#thank god for having a boyfriend bc he gave me money and bought me dinner also but im so stressed OUTTTT

[cirillafionaelenriannon]

me when I only had 46 dollars in my account until spotify charged me 12 dollars and then discord charged me 9 dollars then paramount 9 dollars and then I remembered I got locked out of my Amazon account and they're going to charge me 22 dollars for a subscription I can't cancel and I don't even have the money for it

[quitetommy]

i’ve got nothing left for you (tom holland)

hi friends!!! this is my first imagine one here, so expect many more to come, and i hope u enjoy!! also, requests are totally open. (:

warning; emotional abuse (sorta)

(also also also, listen to the song 'nothing left for you' by sam smith bc this is based off that song)

The 20 year old sighed and pulled her hood over her head. For two reasons, one because she didn't want to be seen by any of her current boyfriend's fans or the paparazzi. Dating Tom Holland had its perks, like being pampered 25/8 or having the privilege of loving him one day. But it also had its faults, like being followed around and harrassed. The second reason was because it was raining and she was already cold and didn't want to be even more freezing. It was around 3:30, she saw once she checked her watch. She had just left her therapy and was supposed to meet Tom around the corner in his car.

Why was Y/N in therapy? Oh, ask her piece of shit ex-boyfriend. Long story short, he emotionally abused her for years. Yeah, years. The two had been dating for 6 years before Tom finally made her end it. Thank God, too. After she was out of the horrible living situation, she quickly came to the realization that it could've become much, much worse if not for Tom. She was lucky to have him. She was even luckier when one year later Tom asked her out on a date. Y/N figured there was no one better for her than Tom, 'cause it's not like she had to explain her situation to him, or why she was weird in some situations, or why she went to therapy every week. He was there for it all, he knew everything and that lifted a weight off Y/N's shoulders.

Maybe I'm done. Maybe it's true. Maybe I had one chance and I lost it with you. We fell so hard with nothing to lose. I'll never love again I'll never love you.

Once she reached the car, she quickly jumped in and pressed her lips to her boyfriend's. He smiled softly at her and turned the radio down before turning the car over. "Hey, darling. How was it?"

She loved that about him. He was always looking out for her. He really cared, unlike him— her ex. The bane of both their existences. She shrugged and buckled herself in, "It was good, I guess. I-I just feel like you're wasting your money." Y/N frowned, looking out into the rainy London pass by.

Tom furrowed his eyebrows as he stopped at the red light, "What do you mean? If it's helping how would I be wasting our money."

Y/N was not rich by any means. Not since her ex basically took all her money. He had made her pay for everything. And not that Y/N minded, because she had been independent since a young age, but it was more of a burden than anything. Especially when he spent all her hard earned money on stupid things, like booze or fast food, or unnecessary dinners with "friends". So, when Tom and Y/N got together she was surprised that he wanted to help pay. She was surprised when he wanted to do many things- it was just something she needed to get used to. The graciousness that is Tom Holland, that is. She remembers when Tom offered to pay for her therapy. It was on a day like today. He had picked her up and she had moaned and groaned about how expensive it was getting and he immediately asked, begged practically, to pay for it. But of course, Y/N wasn't trying to get him to pay. She was just blowing off some steam, so she tried and tried to let him not pay. But eventually it got to be too much and they had to combine their cash income. Not that either one of them minded.

'Cause I gave my heart to a goddamn fool. I gave him everything. Now there's nothing left for you 'Cause I gave (I gave) My heart (my heart) To a goddamn fool. I lost everything. Now I have nothing left for you. I have nothing left for you.

"Hmm?" Tom asked again, she had zoned off. She did that a lot, Tom noticed. He guessed it was just her PTSD she acquired from her previous life.

"I-I don't know," Y/N fumbled with her fingers, not making eye contact. "I just feel like we are going in circles."

Tom turned his blinker on, turning onto a street, "It's not helping anymore?"

She shrugged again and sighed, "We've just leveled out. . . I'm sorry."

