#that is to say my tastes are so heavily influenced by Batman that if you give my original stuff a chance I’m sure you’ll find something

[night-margie]

maybe someday my original art will get as much attention as any random Lego Batman comic I made in 2017

[pompous-puffed-up-penguin]

Bullseye (Fem!Reader/Captain Boomerang)

An encounter at a dingy bar in an alleyway.

AN: I needed a break from one of my other projects, so I whipped this up. Nothing too crazy, this was mostly me practicing characterization. Cap’s not really based on a particular version, but he’s heavily influenced by JLU Cap. (Oops, it’s no longer just Batman rogues, but have you seen this man??)

CW: Alcohol, flirting, nothing too crazy here

Word count: ~1k

You needed a drink.

Long night at the office, sorting through papers and smiling through the same small talk from your coworkers. It’s a peaceful life, but you have to admit that after a while, you needed a little spice. Even if it’s just drinking until your thoughts blur into one big, eccentric collection, it’s better than just going straight home and laying in bed, watching videos on your phone until you fall asleep.

That’s why you’re here now, in a grungy bar down an alley on your way home. It reeked of cigarette smoke, and the sound of billiard balls clattering against each other bounced along the walls. In the corner, darts flew towards the board as money traded hands away from the bartender’s gaze. You were only on your second drink, but the alcohol was already doing its work as you swallow down a hiccup, your eyes watering from the strong taste.

You look over to the game of darts, noticing a sudden hush over the spectators. As you look over, your eyes focusing on the man who has stepped up to the line, he raises his hand and steadies it, like all his muscles froze in place. Speaking of muscles, he had a nice set on him. Obviously, he kept himself fit. And in your intoxicated mind, thoughts wander to his chest over you, his arms beside you as he leans over you on a bed.

He throws his first dart, and it perfectly hits the center of the board. You look up to his face, seeing a hint of a smirk cross his lips. He had a nice face, too. Strong cheekbones, rough lips that looked as if they would be nice to kiss and nip at. As he raises his second dart, his blue eyes squint in concentration. With a flick of his wrist, the second dart finds its mark next to its partner.

And those eyes find its mark to yours. In that split second, your muscles turn to ice. Shit, he knows you were staring at him. But try as you might, you can't look away from him. And he doesn't look away, either. In fact, he raises a thick eyebrow, the corners of his mouth upturned in a sly grin. At that point, you realize your mistake. You've seen this man on the news. A string of robberies had plagued the city, and at the forefront was-

Without looking back at the board, he throws his third dart. Bullseye. A collection of cheers and groans rises from his audience as the winners gather their prizes. And the main attraction is still looking at you with that grin, like he enjoys watching you fluster. With heat rising to your cheeks, you turn your back to him and order another drink. Now look what you did, attracting the attentions of a super criminal. As the bartender brings you your glass, you fumble in your pocket for your wallet.

"Let me get that for you, love." A voice rolls into your ear as a hand slides a bill across the counter. After getting his payment, the bartender leaves to help his other customers, leaving you with the man you had just fantasized about before you recognized him. You almost don't want to turn to face him, thinking that maybe not acknowledging his existence will make him disappear. But when you still feel his presence, even after taking your first sip, you realize you're stuck and turn to him.

"Don't think I've seen you here before," he says, and you notice the heavy Australian accent in his voice, further cementing any suspicions you had of who he is. "But I had to come chat with my new fan."

New fan? Oh, right, the game of darts. You were so distracted by his sideburns you almost forgot.

He notices you stammer as you explain your coming here, just having a drink after work, and smiles. "Really. Don't strike me as the kind to wander this far off."

You just got bored of your usual spots, that's all.

"Yeah?" He raises an eyebrow, as if amused by this. "How's that workin' out?"

Well, you're far from bored right now. Especially since sitting next to you is-

The thief raises a finger and tuts. "Not tonight, sheila. Just here for a quick game, 's all." He leans forward, just enough that you can smell the beer on his breath. "Tonight, I'm just Digger. Alright?"

