#thankfully my tendency to use washed out colors actually works here

[spicyraeman]

I haven't colored anything in so long..

[regrettablewritings]

Hi!😁 I'll give you another ship with my dear Lucifer morningstar from Lucifer cuz as it turns out I'm a hoe for a lot of characters but what can ya do? Thank you!

Aw hell yii, somebody's talkin' my lingo! 😎

Who the fuck put the Peeps in the microwave?: Lucifer. And no, it's not because he actually likes them or is curious about what would happen; he's seen plenty of Youtube videos enough to know exactly what happens. No . . . It's far more malicious . . . Generally speaking, you don't like the constant comparison of cats to the devil. But after getting to actually meet The Devil, you think that those believers might be on to something. Lucifer's whorey ways bleeds into his need for attention like red bleeds into white in the wash, and he's completely shameless about it. For example, if he feels like you may be focusing too much on work or, gasp, other people besides him, you run the risk of encountering a very . . . mischievous Luci. Not that he's not already a prankster, but he somehow becomes a bit more childish. Catlike in some respects. He puts your mugs up higher than what you can normally reach without having to climb on the countertop. He joins you at your kitchen table while you're reading over files for work and puts on his most angelic face, insisting he just wants to keep you company and will be as quiet as vermin in Dear Old Dad's house . . . then proceed to obnoxiously click a pen while pretending to solve a word problem, or eat cheese puffs obnoxiously loud. And then . . . the Peeps: The absolute prettyboy bastard used your microwave as a casualty of war, plopping the unplated, mutant-colored marshmallows directly on the glass and letting them go. To be fair, it technically didn't ruin anything. But at least he had your attention now -- because after fussing at him for making a mess, you were currently supervising him scrubbing not only the effected areas of the glass dish, but the rest of the microwave as well. Unfortunately, you can't say a lesson was really learned because now Luci knows that if he wants to get a rise out of you, what he needs is a bunch of candies from the bargain bin.

Who forgot to put the cat out before sex?: It's not that either of you forgot the cat was there -- it was that Lucifer wanted the bloody animal to give the both of you some privacy. And because Lucifer forgot the cat was there. He was simply too busy embracing you in a liplock and laying you down on the couch to notice the glaring eyes of the cat you had rescued from the shelter. Thankfully, you two didn't get very far before the lovingly-named Lucipurr released a meow, indicating that he had become flesh and bone in the few hours it had been since you'd last fed him. Suffice to say, after a startled Lucifer flung himself off of you and onto the floor, nearly breaking his ass on the coffee table (and the laughing fit that had induced on your end), the mood was killed. For the next fifteen minutes, that is. The next time he tried anything, Lucifer made sure that his efforts would be continued in the bedroom (but not before he did a complete check of every nook and cranny in there to make sure the furry bastard wasn't trying anything).

Who posts Vines/TikToks of the other doing embarrassing shit?: Lucifer absolutely lacks boundaries. The moment he discovered smartphones, social media, and all their potential, he was all in and recording as many videos of friends and coworkers as he could in as many awkward or unideal situations as they came. You felt bad for Dan being his constant target, but you were somewhat sure that Dan felt bad for you in a way: After all, you were dating the freaking guy and yet Lucifer had few qualms about posting a video of you, drunkenly singing karaoke in what was supposed to be a private room? Harsh.

Who breaks the most phones?: Lucifer does. He's not necessarily careless, but his part-time occupation does lead him to circumstances that tend to put his phone in danger. You, Chloe, Dan, literally everyone has told him to just leave his phone in the car if he's going to get it broken that often while on the job, but the dumbass never learns. Not that he really seems to care all that much: With his wealth, he can always buy a new one. Though, the only times he gets frustrated is when photos or videos don't quite make it to the transfer and things get lost along the way. Funny photos, suggestive videos, photos and videos of you . . . Photos and videos of you being funny or suggestive . . . Downright pornographic videos he had recorded of you -- Though don't worry: He's sure you'll be more than happy to help recreate the latter. He'd gladly help you . . .

Who dies first?: It should go without saying. It really should. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. Lucifer was always one to get caught up in his indulgences, after all: Somewhere along the way, he must've gotten too swept up in the thrill, the feeling of adoration. He tells himself this but it's really just denial. Closer to the truth is that it all really was just denial: He denied the idea that you would ever leave him, that you would ever die. Luci was never good with his own thoughts and feelings, but the way you made him feel was nearly enough to convince him that, in some way, you would just plain live forever. But of course, this was not the case: It didn't matter that you were fantastical enough to love and be loved by the Devil; you were still very much a human. Very much mortal. So susceptible to things like time and illness and injury. Lucifer was the King of Indulgences. It was extremely rare for him to experience regret. But when your time inevitably ran out, remorse filled him like smoke filled his lungs with every cigarette he ran through from the moment your funeral arrangements were decided. He could never regret knowing you, as much as part of him thought doing so would spare him this pain. He tried to think of how much better he might've been had he never met you, and it always felt like he was stuck in his own personal Hell Loop with everything going wrong over and over no matter how hard he tried to change it. He regretted that for as much time as he lived up with you, he felt like he didn't use nearly enough of that time to just . . . enjoy you. You in your mortality, your fleeting beauty and love that would nonetheless haunt him for however long he might go on for. So maybe . . . for eternity? This didn't feel like his own personal Hell Loop: This was his own personal Hell Loop. And until he learned to forgive himself, it would never end. So he'd be stuck here for maybe . . . eternity.

Which one I could see as being lactose intolerant: Neither. Unless they get brought down to mortal enough, Celestials generally don't suffer ailments, let alone from things like food allergies.

Who thinks they can do something really well even though they can't?: Lucifer . . . It's not that he's not smart. But by Dad, he is lacking in so much self-awareness that it can be maddening. He thinks he's pretty good at following Dr. Linda's advice (and, to an extent, he's progressing). But the fact of the matter is, he's incredibly troubling at best. Not nearly as bad as some patients, mind you, but when Linda admitted to you that one or two sessions of Lucifer completely misinterpreting her advice nearly drove her to consider adding a secret bar into her desk, you believed her and didn't blame her for one bit.

