#that ‘haha oh god oh no wait I’m actually kind of invested in this’ energy that really sums up the hrab au

[a-pigeons-soliloquy]

I feel like lemon demon/neil cicierega needs to make a song about hrab, wobster, aluna, esmargot and whatever other horrors we come up with. a spiritual successor to two trucks but crustaceous and so much worse

[my-arlington-academia]

Cliffany part 2

O-kay, and that’s it! I don’t know if I’ll write a continuation tbh since it was just a silly little idea that came out of nowhere. (Although I did have some ideas for more!) I haven’t really been active on my fanblog lately so it’s not like it’ll make much of a difference though haha. By the way, I’m thinking about making my blog more "Dulcet-oriented" rather than just SE. I hope you guys don’t mind? Recently, I’ve been getting more and more into Black Tarot! So expect my blog to change a lil 🔮🕯🌌

--------------------

It had been a couple of days now since Tiffany’s last interaction with Claire, and while she was still ignoring her like before, Tiffany’s efforts in doing so had increased. The moment she spotted her in the corner of her eye, she would move at a faster pace, as if running away. Was it guilt after all? No, she just didn’t have the energy to deal with Claire’s annoying and unnecessary empathy. The empathy that she knew she didn’t deserve which made her feel even more frustrated towards Claire.

All she should be worried about right now is getting more followers on Instaglam, not avoiding a nobody like the plague. On that note, spring was coming soon, the flowers started to blossom and the days were getting longer which meant... that the "cottagecore" tag on insta would go trending soon, no doubt! And of course, living on the Arlington campus as one of its students, this gave Tiffany the access to its beautiful garden. Although honestly, she only ever went there to take pictures and this time wasn’t any different. She had prepared some tea sets and dresses for the occasion, all of which she would throw away once spring went away along with its "trends."

Carried by her confident footsteps, she walked to the garden. That confidence was only a facade though. She knew exactly what kind of people and who in particular went to take strolls quite often in this goddamn garden. But hey, it was 7pm and the sun would soon start to set. Knowing that Claire always arrives 15 minutes in advance to any meeting and most likely always wakes up at 6am, there was nothing to be worried about. Chances are, she was either doing her homework before going to bed like a goody-two-shoes or watering her weird-ass plants. Tiffany always had the horror of seeing these at Raquel’s parties. It just didn’t fit at all with the rest of what was going on in the room and ruined the whole "party" vibe.

In any case, there she was, searching for a good spot to take pictures and set up a fake picnic. That basket filled with different colored blankets, tea sets, biscuits, tea and a pie was way heavier than Tiffany had initially thought. Maybe she really should’ve asked for collab pictures with Trisha from the fine arts department. She didn’t really like her but when it came to follower count they were surprisingly close, although Tiffany was still number one of course. Still, if she had asked for a collab they could’ve carried those heavy props together.

After finding a good spot next to the pond, Tiffany set everything up in an aesthetically pleasing manner and got down to taking the pictures. She was taking different shots to post them one by one throughout the week and give out the illusion that she was taking those the same day she posted them. She was ready to upload the first one, call it a day and go back to the dorms without touching any of the tea or cakes. It’s all just useless calories anyways. As she was putting the tags on the picture, she started wondering what were the names of those flowers in the background.

"Ugh, fuck. What are those orange shits called again?"

"Marigolds."

"Ah right, thank y-"

Tiffany immediately snapped her head back. This annoyingly gentle voice could only belong to one person.

"...What the fuck, Claire. Where did you pop out from?!"

There’s no was she was there the whole time, right? It’s true that Tiffany could get lost in what she was doing once she was focused but it wasn’t to the point where she became completely unaware of her surroundings.

"I came by a few minutes ago... Y-you looked so invested in what you were doing that I didn’t want to bother you! I didn’t mean to pry."

Well, Tiffany could always upload those damn pictures from her room. Claire’s arrival just meant that it was time for her to leave. However, seeing that Tiffany started packing up her things, Claire panicked thinking that it’s her fault. Which was in fact, her fault... in a way.

"O-oh! You’re not going to finish your picnic? I’m so sorry, I’ll just leave! Throwing all of this good food away would be such a waste-"

"Are you fucking dumb?"

Did she not get that this was all only a set-up for taking pictures? It was obvious that Tiffany didn’t have any intention of eating or drinking any of that. Not to mention that after everything that happened the other day, she was still not scared of approaching her?

"I don’t give a damn about the food, it was just for my social media accounts you dumb bit- ... dimwit. I was already done anyway so you don’t have anything to do with the fact that I’m leaving."

"I see! T-then maybe I can help?!"