Feeling the blood rush to your cheeks again, you nod.

His low chuckle hits your libido like an earthquake. "Good girl." And there's the aftershock.

"Got any plans for the rest of the night?"

You almost forget to answer, still recovering from the assault on your heart. No, you were just going to have one more drink and head home.

"Oh, that's a shame." Digger sneaks an arm around behind you, his hand around your waist. Whether it was the alcohol or your frazzled nerves, you don't stop him. "See, I was thinking, if you weren't busy," he mumbles, "I know this nice hotel down the block. And if you wanted, I'd get us a room with a view with my winnings." His hand slides down to your hip, and his thumb snakes under your shirt, stroking at your bare skin and sending shivers up your spine and down your groin. "And I could spoil you. Show you how we do things down under." Normally, a cheesy line like this would have made you think twice. But somehow, coming out of Digger's mouth, it sounded so charged.

Hold on, think about this. This man was a criminal. Captain fucking Boomerang. He's killed people and he's stolen money out from under everyone with a pulse. And you are seriously considering sleeping with him?

Well, he is attractive. And this would be great bragging rights. Maybe you can treat yourself to just one night?

Alright. But you have to finish this drink first.

Noticing the sparkle in Digger's eyes, you figure you gave the correct answer. "Don't worry, love. I'll be real good for you."

[twistedtummies2]

Gotham’s 31 Most Wanted - Number 4

Welcome back to Gotham’s 31 Most Wanted! Each day of January, I’m counting down my Top 31 Favorite Batman Villains of all time! Today’s villainess is, quite frankly, too popular for her own good. Number 4 is…Harley Quinn.