Who is more likely to get kicked out of bed?: Lucifer is a changed devil. But it's a very slow change. You're more than happy to understand and accept this, but that doesn't mean you have to let him and his issues walk all over you. Sometimes, the big dummy just says or does things without thinking -- or because he thought too hard and thought this was the best decision to avoid further strife. And you try to be patient with him about these tendencies, you really do. But that doesn’t erase your ability to be upset by these habits, or your right to be. And no amount of him buttering you up is going to be acceptable, even when he comes by your place, armed with a dish he so thoughtfully prepared for you. Nope, he can literally go to Hell with that (really, you’re sure the demons there would appreciate a nice beef wellington); you just need some space. Ironically, this may create a cycle wherein his need to make you happy again and have your attention on him drives him to constantly hover around you and attempt to win you over, which in turn just further frustrates you. It’ll likely keep going until you either snap or a loved one pulls Luci to the side and gives him a heads up that maybe he should respect your boundaries. After all, intention isn’t the problem here: It’s the actions taken. And as much as it hurts him knowing that he accidentally hurt you, he has to respect your need for time to cool off. He forces himself to go back to his place and tries to think less about how he feels and more about how you might feel, and try to work out ways to avoid similar incidents in the future. And even though the conclusions he comes to may not be perfect, you at least respect the effort -- particularly when he next sees you, no longer armed with snacks from your favorite bakery or bouquet-carrying teddy bears. Instead, all he has is an apology. It’s sheepish, and it feels foreign to someone who rarely experiences shame or regret, but you know his whole heart is in it even if he himself doesn’t understand entirely why that is. Which is good because that’s just part one of the process; part two involves him warming up that spot in your bed that’s reserved for him!

Who uses the computer the most?: You, absolutely. Lucifer's adorably but altogether completely crap when it comes to technology. Besides, he can easily find other things with which to amuse himself, and doing the paperwork is for other people anyway.

Thank you sooooo much for participating again!!! It really means a lot!!! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[ifonly4mynallas]

NIGHTMARES: PART 5 w/@BellaRAhgony

Bella: *I woke up from my nap with Nalla with a start. Nalla was snoring lightly beside me hugging her baby dragon Rhage had given her concentrating on her face as if she was trying really hard to grow.

I wiped the sweat from my brow and realized that these nightmares were getting out of control. Zsadist was worried about me. I he needed all his concentration out on the field. I’d never forgive myself if I ever became a distraction for him causing him to be hurt.

I picked up my phone and texted Mary to see if she wanted to have some coffee or hot chocolate with me in the library. It was time to talk to someone about these dreams. @IfOnly4MyNallas

Zsadist: Wrath had allowed me to cut back on my hours, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t have things to do. Tonight, I was on rotation, but I had nothing scheduled for after that, no training of, or driving the trainees home, no one-on-one sessions, and no sparring with any of the other males of the manse. Tonight I would actually be able to come home after fighting, put my young to bed, and see my shellan before she fell asleep. This was going to be a first in a very long time.

I took care in strapping on my gear. It was something I did almost every night, but I was methodical about it. Mary has said that my OCD tendencies spark from all the past trauma in my life. Now, my brain wants to control anything it can, right down to where and how all my weapons are strapped onto my body. A slight smile crossed my features as I thought about all that Mary had helped me with, over the years. She made me realize why I did a lot of the things I did, and it made me come to grips with who I was and who I wanted to be. She made me face things I didn’t want to, and head on. It took a while, but I was in such a better place now, then I had been for over two centuries. Well, recently I had been having some issues, but I was still better off than I had been a decade ago. I could only hope that once Bella spoke to Mary, Mary could do the same for her. I knew it was going to be an uphill battle, and it wouldn’t happen overnight, but if anyone could help Bella with what she was going through, it would be Mary.

Bella: *It was almost time for Last Meal by the time Mary and I were done talking. We spent hours in the library talking about those weeks I had been kidnapped those many years ago. Mary went down the hall and stairs and straight into the kitchen. She apparently wanted to see if could get away with baking cookies for Rhage before Fritz catches her.

I shook my head and the image of my head of Fritz keeping track of Mary will preparing the rest of Last Meal. For such an older doggen, he could still multitask like a young vampire. I head towards the playroom where Beth was watching the kids and see if Nalla needed to change clothing before Last Meal.

Walking into the playroom, I witness Nalla just as she flicked some blue paint at LW with Beth laughing at their antics. My head fell back in laughter as I pulled my phone out to take a picture. Nalla was covered in all sorts of colors. “Mama!!” she yells with a big grin. “How beautiful, baby.” I commented as she proudly showed me her artwork. Beth hands me a towel I could wrap around her so I wouldn't get paint on myself and we said our quick see you laters as we retreated to our suites to get the kids cleaned up for dinner.

As I gave Nalla a bath, I thought about Mary’s suggestion to perhaps start training with the trainees. At least in self defense. She thought that if I could defend myself that I would feel more powerful and more confident. Then perhaps in my dreams a different outcome would manifest. Nalla was singing and playing with the bubbles as my mind wondered about how Z would react.*

Zsadist: It had been one of the craziest nights I had experienced in a while. I had been paired with Phury and it was as if we had walked into a hive of lessers. We barely had time to call for backup before the action got rough. There were about twelve of them, and the two of us. Thankfully, Phury and I knew how to work as a team. We may not have been raised together, and may have lived a lifetime apart, but we were twins to our marrow. He zigged and I zagged. We were Yin and Yang when it came down to fighting. I was lean and fast. He had strength and power. Together we were virtually unstoppable. But, twelve were just a couple too many for the two of us to handle. We were warriors, we weren’t stupid. We knew when to call for backup and tonight was that night.

JM and Q were the two that showed up in an instant. As much of a hothead as Q was, I respected him. He was almost as scrappy as I used to be. And, JM was the one that saw the fight as a whole and plotted it out before he jumped in. Between the four of us, we had the situation under control in about 15 minutes.

It’s amazing how fast things can happen. A battle that seems almost insurmountable can be won in the blink of an eye. Yet, when it comes to battles of another nature, like the mind, they can take years, sometimes decades to barely gain a footing.

At the end of the fight, Phury called for Butch to run cleanup. As soon as Butch’s feet touched the ground, I was gone, dematted back to the manse. I could do my debrief tomorrow. Tonight, I was going to see my shellan and my young to bed.

*****

It took me all of ten minutes to scrub the lesser blood off my body down in the training center. I never took this shit to my quarters. I kept anything to do with the lessers as far away from my family as possible. It was kinda like church and state. There was work and there was life. It wasn’t so long ago that my life was encapsulated by fighting. Now, I had my life with Bella and Nalla. If it weren’t for them…

I quickly tossed my soiled clothes into the laundry room, on the way by, and raced up two sets of stairs to my bed chambers. As I slowly opened the door and walked in, I called out, “Bella?”

Bella: *I was still lost in my thoughts as Nalla said “Papa” and I realized that Zsadist had returned home. Relief washed through me as I could her his baritone voice echoed into the bathroom.* In here! *I responded as I finished rinsing Nalla’s hair from the shampoo as she continued to play with some bath toys. Z walked in and his beautiful citron eyes focused on me and he kissed my neck on both sides before giving me a kiss. Then he pulled a towel from the rack and opened it up for Nalla to snuggle in and dry off. I smiled as Nalla giggled as she shook her hair making all the water goes everywhere. Z teasingly scold her for the mess but smiles. I picked up another towel to dry off her hair as we both starting drying her off together and getting her ready for bed.