Help? What did Claire even know about- Actually, on second thought. This whole "cottagecore" shtick was a great fit for Claire. She probably already had all of the things Tiffany bought last week for those pictures, even better and more authentic-looking ones probably. This was maybe the one and only time Tiffany would let Claire "help" her. But from her point of view, she was mostly just using her.

"Hm. Is that so? How can you help me then... Claire."

"Wait just a second! I’ll be back right away!!!"

She ran immediately towards the dorms. Well, she'll probably bring a bunch of random stuff. In the end, Tiffany was really torn between the idea of staying and waiting for who knows how long and the idea of leaving right now. Surely, Claire would make a hilarious expression when she’d realize that she was played with and abandoned. While trying to laugh it off, Tiffany accidentally remembered what happened a few days ago, along with Claire’s crying face. Damn... Okay, fine. She’ll wait for her but only because it would be annoying if she bawled again like a damn toddler.

And so she waited until, from the corner of her eyes, she saw a girl with a pink dress running towards her. That girl, of course, being Claire. She carried a picnic basket with her too, but much bigger and more practical. For half a second, Tiffany thought that Claire actually looked maybe, just maybe, a little bit pretty. She erased the thought in a hurry, covering it with harsh words as usual.

"Wh-why did you change your clothes? You think I’m gonna take pictures of you?"

"Ah, no, well..."

Claire looked at the beautiful picnic set-up and the cyan dress Tiffany was wearing.

"I just wanted to fit in with the rest of what you put up, I guess. Also, don’t you think that we kinda match? I brought some of the cookies I baked and my favorite teas and tea set. I think mine will look better with your picnic blanket! Uh- N-not to say that yours looks bad!!!"

She was trying so hard to make herself likable that it was painful to see... and kinda cute. God, Tiffany was really hating her thoughts today. She was just going soft because of Claire’s aura or something. Again, this was definitely the first and last time she was letting Claire help her with anything. I’d be bad if she turns completely brain-dead and clueless like her.

"...Whatever. Show me what you got. I’ll decide if it’s good enough."

Claire was pulling everything out of the basket one by one. Everytime, better and better items were pulled out after the other. Her cakes and cookies gave off a "homey" feeling which was more fitting with the aesthetic rather than Tiffany’s store bought patisseries. Claire was staring at her, wide-eyed and excited.

"W-what do you think, Tiffany? It looks good, doesn’t it?!"

"Uh. Yeah, it’s fine, I guess. I’ll take a few pics."

That was a lie. This looked so much better than the try-hard bullshit Tiffany had done. She was good at riding on the "trend wave" but Claire was a natural when it came to this one specific thing. Tiffany was trying to look as poker-faced as she could so as to not show her satisfaction, but clearly, her apparent enthusiasm for each shot was  betraying her. Sometimes, she would accidentally take one with Claire in the shot and ask her to move.

"Hey. You’re ruining the picture with your ugly fac- dress. Move to the right."

Before Tiffany could even do anything about it, Claire was already pouring some tea into 2 cups.

"Woah woah woah, put the teapot down. I didn’t agree to this."

"But...This is a kettle, Tiffany. Not a teapot."

"Oh, shut it!"

Claire gave off such a dejected face that Tiffany, once again, felt like she was kicking a poor puppy to the ground. She held back on going off on a rant.

"But we’re already here and the weather is so nice! It would be such a shame not to use any of this at all..."

Claire looked around, observing this beautiful setting, not to mention, the sun was finally starting to set. Going home right now would be like an insult to the utter beauty of this scene, it almost looked like it came right out of a fairy tale picture book. Without mulling it over any further, Tiffany took a sip out of her cup.

"I’m only doing this because I feel compelled to, got it?"

Claire’s eyes lit up nonetheless.

"Alright! Please try out my cookies too!"

Tiffany contemplated them for a second... is it true that home-made stuff is more healthy? Surely, that’s just a myth, right? A cake from the store and a home-made cake will have about the same amount of sugar in them regardless of who made them and how. Well, she did see Claire share her food from time to time with her friends and while she would never admit it, it is true that she was a bit curious about trying them herself. What was the last time she had eaten anything "home-made"? Or did it ever even happen?

"...Okay, whatever. I bet they taste shitty."

Tiffany reluctantly took a bite... It was surprisingly really delicious!

"It’s bad."

"R-really?"

As much as she wanted to lie about it, she couldn’t after seeing Claire make that dejected face again.

"Uhhh. No, um. Hmm... On second thought, it’s pretty average. It’s okay-ish."

Tiffany really hated herself right now. Being mean has never been this hard before. She couldn’t wait for the moment where they would be done with this ridiculous play-pretend and go back to her room. She tried drinking and eating as fast as she could without making it look like she was in a hurry to run away from this awkward situation. And God, it was so fucking hard...

