what I know: Not to defend United for dragging that guy off the plane, but generally the biggest problem when it comes to flying is not the airlines but my fellow passengers.

I don’t know all the details and don’t care for all the details but clearly United messed up. If you need seats on a full flight you have to keep raising your bump compensation until someone takes it. That’s the way to deal with this.

But in defense of airlines, we can walk back the rest.

Just briefly: overbooking isn’t a bad thing. It’s a good thing. Good for the airlines who can maximize profits by accounting for the number of people who miss flights, fly stand by earlier or later or cancel at the last moment. And good for passengers because that allows flight prices to remain lower than they otherwise would and gets as many people on a plane (and thus across a day) as possible. Also, you can score some sweet credits if you volunteer.

Airlines are terrible at lots of things. Believe me. I’ve been taken off flights. I’ve been put on flights to unnecessary connecting airports. I’ve been stranded overnight. I’ve had long set plans ruined. It’s brutal.

Ninety-plus percent of the time however I’ve climbed in a tin can in one city/country and landed on time or earlier in another. It’s amazing. Lewis And Clark was two hundred years ago.

The United thing was extreme. Poor work by the airline, but when three cops come and tell you to move out of your seat, you should really move out of your seat. It’s not going to end well and an airline seat is hardly the hill you want to get roughed up on. Go protest something important.

On Wednesday April 5, Delta was dealing with heavy storms and everything was a mess in Augusta, Ga. The little airport was packed with beaten-down travelers. Luckily they called my flight we all boarded the plane. Then we sat on the tarmac for an hour before being told told we all needed to get off.

The entire plane – every passenger – peacefully exited only to have Delta give our plane to another flight. We had to watched a couple hundred other people take our seat. They soon departed for Atlanta instead of us. Our flight never left. Cancelled for good.

It sucked but no police were needed. Everyone listened to the flight attendant.

I appreciated that because it’s usually an idiot passenger causing all the problems, not the stressed-out, under-paid, no-good-option flight attendant or gate agent.

Here are my five worst people on a plane (in no particular order and I’m not even getting to the obvious ones such as belligerent drunks or barking dogs – no dogs should be allowed in the damn main cabin, by the way).

1. Starbucks Lady

It’s a 6:30 a.m. cross-country flight and you felt the need to get a Venti double Frappuccino or whatever that creation is? Not only are you going to spend the first hour of the flight sucking loudly through a straw, but that creation has enough caffeine and sugar to drop a horse. Look lady, no one is asking you to fly the plane. Exactly how alert do you need to be?

You want to know how to make air travel better? Go to sleep. Flight goes faster, you don’t need to be entertained, you can ignore the other passengers and you catch up on some rest (fitful, but whatever). Don’t tell me you can’t sleep on planes between a gargle of Starbucks. You have to have a plan – turn off electronics, read a book, avoid stimulants. It isn’t hard. I feel for like 6-foot-10 guys, but you aren’t that.

Don’t book a window seat, drink a massive coffee and then wonder why you are as fidgety as a kindergartener, unable to sleep and have to get up three times to go to the bathroom – thus bothering the rest of us.

2. Big bag guy

It ain’t going to fit, buddy. Maybe it’s compensating for other parts of their life. Maybe they just really think they are going to get over on the airline for that $25 baggage fee. Whatever it is, that massive roller isn’t getting into the tiny overheard compartment.

These guys are the worst. They push and slam and bitch and moan. The people already seated below them are panicked and jostled. Some properly sized bag is inevitably getting crushed up there.

The guy gets angrier and angrier as he tries to defy the laws of physical space. Soon he’s regaling everyone about that time the airline lost his luggage in Albuquerque – cry me a river, we’re not on your side.

Then the poor flight attendant has to come by and tell him he needs to check it (for free) and he gets mad at them. Everyone’s stress goes up. Look, pay the fee or pack less. It’s simple. How much crap you need for this weekend in Erie?

The baggage fee thing is horrible but they have to do it because all you fools will only pay for the cheapest flight that comes up on Expedia. Then you complain when the flight isn’t luxurious like it supposedly used to in the Mad Men days or something. It’s like someone buying a Chevy Spark and then bitching it isn’t as roomy as a Cadillac Escalade.

3. Idiot/Patriot in the TSA line

You know these people are there to stop us from getting blown up, right? Imperfect system but it’s the best we’ve got.

So, can you please pay attention? September 11 was over a decade and a half ago … the freakin’ laptop has to come out of the bag. Yes, a cell phone is a metal item. And actually I am not surprised that your oversized belt buckle caused the x-ray to ping. It’s not shocking at all.