Tom sighed but didn't answer. He wanted to, he just didn't know what to say. So he said that.

"I don't know what to say." Tom pulled into a driveway. One that wasn't theirs. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows but didn't question it.

"Yeah," She breathed out, "Yeah, I know. I-I just—"

"Love, I want you to get better and if this isn't working anymore, then we'll figure it out. You being whole again is my main priority." He said and brought her hand to his mouth, softly kissing it. She finally met his eyes and smiled softly. She almost said it right there, right then. She almost told him she loved him, but she didn't. She didn't want to ruin things. So, she kept quiet.

I can't pretend pretend that I care. I see how you look at me. But I am not there, the damage is done. I'll save you the time and if there are feelings there they are not mine.

Before Y/N could process what was happening, Harrison and Harry were running towards the car. Y/N was beyond confused. The two men hopped in the car, saying their hellos. Y/N pulled herself together, "Hey guys. Who's house is this?"

Harry smiled, "Mine! Just bought it yesterday. I'm surprised Tom didn't tell you. Trust me, Y/N, you've got him whipped beyond repair."

Y/N giggled at the younger Holland boy. Tom's cheeks turned pink slightly, he glared at his brother in the rear view mirror. "Hey now, just because I love my girlfriend doesn't mean I'm whipped."

Harry and Harrison both started to laugh then looked to the former's phone, laughing again at something. But Y/N didn't care. She was in shock. Tom had just confessed his love for her. He didn't seem to notice either. He just continued to drive like nothing happned. But something had. Y/N was quiet again and Tom noticed, putting his hand on her leg. "You okay?" He questioned quietly, eyeing her.

She gave him a weak smile and nodded, barely. She just sat, lost in her own mind as Tom and his family laughed and joked with each other, driving back to Tom and Y/N's home. The only thing that was occupying Y/N's mind was terrible, horrible lies. And she couldn't do anything to stop them. She wasn't even sure what was real or not real.

He doesn't love you, It said. And again, It's not real. He just pities you. He's not in love with you. Don't fall for it.

And again, and again and again. And until they were alone in their bed, falling asleep in each other's arms.

'Cause I gave (I gave) My heart (my heart) To a goddamn fool I gave him everything. Now there's nothing left for you 'Cause I gave (I gave) My heart (my heart) To a goddamn fool. I lost everything. And I have nothing left for you. Oh, I have nothing left for you.

"Y/N, is everything okay?" Tom asked, rubbing her back and playing with her hair. Y/N's head was on his chest, her eyes barely open and her mind hardly awake.

"Hmm?" Her eyes opened just a bit, but she didn't move. Tom sighed and Y/N felt like she needed to be fully awake for this conversation. It was going to get bad. She sat up, so did Tom. Their backs were against the headboard, while Tom kept his eyes on her and she kept her gaze on her lap.

"What's bothering you?" He asked, genuinely concerned. He was worried he had done something wrong. "Have I done something wrong? You've been off ever since therapy today. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you usually bounce back after about an hour."

"No. No, you're right." She nodded. She still kept her eyes on her lap, "It's just what you said earlier. . ." Tom furrowed his eyebrows, "What did I say— Oh no, when I told them that you sleep in your slippers? Love, we were just teasing you."

"No, Tom!" Y/N finally snapped. She didn't care that Harry and Haz were teasing her about her slippers and how she wore them to bed when she was super cold. She didn't fucking care. Tom jumped, startled by her outburst. "I don't fucking care about the slippers, okay?!"

She stood up, ripping herself away from her loving boyfriend. He stood up too, walking around the bed to stand near her. He didn't want to get too close, in fear of scaring her. No, he never wanted to do that. She pulled her hands up to her face, shaking. "I-I-I don't even know where this is going, Tom."

"Love. . . What do you mean?" He asked softly. His mind was running a mile a minute but he didn't want it to show.

