#that Madison Beer meme was made for them

[sorbetowl]

Her #1 fan

Based on that one meme going around (the original post seems to be gone, sadly)

[allywthsr]

RECKLESS | (l.norris)

summary: you couldn’t attend the Hungarian grandprix and you find out through articles that Lando cheated on you

wordcount: 3.3k words

pairing: landonorris x singer!femreader

warnings: cheating, being sad

notes: felt a little sad today and listened to Reckless by Madison Beer on repeat so needed to write something down! Comment your thoughts!!

request are open

Lando and you, everybody thought that you would make it to the end. Nothing could ever tear you apart, it was him and you against the world, the power couple that physically felt pain when you spent more than three days apart. The singer and the driver, everybody always made fun of Lando on how he managed to catch you, but you always told them that you couldn’t believe he was yours. In your eyes, you were the lucky one, having such a supportive boyfriend was like winning the lottery, if not even better.

Whenever you were spending hours in the studio, he understood the situation and even canceled the movie night you guys planned because you had a creative day. He sat on the couch in your studio listening to you singing while he wondered how you were able to sound that beautiful. When you were sad, he was there to cuddle, whenever you were on your period he would run to the shops and get you your tampons and pads, your favorite sweet you always craved, and put his hand on your lower stomach while hoping this would somehow help your cramps, and if they were unbearable he would get up and make you a hot water bottle. Even in the middle of the night when you would be tossing and turning he would get up, get you a painkiller, and a hot water bottle, and cuddle you until you felt better and ready to sleep, without you ever asking him to do that. Whether it was a race week or not.

But really, he couldn’t believe how lucky he was. You first moved to Woking for him, moving everything you needed into your first shared home. You found a new studio and crew just so you could always be close to him. You were never angry when a meeting at the MTC or a training session took longer than expected and he came home late. You even moved to a whole different country for him. Monaco. You, again, found a new studio and crew that offered amazing support. You left all your friends you made in Woking to start over in your new home with Lando. You made cookies and told Jon they were sugar and everything free and full of proteins just so Lando could have one or two, sneaked little Kinder bars in the paddock that Lando could have after the race without anyone knowing. You knew him like the back of your hand.

Everyone joked about how you were practically married even without the ring, at least you were acting like a married couple. Always next to each other, holding hands, or one hand was always on your lower back, showing each other memes or fan edits wherever you were. He was in your family group chat and you were in the Norris‘ group chat as well, always sending little pics of the other to keep the family updated. You thought about kids' names, what kind of dog you wanted to get, and what your final home should look like.

Over the course of the last three weeks, he started to act weird. Coming home late, and not the ’I had training and Jon made me practically puke‘ late, it was the late where he would appear after 2:00 am. When you asked where he was, the only response you got was a: ”Sorry, the guys and I got stuck in a club“, knowing damn well that Max Fewtrell wasn’t even in Monaco and you couldn’t imagine his other friends staying up that late. He would kiss your forehead and cuddle you from behind, while you couldn’t smell any alcohol.

Every other day he would hang out with his friends, while their girlfriends shared how they were all doing something different with their significant other than Lando said they would do. Nor were there any fans posting a sighting of Lando, what would happen every time he went out in Monaco. When you asked him about that, he told you not to worry, he would be in his friends‘ flat that’s why there weren’t any sightings of him.

When the first picture with an unknown girl in his car appeared, he told you to not worry about her, she was the sister of one of his friends and he just picked her up because his friend couldn’t. You believed him because you‘ve been in a relationship for so long and you could never imagine a life without him. So when another picture of her and him appeared, you got another ’don’t worry about her, she‘s just a friend that wanted to hang out ‘. You didn’t worry but were sad that she got his attention and you didn’t. He was less affectionate than he normally was. But you didn’t worry. You told him that you didn’t feel comfortable with him always being with her, he listened and promised to change, but not even two hours later he got a call from who you believed was her and he ’needed to go, his friends needed him, it was an emergency‘.

But that all changed rapidly. Just because of one night the love story of Lando and Y/N was over.

Hungary.

Hungary now left a bitter taste on your tongue when you talked about the country.

You couldn’t join him for this race, because you had stuff to do for the album that came out a week ago, this was your most famous album yet, so everyone wanted you for an interview, getting your thoughts on the album and the stories behind them. Of course, it was an Album about Lando and the love you felt for him. What else were you supposed to write about, if he was your biggest inspiration?

So when you woke up the day after the race and you had hundreds of messages on your phone, from family and friends telling you to answer their texts and read the articles that came out during the morning, you were worried. Already having a bad feeling in your gut. Just yesterday you celebrated with Lando over FaceTime. Congratulating him over his P2 finish and making fun of him for smashing Max‘s trophy while doing his famous champagne celebration. You regretted not going yesterday, but now, you regretted it even more. Maybe then it wouldn’t have happened.

When you googled Lando Norris you found hundreds of articles. All of them with the same headline ’Lando Norris cheating on his girlfriend singer Y/N?‘. Your vision immediately clouded with tears, you didn’t even want to read the articles. Too scared of what they would say. So when you opened the first one you saw, you could see a blurry picture with bad lighting. Probably taken in a nightclub.

’Is Lando Norris kissing this unknown girl or is it just a bad angle? All we know is that his longterm girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N and singer couldn’t join him for the Hungary Grandprix because of a press tour she had for her newly released album that’s a love dedication for her boyfriend Lando Norris. Insights say that they‘ve split up not that long ago because of this mystery woman, who’s hugging Norris. Whether it is true or not, we currently have no exact information. But all we can say is that people that were partying with them said, that they looked very much in love and couldn’t stop touching each other, they made various trips to the bathroom and even went to his hotel together. But why would Y/N release an album about Lando if they were broken up? So far we have no statement from both of them, we‘ll keep you updated.‘

When you tried to call Lando, he didn’t pick up, nor did he read or answer any of your texts. You didn’t want to believe this article because you both swore to the other that you wouldn’t. The media would always take the smallest bit of gossip and turn it into a big thing and often enough assume things, that didn’t even happen. You couldn’t count the times Lando and you sat on your couch and laughed while reading all of the articles about your supposed breakup.

But this time, they had pictures and pictures can’t lie. You could clearly see Lando and the girl he ’had picked up for his friend‘. So maybe she wasn’t the sister but the reason he was always late and always missing important events like your album launch party. You could still see all the pitiful faces everyone made when you told them he couldn’t come because of an ’MTC emergency‘, you didn’t come up with a better excuse. He never even told you he wouldn’t make it, he just didn’t show. So you released the album that’s about him, without him, you‘ve never been more embarrassed.

So you went to get your notebook and started writing. Letting all the feelings out you felt in that moment.

Hey, this is a story I hate

You already hated how it ended, hated how your story now had an end.

And telling it might make me break

You weren’t sure how you could make it through this situation without breaking, Lando was your first real love, you'd never thought he would be a cheater.

But I'll tell it anyway

You needed to get everything out of your system or you might burst.

This chapter's about

How you said there was nobody else

You remembered all the times he told you there was nobody else after you saw the picture of her in his car. Filling your spot, the spot where you kept all your essentials you needed during a short ride, Lando being a huge fan of the hand creme and you knew he secretly used it.

Then you got up and went to her house

The missing and coming home late made sense now. He always went to her house, that’s why the boys always did different things than he told you. Now you understood why there were no pictures of Lando in his car or him walking around town because he was always with her.

You guys always left me out

Whenever you asked if you could join his group for a round of golf he told you it was a boys-only round, but when you saw the girls‘ Instagram story of a golf caddie you knew you'd been left out and now you wondered if he took her. Introducing her to his friends. Were the girls already friends with her and meeting for lunch?

I still have the letter you wrote

When you told me that I was the only girl

You'd ever want in your life

You remembered the times he gave you a handwritten letter. At the beginning of your relationship, you told him how sweet you found it in movies when the boyfriend gave his girlfriend a love letter. And every now and then he wrote you a love letter. You memorized the last line he always wrote in every letter. ’You‘re the only girl I’d ever want in my life next to my mum and sisters, darling, I love you so much‘ and you believed him, because why shouldn’t you?

I guess my friends were right

During the early stages of your relationship your friends always told you, that he would want a younger girlfriend at some point, because he was famous and had money, he could get every girl he wanted even when he was sixty-three years old. You laughed at them, telling them what Lando and you had was real and would last a lifetime, he wasn’t someone that would want someone new every other week, he was a keeper. Oh how wrong you were.

Each day goes by and each night, I cry

After the first few pictures, when things got too much you let a few tears slip your eyes. And with every night that he came home late, you laid awake, hiding your tears and trying to keep your sobs quiet.

Somebody saw you with her last night

The more time passed the more pictures appeared and slowly headlines started to form but you didn’t believe them. Every day there was a new sighting of them, but she was just a friend, you had nothing to worry about.

You gave me your word, "Don't worry 'bout her"

You tried to count how often he told you not to worry, but you lost count. Now you found yourself pathetic, believing his lies and not even worrying while you had every right to be skeptical but you weren’t.

You might love her now, but you loved me first

They say you always love your first love, but did he? Was it even possible to love someone new that fast after cheating on someone? You couldn’t imagine it. But apparently he did, he had to, if he cheated then he had to love her now because why else would you betray your partner if you would love them?

Said you'd never hurt me, but here we are

”I will never hurt you, angel, you are forever my favorite person. If I ever hurt you, you have my permission to kill me.“ you laughed after he said that. Thinking how silly he was, he could never hurt you. Why should he? You wanted to punch yourself for believing him.

Oh, you swore on every star

”Are you seeing all the stars baby?“, you were laying on your blanket you bought for stargazing nights, as Lando liked to call them, he found it romantic to lay under the stars. ”Yes of course I am Lando“, you giggled. ”That’s how much I love you, I swear on all of them that I will always love you, you are my person.“, after that you kissed him and didn’t let him go, you remember how sweet you found the words he always told you.

How could you be so reckless with my heart?

He played with your heart and trust, threw it on the ground, and ran over it with his f1 car. At least that’s how it felt. It felt like he didn’t even care what he was doing to you, doing what he wanted and not even thinking about you.

You check in and out

Of my heart like a hotel

Whenever he wanted to be affectionate, you would let him and whenever he needed his space, you gave him that. Being at his back and call whenever he needed you, not caring what you felt and needed. He chose when to be loved and when not.

And she must be perfect, oh well

You both always said how you found the ’you‘re perfect‘ saying, bullshit. Nobody is perfect, everybody has their flaw and makes mistakes. When he forgot to get your favorite brand of sweets when he went out for groceries, he apologized but you were okay with it because he wasn’t perfect. He always told you, you were close to being perfect and if there was someone better than you, she had to be perfect. But that was impossible because perfect didn’t exist.

I hope you both go to hell

Maybe you were overreacting, maybe there was a logical explanation on why he cheated, but you couldn’t imagine one. You wanted him to leave and go somewhere far away, so you would never have to see him again. You wished him to have a broken leg so he couldn’t race next weekend, you wanted him to suffer somewhere the way he deserved. And her too. She must’ve known he wasn’t single, she could‘ve stopped it or even prevented it if she would have wanted to.

