#thank you for this pic though... the rest are also glorious

[sugar-petals]

UUUMH have you seen him

collared and with a cross! this is taemin level of subversion 😂 submit, all men, in the name of christ 🙏😆 these stylists are on a new level lmaoo i love it, txt never miss

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

💙Sat 12 Dec ‘20💙

◟̽◞̽ LIVE FROM LONDON aka “5 TIMES LOUIS NEARLY GAVE US HEART ATTACKS AND THE ONE TIME HE RAISED OUR BODIES BACK TO LIFE” ◟̽◞̽

The hype leading up to the event was beautiful and nerve wracking, with Louis' Walls streams showing the largest gain since release week, new merch dropping (pink! So much pink! It is the color of rock n roll after all...plus it's available in sizes ranging from XS to 3XL fuck yeah, so nice), LTHQ and Veeps whipping everyone into a frenzy with a barrage of tweets, plus Louis tweeted “if you have a speaker round the house plug it in, if you're old enough get yourself a drink. This is going to be special!” (fan: if I do that my mom will kill me! Louis, basically- fuck that, do what you want!), and then he posted the set list which genuinely took my stress levels down like 90% THANK YOU LOUIS, I was able to simply enjoy the cool static-y countdown with its rainbow glitches for a few. But ofc any calm went completely down the toilet the second he walked out with a giant ass H on his chest (the first heart attack) and started singing maybe the best he's ever sung in his life?? My heart was still pounding three minutes later when he sang the softest, most gorgeous version of We Made It, standing in front of a giant rainbow wheel. The arrangements on every song were incredible (the string section? YES!). He did the best version of Through The Dark I've ever heard and that song is already my fucking favorite, That Version of Two Of Us, ACOUSTIC ONLY THE BRAVE, rock Always You, stadium rock Fearless, and we all know about his version of Beautiful War (WOW), listen do I need to list every song? I WILL DON'T TRY ME. But on top of all that-- the NEW SONG!! Copy of a Copy of a Copy is, uh, amazing?? It's just... so GOOD...so.. gestures vaguely at like... all of it. The sound! The lyrics! GORGEOUS, and he really gets into the figurative lyrical territory that he admires so much in others' songs and has said he wants to do more, I love seeing that so much and the results are just... sublime. Truly. Much chatter now about the similarity in sound to Sign of the Times, as if it wasn't terrific enough already. So much to love about it! And I even loved the inclusion of the fan videos on KMM-- they were just on the screens behind Louis, it totally worked with the general cool look of everything and didn't detract at all, and tbh Louis singing directly to the wall  of singing louies was actually so lovely and precious. In conclusion, his voice throughout was PHENOMENAL, the band were great, strings included (hire those women Louis take them on the road, please!), the sets and lighting design and direction were awesome, the whole aesthetic was just SO on point, Louis said it best-- “we smashed it”. YEAH. YOU DID.

Other things: you didn’t think I was done with THAT FUCKING H SHIRT did you? It doesn't just have a GIANT H in the middle, above that (like tags!) are five asterisks, *****. YEAH. Look familiar? Yeah to me also damnnn. So, “end it”, “Harry”, or both? Poll time! Hair update: in a combined “you always come thru for your louies” and “you fucking demon troll” moment that's perfectly Louis he DID take his hat off to show us the glorious mane but I'm pretty sure he also trimmed it before the show! And: Hot Oli is already in the rearview I guess; ah we barely knew ye, but a new photog has appeared on the scene: enter Josh Halling (prev worked with Sam Fender) taking show pics today, including a super cool one on Louis' insta. Welcome to the team? Being a better guy than Jordan is a low bar, so just try to clear that one sir? And keep feeding us those great Louis pics! And: WBK Louis likes his backstage vodka redbull (and onstage 'water' bottles), and he confirmed between songs- “the power of vodka for me mate I’m loving it!” (straight? no, gay!). And: was the CK hoodie Louis was wearing in the pre show publicity photo (thanks Hot Oli) Harry's CK hoodie? Or simply a Copy of a…. well you know. And: hey guess what-- I gotta hand it to Veeps, against all odds that stream was flawless! Plus they got rid of the chat which was probably to facilitate that but also I simply appreciated it, good call. The Genius lyrics page for Copy of a Copy of a Copy did crash after the show though so it's cool don't worry; we've still got it. And finally: lots of people are talking now about how cool the show was but do any of them matter except DMAs reposting the pic on insta with hearts?! LOVE that for Louis.

And for the aftershow we got Louis on twitter! He thanked everyone (us, the crew, the band, Charlie, the strings, veeps, “all my personal team”), and answered a Q about doing another one-- “potentially but I doubt it, wanted to make this one special so no plans at the moment to do another.” About Copy he said “it will remain in the set for the tour and live shows but not sure when/if it will be released yet” but also re inclusion on LT2 “Probably but I want to keep all my options open. Very early in the process. Enjoy the moment!”

The rest of the day was pretty slow thank god, just some prerecorded content from Liam (a wizarding world spot) and a tik tok that's just him in the dark, shirtless, reacting to a fan screaming (literally) about how he apparently got relationship advice from Liam via facetime last night. And today's daily alarm, which was actually pretty wild, Liam and Roman reading a whole long rhyming poem about waking up! Very impressive indeed, I especially like when they rhyme “santa” with “banter”, perfectly British! And then also a strange interlude of Roman talking about how to impersonate Keanu Reeves, okay.

[that-homoerotic-blouse]

I keep getting excited and reading and liking all your posts and then all of a sudden I realize I’ve spam liked your blog, sorry about that! I know some people don’t like it, I think you said you don’t mind though! yay! :) I’ve sent you 2 asks on anon and you’ve replied being SO NICE DUDE AHHH!!

Man the dt gender envy is so real, I sent you that ask and the first picture in your reply OH MY GOD !!!!! Also why do I get gender envy from all of the pics from much ado about nothing. All of them, I’m not even joking. I need and want to watch it but I might spontaneously combust.

I’m reading Beautiful Chaos by Gary Russell right now and it’s really good! I can’t put it down haha. Have you read it? Do you have a fave doctor who book? :)

Every time you use they/them pronouns for the doctor it makes me so happy! I love your blog so much! I hope you have a great day/ night!

Oh MY!

You’re the sweetest soul and this is such a pure lovely message!!! Thank you so much, I really enjoy receiving enthusiastic asks such as yours, they’re a pleasure to answer cos we can both COLLECTIVELY SCREAM about our fave stuff and that’s a *chef kiss* fandom experience. I really appreciate seeing you on my notifs :)

Again, reinforcing my point that dt has a too powerful gender aura, there’s pictures of him that just scream GENDER™ and I could waste away drinking them all in, I rest my case your honor. Also indeed Much Ado About Nothing (2011) is rated P for PRETTY GAY and it will most DEFINITELY give you gender envy but oh it's GLORIOUS PLEASE PLEASE DO WATCH IT DO NOT MISS ON THAT MASTERPIECE

And OH DEAR dw books are so interesting to read! You’ve made a top tier choice with that story to begin with. I've read the Stone Rose, Feast of the Drowned, Into the Blood, The Last Dodo and Beautiful Chaos, which I liked very much, especially for the awkward family domesticity :') (THE DOCTOR HAVING DINNER WITH DONNA WILF AND SYLVIA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA) In general I’m very unfamiliar with the dw extended universe, but I felt like these books might be a good starting point and they are! Personally I think sometimes the plots aren’t as good as the actual episodes but it’s all worth it for the characterization moments (which is all I’m after lmao). If you have any good recommendations, please do tell!

And last but not least YES NONBINARY DOCTOR IS MY JAM AND I'M HERE FOR IT! They're just headcanons of course, but this is my blog and I'll push my agenda as much as I like because I'm queer as hell 🌈 I recall that you also liked my ace! doctor hc and ASDSSKJ it makes me so happy that it makes YOU happy!!!! We deserve to see ourselves and our experiences represented and who can blame us for projecting onto our favorite characters (who are also many times ace-coded)?

I WILL KEEP ON RAMBLING EXTENSIVELY ABOUT MY HCS

[izartn]

Thanks to the tumblr user who created this! @ummmmandy.

This is not an avatar of me, but an aproximation of an oc I created for my orginal story in the world of Ayalta- a solarpunk reincarnation-mythological interpersonal drama. XD The lady in the pic is my vision using ummmmandy tool’s of Dee or Diana (as the spanish pronunciation not the dayana one) one of the four protags. She’s the older sister by four years of Elatha, the best friend of Naír and is in mutual admiration with Aer.(I’ll show you pics of them later)

Dee is a dancer and a musician. What style of dance I don’t know yet, but I think she’s very involved with theatre so I’ll go search the more dramatic styles... She’s also a trained singer (as her brother, but he isn’t interested in making a job out of it) (also she isn’t into opera)  and loves the drums, but the big ones. The worldbuilding is a mess but the taiko japanese drums are so very her style in my head... Gotta research drums. Dee also knows how to play the guitar and the harp. It all comes from family too; up to her grat-great-grandparents on her father side in each generation there’s been musical-related artists and she’s learnt at her family’s side since she was a toddler. Her father prefers dance too, although he also know how to play the erhu thanks to a friends of his parents. Her mother was the one to took her to the drumming festivals, and teach her to dance as the northern do. She learnt the harp alongside Dee, falling in love with the instrument. 

So Diana is very very active and so she does her long long hair up in braids like a crown or in buns or both. Her clothes are fairly simply and airy; the climate is usually hot in the islands and she likes to contrast the white with warm-vibrant colors like the red and oranges. She wears clothes in two pieces; Dee isn’t fond of dresses, although a skirt with maybe some leggings is more her style. Sometimes she’ll steal Elatha’s when she’s in the mood of something a bit more sober but he also likes to borrow her skirts, which are specially made for movement, so they end up wandering from a wardrobe to other and forgetting a bit what goes where.

Her eyes are a warm brown that look very clear in the sunlight and seems almost black under a tree shade. Her skin is not as dark as her father’s, but the warm undertones are the same, and the sun makes both shine. The freckles are from her mother, who is almost a redhead and comes from a cloudy country, and are a constant in Dee’s under the constant sunlight of her home. 

I said Ayalta’s was a solarpunk fantasy right? Dee’s nation exports energy, and people live up to 300 years old besides having certain talents and a touch with the elements. Dee’s a natural empath, and the collar at her neck has a stone that help her concentrate the energy and control her emotional output-input. She goes without it at her concerts and when she’s dancing, bc in Ayalta, one’s talents are used in the arts whenever possible so she enhances the experiences and unites the feels of the artists... (It’s all consented beforehand) When at her peak, she can almost make visions materialize form the emotional energy concentrated. This is a natural talent for the immaterial sciences coming forth which tends to drive nuts Nair, her bestie, who is the equivalent of one of thsoe astrophysics and other weird physics guys, and who prefers to aid himself with maths and the scientific method in his exploration of the mystical. 

Dee has also a talent for fire, heat and all their processes. She herself exudes energy, which is why she likes her days busy. In personality, she tends to keep a bit separate from people until she knows them somehow, although Dee is usually kind. She doens’t go helping others though, and in fact is very vexed when somene makes demands of her regarding her empathy. Even if she wanted she’s always been able of sense emotions, in all her lives, so she doesn’t understand how other people without that sense live and her counsel tends to not make much sense or be too direct to work when you aren’t an empath and searching for a delicate solution. 

She also weirds out others a bit with the empathy, bc it never stops, although Ayalta in general is much more emotionally open than Earth, precisely bc of the existence of people like Dee and Eleatha, a truth-seeker, and the need to process the continuous reincarnations. Dee is always 100% honest and very sharp of mind, and is also too intense, too emotionally volatile, too much in general for most. Her parents encouraged her honesty and with her brother, who knows lies from truth her household has no filter. Almost too much at times.

At the same time, people tend to reunite by her, and in past lives the results haven’t been pretty. Carismatic empath war leader, what is there to fear?? (but what glorious disasters those were)  But those days are like, 3-4 lives away, the details fuzzy in her head. This is has been her most pacific life to date, and by good she’s gonna live pacefully now she can and wants to. (we all know this isn’t gonna last) (and anyways with her talent and work she’s gonna end up famous somehow so. no rest for the wicked)

[ladyideal]

Sunny Georgia

Pairing: Leonard McCoy x Reader

Word Count: 1523+ (It’s short I’m sorry)

Warnings: Language, whole lot of fluff

Summary: Shore leave back home.  You find happiness and content, with the hope of something more one day.

A/n: Whew, first pic went off with a blast. It looks like I’ll be making a masterlist soon, if I’m not too careful. 

Shore leave.

Glorious shore leave. 

It had been two years in space, and now Starfleet Command, finally, finally approved of a two weeks break back home, a rarity. . The crew cheered as the ship docked back onto Spacedock, and many packed their bags, sent out their well wishes, and hurried to take the next shuttle back down to the station. 

Unfortunately for Spock and you though, there were still the matter of briefing the Admiralty on your latest adventures out in the unknown. So, Leonard hefted both his and your duffle bags, filled with equal parts of PADDs and clothes, and followed after Spock and Nyota to a recently docked shuttle heading back down to dirtside.

“Two weeks of sunshine, concrete, and grass. What do you say?” You glanced over at your boyfriend, doing your absolute best to distract him from the ride. “Could go ride the waves, visit your mom and Joanna, maybe even see if we can squeeze in time for a carnival here?”

You looked over a brochure, detailing the rides and food of a carnival not far from HQ. Grinning inwardly, you knew you were going to have a blast, especially now that you were back home. 

“Sweetheart,” He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. “How about we just stick with just two places?”

“Come on, Len!” You placed a hand on his shoulder, comforting him through the shuttle ride. “We might as well have a date at the carnival, that’s something we haven’t done before.”

As the train pulled into the station, Leonard released a relieved sigh. “Thank god,” he muttered as the rest quickly became lost under his breath.

“Hopefully this goes fast. I’ll see you at noon,” You embraced him quickly, enjoying the warmth and love that he reciprocated. With a quick grin, you followed after Spock towards the headquarters.

It was not fast, much to your dismay.

“My god, Spock, that took ages,” You complained, crossing your arms as you descended down the stairs with him. “I swear they just wanted to know every damn minute of what we did. It’s supposed to be shore leave, not spend the entire day at headquarters leave.”

‘Certainly Captain, logically speaking, Admiral Smythe would want to know the details of our mission. However, it is illogical to assume that-.”

“If Smythe had his way, we wouldn’t be out of there till near evening,” You frowned at the thought of that. Having adventures was the upside of being Captain, but was also the source reports as high as mountain. There was also the same glaring report that was still on your PADD, thrown away carelessly to the side of your luggage. Oh no, you didn’t even want to picture it, much less think of more work you have to finish soon.

“Admiral Smythe is correct in his findings, but-,” Spock added on.

“Nyota! Leonard!” You interrupted him, waving back when the two mentioned waved at you from the entrance of the academy. 

“We survived the briefing though, and that’s what matters the most. God knows it would’ve been much much longer if Admiral Owens didn’t cut in, and helped move the conversation along,” You returned back to the conversation at hand. “Talking about him-.”

“We should get going soon. Ma is expecting us for dinner tonight,” Leonard wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

“As should we, our plane departs in an hour to visit my parents,” Nyota added on, smiling softly up at Spock. 

“Already?” You squinted at the chrom. How long did the briefing take?

“Yes, darlin’,” Your boyfriend rolled his eyes, as though he couldn’t believe that you didn’t notice that the sun was well past the midpoint of the sky.

“Oh,” You mumbled, and grinned back at Nyota and Spock. “Take some pictures for us? I would love to see what it’s like over there.”

“Of course,” Nyota hugged you, and you responded back.

“See y'all soon.”

And that’s exactly how you spent your first week and a half at Georgia. Elenor was a godsend, making the most delectable soul food you could ever imagine on a day by day basis. Honestly, you were beginning to grow worried that you were becoming fat with the more you eat, but you didn’t care. Joanna, or Jojo that Leonard affectionately called her, was an absolute delight to have around. And secretly, you would love to have her as your step daughter.

 Every day was planned differently. A day at the library, a day at the lake - that Leonard was not too happy about -, and a day meant to spoil her and your dear boyfriend all together. As a teenager, she fully understood what was going on around her, and embraced it. But for the most part, you stood in the background, letting the father daughter duo catch up with one another. 

While you weren’t with Joanna, you spent hours swapping stories with Leonard’s sister, Donna. With having no other siblings, it was refreshing to have someone that could understand what you were going through as Leonard’s girlfriend in a small rural town. As the day darkened into the evening sky, you leaned against the stairs.

“It’s good to be back here. I’ve missed this place,” You sigh in content, watching the stars above twinkle in the unpolluted night sky.

“How long do ya still have out there?” Donna curiously asked.

“Another three years, I’m afraid,” You closed your eyes, wanting to feel the cool wind breathe across your sun tanned skin. “And I owe practically my life to the little brother of yours after all we’ve gone through. Everything up there can change in just a blink of an eye. It’s not easy, I’ll tell you that. Any moment I could lose him or myself or both of us.”

His sister hummed quietly. “He knows right?”

You opened an eye to peek over at her. “We have, but we’re taking it one day at a time; see what the universe has in store for us,” but you understood her underlying implication. “I don’t wanna push him. As long as he’s happy, I’m happy too.”

She continued observing you, sensing that you have more to say. 

“I just want the best for him after that chaotic break up with Jocelyn. Donna, I’m satisfied with where I am in life now. I get to captain my ship, have a loving boyfriend. There is nothing in this galaxy that I could want anymore, except for happiness.” 

“Donna! Y/N! Time for dinner!” Elenor exclaimed from the kitchen, moving to go climb the staircase to wake her son and granddaughter. 

“Knowing my brother,” Donna mulled over her words slowly. “I would say, he would want the same for you. All I see from him is affection and love, nothing less. I think, deep down he knows you are different from Jocelyn, that you and him aren’t the same as when him and her were together back then. He sees a future with you in it. It’s a surprise, but it’s not unwelcomed. Without him being pushed out into space, he would never have had the opportunity to meet you. Lenoard sees it simply, happiness. And after such a long time, he has found it with you.”

She held your gaze, a serious look on her face. 

“You think so?” You asked quietly. 

“I know so,” Leonard’s sister stood up, extending a hand out to help you up also. “C’me on, let’s go before ma yells again.”

After yet another wonderful dinner, and being shooed away from washing dishes again for the third night in a row, you found yourself leaning on Leonard’s shoulder on the porch steps, observing the clear night sky above again.

“I’m glad we came back home for leave,” you sipped on your iced tea at ease.

“I am too, sweetheart, we both needed this,” The doctor agreed, hugging you ever more tightly to him.

“Y’know Len, I’ve been thinking,” You thought out loud, keeping your eyes up at the stars. “Hopefully next time, we can get a place of our own. Renovate it and stuff to make it ours. Maybe a ranch or something, and get away from Starfleet when we can. One day we can have little pebbles of our own, Joanna be the big sister to them all, and be one big happy family.”

There was silence for a long moment.

“Um, Leonard?” You prompted, suddenly worried that you’d said too much too early in the current stage of your relationship with him. You turned to face him, finding that he was staring back at you the entire time, eyes glittering with love and affection.

“Do you mean that?” He managed out.

“Of course, I do, Len,” You smiled warmly at him.

Gently, his lips touched yours, sealing the deal. As long as you were with him by his side, everything and anything would be possible. Yes, he could definitely see you in his foreseeable future. His other hand stuck into his pocket, where it met a particular hard object. A small velvety hard box in particular, something he’d been sleeping on for the last couple of days. For a moment, he affectionately observed you from the side. Yes, it will be soon.

Tags: @cuddlememerrick @mapachefaerie @floreatetona (if you want to be tagged in future fics, please let me know.)

[0ffgun]

The whole point of valentines day is to yell about how much you love someone (at least that’s how I see it) so that’s exactly what I intend to do! I haven’t had this blog for very long but already I’ve met so many incredible people who have all made this place a home for me! I spend a lot of (too much) time on the internet so honestly?? You guys are basically a huge chunk of my life and this is just my way of saying thank you. So here goes -- beware! Lots of messily written and emotional love notes under the cut!

In alphabetical order:

@1akorn​: TOP QUALITY TOP QUALITY EVERYWHERE!! Your blog is one of my all-time favourites and I love the fact that we watch a lot of the same shows! Your gifs are amazing and I also love reading through your text posts or your replies on your blog to see your opinions on things. I know we’ve never talked much but I basically just wanted to say I think you’re super cool sghdjs

@akingyouniverse​: Hi hi hi! Okay so we’ve never talked but I think you’re fun and I love reading the tags on your posts (I also love seeing Trinity posts on your blog bc there isn’t much content of them around and it makes me so happy!!!!) Anyway yes hi I LOVE YOU hope you have a great day *throws roses through all your windows*

@bldramagalore​: Cindy!! Wow can’t believe that if we both weren’t so damn gay we’d already be married by now! Seriously thank you though, we talk most days and you’re always there when I want to talk to you (usually it’s just to scream about Mark or uwma but still!) Ngl I can’t really remember how we first became friends because it just feels like I’ve known you FOREVER and that’s so comfy and wholesome. My favourite part of my week is when we yell about shows together - even better when we watch them together ofc! - and I just KNOW that we’ll be friends for the longest time so knowing I’ll get to do that a lot in the future too makes me so happy. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE YOU!!!! I’m so in love with you and your gorgeous face and beautiful hair and your stellar makeup skills *KISS KISS*

@blueskycafe​: Hey there!! Sorry if this is super random but you’re a blog that I see in my notes and on my dashboard a lot, and it’s always so nice when I do! Your blog is definitely one of my favourites I adore you fdjgdf I hope you have the best valentines day!

@chaeunwoo​: Your gifs are so pretty 😭😭😭 I love the content you post and seeing you enjoying the shows that you’re watching! We’ve never talked but damn maybe we should - I should send you a random friendly message sometime (if you don’t mind of course dhsjghs) but yes happy valentines day, I hope you have a good one!

@chaoticallytate​: HELLO!!! You randomly message me sometimes and it always puts a smile on my face when your little notification pops up. I don’t know you all that well but I already feel super protective over you (I’m adopting you as my little brother OKAY) and idk you just seem really down to earth and it’s so pleasant. I hope you have the absolute loveliest valentines day!