We had a routine, after a bath and brushing her teeth, Z and her laid in our mating bed to read a book until she fell asleep and he carried her to her nursery. I watched for a bit as I got myself for bed. I could hear their voices together, him reading and her babbling in baby talk with a few words here and there. Zsadist had come a long way since she was born and I’m forever grateful to the Virgin Scribe that our family was whole and healthy.

I wondered how to broach the subject that Mary had suggested. I wasn’t sure if Zsadist would take it as thought he could not protect me. Of course he could. Mary’s thought was that perhaps it would build my courage and confidence in myself. It was about me and my nightmares and what I needed to get rid of them.*

Zsadist: I can’t even tell you how good it felt to be able to do all this again. On nights that I actually made it home from work early enough to see my young to bed, this had been our routine. However, those nights had been few and far between for quite some time, so to be able to lie back, in my mated bed, and read to Nalla as she fought to stay awake, was like what I expect walking into The Fade must be like, pure fucking heaven. She cooed and babbled on, as if to respond to what I was reading, and every time I thought she was asleep, her eyes would pop back open and she would start all over. She didn’t realize that this wasn’t one of those rare nights that she would see her sire before bed. She had no way of knowing that tomorrow would be the same, and the night after that, and the night after that. She would take some time to get into this new routine.

Finally, after two books, both read twice, she finally knocked out hard. So, I quietly put the books down on the bedside table and slid my arms under her tiny frame. For a second, I thought she might wake up again, but she didn’t. She just rolled over in my arms, slinging one around my neck and started snoring again.

Gently, I walked her into the adjoining nursery and laid her down in her crib. I stole a few minutes to watch her sleep before heading back into Bella and my part of the suite.

“She’s out.” I let Bella know before walking over and wrapping my arms around her waist and kissing her neck from behind. “So, how was your day, my Nalla?”

Bella: *I was just finishing up brushing my teeth when Zsadist came up behind me. I turned my head to kiss him sweetly as we greeted each other.* It was … productive.

Mary spent some time talking today. *I waited to see if he would respond. He stayed quiet as waited for me to continue. I turned around in his arms so I could look up at him and fully gage his reactions.*

She feels that perhaps the nightmares stem from my insecurities. Everyone has been so busy lately so it’s just been Nalla and me mostly. So we’re by ourselves most nights while your out in the field. *I shrugged, I didn’t want to make him feel guilty about doing his job. The Brothers were out there protecting the race … savings lives. They saved mine not too long ago. So I fully understood the importance of what he did each not personally.

I had no idea how Zsadist would take what she suggested next. I never wanted him to feel that he wasn’t enough to protect me or Nalla. I took a deep breath and quickly told him what we discussed.*

She thought perhaps I need to train in self defense. Learn how to protect myself.

Zsadist: Once she turned, I leaned in and began to kiss down Bella’s neck as she spoke. I loved the way her head would ever-so-slightly lean toward me when I did that. I don’t know if she was even aware of it, but it was just one of those endearing things. However, when she mentioned being home alone all the time, I pulled back. This was something I was working on. I had already gone to Wrath about it, I had cut back on my hours, I was here now, and I planned on being here most every night from here on out. Was this a guilt trip? I know I haven’t been around, I’ve made a point to correct that. Is she upset that it took her nightmares to make me realize. Well, maybe so, but she also could’ve mentioned them to me. She could have spoken up long before. She didn’t have to suffer through all the nights she did and not told me there was a problem.

I knew that my thoughts were flying off the handle, but I already felt guilty enough. It was bearing down on everything and wearing my patience thin. I took a deep breath as I waited for the other shoe to drop. I had no idea what it would be, but I was expecting some long, drawn out night of this to escalate into, “You just haven’t taken my feelings into consideration, lately.” or maybe, “What about your young? Doesn’t she matter to you, at all.” I certainly wasn’t expecting what did come out of her mouth.

Instinctively, images of another Brother’s arms wrapped around Bella, as she tried to get herself free of him, flashed across my mind and I began to see red, pacing the tiled, bathroom floor like a caged tiger. There was no way in fuck this was going to happen! Absolutely, fucking, not!

Then memories of my conversations with Mary creeped in. Talk about trusting in oneself. I had the utmost respect for that woman, and if this was what she was recommending… Shit! I stopped and scrubbed my face with my hands. If this was what Bella needed, I needed to stand behind her...but, the training she would be doing would be with Payne, or Xhex, or even with the other female trainees. She would not be training with any of the males. I loved most of my brothers, but they were not laying a finger on my shellan! “Nalla, if that is going to be what makes you feel comfortable, better, and stops these nightmares from happening, then I’m good with it. But, I will have conditions.”

Bella: *I looked up at him and watch his expression stay tight and all emotion gone unless you paid attention. His citron eyes giving him away. Imperceptible. Barely. If his eyes had been midnight black … you could only see darkness at the surface. You had to look deeply.

I could see curiosity, anger, guilt? He seemed relieved. Which was odd. Not an expression that I was expecting. Anger. Disappointment in me maybe. As I looked into his citron eyes all I could see was concern now.* Conditions? Wait, you’re not angry? Or offended?

*I was pleased that he knew that I never doubted his ability with protecting me. I knew he would lay his life for me. Mary and I spoke about my fears about his doubts. Zsadist and I have come a long way since we came into each other's lives. I thought back at those weeks I spent in this very manse after being rescued. I had felt so guilty that I could stop from being near him when I knew he didn’t want anything intimate with me. My need to feed … I could still feel my surprise with finding him scrubbing his wrists raw … cleansing himself of unseen contamination.

My memories were jarred from the past and back into the present, as Z’s voice penetrated through my woolgathering.*

Zsadist: Angry? Offended? More like anger and guilt… at the fact that as much as I wanted to be, I couldn’t be by hers or Nalla’s side 24/7. There would be times in their lives when it was going to be up someone else to put their lives in front of my Nallas. That thought gutted me to the core. It was my responsibility to keep them safe from any kind of harm, however, it was also my duty to keep the race safe. I couldn’t do both, 100% of the time. So, as much as it did anger me, and yeah, maybe it offended me in some small part, I understood why this subject had come up.

The other thing was, after all my years of treatment with Mary, I had to remind myself that none of this was about me. This was all about Bella and her sense of security, and as much as I would like to be the knight in shining armor in her dreams, she has to be that for herself. I wanted her to be that for herself. I wanted her to feel that no matter what, she had the ability to stand on her own two feet.

Reaching back out and pulling her close again, I looked into her eyes. “Nalla, as much as I want you to trust that I will always be there to put myself in harms way to keep you safe, I know that in all actuality, I can’t be there, with you 24/7.” I pulled back just a tad, “That kills me, by the way!” Offering up a soft smile, I continued, “Also, after all my time with Mary, I understand that this isn’t about me. It has nothing to do with me. This is all about you, you and your ability to trust in yourself. I know that in here...” I put one palm on her chest, right above her heart, “is a warrior’s heart, and if you doing a little bit of training is what you need to believe that truth, then I’m all for it.”