I still have the letter you wrote

When you told me that I was the only girl

You'd ever want in your life

Often the letters were addressed to ’the only girl I ever want in my life‘, you even put his handwriting with this sentence on your album cover. Showing his love for you with it, while everybody was swooning over the sweet words he always found for you, now all they meant to you, were broken promises.

I guess my friends were right

Even after celebrating your fourth anniversary, your friends told you to be careful, you never knew what men were up to. You laughed, thinking how your man would never hurt you. You should’ve listened.

Each day goes by and each night, I cry

Somebody saw you with her last night

Every time someone sent you another picture of her, you cried your little heart out, too scared that she would do something that he would regret later, you trusted Lando, but not her.

You gave me your word, "Don't worry 'bout her"

You could only shake your head now. The typical ’don’t worry about her‘ and you actually believed him, you didn’t worry about her because he made you feel loved. With every ’don’t worry about her‘ you grew a little more suspicious but you trusted him, so you didn’t worry.

You might love her now, but you loved me first

”The first love is not supposed to last, but you will always be my first love and my favorite.“, he told you one morning in bed after a wild night. You smiled and cuddled to his naked chest, thinking how you were Lando Norris‘ first love, no one could take that from you. Being the first love was a good feeling.

Said you'd never hurt me, but here we are (here we are)

Even before you got together you told him that you were scared of getting hurt, you didn’t want to go through the process of getting over someone you loved. But he promised to never hurt you, because he loved you too much for it, guess not, huh?

Oh, you swore on every star

Every time you couldn’t be together for a race he would text you when it was nighttime at your place, that you‘d only have to count the stars to see his love for you. The stars would represent his love when he couldn’t show you personally.

How could you be so reckless with my heart?

Your poor heart now had a hard time, recovering from such a tragic event, not being thought about and just trashed like he didn’t even care.

How could you be so reckless?

How could you be so reckless?

Yes, how could he be so reckless?

How could you be so reckless with someone's heart?

You were sure that she also must feel bad, or at least start feeling bad when the fans would find her Instagram account and trash her. You were never a fan of hating someone online, but it was her own fault, being the other girl is a hard thing that you have to carry for the rest of your life, you basically destroyed a relationship.

Hey, this is a story I hate

You couldn’t believe how love could turn into hate so quickly. You had loved the love story you and Lando shared. Meeting at an event, exchanging numbers, and falling in love. But now you hated every minute of it. Wishing you would have never met him.

But I told it to cope with the pain

Music was your therapy. You needed it to survive, otherwise, you would burst with feelings, normally happy ones, now you needed it so you wouldn’t fully break down.

I'm so sorry if you can relate

———————————————————————————

Part two

[andthisisdia]

🫧Hi🫧

Name: call me Dia💎

Age: I was born in 2002 and I'm too lazy to update my age every year💅

Nationality: Italian (English is not my first language so I might make some grammatical errors)

🏳️‍🌈: I'm a bisexual and demisexual/aromantic girl (I use she/her pronouns)

MBTI: ENTJ (Don't stereotype me. I'm just really into doing things right and I like to have a plan for everything. I always try to find a solution to people's problems)

Something about me: I'm autistic 🪐 and I'm very extroverted, I like to socialize and meet new people. So if we have any interests in common, feel free to write to me🌌 (Read the continuation to find out more about me and what I post, it's important. Thank you)

(I made this edit using picsart stickers that represent my interests and something about me)

🎮Favorite video games:

•League of Legends (I play on the European server)

•Wildrift

•Valorant (I don't play it that much because I'm not very good)

•Overwatch

•Team Fortress 2 (my hyper fixation, I need to talk to other tf2 fans. I'm going crazy, I don't know who to talk to about it, I'm afraid of appearing boring to my friends who aren't fans😭😭😭)

•Life is strange (this game made me realize I'm not straight)

•Detroit Become Human

•Danganronpa (I discovered this thanks to tik tok during the pandemic. It was very trendy at the time)

•The last of us

•The Sims 3/4 (I never had the chance to play the previous ones)

🍿My favorite TV series are:

•Shameless

•Love, Death & Robots

•Bojack Horseman

•Arcane

•She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

•Ever After High

🎼Singers I like:

•Madison Beer

•Mitski

•Ariana Grande

•Ashnikko

•Kali Uchis

•Girl in Red

•Marina and the diamonds

•KDA ("Akali that girl, 'kali go grr 'Kali don't stop, 'kali don't skrt 'Kali got a job, 'kali go to work 뜨거워 언제나 don't get burnt" 🗣🗣🗣)

•Gorillaz

•Queen

•Molchat Doma

•Arctic Monkeys

•Mother Mother

•Jack Stauber

•Cavetown

•TV girl

•Bo Burnham

I actually listen to a lot of artists but I don't remember them all c:

🫧Things I like:

•Lost media

•Liminal space

•Dreamcore

•Nostalgiacore

•History of cinema (especially animated films)

•Psychology (and all other branches of this science. I also love anthropology and sociology)

•Travel and discover new places

•Everything that has to do with creativity (Drawing, writing stories and fanfiction, creating things like accessories for your clothes and such very cute things. I really admire people who can repaint dolls)

•Having fun (going out with my friends, watching films - if they're trashy films it's even better -, sending each other memes and tik tok videos and things like that)

🪷Hobby:

•Cosplay (Especially cosplaying my comfort characters)

•Drawing (I haven't drawn seriously since 2020. I'm waiting for inspiration)

•Collecting dolls (I love Monster High, Ever After High, Rainbow High and L.O.L O.M.G. I also collect Funko pops and figures from other brands. I also have many books and comics -which I have to finish reading because there are too many-)🧸

•Roleplay (Doing roleplay with me means that I have already organized the whole plot. But I also listen to the other person's ideas)

•Find out about the topics that interest me (Most of the time they have to do with culture. I'm a very curious person and I love to inform myself)

💿What I post on Tumblr:

•Things about my fandoms (Mostly I repost cute icons, headcanons and wallpapers) I post things related to my fandoms. I like making wallpapers, icons and moodboards (Maybe start writing some headcanons)

•Positivity (Especially mental health or pride posts about being a member of the LGBT community. Be yourself🌈Be unique)

•Aesthetics (If I see some nice photo of a sunset or the sky, I immediately repost it because I feel like it. I also post a lot of things related to nostalgia because as I said before I like the "nostalgiacore" aesthetic. And I'm very nostalgic, they were beautiful times when the only worry was "which Monster High character am I?")

•My posts are tagged "Dia's post"

🦦Other random things:

•My favorite musicals are Heathers and Ride The Cyclone (the name of my blog is a mix between two of these songs)

•I'm terrible with numbers and sometimes I read the wrong words (I have a learning disability -be patient-)

•In my blog there are posts about Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss BUT IT'S NOT A SPECIAL INTEREST OF MINE. I recognize that they are two series with a lot of plot holes and nonsense. But it still reminds me of time spent with my friends. I actually like hearing people analyze and criticize it. I'm fond of the character of Vaggie and I like the ship between Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb but as I wrote before: it's no longer a special interest of mine. I am neutral towards them

•I'm an atheist

•I am very interested in the meaning (and world) of dreams

‼️ Sometimes I also reposted something related to when I feel down. Unfortunately I have a lot of trauma but I'm trying to move forward and get better‼️

🔞I'm a girl from 2002 so I have young adult maturity‼️ For adults (because I know we are not all the same and not everyone likes some things) I would like to point out some things that I could reblog: I might reblog paintings or sculptures with naked people BUT also drawings with people semi-naked or shown in a sexy way. The artists I refer to are: Fumetti Brutti by Josephine Yole Signorelli and EvviArt. They are the only ones I follow but it is to make you understand what type of art I like. I could reblog posts where sexual topics are written: from the classic "use protection when having s3x" or raise awareness about some topics related to this theme. I want people to be informed about some aspects of this topic (I'm not talking about p0rnographic things ) such as the importance of using protection and above all how important consent is. I don't reblog kink-related stuff or explicit porn because it's not a topic of interest to me. And I don't even have kink because s3x isn't a topic that interests me. It doesn't shock me to hear about NSFW things (it disgusts me if disturbing topics are included in this topic). Many of my interests (TV series or video games and things like that) involve adult themes. I prefer to specify that I could publish things like this because I know that many people don't want to see these things. And in any case I want to talk to people my own age. If you like some wallpaper made by me, there are no problems because a wallpaper is a normal thing and everyone can use them. But if you don't like adult things then don't interact (especially if you're a minor) In summary: you can like icons or wallpapers or memes (these are innocent things and everyone likes them. Everyone uses icons and wallpapers) but interact with me if you are adults🔞

🧜‍♀️Comfort characters:

•Jinx (League of legends/Arcane. She is my main and for certain things I see myself in her)

•Seraphine (League of Legends. didn't like her at first but I love her gameplay. And I think she has the best skins -along with Jinx, of course-)

•Evelynn (League of Legends. She's a Goddess)

•Chloe Price (Life is strange. She made me understand that I like women too. I love this punk)

•Sunset Shimmer (Equestria Girls. She is one of the few ENTJs to be a positive character. I really like how her character has evolved)

•Reagan Ridley (Inside Job. We are very similar in certain things)

•Entrapta (She ra. I love this chaotic neutral autistic scientist princess. Again, I see myself in her)

•Kotori Minami (Love Live! When I was in middle school this was my favorite anime)

•Dia Kurosawa (Love Live! Sunshine. Love Live is an anime that accompanied me as I grew up. I'm very fond of it)

❕️I'm looking for young adult people like me (young adult means being over 18 and under 30). I have no problem with NSFW (I prefer artistic nudity) and I have no problem with swearing. I have a certain maturity so I want to interact with people like that.❕️

🌟Talk to me if you are a normal person (and if you're nice and send funny memes. Or if you want to talk about some fandom in common or something. We can also play some video games together or talk about philosophical things like "what's the point of life?" or things like "do aliens exist?")🌟

‼️ This is my safe space🗣 SO DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU ARE: racist, homophobic, ableist, transphobic and against the LGBT community, do not interact if you are a pedophile and if you harm animals.Don't fetishize queer people. We are people, not nsfw categories. And don't romanticize the Mafia. Be kind and open-minded. Don't interact if you are against feminism (which I remind you, means gender equality), don't interact if you are people with ideas of hatred and discrimination. No ignorant people about mental health or what is happening in the world, because we are in 2024 and we need to have a minimum of culture. If you think abortion is murder, I would say you can also go elsewhere because I support women's rights and human rights in general. In general, don't interact if you are a person with bad ideas (that kind of bad ideas. Go away)‼️

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 20/04/2024 (Sabrina Carpenter, Dua Lipa, Perrie Edwards)

Hozier sticks to a second week at #1 on the UK Singles Chart with “Too Sweet” and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start with our notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we actually have a bit of a massacre so we must bid adieu to: “7 Minute Drill” by J. Cole (that one we literally say farewell to, it’s been deleted), “Cinderella” by Future and Metro Boomin featuring Travis Scott, “Make You Mine” by Madison Beer, “CARNIVAL” by Hitler and Goebbels featuring Rich the Kid and Playboi Carti, “Made for Me” by Muni Long, “bye” and “yes, and?” by Ariana Grande, “Would You (go to bed with me?)” by Campbell and Alcemist, assisted by a remix with Caity Baser, “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong, yes, really, “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift and finally, even though we all know it’ll be back, “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers.