Unsurprisingly, they were both pretty silent the whole time. Well, it wasn’t like they had anything to converse about or things in common. Right as Tiffany was about to get up and pack up her belongings, for real this time, Claire spoke up. Nervously fiddling with the hem of her dress.

"Um. So you know, I have something to confess to you, Tiffany."

Oh God, not now. As much as Tiffany found this timing annoying, she couldn’t help but poke fun at that poor choice of words.

"Confess? Oh my, so you like me in that way, huh? That explains everything."

"Wha- N-no! That’s not it! I mean, realistically speaking, t-that would never even happen!"

Was she implying that she could never like someone like Tiffany? Well, Tiffany herself was the one who brought this up but she was a bit offended at that statement. Regardless though, the way she was trying to deny it so hard was kinda cute. No. Not cute at all! If this went on, Tiffany would really become crazy before the end of this day.

"Last time, you said that I was only being kind towards others to profit off of them and I didn’t say anything but... that wasn’t true at all! I always wanted to help you because I thought that you needed it, I swear. Not to satisfy myself! ... Well. Except maybe..."

"Except...?"

"T-today. I admit that I kind of had ulterior motives."

Now that piqued Tiffany’s curiousness right away. Suddenly, she didn’t want to leave as much anymore if it meant that Claire would finally admit that she did some things for her own benefit. Why was it? Did she want to post a picture of herself on Tiffany’s Instaglam to fish for compliments, knowing that she had a lot of followers? Claire hid her face behind her hands and muttered a few words.

"I... wanted you to warm up to me."

"...Huh?"

That’s it? That was it? Claire’s ulterior motive was for Tiffany to "warm up to her."?

"So like, you want us to be friends or some shit?"

"Oh no! Not necessarily that far, just... good acquaintances!"

Is she stupid? There’s no way that she genuinely thinks those "motives" are bad. Tiffany sighed in exasperation.

"Listen. I’m just really tired right now, I don’t have the energy to assimilate all the shit you’re saying. I’m packing all of this up and going back to the dorms."

In complete silence, they gathered all of their belongings and walked to the dorms while keeping a fair distance between the 2 of them. As if to say, "we’ve got nothing to do with each other." Surprisingly, Claire didn’t try anything anymore. Didn’t even wish for a "good night" or a "good evening" which was weird to say the least. Tiffany tried to ignore it and when she got back and unpacked all of the props, she noticed something that didn’t belong to her. One of Claire’s lunch boxes with cookies in them and... a note?

Here’s my number just in case ;3 Please give me my lunchbox back once you’re done eating the cookies!♡

"...Your note makes me wanna barf."

So that’s why she didn’t try anything. That sneaky little... she must've slid that into the basket when they were packing. She already knew that Tiffany would eventually be forced to talk to her again... as if! Who says she’ll return it? She can just throw all the cookies away along with the box... Or so she thought. Tempted, she took a bite, then another one. And another one. Her diet was ruined for sure now. Damn you Claire and your stupidly great cooking skills, as if you needed another skill to be better and more perfect than you already are. Tiffany put the box away, trying to forget the delicious taste and smell. Back to Instaglam she goes. Uploading the picture while adding the "marigold" tag on it. Going through the pictures again, she noticed that some of them had Claire in the corner. She was thinking of deleting them but... well whatever. She can just crop her out later if needed. Her dress looks pretty so it’s fine even if she does appear in the pictures. All we see is a bit of her hair, as long as her face isn’t visible, it’s okay. Yup. It was totally not because Tiffany was slowly starting to feel something towards the girl she was trying so hard not to get involved with.

[purplesurveys]

794

How often do you eat your favorite food?  Very seldom do I get to have burgers because the good ones are usually quite expensive and I don’t want to waste my parents’ allowance on selfish stuff like that; I’d say I have them once every couple of months. I get Yabu at least once a month though, that’s something I kinda make sure I’ve saved enough for.

Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport? (including planes): When we have family car trips that run through the night, I do sleep but only for a short while because I feel bad when we all fall asleep and my dad has no choice but to continue driving. I’ve only fallen asleep on a plane once and that was because we spent like seven or eight hours waiting at the airport with nothing to do, and for some reason that made me so tired.

What room of the house are you in right now? My room. My day hasn’t gone well and I haven’t had the energy to go downstairs.

What was the last tv show you watched?  Descendants of the Sun.

Have you been using Apple Music? No thanks.

Do you pay rent for the place you live? How often?  My parents don’t.

How do you feel at this particular moment? Anything on your mind? Exhausted, a little heavy, and resigned. Yes, but I’m taking this survey now precisely because I don’t want that stuff to occupy my mind too much.

Where was the last place you went on vacation/holiday to? Who’d you go with? Albay with my parents. We were there for three or four days, which I consider to be more of a vacation than the weekend trip we had in Tagaytay.