Oh, Harley…Harley, Harley, Harley…WHAT am I to do with you? Harley Quinn is a character I have a bit of a…curious relationship with. I would say she is to Batman fans like me what I think the film “A Christmas Story” is to a lot of people. There was a time when she was that one Batman character that almost no one knew about. Harley, as many will know, originated in the popular DC Animated Universe, starting with “Batman: The Animated Series.” The character was heavily influenced by the henchgirls the villains would have in the 60s show with Adam West (there are at least a couple I’m positive HAD to have been a direct inspiration, whether anybody says it aloud or not), and was voiced by Arleen Sorkin – who was also something of an influence on the character’s personality and appearance. Harleen Quinzel started out as a gun moll of the Joker; once she had been an up-and-coming psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum, but her ambitions and inexperience led to her being bamboozled by the Clown Prince of Crime, and she fell in love with her patient. The more the Joker worked his black magic on her, the more into depravity Harleen fell, till she eventually adopted the moniker of Harley Quinn – a pun on “Harlequin” – and became the Joker’s daffy accomplice on many a caper. In the show, Harley was a fun and frenetic character – being both complex and interesting as well as just plain nutty – and quickly became a fan favorite, reappearing in multiple spinoffs…but I don’t think anybody expected her to go anywhere after the DCAU ended its collective run. Lord, if only… At first, Harley’s movement was fairly small; I remember those days, because I lived them. She appeared as the main antagonist of the series “Birds of Prey,” but that never really went anywhere. They reimagined her in “The Batman,” but again, that never really went anywhere. Heck, she even appeared in comics, starting with her very own self-titled series…but even THEN, she wasn’t MASSIVELY popular. Heck, not even a small appearance in a big storyline like “Hush” seemed to properly put her on the map! It’s really hard for me to precisely pinpoint WHEN Harley’s popularity exploded, or even WHY it exploded…but suddenly, without any given warning, she started showing up EVERYWHERE. Her appearances in comics became increasingly more frequent and with more and more focus being placed on her; more TV shows and video games not connected to the DCAU began popping up with her in them. She now even has her own TV series, and a movie that, despite being called “Birds of Prey,” is really a Harley Quinn movie above all else. And throughout a lot of interpretations, she’s been able to move away from the Joker in a variety of ways, becoming more and more of a focal point on her own terms. Now…there are two types of Harley fans out there. Some who just love Harley in freaking everything and seem to worship the ground she treads on…and others who are effectively “Harley Purists.” To them, Harley Quinn is the Joker’s Queen, and they just can’t stand all these new interpretations that have popped up over time. Now, I don’t really count myself 100% in EITHER category…but if I had to take a side, I’d go with the Harley Purists. To me, I don’t mind all the various reinventions of Harley, but I just find that very few of them work for me. I don’t mind her being a bit more evil in things like “Birds of Prey” or the Arkham games, but then you have things like “Gods and Monsters” or the Telltale version, both of which I really can’t stand. I don’t mind her changing out of her “classic attire,” but I seriously don’t get all the biker gal imagery, and a lot of her outfits just seem to be either trying to hard to be “sexy,” or are simply garish and ridiculous, even for Harley Quinn. I don’t even mind her being with characters other than the Joker! Let’s face it, that wasn’t the healthiest relationship…but I don’t always feel the characters they DO match her with instead make sense to me, nor do I feel most of those (if any) relationships have the poetry that the Joker had. I also REALLY don’t like how promiscuous Harley is in a lot of modern stories; sure, the original Harley could be flirtatious, and they made it clear she was no angel, but there was a subtlety to it that I think worked to its advantage. To me, there’s always been a childlike quality to Harley that should be retained, and a lot of modern takes seem to miss that mark by a nautical mile, one way or another. Bottom line, CONCEPTUALLY all these innovations are fine! I just think that the number of times they actually WORK, at least to my personal taste – and that IS ultimately the test here, just personal taste – is fairly small. As a result, over time I’ve started to get a little bit ANNOYED by Harley, because it almost feels like she’s sticking her nose in places she doesn’t need to be, and that the writers are playing with her in ways they really shouldn’t have tried. WITH THAT SAID…I know a lot of people disagree. If you’re a huge Harley fanboy or fangirl, and you love all these new trials, good for you! They clearly have to be pleasing somebody, and as long as it’s for the right reasons, enjoy what you will! I’ll just always take the original version any day over pretty much ANY of the reimaginings we’ve gotten since. Having stated all of that…I DO still find I love Harley, even if I’m frustrated with how she’s handled a lot of the time. She’s funny and fascinating; there’s a sort of sweetness and kindness to Harley, in most interpretations, that gives her a sense of being a “light in the darkness.” Despite that, she’s still capable of horrific acts; it often seems like Harley works best when she has someone to bounce off of – Joker, Poison Ivy, Killer Croc, Deadshot – and depending on who she is with and why, that often dictates what level of cruelty we can expect. In cases where Harley IS on her own, more or less, she still holds strong, being able to either show what a capable villain she is, or just being able to showcase her comedy. The reason so many people do so much with Harley Quinn is because you CAN do so much with Harley Quinn. So I do still feel her high placement here is personally justified; she’s flawed, but I still love her. She sort of shares that quality with our next entry on the countdown…but that’s another story. We’ve entered the Top Three! Tomorrow I’ll be covering my 3rd Favorite Batman Villain. HINT: “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Bat…How I Wonder What You’re At…?”

[scribeofred]

2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47!

2. Whatis your latest fandom?

My latestfandom is Batman in terms of fic. There’s a wealth of reading material in it,and it is almost perfectly suited to my preference for brothers-relatedmaterial. There are also some very very very good writers to be found, and I’menjoying being able to consume in a large scale again, at least when I’m notsick of reading due to work.

3. Whatis the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

In termsof “this is my ideal place and I am never leaning,” absolutely Thunderbirds. It’salso a… very small fandom, and for a choosy consumer such as myself, that’sbeen a serious problem over the last year or two, what with the departure of alot of my favorite writers. Nevertheless, the world and the characters have embeddeddeep in my heart, and I’ll always be around somewhere in the fandom in one iterationor another.

5. Whichfandoms have your written fanfiction for?

A few! Ihave published fics for TRON: Legacy, Assassin’s Creed, FFVII, Star Wars, Sherlock,Thunderbirds, FFXV, and VLD.