Bella: *I knew this would be hard for Z. I can also understand it may get harder for him. Especially after my first bruise … I remembered what it was like for the boys at the beginning with they were pre-trans and after. It made me happy though to see them now. I guess I needed to talk to Xhex and Payne about seeing if they could make some time for me in their schedule. Cause sure as Dhund … none of the Brothers would ever consider it.*

Are you sure? Are you ready to possible see bruises on me? *Dame watching those eyes go from citron to obsidian in a blink of an eye was something else.* Baby, you know it will happen when I start sparring. I have to engage to learn. *I said slowly as I watched the blackness slowly disappear into the yellow I love after a few moments of contemplation.* Just know that it just means that I’m growing stronger … hopefully. Unless you want to teach me? *I asked knowing that he would no doubt refuse. He would never be able to strike me. I could however see him instructing me with the punching bag or something.*

Zsadist: At the mention of bruises, every single muscle in my body went rigid and fire sparked in my soul. The very thought that my Nalla was going to be marred in any way, shape, or form made me think twice about my compliance in the whole idea. How was I going to lie next to my shellan every single night, seeing these wounds all over her body, and just be okay with it? How was I going to handle her flinching at my touch? A low rumble radiated from my gut at the thought. Then I saw the look in her eyes. She needed this so fucking much. How could I say, “No?”

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes to process everything that was running through my mind. I was going to have to make peace with this. Then she dropped the next bomb.

Me teach her?! Was she fucking mad?! I took a step back, held up my arms, and shook my head once. “Absolutely not! And don’t think of asking any of my Brothers. Training will be with Xhex, or better yet, Payne. You probably shouldn’t work with any of the female trainees. Most of them don’t know how to fight their way out of a wet paper bag yet, and you’d only get hurt.” I took a step back in and put my finger to Bella’s chin, “Can we agree on Xhex or Payne?”

Bella: *Smiles as I predicted his reaction correctly.* I was thinking of you teaching me techniques like a punching bag or something, Z. *Shakes my head knowing he would never be able to hit me in any form.*

But yes, I can agree with Xhex or Payne. I’m sure they both wouldn’t mind. *After a few moments of further contemplation his eyes finally returned to the beautiful citron. I knew it would be difficult for him to see me hurt in any way. I remembered once when he wouldn’t even let me dematerialize when I was pregnant before I was unable to. A bonded male always protects their mate regardless sometimes of the ridiculousness. I smile and give him a kiss.*

Try not to worry baby, ok? And let’s avoid watching any of my training sessions, shall we? *I suppressed an internal cringe at the thought of him watching me spar with Xhex or Payne. I highly doubt that he would ever strike a female but one was a symphath with her own set of hidden assets and the other was half deity also with her own special gifts.*

Zsadist: Leaning in, I returned her gentle kiss. I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle all this. Saying I was okay with it and being okay with it was going to be two entirely different things. Right now, I could spit out the words. Living through it all was going to be next to impossible, though.

Throwing my head back, I let out a hefty groan. “Me, watch? Seriously?” There was no way in Dhund I was going to step foot in that gym while anyone was putting their hands on my shellan. Someone might end up hurt. The only female I ever dreamed of doing harm to was my mistress. However, I couldn’t promise that my instincts wouldn’t take over were I to witness any harm coming to Bella. I think I might just see red and lose all sense. “Bella, no need to worry about that. I won’t even be stepping foot downstairs on nights you are training.”

Reaching an arm around Bella’s waist, I pick her up and carry her off to our bed. “Now, less talk … “ I suggest as I drop her on the bed and lean in to indulge in my female.

#Nightmares #PartFive #SaintsNSinners #BDB  #SASBDB

[hanatagami]

Ａ Ｇｕａｒｄｉａｎ Ｃｈａｒａｃｔｅｒ ｉｓ Ｂｏｒｎ! (Ch. 1)

Opening his eyes, his ears were greeted with the loud chirping of an alarm clock. This being the source of his awakening, aggravated him slightly but he knew it was important. Uncovering himself from his bed, he moved his legs off the bed and into his slippers. Standing, he muffled a yawn and moved into his bathroom. Looking in the mirror he saw a young pale boy, with snow white hair ruffled from his tossing and turning. His eyes were a bright ruby red, contrasting well with his pale complexion. He started his morning routine, brushing his hair and teeth, putting on deodorant, and walked back into his room. Hung up on the closet was his school uniform.

“Good morning Haruto-kun.” Reo, his guardian character, greeted him. Reo was small, obviously, with messy white hair and red eyes. Headphones were adorned on his head, he had a white shirt, a white and purple coat with a purple bow at the collar. He had black shorts with purple frills over it, and white linings. His shoes were small boots that were white, black soles, and purple linings. “Good morning Reo, another new day.” His soft voice rang out, a little raspy from his sleep. Haruto undressed himself from his sleepwear, slipping on his school uniform afterwards. His uniform consisted of a white button up shirt, blue plaid shorts, calf length black socks, brown slip on shoes, a big, black cardigan, and a blue tie. “You say that, but you only do the same things over and over again! If you’d let me chara change you wouldn’t be so scared to do things.” Reo complained, crossing his arms and giving Haruto a pout.

“I’m trying not to stand out...It’s embarrassing…” He blushed, fiddling with his fingers. The thought of having a whole crowd staring at him terrified him! Since he was usually so quiet in nature, if he were to have a sudden outburst of energy...With a puff, his face turned to a bright red, “It’s too embarrassing!” “How are you supposed to be a voice actor if your afraid of socialising?! You have to actually talk to be a voice actor.” His chara criticized him, before helping help him straighten out his tie and collar. “Well that’s the good thing of being a voice actor, no one will look at me except a couple people. That’s why i’m not just being an actual actor.” He pouted. Reo retreated back into his egg with a sigh, and floated into Haruto’s bag. Haruto looked towards his desk, and took out an earring. It was an earring his mother gave him. It had four hearts in the shape of a four leaf clover. It was small enough to hide behind his hair, so thankfully nobody asked about it. Haruto walked downstairs, the smell of his mom's delicious breakfast wafting through the house. “Good morning Mom.” Haruto greeted his mom. His mother was a youthful looking woman, looking like she was in her twenties when she was actually in her forties. She had waist length white hair, and stunning sapphire eyes. “Good morning dear, can you make sure your sister is awake? You know her.” He hummed a sound of agreement before walking back upstairs. His sister has a habit of just turning off the alarm and getting up, but falling back asleep in the weirdest positions. He assumed it was from how energetic she was through the day. He knocked twice before entering, “Big sis? You awake?” He glanced around the room, his red eyes spotting her quickly. She was face first on the floor, snoring heavily. Her hair was messy and sprawled around her body. Her legs were positioned awkwardly. They were resting on the bed, keeping the lower half of her body raised.