@doctorbeam​: Hello hello hello you’re lovely just LOVELY omg did I tell you that you’re lovely?? We’ve only talked a little (I’m still so happy about the time you sent me those Mark pics!!) You’re ridiculously cute and I really can’t wait to watch Ossan’s Love so that I can tell you what I think about it! Have the best valentines day you amazing person!

@dollopheadsandclotpoles​: Yeah okay maybe following you has made me get one step closer to drowning in the Merlin fandom as each day goes by I CAN’T DENY IT I’ve barely ever watched the show and yet I somehow already love it just because you do hdkjgd. Also your love for Jaylerr?? That’s my fave! You’re just a really cool person and I just... ugh I super duper appreciate you 💖 Also?? Hope this doesn’t sound weird but you post a bunch of stuff about being aro/ace and seriously I never really knew much on the subject so it’s really nice to see stuff on your blog and get a little more educated every time. Please always keep throwing Merlin onto my dashboard, it feels weird now when you’re not online and there’s no Merlin dhgdskjg 

@earthpodd​: Hey Vic!! I know you’ve probably been crazy busy these days and haven’t been online much, but I really hope you’re doing well! It’s always nice to see you when you’re around and your opinions on stuff are always interesting to see 👀 happy valentines day to my favourite tumblr crush, hope you have a great day!

@gmmtvmother​: jfghjgdhfd no idea what to say because you messaged me today and I near enough burst into flames with joy but hi! I think your blog is one of the first few that I followed, and I’m still shook by the quality. Your content is GREAT and I love it when you make funny posts like your incorrect quotes gifsets, they’re the best! We watch a lot of similar shows so it’s always nice when I get a notification that you’ve posted something and I know in advance that I’m going to absolutely LOVE it!

@idontevenwatchbl​: Hey Millie!! I love seeing you post stuff as you’re watching shows, it’s always so fun and entertaining to see hdsjghjks I’m always excited when you start watching a new show because I know I have those screenshots and funny comments to look forward to! I hope you’re having the very BEST day and I can’t wait to see what you’ll watch next!

@iplann​: sdjghjs hi hello hi!!! First of all thank you so much for always blessing my dashboard with that quality content of Plan - I love him but I can’t always keep up with his activities so heck you’re brilliant for helping me know what’s going on! And second of all I love your blog and your content, it’s fun seeing what videogames you’re into, especially when it’s ones I like too (I’m a TOTAL sucker for Dragon Age ngl.) SO yeah I just wanted to say have a nice day and always stay amazing!

@inkorns​: Oh daaaaamn if it isn’t the creator of the prettiest gifs I HAVE EVER SEEN. You’re super talented at editing okay (don’t even t r y and deny it Ada pls) and I love your blog so much. You’re fun to talk to and I’ve decided that we’re good friends and you are extremely stuck with me forever 😈 I’m gonna spend the rest of my days complimenting your gifs and you can’t stop me!!! Seriously though, talking to you is so nice and honestly?? You’re really cool and funny what the heck. You better have the best valentines day ever or else I’m gonna come over and throw heart shaped stuff at you until you have a good time 😈

@loveisactivated​: Your blog is so extreme super quality I don’t even feel worthy of just LOOKING at your gifsets because damn they look so good. You seem like a really chill person and it’s always nice when we’re watching the same shows and I get to see your amazing content! But yeah hi I think you’re really cool, happy valentines day jfdhdhfdh

@mingskit​: FRIEND FRIEND FRIEEENNDDDD!!!! (I love this “friend” thing we have going on can we do this forever please - I can’t believe we’ve never really directly talked much but we already have a cute friendship thing BLESS) Your gifs? Incredible. You? Even more incredible!! I adore the content you post, especially when you focus on the underrated girls in bl shows. You seem like such a sweet person and I like to think that maybe someday we’ll become good pals! Happy valentines day you wonderful angel 💙 

@nazaaqat​: Faiza!! Okay so yeah we’ve never talked (apart from occasional yelling in tags) but I just wanted to say hi!! You’re one of the absolute most friendliest people I’ve seen on tumblr and it’s always such a pleasure to see you replying to asks in the softest way and your gifs... ugh YES that top quality I’m pretty much addicted to your content at this point. You have so many friends and this is probably really random but I low key (high key okay it’s totally high key) adore you and hope you have a nice valentines day!

@ohbabycupcakes​: Damn you’re one of the first blogs I ever followed and you’ve always been someone who I’ve admired from afar - you’re so good at keeping your followers up to date with stuff that’s happening and you put so much time and energy into your blog and that’s just straight-up awesome. Your language skills are also so good! It’s so exciting to see how much you love learning Thai and honestly you’re so ridiculously talented, I really hope that someday I could be on your level, you’re such an inspiration really. Anyway before I gush for like 6 more paragraphs... I think you’re great and I hope you’re having a good day!!

@perthtanapon​: Pretty edits!! Pretty edits EVERYWHERE!!!! Honestly I really love your content and you post a lot of my faves which just makes me love it even more wow. Your Mark edits literally have me on the floor in a sobbing mess I hope you know that jkghjfkdgfd. I think you’re really chill and it’s nice to message you from time to time, I know we haven’t talked very much but it already feels like we’re good friends! Happy valentines day buddy 💕

@piningbisexuals​: A X E L L E 💕 You’re the first friend I made on here, I remember how excited I was when you first started following me! Your enthusiasm for the things you love is so contagious, half the time I watch new stuff just because I see you enjoy it so much. We have the loveliest most wholesome friendship where we just compliment and hype each other up all the time and I live for it. Can’t wait until the day we both achieve our dreams and can meet up in Thailand to drink some pink milk together!

@priceofwarmclothes​: Erm alright so seriously?? Your gifs are so nice please don’t ever stop gifting my dashboard with your glorious creations. We’ve never talked but you seem like a really fun and talkative person so hopefully someday we’ll have the chance to talk and become buddies! Can’t wait to see more of the gorgeous content you’ll post in the future 💚  

@purnotas​: Hello!!! I see you in my notes a lot and you send me helpful asks from time to time.. thank you so much for that!! You seem so lovely and your blog is full of great content! Please have an absolutely WONDERFUL valentines day! 💛

@rosa-leche​: Hello friend, hope you’re still doing well and that things are much less exhausting for you now that you’re done with your midterms! You always have the nicest things to say and when you leave nice comments in the tags it makes my heart so warm! Wow can’t believe you’re the sweetest person ever 💛💙💜 happy valentines day!

@rosiedaes​: One of the coolest blogs I follow okay.. you’re so chill and I always love your edits so much 😭😭😭 Ngl I’ve been following you for as long as I can remember - when I used to run a kpop blog your main was one of my faves so I was so excited when I made my new blog and I realised that you also have a drama blog!! Always stay amazing and I’ll always be looking forward to seeing what you’ll post next! 

@seoinsguk​: Okay so Alexa... we’re both seriously so BAD at replying to messages (I literally just checked and it’s been forever since I replied oh my god shsk) but really?? I love that! There’s no pressure or stress to our cute little friendship that we have like we can reply to messages weeks apart but it’ll still just feel like a normal conversation 🤣 Also THANK YOU for fuelling my kdrama needs, I don’t follow many blogs that post Korean content so it’s the best when I see you getting excited over a kdrama you’re watching because then I instantly know what to start watching next. Also can I just say... you’re so lovely thank you for being so lovely.

@thaitheseries​: One of the first thai-based blogs I followed and seriously one of the best tbh. You’re so active and I see you on my dashboard all the time and it’s so NICE (probably 90% of the things I reblog are from your blog whoops.) I love reading your tags when you reblog my content and we have similar tastes in shows which is always great! I remember when I was having a rough day and you reblogged some Mark content for me to see... and that was seriously so nice of you and it made me so happy! You’re one of my favourite people and you probably don’t even know about it djsgsfhd happy valentines day!

Wow can’t believe I’m so madly in love with all of you!! And if we’ve never talked... my inbox is always open, let’s be best friends 💕 Hope you all have a great valentines day!

[teardrops-on-my-books]

I had a long think about my 21st and who/what has been important to me over the years. I realised that I could not celebrate this mile stone without thanking those who got me here. Of course, my family and friends were first on the list but someone else was also always there for me, even if they did not know it. @taylorswift has been apart of my life since I was 8 and first heard teardrops on my guitar in my aunts car and asked my dad to google the singer when we got home. Over the next decade I managed to break every Taylor Swift CD from playing it till it scratched. I remember inventing actions to go along with ‘Our Song’ with my sister and her friend and I remember screaming ‘The Way I Loved You’ with my best friend in the back of the car. I also though remember Taylor being there for me during the bad times as well like when mum’s mental health and dad’s MS got too much and me and my sister were taken into care. Taylor’s Music was always my constant strength I would turn to when things got dark whether at home or with the bullies at school. I always hide in my room at the end of a hard day and Taylor would be there in musical form. In my head it was like she was holding my hand and telling me it was all going to be ok. When I had no friends I always had her to cheer me up with “Stay Stay Stay” or to let me vent my emotions through “The Outside”. She was my sanctuary and I did not care what the rest of the world had to say about it.

I ended up having a mental breakdown during my gap year before university, I just stopped functioning and would not even leave the house. Mum did not think I would go to uni in September and everyone was really worried. Two things got me through it and too uni. My Aspergers diagnosis which helped me get the right meds and the Reputation album. When the album came out mum took me on a long drive and we listened to it twice. It was like the best therapy I have ever had, the story of someone feeling angry, lost and attacked by the world but finding happiness through the darkness really resonated with me. It made me feel less alone at a time when I felt completely alone. I will never be able to thank Taylor enough for that, for reaching a musical hand out and saying “it can get better just wait”. I’m now at university with my Lover album posters hanged up and feeling the best iv been in a while. I decided for my 21st I wanted my cake to represent one of the people I admire most which is Taylor. I wanted it to show Taylor playing the piano at the 2019 AMA’s as that was such a powerful moment of her standing up to powerful men and showing that the albums that she wrote are hers. It made me feel powerful, like I could do anything. I also wanted the cake to have images of the albums around the sides as each one has saved me in it’s own way. I also wanted to have some sparkly 13s and some of my favourite Taylor guitars along with Taylor’s glorious children Meredith, Olivia and Benjamin. I knew that getting someone to do such a specific cake was unlikely and I talked to a lot of cake makers and I want to thank the “The Vanilla Pod Bakery” in Cheltenham for taking on the challenge and making it in just two weeks! (They even got the cats eye colours right). When it’s possible I like to represent aspects of my life and interests in my birthday cakes and have had many book themed ones in the past but this one is the best cake iv ever seen and I am so grateful to them for taking on the challenge. I know lots of people will think that I’m insane to use part of my savings on a cake but this cake truly means the world to me (cutting it was so stressful, I was so scared that the models would get damaged as even though there edible, they are so beautiful I want to try to preserve them if I can). My birthday meal went really well and I got to see all my wonderful friends and family and I was so glad I got to share a piece of my love for Taylor with them.

Anyway I just wanted to say thank you Taylor for always being there when I neee you. I also want to thank all the Taylor tumblr fan blogs for making me feel apart of a community that understands what it’s like to love and be supported by Taylor Swift. I will post more cake pics and pictures of the birthday meal in more posts as I ran out of space here. Love you Tay. (Also I want to say sorry for my terrible spelling and grammar I’m dyslexic and I get it mixed up sometimes 💛)

[lianneoelke]

The Vancouver Island & Sunshine Coast Loop: A Solo Cycle Tour of BC’s Finest Retirement Communities. Part 2

Day 4: I hit the road at 7am. A quick ride on the Trans Canada woke me up and brought me to my daily bakery stop.

Serious Coffee for Serious Cyclists.

After second breakfast, I only had to follow one road: the 19A. With wide shoulders and no navigation required, I made good time up the coast. It would have been top notch riding if it wasn’t for the EXCESSIVE WIND that blew all day for NO REASON AT ALL. 

The best views were at Union Bay, where I slowed down a little too much until I realized the ferry I wanted to catch was coming up soon. I gunned it the last 25km to Comox, which was, shockingly, FULL OF HILLS. I gave up on my granny gear zen and let my rage carry me to the ferry terminal, where I caught the 3:25 just in time. The wind refused to chill out so I sat inside and charged my phone while I watched the white caps dance on the ocean.

Once I landed in Powell River it was only a few minutes to the campsite. After 113km my legs once again felt perfectly normal, which was weird. Sitting on a bike saddle, however, was deeply uncomfortable. I decided to walk the 3km to Townsite Brewing, stopping to gorge on veggie korma and stuffed potato naan on the way. 

I didn’t have room for another beer but I drank it anyway because I had biked HUNDREDS OF KILOMETERS to get there. 

I met this beautiful cat on the way back to the campsite, where I quickly fell asleep.

Day 5 began with gear sorting. It seemed like a lot.

I was a bit apprehensive about biking on the Sunshine Coast as I heard it was even hillier than Vancouver Island, but if the family camping next to me could bike to Lund from Powell River with a trailer and a young kid, there's no reason Gavin and I couldn't. The hills were very present, but still doable. I only had 27km to go, and I would have enjoyed the long decent into Lund if I knew I wouldn't have to climb back up eventually.

Lund was a tiny, bustling hub. I was surprised at the size of the grocery and liquor store (also surprised there was a liquor store at all). The store didn’t have much fresh produce, but I can live off beans, chips, and hot dogs for DAYS, thank you very much. Next I headed to Nancy's Bakery for a couple sandos and one of their famous blackberry cinnamon buns (which I'd been thinking about since the last time I was there, two years ago). I found a patio spot next to an outlet and gave my phone one last top up, because I couldn’t count on charging anything on Savary Island. With a couple hours before my water taxi reservation, I found myself on my own with nothing to do, which hadn't happened yet on the trip. I decided to call my parents and tell them what I was doing. I promised my mom I’d write a blog post so I could share some photos (hi, mom!). It was bizzy on Savary Island: rubbermaids, bags, boxes of booze, bikes, and a line of trucks lined up the dock. The people quickly dispersed into various homes, cabins, guest houses, resorts, and moss covered trailers. I went up the hill (no matter where I went, it was up a hill) to the campground: a loose scattering of wooden tent pads on some guy’s property. The owner told me “There is no check in. You just find a site that looks good and settle in.” Cool.

Of course the only rain I saw on the trip happened as soon as I arrived at a sub-tropical island. I expected to have a nap ASAP, but instead opted for a cold shower and laundry in the sink. I couldn’t fully clean my smelly bike shorts with Camp Suds; I could only make them slightly less smelly. 

Savary is a long, skinny island filled with lush rainforest and edged with white sandy beaches. After a comfortable and pitch black night, I was up at a decent hour. Day 6 was my rest day, which meant biking without all my gear. My legs felt overqualified for the 8km rip across the island and back. 

It was Gavin’s rest day, too. 

After a big brunch scramble and a hot dog, I headed to the beach, which was just as sunny and glorious as I imagined. I took a dip in the ocean, read, ate a bag of chips and a hot dog. When I ran out of food I went back to my camp and made an underwhelming dinner of overcooked veggies and terrible instant mashed potatoes with a hot dog. 

One of the best books I’ve read in a long time. It’s about a girl growing up in a survivalist, ultra conservative, and unsafe family fighting for education, despite never setting foot in a classroom until the age of 17. I left my copy at a community library on Savary. Feel free to go get it. On day 7 I caught the morning water taxi back to Lund, then made one more stop at Nancy's before tackling the 3km uphill. It was overcast and muggy. Sweaty and grimy. The ride to Powell River was quick though, and I treated myself to a Buddha bowl and cold beer for lunch. 

It was another 27km to Saltery Bay...

... which was an exceptionally beautiful provincial park.

Of course the campground attendant came to collect fees while I was in the middle of washing myself from a pot.

I felt resourceful that day. Like I belonged out there. It was the little things, like seeing the cycle route sign even though I didn’t see any other cyclists, collecting large rocks to hold my tent down because the ground was too hard for stakes, or improvising a bear hang because the campground didn’t have a bear proof locker for cyclists (get it together, Saltery). Part of me still feels like the kid who spends all her time reading, watching LOTR EE marathons, and making pizza at Panago for $6 an hour. I never grew up thinking of myself as athletic or woodsy, and compared to many people I'm not, but it's about time I realize I can do this on my own. And that I love it.

Day 8 began with a serene ferry ride to Earl's Cove. Out of the entire trip, I was the most nervous about the upcoming ride from Earl's to Sechelt. I knew it would be windy, narrow, and steep, and I didn’t want to end up schmucked on the side of the 101 because some yahoo hauling a yacht, four kayaks, and a dozen mountain bikes couldn't be bothered to slow down on a blind corner. But at this point I had 500km of experience, a bag of Sour Cherry Blasters, and my screaming pink cycling jersey to get through the day safely. It was relatively quiet early Wednesday morning, and the beautiful ride turned out to be one of my favourite sections.

I took a detour on Redrooffs Road after Half Moon Bay to get off the highway for a bit. It was scenic enough, but the elevation was stupid. I hadn’t walked Gavin up that many hills since Thetis Lake Regional Park. Things started to go downhill from there. Metaphorically of course, as the hills only went up. 

Traffic volume started to increase at Sechelt, where I stopped for candy. The Cherry Blasters picked me right up, but not even a sugar rush can hold off eight days of fatigue indefinitely. The last few kilometers to Gibsons weren't exactly painful, but they were not pleasant. My faith in Google Maps’ elevation estimates might never recover. My bike chain was dry and squeaking, but I thought if I could just make it to my destination and offload my gear I could zip back into town and find a bike shop and get some lubricant. In reality, once I finally arrived at Mike's place, after 83km and over 1400m of elevation gain, I couldn't bring myself to take the hill down into Gibsons again. "Can olive oil work on bike chains" is not my proudest Google search, but weary, smelly, and perpetually damp cyclists are nothing if not humble. And the answer is no, not really, but olive oil is better than nothing.

Thankfully Persephone Brewing was within walking distance. My healing began with an order of spring rolls and a rye farmhouse ale.

That evening, as I settled in to my tent, I heard the soft whisper of my couch back at home. The call of the bahn mis at Chickpea that Brian said were amazing. The whinny of my stupidly sensitive horse on Red Dead Redemption 2 Online. The sweet yet powerful purr of Alley Cat, my gentle golden nugget. I was a two hour ride away from completing the biggest physical achievement of my life. A year ago running 5k was a stretch, and biking 11km to Richmond was a chore. I wanted to do an ambitious cycle tour to see if I could. And I can. There’s nothing particularly special about me, or most people, but that doesn’t have to stop us from getting shit done. 

Day 9 was a quick ride down to the ferry, then a hilly ride through West Van on Marine Drive. Once I hit the Lions Gate Bridge, I knew I was home free.

Coming home after 9 days and 590km of a door-to-door solo cycle tour was incredibly satisfying.

Almost as satisfying as seeing my number one precious sweet potato again! 

This sweet pup is my number two. 

Maybe one day I’ll do a proper Google Maps route but this is the general idea.

Highlight(s): the views on Salt Spring, Sokka’s beautiful kitten face, the ride up from Nanaimo, the white sandy beaches at Savary, the peaceful ferry ride from Saltery, the surprisingly doable hills after Earl's Cove, the pics of my niece and nephew smiling on their first day back at school, the beers and food at Persephone, the moment I realized that I absolutely crushed every part of my ambitious plan. Lowlight: Thetis Lake Regional Park. Gold star: Gavin. This humble, unassuming, steel frame hybrid has been a true star, solid and dependable. I love this bike. I love what we can do together. Runner up: The weather. Almost perfect. Runner up: My legs. You know what you did.

[chrsitophwaltz]

MICKEY MEETS FC BAYERN (PART 4/4)

for the entire houston clownery experience click here

psa: if you’ve read the last 3 parts, then you know the drill. i just wanna add that i don’t know how coherent this is bc writing it drained me already. i typed it straight from my garbage brain so this is obviously NOT SAFE FOR WORK. if you’re brave or thirsty enough, or have holy water at the ready, then by all means please proceed.

*matthew mcconaughey voice* alright alright alright

we’ve reached the end, folks! it’s taken me longer than i thought to put this part out. mainly because my brain still can’t comprehend that this actually happened. y’all know that feeling where something happened and you just floated right through it then a few hours later when you’re all alone it hits and destroys you like a fucking trainwreck?

yeah, that’s what it’s been like.

so to recap:

friday: the team arrived. i was positioned nicely near the bus exit and my mind, body, and soul had been buzzing and ready for that moment. i had it all well-rehearsed too: niko steps out, i scream like a banshee for his name, he comes over-- with soft hair and glorious stubble and all-- to sign my shirt and take a gazillion pics. oh, and of course i try not to faint or drool all over him. it was almost fullproof. the problem? he never stepped out. he and thiago went straight to the airport for a press conference and were never in the team bus. i was ready to unleash death right then and there.

but oh well. all hope isn’t lost. i’m gonna be five rows behind the bayern bench the next day during the game anyway. got the tickets within an hour or so after sales opened. i can thirst to my heart’s content over him and his beautiful backside for two hours. and i had this huge ass sign ready, asking for his bottle. it’s bigger and brighter than my life. he CANNOT possibly miss that, right?

saturday: game day! i’ve been buzzing the entire morning and early afternoon. today’s the day! my first time inside a football (american) stadium too. and i was kinda nervous about my sign’s debut too. what if he does see it and give me his bottle? what would i do? do i manage to keep cool or do i smash it right into my eye socket in front of him? until now i still don’t know

so we go down to the stadium. my sign was getting some attention too. people, bayern fans and madridies alike, stopped me and asked what it meant (i had to sheepishly explain to random people that yes, i am indeed asking for his bottle, and no, y’all don’t wanna know why). some guy even got it on his video camera but idk what he did with it sjdfdjkfdjkfsfs

i got settled into my seat and h o l y s h i t i was so close to the pitch and the bench! all the drama? i got it! all the shirt-changing action? i got em too! and all the angry niko antics??? best believe they’re seared into my mind forever and ever!!!!

(dare i say, with full risk of sounding like a downright whore, the man’s got real juicy buns in the back oven. like, fuck me!!!! he’s fit as fucking fuck!!!!!!!! he also loves to whistle and scream instructions and mouth off to hansi on the bench. oh, and to randomly thrust his hips like nobody’s fuckin business!!!!!!!!)