As far asentirely unpublished fandoms… I have an enormous Merlin AU completelyoutlined, but I only wrote snippets of it. Too bad, because it was going to beSO GOOD. Alas, I am no good with monster projects, so it languishes, probablyforever. Unless I post the outline here. Hmm. I could do that…

7. Listyour NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Oh man. Well.Let’s see. Automatically anything incest or slash, they’re just not my mug ofpomegranate juice. Other than that, I’m relatively fluid when it comes topairings and tend to go in for anything that’s well-written and has dynamicsthat are to my taste, so I rarely hit upon pairings that make me nope entirely out.I tend to just not care about anything that doesn’t strike my fancy.

11. Whois your current OTP?

As notedabove, I am not a hardcore shipper. Favorite pairings come and go depending onmood and whether they’ve become boring due to overuse/overexposure/passage oftime or not. If I had to pick, I’d say I still default to Scott/Penny, though,because I’m still writing ’em.

13. Goon, who are your BroTPs?

Mostrecent fandoms only, in no particular order: Shiro & Pidge, Shiro &Hunk, Keith & Pidge, Keith & Hunk (VLD); Scott & Virgil, Scott& John, insert-all-possible-bro-combinations-here (TB); Dick & Jason,Jason & Stephanie, Jason & Cass, Cass & everyone, Jason & Damian(Batman).

17. Whatship have you written the most about?

I am stillinfluenced a ton by TOS, so as of the last five years, it’s Scott/Penny. They’rethe ultimate power couple, both heirs to enormous fortunes, and let’s face it:they look incredible on each other’s arm. The dynamics are lovely between them,very arch, very clever, and finding ways to make them relax around one anotheris just genuinely my favorite.

19. Anyships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Nyx/Araneafrom FFXV came out of the blue. I think I saw someone had written it once duringone of my only glances at the fandom’s AO3 section, and it lodged in my brain. Imean. I’ve read exactly one (1) fic for them and have written an equal numberof fics with them, and I don’t really think about them on my own time nowadays,but they did click with me, at least very briefly. I also super wasn’texpecting to like Shiro/Allura from VLD, but they touched hands in S2, and Idid that little flappy hand thing and made The Noise, and I knew I was InTrouble.

23. Whatfic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

See, I dothis thing. Where once I’ve posted a fic, I am disinclined to reread it withoutsome serious—usually external—prompting. Not because I hate it! But because I’vejust moved on to new ideas—that one has had all the hooks it had in my brainreleased by way of posting the story, and I don’t need to think about it anylonger. I’m not very interested in rewriting old material, although last week Idid reread Three Towels and a Tracy for the first time in a couple years, and Imade a few tiny tweaks to the AO3 version for improved readability. I edit soheavily while I initially write a story, though, that I really don’t leavemyself much room for editing/rewriting at a late date.

Arealistic answer would be “probably the first ten or so stories I posted becauseI know So Much More about writing, especially the technical elements, now thanI did then, and there are undoubtedly many missing/misplaced commas int them.”

29. Whatinspires you to write?

Sometimesit’s vivid mental images that I Must Put Into Words (an upcoming FFVII story);sometimes a piece of art or a song compels me to put words down. Imagery is abig thing in my writing, so it tends to be something visual that sparks aproject, although occasionally combinations of words just *sing* to be put downsomewhere. Truth told, I write for SS and no one else, so yeah, she’s myinspiration.

31. Doyou listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which bandor genre of music does it for you?

Music inand of itself rarely inspires me these days, with one notable exception, but I dousually listen to it while writing. Anything instrumental gets at least tried,but I lean toward film/game/TV scores (Hans Zimmer yaaaaaasssss), smooth jazz, epicproduction music, and some electronic music. If music is too much for onereason or another, I will pull up a soundscape generator—myNoise is amazing; I’vebeen all over the Black Hole soundscape recently—and let that run on animatefor an hour or two.