‘I can assume she tried to literally drag herself out of bed…’ He walked over and poked her head with his foot. He got a grumble. He crouched down and turned her over and started lightly slapping her face. Her eyes opened slightly, gazing at her brother.

She gave a small yawn, leaning up and stretching along side it. “Good morning, Haruto…” Etsuko was an average height female who sported long thigh-length white hair, pale, skin and had the same ruby colored eyes as him. If he grew a bit taller, people could mistake them as twins. “You better hurry, Mom is almost finished making breakfast, and I won’t hesitate to steal your food Etsuko.” He joked, with a soft smile. Turning on his heel, he walked out of her room. He could hear her scrambling to get dressed. She was a little too passionate about food. Sitting down at the table, he could hear his mom giggling from all the ruckus Etsuko was making. Mom set a plate of sausage, eggs, and a slice of toast.

“Thanks for the food.” He dug into his moms food. It was delicious, per usual. She always made the best food, not that he would say. That’s too embarrassing… “Good morning!” Etsuko said and walked downstairs, wearing a black elbow length shirt, jeans, and black and white sleeveless cardigan. “Did Dad leave already?” Etsuko asked, plopping herself down in her chair.

“Yes, Yuuki has an important business meeting today.” Yuuki was Haruto’s dad. He was a short guy, barely standing at his wife's chest. He had blonde hair, tan skin, and red eyes. Haruto and Etsuko hardly looked anything like him, except for their eyes. People had a tendency to think he was their stepdad.

“You’re presenting you project to your class in college today, right Etsuko?” Their mother questioned, washing her hands at the sink. “Yep! I finished it just in time, all thanks to Haruto!” She wrapped her arm around his shoulders, pulling him in a hug while laughing haughtily. Etsuko wanted to be a fashion designer when she was older, and used Haruto as her model and mannequin.

He stood up abruptly, a small blush adorning his cheeks. “I’m gonna get going, I don’t want to be late.” He picked up his slice of toast, got his bag, slipped his shoes on and left.

~Time skip~

Walking through the school gates, he kept his eyes to the floor. He didn’t want to be noticed, thought it never really worked.

“Look there he is.”

“He’s so cute!” “He looks so frail and fragile, kinda like a doll.”

He blushed as he heard the whispers going around. This always happened. They always talked about him and his looks, but no one ever really tried to talk to him. It was like he was a doll in a glass case with a sign that said ‘Do Not Touch’.

But he wasn’t all that lonely. He had Reo after all.

*THUMP*

Haruto stumbled back.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured looking up. ‘Oh no.’ He had bumped into him. The Prince. His face paled, if even possible.

“No, it’s ok. Just try to watch out from now on, alright?” Hotori smiled, stunning the albino. Hotori actually sparkled. Almost blinded by Hotori’s dazzling face, he stammered out an “E-Excuse me.” Before speed walking towards his classroom. Hotori looked as the boy who scattered away, a worried look on his face.

“Jeez, you’re so embarrassing Haruto.” Reo complained, sitting on his partners head.

Haruto pouted slightly. “What do you expect, Hotori is the King of the guardians. One of the most popular guys in school, how could I not be nervous.” He whispered, so no one could hear him talking to himself.

He took his seat in last row second seat in the front, right in front of the infamous Hinamori. At first it scared him, but Hinamori didn’t really talk to anyone so she never said anything to him. She was probably too annoyed with his shy nature. Thinking about it made him depressed, sighing as he laid his in his arms.

“Did you hear how she stopped those bullies from taking money?”

“Yeah, I did! Hinamori-san’s so cool!”

“It’s like she’s in a class by herself.”

“It feels like you even have to approach her with caution.

“The way she wears her uniform is really cool, too.”

The other students continued to ramble on about how her mom was a famous journalist and her dad was a famous photographer, and about her older foreign boyfriend. He didn’t really believe them, he’s never heard of a Hinamori before her. If they were really that famous, people would already be talking about them.

The bell rings and the students get to their seats, a new day has started.

~Timeu Skipu~

Haruto walked into the school gates and was stopped by a huge crowd of screaming boys and girls. He already knew, The Guardians. “They’re all literally sparkling. Must be a guardian thing.” He mumbled to himself.

They all looked amazing, as usual.

“What’s going on?” Haruto turned his head and is met with Hinamori, frantically shoving something into her bag. It looked like...an egg. She started looking around frantically, holding the bag to her chest.

“Hey, what’s happening?” Before she could run off, Hotori grabbed her shoulder. Haruto looked on in anticipation with the crowd.

“Um you...Are you…” He began, but was cut off by Hinamori slapping his hand off her shoulder.

“Eh!?!’ Almost every shouted in shock.

“Would you mind not touching me like that, shrimp?” She asked, more like demanded, coldly.

“Oh, i’m sorry.” Is all Hotori said. ‘Who could blame him, everyone is shell shocked by that.’

Hinamori walked off, leaving basically half of the school there in shock.

“Hinamori is brave. I would never be able to do that, especially not to Hotori-san…” Haruto said before walking away.

“But Haruto-kun! That thing in her bag!” Reo said, poking his head out of the bag.

“That was definitely a dream egg.”

“You should talk to her!” Reo suggested floating out in the open.

“Are you kidding? She’d make fun of me, i’d probably annoy her. There's no way I could talk to her.” Haruto said, “Not get back in my bag, someone might see you!”

“With that attitude, you’ll never make any friends!” Reo stuck his tongue out, before floating back into bag.

“Hmmm, the shy kid has a shugo chara too? Alright!”

~Skip Time~

We will now begin the Fall Guardians’ Assembly. For our first order of business, I’d like to announce the results of the survey regarding school uniforms.”

‘Here comes another boring assembly. I wish I could of just stayed in the classroom.’ His eyes were wandering from guardian to guardian. He made eye contact. Kukai Souma, the Jack and one of the most popular guys at this school, was looking at him.

‘W-Why is he looking at me? Is there something on me? Is my tie crooked?’ Haruto started slowly playing with his uniform, as to not draw attention. ‘Why didn’t anyone tell me!’  face started turning red, looking up at Kukai who gave you a smirk and a wink.

His neck up to his ears turned completely red. ‘Kukai is too handsome for his own good!’

“Are you ok?” Someone next to him asked. He nodded and said, “I’m just feeling a little light headed.”

“You want me to take you to the nurse?”

“If you would.” The person next to him stuck up their hand, “I’m gonna take Kanade-kun to the nurse, he isn’t feeling well.” Hotori gave them a nod and you got up and they started leading you to the nurses office. “Anything else before we continue?” Hotori asked looking back to the crowd.