It actually turns out that the most interesting stories here outside of the top 10 and new tracks… are the returning entries, because there are quite a few, they’re quite high and also quite - at least tangentially - related to a cultural event. Firstly, we have the release of a biopic revolving around the late singer Amy Winehouse who has captivated audiences long after death and the recent release of Back to Black, as well as its soundtrack, mostly a compilation of Winehouse’s songs and her influences, has propelled the studio album of the same name to #22 on the album chart whilst giving some of her legacy catalogue a solid boost. The song of the same name, “Back to Black”, had several initial runs from 2007 to 2008, peaking at “only” #25, but returned with stride after her passing to find a new peak of #8 in 2011. At #1 that week was “She Makes Me Wanna” by JLS featuring Dev. The charts don’t always reflect what music actually stands the test of time, let’s just say that. Today, it’s at #51. An even more storied chart run comes in at #44 with “Valerie” by Mark Ronson featuring Amy Winehouse. Ronson’s version largely eclipsed the original Zutons version released the year before. The Liverpool indie rock outfit peaked at #9 with their version, whilst Nelly Furtado’s “Maneater” topped the charts, but by the time Ronson and Winehouse came along, the chart was instead reigned by Sugababes with “About You Now”, which halted “Valerie” from hitting #1. Similarly to “Back to Black”, it did return to the chart after her passing though not very high, so I assume that it must have some degree of prominence in the biopic, I’ve yet to see it.

As for our two other re-entries, they somehow have even more chart history dragged into them, so bear with me. Paul Simon wrote “The Sound of Silence” and recorded the track as a member of Simon & Garfunkel in 1964, and despite this being the most prominent and successful version, hitting #1 Stateside, it somehow never once appeared on the UK Singles Chart in any form until long after, specifically in 1966 when an Irish pop group The Bachelors covered it, basically taking any steam off of the original by peaking at #3. The Spencer Davis Group’s “Somebody Help Me” was #1 at the time. It wouldn’t appear on the charts again until damn near half a century later in 2012, when viral acoustic singer Kina Grannis took it to #93. However, and I really wish I couldn’t say this, the most successful cover may be from nu metal band Disturbed, who reached mainstream success worldwide by covering the track in 2016, by then it had been thoroughly memed to death as well as being a long-term pop staple, yet it still worked. Their mediocre version peaked at #29 and now it’s back at #47 because of an inexplicable, practically unlistenable house remix by Australian DJ CYRIL that Paul Simon could probably sue for murder. I didn’t like the Disturbed version, but this is a new level of groanworthy.

As for our final re-entry, we should look towards the album charts, wherein Oasis’ 1994 debut Definitely Maybe is actually down a full positions, lower than other Oasis albums. The irony in that is that it’s the iconic Britpop band’s 20th anniversary this past week, with them releasing special physical editions of their debut single “Supersonic” to mark the occasion. It never really peaked that high to begin with, only at #31, but it did stick around and return for several runs for basically most of the 1990s, only to return once again this week as our highest re-entry at #42.

The gains are a lot less interesting but there are still a handful of notable boosts, namely “Jump” by Tyla, Gunna and Skillibeng up to #38, “Good Luck, Babe!” by Chappell Roan at #33, “I Don’t Wanna Wait” by David Guetta and OneRepublic at #25 (Jesus Christ), and finally, “Hell n Back” by Bakar nearing its old peak at #21.

This week, our top five on the UK Singles Chart consists of: “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” by Beyoncé holding at #5, “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims floating at #4, “i like the way you kiss me” by Artemas smooching its way up to #3, Benjamin of Boontown is at #2 with “Beautiful Things” and of course, Hozier still at #1. Now, there’s actually quite a lot to discuss in our new entries, despite the fact that Taylor is still a week away yet, in fact this might end up the more interesting week because no-one is dropping the same day as her. So let’s review them, shall we?

New Entries

#49 - “We Still Don’t Trust You” - Future and Metro Boomin featuring The Weeknd

Produced by Metro Boomin, Peter Lee Johnson and MIKE DEAN

Yup, all of our new entries are within the top 50 this week, and most of them well into the highest reaches of the chart. Given Taylor only has three songs coming next week, I’m pretty excited for a from-the-top shake-up that won’t be immediately torn down… at least until the temporary Eurovision blockade, but we’ll deal with that when it comes to it. For now, I had only heard one of the songs debuting this week before today, and it was this one, the intro and title track to the second of the Future-Metro collaboration tapes, which debuted at #11 on the albums chart this week. Not every track hits on this second album, but if you remember what I thought about the first album, you’d recall I preferred the hazier, more melodically-focused pop-trap that was prevalent through the middle section, and this new record is essentially an extended version of just that with a triumphant victory lap full of bangers on the back-half bonus disc to balance things out. Future is a lot more emotive, Metro is delivering beautiful cloudy soundscapes, and the hooks are catchier than ever, though it’s not nearly as immediate so I understand that it performed less successfully even if it is a damn shame. It also means we only have the first track here, which is barely even a song ultimately, more so an extended, hallucinatory introduction blending punchy synthpop drums with garbled psuedo-hooks about freaky girls from Future, a looming falsetto from The Weeknd over a borderline nu-disco groove and semi-verses that don’t really form into a complete song. In the album context, this is a brilliant introduction to where the album will take you: a late-night drive taking your mind off “the hoes” so to speak. As a charting single by itself, it’s honestly just weird. Other than being the intro to an album most people I imagine didn’t finish all the way through, I don’t understand why “All to Myself” didn’t take this one’s place. I guess it didn’t have the video treatment but regardless, weird single to push, even if it’s a great moment.

#46 - “KiKi (What Would Drizzy Say?)” - D-Block Europe

Produced by Eight8, Harry Beech and Ari Beats

Well, Drake’s in the news thanks to all the dissing back and forth so being the young brilliant entrepreneurs they are, DBE pushed out a song with him in the title, in a vague reference to Drake’s own “What Would Pluto Do” but a much less vague, openly cheap interpolation of Drake’s “In My Feelings”, and the chart history did not stop with our re-entries as if there’s a coherent theme with some of these new tracks, it’s egregious referencing. “In My Feelings” samples a plethora of tracks in the first place, but none as explicitly as DBE have riffed from it here. The original spent four weeks at #1, but I don’t see Young Adz’s nasal auto-croon rendition getting any higher than #46. I actually feel kind of relieved with this because this is back to the stupid, barely functioning DBE of old (and by old, I mean the late 2010s), with a terrible bass mastering job, overly loud flutes that nearly drown out Adz himself attempting to sing his way out of his lack of content, in the same melody as Drake’s chorus until he just starts talking instead midway through. Some of the 2020s improvements are actually present here though; Youthful Advertisements has much tighter rhyme schemes once he actually starts rapping, and they aren’t as audibly out of tune or beat with everything else as they probably would be if they tried this out when the original was big. He also puts a shell in his back like he’s a turtle, tells the girl to close her mouth and leads into Dirtbike Lb’s small contribution, a brief, half-dead and wordy verse that still washes Adz: this is what I’ve come to expect from the duo. There’s not much of an attempt at wordplay but cool turns of phrase that kind of imply he thinks Hermés is the name of the crocodile they killed to make the bag and not just the brand name… they’re good enough. This is good fun.

#41 - “A Bar Song (Tipsy)” - Shaboozey

Produced by Nevin and Sean Cook

Okay, if we’re going to sample egregiously, this is how we do it: not trying to play it off as a completely new song but not serving in the exact same lane and purpose as the original. Instead, let’s make unabashed re-recordings and reimaginings that don’t necessarily modernise or improve the song, and don’t set out to, instead crafting a different experience from the same fundamentals. Now I don’t like the original 2004 track “Tipsy” by J-Kwon mostly because of, well, J-Kwon being useless, but there’s a great hook to it, especially the radio edit, and the beat making up nearly entirely of weird sound effects over a distorted clap sample is pretty clever. The original “Tipsy” peaked at #4 for two weeks, whilst “Lola’s Theme” by the Shapeshifters was #1, and later The Streets’ “Dry Your Eyes”. Shaboozey, a singer featured on Beyoncé’s latest pivot, has taken advantage of that extra traction to completely reimagine the chorus of “Tipsy” and its general conceit of having fun at a gathering to take your mind off problems, especially with girls… but there’s a lot of depth added through the extra populist twist thanks to the financial troubles referenced in the verses, and some particularly really smart intricacies like turning the counting gimmick into counting the rounds of drinks at the bar. He recontextualises a basically meaningless gimmick into something that is a lot more resonant, and that’s really special. Sonically, it feels like a bit more organic stomp-clap soarer, and isn’t really all that special, but the inspired interpolation of “Tipsy”, alongside some great strings in the post-chorus, makes this what it is, and it doesn’t run out of tricks. The shift to a rap flow in the second verse to continue the momentum is brilliant, the spoken backing vocals amidst the multi-tracked crowd hook, which I almost wish was even louder, is a fun idea… and that’s before that final chorus where it breaks down and becomes a true drink-a-long. Sure, this may be a reimagined version of a song I don’t like really at all, but it goes far beyond just that and creates a new experience not just as a cover but as a separate entity entirely that embraces and benefits from its referencing. This is how you do sampling in pop, it’s excellent. I hope this is a smash.

#35 - “These Words” - Badger and Natasha Bedingfield

Produced by Badger

Alright, once again, we have a sample, this time with Natasha Bedingfield’s “These Words”, that other song you might remember from the album that parents “Unwritten”. What you may not remember is that whilst this hasn’t had nearly as much longevity as the title track, it actually peaked much higher, debuting at #1 and topping the charts for two weeks in 2004. This is in spite of it being complete garbage. I like meta narratives in pop music when done well and outside of its camp, it can be genuinely difficult to get through the jerky, dated production and somewhat embarrassing performance, especially lyrically, from Bedingfield. I understand the appeal, and the writing isn’t really a deal-breaker usually, but it’s especially striking to me when the actual music behind her quest to find the best words for her love song… just plainly sucks. Come 2024 and enter UK garage producer Badger, who remixes the track, crediting Bedingfield on streaming but for whatever reason not on the Official Charts page, and I have to say, completely stripping this catchy hook outside of its tedious context is another inspired reimagining, mostly because it turns the “I love you, I love you” refrain into a muffled, glitchy funfest over some of the most detailed, hyperactive 2-step drums I’ve heard on the charts in a while, alongside a hazier synthscape that really shines against the rawer vocal from Bedingfield. Once again, modern artists turn a song from the 2000s I never really liked into a completely different experience, in this case completely removing you from Bedingfield’s narrative to fully envelop you in the euphoric end goal she hints towards in the original. Hope this takes off too.