37. Doyou use established canon characters, or do you create OCs?

I alwaystry to write canon characters unless it’s necessary to create a person for aspecific scenario. OCs can be hard to connect with unless you’re very good at makingreaders care, so they’re a bit risky. I know I prefer to read about canoncharacters, though, so that drives my thinking when I create plots/scenarios.

41. Listand link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

@preludeinz is just… one of the best writers you’re ever going to find. The way she’sable to take literally any scenario or characters and make them interestingbaffles me even years into knowing her, and you will not find a better writer todescribe clothing. She’s as brilliant at handling character interactions as sheis at describing lasagna food. Also, her dialogue is A++

lurkinglurkerwholurksis another complete package. Everything about their writing is engaging andfeels so polished, and they have an enviable ability to capture characters’ voices.I’m constantly blown away by the quality of their work, and I’m waiting withbated breath for the next chapter of Nature and Nurture.

@headspacedad writes some of the best stream of consciousness I’ve encountered. The firstchapter of their story Falling took my breath away, and subsequent updatescontinue to knock the air out of me. Writing a character who’s lost a primarysense is no easy feat, but they make it incredibly easy, and indeed the storyis so rich with details that it’s 100% better that way.

If youwant a writer who’s going to challenge you with each chapter, each scene, eachparagraph, each sentence, pollywantsa is absolutely the writer for you. I’mperhaps a tiny bit traumatized by one particular work, but in general every storyis worth reading. There’s a sense of weight to each piece, a gravity that goesbeyond fandom trappings and sinks into your very bones, lives like mercury inthe bottoms of your lungs, dragging you down into the unshakable truths that areinescapably human. Real people make wrong decisions, destroy other people orthemselves; they are crude and profane and selfish and so very beautiful intheir imperfections, and polly will remind you of that with each tone-perfectword they’ve laid down.

Roundingout the list is @velkynkarma. Unusual stories and unique situations that I neverwould have considered reading are some of my favorite stories because of VK’sskill at finding the engaging threads to pull into the light. Space mouse vsCoran? Amazing. Keith + space mouse shenanigans? Incredible. Zarkon + eldritchhorror? Terrifying but so engaging. Slav and Sven AU? Worthy of popcorn. Heapsof Shiro angst? Sign me up. The high quality of both storytelling and technicalskill are not to be missed, and every new story and chapter updated is a TREAT.

(honorarymention: @deepwaterstars for being the sunbeam to my moonbeam

43. Whatship do you feel needs more attention?

Uh… I’mnot sure tbh. I’m not a “shipper,” and I tend to read gen fic as a wholesalerule. I wouldn’t mind seeing a bit more Virgil/Penny, I guess?

47. Doyou leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/why not?

Mmmm.See. This is the thing I’m trying to get better about. Because I tend to go ALLIN when I comment and drop a solid 300–500 words, and that takes time, even ifthe words are flowing. I find it hard to write something more modest, because Iknow exactly how much I drool over the writers who leave me enormous comments,and I want to give them the same feelings. I tend to only comment whensomething has truly moved me, especially since I’ve tried to move on from the unasked-forcritique-style reviews. Maybe one day I’ll find a happy middle ground.

ask me about fanfic!

[twiststreet]

Feeling too tired to do my day, so just lying around in a bathrobe (bathrobes were on sale at Ikea, so I decided to become a bathrobe guy!  I should’ve become bathrobe guy ages ago-- it’s like wearing a blanket!), catching up on comics.

Wrapped up Peter Cannon: Thunderbolt, which I’d been writing about here and here (though you’re way better off reading  Adventures in Poor Taste’s writing about it-- they're more passionate about the project and more delighted to unpack it-- I’m just some old, crotchety weirdo that stopped liking things sometime shortly after the third issue of Civil War).  I just didn’t think it was about very much at all, in the end, though it kind of insists otherwise throughout.  It believes in itself, the scamp-- the swagger’s admirable, at least...