List all the colors you’re currently wearing.  Brown, black, and scarlet.

What’s your favorite type of doughnut?  I like smaller, local brands that make their doughnuts fresh, and may have gourmet selections as well. The only place I know that does this is Cello’s, near my school. 

What do you usually eat for breakfast?  I normally skip it but with my whole family home for quarantine, we’ve been having breakfast every single day since March. That said, we typically have steamed or fried rice, eggs, hotdogs, bacon, longganisa, and some kind of dried dish like danggit or tuyo.

Do you have any candles in your bedroom? Do you light them often? Nope, never invested on candles before.

Can you touch your toes without bending your knees?  Yep. I used to be able to, then I wasn’t able to for a very long time, then after having my really rigorous PE class two semesters ago I was able to do it again.

When was the last time you went out for dinner?  First Monday of March.

Have you seen all the Hunger Games films as of current?  I’ve seen the first one because they aired it on TV a thousand times at one point in like, 2013. Never got to see the rest.

What was the last thing you said to someone else in person? “You here?” I was talking to Kimi in the dark.

Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Mac.

How many times do you call someone on the phone a week?  2-3 times a week maybe? Gab and I don’t need to call each other everyday, and a fewer calls mean I’m more excited when one does happen haha.

Have you cooked anything today? What was it?  Nope.

Do you have a lot of cousins? What are their names? First cousins would be Gage, Elijah, Cholo, Toffe, Bia, Lei, Kesler, AJ, Kent, Seth, and Sam. The second cousins that I know of are Ben, Nico, Selah, Luke, Maggie, Bree, Isabella, and Jethro – I have tons of family living in the US and those include second cousins I’ve never met, and I also have many other second cousins on my dad’s side that I was able to name none of here because we aren’t at all close with that side, and I’ve never had a relationship with those cousins. I only know a handful of third cousins, namely Nicole, Elliott, and Kristen. What does your shampoo smell like? Idk, it doesn’t have a distinct scent and is just one of the basic Dove shampoos.

What about the body wash or soap you’re using at the moment? The scent is called bourbon vanilla.

Have you ever had an exotic or unusual pet? Are horses unusual?  My sister had a chick for a few days. They definitely are here, but I don’t know about other places.

Any movies you’ve seen recently that you’d recommend to me? Not a movie sorry, but I just watched Vice TV’s Dark Side of the Ring documentary on Owen Hart and it’s sooooooo fucking brilliant. Its production value is just astounding, and they did not fuck around with the sources they chose to speak in the piece. I recommend anybody – even if you’ve never watched or been interested in wrestling before – to go see it, because the storytelling is so great the outsider-est outsider would be able to understand and appreciate its narration, and see exactly how fucked-up the industry is.

Why did you last go see a doctor? Oh my god, this has been on every survey recently...eye appointment. At that time my left eye twitched and teared up whenever I wake up and when I’d head to bed, and in random times during the day. It’s gotten better during the quarantine, but I’ll still sometimes get the occasional attack.

Do you know how to play Minesweeper? Yes. I don’t have the patience for it though. < Ugh same. I’ve never won a game, and I just never had the appetite to keep trying lol

What was the last thing you bought online? The last time I answered this saying a Hydro Flask and a couple of necklaces, but now that I remember more clearly, Andrew and I did get Chinese food from online a few days before classes got suspended.

Where do you usually park your car? There’s some extra bare space beside our actual carport that’s super super tiny, but we found out my car could fit in so that’s where I park it so it could be in the shade. To this day I’m the only one who can effortlesly fit it in after doing it everyday for four years in college, as my parents are too scared hahaha.

Does your mail get delivered to your house or do you have to collect it?  House. As far as I know, that’s how it works for the whole country.

Are you more logical or creative?  Logical. My creativity is for sure in the negatives.

Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Only if it incredibly bothers me and if it’s not that big a brand. If it’s a big name, I’d rather suffer the itch.

What is your dream job? Do you think that’s attainable for you?  The dream job is still to do PR for WWE, but I’ve been questioning that decision more and more lately because they’re turning out to be such a shit company and I don’t want to end up selling out and launching fake-ass cheery articles and campaigns to paint the company in a nicer light, despite the many shitstorms it is currently and has always been embroiled in. I do think it’s attainable, since it’s generally easier to get into WWE corporate than be in the branch that does events and gets to be on TV, but I’ll have to do a lot of thinking on this particular path.

When was the last time you looked at Facebook, Twitter or etc.?  30 minutes ago, maybe.

Have you ever been on a train? Where did you go?  Just one. Jum and I went to the Senate for a journalism class. I would’ve driven but I hate driving in Manila.