(srsly niko, why do that???? GET OFF MY DAMN NECK!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!! my 17-year old sister was beside me and i had to be 110% a responsible, sane adult!!!!!!! even the guy sitting behind us eventually caught on to my thirst since he saw me filming niko the whole duration of the game sddbsjfdjfnsm)

anyway, niko LOVES to hydrate and he probably finished around 4-5 bottles of water. at one point he looked over at where i was and i’m sure as h e l l he saw my sign (it was a huge ass board). but guess what? it’s like he knew just how desperate i was and kept on sexily chugging. god fucking dammit, niko!!!!

y’all know what happened to all those bottles? NOTHING! they’re just piled up on the bench never to be used again. i was right there, niko! A CRUMB! just one fuckin crumb was all i asked for!!!!!!!!!!!! he could’ve thrown that bottle straight at my fuckin face and i would’ve THANKED him

the game ended, we won, and NO BOTTLE. a bitch was sad!!! a bitch was going STIR CRAZY!!!!! the team only had one day left before they left for kansas city. i’ve been trying to get info on how to get into the practice session so i can see him and all the boys. but of course! the training session might as well be in secret because it’s invite-only!!! even the paulaner bbq event was closed. the only events that were open were the mall meet-and-greets. but those wouldn’t have niko or the rest of the boys in them.

please bear in mind again that i decided to shell out extra just to make that one day extension happen. 

i had to see the entire team. i needed to experience niko up close. if i don’t get to do this now, then god knows when i’ll get the chance to do so again.

so, driven by desperation, i made a totally uninformed decision to go to the hotel at some random time the next day. ultimately, it was either the hotel or the carl lewis track. i figured the hotel would be a safer bet since i’d been there before and it was closer to the mall where the meet-and-greets would be (just in case the worst happened and i failed to catch them before they left for practice or wherever).

hotel or track? hotel.

what time? probably 8:30.

did i know what i was doing? absolutely fucking not.

but hey, couldn’t hurt, right? it was bonkers. truly bananas. but what choice did i have? in the end, i just wanted to be able to tell myself that i tried.

sunday:

i’ve been thinking about what to call this part. here’s some of what comes to mind:

1. crazy binch follows crazy idea and it works? it’s more likely than you think!

2. if you like it (i LOVED it) then you should’ve put a ring on it (I MCFUCKIN DID!!!!! in my head at least sksdjfksdfsdfh)

3. the day kathleen krüger probably wanted my head on a spike (and i don’t blame her)!

so the events from parts 1 and 2 happened. saw and greeted kathleen krüger in decent german. it was going pretty well. somewhere in there, during the sven/leon mishap, it finally happened. the moment that i’ve been waiting for. perfection!

*record scratch* eh, not really.

look, i’m 5′3 (and 1/2, i’m gonna insist on that). leon is 6′2. sven is about 6′3 or 6′4? anyway, y’all get it. they’re tall af.

and niko? a very sexy 5′9.

so in the haze of mortification and embarrassment brought about by the sven/leon mishap, i completely missed niko going out of the hotel. the binch literally had to be positioned in between sven and leon and all the other tall german people milling around the hotel. my ass had been on alert for him nearly the entire week (and let’s be real, for months) and when the moment finally presented itself, it completely flew over my head. i nearly ruined my own damn plan.

thankfully though, i’d been chatting with the bayern staff earlier and they knew that i’d been waiting this whole time to meet niko. i wondered out loud, “ugh, when is niko gonna show up he’s usually one of the earlier ones” and the guy in the red audi fcb tour polo shirt frowned and said “what? he literally just went out. didn’t you see him?”

my world literally stopped. i wanted to slap myself. my ears were ringing.

niko, already out? how could i have missed him? had he already gone up the bus???

i literally did a 360 so fast i gave myself whiplash and saw through the glass doors the man i’d been waiting forever for. he was clad in his blue coach kit of shirt and shorts. i could also swear he was glowing like an angel (probably bc of the bright sun or the product of my thirst-addled brain, idk).

there was another problem, though: he wasn’t stopping. he was going straight for the bus. and his leggies were f a s t.

and where was i? still frozen in shock inside the freaking hotel!!!!

i’m not the fastest person in the world but man, adrenaline really does work wonders! thank goodness my brain chose that moment to regain its function and spurred my body into motion. with no fucks left to give, i ran full tilt through the throng of people leisurely heading out, past the security guards who looked at me like i was insane (i was), out of the hotel and into the courtyard where there were about 50 or so fans behind the barriers who had gathered to catch a glimpse of the team.

it was like everything was in slow-mo. there was kathleen, patiently standing near the bus door and taking inventory of the players and staff before they leave. and there was niko, with literally one foot lifted to go up the first step into the bus.

my brain did a quick calculation. even with adrenaline, he’d already be up and inside the bus by the time i get to where he was. they may have let me inside the hotel, but i knew the bus was off limits. i had to stop him before he’s out of reach. and i knew that if i missed him, then that would be the absolute last time i’d see him in houston. that was my last chance.

i already had one foot dipped into the proverbial pool of shame. i was vaguely aware that i had the hotel staff stationed near the door and some fans looking at me bc of my marathon sprint antic. why not just take the full plunge, right?

so i did the only thing i could do to stop him: i screamed for him. throat open, full diaphragm, lungs out screamed: “NIKO! NIKO PLEASE!” my voice and the desperation that it was absolutely dripping with echoed within the walls of the hotel entrance.

i don’t even know the others’ reaction to that anymore, and i don’t really wanna know. all i know was that it worked! he stopped and turned around to look. and god was he. so. beautiful!!!

overjoyed that he paused, i ran straight towards him. there was a body in front of me that i barely dodged in my haste and i belatedly realized it was the team photographer taking shots of the departure. i nearly bowled him over and destroyed his expensive camera but thankfully i somehow managed to do a the matrix-esque maneuver and ducked under his arms and up again straight back to niko. the look on my face must’ve been shocking and horrific (i bet) because as i zoomed in on niko, i saw poor kathleen just behind him, still near the bus door, go tense with her eyes as big as saucers.

look, i understand. if i were the team manager of a popular football team, and some woman was running straight for one of my charges, with A Certain Look on her face, and with the bus door wide open, i’d be worried af. she probably thought i was gonna attack niko (somewhat true, but not in the way she thought...or was it?) and/or infiltrate the team bus. my intentions were pure (ish), of course, but my face didn’t reflect that.

the Queen knew martial arts and could’ve karate-kicked me off the face of the earth and away from niko, but she didn’t. so thank you, kathleen. and i apologize.

safe from kathleen’s wrath (for now), i turned my full attention to niko. i was finally in front of him!!!!! my dream had finally come true!!!!!!!!!!!

my brain and my soul were trying to leave my body and i wasn’t really 100% percent in the moment, but even with the little presence of mind i had left it was too much to bear. niko looked a bit perplexed, like i might attack him or something (with the way i looked, ran, and shouted like an animal i totally get it), but still managed to look relaxed, open, and friendly. he looked at me expectantly and i felt my mouth move to ask for an autograph and my hands give him my cardboarded jersey and sharpie. i wasn’t in control of my body anymore but thank god it knew exactly what i wanted.

niko, a true angel sent down from the heavens above, gracefully took my shirt and sharpie. i’m pretty sure my mouth was wide open and probably had some drool hanging off, and i could feel kathleen’s stare boring holes into the side of my head. as he was signing it, my last few brain cells were roasting.

his hair was soft and ungelled, and was damp (he looked like he recently just came out of the shower) and as his head was bent down, That Stray Lock of Hair flopped into his forehead. it nearly made me pass tf out!!! the sun was also shining brightly and his stubble was already silvery (thanks to bayern’s season of clownery!) so when the light caught it, it literally shone. each strand was literally p e r f e c t i o n. perfect length, perfect texture (from the looks of it; i didn’t dare touch no matter how much i wanted to bc thankfully i still had one fragile shred of dignity left, and i’m sure kathleen would’ve brought out the shotgun), perfect everything. i was about to have a coronary right then and there.

i’ve thought a lot about what i wanted to say to him if i did get the chance to meet him and talk to him. i remembered all the highs and lows of last season and as he finished signing my shirt, i thanked him and said “good luck, niko. and don’t listen to everything they say; you’ll always have people to stand behind you and the team no matter what.” at least that’s what i thought i said. i don’t really remember bc i was half spaced out. but i must’ve said something to that effect bc he looked up from what he was doing and gave me a big, and dare i say, relieved (?), smile. god, his eyes. they were so green. and soft. and really, really kind.

he was probably surprised that i said that to him, what with my earlier crazed stunt. but of course, ever the gentleman, he said “thank you so much” G O D!!!! HIS ACCENT!!!!! if you haven’t heard him speak in english yet, or just speak at all, now’s the time to google that shit. it’s deadly af on video, but goddamn, like everything else about him in person, it’s truly something else live.

mercifully, when he gave me back my shirt and pen, i still had enough life left in me to ask for a picture before i finally passed out. i never would’ve forgiven myself if i forgot!!!

me: thanks again, niko. is it alright if we take a picture?

niko: sure, of course! (god i love him; also, he loves to say “of course” for some reason sjkdhfdfjsdkfh)

so i had my shirt and sharpie in my left hand, and was trying to work my phone with my right hand. niko sidled up real close to my left side and HOLY FUCKING SHIT. he was so warm. and his arm was f i r m. he was leaning really close and my brain was short-circuiting from trying to memorize every single detail and trying to work my phone camera.

(note: my lock screen is niko drenched in beer after they won the bundesliga. thankfully, i turned off my phone’s auto lock just the night before. imagine if he saw me trying to unlock my phone with his wet self plastered on my screen. i never would’ve survived the shame.)

as i was skin on skin with niko, my organs were literally failing. my hands were shaking and sweating, and my camera just. wouldn’t. set. on. photo. it went to video, to slow mo, to god knows what else. it was already getting embarrassing and i was mumbling apologies to niko bc i was sure i’d already taken more than enough of his time. and i haven’t forgotten that kathleen was still there! still staring at us, at me, and witnessing every single mortifying thing!!!!

niko, literally heaven itself incarnate, was so patient though and just chuckled. oh. fuck. me. his chuckle. y’all know his voice is deep af, right? and you know that certain r a s p that comes with it. well, fuck. he did this deep ass raspy chuckle that went straight down to my loins!!!!! christ on a bike!!!! my inner whore was literally about to jump out!!!!! i’ve fantasized about hearing it in person for so long but jesus fucking christ I WASN’T READY. ALL THIS TIME AND MY BODY STILL WASN’T READY!!!! AND I’M DAMN SURE IT WILL NEVER BE READY!!!!!!!!! NO ONE IS READY FOR THIS ATTACK!!!!!!!!

g o d. anyway, he finally took pity on me. he chuckled (i’m on the brink of death here!!!) and reached for my phone to help me take the goddamn photo. he set it on photo (freaking finally, thanks niko) and we posed for the photo. hell, he was so close again. while i tried to smile and look somehow decent, i just had to take away as much detail as i could before we parted.

1. i already said this, but his h a i r. so soft. and houston was freaking humid. while mine was literally about to turn into a bird’s nest from the humidity, the man just couldn’t look fugly if he tried!!! he literally had NO FRIZZ. damn niko, tell me your secret!

2. his stubble was SO CLOSE. every strand? PERFECTION. no words could adequately describe it. and holy shit, his jawline and cheekbones. if i touched it i could literally lacerate my goddamn hand. and he had no pores??? fucking sexy cryptid

3. his c h u c k l e (he wasn’t chuckling anymore, but that shit stays with you till the end of time)

4. HIS S C E N T.

okay. i have a scent kink. i know. TMI. like this whole write up is one big banner for too much fuckin information. but holy shit. HOLY S H I T. until now i still don’t know how to fully describe, and i probably never will succeed in fully conveying what it was truly like (and if my brain embellished some of it; i was really too far gone to know anything anymore), but fuck. f u c k. he wasn’t wearing perfume or cologne, i’m sure of that. nothing too artificial that stood out to my nostrils. probably bc they were going to train under the houston sun and spritzing was wasted and unnecessary. but remember that he was fresh from the shower, so that was basically his main scent. it was very nice, very crisp, very clean. basically, sexy as hell. classy. panty-melting!!!! hell, i don’t know!!!! you know what i mean!!! idk if it’s from the hotel toiletries (if it was, good job post oak hotel!) or if it’s his own (then i need to know niko! what products do you use???). but yeah. clean and crisp. d***y supreme.

and there was also something else. it must’ve been his natural scent. and god. GOD!!!! a bit woodsy (?) and quite sweet. i’ll stop there before i say something that REALLY crosses the line.

so my thumb moves, and we take the photo. ONE FREAKING PHOTO. that’s all i managed. i wasn’t able to look at it until my uber ride to the mall later on, and i really would’ve liked more to take with me and stare at when i’m....lonely. but it was magically HDR, and i looked passable. and niko. again: perfection!!!! now that i know what he’s like in the flesh, nothing else will ever come close. but this does come quite close.

after the photo was taken, i manage to squeak out another “thanks.” niko smiled again (kill me one last time, why don’t you) and squeezed my arm lightly before saying goodbye and finally going up the bus. kathleen could breathe a sigh of relief now.

i don’t know how long i stood there. surely not that long since i still got to take pics with serge, manu, and lewy. but it did feel like forever and i haven’t shaken myself out of it. as i’m writing this, exactly one week later after it happened, i still haven’t shaken myself out of it. i don’t think i ever could.

i’m just thankful to whichever deity made this happen. my houston trip was finally complete (i haven’t met everyone yet at that point, but i just somehow knew deep inside that it would all work out). i got what i came for and more. my extension was not only worth it, but completely priceless. i’ll treasure this whole day and that little moment i got with niko for the rest of my life. that’s for sure.

just to end this, i just wanna say something. i know this was one whole crazy and thirsty post, but seriously. he’s a really nice man. a good man. it wasn’t for more than a few minutes at most, but it felt like forever in my mind. and in that short moment, i just knew he tries his best. i’m a true blue niko stan but even i know he made mistakes. i’m clearheaded enough to acknowledge that. but he tries, and he succeeded. and no matter how calm and cool and collected he always appears to be, you can still see how much it all affects him. hell, he literally grayed in front of our eyes in less than a year. his eyes were a little less bright at the end of the season as compared to his presentation last july. when i gave him that little message of support, i literally saw the relief in his eyes and how much he appreciated it. he and the team have been through quite the ordeal last season, and there are no guarantees it will be easier this time around.

you don’t have to like him, you know. but please. a little basic human respect still goes a long way.

there, i said my piece. and it’s done! thank you, fc bayern, for being so nice and game and all-around wonderful. thank you, kathleen krüger, for staying calm long enough to let me have my moment with niko. and thank you, niko, just for being... you. now here’s the ONE picture i’ll treasure for the rest of my life:

[punkscowardschampions]