This isn’t that hard. Follow the stupid rules. You’re slowing up the line because you are a clown.

The only people worse are the ones who believe the TSA is infringing on their Constitutional rights with that there new-fangled body scanner or a pat down or merely existing. What, you think I’m a terrorist? Look, if you’re that into your privacy, then cool. Just find a better way to get the woods of Idaho.

Twitter follower @FakeKevinKugler added a subset to this: the person who was sent to TSA PreCheck but decides to clog everything up by stripping down anyway. You undeservedly reached the promised land and this is how you act? Pay attention.

4. Burrito Bowl Dude

Tight connections and long trips can mean there is limited time to get a meal at the airport. And we know you aren’t getting anything substantive in coach. So people bring food on the plane.

Here’s a tip. Maybe on those days, you just have a protein bar. Or eat right away as you wait for everyone else to board. Not these people. They have to bring an elaborate, often sloppy meal, let it sit in a bag for an hour stinking up the place and then pull it out and try to spread out.

There’s usually some assembly required, some salsa to pour over, some Sriracha or salad dressing. Then a knife and fork come out. You need the dexterity of Houdini to eat this thing in such a small space so rice or lettuce is inevitably flying everywhere and chicken is spilling and it’s a massive mess.

You’re bothering me now. I don’t care if it’s good.

5. Drink Cart Enthusiast

They need to get rid of the drink cart on all flights under like two hours. It’s a rolling debacle. If you are so desperate for hydration or a tiny snack then buy your own.

Yet they pull that thing out and people act like dogs that just saw their master walk in with the treat jar. You’ve never had a Diet Coke before? A package of five to six pretzels? I have had people wake me up to let me know the drink cart is here so I wouldn’t miss out.

The drink cart blocks the aisle, slams knees and elbows and generally only gives the customers something else to bitch about because they didn’t get the whole can or found the peanuts an unsatisfying meal. You know, back in the day they used to carve up steak. Yeah, well, back in the day flights cost a thousand bucks and planes crashed all the time.

I once had a 37-minute flight to Indianapolis delayed for 1:45 because “catering” needed to restock the drink cart. That means we could have flown to Indy, deplaned, slammed a beer at the airport bar, reboarded and returned.

BONUS: 5A Delusions of Grandeur Guy in 38B

Many Twitter followers mentioned this one. You’re way in the back of the plane yet somehow believe once the plane arrives at its destination and pulls up to the skybridge that you’ll somehow beat the crowd and race off the plane first. I get the desperation to make a connecting flight, but it isn’t happening. Usain Bolt couldn’t charge the aisle fast enough to make it. Accept reality and wait your turn.

BONUS: 5B Boarding Group ZZ Gate Blockers

More Twitter recommendations. They have a process to get on the plane. The Diamond Medallion and First Class people go first. Deal with it. If you find yourself in Group 7 or whatever, get the hell out of the way. Standing in front of the little ropes that lead to the ticket scanning machine when you aren’t getting on for the next 20 minutes assures only one thing, it will take even longer to get on.

This is a partial list. In summary, as much as I sometimes hate airline bureaucracy, I hate you people even more.

And don’t lean your seat back.

#terriblepeople

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willowkitt-blog · 8 years

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We don’t talk anymore.

We text. Occasionally we Facebook chat.

But its not really a conversation when the flow is so one sided that I know we can both feel the eeriness through the wavelengths of the SMSC towers.

When I give advise but am met with frustration. And I understand.. only I don’t.

When “I’m alive,” is the only response I ever receive.

I wrote you a poem, you know. It’s not worth sharing, as we can both say that I’m not good at this sort of art - the sort where you spill your soul onto paper or into chords. You were always so good at that. So good at speaking your mind and creating metaphors so beautiful or brutal that I swear they could change the world. You have so much potential brewing inside of your hot belly that it hurts to watch you waste away in your own mind.

I cried for you, when I knew no one was looking at me. In the depths of the darkest nights, after work or after fucking or after thinking just that little bit too much that it was enough to break me in the shower, until I was biting my knees and drowning in the memories of you. The water is salt and I am a desert. You’re bleeding me dry with each attempt I give to stomach your lifestyle.

I think it’s good we don’t talk anymore. All I want to say is that you’re not trying but I know that is the furtherest from the truth that anything could be. You’re trying so hard to stay together that it’s breaking you down cell by cell.