“I do! I’m sorry about what I said. The truth is, I like you, Prince!” Haruto looked in shock as Hinamori, the cool and spicy Amu Hinamori, confessed her love to someone she insulted that morning in front of the entire school population. Everyone stared in shock until, “We’re in the middle of an assembly, so please refrain from making unrelated comments. Also, I already like someone. I’m sorry.”

‘Oh my god. She just got rejected in front of the whole student body!’ Amu flew out of seat, and running out the door, bumping into you along the way.

“Ya know, I can go to the nurse myself. Thank you though.” He says before walking.

As soon as the closed he started chasing after her. Why? He didn’t know. What he did know is he couldn’t leave her like that.

He reached the school gates, panting heavily. Grasping his knees he looked to the side and saw her run into a construction site.

“H-Hinamori-san!” He stood back up and ran in after her.

Then he fell into a giant pit. “A-AH!” He shrieked as fell next to a girl, who shrieked in return.

“Ouch, what happened?” Haruto complained as he rubbed his head. He opened his eyes and lord and behold, Hinamori sat there with a shocked expression on her face.

“Kanade-kun? Did you...follow me?” Her eyes went wide and a small blush appeared on her face.

“Y-yeah, sorry if you didn’t want me too! It’s just, I don’t think I could leave someone alone when they were hurt so bad…” He looked down sheepishly.

Hinamori raised an eyebrow at his nervous stuttering, but let a small smile on her face. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, we’re still kind stuck in a hole. Sorry, I shouldn’t have just ran blindly.” He apologized.

“G-geez don’t apologize! It’s not your fault.” She yelled, making him flinch back in fear.

“What are we gonna do?” She stood up, looking at the sky.

“Amu-chan!” She looked at you, “Did you say that?”

Haruto shook his violently and pointed at her bag. She looked and the a pink egg with a big heart on it popped out of her bag. It flew in the air right in front of Hinamori’s face and started cracking.

“W-what?”

*POP*

“What are you doing Amu-chan?!” A small girl with pink in a side pony, wearing a pink tennis dress, pink sneakers, and a pink visor hat with a big heart attached to it yelled.

“Let’s jump!”

“J-jump?”

“Character change: From a girl who can’t jump, to a girl who can!” Amu’s hair clip changed from it’s x to a heart, as wing accessories appeared on her hands and feet.

“Hop! Step! Jump!”

With those three words, Hinamori flew into the air, before safely landing on top of the in-construction-building.

“Reo, can you help me get out of this hole?” Haruto asked as his chara flew out of his bag.

“I sure can!”

“Whisper! Shout! Sing!” With those words, a choker with a crescent moon trinket appeared around his neck, along with two purple ribbons that resembled diamonds appeared in his hair.. Haruto took a deep breathe in, crouched down, and jumped. He flew out of the whole and landed safely on the ground. He looked up at Hinamori, who was now talking to some guy with cat ears and a tail.

“Hmm, it looks like he’s holding something. It looks like...Eggs!” Haruto shouted, his personality more outgoing and energetic due to the character change. Hinamori ran towards the strange boy, reaching out for the eggs. She got em, but she was currently falling from the building.

“Hinamori-san!” Haruto went to jump and catch her but stopped when he saw something rip from Ikuto’s hand to her, and caused a bright light to appear. Haruto looked to the side, watching as Hotori ran up next to him.

“Is…” Haruto said.

“That’s…” Hotori followed.

Hinamori landed to the ground and jumped back up, very high in the sky. She wore a  pink crop top with ruffles at the bottom, a pink skirt with a red ribbon, two pink armbands, pink sneakers with pink leg warmers, a long red ribbon tied at her neck, and a visor hat with a large pink heart attached.

“Character Transformation!” Haruto and Hotori shouted.

“Amazing. She’s already progressed so far.” Hotori looked up in awe, as Hinamori flew down from the sky.

Before she untransformed and started plummeting to the floor.

“Reo, we should-”

“Holy Crown!” Hotori shouted a large yellow crown appeared from a staff he apparently summoned. Hinamori fell into it with a bounce. It faded away and she landed safely into the Prince’s arms.

‘Wait. The Prince.’ Haruto’s ribbons and choker disappeared as his face turned pink and he shuffled away from him.

‘I forgot! I’m supposed to be at the nurse’s office!’ Sweat appeared on his face as the cat boy from earlier landed on a blue bulldozer a little bit away from them.

“You again, little king?” The blue haired cat guy smirked, his tail wagging tauntingly.

“It’s against the rules to go after eggs right after they’re born!” Hotori yelled, setting Hinamori to the floor.

“Not to mention you tried to get your hands on the Humpty Lock. Tsukiyomi Ikuto!”

Hotori shouted to the now named Tsukiyomi.

“I think it’s your fault for leaving it there, nya!” Tsukiyomi’s shugo chara taunted.

“I won’t give you the Embryo!”

“Embryo?” Hinamori asked, looking at Hotori in confusion.

Tsukiyomi clenched his fist and raised it, a giant blue paw appearing. He swiped at us, but in the nick of time Hotori stepped in front of the two and shouted, “Holy Crown!”

The same golden crown from before appeared and absorbed the attack.

The winds from the attack caused Haruto to clench his eyes chut, only opening them when the winds died down.

“They’re gone.” Hinamori said.

“That was scary…” Haruto whimpered, stepping towards the two.

“He’s good at stirring up trouble. I guess he ran away.” Hotori turned around and gave the two of them a smile. He dug in his pockets and pulled out a handkerchief and pressed it to Hinamori’s cheek with a charming smile.

“Are you guys okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” Haruto squinted as Hotori resumed to literally sparkle.

“I’m fine.” Hinamori said after a pregnant pause.

Hotori gave his handkerchief to Hinamori and turned to Haruto, “What about you? You were feeling sick earlier weren’t you? Do you want me to take you to the nurse?” Hotori laid his hand on Haruto’s shoulder, causing him to look down with a blush.

“I should be fine.”

“Hotori-kun, we need you back at the Guardians’ Assembly. Everyone’s waiting.” Fujisaki Nadeshiko had suddenly appeared, causing Haruto to flinch. Hotori nodded and looked at Hinamori, “You should go home for the rest of the day. See you.” Hotori started to walk, before stopping and turning to Haruto.

“Kanade-san, why don’t you come with us? We’ll walk you back to the assembly.”

“Oh, um, sure.” Haruto agreed before nervously walking next to Fujisaki.

“U-um.” Hinamori started, catching the attention of them.

“Um, t-this.” She pointed towards the lock at her chest. ‘It looks like…’ Haruto touched the earring on his right ear.

“Why don’t you hold on to it for now, Hinamori Amu-san. With that, you all walked away to leave Amu in her awed state.