It mostly resolves itself as just being a comic about a desire that comics move forward from Watchmen.  Which at the outset is weird to me because while I’ve hardly read a lot of his stuff, I’d read at least some of those Keiron Gillen comics-- that guy’s influenced by Watchmen?  Oh okay.  I hadn’t... I hadn’t noticed, but.  And to be fair, I felt very influenced by Wes Anderson’s Grand Budapest Hotel when I was doing a poo the other day, so who am I to... I’m just a guy that takes twee pastel shits-- I can’t pass any kind of judgment here, so... 

But also, move forward to what?  There, the best the comic can try to answer it is with (arguably its best issue) the Eddie Campbell issue, which is celebrating the quotidian smallness of normal life.  But there aren’t any characters in the comic.  How do you do a comic with no characters in it that argues for how comics should look to normal life for inspiration more (or make that argument in a comic about defying Watchmen or whatever, which has about a zillion more normal people characters in it than this does???  It contains that critique within itself!)?  I mean, maybe that absence is part of the point, creates an arc, etc., but the “having its cake and eating it too” of it all seems like it undermines its own argument...  Or it talks about "Envying” a sort of pastiche of those things in the Eddie Campbell issue, but I just think it comes across as a fashionable pose-- because it’s got no real thematic concerns outside of comics.  Morrison made a bunch of comics about how we all need new ideas too-- then he wrote Batman comics.  He liked to do little poses next to Watchmen, too... 

As a personal exorcism of Watchmen’s influence, the comic’s, you know, fine.  The “How they beat the baddie” bit is clever.  The drawings of the baddie eating the pipe are pretty fun-- it’s a pretty fun comic to look at generally.  I didn’t really get every choice the letterer made, but it looked like they were having fun, so good for them.  But it’s... It’s just very, very odd outside of that context.  As the Adventures in Poor Taste folks point out, Moore walked from Watchmen ages ago.  And then the rest of the world-- unauthorized Watchmen sequels; pirate Watchmen TV shows; an audience that is in a state of permanent embitterment, hostility or unearned condescension towards Alan Moore; comic creators and publishers having “Go fuck yourself, Alan Moore” as their default stances... 

Like, this comic posits a world where Watchmen is a villain.  But that’s not our world.  Our world is the exact opposite:  we’re the villains. Keiron Gillen did this for Dynamite-- anyone think Dynamite’s on their side?  Answer: yeah, read the papers-- fucking Comicsgate does.  The comic’s just very oblivious to its context.  But that context is that nothing matters to anyone.  So this comic's whole orientation just seems... very odd.

The big cheer moment that the internet seems to love is the hero of this comic standing over the avatar of Watchmen and saying “you did it 30 years ago.”  Like, haha, suck it, old thing, your time has passed.  Which I suppose is a meaningful thing to say if we were still in the era of “Comics should be pop” that Gillen came of age at on shitty online messageboards.  If your antecedents are pop music where 30 years is perhaps a lot, instead of books.  But the people who went on and on about pop in comics, their work is mostly nothing.  You want to be the guy reading Grant Morrison comics in 2019?  I still like Doom Patrol or whatever (No thanks on your little TV show) but I find the idea of having read as much of his stuff as I have kind of embarrassing now.  That’s how pop works.  But if you live in the world of actual books by actual writers... 30 years for a book...?  That’s not... anything.  The conversation hasn’t even really started at 30 years.

But of course, now there is no conversation.  It’s weird seeing an internet that cheered Watchmen getting stolen away from its writer, as unauthorized Watchmen TV shows are getting trailers put out, now cheer a comic that tells Watchmen that it’s old and can’t show us the way forward and...?   The layers of indecency to that are just... I mean, Lucy just pulled away the football; she didn’t spike it on Charlie Brown’s fucking face!  But I don’t flatter myself to think we live in any more profane times than any other times.  I mean, the newspapers aren’t great to read lately, but.  The last time a comic came out that was oblivious to exploitation and heavily annotated by its creator, it was Paying For It, though...