I have a theory that if you feel like a terrible person, then you probably aren’t. You have done something terrible, but that does not make you inherently bad. Terrible people don’t resonate with the consequences of committing something terrible, which I believe is why they never change. People don’t change for the good, they change for themselves and tell everyone they’re the same person you knew 4 years ago. I’m a terrible person, not because I feel like I am, but because I feel like I am not.

#love #heartbreak #movingon #relationship #terriblepeople

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mymetric360 · 10 months

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Who's the worst person you'd want to have sex with?

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myrawrmily-blog · 6 years

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Triggered.

Bean and I have a mutual friend, we’re going to call her Tessa (that’s actually her dog’s name but ever other name I could think of was terribly mean.) and Tessa is… something.

Tessa is married to her husband Navi (another dog name… I’m going with it now…) and Navi is a great guy. I enjoy spending time with Navi more than Tessa to tell you the truth. Tessa, well she just angers me like no one else I know. Tessa is one of those people who thinks they have the hardest life ever and so therefore the deserve to have everyone around them bend backwards to help them out.

Tessa doesn’t have the hardest life ever. Does she have struggles, sure! Who doesn’t? But does Tessa cause most of her own struggles herself? You bet your bottom dollar she does!

Example 1: When Nave and Tessa were in their first year of marriage they lived really close to Hubby and I, so we would see them a few times a month and do group hang outs. I also went over often to help Tessa with different things (they bought a new couch and needed help getting it in, Tessa’s car shut down and she needed a boost, they would go away for the weekend and I would look after the dogs, etc.) Then Navi and Tessa decided to move.

Well, to be more accurate, Tessa decided they needed to own a home and Navi needed to make that happen. This meant that Navi ended up working full time in a manual labor job (because it paid super well) and part time at a desk job (which didn’t pay as well but was flexible and would work around his labor job) and Tessa worked… part time… seasonally.

Now, I know some couples work this way, the wife doesn’t do much work and the husband brings home the bacon. I know this because Momma and Poppa are those people and have been my whole life. However, I also know Navi and know this wasn’t exactly what he signed up for when he said, “I do.” He has never complained to me, but the poor guy is perma-exhausted and does his best not to show it.

The worst part of this arrangement was how ungrateful Tessa was! If I didn’t know Navi before they were married and had only heard about him through Tessa, I would assume he was the worst. She talks about him like he’s an idiot who barely lifts a finger. She must clean the whole house herself, he leaves dishes in the sink and she must fight with him to get help with the housework. She walks the dog all by herself every day, and he is never home to spend time with her.

I want to slap her when she complains about this.

You can’t ask your husband to pay for a house by himself (fresh out of college too btw) and then complain that he’s out working and never home! That is completely unfair to him! The expectation that he should be able to work like her Daddy does and get paid large amounts of money for little work is unrealistic. Your dad has been working his whole life at the same job, so he’s making double (if not triple) the wages of someone who has just started! That’s how the workforce functions.

I also can’t handle how she talks about him when he is around. I have heard her say, “Well, if you can’t remember to feed the snake (oh ya, they have a snake too…) you are going to be a terrible father.” Talk about a low blow! The guy is working a job and a half for you and barely has time at home, let alone time to take care of the many animals you insist on owning and he is going to be the terrible parent??

I think this bothers me so much because I feel like Navi deserves better. He is a guy who is just trying to do his best to provide for his insane wife’s demands and she still can’t say “thank-you” or “I appreciate your efforts” or anything like that. She still complains and wants more.

Sometimes I think Navi needs to toughen up a little and tell Tessa to cut it out, but that probably wouldn’t go well. They’re in this pattern now, were Tessa tells Navi what to do and he does it because they’re married and that’s his role. It frustrated me as someone who’s also married, because that’s not how I would participate in my marriage, but also because I can see this exploding in a few years.

Navi will have had enough and will blow up, and for Tessa it will seem like it’s come out of nowhere even thought she has been planting these seeds for years. To work it out will take years of work because even now (like 4 years after their wedding) they have so many built up issues.

Tessa also likes to rope me into her complaints because I am married too. She’ll say things like, “Navi left in a mood this morning. You know how husbands get like that? He just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I guess. I asked him to do one simple thing because he hasn’t helped all week and he just grumbled at me and left for work. Does Hubby ever do that to you?” and usually I just say, “Nope.” Or don’t even answer (she’ll just keep going if you don’t say anything for long enough) because I want to yell at her and tell her to leave the poor guy alone and not be so terrible to him all the time.

It just makes me sad because I know how awesome and uplifting a good relationship can be and how depressing a bad one is.

No one likes seeing someone in a bad relationship, especially when they’re making it worse.

#terriblepeople #worst #rant #marriage

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