#31 - “Tell Ur Girlfriend” - Lay Bankz

Produced by Johnny Goldstein

Speaking of taking off, it seems we finally have the inevitable breakout single for Lay Bankz. I’ve been paying attention to her casual flexing and dismissal of pretty much anything else over firy, fast-paced Philly club bangers for a while now, probably since I discovered “Na Na Na”, and it did seem like TikTok would grant her an easy hit any moment now. She finally got it with “Tell Ur Girlfriend” and here, if you don’t remember the specific production elements of its original material, you might not recognise this has yet another interpolation. I wasn’t a fan of Ginuwine’s 1996 track “Pony” for a long time because I felt its dissonance harmed its ability to be a sex jam but… let’s be real, rarely do sex jams actually succeed without being in some way disruptive due to awkward lyrics or stagnant beats. Once I learned to shut up and appreciate Timbaland’s vocoder burping that calls itself a bassline, all was right in my world. It peaked at #16 over here in 1997 and did have a shelf life extending to an EDM remix peaking at #39 in 2015. Bankz and Goldstein don’t really make much use of “Pony”’s fundamentals rhythm or melody-wise, outside of that out of place vocoder burp that is repurposed as a measure-demarcating stab over a comically jerky, sing-songy synth that slows down the pace enough for a 2-step-influenced 2000s throwback, Destiny’s Child-esque, not to rap but closer to R&B. Bankz surprises me to a degree with just how effortlessly she swaps between faster jabs to the smooth choruses, and it almost makes me forget that this is a song about mutual cheating. Does it justify that? No. And who cares? They’re having toxic fun over the Ginuwine “Pony” vocal burp and some of the ugliest synths to hit the top 40 in years, this is not morally righteous in any regard. It’s just pure, sweaty, regretful fun and does not waste any of its two-minute runtime trying to justify itself, and given this whole song is a sarcastic power move about how they should probably tell their partners they’re sleeping with each other, I don’t think she cares in the slightest.

#10 - “Forget About Us” - Perrie

Produced by Steve Solomon and Andrew Goldstein

Okay, the samplefest ended up going pretty fantastically, so I have some hopes for the trio of pop girlies we have lined up all debuting in the top 10, starting with the solo debut from Perrie Edwards of the former girl group Little Mix. She’s always been one of the most prominent vocal talents in the group, so regardless of if the song actually works, there’s going to be power here, and that’s guaranteed, even with an Ed Sheeran writing credit and a compressed to Hell and back mix. In this soarer, Perrie’s ex has become a successful singer after the breakup and Perrie is begging for them to never forget about what they lost in the relationship, especially given how neither seem all that over this relationship and its fallout. There’s a propelling pop rock drive to this, even if the lack of electric grit may harm it a tad, not letting it get into truly bitter territory… which might actually be for the best. Ms. Edwards sounds great belting here but there is a level of restraint in all the acoustic swell that might sing closer to the desperate content, acknowledging the flaws in the relationship and that it is over, but that it should, please, stick to them as a memory. A less kind approach may have flattened its overall sincerity, so even if sonically, I’m not over the Moon about this, I can recognise that this is a tightly-written, excellently performed little pop rock jam that will serve as a good introduction to the solo career. I just want to hear where it goes next.

#9 - “Illusion” - Dua Lipa

Produced by Kevin Parker and Danny L Harle

Okay, Dua, let’s be straightforward. Mixing PC Music’s wildcard Danny L Harle with Tame Impala should lead to much more interesting music than what we’ve heard from Radical Optimism - a disgraceful album title - so far, and I won’t lie and say what has been put out post-”Houdini” hasn’t been somewhat disappointing. I was hoping that “Illusion” could take a bit of a different step, tap into some less recognisable territory for Dua, and whilst it may not have done that exactly, it’s definitely much more interesting. Harle and Parker go for a much tighter house groove here, with elevated pianos, chips of percussion that end up much more minimal under the looming vocal loops and progressive electronic synth beeping, maybe much less impactful than you’d expect. So where’s that in the content? Well, Dua sings about disappointment, playing off a façade placed up by this guy who’s just not impressing her at all, as she’s growing up from just being reckless with her lovers. It’s in the same vein as “Training Season” but with a more unique and honestly more fitting soundscape for that kind of romantic disillusionment, especially given a major conceit of the bridge is that she’s still going to dance all night with that illusion, she still gives in despite her best interests. It also has a ridiculous synth solo slabbed right in for no reason. Genius. Inspiring.

#6 - “Espresso” - Sabrina Carpenter

Produced by Julian Bunetta

I really have not been going into Sabrina Carpenter singles that chart with high expectations or really any expectation that I’ll enjoy it, and she keeps proving me wrong, but not in the way that say Dua just did. No, Ms. Carpenter shares more in common with D-Block Europe in that the appeal, at least for me, comes in the lack of subtlety and disregard for functioning outside of existing pop tropes, whilst still thoroughly embarrassing her public image, cycling around enough for me to be unironically on board. Like “Nonsense” was a plain rip-off that ended up surviving beyond the genuine article on comedy alone, and “Feather” is as light as possible, no pun intended, yet still pinches at you with its infestation of hooks, “Espresso” is emphatically stupid. “Switch it up like Nintendo”? “My give-a-fucks are on vacation”? “I know I Mountain Dew it for ya”? “MOUNTAIN DEW IT FOR YA”? It reminds me all too much of Selena Gomez’s nu-disco embarrassment “Love On”, but instead of selling the cringe with sheer forcefulness, which did surprisingly work for the incredibly limited vocalist Selena is, Sabrina plays the guitar licks and downright invasive pre-chorus synths off with utter, robotic dismissal. Sure, there’s vocal riffing and harmonising, but the main vocal line in the chorus is a multi-tracked, reverb-drenched, Melodyne-controlled nursery rhyme, and it doesn’t escape that lane for nearly all of its three minutes. There are spoken word interludes where she acknowledges the stupidity of the song and its content, but it’s always breezy and lacking in the cringe that would come with it if she cared much at all. The deadpan “Yes” ad-libs in the pre-chorus, and the detail put into the production, are what really sell this to me though. It’s orchestrated to make it seem like she doesn’t care, but there is an entire team twisting the knobs to turn that faux carelessness to a seamless radio edit… and well, they need a raise. She’s done it again. This is ridiculous.

Conclusion

She doesn’t get the Best of the Week though because that, far and above, goes to Shaboozey for “A Bar Song (Tipsy)”, and the Honourable Mention… well, I can’t give out a Worst of the Week at all here. Or even a Dishonourable Mention. Sure, Perrie’s song is a bit generic and maybe my enjoyment of the DBE track is purely for the comedy factor, but I still thoroughly enjoyed my time with them, so I’m just going to tie the Honourable Mention between “These Words” by Badger and well, “Espresso” by Sabrina Carpenter, which is shaping up to thankfully be huge. As for what’s on the horizon… Taylor Swift and Drake. It’s back to the big leagues in the next episode but for now, thank you for reading, long live Cola Boyy, and I’ll see you next week!

[selezione-innaturale]

Music Shuffle

You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. Put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs then tag ten people! No skipping!

I was tagged by @regina-del-cielo, so can I really pull myself out of it? (I’ve had tag games in my draft for MONTHS I know aaaaa)

I have a youtube playlist which, in an impulse of creativity, I named “my music“, so I’m going to go with that.

Sono Così Indie 2018 - Lo Stato Sociale The title means “I’m so indie”, but rest reassured, I’m not! It’s the 2018 sequel of a song from 2010, with the same title They had to make a sequel because in the meantime they became famous, which is not a very indie thing. Best line: “Punctuality is a pain in the ass, it’s a product of capitalism”

No Tengo Dinero - Righeira GOD YES that is or has been my favorite song! Righeira were an Italian duo of pop/electro who sang in Spanish. You  may know them for Vamos a la playa, also in my playlist. The song is awesome and makes me feel like I’m floating in the clouds, but what you really want to see is the video. It’s a mixed technique video made with the rotoscope and it’s so 80′s it’s unreal. If you ask me, best music video ever tied with On Your Mark, which was animated by studio Ghibli, so there’s that.

POP/STARS - K/DA ft. Madison Beer, (G)I-DLE, Jaira Burns YT is apparently doing everything at his disposal to discredit me. This is a music video in which female characters from League of Legends (which I don’t play) sing, voiced by kpop stars. Believe me, if someone makes me experience both kpop and LoL it must be good

Groove Is In The Heart - Deee-Lite One of the funkiest and craziest videos ever. It’s from 1990, and it has aptly described as “the moment the 80′s turned into the 90′s”. May it suffice to say that I’ve got it saved on a playlist named “ppl who got the moves”

Butterfly - Smile I didn’t even remember I had this. But, really, I have no excuse. (the ddr mega remix is better, though)

Scottish - Le Bour - Bodros Quintet I listen to a lot of folk music. Honestly, this track is just really good! It has a fantastic sax!

Monkey Eats Bananas - Princess Chelsea Part of “the weird part of youtube”. The video is insanely random, but the music is a bop as well!

Posin' - Peggy Suave Kids these days still like electroswing like in 2012, right? I have no idea, but this song became a meme a while ago, so you might recognize it. It was a JoJo meme, I think.

Cellphone's Dead - Beck I don’t listen to Beck except for a couple of songs (that’s how I deal with music, I’m lazy), but people say he’s a musical genius and I believe them. There’s also a music video for this song which I saw on MTV when I was a kid and I love it.

Talking To A Stranger - Avalanches Rework [Extended] Remember the Avalanches? Those guys who go to the flea market, pick up random vinyls and remix them? Those behind Frontier Psychiatrist? Yeah, now you remember. It’s them! And they clearly do not just remix old records. This stuff rocks AND it’s great to focus at work.

Tagging no one because it’s midnight, I’ve had a terrible evening at work and I have to go to sleep. If you see this post and you like the idea, consider yourself tagged!

[thebellamybarnesarchive]

Selfish by Madison Beer

‘always knew that you were too damn selfish.’

Terrible Marriage Human AU with Ryden Bolt

       Rain slammed down against the windows that made up their home, their lives on display for a world that for so long felt like it hadn’t existed outside of them. Fights, make-ups, confessions, and the evenings where they perpetually abandoned one another out of spite or worse, a reckless craving to have the other one notice. When had things shifted? When had it gone from baths together and drinks all night to one forgotten as the other took off.

       It was her turn that night, long silk coat dragging along the ground as her heels clicked over marble flooring, the home as cold as they were to one another. In Bella’s hands was a large Louis Vuitton suitcase, another buisness trip Ryden supposed as he watched her from the dinner table, a stark difference in attire as he leant back in the chair, barefoot and shirtless, sweats to be in something because then he could pretend she hadn’t completely lost interest in him the way he had in her. Where was the spark.

      “Where is it today?” Ryden asked as Bella pulled open a draw in search of her passport. It wasn’t there, but rather beneath his hand against the glass dining table.

      Pulling open more she almost ignored him, fingers flicking through papers and items in their draws. “Milan,” she answered, looking up finally, Ryden lifting the passport for her to see, his wife sighing as she went to grab it.

       Why did he have to be like this? He didn’t want her here anyway. He could invite any of the woman he had in his life over, every one would fall into his bed, faster than she had. Bella knew it as she walked over, heavy bag still in hand as the other reached for it. He looked almost exactly as he had when they first met, toning to every muscle on his body, lines of different shades of black covering him with art less interesting than he was. Bella was never going to be enough, especially when she couldn’t exist perpetually around him.