But thinking about my own personal malaise-- which is probably mostly, you know, just being middle aged and all... It’s just constantly of interest (alarm?) to me how little stuff seems to matter.  How little anything sticks anymore-- the thing about that “30 year line” that this comic refuses to grapple with, is that Watchmen came from an era where shit stuck; and now we’re not in that era anymore; people online praising this comic but even if it’s as good as they say, it’ll be forgotten in a year, if it makes it that long because the way our culture works now. Best case scenario: people are going to be angry about Watchmen’s influence for a longer time than they’re going to remember Peter Cannon standing up to it because something in our culture feels like it’s fucking broken. (Worst case scenario:  I get full-blown AIDS).  Or you look how angry people got watching Game of Thrones just tell an ordinary story to them instead of something that justified the 1000 hours they spent mentally worried about the politics of Planet Skeksie or whatever the fuck they were going on about... They got so mad!!! Because they just got an ordinary story and what are those worth?  Nothing!  

And some of that you chalk up to “Oh all the movies are franchises now” or you know: capitalism.  But I just... I wonder if it’s maybe that when you have a larger story that a culture’s telling itself, these smaller stories can stick more maybe.  Or to put in comics terms, Watchmen came out at a time when comics were telling a coherent story about what comics were, and where they’d come from, and where they might be headed.  And in the world generally, and in comics especially, maybe those larger stories don’t make any sense anymore.  Does the story the UK tells itself make sense after Brexit?  Does the story the US tells itself make sense after ‘16?  Especially as Watchmen itself has become a symbol of that now more than ever in comics-- Watchmen tells us a story now about comics that people don’t want to hear:  the bad guys fucking won.  And this is their world.  And people can point the finger at comicsgate or whoever else as being aberrations, but it all just seems very ... consistent.   People don’t want to hear that story-- they want to hear how you can read a bunch of old work-for-hire comics off some fucking app now-- that’s 90% of the “comics discourse” now, so... fuck it... 

If we’re in a culture where the bigger stories stop functioning, what... what then?  You know?  I don’t fucking know.  I’ve kind of started rambling there, haven’t I?  Aawwwwwfuck, sorry...

Well, anyways, now I’m going to read a Dash Shaw Clue comic.  Hahahaha!  

TLDR:  Abhay is a bathrobe guy now -- they’re like wearing a blanket!

[olwog]

So Peeps, today we’ll learn about the heroics of superheroes and we have a lovely meal in Seillans. This beautiful village sprawls a little bit around the side of the Provence Alps near Cote de Azure and it’s a delight but it has a dark secret.

Harry and Zak before metamorphosis to superheroes

As we’re getting ready to go for a meal in a little square at the Restaurant La Gloire de mon Pere (literally “The Glory of my Father”) not sure if it’s Biblical or someone had a nice dad or, indeed, because tonight is a meal in honour of Lewis who’s survived another year and we’re celebrating his birthday. Of course, it could also be because the menus look good!

Tonight the boys are getting changed into their best going out clothes when a call comes in on the ‘special’ orange handset, it looks like a toy but everyone knows that it’s for communications from world leaders who believe the peace of the world is at stake and tonight, just as we’re about to go out, it rings.

Zak answers and nods a lot then calls Harry to explain they have a job to do and will require their Batman outfits to maintain their anonymity; he couldn’t actually say anonymity, but that’s what he meant.

So, after a brief discussion and some help from Mum they’re ready and I have to say having witnessed their warm up session earlier when they wrestled a crocodile with a foot pump, I’m feeling safer already.

Ready for anything that world villains can throw at us.

So, front door is opened and the two bat people go out like, well errr, like bats and do a Starsky and Hutch roll with Glock held in both hands and ready for action – a bit like Lewis entering a pub. Thankfully there are no Mr. Bigg’s around to spoil our evening and watching this enactment of extra precaution has meant we’re feeling confident we’re safe.