James & Ava

James: [let's say he puts up an insta of those bubs playing with those torts for her to see] Ava: 🥰 So happy they like 'em, I would've tried to get a real one but they were not fitting in the hand-luggage and apparently that's illegal 🤷 James: [ages later like] James: picking you up from A&E is one thing, a holding cell is quite another Ava: I understand, there's fast and then there's that Ava: thank GOD my Dad will front my bail 😏 James: & your brother's practically a lawyer so there's that Ava: If it weren't him I'd raise questions about having a 'basically' lawyer take my case but yeah Ava: do the torts have names yet? Ava: keep me posted tah James: they do James: Clover & Dandy Ava: 👏 Ava: very creative, very cute Ava: must take after you James: Matty's suggestions were all rejected for being too confusing, which in my opinion was slightly brutal of Jay, but I do also see her point Ava: 😂 Ava: They can have some confusing but adorable nicknames Ava: I couldn't say either my brother or sister's names for the longest time Ava: stuck being 'Uster and 'Ancy James: & yet if the roles were reversed they'd have had such an easy time James: yet more evidence you're a 😇 Ava: and very easy to spell when I got to School, thanks mum and dad Ava: you were alright, 'til it gets to your surname, bit unfair that James: I used to just do a J James: ironic now but I didn't like writing much when I was younger James: added the a & y later when everyone started calling me it Ava: It must've been something, to get to pass that on James: she did it without asking me James: but I know she could have fared a lot worse Ava: Oh, really Ava: I guess that's a thoughtful gesture on her part James: from an outsiders perspective, yes, but I understand why she actually did it Ava: Why? James: because she wanted me to step up & it was the most obvious way there is to say that she's mine & I had to Ava: Ah, that makes sense Ava: in that case, thoughtful as in well thought out but not beyond that Ava: she took your name from you that's James: I'm happy for Jay to have it now though, she'd hate a 'girly' name James: I would have had to find a nickname she could bear to be called in that instance Ava: Yes, at least she's the one who actually has the name, that's never gonna feel bad James: I don't remember where Matilda's came from, we were barely speaking then James: so that does feel worse Ava: at least there's an excellent book and character waiting James: very true James: & she had terrible parents Ava: You won't be getting a hat glued to your head any time soon James: today I won't, we've all learned so many 🐢 facts Ava: Go for esio trot first James: I will, I haven't read it before James: thank you, Ava Ava: You'll like it, and for Roald Dahl, it's pretty sweet Ava: no bad ideas before bed time, like James: does it have a happy ending? Ava: It does Ava: for humans and 🐢 alike James: I've missed you Ava: I've missed you Ava: Obviously couldn't commit the cliche of meeting me off the plane, but when can I see you? James: what are you doing tomorrow? Ava: Avoiding unpacking Ava: I think I've got a brunch date but beyond that, I'm free James: my dad is out of the office all day if you'd like to come & visit me Ava: I'd like that a lot Ava: I definitely will Ava: that'll be okay, right James: she's not going to also decide to visit me James: or talk to anyone that could see you doing so Ava: okay good Ava: Obviously you've thought it through but got a 😇 rep to protect James: I'll never be reckless when your halo is at stake, I assure you James: it's very important to me Ava: What about my 😈 Ava: You can do something about them too, yeah? James: absolutely James: those horns need to stay sharp, of course Ava: God you're hot James Ava: I've missed you so much you have no idea because I lack the words to explain it in any way that would convey just how hard it's been being so far away from you Ava: but I am very much ready to show you tomorrow Ava: and I'm not just talking about the holiday snaps that were not suitable for public display James: It's vital that the protagonist of my 1st novel is very multifaceted 😇 & 😈 which is why I wouldn't write it about just anyone James: I'll show you tomorrow, why it has to be you Ava: I'm so glad that it's me Ava: fuck James: I've lost hours thinking about the tan lines you potentially do or don't have, I'm very invested Ava: I have a strict no spoilers policy Ava: all will be revealed James: but I need to know Ava: 😏 Ava: It does seem cruel and unusual to make you wait when you've already been waiting so long Ava: too 😈 perhaps James: but sending gifts was very 😇 James: what decision are you going to make? Ava: It was just a little something Ava: if I had to get something every time I thought about you, we're talking grains of sand on the beach level Ava: I can't send you pictures, can I James: no, she has an app that restores any pictures I delete Ava: Hmm James: that said, you don't have any tattoos or anything clearly identifying Ava: that's true Ava: can she see the account of who's sent the pictures Ava: because it doesn't have to be me who sends them, or anyone else that actually exists to hunt down James: how many times are you going to go above & beyond to prove to me that you're too smart for King's? James: I believed you on the 1st tour Ava: I can be smart as long as we need to be smart Ava: and I had to make sure you wanted to talk to me after the 1st tour, of course James: I wanted to talk to you before the 1st tour, you know that Ava: I know Ava: Can I ask you something, if you promise to be honest James: yes Ava: Did you think badly of me for trying to pursue you when I knew you were married Ava: or what did you think of me, I guess James: I was too busy being glad that you wanted to James: but of course I wondered why James: I still wonder what it is that you could ever be interested in about me Ava: I can't profess to giving it particular or cohesive prior thought myself Ava: we both allowed some recklessness that day, clearly Ava: and I know you do, I'll write you a book one day Ava: but it'll take me a while to get down everything I find interesting and worthwhile about you James: I can wait Ava: Good Ava: One job at a time Ava: and this profile is looking pretty realistic and is as close to untraceable as is possible Ava: but I'm assuming she doesn't moonlight for MI5 James: do you? James: because you perhaps should Ava: 😏 Ava: Only to write my award-winning, world-changing exposé James: you're going to be a spectacular journalist Ava: Thank you 😊 Ava: I'll spare waxing lyrical about the vitality of a free press, don't think the readers will be about it when we could be talking more about my tan lines James: please do continue James: on whatever subject you feel the most passionate Ava: [a message request from this fake profile moment] James: [immediately accepts and immediately dies] James: oh Ava: you said passionate James: I did Ava: You're a subject I can get really worked up about, like James: I can see that James: & feel it Ava: Good Ava: Are you allowed to send photos to a fake girl or no? James: I don't care if the fake girl gets discovered James: she means nothing to me Ava: Poor fake girl Ava: still, can't be all bad James: it's not James: because now I can show you how much you mean James: [and does because FINALLY can send each other whatever they want] Ava: [what a glorious moment also over here like don't say ily don't say ily] Ava: OH James: Thrilled as I am to be behind a locked door, I'd be even gladder if you were here too Ava: yeah I Ava: feel that Ava: really feel it James: it's my turn to ask you a question James: do you want to hear the story of what would happen if we currently had all the time we could possibly want to really delve into 2 weeks of thoughts, dreams & wish fulfilment or do you want a narrative that's more realistically framed, so unfortunately there's not much opportunity for description or dialogue but instead every second is intensely action driven because we don't have a single one to waste? Ava: The latter Ava: I know the story, as the protagonist I've been living it with you Ava: Call mystery girl, she'll be as quiet as she can James: [does of course] Ava: Well James: I'm speechless James: but still here Ava: Please stay Ava: I hope you can stay James: I'll try Ava: Remember I told you this is different James: yes Ava: I really haven't felt like this before Ava: is what I'm saying Ava: I'm even more sure this is entirely new now James: understood James: I know you understand that it's the same for me Ava: I do James: Ava James: please stay too Ava: I will Ava: Literally nowhere else I'd rather be Ava: or no one else James: I'll try to understand that Ava: I'll try to make it clearer Ava: long as that may take Ava: not a quitter James: you've also never been unclear Ava: But you should know by now Ava: you know James: that's my error, not yours Ava: Shh James: I can't because Ava: Why? James: none of the blame for what I don't know rests on you Ava: but Ava: yeah, that's true Ava: but there's more ways I could show you Ava: tell you James: are there? Ava: yeah Ava: but you know Ava: scary James: that I do know for definite Ava: You don't think I'm 🙀 James: I think you're brave James: but you recognise when to be cautious Ava: I recognize it Ava: I rarely want to be cautious though James: we wouldn't have a story if you did Ava: 😏 okay Ava: I feel less bad James: don't feel bad at all James: please Ava: okay Ava: I'll try Ava: if you do James: you shake Frank's paw & I'll shake a 🐢's James: arm? whatever they have Ava: 🥰 you are so fucking cute Ava: and it's a deal James: [sends her a pic of him doing it because he can now #nerd] Ava: [send a video of Frank mugging her off like get away from me mother] James: 😂 Ava: I still agree to the terms and conditions Ava: he's just a diva and thinks I'm trying to give him an unwanted manipedi James: I can relate to the dread of an unwanted makeover James: tell him I apologise for laughing Ava: Dad duties? James: the reality of a very controlling wife Ava: 😑 Ava: Well we'll go shopping, one day James: only if Jay can come too, nobody hates having no influence over their own wardrobe more than she does Ava: Of course Ava: she's got to meet Frank James: she would love to, you honestly have no idea Ava: One day soon Ava: I can handle bumping into you at the park without being too 😍 James: I don't know whether to be happy or sad that you can apparently handle that Ava: I'm nothing if not over-ambitious Ava: and over-confident James: I like both of those things about you Ava: There's nothing I don't like about you James: I got it really wrong, you're not trying to age me, you're trying to kill me Ava: Never Ava: What would I do without you? James: you'd survive, as you're always saying Ava: 🥺 Ava: no James: it's okay, we don't have to find out James: I want you with me, not without me Ava: I need you James: Ava James: I haven't got in it me to walk away again, I mean it Ava: Then don't Ava: it isn't what I want Ava: but as well, I really don't think it's right, for you or for anyone, me included Ava: It wouldn't be easy, at all, but if I thought this was wrong, I wouldn't do it, I'd have to stop, somehow James: I know Ava: I'm not a bad person Ava: and neither are you James: you're a good person James: & being with you isn't what makes me a bad one Ava: You're a good one Ava: one of my favourites James: no, but you make me want to be better at being a person James: because you're one of my favourites too Ava: We're all just trying to get better at being people, yeah James: most of us Ava: The rest are gonna wake up and realize they wasted a lot of time pretending they had it all figured out, too late James: I'm so happy I met you Ava: That is definitely very mutual James: even if this all goes wrong again tomorrow or any time before how long we want it to last, I want you to know I won't be sorry about the start or the middle Ava: That means more than that phrase can convey James: & I want to emphasise I'm not only saying so because everything else in my life is going horribly James: if I was happy I'd want to share that with you too Ava: I love you James: Ava Ava: I couldn't not say it anymore, I'm sorry James: I don't want you to be sorry if you're not Ava: I'm not sorry that I mean it, or feel it Ava: but I am if I crossed a boundary James: you can say anything to me Ava: Well Ava: there it is James: what are we going to do about it? Ava: Up to you really Ava: we don't have to do anything Ava: do we? James: but that wouldn't be right James: things shouldn't go on as they are Ava: Sometimes they have to though Ava: anyway, does it even count as a declaration of love if I don't run to your house in the pouring rain in something made of white silk, like James: it counts that you're the 1st adult who has honestly said that to me Ava: Then I'll say it again Ava: I love you, James James: Then we need to find a way to be together properly Ava: Yeah? James: yes James: you can't be this important & the other most important person in my life not know that you exist James: or never have woken up next to me James: I still have no idea how beautiful you look when you're asleep Ava: We'll work it out Ava: be together properly James: I promise James: because I have no intention of breaking it Ava: I'm thinking maybe you want me dead too James: not even hypothetically James: I need you too much Ava: My legs feel like they ache from not being allowed to come run and find you right now James: I keep accidentally hurting you, don't I? James: Frank has no skills as a masseur I assume? James: IOU Ava: I'm holding you to that one like it's a bonafide promise too James: good James: because while I don't technically have any skills of my own, I'm confident you'll let me know if you like my attempts or not Ava: fake girl might be quiet as a mouse but that's not my style unless absolutely necessary James: that's why you're my favourite & she's my scapegoat Ava: 🥰😏 I can only be so sorry James: well, it's fine because apologies aren't what I wanna hear Ava: All I wanna hear is my alarm so it means I get to see you today James: almost looking forward to going to the office myself James: how unusual Ava: They're so welcome for the boost in morale, like James: if I could keep you on my desk all day, I would Ava: When the novel is ready and you're ready to be fired, then we can do that James: okay James: I'll pull a few more all-nighters James: see if I can't get these chapters finished Ava: I'll nap beside you Ava: at my most inspiring when I 😴 James: I find it hard to believe you'd be anything other than distracting Ava: Who, me? 😇 James: yes, you James: you're very beautiful, you know Ava: 😊 Ava: You're lovely James: it's true, you make me wish I knew how to paint Ava: You make me wish a lot of things, I get that James: tell me one day Ava: Every wish? James: yes Ava: Okay Ava: we can count how many have come true James: until they all have Ava: Happily ever after James: it would be over ambitious & over confident of me to suggest I'm capable of giving you anything close & I'm not anything close to being either Ava: You're just less talk, more make it happen Ava: you've shown that plenty already Ava: I believe in you, I always tell you James: I can always feel how sincere you're being when you do Ava: Good 'cos I don't lie Ava: even to be nice James: I like that about you most of all Ava: If I wasn't conceited before 😂 James: you weren't, it's fine Ava: Well Ava: 🤏 Ava: but it is fine Ava: not not fine enough to warrant stopping you complimenting me James: you couldn't stop me, darling Ava: is that so? James: of course James: even if you made me speechless again, compliments don't have to be spoken Ava: 🤤 Ava: can we put that to the test James: give me a minute James: [a dramatic pause that's longer than either of them would like] Ava: James? James: okay, test me Ava: How though? James: how do you think you can 😶? Ava: Oh, that's easy Ava: I just need the help of a friend James: it's easy to give you compliments Ava: I know, that's why I've gotta go hard over here Ava: bear with James: take all the time you need Ava: I won't need that long Ava: don't like wasting time with you ever James: are you saying you think you've already lost? Ava: Um, no Ava: I'm saying it won't be long until you can see the finished product and be 😶 Ava: how rude of you 😏 James: then it couldn't possibly be a waste of time Ava: [sends him a video on the fake profile] Ava: might wanna turn your sound way down James: well, now I want to turn it up Ava: do so at your own risk Ava: I'm very much alone rn so I could be as loud as is necessary James: [sends her a pic so she knows how into that video he was because worth a thousand words] Ava: Now that is a compliment James: like I said, it's easy to be complimentary towards you Ava: I can see that 🤭 James: I need to see you James: why the fuck isn't it tomorrow yet? Ava: It's actually so unfair Ava: dunno if we can claim starcrossed but you know James: it'll feel less tragic once I get in the shower & can actually turn the volume up Ava: You're really gonna inspire a sequel that easily, huh James: a saga James: longer than Twilight Ava: would just about see us through 'til morning Ava: me @ brunch 🥴 James: I'm wide awake if you are Ava: Of course Ava: new challenge Ava: make you speechless and get you to 💤 pass out, like James: I'm not sure if it's an advantage or disadvantage that I haven't slept well for the last 6 years Ava: We'll work that out together Ava: but wait Ava: say night now so I don't miss it later James: it'll definitely prove helpful in the morning since we have a habit of leaving cups of coffee untouched when we're together James: Oh Ava, you're so sweet James: goodnight for later, my darling Ava: True Ava: and Edward is so jealous Ava: you can't help being more interesting Ava: or better at sweet talk James: we'll make everyone jealous, one day James: when you're my girlfriend Ava: I can't wait Ava: legitimately James: me either Ava: Did you have many girlfriends before Ava: or just do hookups James: I didn't have any girlfriends before Ava: suppose you didn't have much time, nah Ava: not for serious ones James: I didn't want a serious one in school & my parents absolutely didn't want me to have one either, for all the good that did Ava: Makes sense Ava: parents rarely get what they want though, like you said James: I was having too much fun not being serious about anything, until I wasn't any more Ava: That's a lot of people Ava: if there's a time for it James: that's everyone I knew then & a lot of different people I also know now Ava: Yeah, it is a bit like they typecast this entire area most of the time James: I'll make every attempt to avoid it when I set the scene in my novel Ava: like you said too, fun 'til it ain't Ava: I always leave before then James: I always did too, until I got to rehab & leaving was no longer an option James: kind of its unique selling point Ava: How long ago was that? James: it's been years Ava: What did you go in for, if you don't mind me asking James: do you remember that expensive drug habit I mentioned as being one of the only things I used to care about? it honestly was Ava: I was just worried you were meant to be sober Ava: 'cos that would've been really awkward Ava: that's amazing though Ava: well done James: I'm mostly sober but sometimes I fuck that up, which is awkward, you're right Ava: I'm sorry Ava: that night was totally my idea, I steamrolled you so hard James: it was my bad idea to get drunk, that's not your fault James: it's also not your fault that I did something I shouldn't to try & stop myself from doing something else that I'd convinced myself that I shouldn't James: because I'm well aware of how well that doesn't work Ava: Alright Ava: but I'll be more supportive now I know, for the record Ava: though I see your logic there, even if it didn't exactly go to plan James: it went according to an even better plan James: because here we are James: & I don't want to spoil your fun, Ava Ava: I can't even claim it as my plan, sadly Ava: 'cos I couldn't even imagine we'd get here Ava: and you won't, you don't Ava: there's more than one way to have fun Ava: every time I've met up with you has been fun and I was only drinking one of those times so safe to say it isn't required, like James: tomorrow won't be any different, I promise James: despite the fact my office has never been fun before Ava: yeah but I've never been there before Ava: obviously the issue James: the main issue, absolutely Ava: having your dad as a co-worker is probably a fair 2nd James: technically he's my boss & how often he likes to make that known is the 3rd Ava: ick Ava: 🙄 Ava: he's not getting in the book James: I'll put him in the acknowledgements for spurring me on in getting the chapters done quickly Ava: 😂 A subtle dig is the best kind James: 🖋 vs ⚔ Ava: your 🤓 brain is sexy James: I'll happily say again that everything about you is Ava: I'll be even happier when I can hear you actually say it tomorrow James: you can hear me say it now James: I'll bring you into the 🚿 with me Ava: I love you James: [okay we skipping to tomorrow for my evil cockblocking deeds] James: Teddy's here Ava: Oh Ava: to visit or put in hours? James: the latter apparently, which he has wisely decided to do when my dad isn't here to supervise him Ava: Well, good for him Ava: right, what's the plan then James: I'm gonna go get Matty, she might as well here too since you can't be James: maybe she'll annoy him enough that he'll leave earlier than he's currently planning to Ava: Cross my fingers, like Ava: she's pretty sweet overall though James: Teddy really doesn't like children though Ava: I can't imagine him interacting with one tbf Ava: keep me posted then, I guess James: he dropped Jay when she was a bit older than Matty, it can't have helped matters James: if nothing else I'll try & leave earlier than I actually need to when I go to pick her up James: it won't give us long but it's the best I can do Ava: Kids are made of sturdy stuff, if my fam has taught me anything Ava: bless him Ava: that's cool Ava: the girls were going on to the shops so I'll just join them James: okay Ava: can't be helped, can it James: not yet James: but I'm still sorry Ava: not your fault James: [sends her all the deets because he's booked her a massage since he can't give her one & she's now got loads of spare time, like ILY babe] Ava: You didn't have to do that Ava: but as far as 2nd best options go Ava: I've lucked out there, thank you James: I'm aware how frustrating all of this is, in every possible aspect of the word James: so hopefully this will help Ava: It is Ava: but you're worth it to me so I'm in if you are Ava: though probably warn me beforehand if it's that kind of massage, otherwise it could get awkward James: 😂 I have heard she's very good but I can't personally vouch for whether or not that's why she's as highly recommended as she is James: you'll have to let me know Ava: 😏 I'll let you know if your friends are shameless perverts or not, yeah James: thank you James: it would be useful information to have because both my parents have separately been there Ava: 😬 Ava: do you reckon that's ever happened Ava: having an affair with the same person by accident James: it must have at some point Ava: I mean, a thruple is the last resort of every middle-aged couple wanting to reignite things so give it a go James: thank god I'm not yet middle aged & my marriage is dead in the water James: it was strange enough when a friend made a pass at me at a party who I know had slept with her previously without seeking us it out Ava: as much as it pains me you aren't, babe Ava: she's not my type either sorry James: understandable, he wasn't mine Ava: you straight? James: shocking, I know Ava: Again, tragically not but I thought I better check 😉 James: as much as she'd probably love that to be the reason I want to leave her, it's not Ava: That cliche really is played out though James: agreed, it's not one of my preferred cliches Ava: Fine, fine, I WON'T sleep with the masseuse, you don't have to beg James: if you could not sleep with anyone else, regardless of their profession, that'd be a relief Ava: 'Course I won't Ava: I love you, there'd be no point James: I miss you so much Ava: I know, I miss you too Ava: not just because all my friends seem to have got new boyfriends at once that they all had to talk about James: two fake profiles would be a step too far, right? Ava: 🤏 just Ava: anyway, fake girl means nothing Ava: I don't wanna claim fake boy either, just you James: maybe you should come to the office & let Teddy see you, it would get everything out in the open Ava: I don't think you're ready for that, are you James: there is no way to ready myself for it though, is there? Ava: There's some ways Ava: even if you know your wife is obviously gonna be a nightmare regardless Ava: can ease everyone else in Ava: maybe mention you've met someone to him? see how he is with that first James: I don't really want to involve him to such a dramatic degree, yours is a much better idea Ava: Believe me, I wanna be there as much as you want me there Ava: but I don't wanna fuck it up James: me either, it's gotten so bad with her James: as bad as it's ever been Ava: What are you going to do? James: I don't know, I tried to leave when...after I left you & James: well, I'm still there, aren't I? Ava: It's really fucking complicated Ava: and that's an understatement Ava: it will probably be worse after, when you do leave Ava: but then, when she can't follow through with her threats, 'cos it's all bullshit, what can she do, you know what I mean James: she's said things that mean I can't risk leaving her alone with the children at all now James: not that I particularly did before but there were things I believed she'd do then & things I didn't actually Ava: You'd have to take them with you Ava: so that means you need to keep your place Ava: but I assume the chances of her leaving are slim to none Ava: unless Ava: hmm James: she's said she wants to go, start over, but that means nothing James: I know she'd refuse to just to spite me Ava: Appearance is everything with her, yeah? James: it is Ava: you need to do something that will make her leave then, feel like she's made the decision Ava: like if you were gay, something that she can't make go away on the socials James: we can't have a baby just so she'll fuck off Ava: No, I can't even have news of a fake baby getting back to my parents Ava: but seriously Ava: if we did out us, show people we were Ava: would she find a way to hack that or no? James: she'd find a way to destroy your entire life Ava: No she wouldn't Ava: she's doing that to yours, has been for too long James: she would, Ava James: she's done it before, to your sister, to any other girls she's found out about James: & I didn't even care about them the way I do about you Ava: What could she possibly say about me? Ava: I'm a homewrecker? If she wants everyone to know how unhappily married she is Ava: Everyone knows all about my weird family, I've dealt with that for years Ava: Anything she could say, I'd own up to or I'd prove wrong, she doesn't control my narrative James: even if you are right, she still controls mine James: my children's James: I'm not allowed to just take them, am I? She'll have me arrested or something Ava: Only mentally Ava: you can break that, you will Ava: 'cos she doesn't provide any finances, she doesn't look after the kids, what does she offer, like Ava: there is no hold over you but her mental one Ava: Your name is on their birth certificates too, you're as entitled to be with them Ava: anyway, you don't have to go anywhere, who owns your flat, like? James: my dad owns everything Ava: Yeah, your dad Ava: He's not going to put his grandkids out, even if he doesn't side with you Ava: and if it comes to it, he'll have to have you both out whilst you sort out the divorce Ava: there's no way she's automatically entitled to that flat, it isn't either of yours Ava: and she's not automatically entitled to the kids, especially with all the worrying things she's said, yeah James: but I'm not either, I'm an addict Ava: Recovered, literally went to rehab Ava: and let's be honest, half this town is on it to that degree but they're not owning up and calling it a problem Ava: you did that and you sorted it out James: what if they aren't actually mine? James: she's cheated as much as I have Ava: Oh, James Ava: I don't know Ava: you could find out Ava: if you were ready for that but Ava: I see the appeal of not knowing Ava: she probably does though, if she's thought to use it against you before, it's at least crossed her mind too James: as much as she's said it, I've never actually believed her James: but what if I find out that they aren't, it'll be the end, nothing else that we've just said would even have any relevance James: I can't lose them, Ava, I'd rather stay with her forever than let that happen Ava: Of course Ava: they're yours, you raised them Ava: does she Ava: stupid question but does she actually want them? James: no James: she told me she never did, either of them Ava: I don't Ava: as spiteful as she is Ava: would she keep two kids she doesn't love or want Ava: what about her parents, what do they think? James: they're both at their wits end Ava: They'd back you, then James: they know they can't back her James: too much has happened that her mum knows about Ava: If you have proof and people backing you that she's unfit to be the sole provider, then she'd have to sort out visitation and work with you Ava: and I can't see her bothering, if she means all she's said Ava: but Ava: I don't know Ava: it's scary James: if she knows it's you I'm with, I honestly couldn't guarantee anything with regards to what she would or wouldn't do James: her strange obsession with your siblings is something I've never quite understood Ava: None of this is about me, or my wellbeing Ava: I don't care, there's nothing she can do to me Ava: if that was all we were worried about I'd move myself in today but it ain't James: but what I'm saying is, she could go further than we're thinking she would with regards to the children because she doesn't want me to be happy with you specifically James: not just because she doesn't want me to be happy ever Ava: Okay, I get it Ava: So you'll either stay, forever Ava: or she'll take the kids and you'll have to battle in the courts to see them James: that's how it appears James: & if they aren't mine, she just takes them if I don't stay forever Ava: That's why if you do decide to leave Ava: you need to know that first James: I'm scared to know it Ava: That's understandable Ava: there's few things scarier that I can think of James: Matty wouldn't remember if I disappeared from her life now but Jay needs me Ava: You aren't going to just disappear Ava: whatever you decide, whatever happens, we won't let it be that James: can you forget everything I said about trying to be sober, please, I really need a drink James: lots of drinks actually Ava: Tell whoever you need to that you need to go home, okay Ava: then come meet me Ava: I shouldn't have started this conversation right now, I'm so sorry Ava: come be with me James: I can't, you've got a massage to get to & that's the least of what's expected of me James: not leaving Ava: Okay, have you got Matty? Ava: Because go do that then, spend some time with her James: I don't think I should, she'll pick up on how I feel & then nobody'll get any work done Ava: Alright, are you sure you want to stay, you'll be alright? James: I'll be fine Ava: I'll leave you to it then Ava: try to distract yourself, sure Teddy will help you James: I'll talk to you later Ava: Sure, no worries James: [later] James: I'm sorry Ava: I totally get it Ava: well, I don't, but I totally get that too Ava: I'm sorry as well James: everything is indescribably terrible Ava: Yeah Ava: it's bad James: I'm so sorry, Ava Ava: You don't have to say sorry to me Ava: I chose what I chose Ava: you didn't know what you were signing up for, how could you James: now you know what you're signing up for, if you don't want to be any more, I understand Ava: Don't say that James: I have to say it Ava: Now you have then but I'm ignoring you James: please don't Ava: I could never, you know how I feel Ava: that's not changing, it can't James: I know & you know I don't want it to Ava: I just wish there was something I could do Ava: to actually help James: you do help James: more than I can find words to express Ava: I'm not gonna bring it all up again but Ava: all I can think is we have two spare rooms at mine, alright Ava: if you ever need them James: what about your parents? Ava: I could talk to them Ava: and both rooms have bathrooms, and it's only me on that floor as well so the girls wouldn't have to feel like they've got to meet loads of new people James: but what could you possibly say? Ava: As much of the truth as they need to know Ava: Don't worry about that, they're easier to sort than any of the rest of this, yeah James: I'm fairly certain that'd be the whole truth & that wouldn't be easy Ava: They're big rooms, the girls could share or you could have one with Matty Ava: I'm saying, we don't have to say you could as easily share mine James: I wouldn't want someone as fucked up as me going out with either of my daughters Ava: You aren't Ava: it'll just be the age gap but they'll get over that Ava: anyway, the space is there, that's about all I've come up with since earlier James: thank you James: for even trying to come up with anything while I've just been James: again, I don't know what the word is, or could be Ava: You needed to stop Ava: as much as you ever can James: & now I need to see you but it can never just be that simple Ava: Does Jay have anything on tonight, like a club or a lesson or? James: ballet, so I have to stay because she hates it Ava: Fair enough Ava: Is lunch tomorrow an option or? James: I'll make sure it is Ava: Okay, I'll see you then Ava: could you do a phonecall during ballet, even for five minutes Ava: just so I can hear your voice, tell you all the things I wanna James: no promises Ava: of course James: aren't you glad you came back from holiday to all this Ava: I wasn't planning to stay there forever regardless Ava: you know how much I missed you Ava: still do James: tell me about it, or the massage, or your friends' boyfriends, anything that isn't the subject of my misery Ava: It was a good massage Ava: though the way my shoulders killed, you wouldn't think I'd just been on holiday Ava: you definitely need to try it yourself James: I'll book us in together next time Ava: That'll be perfect James: but before I do, did she try & seduce you? Ava: 😂 Ava: not enough to convince me I need to go back every fortnight 💔 James: did you not tell her I've got a best selling novel to write? Ava: Of course Ava: doing the hard sell on everyone for you, babe James: I appreciate it, very much Ava: I appreciate you Ava: What time will you be back, I'll uber eats you something for dinner Ava: you must be exhausted James: only if you order the same thing, it'll almost be like having dinner together Ava: You have the best ideas James: [a time that he'll be back] Ava: It's a date James: I'll dress up for you James: get out of these work clothes Ava: 😳 'scuse you Ava: warn me before you're gonna be that hot please James: if you were warned, you'd be less likely to 😳 Ava: I'll always blush for you Ava: like it or not James: you know how much I like it Ava: I seriously wish you were here Ava: such a waste of pink James: I wish you were here Ava: Gutted my ballet days are behind me James: she doesn't want to go, is there anywhere we actually could meet? Ava: With the kids? Ava: I hear that new soft play does a good coffee James: okay Ava: It's one place adults are actually encouraged to chat to each other so it won't be weird to Jay James: as soon as I tell her she doesn't have to put her tutu on, that's all she'll care about Ava: Bless her James: not to mention the bun, that's a war I'm happy to call a ceasefire on Ava: I'll put my hair down Ava: not trigger her 😂 James: just me then 😍 Ava: it's still a date, like Ava: got to keep you on your toes James: can we draw the line at a pirouette though please? I'm very tired Ava: alright, another time 😏 James: tomorrow maybe Ava: you'll feel up to it then? Ava: planning on a 💤 night of sleep James: you said the coffee's good James: if I actually manage to drink it, who knows Ava: Don't you know you're too big for the ball pit? James: that's an outrageous thing to say! after the day I've had, I couldn't deserve a ball pit more James: you've really devastated me there Ava: Okay, okay, I'm sorry Ava: sneaky hold my hand under the balls? Ava: please James: regardless of your apology, I'm gonna have to throw you in James: so yes Ava: 😱 Ava: now that's actually outrageous James: 😏 Ava: 😈 Ava: how you play James: with you Ava: so inappropriate to make me 😳 in soft play James: oh, so you want best behaviour? James: I can do that too Ava: No Ava: never said that Ava: I might like inappropriate James: I also think you might, let's find out Ava: 🥰 Ava: Let's James: Ava James: I seriously don't know what I would do without you James: no, that's wrong actually, I do. I'd be in such a state right now, really drunk or worse James: because it's not talking about it that's the problem James: we have to keep talking about it, okay? James: I have to figure out what I'm going to do Ava: I love you, James Ava: of course we can keep talking, I'm not going to leave you Ava: whatever you need means just that Ava: you will figure it out Ava: You will not lose them, okay, whatever that takes James: but what you need is just as important & if that's ever taking a step back, not talking about it or whatever else, do it Ava: Of course Ava: I will, I'll try James: good, I've already dragged you into this & I refuse to also drag you down Ava: You'll see how hard it is to do that in the ball pit James: 😂 Ava: Not without a fight, ever James: if they don't use that as the film tagline, such a waste Ava: They might want you as lead for that Ava: negotiations are ongoing James: you're the face, it's non-negotiable Ava: 🥺 I wanna kiss your face James: I want to press my lips against every single bit of your skin, all the time Ava: Oh James: there's never enough hours for everything I want to do with you Ava: Making up for all that lost time should be very, very good James: we're going to need days, weeks, months James: I want to give you that Ava: You can promise James: can I? Ava: Yeah Ava: we'll find a way, right? James: I promise you Ava: 💙 Ava: I promise you it'll get better James: of course, there's no crying in the ballpit Ava: not even when I beat you James: hypothetically not even then, but you won't so it's no problem Ava: 😏 that's fighting talk James: yes, it very much is Ava: Don't try to swoon your way to victory Ava: I'm definitely not that easy, nope James: I'm not Mr Darcy James: we can both do better than that James: that said, I am wearing a white shirt Ava: Shame there's not a good lake around James: but we should still go swimming some time Ava: Only if you pick the bikini Ava: tradition now James: of course, I'd hate to break tradition Ava: take you off the alumnus James: & then how would I meet girls Ava: 😲 Ava: Cheek James: that's all it is, I assure you Ava: not a threat then? James: no James: I'm not planning to lose you in the ball pit Ava: Good luck Ava: take more than a subtle hint to get rid of me, babe James: it'd be very bad luck Ava: 🍀 James: how soon can you be there? Ava: it isn't far, is it Ava: 15-20 minutes James: okay Ava: You better show up first so I can tell 'em I'm meeting you Ava: convincing a not-bothered 6-year-old I have an imaginary child is one thing Ava: reception will just be getting 🚨 James: I'll let you know when we do Ava: 👍 Ava: I'm looking forward to it Ava: even if it'll be odd to leave it at a kiss on the cheek James: & very odd for you & Jay to finally be in the same place Ava: Yeah, you sure you're alright with it? Ava: No doubt she'll totally blank me, who wouldn't when faced with the joy of soft play James: obviously it's far from ideal for me or you but Ava: I just wanna see you Ava: I'm fine with it James: I know I should probably care more but I swear, if this day ends without seeing you James: I will actually lose my mind Ava: We're not doing anything wrong Ava: you can't help it if random women talk to you at soft play Ava: have to keep you literally locked up to avoid that so James: It does happen a lot & yet I've so far avoided being chained to the wall Ava: Exactly Ava: not even anything noteworthy Ava: and I'm not gonna like Ava: overstep or be too much with either of the girls, you don't need to worry Ava: I wouldn't do that, or anything you weren't comfortable with James: I'm not worried about that James: I'd never have brought Matty over to your house if I thought it was going to make either of us feel uncomfortable Ava: 'Course Ava: you're a good dad James: but if you do feel anything close to it, with Jay or with anything, just tell me Ava: I will Ava: You're doing this well, you know James: I'm trying to Ava: And if she ever says, you know Ava: she doesn't like me or whatever Ava: then you can tell me and we won't meet when you have to be with them Ava: take it slower Ava: I know it would make it harder but I know they come first and I'm totally cool with that James: you're doing this really well too Ava: I hope so Ava: it's new territory for both of us, all of us Ava: we'll work this out too James: I trust you, Ava Ava: Thank you Ava: you can Ava: I'm not gonna let you down James: but you can, like you said, we're all just trying to get better at being people, aren't we Ava: Yeah, okay Ava: Too cocky? Ava: I'll try really, really hard not to let you down, but no promises Ava: How's that? James: I don't want you to think that me thinking you're perfect means you have to be James: 😇 & 😈 remember, mistakes are what rewrites exist for & I already made mine in trying to let you go James: you're allowed to get it wrong too Ava: I just really don't want to hurt you James: I don't want to hurt you either Ava: as long as we know that, even if we do by accident or whatever Ava: that's better, isn't it Ava: than me leaving you alone James: anything would be better than that James: but yes, especially if we know what we want & don't want James: I'd let you hurt me over & over again if it meant you didn't leave but I know that isn't what you want Ava: Never ever Ava: even thinking about it is making me hurt James: so we're not going to let it happen even hypothetically Ava: only fun hypotheticals James: like the traffic not being horrendous so I get to soft play before the children start a riot James: because we're finally ready to go Ava: That's so hypothetical it borders on a pipe dream but maybe the universe will play fair after the day you've had 🙏🤞 James: so much so that I'm hypothetically considering walking Ava: how many hypothetical stops would you have to make 'cos she wants to look at something or pick something up she shouldn't Ava: Frank can make a ten minute walk take a good thirty, easy James: enough that I could hypothetically catch my breath after all the cigarette breaks I've had today & I might not hypothetically pass out Ava: Just thinking of your health, clearly James: I should quit, again Ava: How long did you manage? James: which time? Ava: 😏 most successful time then James: 6 months maybe Ava: Not to be sniffed at Ava: longer than I've gone and I'm a shameless 'social' smoker as if that's alright James: how long have you managed? Ava: However long between whenever I've been offered one Ava: I've not tried really James: do you want me to not offer you any? Ava: Sounds like you need to catch your breath Ava: take that as you will James: okay Ava: 😊 Ava: Tell me when I need to leave James: [a long enough pause] James: you can leave now, if you'd like Ava: On my way Ava: how strict is your sweet policy? James: arguably not as strict as it should be, but I don't share that hypothetical opinion Ava: I'll stop in the shop on the way Ava: now, do I guess and see how my choice rates or do I cheat and ask you what the faves are Ava: 🤔 James: you heard me say I trust you, right? Ava: Okay, I got this James: I believe it & in you, darling Ava: 😍 you could say that again Ava: if you liked James: I've got no end of faith in you, Ava Ava: Ugh, bye Ava: I've melted James: what I'm hearing is that I'm going to have to pour you into the ball pit? Ava: If you can pick me up off the floor, yes Ava: also what I'm hearing is you want a treat too, noted James: of course I'll pick you up Ava: Actually trying to kill me Ava: I'm trying to walk, like James: if I could carry you over the threshold of this soft play centre, I would Ava: Babe 😩 James: not the time nor the place, understood Ava: Sadly not James: when the filmmaker takes certain liberties with the source material, we'll attempt it then Ava: Directors cut, yeah James: yes Ava: right, 'scuse me whilst I focus Ava: 🍭🍫🍬 important decisions to be made James: you're sweeter than any of it Ava: James James: sorry, you need to concentrate 😶 Ava: 😈 you Ava: but 😇 at the same time Ava: how do you do it? James: how do you? Ava: Touche Ava: maybe we're a good match James: I think we are Ava: What a coincidence Ava: Me too James: 🍀 Ava: [do we wanna end it here and just work out how it goes?] James: [yeah we can do] Ava: [I'm saying she went animal-themed and got her like percy pigs and an animal bar and the animal biscuits etc and got Matty some rusks or something soz baby snacks aren't as fun and then got him some candy cigarettes] James: [we all know that'd go down amazingly well done babe & I'm saying the baby made the loudest sound when she saw her again like oh hey girl] Ava: [that would be so cute] James: [we all know they already like each other] Ava: [lbr you haven't got any competition in Chloe, all you need to do is not be a massive bitch] James: [mhhmmm I'm also saying he let Jay decide what she wanted to wear because she deserves that thank you] Ava: [when you're busy living your best life so I assume you'll be alright even if you're like hello stranger?] James: [she'd be in such a good mood thankfully] Ava: [we all deserve this to be a moment, lads] James: [even if it can't be as much of a moment as you'd both like, keep it sneaky lads] Ava: [🐍[ James: [the self control required after the day they've had and how highkey their emotions are rn] Ava: [truly, at least no adults are there to pick up on what is way more than the vibe] James: [the receptionist been knew but who's she telling] Ava: [lmao imagine the amount of people conducting sneaky affairs she stay in her lane] James: [I bet they would cos their kids could not be more distracted] Ava: [its perfect tbh] James: [100% am throwing her in the ballpit excuse us children] Ava: [must be done] James: [let him be young goddamn it, he was robbed] Ava: [be young and have fun] James: [Jau just talking about soft play constantly for the foreseeable but Chloe none the wiser lol] Ava: [gonna steal your kids and your man 'cos you don't want 'em James: [they gotta come back because not only is it a great cover it'd be a really swag soft play like better than the one Louise always goes to even because posh people] Ava: [remember on scummymummies they said that one did booze lol they've got so fancy] James: [you're missing out Chlo, soz not soz] Ava: [literally no one is soz, not even your baby] James: [the baby should have her tort with her because feels] Ava: [awh yas] James: [no other kids steal it thank you] Ava: [baby fight lmao] James: [I hope not because the mum would be so judgey cos he's young & Ava's even younger] James: [not sorry we all serving looks & living our best lives at this soft play] Ava: [no one shall bring them down rn or I'll brawl] James: [but I do hope Jay's hair is the messiest it's ever been because fuck you chloe] Ava: [i always wonder what chloe is actually doing 'cos like, nothing ever is the tea] James: [truly how much shopping can you do girl] Ava: [waiting for your fairytale in your sham of a life, like] James: [ooh Ava should do something with Jay's hair that she actually likes cos maybe she's getting annoyed at it while she's trying to play & live her best life and James is like pikachu meme what is this witchcraft but she thinks he's like 😧 how dare you for the hottest of secs] Ava: [a mood just like lowkey how dare you but also how teach me lmao] James: [just falling more in love with the bae by the second over here] Ava: [queen of understated and simple shoutout to your mother for that one] James: [yas I've always loved that about Bea] Ava: [the levels of fuss Chloe is is not a mood for anyone] James: [one of many reasons Jay hates you babe] Ava: [those poor kids she ends up having like rip] James: [I hope she only dresses James now when they are going out because lord] Ava: [poor boy not a mood] James: [especially now you got the hottest bae ever] Ava: [nothing you can do to cockblock this honey] James: [she should obvs find the fake profile like immediately though] Ava: [we can do that next] James: [& if she messages it Ava will be able to see what she's like] Ava: [the delight that is, okay letgo]