        Ryden pulled the passport back, Bellamy dropping the heavy bag and adjusting the slim fitting dress she wore to go and see a boardroom of men who were not him. Did they do anything for one another anymore? It didn’t seem like it, to either of them. “Ryden, I have to go, give me my passport,” she requested, another sigh escaping her lips as a growl escaped his own. Why had he even agreed to this? He should have known marriage without Sarah would never be good, it was doomed to be a waste of his time.

          “Please, I can’t do this now,” she begged, exhausted. He dropped his hand, offering her the passport, grabbing her wrist as she went to take it. Not aggressively, but firmly, Bella allowing his grasp. She wanted him to want her to stay, she did, but she couldn’t. Bella couldn’t just stop doing the things that her job required of her because he wanted her to. That was the issue, she wouldn’t give in on occasion, and he couldn’t forgive her for not doing so. Was he meant to be some kept man?

          Ryden looked down at her, those eyes steely in contrast with her own, warmer than she was to him. “Don’t go, stay here,” he said, words exhausted in his mouth. He’d said them enough, why did he keep trying? Was she ever really worth it?

           “I -,” Bella stopped, lips tightening as she held back words and contemplated staying. “I can’t. I’m sorry,” and she was, but not enough, never enough to stay.

           His grip lessened and she took her passport, leaning up to kiss him gently goodbye. Plump neutral toned lips remained at his, warm and evidently frustrated from how they felt against her own. Bella hated that feeling, nose burying into his cheek as she lingered there, trying to release his tension so he might not be quite so frustrated with her leaving. “Please,” she whispered, trying to kiss him again, this time opening her lips gently, passport dropping her floor.

            Feeling it against his feet Ryden gave in, kissing back as hands drew her near. For a moment it felt like she wanted him, like she might stay, his arms wrapping around her middle beneath her coat, pulling her against him and off the floor. Neither quite able to tell if she would stay, and they’d spend the night listening to each other and the rain, or if she pull away, scold him and leave in time for her plane. That hurt, to fear that, to fear that unknown, for both of them.

            “Stay,” he insisted as lips trailed along her skin and fingers found buttons at the back of her dress, ready to remove it before he’d even taken off her coat.

            “Puppy, I -”

#took so long cause i ended up in a disney music hole#haha#honestly hard to write them in a situation where they'd treat each other badly#cause lets be real#bella would never#and ryden would never#wolfontheloose#meme

@wolfontheloose​

[slytherpuff98]

Answer 21, tag 21 people you would like to know better ☆

I was tagged by @sly-vixen-up2nogood @ploogaumm and @annevmoreira : thank you Sweeties!

I've no idea if I've already done this or not, so I've happily decided to do it anyway 🤗❤ Unfortunately, I don't think I'll tag people this time: I'm sorry 😅

Nickname/s: Angelica, Angel, Angy, Tina Parlantina, Spiritello, Micietta, etc. ( I've been called a lot of names since I was little and not only by family members, still they're mostly in italian 😅 )

Zodiac Sign: ♉

Height: I do not remember and I don't want to 😂 You guys very well know that I'm a toddler 😖

Hogwarts House: HUFFLEPUFF 🖤💛

Last thing I googled: "Brie Larson" because I needed her beauty for a meme for a wonderful person 😎❤

Favourite Musicians: I've no favourites, but I like a lot of musicians and singers, old and new, dead or alive... So, I've no idea how to answer this one 😥

Song stuck in my head:

https://youtu.be/1ALpbkbuxXo

Following: a lot of wonderful artists from the Hogwarts Mystery Fandom ❤

Followers: 310+ and I have no idea how that happened 😭❤

Do I get ask? Yup :3

Amount of sleep: I've been sick lately so I've rather slept too much or not at all recently... 😥 My perfetc sleeping schedule has said goodbye to me.

Lucky number: I do not have one... I think 🤨

What am I wearing? An Hello Kitty pijama and a lot of disappointment in my own house heating system 😑

Dream Job: sadly, I've stopped dreaming about a job since I've entered High School... I'm not even sure if I'll ever have a degree 😅

Dream Trip: France and Japan 🇫🇷🇯🇵

Favourite food: Lasagne and Pasta alla Carbonara are the things I've been dreaming of since I got sick 🤤🤤🤤

Instrument/s: long ago, I used to play the Piano 🎹

Language/s: English and Italian, for now...

Favourite songs: Again... I've a lot of them, so I'll just leave here the last five I've bought.

1] POP/STARS ( feat. Keira Burns ) by K/DA, Madison Beer & (G)I-DLE

2] Delete Me by NateWantsToBattle

3] Monster Inside by NateWantsToBattle

4] Not Another Song About Love by Hollywood Ending

5] Somebody To You ( feat. Demi Lovato ) by The Vamps

Random Fact about myself: I've stopped wearing skirts and dresses while in Middle School and started wearing them back only in my fourth year of High School... I was too shy to, but I couldn't keep on going to my friends parties wearing jeans anymore. Now I wear skirt and dresses a lot.

Aesthetic: pastel colours, floreal textures, warm clothing, hot drinks with pastries, beauty products made out of honey, a lot of hair accessories, nude make-up and a pair of 5��� headphones ( is this how aesthetics work right? )

As I said, I won't be tagging anyone, but if you want to do it, you're free to 🤗💖

[capricxs]

oof. we really out here, doin this again. can’t believe been it’s been such a minute since i last posted in the 1x1 tag. but here i am once again, asking for more plots! under the cut you can find some plots i’ve written out that i want, and fcs i want to play/play again. please take a look at my 1x1 rules and of course, like this if you’re interested

first off, here’s my tag of wanted plots, but i’m going to highlight a few

this one

this one

oh my god. i saw this group on the train the other day that gave me an idea for a poly / mumu plot. like there were five of them i think. all sitting in a line on the train. there were two pairs that were obviously dating. and you had one of the dudes who’d reach over and tug the other girl’s ear or something, and the two bros sitting next to each other sharing their phone. and then the fifth guy who was sitting one next to them bc a stranger got that seat, just kept sharing the most intense eye contact w one of the guys while he was leaning w his gf and i was likewow. poly goal amirite ??

i have lowkey been wanting a love triangle. note, not an ot3 but an actual love triangle. so an instance where a character ultimately has to chose one character over the other. so like one player plays the two and the other plays the one their falling for (if that makes sense, idk) it can be any sort of gender and this i’m definitely… more picky about doing because i’m only going to write it in a healthy way so i’d have to trust that my partner also understand that.

kinda based off of this prompt i saw but more specific?? a mlm plot where the prince of (insert country we decide here) has been bisexual his whole life, however, he’s never publicly dated someone of the male gender before because his parents were like ‘oooo pls don’t’ but he has been dating the opp for years and he’s fooooookiinnggg readdyyyy too tiieeee thatttt knotttt. so theyr’e engaged and opp is a queer man himself, and they have to deal not only with the tension of being engaged to someone outside royalty or whatever, but also people coming forth being fucking Shook that their prince is going to Marry A Man ?? lots of tension lots of angst but also vvv fancy dinner with two men in love dressing the finest and their Love conquering all !!!!

i did a meme a while ago where i talked about characters i’ve made and they’re p much all open, i’d love to see them swiped up (or if you want to hear about some other ones, you can send them in if you’d like to see some more! but the tag is here

another plot based off something! if you’ve ever read the children’s story, or seen the stage musical a year with frog and toad, i need a gay plot based off of it! muse a and muse b have been neighbors for years, happily living by themselves in a quaint little town. they’re best friends, nothing could tear them apart ever. even with ups and downs, they always seems to come back together. even in their town, people just kind of want them to get together because they are so cute. and honestly ?? the shit they say ?? not hetero at all. so ya. it’s best if these characters are older, 30+. also they’re not frogs or toads. the play is just really fucking gay, alright?

i really want a teen titans-type mumu. i have a muse for ti that i’ve really missed writing. but it’s just a group of young adults who kick butts and maybe a couple love each other and it’s a general mess of fighting angst and going too far and morality yet love and friendship and blah blah blah give it to me right Meow

here’s a list of fcs i’ve been wanting to play and play against. if i prefer to play them, it’ll be in italics, if i prefer to play against them, it’ll be bold. if i don’t care, it’ll be left normal.

chris evans gregg sulkin mishti rahman lily james chloe bridges madison beer aubrey joseph zoey deutch herizen guardiola ryan gosling shannon purser carey mulligan lulu b oscar isaac miles teller barbara palvin james mcavoy keira knightley glen powell paul rudd    christina nadin iskra lawrence theo james blake lively eva de dominci laura harrier madison beer armie hammer charlie cox becky g john bernthal chris pine bree kish  candice patton !!!! john krasinski ansel elgort bob morely henry cavill halston sage

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 11 - “i am the balrog elder gay” - Kait

i am the balrog elder gay 

Losing Chloe BROKE ME. listning to Bye Bye mariah carey and crying!!! this is for the people who just lost somebody... SHOOT. I wanted her to blurt out more of her votes in tribe chats. RIP. a fallen Goddess...

SWEET BABY JESUS I GET A SECOND LIFE IN THIS GAME!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! OMG I LOVE THE LAGOON RN! BUT HOPEFULLY I CAN MAKE IT TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN RETURN BECAUSE I HAVE A FEW PEOPLE TO STRIKE BACK AT.

I’m so dumb, completely missed the voting deadline, in my defense i was teaching, but still. Never again, its merge (maybe) and im not gonna jeopardise my game like that.

I'm glad we merged but two people are returning to the game? This has been the most cracked game I have ever played.

Renee and Chips have a chance to return. Between the both I hope Renee comes back. She was an ally for me and most probably work together again.

Go rennee!

---

boo chips

MERGEMERGEMERGEMERGE!!!! glad my zodiac sign is known for being loyal cause I sure ain’t. 

This challenge is always weird but i think if people tell me the truth i may have cancelled out some of my stuff im getting. M&M&M are good standings hopefully. I also trust kait thomas and timmy. Hopefully i can make itndeep in the game.

---

This challenge was a total meh i guess this works. Hopefully i win immunity. If not hopefully im not a target. My relationship with Madison may be rocky right now cuz i blindsided her tribe friend in another game. So im kinda nervous. Hopefully she doesnt pass it her vengence here and tries to take me out.  Im slightly worried a but for this tc.

This merge is a little different from my norm game, I usually have 2-4 alliance chats going but I don't have a single one so far this game.  All my deals have been side deals so far, I do not know if that is a good or bad thing as of this moment in time.  Corey did fill me in that there was an alliance being formed that included him, at least it's indicative of him wanting "The Bull and the Lion" to continue to work. I am also way to mentally drained to give a damn, I just needed to make a confessional to not strike. I worked for 14 hours today but I made 325 dollars and now only owe 4k on my student loans.  Thassss a win in my book even if I get voted out, I'm just gonna drink some beer, hold Jenifer and go to bed.  Good night Moon.