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Different sort of question. I can't remember if I heard you say you tried to watch some of the other British soaps or not? I tried to watch them but could not get into the others at ALL. I'm sure a lack of Robert and Aaron had something to do with it, haha. I also tried Casuality, I didn't care for it much but I do enjoy Holby City. We seem to have different tastes in TV, I'm not a GoT fan, but we have Emmerdale in common so I thought I'd throw HC out, if you haven't tried it yet.

Hi anon,

I can’t say I’ve really tried to watch the other soaps. I mean I’ve watched bits of Hollyoaks because I watched the McDean stuff and the Stendan stuff and I kept watching a bit after Stendan until I got to the Ste drug use stuff and then I kind of wanted to claw my eyes out so I gave up. Haha. I never watched the whole show though. 

As far as other soaps go…the only bits I’ve seen of Corrie and Eastenders have been what I watched to try and get reference for those couple of Metro drawings I did. So I’ve seen a bit of the Kana stuff and it didn’t really grab my interest. And I’ve only seen a few scenes from Eastenders and I didn’t care. Haha. 

I’ve seen a few stories from American soaps, which are awful. Haha. I watched a bit of the Luke and Noah stuff from As the World Turns until I got super bored. I watched the Kyle and Fish stuff from One Life to Live until the end of their story, which got quite insane. If you ever want another couple inundated by pregnant blondes carrying one half of the couple’s child. Haha. Although at least she was truly kind of nuts and scheming so maybe it would have been better if Rebecca has been like that. Haha. And I watched some of the Will and Sonny stuff from Days of Our Lives but I never really got into that. I was kind of only watching it until the point when Will FINALLY came out just because I had to see it through. But I swear if I had to watch another scene of him cryptically talking to Marlena without actually coming out I was going to scream. 

Oh and I watched a bit of the Christian and Olli stuff from Verbotene Liebe, which has been my only foray into German soaps. I briefly tried to watch a bit of the Ringsy stuff and I just couldn’t bring myself to care. It’s better that I just appreciate them in gif form. 

Part of the thing is, that considering my investment into Emmerdale, I really don’t need to get involved in watching another soap. I don’t have that kind of time or energy. Haha. In fact any time I see a soap story pop up that sounds kind of interesting I have to remind myself that I really don’t want to do that to myself. I never did try Holby City though but I doubt I will for that reason. 

And I’m a GoT fan…but I will also rant at anyone who will listen about how much that show frustrates me because I’m a book fan and I have…issues. And I’m perfectly happy to wait as long as they want to make me for the final season because I’m…concerned…and scared. If you think I ever get ragey about Emmerdale, talk to me about Season 7 Episode 6 of Game of Thrones or the entirety of Jon Snow’s storyline in season 2 and then you will see real nerd rage. 

Other shows I watch, not that you asked…I am a 100 fan though I’m not in that fandom thank god because every time I scroll through it, it seems like a MISERABLE place to be. (I’m sure people would say that about our fandom from the outside too). I still suffer through Arrow, hoping for a good season but I haven’t been truly satisfied since season 2. Though I thought season 5 was pretty good. If anyone remembers my lengthy Nashville posts back in the robron break up days, I was a fan of that show because I just fell in love with the characters. I was sad when it ended. I caught up on This is Us finally and I’m looking forward to that coming back. I’m a nerd who still watches Survivor. Looking forward to whenever the next season of Daredevil comes out and I have been making my way through the Americans, which I need to get back to because I’m only in season 2. 

[dirtj0b]

A journal to clear my mind...

Since it’s not private stuff, I’m gonna post it here. For some reason posting on a private blog feels so weird to me when this is the blog I’m comfortable with... Since this isn’t private info about spirit stuff, I think it’s ok to post here, probably, right?? This might be long, sorry!

So... two (?) nights ago I told K that I really wanted to meet up with him in a dream so we could hang out properly, like go on a date or something! I told him it was up to him what we do, but that unless I could recognize him I might not realize what’s going on. 

I never recognize him in dreams because he sometimes has to look like other people because my mind works kind of funny. It’s a bit frustrating. I can talk to him just fine when I’m awake, now, but still... Dreams feel more like hanging out with a physical person, somehow.

He told me he would do his best. 

I had a dream that I was moving in with a friend from the SCA. He seems like he would be a pretty reliable room mate, so I was pretty excited. I spoke to the land lord and was asking her a lot of questions... What the rent and utilities were like and all that. The place seemed perfect, so I was waiting for some sort of catch (they’d even allow me to bring Krieg!) but the catch never came... I was surprised that I could afford the rent AND bring my dog. I’d never lived away from my current room mate (he is my ex) so I was really scared, but I knew that my friend would be safe to live with.

Later in the dream, I got freaked out because he bought us a bed to share, and was acting like we were a couple. He seemed really confused that I thought we weren’t in a relationship.