[lokis-little-kitten]

No Man Allowed (Female LokixReader) LGBTQ+ 4

Summary: after being abused in Hydra you have gotten a serious fear of men. Only Natasha, Wanda and Bucky have been able to get closer to you than five until now without you having a panic attack until a mesmerising woman enters your room. Warnings: Angst, panic attacks.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 MASTERLIST

You sit in the large living room chair even though you are one of the smallest people on the team. It has been a week since your secret came out and besides that Loki asks about the fun things every now and then nothing has changed. 

The pictures Natasha took hang on the large photo wall she pushed upon everyone. The wall was empty so she decided to just hang a lot of pics on there. Every now and then someone else hangs up a picture but that is very rare. 

Loki walks in with a serious look on her face. You look up from your book and look at her. ‘’Hey,’’ you squeak. ‘’I think you should start pacing. We can’t stay here any longer.’’ You frown deeply. You put away the book and sit up. 

‘‘What do you mean?’‘ ‘‘Our flight leaves in three hours so we better hurry.’‘ Still confused you just look at her. She holds up two plane tickets and suddenly smiles. ‘‘We are going to visit your husband.’‘ You smile widely and giggle. 

‘‘Ex,’‘ you smile as you run up to her. You throw yourself around her with your legs wrapped around her hips. She quickly grabs you tightly so you don’t fall. You kiss her few times happily. 

Tony who is sitting on the couch- of course, he- breaks you up. ‘’Please get a room.’’ ‘’Sure, yours.’’ Loki turns around and walks towards the rooms. You can see Tony his disgusted face. 

‘‘Don’t you fucking dare!’‘ Loki loudly laughs and putts you down. ‘‘Don’t worry Stark, we don’t have time for that,’‘ she calls over her shoulder before whispering; ‘‘not right now.’‘ You giggle and walk into your room. You walk into your room and quickly pack a large bag with clothes. 

Soon after you and Loki leave for the aeroplane. An eight-hour plane flight you both slept through you end up in your homeland. Soon you are in a taxi towards the hotel you will stay. 

The hotel is luxurious with a large room plus living room. In there Loki jumps on the bed messing it up right away. ‘’Really?’’ She smirks and opens her arms for you. Quickly you snuggle up with her. 

‘‘Thank you for all of this.’‘ She kisses your hair and holds you close. ‘‘So, we can go shopping for a while, eat and stay in the rest of the night and go to the hospital tomorrow or we could go there now and do all that tomorrow and see what we do the last day here?’‘ ‘‘Shopping now sounds perfect.’‘ 

A few hours later you come back with large bags filled to the top with clothes and other things. You also purchased two new bags to take everything home with. 

You eat in the restaurant and go to the movies afterwards. Back in the hotel you just sit at the pool for a moment. An elder lady sits down next to you and smiles. ‘’Newlywed,’’ she asks. You look at her a little surprised. 

‘‘Oh, no. She and I are together for just a few weeks. We are here to visit a friend.’‘ You look at Loki her glorious body as she dives from the one side of the pool to the other. 

‘‘How did you know we are together,’‘ you ask. It is not very usual for to girls to be together, especially not if you do not wear it out. ‘‘The way you look at her. Pure love.’‘ ‘‘I see.’‘ The woman smiles at you. ‘‘You know what you guys should do?’‘ You look up. ‘‘Visit the Anne Frank house. If you buy tickets online you don’t have to wait in line and it is the perfect way to see Amsterdam.’‘ 

Anne Frank.

Where did you hear that name? Somewhere you heard it. If only you could remember! You think deep. Deeper than you ever went. 

Bergen Belsen! That is where you heard it. You were in Bergen Belsen in 1944... 

The man rips off the socks from her lifeless body. ‘’Don’t! You’ll wake her up,’’ the girl next to her calls loudly. Someone else takes the ‘ pillow’  she was laying on. 

The girl cries loudly. You crawl towards her. She looks absolutely horrible. Her hair was shaved off and started to grow back in all different directions. ‘’Who... who was she?’’ She looks at you with empty eyes. 

‘‘Margot, my sister.’‘ ‘‘I’m so sorry for you.’‘ The girl looks back at her body. ‘‘What is your name,’‘ you ask her. ‘‘Anne... Anne Frank.’‘ ‘‘I am Y/N, Y/L/N. I’m sorry but she does not have to suffer anymore.’‘ You look at her body. Her eyes are closed which means she passed away in her sleep. 

‘‘Now she will never be a nurse.’‘ Anne caresses her head a little with her pale and skinny fingers. You just look at her not knowing what to say. You just pull some bread from your dress hiding it for everyone else. 

‘‘Here.’‘ She looks at it with wide eyes. ‘‘You look hungry.’‘ She takes the bread shaking and starts to eat. ‘‘Thank you. How did you get here?’‘ ‘‘I helped Jews hide and got them food. I was in the resistance back in the Netherlands.’‘ She looks up. ‘‘I was hiding in Amsterdam, someone betrayed us and they found us.’‘ ‘‘That is horrible.’‘ 

Suddenly a Nazi is in front of the barrack. ‘’Y/N, Y/L/N. Out, now!’’ Quickly you stand up giving Anne one last look. ‘’Do not give up.’’ You walk to the man who grabs your arm and escorts you to the gates to the camp. 

A van with a weird logo on it is parked in front of the gates. ‘’This is her.’’ They grab your arms and push you in the van. 

Someone lays their wet hands on your face. ‘’Hey, Y/N, wake up.’’ You rip yourself from the memorie and look Loki in her eyes. Apparently, you were crying and shaking.

‘‘It was so horrible,’‘ you cry, ‘‘dead everywhere...’‘ ‘‘Did you remember something?’‘ You only nod. The elderly lady is still next to you but sitting up worriedly. 

‘‘Is she okay?’‘ ‘‘Yeah, post-traumatic stress disorder. Do you know what triggered it?’‘ ‘‘No.’‘ ‘‘Anne... Anne Frank,’‘ you mumble. ‘‘Okay, baby girl, you need to stand for me okay?’‘ Loki pulls you up and helps you back to the room. 

There she just holds you and lets you talk as much as you need. When you are silent for a moment she opens her mouth. ‘’I’m sorry baby girl... I really am.’’ You hide your face in her chest. ‘’I wish I did not remember.’’ Loki runs her hands through your hair trying to calm you down. 

‘‘I’m so sorry, baby girl. Can I do something to make it better?’‘ ‘‘Can we just watch Doctor Who or something?’‘ ‘‘Of course.’‘ Loki stands up and gets the laptop. She starts the laptop and logs in on the hotel wifi. She starts the science fiction show and you watch in silence. 

That night you can’t sleep. What is so special about that girl... about Anne? You crawl out of Loki her arms and pick up the laptop from the edge of the bed. You type in her name. 

Anne Frank. 

Soon you find all kinds of results about her and her diary. You read articles and watch Youtube clips about her. ‘’Y/N? What are you doing, baby girl?’’ You turn your head and stop the video. 

‘‘Looking her up.’‘ Loki sits up and closes the laptop. ‘‘Don’t. Not here and now.’‘ You lay back into her arms. She holds you even closer this time, probably to make sure you don’t sit up again. 

‘‘She died about ten days after I met her.’‘ Loki caresses the side of your face and kisses your temple. ‘‘Sleep, please.’‘ You curl up as you would usually do and close your eyes. 

‘‘I’m scared,’‘ you whisper. ‘‘What for?’‘ ‘‘Bad dreams?’‘ You feel her lips on your forehead. ‘‘Do you want me to enter your mind?’‘ You think for a moment but then answer her. ‘‘Yes please.’‘ 

That night Loki guards you against all the bad dreams that may come your way. 

The next morning you feel a lot better. Loki was right, you needed a good night sleep! You have breakfast and then get ready to go to the hospital. You wear a dress and two braids in your hair, much like you always wore. The dress looks much like the ones people wore in the 40′s and is a dirty yellow colour. 

‘‘Hey,’‘ Loki breaths as she wraps her arms around you and lays her head on your shoulder from behind. ‘‘Do you think he remembers me?’‘ ‘‘I don’t know, little one. Are you ready?’‘ ‘‘Yeah.’‘ 

You leave for the hospital and arrive there not much later. You ask for him and are told where he is. Loki helps you find the room and when you arrive you are pleased to see he is alone. You knock on the door. 

He looks up and calls for you to come in. You do but tell Loki to wait for just a moment. She understands and sits down still looking closely at you through the room. 

‘‘Hey,’‘ you speak softly. ‘‘Hello,’‘ Arnold smiles. You missed his smile and bright eyes. ‘‘Am I dead,’‘ is the first thing he asks, ‘‘are you here to bring me to heaven?’‘ ‘‘No. I am not here to bring you to heaven Arnold.’‘ ‘‘Hell then? I did not see that coming.’‘ You sit down next to his bed and grab his hand. 

‘‘Why do you think I am here to take you?’‘ ‘‘Oh... my dear Y/N, you passed away ages ago. There is no other solution.’‘ ‘‘I never died Arnold. I was taken and kept frozen until they needed me. That is why I still look the same.’‘ He frowns deeply. 

‘‘When I heard you were dying I needed to see you.’‘ He smiles brightly. ‘‘I... I don’t understand.’‘ You squeeze his hand for a moment. ‘‘You don’t need to. Let’s just talk.’‘ He smiles at you. 

‘‘I have missed you so much,’‘ he speaks not long after. Soon you guys talk about all kinds of things when Loki walks in. ‘‘Who is this pretty girl?’‘ You blush a little and grab her hand. 

‘‘My girlfriend, Loki.’‘ ‘‘It is a pleasure to meet you. Careful, though, she is one of my favourite persons in the world. Hurt her and I will hurt you,’‘ Arnold chuckles. ‘‘I will treat her as a princess as long as she will have me.’‘ He smiles widely. ‘‘Good.’‘ 

You turn to Loki and smile. ‘’What is it?’’ ‘’Visiting hour is over.’’ You nod and look back at Arnold. ‘’We have to go...’’ ‘’That is alright. Would you please come back tomorrow?’’ ‘’I will come in the morning.’’ He smiles widely again. ‘’Thank you.’’ You leave again and walk out of the room. 