THANK GOD I WON IMMUNITY. You have no idea how good it feels to not have to stress out too much this round. Considering there are 14 of us, really anything could happen, but it's great to know that I will make it through at least one more round. The only key here is just making sure that I stay on the right side of the numbers. The line will most likely be drawn in the sand, so it's important that I stay on the right side of it. So far, I think the people that trust me the most are Ian, Corey, and Matt. I talk to them the most out of everyone, and I do trust them all to an extent, Corey and Ian the most. I would love to find a way to get all three of them on the same page, but I know that will be a heard feat. Next in line would probably be Maynor, Madison, and Kait. I talk to these three a good amount, but for some reason I am having a hard time putting my full faith into them. I talk to Owen a good amount too, but he is a MAJOR threat, and someone that I do not want to be in the game for too much longer if I'm going to have a chance to win. For this round, in an ideal world, Thomas would go home. But that seems too easy. I am hoping someone starts throwing names around, but if not, I guess it will have to be me.

WHY DOES MATT HATE ME SO MUCH?!?!  I genuinely wanted to work with him after first impressions, I bet he was the one who voted Taurus now.  My idol now has a name attached to it, so thanks for that Matt.  In a way, I guess you did end up working with me in some fashion.  Ideally this round goes down with a clear majority on Stephan and Corey can get his save a vote activated and I play the slow burn on good ole Matteo, I wanted to butt heads with Owen at merge, but Owen has been a delight while Matteo has been nothing but a thorn in my side.  

Phew child this merge! 14 people is so so so many and I did in fact vote out Adrian and Chloe, both people who I’ve worked with. I’m left in a really interesting spot because of the warzones it’s still hard to see who has a pattern of voting together. I feel that I’ve positioned myself to be in a lot of threesomes, and hopefully nobody really catches on to that? I know Kait is my number one currently and I have trust with Madison and Devon and Corey. But I’m also fully aware that everyone is a huge threat, and I have to downplay myself as one as well. Hopefully a stepehen vote will provide me with good positioning, as we’re removing someone I personally can’t reallt work with, and lessening the numbers. I also wanna really work with chips but I’m sure everyone was chomping at that bit! Who doesn’t want a bite of chips!

I wish I could put an image in this form bc the joke I’m about to make is so funny Anyways lol I told Kait about the idol I felt like I had to or else I’d break her trust if I ever used it. But THEN LOL SHE TOLD ME THAT matt also has one LMAO THAY HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT!!!! So that meme I linked above is literally me and matt with our idols Here’s my prob tho I like l.... I have to tell matt bc he knows I guess the coordinate. So I guess that’s a thing that’ll happen

Finally have an alliance chat with Kait and Owen...it’s been so many rounds in the making tbh, it just needed to actually be made. I feel safer having that as well as us going to make one with Matt and Maynor as well, making sure that Matt is okay with it...Maynor already seems to be on board. The only name that’s been going around is Stephen so that kind of sucks because I wanted to work with him, but he isn’t around enough to try and rock the boat for in this game unfortunately. 

I found a hidden immunity idol which is awesome! Also, everyone has been silent this round after we decided on Stephen so that’s a bit suspicious 

This is a really hard round because I really like everyone. If any good came from it, it's that I solidified myself into a strong alliance that should be able to keep me safe for at least a few rounds. Corey did not seem to bite on my idea to vote out Owen. Matt says he is most threatened by Ian and Timmy. And everyone just seems to want to vote Stephen. I think this round will be pretty easy, but from this point on it just gets harder. I assume that Chips is in a bad spot and most likely will go next. But at final 12, it's going to be a doozy to see who can stay on top of the vote.

So thisrounf there is an alliance of 6 however I have 0 faith in Thomas. He is a wild card and will be hard to judge and work with. No idea what’s going to happen tonight. 

Aight a lot happening this merge!!! Fourteen people we losin our minds. First of all let me say half these ppl were kinda boring to talk to but I’m liking it a little better today. I came in wanting Stephen GONE because I lied to him during the taylor vote and we haven’t clicked since and I promised I would get out whoever lied to me in this food challenge and his bitch ass didn’t submit so I didn’t get my perfect ZERO!!!! So I was all ready to press him but suddenly Devon had already thrown out his name! Easy as pie. I rlly trust Kait and her and corey get along. I was branching out to some others too like madison is bae, Devon is fun, I like talking to Ian. My FAVORITE is Maynor I rlly like him but I’m scared matt has a hold on him. Anyways I helped set up some alliances today that I hope are solid. One is me Kait madison corey and then they wanted to add Devon and tommy which is cool. Still kinda pressed at Thomas because yesterday I said ily to him and he replied with lol but other than that it’s a good group. But then suddenly Timmy wanted something with Kait and I so I took that as an opportunity to solidify something with Maynor! Precious angel. Kait and I are worried because the tension between corey and matt lmao which is honestly kinda stupid. Matt was sus about corey after he spearheaded the renee vote which like I understand. And I stirrred the pot a little because I told corey that matt was after him lmao. But for now I’m rlly working hard to keep them from targeting each other and so is Kait. Idk how long that can last tho. Ummmm trace’s THOT HOE ASS told corey he wanted me out?!!! So he gotta GO! And Kait and matt think Ian is dangerous which I’m like ok maybe..., sure. Ummm Cullan is just mind boggling. He ate tater tots for breakfast who does that. But he’s sweet I guess. Id prefer him and Ian and trace gone soon but corey likes all those people oop. I rlly think Kait wants to stick with going to the end with me and matt which like.... I rlly will keep allegiance to Kait but matt? Idk. He kept his idol secret from me and it’s clear he doesn’t trust me as much which is fine, I wasbsure Stephen would target me tonight but apparently now he’s going for Thomas. Hopefully it’s an easy vote and Stephen goes and I get what I want and next round I’ll figure out what to do when it gets harder

Well. Tonight the vote is Stephen. Well, for the majority of us. For little young me, I will be voting for nobody! We acquiring a save vote. Hopefully, at our next tribal, Timmy leaves! Woo! I am in 2 alliances: Mighty Happy Meal (Owen, Kait, Madison, Devon, Thomas) and Queer Eye-ish (Madison, Matt, Trace). Period... I am loyal to my own people. Madison, Owen, Ian, Devon. Kait too, to an extent. The rest need to go at their time. I do what I can. Matt is a priority for me to get rid of. Unless Timmy wants Matt gone, I want him gone too for next time. x

Ep 11: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-fEEBtT8R4hk_587qknbxwLmB8yhN_lt/view?usp=drivesdk

This is my placeholder confession for until I am at a computer and able to type something out. I got back in the game!

alyssa said put ep 11: just a quick recap bc i have to play this silly flash game now before i pass out - corey and matt allegedly not liking each other is still a problem - owen found an idol - i told owen matt has an idol bc i have a big mouth - corey told owen all this shit about the vote and idk just other game sensitive stuff and not me and - there's an aliens of trace, matt, madison, and corey that trace allegedly made. this is a big question mark bc either it's just really random and people that trace wants to work with despite what they said or this beef??? between matt and corey is fake which i wouldn't be too surprised by - corey told all of this to owen before tribal but told him that he was going to wait until after tribal to tell me like.... i don't appreciate that. - i think that kind of solidifies that if/when corey v matt happens and i have to pick a side i wanna go with my matt. - im sure i will think of more tomorrow oh also i want ian to get deleted from skype thx

EP 11 Confessional: I got an idol this round which is cool. I heard the vote was stephen however it’s been kinda quiet. Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 

Aight a lot happening this merge!!! Fourteen people we losin our minds. First of all let me say half these ppl were kinda boring to talk to but I’m liking it a little better today. I came in wanting Stephen GONE because I lied to him during the taylor vote and we haven’t clicked since and I promised I would get out whoever lied to me in this food challenge and his bitch ass didn’t submit so I didn’t get my perfect ZERO!!!! So I was all ready to press him but suddenly Devon had already thrown out his name! Easy as pie. I rlly trust Kait and her and corey get along. I was branching out to some others too like madison is bae, Devon is fun, I like talking to Ian. My FAVORITE is Maynor I rlly like him but I’m scared matt has a hold on him. Anyways I helped set up some alliances today that I hope are solid. One is me Kait madison corey and then they wanted to add Devon and tommy which is cool. Still kinda pressed at Thomas because yesterday I said ily to him and he replied with lol but other than that it’s a good group. But then suddenly Timmy wanted something with Kait and I so I took that as an opportunity to solidify something with Maynor! Precious angel. Kait and I are worried because the tension between corey and matt lmao which is honestly kinda stupid. Matt was sus about corey after he spearheaded the renee vote which like I understand. And I stirrred the pot a little because I told corey that matt was after him lmao. But for now I’m rlly working hard to keep them from targeting each other and so is Kait. Idk how long that can last tho. Ummmm trace’s THOT HOE ASS told corey he wanted me out?!!! So he gotta GO! And Kait and matt think Ian is dangerous which I’m like ok maybe..., sure. Ummm Cullan is just mind boggling. He ate tater tots for breakfast who does that. But he’s sweet I guess. Id prefer him and Ian and trace gone soon but corey likes all those people oop. I rlly think Kait wants to stick with going to the end with me and matt which like.... I rlly will keep allegiance to Kait but matt? Idk. He kept his idol secret from me and it’s clear he doesn’t trust me as much which is fine, I wasbsure Stephen would target me tonight but apparently now he’s going for Thomas. Hopefully it’s an easy vote and Stephen goes and I get what I want and next round I’ll figure out what to do when it gets harder

[ofshilohs-blog]

heyho, hi ! i’m incredibly late jane ( pls just ignore that the accepted post says sylvia .. i was v insecure if u catch my drift ), twenty, she & her and from the glorious gmt+2 tz. along with being an avid dc & marvel fan, memes cause 90% of my laughs which .. is sad now that i think about it but Anyways ! you’re here for shiloh and not me ( mayhaps a little bit. here’s to hoping right. ) read below at ur own risk, you’ve been warned alright .. also if you want to plot just hmu or like this & i’ll im you later !

SHILOH HARTELL — wait, you mean the AMETHYST ? yeah, i’ve heard of HER before. they’re a TWENTY-ONE year old DANIELLE CAMPBELL lookalike and identify as DEMIGIRL. people often describe them as THE ARCANE of this island. i definitely agree, though. i mean, not to be rude or anything but shiloh can be kinda PEREMPTORY and PARADOXICAL, but everyone has their bad days. however, they’re also TRUSTWORTHY and DILIGENT, which makes people admire them so much. i guess what i’m trying to say is that they’re a true gem.

BACKGROUND ( TW: CAR ACCIDENT, COMA & ALCOHOL/SMOKING MENTION )

first things first .. you can click on each word to find shiloh’s bio & headcanons but i don’t want u to waste five mins of your life so i’ll try to cut it down to three. SKSKJ

besides that i’m actually kind of proud of this kind of social media page ?? so mayhaps look at it .. if u want.

really getting started now though

born april hartell in toronto in 1996, before her younger brother june was born one year later.