I came home from grocery shopping and found him on the floor. He wasn’t HURT, he was just... ??? I don’t know. There. It’s hard to explain, but made sense in the dream. I asked the land lord why she did that to him, and she said “Didn’t recognize him”

--

Of course when I woke up I completely realized what had happened. K had probably borrowed the form of someone I knew and trusted so that I would recognize them, but it’s because I only said recognize and not... That I had to recognize that it was K. Oops. I forget sometimes that he has a different understanding of things.

Anyway, I was talking to him and asked why he chose to move into an apartment together for the dream. He explained that that was something he wanted, and I was pretty excited to hear that. I know it’s a bit weird, because... He’s a spirit, he can live wherever he wants, right? But it seems to be more about the context. Like moving into a place together on purpose, and him being invited. Or something. I told him when I got my own room that we could share it, and he was really happy... He spent days pacing back and forth and moving things around to be just right.

Honestly having things just... move around was pretty shocking, but it made me really happy. I remember when I woke up to him moving his pillow across the floor in the middle of the night, it scared me so much. I heard the pillow drop off the chair it was sitting on and slide into position... Five feet away. Yikes. I’m STILL getting used to things like that. I think he knew I was kind of scared because he always waited until I was asleep or in another room to move stuff.

Things like that must take a lot of energy. Generally he would ask me to move them first... 

--

Last night, I was talking to my RL friend about my abusive ex friend. I was a bit drunk, so I’m not sure how the subject moved to this, but... They invited me to live with them and my other friend! In... another town. I told them that my rent is really good here (like, INSANELY good) and that I would probably move otherwise... It turns out that rent in their town is also insanely good.

I got nervous, I had never lived away from my ex. We’ve been together for my entire adult life (and then some) and I’ve never been away from him. Even though we’ve been broken up for over a year now, I couldn’t imagine moving out... I’ve thought about it, but never thought it would be possible.

Now I am faced with the choice (chance??) and... I feel so weird. I really, REALLY want to, I think it’s possible... But I’m scared. I’ve never taken change well (I had... a breakdown when I even got my own room, big fucking mess) and I don’t know what to expect, even though my friends are great people and would probably be amazing room mates.

I remember getting freaked about a lot of things that have been good for me in the end. I get scared of everything... Making big changes in my life has always frightened me, especially moving. I’m worried about so much, but I know it would be so good...

And, they invited K. Of course he’s not allowed to spook anyone, but he doesn’t really do that anyway unless it’s an accident, haha... But still. The thought of living with friends and with him makes me so fucking happy!!! I keep imagining everything that could go wrong...

--

So tomorrow I’m going to call my doctor about meds for my depression. I did a lot of thinking, and I think that’s the real reason I can’t draw. K has done all he can for me, giving me inspiration, trying to help me learn new techniques, finding me references, and I still can’t do it. I’ve been given so many opportunities and watched them all pass... This is the only thing I haven’t tried.

Then, I’m gonna work on my car. I’ll figure out wtf the deal is with it, finally. After that, I’ll try to find a way to pay my bank off, because I’ll need a debit card to get money out of my Paypal...

My plan is that... If I can’t find a job quickly, I can do commissions again for money, and failing that... I can go back to dancing. There are a few clubs in that town, I think, so hopefully at least one will take me. 

It’s a bit difficult because there aren’t a lot of clubs in this state who would take someone like me (most of them are strictly girls only) and... I dunno. I got my last job as a fluke, but... I was able to work in another town despite everything, so maybe if I can prove that I can make money... Oh my god I do not miss shaving.

 I do miss makeup, though.

I will have to come back to town every few weeks to see my therapist because... I like her, I don’t wanna get a new one. It took ages to find one who understood me and took me seriously anyway.

I’ll also have to invest in a really good plant light, because it looks like a basement apartment with smallish windows. Ah... My brain has given up functioning for the time being. I think I had more thoughts but they’re gone now. I guess that’s part of why I write these in the first place...

TL:DR - Had dreams about moving in with friends and K. Might get to ACTUALLY move in with friends and K!! 

[freedatingadviceforguys-blog]

Mr. Nice Guy

Top Five Dating Tips For Guys Who Want a Second Date

Understanding when what to text a girl to make her want you and what to textual content a girl you just met appears to be yet another a type of things that so many guys battle with through the preliminary levels of the relationship game. There's this fashionable rule on the market which says it is best to wait two to 3 days before you textual content or name a lady. I say it is best to fully ignore that tired rule and set your self apart from the lots. You should text or name her the identical day or night time. The actual fact of the matter is that a woman would possibly forget who you are and then you definately run into those awkward textual content messages like, "who is that this what to text a girl you just met last night?