“Oh, by the way Kanade-san where did you get that earring? It’s super cute!” Fujisaki complemented giving a smile to him.

“Oh, um, my mother gave it to me. She said she had gotten it from a friend, and wanted to give it to me as a birthday gift.” Haruto lifted his hair up a bit for them to see.

“It looks good on you.” Hotori complimented, and Fujisaki nodded her head along too.

“T-t-thank you very much…” WIth a red face, he looked down. The two of them laughed, “Well we’ll see you sometime soon Kanade-san.”

The walked back in the stadium, leaving him standing there red faced.

“You’re so lame, Haruto-kun.” Reo slightly annoyed at being ignored, insulted.

“H-hey, shut up!” Haruto shouted at his chara who just snickered and flew into his egg.

‘Today was kind of a good day. I wonder, could I call those three my...friends?’

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I hope you liked it! So, i'm not very good at dedicating myself but i'll try to get chapters out weekly?

I LOVE Shugo Chara. It was my childhood, I remember coming from school and immediately sitting down and watching it on my computer nonstop. It sucks not being able to find a lot of fanfiction about, so I thought i'd make one of my own.

[daimonic-clown]

Project Starlight

Day one of experimentation

 That is, experimentation after the surprisingly underwhelming first incarnation. Starlight rose tincture was my first endeavor, and it was horrible in most categories. The taste was bland, the effects were lackluster at best, and generally it looked like glowing dye; so it was horribly suspicious off the get-go.

However, it is a good idea. I can sense it. This will be the base of the end result: it may make up the bulk of the resulting liquid, but the effects of it may end up overshadowed by other concoctions.

Let me take a moment to list out basic traits of alchemy that act as the greatest struggles here. Firstly, a mixture of unlike benefits can create disastrous side-effects. Heart attacks, strokes, perhaps even a horrible rush that could foster a psychological reliance. The goal is to act as a support to an inevitable cure.

Secondly: it must curb cravings and sate internal addiction without, at the same time, making a larger threshold in which sating occurs. In other words: addiction works in a sense of a threshold. If you give someone, say, a small amount, then a small amount will continue to sate them. However, if you were to give them a medium amount, then a small amount will no longer do. The same happens to a large amount and the ever so horrible overdose amount. A seasoned addict could potentially skim by on overdose quantities, though it is rare. Some among the shal'dorei are not so horribly bound by the magic of the Nightwell, and so they must be taken into account above all. The concoction, otherwise, would act as a detriment to them. The struggle lay in – what of the seasoned addicts? Those at high or overdose quantities? They will receive few effects from a simple curb strategy to support towards a cure. It is like throwing a wet napkin at a forest fire. Therefore, alternatives must exist in the formula: it must be for everyone.

Third: it must be presentable and taste moderately well. These bastards are used to extravagant taste. I could care less if they were drinking something akin to the taste of a kodo’s ass, but alas, that taste threshold is essential. Otherwise, they will vomit it before it can even have effects. The presentation is equally essential: it may very well be illegal. I sense whatever the cure may be to this plight will come slowly, and therefore  if the chance of my concoction being frowned upon happens, it must look pretty as much as taste nice. The high society sorts must be willing to overlook the nature of it, and find the prohibited possibility of it to be a thrill over burden. The poor will not give a shit, why would they? However taste and presentation is also important to the most disturbing reality: children. It must be candy to them, but not too wonderful so that they indulge.

And finally, the most elusive and difficult to define trait: effectiveness overall. A lesser man would say: ‘it must work throughout or not at all!’ Not me, thankfully. It must work just enough to stop withering and halt cravings of intense design. If it works any better – for example, creates a jolt, or sense of high too enjoyable – then an addiction to my substance becomes a reality. I will then be their maker and unmaker, a power far too great for even me. A profit to make here, yes, but I do not seek to undo a society of people.

The rebellion moves swiftly. I already hear whisperings of assaults inside of the city walls. Deceit, disguises – the heroes of Azeroth are bearing the banner of the Dusk Lily. I must work fast if I hope to capitalize on my opportunity.

Day three of experimentation

Finding willing participants is a goddamn nightmare. I can’t tell them it will work or will not work, furthermore, the rebels cannot know. An outlander experimenting on their citizens? Already they look at me with squinted gazes and distrust in their eyes. I have no footing to prove anything, no evidence. I need participants with active withdrawal, and yet are not on the verge or already driven over the edge of being incapable of salvation.

I have a less than savory source. My loyal informant was too nosy, and I considered having his blasted head for it, but he gave me an opportunity of questionable morality. Some parents are willing to do anything to ensure the safety of their children. I considered offering it to them for free, I had no heart to just up and manipulate – have I weakened in strength? No, it was the look in their eyes. Desperation. Horror. And hate that an outlander could provide conventional methods to sate their addiction, and an unconventional solution to the withering. I presented the opportunity, and logistically, eighty-percent of them accepted. My most armored ship, near the coast of Stormheim and Suramar, will become a temporary refuge. My men have been removed save a fair amount of guards and a camp will be established on the shorelines. The local vrykul and I have an understanding (thanks to Wyrmsbane of all people) and will also keep eyes secured.

Testing begins tomorrow on an alpha variant. A couple of alpha variants, actually. The tincture with varying additives, 'flavors’ if you will. A red colored one will focus on body aches, a blue colored one on mental ability, and a green colored one on cravings specifically. This is in the aftermath of a survey to determine the most prominent effects.

The odd, less common plights were queer: angina, suicidal thoughts, aggressive tendencies, sleep deprivation, and erectile dysfunction. What they expect me to do about the last one, I have no idea: it is my sincere hope the important issues will be covered by one of the flavors.

I will have to test and gauge the length of effectiveness (if any) and gauge their general reaction.

On another note, keep this as a reminder to let the other twenty-percent who denied the opportunity in. I’ll offer them alternative work… I’m getting low on starlight roses and leypetal as it is. Can barely reach the top shelf in this shithole anyways, and they have an additional couple of feet on my height.

Day seven

Bloody farce. The green one caused vomiting, but the subjects reported a brief rush followed by a sudden lessening of desire for magic. Likely either a placebo (the belief that their regurgitation was a sort of 'removal’ of addiction) or the result of disgust realizing their situation.

Red, while reducing the pain in my 'aching’ test group, also caused a most humorous side effect. Their damned limbs turned to metaphoric gelatin. They fell to the ground in a fit of giggles. Alas, they also inquired me to the nearest location of arcwine storage. A damn farce.

Blue, however, was an oddity. The intent of blue was to quell how the mind might be affected during magical addiction. After all, the most important thing that goes during withering is the mind. Some were horribly sleepy, requesting a mat to lay on. They often were asleep in a matter of seconds. When they woke up, to a ninety-five percentile, they simply asked if the testing was over. The five-percent was a request for arcwine. One among them with a horrifying bout of morbid self-harm and intent to end their life had seemed entirely mellowed. She hugged me in a ridiculous display, a bit of weakness to her limbs, and evident trembling in pain. She thanked me, and when I offered arcwine, she, too, asked for a mat to sleep on, instead.