‘‘So, how was it,’‘ Loki ask you wrapping an arm around. ‘‘Like it always was for some reason... I don’t know it feels like I left yesterday and came back today.’‘ She nods. ‘‘Do you want to stay longer... you know. Until he passes away?’‘ You nod a little. 

‘‘I wish we could.’‘ ‘‘I can pull some strings for you and have us stay longer.’‘ ‘‘I don’t want to burden you,’‘ you mumble, ‘‘I can stay here alone.’‘ ‘‘No, it is fine. I go back tomorrow to pick up more stuff. I hope you don’t mind staying in the hotel?’‘ ‘‘And living of Tony his money, hell no.’‘ Loki chuckles and kisses your forehead. 

You walk out of the hospital and take a train to your hometown. You take pictures and show her your old house. You shop a little more in the afternoon you go back to the hotel and you watch some more Netflix. 

Loki cooks since there is a little kitchen in the hotel. You eat in the living room and watch out the large window. The next morning you see Arnold again who is very pleased to see you. In the evening Loki leaves to pick some things up and explain the plan to other people.

Rogers was, obviously, sold right away. Other wished you guys a good time and supported it... eventually. Loki comes back when everything is sorted and is soon back in your arms... or you in hers.  

Epilogue

AN: It is finally a little longer. I really want to go to chapters of 4000-5000 words and I now stop between the 1000-1300. So I am working on it but baby steps. This chapter is 2081 so that is about 700 more words than usual. I hope you enjoyed! Your feedback is always better to make me a better writer!

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[youwerelikeanangel]

hi there!! ❄️

i think the first thing i ever embroidered was “1D AF” with bright red thread. 2014 was a different time man haha. but embroidering really helped my anxiety so perhaps i’ll pick it back up in the new year! i kinda want to try my hand at origami as well.

that sounds so cute! i love medieval setups. i once went to one for new years, and the turkey legs were the size of my head haha. we were able to host a haunted medieval festival this year so a friend and i went and it was great. they utilized some sick props and stages for their outdoor haunted trail, and it was super immersive.

i’ve finished all i have to do for the week, actually so now i CAN REST!! i’m going to simply not exist until sunday i believe. it’s usually warm where i live (we have lighter winters) but we’ve had a bad cold front that’s chilled me to the bone lmao. my birthday is two weeks away! i think i just have a crisis over age more than anything, and birthdays the past couple of years have felt very steeped in that lousy ideology. hopefully this year will be better though ❤️ you also reminded me that i need to get my yoga in for the day, so thanks for that :) hope your thursday was beautiful ✨

what a glorious sunset and the hanging lights!! perhaps i’m in love ✨✨

OKAY hi there darling that 1D AF thing is so. on brand for all of us. i love it dkskdkdk and origami! that’s so nice as well, one of our family friends gave me a fancy book about it once and beautiful paper she brought back from japan and i loved doing it ❤️

OKAY haunted medieval festival??? that sounds so so cool i love that! did they also talk in these funny medieval sounding words? we don’t get many scary/ haunted things here except for tiny haunted rollercoasters on carnivals but i wish there were more :((

ahhhhh AHHHH happy weekend to you then for real 💙💙💙 i hope you can relax and do nothing and everything your heart desires!! do you like to bake or cook? when i have days off, i always bake a million things and cook a lot dksndndn i made two types of christmas cookies last night and it was so fun to drink mulled wine and bake and sing to christmas music ❄️ and stay warm!!! i’m driving to my parents house in the south of germany on sunday and they’ve had snow and i’m so excited to have snow ykyndnnd ugh and i understand that 🥺🥺 i hope you get to free your head from these thoughts ❤️ i hope your yoga was good!! i spontaneously got my third covid vaccine today and they said i am not allowed to do sports for 3 days so i’m debating with myself whether gentle yoga counts as sports snsnsns

my day yesterday was lovely!! i had to work during the day, i work as a barista in a restaurant but yesterday i just spent a lot of time doing the dishes and talking to my favourite chef and we put on loud music and sang dkskdkdk and then i met my uncle and we walked over the christmas market and had mulled wine heheh ❤️❤️ how was your day today and yesterday?? ❄️💙🎄💘🥰✨

and i’m glad you liked the pics 🥰❤️😌

[lindoig8]

Halls Creek (almost) to Katherine, 15-17 June

Tuesday, 15 June

We were preparing the van to move on when I got a call from Toyota in Katherine where I had made an online booking on Friday night for a car service. They have a 7-week waiting list – do I want to add our car to the list? No thank you, I will look elsewhere. I tried Toyota in Kununurra – their wait-list is only a bit over 6 weeks – but again, no thanks! I hadn’t tried Halls Creek where we had the car in a few days ago because they had told me that their mechanics were out of town so their workshop would be closed all week. I just rang them to see if they had any other suggestions and they said it was an easy service and one mechanic was there who could do the job if we came in at 1pm. They had fewer bookings because their main mechanics were away so we got in without delay. They had already promised to make time to replace an Anderson Plug on the van for us as we left town so it was easy to add the service too. We were delighted to get the service done: a few hundred clicks earlier than necessary, but certainly better than 4 or 5000 clicks over given the nature of our travels.

As soon as the service was complete and we had let some air out of our tyres, we topped up with fuel and hit the road at 3.15 pm. We were heading out on the Duncan Road – yet another iconic stock route, very bumpy with steep, deep dips and crests and constant corrugations, but not as horrific as some we have driven recently. Our maximum speed was restricted to about 55 to 60 kph due to the dips – as well as quite a few rough water crossings.

We passed the China Wall as soon as we were on the gravel but didn’t get out of the car – just stopped and looked. We visited it more closely last time we were here – while waiting to get the van towed to Kununurra to get its axle replaced. It is a remarkable white quartz wall up to 6 metres high that runs for over 100 kilometres in a more-or-less straight line – amazing stuff, but we were suitably amazed 4 years ago and kept driving. A little further on was Old Halls Creek that we also explored at length last time we were here. It is the site of the original township and is quite extensive (probably a bit bigger than Farina that I discussed in a post several weeks ago), some of it is moderately well preserved, but most of it is just dilapidated ruins or worse. Once the residents leave and it becomes a tourist destination, there is obviously no reason to spend money on maintenance so the whole edifice collapses – if it didn’t, I am not sure how many tourists would bother visiting. Again, we stopped and looked from the Road, but then kept going.

We only did 42 kilometres for the day and camped in wonderful gravel pit. (We have had some wonderful nights in gravel pits!!!) We were expecting to find a place called Palm Springs (hopefully, with no luxury high-rises, 5-car garages and casinos) but saw an inviting side road that took us out of sight of the main track and we camped there for the night. It was very special! I went for a walk to the top of a craggy hill near the caravan to take some photos and saw some Rainbow Bee-eaters among other things. The whole area is covered with green spinifex so walking is sometimes painful, but the view was certainly worth it. The gravel pit was in a green valley (almost lush by local standards) with a spectacular red stone ridge and associated cliff running for at least a kilometre above it. Quite beautiful.

We sat outside for our Happy Hour with an excellent red, great nibbles, a fantastic sunset, extraordinary fishbone clouds and superb company, surrounded by birdsong in some of the most specky country we have seen. We were looking at the silhouette of a beautiful drooping tree just in front of us when the skyline behind it started to move – and a big old kangaroo hopped from centre stage to exit right! A cool breeze, glorious solitude (except for the world’s most wonderful lover), a velvet sky splashed with glittering diamonds, embedded in nature…….. How could it possibly get any better?

Wednesday, 16 June

We woke a little later than usual for some reason. It was almost full light when I opened my eyes and a wake-up coffee was soon on the way. We both seemed a little reluctant to start the day so sat up in bed and did more than our usual quota of puzzles - but all good things must come to an end and time and breakfast waits for no man.

We ate and did the dishes and were all ready to go when we decided to explore the area a little more as I did last night before moving on. We climbed the nearby hill again, eschewing the spinifex with only moderate success and we were on our way again.

The whole area is a hodgepodge of red stony ridges, green spinifex, beautiful white-trunked (and other) trees, picturesque lumpy hills popping out of the plain at random, rolling pastoral country, craggy rocks – a truly wonderful place to visit. No wonder so many people come to visit and never go home.

After only a couple of kilometres, we found the place we had been looking for the previous evening – Palm Springs! Not too glitzy, but a lovely little area at the side of the road with a very small creek fed by a very small waterfall (one of the springs?), but with enough birds to keep me busy for half an hour or so. The Yellow-tinted Honeyeaters were the best.

It was a great little area and we took a few pics, but we still think our hidden camping spot out of sight of the road last night was better. It gave us some wonderful privacy, and solitude that we wouldn’t have had immediately beside the roadway at Palm Springs.

A few clicks further on, we saw the turnoff to Sawpit Gorge so off we went. It was only four kilometres in - but four kilometres back out again with virtually nowhere to turn around. (Reversing the caravan 4 clicks on that terrain was simply not an option!!!) We did all sorts of manoeuvres to turn the car and van around – and then undid them all when we couldn’t quite get around without completely jack-knifing the rig. We eventually backed far enough into a partially cleared spot to turn around and off we went without exploring the Gorge at all. We were just glad to be out of there after the trauma of turning the van around. Then, perhaps a hundred metres up the hill, we found a place where we could have parked and turned relatively easily, but there were no warning signs and then it was too late.

This whole area is spectacular. It is very hilly with hundreds of dramatic rocky jump-ups, often heavily vegetated and with beautiful, graceful trees. There is a lot of vicious spinifex, but also extensive areas of softly-waving grassy fronds. For kilometres, there was a uniform mantle of soft creamy 30-centimetre high grass, interspersed every 3 or 4 metres with a 2-metre spike of some sort of recently-deceased reeds. The topography was outstanding: colourful rocky outcrops, undulating hills and steep cliffs, but the trees and grasses were also quite arresting – so different from what we are accustomed to.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. After yesterday’s bumpy drive with dips and crests, the road improved. It was still very corrugated with rocky patches and numerous shallow creek crossings – deepest probably 35-40 cm deep – but we were still rarely up to 60 kph maximum. We eventually reached the point where Duncan’s Road turned north and where we turned south onto another stock route, the Buntine Highway – hardly recognisable as a highway, consistently corrugated and sometimes barely wheel-track wide. This track took us back into the Northern Territory again with no Quarantine or Covid notices – but they came a little later.

We only drove 200 kilometres for the day and camped just off the road near a windmill and bore and sat outside the van with cold drinks and nibbles as the sun went down and the heat of the day was blown away by a gentle cooling breeze. There was a bit of dust in the van but not too bad and we are looking forward to some bitumen and slightly faster speeds tomorrow afternoon.

Thursday 17 June

So much for faster speeds! It was pretty rough for half the day, but it certainly improved once we hit the bitumen – not too hot in some places, barely wheel-track wide, but it improved the further we went.

As to internet speeds, the opposite occurred. We had a good signal at Kalkaringi but no signal at all in Top Springs tonight and the people in the Roadhouse say that Vodaphone is the only provider that covers this area. Good old Telstra fails again.

So where are we and how did we get here? We are in Top Springs at the intersection of yet another

part of the Binns Track (part of the Savannah Way that we drove end-to-end four years ago) and the Buntine Highway (aka the Buntine Goat-track in places).

We drove 330 kms today, half on gravel (superb to terrible at times) and half on often quite poor bitumen, mostly barely wide enough to keep all wheels on the paved surface. Almost all drivers we saw today were really good though, getting completely off the road to give us priority - something I have tried to do most of the time, but have rarely seen others doing it before today. It is far better to vacate the road, even to stop, and let the oncoming maniacs roar through on the bitumen than to drive into the wall of stones thrown up by them. And depending on wind direction (why is it always blowing into my side of the car?), we have to stop for up to 30 seconds every time a car passes anyway so we can see the way forward and not drive into a possible second oncoming vehicle.

Today, we drove quite a few kilometres at 20 kph or less due to the vicious corrugations. Faster than that and I had no control at all. The brakes were entirely ineffective and the steering wasn’t much better because no two wheels were on the road at any time. It was horrendous until we got to the roadworks where two graders were carving out a beautifully smooth passage for us, albeit on the wrong side of the road - but out here, there is rarely a right side: the right side is the one that’s not quite as bad as the other side, i.e., the side that everyone uses. Of course, that changes frequently, so we zigzagged back and forth (as did any other vehicles), just hoping that we didn’t zig when we should have zagged or vice versa.

We drove through another area of dramatic jump-ups – small sharp hills erupting out of entirely flat grasslands. I mentioned The Granites on the Tanami and a possible extension of them on the way to Halls Creek and we encountered another similar few square kilometres again today.

We ate our lunch at Kalkaringi, formerly Wave Hill, where we tried unsuccessfully to find a workshop to which we were directed to put a bit more air in our tyres - so we drove the next 170 kms with slightly lower pressures than intended. We also tried to find the Police to comply with the requirement to complete a Covid form immediately we crossed back into the NT but the local cop was out of town. Next cop will be in Katherine tomorrow, but maybe by then, the urgency to complete the form may have abated. (And it had! Approaching Katherine there was a roadside sign asking interstate travellers coming from a declared hotspot to ring the local health authorities – nothing more!)

One good thing about Kalkaringi was the strong internet signal that allowed us to download close to 50 emails each while we ate our lunch, very few of which warranted any action.

We then drove on to Top Springs – bitumen all the way and set up behind the Roadhouse with good water, hot and cold showers, power, but no internet. We were hot and dusty so went for a drink at the Roadhouse bar and the barman recognised us. We had been chatting with him and his girlfriend, backpackers from Germany, when we were all exploring the Henbury Craters south of Alice six weeks or so ago. It is a small world and we may cross paths again on our way back west.

It was great to have a shower and to plug the fridges into AC power overnight as well as mains pressure water. And I even added a couple of bird species to our trip list. It currently stands at 137 including six additions to our Life-list.

Despite our drink in the bar (and one in the van with the fan on), we were still hot so we ate our dinner outside, augmented with some hot chips straight from the bar. They cooked a batch specially for us, all double-fried, and just enough for 3 meals each.

And after dinner we watched the very final episode of White Collar, all six series of which have accompanied us most nights since we left home. We enjoyed the series and I am delighted to report that ‘the gooduns won’.

That just left us with an easy run into Katherine tomorrow, but I will leave that for another post.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Coldwave Prompt: “But what if I fall?/Oh, my darling, but what if you fly?”

Fic: Daydream Believer (AO3 Link)Fandom: The Flash, Legends of Tomorrow (mostly characterization)Pairing: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, background Lisa Snart/Cisco Ramon, Lisa Snart/Iris West/Eddie Thawne, Patty Spivot/Barry Allen

Summary: Everybody’s always wanted a chance to live out their wildest childhood dreams.

It just so happens that Leonard Snart, mild-mannered structural engineer, dreamed of being a comic-book style supervillain.

———————————————————————————————-

Everybody’s got dreams.

Some people have dreams that take them when they’re children, dreams of what their life could be, should be, glorious dreams that make you wake up with a smile on your face.

Some people get to live those dreams.

Others…don’t.

It’s not that Len doesn’t like being a structural engineer! As jobs go, it’s incredibly fulfilling, though he still wistfully wonders what would’ve happened if he’d taken accounting instead like he’d originally wanted. He’s got a masterful hand for design and a way of thinking that lets him visualize his buildings in perfect 3D in his head. Hell, even his hobby – studying the blueprints of buildings throughout the city to analyze them for security weaknesses and figure out how he could do it better – is work-related, so clearly, he enjoys what he does.

It’s just, you know.

It’s not what he dreamed of as a kid.

Of course, when Len was a kid, he dreamed of becoming a comics book style supervillain.

It’s not exactly a real job: you don’t see it on the quizzes suggesting what college major might be right for you, or job hunting on the Internet, or well, anywhere, really. It’s just the dreams a of a child.

Len doesn’t regret taking on the loans he did so that he could keep Lisa in his care, showing that – although young – he was a college student on the Right Track instead of a corrupt cop with a penchant for mob-related (and unsuccessful) theft or a junkie who only sometimes remembers that Lisa’s her daughter. He’s paid off those loans and he’s put Lisa into college and he’s, you know, doing okay. Got a good job, nice apartment, the works. He’s content. Maybe not happy, but content.

He still wishes he lived in a superhero universe, but hey, what can you do.

He figures that’s the end of it – keep going the way he is; now that he’s made partner at his firm and can do whatever the fuck he wants time-wise as long as the job gets done, he can presumably devote some time to finding a nice girlfriend or boyfriend or non-binaryfriend like Lisa keeps hinting at – and it would be, except for the Particle Accelerator explosion.

He’s working late that night, sees the flash of light outside his window, sees the news stories in the weeks that follow. A few months later, the first weird incident occurs. A little later, another.

The online community proposes that these incidents are actually caused by people – people who have been granted special powers by the Particle Accelerator explosion, like comic-book gamma rays except that they didn’t actually kill you and they did actually give you superpowers. These people are dubbed ‘metahumans’.

Len thinks it’s so cool.

He didn’t get any superpowers, of course – his life is not anywhere near that awesome – but he immediately runs to that great information consolidator, the Internet, to find out more. A few months in, he’s joined a chat group with the various Internet self-proclaimed experts on the subject of metahumans: Patty (taking police academy lessons so she can save up money for an eventual career as a CSI, whose Instagram pics of suspected metahuman sites are second to none), Kadabra (works in Mercury Labs, does freelance scientific analysis of various incidents, also weirdly obsessed with stage magic for some reason), Axel (high schooler with an attitude problem, but lots of free time to run errands for the rest of them), and, of course, Iris (metahuman blogger extraordinaire, always first on the scene – he thinks she works as a barista, but her dad’s a cop and she has smuggled out crime scene descriptions so even beyond her in-person investigation, she’s a glorious source of news-news-news. He keeps telling her to apply to be a journalist somewhere.)

It’s just a hobby, though.

Well, at first.

When the Streak appears, it’s – it’s not just a hobby anymore.

We’ve got a superhero!!! he texts the group, along with a picture stolen (hacked) from a speed camera. It shows definitively that the bolt of lightning is – as they suspected – a metahuman, not a force of nature.

I KNOW OMG, Iris responds immediately.

I haaaaate police academy, Patty sends. I want to be OUT THERE already!!! with the METAS!!!

Just skip, like I do, Axel texts.

You skip one more day and I will cut you into pieces in my lab, brat, Kadabra replies.

Seconded, Len sends. Structural engineer – I know where to bury body parts.

WTF, both of you, Axel says. And they say teenagers are morbid.

You more than most LOL, Patty sends.

What if he’s a danger?? Kadabra sends, ignoring the part of the chat that rapidly devolves into rude emojis going back and forth.

He’s been doing good work, Iris objects. Stopping bad guys.

We don’t know if they’re bad guys.

Uh, they’re trying to KILL PEOPLE; they’re bad guys.

I’m just saying, I’m not sure I’m comfortable with a superpowered metahuman deciding he can take justice into his own hands, Kadabra writes.

Kind of the definition of a superhero, Len notes.

Some of the people the Streak has stopped have disappeared, Patty says. Gotta say, it’s a little worrying.

For some reason, that’s what twigs the idea in his mind.

That old childhood dream.

Len stares at the chat, his friends going on and discussing the pros and cons of vigilantism, especially when superpowers are involved. Discussion of how balance works – whether the superhero is the response to the metahuman threat, or whether the superhero will act as a lightning rod to draw in more crazies – discussions of who watches the watchmen –

Guys, he texts the group. I think I’m going to become a supervillain.

OMG, Patty texts. Really???

Dead serious. That way I can keep the superhero on his toes & make sure he’s not murdering people at random, plus if any new bad guys show up, I’ll be able to get the first scoop.

I am so in, Iris texts. You have to tell us EVERYTHING.

You get me photos, I will give you my soul, Patty says.

I can help with lab analysis, Kadabra texts.

Oh, god, yes, me too!!! Patty throws in. Team Supervillain is definitely on as of right now!

We need a better name than that, Axel puts in. And I don’t know if I can do anything –

Stay in school and keep an eye on the rumors, Len says. I don’t want to get, like, a dumb name or anything.

But ur not a meta, Axel replies. The streak will kick ur ass.

I’ll figure something out :)

Len clicks out of the chat.

Hey, you know what they say about dreams. Shoot for the moon; you might land among the stars.

Not his fault his dream’s a little unorthodox.

——————————————————————————————————————

The first heist is easy enough to plan. A couple of drunks from the bad side of town, a handful of badly guarded diamonds, a really interesting use of liquid nitrogen, and suddenly everyone else in the slum part of downtown is convinced that he’s some super-thief from out of town despite his fairly heavy Central City accent.

He pays the guys out of his bank account – it’s amazing how little they’ll accept on the grounds that fencing diamonds is hard – and mails the diamonds back to the owners with some suggestions on how to improve security.

He’s not really expecting to get mail in return asking if he’d be interested in seeing if he can crack the security around the Kahndaq Dynasty Diamond, because they’re bringing in a very good fake – it is Central City, they’re not stupid – and they’d really like to know before they take the real Diamond on tour, but hey, it’s as good an excuse as any.

He gets a crew together.

And then the Streak comes.

OMG OMG OMG, Patty texts. Did he touch you???

He punched me, Len texts back, amused as ever by Patty’s enthusiasm.

HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD, Kadabra writes. SPEED = FORCE; SPEEDSTER PUNCH = DEAD LEN!!!

Maybe Len has no mass, Axel writes, clearly sitting in his science class at school.

It’s my lack of gravity that does it, Len writes back immediately, and grins when everyone sends him little dagger emojis.

He goes searching for something that’ll help him stop a speedster. He’d thought liquid nitrogen would be the answer – speed and cold, after all – but if he can’t even see the Streak, he’ll never be able to use it in a controlled manner, and he’s got to be cautious about these things.

Luckily, with his name, his family history, he can walk into the worst bar in Central and everyone will go ah, yes, Snart – he’s one of us.

The squirrelly man who sells goods from STAR Labs is a godsend.