"Tom, you're in-fucking-love with me!" She screamed and threw her hands down. He stepped closer, only a bit though, and she stepped back. His face fell and she saw, but didn't let it show that she cared.

"Of course I am, darling." He nodded anyways, "Why don't you come here and we can talk about this, calmly?"

She shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. He tried stepping to her again, she didn't move, so he placed his hands onto her arms in a loving manner. She screamed, "No, no! Get off of me!"

He obeyed, immediately dropping his hands and stepping back, like she had burst into flames. "Y/N, darling, if you want to go back and forget what I said, we can. We can wait until your ready."

"No! No, we can't! Because it's already out! You won't get me to say it. You won't!" She pointed at him, her tears falling rapidly, his too. He loved her, so much. He hated seeing her like this. He hated what that asshole did to her. God, he loved her so much. She continued, screaming, "I'm not something you can fix! Can't you see that I'm a product of my own past? Tom, this isn't going to last, I'm going to end up alone!"

He shook his head, "No, no, love, you won't. I'll be here. I'll help you, you're gonna get past this. I promise you."

He walked over to her again and wrapped his arms around her, she thrashed around in his hold, sobbing. Y/N fell to the floor, dragging Tom with her. She finally calmed her body and leaned her head against his chest, crying loudly. Tom held the breaking girl, whispering sweet nothings to her.

No. You won't hear me say those words again. This is something that you cannot mend. Can't you see I am a product of my own past?  So I know this will never last. And I will cover your fears. I will not pick up your tears. I'll live out the rest of my days alone.

After awhile, Y/N's and Tom's cries had quieted down, they just sat in each other's arms. Somewhere in the time of sitting with each other they both realized something. Tom realized how much he loved her. He realized how hard it was to love her. He realized he loved a broken girl. And most importantly, he realized that he would stick by the broken girl until the day he died. Y/N realized two things. She realized that she was completely complicated and tough to crack. But boy was she lucky to have someone willing to help her through it. Sure, that didn't mean she was instantly cured from the depths of her own mind, but it sure did help to know she wasn't alone. And in that time, she realized her fear. She was terrified that she wouldn't ever love again. God, did she want to. She wanted to love Tom, so badly. She was just scared. Scared to love, scared to let go, scared to jump in again. But she was determined to try, and if that's all she could do, she'd be okay. She just wanted to try.

'Cause I gave my heart to a goddamn fool. I gave him everything. Now there's nothing left for you. 'Cause I gave my heart to a goddamn fool. I lost everything and I have nothing left for you.

[all-the-love-harold]

Paris in October - Part 3

Part 1 I Part 2 

You were sat next to Harry on a private jet that was taking you to London and you couldn’t believe that just two weeks ago you were sitting on your couch in your tiny apartment in Sydney considering cancelling your trip to Paris all together because you were afraid you’d get lonely by yourself.

After the show the other night you had gone back to your hotel room completely buzzing from what had just happened.  You found it hard to believe that not only had Harry asked you to go to his show in Paris, but he had now asked you to go back to London with him.  He had a show in Germany on Friday which gave you time to pack all your stuff up before he came back to Paris to meet you.

It was only a short flight, but it gave you more of a chance to get to know Harry, which you were grateful for considering you were going to be spending the next week or two with him in a place you’d never been before. You were excited to see the UK, you’d always want to spend more time there, but you could never bring yourself to miss Paris in October and you never had enough time or money to do both. But here you were, on a private jet, with an incredibly handsome, down to earth guy that wanted to show you around his home country.

“So, this ex of yours sounds like a dick” Harry said in attempt to get to know you a little better

“Yeah, we were together for like 9 years, and when I got a job in the city and had to move away it got too much he dumped me”

“*whistles* wow 9 years”

“Yep, I was 14 when it started, I always saw myself marrying him” you admitted “apparently not”

“You’re better off without him, a job in the city is way more interesting than a home town boyfriend”

“You’re not wrong there, I don’t particularly like Sydney, but I’m so glad I moved out of my hometown, I love my job”

“What do you do?”