( for the sake of .. lbr everything i’ll just go on calling her shiloh bc otherwise it’ll be too confusing w/ april & shiloh ) in her early yrs shiloh used to envy june and the way their parents always preferred him, but fast forward to now and shiloh’s soo very glad they did. she taught herself numerous things she probably would have never considered if she wasn’t “ignored” a good few months and even after she brought up being left out to her parents it continued.

when shiloh was twelve, her brother was diagnosed with copd or more commonly known as smoker’s lung, an obstructive lung disease which only caused the family dynamic to spiral down.

after the news sunk in the hartell’s did everything for their brother/son and during those times shiloh and june actually grew close. shiloh mostly took care of her brother when their parents went out or simply had to recharge. ( the next few sentences are from her bio bc it’s 2am n i’m tired bear with me plS ) nonetheless graduating was just as important as taking care of june. shiloh has been known as some kind of a contradiction during her school years, always being excessively studious and getting straight a’s while being surrounded by other popular kids due to being the cheerleading co-captain. at the time her schoolmates didn’t know anything about shiloh’s home life as she preferred to keep it that way. hanging out with them gave her a few hours of calmness, despite most of them trashing other people’s property or trying to set her up with the most basic but popular guy, until they realized she apparently had no interest in any form of relationship. but what no one, except for her brother, knew was that shiloh in fact had a friends with benefits agreement with some messed up guy from a local university. shiloh always told june it wasn’t serious in the slightest and she probably wouldn’t even talk to him if he didn’t have his own demons to deal with.

shiloh always blamed her father for june’s disease as it was caused by him smoking every day and having june next to him almost all the time. while shiloh never wanted to become like her father, years later she believes she did despite trying truly everything not to.

at age eighteen shiloh changed her name legally, now using april as a middle name and nickname for her parents to use. ( once again copied from her bio rip ) ever since graduating shiloh started making videos to compensate for the lack of other distractions, as she wasn’t interested in meaningless hookups anymore either. being exposed to even more knowledge and terms than before, the brunette found herself more and more.

while spiralling down due to constant pressure at home and online shiloh had weak moments of consuming too much alcohol which only caused to cloud her judgement. it was june’s eighteenth birthday when shiloh made a fatal mistake, driving while intoxicated caused their car to hit a tree and damage its occupants.

it wasn’t until one month later that shiloh woke up from a coma, as disorientated and concerned as ever. when she caught the sight of her brother without any severe injuries shiloh was finally able to breathe normally again, not realizing her heart rate went up significantly just moments before.

even though june always claimed the crash didn’t worsen his condition, shiloh kept blaming herself just like she blamed their father for what he did to her younger brother. during that time shiloh started seeing similarities between herself and him that didn’t even exist.

once again distancing herself from her family shiloh put out more and more videos. as she gained subscribers rapidly, shiloh decided to talk about her private life for the first time publicly, hoping it’ll help people in similar situations.

getting mostly positive feedback and encouraging comments, shiloh approached her family again. she tried making peace with her own mind about everything that happened in the past, almost promising herself to not act the same way ever again.

as june’s condition got worse year after year, it hit its lowest point in 2016. no temporary treatment helped and the family’s former inherited fortune shrunk every year after trying one high-priced experimental endeavour prior to another. shiloh and her family got closer during that time once again, but her parents also insisted on her being able to have a life on her own. 

while applying to the closest car shop to become a mechanic, shiloh cut all ties to social media in the process after making one last youtube video explaining why. 

as her family heard of the gem theory they believed it’d be for a good cause to set shiloh up for it. being skeptical at first, shiloh put more thought into it. what if it meant the money she’d receive could be used for yet another attempt at finding a cure for her brother, or even the organization itself developing one ? after a few tests shiloh was all too familiar with, the result of being a perfect fit for the project surprised her to a degree. while hoping to partake in the experiment for the sake of her younger brother, shiloh simultaneously didn’t want to leave her hometown for the very same reason. having a long talk with june, however, convinced shiloh to be a part of the gem theory. still being skeptical, she hoped for some kind of silver lining.

PERSONALITY ( TW: ALCOHOL & SMOKING MENTION )

as mentioned above shiloh is very eager to learn about basically everything. she always needs something to keep her occupied. as megan abbott once wrote there's something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls and while the quote is only semi-fitting it definitely can be used to describe shiloh’s high school years, always fooling around and screwing up while maintaining this picture perfect kind of image as co-captain of the cheer squad and a straight a student.

contradiction has always been a big part of shiloh, balancing between two stereotypes if you will: nerd vs. popular kid, first born vs. being the “lesser” child, being incredible romantic vs. meaningless hookups, keeping all feelings in vs. letting them all out at once, not believing in anything that can’t be touched/seen vs. believing in aliens.

absolutely despises cigarettes, blunts and everything else that can be smoked.

believes that wearing glitter as highlighter takes her closer to the stars and aliens.

the only alcoholic beverage she regularly consumes is any type of red wine.

for the first time in her life, shiloh’s been away from her family for more than a month. while appreciating being able to live her own life, homesickness hits her a lot.

shiloh’s a very structured person, disliking chaos and things that don’t seem to make any sense. suffering from ocd especially intensifies the former along with spending up to an hour with things such as rearranging belongings again and again, something others probably wouldn’t even notice. back when shiloh did youtube videos those had to have a certain length as well, sometimes even having to be re-filmed.

being on the island gives shiloh a bad taste in her mouth more often than not with everything that happened. as she’s a person who doesn’t necessarily likes being observed after her online presence, shiloh’s reminding herself of the promise she gave her family of not returning without anything more than ever.

this was all soo v serious omfg. but have this little fun ig tidbit that the only meme shiloh’s familiar with is that snl sketch dear sister bc she used to love the o.c. which inspired it so have that. keysmash

WANTED CONNECTIONS

alrigHT this is not to toot my own horn bc Yikes ! MXALDKS but i’m best at brainstorming and rambling when it comes to connections but will try to add some general ones to this part later or tomorrow as in monday bc it’s already past 3am n i’m [ madison beer vc ] dead.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 23rd June 2019

Typically I’d call a week where we have two top 10 debuts pretty busy but when that and a couple Drake songs are basically all we have, it’s not that big of a deal... but these very few new arrivals will have a lot to unwrap, so part of me thinks this won’t be a short episode at all.

Top 10

There were three songs I figured would definitely make a play for the top spot this week thanks to both star power and controversy. None of them even got close, because Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber are still at number-one for a sixth week since its debut. There’s a better Ed Sheeran song in the top 10, can we get that up instead?

Stormzy’s “Vossi Bop” is only moving up two spaces this week because of the collapse of the songs above him, but I’m not complaining his boost to the runner-up spot.

Similarly, Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” is up two spaces to number-three.

Unfortunately, this boost has lead Lewis Capaldi’s “Hold Me While You Wait” up an identical set of placements to number-four.

Now, we have the first guess I had for number-one, and that is “You Need to Calm Down” by Taylor Swift, which debuted at #2 in America, becoming her 13th Top 10 hit over here in the UK. We’ll talk more about this one later, and it’s definitely a can of worms I’m worried to open.

The Chris Brown song debuting last week, “No Guidance” featuring Drake, has also had a two-space boost up to number-six, because of Drake and not because of the fading relevance of Chris Brown.

Oddly, “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus has taken a hit five spots down to number-seven, but I really doubt this won’t be rebounding because of Nas’ EP that released last week.

Now this was my second guess for number-one, “Cross Me” by Ed Sheeran featuring Chance the Rapper and PNB Rock, up a singular space to number-eight this week. I think it’s a lock for the top five next week considering the video release, but we’ll see.

At number-nine, we have the late Avicii’s “SOS” featuring Aloe Blacc down two positions.

Finally, my third guess for number-one and one I’m surprised performed as it did. This is Little Mix’s “Bounce Back”, and that title is quite ironic but more on that later. Nevertheless, it’s their 14th UK Top 10 hit since their debut, and we’ll talk more about the song itself when it comes to it.

Climbers

There aren’t all too many here, but what is here I’m not exactly complaining about at all, because these are songs I really like. “3 Nights” by Dominic Fike, which is an insanely good song, has had a pretty large 10-space boost to #21, and I’ve  been rooting for this to get into the top 20 for a while now. There’s also last week’s debut which I quite liked, “Strike a Pose” by Young T & Bugsey featuring Aitch up five to #25, but that’s pretty much it. I wouldn’t usually note a song which is up four spaces either, but “Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey is at #22 now and I am rooting for this song so much, I am not giving up until this hits #1, it’s an outstanding song.

Fallers

Now we have a lot more of these to say the least. Starting in reverse order, “What Do You Mean?” by Skepta featuring J Hus is down 14 to #39, with “Greaze Mode” also by Skepta featuring Nafe Smallz down nine to #37 and “All Day and Night” by Jax Jones and Martin Solveig presenting EUROPA featuring Madison Beer down a whopping twenty-four spaces to #34 thanks to streaming cuts. We also have “Heaven” by the late Avicii featuring Chris Martin down eight spaces to #28 (The quicker the better), “Shine Girl” by MoStack featuring Stormzy down 10 spots to #23, “Grace” by Lewis Capaldi unfortunately not switching its spot with another Capaldi single as it’s down five to #17, speaking of, “Someone You Loved” is finally out of the top 10, down eight to #11, but I feel it’ll be back again when Little Mix drop off a bit.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

MoStack is proving his lack of longevity compared to Skepta as both of his album bomb hits from last week, “I’m the One” featuring Fredo and “Stinking Rich” featuring Dave and J Hus, are out from #39 and #19 respectively – probably because they weren’t any good in the first place. We also have the absolute collapse for Liam Gallagher’s “Shockwave” out from #22, but I don’t expect post-Oasis Gallagher singles to ever have any legs, so it’s fine. Thanks to hype dying down about the Detective Pikachu film the song was made for, “Carry On” by Kygo and Rita Ora is out from #35 and I don’t expect it to come back. Oh, and that Jonas Brothers song, “Sucker”, is out from #40 – finally. We do actually have a returning entry also, because “Summer Days” by Martin Garrix, Macklemore and Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy is back to #36. A lot of the songs outside the top 20 are showing promise actually, I’m definitely seeing a lot of improvement within the Top 40 and I’m excited for these to become fully fledged Summer hits. I’m also glad to hear a Macklemore verse on the charts again. This dude gets too much slack.

“ALBUM” BOMB?

Drake – The Best in the World Pack

This isn’t exactly an album but it’s an EP or single or whatever, a two-pack? I don’t know, but it’s Drake debuting two songs from the same project, so I’m going to count this as the third episode in a row with an album bomb. Drake’s “Best in the World Pack” is just a group of two trap bangers to celebrate the win of the Toronto Raptors, or whatever, I don’t care about American or in this case Canadian sport, I just have to review the music every week.

#33 – “Omertá” – Drake

Produced by OZ, EY and Deats

This is Drake’s 48th UK Top 40 hit, which is something I didn’t think could even possibly happen but sure, let’s go with it. This is one extended verse which a pretty janky guitar-lead trap beat behind it, with gliding strumming and an organ, it’s not all that awful of a production, but then Drake bores me insanely with his ramblings about “Mob tradition” because of course, he has mob ties (Lotta ties, lotta tieeeeeees) and he really wants us to know. So, he brings up Pusha T in his monotonous, droning delivery as he would typically do, with flows that sound like he’s just thinking of it on the spot and not really putting any effort in to connect his bars, in a typical Drake way where he develops the rhyme scheme by halting the momentum of his verse completely. There’s no mention of the Toronto Raptors, it’s just about him and honestly, it’s just something we’ve heard so many times before. The self-proclaimed “Petty king” doesn’t really have any interesting bars mostly because he doesn’t attempt wordplay. He’s just stating “I’m rich and got mob ties” a lot of the time, and then his verse literally fades out, but it sounds like it was right in the middle of a bar and he wanted to continue, but the producer cut him off. I don’t know, I don’t care.