(One who Patty proceeds to bag as her very first police arrest on the force, thanks to the evidence Len sent her; she’s very pleased.)

Len’s a little worried about whoever bought the matching heat gun before he could get there, but whatever.

He’s got a Streak to fight and a diamond to steal.

——————————————————————————————————————

CAPTAIN COLD, Iris texts gleefully. CAPTAIN FUCKING COLD!

I am the COOLEST supervillain, Len replies, equally gleeful.

Fuck you and the puns you came in on, Axel texts.

Just chill, Axel, Len sends.

I hate you.

No need to be so cold.

HATE.

Guys, I think Axel’s freezing me out. What do I do?

FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE!!!

Oh, he’s breaking out the Clue references, Iris types. Now we’re really in trouble.

Did you get the diamond? Kadabra asks.

Yeah, I’ve got it. Gonna send it back, of course, but right now it’s a great paperweight. Beautiful piece of ice.

Fuck you so bad, Axel writes. How are you simultaneously this awesome and this dorky?

Says the high schooler in the metahuman conspiracy chatroom, Len types. We wouldn’t be here if we weren’t dorks.

Still, well done, Iris writes. Icing the train was a work of genius. Very supervillain.

I’m still not sure how the Streak managed to turn what would have otherwise been a relatively minor slippage disturbance on the tracks into a fully-fledged train wreck, but whatever, Len replies. At least he also got everyone out.

And the awful night train is gone and the city finally has an excuse to replace it, Patty says happily. She’d had to ride that train for a while. They’ve already gotten approval from their insurance people; they’re so crazy happy right now. You’re everyone’s favorite supervillain.

Len smiles. He’s got the best team.

I want to know everything, Iris says. Not just what you gave me to put on the blog.

I’ve got a lead on who the Streak is, he tells her smugly. And he does, too – the faces of the Streak’s accomplices were unmasked, just right out there like they’re asking to be looked up online. And where you find accomplices, you find the mastermind – or, well, the hero.

Coffee. Tomorrow, Jitters, noon. OR DIE, she writes back immediately.

Oooh, RL meet-up! I’ll be there, Patty writes.

Bah, work; no way I’ll make it, but you’d better catch me up later, Kadabra writes. Axel – don’t even think about it.

Yeah, yeah. No worries. Tomorrow’s chemistry; I’m not skipping it.

Awww, our budding little chemical engineer, Patty coos.

With my sister in mechanical engineering, I think we’ve got the whole set, Len adds.

GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL, Patty writes.

So, CAPTAIN COLD, what’s next? Iris asks.

Len just smiles.

——————————————————————————————————————

Being a supervillain is basically better than anything Len could have possibly imagined.

He’s Captain Cold, now; people call him Cold instead of Snart, the bartender puts on Cold as Ice every time he comes to the bar – he has a theme song! – and he has an action figure.

People are still figuring out the whole Streak/Flash thing, since they can’t see him, but Captain Cold, they’re pretty damn sure is a villain.

Really, all he needs is an excuse to get the Flash to come and fight him one-on-one, and everything will be perfect. But he knows better than to just go out with the cold gun, flash it around – hah! – and hope everything will work out fine.

Kidnap one of the Flash’s teammates, Iris suggests. She’s got a rather wicked streak to her.

Are you sure you don’t want to be a supervillain, too? he asks.

Let me think of a theme first, she says. Right now I’m enjoying being the Flash’s favorite reporter.

I am rather curious as to why he chose you, Patty says. No offense, you’re great, but there’s a whole city of reporters with way more publicity than your blog gets.

I’m pretty sure he works with my dad sometimes, Iris says. Dad has been REALLY squirrelly about the whole metahuman/Flash thing. He’s even convinced my otherwise awesome foster-bro to try to talk me out of writing about the Flash because it’s ~~dangerous~~

Let me guess, Patty says. It’s OK for them because they’re guys, but you’re a delicate flower that needs to be protected.

Iris is the opposite of a delicate flower, Len writes. Iris will raze this city in her wake if she feels like it.

Awww, Len, you say the nicest things, Iris says. Still not sold on becoming part of your supervillain club. Which, FYI, you still need to name.

Villains United? Kadabra suggests.

Legion of Doom? Axel sends.

No, Len says. Relax, it’ll come to me. Besides, I don’t see any of you guys working out your supervillain identities.

I’ve got something planned, Axel writes.

Not if it interferes with school you don’t, Kadabra writes.

Ugh, FINE.

I’d join up in a heartbeat except for how the cop thing is currently paying my bills, Patty writes. Also, can we, like, murder Mark Mardon?

First we need to FIND Mark Mardon, and also pls keep all discussions of murder offline, Len writes.

Wasn’t it Clyde that killed your dad? Iris asks.

Same difference.

Not really…

I don’t want to talk about it.

Anyway, I’m still looking for the edge I need for the next match with the Flash, Len writes before the argument gets any more serious. Though I think the suggestion of kidnapping one of his teammates is a good one.

, Iris texts. Go for the girl; superheroes are so UGH about that.

You’re just sore about your dad + bro, Len texts back with a smile.

Hell yes I’m salty AF about it, she replies.

Len rolls his eyes and mildly hopes that Iris’ family figures out that no one puts Iris West in the corner before she does end up going supervillain on them.

——————————————————————————————————————

The few months after his first encounter with the Flash are spent gathering intel and – almost entirely by accident – creating a legend.

Everyone seems to assume that a supervillain has to have some sort of backstory, and Len’s sadly all-too-public family history – corrupt, abusive cop turned mob thief – has led to some seriously absurd speculation about him being a high-end diamond thief (due to the contract he now has with four of the diamond importers in town to test their security, which he’s been doing quite well – he can afford to pay the crew out of the advance proceeds, so even his savings aren’t taking a hit anymore) who is internationally wanted but who has connections with the criminal underground so deep that he’s managed to erase all of his criminal record.

Len laughs for, like, an hour when Axel tells him about it.

No one’s ever confronted him about it, or even mentioned it, so it’s not like there’s anything Len can do about it. He has no intention of lying about anything, but seriously, no one ever asks him anything. He just goes places, people are super into him, and then, after he fails to do anything spectacular, they forget about him and start talking.

Which is how he ends up drinking in a bar, listening to everyone chat around him, gathering what he needs to know. He’s never kidnapped anyone before; he’s gotta do his research.

And that’s when someone walks up to him and pokes him in the shoulder.

Len turns.

There’s a guy there – big guy, broad shoulders, shaved head, shiny patches of scarred skin starting around his neckline and crawling down his forearms, peeking out from under his loose grey button-down shirt.

“You Captain Cold?” the guy asks.

He’s got one of those voices that makes your toes curl.

Len’s, at least.

“You’re really hot,” Len’s traitorous mouth proceed to say, totally without his consent.

The guy blinks, obviously taken aback, but Len’s committed now, so he fixes on his best smirk and leans forward. “How can I help you?”

“You know, I’d heard you were a lot more chill than you are,” the guy says.

“Maybe you warm me up,” Len shoots back.

“Can’t be that icy if that’s all it takes to get you hot,” the guy replies, his lips spreading into a grin.

“What can I say? You were so hot, you stopped me cold,” Len says, batting his eyelashes innocently.

“Guess I’m getting warmer by the minute with the puns.”

“What can I say?” Len says. “I know what lights my fire –”

The guy barks a laugh. “Mick Rory,” he says, face flushed with pleasure. “Arsonist. Nice to meet you.”

“Leonard Snart,” Len replies. “Supervillain.”

“Mind if I sit?”

“Please do,” Len says, eyes dropping to review the man’s very shapely figure and stopping cold (hah!) at the familiar-looking style of gun strapped into the man’s thigh. “I think you and me have lots to talk about.”

Mick follows Len’s gaze. “Yeah,” he says, and grins. “I think we do.”

——————————————————————————————————————

Glory glory glory hallelujah, Iris texts. Leonard Snart, you are the BEST. Central City has an official superhero at LAST!

The Flash, in person, Patty sends, attaching a few snapshots she snagged during the big confrontation.

Head to toe leather, really? Kadabra snipes. Is he a superhero or an escapee from a fetish convention?

If that was the case, it’d be PVC, not leather, Iris says.

TMI, Iris, he replies.

I’m a writer, Iris sends back. I know many, many things. Some stranger than others. I can send pics of some of those stranger things – tell me, how familiar are you with certain internet subcultures?

I yield the field, declare defeat, surrender unconditionally, etc., Kadabra replies. I don’t even know which one you’re thinking of, and I don’t WANT to know.

More importantly, why does he go with the full cowl? Axel sends. A domino mask is x100 cooler.

Let’s get back to how freaking AWESOME Len and his brand new buddy were out there, Iris sends. Did you get arrested after the big blow-out at the end?

I should have realized about crossing the streams, Kadabra sends apologetically. Sorry.

No worries, Len says.

At least there wasn’t a giant Stay Puft Man involved, Patty opines. Always a risk when you’re talking about crossing streams.

Len! Did! You! Get! Arrested?!?! Iris sends.

They made us do a walk of shame through the CCPD and then shoved us in a van headed for Iron Heights without processing us, Len reports. Totally illegal, btw, but whatever.

He’s a little steamed about that, actually; they didn’t even bother to check his fingerprints to see if he had a criminal record – he didn’t; hadn’t gotten so much as a driving ticket since he turned eighteen – and he’d consulted with Patty before he’d set up the fight. If the Flash showed up to fight him, literally all they’d be able to charge him with was being a public nuisance.

Well, and kidnapping, but for some reason he didn’t think Caitlin Snow would be making any statements to the police.

Reasons like “aiding and abetting a vigilante.”

But they hadn’t bothered – they’d looked at him and thought ‘Snart’, just like everyone else in his goddamn life, and coupled with Mick by his side, they’d tossed them straight into the prison van and figured they’d deal with them later.

Lisa had paid off the van drivers in advance, so the ensuing break-out was both spectacular and totally victim-less. And since the police hadn’t even charged him with anything, he can’t even be charged with escaping police custody.

“You texting your friends again?” Mick rumbles from next to him in the bed.

Len turns and grins at him. Sleepy and satisfied is a good look for Mick. Then again, Len hasn’t really found a look that isn’t good on him. “They’re good people,” he protests mildly.

“You like talking to ‘em, you talk to ‘em,” Mick says agreeably. “Gotta keep an eye on your crew.”

The way his thumb caresses Len’s hips indicates that he’s willing to make an effort to distract from it.

“They’re complimenting us on our excellent supervillain style,” Len tells Mick. “Let me enjoy my adoring public.”

“I’ll give you adoring,” Mick growls.

Len has just enough time to type BRB and toss the phone onto the bedside table.

——————————————————————————————————————

“I’m going to murder him,” Iris announces, walking straight into their apartment and throwing her hands in the air.

“I’m in,” Lisa puts in, grinning at her newly found best friend.

(Lisa had thought he was insane for the supervillain thing, then she’d met Iris and suddenly everything was a-okay in Lisa-land. Len’s pretty sure she’s angling for a threesome invite, and he’s pretty sure she’s going to get one, too, judging by the way Iris eyes her in return.)

“Which him?” Len asks mildly. “Speaking as a ‘him’, I’d prefer to know what I’m signing up for.”

Mick grunts from where he’s eating a bowl of cereal.

He’s adjusted quite quickly to random people walking in and yelling strange things, though he does tell Len he thinks it’s odd that Len’s chosen a safehouse in a fairly nice apartment complex where the neighbors sometimes knock to ask for a cup of sugar and to fist-bump him on his excellent supervillainy.

Len explained that he owns the apartment.

Mick was impressed.

“Eddie,” Iris says. “He’s in on the Flash thing now! And he’s refusing to tell me!”

“You haven’t told him that you know who the Flash is?” Len asks.

Iris snarls. “He’s my foster brother,” she says, her dramatics not hiding the fact that she’s actually pissed off about it. “And – I thought – my best friend. He should tell me these things. He’s told my dad, he’s told my boyfriend, he’s told random strangers that he only met after his coma –”

“Nine months in a coma after being struck by lightning, wakes up in better physical shape than before, suddenly hanging out with the Flash’s accomplices,” Lisa ticks off on her fingers.

“Add the fact that he obviously talks about it right before I come in through the door then changes the subject abruptly despite the fact that I totally heard him,” Iris says. “And sometimes, when he thinks I’m not looking – I’m talking that I’m still in the room, just not looking his way –he’ll superspeed something. Like I won’t notice that the desk is suddenly clean or the dishes are all washed!”

“Isn’t his speed accompanied by lightning?” Mick asks.

“It is!” she wails. “That’s what makes it so stupid – does he really think I don’t see the light out of the corner of my eyes? Humans are born predators! We notice movement before we notice anything else, including variation in tone and texture and color! I can’t tell if he thinks I’m stupid or what!”

“He probably just thinks he’s very good,” Len puts in. “And he isn’t.”

“He’s a boy in his early twenties,” Lisa drawls. “They all think they’re much better than they are.”

Len sighs, long-suffering, as Iris and Mick laugh at his wrinkled nose. Just because he was happy that Lisa had an active and satisfying sex life didn’t mean he wanted to hear the details, really.

“Anyway, I have a plan to get you your guns back,” she says briskly.

“I’m listening,” Len says, smiling at how Mick perks up. Mick loves his gun: his pyromania is totally tickled pink (red?) by it.

“Second verse,” Iris says, “same as the first. But this time we kidnap a bit of extra incentive.”

——————————————————————————————————————

Len drops Cisco and Dante off at STAR Labs, no harm done to either of them.

“That was amazing,” Mick purrs.

“I didn’t do anything,” Len says, smiling. “It was Iris’ idea, bringing the brother in; and Lisa was able to grab Cisco, no problem.”

Though she really needed to stop collecting would-be lovers or she’ll end up in an orgy.

“The way you threatened him with frostbite was beautiful,” Mick says firmly. “I wouldn’t have thought to go after his fingers.”

“Piano player,” Len says, smirking. “You can always tell.”

“So we going to hit that truck?”

“Yep,” Len says, utterly satisfied. He can’t believe they’re so foolish as to send another diamond truck on the same route – god, he’s talked to them about this! He’ll have to be extra stern in his next letter. It helps that Mick isn’t in this for the cash – as long as there is cash, he doesn’t care if it comes from their thieving or if it just appears on the table.

Len’s bank account is rich and full. Mick’s barely making a dent.

(Len’s designing a bank for work at the moment, which honestly he could do in his sleep. It’s fun to split his time between blueprints for heists and blueprints for work. Also, the irony makes him smile.)

“You sure the Flash’ll let us hit it?” Mick asks doubtfully.

“Trust me,” Len says. “He’ll want to confront me about kidnapping his friend; he’ll forget that you two are perfectly capable of getting the truck all on your own.”

Sure enough, Len finds himself in the woods somewhere outside of Central.

“Maybe I’ll speed you off to my secret prison where you can’t hurt anyone,” the Flash says cockily.

“And then I won’t be around to stop my newsfeed from releasing your identity the world,” Len drawls in return. Honestly, did the Flash not think that he’s thought of this? That was like, contingency number one.

Besides, if Barry Allen really does go and lock him into STAR Labs, Iris will just break him out.

They end up bargaining: no attacks on the Flash’s friends and family (easily agreed) and no killing (even easier) in return for the Flash letting Len run free as his supervillain.

It all went even better than he thought.

The Flash ditches him, a crackle of lightning all he leaves behind.

The Rogues, he texts the group.

What? Iris replies.

Villain group name, he says. The Rogues.

I LOVE IT, Patty sends.

Okay, that’s pretty cool, Axel concedes. Not too dorky.

If you assholes would stop vetoing my supervillain ideas, I’d join up in a minute, Kadabra promises.

Stop having stupid stage magician themed ideas, then, Iris replies. This isn’t the 90s, okay? Only serious supervillains need apply.

There was a woman who murdered people with electric bees literally last week, Len points out.

And she’s not invited into the club, Iris shoots back.

Point, Len concedes.

I’m recruiting Hartley Rathaway, once I track him down, Patty says. Sonic gloves are great! Plus, deaf supervillain – disability representation for the win!

We got the truck, Mick sends. He’s been a little more hesitant to join the texting group, but once he was assured that the chatroom was as private as current internet hacking skills could manage and everyone was overwhelmingly nice to him, he’d slowly started warming up to them.

Pun intended, of course.

Great! Len replies encouragingly. He really wants Mick to be friends with everyone; it’s important to him that everyone is happy and comfortable with each other.

Then he looks around.

Speaking of comfortable…

Could you guys send me a pickup? I’ll turn on the GPS tracker on my phone so you can find me…

——————————————————————————————————————

Iris spends a lot of time curled up in Len’s apartment eating ice cream after the pseudo-black hole incident. She’s pissed off at Barry for nearly screwing everything up. She’s pissed off at Eddie for very nearly committing suicide. She’s pissed off at her dad for conspiring to keep her in the dark about the Flash stuff for months.

Honestly, at this point, Len’s crew and Firestorm – Stein and Ronnie both – may be the only people she’s talking to.

Len’s Rogues are growing nicely, though. Mick’s there, of course, as Heatwave, and Lisa under her knew alias as the Golden Glider. Hartley joined up happily enough and is going under the name Pied Piper – he’s currently working on some sort of sonic flute. Shanwa, surprisingly enough, actually likes the name Peek-a-Boo, and is as thick as thieves with Lisa and Iris and Patty. Axel found his calling as the Trickster – Kadabra yelled at him for three hours about doing anything with the old Trickster, ever again, and Axel had folded like a bad poker hand, especially after they’d explained exactly how badly he’d been played – and now he’s using and abusing his chemistry genius.

He’s still going to school and getting good grades, though. He swears after his last stunt, Kadabra abruptly appears and looms over his shoulder any time he even thinks of skipping.

Of course, Axel also claims that Kadabra has started cooking up actual magic in that lab of his.

Kids.

“I just hate all of them,” Iris says sulkily.

“I feel you,” Len says.

Admittedly, he’s only half paying attention. His bank design is getting to the crazy portion; he needs to devote a lot of attention or the finicky details won’t iron out right.

“I think I want to be a supervillain, too,” she says.

“You’re not really cut out for it,” Mick says, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“I could be,” Iris says stubbornly.

“You’ve barely ever broken a law in your life,” Mick points out. “Never been arrested, never gone to jail, never got scarred up like the rest of us. You’re not like me and Len. Just leave it be.”

“I’ll think about it,” she says grumpily.

“You don’t even have a good theme yet,” he says soothingly, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders.

“Fine, fine. That one’s actually a good point,” Iris says, snuggling into the blanket.

Len smiles distractedly at Mick being adorably fuzzy. He’ll have to make up the last few weeks up to Mick somehow – maybe take him out for a nice burn on one of the condemned properties that Len bid for the destruction contracts for weeks ago, right after he first met Mick and learned about his pyromania.

He doesn’t think about what Mick said.

——————————————————————————————————————

“Oh god,” Len says.

“You killed him,” Barry says.

“Oh god,” Len says.

“Lisa was safe! You didn’t have to!”

“Oh god.”

“Um,” Barry says. “You’re – kind of freaking out?”

“He’s dead!”

“…yes?” Barry says, blinking. “Was that not the point?”

“Yes, but – but – oh my god!”

“I’m – okay, you’re seriously freaking out here. Is it because he’s your dad?”

“It’s because he’s dead!”

“…is there anything I can do to make you freak out less?” Barry asks helplessly. “Because you’re starting to freak me out.”

“Lisa,” Len says weakly. “I need Lisa. And Mick. Oh god.”

“Right,” Barry says, and suddenly everything is a blur.

Lisa is on her feet at the sight of them, dropping the towel she was holding to her mildly bloody neck. “What did you do to him?!” she shouts.

“Nothing!” Barry yelps. “Nothing! I swear! He shot your dad and then he started flipping out!”

“Go get Mick! And Iris! Now!” Lisa orders, whipping out her phone and texting.

Barry’s gone before she finishes talking.

Len is on the floor. He doesn’t remember sitting down.

“Lenny? Lenny, baby, it’s okay,” she says, crouching down next to him. “Lenny – Lenny, baby, big bro, it’s okay – look at me – you’re having a panic attack –”

Len’s ears are ringing and everything seems very far away. He can’t get his father’s face out of his mind.

“I got Mick!” Barry announces, reappearing with the man. “And Iris! Wait. Why did I go get Iris?”

Iris rushes forward. “Got your text,” she says. “Oh, Len!”

Mick kneels down and wraps his arms around Len. It helps with the shaking.

“He’s dead,” he tells Mick stupidly. “He’s dead.”

“Who’s dead?” Mick asks.

“Our dad,” Lisa says. “He put a bomb in my neck and made Lenny run jobs for him.”

“Shit,” Mick says, looking guilty. “I shoulda known something was up when you said you needed some time to yourself.”

“I didn’t want you involved,” Len says through numb lips. “He’s – he’s bad, Mick. He’s really bad.”

“And now he’s gone for good,” Lisa says. She sounds satisfied.

Len groans.

“…which I will never mention again, Lenny, I’m so sorry you had to do that!” she adds.

Iris is patting his shoulder. “It’s okay,” she says. “It’s okay.”

“Irsi!” Barry yelps. “Since when do you know Captain Cold?”

“I’m part of his Rogues, duh,” she replies. “Which maybe I wouldn’t have been, if someone had told me that they were the fucking Flash instead of keeping me in the dark and lying to my face for a year.”

Barry winces.

They’re still not talking about it.

“Wait,” Cisco says. “You’re a supervillain?”

“I’m more of a behind the scenes organizer,” Iris sniffs. “I haven’t thought of a theme yet. Anyway, can we focus on Len now?”

“He’s dead,” Len says dully. “I killed him.”

“Isn’t that kind of what you guys do?” Cisco asks.

“I’ve never killed anyone before in my life!” Len protests.

“What?!” Barry yelps. “But – we made that deal about you not killing anyone –”

“Easy enough to promise,” Len says. “Didn’t plan to do it anyway.”

“You really never killed anybody?” Mick says, sounding mildly surprised. “Not even in prison?”

“He’s never been in prison,” Lisa says. “Well, not except as, like, a visitor.”

“What, really?” Mick says, blinking.