“I’m a play therapist, I use play to help sick kids understand what they’re going through”

“Now that just sounds like the best job ever”

“Not as great as yours” you said gesturing around the plane

“I’m very lucky to get to do all this” he nodded

“You sure are” you smiled “I should let my friend know that I’m going to London with you, She’ll freak” you said, searching through you bag for your phone. Once you found it Harry took out of your hand

“Let’s send her a photo of the both of us” he said, opening the camera app and leaning in close to you to take a selfie. You took the phone back, looking at the photo

“I look like shit, but you look good, and that’s all she’ll be looking at anyway”

“Are you kidding Y/N, you look incredible”

You giggled, enjoying the compliments, while it had only been a month since you and Mike had broken up, it had been a long time since you had felt beautiful around a guy, and Harry definitely made you feel beautiful.  

On our way to London!!!

WHAT THE FUCK Y/N!!!

THAT’S HARRY FUCKING STYLES

WHY ARE YOU GOING TO LONDON??????????

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED THE OTHER NIGHT?!!!

DID YOU FUCK HIM? BC THAT’S ONE HELL OF A REBOUND

Hahaha no! I didn’t sleep with him! I was backstage at his show and I met his band and we drank champagne that was probably worth more than my entire life, and I said I didn’t really have anything planned for the rest of my trip, so he asked me to come back to London with him

And now we’re here, on a private jet, about to land in London

What did I tell you about getting onto private jets with strangers?!!?!

If I’m to quote 17 year old you correctly “life’s too short to pretend you don’t like Harry Styles” and I’m on a private jet with Harry Styles, so I’m taking your advice

Omg you didn’t tell him I used to say that did you?!?!?!

Maybe

I hate you

You don’t

I don’t you’re right, but please be careful, I know he’s pretty and famous and you’ve been listening to me talk about him for years, but you’ve just met the guy and if you end up dead in a foreign country I’ll have to kill you

There was a car waiting for you and Harry outside the airport once you’d made it through security. The car took you back to his place and you spent the majority of the journey looking out the window, admiring the city.

“I can’t believe you’ve been coming to Paris for the last five years and the most you’ve seen of London is Heathrow airport”

“It’s a great airport”

He laughed as the car pulled up outside his house, thanking the driver and helping you out of the car, making sure to grab both yours and his luggage out of the boot.

“I can carry my stuff Harry”

“Now I wouldn’t be much of a gentleman if I let you carry your own bags, would I” He said punching the code into the security gate, struggling to hold all the bags “My keys are in my pocket, you mind grabbing them out?”

“Sure” You giggled, reaching into his left pocket, getting dangerously close to his crotch but getting hold of the keys quickly “Which one is it?”

“The big one” he motioned towards the biggest one that on the key chain, and you grabbed it and unlocked the door and walked in “don’t go too far, the alarm will go off” and you stopped dead in your tracks not wanting to set it off. He put the bags down and punched the code into the alarm turning it off

“Go free” He chuckled, and you walked ahead, looking around, feeling very out of place in such an incredible house. Your apartment was nice, but nothing like this. He watched as you looked around, a little in awe of how beautiful you were when you were so unaware of it.

He took you upstairs and showed you were you would be staying for the next few days, he had offered to pay for you to stay in a hotel if you didn’t feel comfortable staying with him, but you’d spent enough time by yourself recently and thought it would be nice to stay in a real house for a few days and he was more than happy to have you. The room was beautiful, with a king-sized bed and a window overlooking London, you were glad to be here, and excited to see what Harry had planned for you over the next few days.

That afternoon, after you’d both had a chance to rest a little, Harry decided to take you out for a walk in the park that was down the road from his house. He’d always loved it there, in the summer it was so green and luscious, the trees that lined the path provided much needed shade from the sun and it was always filled with people, out enjoying the warm weather, usually with their pets, and if it was possible, the park was even more beautiful at this time of the year, filled with orange leaves and almost bare trees. Harry took your hand as you walked down the path, the park was almost empty, expect for a few people walking their dogs.