On a no action day it’s just a wonderful everyday family

Our getaway car is a Peugeot 2008 with a secret power unit that has to be experienced to be believed so I’ll not dwell on it. With neck snapping acceleration, well actually it was a bit of a jerk, we’re off along the main drive that’s been heavily disguised as a back lane as an additional precaution against world bullies and people with funny hair cuts.

As we get to Seillans we can appreciate the antiquity of this lovely little place. According to Wikipedia it’s one of the prettiest villages in France and I have to agree.

Legend would have it that the name Seillans is derived from the Greek goddess of the moon, Selene, or alternatively that the name is from a Roman knight called Selenus. It is probably more likely that the name was derived from some of the first settlers here, the Celtic-Ligurian tribe, the Sayllens in around 500 BC.

Then over the years various ‘visitors’ have left their mark including Greeks, Romans, Muslims and Christians a hint of secularism when a few toffs and other dignitaries were shown the intricacies of Madam le Guillotine at closer quarters during the ten years of the Révolution Française.

The buildings that have survived are influenced by all of the above and we’re now treated to a visual delight clinging to the slopes and offering well maintained alleyways and narrow cobbled streets. Just the place to hide threats to world peace, I’m so glad we have BatHarry and BatZak to keep us safe.

We park with the Batmobile pointing in the direction of travel to facilitate a fast escape should the need arise and we make our way past the Maquis pub/cafe/restaurant perched on the ridge and overlooking the beautiful plain between the southern Alps and Esterel. I note the Maquis for patronage at some point through this holiday. It’s named after a resistance movement in the last war and a beer with a view like this is hard to dismiss.

Beautiful Seillans

We make our way to the bar Charlotte which is in the middle of our little area with plenty of people passing enabling a full people-watch to be established and with this being an ‘arty’ village there are plenty of colourful characters. Apparently, In the late Sixties and early Seventies Max Ernst and Dorothea Tanning made Seillans their home. The village hosts a substantial Max Ernst collection, including several sculptures in open air.  It also enables our two Bats to regroup and plan the defence of the village.

Twenty minutes and reference to numerous odd but interesting people later (coupled with the production of a defensive plan) and we’re heading to the restaurant.

Lewis has been practicing his best French on the way here in the car. He takes a deep breath and tells the guy that we’ve a table booked and the waiter respond in word perfect English that’s it’s over here and within seconds we’re seated at a gloriously placed table on the periphery of the eating area, just perfect.

BatHarry and BatZak need to sit next to Grandad so I’m sandwiched between perfect security, I really couldn’t be feeling better. This is a wonderful little square, the temperature is about 25 degrees Celsius and there are beautiful trees over and around us. The tables are arranged with plenty of space and sit on cobbles with beer mats to keep them steady. There’s the fountain L’Amour in the middle with gentle jets of water keeping various posies of flowers fresh.

Restaurant La Gloire de mon Pere (literally “The Glory of my Father”)

The meal is astonishingly good with some of the best steak I’ve ever tasted and it wasn’t even my meal!

We spend a good hour and a half with the ‘protectors of world peace’ consuming a couple of excellent beers and great food (our BatBodyguards, of course, are not drinking, preferring to keep clear heads for whatever threats there may be on the way home). We make our way back towards the car along narrow, cobbled streets with ancient buildings on either side BatZak is in front scouting whilst BatHarry does the sweeping then they swap to ensure the enemy is kept on permanent alert.

Super-Heroes in action

BatZak going into hyperdrive

BatZak morphing and BatHarry lurking on point.

Surveying a Square for World Villains

At the bottom of the alley there is a branch to the left that enables both bats to consolidate our position and survey the main road for baddies and we make our way back to the car.

 Superheroes discussing strategy.

                                                       An excellent evening and safe too, I’m glad we had the superheroes to protect us, job well done. Oh, did I say the food and company were exceptional. I love you Bats…G..x

PS: Thanks to Nadine and Robbie for the loan of their wonderful Villa. You are lucky and descerning people to have it and we’re lucky people for your generosity. X

Seillans and the Defence of the World So Peeps, today we’ll learn about the heroics of superheroes and we have a lovely meal in Seillans.