“How’d he manage that?” Caitlin asks, frowning. “Statistically, most expert criminals spend at least a little time in prison before they’ve perfected their technique –”

“He’s a supervillain, not a criminal,” Lisa says impatiently. “He’s never been to prison, he’s never been arrested – well, not properly – and the worst thing he’s ever gotten was a parking ticket for letting the time meter run out while he was visiting me in the hospital one time.”

“No way,” Cisco protests. “I saw the stories online – he’s got a record a mile long, only he deleted it all –”

“Those are just stories,” Iris says. “I helped spread some of them.”

“Iris, you didn’t,” Len says.

“Oh, good, he’s starting to come out of it.”

“You’re not a criminal?” Mick says slowly. “Not at all?”

“I wanted to be a supervillain,” Len says. He’s tired and his head hurts and he thinks he may have hurt Mick’s feelings somehow, even though he never lied about anything. He should have been more clear, he guesses. “Childhood dream. Had to put it aside to take care of Lisa. Then, when the Flash appeared…I figured it was time.”

“You steal diamonds all the time!” Cisco shouts.

“Yeah,” Len says. “And I send ‘em back after with comments on improving their security against metahuman and super-threats. I get paid an average of 50k per successful robbery, which is honestly more than I’d get fencing the diamonds on the black market.”

“What,” Barry says.

“How do you afford that sweet apartment?” Mick demands. “And all the extra cash you always have?”

“Lenny’s partner in a mid-sized architectural design firm,” Lisa says proudly.

“I’m designing a bank right now,” Len offers, closing his eyes.

“You’re designing a bank?”

“I specialize in figuring out architectural design for high security needs,” Len says. “I basically spend all day trying to figure out how to break into places and then turning it around to figure out how to stop people from doing what I just did.”

“You’re in the house all day,” Mick says. He sounds upset. “You don’t, like, go into an office or anything.”

“I’m a partner,” Len says, leaning his head against the wall. “I took flex-time leave; I work from home now. Telecommuting. You see me skype with my employees sometimes.”

“Wait – the guys you’re always yelling about banks with are your employees?” Mick says.

“Imagine having Captain Cold as a boss,” Cisco says, marveling.

“You’re basically a normal person,” Barry says, sounding horrified.

“Yes, and he just had a very traumatic experience,” Iris says. “So stop badgering him.”

“He killed someone!”

“He killed his abusive father, who just put a bomb into his sister’s neck!” Iris shouts. “Maybe if you actually cared about your family, you’d pay some attention to that!”

“I do care!” Barry shouts back. “That’s why I lied!”

“Because you don’t trust me!”

“No! Because I want to keep you safe! Damnit, Iris, I thought I was doing the right thing!”

“Well you weren’t! You were just being selfish, like you always are!”

Len pulls up his knees, feeling very small. He hates it when people yell.

He feels Mick’s arm wrap around him and he lets his head fall into Mick’s shoulder. “M’sorry I didn’t make it clear,” he mutters into Mick’s neck. “Shoulda said. Like Iris and Barry. But you only wanted a partner in crime, and I wanted you…”

“We’re still partners in crime,” Mick says. His voice is low and harsh as always, but it’s still the sweetest thing Len’s ever heard. “You’re still a supervillain, remember? Leader of the Rogues.”

“You don’t mind that I’m not a proper criminal?”

“You’re a proper criminal to me,” Mick assures him.

Lisa puts her fingers to her mouth and whistles a sharp, piercing whistle that deafens the entire room.

“You’re all being stupid!” she roars, making everyone take at least three steps back. “Iris, Barry was being a dumbass, but he meant well and he’s apologized. Get over it. Barry, all Iris wants is for you to say you’ve learned your lesson, you’re sorry, and that you’re never going to hide anything from her ever again.”

They blink.

“Now.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve learned my lesson, I will hide nothing from you ever again,” Barry says quickly.

“Apology accepted and I’m sorry for what I said about you not caring about family,” Iris says, equally quickly. “I know that you care a lot and it was really uncalled for.”

“It’s fine, I understand why you were upset,” Barry says.

“Don’t try to get me to make up with my dad, though, I’m still pissed at him,” she warns.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Barry says.

“You’re literally thinking of ways to do it right now.”

“Yes,” Barry says, nodding. “In the spirit of not hiding things from you: yes, yes I am.”

“Can we stop apologizing now or will you kill us?” Iris asks Lisa.

Lisa crosses her arm and surveys both of them. “Fine,” she says. “Acceptable. Also, while we’re at it, Cisco, we’re going out for dinner tomorrow. 8 PM. Wear something nice.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Cisco says. His eyes are shining. “Wait, if he’s a structural engineer, does that mean you’re really a mechanical engineer?”

“Yep,” she says.

“Awesome,” he says.

“Hey, Flash,” Mick says. “Help me get Len home? I think he needs some peace and quiet, maybe some hot cocoa.”

“With mini-marshmallows?” Len asks plaintively.

“Of course,” Mick assures him. “Flash?”

“Uh, sure,” Barry says. “I’ll…do you have to be a supervillain?”

“I keep my Rogues obeying the rules we made,” Len points out. “I make sure nothing really gets stolen, or at least that no one gets hurt by it. If any new supervillain comes to town, they’ll probably come to try to recruit me first. My contacts on the police force help me turn in the really bad guys –”

“Who do we know who’s on the police force?” Mick asks.

“Patty.”

“Patty?” Barry yelps. “My girlfriend?”

“Your what?!” Iris says, starting to grin.

“Well, I mean, I just asked her out yesterday…”

“Patty,” Mick says. “Patty. Instagram girl.”

“Yep.”

“The police really take all types,” Mick says. “Who’d you get arrested? Anyone I know?”

“The two assholes that were making fun of you in the bar.”

Mick’s lips twitch with amusement. “You mean the ones I beat up for doing it?”

“Doesn’t mean they should be doing it. Mental illness isn’t funny.”

Mick shakes his head and pulls Len close, running his fingers through his hair. Len sighs and lets his shoulder slump.

What a bad week.

“We’re not allowed to have weeks like this ever again,” he says, only half-awake at this point.

“Sure thing, Lenny,” Mick says. “Now go to sleep; I’ll yell at you tomorrow. First kill’s always the hardest, especially if it’s family. Took me ages to get over my family dying in a fire, and that was an accident.”

“You’re the best,” Len slurs.

“I beat up nice structural engineers who were abused as children and mentally ill people with tragic pasts,” Barry moans. “What sort of hero am I?”

“Barry, I know we’ve made up and all, but I have to say that your existential crisis is giving me life right now,” Iris says.

“Yeah, yeah – wait, what are you doing? Are you texting someone?”

“I’m live-blogging this for the Rogues. Obviously.”

“You’re what?!”

[roseknows20-blog]

Day 19 Long a$$ day- Blue Lake hut to Anne Hut

January 28th 2017

What a delightful morning! As I got ready and conversed with the other TA trampers, I felt overly enthusiastic to start the day. We had an ambitious day ahead of us, aiming to hike 42kms to Anne Hut. Gee wilikers. The reason being, Anne Hut was the next fully serviced hut after Blue Lake Hut. We also had to make up for our unplanned zero day. I tried to remind myself I’m capable of anything I put my mind to, because 42 sounds like an absurd number of kilometers!? I was the last one to leave the hut besides Dyl, and crushed the first section, passing the majestic Blue Lake, and heading up hill through the forest. At the top of the hill, I reached Lake Constance. Wow, what a sensational view! Nature is truly remarkable- noticing dazzling tributaries and picturesque waterfalls as I tramped along as well. The glorious landscape made me the jolliest girl in the world, and served as a good reminder as to why I’m hiking the TA! After a short while, I caught up to Warrick and chatted with him a bit. We traveled up the scree together, until it came to a point where it levels off and you walk along side the mountain. It’s always inspiring seeing Warwick out here on the trail, and made me realize that I shouldn’t lament about my own aches and pains! That legend truly crushes the trail! After a bit, we ran into the U.K. Girls, Adam, and Hamish, and we all tramped together alongside the lake. I accidentally fell at one point, the awful spanish grass scratching my arm and legs up pretty good! Rawrrrrr. Similar to the North Island bush, the plants were grappling with me again! Thankfully, I was feeling well rested though, and ready to take on the day! As we followed along Lake Constance, the scenery was some of the most captivating that we’ve seen on the whole TA! We continued our quest through the valley, to the start of the Waiau pass. Dyl and Luzie caught up, and we all relished in a snack break before climbing uphill. The scree was fairly loose, and the track was a bit hard to follow. I was also remaining extra cautious not to slip and fall down the 1000 plus meters below me! However, getting up the mountain safely was the main goal, and as long as that’s achieved, then we’ve conquered the main objective! Wahooo! Lake Constance was visible the whole trek up the mountain, and the summit offered us phenomenal 360 degree views as well. When we got to the top, there was a bit of cell phone service, and I was able to message Rowan about plans for the next section. Certainly, a snickers break and sweet D-pics were also in order! We eventually headed down the mountain side, scrambling over large rocks, and sliding down steep slippery mud. I was as agile as a mountain goat and found the descent overtly exhilarating! The landscape was so beautifully overwhelming at one point that I could feel my mama dukes with me and I started to tear up. She stayed with me the rest of the day, and helped me carry on through the agonizing endless kms. It was especially ironic we were heading towards Anne Hut, which was my mamas middle name. Eventually, I passed Johannes, the Older German dude, and other TAers, cruising all the way down the mountain until I met the Waiau river. After going way ahead of the rest of the gang, I was a bit worried that everyone was ok. As I tramped along, feeling the sweat excrete from my exhausted body, the track was a mixture of rocks, stream crossings, and a well formed bush track. Hopping over rocks can be a bit tiresome, having to remain cognizant of each step and every move you make, and I always happen to twist my ankles! So, I took a ten minute breather to regain my strength and have a water break. The sun was also a blazing, and I could feel the beginning of a sunburn. Yet, I was thankful for the blue bird skies! Eventually, Hamish caught up to me, and him and I walked the rest of the way to the Caroline Creek Bivy together. It was 12kms from Blue Lake Hut to the Bivy, following the raging river mostly the whole way. For lunch, I had a delicious sun-dried tomato and salmon tapenade wrap, and another snickers. Hamish and I then waited for the others to join us for about an hour! The Bivy was a real simplistic hut with only two bunks and no toilet or water. It doesn’t look like the most comfortable place to stay, but if the weather was bad I suppose it would be a good shelter! From the Bivy, the 30kms to Anne Hut was fairly simple, passing many grassy flats, swamps, meadows, and a bit of classic NZ native bush. I enjoyed frolicking through the easy terrain, taking notice to the blooming flowers, diverse plant life, colorful butterflies, and chirping birds! There were lots of camping opportunities along the way, but we were determined to get all the way to Anne hut. Hamish and I pushed along, taking a tactical snack break every few hours. Dyl momentarily caught up to us, and we all walked the remaining 15kms to the hut together. There were definitely some sketchy river crossings, one in particular right before the trail veers right towards the hut. Also, the track was a bit ambiguous some of the time, and there were a few other trails that intersected with the TA track, making easy to get sidetracked. The last 5kms or so was on an old gravel road though, and super simple to follow. We were also hitting almost 6kms an hour. Cheyah. After we crossed the dodgey swingbridge, it was only a few more kms to Anne Hut! We can do it! When we finally arrived, there were a few new non TA people we chatted with! Having not seen Adam and Luzie for 30kms though, we were worried about them and hoped they were safe! Using the word “knackered”, as the kiwis say, would be an understatement. Hamish even fell asleep while in the middle of eating his pasta. Lolz. As soon as I laid down I was out. Though, in the middle of the night, I went outside to use the toilet, and saw the brightest shooting star I’ve ever seen! I could feel it was my mama up in heaven reminding me she’s okay and sending me some extra love :)! (42kms)

[im-no-jedi]

ok alright here we go here’s my super duper long ramble/fangirling post about S2 Voltron (SPOILERS APLENTY HERE) (MOBILE USERS BEWARE)

I’m gonna start off by saying that I would like to personally thank each and every single person who works on this show because OMG it is so. freaking. GOOD. especially the animation like???? let me hug everyone at Studio Mir please they are the BEST. and the music continues to be #On Point and exactly my type of music, please Dreamworks release a season two soundtrack PLEASE. also the pacing seemed better this time around?? season one felt SO rushed, like I blinked and it was over, but this season felt really well paced and not rushed at all, hallelujah \o/

ok now on to more specific things

I’m gonna sort my thoughts via each character cause that’s gonna be the easiest thing to do I think, also writing out my feelings for each episode would take much longer tbh

Shiro: UMMM. MY POOR BABY???? the season starts out with him already wounded and then proceeds to have him get attacked and thrown around by a bunch of alien beasts like???? can you not?????? making Shiro suffer is a running theme in this show and I DON’T WIKE IT. he suffered less from PTSD this time around tho, which I appreciated. he just suffered more physically instead hahahaha LET HIM REST FOR GOSH SAKES!!!!!! although I think I felt most bad for him during that rescue mission with Salv like OMFG poor Shiro LOL. him bonding with the black lion was.... OMG. I was so proud and happy for him. take that Zarkon you fudge nugget. also ALSO HIM BONDING WITH KEITH????? I WAS SCREAMING??????????? THE HUG??!?!?!?!???!??! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *ahem* anyway, I’m not even gonna get into the finale cause frick dat he’s fine he just is hiding under the control panel and is gonna pop up and surprise everyone later it’ll be great you’ll see :) he’s fine guys :) he is F I N E :) :) :) :) 8)

Pidge: A RELATABLE NERD WHO MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS. I already felt a connection to Pidge last season, but this one was literally like OMG... it me... if I were smarter anyway... :P. she was precious as always, not taking any crap from those dumb boys. I LOVED her episode on the techie planet, it was so good. her having to rescue everyone in the end was just... *insert Pacha pic here*. also umm Harm and I kept making predictions throughout the entire season and saying “YOU GUYS SHOULD DO THIS” and then Pidge would always be the one to say the EXACT thing that Harm and I had been saying all along (like the Black Lion being the thing that Zarkon was tracking) and it was like YES!!!! GIRL!!!!!! GET SHIZZ DONE!!!!!!!!! seriously Pidge is like the support character of this team, without her, they would literally be dead right now. I freaking love her. she is the BEST \o/

Hunk: GIVE THIS BOY A FRIGGIN MEDAL. SERIOUSLY. and that medal would be for being the absolute biggest sweetheart EVER. OMG. I’m so glad they chose to put him and Keith together for the Weblum episode cause Keith needed someone like Hunk after what he had just gone through OMG. Hunk wasn’t demeaning to Keith at all, he was actually genuinely curious about what had happened to him??? I’m crying????? also I know everyone is complaining about him being reduced to comedic relief and only talking about food and all that but like... he stated in the Eye of the Storm episode that cooking was how he destressed?? it’s his hobby?? he likes cooking and eating food?? I get it, ya’ll want a chubby character who’s not just there to eat food all the time. well, from what I recall, Hunk used his smarts pretty darn often in the season, especially in the Weblum episode. also he’s still a big lovable goofball that everyone on the team loves and what’s better than that tbh?? NOBODY on the team makes fun of Hunk for liking to eat and cook, and honestly, that’s incredible. I absolutely LOVED the parts in the space mall episode where he was cooking in the food court and everybody was loving his food. he was doing what he loves to do, and he was being GOOD at it. as an overweight person who also likes to eat often, I support Hunk and his food eating/making endeavors ^3^

Lance: I... honestly wish I could say more about him. unlike with Hunk, I do agree with the fandom that Lance pretty much got shoved to the side this season. besides the mermaid and rescuing Salv episodes, he didn’t do much at all. he was hilarious as always, but I’m starting to see season three Sokka syndrome here, and I’m not sure how to feel. I don’t have a problem with him being a comedic character, but it feels like they’re taking away from the really important stuff with his character. he didn’t even mention his Earth family this time around. is that not an issue for him anymore? with Pidge and now Keith both looking for their families, I feel like this might impact Lance more in the coming seasons. I really hope they delve more into his character in S3 cause we didn’t get much of him in the first season either. poor Lance :\

Keith: DO I EVEN HAVE TO SAY IT. DO I. COME ON. YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I’M GONNA SAY. I specifically saved Keith for last cause hoooooo BOY do I have a lot to say!!!!! firstly *SCREAMS FOR 84 YEARS*. secondly *SOBS FOR 84 MORE YEARS*. and lastly *DIES*. that is all. ........LOL jk. thank you thank you THANK YOU to the writers for giving him more of a focus this season. we complained that Keith was barely there in the first season and now this second season more than made up for it. this was Keith’s season, man. even more so than Shiro. I was one of the people who REALLY wanted Keith to be part Galra aND LO. THE WRITERS DELIVERED. *MORE SCREAMING*. I’m a bit disappointed that Thace wasn’t his father, but I’ll talk more about the Galra in a bit. also the fact that his mother is the one who’s a Galra? I didn’t even know there were female Galra since Haggar was the only female on the ship (and I was suspicious of her actually being a Galra anyway). but whatever, I’m not picky, IM JUST HAPPY IT’S A THING. The Blade of Marmora is my new Carnage of Krell and I’m gonna torture myself by watching it 20 more times hahahaha. I already mentioned the Shiro hug but also HE THINKS OF SHIRO LIKE A BROTHER??!?!!?!?!? UMMMMMMMMM??!??!!?!?!?!??!?!!?! I died to say the least. I’m still dying. I’m still dying A LOT. and and AND KEITH BEING PROTECTIVE OF SHIRO IN THE FIRST EPISODE?????? I CRIED????????? he was so supportive and helpful in this season, he really bonded more with the others, especially the Weblum episode OMG, I love his relationship with Hunk so much ;3;. and the stuff between him and Allura????? like I don’t ship it, but I was still screaming like... Keith is such a friggin sweetheart, he genuinely cares about everyone even though he doesn’t always show it, and he’s so loyal and protective and strong and I AM SO FREAKING IN LOVE WITH HIM HE IS PERFECT?????????????????????????? the fact that he was able to control the black lion in the first episode?????? he really is a good leader after all?????? this entire season was building Keith up so that he could take over for Shiro once he was gone and I’m??!!?!?!!?!!?! *SOBS FOR 84 YEARS AGAIN*. I’m honestly frightened for what the next season is gonna hold because nooooooo do not give Keith anymore grief and sorrow and worry, do NOT let him blame himself for losing Shiro, DO NOT MAKE HIM ANGSTY AGAIN, JUST LET HIM BE HAPPY AND FIND HIS FAMILY AND BE A GOOD SUBSTITUTE LEADER FOR SHIRO OK????????? that’s all I ask.... ;3;

ok that’s the main five, now on to the other characters...

Allura and Coran: I’m lumping them together because I can. Coran didn’t really change much this season, and I’m ok with that. I like him just the way that he is. the episode where he had the Slipperies was HYSTERICAL. I love him XD. Allura continues to just be... ok to me? I definitely don’t dislike her, but there are so many things about her that bothered me this season, it was hard for me to change my feelings about her at all. I got SO pissed at her about her issues with the Galra, it was ridiculous. especially when she was being a jerk to Keith, that was just infuriating. if this was the writers attempt at trying to showcase racism, then congrats to them cause they did a wonderful job at making me almost hate Allura LOL. I compare Allura to Katara a LOT, but unlike Katara, I feel like Allura might have more likable qualities to her. in terms of her racist feelings towards the Galra and Keith, she resolved them a heckuva lot quicker than Katara did with the Fire Nation, which I appreciated greatly. the way she handled her apology to Keith was even more satisfying than Katara’s apology to Zuko tbh. idk guys, I really want to like Allura more, and at times I like her more than others (like during the last couple episodes holy frick YOU GO GIRL \o/), but overall, I’m still just... ok with her. nothing more, nothing less. if I were to rank all of the main hero characters in order, she would probably be last. but I in no ways hate her, that’s for sure.

The Galra: again, lumping all together cause there are WAAAY too many characters that fit into this category for me to separate. like Keith, these guys were given a big focus this season, and I am SO GLAD. I really wanted to learn more about them in the first season, and I was super syked to learn that they weren’t all bad guys. the Blade of Marmora (the actual organization, not the episode of the same name) was SO. FRIGGIN. COOL. like yeah, they started off as a bunch of jerks, but thanks to the glorious efforts of my husband, they chilled out and joined with the team and kicked MAJOR butt in the finale, I was so friggin pleased. also Ulaz and Thace?? I’m hurt man. I’m hurt REAL bad. someone please tell me I’m not the only one who got Clone Trooper vibes from those two cause I AM HURT. if the Blade ends up being a bunch of sacrificial lambs for the rest of the season, IM WRITING A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER TO DREAMWORKS TO TELL THEM TO BACK THE FRICK OFF OF MY BOYS!!!!!!! also, like the Clones, I am conflicted on whether or not I want to adopt them all or marry them all but we won’t get into that *COUGH*. I hope more Galra join the Blade in the next season. and that we get to find out WHO TF THAT PERSON WAS THAT KEITH RESCUED INSIDE THE WEBLUM CAUSE I JUST KNOW THAT PERSON IS IMPORTANT SOMEHOW!!!! (calling it now, they’re related to Keith in some manner, also I think they were female). besides the Blade, I also enjoyed seeing other odd Galra that are actually part of Zarkon’s army, like Marvok and the cop from the space mall. more characters like them please \o/

aaaaand some final things to note

Zarkon literally turned into Megatron, he’s even in a coma like Megs was in the first season of TFP hahahaha

I had a theory that Haggar was a species other than Galra but I did NOT expect her to be Altean tbh

IF THEY NEVER SHOW OR MENTION THE COW AGAIN IM GOING TO BE VERY DISAPPOINTED IN THE WRITERS

forgot to mention it in Allura or Shiro’s sections but!!!! that hand hold!!! ALL ABOARD THE SHALLURA TRAIN 8D

immediately after finishing the season, I looked up Prince Lotor and I DO NOT WANT THEM TO CHANGE HIS CHARACTER AT ALL HE IS PERFECT THE WAY HE IS P L E A S E WRITERS OMG

please... let Pidge find her brother and dad soon... please writers...

I want more Altean history and I WANT TO KNOW WHO THE OTHER PREVIOUS PALADINS WERE

Harm and I couldn’t remember the name of the Taujeerians, so we just called them the Pooh aliens cause the leader was voiced by Jim Cummings (and they were really cute and chubby LOL)

that’s it :P