“It’s a squirrel!” you stopped walking and let go of Harry’s hand so that you could point to the squirrel. He chuckled at how excited you were and watched as you moved closer to the edge of the path.

“Never seen a squirrel before love?”

“Shhhh, you’ll scare it away”

Harry laughed at you some more “They’re used to people love, he’s not going to run away, unless you get too close”

“Look at his little paws Harry, look how cute he is”

“Honestly love, have you not seen one before?”

“We don’t have them in Australia, oh my god, look at the way he runs, look at him go, I love him”

The squirrel ran back up the tree and you put your phone away while Harry grabbed your hand again, leading you off the path towards the pond that sat opposite the deserted playground. You stayed there for a while watching the ducks and chatting about Harry’s tour, before he noticed that you were starting to get cold. The sun was setting, and the wind had picked up a little and what had started out as a lovely afternoon stroll, was beginning to turn miserable as it got colder.

“Should we head back?” he asked, pressing a kiss to your hand “Your hands are freezing”

“They’re always cold, but I wouldn’t mind heading back now”

“I make a mean hot chocolate, if we stop by the corner shop on the way past, I’ll grab everything, and we’ll warm up with those before we have dinner”

“I’ll never say no to chocolate”

The store looked like it was getting ready to close when you walked in, but Harry quickly grabbed the milk, cocoa powder and a bar of chocolate, knowing exactly where everything would be and took them to the counter to pay.

“Harry!” The shop assist said, “Long time no see, where have you been?!”

“On tour” He flashed that dimpled smile at the old man “Got a show in London tomorrow night, you coming?”

“Me?” the man laughed “Sorry H, not really my cup of tea”

“You don’t know what you’re missing” you chimed in, winking at Harry, hoping that he would notice

“New Friend H?” he winked at Harry

“This is Y/N, I met her in Paris, but she’s never been to England before, so I thought I’d show her around”

“I’m George” he said reaching his arm out to introduce himself, you shook his hand “H has been coming here since he moved to London, he’s my most valued customer, disappears a lot though”

“I bet” you laughed as harry took his wallet out of his pocket

“8 pound 50” Harry handed over a 20-pound note

“Keep the change, that’ll make up for my absence” he took the bag off the counter and you grabbed your hand “Cya George”

“It was nice to meet you” you said as you walked away. The walk back to Harry’s wasn’t long but it had gotten much colder outside, so you were glad to see house appear when you turned the corner. Once you got inside, Harry took your coat off for you and hung it up on the hook near the door, and doing the same with his own and making his way to the kitchen and filling a pot with the milk he had just bought. You sat down on one of the stools that sat under the island bench and watched as he chopped the chocolate up.

“This better be good Styles, I’ve got high hopes”

“Maybe lower your expectations a little, it’s good, but not that good”

“Chocolate’s chocolate” you admitted “Where can I find the mugs?”

“Top left” he said adding the chocolate to the milk and stirring until it melted, while you took two mugs out of the cabinet and placed them on the bench beside the stove. He turned the stove off and poured the milk into the mugs, topping it off with some marshmallows and cocoa powder.

“All yours” he said, handing you a mug “Let’s go sit in the living room, I’ll put the heater on”

You followed him into the living room and sat down on the couch, and he sat down right next you, after turning the heater on.

“You’re right, you do make a mean hot chocolate”

He smiled, taking a sip “I told you”

“So I’ve told you about my ex, it’s your turn to tell me about yours, and don’t try and pretend you’ve only got a few, Suze has given me the rundown ”

He looked at you for a second, contemplating what he could say next, not wanting to make himself look bad “How much do you know?”

“Taylor Swift, Kendell Jenner, and a few others, you don’t have to tell me everything, just give me something, so that I don’t feel like I’ve over shared”

He nodded, staying quiet for a minute “Taylor was a long time ago, so was Kendell really, it’s been a long time since I’ve dated anyone”

You nodded, edging a little closer to him “Have you ever been in love?”