I sometimes text a girl the same day once I get her quantity with something humorous or playful like this: "This can be a VIP quantity, store with care - Sebastian." Your texts shouldn't be coming from a needy place. In case you text a woman proper read more on wikipedia hereafter you just met her with something like, "How are you?" or "It was good to fulfill you", it shows no character; that's what each different guys she has given her number to will send her. What I like to do is textual content them something attention-grabbing or humorous that occurred to me that day.

Okay, so you've got the girl's quantity and she has received your preliminary text. The next step is to just be gentle and flirty. Simply assume that she likes you even when she doesn't. Most of the time, this will work in your favor. Keep away from using a whole lot of "lol's" or "haha's" and don't over use emoticons. All three of those are OKAY to make use of sparingly so long as you're not using them from a place of insecurity. Here's a good rule to go by: in case you're using them more than she is, you then're in all probability utilizing them too much.

When I speak to a girl who I am all for, I are typically very mild, playful and really flirty. By the identical token, after I text a girl I try to convey that very same enjoyable and sexual character. Here is Social Network If she's responding effectively to the flirty texting banter, then discover out when she's free and go for the meet-up. If it is still early in the day, go for the meet-up that night.

If she does not reply that enthusiastically to your texts, just finish it and say it's a must to go and that you will name her in a bit. Clearly, this process will not work all the time; realizing what to text a girl you simply met will likely be barely totally different every time. If she would not agree to fulfill up with you the first time, don't just delete her quantity. She could genuinely be busy. Hit her up in a couple of days. If she nonetheless does not reply, hit her up in every week. Typically a bit persistence can go a long way however from this point on, simply text her once in a while until it turns into fairly clear that it simply will not work out or she flat out tells you to move on.

When trying to figure out what to textual content a lady you like, there are 7 pitfalls that you must take into account. Most guys screw up their chances of attracting a woman by committing one or more of those 7 mistakes, but after you learn this article, you will never be certainly one of them.

Deadly Girl Texting Pitfall #1: Don't Attempt To Impress Her Through Text

Do not attempt to write a bunch of things about your self that you just think is going to impress her. Save the lengthy war tales, accomplishment checklist, and common DHV's (demonstrations of higher worth) for while you two are face-to-face or on the phone.

The purpose of texting is to flirt, construct consolation, and be playful. Writing lengthy messages that boast about yourself won't only not impress her, however it'll make you seem insecure.

Lethal Girl Texting Pitfall #2: Do not Write Super Long Text

This guidelines ties in with the final one. Bear in mind, the person who invest the most effort into the texts is the one that's most invested in the interaction. By writing tremendous lengthy text to her, you are only displaying that you are overly invested in her and that often comes off as needy.

Attempt to keep your texts brief and concise. The impression you are trying to sub-talk visit is that you're a busy guy who nearly don't have time to textual content her.

Deadly Girl Texting Pitfall #three: Don't Ask Too Many Boring Questions

She is use to guys asking her every kind of generic questions so you definitely do not want to come off as simply one other man. Plus too many questions are annoying.

As an alternative, phrase your questions in a extra attention-grabbing manner. For instance, as an alternative of, "Hey, what's up?" you possibly can say, "Hey brat, what are you doing...besides obsessing about me? lol

Lethal Woman Texting Pitfall # 4: Keep away from Slangs, Abbreviations, Or Misspellings With Overseas Ladies

If the lady is foreign and would not communicate perfect English, attempt no to use any slangs or abbreviations that might confuse her. Be a bit of extra fundamental and to the point.

Lethal Lady Texting Pitfall # 5: Don't Multi-Tread Your Text Messages

Numerous guys will ask multiple questions in the same text like, "What are you doing tonight? Oh, btw, how's was work?"

That is known as multi-treading and what often finally ends up occurring is that girl will respond to the last question and fourth date tips for guys ignore the first one. And if the first question is something important, properly you then're just out of fortunate.

So don't multi-tread. Wait till she answer your first query before asking the second. Simply bear in mind to keep your generic questions to a minimum.

Lethal Girl Texting Pitfall # 6: Be Positive To Sign Your Identify In The First Textual content That You Send Her

If the girl didn't save your identify on her telephone she won't know who you might be, so be sure you signal your identify at the end. You may additionally wish to add a bit descriptor of yourself like, "Joe from the live performance.

By doing this it avoid the awkward "Who is this?" what to text a girl on tinder text that may kill a number of the momentum.

Deadly Woman Texting Pitfall # 7: Avoid Utilizing Too Many Capitalization

Excessive caps and punctuations like exclamation marks and query marks could make your messages appear overly first text message to a girl excited. This can come of as needy, so try to keep the caps and heavy punctuation to a minimum.