Conclusion: it is important to note, I should not shout 'I’VE DONE IT!’ just yet. Reversal of withering effects is impossible, and with green, as of writing this, after a bit of mouth-washing from their canteens, they too sneakingly asked for arcwine stores. I had told them beforehand to ask me for arcwine if they sought it – no fear, no punishment. And, I did not lie. Theft of it isn’t easy, so rations are given, as generously as I can manage.

Blue is my salvation – their salvation. In all subjects, pain was still a factor. Only red held a reduction in pain, but I cannot simply create a purple. Or can I?

Alcohol is a miraculous thing. It numbs, it alters minds. A common issue with my train of thought here is that the alcohol the shal'dorei have been consuming is far more potent than anything I could produce. With the perfect potency, and right magical additives, I could bypass that golden alchemical rule: the mixing of multiple effects.

At least, I hope.

Day eleven

The purple mixture is near completion, but I have a dire circumstance to look into. He grows restless, and I made the dire mistake of hiding his child here with all the others. The subjects started to question, even going as far as explicitly asking me, Is that his child… what are you doing here, Outlander?

I convinced them of a lie, but I can tell they did not fully buy it. I know his servants are everywhere. I moved his child to one of my others ships along with his wife. I sense that Marcus is getting cold feet, standing about on idle ships waiting for action. I’ll have to send him on operations in the city, scout and rough up a couple of defiant informants.

Xae on the other hand… she is patient. She will have to leave and engage in her personal contracts soon. Good, the subjects are nervous in seeing her. The scars, the face… Light have mercy, what have I seen in her?

The alcohol I’ve discovered, I must thank Deldaroo. It was vile, putrid, and the taste factor is more of an issue than before. But even a waft of the stuff makes me get hazy. I offered it up to the less picky elves, and they were laughing like idiots and socializing with even a scruffy outlander like me. I never thought I had a use for this sort of damned thing, I figured it would rot my guts.

I deem it 'Elven Grog.’ As if by chance, it was purple. A deep violet, rather. The one with the troubled mind watched me as I brewed – I know she was not memorizing the formula, even so, it does not matter.

I should be in high hopes, but…

The sky was cloudy today. I don’t often believe in omens, but anything can happen, right? I mean, the fucking demons invaded in my lifetime.

My hand is trembling. I’ll barely be able to sleep, I know. Xae decided to bunk with me this night before she leaves for good. I highly doubt I’ll see her for a long, long time. She always suspected her own death. Perhaps on the Shores?

Adellyna has not responded to my letters. Neither Cantor.

I must bury my concerns – tomorrow is a big day. Who will receive the first dosage?

Day fourteen

I couldn’t fucking finish it. She’s fucking dead, his wife. The subjects all screamed out for me to send them back to begin serving in the rebellion further, distrusting me horribly in the word getting out of my failure to keep a ship in line. The only silver lining is that his boy made it out alive, by some miracle.

No subject was harmed, nor their children, but of all people – across the fucking land – my ship sank. The fel-twisted elves! Furthermore, who the hell betrayed me? Who sold me out? Who gave out my ship’s location and told the subjects of this? Dammit, I should not have sent Marcus away, he would have weeded the bastards out! The spineless pirate bastards, I will have each of their bloody heads and find the source of this corruption.

I thought it was over. Dammit, I thought I could trust people considering the circumstance: the world is at stake, am I the only one who isn’t losing their fucking mind? No, no, I am, too, in my own way. Get it together, dammit, you can’t let this go, not now.

I could not deny them. How could I have? I must, must finish this concoction – it must be tested. I am so damn close. The rebels want me to send back everyone, I’ve been gifted with an aggressive missive. What I built to gain their trust now becomes another example – yet another of how most see me. A damned scoundrel. The girl with troubling thoughts stayed behind, she said she would test the final result with a waning smile on her face. I will delay her transport. I must be certain. Entirely. She can’t suffer any more.

For her my sake.

Day fifteen

I sent her away with a bubbling purple set of slop. It smelled odd and seemed promising. Alas, I could not test her – I anticipate the effects will linger, will take a bit of time to work, and may very well need multiple dosing. Of which, I managed two more vials that I held onto – if she needs more, we’ll know.

I was given an ultimatem to 'free’ her or be punished. I chose the aforementioned. She told me she would inform me of the effects.

The storms rage so close to the shores of Stormheim. I had not planned on resting anyways. Maybe I overlooked something in the formula.

Day seventeen

No word from her. Marcus needs my aid, for he has had a few run ins. I have a… overwhelming sense of nerves. There is a tremble to my hands – anxiety? I have a little mixture for that, but it dulls my emotions. I speak as if being in this most distressed place, that is a bad thing.

Is it the demons, or the lack of hope in the eyes of even the most devoted loyalist to their tyrannical leader? Pathetic. Surely my allies would lose all motivation to see me slumping my shoulders like a child that’s lost their toy. I’ll drink the mixture and keep my composure, smile and grin, and charm the locals.

Failure will be weighing my lips, though. I must force it.

Wyrmsbane is missing right now. Where is that damn fool? I sent him off because it was the last thing the vrykul requested of me – to see the masterful slayer of storm dragons.

A letter arrived. Another contract. Demonic sympathizers rooted in the Stormwind, and no one can discover the source. It will have to wait, I will make a trip soon.

Rok discovered a lead in the traitor. I gave him freedom to act as he needed.

Dammit, where is she?

Day eighteen

Me and Marcus have met some interesting shal'dorei. Allies, potentially, those that understand the inner-workings of this city. I respect them, but… I cannot trust them. I am not sure I could. Then again, can I truly ever trust anyone?

Maybe that is the mixture talking. Paranoia, even? I am not the subject here – dammit, I am getting side-tracked in these logs far too often. I must stay on point: relevant to the mixture.

They clearly are so casual with their addictions. Noble, perhaps. They are kind, but to a degree I think they think of me as lesser. An effect of the addiction, or their culture? If anything, this is a wonderful motivator to continue.

Damn elves.

Still no word from her.

Day nineteen

Warm day today. What a Winter’s Veil Eve it was. I received my annual gift on time, even when I was loitering in Dalaran. Reading through those logs, it reminds me why I’m doing all this.

All twenty-six of them, alive and well. I still can’t believe it.

Funny thing is, I didn’t feel a thing. Fuck it, to hell with the mixture: I’ll control the tremble without it.

Right, the subject.

No word. She’s M.I.A.

Day twenty

[A large X was drawn over the page, no words behind it even, besides the marker of what day it was]