“I don’t think so, have you?” he asked without really thinking “Sorry, that’s a stupid question, you were in a 9 year relationship”

“I don’t know if that was love or convenience though, it was easier to stay together than it was to break up, until I moved”

He put his mug down on the coffee table and put his arm around you “It must be hard to move on from something like that, even if you weren’t in love with him, he was a big part of your life”  

You leant your head on his chest, this was the first time in weeks that you’d let yourself think about it properly and you were glad that Harry was here to comfort you. You turned you head and looked up at him “Thank you, for being so understanding” you said, “I’ve known you for less than a week but you’ve made being on the other side of the world a little easier”

He leant down, brushing his lips against yours “It’s been my pleasure love” he pulled back a little, so that he could look into your eyes and placed his hand in your jaw touching it softly “You deserve more than what he gave you.” His eyes lingered on your lips for a second and then he kissed you tenderly, cupping your face with both his hands and slowly pulling back to pepper little kisses along your jaw before returning to your lips and kissing you deeply.

The rest of the evening was spent stealing kisses from one another while you watched movies that you’d both seen before. You both called it an early night and went to bed by 10, knowing tomorrow would be a busy today.

***  

The next day was spent exploring London with Harry. He made sure to avoid all the tourist spots, instead taking you to all his favourite places, most of them private enough for him to stay hidden from prying eyes, but still out and about in the city. You were quickly falling in love with this city, and Harry was quickly falling in love with you. He was completely in awe of you, he appreciated the normalcy of your life but saw a side of you that was far from dull. Your light hearted, and relaxed personality was a nice change from the intensity of women he had previously dated, and your shared sense of humour meant that spending time together was a lot of fun.

That afternoon, before he had to head to the venue for the first of the two London shows, you found yourselves sitting on a bench at Primrose Hill, overlooking London sipping on two warm cups of tea, enjoying a moment of peace before things got crazy tonight.

“I want you to meet my Mum tonight” he said as he took a sip from his mug

“It’s a little early isn’t it?” you weren’t expecting Harry to introduce you to his family yet, ever really. You were really enjoying what the two of you had, and as much as you liked him, you couldn’t see it lasting much longer than your trip “I only met you four days ago”

“I really like you Y/N, I told you last night that I haven’t dated in a long time, but I can see us being together, I want this to work, I want it to be more than a Holiday fling”

“I live in Australia Harry, it’s a 23-hour flight”

“That’s why I want you to meet my mum tonight, I’ll make it work with us, I’ll be there in a couple of weeks anyway with the tour and if things are still working between us, I’ll make sure I come visit whenever I have time off, and I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to introduce you to her again”

“This is all moving very fast H” you said finishing off your tea

“I know love, but that’s kinda how things are with me, if things don’t move fast then they don’t move at all”

“I do really like you Harry, please don’t think I don’t, but I hardly know you”

“You’ll get to know me, just give it a chance”

“It’s a lot of pressure meeting you Mum”

“It’ll just be a quick introduction tonight, and if you come to Manchester with me in a few days, you can talk again”

“I can deal with that” you said resting your head on his shoulder “and of course I’m coming to Manchester with you, I’ve got nothing else to do”

He laughed, planting a gentle kiss on your head. Hearing Harry tell you that he wanted this to be more than a holiday fling had you excited, you liked him a lot, but everything that’s happened since you met him had been so surreal but, you couldn’t imagine a world where you dating Harry Styles would actually work. You were, however, going to give it chance, because you liked him a lot than you expected you would. In the last four days you had felt more special than you had in the nine years you had been with Mike. You were falling for Harry and as fast as it was going, you didn’t want it to stop.

And that’s part 3! I hope you’re all enjoying it so far, it’s looking like there’s going to be two more parts, and if there’s anything you’d like to see happen, please let me know 

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