A variety of guys do not know what to textual content a woman after they first meet her. Most guys use common secure language, making her not need to continue the conversation. What they're lacking is that it really is not exhausting to stand out just that little bit to realize her consideration. Not only that, however this can be performed with out the usual Pick Up Artist (PUA) strains. My purpose is so that you can be genuine, preserve your energy and make her desire what you must provide, not trick her into "falling" for you.

After I consider learn how to textual content a lady I keep in mind tons of little suggestions and methods that I take advantage of get the conversation flowing. Listed below are a couple of things that will help you get you moving in the right path!

Cocky, humorous date tips for guys texting

That is an old-fashioned PUA routine and it does work. Nevertheless, I would love you to adapt the style a bit. The misunderstanding is that Cocky = Jerk this is not the case. Unfortunately, jerk does work however you actually aren't going to be ok with your self or make many true connections this way. Remember, women are people too.

Being humorous is killer and including a little bit of cockiness is brilliant. Why? As a result of it communicates that you are strong, that you don't want approval. I can't tell you what number of instances I've had girls give me hell over this. For example:

Anna: God, you're so full of yourself

Me: Thank you, so comfortable what to say to a girl on the phone you seen

Anna: You realize that is not very enticing

Me: After all it's! It is as attractive as that dress you wore last Friday

Anna: Cannot consider you brought up the dress, it was a DARE

Me: I'm not the one what to say to a cute girl on facebook that put it on!

Anna: Gonna make you wear it subsequent time

Me: Only if this is a private factor

Anna: sounds attention-grabbing...

www.freedatingadviceforguys.com/

This interplay was not super aggressive but it surely was cocky since I did not again down and it was funny playful because we brought up the costume. The important thing to this interaction was not apologizing Mr. Nice Guy what to say to a girl after she said "you realize that's not engaging." This simply will not be true and is the equal of her saying "you being so good-looking would not make me like you more," lies... all lies...

Purposely misunderstanding in a textual content

What to text a woman? Purposely misunderstanding is a blast. I like this simply because it is humorous and cute. It communicates to a girl that you're fairly smart and it makes them should think in loops to maintain up with you. Everyone seems to be drawn to intelligence and when you can text with humor, you have killed two birds with one stone. Think about her being impressed along with your thoughts AND feeling great as a result of she is laughing. Stunning...

Example:

Anna: Going out with Rachel tomorrow

Me: You're going out with Rachel? I assumed you had been strait?

Anna: Shut up dork

Me: It all is smart now, the short hair, the bad perspective

Anna: Didn't I tell you to shut it!

Me: Hehehe!

This is pretty tame but it nonetheless illustrates the point. Purposely misunderstanding is simply check more info for us here so much fun however strive not to use it too much. Overuse makes it a bit tedious and obnoxious.

Getting your 'text sport' proper is crucial to progress the interaction between you and a girl you want. One dodgy joke she does not get or an accidental demonstration of 'neediness' and you find yourself starring at your phone all day questioning why she hasn't replied. Sound acquainted? Then in fact, you make the error of texting back right away readily accepting her lame apology of "Sorry I haven't replied, haven't checked my telephone all day"... yeah right! Should you're struggling to determine 'what to textual content a lady', you shouldn't neglect to figure out 'the right way to text a girl'. Let's deal with both of those points...

Firstly, let's take a look at how one can textual content a lady you like:

# You must all the time have a goal. Whether or not it's demonstrating that you're a excessive-worth alpha male, building consolation between the 2 of you, entertaining the both of you, qualifying her to show that you just're checking to see if she is the appropriate girl for you (not the opposite means round), or simply arranging to meet up. If you have no goal; do not textual content her. You are texting to satisfy your objective, that is it.

Secondly, we'll take a look at what to text a lady you like:

# Ideally, you wish to textual content her one thing she will be able to't assist however reply to. Don't forget, your texts must match your purpose. For example, if you're trying to exhibit your excessive value, you possibly can ship one thing alongside the strains of "I simply made you check your phone for no motive!... Seems like I've got you in check:)" This kind of message portrays confidence, a little bit of cocky-humorous, and that you just're up for having a joke along with her and teasing her.

Another good method when choosing what to textual content a woman you like is to make use of 'callback-humour'. This is when you discuss one thing that happened between the two of you, or perhaps use a nickname you've got given her. For instance, "How many favourite 'insert nickname' doing immediately?

Maybe, it's worthwhile to construct comfort with the woman you want, as a result of you don't know one another that well. Ship something like "You will not believe the dream I had final night time!"...then just elaborate and improvise.

Whichever angle you choose to play, remember that deciding what to textual content the girl you like is each an artwork and a science. Your artwork comes in the form of improvisation and creativity; be unique and tailor your texts to your real life eventualities. The science comes from the formulation of deciding upon your objective for texting her, and write your messages accordingly.