#13 – “Money in the Grave” – Drake featuring Rick Ross

Produced by Cydney Christine, Ljay Currie and Asoteric

This beat was produced by an Instagram model, and is Drake’s 49th UK Top 40 hit, as well as Rick Ross’ something or other, I’m not going to bother counting especially since the Wikipedia page doesn’t list UK as a section in his featured singles so I’d have to go page by page. But yes, as expected with no-name producers, this beat isn’t any interesting and feels like a pretty non-subtle way of blending the new West Coast bounce that is very prominent now but keeping it safe with a menacing trap beat so it’s not as jarring and can age better than the people who really care about the culture and making West Coast hip hop about their experiences in that environment. Oh, but this song also kind of bangs to be honest with you. It’s a bit too non-existent for my taste, and by that I mean Drake’s vocals are mixed a tad too loud, I feel, and while his bars usually connect, they often feel a bit too much like sentences that just drift away from one ear to out the other, although some of them I remember because they’re especially kind of dumb, where he uses the fact that he’s friends with Max B to hit Kanye with another jab as well as saying he’s going to get a face tattoo, which Drake is definitely a bit too safe for. Also, he says this:

I got two phones, one need a charge / Yeah, they twins, I could tell they ass apart

How do these two lines make sense together? I don’t like to nitpick but Drake’s a rapper rapper so I feel the need to say that these lines directly juxtapose each other.

Anyway, this song is shorter than “Omertá” and actually has a chorus, yet is somehow just as boring, because Drake is way too dull to carry a beat this safe and only slightly West Coast-tinted so it has no real bounce, since it’s still grounded in a stilted trap beat. Rick Ross sounds half-asleep but his verse is pretty good, I especially like his inflections on “Bounce” and everything that rhymes with it. Also, his guest verse tag, the “M-Maybach Music”, will always be fire. I hope his pear diet is going well, but overall this just isn’t very interesting. How about we bring back a segment we haven’t done in a while just to show what real charisma and energy is in trap?

FEATURED SINGLE

“Lalala” – Y2K and bbno$

Produced by Y2K

Y2K is a producer who I haven’t heard much from, but the Canadian MC bbno$ is from the same camp as meme-rapper Yung Gravy, but I’d like to think they’re more than a meme and instead just rappers who use humorous and comedic deliveries to propel their punchlines and that’s never more evident than it is with bbno$’s breakout track that was released off of the back of a viral marketing campaign, “Lalala”. This song is dripping with carefree attitudes towards the music and shows how they’re actually having fun, which is something I didn’t notice with Drake and Rick Ross at all this week. The song starts with a short back-and-forth outtake from the recording sessions, which isn’t distracting enough to feel unwarranted on repeat listens, especially since it just takes eight seconds for that beat to drop and it wastes absolutely no time to get into it. The beat is a slick trap production infused with bouncy Latin guitar and occasional beeping noises, with bbno$’s delivery really shining out as he essentially just has three different choruses. The chorus is insanely catchy and he rides the beat with his high-pitched, somewhat mocking tone but the “verses” (Which feel like a different chorus) has an even more fun, somewhat emo-influenced flow, which I noticed because of the nasal tones of his voice and lack of need to really enunciate a single word he says. It’s not like the content is all that interesting, but there are quirks about it that really show his background as a meme/comedy-rapper, especially the use of the word “Wristicle” and instead of directly bragging about all the stacks he’s throwing, he starts the first verse with flexing his stable credit card score, with even some cool wordplay about Canada thrown in there. The nonsense chorus is so fun, and even when he breaks out of the two typical flows for a more typical triplet flow he puts on an accent and just runs out of words to say, but instead of feeling incompetent (Which it still kind of is but that’s the point), this feels like the dude is actually having fun and you know, enjoying his job and his lavish lifestyle – which, by the way, is probably not that lavish. The dude says the word “Wristicle” several times in the chorus, do you REALLY think he’s getting any?

EDIT: I have just found out he does not say “Wristicle” and instead says “Wrist, it go”. My headcanon is better. But yeah, check this out, it has a pretty kicking Latin groove behind the trap beat and mocking lyrics, it’s great.

NEW ARRIVALS

#10 – “Bounce Back” – Little Mix

Produced by Swiff D and Stargate – Peaked at #2 in Scotland

I can’t help but think this is pretty seriously underperforming. Okay, sure, a top 10 debut is nothing to scoff at, but history’s told us you expect a Little Mix single to hit the top spot, so after “Woman Like Me” stalled at #2 and the album wasn’t as successful (Although still massive), I have full belief that they’ve made the worst decision possible, having a rushed single to alleviate fears of falling off, and sadly that often leads to even less success with that single and album. The last time they made a comeback, it was special, but this is an afterthought single. Oh, yeah, well, the song isn’t all that awful, it’s got a pretty fun bounce reminiscent of both trap and New Orleans hip hop of the 90s, although it does feel like a pretty cheap, manufactured rendition. You can REALLY tell this is one of these rushed singles, as the vocal mixing isn’t as flashy as usual, in fact the whole song is really odd, to be honest. After Jesy’s rap verse about taking Vitamin D (That hasn’t been done before, I’m sure), there’s a meaningless pre-chorus from Jade that just repeats a bunch of words that don’t really add anything to the song at all, like I’m fine with bland lyrics but come on, it’s just a bunch of faux-female empowerment/sex song buzzwords, before a really janky chorus that just sounds like one of the girls but it’s apparently all of them? They have an interpolation of “Back to Life” by Soul II Soul, but since the production is too lowkey and minimalistic, the chorus taken straight from that track, a much more glamorous and over-the-top song, it doesn’t work being translated to a moody sex song, in fact the fact that it’s four girls on the chorus probably makes it so much worse than just having Perrie, the more audible one. Then there’s a plastic-ass sax solo and I give up, this really isn’t even trying to have a pop spectacle anymore. Big Sean did it better. Also, I have started watching Celebrity Gogglebox specifically for when this band appears on the charts, because then I can know the names and any Mixers who find my blog won’t get mad at me for accidentally calling one manufactured pop star by the name of another manufactured pop star. When their onstage personalities are this similar, I don’t feel the need to care. The only one that shines out to me is Jesy because she’s the most obnoxious and genuinely awful, mostly because she tries to rap and AAAAAAAAAAAA

#5 – “You Need to Calm Down” – Taylor Swift

Produced by Joel Little and Taylor Swift – Peaked at #1 in Scotland and #2 in the US

Can I skip this one as well? No? Okay, well, first of all, I do not like this song’s lyrical content not because I’m a raging homophobic hillbilly as the video may suggest. In fact, I think the video’s got a larger issue than the song itself, where she uses slang inherited from both black LGBTQ+ as well as stan culture to get her point across, as it paints all of the people who are negative towards LGBTQ+ culture, and no it’s not a generic empowerment anthem, she explicitly says the word “gay” in the pre-chorus, as poor and just Texan hillbillies without a sense of fashion. First of all, nobody’s protesting Taylor Swift of all people, so I have a sense that this is making the issue about herself. Second of all, we should be fighting the people in power with backwards ideals, and I feel like she doesn’t know who is actually suppressing the community, which would be the people up top who are making the laws and controlling society from their government buildings, making decisions for what’s “best” for America, and they’re usually not just hicks who’ve never seen a grand in their lives to say the least, they’re usually suit-and-tie types with net worths that’d make the Monopoly man cry himself to sleep. Also, I feel like once again, she makes the video about herself. The scene where she makes up with Katy Perry in fast food costumes is supposed to be cute but it takes away from the message at hand and really just distracts from the actual topic, which is, you know, LGBTQ+ communities and oppressed communities as a whole, not Katy freaking Perry. This type of pandering content from the 1% usually bothers me and profits aren’t going to charity, but she is giving to them and she is being vocal about these issues so what am I to complain? She’s bringing LGBTQ+ people (Most already in the spotlight) to the spotlight—oh wait, yeah, that’s dumb, the video is less of a profitable pride parade and more of both a PR statement and a misguided attempt that just ends up as a “Bad Blood”-type celebrity cameo frenzy. The song isn’t any good either, it’s a pretty bland synth-pop track that directly rips off “Paper Planes” by M.I.A., which, to be fair sampled its bassline from the Clash, but I can’t listen to this song without thinking of the beautiful jacksfilms video  comparing the two songs. Also, “you need to calm down”? “You need to just stop”? What a powerful statement, that is, Taylor(!), and your disinterested rap flows don’t help, with corny lines about taking shots at HER, let me repeat, HER, like it’s Patron and the haters just being mad, when they can be... GLAAD. Sigh.

Conclusion

I spent some time talking about how I was excited for the Summer hits, but none of these debuts are good. At all. That’s pretty great though because none of them sound like they’ll stick around except Taylor, and we all know how “ME!” is doing so maybe not even that. Worst of the Week goes to Taylor Swift for “You Need to Calm Down” and we have a tied Dishonourable Mention to Little Mix and Drake for “Bounce Back” and “Omertá”. Uh, I guess Best of the Week can go to Drake for “Money in the Grave”, but trust me, that is because of Rick Ross and no one else. Follow me on @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week!

[capricxs]

okay i’m back to do a formal plotting call in the tags! most of mine have dried up so i’m throwing the line out there to start some more that will hopefully stick. if you’re looking for DISCORD 1X1s, then i’m your gal! there’s a couple ideas for plots and characters i want to write below, otherwise it’s mainly fcs i’ve been wanting to play/play against. if you wanna do smth just like this and i can slide ur way.

i have lowkey been wanting a love triangle. note, not an ot3 but an actual love triangle. so an instance where a character ultimately has to chose one character over the other. so like one player plays the two and the other plays the one their falling for (if that makes sense, idk) it can be any sort of gender and this i’m definitely... more picky about doing because i’m only going to write it in a healthy way so i’d have to trust that my partner also understand that.

i recently did a meme where i talked about characters i’ve made and they’re p much all open, i’d love to see them swiped up (or if you want to hear about some other ones, you can send them in if you’d like to see some more! but the tag is here

my plot tag is here

here’s a list of fcs i’ve been wanting to play and play against. if i prefer to play them, it’ll be in italics, if i prefer to play against them, it’ll be bold. if i don’t care, it’ll be left normal.

james mcavoy keira knightley glen powell ariana grande harry styles shawn mendes gregg sulkin dylan hasselbaink mishti rahman lily james chloe bridges madison beer aubrey joseph herizen guardiola ryan gosling carey mulligan lulu b oscar isaac barbara palvin christina nadin laura harrier armie hammer chris pine clémentine desseaux sophie turner candice patton !!!! andrew garfield christian yu bob morely henry cavill halston sage